#ultra Magnus has a bad day

[tripleglitchwriting]

You mentioned Ultra Magnus trying to cope with the world of One Piece and the Strawhat Pirates and I. Am. Here. For. It.

UM is a very ernest stressed out lawful good character. and the Strawhats are a chaotic good force. More Chaos than all the Wreckers and the Lost Light put together.

So in honor of that post If you don't mind me asking for two requests in one request box open run I'd like to request a One Piece/Lost Lighters crossover.

The Strawhats are helping The Lost Light crew because Luffy and Rodimus vibe. Roddy has a grand fleet flag and Luffy has a Rodimus star.

Either, Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus in a lull in the action asks Robin why she's a Strawhat Pirate. She's the only sane one here.

Or, if your in the mood for something lighter, Franky and Brainstorm Share The Brain-cell^TM while Usop and Perceptor attempt damage control.

YOU UNDERSTAND. YOU GET IT. I will be happy to write this!! I’m sorry it took me so long, I’ve been going through a rough patch when it comes to motivation.

The lost light characters may be a bit ooc because I’ve been having a hard time gauging their personalities. A lot of what I have for them in my head is from other fanfictions.

Also, this is just the start of the story, it’s just how they meet. I’ve yet to write specific interactions between characters, but I wholeheartedly plan to write more!

A little side note for clarification on One Piece in case anyone needs it:

- This takes place sometime after Jinbei gets on the ship

- I watch the dub so I’m going to use all of the names and such they use there (ex. Black foot Sanji -> Black leg Sanji)

- Sanji and Brook will be normal to women. I just don’t want to write them being weird.

Without further ado, I present…

Ten Idiots Meet A Ship Full Of Other Significantly Bigger Idiots

Synopsis:

After an experiment gone bad on the Lost Light (again), a portal is temporarily opened up to another dimension. Before it could be closed, however, a group of strange individuals manage to slip through.

After a long day at sea, The Strawhats always look forward to a first-class home cooked meal by Sanji himself. It was a beautiful evening- the crew opted to stay out on the deck of the Sunny to watch the sunset.

“SANJI! I’M HUNGRY! FOOD! NOW!” Not that much peace could be had with a captain like Luffy.

“I’m coming! Not every cook can whip up something like this every night you know. I swear, you guys eat more than a whole island every day.”

“Hey, that’s just Luffy. Don’t include the rest of us in this!” Nami shouted from the stairs leading to where the rest of the crew sat.

“I’M YOUR CAPTAIN AND I SAY FEED ME! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Luffy pumped his arms as he chanted, sticking his tongue out as he watched Sanji cart out a giant platter of cartoonishly large meat.

“Smells as delicious as ever, Sanji.” Brook commented.

“Thank you, Brook. At least someone appreciates my food around here.” He glared at his captain, who was completely oblivious to everything else around him and solely focused on his food. Everyone else chatted away. Laughing, eating, looking up at the beautiful swirling vortex that had just appeared in the sky.

Wait.

Luffy had to stretch his arms up as his food began to be sucked into the portal above them, but it was in vain as he began to float too. The Sunny creaked as gravity shifted around them, everything but the ship itself beginning a startling ascent upwards.

“MY MEAT! NAMI, WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

“How should I know?!” She clung to an uprooting tangerine tree, “This is NOT normal! I haven’t read anything about whatever this is!”

“Everybody hang on to something!” Jinbei ordered, staring to float himself. Brook didn’t seem to get the message, as he was the first to loose his grip.

“SOMEBODYHELPMEIMBEINGPULLEDIN—”vwoop! And then he was gone.

“BROOK!” Luffy, having already eaten everything on his plate, launched himself into the portal.

“Damnit Luffy!” Zoro did the same soon after.

“What? Are we seriously going in that thing?” Chopper squealed, Usopp and Nami seemed to agree.

“Maybe we’ll all be immediately killed once we enter. It would be a painless death at least.” Robin said calmly, affixing herself to the ground with her devil fruit powers.

“YOU ARE NOT HELPING!” Usopp, Nami, and Chopper all screamed in unison.

“I suppose this is our next adventure!” Jinbei leapt through the portal. Sanji sighed and followed after him.

“Well, Sunny’s too big to go through that thing, so I guess we’re goin’ in without her.” Franky detached himself from the mast.

“Okay everyone, come on.” Robin peeled Usopp, Nami, and Chopper from their death grips on the ship and took all of them with her as she joined the rest of the crew.

“ROBIN WHY-“ Vwoop! And just like that, the Thousand Sunny was left empty.

————————————

Brainstorm was in big trouble. And possibly the entire Lost Light. And maybe the universe. The good news is his portal machine worked! The bad news is it was now pulling in random things from a random space in the multiverse. This would be a great opportunity to study it, unfortunately the stability of the thing was questionable. That is to say the portal was currently beginning to implode.

“Brainstorm, what are you doing!?” Preceptor skidded into the room right as he heard the snapping and crackling of something that probably shouldn’t be making that sound.

“Oh, nothing. It’s fine! It’s fine. I just need to- oh that’s not good. Actually do you mind helping me shut this down before it destroys the entire ship?”

“You’re going to be the death of all of us-” right as he began to walk toward the vortex, a screaming clatter of something came speeding out of it. On closer inspection, it seemed to be the corpse of a human.

“Oh, well, that’s new.” Brainstorm oh so helpfully commented. Just after another being came from the portal, also screaming but not quite as dead. Another followed, this one with a complete and utter look of annoyance on his face.

“What in the- Brainstorm, what did you do?” Ratchet entered, as did Ultra Magnus.

Soon there was an array of things entering the room. Aside from the array of random objects, there was a large blue organic followed by an another human wearing a black suit, then large possibly techno organic. Four other small people shot out shortly after.

“CLOSE IT! CLOSE IT NOW!” Ratchet ordered.

“Oh why didn’t I think of that- oh wait, I did, and I COULD USE SOME HELP!” Together they pulled on a comically large mad scientist like lever affixed to the portals control panel. As quick as it had arrived the portal was gone, though what- or who- it had just pulled in were gaining their bearings.

“Hahahaha! That was fun!” One of the humans, one wearing a yellow hat with a red line across it, put his hand on his head and looked around. It took him a second to notice, but when he finally realized where he was the man yelled, “WOAH! Cool! This place is huge!”

“It seems to be some sort of… metal building. A giant workstation perhaps.” The blue man said thoughtfully.

“Well I say we get out of here! I don’t want to be around when we find out why this place needs to be so big!” A long-nosed human whisper shouted.

“What, like those freaky statues?” The very annoyed man gestured at Brainstorm, Ultra Magnus, Ratchet, and Preceptor, who were all standing completely still. That is, until Rodimus showed up.

“Brainstorm, I heard yelling, is there a fight? Without me?” He strolled in casually, not looking at the floor, and instead focusing on his crew who were all staring at him. “What? What did I do?”

“That. Is. AWESOME!” Something from the floor shot up at Rodimus’s face. “Are you a robot? Can you shoot lasers? Do you eat metal?!” Somehow, someway, there was an ecstatic human right in front of his optics.

“Luffy! Get down from there!”

“Woah. So, care to explain? Anyone?”

“We are not robots, we are Cybertronian.” Ultra Magnus automatically stated.

“Cool!” ‘Luffy’, as his friend called him, somehow managed to launch himself on top of Rodimus’s helm. “Is there any food here?”

“Luffy! Damnit-” Another of the humans, the one in the suit, jumped. Accept when one would normally begin to succumb to gravity and fall back down, he took another step in the air and kept going. “You are so reckless!” The man tackled Luffy off Rodimus and they both began to plummet down to the ground- a height deadly to something so small.

“Sanji, let me down! I want to talk to the robot!”

“How about you shut up and come up with a plan before you get us all killed!” The moment they jumped off, Ratchet was already in motion. He was able to dive behind Rodimus to catch the two, but as he slid on the ground to save them ‘Sanji’ jumped off the air again and landed perfectly safe.

“I… I can’t even begin to explain this.” He admitted in a completely defeated tone, now chassis down on the floor.

“Do they all move?” A small voice whispered from the group still standing where the portal once was.

“I hope not.” Another replied.

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.” Brainstorm said calmly.

“I don’t think anyone could have predicted this.” Ultra Magnus put his servo on his helm. The two that had just survived a deadly landing like it was nothing walked back to their group- one much more unhappy than the other.

“Sorry about him. He does this a lot.” The annoyed green haired man glared at both of them.

“Oh, like you’re any better moss head.”

“Oh yeah? At least I didn’t jump in the face of a giant robot!”

“Yeah, cause you’d get lost on the way there!”

“You take that back-“

“STOP IT!” Half of the new arrivals shouted at the same time. One orange haired girl stepped up to comfort the bickering duo.

“This is not the time to argue! We’re kind of… we- look!” She gestured at, well, everything. Everyone else seemed to silently agree.

“Greetings visitors from another world! Welcome aboard the Lost Light!” Brainstorm announced with a flashy arm movement.

“Hey, I’m the captain, I get to welcome people into the ship!”

“You’re a captain?! Is this a pirate ship? Are you giant robot pirates?!” Luffy shouted in awe, though still in the arms of Sanji, who promptly dropped him.

“He said he was ‘Cybertronian’ bro. Not a robot.” The probably techno organic chastised.

“Psh, whatever.” Luffy got himself to his feet.

“We are not pirates.” Ultra Magnus said very sternly. “We are on a perfectly legal exploratory expedition.”

“Oh, bummer.” He glanced around once again. Apparently deciding now was a good time, he introduced himself. “My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I’m gonna be King of the Pirates!” Luffy smiled brightly and giggled, either ignoring or disregarding his friends facepalms.

“Well, I’d say this was a great success!” Brainstorm cheered to himself. “Who knew that was possible! I really am a genius.”

“And who are you?” ‘Moss head’ sneered at him. “Who are any of you? This is weird.”

“Well, if I’m allowed to introduce my own ship this time, my name is Rodimus Prime, captain of the Lost Light!”

“Hang on, this is your ship? How did you build something like this, it looks like it’s straight outta Vegapunk’s lab! What part of the world are we in anyway?” The blue hair techno organic asked, putting his oversized hand on his strangely shaped chin.

“Space, my friend. We’re in space. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if anything living would make it through that portal. Looks like it’s got about a 9 out of 10 survival rate which is better than most multidimensional portals I’ve seen. That is to say I’ve never seen one before, because I built the first one. Just now. No need to congratulate me.” Ignoring Brainstorm’s blatant narcissism, the of new arrivals looked absolutely flabbergasted by this information.

“We’re in space? Like, space space? Outer space?” Luffy asked with eyes wider than any moon, a big bright burning ball of excitement building in his chest.

“I assume you’ve never been off your planet before?” Perceptor asked. Luffy didn’t respond this time. He looked like he was about to burst with excitement, though his crew mates didn’t seem to pay much mind. One or two of them shook their heads in response to the question. “Well, Brainstorm, care to explain what you’ve done here?”

“What I’ve done- well, if you have the mental capacity to understand- I can give you a basic rundown. I’ve designed this portal to reach into alternate dimensions, which have hardly been confirmed to exist other than the dead universe. I’ve been worked steadily on it for a while now, and today I tested it out. It brought these ten organics here as well as some other junk.”

