#uh how do i tag this to keep y'all safe

[flowercrowngods]

(cw: suicidal ideation & dissociation in time travel au steve, snippet from chapter 9)

It’s only been a week and he sort of wants to die. For the first time in his life that thought is there, boring into him with sudden clarity.  He blinks it away, terrified and nauseous, a pit opening in his stomach at this realisation. He shoves it to the side, choosing to ignore it (Like everything else, then? Robin calls him out, and Steve blinks her away, too), instead focusing on the entrance hall and double doors that have appeared in front of him. He’s pretty sure they’re real, but there is still doubt, still uncertainty, still fear that he is losing it. That he is losing. He takes shaking steps towards them even as his body continues to feel further and further away from him. 

[simmerandwrite]

Sink Into Me - 09 - mob!Steve Rogers x plus size!reader

Pairing: mob boss! Steve Rogers x plus size! reader

Summary: You were simply doing a good deed, pulling the handsome stranger out of the way when a car jumped the curb. Little did you know that the life you saved belonged to Steve Rogers, the Army veteran turned art dealer with connections to the Brooklyn crime syndicate.

Steve Rogers, who won’t stop calling you his guardian angel.

Steve Rogers, whose new goal in life just might be repaying his debt to you.

Steve Rogers, who isn’t shy until it comes to his feelings and will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04 05 06  07 08 09

Wordcount: 11k

Warnings: angst, allusions to dog fighting (but no mention of any kind of abuse), smut

Notes: here we go!! I have so much to say but I'll summarize it with a big thank you!! to everyone who read, reblogged and followed along for the journey. y'all made this so much more fun! can't wait to hear your thoughts!! and while this is the end of Sink Into Me, this universe may stick around for a while. a few more notes on this at the end ;) thank you thank you thank you! enjoy!!

--

“Hi,” you said quietly, meeting his eyes in the low light streaming in from his lamp.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, scanning you for any signs of distress.

You shrugged, taking in a deep breath. Then Steve took a step back, waving his arm to invite you in. You released your lungs slowly, nodding and following him inside. Wordlessly, he climbed into the bed and offered the open blanket to you, arms wide.

You just nodded again, crawling under the comforter and finding a spot - your spot - underneath his arms.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you pulled away from him. A strange empty laugh escaped you.

“I can’t believe… an hour ago… I was being held at gunpoint. That’s crazy. Isn’t that crazy?” The whole thing suddenly hit you like a ton of bricks, all of it. The ambush on your way home, the brute force, the cold rain, the gun.

“Sweetheart..” Steve sat up the same way you did. 

You shook your head and shuffled to the side of the bed and planted your feet on the floor, sitting there as you caught your breath. 

“Hey, hey. Just breathe, okay?” He scrambled off the bed, coming around the kneel in front of you. With one hand, he reached out and placed it on your knee. You dropped yours onto his and squeezed it. “I’m.. baby, I’m so sorry.”

You closed your eyes, taking in a few deep breaths.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered your name, brushing his thumb against your knee. “I’m sorry for everything. Ever since that day.. On the street, outside the restaurant, just by saving me - you had a target on your back and it’s my fault. I hurt you and put you in danger and it’s my fault.”

The silence washed over you both again.

Steve continued, quieter. “Is there anything I can do or say right now to help you? I know you’re probably scared and I can’t fix that but… your well being, that’s all that matters to me.”

You exhaled and opened your eyes. “I.. I’m hungry.”

Steve blinked. “Uh, okay. Sure. I can order a pizza or we could..” His lips twitched into a brief smile. “How about grilled cheese?”

 —

Truthfully, Steve wasn’t always stocked up on the basics but this time he was grateful for what few groceries remained in his fridge. There was a strange silence as you headed to the kitchen. Steve got to work grabbing what he needed for grilled cheese making while you sat at his small dining room table.

Hercules followed you closely, finding a new place to sleep at your feet. 

You fiddled with the tag of the tea bag in your cup of chamomile, quiet. The frying pan sizzled.

“Steve?” 

Your voice drew his attention away from his task at hand. He turned. “Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the fire? At, uh, your mom’s clinic?”

He stilled then turned back towards the stovetop. He flicked off the element and plated the sandwiches, joining you at the table. He slid a plate across to you.

“I would have, eventually. I didn’t want to scare you,” he finally replied, biting on his lip before he continued. “There was a street gang making a big mess in Brooklyn years ago now. In this type of work, uh, gangs usually coexist. Not always peacefully, of course.”

You took a bite of your sandwich and watched Steve carefully.

“This particular group - called themselves the Red Skulls, led by this absolute menace Johann Schmidt.”

“Oh,” you tipped your head to the side, nodding. “I think I remember hearing about him in the news a few years ago.”

“Probably. They were fucking messy. Schmidt was a piece of work especially. There are a lot of things I do not tolerate in my city and he crossed a very serious line.” Steve rolled his neck. God, maybe he shouldn’t be telling you this. But what did he have to lose now? Honesty was all he had left. “Long story short - we took down one of the Red Skulls trafficking operations. They were kidnapping sex workers.” He took in a sharp breath, eyes closing at the resurfacing memories. “Ma looked after everyone we helped escape and Schmidt retaliated by setting fire to the clinic...”

And Steve had been at some fucking club that night. Volleying between shots of liquor and lines of coke, he nearly missed the most important phone call of his goddamn life. 

Steve lost himself in his downward spiral of thoughts as memories of his mother’s recovery flashed through his mind. When he came back to reality, you were looking at him. There was a strange sadness in your eyes.

“That wasn’t your fault, Steve,” you said quietly, tearing off another piece of your sandwich.

He laughed, shaking his head. “The people I care about, the ones I love - you, included now - there is a target on their back, on your back. Forever. I pushed you away and for what? They still..” He dragged both of his hands down his face, head shaking again. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. For.. everything.”

You blinked again, then looked down at your plate. “When you called me and broke up with – that day. What you said to me, it was so careless and..”

“Mean?” Steve finished for you. That’s what you had said. He was mean. No, he had been worse than mean. It was cruel and he had done it on purpose.

“Yeah. Why couldn’t you just be honest? If you care about me so much, how could you say those things?”

He wasn’t sure if he should answer, if he could. But you were looking at him and waiting.

“I don’t know,” he replied quietly, leaning back in his chair and gazing out towards the window. “Because I wasn’t thinking straight. I was emotionally compromised. Natasha barely talked to me for weeks after that night. That was another constant reminder that I really fucked up..”

You sighed. After a few beats, you finally found some words. “What do we do now?”

He looked back at you. “I know I hurt you. I think about it every single fucking day and I can’t undo it, I wish I could undo it.” He took in a hard breath. “I can’t even ask for you to forgive me because it isn’t fair. Not after tonight. Because after all this, how could you ever?” An empty, somber laugh rumbled through him. “I’m just.. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could press reset.”

The silence hung between you both again. You finished your sandwich and looked back at Steve. 

“I’m tired,” you said softly, stifling a yawn. “Can I.. sleep beside you?”

Steve nodded. “Of course.”

–

You woke up the next morning in Steve’s bed, alone. Somewhere far away, probably in the kitchen, you could hear him on the phone. With a deep sigh, you got up and put yourself back together. 

Hercules trotted towards you as you departed from Steve’s room. You followed him back towards the kitchen where Steve had put a modest little breakfast together. He ended his phone call when he saw you, then joined you at the table with a pot of coffee.

Your conversation was minimal. You briefly panicked as you recalled the fake meeting Ward had arranged for you with Hammond, but Steve was quick to tell you he had dealt with it.

Eventually, after your quiet breakfast, you asked to return to your own apartment. Steve insisted on driving you there and walking you to your door. When you got to your building, you noticed an additional security guard posted near the front desk.

You wondered if Steve had something to do with that.

When you got to your door, you opened it and let Hercules in before you turned to Steve.

You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t sure  what was supposed to happen now. Truthfully, nothing felt real. 

You felt numb.

“Are you gonna be okay here?” Steve asked, tipping his head just slightly to search your face. “If you wanted to stay at a hotel or–”

“No,” you cut him off. “I’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’m just tired. I’m going to take the rest of the day to try and clear my mind.”

“Well, if you need anything at all, call me. Please.”

You hesitated. What were you and Steve now? Friends? Exes? Something more? Something less? You couldn’t figure it out and you were too scared to ask. What did you even want with him?

“Did you unblock my number then?” Your lips twitched into a momentary smile.

Steve didn’t smile back. He was serious and for a second, you watched as he hesitated to reply too. “Of course I did. I never should have..” He closed his eyes. “Call me, anytime. For anything. If something ever feels wrong or someone..” Releasing a long breath, he met your eyes once more. Your name left his lips, quiet, like a whisper. “I can’t figure out what else to say other than that I’m sorry. Again. I just.. I wish I could fix everything and erase what happened last night and.. I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life.”

You squeezed his closest hand. You didn’t know what to say. You raised yourself up slightly onto your toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Then you disappeared into your apartment.

You called your mom that afternoon. And while you didn’t give her any details about what had happened in the last 24 hours of your life, you found it necessary to still call her and tell her how much you loved her. She didn’t ask why you were reaching out or question the way your voice cracked, but you knew she was concerned. 

The rest of the day, you slept on and off. Eventually, you ordered in for dinner and forced yourself to sit with the feelings you were wrestling with. What was it? What was going on?

Were you scared? Yes, sure. Even though the incident had been isolated and specific, even though the men responsible were either in custody with law enforcement or being kept directly underneath Steve’s foot, you had reason to feel unsettled. 

How could you deal with it though? Enough rational thought brought your heart rate down enough to strategize if anything ever happened again. Pepper spray on keychain, maybe one of those spikey keyrings that doubled as defense weapons.. A self defense class? Maria told you she had taken one before and she found it empowering. Maybe you needed to feel empowered, too.

It was strange though, as you let your mind fester over your feelings, one constant helped keep you steady and walked you back from your edge of anxiety. Steve. When you felt unsafe, Steve had helped you, protected you, saved you. 

You didn’t even know what you were to him anymore and yet, he carried on as if you were the most important thing in the world. That helping, protecting, saving you was a responsibility he didn’t take lightly. Steve.. He just.. You just..

Steve. Steve was calling. You shook off your layer of feelings analysis and answered your buzzing phone, sitting up on the couch as you brought it to your ear. It was late.

“Hello?”

“Hey.. thanks for.. I wanted to check in, see how you’re doing. If I’m overstepping, feel free to hang up on me, though.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “You’re not overstepping.” You’re being Steve. “I’m okay, yeah. Calm and mostly relaxed. I’m..”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He paused and you swore you could hear him overthinking what to say next. “Would you tell me the truth though? If you weren’t.. Okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “I would.”

“I appreciate that, really. I know you don’t owe me anything but I’m worried.”

You smiled to yourself. “I’m okay.” You knew repeating it may not reassure him, but it helped you. “Oh, actually. I was thinking about something.. Uhm, when they..” You breathed in slowly. “When they took Hercules, they mentioned some weird threat about him fighting. Is that.. Does that mean they.. That there is a dog fighting, uhm, thing or..” You couldn’t even bear to finish what you were thinking.

“Bucky is already investigating, sweetheart. If that exists, we’re going to stop it. I promise you.”

–––

The next evening, Steve called again. To check in and make sure you were still okay. It was funny - because you had a feeling that his phone calls weren’t the only thing Steve had implemented when it came to ensuring your wellbeing. A new lock system had been installed at the front of your building and that same security guard was patrolling when you left for work that morning too.

The next night he called to see how you were. Then the next and the next and the next.

One night, after you told Steve that you were okay, again, you felt an urge to keep him on the line. For some reason, your conversation started to feel like they used to when you first met - friendly, but a hint of something else, something more. But did you want that? Did he?

“While I have you, though. I was wondering if I had to ask Clint for permission if I wanted to paint my apartment - do you know? Or is it like free reign?”

Steve laughed on his side of the phone. “I can get Clint to find you a painter tomorrow, if you want.”

“Oh, no.” You dismissed that idea quickly. “I want to do it myself. I think it would be fun.”

“Well then, since it’s my building, consider this your permission to paint whatever you want. And if you need some extra hands, I’d be happy to help.”

–––

A week later, you answered another late call from Steve.

“It’s late, I can let you go. I’m sure Hercules is already asleep beside the bed waiting for you..”

You smiled to yourself briefly, then sighed. “I’ve been in bed for a while, actually.”

“Oh.” You heard Steve pause. “You didn’t have to take my call.”

“I can’t sleep tonight.”

He paused again. His voice was slower this time, softer. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just..” It was probably just the late day coffee you had or the tight stress you were holding in your body. “..can’t sleep, I guess.” 

