#Rodimus has a great day

[tripleglitchwriting]

You mentioned Ultra Magnus trying to cope with the world of One Piece and the Strawhat Pirates and I. Am. Here. For. It.

UM is a very ernest stressed out lawful good character. and the Strawhats are a chaotic good force. More Chaos than all the Wreckers and the Lost Light put together.

So in honor of that post If you don't mind me asking for two requests in one request box open run I'd like to request a One Piece/Lost Lighters crossover.

The Strawhats are helping The Lost Light crew because Luffy and Rodimus vibe. Roddy has a grand fleet flag and Luffy has a Rodimus star.

Either, Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus in a lull in the action asks Robin why she's a Strawhat Pirate. She's the only sane one here.

Or, if your in the mood for something lighter, Franky and Brainstorm Share The Brain-cell^TM while Usop and Perceptor attempt damage control.

YOU UNDERSTAND. YOU GET IT. I will be happy to write this!! I’m sorry it took me so long, I’ve been going through a rough patch when it comes to motivation.

The lost light characters may be a bit ooc because I’ve been having a hard time gauging their personalities. A lot of what I have for them in my head is from other fanfictions.

Also, this is just the start of the story, it’s just how they meet. I’ve yet to write specific interactions between characters, but I wholeheartedly plan to write more!

A little side note for clarification on One Piece in case anyone needs it:

- This takes place sometime after Jinbei gets on the ship

- I watch the dub so I’m going to use all of the names and such they use there (ex. Black foot Sanji -> Black leg Sanji)

- Sanji and Brook will be normal to women. I just don’t want to write them being weird.

Without further ado, I present…

Ten Idiots Meet A Ship Full Of Other Significantly Bigger Idiots

Synopsis:

After an experiment gone bad on the Lost Light (again), a portal is temporarily opened up to another dimension. Before it could be closed, however, a group of strange individuals manage to slip through.

After a long day at sea, The Strawhats always look forward to a first-class home cooked meal by Sanji himself. It was a beautiful evening- the crew opted to stay out on the deck of the Sunny to watch the sunset.

“SANJI! I’M HUNGRY! FOOD! NOW!” Not that much peace could be had with a captain like Luffy.

“I’m coming! Not every cook can whip up something like this every night you know. I swear, you guys eat more than a whole island every day.”

“Hey, that’s just Luffy. Don’t include the rest of us in this!” Nami shouted from the stairs leading to where the rest of the crew sat.

“I’M YOUR CAPTAIN AND I SAY FEED ME! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Luffy pumped his arms as he chanted, sticking his tongue out as he watched Sanji cart out a giant platter of cartoonishly large meat.

“Smells as delicious as ever, Sanji.” Brook commented.

“Thank you, Brook. At least someone appreciates my food around here.” He glared at his captain, who was completely oblivious to everything else around him and solely focused on his food. Everyone else chatted away. Laughing, eating, looking up at the beautiful swirling vortex that had just appeared in the sky.

Wait.

Luffy had to stretch his arms up as his food began to be sucked into the portal above them, but it was in vain as he began to float too. The Sunny creaked as gravity shifted around them, everything but the ship itself beginning a startling ascent upwards.

“MY MEAT! NAMI, WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

“How should I know?!” She clung to an uprooting tangerine tree, “This is NOT normal! I haven’t read anything about whatever this is!”

“Everybody hang on to something!” Jinbei ordered, staring to float himself. Brook didn’t seem to get the message, as he was the first to loose his grip.

“SOMEBODYHELPMEIMBEINGPULLEDIN—”vwoop! And then he was gone.

“BROOK!” Luffy, having already eaten everything on his plate, launched himself into the portal.

“Damnit Luffy!” Zoro did the same soon after.

“What? Are we seriously going in that thing?” Chopper squealed, Usopp and Nami seemed to agree.

“Maybe we’ll all be immediately killed once we enter. It would be a painless death at least.” Robin said calmly, affixing herself to the ground with her devil fruit powers.

“YOU ARE NOT HELPING!” Usopp, Nami, and Chopper all screamed in unison.

“I suppose this is our next adventure!” Jinbei leapt through the portal. Sanji sighed and followed after him.

“Well, Sunny’s too big to go through that thing, so I guess we’re goin’ in without her.” Franky detached himself from the mast.

“Okay everyone, come on.” Robin peeled Usopp, Nami, and Chopper from their death grips on the ship and took all of them with her as she joined the rest of the crew.

“ROBIN WHY-“ Vwoop! And just like that, the Thousand Sunny was left empty.

————————————

Brainstorm was in big trouble. And possibly the entire Lost Light. And maybe the universe. The good news is his portal machine worked! The bad news is it was now pulling in random things from a random space in the multiverse. This would be a great opportunity to study it, unfortunately the stability of the thing was questionable. That is to say the portal was currently beginning to implode.

“Brainstorm, what are you doing!?” Preceptor skidded into the room right as he heard the snapping and crackling of something that probably shouldn’t be making that sound.

“Oh, nothing. It’s fine! It’s fine. I just need to- oh that’s not good. Actually do you mind helping me shut this down before it destroys the entire ship?”

“You’re going to be the death of all of us-” right as he began to walk toward the vortex, a screaming clatter of something came speeding out of it. On closer inspection, it seemed to be the corpse of a human.

“Oh, well, that’s new.” Brainstorm oh so helpfully commented. Just after another being came from the portal, also screaming but not quite as dead. Another followed, this one with a complete and utter look of annoyance on his face.

“What in the- Brainstorm, what did you do?” Ratchet entered, as did Ultra Magnus.

Soon there was an array of things entering the room. Aside from the array of random objects, there was a large blue organic followed by an another human wearing a black suit, then large possibly techno organic. Four other small people shot out shortly after.

“CLOSE IT! CLOSE IT NOW!” Ratchet ordered.

“Oh why didn’t I think of that- oh wait, I did, and I COULD USE SOME HELP!” Together they pulled on a comically large mad scientist like lever affixed to the portals control panel. As quick as it had arrived the portal was gone, though what- or who- it had just pulled in were gaining their bearings.

“Hahahaha! That was fun!” One of the humans, one wearing a yellow hat with a red line across it, put his hand on his head and looked around. It took him a second to notice, but when he finally realized where he was the man yelled, “WOAH! Cool! This place is huge!”

“It seems to be some sort of… metal building. A giant workstation perhaps.” The blue man said thoughtfully.

“Well I say we get out of here! I don’t want to be around when we find out why this place needs to be so big!” A long-nosed human whisper shouted.

“What, like those freaky statues?” The very annoyed man gestured at Brainstorm, Ultra Magnus, Ratchet, and Preceptor, who were all standing completely still. That is, until Rodimus showed up.

“Brainstorm, I heard yelling, is there a fight? Without me?” He strolled in casually, not looking at the floor, and instead focusing on his crew who were all staring at him. “What? What did I do?”

“That. Is. AWESOME!” Something from the floor shot up at Rodimus’s face. “Are you a robot? Can you shoot lasers? Do you eat metal?!” Somehow, someway, there was an ecstatic human right in front of his optics.

“Luffy! Get down from there!”

“Woah. So, care to explain? Anyone?”

“We are not robots, we are Cybertronian.” Ultra Magnus automatically stated.

“Cool!” ‘Luffy’, as his friend called him, somehow managed to launch himself on top of Rodimus’s helm. “Is there any food here?”

“Luffy! Damnit-” Another of the humans, the one in the suit, jumped. Accept when one would normally begin to succumb to gravity and fall back down, he took another step in the air and kept going. “You are so reckless!” The man tackled Luffy off Rodimus and they both began to plummet down to the ground- a height deadly to something so small.

“Sanji, let me down! I want to talk to the robot!”

“How about you shut up and come up with a plan before you get us all killed!” The moment they jumped off, Ratchet was already in motion. He was able to dive behind Rodimus to catch the two, but as he slid on the ground to save them ‘Sanji’ jumped off the air again and landed perfectly safe.

“I… I can’t even begin to explain this.” He admitted in a completely defeated tone, now chassis down on the floor.

“Do they all move?” A small voice whispered from the group still standing where the portal once was.

“I hope not.” Another replied.

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.” Brainstorm said calmly.

“I don’t think anyone could have predicted this.” Ultra Magnus put his servo on his helm. The two that had just survived a deadly landing like it was nothing walked back to their group- one much more unhappy than the other.

“Sorry about him. He does this a lot.” The annoyed green haired man glared at both of them.

“Oh, like you’re any better moss head.”

“Oh yeah? At least I didn’t jump in the face of a giant robot!”

“Yeah, cause you’d get lost on the way there!”

“You take that back-“

“STOP IT!” Half of the new arrivals shouted at the same time. One orange haired girl stepped up to comfort the bickering duo.

“This is not the time to argue! We’re kind of… we- look!” She gestured at, well, everything. Everyone else seemed to silently agree.

“Greetings visitors from another world! Welcome aboard the Lost Light!” Brainstorm announced with a flashy arm movement.

“Hey, I’m the captain, I get to welcome people into the ship!”

“You’re a captain?! Is this a pirate ship? Are you giant robot pirates?!” Luffy shouted in awe, though still in the arms of Sanji, who promptly dropped him.

“He said he was ‘Cybertronian’ bro. Not a robot.” The probably techno organic chastised.

“Psh, whatever.” Luffy got himself to his feet.

“We are not pirates.” Ultra Magnus said very sternly. “We are on a perfectly legal exploratory expedition.”

“Oh, bummer.” He glanced around once again. Apparently deciding now was a good time, he introduced himself. “My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I’m gonna be King of the Pirates!” Luffy smiled brightly and giggled, either ignoring or disregarding his friends facepalms.

“Well, I’d say this was a great success!” Brainstorm cheered to himself. “Who knew that was possible! I really am a genius.”

“And who are you?” ‘Moss head’ sneered at him. “Who are any of you? This is weird.”

“Well, if I’m allowed to introduce my own ship this time, my name is Rodimus Prime, captain of the Lost Light!”

“Hang on, this is your ship? How did you build something like this, it looks like it’s straight outta Vegapunk’s lab! What part of the world are we in anyway?” The blue hair techno organic asked, putting his oversized hand on his strangely shaped chin.

“Space, my friend. We’re in space. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if anything living would make it through that portal. Looks like it’s got about a 9 out of 10 survival rate which is better than most multidimensional portals I’ve seen. That is to say I’ve never seen one before, because I built the first one. Just now. No need to congratulate me.” Ignoring Brainstorm’s blatant narcissism, the of new arrivals looked absolutely flabbergasted by this information.

“We’re in space? Like, space space? Outer space?” Luffy asked with eyes wider than any moon, a big bright burning ball of excitement building in his chest.

“I assume you’ve never been off your planet before?” Perceptor asked. Luffy didn’t respond this time. He looked like he was about to burst with excitement, though his crew mates didn’t seem to pay much mind. One or two of them shook their heads in response to the question. “Well, Brainstorm, care to explain what you’ve done here?”

“What I’ve done- well, if you have the mental capacity to understand- I can give you a basic rundown. I’ve designed this portal to reach into alternate dimensions, which have hardly been confirmed to exist other than the dead universe. I’ve been worked steadily on it for a while now, and today I tested it out. It brought these ten organics here as well as some other junk.”

“Brainstorm.”

“Yes?”

“You mean to tell me, you turned on an untested and extremely dangerous machine that could obliterate our entire existence within nanokliks for no reason other than bragging rights? And when it miraculously did work, you pulled in ten random people from an unknown possibly incredibly dangerous world that could have also imploded our entire existence?”

“Yes that about sums it up.” Perceptor’s optic twitched, but as it seemed time was moving a bit too fast for him to start lecturing. The corpse on the floor began to move, slowly at first, and then in a sharp practiced motion it popped up on its feet.

“Yohohoho! I think I passed out for a second there!” The skeleton looked around. “Oh. I definitely passed out. No bones about it!” The apparently not corse laughed to himself.

“Cool! I didn’t think those human stories about corpses coming back to life were real!” Rodimus said with a childlike playfulness.

“They’re not.” Ultra Magnus argued bluntly.

“Oh, I am a skeleton. It’s a long story. Say, Luffy, what is going on?”

“We got sucked through a portal and now we’re talking to giant robot guys.”

“Oh okay.” The skeleton nodded, and then quickly scurried to where three of the other humans (and animal thing?) were huddled.

“Well, remind me to change that to a 10 out of 10 survival rate!”

“I feel like introductions are in order here…” Perceptor stated, “I’ll go first. My name is Perceptor. I’m a scientist. Now, you.” He gestured at Brainstorm.

“Well, if you insist. I am Brainstrom. Genius inventor of the machine that brought you all here.”

“I am the duly enfor- ah, I mean Ultra Magnus. I try to keep the peace around here.”

“You know me, I’m Rodimus.” He nudged Ratchet. “It’s your turn, doc.”

“Fine. I’m Ratchet. Retired head medical officer.“

“Cool names!” Luffy, having sprung back up, was jumping up and down. “This is my crew, the Strawhat Pirates!”

“Roronoa Zoro. Soon to be greatest swordsman and second hand man.” ‘Moss head’ introduced himself. The orange hair girl stepped out of the group.

“I’m Nami, the navigator.” The long nose man shakily emerged after her.

“I am commander Usopp! Best sniper in the world! I’m also the leader of one thousa-“

“Don’t even start.” The suit wearing man stepped up. “Sanji. I’m the crew’s chef.” The animal like thing approached from behind another crew member.

“Um, my name’s Chopper. I’m the doctor.” He tapped his hooves together nervously. A woman, one who hasn’t said much until now, patted the hat on his head in a compassionate manner.

“I’m Nico Robin, an archeologist.” She smiled sweetly and quickly got out of the way of the blue haired inhuman human man rushing to the front.

“Name’s Franky!” He struck a strange pose. “A SUPER good shipwright!” The skeleton stepped up beside him and did a short bow.