“Brainstorm.”

“Yes?”

“You mean to tell me, you turned on an untested and extremely dangerous machine that could obliterate our entire existence within nanokliks for no reason other than bragging rights? And when it miraculously did work, you pulled in ten random people from an unknown possibly incredibly dangerous world that could have also imploded our entire existence?”

“Yes that about sums it up.” Perceptor’s optic twitched, but as it seemed time was moving a bit too fast for him to start lecturing. The corpse on the floor began to move, slowly at first, and then in a sharp practiced motion it popped up on its feet.

“Yohohoho! I think I passed out for a second there!” The skeleton looked around. “Oh. I definitely passed out. No bones about it!” The apparently not corse laughed to himself.

“Cool! I didn’t think those human stories about corpses coming back to life were real!” Rodimus said with a childlike playfulness.

“They’re not.” Ultra Magnus argued bluntly.

“Oh, I am a skeleton. It’s a long story. Say, Luffy, what is going on?”

“We got sucked through a portal and now we’re talking to giant robot guys.”

“Oh okay.” The skeleton nodded, and then quickly scurried to where three of the other humans (and animal thing?) were huddled.

“Well, remind me to change that to a 10 out of 10 survival rate!”

“I feel like introductions are in order here…” Perceptor stated, “I’ll go first. My name is Perceptor. I’m a scientist. Now, you.” He gestured at Brainstorm.

“Well, if you insist. I am Brainstrom. Genius inventor of the machine that brought you all here.”

“I am the duly enfor- ah, I mean Ultra Magnus. I try to keep the peace around here.”

“You know me, I’m Rodimus.” He nudged Ratchet. “It’s your turn, doc.”

“Fine. I’m Ratchet. Retired head medical officer.��

“Cool names!” Luffy, having sprung back up, was jumping up and down. “This is my crew, the Strawhat Pirates!”

“Roronoa Zoro. Soon to be greatest swordsman and second hand man.” ‘Moss head’ introduced himself. The orange hair girl stepped out of the group.

“I’m Nami, the navigator.” The long nose man shakily emerged after her.

“I am commander Usopp! Best sniper in the world! I’m also the leader of one thousa-“

“Don’t even start.” The suit wearing man stepped up. “Sanji. I’m the crew’s chef.” The animal like thing approached from behind another crew member.

“Um, my name’s Chopper. I’m the doctor.” He tapped his hooves together nervously. A woman, one who hasn’t said much until now, patted the hat on his head in a compassionate manner.

“I’m Nico Robin, an archeologist.” She smiled sweetly and quickly got out of the way of the blue haired inhuman human man rushing to the front.

“Name’s Franky!” He struck a strange pose. “A SUPER good shipwright!” The skeleton stepped up beside him and did a short bow.

“My name is Brook. I am lucky to be the musician of this crew. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” When he stood up the large blue man stood beside him.

“I am Jinbe, the helmsman. It is a pleasure to meet you as well.” He bowed deeply.

“Now that we did that, do you guys have any food?” Luffy asked immediately and without hesitation.

The fifteen of them stood in Brainstorm’s mildly disfigured lab space, each with very different thoughts running through their heads. A new world, a new people, things most on the Lost Light never even imagined possible. From then on, the world got a little more chaotic.

[sparky-is-spiders]

We talked about making it

I'm sorry that you never made it

And it pains me just to hear you have to say it

You knew the game and played it

It kills to know that you have been defeated

I see the wires pulling while you're breathing

You knew you had a reason

It killed you like diseases

I can hear it in your voice while your speaking you can't be treated

Mr. Know-it-all had his reign and his fall

At least that's what his brain is telling all

If he said help me kill the president

I'd say he needs medicine

Sick of screaming let us in

The wires got the best of him

All that he invested in goes

Straight to hell

Straight to hell

Wires - The Neighbourhood

(Obligatory no j//mart or martin in reblogs or comments please)

[in1-nutshell]

Could we get Fearless getting dropped into TFA? I would love to see how they react to the small Autobots and giant Decepticons, especially to how different otherwise familiar bots would be!

I’m hoping to see Transformers One this weekend, your positive review made me that much more excited!

I'm surprised I haven't sent Fearless to TFA yet. Well, better late than never!

Hope you enjoy!

Fearless meets Team Prime

SFW, Platonic, Human Reader

TFA/MTMTE

A portal opens in the middle of the Plant.

The bots are ready to attack anyone who comes through.

Surprised when it’s a human.

Fearless brushes off the dirt and looks around taking a double take.

Fearless waves at them. They wave back confused. Fearless looks around. Fearless: “This is defiantly a new one I’ll say.” Optimus: “New what? And Who are you?” Fearless jumps a bit. Fearless: “That voice is going to take time to get used to. ANYWAYS, the name’s Fearless and I’m from another dimension.” Team Prime: “What?!” Bulkhead: “Human’s haven’t made that much advancements on teleportation yet.” Prowl: “And how do we know if you’re lying?” Fearless: “… I literally came from a portal and you’re questioning if I’m lying? Who are you Prowl?” Prowl: “How do you know my name?” Fearless: “…Sweet Solus Prime, YOU’RE PROWL?!”

After the initial freakout of names and explanation of how the portal’s worked, Optimus welcome’s Fearless to the Plant for the time being.

Both parties are curious about each other’s universes and both share facts about them.

Fearless learned from last time that too much info-dumping was bad for the head or helm.

Fearless: “So, your war is over?” Optimus: “Yes and no. Megatron and a small group of Decepticon’s are stuck here on Earth with us. The Decepticon’s mainly dispersed after the Great War and Ultra Magnus’s decree.” Fearless: “Ultra Magnus?” Bumblebee: “Yeah he’s the leader of Cybertron.” Fearless laughs a bit. Fearless: “Hahaha… oh, you’re not joking. Man, My Magnus would have a panic attack if he found out he was suddenly in charge of a whole planet.” Ratchet raises his optic. Ratchet: “Magnus? You mean Ultra Magnus?” Fearless: “Nah, just call him Magnus or Minimus, depends on the day. But if Magnus is leader of Cybertron, then who are you leading Prime?” Optimus: “Just my team.” Fearless: “The Autobot’s right.” Optimus: “No, just this team the 4 of us.” Sari: “Hmm.” Optimus: “5 of us.” Fearless: “What?! But how?” Ratchet: “We’re just a space bridge repair crew kid.” Fearless: “…Say sike.” Optimus: “What?” Fearless: " Say sike right now…”

Fearless nearly has a nervous breakdown realizing part of the situation these bots were in.

Thankfully they had weapons.

…Right?”

Fearless, for once, is begging for that portal to come and spit someone, ANYONE from the Lost Light to help them.

After the internal breakdown Fearless is Ready.

Fearless staring down Team Prime. Fearless: “I will do whatever it takes to protect you all.” Bulkhead patting Fearless head. Bulkhead: “That’s nice.” Sari whispering at Bumblebee and Optimus. Sari: “They don’t literally mean it right?” Bumblebee: “Of course not.” Optimus: “I don’t think they mean it in a literal sense Sari.” Prowl and Ratchet just look at each other and brush it off. Of course they didn’t literally mean it… Later that week… Starscream hovering near some buildings with his blasters pointed down at the bots. Starscream: “Now it is time for you all to feel the wrath of—” Fearless flinging themselves off a nearby rooftop. Fearless: “GERNONIMO!!!!” Fearless lands on the Seeker’s faceplate. Starscream: “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF ME!!” Fearless: “I’ve heard other Starscream’s shriek louder than that!” Starscream starts flailing around with Fearless still having a death grip on him. Starscream: “GET IT OFF!!!!” Team Prime just stares in horror. Bumblebee: “So that why their called Fearless.”

The bots now take whatever Fearless says seriously now.

Ratchet has also threatened to tape them to the wall.

He becomes increasingly concern when Fearless tells him that ‘that’ hasn’t stopped them before.

Fearless loves telling the team about stories that have happened on the Lost Light… as soon as they manage to tell them that Megatron is a good bot in their universe after the surrender.

Speaking of Megatron, Fearless does ask a lot of questions about him and the other Cons.

They don’t know why Fearless looks a bit sad.

Fearless is protective of this team but also wants to get to know them one-on-one.

From walking in the park with Prowl.

To painting with Bulkhead.

To cleaning up messes with Ratchet.

To watching movies with Bumblebee.

Surprising enough, Optimus is the bot that Fearless feels like they need to protect more than the others.

…It may or may not have stemmed from the incident on Archna 7…

Optimus does feel a bit touched that this human, a complete stranger cares so deeply about him like that.

Then the Elite Guard shows up.

Fearless looks at The Guard standing next to Sari. Sentinel gives them the stick eye. Sentinel: “What you looking at human? Surprised to see a real mech here?” He puffs his shoulders in emphasis. Fearless: “Umm, Optimus is behind me?” The mech sputters a bit while some of Team Prime try to contain their giggles. Sentinel: “You wouldn’t know a trashbot from—” Fearless: “I’m gonna stop you right there Chin’s.” They look up at Ultra Magnus. Fearless: “Huh, figured you’d be taller.” Optimus already feeling a migraine coming: “Fearless…” Sentinel: “How dare you say that to Ultra Magnus! You should be on your knees begging that he doesn’t squish you. He has order over all of you right now.” Fearless: “Not My Magnus… I didn’t get your name.” Sentinel: “The names Sentinel Prime.” Fearless eye twitched but before they could do anything, Optimus scooped them up and held them tightly to his chassis. The Elite Guard and his team looked at him confused. Optimus: “Trust me, I’m doing everyone a favor…” Flashback to Optimus telling Fearless about Sentinel and Elita… Fearless places a sympathetic hand on his servo. Fearless: “You know it wasn’t entirely your fault, right?” Optimus sighs. Fearless chuckles humorlessly. Fearless: “You Prime’s always beat yourselves up badly. But on a serious note…” Fearless gave him a serious look. Fearless: “If I see Sentinel, it will be on sight.” Optimus looks at them confused. Optimus: “On sight—wait isn’t that what you said when we told you about Starscream?” Fearless just smirks and walks off. Optimus thinks for a second before coming the horrible realization. Optimus: “Oh no…”

Fearless gets along with most of the Guard.

Jazz is their favorite besides Blurr.

The Jettwins would have taken that place, but they threw them up too high and ended up getting stuck on a rusty vent covering.

Fearless avoids this Magnus… something just seemed off about him…

Fearless was not allowed anywhere near sentinel without Optimus being around.

Last time they were with Bumblebee and… things didn’t go too well…

Optimus was driving around with Prowl and Jazz. PING! Optimus had received a message from… Sentinel? Optimus: “Sent—” Sentinel: “GET YOUR FILTHY ORGANIC OPTIMUS! ITS TRYING TO BITE ME!” Bumblebee in the background: “They don’t bite!” Sentinel: “YES THEY DO!”

Soon its time for Fearless to say goodbye to Team Prime.

Fearless promises that when they do eventually come back to bring someone with them to help with the Cons.

It isn’t until Fearless is gone that they realize that they said ‘when’ and not ‘if’.

