#his league streams will do i guess (the only person i will watch LoL for lmaoooo)

[tomfrogisblue]

one of the true highlights of the qsmp was introducing non-french speakers to how fucking awesome and hilarious etoiles is

[owaowabetch]

Uh Oh (Sykkuno x F!Reader)

Oneshot (maybe part of a series??? idk we’ll see): The Prequel to “Impasta” in which reader meets the gang for the first time and experiences a betrayal. Mainly Friendship

Warning: non-beta, I wrote this in one go and full sent it. 

You were a small time Twitch streamer that had recently befriend a streamer with a much larger audience, ValkyRae.  You had been talking back and forth for quite some time, since Rae’s dm to you weeks ago. You were mainly an rp channel where you played games like GTA, The Sims, and Animal Crossing. Though you gained a lot of your followers from playing League, though it mostly consisted of hate-followers that would only critique your gaming, even though you were pretty good at it. But it doesn’t bother you too much *que sob*

You were streaming GTA on a RP server playing an amish girl on a Rumspringa and wreaking havoc. You and your ‘gang’ had successfully finished hitting a bank truck ,causing your character to rake in a few thousand dollars, when you got a message from Rae asking you if you had wanted to play a few rounds of the popular game among us. 

“Alright guys, a friend asked if I wanted to join her lobby of among us. I know it’s different from the stuff i usually stream, but is that something you guys would be cool with?” You asked your chat and watch an influx of people messaging ‘yes’ or ‘pog’. You take a sip of your Starbucks and picked up your phone to message Rae that you’ll be joining. “Fair warning, I’ve never played among us. So we’ll see how this goes, guys” 

While you waited to be invited to the discord and into the lobby, you chatted with your viewers for a bit. “I just realized that I’m really awkward around new people. Like when I’m playing on the GTA Rp Server, I’m not myself, I’m a character you know? So it’s easier to talk with other people, cause they’re also role playing. Plus I don’t think I can call anyone in the discord a musty dusty rat bitch lol or sell them drugs, it’s not that kind of game...unless?...” You laugh as you login to your discord and accept the invite to the discord “alright guys! here we go~”

You enter the discord call and hear people talking. 

“Y/N!” Rae exclaims “Guys this is my new friend y/n”

“Hi” Responding to the various voices greeting you

“OK, so the code is in the chat and so are the bubbles, so your chat can see who is talking and what not” Rae explains

You input the code and saw your little character in the space ship. “Oh god guys look at us!” You ran your little character around the ship “How do we change colors? I’m not feeling this blue and I saw Rae with her lil creepy mask”

You read your chat tell you what to do so you went to the little computer to change the blue to white and clicked through all the hats til you decided on the pink flower. “How about this guys? Yellow is my favorite color but its taken”

“Alright, you ready y/n?” Rae asked

“Yup” you respond by running circles around her character

“OK i’m starting. Don’t forget to mute and close chat. You can open it back up if your imposter or dead” Rae sang “Good luck~”

“Alright chat I gotta close you til the game is done? I guess” You hum as the words ‘crewmate’ pop up. “Well at least i’m not imposter, i know the game. I mean who hasn’t at this point. I just never played it, seems to be to nerve wracking”

You open the map icon and run to where the closet yellow exclamation point was, which was admin. You make sure to note all the colors around you in there as you swipe your card “Alright, green, yellow, brown,red, and orange” You repeated the colors over and over again as you make your way into electrical when you notice something “Ok uh green is following me? I don’t know why but its freaking me out.” The lights turn off and you start freaking out “Oh god, this is where I die. Don’t I? You know what do it. Kill me! It’s probably a good idea. I’m kind of an idiot and it’ll help me figure things out on my own without the pressure” You follow the arrow pointing to a panel and you click on it “What am i supposed to do? You know green, this would be the perfect opportunity to murder me in cold blood... is this how you do it?” You flip the switches so that they are all bright green and the lights turn on “YAS BITCH, I did it” 

The green character kind of just circles your body as you do tasks in electrical, you do download, wires, and power diverter. “Ok BUT WHY IS HE FOLLOWING ME!!” 

An orange body had been reported and that two others had died (bright green and pink) and the person who reported the body was black or as his name read ‘Abe’ “Ok, so this body was in admin on card swipe”

“Well this body couldn’t have been me or y/n” Sykkuno says “I was following her this entire time”

“Yea, I’d like to know why lol? You were kinda freaking me out dude” You laugh a bit trying to play off how nervous you were to call him out on it

“Oh No! I was protecting you” Sykkuno explains “I promise”

“Sykkuno? Are you already simping for someone?” Rae feigns exasperation 

“No really guys!” He explains nervously “The new person always dies first, so I was just trying to protect her.”

You hum and smile mischievously “Unless, your just trying to gain my trust only to murder me in coldblood in front of my bestie Rae, to prove your superiority over her!?!”

Rae gasps “Really Sykkuno!?! I’m voting you just for that!”

“Wah? No wait! It’s not like that really” Sykkuno starts laughing as Rae votes “Oh God did you really vote for me?”

“Yes” Rae says and you start laughing 

“So anyways, Leslie’s body is in admin?” Hafu says wanting to talk more about the body and get all the sus’s and clears

Though you gasp when you realized a few things “wait I have some info to share” teasing Sykkuno had loosened you up a bit “it was me,green,yellow,brown,red, and orange in admin. Then me and green, uh Syyykkkuunnoo? Sorry if i didn’t say your name right, left and went into electrical, then lights were called and I fixed them before finishing off my tasks in there. So the body must’ve died during lights unless she left and came back into admin after lights were fixed? which doesn’t make much sense, sooo yea” you smiled “look at me chat! being all smart and shit” 

“yes” Poki agrees “I left admin also with Rae just before lights were called”

“Ok, so I know that puts sus on me, but I went straight to lights when they were called” Hafu says “Someone on the right side must’ve vented when lights were off. Like I was entering the hallway from storage with Tina when lights got fixed and we went to reactor room together. So it couldn’t have been me. Maybe Tina? I dont know which way she come from, but it was not me”

“That is true. I did meet up with Hafu at storage, but I don’t know man” Tina says “ I was doing download in comms”

“Oh god” You tell chat “I don’t know whether to believe Hafu or not. I know she is really good, along with Toast, but he hasn’t said anything”

“Well it is seven and we don’t vote on seven, so we can skip. Just putting a sus on Hafu” Rae says

“Yes please do” Hafu says as she votes to skip

“Do we know where the other bodies are?” Poki asks as the seconds start to dwindle down to zero “Also Toast? Why are you so quiet?”

“I’m trying to figure out a new strat, so don’t you worry. I’ll catch the killers” Toast starts to evil laugh and that was the end of the meeting.

“Ok we’re susing Hafu for this.Though I don’t think it’s her only cause I remember watching one of her imposter plays and it would be a too obvious kill,since so many people were there, it just doesn’t make sense, so someone venting in and killing is plausible or could be a self report? I don’t know lol It’s my first game” You run with Sykkuno and finish up your tasks together. Though lights were called when you both were at shields, you can see the vent pop open and in your little vision bubble you see a flash of red “Whelp this is where I die, I’d like to rate Sykkuno an 8 out of 10 for protecting me, but obviously I am now died” True to your word Rae killed you and you saw Sykkuno running around like a headless chicken when he reports your body 

“Oh God! They got her when I was trying to protect her!” Sykkuno exclaims 

“Sykkuno! You were supposed to be protecting her!?” Rae shouts “What happened? Did you kill her in cold blood? hmm?”

“smh Rae, you murdered me right in front of Sykkuno” You sigh “Well chat looks like I’m dead and we can speak now”

“No!” Sykkuno denies “I said I was going to protect her. I wouldn’t kill her after saying that”

“Well she’s dead now Sykkuno! Where’s the body?” Toast dramatically says

“It’s in shields. It happened when lights were off” Sykkyno says “I’m sorry y/n, I couldn’t protect you”

“Aw that is so cute” You pout at his apology, it wasn’t his fault. It was dark, so obviously he couldn’t see

“Well I don’t think Sykkuno did this, He said he was protecting her to everyone, so I can say that he’s crew” Hafu says “I’m at light panel, I remember seeing Poki and Tina there”

“I can confirm this” Poki says “So Toast let’s hear your big brain play. What’s your strat?”

It was silent for a minute, before Toast admits that he doesn’t have one.

“Ok so we can all agree that Toast is the imposter right?” Rae says “Vote him outta here!”

“Yep” Tina agrees hitting that vote on him and many follow suit

“Wait guys! WAIT! I do! I do have a strat” Toast screams out “Uhhh... wires! The wires guys!”

“Lol they’re gunna vote him off” You watch people voting “Rae is probably gunna win this”

“Yea, you’ve done that pay before” Poki laughs

“Don’t worry I’ll skip Toast” Sykkuno says 

“Why would you skip if we’re on 6?” Rae asks “Is Toast your imposter buddy?”

“Wah? I said I was protecting y/n, why would I kill her?” Trying to make his innocence obvious 

“Unless you killed her by accident or Toast did and you’re trying to protect him like the Simp you are!” Rae accuses him

Tina starts to also question Sykkuno “Wait a second, I dont think I’ve seen you do a single task this entire game! You’ve just been following y/n all around! We should vote him off next!”

“Guys, I swear it’s not me, it just doesn’t make sense” You can hear him plead “Oh no guys, how did this get twisted? It’s Rae! But how did it go to thinking Sykkuno as imposter?”

The meeting ends with Toast screaming into the abyss as he is yeeted out with Sykkuno telling him that he voted to skip.

“Ok then chat, looks like the imposters are gunna win, lets talk for a bit” You sigh and start reading the comments “ I know that I didn’t talk much with them, but I’m just awkward in general and I don’t know what to say to them. This is the first time playing with a group like this where i’m supposed to be myself and not a character.”

The words Defeat appeared on screen and there was Hafu and Rae as imposter. “I honestly didn’t think it was Hafu”

“Hafu was that you that killed Leslie in admin? I didn’t think it was “You asked when you returned to the lobby

“NO! I got framed by my own partner” Hafu explains before taking her bathroom break

“How did Rae get that kill cause I was with her?” Poki asks

“I vented from Caf back into admin when lights were off” Rae laughs “and I vented into shields and killed y/n right in front of Sykkuno!”

“Im sorry for not being able to protect you” Sykkuno runs circles around my character “Next round I’ll do better! I promise”

You laugh and start chasing after him in the ship “What if you end up as imposter?”

“Then I’ll have to look away as my imposter buddy kills you” Sykkuno laughs behind his hand and clears his throat “Im joking, Im joking, I promise”

“Wow Sykkuno” You tsk and run over to the opposite side of the room “I don’t know if I want your protection services now”

“Uh” Sykkuno splutters “I’m joking I promise! I won’t kill you as imposter”

“Wait til Corpse hears you simping over someone else” Poki says before starting the game

“Wait Hafu is still in the bathroom!” Rae exclaimed, but it was to late to stop the game from starting, so she’ll have to jump in when she comes back. Though you swear you feel your heart jump out of your chest when the words Imposter read on you screen. The 1st of the night for you and another in a row for Hafu.

“Oh God guys. Hafu is in the bathroom, but she has to carry us” You start to panic “What we do we do!?! Wait is Sykkuno seriously gunna follow us? Should we kill him or would that be to obvious?” You see the chat tell you that it would be to obvious and that it would be better to maybe frame him, but it seems to mean to you “Should we kill someone in front of him? You know to test his loyalty? It’s a terrible idea”

Though before you go on to fake tasks, you see Sykkuno standing on top of Hafu’s body, so you also go ontop of Sykkuno’s and to the outside perspective you are protecting Hafu, but really for you it’s to ensure that your imposter partner is going to be walking around and killing people,once she comes back from the bathroom. It seems that Hafu is back from the bathroom as her yellow character starts making her way away from you both. You and Sykkuno make your way to admin when lights get called and Sykkuno starts to wiggle his body around into a corner. It seems as though he wants you to stack with him in a corner, but before you do you double back when you see a body pass by and kill them, though you start to laugh when you see your character kill Rae, before ‘stumbling’ into Sykkuno’s view in the corner. You both stay there as lights turn back on and go on card swipe. You think about juking Sykkuno, but realize that it’ll look sus on you for ditching him. So you two just walk around ‘completing’ tasks as every once in a while the lights would go off and you two will stack on each other or wait for doors to open which you had been closing alot of them. 