“My name is Brook. I am lucky to be the musician of this crew. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” When he stood up the large blue man stood beside him.

“I am Jinbe, the helmsman. It is a pleasure to meet you as well.” He bowed deeply.

“Now that we did that, do you guys have any food?” Luffy asked immediately and without hesitation.

The fifteen of them stood in Brainstorm’s mildly disfigured lab space, each with very different thoughts running through their heads. A new world, a new people, things most on the Lost Light never even imagined possible. From then on, the world got a little more chaotic.

[cyberrose2001]

Under Pressure

MTMTE Rodimus x Reader

GRAHH SURPRISE!!!!

Relic and I have been... discussing... very hard about an ask they got a couple days ago so I wrote this eheh (THANK YOU FOR DISCUSSING THIS WITH ME AND LETTING ME WRITE THIS ILY)

Also please yell at me if I forgot any warnings!

Loosely based of this ask over on @callsign-relic's blog

Warnings: Human reader, Giant/Tiny, Dub-Con(?), Nocturnal emission, Crack fic(?)

Word count: 1,887

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

Rodimus denies it every time, but he's a heavy sleeper. He snores like a congested rhino; he constantly sets twelve alarms that only barely stir him from his slumber. Despite being captain of the ship, his sleep schedule is far from tip-top shape.

And no, you're not a stalker. You're just Rodimus' observant little 'pet' human, always there, with a California king on his bedside dresser. Yeah, you're treated like royalty by an incredibly hard-to-deny hot alien robot.

So, as the ship ventured further into deep space and the nights got colder, you whined and begged to stay with him.

Rodimus was very hesitant to let you join him in the berth. As much as he cared about you and would kill an army for you, he didn't want to accidentally kill you, which was very much a possibility in any scenario on this ship. But he caved. You had mastered the sad, wet cat look, and Rodimus had the willpower of a rock.

Relishing in victory, you're curled up comfortably against Rodimus' lower plating for the third consecutive night in a row, warmed by the large servo of a sleeping giant. The entire palm of his hand covers your back in subconscious protection, and every so often, you feel a twitch of one digit. It's tranquility and a rare comfort, the touch of another you haven't felt since being on earth.

Until he rolls over.

Rodimus, choking on his snores, flips over onto his stomach and nearly tosses you off the berth if not for the grip he has on you. Despite almost winding you and making an audible 'Oof' sound, he doesn't wake up, his unconscious body assuming another comfortable position.

It takes you a few moments to register what the fuck just happened, but you realise that you're now underneath Rodimus. Almost his entire body weight is now pressed against you and pins you to the berth.

Oh god, you think to yourself.

This is less than ideal; this was not supposed to happen. How the hell are you, a tiny ass human, supposed to get out from under him? You probably shouldn't even be alive right now with how restricted your breathing is, not to mention how hard he flopped on top of you. But thankfully, with how Rodimus' legs have fallen into position, it leaves you with just enough room for your chest to rise and fall.

"God." You whine, muffled as your cheeks squish against his abdominal plating.

Your mind runs wild as you try to think of a way out. Maybe he'll just roll over again soon? God, you hope so; you can handle only so much weight, and Rodimus feels like he could hold down a cargo ship. Probably because he can.

But until then, however long that may be, you need to try something at least.

"Rodimus?" You try to wiggle but to no avail. He has you pinned pinned, and you use what little breath you have to yell out to him, "Hello? Are you awake or what?"

A loud, seemingly exaggerated snore replies to you. He's still deep in recharge, ruining any chance you have of waking him up yourself. You try to use your nails to scratch the surface of his frame, hoping it would tickle him or something, but that doesn't work either.

"Great." You roll your eyes, only you would ever end up in this type of situation. If only you had listened to Rodimus when he first said no, then you wouldn't be currently experiencing a near death experi-

"Y/n..." Rodimus' hoarse voice crackles above you, sending vibrations through your bones.

"Oh, thank god," You sigh in relief. You attempt to wiggle around some more, hoping to get his attention this time, "Listen, can you get off me now? This kinda hur-"

You squeak softly in pain as his sharp pelvis presses against you, and you hear your name again. This time, though, the tone of his voice came out as a whine, like a soft plea.

Because of where you were positioned before you became a pea under a princess' tower of mattresses, Rodimus' lower panels rested right against your stomach. This means you can feel his panels start to bulge slightly.

Oh no, you think to yourself bleakly once again. You're not sure how similar Cybertronian anatomy is to humans, apart from a crude explanation by an engex drunk Swerve. Still, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're feeling him getting hard. Putting two-and-two together using two out of the five senses, you've realised that Rodimus is nearly boner deep in a wet dream.

And not to assume, but you're thinking that the star of the show is you.

It's also the wrong time to cackle to yourself about getting crushed by your crush.

You might have some issues to work out after with Rung.

"Oh fuck," You reasonably panic, trying to push against his heavy frame weakly with your pinned arms, "Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

You start to thrash against Rodimus when your arms fail, your tiny body rubbing up against him. This doesn't help at all, you've come to realise but actually digs you in a deeper hole as he begins to rock his pelvis into you.

Rodimus moans your name again as he sleepily grinds against you. Whatever he's dreaming of, it must be an insanely hot pornographic fantasy of you. The bulge grows bigger, pining you down further into the berth. He shutters and lets out a soft groan before his plating shifts, and you feel a very thick, very hard, and very hot object slide up against you.

Oh god, it's his dick.

Swerve might not have told you all the details, but he seemed to conveniently leave out how fucking huge Cybertronian cocks are.

As if you thought this couldn't get any more debilitating, you now have the head of Rodimus' spike pressing against your face. It's as if the Alaskan bull worm had slithered up between yourself and Rodimus to give you a kiss. The behemoth of baggage has already started leaking what you would believe would be the Cybertronian equivalent to pre-cum, smearing all across your face.

At this significant turn of events, you've realised you have come to a crossroads.

Either struggle and continue to wiggle and wrangle your way out from under him, but risk pleasuring him, whether or not he could feel you squirming against him anyway with how small you are compared to it. Or, the more realistic and obtainable outcome, lie still and take it until he wakes up from an orgasm.

Who are you kidding? You don't have much of a choice at all. Both options risk you drowning in alien robot cum. It's wishful thinking as Rodimus starts to rut against your entire body again.

"Y/n..." He whimpers again, though very garbled and unintelligible. Every roll of his hips causes more pre-cum to dribble against your face and down your chest, and with each, it spreads all around in between yourself and his train-sized spike. Making an absolute mess of you.

If you weren't getting humped up against right now, you would indeed find a way to kill him for ruining your only set of pajamas.

"Rodimus-" You gag as a spurt of pre-cum falls into your mouth, "Guh- Rodimus stop-"

His work of venting increases, and so does his rutting. The comatose mech gasps and hitches his breath, oblivious to your cries and pleas for him to stop. He pushes up against you in heated desperation, fucking into your soft body like a grind pad.

"Rodimus! Wake the fuck up!" You start to heat up yourself; the increased pressure and friction of his plating will give you a fucked up version of carpet burn if he doesn't wake up. Sweat drips from your skin, adding even more lubricant to his incessant grinding.

"Wha- Oh, Primus!" Rodimus rears his drool-covered helm and cries out in equal confusion and unrestrained pleasure. He's woken up by his overload as he shoots his load up against you, flooding the minimal empty space left between you both with hot transfluid.

"Oh god-" You couldn't close your mouth in time when a spurt of transfluid hit you in the face, causing you to cough and spit it back out, only for more to splat you in the face.

Rodimus moans tiredly, shuttering violently as his spike pulses and leaks the remainder of his overload against the berth.

Or what he thought was the berth. Since when did he use a self-service mod on his spike? Especially when he shares a room with-

"Hey!" Cough, "Are you done?"

His optics slam open in horrific realisation.

"Oh no," Rodimus rolls over onto his back, his softened wet spike flopping against his abdominal plating, "Oh no, no, no..."

He looks down where he once lay, and his face plates flush a bright blue. Laying in a puddle of his transfluids was you, his little human, sopping wet with a highly unimpressed look on your tiny face.

"Oh Primus, Y/n," Rodimus scoops you up in his servos, gently tossing you from hand to hand as he wrings them off his transfluids, "I am so sorry, I- frag what was I thinking!" Rodimus babbles and holds you to his face, "Are you okay? God, I'm so stupid-"

"Ughh," You lay limply in his palm, exhausted and out of breath, "After that... I don't know anymore."

Rodimus hides his blush with a servo before pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'm glad you're okay, but what were you doing down there?"

"Great question," You lift your head up to deadpan him, then eventually drag yourself to sit up. Sticky, pink transfluid drips down your body. Your face, and hair, are all drenched in him, "It's not like you rolled over in your sleep and had me pinned for nearly half an hour. What the hell?"

Rodimus blinks, and his face turns a deeper shade of blue as he rubs the back of his neck, "Oh, so that's why I had that dream about you..."

Is he serious right now?

"Oh, you think?" You wipe your lip when it starts to drip into your mouth, "I think I could tell when you started moaning my name in your sleep."

"Well, you're just so tiny and soft and-" The red and yellow mech bites the knuckles of the servo not holding you in embarrassment. "But what was I supposed to do, huh? Hold it in?"

God, he is.

"I'm literally gonna kill you, Rodimus." You shiver, his transfluids cooling against your skin. You can't believe he dares to look you in the eye, "I am never begging to nap with you ever again, or maybe at least warn me next time."

"No offense taken," Rodimus nods in agreement for once, watching you wring your hair out, "I'm sorry, Y/n, I really am. I can help clean you up? As a sincere apology from yours truly?"

"As long as I don't come into contact with more of this stuff," You flick a bead of transfluid off your finger into his direction, "And you better be sorry, or it'll be a long time before I might actually let you fuck me."

"Wait, you'll what-" Splat, "EWUGH!!"

[tinydefector]

I was just interested if you were a suckered for the clothing and fabric and perfume trope as I am. In the sense where fabrics and a abundance of organic flora was considered more common for higher class cybertronains but that even then it was pretty scarce. Imagine a bot or con after getting over their fears or mild disgust of the squishness of humans so to speak the next few things they notice is how many types of hair there are. How many styles and how many different ways to dye said hair. It drives them nuts the feel such softer fibers all together to make a more denser form. Curled,staight,wavy it all catches their optics. Painted nails almost similar to paint for their frames. Tattoos so intriguing. A human willingly damaging their surface that is more fragile than their metallic frames. It's a living scar. And they can't help but slowly come to love it to when they see how much their human complain does. But fabric? God they almost get drunk off of it. When they get a hug they shiver at the smooth article that brushes on their frame. The variety. So many styles and colors. So many meaning behind patterns and techniques. They can't help but almost grow jealous hearing how far back a simple stich can come from in human history. Humanity dressing itself in plush silks and flimsy polyester but it's all gold compared to what the cybertronains have come to crave. Imagine them having made themselves smaller so they could be inside your living space and they can't help but notice all the fabrics. All the plush surfaces. Their in heaven fully convinced they're going to meet the great primes. And if you had a scented burning candle? Sweet or citrus they can't help but want to inhale deeply to capture the scent. Perfumes? God their drunk whenever a human walks into a enclosed space because all mechs and femmes are fighting themselves to not snatch you up and keep you. If you use scented body wash or scented lotion then can practically taste it on your skin if you are near or hug them. They crave it when it's late at night and they've got you sobbing and thighs shaking as they kiss and lap at your scented thighs. And if theirs multiple humans in a space? That almost has a bot slurring their words as iff they just had the best energon. Just some thoughts haha I'm very sorry it's so long. I'm just a suckered for all these headcanons and just how while they may be disgusted and have hatred for humanity some fo them can't help but swoon for so many qualitys of their human companions that are nothing like their skin. So soft and complaint and so very warm at heart.

So I do have some fics on this stuff one is

Ratchet x reader. Involving perfumes effecting cybertronians like a sex potion or sex pollen.

Then I have

Starscream x reader. Involving the infamous dress and him testing out different outfits on his partner.

This small collection of bots reacting to nipple piercings (was like my first fic I ever wrote here)

_________________

I am quite a sucker for the clothing and fabric and perfume trope. I really enjoy writing cybertronians who adore seeing their partner drapped in shimmering fabrics. Becuase to the human its could just be a satin sheet, but to the cybertronian it is luxury, it showcases so much about you and every chance they get they love getting to just feel or touch the fabrics.

Imagine: your cybertronian is sat on theirs berth which is a mix of almost foam matting(yoga mat/ expanding foam) They don't lay on just metal but it's not particularly comfortable for their human. So one day, they introduced them to memory foam, and its like the bots world has opened up. It becomes a soft, comfortable recharge. But as you start bringing sheets, blankets, and your pillows, it makes the bots feel as if they are falling in love. They love it when you drape the soft fabric over them and make yourself almost a next on their chassis with the soft bedding. To they it feels like a luxury that you are pampering them even if it's just to make yourself more comfortable. It's the fact you leave them in their suite on their berth take makes their spark clench in delight knowing you'll be coming back.

I also tend to write cybertronains have alot more nasal sensors and detectors to the point they can break down the partials to annalise them. The smell of fresh lining is something that effects them almost like catnip with a cat. They will roll around in the fabric optics wide. Engines roaring in delight. As their joints squeak and clank against the walls.

I also love writing that Fabric was something that only the Highest of society had on cybertron, but mainly due to have small the fibers are it is extremely hard for cybertronains to replicate the material, so it fetched for high prices when Imported from organic planets. If you were of the lower classes, you would be lucky if you had a tarp or some sort of soft plastic as it was also still very sort after. So you can imagine how the cybertronains reacted once on earth, even while undercover. Fabric is such a huge part of human culture that cybertronians, when they find even just a pretty scrap of Fabric, keep it as a token. As if to say "frag you" to the universe.

But I can also see a human finding the stash of Fabric cut off's and offering to sew them all together in an almost patchwork like blanket for their bot and you can bet your ass you will have that cybertronian on thier knees worshipping you for it.