In the Lost Light… Fearless lands on the bar counter at Swerve’s. Trailcutter: “SWEET PRIMUS!” He jumps out of his seat in surprise. Swerve just smiles at the disheveled human. Swerve: “Came back from another dimensional hop?” Fearless: “Yep.” Swerve: “Can’t wait to hear all about it.” Fearless nods. Fearless: “But first, get me a bottle of my favorite drink… this one was rough.” Swerve winces a bit. Swerve: “That bad? How about telling me one thing that went well or some sort of highlight out of the whole trip?” Fearless without missing a beat: “I bit Sentinel Prime.” Swerve: “WHAT!?” Fearless: “And I’d do it again!”

[knight-says-rollout]

Would you mind telling us about more disabled Cybertronians?

Oh boy would I

For this list let’s focus on physical disabilities, both because they’re the most commonly dismissed by the fandom and bc if we try to cover everything we’d be here all day (that can be another list, maybe, if y’all want)

This isn’t going to be comprehensive bc I’m tired but!! I will aim for a broad variety of examples nonetheless

Bumblebee - You all know him, you all love him. He’s the most obvious and most well known example of a disabled Cybertronian character.

In many iterations he is mute

Not by choice but because he lacks a voice box. Bee physically isn’t capable of speech and depending on the version has different tools to work around that. Sometimes he uses his radio to repurpose song and radio dialogue into speech, in cyberverse he also makes use of the internet for clips. In the aligned continuity (tfp and connected media) he speaks in binary, a very simplified form of language using beeps and buzzes, but still lacks a real voice and can’t form words.

In IDW he has a cane

At one point in the comics Bumblebee was shot by a human protester and as a result used a cane for a good bit of time. I haven’t had the chance to read that far into IDW yet so I’m not sure how long he had the cane for but it was enough time that it’s a solidified part of the charcaters history. I’ve seen little models of the cane for sale, to be paired with bee figures.

TFP Ultra Magnus - everyone’s favorite awkward commander, despite his popularity he’s surprisingly overlooked when it comes to this discussion

An amputee, he lost his hand

During an energon raid with wheeljack, magnus’ hand was crushed. Ratchet couldn’t save it and had to amputate, replacing it with a hooked prosthetic. I call it a prosthetic rather than replacement part because despite him being able to move it, it’s not a hand. Not in the way he had previously, and he has to relearn how to use it at all.

I think that’s an important distinction to make when discussing disability and transformers. Some bots might have only ever had one hand, or no legs, or etc but that’s always been their level of ability and since they Are robotic. Yeah they might not have the same capabilities as another bot but that’s a hard metric to go by. Seekers can fly but a grounder isn’t disabled because they can’t fly too, it’s a different standard.

WFC Shamble - far lesser known than Magnus, and reasonably so, this background character is Also missing a limb

Amputee, leg edition

His prosthetic is a lot less fancy than magnus’s, it’s a simple peg leg. Put em together and you get a pirate. Not much to say about him since i don’t know how he lost the leg, just that he did.

Shadow Striker - Most awesome lady in cyberverse. Unlike the above two, she Was able to get actual replacement parts rather than prosthetics. Despite this, she is both shown throughout the show and implied to have

Impaired mobility

Chronic pain

She was able to get replacement parts yes but they were needed because she was blown up. The limbs she was given were kinda just what the others could Find and as such are mismatched and don’t fit her very well. Her motor skills took a blow especially when it comes to combat, something she used to excel in. Her new limbs are described as unstable and prone to malfunction. The loss of mobility and implied chronic pain that come along with her situation are rough, but she makes do.

SG Soundwave - my favorite little guy, he’s in a bit of a different situation than the previous.

Bad Joints ™

His body was entirely overhauled multiple times, successfully, but the latest frame change was done with conflicting metals. Earth and Cybertronian materials clash in his joints, making them prone to getting stopped up. The most affected hinge being the one on the door to his tape deck. It is so prone to getting stuck that his cassettes refuse to dock with him at risk of getting trapped. To work around this, Soundwave has the aid of a personalized case he carries around that they dock in instead.

IDW Sunstreaker - speaking of assistive devices, this guy was (for a time) a wheelchair user! Or,, hoverchair.

Temporary,,, paraplegic? Correct me if another term fits better

Taking this moment for an aside to say hey!! Lookit that, both canes and hoverchairs are things that canonically and casually exist on cybertron!! It’s not too wild to assume there are bots out there who use them long term!! Yes both characters on this list were repaired eventually but they’re also both very popular old characters from an action based franchise and hasbro doesn’t have the balls to make something like that permanent yet. We the fandom are not hasbro. We can do whatever we damn want with our OCs. It’s canon that ur little guy can use mobility aids.

Ok, PSA over, anyway yeah Sunny’s body was basically wrecked and alpha trion was able to repair all of him except his legs. This put him in a hoverchair for a good amount of time.

Finback - he’s a con, a pirate, who developed a “metal wasting disease”

He’s on permanent life support

The disease is going to kill him eventually, and it’s explicitly stated that he’s come to terms with the idea of his death. In the meantime he’s using pretender tech, kinda like fancy armor, to reinforce himself and boost his immune system

Perceptor - for a microscope, the fact he’s got vision issues in multiple continuities is kinda ironic

He’s fully blind in cyberverse

He lost an eye in IDW

Between the two we get to see both routes taken to work with this. Adaption and technological aid. In cyberverse he uses his scope to compensate for the loss of vision Toph-style. In IDW he built himself a monocle that basically replaces the pieces that are missing.

Now we get into the uniquely Cybertronian disabilities, one’s that don’t quite translate to human conditions

Transmutate - is a beloved bot from beast wars

They can’t transform, they don’t have an alt mode

I’m hazy on the details of their character but afaik they came from a damaged stasis pod. Described as deformed and handicapped for their both their lack of an alt mode and general appearance, they are probably the oldest explicitly disabled Cybertronian character

Xaaron - from G1 is in a similar situation

He can’t transform, it would kill him

Unlike transmutate he does have an alt mode, a tank, but after thousands of years without transforming he is no longer able to. The new stress it would cause on his body would kill him.

Broadside - continuing with the subject of alt modes, this clumsy boy is a boat! That’s not a good thing.

He’s very prone to motion sickness

As you can imagine, chronic sea sickness isn’t the most helpful thing when you are the boat. This brings in the entirely new element of mobility issues that are inherent to alt modes. A bot that functions fine in root form might not in alt mode and vice versa.

Trailbreaker - is another instance of this. He’s not a fast car by any means but that doesn’t stop the fact

His frame has a very high energon cost

Possibly the least fuel efficient autobot, he’s got an outlier ability on top of it all that only further increases his required energon intake. He needs to pay more attention to his energon levels and refuel more often overall.

G1 Knockout - yes that’s right the shiny medic himself is on this list, though not for the same reason as his tfp version, g1 knockout still lives up to his name

He’s prone to fainting

A knockout in the more literal sense, he faints when he gets too excited. Fully collapses and everything. Since he’s a fall risk, his teammates take care to keep an eye on him.

Annnnd Yknow he probably should’ve been earlier in the list along with the “human-ish” issues but I’m tired, it’s late, and I’m bringing this list to a close

Im sure there are more characters that I didn’t mention but I hope this helped! Thank you for the ask

[lets-try-some-writing]

Not only fauna screwing with them but being screwed over by it.. Moose for example. KnockOut (ratchet maybe his team too) probably had vehicons to patch up that ran into mooses and it's not like theyre gonna admit they almost died because of earth mammal

All the Cybertronians on Earth have problems with the fauna. Ratchet has a personal vendetta against deer since he runs into them frequently enough to despise the stupid things. He has run over one and he complained about it for a month afterwards when he couldn't get part of the gore out of his wheels. Optimus has a vicious and very much unspoken hatred of squirrels. He will tolerate them, but after they got into his passenger seat one time while he was recharging in alt-mode... he now detests them and lives with the haunting sound of his passenger seat being torn up.

Bumblebee has regular problems with the dogs in Jasper. There is no solid reason for it, but perhaps they sense what he is. Whatever the case, they can and will chase him all over the face of creation whenever he drive through and it has led to an overall avoidance of all dogs ever. Arcee has personal beef with the loyal crows since they have learned to pick her out and know that Jack tends to have food. Jack always feeds them while leaning against Arcee, and this in turn means that when the crows see her, they assume its feeding time. She hates it.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack have never run into anything too bad (surprisingly). However there was a singular time when they met a bear on the road and that moment scarred them forever mentally. The bear knew no fear, and not wanting to kill it, Bulkhead and Wheeljack attempted to drive off. But of course the bear sprinted, and neither were aware creatures that big can go so fragging FAST. It haunts them sometimes. Smokescreen has a problem with fish. Why? He fell in a lake and one ended up trapped in his plating for a day. He hated feeling the slimy thing so close to him and has since avoided lakes like the plague. Ultra Magnus, for all his issues, has thus far had no issues with animals.

Knockout ran into a moose with Breakdown once. The monster rammed right into Breakdown and knocked him around. The fact that the moose managed it at all has since left the duo with the firm belief that it is not worth the effort to drive in moose territory. Starscream will forever have problems with birds, but gulls in particular. He hates them with a seething passion and they seem to share the sentiment. Megatron hates organic life, period. But one creature in particular happens to be magpies. He went to the wrong place at the wrong time and got swooped and he has never forgotten it. Soundwave actually likes the wildlife a great deal, but he has had problems with on particular tiger that decided Soundwave was a kill on sight target whenever he turned up.

[rowanmutt-afterdark]

Kinktober Day 4: Public Sex/Under the Table | IDW Rodimus Prime

Kinktober Day 4: Public Sex/Under the Table

IDW Rodimus Prime X GN Bot! Reader

Rodimus was struggling, hard. He was trying to not twitch or make any noises as he held his glass of high-grade in his servo. His hold was loose and the mech's whole servo was trembling as he sat with his optics staring straight ahead. His leg bounced frantically as he swallowed another moan that bubbled within his throat.

He was so preoccupied he didn't notice someone approach until they were right beside him. Ultra Magnus clears his throat making the mech jump jerking his knee up, hitting the table. His faceplate heats up as Magnus gives him a concerned look as the mech fidgets in his seat at the booth. The booth across from him empty, usually Rodimus' partner would sit across from him. It was odd to not see the bot there.

"Is everything ok, Rodimus? You seem off." The mech takes a seat from across the Prime making his field flare with panic as the mechs long leg struts go under the table as he seats himself. "Did you and Y/n have a fight again?" He knew that the two had really bad disagreements every now and then, and usually Rodimus would come here to drink or sit alone to think.

"N-No!" He winced at his loud exclamation, he was struggling to keep his composure as the building charge in his abdomen made it hard to think clearly. "No, I assure you that Y/n and I are o-ok." He leans forward, acting like he was slumping forward as he curls against the table as the heat building up grew and grew. His denta grinds together as the slick orifice around his spike bobbed up and down at a pace that had him melting.

He was getting close, he was so horrified that his co-worker and friend was just across from him as his charge built up and up an up, until he felt it snap. "Mnhaaah! Gahhh!"

He was not expecting the coil to burst until he was pumping his transfluid into the slick, warm cavern that covered his spike. He's moaning and grinding into the hole as he pumps each spurt into the welcoming heat. The swallow around him eagerly as he huffs and pants until he can finally think clearly. His hazy optics glance up to see Magnus staring at him in horror. He had a slight flush of color across his cheeks but the mechs faceplates had an expression of horror.