“Honestly guys I’m at a point were I just wanna murder someone in front of him” You start to evil laugh as you both stack in the corner of medbay as lights start turning on when a body got called

“It’s toast, it’s toast, it’s toast” Hafu chants as it was her who reported the body “I saw him kill Poki”

“oh she self reported” you note and click on Toast’s name but not locking in your vote just in case. You also noticed that four people had died “She killed three people!?! Wow she is beast in this game! Holy Shit guys”

“see, from my perspective it’s hafu. I didn’t see the kill, but I did see blood splatter and Hafu immediately reported the body and blamed me, so it has to be Hafu. I’m voting her” Toast explains and votes her

“no no no no no no no. I saw you kill her when lights got fixed.” Hafu describes her side and what she did in that round “ Ok guys I was afk for like the first 20 seconds and I see Sykkuno and y/n there standing on me in caf., and I’m just doing my tasks, which I finished by the way, so I’m just going back and forth going to cams and just walking around to find any dead bodies. So if you saw cams on in the last 30 or so seconds it was me. I’ve also been fixing lights too! Peter and Leslie should be able to vouch for me on that! But on this round of lights I’m making my way to go help fix them when i see blood flicker in my little bubble and as it starts to get bigger I see Toast walking away from it. Its Toast. It is 100% Toast.” She locks her vote on him “Vote him please. If you don’t vote then you’re either imposter or just throwing”

“I don’t know guys” You start and hover your mouse over the green checkmark next to Toast’s name “I’ve been with Sykkuno the entire round and we did guard Hafu’s body. For Hafu to say that she saw Toast kill, but toast didn’t see Hafu kill? It just doesnt make sense so I’m voting Toast” You lock your vote in when Hafu reminds everyone that crew has to vote together since it is on six. Reminding Peter and Leslie that Hafu has been fixing lights got their votes, but Sykkuno was hesitant “You know I can never vote Toast guys, but I have been with y/n this entire time and I know it’s not her. So, I’m sorry Toast but uh” He locks his vote in for either Hafu or Toast? Who knows if he’s simping over Toast hard.

“Sykkuno?” You can hear Toast tremble his voice “Sy-sykkuno? Who did you vote for? Sykkuno!?!?! Do- Don’t tell me...did you really vote me?”

“I uh “ He clears his throat as the votes get out and all of us had voted Toast 

Toast gasps “Sykkuno!?! How could you!?!?!”

“I’m sorry! I just trust y/n!” Sykkuno explains as Toast’s body once again gets yeeted out into space. 

“Wow guys, looks like we’re gunna win our first imposter game!” You wiggle around happily “and we literally did nothing...wait we killed Rae! We got our revenge from the last round mwua hahahahaha”

Sykkuno and I run circles around each other before walking back into medbay. You can see Hafu kind of trailing behind and the doors get locked with us three in it, but Hafu is just standing there. “Chat what is Hafu doing? Why is she just standing there” You can see Sykkuno step on the med scan “Wait she wants ME to kill SYKKUNO! Oh god that is so evil lol but i’m so useless as imposter, so I might as well get in at least 25% of the kills” 

Once Sykkuno steps off you just murder him and you see that you had won.

“I- I can’t believe you just killed me!?! I trusted you y/n” Sykkuno exclaims

“Sykkuno” Rae sighs “she KILLED ME in caf! Why did no one NOT SEE MY CHOPPED BODY IN CAF!”

You just laugh “I’m sorry Sykkuno, but my chat was telling me that Hafu wanted me to kill you”

“Yea, cause I did like all of the kills and sabotages” Hafu recounts who and how she killed 

“Sykkuno, you giant simp. I can’t believe you vote me” Toast tsk’ed 

“I can’t believe y/n was the imposter! and she killed me!” Sykkuno shakes his head “you know what i’m no longer protecting you anymore”

“Wait Sykkuno I’m sorry. Really” You giggle 

“No no no it’s ok, it’s all part of the game” Sykkuno reassure you that he is not actually mad and that he hoped you had fun “But i wont be protecting you from now on, I have scars now”

So, you play a few more games before calling it quits and end your stream. Later on, you find that Sykkuno started following you on Twitter and Instagram, You totally did not stalk both of his pages and you totally don’t think that he’s cute.....

SideNote: You totally murdered someone in front of Sykkuno and he totally didn’t snitch on you. Instead he protected you as you ran around killing more people in front of him and like the giant Simp he is he totally went ‘I neva snitch on you Daddy, I hold a brick for you Daddy’.

[puppy-phum]

get to know me

am going to mix these two different tag games into one post so thank you a lot for tagging me @jazthespazz and @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

it’s somehow funny to do these same games again after a while so let’s see what I come up with:

Part I

name: real name petra but i prefer vish/vishie over here ^^ 

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries ♈

height: 178cm (which am coming more and more proud of while i realize how damn tall every cdrama actor is lol)

time: 10:37pm as am answering this one

birthday: 10th april!

nationality: finnish 

fave bands/groups: ah well this is always a hard question but let’s go with these: BTS, DAY6, OneRepublic, Hurts, Oneus, Hoppipolla, TXT, Red, Mamamoo

fave solo artists: (forgive me if i’ve assumed any of these wrong) Novo Amor, Talos, Crywolf, Liu Yuning, SYML, EDEN, PVRIS, Joker Xue, NF, Halsey, Sleeping At Last, Nuz, HyunA, Sam Smith, Taemin

song stuck in your head: it’s OneRepublic’s Rescue Me bc of the song tag game i did earlier today :’D that one always gets stuck in my head whenever i as much as see the title lol 

last movie you watched: i think it’s The Yin-Yang Master (2021)? I haven’t watched any movies after that bc am so busy with all of my dramas haha

last show you binged: i think binged would be The Journey Across the Night! I watched that as a whole in 4 days

when you created your blog: in 2013 

the last thing you googled: ummm i think it was “what is a ball of wool called” bc of fic purposes haha as a non native speaker i always get a bit lost with words like this 

other blogs: none, i just dump everything here like the idiot i am 

why i chose my url: dates back to my intense summer of binge reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Vishous was my favorite of the brothers haha. i first used this username in some random game on my nintendo ds lol 

how many people are you following: 358 which somehow feels like a lot but also like way too few?? i should probably search for some new blogs with other topics than cql, bts and/or dmbj bc i do love a lot of things at once 

how many followers do you have: over 800 

average hours of sleep: i’d say around 7h

lucky numbers: i remember answering 5 previously? i don’t really have a lucky number but 5 pops into my head

instruments: nope, no. not touching those tyvm. i admire everyone who can play any instrument tho

what i’m currently wearing: black jeans, socks with foxes on them (plus my woolly socks), a gray cardigan (my fave thing ever!) and an orange/brown top

dream job: writer would be ideal but that is very faaaaar into the dream zone 

dream trip: around different parts of asia to taste all the amazing food ;; maybe a road trip of sorts through europe? or inter railing? another trip to london bc i miss that ;; a trip to the very northern part of lapland to see all the auroras etc! i’ve never been that far north :’D 

fave food: if i need to quickly name something then sushi. otherwise am pretty fine with anything spicy 

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i remember thinking about this a lot the last time i answered this but hmm. currently i’d say dmbj still bc that world is fascinating AND i would love to talk to the characters. mass effect would be the second one currently bc i miss those games and the space stuff is super cool! and the third one would be assassin’s creed rogue bc that is my fave ac game and i like the northern sea and the places in it AND i could probably be one of abstergo’s employees instead and just test/play those simulation games haha 

Part II

Last Song: am currently listening to my playlist with just everything so i have Andrew Belle’s The Enemy playing right now (also I only just now realized that Andrew Belle also sings Pieces which is one of my fave songs? my bff linked that to me after it played in some tv series she was watching)

Last Movie Last Stream: i didn’t want to mention the same movie again or skip this question and i’ve wanted to talk about this anyway so! i watched Liu Chang’s bday live last night :’D it was so much fun even if i couldn’t understand anything. it was just nice to watch him being himself and have fun and chill with his fans. also the songs were amazing ;; i cried with Liu Sang’s character song as well as the ending. and all the while i couldn’t turn my gaze away from his eyes! he has such pretty eyes and they were absolutely Sparkling throughout the whole stream, it was so nice :’)

Currently Reading: Devotions by Mary Oliver (i adore her poems! they’re a very nice change after Siken haha) and then some uni stuff for a course about culture and mental health plus my thesis

Currently Watching: Douluo Continent, Word of Honor, The Long Ballad 

all of these are amazing and make me feel different things! i started Douluo Continent just a while ago and am now on ep 16 i think? it’s been very pretty and very chill and i watch it during the weekend while i wait for new episodes to the other two :’D it’s nice to see Xiao Zhan again and i’ve enjoyed the rpg game type of feeling in it? the group of seven is doing amazing and it’s interesting to watch them craft their team work! Word of Honor again has reached the ending and i just hold my breath with it. am not too far gone with it so i am not getting as heavy feelings about it as i probably could but i enjoy it  alot still and i do cry at times ^^ and then The Long Ballad has just blown me away! i didn’t expect to love it this much and be this invested in it but everything about it has been such a positive surprise and it keeps making me super emotional! i love the characters and the story and the romances even! it’s a great accomplishment for me. also yes i cry on the daily bc of hao du and bc of ashile sun’s hair haha

(i am also rewatching Ultimate Note kind of and been thinking about getting into rewatching Reboot bc it has been on my list ever since i finished it)

What is antipoetry to you: okay hmm i had to google this too and have to agree with Kiddo here. i don’t have strong feelings about poetry tbh, i wasn’t into poetry that much before maybe a bit over year ago? Siken has really blown me away haha. but i have always loved song lyrics which i never thought as poetry but then Kiddo said to me that they consider them poetry and yeah ok. i agree? so idk poetry can be whatever i suppose. i’ve never seen any rules in it anyway. i know there are many rules for different types of poetry but then again. i feel like poetry has always been just words put together to feel things and i guess that is the core purpose of every written type of art in the end right? 

Currently craving: a drama as good and as personal as The Journey Across the Night. that show really just stole my heart and i want that feeling back. i think about that show every day. i miss Li Jia and his two partners. i miss the vibes. i miss sitting on my floor watching it and just sobbing my heart out haha. also! craving a properly subbed, whole version of Anti-Fraud League. only the first 12 eps are badly subbed out there. wetv has... blocked? deleted? the whole show??? i need it to my life, i wanna see Xiao Yuliang being cute as Mi Ruo and i wanna know where the story goes smh 

thank you so much for these both! i had fun ^^ also am sorry this is so long but haha if you’re asking me to talk about myself and my interests then this is what you get :) 

tagging (to do which ever part you want or both!): @cross-d-a @jockvillagersonly @humanlighthouse @kholran @xcziel @minmoyu and @leonzhng ♥

[kimberly-spirits13]

Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 6

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.

Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol

Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.

Warnings: trauma induced habits (it’s really not anything serious), unhealthy sleep habits but I'm pretty sure everyone here has those

Word Count: 1897

Masterlist for Series

It was three days later since you had mistakenly slammed Dick into the mats. You and Damian hadn’t talked about it at all seeing as you were trying to avoid the topic like the plague. Darkness had settled over the manor. Bruce and the rest were just back from their patrols and you were just getting ready for yours. It was unofficial at least. Today would have been your turn for the 2:30 am shift of patrol at the league. You couldn’t sleep at all with the thought of your responsibilities running through your mind. 20 minutes had passed of you battling yourself on the aspect of going out. It would be unnecessary, Mr. Wayne has the best security money could buy or make. You thought it through over and over again. What if an alarm didn’t trip off when an intruder came in? What if the manor was attacked and nothing happened to prevent it. With these thoughts overpowering the logic you tried to introduce, you got up and changed into your suit.

        Exiting from your window, you went on top of the manor. The roof was pretty massive seeing as this was a mansion. You looked up seeing the stars and thinking back to what it looked like at the compound. The biggest difference here was seeing the lights from the city in the distance and pine trees instead of endless mountains. You jumped from different points, quietly landing on others. As you did this, you scanned the area and moved on if you didn’t see anything strange.

In the Manor:

        “It looks like she’s patrolling the area.” Bruce said sitting back in his chair in front of the computers that were installed in the cave, “I don’t like it.”

        “Master Bruce, Miss. Y/N is merely practicing habit. Leave the child be.” Alfred said as he cleaned up his first aid tools from tonight’s patrol.

        “She could be plotting something. Getting intel, either way, she’s triggering my alarms.” Bruce responded.

        “Master Bruce! Enough of that.” Alfred raised his voice in disapproval, “This isn’t a normal household as you might have gathered. Everyone here deals with trauma differently. As a child when you picked up strange habits after ... your own set of traumas, I did nothing to stop you of such actions. I knew you’d grow out of it.”

        “I guess you’re right.” Bruce muttered.

        “Nothing new Master Bruce.” Alfred remarked walking into the other part of the cave.

        Bruce eventually left, turning the system off. He knew Alfred was right and even though he wanted to, he knew that there was no ill intent in your actions.

_______________________________________________________________________

        Back outside, you were still well underway in your patrol. You had only thirty minutes left and then you would be able to return to your bedroom. Everything was silent but for the crickets and occasional fire fly here and there. You marveled at their beauty once you figured out what they were. That was strange to see for the first time. Other than that, the only other sound was a new pair of footsteps coming from behind. You knew who it was without turning around.      

        “I thought I would find you here.” Damian said.

        “Well, I guess you thought right then Damian.” You replied perched on the side of the manor.

        “I assume this patrol is stemming from previous habits of yours?”

        “One might say that.” You gave him a side glance seeing that he was coming to sit by you, “Old habit.”

        “Closer to, a sign that you really aren’t taking this move well and are actually covering it up for the sake of reputation and your own personal expectations you have set for yourself.” Damian commented making you roll your eyes some.