______

"Hey, we have hail forecasted," their voice calls out to the vehicle parked in the driveway. The cybertronian is rather quiet as they register what was said to them. "It isn't acid rain, so it won't be anything too bad." they try to argue only to have a large old blanket thrown over them. "Hey, what are you doing?" It sends shock throught their system having something so soft drapped over their frame.

"I'm covering you up so you don't get hail damage, I sadly can't get you into the garage at the moment so the next best thing I can do is cover you up with some blankets and a tarp so you don't get damaged by ice falling out of the sky" they explain as they throw another over the vehicle. Making sure to fully cover the bot before throwing a waterproof tarp over them, too. "Sorry, I don't have anything better than this, but it will keep you dry and our of harm's way." Those words hit their spark in a way they never would have thought it would. They are left almost speechless, cosy, and somewhat warm as the hailstorm rolls in.

________________

When it comes to hair colour, skin colour, and tattoos. It fascinates them so much to see such diversity and colour on a species they originally believed to be quite dull. It gets to the point when making their holoform avatars they love exploring and expressing themselves as if making a sims character. Even going as far as some get custom paint jobs of the tattoos, they get on their avatars because, for them, it's the closest thing they can have to tattoos. But think about you getting a tattoo in a shop right across from where your cybertronian partner is getting their paint job because it was a cute couples day out.

And don't get me started on how much cybertronians love human's hair. The fibers are so different to them and they love the feeling of it, they just have to be very careful when running a digit theought thier lovers hair as to not get it jammed in the joints causing you pain.

Another thing that cybertronians are fascinated by is humans' willingness to injure themselves in the name of beauty. From tattoos, piercings, injections, and surgery. In honesty, it's not that different from frame ulteration, but they don't know how a human can do it. The bots can turn their pain sensors off while humans are just soldier on through it.

I love the idea that the bots also horde car freshners that their humans get them. It becomes a full-on pokemon card situation of them trading double ups, begging their partner to get them others so they can rub it in their friends' faces. But air freshners weren't a thing until Earth, and the bots love how it makes their frame smell different from the oil, grease, and car smell.

But perfumes gods I love the idea that perfumes have a certain chemical reaction to Cybertronian systems to the point to turns them into a raging horny bot who can't get enough of how your skin taste and how desperately they try to literally lick the perfume off your skin as if it were the riches and most expensive high grade energex on the market. It also leads to a lot of personal working with the bots not being allowed to wear perfume/cologne. Deodorants don't affect them the same way, but they also enjoy how they smell quite a bit.

But yes I love the idea of perfumes pretty much working like a pheromone spray and don't get me started on actual pheromones spray, your not leaving that bots berth for atleast 3 days, they will bring you food, water and anything you want but it literally overrides their system protocol and makes them desperate to breed you.

In conclusion, DO NOT wear perfume or Pheromone spray near the bots unless you don't intend to be leaving the berth for at least 3 days if not more becyase they can and will keep you their.

________________

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[revelboo]

would you ever write for brainstorm or first aid 🫣🫣 they are my favs but i barely see anything written for them 😭😭.,. hope you have a great day/night and i love your writing so much !!

They’re both on the list, I’m just…. Very backlogged

The boys

My Way

Brainstorm x Reader

• Venting in irritation as Drift and Rodimus both glower at him, he pulls his glass closer and salutes Swerve with it. That one at least isn’t angry with him. The rest of the crew? Angry is putting it lightly. And if they knew the first human had been intentional? A test run on his invention to see how living matter would handle being displaced? That it had been humans at all had been a surprise, but given how many of them there are, he supposes it was a toss up on what he’d get. Humans or say, mice. And it had worked. It just hadn’t stopped working.

• Still. Had heard through Tailgate that another human had popped into existence with Rung even though that residual effect shouldn’t still be ongoing. This makes no sense, but he’s not about to admit that he’s not sure what’s going on anymore than he’s going to admit he snatched that first organic on purpose. Because some of the crew are weirdly protective of the little things. He can’t get the fascination. Tiny, weak, and fragile, they’re just organics. There’s organic life on hundreds of worlds. What makes these squishies so special?

• Leaning his chin on a fist, he watches Swerve’s little human wander around the top of the bar. Too little to actually help out. Just getting in the way. As if feeling his stare, they turn to look at him and smile. Maybe that’s it. Those weirdly Cybertronian expressions of theirs. It’s unsettling for sure. Finishing his drink, he heads back to his habsuite and stretches out on his berth. Sooner or later, the effect has to stop. Until then, the chaos is its own entertainment.

• Between one breath and the next, you’re ripping apart at the seams. One minute you’re chopping carrots and the next, you cant breathe, can’t scream as the pain tears through you. And then you’re sprawled on something warm and hard, heart racing and vision graying at the edges. Mind just a confused tangle as you lie there hurting and it’s almost a relief when you pass out cold.

• Groaning, his head tips at the feel of something gently thumping against his chassis while recharging and he’s disoriented for a klik. Wondering if Rodimus or someone else snuck in on him still angry about the humans. But his habsuite is quiet. What had that been? Lifting a hand, he brushes something soft. No. Head dipping, he stares down at the little, limp human lying there on him. The human that had just blipped randomly into existence. And then he says every swear word he knows in every language he knows.

Next

[hoiststowline]

hello! just wanted to say that i really adore your writing. between the ultra magnus fic (winter of our youth) and the hound blurb, you are seriously cooking! thank you so much for your effort and your time!

if it wouldn't be too much to ask, could you possibly write another first kiss scenario with Hot Rod/ Rodimus?

anyway, hope you are doing well! and drinking lots of water! and thank you again <3

[a/n: omg hi!! this has been in my inbox for a hot minute and I owe you my sincerest apologies !! no thank you so so much!! absolutely, of course!! I hope you’re doing great and thank you so much, you are so kind ily 🫶]

rodimus prime x reader

though somewhat of a flirt, it’s difficult to find the line between where friendship ends and a more romantic relationship begins. you mean what you say, but can't quite figure out if he does, always quick to change the subject if he blurts something rather sentimental out loud. he's too far in to try and rationalize anything anymore, yet he's possessive over you and your feelings. he finds himself in the same boat- he can't decipher if the banter is legitimate, so his immediate reflex is to assume it isn't.

but his emotions are all over the place, and falls victim to a viscous cycle of vying for your attention and love, only to convince himself he is going to lose it. your frustrations is your own, you don't quite fathom how to navigate this tangled red string. there's no one to confess this rampaging development to, so instead, you opt to let it go and take it as if it's meant to be, it'll work itself out.

you're partial to falling asleep in Rodimus' room. it's often waiting up for him or just because most of your things have migrated there over the course of your stay. your schedules are staggered at certain points, so some days, it isn't until the evening that you see each other that isn't a quick greeting in passing.

the lights are off when he returns, well past a practical hour to expect you awake. it's a shame, too, because he had about five hours worth of catch-up to do with you, and it'd have to wait until the morning. but he'd hold back, even as much as his patience wanned, just wanting to talk your ear off.

but you're curled up in a ball, fast asleep as he watches your chest rise, then fall in a rhythmic pattern. it's comforting, it not only calms him, but it releases some of the pent up stress that had gathered throughout the day. perhaps this is the first time Rodimus has actually taken a moment to observe how peaceful you are. how beautiful you look, and how easy it appeared to divulge his feelings now, because there was no possibility for you to say no.

there was no chance of rejection here, so it made sense for lots of stifled tenderness and sentimentality to make its way to the surface. carefully, he lowers himself behind you, moving with a gentleness and dexterity to ensure no noise sounded, in fear of waking you up. Rodimus had a million tasks that needed to be completed in the next few hours, but none of them really mattered.

while a goofball, there's a moment of seriousness and clarity in your first kiss, even though you don't realize that it happens. it occurs when he leans over, and leaves the ghost of a kiss just at the crown of your head. it's nothing, negligible at best, and he wouldn't doubt if you were awake, you'd have hardly felt it.

it's not meant to be romantic. it's a greeting, a goodbye, a good night, just so you could know he was there and wasn't going anywhere. while one for dramatics, this was a softer side that only a few were familiar with.

in the morning, he'd confess his true emotions in your regard. but for now, this was good enough for him, and you needed your sleep.

[showstopper35]

Honey Sun (arranged marriage to Megatron, part two)

Part One

a/n: a whole two people asked for part two! @yrsfch and @sleepisapriviligethatidonthave thanks! This story is giving me back my love of writing.

cw: implied masturbation, but not much else. a whole lot of silence.

-Days melted into weeks, months, years….centuries. The war raged on, and I was reduced to a princess in a castle. He never came back after that night. Suddenly called to the front, people said. Part of me thought it was a way to be rid of me. After all, neither of us had wanted this. Why was I expecting him to come back? No honeymoon for a puppet.

-And now the war was over. News of your death was a blow, but it was an even bigger one hearing that you had returned. Sure, Starscream ruled Cybertron. Shockwave was gone. But now you were on trial. They said they were letting you hold off on all your crimes. You hadn’t mentioned a divorce. Or even me. Not even when they asked me if I thought you were guilty. Not even when I said yes. They said you were going on a ship full of Autobots. They said I was to come with you. Optimus’s orders. Notice how Optimus never married?

-I followed, because I had no choice. Packed up my things and set them in our shared room. I saw that there was only one large berth, because of course. We were married. I was married to one everyone called a monster. -The next few days passed in total silence. No words were spoken between us. You were never there, of course. At night you recharged with your back facing me. My back faced yours. -I was surprised it ached so much. After all, I should be more than used to this by now. But maybe the fact that you were here made it worse. So close, and yet not enough. Sharing a berth again didn’t mean our marriage was fixed. So much for the great intervention of Optimus Prime. You can’t salvage two broken pieces.

-I’d taken to reading near you on the bridge, or in the bar. Sometimes Rodimus tried to talk to me, but my one-word answers put him off. I think he pitied me. Ultra Magnus politely asked me how I was and left it at that. I could imagine you being friends with him. If you even had friends. -I remember once that Rodimus had glared at you, not-so-subtly flicking his eyes over to me. With a heavy sigh, you had asked how I slept. “Fine. You?” “Fine as well.” He gave Rodimus a cold stare. We didn’t speak the rest of the day.

-I should mention here that centuries of being alone has made me rather good at…entertaining myself. I only do this when you’re not here, of course, but I think you can tell. Averted gaze when you come back to our room, finding my face slightly flushed. I can’t tell if you do it too. -We continue this silent dance, waiting for the other to finally crack the canyon between us. I know it’s going to me, eventually. I can���t be alone for centuries more. I start imagining talking with you…being with you. I’m probably going crazy just because of the newer bit of contact. -I start accidentally brushing against you in your sleep. Whispering “Good morning”, only to be met with a gruff hum of acknowledgment. Little glances at you while you read, or talk with Rodimus. Once, I smile at you, and I know that you froze for a second before turning away.

- I want more. -Maybe I do want this.

———————————————————————————-

Part Three

[drabbletron]

Bots and the Zoomies! FLUFF

|| Cleaning/editing old things and found this. Fluff be upon ye! ||

Hound: Is confused as to what’s gotten into but, when you tell him it’s a human thing, he absolutely loves it. Will play along and is very careful not to hurt you. Is especially fond of you squishing yourself up against him or try to tickle him (go for the neck!). Loves when you finally crash and fall asleep curled up next to him. Trailbreaker: He thinks it is the cutest thing and plays along into it. Will gently wrestle you with his hand and cage you on his chest between his servos. Sometimes he'll use his forcefields to block where you run to and others he’s ok to lay still while you run all over him. Has been known to trap you in a little bubble to see you run across the floor like a hamster in a ball. Bluestreak: Is kinda confused but doesn't mind in the slightest. He likes to mass displace so you can be all over him and that way he can hold you when you finally settle down. Sometimes he's the one that starts the zoomies and tries to play with you. It helps him wind down too and shows him everything is ok. Swerve: 100% loves it. He loves when you climb all over him and give him funny little kisses. Will tickle you every time and wrestle a bit with you. It’s a size thing really, and he’s never been happier to be short. Has only ever dropped you off the berth once and he felt terrible, but you never stopped laughing, that got him laughing. Likes being slap happy with you. Hoist: Has no idea what’s going on but laughs with you anyway, and it always surprises him whenever it happens. Likes hearing you laugh while you play with his hands and will take the time to examine you too. Having you on him is just a reassurance that you’re there and he’s not alone. Loves being near you really and this only livens up his day. Rodimus: He also gets the zoomies and always joins in when you get silly. It’s refreshing to him that you play like he does and that he doesn’t need to be serious. Has a great time and likes play wrestling with you be it using his hands to chase you around the berth or mass displacing to tickle you. It’s always a good time and you’re both usually tuckered out by the end. Great way to end the day.

[in1-nutshell]

Concept, mtmte Megatron accidentally adopts young human buddy.

Like there's basically just a teenager on the lost light, and because teenagers have no fear of death, they go out of their way to interact with the ex-warlord.

Time goes on, and eventually, when Megatron realizes the dynamic he has, he goes into a typical angsty brooding session. Bonus points if it has Brooklyn 99 energy of Peralta accidently calling holt 'dad' energy.

I really do enjoy your blog because a lot of the stuff is either platonic or familial, and that's my favorite shit. Hope you have a good day and drink water.

Thank you for the compliment! I have been drinking water and been having a pretty decent day. Now, Human Buddy who knows no fear is about to strike the fear of their well being upon others! Megatron is their prime target...

Hope you enjoy!

Megatron 'accidentally' adopting human Buddy who fears nothing

SFW, familial, platonic, mentions of injuries but nothing graphic or in details, Human reader

MTMTE/LL

Oh, Buddy starts off as the bane of his existence.

Buddy joins the lost light before the events of Delphi happen. Meaning they have been dealing with everyone’s problems since a little over day one.