"E-Excuse me." He is quick to get up and leave, refusing to look back as the Prime covers his face in embarrassment. Shortly after the larger mech left, you pop up from beneath the table. Pulling yourself back into your seat across from your conjunx. A cocky and satisfied smirk blossomed as you saw his look, you reach over and take his free servo and squeeze it.

"He saw!" Rodimus says with a whine, he can't believe he let you convince him to do this. "Mags saw us!" You merely giggle at him as you reach up with your free servo to wipe away the transfluid smeared across your lips. You lick the spilt fluid from his spike and hum at the sweet taste of it.

"Nah, he couldn't have seen. I doubt he knows." Yeah, no. That mech definitely knew. What Rodimus didn't realize that as he overloaded into your intake, he was fairly loud. Several bots turned to look at the two of them, confused and concerned.

At some point, you had felt optics on the back of your helm. You had glanced behind you to see Magnus staring at you with horror. It was rather hilarious to see the mech look so uncomfortable and embarassed. You loved blowing Rodimus in risky places. Having someone possible seeing the both of you while mid-frag has always excited you.

"Shall we go frag in your office next time?" You suggest. The mech squawks loudly in reply.

"NO!"

You'd be able to convince him sooner or later, You always did.

[blueikeproductions]

Sentinel Prime also has an interesting conceptual history.

Also interesting is how he managed to be the main villain of two movies in the film series.

His origins lie in the Marvel comics, simply being the name of the guy who was in charge before Optimus, when the comics took the lead set by Rodimus in the original movie, and started setting up a proto-Prime lineage.

For the most part, Sentinel remained a comics only character, as the 80’s cartoon never had a Sentinel, instead using its own lineage consisting of various nameless generics.

Though modern material has retroactively declared this fella is the cartoon Sentinel.

Sadly this design and his rad space rhino truck mode has yet to be immortalized in toy form.

Sentinel’s personality didn’t start getting fleshed out until the Dreamwave era, where most material painted him as powerful, kind and a revered figure among the Autobots. Like Rodimus in the cartoon, Optimus felt inadequate stepping into the role Sentinel left behind.

Sentinel’s more pompous arrogance didn’t become common place until Animated’s version.

Originally more of a goofy friendly jock in his boot camp days, but after a falling out with Optimus during an off the books trip for treasure hunting that saw Elita lost and Optimus take responsibility for Sentinel’s stupidity, the big chinned bot became more entitled and bullheaded, unwilling to accept his own mistakes to look bad in front of Ultra Magnus. Developing a phobia of organics from the giant spider aliens, Sentinel isn’t exactly a people person, not winning over the citizens of Detroit like Optimus did during his time in Earth. This Sentinel would get increasingly desperate trying to make himself look better over Optimus who had won over Ultra Magnus, but usually this wound up backfiring for him like when the Headmaster cut his head off and took over his body. Sentinel got a bit lucky when Shockwave attacked Ultra Magnus, allowing Sentinel to become acting Magnus to lead Cybertron. This saw strict curfews and fear mongering propaganda, mostly about organics and Decepticons to Ratchet and Alpha Trion’s annoyance. In Sentinel’s brashness, he almost unwittingly destroyed Cybertron when attempting to shoot down an unstable Omega Supreme controlled by Megatron, leaking Transwarp energy that’d fry the planet if attacked. When Optimus’ crew came back to Cybertron with Megatron, the missing Protoforms, the Allspark and Omega Supreme they were regarded as heroes, but Sentinel wasn’t impressed, doubling down on how HE was Magnus over Optimus. In the semi but not totally official Trial of Megatron script reading years after the finale though, a dying Ultra Magnus officially appointed Optimus as the true Magnus, which only made Sentinel more desperate, getting fooled by Megatron into being put on a trial that ultimately ended in the Decepticon’s favor.

While a blowhard from top to bottom, TFA Sentinel was still trying to do what he felt was right to protect Cybertron, something that would influence his movie counterparts.

Pry the most well known version besides Animated Sentinel, the DotM version was initially a mix of his Dreamwave version and Star Trek Spock (cuz he’s voiced by Leonard Nimoy).

The IDW movie comics fill in some extra gaps, as Sentinel was a direct descendant of the Primes, and supposedly the last. Leading Cybertron into a prosperous age alongside his “sons” Optimus and Megatron.

Sentinel also fixed an issue that was never fully resolved from ROTF, where special technology was developed with Wheeljack in order to tether a sun to Cybertron, re-energizing the Allspark without needing to destroy it, and powering the planet. Turns out solar power was the answer still, the original Primes just… misunderstood it. The seeds of the eventual Great War were planted however when Megatron overheard Sentinel and Optimus talking, and grew jealous, as Sentinel revealed to Optimus he too was a descendant of the Primes, and is set to take over when Sentinel steps down.

Although it seemed Sentinel had died when the Ark seemingly exploded, he survived and his ship crashed on the Moon of Earth, kick starting the movie. While the Autobots were thrilled to see their old leader back, hoping the tech the Ark held could stop the war, their joy turned to horror when Sentinel Prime revealed he intended to bleed Earth dry, having made a pact with Megatron to save Cybertron in this way. The comics fill in the gaps by better tying it with RotF, where Sentinel and Megatron’s interests aligned, and they decided to go to Earth, the site of the final Star Harvester to complete The Fallen’s goals to save Cybertron.

DotM Sentinel was a noble being and a strong patriot of Cybertron. Like TFA Sentinel, he did what he felt was right, but unlike TFA Sentinel, he employed a form of tough love towards the end, realizing Optimus didn’t have the ball bearings to do what was necessary to win the war. Only too late did Sentinel realize Optimus actually DID when the Prime was pushed too far and shot his former teacher and beheaded his opportunistic brother.

Sentinel falls further in IDW, where due to a lot of retcons and current political events at the time, the orange and red IDW Sentinel Prime was the first instance of a false Prime. Originally an opportunistic Titan Master called Infinitus, he served the ancient Primes and vowed to keep their teachings alive: by keeping the weak in their place with the “good” insuring it. He took on the alias Sentinel and slowly rose to Prime rank, ensuring Cybertron kept its suffocating limitations like the Clampdown and Functionism in place. After being beaten by Megatron, and left for dead, Infinitus merely abandoned his old Transtector in secret (leading the Autobots to be confused how Sentinel was beheaded), and sought to build a new one to continue his plans. Disgusted at post war Cybertron, where the Transformers were slowly unifying with each other and the “disgusting” Colonists and aliens, Sentinel decided to make Cybertron great again by tearing it all down using the power of the Metrotitans. This didn’t go as intended and saw Sentinel die for good, but it did indirectly see the release of Liege Maximo Prime, who had been sealed away in his own MetroTitan that was needed to stop the lobotomized Citybots that Sentinel managed to send to Cybertron.

There was a brief reprieve in IDW’s poorly received reboot, where its Sentinel returned to the just but firm DOTM Sentinel prewar, with the impatience and boldness of TFA Sentinel. This Sentinel wasn’t a racist nitwit, as he led a cultural potluck on Cybertron consisting of other colonists both Transformer and organic aliens. Optimus worked as a political aide alongside Sentinel, and ultimately inherited the Matrix when the big guy was killed by the Rainmaker Decepticons.

Aligned Sentinel is a bit of a mess, because he was originally called Zeta Prime, but they wound up trying to have it both ways calling him Sentinel Zeta, with his younger self looking like TFA Sentinel, but his WFC design being completely unrelated. I’m saving him for Zeta Prime’s entry, but the main thing inherited from this version was being installed as a Prime by the Quintessons.

But now via, TFONE, Sentinel has fully embraced his villainous heritage. A blend of all the major Sentinels, DOTM and TFA visually and IDW personality wise, he inherits his Prime role from the Quints like Aligned. The main difference is Aligned Sentinel Zeta wised up and chased off the Quintessons, TFONE Sentinel sought to bargain with them for personal gain.

A former aide to the Primes similar to IDW, he instead grew jealous of their glory and power, wanting it for himself. He got his wish when the Quintessons invaded, secretly working for them to destroy the Primes and steal the Matrix. Once the deed was done, Sentinel instead took Megatronus’ T-Cog as a trophy as the Matrix spirited itself away from the unworthy blowhard. Creating an elaborate lie to the clueless populace, Sentinel painted himself as a hero who chased off the Quints and ushered in a new era for Cybertron, creating a new generation of diligent (Cogless) wokers to mine Energon, while he “led” expeditions to find the Matrix that was “lost” in the fight. In truth, he was paying off the Quintessons in Energon, though even Sentinel was forced to admit the arrangement was barely leaving the Transformers with anything.

His downfall came when the main heroes witnessed his dirty dealings, and heard the truth from a still alive Alpha Trion, with D-16 out for mech fluid. While Orion succeeded in showing the populace the lies Sentinel told Cybertron, that wasn’t enough for D-16, who first hand witnessed Sentinel’s mask coming off, his true cruel nature exposed at last. Sentinel was perfectly content in wanting to murder the rebellious High Guard and naughty Miners that fell out of line, wanting to use them as an example by massaging the truth. After all, the truth on Cybertron has always been what Sentinel wanted it to be.

While Orion didn’t want a murder (I assume Orion figured Sentinel would just be thrown in jail while Cybertron restructured itself), and took a shot for Sentinel, it was all for naught, as D-16 killed Sentinel anyway, and took back Meg Prime’s Cog, installing it in himself to fully evolve into Megatron.

TFONE Sentinel took the worst traits of his predecessors, becoming the embodiment of what a truly bad Prime looks like. Notably, Sentinel’s actions absolve Megatronus and Liege Maximo of their own counterparts’ misdeeds, putting all of Cybertron’s problems on Sentinel Prime only (barring any retcons in future sequels). Depending on what future stuff may do, perhaps Sentinel Prime is now the defacto bad Prime over Megs and Liege. What Sentinel Prime Transforms into varies, though with the inclusion of the cartoon “U-Haul Robot”, he tends to be a truck to mirror Optimus, but the truck differs depending on the character.

Hilariously, a new 40th anniversary Missing Link toy repaints the old Optimus toy into G1 Marvel Sentinel.

The modern G1 & TFONE Sentinel are the only deviations, opting for planes, and a space train that’s never really used.

Given the series’ habit of making most flyers villains, and ONE Sentinel’s quite literally being above the miners, maybe future versions of Sentinel will be arrogant jets instead.

[mychlapci]

Centaur Roddy is sooooo mad >:[ They drag him kicking and screaming back to his stable. The main farmhand who usually cares for him is trying their best to calm him, shushing him and trying to gently stroke his helm and his backplates as he struggles. They didn't want to have to do this but who asked Roddy to be such a naughty boy :<

Magnus goes with his handlers quietly, already awash with shame for even considering letting that happen. He knows he's not supposed to engage in... in...... inappropriate behaviour. But it does upset him to hear Rodimus' shouts and angry snorts as he's dragged away. He dares to turn his helm just to have a look, Rodimus still kicking and squirming as he's pulled along, spike still fully pressurised and leaking- Rodimus had been so excited that he had already almost- The farmhand guiding him clicks at him and Magnus is snapped out of his thoughts, turning his optics away and quietly makes his way back to his stable.