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Maybe you could.. I don’t know, just talk a bit. Tell me a story? From your childhood or high school or something?” You stifled a yawn. “Anything..”

After another beat, Steve’s voice returned in your ear. “Okay. Let’s see. Technically I’m forbidden to share this story but me and Buck had to take a theater class in high school and..”

–––

Steve called you pretty early one night, just as you were coming home from picking up Hercules.

You dropped onto your couch and quickly pulled on the nearest throw blanket the moment you walked into the apartment. When you noticed Steve on the caller ID, you answered right away.  

“Hi,” you said through a yawn, laying flat on the cushions. It sounded like Steve sighed in relief on the other end of the phone. “Steve? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Hey sweetheart,” he continued quickly. Damn. When he slipped in the sweetheart pet name, your heart got really confused. “Just nice to hear your voice.” 

“Are you okay?” You repeated the question, sitting up from your lounging position. 

“I am,” he confirmed. “There’s just something I need to tell you, before you hear about it on the news.”

“Okay..”

“Rumlow - Brock Rumlow.. You remember him?” Before you could answer, Steve laughed. “That’s a stupid question. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten Rumlow.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Steve’s commentary. “No, I haven’t forgotten Brock Rumlow.” Your momentary elation soon disappeared when you considered why Steve might be mentioning Rumlow by name. “What about him?”

“He died today.”

A silence fell between you. “In prison?”

“Yes. Considering how high profile his arrest was, it will likely make the evening news. Maybe it’s already published, I don’t know. I just wanted to warn you before you heard.”

“Okay.” You paused again. “Steve - did you–”

“This had nothing to do with me, surprisingly.” He let out some weird exaggerated laugh again. “I wasn’t his only enemy.” That was Steve choosing what to say and you supposed that was fine. The nitty gritty details really weren’t needed. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

Even though he couldn’t see you, you shrugged, laying back down. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just.. it’s weird to say relieved but..I shouldn’t feel relief over someone’s death, right?  Maybe I don’t know how to react.”

“That’s normal, I’d say.” He paused. “I don’t want you to be scared.”

“I do get scared. I think about that night a lot.” You sighed. “But I’ve lived in New York long enough to know that the weird person on the subway probably doesn’t give a shit about me, so I shouldn’t be worried about them.”

“What weird person on the subway?” Steve asked quickly. You could hear him shuffling, maybe going from sitting to standing. “Where did you see–”

“Steve.” You cut him off, with a quiet laugh. “That was hypothetical. I’ve been alright lately, I promise. And remember, I said I would tell you if I wasn’t.”

You heard him let out a long sigh. “Okay.”

“Thank you for calling me and giving me a heads up though,” you continued. “Maybe I’ll mute my news feeds for a few days.”

–––

You [7:01PM]: what do you think? It has taken a few weeks from start to finish but…

You [7:01PM]: (IMG_9116) S Rogers [7:02PM]: that’s a great colour S Rogers [7:03PM]: so. what was the ratio of paint on wall vs paint on you? You [7:03PM]: wow! Rude. You [7:03PM]: 90/10 You [7:04PM]: (IMG_9121) S Rogers [7:06PM]: very cute S Rogers [7:06PM]: even with paint in your hair ;)

–––

Thanksgiving wasn’t your favourite holiday. The food was fine and sure, it was a great excuse for some time off work.

Into adulthood, you were really appreciative of the friendsgiving tradition instead. Especially because your mother was spending the holiday in Jacksonville with her cousin, leaving you mostly without plans for the big day.

Friendsgiving you took seriously. Claire was hosting this year, the weekend before Thanksgiving since she had to work on the holiday, and you had been tasked with dessert making, which was totally up your alley. Maria had offered assistance, so together you were spending your Friday night making the most out of your oven and counter space. 

It was going well, although you had started a lot later than planned. It made for a late night but you were in good company with Maria. Having a night in with one of your closest friends wasn’t something you took for granted. Between flour measurements and preparing fruit, you and Maria spent the entire night talking. It was exactly what you needed.

Just before midnight, you were taking the pecan pie out of the oven and Maria was finishing off the dishes. Just as you turned to join her at the sink, a loud banging started at your door. You gasped, probably too loudly for a sane person, and met Maria’s wide confused stare.

Hercules awoke from his bed in your room and trotted towards the door, cautious.

You walked over behind him, holding your breath as another knock echoed.

“Jesus, Barnes - you’re going to scare her to death..”

Barnes? Was that.. Clint’s voice?

Maria followed behind you, pausing as you looked through the peephole. 

“Who is knocking on your door at midnight?” Maria asked quietly.

You sighed. Bucky and Clint, apparently. What on earth?

After unlocking the door, you opened it, stopping the bickering men in the middle of their conversation. 

“Hello?” You returned their awkward greetings with a small wave. “Can I help you?”

“What is that smell?” Clint’s eyes widened, looking over your shoulder into the apartment. “Are you baking?”

“Can I help you?” You repeated, turning your attention to Bucky directly. “What are you doing here?”

Bucky let out a breath before dragging a hand down his jaw. “So, here’s the thing, doll. My good friend Steve - you know Steve, right? He’s currently spiraling because you haven’t answered your phone or any of his messages all night..” He stood up a bit straighter, looking between you and Maria. “Given the uh..well, he’s just worried about you. Sent us up to check in.. And, since you are clearly very alive and safe, we should..” He paused. “Do I smell snickerdoodles?”

“Oh my god,” you rolled your eyes, inviting the men inside. Maria grabbed the container of fresh cookies and offered them each one.

“If Steve is concerned, why isn’t he at the door?” Maria wondered out loud. 

“Boundaries,” Clint answered with a mouth full of cookies.

Bucky thwacked him on the shoulder. “Manners, Barton.” Bucky waited to bite his own cookie, then nodded. “He’s politely keeping his distance.”

You sighed, then looked over at Maria. You had filled your friend in on most of the details about you and Steve and what your recent reconnection looked like. Minus the whole warehouse rooftop situation. You weren’t sure how to share that. But the confusing new feelings and conversations.. They had proved difficult to process alone.

Not to mention that after you and Steve had broken up, your friends had loyally become very anti-Steve. Which you very much appreciated and if the roles were reversed, you’d have done the same for them. But people and relationships were complicated. You weren’t sure how your friends would react to the whole thing.

Maria, for example, had been incredibly cautious and resistant when you filled her in. Not that she didn’t believe in giving people second chances - but instead held true to the fact that all men were just big clueless morons who never did the right thing. You couldn’t fault her for that opinion either. But even if you figured out your own feelings and walls, you’d never be able to really date Steve again if your friends hated him.

“Hmm,” Maria leaned against your counter, removing the dish cloth from her shoulder as she organized her things. “Well, you should walk me out.” She turned to you. “Points to Steve for respecting boundaries and still caring about you, but I’d feel better seeing him grovel up close.”

Clint let out a belly laugh. “Me too”

While Maria and Clint headed out, you took the opportunity to put Hercules’ leash on for one last trip outside before bed. When you stepped into the hallway, Bucky was waiting for you. 

“This isn’t my place and I know you’re smart enough,” he started slowly, dropping his hand down to accept a lick from Hercules. “But you know you don’t owe Steve anything right? I told him that the day might come where you don’t answer his phone calls and he has to deal with it on his own. If you close the door, he will keep his distance.”

You scrunched up your face, then shrugged. “Thanks, Bucky. Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of emotional support for him.”

“You have no idea, doll. It’s part of my role as lifelong best friend, unfortunately. It’s a heavy burden to bear,” Bucky laughed, shrugging too. “He’s got some demons to work through - I guess we all do. Right now with you though? He’s trying real hard not to look like he’s trying.”

You caught up with Clint and Maria at the elevator then headed to the lobby. As you walked out, you spotted Sam leaning against the front desk, chatting with the overnight doorman. And then there was Steve - standing at attention, hands locked behind his back, an equal distance between the front entrance and the elevators. He was dressed in what you considered his normal attire - a crisp navy suit over a plain shirt, no tie. He made effortless look so damn good and you sort of hated it.

When he saw you, he took a few strides forward.

Bucky and Clint joined Sam to the side while Maria lingered behind your shoulder. Hercules tugged on his leash and pulled you towards Steve immediately, clearly overjoyed to see him. 

“Hey,” you started as you approached. “I unintentionally ignored your calls, I’m sorry. Just plugged my phone in and forgot about it for a while.” 

Steve shook his head quickly. You couldn’t help but see his resolve lighten, as if seeing you caused his shoulders to relax. “You don’t have to apologize. I shouldn’t have dragged everyone here, there was just this..” Whatever Steve was going to say, he seemed to change his mind. He blinked twice then scanned you. “Is that.. flour?” He reached and brushed your shoulder clean.

“We’ve been baking,” you filled in quickly, doing your best to try and read him. “Claire is hosting us for Friendsgiving tomorrow and–”

“You should come!” Maria blurted out from behind you. 

With wide eyes, you looked over your shoulder at her. ‘What?’ you mouthed. 

Now it was Maria’s turn to shrug. “Claire said her cousin had to bail so there’s an extra seat and..” She took a step forward, nodding at you in reassurance before looking at Steve. “And Luke will be there. So.. you know, you’ll have a friend..”

“I thought Claire invited Matt?” You couldn’t help but ask as your brain caught up to you. “That doesn’t..” You turned back to Steve. “You are more than welcome to come. I know you’re busy and have a lot of–”

“I’d love to,” Steve answered slowly, as if trying to make sure you were even okay with the concept. You reached out and grabbed his nearest hand, with a squeeze. That seemed to be reassurance enough. “What can I bring?”

Steve and his crew left shortly after, not before Steve gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. You forced Maria to join you outside with Hercules before her Uber showed up. The fresh air was something you really needed to cool down. 

“So,” You turned to Maria, tipping your head to the side dramatically. “What the hell was that?”

Maria whined out your name, shaking her head. “That guy is in love with you. And trust me, he has a long way to go before I will trust him again, but damn. He looks at you like you’re the most important person on the planet. And I think you love him too.”

“Maria..” You sighed, leaning your head onto her shoulder. “I don’t know how things got so complicated.”

“I just want you to be happy and safe,” she carried on, giving you a small pat on the head. “I get that not everyone is into second chances but.. I don’t know, life is short. If you feel comfortable giving the guy another chance, then we could too. Maybe. Wanda for sure can get on board, Claire might have some reservations.”

“And inviting Steve tomorrow is supposed to be some test?”

“Obviously,” Maria smirked, looking like you had said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “I think it’s only fair for us to really get to know him.”

–––

Claire lived in a beautiful rent controlled apartment in the middle of Harlem. She complained about the location every now and then - it wasn’t the smoothest commute for her to get to work - but at the end of the day, it was functional and roomy. 

Which was good, considering you, Claire and Maria had rearranged most of her living room and kitchen area to host a dozen people for Friendsgiving. With a set of borrowed chairs and a folding table from Claire’s downstairs neighbour, you managed to set up the area just in time before everyone started to arrive.

When Maria had spilled in the group chat about inviting Steve to dinner, Claire had been apprehensive but on board, for your sake. And although you had been grateful for your friends’ open mindedness when it came to Steve, you were suddenly nervous about the whole thing.

Mostly because - oh god, what if he had a terrible time? Or what if he got a phone call in the middle of dinner and had to disappear? Was he going to bring a gun with him? Jesus, you hadn’t even thought about that and what if-

Claire dropped a hand on your shoulder. “Girl, you need to chill.” She urged a glass of your preferred wine into your free hand and sent you away from the kitchen area. “He’s just a man, remember.”

You laughed and clinked your glass with hers. Claire was always a good voice of reason, which you appreciated. You turned to her with a smile. “A good reminder, thank you. But speaking of men - why did you invite both your current fling and your ex to this?”

Before Claire could defend her own actions, Maria was answering a knock at the door and guests started to arrive. After a few arrivals, you were the one greeting at the door and you couldn’t hold back your smile when Steve showed up, with Luke at his side.

“Hey,” you said, politely stepping aside to let Luke in while you lingered in the doorway with Steve. “You look nice.” It felt silly to say but you couldn’t help yourself. Steve had traded his typical suit for a pair of dark brown slacks and a knitted red striped polo. His hair was perfectly coiffed and you just wanted to… kiss him. Damnit.

Steve smirked in response, pulling you into a side hug. “You look nice, sweetheart.” Okay, yes, you had picked out one of your favourite dresses. But that was because you wanted to dress up for Friendsgiving, that was the only reason.

After he shed his coat, you noticed Steve was carrying flowers. You didn’t even have a moment to comment on them before he headed towards the kitchen, where he presented the bouquet directly to Claire. She accepted them with a smile, and when he turned away, you caught her eye. She pointed towards the flowers and mouthed ‘Ten points!’