Let’s give Buddy some context.

By sheer luck, Buddy managed to enter the Cybertronain/ Human Liaison program and was now the proud representative in the Lost Light.

Many bots on the Lost Light thought that this would be a little liaison and would be a bit fearful of the hulking giants around them or some sleazy politician. Some were just curious as they had never seen a human until that moment.

Rodimus is preparing for a Prowl like or Magnus like person to board the bridge. That’s usually who they send when it comes to relations, except Marrisa Fairborn, she was an exception.

At first Buddy did come off as someone overly polite… that was soon going to change.

“Welcome Buddy aboard the Lost Light.”—Ultra Magnus

“Thank you, Ultra Magnus sir.”--Buddy

“And I will be your Captain! The names Rodimus Prime.”--Rodimus

“Well, I’m just Buddy. Sorry but I should be entering my room now before take-off. Thank you again for the introduction sirs. I hope to find you soon?”--Buddy

“Absolutely, we will start the meeting in an hour in the meeting room down your hall.”—Ultra Magnus

“Thank you.”--Buddy

“…Great another stick in the mud…”--Rodimus

“Oh, hush they seem like a nice human.”—Ultra Magnus

A week later

“Hey Rodimus, I bet you can throw me into that mattress over there.”--Buddy

“Oh? You’re on!”--Buddy

“I have the reports ready—OH SWEET PRIMUS! BUDDY!”—Ultra Magnus

Timeskip

“So let me get this straight… You bet Rodimus, one of the most impulsive and childish bots on bourd—”--Ratchet

“Hey!”--Rodimus

“To THROW you across the room to a small mattress and it didn’t occur to you that you could bounce off the mattress!?”--Ratchet

“Well at least all the blood is internal right? That’s were the blood is supposed to be?”--Buddy

“…”--Ratchet

“Oh Primus…”—Ultra Magnus

“Oh, Primus indeed.”--Rodimus

Buddy does not know what ‘self-preservation’ is. Its not in their vocabulary. Ratchet has lost count of the amount of times that Buddy has come in the med bay with an injury that was caused by some atrociously dumb plan.

“Alright… what’s the damage today? Whirl brought you in this time so it must be bad.”—Ratchet

“Rude.”—Buddy and Whirl

“Well, I’m waiting. What happened?”--Ratchet

“Well… I was trying to follow Skids trails through the vents, which is so cool to visit—”--Buddy

“Kid.”--Ratchet

“Right. Well, I thought I could jump across the vent opening and kind a didn’t…”--buddy

“What?”--Ratchet

“Good thing Whirl was there to break my fall! Sorry again Whirl for the glass.”--Buddy

“Next time you bust my glass at least do a flip next time you fall on your back.”--Whirl

“What you fell on your back?! You have glass imbedded in it!”--Ratchet

“Huh? That explains why my back hurts so much.”--Buddy

“…”--Ratchet

Rodimus takes it back he loves this little human. Buddy is his best human friend. Whirl wins this though, he already asked Buddy to be his Amica Endura, and they accepted!

“Hey Ratchet—”--Drift

“Shh!”--Ratchet

“Rude—”--Drift

“No. It’s quiet… to quiet…”--Ratchet

“What do you think we are going to get attack?”--Drift

“…No, it’s something much worse.”--Ratchet

“What could be worse—”--Drift

“Its Whirl and Buddy! They haven’t made noise in about 10 minutes!”--Ratchet

“Ratchet I think that them not making noise—”--Drift

BAM!

“Eat floor Cyclonus!”--Whirl

“Whirl! Run! He’s gaining on us!”--Buddy

“I stand corrected.”--Drift

They make friends with a lot of bots on board. Many are happy to meet an individual such as Buddy. But this also comes at a cost. Many bots have to watch for Buddy in case something bad happens to them. They are so small and they keep getting into dangerous situations!

Rung has a line of bots that express the same worry for Buddy one day doing something dumb and not being able to come back from it.

Buddy knows no fear.

How does the crew know this?

Buddy made it their life job to make Megatron uncomfortable when they found out he was going to be the Co-Captain.

“Hey! MegaDork!”--Buddy

“Hmm?”--Megatron

Bucket of oil falls from door.

“Theres more were that came from Bucket Head! That’s for Earth!”--Buddy

Megatron can’t do anything about it. He hates organics and he can’t kill this one, not without causing another war. When Ravage shows up, he thinks that Buddy might back down a bit. I mean what human in their right of mind would try and continue to prank him when ravage is around? Buddy takes this as a challenge that needs to be beaten. If anything, Ravage helps a bit.

“He slipped on the paint! Go! Go! Go!”--Buddy

“Ravage!?”--Megatron

“All is fair in music tapes and war Megatron.”—Ravage

Buddy has the ring tone of Megs comm to “Be Prepared” from the Lion King. Swerve helped them put in the music. He laughed nonstop when it first worked.

They are petty.

Everyone is on edge whenever those two are in the same room.

Half ready to shoot Megatron down the other half to get Buddy to safety once they manage to trigger Megatron.

Is there any chance that Megatron will get a break?

Yes, yes, he does.

He managed to finally get a place holder for a poetry night in one of the classrooms. Not to his surprise no bot shows up. He is about to leave when he hears the quick little sets of footsteps coming in.

“Wait! Wait! Hold the door! I’m here! I’m here!”--Buddy

“Buddy?”--Megatron

“I’m not late, am I? I just saw the flyer from Swerve. And—hold on—sprinted from my room back here.”--Buddy

“Oh, umm, no one came…”--Megatron

“Oh, okay then its just us two them Big Guy?”--Buddy

“Wait—”--Megatron

“Call dibs on the chair on the left.”--Buddy

Megatron never pegged Buddy to be into poetry. He is also floored with Buddy actually talking to him and giving pointers on how to improve his own pieces of work. Even referring to other poets’ works so he could get some inspiration!

He nearly misses the shy look Buddy gives when he compliments their work.

He thinks that this is a onetime thing.

He is deeply mistaken.

“Hey Megs! You ready for today’s meeting?”--Buddy

“Oh, yes I am.”--Megatron

“Good! I have a bunch of works that need to be peer reviewed and I can’t trust Rodimus to look over these; and Whirl sadly isn’t an option for these either.”--Buddy

“Why don’t you ask Magnus? Surely, he could also help?”--Megatron

“And have him explain to me the importance of an Oxford comma when I forgot to put one in my writing? Yeah no, I need your optics for this.”--Buddy

“…Me?”--Megatron

Buddy no longer causes too much trouble for the Ex-warlord. Still trouble but not as much as last time. They always come to the poetry club and even managed to snag a couple of their friends to come with.

He is not going to admit to anyone, well maybe Ravage, that he started growing a soft spot for them.

“Ravage… I think I might be growing fond of Buddy…”--Megatron

“Congratulations! You’re officially the last one to know.”--Ravage

These little interactions begin happening more and more, Megatron is just happy that things are finally going well.

Then it happened.

It was at Swerve’s.

He was sitting at the bar looking over Buddy’s latest writing with Buddy, themselves sitting patiently. He gives a compliment and gives them back the writing.

“You’ve improved Buddy. These are getting better with more time.”--Megatron

“Thanks Dad.”--Buddy

“…”--Everyone

“Why is everyone so quiet?”--Buddy

“You just called Megatron here, ‘Dad’.”--Whirl

“What’s a ‘Dad’?”--Tailgate

“No! I didn’t say ‘Dad’! I just said, ‘Thanks Man!’”--Buddy

“I don’t know Buddy. It sounded a lot like ‘Dad’ to me.”--Whirl

“Seriously, what’s a ‘Dad’?”--Tailgate

“Well, you heard wrong Whirl!”--Buddy

“Do you see me as a father figure Buddy?”--Megatron

“No! I see you as a bother figure if anything.”--Buddy

“Hey respect your Dad!”--Ratchet

“Is no one going to tell me what a ‘Dad’ is?”--Tailgate

After that interaction, Buddy begins to avoid Megatron after the confrontation and nearly shuts down when someone brings up the event. Megatron really wants to talk to buddy about the incident but decides not to. Maybe it was a mistake.

He broods over it for a while.

He finds Buddy again at Swerve’s where a rather drunk bot was making fun of Buddy for their little ‘slip up’.

“Wow Fleshy. You messed be so messed up in the processor to call Megatron your Dad.”—Drunk Bot

“Hey drop it.”--Buddy

“Oh, look at me! I’m so scared of a human how I could flick across the room if I wanted to.”—Drunk Bot

“Oh, please I know that barely existing processor of yours isn’t that dumb. But even then, I hope Natural selection takes you if you follow through that threat.”—Buddy

It was getting to the point where it was becoming insensitive.

Bots around were getting uneasy at the conversation and some looked like they were going to come over and do something.

Megatron is quicker.

As he strides over, he is met with the infamous brick of parenthood. Should he really take up such a mantle?

He takes that mantle by the horns and makes it his.

“My child, is something wrong?”--Megatron

Voice crack “Nope. Just Peachy.”--Buddy

Everyone looks over.

Buddy is just beaming.

Megatron has no regrets saying what he said, he lets Buddy know this.

No, Buddy isn’t crying. You’re the one crying.

[ghoulz4foolz]

Drift Playlist

It's been A While, but I completely revamped by Drift playlist. It's in chronological order from Dead End to the end of the events of Lost Light and broken up by time periods/major events. I have lots of notes and explanations for almost every single song under the cut (fair warning it is LONG, so only look at the stuff under the cut if you're interested or you'll be scrolling for a while). Please feel free to chat w me about any of it bc I am so very passionate. Cover art is also mine!

PRE-WAR/DEAD END 1. Bug Like an Angel - Mitski 2. Junkie Church - AJJ 3. Cocaine Jesus - RKS -honestly can also double for when Drift is in exile. I feel like it's super applicable thinking about his friends from Dead End and his general situation, but also later after he leaves the LL and is thinking about Rodimus 4. Camisado - P!ATD -who tf is caring about the guttermechs? Again, this would also be a good Deadlock song 5. Runs in the Family - Amanda Palmer (sorry ik I also hate her) 6. Brand New City - Mitski -what can I say, Megatron gave him purpose DRIFT, MEET RATCHET 7. Wretch - Autoheart -Specifically when Drift meets Ratchet in the Dead End clinic on Rodion 8. Underground - Cody Fry 9. Back To Life - Mother Mother -This feels very.... mmm Dead End to me. Very "fuck you, I'll do what I want" 10. Arms Tonite - Mother Mother 11. LIE WITH WOLVES - The Dogs on Shepard Street -”I’ll see you in my brothers, I’ll see you in the end” -”lie with dogs and you’ll get fleas. Lie with wolves and you’ll get teeth” DECEPTICON DEADLOCK 12. The Killing Type - Amanda Palmer (sorry againnnn) -I know he didn't exactly feel... bad? while he was first joined up. Just indulge me here 13. Cirice - Ghost -Megatron is Very Convincing. I'd revolt too. 14. Washing Machine Heart - Mitski -unfortunately, I read a great fic where Deadlock and Megatron kinda had smth going during the earlier war days and this song just feels Right. -Additionally, fitting for post-exile abt Roddy 15. Nicotine - P!ATD -see above 16. War Pigs/Luke’s Wall - Black Sabbath -”Politicians hide themselves away. They only started the war, why should they go out and fight?” 17. King For A Day - Pierce The Veil 18. Black Sheep - Dorothy 19. Girl is a Gun - Halsey -also one of my Starscream songs 20. Damonisch - TUYU -perfect fast-paced slasher 21. Set Me On Fire - Flyleaf 22. Cocoa Hooves - Glass Animals -cross-faction romance? on my playlist? -"You never fight back"... oh like a Medic? Who's job is healing regardless of alignment? 23. Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA -see above 24. Headlock - Imogen Heap -”got your heart in a [Dead]lock”? Sorry that was SO cheesy 25. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off 26. Punk Tactics - Joey Valence & Brae 27. Centuries - FoB -oooooh the DJD wants you so bad 28. Little Pistol - Mother Mother -maybe having little change of heart? perhaps getting stuck with the Circle of Light?