He would usually hate his frame to be dirty in any way, always glad to be washed down and maybe even have his plating scrubbed by the farmhands, but he's almost disappointed this time. There's a distinct pang of loss when they hose him down from behind, washing what's left of his and Rodimus' lubricant from his aft and hind legs. Immediately following the pang is a crashing wave of embarrassment. As he's quickly dried off, he's left to stew in his shame of almost wanting to remain sticky and disgusting just because of that arrogant racehorse.

Magnus is very quiet the next few days. Rodimus, on the other hand, is behaving like an absolute pit spawn. He's always been a little naughty, a little cheeky, somewhat hard to handle for newer staff. But now he's just being a pain. The walls of his stable are covered with dents, kicked in with his strong hooves. He rears up at anyone who tries to approach him, threatening to bite or kick unless they're there specifically to lead him out of his stables.

It really is a shame when they have to muzzle the racehorse and even chain his legs. The chains are long enough to allow him no resistance when walking, but it would make it impossible for him to kick. The stress induced by having to pin the large creature down and click all the restraints on is never a good thing. Not to mention how stubborn of a centaur Roddy is- he fought and snapped his denta and made them struggle to click every piece of equipment on him.

The staff really dont like restraining the horses. And it's especially bad to restrict the movement on a racehorse's legs. It's a huge risk of allowing their legs to grow weak and stiff.

....sadly, the restraints stay on as Rodimus' bad behaviour continues. Even when it comes time for him to be let out into the field, they keep him muzzled and chained out of safety concerns. Oh and it's a good thing they have him restrained when they try to lock his panels. The moment Rodimus feels the locking command slipping into his circuits via his medical port- Oh they have him snarling and bucking and attempting to kick so hard that he knocks himself off his hooves, landing on his side with angry pants slipping past his bared denta despite the pain.

Once outside, Rodimus gives his handlers one last snort before stomping off. The muzzle and clinking chains don't keep him from holding his helm high, daring any others to even begin to wonder why he was all chained up like that.

It takes him longer than usual, but he still finds Ultra Magnus, as he always does. Finally his sour mood is lifted and the spoiler on his back flicks in excitement as he trots over as quickly as he can in his chains. His greeting is a happy one, but Magnus returns one of concern.

The larger centaur is immediately by his side, grabbing him, feeling over him physically, checking him for injuries, asking him why he's been treated like this- That combination of feeling servos firmly touching him all over his frame and that edge of protectiveness he hears in Magnus' voice has Rodimus groaning and leaning as far against the other centaur as he can. His frame is already heating up as he whines and nuzzles against a rather stunned Magnus, just wanting to feel him as much as possible, wanting to feel more of him.

He whines for Magnus to just touch him. He's fine, he swears, he's not injured or anything. He just wants Magnus. The click of his panels trying to open is audible, immediately followed by Roddy's even more pathetic whine. His spike is already pressing so hard against his panels that it hurts and he's pretty sure he's going to feel his slick leaking down his legs soon, and yet there's nothing he can do about it.

It takes Magnus a little while to catch on, but his optics go wide when he finally realises Rodimus' panels are closed because they have to be, not because he's finally learnt some basic decency or restraint in the last few days. The last coherent though he registers is some kind of pity for Rodimus, and then rationalising that Rodimus deserved it for his rule-flouting behaviour. He's not quite sure how they then end up on the ground.

Rodimus, with his desperate whines and cries somehow must have coerced Magnus to lay down with him, Rodimus having awkwardly positioned himself to kind of lay himself over Magnus' hind thigh so he can grind his burning modesty panels against the larger frame. This is something Magnus would never allow- Something he would see as indecent or pathetic- but he can't tear his optics off the panting racehorse, shakily rutting his still-closed panels whilst his servos prop him up on Magnus' flank.

"Magnus... Mags..! Please, I can't-" Rodimus' voice quivers as solvent wells up in his optics. He looks at Magnus with such desperation and such a pleading look, Magnus' thigh already wet and sticky with leaked lubricant and yet Rodimus still grinds against him uselessly.

Magnus realises it far too late. The sound of his own panels clicking open and the immense feeling of relief as his spike pressurises between his legs and the cooler ambient air hits his sopping wet valve. The wave of mortification that crashes over him next is immediate, even the idea that he would ever let his control slip like that- for him to expose himself unconsciously-

But those thoughts are useless and forgotten when Rodimus also hears the telltale click, quickly looking down, and then lets out the most wanton moan from deep within his vocaliser as he realises what he's looking at. Just the sight of Magnus' exposed spike and lubricant dripping out of him is so much for little Rodimus. Just the sight has him thrusting his hips a few more times before he finally hits an overload, charge crackling over his overheated frame as he keens and spills transfluid all over the inside of his panels.

Magnus has never been so aroused in his life. As Rodimus finally slumps against his flank, he feels his spike and valve twitch. For Rodimus to overload from just looking at him-

He barely has the time to process this before Rodimus is looking at him with a lazy smile, his servos now wandering and petting along Magnus' underbelly until they find his spike, forcing a surprised gasp from the larger frame. He tries so hard to keep himself quiet, tries to look away, as those warm servos begin to stroke him, up and down... He can feel how much smaller Rodimus' servos are than his, one servo not enough to even fully encircle his pressurised spike-

Thankfully- Magnus convinces himself it is in fact a thankfully- the handlers find them before they can finish this. Rodimus is pulled off him, whining and attempting to kick again, but at least this time he's had his overload and is a little wobblier, his legs also sore from the chains digging into his plating. Magnus is, shamefully, instructed back onto his hooves, his array still wet and exposed.

The farmhands dont even wait to bring him back to the stables to wash him. They are immediately wiping him down and splashing him with some solvent and water, washing all of Rodimus' leaked fluids off him, making especially sure to clean up around his valve.

Once they deem him clean enough, one farmhand taps him above his valve and he obediently slides his valve panel shut. A gentle servo is then on his aching spike, carefully but still forcefully pushing it back into its housing. Magnus does his best to stifle a low groan. He hates how it feels, but the discomfort is preferable to being walked back to his stable with his spike left hanging out for all to see.

(gawsh my liege this ended up being 1.5k words we should just publish horny centaurformers fanfic at this point)

oh poor Rodimus...

hrghh… i wasn't lying about loving dry humping. Rodimus is so desperate with his spike locked up, he needs to overload to badly and this time around, Magnus lets him… His own array is burning hot, he's so embarrassed when his panels pop open, but seeing Rodimus overload desperately all over him is almost worth the humiliation of being led out of the field with his spike swinging between his legs....

[cozzzynook]

Poor tfa Rodimus barely had a minute of screentime, but hey at least this means we get to add headcanons upon headcanons.

Like the reason why Roddy would be part of the Elite Guard.

One day when Sentinal is out of earshot and doing something ridiculous, probably offensive to earth culture, Rodimus says something that implies he questions the Magnus's decision right beside him. The team looks over in surorise, and Mag's just... sighs, before going over to Sentinel and telling him to cut it out.

I like the idea of tfa Ultra Magnus still caring about others, just bad at showing it and makes questionable decisions. So he has Roddy on the team because the kid has a lot of heart and isn't afraid to speak up when others cannot. Still has a bit of heart over head tendencies though.

Jazz is great, but I'm pretty sure he has a habit of glossing over things.

Jazz keeps the peace but Rodimus says frag the peace which is exactly why Ultra Magnus always hears him out even if it becomes a lesson of control and thinking things through for Rodimus

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

rescue bots headcanons !!!

chase has very strong opinions on pretty much everything. anything from the best multiple of 12 to how ants work (his opinions on these two are 60 and "they are very civilized creatures when they are not stealing food")

heatwave needs the most fuel out of everyone because he's a quadruple changer, and because synthesizing water from the air is surprisingly exhausting

blades watches the most mature television out of all of the original four. he's the only one who's watched anything rated higher than pg-13

boulder does volunteer work at soup kitchens and homeless shelters on his off days

none of the og's speak neocybex because of the whole stasis thing

blades' medical knowledge is super outdated (again, stasis--most of the major medical breakthroughs came after they left)

the first time heatwave met wheeljack he tried to deck him. they did not get along (this surprised optimus bc he thought they were very similar and would therefore get along)

quickshadow is jazz and prowl's kid

hightide and optimus used to on and off date (both ratchet and megatronus hated hightide)

boulder reads such a wide variety of books that he sometimes forgets what a normal frame of mind is. like, he reads books for toddlers to classic literature to those books of facts about ancient history. there are a lot of books in the bunker.

salvage dropped out of engineering school and then got a job loading up transport ships. always sort of regretted it, but kept his loader job up until stasis

blurr and heatwave were both trained as professional pilots. blurr had the transport ship he and salvage worked on, and heatwave was/is the main pilot of the sigma

quickshadow was one of elita-one's team members until the squad was disbanded

hightide is a cityspeaker and his suit was a gift from a titan

boulder has minor claustrophobia. it normally isn't too bad, but part of the reason he loves nature and the outdoors is because he feels free/not restricted

all the original four rescue bots were dorm mates during their academy years

heatwave didn't even want to be team leader it just kinda happened because of his natural talent for leadership. the others elected him as their leader and he just went with it.

chase is a night owl and usually does most of his tasks at night. he likes the quiet and also that means during the day he can focus completely on rescues

blades gets "grounded" ridiculously often by dani. like, "no tv for a week" type grounding not "no flying." blades thought it was the second one and was thrilled, and then devastated when he learned what she actually meant.

boulder is a clean freak. not a germaphobe, but he needs everything to be tidy

blades bet heatwave that he wouldn't make a "deez nuts" joke to optimus. he lost that bet but it was so worth it for the pained look on optimus' face when heatwave did it

hightide REEKS of salt. it's constant and everyone hates it.

blurr and salvage were both neutrals before they became rescue bots, which is why they've never done combat

all the official rescue bots (everyone but blurr and salvage since they were trained later and never went to the academy) have an outlier because forged rescue bots are built that way

also all the official rescue bots can easily bench press optimus. like, one handed. they're all ridiculously strong (again, rescue bots are just built that way. super strength is very important)

heatwave is ultra magnus's and hot rod's/rodimus's kid (he was raised by them)

rescue bots (official ones, not blurr and salvage) are exclusively cold constructs. they have to be manufactured to achieve the abilities necessary for their line of work (super strength+speed, outliers, olfactory sensors, different optic types, ability to scan extra alt modes, etc.)

after rid2015 the bee team was trained by the rescue bots to become rescuers (this is canon)

at some point before rba heatwave sorta became everyone's boss. pretty much every cybertronian of significant influence listens to him or works for him. this happened in a similar way as how he became his team's leader (on accident and because he just naturally takes charge)

the original four rescue bots are ambassadors to earth and technically all have government jobs but they just also do other stuff (teachers at the academy, rescuers, god knows what else)

game night, movie night and karaoke night are sacred traditions to the team and are taken extremely seriously. hightide refused to look at salvage for a month over a game of scrabble. optimus and bumblebee have both been forced to join in multiple times.

way more but that's where imma stop this post for now

[weenwrites]

Cooking A Meal: Part 1

Summary - You ask one of the bots to cook you a meal, but honestly it goes about as well as you'd expect. Characters - Optimus, Ratchet, Ultra Magnus, Arcee, Cliffjumper, Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Smokescreen, Wheeljack Content - Crack Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

✎ A/N: This is an un-revised shitpost, not something too serious.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Optimus

He doesn't know anything about human cooking, but he tries for you. He's good at following a recipe, but he'll come to you every now and then to ask what something means or to have you try what he's made thus far and see if it's to your liking.