It didn’t surprise you that Steve managed to socialize effectively with everyone he just met, but he truly did such an impressive job holding conversations. Before dinner, he engrossed himself in a chat with Claire’s on-again-off-again ex-boyfriend Matt, the lawyer, and his coworker Foggy. They seemed to have some common interests in certain legal matters that mostly sounded incredibly boring to you. 

Steve stayed within your orbit and even when you were in the kitchen finalizing a few things with Claire, you caught him looking your way. Why did that make your heart beat so fast?

You sat at his side for dinner and when everyone was going around sharing what they were thankful for, Steve’s hand found your knee under the table. When you said you were thankful for all the people in your life (and your dog, of course), Steve gave you a delicate squeeze and rubbed his thumb against your thigh. 

After dinner, he found you in the kitchen.

“You know, Bucky was bragging all night about your cookies,” Steve saddled up beside you as you leaned against the kitchen counter, while you nibbled at the last piece of apple pie. Steve grabbed a spare fork and joined you. “They ain’t got nothing on this pie.”

You smiled. “Glad you liked it.”

“Apple is my favourite,” Steve replied, licking his lip after cleaning off his fork. “Ma makes a good one but I think she has some competition.”

“That seems like really high praise,” you laughed, leaning against the counter. Steve mirrored you, resting his hand behind your back. It was subtle, maybe even barely noticeable, but he very slowly started to trace circles against the soft fabric of your dress. You were melting. “I’m really glad you came. Hopefully it wasn’t too painful for you.”

He tipped his head to look at you. “We will have to thank Maria for inviting me.”

When Steve politely offered you a ride home, you couldn’t say no. Since you were both heading towards the same area of Brooklyn, it made a lot more sense than taking the subway. As you were leaving, Clarie, Maria and Wanda all gave you the same friendly judgemental look. You accepted that as approval for your actions, departing with a small smile and Steve’s hand at your back.

In typical Steve fashion, he walked you inside and to your apartment door. And then he even happily joined as you took Hercules outside for some air.

Then, well, the night was over. Steve had come to dinner, Steve had brought you home. What else was there to do?

“You can share those cookies with Bucky,” you said with a smile as you stood in the hallway, between Steve and your door. You were sending him home with the rest of the snickerdoodles. “Or keep them all to yourself.”

Steve smiled, raising his hand to brush it through his hair. God, that was sexy. Had that always been sexy? What was going on? Why were you feeling this way?

“Thank you again for letting me join you tonight,” he said slowly, then his feet shuffled forward half a step closer to you. “Hopefully your friends don’t hate me.”

You laughed, sliding your tongue across your lips. You watched his eyes dart down, watching carefully. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Steve..”

Then he leaned in, holding your hips with his hands, and pressed his lips… to your cheek. You tried not to deflate. 

His palms lingered against you for a moment, then he pulled back. You couldn’t read his face. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” 

–

You texted him well after midnight.

You [1:12AM]: are you awake? S Rogers [1:12AM]: yes

Steve answered your call after the first ring. “Is everything okay?” 

You couldn’t believe you had actually hit ‘call’  but something deep within you compelled you to. It was dark in your bedroom and you couldn’t stop thinking about Steve. You had been restless in bed for over an hour as his face flashed through your mind. Steve with his broad shoulders. Steve with his lingering hands. The way his chain bounced on his chest, how he growled when he came…

Just moments ago you had reached into your bedside table for your little vibrating toy. It wasn’t the first time you had put it to use thinking about Steve. But this time, you were imagining him tearing off that knit polo, the lingering smell of his aftershave, his weight on you. 

If you couldn’t feel him, maybe you could hear him.

“I’m fine..” You said slowly. “Are you at home?” It occurred to you he might have gone directly to Shield after he dropped you off. 

Your name left his lips, drawing your attention back to the call. “I’m home. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“What’s wrong is..” You tried to steady your breathing. Your voice dropped down. “.. you’re not in bed beside me.”

Silence. Then, you heard his breath hitch. “Baby..”

“I can’t..” You were whining into the phone. “I want to come, Steve. Will you help me? Please?.”

He chuckled, lowering his voice. “I can’t say no to that request, sweetheart. Tell me - what are you doing? You using that toy?”

“Uh huh,” you preened back. You had been sliding it across your skin, teasing yourself for as long as you could. “I’ve been thinking about you, Stevie. You and me.”

“Me too, baby. Fuck.” You could hear more shuffling on his side. Christ. Was he touching himself too? “Listen to me, I’m going to help you. Bet you’re already wet, aren’t you?”

You just whined in response.

“Turn that toy up a notch, baby. Circle your clit real slow. And what about your nipples? God, if I was there–”

“Tell me, please. If you were here..”

Half an hour later, as your laboured breathing settled after two quivering orgasms, Steve wished you goodnight and sweet dreams. 

–––

Given it was the night before Thanksgiving, your boss has been flexible when you had to dash out early. The frantic call from Kate at the dog daycare had been surprising, but thankfully your heart rate steadied out when you learned that Hercules was okay. They hadn’t spared any other details, but politely asked owners to come collect their dogs earlier than usual.

Truthfully, you had barely been functional at work all week anyway. Sure, you went through the motions and got your tasks done but before a long weekend, most people were half-assing their responsibilities anyway. And your mind was still racing after Friendsgiving dinner and the phone call with Steve and… Steve. 

Fuck.

You were one of the last to arrive at the daycare, patiently waiting in line to check Hercules out. Once you had him, leash in hand, you turned to leave. Then you spotted Natasha and Yelena chatting quietly to the side of the room, and, well, you couldn’t help but follow your gut.

You saw Yelena there quite often, but Natasha was a rare sighting. Ever since your conversation with Steve after the whole warehouse incident, something had been pricking at the back of your mind.

“..Natasha barely talked to me for weeks after that night..”

Taking a deep breath, you headed toward the sisters. Luckily, it seemed like their conversation had come to an end anyway as Yelena rushed past you with a hurried hello, then joined Kate somewhere behind the scenes. Nataha remained planted where she stood, scanning over her phone. She tipped her head up as you approached.

“Hey,” you started out slowly, offering a reluctant smile. 

Nat crouched briefly, greeting Hercules with a few head scratches before she met your gaze again. “How are you?”

“I was wondering if.. you had like two minutes to chat?” You asked, eyes closed tight as you anticipated her answer. You weren’t sure what it was about Natasha, but she intimated you immensely. You weren’t scared of her but something made you want to impress her. 

Natasha looked at her phone again, eyes narrowed, then back to you. “I can give you five.” With a nod of her head, you followed her behind the front desk and into the small staff kitchen area opposite the main daycare space.

While Natasha dropped onto one of the well worn couches, quickly joined by Hercules as you let go of his leash, you couldn’t steady yourself. All at once, your burning questions and thoughts swirled around in your mind. Then, you took a deep breath and opened your mouth.

“Steve told me a few weeks ago, that when we broke up..  he said you stopped talking to him for a while. I wanted to ask you why..” You raised a shoulder up to shrug, then watched Natasha from across the room.

After a few beats, she let out a quiet laugh. Then, she leaned forward on the couch, elbow resting on her knees, and she stared at you. “Can I be frank with you?”

You swallowed, then found a chair to sit on near a small table. “I’d rather you be Natasha..” When that clearly shielded attempt at humour landed no response, you cleared your throat and nodded. “Yes, please.”

Natasha sighed. “Steve trusts me and when he asks me for advice, I don’t sugar coat it. Dating Steve is not an easy task and your wellbeing is his top priority. So I get why he made his decision. But I did firmly advise him not to be an asshole about it. It was going to hurt you either way, but it was up to him to control the delivery.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, well, he did a terrible job.” It didn’t sting as much anymore – really. Given how much your friendship or whatever had evolved with him now, the words didn’t echo through your mind like they used to. You understood why he had made his choices and you could see his remorse in every interaction you’ve had since. Of course, it wasn’t possible to erase what had happened but you and Steve both looked back at it differently now.

Natasha relaxed again, pressing her back into the couch. “I have known Steve for a long time and I have rarely seen him act as selfishly as he did. You deserved better than a breakup over a phone call. Jesus, when he told me what he said – I should have gut punched him. In an attempt to protect you, he fucked up something good for you both. It’s bullshit and embarrassing.” Another sigh escaped her. “And, you didn’t hear this from me, but Steve has never let himself be happy. Because this world and this work can really leave you numb. He was so different once you came into his life, it was something else. So, I was rooting for you two.”

You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks warm up with her last sentence. This seemed like something rare, a secret revealed from someone prone to privacy. 

“I see why he made his self sacrifice with you. It is classic Steve, if he cares about something, he cares deeply and shows it.” She pinned you with a stare, giving you another once over. “Here’s the thing. You get to decide if you want to forgive him but if you look back over everything – every single moment with Steve – was there a pattern that makes forgiveness worth it?” Her phone, which had been resting on the couch beside her leg, started to vibrate. “Shit. I’ve gotta take this.”  

Natasha stepped away briefly, keeping her tone hushed.

Christ, you probably need a therapist to start unpacking everything that Natasha had just presented. Was there a pattern?

Yes.

Every single action from Steve since the beginning had been, well, selfless. He was constantly putting your needs above everything else. The day you saved him outside the restaurant, he took you to the one person he trusted the most for care. When you called him in distress during your apartment break in, he didn’t hesitate to come help you.

He picked up on your subtleties, your fears and concerns. He moved you to a safer apartment, he protected you from unsavoury people, he pleaded for your understanding, he always left you feeling satisfied. More importantly, he let himself be himself around you. You loved seeing the personal, soft side of Steve. You.. you loved Steve. And maybe it was time to take the leap of faith again - because you missed him when he wasn’t around. 

Fuck. 

Before your logical brain could catch up and decide what to do with this revelation, Natasha was standing in front of you again. Her eyes were hiding something.

You held your breath when she finally spoke.

“So, speaking of Steve…”

–––

Ever since that night, at the abandoned warehouse, on that rooftop.. Steve had been on edge. More than before. You were constantly on his mind, and despite his efforts to ensure you were safe, he couldn’t settle. 

Well, until he got to hear your voice every night. That… that started to mean more to him than he could explain. It was different this time around - the slow build to flirting, wrapped underneath a foundation of familiarity. 

But it felt like that spark from before had returned, though he couldn’t act on it. 

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

Bucky had been his voice of reason through all of the confusing feelings. He kept Steve grounded in reality - that the ball was in your court only, forever. If you were ever going to humour Steve again, it was your choice, at your pace. And maybe it would never happen. Bucky had reminded Steve more than once. 

Every agonizing decision Steve was making lately had you at the forefront. Maybe it wouldn’t end up how he wanted it, but if you were safe and secure and happy, nothing else mattered.

Though it had been completely irrational for Steve to make the crew rush to your apartment on a Friday night, the precautionary gamble ended up paying off. Not only were you perfectly safe, but Steve had somehow managed to end up with an invitation to dinner with your friends.

And dinner had gone surprisingly well too. The moments with you and in your world, away from his own, had been so calming. A reminder that life existed outside of the seedy underbelly, where friendly conversation and good food were the only reason why people got together. God, he had enjoyed every minute of it. But more than anything, he was happy to be at your side.

Leaving your doorway that night with just a simple kiss on the cheek had been hard for him to do. But everything needed to go at your pace. If that meant an inappropriate late night phone call, he’d help you out, too. 

He was fucked.

Admittedly, the past few days had been a welcome distraction following Saturday night. Some events in his business life ended up escalating way quicker than Steve had anticipated - which largely meant ignoring other priorities (and thoughts of you) to assist Bucky with his latest project - the dog fighting ring investigation.

Steve had kept Rhodes in the loop about their plan, much to the former DA’s dismay. Steve had made it his own personal mission to take down this underground operation and he promised Rhodes the public credit. But Steve needed the NYPD to turn a blind eye to their plan.

The ambush took place that Wednesday afternoon, with Bucky, Steve, Sam and a few additional men breaking into an abandoned facility in north Queens and going in with plenty of ammunition. They recovered nearly a dozen dogs, most of which immediately went to a veterinary hospital to be checked out. The pups who didn’t need overnight care were to be transferred to Kate’s facility for the weekend, with the costs covered by Steve.

But, after all was said and done, not everyone had left unscathed. Four of the people organizing the dog fighting were sent to a hospital with some severe wounds thanks to Bucky. And Steve, out of all people, had ended up with a pretty dramatic gash in his left arm from one of the dogs. He didn’t blame the poor animal for the situation, of course. But medical attention was necessary.