        “Wow, caught red handed.” “In all actuality, you’re correct on many levels.” “I just needed something ... normal for a change.”

        “I understand.” He said shortly, “I heard father talking about a gala. Something to parade us around to the rich snobs and media as an introduction. I do not look forward to it.”

        “That sounds like one of the worst ideas I have heard in quite a long time.” You huffed, “And that’s saying quite a lot.”

        He chuckled but after that, everything fell back into silence. You carefully looked out over the grounds before being startled by the vibration and alarm of your phone.

        “Looks like my patrol has ended.” You said turning off the alarm, “I shall return inside. Care to join me?”

        “I will.”

_______________________________________________________________________

        From there, sleep was impossible to come by. You were plagued by nightmares which you never had before. It was probably since you weren’t constantly focusing on training or a mission you had convinced yourself. What you needed was something to focus on and that was what you got. You didn’t rely on coffee like Drake since you never had it to begin with at the league. For the first few days, no one noticed anything. That was what you had planned, however it was of course Damian who raised the first alarm. You were in the library catching up on some studies for ancient history and astronomy. The sunlight was streaming in golden beams through the windows and you were sitting at one of the tables wrapped up in one of the long jackets that you had gotten. Damian walked in to see you hunched over one of the books with your hair in a messy bun.

        “Y/N?” He asked quietly as to not scare you.

        “Mhmm?” You hummed in response giving him a quick glance of acknowledgement, flipping the page to a star map.

        “With all due respect, you seem tired as of late. When was the last time you slept?” He questioned sitting next to you examining the pile of books you had pulled.

        “Last night?”

        “But did you actually sleep an entire night last night? That is the real question.”

        “Why are you concerned on the hours of sleep I got Wayne?” You asked in return.

        He didn’t answer. The truth was that he was worried more than he’d care to admit. He knew that you had terrible dreams like he did, neither of you cared to talk about them at all. The memories of mornings where you’d come for training with dark circles and eyes flooded his conscious. Those days you were scarier and had less patience, though he’d never blame you for it since he understood the feeling for some part.

        “You never answered my question.” You said pulling him from his thoughts.

        “I-I... no reason, I was just making sure my right hand was in stable mind.”

        “Well, I am fine.” You glared at him for the comment, “I’m perfectly stable demon.”

_______________________________________________________________________

        That was a few days ago. You kept the exhaustion hidden well, especially considering you were in a house full of detectives. That didn’t mean you didn’t feel it though. You were bone tired and almost lagged along. Focus became harder to maintain and you felt yourself drifting on and off into sleep. Now you were in the training room running a simulation. It was an easier one you had to admit, but nothing enough to give anything away. Your moves weren’t sloppy, just not as pristine as typical. You also didn’t notice Damian walk inside of the cave to watch you. Rubbing your temple as you finished, you grabbed your water bottle and splashed some of the cold liquid on your face to wake you up. You turned around and were startled by Damian.

        “My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He said reaching to grab your arms to keep you from hitting him from habit.

        “It’s fine.” You replied, “I just didn’t realize you were there.”

        “You never drop your guard like that. I think it’s time for you to sleep L/N.” He said, “I know you haven’t been getting any.”

        “I insist that I am fine.” You went to grab your duffle bag off of the floor with the intention of showering in the cave showers near the back. Standing up was the issue. With the worst light headed feeling you’d had in years you fell back down.

        “Y/N!” Damian grabbed you before you had totally hit the floor, “That makes it final, I’m making you sleep.”

        You mumbled an argument before totally passing out. There was no way of avoiding the obvious of you being passed out as he took you to your room.

        “Damian, what happened to Y/N?” Bruce asked alarmed standing up to see you completely out. Bruce wasn’t fazed by much, however, he wasn’t ready for that at all.

        “Lack of sleep.” Damian said shortly, “I think I know why.”

        Alfred followed him up the stairs explaining that he’d need to make sure you were okay other than not sleeping. He was sure that after a good night’s rest or so, you’d be fine. Damian knew though, that that was asking a lot from you no matter how simple it might be.

_______________________________________________________________________

        You awoke suddenly in your bedroom only to be surrounded by darkness and the light, delicate streams of moonlight shining dimly across the objects inside. You felt someone taking hold of your hand and immediately looked to see that it was Damian. Next to you, he was sitting in a chair with his head resting on the side of the bed and his hand around yours. With the shift in motion that you had caused, Damian awoke.

        “What are you doing?” You asked, a blush creeping across your face.

        “Oh- I,” He let go of your hand and rubbed the back of his neck, “I knew you needed to sleep and I also knew that you wouldn’t unless there was someone with you.” “I just didn’t think you’d want me to be in the be-“

        “I-I understand.” You replied, “Thank you.”

        “I will leave now.” He got up.

        “Damian I ... you were right about the sleeping bit. I actually wouldn’t mind if you stayed.”

        “I see.” He sat back down in the chair.

        “Damian, I’ve known you since we were three, you can sleep in the bed.” “If you’d prefer, there’s an extra quilt you could use in the closet.”

        “Are you sure?” He asked standing back up.

        “Positive.”

        Damian retrieved the quilt from your closet and returned quietly, getting on the bed. You stayed under the original bedding and he slept on top of it. There was a distance that was kept between you two since it would be strange for you to be any closer. You were just close friends and nothing more. Although, that thought made you a bit upset. When you did finally awaken however, you were startled to see that you were tangled in the covers laying as close as possible to him. Damian’s arms were draped over you holding you tightly and neither of you cared to talk about it.

        That did however start a routine of going into each other’s rooms for sleeping. You didn’t classify it as a romantic or intimate thing. It was saved for whenever either of you had dreams terrible enough that you didn’t want to be alone anymore. At night, you might have been awakened by Damian coming into your room and getting into the bed only for you to keep close to him or it would be the other way around.

Tags-

@idkmanicantenglish​ @queengeorgiaaa​ @lucy-roo​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @random-fandom-girl-24​

[ff15trashgoldenslumbers]

Shy somewhat quiet S.O gets roped into playing a fighting game with the bros. But what the bros don't know is she's a famous live streamer of the game who has never shown her face on camera. She talks on her streams but that's it. During the streams she is crazy good to the point of people saying if she went to competitions she'd sweep it no trouble but she doesn't want people hounding her for it. She completely DESTROYS the four in the game. Reactions?