FACTIONLESS ON EARTH/WRECKERS TIME 29. Liquid Smooth - Mitski 30. Hungover in the City of Dust - Autoheart 31. Clean - Woolbright 32. Impostor Syndrome - Sidney Gish -I really like the idea he learned a lot abt human culture and racing etc. on Earth. It was probably lonely, but he got a fresh start. 33. Being so Normal - Peach Pit  -Still, it must be hard being so far removed from the settings you've known all your life 34. Daniel In The Den - Bastille -maybe both sides are flawed and people are complicated 35. The Distance - Cake -specifically about his drag racing days, ik it’s a little out of place, but it fits well w the songs after DRIFT DEFECTS/AUTOBOT DRIFT/MTMTE 36. Crusader - Stevie Howie -mmmm yes some good rock 37. Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin 38. This Is Why We Fight - The Decemberists 39. Allies or Enemies - The Crane Wives -certainly, he has some conflicting feelings about his new “allies” DRATCHET MTMTE 40. Oxford Blood - Autoheart -ESPECIALLY early Dratchet where they weren't quite together, but they were close pre-EOS 41. Body Terror Song - AJJ -look, ik Drift takes care of himself Now, but he certainly didn't always and I'm sure there was some lasting damage -I also like to hc he kept his 'con claws as a reminder of who he was before. I assume Autbots wouldn't look upon that too favorably 42. A Sadness Runs Through Him - The Hoosier -ooooh Ratchet wants to fix him so bad 43. The Soldiering Life - The Decemberists - I have a LOT to say about this. I know Drift and Ratchet didn't exactly serve together (except kinda in All Hail Megatron). Still, just listen to it and you will Understand. EXILE 44. Which Witch - Florence + The Machine -”I’m on trial, waiting ‘til the beat comes out” -”Who’s a heretic now?” -It's Perfect. you just Know he was mad even with all the other mixed emotions 45. Sucker’s Prayer - The Decemberists -it’s really perfect for this period of time -”I was not ready for the road. I was so discontent to wear that heavy load” -”I wanna love somebody, but I don’t know how” 46. Losing my Religion - REM -oh Boy. Self explainatory. 47. Drop the Guillotine - Peach Pit -thinkin' about how Rodimus sold him out as a scapegoat. Was being captain that important? 48. Working for the Knife - Mitski 49. Cleopatra - The Lumineers -Drift realizing just how much he really liked Ratchet, how they practically started the Conjunx Ritus before he left without even realizing. -Insert Specralist guilt here 50. A Pearl - Mitski 51. Mr. Loverman - Ricky Montgomery

EMPIRE OF STONE 52. Heartbreaker - Autoheart -I'd be pretty emotional too if the person I loved most in the world, who I never confessed to, travelled across space to come bring me back home. Even more so when my Amica didn't even consider it. 53. Drop in the Ocean - Ron Pope 54. Someone To Stay - Vancouver Sleep Clinic 55. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men 56. Sleep On The Floor - The Lumineers -"leave a note on your bed, let your mother know you're safe" that of write the new CMO a note and go get your soon-to-be husband 57. The Sailor Song -this is my CD/Rewind song, but it belongs here too. 58. Drops of Jupiter - Train -honestly, this is more about Ratchet than Drift, but it felt fitting 59. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman -"Anyplace is better; starting from 0 we got nothin to lose" 60. World War Me - Kind and Queen of the Losers -"so tell me, baby- will you love me if I lose? Will you love me even if I lose?" 61. G.I.N.A.S.F.S. - FoB 62. We Can Build A Fire - Autoheart -”Who in your right mind did you think you’d find- your guardian angel?” -this one was rly hard to place bc it could go so many places POST EOS DRATCHET 63. Benjamin Alphabet - Super Whatevr -healing together takes time and energy! 64. You are the Moon - The Hush Sound 65. Me and My Husband - Mitski -with a positive interpretation, minimal angst intended -even when your best friend writes you off, you'll still always have your grumpy husband 66. Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie -the Dratchet song ever 67. Sunlight -Spending thousands of years on a war that did nothing but cause pain and suffering really makes a person think about how valuable enduring love and devotion are 68. Female Doctor - Miniature Tigers 69. I’ll Rust With You - Steam Powered Giraffe 70. Laughter Lines - Bastille -this will make me SOB if I think about it too long. GEN/LOST LIGHT 71. Calamity Song - The Decemberists 72. Angel With a Shotgun - The Cab -see Lost Light #1 73. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty 74. Moscow - Autoheart -my Lost Light anthem!! 75. In Our Bedroom After the War - Stars -"at least the war is over" 76. I'm Still Standing - Elton John -boy isn't he 77. I Know The End - Phoebe Bridgers 78. Life Eternal - Ghost -yeah. all of this. 79. Bitter Water - The Oh Hellos

[blueikeproductions]

Sentinel Prime also has an interesting conceptual history.

Also interesting is how he managed to be the main villain of two movies in the film series.

His origins lie in the Marvel comics, simply being the name of the guy who was in charge before Optimus, when the comics took the lead set by Rodimus in the original movie, and started setting up a proto-Prime lineage.

For the most part, Sentinel remained a comics only character, as the 80’s cartoon never had a Sentinel, instead using its own lineage consisting of various nameless generics.

Though modern material has retroactively declared this fella is the cartoon Sentinel.

Sadly this design and his rad space rhino truck mode has yet to be immortalized in toy form.

Sentinel’s personality didn’t start getting fleshed out until the Dreamwave era, where most material painted him as powerful, kind and a revered figure among the Autobots. Like Rodimus in the cartoon, Optimus felt inadequate stepping into the role Sentinel left behind.

Sentinel’s more pompous arrogance didn’t become common place until Animated’s version.

Originally more of a goofy friendly jock in his boot camp days, but after a falling out with Optimus during an off the books trip for treasure hunting that saw Elita lost and Optimus take responsibility for Sentinel’s stupidity, the big chinned bot became more entitled and bullheaded, unwilling to accept his own mistakes to look bad in front of Ultra Magnus. Developing a phobia of organics from the giant spider aliens, Sentinel isn’t exactly a people person, not winning over the citizens of Detroit like Optimus did during his time in Earth. This Sentinel would get increasingly desperate trying to make himself look better over Optimus who had won over Ultra Magnus, but usually this wound up backfiring for him like when the Headmaster cut his head off and took over his body. Sentinel got a bit lucky when Shockwave attacked Ultra Magnus, allowing Sentinel to become acting Magnus to lead Cybertron. This saw strict curfews and fear mongering propaganda, mostly about organics and Decepticons to Ratchet and Alpha Trion’s annoyance. In Sentinel’s brashness, he almost unwittingly destroyed Cybertron when attempting to shoot down an unstable Omega Supreme controlled by Megatron, leaking Transwarp energy that’d fry the planet if attacked. When Optimus’ crew came back to Cybertron with Megatron, the missing Protoforms, the Allspark and Omega Supreme they were regarded as heroes, but Sentinel wasn’t impressed, doubling down on how HE was Magnus over Optimus. In the semi but not totally official Trial of Megatron script reading years after the finale though, a dying Ultra Magnus officially appointed Optimus as the true Magnus, which only made Sentinel more desperate, getting fooled by Megatron into being put on a trial that ultimately ended in the Decepticon’s favor.

While a blowhard from top to bottom, TFA Sentinel was still trying to do what he felt was right to protect Cybertron, something that would influence his movie counterparts.

Pry the most well known version besides Animated Sentinel, the DotM version was initially a mix of his Dreamwave version and Star Trek Spock (cuz he’s voiced by Leonard Nimoy).

The IDW movie comics fill in some extra gaps, as Sentinel was a direct descendant of the Primes, and supposedly the last. Leading Cybertron into a prosperous age alongside his “sons” Optimus and Megatron.

Sentinel also fixed an issue that was never fully resolved from ROTF, where special technology was developed with Wheeljack in order to tether a sun to Cybertron, re-energizing the Allspark without needing to destroy it, and powering the planet. Turns out solar power was the answer still, the original Primes just… misunderstood it. The seeds of the eventual Great War were planted however when Megatron overheard Sentinel and Optimus talking, and grew jealous, as Sentinel revealed to Optimus he too was a descendant of the Primes, and is set to take over when Sentinel steps down.

Although it seemed Sentinel had died when the Ark seemingly exploded, he survived and his ship crashed on the Moon of Earth, kick starting the movie. While the Autobots were thrilled to see their old leader back, hoping the tech the Ark held could stop the war, their joy turned to horror when Sentinel Prime revealed he intended to bleed Earth dry, having made a pact with Megatron to save Cybertron in this way. The comics fill in the gaps by better tying it with RotF, where Sentinel and Megatron’s interests aligned, and they decided to go to Earth, the site of the final Star Harvester to complete The Fallen’s goals to save Cybertron.

DotM Sentinel was a noble being and a strong patriot of Cybertron. Like TFA Sentinel, he did what he felt was right, but unlike TFA Sentinel, he employed a form of tough love towards the end, realizing Optimus didn’t have the ball bearings to do what was necessary to win the war. Only too late did Sentinel realize Optimus actually DID when the Prime was pushed too far and shot his former teacher and beheaded his opportunistic brother.

Sentinel falls further in IDW, where due to a lot of retcons and current political events at the time, the orange and red IDW Sentinel Prime was the first instance of a false Prime. Originally an opportunistic Titan Master called Infinitus, he served the ancient Primes and vowed to keep their teachings alive: by keeping the weak in their place with the “good” insuring it. He took on the alias Sentinel and slowly rose to Prime rank, ensuring Cybertron kept its suffocating limitations like the Clampdown and Functionism in place. After being beaten by Megatron, and left for dead, Infinitus merely abandoned his old Transtector in secret (leading the Autobots to be confused how Sentinel was beheaded), and sought to build a new one to continue his plans. Disgusted at post war Cybertron, where the Transformers were slowly unifying with each other and the “disgusting” Colonists and aliens, Sentinel decided to make Cybertron great again by tearing it all down using the power of the Metrotitans. This didn’t go as intended and saw Sentinel die for good, but it did indirectly see the release of Liege Maximo Prime, who had been sealed away in his own MetroTitan that was needed to stop the lobotomized Citybots that Sentinel managed to send to Cybertron.

There was a brief reprieve in IDW’s poorly received reboot, where its Sentinel returned to the just but firm DOTM Sentinel prewar, with the impatience and boldness of TFA Sentinel. This Sentinel wasn’t a racist nitwit, as he led a cultural potluck on Cybertron consisting of other colonists both Transformer and organic aliens. Optimus worked as a political aide alongside Sentinel, and ultimately inherited the Matrix when the big guy was killed by the Rainmaker Decepticons.

Aligned Sentinel is a bit of a mess, because he was originally called Zeta Prime, but they wound up trying to have it both ways calling him Sentinel Zeta, with his younger self looking like TFA Sentinel, but his WFC design being completely unrelated. I’m saving him for Zeta Prime’s entry, but the main thing inherited from this version was being installed as a Prime by the Quintessons.

But now via, TFONE, Sentinel has fully embraced his villainous heritage. A blend of all the major Sentinels, DOTM and TFA visually and IDW personality wise, he inherits his Prime role from the Quints like Aligned. The main difference is Aligned Sentinel Zeta wised up and chased off the Quintessons, TFONE Sentinel sought to bargain with them for personal gain.

A former aide to the Primes similar to IDW, he instead grew jealous of their glory and power, wanting it for himself. He got his wish when the Quintessons invaded, secretly working for them to destroy the Primes and steal the Matrix. Once the deed was done, Sentinel instead took Megatronus’ T-Cog as a trophy as the Matrix spirited itself away from the unworthy blowhard. Creating an elaborate lie to the clueless populace, Sentinel painted himself as a hero who chased off the Quints and ushered in a new era for Cybertron, creating a new generation of diligent (Cogless) wokers to mine Energon, while he “led” expeditions to find the Matrix that was “lost” in the fight. In truth, he was paying off the Quintessons in Energon, though even Sentinel was forced to admit the arrangement was barely leaving the Transformers with anything.

His downfall came when the main heroes witnessed his dirty dealings, and heard the truth from a still alive Alpha Trion, with D-16 out for mech fluid. While Orion succeeded in showing the populace the lies Sentinel told Cybertron, that wasn’t enough for D-16, who first hand witnessed Sentinel’s mask coming off, his true cruel nature exposed at last. Sentinel was perfectly content in wanting to murder the rebellious High Guard and naughty Miners that fell out of line, wanting to use them as an example by massaging the truth. After all, the truth on Cybertron has always been what Sentinel wanted it to be.

While Orion didn’t want a murder (I assume Orion figured Sentinel would just be thrown in jail while Cybertron restructured itself), and took a shot for Sentinel, it was all for naught, as D-16 killed Sentinel anyway, and took back Meg Prime’s Cog, installing it in himself to fully evolve into Megatron.

TFONE Sentinel took the worst traits of his predecessors, becoming the embodiment of what a truly bad Prime looks like. Notably, Sentinel’s actions absolve Megatronus and Liege Maximo of their own counterparts’ misdeeds, putting all of Cybertron’s problems on Sentinel Prime only (barring any retcons in future sequels). Depending on what future stuff may do, perhaps Sentinel Prime is now the defacto bad Prime over Megs and Liege. What Sentinel Prime Transforms into varies, though with the inclusion of the cartoon “U-Haul Robot”, he tends to be a truck to mirror Optimus, but the truck differs depending on the character.

Hilariously, a new 40th anniversary Missing Link toy repaints the old Optimus toy into G1 Marvel Sentinel.

The modern G1 & TFONE Sentinel are the only deviations, opting for planes, and a space train that’s never really used.

Given the series’ habit of making most flyers villains, and ONE Sentinel’s quite literally being above the miners, maybe future versions of Sentinel will be arrogant jets instead.

[cozzzynook]

Poor tfa Rodimus barely had a minute of screentime, but hey at least this means we get to add headcanons upon headcanons.

Like the reason why Roddy would be part of the Elite Guard.

One day when Sentinal is out of earshot and doing something ridiculous, probably offensive to earth culture, Rodimus says something that implies he questions the Magnus's decision right beside him. The team looks over in surorise, and Mag's just... sighs, before going over to Sentinel and telling him to cut it out.

I like the idea of tfa Ultra Magnus still caring about others, just bad at showing it and makes questionable decisions. So he has Roddy on the team because the kid has a lot of heart and isn't afraid to speak up when others cannot. Still has a bit of heart over head tendencies though.

Jazz is great, but I'm pretty sure he has a habit of glossing over things.

Jazz keeps the peace but Rodimus says frag the peace which is exactly why Ultra Magnus always hears him out even if it becomes a lesson of control and thinking things through for Rodimus

[ckret2]

Hot Rod or Optimus Prime for the leader of the autobots?

I think we should give it to Prowl a month and see what happens.

Serious answer: neither of them are actually the sorts of characters I get emotionally invested in—I'm a villain fan, I'm here for the Starscreams and Soundwaves and Shockwaves and Tarantulases rather than the Optimuses and Hot Rods and Bumblebees and Ratchets—so no real preference on a "who do I like better" front. So let's talk in-universe leadership ability.

I'm mainly drawing my characterization from IDW here.

Depends on when we're talking. In wartime, it has to be Optimus. When faced with a difficult choice where there's no good answers, Optimus would sadly and wearily shoulder the burden of making the hard decision (and/or delegate the hard decision to Prowl), and get ever more mournful and broody, but get the job done. Optimus keeps the Autobots from losing the war.

When faced with a difficult choice, Hot Rod/Rodimus would try to Kobayashi Maru it, every time. He'd refuse to accept the difficult choice. He'd shoot for some impossible idealistic scenario where everything turns out better than anyone expected and nobody has to do something that will eat at their conscience like acid.