That was how he ended up at his mom’s clinic - once again. Sarah Rogers had, of course, greeted him warmly then delivered a firm lecture to him about his personal safety.

Just as Sarah was finishing up cleaning his arm and applying a few temporary sutures to the area, there was a small commotion happening somewhere beyond their room at the entrance.

Steve didn’t hesitate to rush towards the lobby area, finding the intake nurse addressing someone at the door. That’s when he saw who that someone was - you.

Maybe he had lost more blood than he thought, but damn. With the late afternoon sunset streaming in, backlighting you perfectly, it looked like a halo of light. A perfect ring of light framing you, like an angel - as you desperately asked the front desk nurse about Steve, where he was, if he was okay.

The nurse was caught in a repetitive loop, explaining that she couldn’t say who was at the clinic and insisting that dogs weren’t allowed in the building and you needed to leave and –

Steve took a few steps forward, calling out your name. 

Sarah hurried behind the desk and calmed down the girl who sat there, quietly pulling her to the side to leave Steve alone. With you.

“Steve!” You blinked twice and rushed towards him, stopping yourself before you crashed into his chest. “Natasha told me you were here and.. What happened?” You reached out and carefully grabbed his arm, where fresh gauze covered the bite.

Steve answered quickly, removing your hand from his arm and raising it up to kiss the back. “It looks worse than it is, I promise.”

You smiled at him and nodded. “Okay. Good.” Then you took a deep breath. “And all the dogs - they’re safe?”

“Yes, sweetheart. All receiving the care and rest they deserve.” Before Steve realized what was happening, you were throwing your arms around him. He whispered your name softly, rubbing a hand down your back. 

You pulled back and met his soft gaze. “Steve..” You scanned over him again, as if double checking what he said was true. Aside from the bandaging on his arm, Steve truthfully was unharmed. His emotions had been a rollercoaster but for some reason, seeing you had helped settle most of that.

His hand moved and cradled your jaw for just a moment, before brushing against your cheek. “Did you rush all the way here because you were worried about me?”

Your eyes widened before you shook your head. “What? No. I’m not.. It was Hercules, actually, who wanted to make sure all the dogs were okay.” 

Steve couldn’t hold back his grin. “Right.”

“We-” You motioned your head towards Hercules, who was sitting patiently nearby - “weren’t sure what Natasha meant when she said you were injured and..” A long slow breath escaped you. “I just needed to see you.”

Steve could understand your panic, given how he had dramatically rushed to your apartment building over the weekend. Those parallels weren’t lost on him. It had to mean something, right? It all had to mean something.

Your reunion was interrupted by Steve’s ringing phone, where he cursed under his breath before moving his hands from you. “I’ve gotta take this, I’m sorry.”

While Steve took his call from Bucky, you were quickly greeted by an excited Sarah, who grabbed your hand and pulled you away to catch up.

–––

Following your reunion at the clinic, Steve had one of his hands on you. Behind your back, holding your hand, his own hand on your knee on the drive back. He only let go briefly to let you hug Sarah goodbye, after you accepted her invitation to Thanksgiving dinner the next day.

Now, back at your apartment, all you could think about was what was Steve, Steve, Steve. His phone had buzzed with another call from Bucky the moment you stepped inside. He apologized before answering, and you could have sworn you heard him cursing his friend out.

You refreshed Hercules water and food bowls then went into your bedroom, trying to tidy the place up. When you went to pull your blinds down, you couldn’t help but find yourself distracted by the city. Although your view wasn’t as impressive as Steve’s penthouse, you could see into the Brooklyn streets below. At the right angle, you could even see the final orange glow of the sunset through some of the buildings.

It had proved to be a big enough distraction because you didn’t even hear Steve end his call or walk into the room behind you. Instead, you felt his hands on your shoulders, slowly wrapping around and pulling you against his chest. His lips brushed the top of your head.

“Everything good?” You murmured as his hands started to trail their way down your body.

“Mmhmm,” Steve replied quietly, dipping his head down, breathing hot against the side of your neck. “Is this okay?”

You closed your eyes. “Yes but..” It took everything in you to pause, but you turned around in his arms and did just that. “Wait.”

He immediately stopped what he was doing, removing his hands from you as he searched your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answered too quickly. 

He said your name knowingly then repeated himself. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Okay, okay. I’m just going to say it. Steve, I want this again - with you. I want us to press reset but I’m really fucking scared.”

You watched Steve absorb your words. Telling the truth was something you knew you had to do, but you hoped Steve understood. He was still, but you could see his brain computing.

“And it’s not about the… rooftop thing. Although.. I definitely don’t think back to that night fondly.” You shook your head as you continued. “I’m scared you’re going to change your mind again. Because I don’t know if I can feel like that again. I’ve convinced myself that the good feelings outweigh that risk but..” Your voice cracked. “I’m scared.”

Steve grabbed your hands and turned you enough to help you sit on the bed. He crouched down in front of you, tracing his thumbs across your knees. “Sweetheart. Hurting you was the biggest regret of my life. I know my words can only mean so much but I want you to hear me.” You met his gaze and nodded. “I’m an idiot. An idiot who will do everything in his power to prove to you how much you mean to me. I can’t undo what I said and resetting doesn’t make it go away. But I love you and want to make this work for us if you’ll give me this chance.”

You raised your hands and cradled his face. “That was quite the speech.”

He smirked. “I mean it, baby. Every word.”

“Okay.” You took in another breath then let it out slowly.

“Okay?” Steve asked.

“Okay, let’s reset.” Your hands left his cheeks, carding through his hair as your lips crashed into his. Kissing Steve didn’t feel like going back to the beginning though - it felt like picking up where you left off. 

Steve didn’t waste a moment responding, hands traveling to the back of your neck to steady you as he pushed you down on the bed. Everything happening now, in that moment, was all that mattered to you both. Steve wanted you, you wanted him. Nothing else needed to make sense.

Your hands roamed down Steve’s torso as he hovered over you, pulling at his shirt and trying to make quick work of the buttons. Steve shed his shirt without his lips leaving you, pressing hot wet kisses against your cheek, down towards your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, gasping when his teeth grazed your shoulder.

“Less clothes,” he whined out, removing himself from you long enough for your top to come off. He stood off the bed briefly to slip out of his pants, while you shimmied out of your jeans. You were left in just your underwear, some very unsexy unmatched set. 

But lord, the way Steve looked at you. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said firmly, crawling back over you on the bed. He braced himself above you again, tracing a finger up your jaw to tip your chin up. 

You felt your cheeks grow warm. “Steve..”

‘“I’m sorry if what I said… on that phone call - if it ever made you doubt how fucking beautiful you are.” He dipped his head down and met your lips again, softer this time. “I love you, the shape of your body..” He trailed his kisses down you again, towards your chest. “Your heart..” His hands moved down the same way, tracing gently across your chest, along your soft stomach, on top of every single piece of you that you didn’t always love. “I love all of you.”

“Steve,” you whimpered under his touch, squeezing your eyes shut. “Please don’t make me cry.” You choked out a laugh, tipping your head back to mind your happy tears. When you looked back, he was staring at you with a lovestruck smile again. “Thank you. I love you too.”

He grinned, once again leaning down to press his lips to your skin. This time, it was just above your belly button. “It’s okay to cry, sweetheart. But how about I make you come instead?”

How could you argue with that?

Steve surveyed your form intently as he got back to work, hands and lips peppering against your skin. He slid his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and slid them down your legs. You helped to kick them away, just as Steve was licking his lips. 

His eyes flicked to you. “Lay back, baby. Get comfortable.” 

You were quick to shift on the bed, into your pillows. Just as you rested your head back, you felt the bed sink slightly just between your legs. Then the soft kisses that had been decorating your skin were inside your thighs. And then–

You let out a whimper when his mouth met your center. You knew you were already wet, but when Steve growled against your clit and slid a finger into you, it felt like a flood. 

“Oh my g-god, Steve.” With one hand, you grasped at his hair. The other dragged across your chest, pulling your own bra down to grab your nipples. “Yes, yes, please.”

Your eyes squeezed shut, breathless as Steve continued stroking, suctioning against your clit as your moans grew louder. When another finger entered you, crooked inside in search of just the right spot, you nearly combusted. And when you did careen over the edge just moments later, Steve didn’t slow down. 

In a daze you sat up slightly to watch him work. He was drowning in you, his own hips grinding against the bed as he consumed you. Jesus fucking Christ - that was hot. Steve was hot. This - this was hot.

“Steve,” you called for him as his mouth finally slowed down, returning to slow kisses against the inside of your thighs again. He looked up and met your eyes, drunk with love and contentment. “I need to feel you - please.”

“Okay, baby,” he replied with a soft smile. “Let me take care of you.” He shucked off his boxers and crawled up the bed again, hovering above you once more. 

You raked your hands over his chest when he was close enough, gripping his hips as you pulled him down and kissed him. Your own taste lingered on his lips and tongue as he breathed into you.

“You ready?” He asked softly, reaching between your waists to position himself.

“Mmhmm,” you whispered, pressing another kiss against him. “Please.”

“Fuck,” Steve cursed out, eyes closing as he pushed himself in. God, you fit together so well. Once he felt comfortable, watching you for the right signs of pleasure, he moved out slowly before finding a rhythm.

“Steve, I missed you so much..”  You wrapped your hands around his neck, in an attempt to keep him as close to you as possible. With one hand, he held one of your legs up, just enough to elicit better friction. And with the other, he cradled the back of your neck. “Missed this - this stretch..”

You could feel him smiling as he kissed you again. His hips sped up, adding just enough extra pressure that you could really feel him. You’d feel him tomorrow, too.

“My girl,” he said breathlessly against your neck. “Always. Mine..” His mouth ravaged your neck and shoulders. “Want this forever.. Want you forever..” He slowed down momentarily. “Wanna fill you up, baby.”

“Yes, yes please..” you said in return, scratching across his back with your hands as you braced yourself. A low growl escaped him as he came. He tensed up as he finished, weight heavy on top of you as you both caught your breaths.

As his head rested near yours, his lips pressed against your earlobe. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I love you.”

You were still laying in a daze when Steve returned to you in the bed after cleaning up, placing a cup of tea on the bedside table closest to you. His own matching cup rested in his hands. You sat up, pulling up the sheet with you as you rested against the headboard.

Shifting slightly, you pivoted to look at him. “I really missed you.”

He grinned. “So you said.”

“No, not just that.” You gave his shoulder a small nudge, careful not to jostle his tea. “I just like being around you.”

His smile softened. “Me too.” He drew in a long breath and moved his cup to the side table before continuing. He said your name, drawing your gaze to his. “Resetting doesn’t make who I am go away.”

You gulped. “I know.” He seemed to be searching for what to say next, so you continued instead. “I can’t pretend to understand why you do what you do. And I don’t decide what is right and wrong. Neither of us do.” You took a deep breath. “But I want to be with you. That makes me feel a little bit crazy but maybe that’s part of being in love.”

Steve laughed. “You’re in love, huh.”

Rolling your eyes, you fell into his side. “Yeah, unfortunately.”

“And I love you, baby.” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, against his heart. He kissed your forehead. “I’m going to keep my professional life at bay. I won’t be able to stop it from bleeding into this but I promise you I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I take that privilege seriously.” You felt him squeeze you a bit tighter. “Though I do think there are some precautions we can take, too.”

“We?” You pulled back slightly and watched him.

“I’m going to get you something for your keys and pepper spray for your bag. How would you feel about taking a self-defense class?”

You scrunched up your face as you considered. “It has been on my to-do list for a long time.” Even without a high profile partner like Steve, knowing you feel prepared in times of danger was something you knew was important. You probably should have prioritized it sooner, really.

“Natasha teaches a class, actually. At her gym.”

“Natasha has a gym?” You nodded. “Yeah, okay. I could do that. Will you take the class with me?”

Steve laughed again. “I don’t need self-defense training, sweetheart.”

“But then we can practice together. C’mon, pleeease.”

Steve groaned, but it was evident very quickly he’d do anything you asked. So, he nodded. “Fine.”

You paused. “You’re not going to make me carry a gun, are you?”

“First of all, I’d never make you do anything.” He sat up a bit straighter, face stern. “And no, absolutely not. I hope you are never in a position where that kind of defense is required.”

You settled against him again. Big conversations like this were expected and you knew it made sense to feel a bit scared still. But, that wasn’t the feeling lingering in your stomach anymore. No, it was more like… safety, contentment, familiarity.

It was something akin to being home.

–––

Shield closed down on Christmas Eve and reopened on New Years Eve, so you weren’t sure why Steve needed to check in there in the middle of the holiday week. Sure, his office was upstairs but he had vowed to do as little work as possible over your days off together. And yet, after a lovely dinner together, he apologetically announced there was something there he needed to check in on.