Lol, I kill at Super Smash Brothers, nothing like in a gaming league, but I often pick the character by how pretty they are, and just wreck my friends. So this is fun. Also kinda OT4 plus one this, cause it seemed cuter that way.

~~~~~~

“I’m fine.” 

The same reply every time the game station was brought out and your sweethearts got into a little tournament. No matter how much Noctis nor Prompto tried to assure you they’d take it easy on you, you would politely decline. Even when Ignis went to prepare food, the controller was left empty.

“Come on, Babe you must be getting bored sitting there every time,” Gladiolus stated, only to hiss as Prompto got the Smash Ball.

“I like watching you all play.” You giggled, as Noctis let out a curse at being hit by the smash. “Most of the day when you guys are at work, all I do is let’s plays.”

“Well…” Noctis huffed as the screen showed Ignis character as the winner. “You can’t say no tonight. I bought you, your own controller.” 

You looked down to the sleek black controller slightly smaller than an average to fit your hands. It was absolutely stunning and was the latest, hottest game controller on the market right now. Of course, Noctis could afford it.

“I don’t want to get chip dust all over it.” You replied, motioning towards the chips you had been snacking on.

“I don’t believe that will be a problem, Love.” Ignis replied, motioning toward Noctis and Prompto, “If I didn’t disinfect their controllers, a new civilization would be growing on them.”

You giggled softly, before sighing softly, “All right, one round.” 

“Score!” Prompto cheered, leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek. He was so affectionate. “You can pick the stage too.”

You took the controller from Noctis, it was so much lighter, and you hadn’t even noticed that a little heart in gold was on it. Noctis had specialized everyone’s controller, each were black, but Prompto’s had a gold Chocobo, Ignis has cute little glasses, Gladiolus’s had a shield, and his own had a cute little crown. You kind of felt guilty that he had to go this far to get you to play.

It was a standard stock match, everyone got three lives, and everyone seemed to stick to their favorite characters. You slowly got used to the feel of your new controller after losing one life to Noctis, after all, he was the reigning champion of the house.

“Come on Y/N, do better.” Noctis playfully called.

“You’re going to trash talk me? After all, I’ve done for you?” You giggled, “Guess someone else will be picking up releases.”

Noctis chuckled, as he tossed Prompto off the stage, leaving only you and the Prince on screen and Noctis still had all his stocks left.

“So when I win, what do I get?” Noctis inquired.

“When you win, Noct, hasn’t Gladdy always told you to make sure your enemies down for good before boosting?” You smirked.

“You got one life left. Pretty sure this is in the bag.” He replied, as his character grabbed your own, and tossed you off the stage, ending the match. “Cake baby.”

You really loved your sweet Prince but sometimes he needed to be humbled, “Noctis, let’s play again. I feel I took it too easy on you.”

“Too easy.” Prompto squawked. “You sure about that?”

“If you want to play again, all you have to do is ask,” Noctis replied, setting up a new match.

“No, no between you and me. You put a lot of hours in this game and I wasn’t playing fair.” You stated.

“You sure you’re not getting in over your head?” Gladiolus chuckled playfully.

“It’s fine.”  You replied as Noctis picked the stage. “Ready whenever you are Sweetie.”

If you blinked you would have missed it, one moment the game was declaring start and the next GAME OVER! with you as the victor, and a room staring in confusion.

“Y/N, love how did you accomplish that?” Ignis inquired as you leaned over pressing a kiss to Noctis’s cheek. 

“I’ve played this game quite a bit. I think I logged 300 personally and I think about 100 streamwise.” You replied. “Everyone asks me to constantly go to tournaments but…” You shrugged leaving the sentence unfinished. “You want a rematch?”

“Wait, you stream?” Prompto asked as you nodded. “When?”

“Mostly when you boys have to stay at the Citadel, it gets kinda lonely, and I have access to all the latest games.” You replied.

“Show me!” Noctis barked.

You couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter as you changed the tv to bring up a web browser, typing in StarryFantasy as your username before pulling up a video.

“I did this one last week when you all were stuck at the Citadel.”

“Y/N you have over 1 million subscribers?”

“Yeah, I hit 1 about a month ago we’re getting super close to 15.” You replied, over you in game voice of where you were taking online matches against fans.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ignis inquired, watching how your skills were actually extremely dominating. 

You shrugged, “Figured it wasn’t a big deal.” You let out a squeal as you felt Noctis take both your cheeks in his hands turning you toward him. “Mock?”

Noctis stared deep in your eyes, “This is the hottest thing I have ever seen!”

You rolled your eyes playfully, “Guess I don’t need to buy any more lingerie if that’s the case.”

“Hey, we didn’t all agree on that,” Gladiolus called, as Noctis pulled you forward pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Do you ever do video streams or a face reveal?” Prompto inquired.

You finally managed to pull away from Noctis with a soft pant, “No, figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to have the Prince’s girlfriend going viral that way.”

“Let’s pray none of us go viral for any reason,” Ignis replied.

You shook your head before looking to your control on the coffee table next to your boyfriends,

”So anyone up for a rematch?”

[femaleidols]

Hello. I don't if it has been asked before. If it has, I'm sorry for bothering you. Here are my questions: how did each member of femaleidols discover kpop? Who was the first female group/artist they listened to? Who was their first female bias group/artist? I'm sorry for my bad English. I hope you have an amazing day.

see our replies below! 🎁

yehshuhua: My best friend introduced me to K-Pop in 2010. The first girl group I listened to was either 2NE1 or f(x) while f(x) was the first girl group I actually followed. Dara and Victoria were my first biases. 😢

heonies: An old friend sent me a link to shinee’s lucifer in late 2010 and it all started from there. The first gg I listened to was Girl’s Day in early 2011, and I’ve followed them ever since. Also, Yura was my first bias, and still is 💖

katypery: i discovered kpop back in 2010 when a friend of mine introduced me to snsd's genie. snsd was the first ever kpop group i followed and i've been a sone for a long time! my first bias was jessica and she never lost her place in my heart.

sunjis: i discovered kpop through my friend who used to sing bits of diva by after school and lollipop by 2ne1 & bigbang near me, once she showed me a video with 'diva' playing on the background. i got interested and asked the name of the singer, she told me and i googled it! so the first female group i listened to was after school. my first female bias group was 2ne1, my favs were minzy and cl at the time!

sooyulti: i was watching videos related to gangnam style back in 2012 and somehow i ended up watching f(x)’s electric shock mv but only in 2013 when they had their comeback with rum pum pum pum that i started to follow them. luna was my first bias 🥰

wonhosoks: I dont remember how i discovered kpop but i know the first group i listened to was 2ne1 !!! then i got into bg first ~mblaq~ 😭 then got into gg and my first fave gg is probably secret and bias was hyosung 😭

loveinstereo: i discovered kpop through a friend! the first female artists i listened to were f(x), orange caramel, and 2ne1 and my first female bias was f(x)'s krystal :-)

seuhgi: so back in 2009/10 i was part of a forum about anime and jmusic and once, they gave a download link to a file full of several translated jpop/jrock mvs. i downloaded it out of curiosity and turned out there was shinee's ring ding dong in it HAHA and that's how i discovered kpop after this i wanted to know more about kpop because i kept listening to ring ding dong and i found out about t-ara! and i literally fell in love with all their songs. so my first ever girlgroup bias was soyeon from t-ara. and then boom i discovered everything about kpop :)

prkchaeyoung: i discovered kpop back in 2011 through tvxq so they were my first kpop group! i was a casual fan of t-ara, f(x) and 9muses back in those days but i didn’t stan any ggs until rv debuted in 2014 :)

monoka: The first group i listened to is snsd but i don't exactly remember how i got into kpop anymore.

helbi: 

yongs: i discovered kpop back in 2014 because of super junior and 2ne1 was the first female group i listened to but apink were my bias group :^)!

loonarium: a friend of mine showed me a super junior mv, it was mr. simple lmao!! that was in 2012 and it started there, yesung was my favorite but i guess my first bias really was hyuna cuz i had yesung and sooyoung as faves but i used to look for hyuna pictures and info and etc all day and your english is fine, shh!!

kimlip: i discovered kpop through a family friend! she showed me wedding dress by taeyang lol and the first girl group i listened to was snsd but my first bias group was f(x). they’re still my favourite group

boratanical: i knew of it way back in 2008/2009 through my cousin when ukiss, super junior, and 2pm were very popular but i didnt really get into it until maybe 2015 when i saw exo's overdose and 9muses' doll! i think i didnt get really into ggs until 2016 and rv was my first bias group!

dazzlingkai: I was looking up an OST from a drama I was watching at the time. The artist of that OST was an idol, so I kept getting recommendations of that person and other kpop groups. That’s how I discovered kpop. My first female bias is Hyuna, and she’s still my ultimate female bias till this day💖

powerfulhoshi: The very first time I heard about kpop was around 2012, a at-the-time mcfly fanfic writer mention SuJu on a blog post/video, I think, and for a long time I still remembered the mention to "kpop bias". The last I heard she worked with something kpop related as well as published books now. The first female idol I listened to was either Mamamoo, my best friend is/was really into them when she got me into kpop or something else... I'm not sure how the timeline panned out, but I do know the first girl group I recalled searching on youtube on my own free will was Twice's TT, I first saw the video on a league of legends korean pro twitch stream and a few days later I was hooked, but I have no idea when that happened and what other song I should be able to recognize from his streams. Thanks for the question :D

yujin: i first discovered kpop through tvxq's japan promotions because they did the opening to an anime i used to watch when i was like 10 lmao. my first female group was clc's debut though!!

[vacationcalendar]

8/13/21

Today’s creative project, an private letter (it could have been an open letter, but who the hell is reading this besides myself and maybe the person receiving it) to Voyboy. He’s been in a rough place mentally/emotionally. He’s had some deaths in his family which is never easy, and his attempt to de-platform a twitch streamer with a known history of sexual abuse has earned him undue (and as is sadly routine, SEVERE) ire from fans of said streamer. 

It’s so weird, there’s obviously people who are like, “I’m not getting involved. I don’t care enough to inform myself well enough to have an opinion.” And those people are also split into camps that either approve or disapprove of “rocking the boat” as it were. Some people think this level of calling-out is too incendiary for the offense. Some people find the subject uncomfortable and wish it would go away, with the unfortunate default to that view being an acquiescence of justice for the accused.

And some people are also hung up on the justice part in particular. This entire affair is being conducted in the infamous “Court of Public Opinion.” A forum that has been dragged out MUCH more frequently in this modern age than in history. That fact alone upsets people. Hell, it’s bothered me in the past. I see the Court of Public Opinion make a ruling, and I think, “I didn’t elect this Judge, I did not approve this jury, there is no precedent here!”

It does feel like things are moving fast. They are. Dan Harmon said in an interview earlier this month, “Progress isn’t a scalpel, it’s an avalanche.” And he welcomed it. We should be welcoming progress. Even if it’s messy. Some might say “especially if it’s messy!” I don’t know who is saying that, but I feel in my gut someone on twitter would say that and get 80.3k likes. I know my Twitter.

I digress. Some people are of the view that they can’t be the judge. Leave it up to the real judges and let me just do whatever it was that I was going to do, please. So when Voyboy does all this work to put a spotlight on this problem, people see him handing them a pitchfork and come help him kill The Beast. And some people balk at that. Some people shy away, and just stay inside (this is mostly me, I’ll admit. The inside people go, “I didn’t watch that guy anyway, this is all fine with me! Now please leave me alone”). And some say, “Hey man, I’m opposed to violence, and by the way, the Beast is a really chill guy if you ever got to know him. In fact, people like you who are so quick to hand out pitchforks to make yourself look like some noble saint are actually pieces of shit!” And then a bunch of that guy’s friend go “Yeah, he is a piece of shit!” because that’s how bullying works. And then the bullies spend all day trapped in their miserable bodies, stuck in their miserable lives. And they go on Twitch and watch their friend stream to them, and their friend makes them feel wanted for once in their shit existence. And then later they’re on twitter and see Voyboy say something about how your friend’s an abusive monster and needs to see justice, and you KNOW that it’s all bullshit, and Voyboy just trying to get points with his girlfriend or something, he doesn’t care at all. What an asshole. Fuck him. Fuck this loser. I should reply to him, since it’s the easiest thing in the world for anyone to do. And generally people don’t follow people they hate like this, so that would limit this extremely toxic interaction, but Voyboy is followed by all the LoL streamers, so people that follow league generally hear from all the content creator’s in the community. And maybe they’re streamer friend mentioned that Voyboy was a fake ass cuck or whatever on stream and told his followers to go check out the shit he was spewing. 

So Voyboy says grooming is unacceptable and disgusting, sexting teens is deplorable. And we as a modern community don’t need to hear him beat a rap sheet like that in court to act, because we as a community have the power to shape it how we see fit. And under that tweet is 100 replies saying that he’s a piece of shit and should die.

And then the uninformed masses see that and go, “why is Voyboy a piece of shit?? What am I missing?” And then they see Voyboy tweet something like “this is really hard, these guys are out to get me but I won’t back down.” And if you’re like me you think, “Oh I’ve never supported this kind of drama in my life. This is boring at best and uncomfortable at worst. Let’s all stop (aka bail)!” And then Voyboy goes “I won’t!” And then everyone level-headed and sane goes “boo, I’m bored, knock this off!” And everyone that is now LIVING for this bullying. I mean, what a payout. You bully this dude every day and he feeds you attention every time? This rules! So the detractors get WORSE and the supporters settle down. And Voyboy has now learned the harsh truth of social justice. It just beats you down. Everyone’s in this game for themselves; the moment you set aside your own interest to help someone else out, you are instantly and forever outnumbered. And the whole time you’re just like, “what the fuck is so hard about this? I am proposing an objectively good idea that would make everyone happier! I only even started trying to say something because I knew I was right! This is like getting fired for hitting a home run!”

I’m learning, and I should say digesting maybe, more about power this year than I have in a long time. It’s the answer to a lot of equations that don’t add up under my current philosophies. Like if everything I think is true, then was does X Y and Z still happen? Why do I feel like ____? The answer is something to do with power. And I’m starting to figure out what that is. Ha, I think part of me is a little ashamed it’s taking this long, I guess. Like, I’M learning it, but it’s been learnt. I’m catching up. But that’s ok. That’s literally all I’m doing. Catching up. Keeping up. I’m not even trying to do something once I’m caught up. I just don’t think there’s any other place to be. Well, I mean, I would truly hate to write something that got read that was just plain not-caught-up. Something that would make a reader go, “hey, doesn’t he know better?” I SHOULD. That’s literally the goal.