In a comic/cartoon the idealist doing the crazy impossible thing that saves the day makes for a great story, so Roddy always wins—or at least always wins when it matters—but we're pretending this is an in-universe decision where battles are decided based on who had the right strategy rather than who made the most narratively poignant choice and when an impossible plan works it's "really damn lucky" rather than "the obvious outcome for a good story."

And in universe, Roddy's losing the war unless he surrounds himself with much harder soldiers who will make the harder strategic decisions—and then he might, like, not listen to those soldiers.

AFTER wartime, though—Optimus is too much a product of the war. He's no longer optimistic enough to help give Cybertron a bright future. His policymaking is based on preparing for threats to their new peace, rather than making the peace as good as possible.

It's gotta be Roddy. Post-war Cybertron needs his energy and positivity.

(Again—this mostly applies to IDW. In, say, G1, I'd say they're equally optimistic and equally bright shining beacons of hope, so they're ranked the same there—but Rodimus is more likely to make immature mistakes so Optimus would make the better leader during OR after war, at least until Rodimus is a more seasoned leader.)

[popculturebuffet]

Transformers More than Meets The Eye Retrospective: Issues 31-33: The Road Not Taken (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy autobots and welcome back aboard the lost light as we venture deeper into space and into the awkardness of having a captain who defintely murdered at least one person you know. Megatron: The Blood Soaked Kevin Bacon of Cybertron.

Anyways last time we had a time skip that Rodimus spent moping in his quarters as Megatron was named co captain because Optimus really dosen't have boundries, Prowl continued to see civil rights as a suggestion and is thankfully gone for the foreseable future, Nautica arrived and was the best, Megatron got some much needed therapy, Chromedome did not and saw his dead husband, and the ship done disappeared. Now your all caught up, let's see what those wacky robots are up to now in the second half of this story.

And this second half.. is the better half by a mile. It's why it feels like two diffrent, if consecutive story arcs: While the first part sets up the mystery and the new status quo, it also feels dour and bitter: no one is happy Megatron is there, everything's about that, and thus the cast is all bitter and angry. While there is some great material here: Megatron in therapy, his fight with Whirl, Nautica and Brainstorm being best friends, FINGER TO THE HEAD and Rodimus unhinged behavior and clear sexual tension with megatron when he finally rejoins the story, it's more.. bitter than usual, not helped by the long trial segments and Rodimus being largely abesent. Even in the darkest moments ther'es usually a sense of hope and camraderiy that's largely absent.

We get that sense back as while the first issue is full of tension, i'ts more intresting given the setup and the series goes back to it's strengths: it's strong characters, dialouge and high concepts. The result is one of my faviorite bits of storytelling that I was happy went down just as well this go round. So let's get on board the rodpod under the cut as we have a mystery to solve

We open with the secret origin of the lost light... it was the day before the big announcment and Rodimus, being rodimus, didn't even have a ship yet and sent someone else to take care of it, in this case Drift. Riptide is here too. Commuincating with some Nails via paddycake, Drift easily secures them the ship. All that's left is a name and while Pipes, whose also there, suggests a contest. Sure they could do that...

We're back in the present and Megatron is being grumpy about storytime. Turns out Riptide wasn't saying it for nothing though: Nautica asked, as the Lost Light is far from a normal ship.

As it turns out the Engines are far more advanced, even past Perciptor and Brainstorm levels. I also find it very cute that she calls Perciptor brainstorm levels of brilliant. It's about time someone put respect on the name. He may be a weirdo, but who on this ship isn't a bit weird or has deep baggage to deal with? It's what makes this book great.

Anyways she points out something that the audience and the crew weren't aware of: Quantum Engines shouldn't be able to have made the jump these did... with her help of course. And after some nervous Nautica noises as she's not used to people actually respecting her, complimenting her or attention in general.

So with everyone intrested, Nautica decides to give a brief lecture. Best I can break it down as even in a one panel lecture it's.. a lot, the engines are powered by the pull between what's possible and what's impossible, the reality of the ingines weighed against the heft of the IDEA they can go faster than light. It's a bizzare yet neat idea. Nautica theorizes the reality part one and the Lost Light poofed itself out of existance.

Megatron.. still grumbles: they know a POSSIBLE why, but not what to do now with a small scattered fleet of ships and him stuck in the worst one. I find his disdain of the rod pod both unsuprising and a nice character bit to tuck away for later. I told you the rod pod would be important and while this isn't why, it does play off that intrestingly.

Blaster, whose one of the bots aboard, gets a commuincation from Rodimus> There's a planet they can rodevue on, Ofsted. Ofsted was a lectureworld, a world that taught knowledge. This one focused on Ethics and was presumibly taught by emma frost. Naturally being deeply corrupt the Galactic Council took it over, changed the cirriculum and instituted fees. Cyclonus finds this objectinable as does his new pal Crosscut. Crosscut... I guess has always been here, but hasn't been relevant yet. The Lost Light has a LOT of extras aboard.

Crosscut is one of 20 autobots aboard: Along with him and Cyclonus we have: Megatron,Crosscut, Skids, Gears, Blaster, Getaway, Nautica, Ammo, Huffer ,Chromedome, Swerve, Hoist, NIghtbeat, Riptide, Tailgate, Dipstick, Hound, Ratchet and Highbrow.

I highlighted the main characters... Riptide counts at least for this arc.

And then.. Crosscut disappears and the concept begins. People are gonna start vanishing and our heroes are gonna try and beat the clock. A cool thing the comic does is use a page of everyone on board to keep track of who goes missing.

Bot Count: 19/20

It's then things go sideways as everyone panics a little.. but Tailgate decides to pull a gun on megatron

It does not, though to his credit Megatron doesn't pull a gun back and is more.. amused than anything. Things break down the second Megatron pulls his gun though, not wanting to be locked up for something he did not do.. or period which given his horrifying pass being tortured in prison.. is reasonable. Sadly the autobots aren't and all pull guns.. while they were on his side, Riptide ven admits as much, this is a step too far and it's not long before Cyclonus, being the adult in the room, trying to deescalate things leads to calls to throw them in the brig.. then tailgate. Then uh... (checks chart) Hound pulls a gun on Nautica whose understandably freaked the fuck out. Only it's not her he's aiming at it's RAVAGE!

Bot Count: 20/21

Yup the cat is here. And having always loved Soundwave's casettes, I just love the concept, this cassette beast joining the cast was welcome. Megatron has no idea WHY his old friend is here, and knows damn well no one buys that but it's the truth, advising the cat to play dead for his own sake via sign language. Good for Megatron for being talented in more than just murder, literature and being a grumpus. While he trains a cat, another talent in itself, Cyclonus is pissed Tailgate did a stupid.. while Getaway compliments him for being brave.

While all this was going on though.. .a BUNCH more people disappeared Megatron, Skids, Getaway, Nautica, Swerve, Hoist, NIghtbeat, Riptide, Tailgate Dipstick, Cyclonus, Ratchet and Ravage

12/21

With the party dwinlding Nightbeat tries to solve the mystery and Megatron rather than grousing about things.. actually helps. He points out the power outages before each dissapearnce aren't a concidence but a symptom: whateve'rs going on with the ship, the lights, the rumbhles.. it's connected.

So Nightbeat tries to find a common denominator and asks who was forged and who was constructed cold? While this concept was introduced in Remain in Light, here it gets fleshed out more as we find out there's two generations: first were the ones back on cybertron that lead to all the debate and what not, and the second were MTO's, models forged not for work or what have you but for war, not even having a birth city: just whatever conflict they were made for. It's a truly bleak concept but one I love: that part of the reason so many cybertronians are having trouble moving on.. is they were BUILT in war. They were built for this. It also leads to another intresting train of thought, one we won't fully get into this time, but will be the backbone of our next arc

It's an engaging double edged sword: Megatron's reign of terror murdered billions.. but it also created billions. Removing him could save lives.. but it'd also cause undo genocide by well.. undoing a genocide. Are the lives that would exist worth the ones that would be lost?

Megatron dodges the question, and this will naturally be important later as "This will be important later' could be the series catchphrase, but Ratchet knows whose who.. and construction isn't a related factor.

As Nightbeat bangs his head against the table in frustration the rest give us some more worldbuiding: originally MTO's were given a through course, ten steps from frozen to gun in your hand. They eventually wittled them down as High Command assumed learning about the world wasn't important as "can you shoot people y/n?" We also find out religion is more common in MTO's and that info creep may be the cause..that what could've just been a flash of light becomes conversatoin with the primes over time. Nautica then breaks down, wishing Windblade and Chromia were here as she feels their better than her, and wondering if she'll never see them again. It's a sobering reminder that some of the lost lighters DO have friends outside this ship and how close they are to death. Quite a few bots didn't make it out of season 1 alive and without giving away who, several will not make it out of this one in one piece.

One blip later and we're down to the main cast... and down one of the main cast.

Megatron, Skids, Getaway, Nautica, Swerve, NIghtbeat, Riptide, Tailgate, Ratchet and Ravage

10/21

So things are only getting worse: Magnus arrives in his holomatter avatar.. but has nothing. Their having the same problem and he too is soon gone.

Nightbeat grasps for straws trying to find ANYTHING that matches.. but no go and with that we're down to our final roster for the arc

Megatron, Skids, Getaway, Nautica, NIghtbeat, Riptide, and Ravage

7/21

Nightbeat finally gets his break though as Riptide mentions all the crazy stuff "they" got up to... and is thrown off. Wasn't riptide in the origin story? He was, and fully intended to go aboard, but when investigating the guys they got the ship from found they were shady and got beaten into a coma. As a nice bit of tying up loose ends their also WHY the sparkeater was on board as they were transporting it and left it to be the next owners problem.

So with that , if you hadn't figured it out, we have the common deniomnator: everyone left came onto the lost light AFTER it first took off. Skids was picked up in issue 2, Getaway joined in the season finale, Nightbeat during the crossover, and Megatron, Riptide, Chromia and Ravage all joined when the ship left cybertron the second time.

Megatron gets one final moment of being a dick about things telilng Nightbeat he failed because he failed to figure it out BEFORE everyone was gone... Nightbeat admits the how has to count right... and spoilers it totally does. And the evidence of it is right in front of them as our maginficent seven find.. the lost light... looking beat to shit and surrounded by weird red bands

We begin the next issue with some context for what the heck the creepy red stuff is: it's quantum foam, which sounds nice and sciency but like many a thing with a nice sciency name will kill you if you so much as look at it wrong so our team does their best to manuver inside.

The atmosphere is eerie: the lost light is trashed and while they arrive at swerves.. it dosen't look like a bar, more like a theater. The kinda Nautica would've gone to on caminus had her anxiety not noped her out of there anytime she got within ten feet of the place. Or whatever the transformer equilvent is.

Everyone thinks this is the future.. and i'll just let "thinks" do the heavy lifting for now as Megatron has arrived with Ravage to no one's pleasure, with Megatron pointing out that he can pay for trying to attack them later, right now they need his sniffer. So the team splits up gang... not the wisest move in any derlict spaceship surrounded by space-time blood slowly leaking out of the engines, but Chromia explains they dont' have long before said space-time blood explodes, so they need to find any possible survivors. Chromia's alt mode can go short distances in space so she has night beat get inside her

While the rest find Magnus corpse. There is some dithering for a second as despite Ravage identifying him by smell, Minimus has been dragged out of the armor. Thankfully drift knows about all that and confirms the corpse.. and that it was killed by fusion canon. While Megs protests his innosense, he had that thing smelted, this time.. he actually agrees to be locked up in a show of character. He realizes he really CAN'T prove it's not him and geninely dosen't want to hurt anyone. This is entirely for his own good too: the only two around him are Riptide, whose a dick and Skids, and he has Ravage as backup. No one would know until everyone came back, if they came back.. but he does the right thing anyway because he just dosen't WANT to kill people. He will but for all Megatron's faults, his ego, his coarsness, his lack of empathy... he genuinely WANTS to be better on some level.

So while Megatron gets locked up, Natucia and Nightbeat bond, with Nightbeat filling her in on rewind and his ghost earlier, and just flat out asking if she's single. I mean I would and yes i'm aware she dwarfs me in size, that's part of it. Same goes for Rodimus though just for one night... the dude is even messier than I am. I can't see that ending well.

Chromia admits that no, same with Night beat and the two find something intresting to distract from dwelling on both being single: brainstorm's briefcase.

Back with Megatron, he's busy talking to his cat who quickly scratches him in what has to be the most violent garfield comic ever made using space robots.

Ravage is PISSED though as Megatron abandoned the cause.. and while Megatron points out the decipticon cause isn't him, Ravage disagrees, revealing Galvatron is leading them now and saying outright that if Megatron said the word he'd gut their new glorious leader himself.

Unsuprisingly Ravage was sent by Soundwave, who is also spinning out over this and wanted to make sure this was REALLY megatron and if so have Ravage take him out back and claw him a bit so to speak. Ravage is also the reason those decipticons attacked the trial a test for megatron he failed. What follows.. is the second best scene of the arc and one of my faviorites series wide

It's a great callback to Chaos Theory and the main reason WHY I covered it: it covers the gap between the over the top evil of megatron in the previous runs and the tired layred old man in this one. He was once a better man.. but that quote up top says it all. I also love Ravage's face... his sheer worry as he realizes the man he knew isn't the same... that part of why this all weighs on him now.. is time. There isn't much left, Megatron is aware of this: even if the quest goes on for years, he dosen't HAVE years left. And he's aware of it. He's too tired to be a monster, to keep doing horrible shit and justifying it... he doesn't want to be that person anymore and took a quick cheap route to get there. But as Ravage puts it when megatron answers who he was was dead "dead... or just sleeping?". It's the core of Megatron's character arc: can you really atone or is your worst self always there, watching you?