You had shared a few delicious plates at May’s, a small Italian place in Queens. Steve had given you a history of the restaurant on your way - it was one of the first properties he invested in years ago so it was clearly a special place. When you arrived, the server had immediately showed you to a more intimate table tucked away in the back corner. 

Wine and food arrived at the table without a menu or many words exchanged between the server and Steve. After you had finished eating - polishing off one of the best tiramisus you had ever tasted - the restaurant owner, May, came out to say hello.

When you left without mentioning a bill, you had a feeling that the business Steve did with May extended beyond just being a landlord. You didn’t ask any questions though.

Over the last month with Steve, the questionable moments were quite rare. He really did maintain the boundary between his personal life and everything else, with only a bit of a crossover. You had joined him at the club a few times - because you realized dating the club owner eliminated all the awful things you hated about going out. You never had to wait for entrance or for a drink ever again. Your friends especially liked the free drinks and safe rides home, too.

That was only a fringe benefit of being with Steve though. What really stood out to you was just Steve. Getting to know each other all over again had been exciting and fulfilling, in many ways. 

You kept up your nightly phone calls. Well, when you weren’t crashing at his or him dropping into your bed, you kept up the calls. You had spent Thanksgiving with him at Sarah’s and were greeted with boxes of childhood photos to fawn over. For Christmas, you, Steve and Sarah had all travelled up to Albany to spend the day cooking and celebrating with your mom. 

Slowly, it seemed your worlds would be blending together. And you weren’t really sure what the future was going to hold and how that might transpire, but you decided it was worth seeing what could happen. Because being with Steve seemed worth it.

“I promise this won’t take too long,” Steve’s voice broke you from your thoughts, as he parked his car near the back exit of the club. It was a small lot reserved for Steve and Shield staff members only, currently only occupied by one other black car. You weren’t sure who that belonged to. Maybe Natasha was there doing inventory of the bar before New Years.

You gave him a smile from the passenger seat, leaning over to meet his lips for a kiss. “Remember that we have a big day of sleeping in without an alarm tomorrow so..” He smirked. “Take all the time you need.”

Steve bounded out of the car and raced around to help you out, extending his hand to ensure you stepped safely onto the asphalt. You had dressed up for dinner, picking out your favourite black dress paired with some heels that didn’t cause you too much pain to walk in. Steve had grinned like a schoolboy when he picked you up, which made you feel, well, beautiful. You had paired the dress with your Christmas gift from him - a stunning gold and diamond pendant, shaped like a wing. A matching wing now sat with the chain on his neck, too.

You clutched Steve’s hand as you headed through the backdoor of the club. From the dark back hallway, you could have sworn you could hear music playing somewhere. Maybe it was just the memory of whatever song was just playing in Steve’s car.

As you twisted down the hallway, past the back office, storage rooms, and the back stairs up towards the second floor, the music grew a bit louder. You definitely heard music. You tried to ask Steve what was going on but he just squeezed your hand, threw a mischievous grin over his shoulder and carried on.

When you finally made it to the main club area, it was still pitch black. The music kept playing. You grasped both of Steve’s hands in a panic and by the time you had formed a sentence to ask a worried question, the lights powered on.

But it wasn’t the regular industrial overhead lights. Nor was it the multicoloured pot lights that danced around to match the beat of the club music. No, this was something else. 

Above you, the multicoloured lights were steady and emitting just a soft blue tone. Across the open railings above, partitioning off the downstairs area from the VIPs upstairs, various strands of string lights were hung and illuminated. It made the club area feel almost intimate. 

You dropped Steve’s hands and turned around, speechless as you took it all in. On the end of the bar, you spotted a bottle of champagne sitting on ice with two matching glasses waiting. The music playing above you switched to something softer. An old song crackled through the speakers.

You turned back to Steve, who was gazing at you.

He stepped towards you, hand extended. “Dance with me, sweetheart?”

How could you say no to that request?

Steve helped you take off your coat and  discarded his own. Then he pulled you towards the very center of the room, under a now spinning disco ball that splashed flickers of light around the space. 

“Steve,” you started, resting your head against his chest. One of his palms cradled the small of your back while the other grasped your hand, hovering in the air as he led you in slow circles.. “Did you do this all just for me?”

He chuckled. You could feel it rumble through him. “Bucky helped me out.”

You smiled, squeezing his hand in response. You didn’t know what to say. 

And maybe that was okay, because at that moment, it was just you and Steve. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I promise I’ll always dance with you.”

FIN

-----

Author's Note: Thank you again so much for reading! I have a few ideas for additional one shots in this AU, including a smutty little threesome fic and a small story with Bucky and a girl from the club. if you have any questions or want to know more about this universe or Steve and Reader, please please drop into my inbox or the comments!! love you all!!

[charmandabear]

Blood and Brandy

Summary:

Astarion and Jaheira both need a little bit of a release after the events with the Elder Brain.

Pairing: Astarion/Jaheira Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3.3k Tags/Warnings: outdoor sex, piv, cunnilingus, vampire bites, praise kink, pet names

She's writing again! And this one was particularly fun to write, thank you @whispering-depths for the commission! I've gotten into the gif making game, so here are a few more inspired by this fic. Also, huge shout outs to @githyankidanky, @danse--macabre, and @sanguine-sunlight for championing the Jahstarion tag, y'all are the real heroes of this fic.

Read it on AO3.

Astarion comes swaggering into the Elfsong, waving down Alan for his usual post-hunt wine. It’s rarely a pleasant taste, but after the thrill of taking down an elk twice the size of him, he needs something to help him settle down enough to trance. He has no idea what time it is, only that it’s after midnight, so he’s surprised to see Jaheira sitting in an armchair in the corner, nursing a brandy and reading an issue of The Baldur’s Mouth. After swiping his wine glass off the bar, he makes his way over to her, hoping that his gait is more of a saunter than a stumble.

“Well if it isn’t the noble Jaheira,” he croons, perching himself on the arm of her chair and leaning his elbow onto the back. “Don’t you know that the Witching Hour is only for vampires and the deeply lonely?”

“How convenient, then, that you are both,” she lobs back at him, keeping her eyes on her newspaper.

Astarion gasps dramatically, clutching invisible pearls at his chest. “Jaheira, I’m hurt! How can you call me lonely when I have such lovely company right here?” He leans over her shoulder and her musky fragrance mixes with the spice of brandy, the intoxicating combination going directly to his head.

Jaheira drops her paper slightly, looking up at Astarion over her reading glasses. “I am not fooled by your theatrics, Astarion, I saw your little pout when you learned that Tav went to Avernus with Karlach.” She folds up her paper and smirks. “It isn’t easy seeing your ex and their new beau together.”

Astarion bristles slightly before slipping the mask back on. “Nonsense, Tav and I both agreed it was for the best to remain friends back at Last Light, I couldn’t be happier for them and Karlach.”

“Uh-huh,” Jaheira deadpans, thoroughly unconvinced. “And after they helped free you from your old master’s control, your feelings about intimacy did not change?”

Astarion sweeps over to the chair across from Jaheira, dropping himself into it and crossing his legs. He studies her for a moment, simultaneously discomforted and intrigued by her surprisingly accurate read on him. She smirks, the skin around her striking hazel eyes crinkling, and Astarion shifts under her penetrating gaze.

“Why do you ask, are you interested?” His tongue darts out to wet his lips, although whether from nervousness or simply old habits, he’s unsure. 

“A cute young thing like you?” Jaheira barks out a laugh. “I’m not sure if I could keep up.”

Astarion giggles, a little surprised by the giddy twinge that shoots through his core. “Jaheira, I’m older than you, by a good century.”

“And yet your skin is so smooth and supple. You must tell me your skincare secrets.” She narrows her eyes mischievously, crossing her legs and taking a sip of her brandy.

“A steady diet of the blood of the innocents will do wonders for your complexion,” Astarion grins, flashing just a hint of fang. Jaheira’s smile widens.

“Lucky for me, then, it sounds like I’m safe,” she retorts, and if she didn’t know any better, she’d almost think that the tips of his ears tinge pink.

The two quickly lose track of time, their comfortable banter and friendly jabs making it pass quickly. It’s only when Alan announces last call that they fully take stock of just how empty the Elfsong has become.

“Ah, the life of an insomniac isn’t an easy one,” Jaheira sighs. “Would you care to join me on my nightly walk to find the sandman?” She stands and stretches, and Astarion can’t keep his wandering eye from traveling down her figure.

“I can think of a few ways to tire you out,” he offers, making little attempt to hide the seduction in his voice. It’s a bit of a clumsier proposal than he’s capable of, but honestly at this point, he knows they can both use a release.

“I’m sure you could, cub,” she chuckles as she crosses over to him and pats his cheek, enjoying watching him try to hide the flustered look that creeps onto his face.

The night air is refreshing, and the city streets feel almost eerily quiet. They stroll aimlessly past darkened windows, neither really paying attention to where they’re going, until they find themselves wandering into the graveyard. Astarion surprises himself when he realizes that he’s subconsciously led Jaheira to a distantly familiar ivy-covered headstone. He pauses in front of it, his eyes tracing the faint outline of his name.

“Two hundred years,” he says quietly, and Jaheira peers over his shoulder. He looks back at her and chuckles, “That’s longer than you’ve been alive, gran.”

“Don’t remind me,” Jaheira groans. She looks on contemplatively, then adds, “You know, I don’t think I fully expressed how proud I am of you for stopping Cazador’s ritual.”

Astarion makes a noise somewhere between a scoff and a giggle. “You’re just trying to make me blush, aren’t you?”

“Maybe as a nice little side effect, perhaps,” she says coyly, sliding her eyes over to him. “But truly. With how much you have suffered, it takes a lot of strength to turn down all that power. And now, with a tadpole free brain, you can’t even go into the sun anymore.” She taps on his forehead to emphasize the point, and he swats her hand away playfully. Then her eyes unfocus slightly, and Astarion realizes she’s gone somewhere else entirely. “In my youth, I don’t know if I would’ve been strong enough.”

He studies her profile, brow furrowed as she loses herself in her memory. “I wouldn’t have expected the Great Jaheira to be tempted by something so base as a little power,” he says, punctuating his statement with that high pitched giggle of his. 

She returns to reality and flashes a grin at him. “You’d be surprised what I was tempted by when I was younger.”

Astarion’s eyebrows disappear into his well-coiffed hair. “Oh really? Do tell.”

“Another Rite of questionable morals,” she says with a humorless laugh. “Although admittedly, fewer sacrificed souls in the process. The Rite of Timeless Body, an old druidic ritual practiced by some of the more esoteric circles, allows the practitioner to extend their life span well beyond its natural reach.” 

Astarion crosses his arms and nods approvingly, taking a step back to get a renewed look at Jaheira. “Walking away from immortality takes some steel, I’m impressed.”

She shrugs noncommittally. “It feels a little less impressive when I’m standing in a graveyard in the last few decades of my life with a handsome young vampire who is a hundred years older than me.”

“If you want me to make you feel young again, you only need to ask,” Astarion grins salaciously, and Jaheira barks out a laugh.

“I might be younger than you, but I’m far too old to fall for your lines, cub,” she says, patting his cheek again. He grabs her hand, suddenly but not forcefully, and presses his lips to the inside of her wrist.

“Then maybe you can teach this old dog some new tricks,” he breathes against her skin, looking at her through heavy lidded eyes. She bites down on her tongue to keep her breath steady.

“So hungry now that he’s free,” she smirks, letting her hand cup his cheek. The stark contrast in temperature makes both of them shiver.

“Don’t tell me it’s not what you want,” he coos. “It’s been too long since Khalid, hasn’t it?”

“Oh, so this is for my benefit?” She lets herself step a bit closer to him, his bergamot perfume clouding her senses. “How very selfless of you, Astarion.”

He pulls on her wrist to close the distance between their bodies, putting her hand in his hair but keeping their faces a few inches apart. Waiting for her to make the final move. Surprisingly considerate, she notes to herself. She feels him pressed against her, his sinewy muscles pleasant against her soft flesh. His breath on her lip is cool, almost refreshing, with just a hint of lingering wine.

She leans in to kiss him, rough and unsteady, and his hands quickly move to her hips and squeeze her tight. He pushes her back until she’s up against a tree, pressing his knee up between her legs as he kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

“Don’t think you can get a free meal out of this,” she warns, but the sharp edge of her statement was dulled by her breathlessness. Astarion laughs against her skin.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, darling,” he hums between kisses, his fingers nimbly undoing the buttons down the front of her tunic. She arches her back into him as he slides his hand around her waist, his palm cool against her flushed skin.