He tries making healthy meals that would cater to your tastes, and he's good at finding recipes for foods you definitely would like, it's just that when it comes to doing the actual cooking itself, it's executed rather poorly. He's not too bad, but honestly he might just under or overcook something and feed you some runny, rubbery scrambled eggs for example.

When it comes to presentation, he honestly doesn't do much in that area. He just puts the food on a plate or in a bowl and serves it to you with the appropriate eating utensil.

It may be a mediocre meal, but at the end of the day at least he cleans up after himself.

Ratchet

He's very precise with the measurements and he's an expert with a knife. Ratchet's real good at working with his hands, given his occupation as a doctor, and honestly he'd make a pretty good cook! That is, if he understood more about human cuisine...

He doesn't understand why some humans enjoy their eggs with runny yolks or some of their food to be under-cooked, and he doesn't want to give you salmonella or any other disease, so he'll end up overcooking the eggs. The same goes for any slab of meat you give him. Ask him to cook you a steak and he'll serve you what looks like a burnt block of leather that's so dry you can stand it up on it's side.

The presentation of the entire meal is plain and looks boring. He just serves everything to you separately in their own bowls or plates, and never on the same plate. But he says that the important thing is that you're eating something, not the way it's presented.

And at least he cleans up his own messes.

Ultra Magnus

He follows everything to a T. Each measurement he makes is precise, so he doesn't make too much or too little of anything. However, he'll make healthy meals for you to eat. A meal that has a bit of everything from the food triangle unless you're vegan or vegetarian. He'll refuse to make you anything unhealthy,

He even tries to present the food in a fancy-ish way! However, it's somewhat akin to being presented with a whole bunch of paperwork to fill out. The important stuff on the top (or in this case the healthiest stuff to eat) and the least important stuff on the bottom (the rest of the food). It may look a bit weird, and taste off, but... Eh, it's good enough.

Given his handicap and the fact he's still trying to regain full mobility with it, he may be a bit slow with things such as chopping up ingredients, seasoning meat, or any sort of thing that would be more efficient with 2 hands. Still, he's made a lot of progress, so much so that he appears to be doing things at a relatively normal pace.

And of course once he's done in the kitchen, he'll always dutifully clean up whatever dishes he used or messes he made without a single complaint.

Arcee

She sorta does better than everyone else here, but that's only because she insists that you tell her what to do and how to do it. She copies any examples you give her, and always looks to you for advice on how it should look, taste, smell, etc.. And she takes the entire "meal cooking" thing very seriously.

Though the meal may not be too delicious, the meal she makes you is very healthy and nutritious! She tries to include as many foods from the 5 different food groups as she can, and what she can't include she attempts to make up for by adding it as a side to the dish.

She's good at working with her hands, so she'd be quick at dicing vegetables with a knife. So preparing ingredients would be about a cinch. But along with being able to work quickly, she'd be good at handling things carefully. Like she'd be good at working with homemade pasta without ripping or tearing the dough, or pinching the edges of gyoza wrappers shut without puncturing holes in it.

The presentation itself is a bit lacking, but what matters is that most of the food on that plate is edible and very healthy for you! And she's the kind of person that insists that you finish everything on your plate, but not in any sort of forceful way. She'll just remind you to finish all your vegetables or something similar.

Cliffjumper

Similarly to literally everyone else on this list, he'd most likely overcook your food, but he still does a better job than most, but it depends on the meal. He's better at making soups than he would be at cooking meat. But he's a quick learner. He'd manage to closely copy whatever you'd show him about cooking.

He'd make quite a mess in the kitchen though. He'll accidentally knock the spatula off the cluttered counter as he reaches for something else, or he'll jokingly fling some flour at you in a playful manner. He even whole-heartedly thought that you could put the egg—shell and everything—in whatever it is you're making. He didn't think you needed to crack the shell because he once saw that humans could eat things with hard shells like snails or jawbreakers.

But when things start going awry, he'll come up with some unorthodox way to partly salvage the meal. Emphasis on partly salvage, because while it may be fixed, it now tastes off, or looks off, or smells off, but it's still edible. He knows nothing about presentation and honestly he just shovels whatever he's made you onto a plate and hands it over to you as is.

But even though the meal may be sub-par, it's hard to deny that it wasn't fun to make. That is unless you got upset at him for making a mess, in which that case he'll earnestly apologize and start scrubbing away at the mess.

Bulkhead

He lacks Ratchet's dexterity, so he's pretty sloppy with a knife. He might just end up accidentally grinding the ingredients to mush, or cutting them unevenly, but he's trying. The thing he's best at is kneading dough, but he thinks that all you need to do is punch it and move it around, so depending on the dough, he most likely ends up over-working it in seconds.

The food he'd make for you would lean more towards unhealthy and extremely delicious, unless you asked him to cook you a specific healthy food. Nonetheless, it would be a flavorful meal thanks to all the spices and seasonings he'd add to it.

The presentation's relatively nice! It might just make up for the fact the food looks a little mangled (unless you had him make you soup or something that's supposed to be mashed, then he's just about aced it). He'll ask you every now and then about the amount of pepper or salt he should add to the food, or to see if he added too much spice or too little... He might just end up burning a thing or two here or there, but for the most part, the food he makes for you is pretty good!

Bumblebee

He's good at making simple meals like sandwiches or mashed potatoes, but it's always a bit lacking in flavor. It's still good nonetheless, he just adds too little salt, pepper, or seasoning in general. Anything more complex than that and he'll be serving you a mess on a plate.

He's very considerate and tries to make a meal catered towards your personal tastes. If you're vegan or vegetarian, or have an allergic reaction to something, he'll try and find a recipe for something you can eat.

He tries to make the food look "cute". Like if you asked him to make you pancakes, he'd try to stack them up and make a face on them out of whipped cream, m&ms, and syrup. It may taste a bit weird, or sickeningly sweet, but the presentation's nice.

Smokescreen

He sucks at it. He cooks using the microwave instead of the stove. Once he's done with it, your microwave will smell like a dumpster fire, and you'll have to scrub away at all the splattered food that hardened into thick layers of burnt crust which is near impossible to get off. Even if you ignore it, the stench from the microwave might just seep into whatever you cook in there next, and absolutely ruin it's flavor. It's safe to say that your microwave is ruined.

The only knowledge he has of cooking is from watching Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares, but then again those shows didn't really teach him anything about cooking, they just served as entertainment. I mean the most he learned is that you should keep track of when you got ingredients, and to keep your pantry, fridge, cabinets, and kitchen clean, but that doesn't help him boil an egg.

Speaking of eggs, he tried cooking an egg in the microwave once—under the impression that the egg would boil—and much to his surprise, it exploded.

He presents the food in an... Interesting way... Honestly he just arranges it in whatever way looks cool and serves it to you with a "bon appetit".

He promises he'll clean up your microwave once he's done, but there's this stench that will always remain in there no matter what you do.

Wheeljack

He's hopeless too. Not only does he burn like 80 percent of what he's supposed to be cooking for you, but he over-seasons it too. There will be so much pepper on your food that you'll be sneezing the moment you catch a whiff.

But with a little supervision in the kitchen, he could make you something remotely edible. It may not look the part or smell the part, but it still is edible to some degree. He's very handy with a knife, and if you knew a thing or two about food science, he'd be open to listening to you talk about the glucose bonds in dough and whatnot.

If he put in a little bit of his time to do some research about food, he'd actually get a solid grasp of the bare bones of cooking. Like how long to cook meat and how to know if it's done, how to work a ball of dough, how not to overcook vegetables... Et cetera. Because it's all science-y in a way.

The presentation of the meal itself is average. He doesn't quite know how to "decorate" your food, so he just slaps it on a plate, or pours it in a bowl, or serves it in whatever fashion it should be served in, and he gives it to you.

[yoayoaa]

HAYOO!! How it's going? :D

I was wondering if you could do a sparkling! Reader with the Mtmte? HEHEH🤭😊

HAYOO! Its going well :)) how abt you?? Sorry for the late upload, school has been up my butt for awhile 😭

Prompt: Mtmte cast (by cast i mean only 1-3 bots 😭) with sparkling!reader

Warning: none

Notes: im not using any pronouns here and man im making this sparkling active as hell 💀

-Another peaceful day in the Lost light

-Shouldve been a peaceful day is what Ultra Magnus thinks

-A pod had hit the Lost light and some of the crew brought it in to check it

-Least they expect is a LITERAL SPARKLING being in there

-You were just beeping clicking at the bots you see, meanwhile said bots were either confused, baffled, or concerned

-Ratchet was the one who first pick you up and went to the med bay to make sure you were fine, First aid following behind him

-Soon some other bots went to the med bay while the rest went back doing their own things

-After Ratchet made sure you were alright, he lets the other bots see you

-Rodimus made himself known to you, in the most uh...bizarre way possible and that is by startling you so bad you smacked him on the faceplate

-Not hard enough to hurt him but enough to make a pretty loud noise and for him to reel back in surprise

-Ultra Magnus only sighed at him while Drift approached you next, gently carrying you while you clicked and reached out your servo to his intake

-Save to say he wasnt expecting you to pry his mouth open 💀

"Aww what a cute sparkl- WHA-" Drift was about to exclaim but you parted his intake open as Rodimus laughs in the background. "HAHA I wasn't expecting a sparkling to be that strong to pry your intake open" Rodimus cackled out as he laughs loudly.

-Next we haveee Gramps- I MEAN MEGATRON the M in Gramps stands for Megatron /j

-Megatron would probably hesitate a bit but after some reassuring, he'd want to hold you

-Stiff as a rock but would try to relax his hold on you, would crack a smile or cry if you decided to coo at him (do it /hj)

-Here we have stiff as a rock pt.2 AKA Ultra Magnus

-I just think he'd be really stiff even Drift would tell him to loosen up a bit 😭

-Maybe one day Rodimus would sneak you to Swerve's so he can introduce you to the others

[in1-nutshell]

Concept, mtmte Megatron accidentally adopts young human buddy.

Like there's basically just a teenager on the lost light, and because teenagers have no fear of death, they go out of their way to interact with the ex-warlord.

Time goes on, and eventually, when Megatron realizes the dynamic he has, he goes into a typical angsty brooding session. Bonus points if it has Brooklyn 99 energy of Peralta accidently calling holt 'dad' energy.

I really do enjoy your blog because a lot of the stuff is either platonic or familial, and that's my favorite shit. Hope you have a good day and drink water.

Thank you for the compliment! I have been drinking water and been having a pretty decent day. Now, Human Buddy who knows no fear is about to strike the fear of their well being upon others! Megatron is their prime target...

Hope you enjoy!

Megatron 'accidentally' adopting human Buddy who fears nothing

SFW, familial, platonic, mentions of injuries but nothing graphic or in details, Human reader

MTMTE/LL

Oh, Buddy starts off as the bane of his existence.

Buddy joins the lost light before the events of Delphi happen. Meaning they have been dealing with everyone’s problems since a little over day one.