For now there is no answer, just corpses... but there is at least an id on who the murder victim is as he finds... a brain cog. The others also find corpses thoguh before that Gateway talks with Riptitde, who feels guilty.. as Gateway puts it "the bigger the tragedy the harder it is to process". It's hard to put what Megatron did into sheere scale so it's easy to forget just HOW much harm he's done.

At any rate the corpses not only include Overlord, who should be gone.. but spell out WHO did this and why they need to run the fuck away: the DJD. After the omnious set up of them last time they've crashed into the main plot in a bloody rampage.

Nightbeat is starting to figure it out though: they found a beheaded overlord... who shoudln't BE here to get beheaded as he supposidly died when Rewind sacrified himself. Still the ship's collapsing so they should get going... but Ravage finds one survivor and well.. i'ts worth showing twice

It's a fantastic panel not only showing that Megatron has indeed changed, happy SOMEONE surivived.. but also leaving the reader in shock. Rewind LIVES... and we'll find out why.. right now.

So everyone attends to Rewind whose understandably in shock.. not just due to what he's been through but finding out Skids is alive, Nightbeat is alive (Both were assumed dead), Megatron is an autobot and there are female cybertronians. He isn't a dick about the last part mind, wish I didn't have to clairfy that but .. the times we live in. He just..d idn't know it was a thing and is fine with it. He gives Nightbeat a data slug.

Meanwhile Chromia while talking with Riptide finally figures it out and we get the big twist this has all been leading to: the lost light didn't disappear... it split in half back when the launch happened. See quantum engines work by getting someone from point a to point b using quantum stuff. The point a is always fixed.. but B could be billions.. and the explosion threw it off, so instead of narrowing it down to ONE option.. it became two. Thus two lost lights were born and two perfect copies.

As Nightbeat and Skids found from the data slug, the Alternate Lost Light went through a diffrent set of circumstances: Rung died in the crash and was replaced as bait and Rodimus timing in throwing the spark eater into the engines was off so part of his head got clipped, hence his corpse.

In the aftermath Drift came clean about overlord... and that's what caused the massacre. Someone on board learned about him.. and leaked it to the DJD who came for Overlord.. and then kept going with everyone else. They learned the traitor thing as Tarn's a sadistic bastard , of course he's going to tell them about the betryal before he tortures everyone.

Rewind.. was forced to film the massacre to save Chromedome's life, and it's just.. an awful thing ot think about: recording everyone you care about dying... only for them to make the condition of your partner living that he erases his memory of you.. and jamming his needles into his head when he refuses. We'd seen from their intro how bad the DJD were... but this arc really hammers it in: their monsters, sadists who use their loyalty to megatron as a thin excuse to kill people and satisfy their addictions. Rewind barely survivied falling into the magnus armor and they mercifully left.

He dosen't have time to process this, nor does anyone as the foam's getting tighter.. and what's worse.. it's going to envelop the planet bellow. Priority shifts from "save ourselves" to "save the world" as tends to be for the autobots.... with Megatron holding out. If their not cybertronian why does it matter. Skids counters perfectly: If wearing the badge dosen't alter his behavior.. waht the fuck has any of Megatron's time as an autobot meant. If he can't see all sentient beings as valid... why be here.

So he relents. The Foam is tight but rewind offers to squeeze through as he's tiny. Chromia appricates it, but points out they need tow people to deactivate the quantum drums simeltaniously: if done it should erase the other lost light and thus the paradox. As for why it's only happening now it's simple: the two lost lights got close enough for the universe to stop ignoring the paradox.

Getaway makes a quip about "unless someone can pull a minimus ambus".. and Skids gets an idea; Search Brainstorm's lab as he used a shrink ray that one time. While searching it we iron out how all this works in way si've already descirbed, and our heroes find Brainstorm's corpse... who has a face. I geninely forgot about that.. and the reveal attached

Brainstorm was the traitor, something poor Nautica dosen't take well. They don't have time to process this reveal, and the fact if they restore him THEIR brainstorm is a traitor too. It also begs a question I forgot the answer too: if brainstorm learned about overlord, why didn't he tell the DJD on everyone even if he'd just blown up real good? Or report into the other decipticons present when the crossover happened? Why'd he stay undercover?

The next arc will answer these questions for now we find out that Brainstorm never made the mass displacement gun in this timeline... but Megatron pipes up: he could once transform into a smaller carryable gun and once your spark is primed for mass displacement, it's always primed. He just didn't stand up because as he puts it "when people are lining up for heroic sarcifices, stand at the back of the queue". And while pragmatic ... I get it. If they could get EVERYONE to do it with the gun, then they all could go through the foam. More numbers. There was no sense playing his hand until he had to.

SO Rewind and MEgatron bond with some sycnronized dodging the death goo and Megatron tiptoes around his horrible death. The two make it to the drums.. and Rewind is hit with a relization... if the lost light is restored and the duplicate goes away... won't he go away too? Nautica is horrified to realize this while Megatron asks if he wants to go back. It's a human moment from a very stoic asshole: that if they have to find another way out they will, he won't force someone to make a sacrifce they didn't sign up for.

But rewind.... is fine with it

So it's hours later. The lost light has remateralized, and everyone is slowly coming back. Chromedome arrives and skids has a suprise for him outside.. and we get one of the best sequences in the entire comic. Two entirely silent pages as Chromedome... finds exactly who you hoped out there and the two work thorugh their emotoins... before the ineveitble happens

I wish I could show you the whole thing. It's so damn beautiful. Just two people who thought they'd lost each other finding one another, thorugh time, through space and through pure fate. There will be more to sort out later, to the series credit it dosen't sidestep over the complications here, but for now it just lets us have the catharsis.

So how do I feel about Rewind's return? I'm okay with it. It dosen't dilute the impact of his death as that Rewind.. is gone. He blew up. He truly is dead and the pain Chromedome felt was still very real. And as I hinted at, the series does tackle the fact these aren't the exact versions of Chromedome and Rewind they fell in love with. It could do more with it, but they dont' completely just fall into "this is the same rewind." he went through diffrent stuff and the true horror he went through sets up the DJD as the big bad of this season very well: We saw them plow through some unamed decipticons and the scavengers barely escape.. but now we see they could easily kill everyone we care about with zero effort. They commited a gruseom slaughter that was easy to shake off the first time I read this: it wasn't OUR lost light... but on this run.. I got that these guys easily could've BEEN the crew we know. They aren't that diffrent. The few additions they gathered, first aid, skids, aren't enough to flip the tide. They have more NOW as seen with this issue, but it simply may not be enough. And Megatron himself thinks at first thier coming FOR HIM... and with Brainstorm seemingly a traitor, it's only a matter of time till word gets to them. The clock is ticking and our heroes may not be ready when it runs out.

Speaking of Brainstorm Megatron needs to tell Rodimus there's a decipticon on board.. and offers his decipticon on board a spot, pointing out that Ravage has now seen the worst extreme of the Decepticon cause... does he still want that?

Before our cliffhanger, Nautica has no idea how Rewind survivied. My honest guest is since there was no rewind on the lost light to replace, Rewind 2 stayed. But it dosen't explain another anamoly.. the other briefcase. And after being a mystery all series we finally find out what's inside.. kinda. Brainstorm realizing he's made opens it in Swerves and....

Yup. So that's where we're leaving for a few months. A bunch of the cast may be dead and Brainstorm is free to do whatever the hell he wants while also being a traitor maybe

For now we end this arc.. whic his good as I remembered it: it's an atmospheric tale on a derlict spaceship, perfect for this series with a heartwarming ending.. and a chilling vision of things to come.

Next Time: We travel in time to get answers as to what Brainstorm's endgame is. It isn't pretty. But that's a few months for now, we go back to the power rangers who aren't fairing much better.

[thanksjro]

Transformers Holiday Special (2015) — Wishing You and Yours a Delightfully Secular Wintertime, Containing Absolutely Zero References to the Birth of Christ

Despite what some might like to think, Christmas isn’t for everyone; even with all the commercialization, at its heart, it’s still about the Baby Jesus. You can tell that we haven’t shaken the Christian connection, because the cover for this special issue has the father, the son, and the holy spirit, which is hidden behind the company logo.

And if Rodimus doesn’t stop screwing around, his resurrection’s gonna have to happen a lot sooner than Easter.

Because this is a comic special, things are going to be a little different. Instead of one standard-size issue, we’re getting three mini-stories, each with their own writer (from each of the comic runs that were publishing at the time) and artist. Our stories are listed here:

Don’t worry about what Ultra Magnus is up to behind that text.

Now, you may ask, why on earth am I covering this issue, which is a specifically Christmassy one, now, when it’s not currently Christmas? Well, according to Roberts, the story “Silent Light” takes place after MTMTE #49, and #50 is when the crew manifest for the Lost Light gets shaved down some, so realistically, this is when “Silent Light” happens in continuity. So I want you to keep in mind that Getaway’s Christmas isn’t going so great.

I won’t be going back to catch up on the other runs’ plots, as the Christmas stories are stand-alone.

Getting into it, our first story is:

Penned by Mairghread Scott and drawn by Corin Howell. We open up on a cityscape featuring a happy sun and some eye-searing narration boxes.

I went to Howell’s Twitter to see what her deal was, and was greeted with a banner consisting of a sexy succubus lady with her boobies out, so I’m going to assume she simplified her style for this issue, since mecha are hella difficult to draw.

Also, I hope you like the structure of How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, because that’s what we’re getting for the next little while, complete with chunky, white text on painful-to-view red.

Our story opens with all the transformers from the colonies visiting Cybertron and making friends with each other. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, which pisses off President-King Starscream to no end. Being the drama queen that he is, Starscream feels that everyone should be paying attention to him 24/7 and feed him grapes as he reclines on a sofa, because hasn’t he done enough for all these sorry sacks of shit? He hasn’t even caused a war, unlike the last guy who was in charge. Bumblebee (who is a ghost) tells him to just be fucking nice for once in his miserable life, but Starscream wouldn’t be Starscream if he could settle down like that.

Our god-king of the planet calls for his aide, Rattrap, who is going to be in his alt mode for the entirety of this story, to help him set up for a public broadcast addressing his need for attention and adoration.

He sends Rattrap off to deliver the tape to the news, which seems to consist of two very sleep-deprived individuals. Because they’re apparently the only two robots stupid enough to attempt to cover the nightmare hellscape that is Cybertronian current events, the last bit of Starscream’s tape is cut off when one of them falls asleep on the switchboard. This turns Starscream’s personal worship holiday into “For the Love of God Be Nice to Each Other” Day. Everyone takes to it beautifully, getting BFF tattoos, going on vacation with their husbands, hugging in the straightest gay way possible, holding parades, giving each other bombs, and getting absolutely shitfaced.

Starscream, distraught that nobody is giving him the emperor treatment like he had wanted, sulks in his twin bed, then moves to his dinky little throne as the night wears on, making the most miserable faces he can the whole time. Eventually, Chosen One Day ends, and he’s been completely ignored. Very sad.

Then, there’s a knock on his door, and Starscream creeps over to the peephole just in time to be smashed flat by Wheeljack slamming the door open. Last time we saw Wheeljack he was assumed dead by most, and floating in a tank at Starscream’s behest. He’s gotten better since then, clearly.

Wheeljack came with friends— the entirety of the main cast for Windblade/Til All Are One, to be exact— and they’re here to make sure that Starscream isn’t completely alone on this friendship holiday he accidentally invented. Everyone toasts to his good, totally intentional idea, and Starscream decides against killing all of them for at least the next 24 hours.

Now pay attention to this next story, because it’s actually canon-relevant, because of course Roberts would write a holiday special mini-comic that ties into his overarching plot. Fucking nerd.

Our artist for “Silent Light” is Kotteri (or Kotteri!, as it’s been written on some of their other publications) the pen name for Ikumi Fukuda. Kotteri is primarily a manga artist, having created their own works and well as working on other projects. I admittedly can’t find much on this person, not even their preferred pronouns, TFWiki itself using “they”, which I will default to. All of the info they’ve provided themself is, of course, written in Japanese, but even running things through a translator only proves that information to be purely professional. Their personal Twitter is protected, and my follow request was never answered, as far as I know. There’s a fan Twitter account for their art that claims “she”, but I have no way to verify, and I don’t want to assume anything based on art style, because that’s sort of shitty. Let it never be said that I didn’t do my due diligence here— I fucking hate using Twitter.

We open with Rodimus having just returned from Meteorfest, a festival where you surf on meteors and avoid your co-captain and SIC’s calls like the putz you are. He’s greeted by said co-captain and SIC decorating assembling a Christmas tree cloaking machine and finishing each other’s sentences like an old married couple. Rodimus tries to deny the existence of Minimegs, then we get our heavy-handed and lampshaded explanation for the crux of the issue. Megatron handles Minimus like a baby doll as the two of them explain that the Lost Light is about to hit Mauler territory.

Maulers are notorious for wanting the Cybertronians dead, but Megatron is too much of a macho man to pussy out and go around them. So instead, the crew will be hiding in special sleeping pods that will mask their spark signatures, and pray to their pantheon of gods that no one notices the ship the size of Manhattan. Brainstorm has like fifteen new inventions, despite being on house arrest from his lab. Megatron’s autobot badge is wearing a hat. Merry fucking Christmas.

Over at Swerve’s, it would appear that everyone’s favorite television junkie is closed for business, as it’s just him, Nautica, and Whirl, sitting on the floor getting absolutely shit-faced on subspace-filtered engex. This might’ve been an issue, as folks are supposed to be bedding down in their B.E.D.s for the next leg of the trip, but Swerve slipped Magnus some Bing Crosby earlier so they’re cool right now.

There’s a banging at the door, and Whirl decides to answer, even though it’s not his bar, because if it’s trouble come a-knocking, it was probably looking for Whirl anyhow.

When Whirl answers, however, it’s not Magnus having caught wind of Nautica disrespecting the Autobot code, but an entirely different flavor of problem.