“Ah-ah,” she slows him, pushing his hand away from her waist. He pulls away, wondering if she’s suddenly changed her mind, but she appears to be listening intently. “Not here, it’s too–”

“Close to civilization?” he smirks, raising an eyebrow.

“I was going to say sacred, but I suppose that’s true too,” she laughs. He grabs her hand and pulls her to the city wall on the outskirts of the graveyard. After a moment of struggle, he clambors to the top of it, looking down at her with an extended hand.

“Need help?” he asks and she rolls her eyes, smoothly shifting into her panther form and leaping over the wall with ease. She shifts back and looks up at him smugly as Astarion pinches his lips together, breath slightly uneven, his cock already pushing into the fabric of his pants. He drops down on the other side and she pulls him in by the collar for another messy kiss. 

“I’m starting to think you’re the one who can’t keep up with me,” she murmurs into his lips, giving his hair a quick tug. She delights in watching him struggle to keep his composure, hiding his want with a disaffected smile.

It doesn’t take long for them to find a grassy outcropping on the side of the mountain below the city. Jaheira shrugs off her tunic as Astarion makes quick work of removing his blousey linen top. Once they’re both shirtless, they crash back together, skin against skin, their mouths working hungrily against one another. Astarion pushes her up against a steep rocky slope of the mountain, palming her soft freckled breast in his hand. She inhales sharply as he flicks his thumb over her nipple, feeling it harden in the cool night air. 

She grabs him by the hair and pushes him down so that his lips line up with the sensitive pink flesh. He smiles as he swirls his tongue around the pert bud, and she sighs as her head falls back against the rock behind her. She holds onto his shoulders, unabashedly digging her nails into his skin. He ever so slightly teases her nipple with his front teeth, and he’s delighted when her hips buck into him.

“More interested in a bite than you first thought, eh Jaheira?” he hums, and she glares down at him.

“On your knees, vampire, and we’ll see,” she growls, and the tone of her voice makes Astarion’s cock twitch. He happily complies, and he can already smell her arousal through the cotton of her trousers. She might be able to feign apathy in her expression, but the heat of her cunt gives away how much she really wants him. He slides his fingers into her waistband and pulls her trousers down to her feet, which she quickly kicks off. He kneels forward to taste her but she stops him with the ball of her foot on his chest.

“You too,” she commands in a husky voice, her eyes flickering to the bulge in his leathers before locking back on his blood red eyes. His lips curl into a smile as he slides down his pants, maintaining eye contact with her. She breaks it when his cock springs free, only half hard and already impressive.

He digs his fingers into her hips and licks a stripe up her slit. She slides her fingers into his hair and drapes a leg over his shoulder, pinning him into position so she can maintain control. He laps up her arousal that’s pooling on her lips, threatening to drip. She quickly loses her hesitation to make noise, and her breathy moans as his tongue dives in and around her folds make his cock ache. He tries to subtly stroke himself as he continues to work her with his tongue, but she looks down and catches him.

“So needy, aren’t you, cub?” she purrs, and the noise he makes in response to the pet name is frankly a bit embarrassing. She laughs but it swiftly dissolves into a moan as he flicks his tongue across the hood of her clit. She tightens her hands in his hair and he increases the pace of his tongue, trying to keep up with the rutting of her hips against his face. The sounds of her pleasure as she gets closer to release, now unrestrained, only serve to spur him on further. He darts his tongue in and out of her, stopping only to lightly suckle on her clit.

“Ah– gods— Astarion!'' She shouts his name as she climaxes and he continues to lick her through her orgasm, feeling her pussy throb against his lips. He clutches her thigh as she slowly comes down, panting, and then eventually she releases the tight hold she had on his hair, ruffling it lightly.

“Well done, you know what you’re doing,” she says breathlessly, and he uses his palm to wipe his mouth clean.

“What can I say other than years of practice?” he smirks, standing and pressing his body to hers, his erection thick against her thigh. “I’ll give you a minute to recover, you old crone.”

“I’m ready for round two when you are, pretty boy,” she vaults back, pulling him in for another sloppy kiss. He slides his hand under her inner thigh and pulls her leg up, pinning her knee to the rocky cliff face. He positions the tip of his cock at her entrance, pausing just long enough to tease her into another growl. She squeezes a hand in his hair and he takes the hint to slide into her, their groans of pleasure mingling in the night air. 

He begins to pump in and out of her at a steady pace, her walls squeezing around his cock with every thrust. He drops his head into the crook of her neck, breathing hard and inhaling the sweet scent of her sweat. He peppers her flesh with desperate kisses, nipping at her skin without breaking it. She knows he won’t bite without permission, but he’s also not bothering to hide how much he wants to. She grabs his hair and pulls his ear to her lips.

“Just once,” she hisses, and he lets out a shuddering moan. “Somewhere I can cover, and no drinking.”

“Yes ma’am,” he groans, and bites down into the flesh where her neck meets her shoulder. She clenches around his cock at the sudden pain, but he quickly follows it with soothing licks to the bite mark. 

“Good boy,” she pants as he laps at her neck, and the praise causes him to push into her even harder, until a particularly jagged rock hits her spine. She puts her hand to his chest to get him to stop. “Astarion, wait.”

He pulls away from her, and she finds his dazed expression with his hair falling into his eyes to be surprisingly charming.

“Get on your back,” she hums, jerking her head towards the soft grass nearby. He lets out a visible sigh of relief before quickly positioning himself on his back, resting on his elbows to watch as she saunters over to him. She stands over him for a minute, appreciating the light flush across his normally very pale skin. He wets his lips as she gets to her knees, teasing him with her cunt in revenge for his earlier cheekiness. 

She sinks down onto him as he raises his hips needily to meet her. He grabs her thighs as she rides him, his fingers dimpling the soft flesh. She braces herself on his chest with a hand, her nails digging into his skin as she rocks her hips into him.

“Gods, Jaheira, you’re–” Astarion pants, the words getting caught in his throat. His head falls back into the soft grass and he arches his back into her. 

“Finally speechless, eh, Astarion?” she chuckles, and he shoots a glare back at her that quickly melts into a whimper. She pulls his face up to hers, treating him with another sloppy kiss before pushing his lips back to her tits. He eagerly takes her into his mouth, licking and sucking the sensitive skin. He ruts his hips into her as she grinds down on him, eagerly chasing her second release. He grazes his teeth against her breast and she shudders before yanking him back by his hair.

“Don’t be a brat,” she hisses through gritted teeth, and Astarion flashes her a self-satisfied grin.

“No need to keep up appearances. It’s clear that you want me to. No one will see it, and we both get what we want.” He lightly brushes her nipple with his tongue and she grunts as she tries to stifle her moan. “Come, Jaheira, let me make you purr,” he hums into her skin, nipping to punctuate his sentence.

“Fine,” she grumbles and lets go of his hair. “But one wrong move, vampire, and I’ll keep you pinned here until sunrise.” He grins and eagerly bites down, puncturing her skin but keeping his promise not to drink. He laps at the dark red drops that drip down the curve of her breast and she groans, arching her back and pushing her tits further into his mouth. He takes her encouragement and bites again, making a twin mark on the other side of her chest. She claws into his shoulders, bracing herself rather than telling him to stop.

The contrasting sensations of the ice cold shard of pain with the cool balm of his tongue afterwards is unlike anything Jaheira has ever felt, and she can feel the pressure building in her core. She moves her hand down to her clit and begins rubbing small circles in time with Astarion’s upward thrusts. He smirks and increases his pace, spurred on by her pleasure. 

“That’s it, cub, keep going,” she moans, and his balls begin to tighten at the praise. He grabs onto her hips, pulling her down onto him hard as he continues to fuck up into her, rapidly losing control of his speed. “Come for me, cub.”

It’s all he needs. A burst of pleasure rockets through his core as he spills into her, feeling her walls clench and throb around him as her own orgasm tears through her body. Her unabashed cries of pleasure only heightens the feeling, riding out the long waves of her climax with his rapidly softening dick.

When the ripples finally settle and the two of them are left breathing hard, Jaheira pulls off him and Astarion admires the sight of his thick seed dripping down her leg. She catches him looking and chuckles, “Just be grateful I’m too old to bring any dhampirs into this world.”

Astarion guffaws, still a little giddy from his orgasm and struggling to parse what the fuck just happened. “Trust me, no one needs that less than me,” he says with a breathless laugh. 

They clean themselves up in a comfortable silence, carefully picking up their swiftly discarded garments and redressing. They briefly make eye contact before bursting into sudden laughter.

Jaheira shakes dirt out of her hair and says, “Well this most certainly will not happen again.”

“Absolutely not,” Astarion agrees, but he can’t stop himself from smiling when he sees the light flush bloom across her freckled cheeks. They lock eyes on one another again before quickly looking away.

It’s a long walk back to the Elfsong.

@marvellover-12 @marlowethebard @pursuitseternal @imjiminiebean @gylving @beepersteeper

[ultralightpoe]

Carried Me With You - Jake Seresin

Authors Note: I am back, but as we all know I will probably disappear in another 3 days. Enjoy.

Word Count: 3,000 (UH HUH, EVEN BABY EVENNNNNN)

Warnings: Sad, a little family angst for y'all.

Description: Hello! The wonderful @fangirlvibez tagged me in this challenge back on September 9th and I saw it when I logged in today so you know I had to do it lovies. Thank you so much @fangirlvibez for tagging me, I am so sorry for the late reply but I hope you like it. And feel free to tag me for any more little challenges or prompts you had because I absolutely loved this one. <3

(Psst..... The song of this imagine is - Carried Me With You)

Enjoy! (pssst, song choice is -Carried Me With You- Listen and read for a top tier experience lovies.)

The Build A Bear employee looks extremely suspicious when Jake brings the empty coat of a bear up to her, a fake smile plastered from ear to ear as he holds it out as if he just ran into the woods to hunt it himself. 

Honestly he was sure he looked like a massive freak, from the 20 minutes he spent looking at all the display bears to choose and up to now where he probably looked like he had been one of Jokers goons in Batman. But he couldn’t help it, he was doing his very best not to breakdown and cry in front of this poor teen. 

She blinks up at him, back to the bear, and then back to him. 

“This is the bear you’ve chosen?” That one question has him debating everything, eyes widening as he pulls it back to himself quickly. 

“No. Yes. I have no clue.” 

“Okay, cool.” The worker, a young girl decked out in the most goth punk outfit he had ever seen, smiles and moves to grab it from him. Her long black acrylic nails snag the poor pelt from his hands and she pulls it to the stuffing machine. “We have multiple hearts that you can choose from for your little buddy here. We have classic, plaid and then a beating heart. Go ahead and take a look.” 

Jake nods, moving to grab one slowly before turning back to her. “You guys have sounds, right?” 

“We do indeed.” She smiles, nodding her head to show him the sound station. “Go ahead and pick or make a sound.”

She turns back to fix one of the spikes on her boots as he does so, rushing over to start recording the sound. The little script he wrote that morning on a sticky note was hard to read but he managed it, making sure to use that southern drawl he knew his baby girl loved before coming back to the stuffing station and handing it to her. 

“Alright, do we want our little buddy to be firm or plush?”

“I think…. How about firm?”

“Sounds great, and let’s go ahead and bless the heart while I’m doing this. First I’m going to have you rub your head so our buddy is smart. Perfect, now lets rub our belly so our buddy always has a good appetite. Awesome. Don’t forget to rub your knees so your furry friend always kneeds you. Jump up and down to get the heart beating and rub it against your heart so they always know how much you love them. And lastly close your eyes, make a wish and give it a kiss.”

Jake follows her word for word, going with the ceremony even though he knows it’s for kids. And when he closes his eyes he wishes ‘Keep my babies safe and happy’ before kissing the heart and handing it to her. She ties the bear up and hands him off, the teddy looking straight into Jake’s eyes as he walks off to find it a cute little outfit. 

By the time he makes it to the register Jake has the bear in a little naval outfit, hat and all, and the worker is grabbing the birth certificate from the printer with narrowed eyes. 

As she rings out the clothes he watches her closely, heart beating against his rib cage each step of the way. She was very goth, from the badass makeup to the spiky hair and spiky collar, not to mention the huge boots. It was like wednesday adams went punk and then got a job as Build A Bear as a joke. 

Then she turned to expose the backpack holding the pink stuffed animal decked out in rainbow and he couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s her name?”

“Cannibal, but when the kids ask Cami.” 

“Cami the Cannibal, I love it.” 

She finishes ringing everything up, raising an eyebrow. “Bugs?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s for my darlin’. You see I call her mom ‘Bubs’ and I call her ‘Bugs’.” Jake explains, whipping out his card as she begins dressing the bear. 