Anyways, I’ve lost my train of thought, and need a bathroom break. Here’s the letter I sent to Voyboy, to try and help him through all this. Talk to you tomorrow love ;) : Hey Voy I hope you are doing better, and I hope you get a chance to read this. I started League of Legends back in Season 1 when I was in college. I remember the first time I heard of you, you were one the few people ahead of HotshotGG in the rankings, and I remember thinking, "what the hell, how did this kid get so lucky?!" lol. Then I got to see you play with RS, and mostly thought you were lucky again to be getting carried by Scarra 🤣 I'm sorry! By the time you joined CLG I finally caught wise. You became one of my all-time favorite players on the scene. Your Olaf looked like a cheat code, I swear to god. I love League of Legends so much, and back in college I spent almost every waking minute thinking about it. It was one of my great passions. And at that time I was struggling to find anything else I was truly passionate about. I got depressed in college, and by that point I had realized my goal of being an engineer wasn't something I actually cared about. So I dropped out. I was in a truly dark place. I felt like life had left me behind and that I was worthless. I still had League, but League couldn't give me what I needed. I have this distinct memory from one of my last games in Season 4 where some Ranked Soloqueue bs was making my blood boil out of my body. I literally had to stand up and walk around outside after the game. I was pissed, but I knew the real reason was because I just wasn't good enough. That was the moment I realized I was never going to get to walk the path of Voyboy or Doublelift, I was not going to be one of the great ones that League would pick up and give them an opportunity to do something great. I would need to find something of my own.

After that League stopped being as fun for me. I knew I had to do something else with my life and League was only holding me back. All my friends I knew through League started to feel less like my friends. So I quit. After almost 4 years nonstop. And the years after that only looked worse. I was still depressed, still struggling desperately to find my way, and now the thing that brought me the most joy in the world was long gone from my life.

Five years went by and over that time I moved, got a real job, and somehow became a real adult. Life was still hard work, but I was now ready for it. I bought myself a real gaming computer after using crummy laptops my entire life. And once I realized I could finally see LoL at something other than the lowest graphics setting, I decided to download it again. I don't need to tell you that coming back 5 years away made League feel like a completely new game. I might as well have been playing Dota for all I knew. And I felt terrible. I felt like the person that used to play this game was dead; I had no memory left in my fingers. "Well, it was worth a shot," I said.

And then I found your videos on youtube. "Hey I know him!" After just two games, it all came rushing back to me. Your games, your stream reignited my love for League of Legends. And now I'm healthier. Now I can play for a bit and return to a life I that I care equally about. I learned how to love League AND love myself; and the entire time, you were there. The Kid, with his million-watt smile, raising the bar.

I can't say I see the exact same circumstances with what you've been going through lately. I just know what that cloud can feel like. And maybe it's similar, feeling like League and the other parts of your life are at odds with each other right now. And the further away the game gets, the more you see the cracks appear. Hateful kids and useless trolls come to this game not for the experience, but to talk crap and feed their ego. It's so sad that our society still needs to work so hard to treat sexual abuse with the weight that it deserves. But I think because of that, it only highlights that you're doing work that's worth doing.

I don't know what you're planning on doing next, but no matter what it is, I'll support you. I don't know what it's worth, but you're genuinely one of my favorite people. You're worthy of love, you're worthy of happiness. You've worked hard, you've put your heart into making League of Legends a community something to be proud of. I've seen it time and time again. And it won't be for nothing, I swear.

Cya nerd, be well. Thanks

[avengerdragoness]

Trauma and Healing: The End [Alternate Ending] [Jason Todd x Reader]

A/n: Here’s is the alternate ending to Trauma and Healing that I wrote so you guys all wouldn’t hate me lol. Hope you enjoy!

Warning: Multi-Personality Disorder, Talk of Suicide

Tagging: @cherryignacio​ @queen-of-all-the-fandoms​ @crazy-fan-girl-with-many-fandoms @aworldwideapart @just-a-girl-maybe @original-colormemeow @sad-horchata @miraisnotavailable @comicbookworm @kazuha159 @ahungrygirl @memento-scribet

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 [Other Ending]

________

The first thing Jason felt was his head pounding. It felt like his skull would crack open at any second due to the immense pressure within it. Cracking open his eyes he squinted in the dim room. A single spot light hung above him, it being the only illumination of the room. For a moment, he thought he was in one of his nightmares. That the Joker would show up in front of him, dragging a crowbar along the concrete floor.

But no, he was very awake. Not hearing the sound of metal scraping against concrete, just the sound of breathing. Looking next to him, Roy and Kori were tied up beside him on opposite sides of the pillar. “Roy! Kori!” Saying in a harsh whisper, trying to bring consciousness to his friends. He heard Roy groan, shifting his body Jason brought his leg back to nudge him. Roy opened his eyes and looked around. “Where are we?”

“I don’t know, Kori’s still out.” Jason answered. “Do you remember anything?” Looking over at his friend. Roy thought for a moment, “They came up behind me, whoever it was. You?” Jason shook his head, “Only they wore an all black suit except the eyes” remembering the white lenses of the suit. Roy groaned and leaned against the pillar. Jason looked around the room while trying to get Kori to wake up. After a few minutes her eyes fluttered open. She tried melting through her restraints but had no luck.

“It’s cute you thought that would work.” Seven spoke from within the shadows of the ceiling. She’d been there the entire time. “I mean, I did capture you. You think I wouldn’t have the correct restraints?”

Jason and the others looked for the owner of the voice. God, he wishes he had his helmet. Night vision would be great. “Who are you?” Roy called and the sound of her climbing down and her feet hitting the floor could be heard. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She said before a laugh.

“Come into the light you coward!” Kori challenged as they followed the sound of footsteps. The footsteps stopped before Seven stepped into the light. They all stared at the white lenses that covered her eyes. Jason narrowed his eyes at her, “Who are you?” Seven laughed, “‘What am I?’ would be a better question.”

Seven grinned under her mask. “Me, well I go by Seven. And well, I’m the person you love Jason.” Jason stared at the masked person in front of him. Trying to decipher who they were. “No guesses? Well, you three aren’t much fun.”

They watched as she reached up to the top of her mask. Pulling it off as [h/c] hair framed a familiar face.

“[F/n]?”

Seven laughed, “In a way. You see, I’ve been inside [F/n] since the particle accelerator exploded. Since the night that wave of dark matter hit her. You see, I came from a very dark place inside [F/n]. That night, she was planning on killing herself. The mix of drugs and darkness seemed to fuse with the dark matter. Creating her powers which are connected to her emotions, along with me. I’m the embodiment of that darkness. I’m here to protect her from other dark things, from things that might hurt her. So I’ve taken the forefront, and she’s never coming back. I have to do this to protect her from those things. To protect me.” She kneeled in front of Jason, taking his chin between her fingers. “Things, like you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d never hurt her.” Growling back at her, not breaking eye contact. Seven chuckled, “It’s a shame really, she actually loved you.” Jason’s eyes widened when she said that, ‘she loves me’ thinking to himself. “[F/n], please I know you’re in there. I need you to fight.” He begged trying to get through to her.

[F/n] was witnessing this entire thing, trapped in her own mind. ‘Please don’t do this’ She begged Seven, who didn’t pay her any mind. “[F/n], she is weak.” She let go of Jason’s chin, standing and turning around. ‘I am not weak! I can take care of myself, LET ME OUT!’ Her voice rang in her skull, Seven stopped walking. Holding her temple.

“[F/n] come on you’re stronger than her!” Roy yelled next, pulling at his restraints. “You’ve proven how strong you are, fight her!” Kori was next. Jason stared at Seven as she held her head. “[F/n] please, I need you. I… I love you!”

Seven spun around that instant, though it wasn’t Seven who faced them. Those words seemed to trigger something, a warmth inside your soul that was just enough to bring you back. Collapsing ok the floor you looked up at Jason. “You love me?” whispering. “[F/n]” Jason smiled, sighing in relief. “God yes. I love you more than anything. I love you more than life itself.” You felt tears prick your eyes as you rushed over, pulling a knife from your belt and cutting Jason & Roy’s restraints and unlocking the special cuffs used for Kori. Immediately Jason stood and wrapped his arms around you. “I was so worried about you. Thank god you're alright.”

You cried into his soldier, “I did so many awful things, I’m so sorry Jason. I’m so sorry.” He rubbed your back trying to help you calm down. “It’s not your fault, it was Seven. It’s going to be okay.” He began to lead you out of the room, Roy and Kori in front of you both. Kori was checking for anyone in the corridors. While Roy sent out a distress beacon.

As he helped you, thoughts ran through your head. What if you couldn’t control this? What if she comes back? She tries to hurt Roy again? Kori again? Jason again? What if you’re really not strong enough for this? You couldn’t live with yourself if something happened to them.

Looking up at Jason, his eyes were glued on your exit. You took in his features; his blue eyes, the sharpness of his jaw, the white streak decorating the front of his raven black hair. Remembering how it felt to sleep in his arms and how he protected you every second of your life since you met him. How could you put him in this danger? It’s time you protected him.

In a split second you grabbed one of the guns from it’s holster on his thigh. Pushing away from him and pressing the barrel to your temple as your finger rested on the trigger.

“[F/n]! What are you doing?!” He yelled, seeing the tears stream from your eyes. Roy and Kori came running over, “[F/n] put the gun down!” Roy yelled.

“I can’t.” You shook your head. “I can’t put you all in that danger. With Seven, I can’t control her. She’s evil and murderous. I can’t do it, I’m not strong enough.” Sobs broke up your words. Jason shook his head, “No, you can do it. I know you can. [F/n] please put the gun down, I love you. Please, I’m begging you.” His voice trembled, in fear of the finger resting on the trigger. He took a few steps closer to you.

You didn’t move, god you wanted to step back, to keep your distance from him. But, you couldn’t. You stared into his eyes as he came closer to you. “Jason I can’t do it.” Shaking your head at him, voice barely above a whisper. “You can do it [F/n], give me the gun.” He held his hand out. More tears streamed down your cheeks, staring at the man you love.

Thinking about all the things you wanted to do with him. Still had to do with him. You wanted to go on vacation together, move out on your own, snuggle together on the couch, have him steal kisses whenever he wanted. You still hadn’t been intimate with him, had him make love to you. You wanted so much to be with him. To love him. “But what if she comes back?”

“We’ll help you, there are people in the league who can help [F/n]. Do you trust me?”

Staring into his eyes, your arm seemed to become weak as a sob escaped your throat and arm falling to your side. Knees buckling under you. He rushed forward and caught you, taking the gun from you and tossing it aside as you sobbed into his chest. Tears of relief and joy escaped his eyes. “Don’t ever talk like that, or do that again. I can’t take it.” He cupped you face, making you look at him.

“I’m sorry Jason, I’m so so sorry.” You sniffled and he pressed his lips to yours. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” You nodded before looking over his shoulder at Roy and Kori who were crying tears of relief themselves.

Pulling away slightly, Jason helped you stand and they both hugged you immediately. “You scared us shitless” Roy commented, making you smile.

“I’m sorry”

“Stop being sorry” Jason pushed your hair from your face. You were about to say ‘sorry’ again but stopped yourself. He chuckled before kissing you again.

“I love you [F/n] [L/n], and always will.”

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

8/28/19 8:09pm - Meanwhile, In Real Time (basically all of aug ‘19)

So today I only have one patient for the first time in like half a year. I guess it makes sense since it’s the end of august and insurance policies are starting to roll over. After so many busy weeks of work it’s really exciting though.

And it couldn’t have happened at a better time. For one I’m pretty excited to get writing and catching up on this past year. But for TWO, World of Warcraft Classic just launched this week. I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it. Yknow I never played it before because I was worried how it would eat my life like Runescape did. But Spencer and a bunch of NC Melee peeps wanted me to play so I’m in there. Looks like my obsessions really have cycled in order.

[continued at 11:04pm after putting pts to bed]  Pokemon (first grade), Magic (third grade), Runescape (fourth grade), Halo/Gears (7th-9th), Guitar Hero (8th-10th), Quiz Bowl (11th&12th) , Ultimate Frisbee (12th-soph), League of Legends (soph-senior), Melee (senior-last year). I have a kind of filthy habit of playing so much that it’s debilitating and then finally breaking out of it only to move on to doing the same thing with something else.

Since quitting melee I’ve gotten obsessed with Pokemon and Magic, so it looks like getting into WoW was inevitable. 

Just kidding, an unscheduled 2nd patient showed up and it turns out he’s actually supposed to be here so I’m not QUITE so free as all that, but it’s still not 3 patients, 2 is totally easy for me now.

Lol I took this screenshot when I got in to the office 

as of now I’m all caught up with work and I’ve still got 133 minutes to go, so looks like I have plenty of time to write for a second.

So what do I have to catch up on? well my days have been looking like weds-thurs-fri are always work, saturday I’ll stay up all day doing something, sunday I’m usually sleeping in, Monday I’m usually either playing DnD or chilling playing games, and Tuesday is a chill day until karaoke. 

The past two weekends have been kind of crazy though, so I just wanted to write about them for a minute before I got too far gone. 

Actually, let’s go back to 3 weekends ago. I visited Dars because I needed to, it’s been too long. I meant to write a lot more than I did, but instead I stayed up late into the night watching Andi draw shit on twitch. I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately, mostly trying to collect all my thoughts on what I want to write about, but I definitely miss her and hope she’s doing okay. I ‘accidentally’ responded to a question she asked when she was talking to herself on stream, I hadn’t meant to talk to her at all I just wanted to see her do her thing and reflect on her a little.  Really I wanted to watch her play breath of the wild. I miss us playing that together. Watching her enjoy something I enjoyed so much really made me happy. Anyway, I only bring that up because I tried to tune in again to actually watch her play BotW and found out she blocked me from her channel. I could still watch, which was nice, but I couldn’t say anything. Probably for the best. After watching her for a few hours I unfollowed her channel so I wouldn’t even try anymore.

Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.