Now, I know that thing Whirl’s holding looks like a fucked up Hitachi Wand, but it is, in fact, an entire-ass baby robot. It seems that when Cerebros (Fortress Maximus’s friend, if you’ll recall) sent the engex through the subspace, this infant Cybertronian (Luna One-ian?) got mixed in with the other supplies.

We learn a bit about how baby Cybertronians work before we remember, oh right, this kid is gonna get everyone killed if they catch wind of her spark, since there isn’t a B.E.D. for her. Yes, it’s a girl! Congrats to our three idiots on their Cybertronian gender non-conforming little princess.

They gang decides to shunt her back through the subspace hatch, so they head over to where it’s currently being housed— the office of Ultra Magnus. Nautica, using her wits and all the tools in her arsenal, smashes the window to the office and they break in. The empty Magnus Armor sits in the dark like a grim monument to being married to your job. Whirl informs Nautica how to comfort the baby that he super for-sure doesn’t care about, handing her off while he uses his titty glass to replace the window in the door. Swerve tries to bite through iron chains holding the subspace hatch hostage, only to be stopped by the sound of justice coming down the hall.

The gang, of course, looks suspicious as hell standing stock straight immediately in front of Magnus’s office, but Minimus rather likes the change of pace out of these goofy morons, and is maybe also trying to deflect his embarrassment at being caught performing his own personal karaoke. He sends them off to their B.E.D.s, and it looks like all’s well that ends well until Whirl asks where Sparky is.

Yes, he named the baby.

Don’t worry though, he’s totally not attached or whatever.

Nautica, in her panic to not be caught stealing/vandalizing/using equipment she doesn’t have the clearance for, stuffed Sparky in the Magnus Armor. And also put the helmet portion back on the body, for some reason. Anyway, it looks like our little princess is gonna be a load-bearer when she grows up, because Magnus is up and looking for hugs. Nautica, a paragon of level-headed thinking in times of crisis, handles this in the best way she can.

And that’s a wrap on Minimus Ambus! Let’s give him a hand, folks! And let’s also give a hand to the new Ultra Magnus, Miss Sparky Whirldòttir! Where did that little scamp get to, anyhow?

Swerve nominates himself to be the one to drag Minimus to a B.E.D. to sleep off his concussion, leaving Whirl and Nautica to track down the baby.

The scene changes to Megatron announcing a last call for beddy-bye time on the intercom, just as Ultra Sparky enters the room. She looms over Megatron, putting him in a very compromising position as he hits the intercom button with his arm. Rodimus, climbing into his own B.E.D., wishes that his co-captain and SIC would stop being gay for, like, five minutes, or at least wouldn’t do it where it can be broadcasted throughout the whole ship in audio format.

Whirl and Nautica come save Megatron from the onslaught of physical affection, stating that “Magnus” has had a bit too much to drink. Megatron orders them to bed from his fetal position on the countertop.

It’s bedtime, but we still haven’t figured out how to get the kid back to Luna 1 so the Maulers don’t super-murder the whole crew. Nautica leaves Whirl to figure it out, getting into B.E.D. and wondering who the fuck knocked on the door in the first place. Whirl tells her not to worry about it and to go to sleep, so he can be the one to deal with this mess.

Whirl, notorious for doing all the nastiest jobs— former Wrecker, intended bullet sponge for the time travel situation, attempting suicide via Megatron— is going to add another tally to the list labeled “Reasons My Peers Don’t Really Like Me All That Much”, by throwing an entire baby out the air lock.

However, Whirl is being written by Roberts, who would never allow the number of robot babies to go down, so Sparky’s adorable assimilation of Whirl’s signature physical features gets him right in the soft underbelly he swears doesn’t exist.

Wow, Roberts put a baby in that robot. Surely this is as overt as we’re going to get with this imagery, since we’re in a major publication and not some fan-fiction!

ANYWAY

Whirl wakes up in the Medibay, emptied of infant and freaked the hell out about it. Velocity— who I will remind you is basically the only medical doctor on the Lost Light, since everyone else is too busy getting railed by weeaboos and joining unethical polycules to do their actual jobs—informs him that his daughter is, in actuality, a massive colony of scraplets that combined to look like a newborn.

It turns out that Nautica is a bit of a snitch, having spilled the beans after she woke up. Whether or not she thought Whirl had thrown the baby out the air lock isn’t really addressed, but thank god he didn’t, because then we would have had to send everyone’s favorite gun-addled dipshit to jail for the rest of forever. Checking security footage revealed who the mystery knocker was— it was the scraplets, forming the shape of an arm.

When Nautica asks how the hell they all survived this, seeing as Whirl kept the murder baby, Whirl informs her that he cut off power to his own spark to allow everyone else to live, including his sweet baby princess, winning him a #1 Dad mug, and also several emails from Rung to please make an appointment with him.

Whirl’s miracle Christmas baby lied and stole with the intent to murder everyone on board, and that makes her the ultimate daddy’s girl.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed this canon-important holiday special story about Whirl becoming a father.

In our third and final story, it appears we’ve been transported to Whoville, by the talent of our MTMTE Season 1 colorist, Josh Burcham. Within Whoville resides Anna Log, a human woman who owns two turbofoxes and sleeps in full military body armor on her couch. The wall in her living room suddenly explodes, revealing a late-night visitor.

Motherfucker, you are supposed to be on the ship right now.

Mega-Claus fusion-cannons Anna Log, and we cut to a film noir office where none other than Thundercracker has his feet up on the desk. The art grayscales for this section, as he narrates that he’s a detective. He’s wearing a fedora. It’s January 7th. He has a mysterious past and probably thinks that makes him very sexy.

The phone rings, cueing Buster, Thundercracker’s puggle, to put on her own fedora, and the two go to see the crime scene, where Thundercracker is the same size as a normal human man and wears a trench coat.

It turns out that Anna Log is the director of security for the entirety of planet Earth, which is sort of a big deal. When Thundercracker and the cops look at the security footage, they see who did it— Santa Claus, played by Megatron himself. Fucked up.

Sure, pal.

Thundercracker must now fly to the North Pole and kill Santa, because that’s how the law works. He transforms, flies by Club Penguin and a Coke commercial, reflects on his job, and then gets ready for a fight with Santa’s security measures, as Busters glowing nose warns him of incoming danger. She’s very talented, Buster.

Thundercracker makes quick work of the cybernetic security reindeer with his twin energy katanas and Buster’s jetpack. He kicks down Santa’s door to find the jolly elf himself standing in the dark, potentially rabid. The two start kung-fu beating the shit out of each other. It should be noted that this Santa isn’t the Megatron Santa, who shows up behind the two as they brawl, but rather original-flavor fat man Santa. How Thundercracker didn’t notice this isn’t addressed.

Thundercracker demands to know why Megatron dressed up as Santa Claus to commit a murder— the murder part made sense, Director Log and Megatron would be diametrically opposed— and Megatron reveals the greatest slight against himself he’s ever known.

Framing Santa for murder ain’t exactly gonna turn that coal into a diamond, Meggy baby.

Thundercracker clocks Megatron, he becomes besties with Santa Claus, and they ride a flying tank into the sunset. Thus ends Thundercracker’s most brilliant writing project yet, which he was reading to Marissa Faireborn this entire time.

Marissa isn’t terribly impressed, poking holes in all the little nonsense bits, while also not feeling thrilled about having been killed off in the first two pages of Thundercracker’s book. While the two argue, Buster and Ayana Jones make a Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown! reference together, and the issue closes out with a big ol’ Autobot symbol, even though Thundercracker was a Decepticon, Ayana and Marissa are humans, and Buster is a goddamned dog.

Thus ends the Holiday Special. Up next, more direct story progression!

[devilart2199-aibi]

IDW collection reading update! :^) 📖

Just finished Phase 2 volume 3! This volume included: The MTMTE 2012 Annual + issues 9-13, The RID 2012 Annual + issues 10-11, Signal to Noise and Spotlights: Thundercracker, Bumblebee and Megatron!

My thoughts will be below! ⤵️

MTMTE 2012 Annual:

Started off super wacky with Magnus 😂 Then got really interesting with Crystal City disappearing, The Metrotitan being underneath and the Galactic Council making their appearance! I liked how they tried to recruit Magnus and he said nah and smiled :)

RID 2012 Annual:

Absolutely LOVED the vintage/retro comic pages they did for the story/flashbacks of Nova's group!! Why so evil, but so cool looking?? I'm curious to see what all that with the Metrotitan and Starscream meant! 🤔

MTMTE 9-11:

Absolute banger. Probably one of my favorite stories so far!! I'm sorry but a murder mystery?? on Cybertron? in the past?? with stellar art!?! Sign me up any day.

Also it was great to finally learn more about Senator Shockwave and the rest of the Characters! Like Drift, Chromedome and Whirly! The back and forth with all the banter and the layers of fronts and corruption ahhh *chefs kisses*

Also I thought this ⬆️ was so cute bc it's a fact right out of Prowls characters bio/info sheet/page.

MTMTE 12:

This is the Surprise! Give you a mini heart attack issue lol Bc of my own silliness I was stressed the whole time reading it 😂 but it was really good!! We got to learn a bunch about Rewind. And that him and Chromedome are Conjunx' !! 🥺💞

MTMTE 13:

This was a super fun issue! I'm absolutely loving all this Magnus character time!!

The Holomatter Avatars were pretty funny 😂 Whirl was too adorable and I thought it was really sweet that Magnus chose to look like Verity 🥺 Uncle Magnus misses his kid.

I felt bad for Swerve ;_; also I'm excited to see more from Cyclonus and Tailgate!! This ship is full of liars lol 😂

RID 10-11:

10 was an issue where Orion (previously Optimus) is currently hunting down Jihaxus to get answers for stuff and things. There is quite a bit of time jumping back and forth which always gets me confused 😂 it was interesting tho!

Issues 11 Starscream takes action against his Deceptibros (Just Shockwave, Soundwave and their posse really) and I really look forward to his team up with Prowl, if it goes anywhere from here! Also Arcee killing more people rip Ravage, Frenzy and those other guys 🫡 and a wild Megatron makes a reappearance?!?!

Signal to Noise:

It was a little Lost Light interlude! It was from Rung's perspective. I feel like I haven't seen much from him specifically so it was pretty cool and interesting :> Like everything, I'm curious to see where it goes!

Spotlights:

Thundercrackers was enjoyable! It just reinforced that he was good leaning, or at least not one for senseless violence. I really like him and hope he makes a reappearance! I'm curious what he's up to on earth

Bumblebee's was fine. Him struggling to be the leader and feeling like he has to prove himself, but getting the job done!

Megatron's was a banger. I absolutely love his monologs. What he thinks of his Decepticons and the 'Pep talk' he gave Starscream to get him back to his usual self.

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Final random thoughts:

Of all the storylines, MTMTE is still my favorite to read rn. I must admit, Rodimus tho is stressing me out as the leader 😂 I was gonna say my fav characters rn but, there are just too many haha

I've already hopped into volume 4 so I'll be seeing you soon with more ramblings! 👋

[theoceanoasis]

Deaf Rodimus who always has his implant audials in but takes them out to charge on a night he forgot Drift and Ratchet were coming over

No one knew he was deaf not even Ratchet. It was his biggest insecurity and something he went to great lengths to hide especially when he became Prime.

Since most injuries and diseases could simply be fixed having a disability was looked down on. Many people believed those with disabilities were useless and a burden on everyone else who should end themselves for the greater good.

It hurt growing up listening to how others like him were talked about and it was the reason he was so determined to hide this part of himself.

When he became a Prime he was even more determined. Since Primes were seen as the closest thing to a god and no one wanted a broken one.

If they found out he was deaf they would ask questions wondering if he was worthy of the matrix. Something he already had to fight so hard to prove. This would just be another thing added on top.

He didn't know why Primus didn't fix his audios when he was upgraded and some part of him thinks it's because he was unworthy and that he was always meant to give up the matrix to Optimus.

He was nothing but a stand in while Optimus was the real Prime and he didn't deserve the title and oftentimes felt like a fraud.

He tried to push the negative thoughts away as he went to charge his implants. They worked wonderfully and he wore them all the time but occasionally they needed to be charged every few months.

He'd been putting it off, not wanting to take them off. Because every time he always felt uncomfortable and his negative thoughts would oftentimes overwhelm him.

After taking it off he felt uncomfortable and exposed to the world having been so used to hearing. He grabbed blankets and made himself a little nest with his back pressed against the wall while his body faced the door.

He tried his best to relax and fall asleep wanting to wake up and have his device charged.

He didn't hear the knocking on his door or his comm blowing up with messages since he accidentally left it in the other room.

He'd been so stressed out about taking off his implants that he forgot tonight was movie night.

Ratchet and Drift waited outside for a long time both of them calling him.

"Maybe something's wrong. Since he's not picking up."

Drift suggested looking at the door worriedly.

Ratchet went to enter his code when the TV turned on. They both jumped at the loud volume and continued waiting for Rodimus to answer the door.

Drift tried calling him a few more times wondering what was going on. He seemed so excited a few days ago for their movie date. He didn't know what changed since then.

"He's clearly home and since he's not answering he's avoiding us."

"I'm sure that's not true."

Even as he said that he looked at the door skeptically. It wouldn't be the first time Rodimus avoided them although that hasn't happened since they first started to court him and some miscommunication happened.

"Maybe he forgot?"

"Then why isn't he answering the door when we've been knocking on it or answer his comm that's been ringing nonstop? I can hear it inside."

They both listened to the sound of his comm go off as they continued calling him. He gave the door a sad look because Rodimus was avoiding them again instead of talking about it.

"Rodimus if you're not going to answer the door we are leaving!"

Ratchet banged on the door a few more times and when nothing happened he walked away with a huff muttering about a waste of time. Even as he said that he could see the hurt in his optics and he followed his Conjunx. Hopefully he could get some kind of an explanation from Rodimus and if he was avoiding them he'd like to know why so they can at least try and fix it.