“This is for your daughter? How old is she turning?”

“Oh, it’s not for her birthday. I’m being deployed so this is my….. Something she has of me while I am gone.”

Her face goes slack and she blinks at him before shaking her head. “How old is your daughter?”

“Four.” 

“Then I’m saying this is a birthday bear. You only have to pay how old you’re turning for the bear.”

He thanks her, and before he knows it he is buckling Bugs into the backseat and driving home to see his two girls. 

- 

Bugs sits at the top of your closet for the next 5 weeks, you both break the news to your daughter four weeks out. She begs him not to leave and you let her sleep in your bed to try and soothe her tears. 

She sleeps in your bed every night after that. 

2 weeks out Jake’s mother throws a going away party for him, your daughter cries the entire time. 

Then the time came. 

Jake woke earlier than you, desperate to let you both get a little more sleep as he shuffled into the shared closet and reached up to find the box that held bugs. Dusting the bear off and making sure he looked good before moving to set it in the living room by his deployment bags. 

He kisses both your foreheads before jumping in the shower and getting dressed into his uniform. His throat is tight and his eyes burn but he does his best to keep it together, by the time he is dressed and ready to go he finds both of you sitting in the living room crying softly. 

You are doing your best to stop the tears, and Jake feels something shatter in his chest at the sight before the blur of the four year old is dashing to him. 

“Please don’t go.�� She sobs, hands gathering the fabric of his uniform as he swipes the tears from her cheeks. 

“Easy now, Bugs. I’ll be back. It’ll be okay.”

“Please don’t go daddy! Tell them you can’t go!” From the corner of his eyes he sees you shuffling closer with the box, and he nods, reaching a hand out for the bear. 

“Daddy needs you to do something for me, okay bugs?” The tears are falling freely now as she shoves her forehead into his chest. He has to pull her back a bit so she sees the bear. “This? This is my friend Bugs, and Bugs is very very important to me. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because Bugs promised to take care of you for me. And he is gonna do a great job of it. But I need you to keep Bugs with you so he can do that. Yeah?” 

She shakes her head at first, sobbing loudly as he kisses at her forehead, before her hands reach out to pull the bear to her. 

12 minutes later you are holding her in your arms, crying as Jake gives you both one more kiss and heads out to the truck, waving as he pulls the car out even if he feels his heart shattering in his own chest. 

- 

You keep y/d home for the day, making her mac and cheese for lunch ans trying to play all her favorite movies in an attempt to cheer her up a bit. Nothing seems to work and she sobs all day, not that you were much better. 

By the time you are ready to tuck her in your eyes hurt from the amount of crying you had done and you felt drained and dehydrated. But nonetheless you hold your daughters hand as she shuffles into her room where Bugs now sat on the bed. 

You dress her in one of Jakes soft shirts for pajamas, tucking her into the blanket softly and rubbing her cheek. 

“Daddy always is here to say goodnight too.” She cries and you nod slowly, reaching for the bear. 

“You really think he would forget?” You smile softly, pinching the bear's paw. 

Jake’s southern voice rings out, a little frazzled out but there nonetheless. 

“The sun is setting in the sky.

 Let's light the moon and bring it high.

The shimmering stars sparkle and twinkle.

 I work out my wiggles as stardust I sprinkle.

The tree stands tall as the owl hoots.

 I send all my worries right down through my roots.

A moonlit lake, as I sit on the shore.

 Reflects three things that I am grateful for. 

With my hands on my heart, love is swirling around me.

 So I send it out to my friends and family. 

As I lie down I breathe one, two, three.

And feel the love come back to me.

Goodnight Bugs.”

She curls around the bear, sobbing loudly as you kiss her head. Truly not knowing how to fix this. 

- 

Three months later, you are holding her hand as she leads you through the mall, Bugs wrapped tightly in her other arm. 

She had played the sound so much that it sort of stopped working and instead of the entire poem all the bear truly said now was ‘Goodnight Bugs’. But that would have to do for now. 

You had done so many emergency surgeries on the bear since she refused to leave him behind. The poor thing had barely survived the kindergarten recess debacle before her teacher had to cut in and take the bear from her and the kid who had been wrestling to steal it. 

She had come home that day a blubbering mess until you sewed the arm back on and she kissed it better.

She had taken Bugs to the daddy donut day her school ran, and though she still her her grandpa there that day you were eternally grateful she had that bear. 

But Jake’s birthday was coming up, and you knew it would be rough on her no matter how many facetime calls he managed to sneak in. So you had asked what she wanted to do for his birthday. 

Which leads you here, staring at all the bear options in front of you as she tries to figure out which one she wants.. 

There was a goth girl waiting at the stuffing station, and you couldn’t figure out if she was glaring or trying to recognize you. 

“How about this one, bugs?” You ask, showing her the stitch before she shakes her head and snatches a brown bear. 

“It’s got to look cool mom.” Another milestone that you were positive Jake was devastated about. While he was away it had gone from daddy and mommy to dad and mom. It wasn’t much of a difference but it still made your chest ache every time she called you it. 

Before you know it she has snatched a bear and dashed to the sound station, not bothering to see if you would follow. 

By the time you make it to the stuffing station you are doing your best not to cry, handing the girl the sound and the bear as she smiles. 

“I see we have a bear, is this going to be his buddy?”

“YES!” Your daughter smiles, bouncing on her feet as you move to grab Bugs. 

“How about I hold this so you can create him. Yeah?”

She reluctantly lets go, moving to pick a heart as the girl asks about the pressure. 

“I want him so soft that you can squeeze all the love!” Y/d giggles and you can’t help but smile at that. The worker smiles to, her black lipstick making it all more of a victory. “I like your bear, what’s her name?”

“Cami.” The worker smiles and y/d shakes her head. “No?”

“No, how about….destroyer?”

“Oh, I like the way you think. Okay now touch the heart to your toes so your furry friend is ‘toe’tally awesome. Great job. Touch the heart to your knees so he always ‘knee’ds you. Good good. Now rub the heart between your hands so he always stays warm, don’t forget to rub your ears so he always hears you. And Now your eyes so he always sees you. Now rub your heart so he always has love and jump up and down three times to get that heart beating.” 

Y/d does everything with a huge smile lathered on her face, and the worker has the same excited smile on her own. 

“Now I need you to close you eyes and make a wish before you kiss the heart.”

She does as told, squeezing her eyes shut before saying ‘Make sure my dad is happy.”

And then the workers face falls into one of recognition, her eyes casting to the bear now held in your hand and back to the one she had been stuffing. 

By the time you have an outfit picked out she already has the certificate in her hands, nodding. 

“Bubs. I like it.” 

“Thank you. It’s what my dad and mom call each other.” Your daughter smiles, standing on her tiptoes to look up to the worker. 

“Let me guess, your bugs.”

“I AM!”  And just like that a wide smile is splitting across her cheeks as she slides the bear across the counter to your side. 

“It’s your lucky day. This bear is a part of the lonely hearts foundation. Which means so long as he is adopted into a happy and loving home he comes with no charge. Are you happy, bugs?”

“Yes.”

“Are you healthy, bugs?”

“I eat my broccoli, yeah.” You try not to snort, remembering that you had to bribe her with 6 oreos after a 2 hour dinner table stand off. 

“Then Bubs has found the perfect home.”  You mouth a thank you to the girl as you leave, giving your daughter bugs back so you can carry the box.

- 

Jake Seresin was absolutely miserable the day he got his birthday package. 

He was sweaty from the jets, irritated by his team. But most importantly he was completely lost without his girls. 

It had been four months since he last got to hold them and he was beginning to lose it. Sure, he got to facetime them which was a lot more then some of the other guys but he missed them terribly and he wanted nothing more than to be with them. 

He had gotten an extra thirty minutes of call time on his birthday a week ago, to which you had promised him you sent something out before y/d interrupted with a sassy tone “don’t ruin the surprise for dad, mom.”

He tried not to get upset at the dad part, but he couldn’t help it. He left while his bug called him daddy and stil had the chubbiest baby cheeks in town and now his little darlin’ was growing up and he couldn’t actually see it. 

But you had told him to expect the package and he did, finally a week later it was mail day and he sat on his bunk surrounded by his squad as they tore through letters. He sliced the tape of the box open, lifting the lid to reveal the cutest bear dressed in a texan jersey with glasses that reminded him of BOB. 

A laugh slips from his lips as he reaches to pull the bear to his chest, noting the cotton candy scent before his eyes snag on the letter. 

“Dear Bubs, 

This bear was sent out with a promise to keep. He promised both me and your daughter that he would keep you happy and healthy and bring you home to us. We made him knowing that only the bravest of bears could do this task and we made sure he was stocked up for the flight over. In the box he took your favorite candies. A stack of photos and a really cool beaded bracelet your daughter made at school. He was given a cotton candy scent to help block off the stuffy scent from the box but most importantly, he carries a top secret message that not even I was allowed to listen to. 

We hope Bubs takes care of you until you are allowed back into our arms, until then stay safe and don’t forget we love you.

Love, Your bubs.”:

There is a little monster drawn on the paper in crayon that makes his heart swell as he traces his fingers over the words and drawing before reaching to the bear. 

He lays with it as a pillow, pressing his cheek to the chest as he presses the hand to reveal the sound. 

His daughter's voice fills his ears, in the cheesiest southern accent he had ever heard. “I breathe one two three and feel the love come back to me. Good night daddy.” 

-

The next set of photos you receive in the mail are all photos of Jake and Bubs on journeys, and Y/D’s favorite was the one of the entire squad posing with bubs. Bob and the bear having switched glasses. 

You, of course, begin sending adventures back. One of Bugs and your daughter baking, another of the two on a swing set. 

Jake sends back a photo of Bubs ‘flying’ a plane. 

Over and over you both send the photos back and forth, everything is a little bit better when you carry a piece of each other with them. 

Your daughter asks you at dinner one night, between shoving her chicken in her face and avoiding the broccoli, if you had wanted a bug and bubs bear. 

All you can do is smile, booping her nose as you mumble. “You were my bear last time he was deployed.” 

“What did you send him?”

“A pee stick.” She doesn’t find it as funny as you did, but she makes sure to have bugs kiss your cheek goodnight before dashing to bed.

[fakehelper]

✦ Okay, I give in. Let's upload our gifs on the beta editor to prepare for a gif pack page. Resources are available at the bottom, so lets get started !!

So first things first, you can only upload 30 gifs at a time. Now for me, I will always upload as I gif, around every 20 gifs, then upload to the page (this also ensures I don't skip any or have doubles) and keep gifing. That used to mean that I don't have to wait for tumblr to load 300 gifs and die from impatience. For the rest of y'all that means you're going to have to batch upload. I know, I'm sorry.

Note: With the help of @nataliealynlind we discovered that the daily limit is 250 gifs! So if you have more than that, prepare to upload your gifs over the course of a couple days or use a second blog. (imo this is another great reason to upload as you gif! that way you don't have to get stuck at 250!)

So after you upload your gifs (in this case I only did 10)*, you're going to go to the gear at the top of your post and click it. Then scroll all the way to the bottom where it says Text Editor. This looks familiar, right?

*Note: If you don't save it as a draft first, your gifs will be in .gif format, not .gifv. This means you can skip removing this tag later on, but I'm not sure if gifs that are uploaded but never saved/drafted will later disappear at some point. To be safe, I would save it as a draft. I just forgot at this part tbh

Well the good news is, you only have to change this once! The bad news is, we don't do Markdown then HTML anymore bc Markdown doesn't strip any of the code anymore 🙃 So just change it to HTML

Now it should look like this! Fun!

Okay, now we're going to copy that text and take it on over to our new best friend, the HTML Cleaner! So you're going to want to paste it on the right side of the screen. Your gifs should appear on the left side. If both sides have text, that's how you know you pasted it on the left.

So in order to get ride of all this extra code, it's going to take a couple extra steps. First, you're going to check these boxes on the left hand side.

Now, on the right hand side, you're going to enter these under Find and Replace (copy/paste section below!!). I know you're like, uh what? Where the hell did you get those numbers? Well, I got them from our gif post code!

For easy copy pasting:

Find: <figure> Replace: (leave blank)

Find: </figure> Replace: (leave blank)

So after you add the specific widths for your gifs, you're also going to want to add the following:

Find: .gifv Replace: .gif

Find: alt="" Replace: (leave blank)

Find: /> < Replace: /><

NOTE: If your gifs are usually the same size, I would recommend saving these snippits above on your computer's sticky notes or a draft to copy/paste for future uploads! While I do appreciate the viewer traffic, I'm sure coming to this tutorial every time is gonna get old real fast.