Let’s give Buddy some context.

By sheer luck, Buddy managed to enter the Cybertronain/ Human Liaison program and was now the proud representative in the Lost Light.

Many bots on the Lost Light thought that this would be a little liaison and would be a bit fearful of the hulking giants around them or some sleazy politician. Some were just curious as they had never seen a human until that moment.

Rodimus is preparing for a Prowl like or Magnus like person to board the bridge. That’s usually who they send when it comes to relations, except Marrisa Fairborn, she was an exception.

At first Buddy did come off as someone overly polite… that was soon going to change.

“Welcome Buddy aboard the Lost Light.”—Ultra Magnus

“Thank you, Ultra Magnus sir.”--Buddy

“And I will be your Captain! The names Rodimus Prime.”--Rodimus

“Well, I’m just Buddy. Sorry but I should be entering my room now before take-off. Thank you again for the introduction sirs. I hope to find you soon?”--Buddy

“Absolutely, we will start the meeting in an hour in the meeting room down your hall.”—Ultra Magnus

“Thank you.”--Buddy

“…Great another stick in the mud…”--Rodimus

“Oh, hush they seem like a nice human.”—Ultra Magnus

A week later

“Hey Rodimus, I bet you can throw me into that mattress over there.”--Buddy

“Oh? You’re on!”--Buddy

“I have the reports ready—OH SWEET PRIMUS! BUDDY!”—Ultra Magnus

Timeskip

“So let me get this straight… You bet Rodimus, one of the most impulsive and childish bots on bourd—”--Ratchet

“Hey!”--Rodimus

“To THROW you across the room to a small mattress and it didn’t occur to you that you could bounce off the mattress!?”--Ratchet

“Well at least all the blood is internal right? That’s were the blood is supposed to be?”--Buddy

“…”--Ratchet

“Oh Primus…”—Ultra Magnus

“Oh, Primus indeed.”--Rodimus

Buddy does not know what ‘self-preservation’ is. Its not in their vocabulary. Ratchet has lost count of the amount of times that Buddy has come in the med bay with an injury that was caused by some atrociously dumb plan.

“Alright… what’s the damage today? Whirl brought you in this time so it must be bad.”—Ratchet

“Rude.”—Buddy and Whirl

“Well, I’m waiting. What happened?”--Ratchet

“Well… I was trying to follow Skids trails through the vents, which is so cool to visit—”--Buddy

“Kid.”--Ratchet

“Right. Well, I thought I could jump across the vent opening and kind a didn’t…”--buddy

“What?”--Ratchet

“Good thing Whirl was there to break my fall! Sorry again Whirl for the glass.”--Buddy

“Next time you bust my glass at least do a flip next time you fall on your back.”--Whirl

“What you fell on your back?! You have glass imbedded in it!”--Ratchet

“Huh? That explains why my back hurts so much.”--Buddy

“…”--Ratchet

Rodimus takes it back he loves this little human. Buddy is his best human friend. Whirl wins this though, he already asked Buddy to be his Amica Endura, and they accepted!

“Hey Ratchet—”--Drift

“Shh!”--Ratchet

“Rude—”--Drift

“No. It’s quiet… to quiet…”--Ratchet

“What do you think we are going to get attack?”--Drift

“…No, it’s something much worse.”--Ratchet

“What could be worse—”--Drift

“Its Whirl and Buddy! They haven’t made noise in about 10 minutes!”--Ratchet

“Ratchet I think that them not making noise—”--Drift

BAM!

“Eat floor Cyclonus!”--Whirl

“Whirl! Run! He’s gaining on us!”--Buddy

“I stand corrected.”--Drift

They make friends with a lot of bots on board. Many are happy to meet an individual such as Buddy. But this also comes at a cost. Many bots have to watch for Buddy in case something bad happens to them. They are so small and they keep getting into dangerous situations!

Rung has a line of bots that express the same worry for Buddy one day doing something dumb and not being able to come back from it.

Buddy knows no fear.

How does the crew know this?

Buddy made it their life job to make Megatron uncomfortable when they found out he was going to be the Co-Captain.

“Hey! MegaDork!”--Buddy

“Hmm?”--Megatron

Bucket of oil falls from door.

“Theres more were that came from Bucket Head! That’s for Earth!”--Buddy

Megatron can’t do anything about it. He hates organics and he can’t kill this one, not without causing another war. When Ravage shows up, he thinks that Buddy might back down a bit. I mean what human in their right of mind would try and continue to prank him when ravage is around? Buddy takes this as a challenge that needs to be beaten. If anything, Ravage helps a bit.

“He slipped on the paint! Go! Go! Go!”--Buddy

“Ravage!?”--Megatron

“All is fair in music tapes and war Megatron.”—Ravage

Buddy has the ring tone of Megs comm to “Be Prepared” from the Lion King. Swerve helped them put in the music. He laughed nonstop when it first worked.

They are petty.

Everyone is on edge whenever those two are in the same room.

Half ready to shoot Megatron down the other half to get Buddy to safety once they manage to trigger Megatron.

Is there any chance that Megatron will get a break?

Yes, yes, he does.

He managed to finally get a place holder for a poetry night in one of the classrooms. Not to his surprise no bot shows up. He is about to leave when he hears the quick little sets of footsteps coming in.

“Wait! Wait! Hold the door! I’m here! I’m here!”--Buddy

“Buddy?”--Megatron

“I’m not late, am I? I just saw the flyer from Swerve. And—hold on—sprinted from my room back here.”--Buddy

“Oh, umm, no one came…”--Megatron

“Oh, okay then its just us two them Big Guy?”--Buddy

“Wait—”--Megatron

“Call dibs on the chair on the left.”--Buddy

Megatron never pegged Buddy to be into poetry. He is also floored with Buddy actually talking to him and giving pointers on how to improve his own pieces of work. Even referring to other poets’ works so he could get some inspiration!

He nearly misses the shy look Buddy gives when he compliments their work.

He thinks that this is a onetime thing.

He is deeply mistaken.

“Hey Megs! You ready for today’s meeting?”--Buddy

“Oh, yes I am.”--Megatron

“Good! I have a bunch of works that need to be peer reviewed and I can’t trust Rodimus to look over these; and Whirl sadly isn’t an option for these either.”--Buddy

“Why don’t you ask Magnus? Surely, he could also help?”--Megatron

“And have him explain to me the importance of an Oxford comma when I forgot to put one in my writing? Yeah no, I need your optics for this.”--Buddy

“…Me?”--Megatron

Buddy no longer causes too much trouble for the Ex-warlord. Still trouble but not as much as last time. They always come to the poetry club and even managed to snag a couple of their friends to come with.

He is not going to admit to anyone, well maybe Ravage, that he started growing a soft spot for them.

“Ravage… I think I might be growing fond of Buddy…”--Megatron

“Congratulations! You’re officially the last one to know.”--Ravage

These little interactions begin happening more and more, Megatron is just happy that things are finally going well.

Then it happened.

It was at Swerve’s.

He was sitting at the bar looking over Buddy’s latest writing with Buddy, themselves sitting patiently. He gives a compliment and gives them back the writing.

“You’ve improved Buddy. These are getting better with more time.”--Megatron

“Thanks Dad.”--Buddy

“…”--Everyone

“Why is everyone so quiet?”--Buddy

“You just called Megatron here, ‘Dad’.”--Whirl

“What’s a ‘Dad’?”--Tailgate

“No! I didn’t say ‘Dad’! I just said, ‘Thanks Man!’”--Buddy

“I don’t know Buddy. It sounded a lot like ‘Dad’ to me.”--Whirl

“Seriously, what’s a ‘Dad’?”--Tailgate

“Well, you heard wrong Whirl!”--Buddy

“Do you see me as a father figure Buddy?”--Megatron

“No! I see you as a bother figure if anything.”--Buddy

“Hey respect your Dad!”--Ratchet

“Is no one going to tell me what a ‘Dad’ is?”--Tailgate

After that interaction, Buddy begins to avoid Megatron after the confrontation and nearly shuts down when someone brings up the event. Megatron really wants to talk to buddy about the incident but decides not to. Maybe it was a mistake.

He broods over it for a while.

He finds Buddy again at Swerve’s where a rather drunk bot was making fun of Buddy for their little ‘slip up’.

“Wow Fleshy. You messed be so messed up in the processor to call Megatron your Dad.”—Drunk Bot

“Hey drop it.”--Buddy

“Oh, look at me! I’m so scared of a human how I could flick across the room if I wanted to.”—Drunk Bot

“Oh, please I know that barely existing processor of yours isn’t that dumb. But even then, I hope Natural selection takes you if you follow through that threat.”—Buddy

It was getting to the point where it was becoming insensitive.

Bots around were getting uneasy at the conversation and some looked like they were going to come over and do something.

Megatron is quicker.

As he strides over, he is met with the infamous brick of parenthood. Should he really take up such a mantle?

He takes that mantle by the horns and makes it his.

“My child, is something wrong?”--Megatron

Voice crack “Nope. Just Peachy.”--Buddy

Everyone looks over.

Buddy is just beaming.

Megatron has no regrets saying what he said, he lets Buddy know this.

No, Buddy isn’t crying. You’re the one crying.

[theoceanoasis]

Rodimus feeling bad after the inevitable breakup with Drift and Ratchet, they were more interested in having him in the berth than anything else and he wanted something more. With this happening in the past with Megatron and Ultra Magnus for the same reason, Rodimus wants to swear off dating for good but Soundwave joins the Lost Light and, soon, starts seriously courting Rodimus. He always had a crush on the mech and doesn't want to lose his chance. Despite hesitation, Rodimus can tell Soundwave is sincere and he begins to fall in love with him.

The two end up getting together - And, soon after, the other two couples (Drift/Ratchet, Megatron/Ultra Magnus) realize what they let go and want to court Rodimus too but whoops too late now to court him. Rodimus is happily planning his Conjunx Ceremony with Soundwave and is expecting a bitty on the way.

He sobbed in his bed feeling his spark break even though he knew it was the right thing to do, didn't make it hurt any less.

He loved Ratchet and Drift and for a long time he imagined building a life together with them. He'd been so madly in love he hadn't realized they didn't feel the same way.

He knows they love him but not in the way he wants. They see him as a friend with benefits and he wanted more.

He loved his time with them and would treasure it but he needed to move on. He deserved more than being a quick frag always waiting for them to call him so they could hook up.

He shifted suddenly feeling anxious. This wasn't the first time this has happened. As much as it pains him he went through the same thing with Megatron and Ultra Magnus. He thought this time was different and that Drift and Ratchet really loved him. Part of him was scared that being someone's friends with benefits was the best he was going to get and that no one would ever love him.

The idea made him cry as loneliness weld up inside of him. He found himself praying to Primus to help him find love as he slipped into recharge.

In the morning he didn't remember his prayer just the pain and sadness at another relationship not working out.

He decided to swear off dating not wanting to get his spark broken. After having this happen twice it was obvious no one wanted him and he decided to take the hint.

Some people just weren't meant to be loved and he was one of those unlucky people destined to be alone.

Then almost like an intervention from Primus his old crush decided to join the Lost Light.

People had been weary and stayed away from Soundwave a few accusing him of following Megatron, believing the ex warlord was up to something.

Soundwave quickly and brutally squashed those rumors down still hating Megatron for leaving.