I did that song at karaoke last night. I practiced in the bathroom and the car beforehand and was nailing it I thought. But I got up on stage and I was thinking of you and I bombed it. I haven’t bombed a song so hard since the time I tried to sing you I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing when I was in drunk-screaming mode, or the first time I tried to do MakeDamnSure. And those were when I was drunk. This I like just tried to get to the high notes and on stage I just couldn’t. My voice kind of broke. I cleared the crowd. It was humiliating, to be honest. I don’t know if I was tired from playing 12 hours of WoW with spencer yesterday (amazing, btw. I had a ton of fun), or if I was thinking of you too much, or if I was actually just floundering from making the first mistake (which doesn’t quite make sense because I’ve made mistakes and then fixed them easily in plenty of songs before). But it was awful.  I got to hang out with some friends for a bit, sang The Hand That Feeds and did excellently at it, got some good cheers and shit, but I still felt like ass. Went home and played some melee and some more WoW and stayed up until 6am and slept 12 hours lmao.

So I had an avocado for dinner and now here I am. I’ve been doing more fasting days lately where I eat really light. They’re not true fasting days because usually I eat a bunch of nuts or something. But I don’t eat a big meal like I normally do once a day. Also I wanted to go back to Darlin’s because we watched zoolander, and at one point he says “bulimia is a great way to lose pounds before a shoot” and I was like “oh yeah, true.” lol so now if someone makes me eat a bunch of ice cream with them (darlin and jill), then I’ll do it and throw it up after -_-. Not the healthiest but I’ve only done it on like two or three occasions. I’m mostly being good. Only exercising once a week lately though, WoW kinda blew up everything this week and I’ve been hella busy lol. 

Okay so week after Darlin’s, I made some new friends at karaoke that my buddy Skyler introduced me to there. I drove up to Virginia on Saturday to do Quarry Fest that tessa and her boyfriend had planned out on his property. It was fucking phenomenal. Spent the day day drinking and swimming, it was gorgeous out, beautiful people in swimsuits everywhere, made a whole bunch of new friends who loved me because they already loved tessa, saw a handful of old high school friends. I really got strong attraction vibes from my friend Emily, but she was there with a new boyfriend so ah well such a shame for her lmao. Stayed up until like 4 in the morning talking with people around a big bonfire, it was just like a fun old rappahannock field party where everyone knew everyone at least by a removal factor of one. Such a beautiful time. I fucking drunkenly danced my ass off all night while these live musicians and djs were on. Just phish style sway jammed out in the sand, made my legs fucking exhausted lol. Moving in sand is so fucking hard! I’d get a drink, chug it down, spin around drunkenly jam around for a bit, sober up, get a new drink, rinse and repeat lmao. The Diet Dr Pepper and white rum idea later in the night was miserable though. FUCK diet drinks they’re not adequate mixers. holy blegh. plus the rum was hot as balls I need to find a new kind of liquor to keep in my trunk. The best idea I’ve heard from people so far is sake. I loved Tessa’s boyfriend’s family too. The one little brother had the same supreme cheetah print that I had on except he had the boxers, we really hit it off actually. After sleeping in my car for the night I woke up and went skinny dipping for like an hour or so, I spent a lot of the next morning talking to him and his girlfriend, mostly entertaining her with the weird stories that I tell on here. She said I was probably the craziest person she’d ever met, and wished that I lived closer so that she could hook me up with her sister. She said she needed to try someone fun like me out LMAO. Then their family made a huge breakfast at their house and I got to pig out on some lox and chit chat with tessa about shit before heading back to Raleigh.

That’s right, I went there and came back for just a day because I needed to be back the next night for Emo Karaoke LOL. There’s no way I was gonna miss it, it’s only once a month. 

It was the craziest thing though. My friends caitlin and gretchen came to emo karaoke but it hadn’t started yet because of an open mic poetry night, so they split to go to Ruby’s annual No Pants Party and told me to meet up with them if I wanted to. I was the first person to sing, I did The Used and it went fantastically. I met this guy morgan and his girlfriend elizabeth I think, and she emailed me a video of it lol I love it. I also sang backup vocals for him on MakeDamnSure, I was so happy that he asked me, I’ve literally practiced doing the backup singing just in case someone ever did hahaha. But after my song this girl walks up to me and says “did you go to chapel hill? Do you remember who I am?” I look at her and it’s none other than fucking LEXI. Like huge crush in college Lexi. Like written about her at least a handful of times at LEAST Lexi. Like I named my fucking CAR after you Lexi. So I was like “HOLY SHIT YES” oh my god and caught up with her and I’m 90% sure she was there with another guy, but I got to meet her friends and chit chat and I screamed my fucking throat out that night. My voice was already toasty from singing in the car all the way up and back from virginia but after that it was torched lmao. I also did The Used+MCR’s Under Pressure with my friend from there Kenny, got some chick’s number, and the list was full so I dipped after that.

Went to the no pants party and it wasn’t super crazy, but I got some beautiful pics lol. Caitlin helped me tie up my shirt super cute, I wore it as a blouse and as an ascot hahaha. But hanging with them at the no pants party mostly got me to this afterparty at a friend’s place downtown.  I had rum and bought some coke that we threw in the freezer, but instead of mixing the coke and rum me and Jacob had this great idea to mix the rum with freezie pops to see if it was any good. Did like 3 shots testing it out to see if the ratio could work. Mostly it tasted like a bad slushie lol. Went to the porch to smoke a cig and people started passing some coke around so I did a little of that, and started having this long ass conversation with this girl MJ. We hit it off for like literally an hour on the porch at 4 in the morning. We talked about pokemon and tons of nerdy video game shit, and it turns out she had been at karaoke that week, I had already listened to her singing! I got her number and have since tried to hit her up a few times to hang out. She’s always responded to all of my texts IMMEDIATELY. like within the minute fast. It’s weird. But unfortunately either because she’s not actually interested or because she’s truly been too busy, I haven’t been able to meet up with her to do anything. I guess we’ll see if that ever develops, but I think she was really cool. I really hope I at least get to make a pass at her.  After that I brought gretchen back to my place to hang out. Didn’t try to hook up with her or anything, but we just wanted to chill and do some blow that I had leftover and wanted to get rid of. Did some talking about some fucked up shit going on with some of her friends dying, but it was mostly in the context of her wanting to go back to the party to try to find an adderall on the ground when we ran out of shit. At like 8 in the morning we drove around to pick up some shit, but nobody was awake, she gave me half an adderall to try to help me stay up but after I popped it I still took a nap in the car while we waited so I was like yeah nah I’m tapping out. After driving to virginia and back and having two late party nights I was fucking spent and didn’t want to miss my appointment to drop my car off for repairs. Honestly though, I have no fucking idea what Brandon saw in her that made him so coocoo for her. She seems like your typical party hardy everything-sucks kind of girl. I don’t think I’ve heard her say a positive thing about...anything. She’s always shit talking or talking down about life or saying she wants to go somewhere else that’s cooler, or that older parties were more fun or some shit. Meh. Luckily I’m not the one tryna bang her, and Caitlin totally balances her out with how smiley and happy she is when I hang out with them. Her and Jacob are cute as fuck too. 

But I DID end up making it to my appointment. My car is almost done being fixed!!

Then I had a board game night that monday, me and Trent and Steven played some of this train game called snowdonia and I narrowly lost. Steven almost always beats me, that fucker lol. I really respect how smart he is about magic and game theory in general tbh.

Last week there was karaoke and work. At karaoke I found out this really cute smiley girl Hannah (a friend/coworker of my lesbian couple friends) is getting a divorce from her husband (she’s like 24), and so thattt’s pretty interesting. I don’t wanna make moves because she’s wonderful and I don’t want to be a douche, but she’s like... still the happiest person I’ve ever met even in the midst of changing her entire life. I kinda wish I could go on a date with her just to find out more about her lol. Saturday I didn’t sleep so that I could go to my friend Helena’s place for her to dye and cut my hair. I really followed through on wanting it to look like Brad Pitt from Once Upon A Time In Hollywood like I decided when we saw it darlin’s lol. I really wanted to change my hair, I’m kind of sick of having bangs in my face and need to symbolically move on to doing something new. Then saturday afternoon/evening I got drunk as fuckkkk with broscious and irene for their housewarming party. First time getting really drunk with them it was so much fun! We played a drinking game while watching a glassblowing show where we drank every time they said glass or blew, so it was pretttty good hahaha. I probably overdid it with the threesome and trap jokes later with their friends when we got to the bar lol, but they seemed so innocent I had to fuck with them a little hahaha. Fell asleep on the floor of their living room at like 3 in the morning because someone else had dibs on the couch. Woke up at like 7am blegh, found out I lost my house key lol, went back to sleep at my place til noon, then went to play board games with steven trent and reyad again.  After that I went to boxcar to meet up with Maya, and she had brought a bunch of her coworkers and Rianne as usual, so it was a great time. We bounced from boxcar to Rianne’s place, got to drink with Ollie and played this weird frog golf game and we discussed whether Blonde or Channel Orange was the better Frank Ocean album. They ALL were fighting me that Channel Orange was just better in every way, but I still think Blonde is incredible. I offered to take Jill home to her place since she lives nearby, we got some mcdonalds and watched some american dad and had some great sex. and again the next morning, and again in the afternoon. So luckily that’s still working out, I thought it had fallen apart, but I’ll explain more on that later on when I finish playing catchup. I took her back to her car and we got some good ass ramen downtown.

We made tentative plans to hang out again the next day and maybe go thrifting and I spent the rest of monday playing Melee for a couple hours. But I woke up at 9am and started playing WoW with spencer, so when she hit me up that she was getting off work at like 3pm I was in the middle of a 6 hour bingefest playing WoW for the first time in my life. He told me I should keep playing with him so I didn’t fall behind and so I thought about it... and then I did lmao. I said that I was nerding out with my roommate and asked if she wanted to hang out after karaoke. She said yeah definitely but she might go to bed earlier than normal (~3) because she had to work a double. I hit her up at midnight to leave karaoke early after that embarrassment of a performance, but she never responded. I think she said she wanted to hang out so that she could blow me off too, tbh. But jokes on her, I got to play more melee until I could get through the login queue for WoW and got to play for another 3 hours. Perfect.

Though more sex would’ve been nice, for sure. 

Anyway, things are going wonderfully. I’m going to a big concert in raleigh in two weeks. Probably just nerding out this weekend since I mixed up my weekends and didn’t make plans. Helena dyed my hair with highlights to look like brad pitt, but I’m changing it to be totally blonde like Maya and Rianne want instead. They miss my old yellow hair lol and Oliver and everyone I’ve asked did too so I’m gonna try it out again. 

Definitely ready to move forward and try some new things. 

I’ve been thinking about Andi way too much the past two weeks. It sucks. I really want to talk to her. And give her her chair back. So I want to see her. But I know I’m feeling good with everything so really things are better off just moving on I guess. Maybe once I finally write my catchup posts about her I can stop thinking about her. But it’s made me procrastinate a lot, I’m like literally doing anything I can to not write these last handful of catchup posts...

But I promise I will soon. I need to do it. Maybe that’s what I’ll do saturday while I wait for the queue for WoW to thin out lmao. It’s currently 12:06 and I still have an estimated time of 13 minutes after trying to log in at 7:45 lol.

Also tryna cop some supreme clothes tomorrow. Wish me luck, I Really hope I can get this tiger print jacket and hat. Boutta drop a mint lol. Clothes are kinda fun. It’s nice not dressing like a hobo all the time, I guess. Mostly because it’s hot. Once it’s the right temperature to wear pajama pants again you better believvvve I’m gonna just get fancy sweatpants lmfao.

Anyway, queue’s finally done! holy shit yeah it’s only 12:15 Kappa. Gonna go play some WoW love you guys bye <3

[callonb]

GYBurst of Inspiration/Motivation

Where does inspiration come from? - Snacks I recorded a song with Samuel Hawkins recently and that was the first line of his verse. Lately thats been on my mind more and more. Where does my inspiration come from and why cant I always bask in its motivational energies? Seems that my drive comes and goes with the moon phases or as planets enter and leave our orbit. Could be the skys dictating my moods and movements (which i think it does have an effect) or it could be the mass amount of coffee and tea i drink a day. Definitely important factors but not quite the source. My mom definitely motivates me, she believes in everything Im doing and helps every way that she can. Its not financially but sometimes emotional support is more important. Shouts out to Momma B you the realist. Same for my homies and not homies as in people i force myself to be around, cuz having friends is what you do. Actual family that i grew up with and have developed a relationship with, the GYB family. The ones who sat me down years ago and was like dude...... you need to take this rap shit seriously. The ones who are now getting more and more involved with the movement every day, pushing everything to the side and riding along with my dream and making them their own. Everyday the homies are pushing to help me create this vision for you guys as they've adopted it as their own. Like minds on the prize, Shouts out the Layer homies. That only seems to be half of it tho, and Ive never felt this type of fire burning inside me before so what is it? Magazine drama and BS doesn't motivate me, Music doesn't seem to hit me the same way anymore. I used to listen to music constantly, new rap definitely doesn't do it for me.....makes me feel lower. New tv shows dont do it for me im bored with most of the popular shows out. Same for games or just typical activities that people partake in. Partys, drugs, random hook ups...It all seems so blah to me and im completely uninterested. I learned I have to stop feeding my lower self and focus on my higher self and what that part of my being truly wants and thats to CREATE!!! Whenever im around an environment that drives me to create and push myself i perform better. So i guess i just realized what really inspires me, and thats a creative environment. Who is responsible for this? Well I saw the Rotunda Project last weekend at Maiden Alley, a collaborative piece by Fairseas. The Fairseas are a group of musicians named Jeran Simmons, Bobby Dowell, Codie Franklin and Shanden Simmons. I watched them plant this seed years ago and now its a giant tree that you can sit back and marvel in its greatness. The main theme of the film was collaborating with your community. I cant lie ive had many many thoughts of leaving my community to collaborate elsewhere but ive came to a realization recently that it isnt necessary. To my surprise and probably a lot of people around here, there is a bubbling hip hop scene around here that is about to explode. Ive started to invest my time and efforts into this scene now and received nothing but results. Shanden has been a major influence in my artistry because he is always honest, encouraging and persistent....three very important characteristics to have in a creative environment and on top of that has become one of what i would consider my best friends. I look at him as one of my GYBrothers. On to the hip hop scene around here tho..... mysterious person named "A" aka the Hollow Man and he is one of the most promising producers/writers around. His solo stuff is outstanding and the collaboration effort we are working on "A & B: The Empire" is