Megatron kept himself scarce not wanting to deal with an angry Soundwave. Every time they were in the same room together he'd glare.

It made him curious and he found himself asking why he joined the Lost Light if he knew Megatron was on it. Soundwave had shrugged.

"I don't know I just had this weird feeling I was needed."

After that conversation the two start hanging out more. He didn't realize at first still getting over his last breakup and it wasn't until an annoyed Tailgate. Who was tired of watching them dance around each other. Told him that Soundwave had been flirting with him the entire time and quite blatantly.

He'd looked at the minicon in shock thinking back to their past interactions. He felt conflicted even though he liked the mech back. He was scared that it wouldn't work out and didn't want to be rejected again.

Soundwave is very patient and let's him work out his feelings. Talking to Rung he decides to take a chance wanting to be happy.

For the first time someone was pursuing him not the other way around when it came to being in a relationship.

The two started off slowly having been hurt in the past. Both of them falling more in love each day. As they spent time with each other. Eventually they moved in together and began practicing their rights wanting to get bonded.

Being with Soundwave was the happiest he'd ever been and it showed. His whole frame seemed to glow with happiness attracting a lot of attention.

Drift, Ratchet, Megatron and Ultra Magnus had looked at him in surprise having never seen him like that before.

They'd started acting weird and he became distressed when he realized they were trying to court him. Finally realizing their feeling for him.

The thought terrified him but Soundwave was there to step in. After having them walk in on Soundwave fragging him into the desk they left him alone.

A few days later and he began to throw up. Worried about the stress they'd put him under when they decided to court him. Soundwave took him to the medbay worried about his health and planning vengeance if he was seriously ill. It was then revealed that he was sparked.

Both of them were excited and decided to push up their bonding date. Knowing they loved each other and wanting to get bonded as their new life began.

[lets-try-some-writing]

How good would the bots handwriting be?

In English? In Cybertronian? Why not both?

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

On Cybertron, writing anything by hand was not exactly common. Technology trimmed the process down a great deal and writing by hand was seen as something reserved for the higher castes. A written series of glyphs was a material promise, something important and made only to be used in serious events. Otherwise most everything was done digitally to save time and improve efficiency. Autocorrect most certainly helped many a struggling writer back on Cybertron.

With this in mind, as resources cut short and Earth lacked the needed materials to make a surplus of datapads, handwriting skills became very clear. More so than ever once the children decided to try and teach the bots to write for possible cover reasons. One could never be sure when one would need a bot to sign them out of school early.

Arcee has the worst handwriting by far, a surprising twist considering her dainty digits and relatively small size. One would think writing would come easy to her, but she hates doing anything like that by hand. She can type quickly, but writing out anything on a datapad, much less paper of all things? No she would much prefer being on Shockwave's operating table over having to possibly write her report manually. The glyphs of the various dialects on Cybertron are too much for her and the hatred of writing transferred over to English even though it is FAR easier to write in. The team won't say it to her face, but her writing looks like chicken scratch in both languages. The children don't know she is garbage at writing in Cybertronian too, and the team are content to leave them with the thought that she is just bad at learning English.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack share one braincell on a good day, and their writing shows this. They write exclusively in the wartime Wrecker dialect that formed over the millions of years of conflict. No one but Autobots can even begin to read their writing as its all a strange deviation from Autobot encryption. Sure they can write in mainstream Cybertronian dialects, but it looks awful and honestly the team prefer having to put on reading glasses and stare at their encrypted writing over having to get out a dictionary to even begin to parse out their other writings. In light of this, they do not write in English when asked to use an Earth language. Instead, they like Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and other such languages due to the ease of which they find encrypting the writing to be. They are hated by Bot and human alike for their habit of making things more complicated than it needs to be.

Ultra Magnus writes in the most computer generated manner known to any of the bots. How he does it is a mystery. Yet somehow he got so used to manually writing out his signature that now his every written glyph comes out as if it were typed. He doesn't seem to notice or care for the team's gawking, and he absolutely refuses to write in English simply because he had no interest in relearning writing. The team don't know, but the real reason he doesn't want to write in any other dialect is because he purposefully trained his motor functions to only write in his very specific manner. To try and learn a brand new written language would mess that up and ruin his clean and crisp glyphs.

Ratchet is an odd ball in his writing. When in a hurry, his writing in both Cybertronian and English looks like the Doctor's scrawl that those outside of the medical field have no hope of figuring out. However when he's not in a rush, he has a very distinct method of writing his glyphs and letters. In Cybertronian dialects of any kind, he adds extra emphasis in places where there has been no need for further glyph usage since the age of Wrath. In English, he adds interesting swirls and excess E's absolutely everywhere as if it is an additional glyph meant to add meaning to the word. Rafael tried to correct him once. That didn't end well.

Smokescreen has never written anything in his life. He can type like lightening, but he was never schooled in traditional manual writing simply due to how time consuming it was and how unneeded the ability happened to be at his post. He can't do any writing to save his life, but he has managed to convincingly fake the ability to write when in a tight spot. He can scribble and make it look like REALLY bad Tarnian dialect. And since that particular script hasn't been used since the city was destroyed, most don't judge him for it. But Optimus knows, and when he has time, he does what he can to school the rookie. Rafael has also taken it upon himself to try and teach Smokescreen some English with limited success.

Bumblebee grew up under Optimus, and Optimus in turn grew up under Alpha Trion. The two have startlingly similar handwriting more often than not. They both know many languages and dialects and are fluent in them, they both share glyph usage preferences, and both are known for their regular language swaps in writing. The only way to really tell them apart is to look REALLY closely at either the curvature of a specific glyph in Ancient Cybertronian or to stare really hard at the way their write their O's and B's. Both write like they walked straight out of ancient eras of old on a good day and write like living dictionaries for pretty much any other dialect. The team and the children gave up trying to figure out who wrote what a long time ago. If they can't pick it up from the context of the writing, they can just assume its important regardless.

[cybertron-after-dark]

More questionable tfa headcanons

-Bumblebee and Bulkhead do impressions of Optimus behind his back. Bulkhead actually feels kinda bad about it but that does not stop him. Prowl is not immune to joining in. OP still hasn't caught them.

-Optimus really wants to adopt a dog once he's positive he could adequately take care of one. He loves the idea of keeping a big grey one and naming him Silverbolt, after Silverbolt Major from the great war. It just feels right.

-Starscream will never admit to listening to the dumb sound patterns humans call music, but in private he's a swiftie, and he WILL sing shake it off if nobody's watching.

-Lugnut bakes in his off time, and he keeps trying to spoil Megatron with little treats, as his grand and glorious master deserves little gifts and tributes whenever Lugnut can give them. Sadly, Megatron doesn't actually have much of a sweet tooth so most of Lugnut's edible gifts get passed off to someone else.

-you know that bit in the Allspark almanac where Lugnut is bitching about earth sports and the Tigatron stadium? He has such strong feelings because Blitzwing loves that shit and keeps trying to rope Lugnut into playing. For Blitzwing, it reminds him of his gladiator days, it's a way to have fun and reminisce without killing someone. For Lugnut, it can't compare, it's kinda just a watered down, wussified version of real gladiatorial combat.

-upon discovering ytps, both bumblebee and bulkhead trained their voice synthesizers to be able to mimic the edited sounds. Sometimes they'll use it in the middle of a fight as a sort of secret code so the cons can't pick up on what they're planning to counter it. Optimus has mixed feelings. He doesn't understand what the hell they're saying like 90% of the time, and he recognizes this isn't proper military strategy, but he can't argue with the results. At least they're sort of taking the fights seriously?

-Blitzwing and Blackarachnia fucking hate each other but Megatron frowns upon infighting, so instead of constant violence, they've sort of settled on an escalating cold war of inconveniences and irritants. Neither of them can throw a punch, or set anything up that would result in actual injury, but immobilizing via ice or webs is fine, provided it doesn't affect tactical matters. Blitzwing constantly freezes the locks on BA's door, BA spikes Blitzwing's energon with cyber venom, pretty much anything that could qualify as day ruining. The worst was when Blitzwing covered BA with electronic paint and turned her into a walking rainbow all day.

-prowl wants to volunteer at animal shelters but he's a bit too big to fit in most of the buildings

-both shockwave and starscream are horrible liars but Megatron is terrible at picking up when someone's lying, so starscream's scheming went unnoticed for years and shockwave was sent in as a spy with full confidence that he wouldn't blow his cover.

-ratchet and optimus have been teaching Sari bits of cybertronian. Optimus teaches her the more formal aspects of the language, given there's a high chance she'll be interacting with Ultra Magnus, the guilds domesticus, and other high ranking autobots that warrant a more formal address. Ratchet (Mr "don't call me sir, I work for a living") teaches her more day to day, informal cybertronian. And swears. He teaches her pretty much all the swears.

-when Sari moved in, Optimus learned to cook so she wouldn't have to live off fast food from the burger bot. Which was hell for the big guy because why in primus's name is human fuel so complicated? He used to think sugar was pretty much an energon equivalent, cut and dry. He was wrong. He was so wrong. OP usually has Sari help him out because he cant exactly taste it to make sure it's, you know, actually edible.

-Prowl loves animals and the natural parts of earth with all his spark, but man are some parts of it brutal. When he learned what a parasitoid wasp was he couldn't sleep for days.

-bulkhead actually wants to go to a human art college once the war's over. Maybe not full time but he definitely wants to pick up some classes and learn what he can. Once he gets good enough, he wants to bring that knowledge back to Cybertron and see what other bots do with it.

-Optimus has a collection of skeezy romance novels. The equivalent on Cybertron is kind of an obscure rarity, only really sold in the seediest of places, so he couldn't really believe how easy it was to find smut like that on Earth. The intrinsic human fleshiness of the book characters always weirds him out just a bit, but not enough to ruin it for him. It's not really the pornographic aspect he's interested in, after all, it's the romantic aspect. He keeps his digital stash double encrypted in his datatrax, because he knows if anyone found it (cough cough bumblebee cough) he'd never hear the end of it.

-giving Blitzwing internet access was a mistake. Now he knows what memes are and random has been making that every other decepticon's problem since he found out. Megatron has to constantly guess whether what would normally be a standard Blitzwing non sequitur is actually a setup for Megatron to get laughed at by the entire human internet. He's fallen for updog, he's fallen for Ligma, he will NOT be caught slipping again.

-while he was undercover, once a week, shockwave would call Megatron and complain over a few barrels of oil about what kind of stupid slag his pompous idiot crankshaft coworkers would pull. One of the few autobot names Megatron could remember was Sentinel Prime, solely from the long list of transgressions Shockwave has drunkenly recounted.

-Soundwave hates most humans but he's decided that a few specific bands whose music he likes will be spared when the revolution comes, inferior as they may be.

-Prowl sends jazz earth music sometimes. It's pretty much blown Jazz's mind because most of the music on Cybertron is propaganda songs. He's not really used to songs about things other than war heroes, or even songs with no words at all. Just music for its own sake.

-Sentinel Prime's only friend is Cliffjumper and Cliffjumper only hangs out with him for brown nosing sycophantic reasons, not because he actually likes the guy.

-Ultra Magnus knows he's a corrupt bastard. He doesn't lose sleep over it, as long as his public image is good.