next level. Its been well over a year in the making and will shock most people when they hear the new styles i bring to the tape compared to my previous work. A always challenges me to be very intelligent when I piece together my verses and I like that. He makes me want to grab a dictionary and start reading so I can match his extensive vocabulary.....and maybe I have done that lol. Im the ONLY artist that the mystery man works with at the moment and that hits me now in a way it never has before. Like why me, do I really have something in my music that would make this beyond talented artist spend his time and efforts to make beats for us to collab on and want to include me in everything he does? His beats are above any producer Ive ever heard even in the big leagues of the rap game its crazy but he will prolly have his own GYBlog entry about him eventually. I have to move on before i make this to long lol. Next is JSkrilla, I have met the Skrilla a few times in passing but i dont think we realized what each other really could offer the other. Until i ran into him at the damn ROTUNDA PROJECT.....back around full circle. After that we decided to get together. We showed each other some of our music. I didnt know he made dope beats as well as spit hot fucking fire but he does. We shared our philosophies for our craft and talked hip hop and all sorts of other randomness. Then we picked a beat and wrote a song on the spot. Bar for bar back and forth. J stressed to me it had been a LONG time since he had been able to just sit down and write with another emcee that wasnt intimidated by his ability to write on the spot, or to match his caliber of wordplay and rhyme schemes. To both mine and his delight I delivered. Skrilla really challenged me tho, most artist get so caught up in the main stream BS or conforming to certain concepts and topics in their verses that it had been a while since I had felt pressure when writing to make sure my bars are up to par. Felt good to feel that energy again i had been missing the want to become better and that leads me to the main cause of my motivation and my improvments or just overall attitude change whatever you want to call it. the TRYBE!!!! Snacks, B. James, and Waun D. are the Cerberus of this rap shit. I have a lot to owe to them. GYB and Trybe share the same values as far as what we hope to contribute to the culture of arts and musics and how we hope to impact the hip hop community as well as the communities we all live in. I have done one show with them and have multiple other ones lined up with them. As a matter a fact i cant see myself doing a show with anyone but them from here on out. Once again them as well as JSkrilla could have their own full length blog entry but i digress for the sake of your attention lol. The Trybe challenges me to be a better emcee by making me freestyle. Which if you have been around me doing music ive never been a good freestyler.....UNTIL NOW!!! They have cracked that shell and brought me out of it. Making me partake in their cyphers everytime we get together. Soon Ill be as smooth off the top as i am with the writtens then its over for everyone! Sharpening my skills is not something that other rappers really push you to do. Rap is very competitive and braggadocios so pushing someone to improve and possible be better than you is unheard of. The Trybe doesnt see it that way though, they want us all to grow together. With a shared love for hip hop and me and Snacks shared love for Anime we can talk for hours and hours before we realize we havent done any music lol. Everytime I hear a new Trybe song i feel my artistry being challenged. The message in their music makes me want to really focus on the concepts i present in my music and start challenging my self to pretty much step my game up. Between Skrilla, "A", and TrYbe, everything new I hear makes me question my latest bars which is exactly what I need. Hip Hop is my life and my love and above any amount of money i can potentially make off this art is the desire to be the best emcee to ever grab a mic and thats the same mindset i had when i originally picked up the pen and decided i would be a rapper. Before i saw 8 mile and realized that being a white rapper wasnt necessarily accepted, before all the laughs, all the hate and just general shade i received for my dreams. Being white in this game is a roadblock but for the first time these guys made me realize that i have overcame that hurdle 100 times over. I had a long talk with the Trybe last night and they gave me a boost of confidence that finally fully ignited that fire i had lit but tried to conceal. Im no longer worried about what is cool or what people want. I just want to create and you will more than likely like it because I do have skills that i myself had been sleeping on. I hear these artist like A, Skrilla, and Trybe and i felt underneath them but now i see my self as an equal. We all have different things we bring to the table that compliment each other and its time to put it all together and make it happen. Plus we all just fucking dope and there is no denying. This is my new goal. No more time wasted on what i "think" is the right move. Im going to follow what i KNOW to be the right path and follow my heart. Thats challenging myself with these artist and like minded individuals to always be better. Also as Snacks has said before "move at LIGHT SPEED" thats just what Ill do with my light brothers here. We like some damn warriors of this rap shit waging war against a evil corrupt entity but thats also for a whole separate entry lol But no war of this caliber is complete without a general so shoutout to SirDuke. Ive also recently became friends with this crazy dude and he has shown me in just the short time ive known him more love and support than some people ive known my whole life. He also inspires me because he has dedicated his life to serve and protect (literally) and most importantly LEAD. He has an army of pretty much every hood and every rapper in each of them just waiting for his call. and he is not leading them astray, Shoutout the Kollektiv. Duke is also a talented singer and emcee. He has a show with me tomorrow at the Hangover in Murray MAKE SURE YOU COME TO THAT AND SEE MY NEW ALBUM CONSCIOUS TRAP PERFORMED LIVE starting at 9pm. but yeah Duke is dope and I can appreciate his leadership skills and what he hopes to accomplish in his community by cleaning it up through music. He is rubbing off on my and motivating me to hold that same position with my Layer army of GYB homies ive assembled. Most of them are clueless about the industry and music so its up to me to guide and lead them so they can be their own selves and make it in this world without the middle man down your neck. Im going to wrap this up because it ended up being way longer than i intended but i wanted to also say to my fellow collaborators and friends above all. Wolf, Golden Wrist Banks, Trevell, Dope, Simple, Benji and Angel Mascato. You guys have MAD SKILLS. You guys inspire me too because I hear something different in your music than i hear from most. I want you all to continue to grow and expand your creativity to new levels. Tell YOUR story. The same story is constantly told but how will you tell YOURS in the true challenge. So i encourage you guys like i have been recently, step outside of the norm and do what you truly feel in your heart that you need to, fuck what everyone else wants from you just create the way you feel appropriate. A lot of you are working with Duke regularly and I think he will tell you the same thing I am now. Even if its certain people in your lives holding you back, they gotta go. Surround yourself with positive people that want to grow with you instead of out grow you and you will see the same results. Probably why you guys were all on my latest album, except Trevell im sorry and you should have been but you know the deal homie its all love. Frank.....dammit man just rap lol but anyways ill end it on this note. Getting in touch with that child like mind state and that pureness of love in my heart again. Losing all my intentions to want to be better and out do someone but rather COLLABORATE with like minds in my community has already in return pushed me forward in a lot of ways. Seems almost as if they had been waiting on me this whole time. Its certain that my actions are now speaking louder than my words and everyone is starting to catch on. including myself finally. If you read this far thank you and I love you. Youre more than likely part of the reason why i typed this or why i even continue to do what i do. I trust you guys just as much as you trust ill deliver. Have a great day, maybe you can draw inspiration from this or some of the same people or things that i do! So put down that magazine full of empty content and read something meaningful that you are interested in, turn off the news and watch some anime, stop playing shooter games and play final fantasy, stop eating out and prepare your own meals, dont listen to music just play instrumentals and freestlye every day or just make your own, quit scrolling on facebook and take a stroll around the block, only spend time with those that help you grow rather than keep you low. So much inspiration out there sometimes we just have to break away from what we are used to in order to pull from the experience. Now im really done. and excuse my poor grammer and probably a shit load of spelling errors. That wont ever change, these blog post are run on sentences of my thoughts that pass through my head every day. Sometimes i just take the time to jot them out as they pass. PEACE LOVE AND GYB!!

[wishingfornever]

1/10/2018 – No Contact:  Hitting the Polls

So, I ended up asking a question to my fellow nations and I got minimal communication out of it.  Lol, I’m really bad at being responsible. I ended up watching several movies yesterday.  And by yesterday I mean it’s almost 1am and I watched three movies as well as ordered a large pizza and ate it at one sitting.  I’m a terrible person.

Three movies, all animated and almost all French.  The Angry Birds Movie (which was better than I thought it’d be), Avril and the Extraordinary World, and The Long Way North.  The last two were the french ones.  I watched these after binge watching CellSpex who I started watching due to her Zero Punctuation styled portrayal of herself.  Not to say she’s ripping it off or anything, she just uses a very simplistic way to illustrate herself being her outline. Expression is done with a simple outline of eyes rather than using a facecam like other channels.

The Angry Birds Movie… as mentioned, better than I thought it was going to be.  I relate with the angry main character because I too have large eyebrows.  Oh, and I might have anger problems.  CellSpex mentioned how it was an allegory for Trump being right, but the way I saw it was… anti-American.  The pigs represented the United States as evident with their boats and greedy pigs with Southern Accents. The eagle was the outdated throes of liberty, coming back to aid a less advanced people to overcome their enemy who is a western power. In the end, they sing praises of “Red” which is communism!

I guess my point is, if you look for something you’ll find it.  I don’t think it’s trying to push a Communist message but everything can be open to interpretation.  That’s what makes everything so challenging.  When you take a religion and you determine your interpretation is the only correct one, then you end up with Protestantism and Catholicism with all these little heresies in between.

That said, Avril and the Extraordinary World.  I was a little let down.  I thought the art was something.  The animation was well done, I like how each individual person sort of moved on their own accord.  Gives a lot of life to the world in a very subtle way, I felt.  The opening scene with the police was just stellar.  However, I did feel the second half of the movie was somewhat weaker.  The ideas I came up for were WAY cooler than what actually happened.

I really wanted to see it in French, however.  I would have preferred subtitles.  Especially when the talking cat (who is actually quite charming, btw) requests Avril explain something simply by saying, “In English, please.”  That actually pissed me off.  They’re French. They’re in France.  They should speak French.  Even if the movie is in English, they should have said, “In French, please.”

I also thought the villain creatures were kind of… cute.  I mean, I didn’t like the idea behind them and sort of felt that they didn’t fit that well in a supposedly steampunk setting.  I was hoping for more politics and thought that they’d be a rival nation like Prussia or something.

Which reminds me, they (the French) were at were with the American League, for some reason… and they built a bridge to connect themselves with Britain.  Um… why?  They’re the BIGGEST rivals.  In fact, France had plans to invade Britain prior to WWI (if it came to that, of course).  And considering a Napoleon sat on the throne…  Not that it mattered.  The entire political system was sort of just background noise.  The Emperor wasn’t really important except that the original Napoleon III died.  Even then, he could have totally been replaced with a government stooge and it would have been fine.  I don’t know why they wanted France to be a monarchy when it was pretty unneeded.  If there were more politics in the movie, then yeah.  That’d be important.  But… it’s not, really.  It’s just kind of there.

There is a lot that I didn’t like now that I think about it.  I was expecting… A LOT more.  And I dislike how the Alternative History got the real history… wrong.  Like certain things wouldn’t have been able to happen due to what they proposed.  That’s always been a pet peeve of mine.  And I also dislike how they just selected a group of famous or relatively well-known scientists from the early 20th century just to be sort of… cameos.  I mean… Tesla.  That’s the only one people really would care about.

Regardless, I liked the animation, even though the noses and ears were really big.  The cat was great, as mentioned, and the grandfather wears spats.  That’s nice.  Fashion hadn’t changed much, it seems, as they still had late victorian wear.  It’s steampunk, which is sort of underplayed in media.  It’s charming.  It’s just… eh.  I was hoping for more.  I felt disappointed.  Like, if it were a pizza I’d have eaten it all and still feel like I hadn’t eaten enough.  And it’d have mushrooms which I dislike but I’ll eat anyways because it’s still good pizza.

Finally, The Long Way North.  This was my favorite of the night.  It was GORGEOUS.  Just beautiful.  The artwork wasn’t as detailed as Avril and blah blah blah but it was still very inviting.  What I liked most about it is that it didn’t use a lot of black outlines.  Really, it had very few outlines.  Samurai Jack did this, sort of.  The eyes are simple but they were beautiful.  The motion was just… refreshing.

The story was fine, though I did have some quips about how they’re supposed to be in Russia.  Only ONCE did I see Cyrillic.  The rest of the writing was mostly in French, which admittedly would have been a thing for Russian Aristocracy to know… but not Norwegian sailors. At least, I assume they’re Norwegian.  They have Scandinavian names and the ship is called the “Norge.”  I don’t really know what they do, either.  Like, they’re not whalers and they’re not transporting goods.  What do you do?!

They make plot happen, I guess.

I found how they did feet to be weird but also kind of… cute.  It had a childlike spirit but was still captivating.  There were some dumb cliches here and there and some more questions that I’d like answers for, but for the most part?  It’s a movie I want to suggest to Ariel.  I think she’d like it too.  :D

Time for bed.  Going to be a busy day tomorrow.  I intend to finish my tax plan tomorrow.  Or… today.

Well, that was a waste.  Current time is 10.  I didn’t have a lot of time today.  I was called in for work.  Drat.  I posted a poll asking about “What we should do!” and what should be taxed.  Irrelevant, really.  Just buying me time.  I didn’t have the chance to pick up honey mustard or anything else, not that it matters.  I was too tired from work.

I ended up watching videos and streams when I got back.  I can’t recall what I really did today, which is weird.

I’m watching an old movie.  Troy.  It came out 14 years ago.  An old story but I don’t like how the narration begins with, “Will they remember us in 2004?!”  Golly, I don’t know.  Will they remember us in 6018?  It’s dumb.  And they keep doing it.  “They’ll tell our tales thousands of years from now!”  Shut up!  Stahp it!  No! Stop bragging about how we remember an ancient story!  Stop it.  You don’t see modern stories about snipers talking about “In 300 years, they’ll remember me.”

Dumb.  So dumb.

Still, I quite enjoy troy.  Not a lot of ancient movies that aren’t overtly religious or mythic.  Like… it’s somewhat similar to what France considered art while Rembrandt was doing his thing.  He had stark contrasts with sublime imagery as did other Dutch artists while to the French, this was not art!  Art must be old, depicting historic events or mythological events!  That’s why there is SO much art depicting ancient kings and whatever and not much of the actual normal every day from that period.

Like, cool, but for real though.  Branch out.

In the 60’s and 70’s all Ancient movies were just… meh.  Ben-Hur. Romans.  Jesus, also.  Dumb.  I hated Ben-Hur.  Jason and the Argonauts.  Also dumb but impressive for its time.  Then The 300 Spartans or whatever movie.  Also dumb.  Haven’t seen it, but it’s dumb.  Of course, that one isn’t religious but I’m sure it’s got some religious undertone.  Most American movies did, probably in an effort to combat Communism.

Anyways, I’m trying to think of a good movie about Rome or Ancient Greece… idk.  There is a lot you can do, I’d personally like to see something involving the siege of Syracuse during the second punic war.  Which reminds me.  Why is Hannibal not in any movies?

Of course, Hannibal would perhaps be cast by an African American gentleman if they made a movie about it.  Really, they should get an Israeli to do it as the Carthaginians were a Semitic people.  Of course, that might not be enough because the modern Israeli can be sort of white at times. Perhaps an Arabic character would be fine.  Just a Middle-Eastern sort of appearance physically.

Regardless, going to watch my movie.  I like the outfits because they’re not the greek armor you know and love.  Breastplate, corinthian helmet, bracers… honestly, you had to supply your own kit back then.  So, there wouldn’t really be a uniform.  What I described?  That’s expensive and I’m fairly certain they didn’t have bracers.  Just didn’t.  Not sure why, may have been a waste of armor to them.

That said, the armor takes some inspiration from this old boar tusk helmet from the Mycenean period.  They were basically early Greeks which is appropriate for the… well, Greeks in the movie.  A lot of detail and design.  Sometimes too much design, but still.  It was clear that “These aren’t the Greeks we see from pottery.  These Greeks are even MORE Ancient!”  Except for Achilles who has a Corinthian helmet… with a very open face.  And somewhat modern armor for the time.

Regardless, I always felt good costumes help sink you into the feel of the movie. When I was younger, this all looked perfect to me.  Now?  Not so much, but it gets a pass.

Oh, Christ.  The costumes are worse than I remember.  Non-Greek items on supposedly Greek men.  They mentioned a lot of places in Greece, too. Not sure how powerful they would have been at this time but they didn’t sound very… well, powerful.  In fact, I think it’s kind of redundant.  Thessaly also looks like a desert.  It’s in greece so I THINK it should be green but I’m not sure.

The capital A without the line in the middle.  That’s a popular thing on shields.  Called a Lambda.  It’s basically the letter “L” for the Greeks.  Spartans never really used the lambda until AFTER the battle of Thermopylae which is YEARS after.  I say that because I noticed a random lambda at Achilles’s yurt.  Very ancient if they’re using yurts instead of housing.  Almost nomadic.

They say Thessalonian again.  I think he’d be identified more by his city rather than region.  Thessaly isn’t a city but a region.  I guess it’s not wrong, just unusual.

Army shots.  A lot of extras.  Thing is, uniforms are very important in movies because you can recognize them versus us!  We’re the good guys, we wear white while… eh.  Yeah, there was a lot of individuality in the militaries back then.  Armors would look different, shields would DEFINITELY be different, colors would be different, or whatever.  As mentioned, you brought what you had.  If you had a yellow shirt then you wore it.  Your friend would wear a blue shirt.  The idea of uniforms being an important thing to have wasn’t really a thing until quite recently.  Even in Ancient Rome when they had a professional army, you’d still see a few different effects here and there.  Mostly with officers, mind you, who could afford it.  But still.

I LOVE how they have to convince Achilles to stay because their army is scared.  Like, dude.  They’re scared because Achilles fights all the battles for them.  If he leaves, then they have to fight.  And they’ve probably never fought a battle because Agamemnon says, “Best fighters fight only!” all the time.  It’s a miracle the Greeks ever conquered Troy.

Oh, shit.  They have that weird helmet thing with a super circular crest. Didn’t notice it.  The guards at the table during a feast. Guarding… a portion of important wall?  Hrm.  Regardless, I’ve seen that helmet before.  Also seems to be a Saracen helmet adorned by someone at the table… for reasons?

Sparta is the most fucking overrated city state ever.  Just a thought.

Poseidon? I’m fairly certain the Trojans had different gods than the Greeks because they weren’t actually Greek.  I’m not entirely certain, however.  Just fairly.

The Greeks wear red and the Trojans wear blue.  Hrm…  Weird thing to notice.

Paris loves Helen… thing is, love wasn’t really an acceptable reason for marriage back then.  Funny thing, that.  You see someone talking about how in Greek mythology, humans had 4 arms and 4 legs and Zeus separated them so they’d have to forever find their soulmate, you look them in the eye and call them a liar.

Country wouldn’t really be the term.  City-State.  So City.

Whenever someone says, “Poetic” my ears perk like my name is being called. Hector said “Nothing Poetic” and I’m like, “Eh?!”  First half of my screen name.  ;)

Proved.  That’s a word, yeah.  Sounds weird.  I think I would have said, “Proven.”

Every day wear costumes are… weird.  Costumes in general are getting weirder.  Sean Bean, what?

And Odysseus references his wife.  Lel.  Odyssey easter egg.  And then he talks about how remembered it’d be… oof.  Stahp it.

Larissa? Wait, what?  That’s IN fucking Thessaly!  Achilles fought other Thessalians?  Seriously?  And the king of Thessaly didn’t know who Achilles was?  Achilles just happen to be a POWERFUL mercenary, born locally.  In fact, he’s from what is probably your main city.  I mean, he’s bumped elbows with OTHER kings like Odysseus.  And now they’re talking about being remembered again!  Christ, this is like the prequel to Coco.  -,-

Priam has a voice like deep velvet.  Oof.  Powerful.  Wasn’t expecting that from such a narrow figure.

Thinking back, I think in the Iliad the Gods were on both sides because they felt split about the issue.  I can’t remember, I read it in high school and it was sort of difficult to read through.  So, maybe they did worship the same gods?  Or maybe Homer assumed they did.  It’s possible.

What accent does Hellen have?  Everyone is English but she sort of sounds… well, drunk.

I hate when extras have their gear slightly to the side like it doesn’t fit correctly or something.  Dude, straighten your helmet.  Do what you need to do.  Everyone should be passed around a handheld mirror or something.  -,-

Oh, those archers have the most worthless helmets.  You could have a band of metal wrapped around your head that will get hot and eventually start cooking your flesh in the nice, Mediterranean sun… or you could wear a straw hat.  Both will protect you about the same.  The stray hat may actually be better, considering it won’t melt your forehead.  If the sun exists and can get hot, you don’t want to be touching metal.

Something I do remember is whenever someone who had awesome armor fell in battle in the Iliad, people fucking lost their shit and rushed to loot the body.  Strip them of their armor.  Random fact.  May remember it wrong.  So, a lot of those people who are fighting would have a shield, a helmet, and a spear with nothing else.  The myrmidons would be decked out because they’re badasses and they’d have collected armor from previous encounters… but the run of the mill warrior wouldn’t.

I want to see a movie where the armor isn’t a suggestion.  I want to see it actually save someone’s life.  Preferably, someone who isn’t a main character.  Something else I’d like to see is more people who are just… wounded.  Not killed but just wounded.  This may surprise you but most casualties in a battle weren’t really fatalities.  Well, not immediately… wounds could be fatal but they didn’t die instantly.  I dislike seeing the aftermath of a battle and it’s a field littered with corpses.  It wouldn’t be that static.  There would be crying, people huddled in a ball, people writhing in pain.  It’s actually kind of hard to kill a person. But no.  Everyone must die instantly.

Oh, look.  D-Day.  Lelelelelelel.

Random thing to note.  The Romans believed their people were originally Trojans.  This is probably untrue.  However, I do think it’s a possibility that their neighbors to the north may have been Trojan. They were the Etruscans and not a lot is known about them.  The Romans had a tendency to adopt customs and cultural ideas from other cultures, look at their gods.  Basically reskinned Greek gods.  The Etruscans being Trojan?  Perhaps the Romans adopted their neighbors’ history and some of their identity.  Just a thought, of course.

“I spoke with two farmers today.  They saw an eagle with a serpent clutched in it’s talons today.  This is a sign from Mexico.  They will pay for our wall.”  I make myself laugh.

I’m not sure they’d be kissing.  I believe kissing was a Roman tradition.  Was very unusual in other cultures.

Looking at the extras for the armies, I’d say this may have been filmed in Turkey.  If so, they used the Turkish army as extras.  That’s a common thing to do.  You pay the government rather than the extras so it’s cheaper.  Then again, they may have filmed somewhere else.  I assumed Turkey because that’s where Troy is supposed to be.  But the Trojans aren’t Turks.  Remember that.

Lol, they look like my cousins actually.  I think I see one of Adela’s brothers.

Hrm, maybe they aren’t entirely from an army. If they are, then they allowed the soldiers to grow beards just for the movie.  I’m curious where it’s filmed now.  :o

...is this Mexico?

HOLY FUCK, IT MIGHT BE!!!  I just Googled it.  They filmed in Malta and Mexico.  Mexico was where they filmed the gates and wall of Troy. Whoa.  The extras probably are Mexican.  Certainly a lot of CGI.  And it makes the idea that the eagle with the serpent thing represents a sign from Mexico even better.  I wouldn’t have guessed Mexico but the guy with Agamemnon looked like one of my uncles.  Interesting. :D

Hector has a very handsome actor playing him.  More handsome than Brad Pitt I feel.

There is a nose guard on the helmet of Paris.  When we see through his perspective, however, it’s sawed off.

He spits out a lot of blood for what looks like SUCH a weak punch.

Apollonians… they look like every other soldier.  It probably would have been cheaper if their costumes were more realistic.  Minimal armor for the average soldier while the Apollonians would have actual armor.  That way, they’re unique and can be identified quickly.  Also, archers are op please nerf.

The Hittites are mentioned.  That’s pretty neat except the Hittites are on the other side of Turkey, almost Armenia.  I can’t remember if it were them or the Assyrians but one of their cultures relied on conquest.  Either their civilization conquered or the world would end.  They had to win EVERY battle… well, they lost a battle. World didn’t end.  Then their civilization collapsed.  The lesson there is push for victory but allow defeats.  You can lose every battle in a war but that doesn’t mean the war is lost.

I feel the scene where Achilles rescues the priestess is cliché.  So cliché.  :/

They’re listing off gods now.  Eh…  There were literally hundreds of gods in Greek culture.  Like, I touched on this back with Hercules.

Sean Bean actually has a rather soothing voice.  I never noticed that until now.  I remember in the Sharpe series, he pissed me off.  Even then, I think it was less to do with his character and more to do with Anglophilia.  As well as blatant classism.  And horrible cliches, again.  And inaccurate historical portrayals.  Then again, I guess the books may have been better.  Not sure.  It was suggested to me back when I played vidya gams.

Patroclus is a terrible actor.

“Attack at daybreak!”  *attacks in the middle of the night WITH FUCKING NAPALM!!!*

Really, if you could get so close to their camp without setting off the alarm, why not just go in and stab everyone quietly.  I mean, you’re already attacking at night.  Just… come on.  Wouldn’t Apollo have better watch over you when the sun is out?

I love how they march in the sand.  Like, they look like they’re running SO slowly.  Fun times.

The armies stop fighting to watch the best fighters fight.  I’m not sure how true that is but I’ve heard it’s happened on medieval battlefields before.

One of the extras in the back, shaking his head.  I love it.

“There are no turns, so you can’t get lost.  I know you too well.  Got lost in the fucking hallway… dumb bitch.”  I shouldn’t poke fun.  I get lost easily as well.

Archery. Ah, yes.  Warfare for the cowardly.

Good fight between Hector and Achilles… except Achilles forgot his helmet, shield, and spear head.  D’oh!

King Priam snuck into the Greek encampment.  Really?  If some old dude could do it then the Trojans could have snuck at least Hector in there.  Killed a few people, slit a few throats of sleeping Greeks and then flee.  Cause chaos or something.  Didn’t have to turn the beach into the Vietnam War.

Wait, Priam knew Achilles father?  And the king of Thessaly never even heard of Achilles?  The guy who is literally two yurts down from his palace?

CGI soldiers… huh.  I wonder why CGI movies aren’t more common.  I think they did something like that with Beowulf but it was just… weird.  Not a good movie.  There was a movie called Beowulf and Grendel which was interesting.  Not the best, either, but they had historically accurate armor.  Always nice.  Was true to the original lore, as well.

CGI might be cheaper than live action in terms of large battles and historical accuracy.  And if you’re doing a series, maybe you can reuse assets.  Then again, it might be more expensive due to… well, CGI taking time to do.  Time is literally money.

Oh, Aeneas has a part in this?  I was under the impression that he was a cousin of Hector and Paris.  Paris doesn’t know him?  Huh.

“We’ll be together!  In this world or the next!”  Erm…  The River Styx isn’t a very romantic setting.

Lol, this dude just bounced his shield.

There is a lot of impalings in this movie.

Oh, Agamemnon died.  Weird, I thought he survived the war.  I guess he was basically the antagonist in this movie… though I don’t think there really was an antagonist in the Iliad.  Every story nowadays needs someone to personify evil, I guess.  Where Achilles is honorable, Agamemnon seeks power.  They clash, thus they’re opposites.

Eh…  I prefer the idea of not having antagonists.  We expect the bad guy to lose.  To die.  To be punished.  In reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not that life is tragedy, it’s just what you make of it. Those who do what they must ensure a better world for themselves and those they care about.  Behind every pair of eyes is a story.  And in every story, they will be their own hero.  And each story… each hero.  They’re all flawed.

That’s what makes a good character.

Geez, Achilles.  I bet you wish you didn’t forget your armor in front of the gates of Troy.  Dumb ass.

If I recall correctly, Achilles doesn’t die in the Iliad.  I’m not sure I remember the ending at all.  However, it’s suggested that Paris’s shot was guided by Apollo himself… because Paris is a coward and isn’t allowed to be credited with defeating Achilles. Poor, poor Paris.

Of course, I’ve heard a lot of things.  My dad told me about how Achilles was on his chariot, dragging Hector’s body and Paris prayed to Apollo to guide his arrow and it hit Achilles’s heel.  He falls off his chariot and his head hit a rock.  That’s what my dad told me.  I don’t actually know how he died but the way I heard it sounds dumb.  Also conflicts with the Iliad, which probably isn’t the most ACCURATE of sources, but I like the idea of Achilles finding a bit of peace by returning the body of Hector.

Alright. Movie is over.  Not as good as I remembered but it was decent.  :D

Current time is 2:30.  I did the thing I thought was probably annoying.  The movie thing.  Not really a review, more a walkthrough.  If you just read it while not watching the movie then I just describe dumb moments.  I said I wouldn’t do it again because it’s annoying. But I started and I couldn’t stop.  My weakness is historical facts in movies.  D’oh!  And I told Adela I’d do the dishes before I went to bed!  Also D’oh!

I’ll do them… it’s just really late.  I’m irresponsible.  A good reason to not document my movie viewing experience is because of this crap right here.  I started watching a two hour movie at 11.  Maybe before.  And I just finished it.  I did a lot of writing with the occasional stop by google to check where the movie was made and who died when. Btw, I was right.  Agamemnon survived the war.  -,-

Anyways, time for bed.  But first, dishes.  Night.