After all that, click Clean HTML

And now, your code should look like this! If there's still a space between your image links, just click Clean HTML again and it should get rid of it!

Now your code is nice and clean to put into your gif pages! Not quite sure how to do that? Read the Setting Up Your Sidepage section in this older tutorial!!

Resources

HTML Cleaner

My Gif Pack Page Codes

Recommended Gif Pack Page Codes (tag)

Previous Tutorial (How to upload to a Standard Sidepage)

Barebones Code (for previous tutorial)

[dsireland86]

The Best Kind of Danger: Chapter 5

His body pressed hard against hers, where nothing could come between them made her feel the safest she'd ever felt. The horrible moments of rejection that shrouded her past mean nothing now that she was in the arms of the man who truly wanted her for her. The past no longer hurt. He wanted to protect her, keep her safe, and let nothing come between them. He didn't care that she was inexperienced. That only meant her body would learn to fit him so well and nothing made him want her more than knowing she was entirely his; finally. Separately, they were weaker; facing the world around them was harder. But together, they were a force to be reckoned with, and trying to tear them apart would prove to be impossible. 

TAG LIST: @bngurngheart, @blackveilomens, @myownthoughts12, @vinyardmauro, @iknownothingpeople, @lilylovesdew @sprokat @lma1986 @jilliemiw86

"Sounds like you and Cassie made up last night. Everything good between you two now?"

Noah nudged Folio in the shoulder while he poured himself a cup of coffee. Folio grinned sheepishly, stirring the hot liquid around. 

"Yeah, uh sorry about that. She wanted to be quiet, she tried to, but I wouldn't let her."

Noah stuck out his bottom lip, shaking his head.  

"No apology needed. It wasn't that loud. I barely heard it."

"What the fuck ever dude. Y'all were loud as shit last night," Matt laughed, taking out his first Celcius of the day from the fridge. 

'Hey, look, don't say anything about it around Cassie, please. Last night was kind of a big deal for her, and I'm not sure how she's gonna feel about it now that she's had some time to process it."

"What do mean -kind of a big deal-? It's not like you two haven't had sex before." 

Noah and Folio's eyes both widened as they looked over at Matt. Matt raised an eyebrow, cracking his can open.

"I don't mean together, shit, I mean separately, before you know," tirling a finger in the air at Folio, "you two."  

Nick's eyes shifted to the floor. "Well, I have," he paused.

There was an awkward silence for a minute.

"No fucking way Folio. Cassie's a virgin?" Noah's mouth fell wide open, completely shocked.

"Well, not anymore she isn't," Matt stated, taking a long sip from his can." Noah slapped him in the chest, causing him to choke and almost spit out his drink.

"Shhhh, come on guys, this is serious," Folio pleaded, while Matt continued to cough, trying to catch his breath. "I don't want Cassie feeling uncomfortable if she's not already. Just please, don't say anything to her, okay?" 

Noah nodded, immediately agreeing. "I honestly never would've thought she was a virgin. Dang. And she chose you, huh?" 

Folio shrugged his shoulders. "There's a lot more to it, but yeah. It was her choice." 

"I'm happy for you man," Noah smiled, patting Nick on the back. "So does this mean you two are a thing? Like together?" Folio nodded, his head bobbing up and down rather quickly as his face lit up with a bright smile Noah smiled again too.

"Speaking of," Matt pointed out, nodding behind Folio. He turned around just in time to see Cassie come bouncing down the stairs, slowing down the instant her eyes landed on him. 

She smiled the biggest smile, looking down at Folio looking up at her. Her heart was racing with excitement and all she wanted to do was run and jump in his arms, wrap herself entirely around him, and smother him in kisses. But she wasn't sure if he'd said anything yet to any of the guys and didn't want to overstep or embarrass Nick. 

Images of last night flooded Folio's mind when Cassie walked into the kitchen. He felt himself already growing hard and quickly adjusted himself behind the counter, thankful it was there to cover for him.

"Hey," she smiled at him. 

"Hey," he replied, taking a few steps toward her. Cassie smelled amazing, the scent of her body spray and body wash resinating off her clean body. It was a little discouraging to him that she'd already washed away his traces from off her skin, but now that things were as they were, he knew his chances of fucking her filthy again were highly likely.

Cassie's body screamed when Folio's lips found hers, making her clean red panties already wet. She held in the moan that was dying to escape the second his tongue brushed her bottom lip. 

"You taste like mint," he grinned, liking his lips when they parted. Cassie was looking at him, eyes wide with surprise. 

"What?" He gave her a simple smile.

"Nothing," shaking her head slightly. She tried to hide the way her lips were curling in the corners of her mouth.

"Hey, come here," Folio said, reaching out and taking her hands, pulling her closer to him. 

"They know," he whispered in her ear and then kissed her temple. 

"And I don't care if anyone has a problem with us. You're mine." 

Watching her reaction and loving what he saw, Folio lifted Cassie's face to his and kissed her lips. "I'm yours," kissing her cheek. "We're an us. That's that," kissing her forehead and then wrapping her up in his arms and holding her close. Cassie smiled against his chest as last night played on repeat deep inside her mind.

"Are you comfortable?" 

Cassie nodded, shifting slightly beneath him. 

"Do you want me to remove my shorts?" Folio lay on his side with their legs intertwined, debating in his head what he should do next. Cassie looked at him, puzzled causing Nick to release a soft, nervous chuckle.

"I mean, how? Do you want me to stand up and take them off or would you rather I just slip them off right here?"

A sheepish grin curved her mouth.  

"Maybe it's my turn to see you now?"

He kissed her nose and then her lips, agreeing.

Reluctantly sliding off of her, he stood up and with one swift move, removed his swim trunks entirely, kicking them to the side.

Cassie took in the scene before her eyes as they drifted over Nick's body. His skin was perfectly tanned and so smooth. He was muscular and toned in all the right places, not for fitness but for strength and his tattoos, some she didn't even know he had, were vibrant and stunning. She longed to touch them; to trace every line of each one and feel him beneath her fingertips. He was beautiful.

A slight smile crept across Folio's face. Cassie's fixed stare on him was magnetic, pulling him willing back to her. Slowly climbing back onto the bed, he spread her legs apart again, making room for himself. His eyes glanced over her entrance, and Cassie caught the subtle smile that came and went. 

The thought that he was going to be the first man to enter her, to feel her tight walls squeeze around him until he made them collapse made Folio a little light-headed. He was about to take the most important thing a girl could give to a guy and the fact that Cassie chose him was unreal. 

Looking into her soft hazel eyes and seeing them burn with desire made his cock twitch. Faintly, he grunted, pressing himself hard against her folds, exhaling in comfort once she relaxed and her legs went limp around him. 

"This feels unreal," he confessed. His lips were pressed tight against her neck, his favorite spot on her, nibbling on her pulse point. 

"It does, doesn't it," she agreed. 

Her breasts were flush against his chest, the quiet beating of her heart resonating in his body as he sniffed her neck and behind her ears, breathing in her perfect scent, before kissing her nose, her cheek, and then her lips again.

Their eyes met and a silent moment passed between them. There was no need for talk, no need for any noise. Just the silence that swallowed them, bringing them closer together. 

"I love the way you look at me," Folio confessed, eyes darting back and forth between hers. Cassie grinned, running her nails gently over the skin of his back and sides. "The way you look every time you see me," kissing the end of her nose again, "the way you look when I touch you," running his fingers over sex and up her slit. 

Cassie sucked in a quick breath, lifting a little and bringing her chest closer to Folio's mouth. He saw that as the perfect opportunity to take them into his mouth and so he did, running his tongue over her nipples and massaging their soft, tender flesh with one hand. A sweet moan slipped from her lips. 

"Goddamn that sound coming from that pretty little mouth of yours is going to drive me off the edge, baby," he confessed against her breast. He nipped her nipple, causing her to squeal.

"Take me with you then," Cassie replied. Folio looked up at her, that sudden sparkle in her eye making her look so cute, and huffed a slight laugh, before going back to working her breasts. Cassie sighed, sinking into the bed sheets.

"Tell me, how do I look at you, Nick?"

With her eyes closed, she ran her hands through Folio's hair repeatedly. Eventually, he brought his face back up to hers and their eyes found each other's, making Cassie's heart race again. How he could do that she'd never know, but every time Nick looked at her, it made her insides flutter like butterflies. Maybe that's what he meant.

Nick took a deep breath 

"You look at me like you love me; as if you care deeply about me. No other girl has ever done that."

Cassie's heart skipped a beat. She smiled warmly at him.

"Really?" she asked, cocking her head a little.

Folio nodded slowly, caressing the side of her thigh and around to her ass, pulling her pussy harder into his cock. He wanted to fuck her so bad. 

Cassie pulled Nick's face down to kiss him, sliding her tongue inside his mouth and letting out a quiet moan as she tasted him. He pushed his hardness against her tender core making her gasp as a delightful look drifted over her face.

"Maybe I do."

"Maybe?" He cocked an eyebrow.

Cassie nodded. "Do you think I'd be beneath you right now if I didn't?"

"Hmm good point," Folio chuckled, planting his lips firmly on her's again. He very slowly began to move against her sex, rocking back and forth and pushing in harder each time. Her fingers tightened on his back as their kiss quickly became heated.

"Ughh, Nick," Cassie breathlessly moaned, tilting her head back a little further, and closing her eyes. 

"You like me teasing you, baby," he asked, enjoying the view.

 "Mmmhmm," she nodded quickly.

 He kissed her shoulder. When she opened her eyes, Nick saw the slight apprehension in her eyes.

"What's wrong? Are you still okay with this? If you want me to stop, just tell me and I'll stop," he insisted, about to move off her and give her some space, but Cassie reached for him and pulled him back into her. 

"Don't leave me," she pleaded, suddenly feeling awkward.

"I just thinking," she hesitated, lowering her eyes and focusing on Nick's chest tattoo. 

The eagle was huge. Its wings stretched across one collarbone to the other and took up his entire chest cavity with the head and body resting at the bottom. The tail and feet that gripped the trout traveled further down, stopping only a few inches above his belly button, and expanded across to the bottom of each rib. Her fingers traced every line until Folio stopped them, bringing them to his lips.

"You just thought what?" 

"Are you stalling?"

His forehead creased. Folio wasn't following.

"I was thinking maybe you don't want to do this. Or is it me? Am I overthinking too much?"

He huffed a laugh, letting his head hang down. 

"Is that what's got your pretty little mind all riled up? You think I don't want to have sex with you anymore because maybe I got enough satisfaction watching you cum all over my fingers?"

Cassie swallowed hard, clenching her thighs together.

"Something like that, yeah; maybe."

"You're unbelievable, you know that? I wish I knew what makes you think about the things you do sometimes."

Cassie shrugged her shoulders.

"You're crazy Cassie," he stated, sitting back on his knees and running his hands down her chest, over her breasts, down her stomach, and stopping right where he was straddling her leg; just above her pelvic area. Cassie's breath hitched in between her giggles. Nick slowly touched her, and with his thumb, began to slowly make small circles on her clit. Cassie whimpered, sitting up on her elbows to watch him.

"I want to have sex with you, Cassie," Folio began, scooting a little further down, keeping his eyes on hers. "I want to make you feel so fucking good that you cry tears of ecstasy."

He lowered his face closer to her heated sex, continuing eye contact. "But, I want it to be at your pace; not mine. I want you to feel safe and I want you to know that I've got all the time you need; I'm not going anywhere." 

He gently licked her clit, flicking it with his tongue, and caused her body to fall back against the sheets and arch up. 

"Shit, Nick!" she cried, fisting his damp hair. He smiled against her skin kissing the tender flesh a little lower than where he started. Cassie moaned, tugging his hair. 

"You've never been," his eyes drifted between her legs then back to hers. 

She shook her head, giving him a firm "no". Folio's lips widened into his beautiful smile, easing Cassie's worries.

"Oh shit," he said, licking his lips. His mouth watered at just the thought of him being her first.

"You know what I want to do right?" He needed to be sure Cassie was aware of everything that was going on so that she didn't feel or think the wrong things later on. 

"Maybe," she whispered with a coy smile, biting the side of her thumb. "But why don't you tell me anyway," 

Folio ground his teeth together and squeezed her knees. She was playing a dangerous game with him. He was trying to be gentle with her, but at this point now, all he wanted to do was flip her over and take her at his hungry pace.

"I want to eat you." His voice was deep and low, making Cassie's stomach muscles tighten as soon as he pushed her legs apart with some force. "I want to make you cum in my mouth." When his eyes gazed over her glistening pussy that was already wet just for him, hearing a soft whimper fall from her lips. 

His hands planted themselves on her breasts again, fingertips squeezing each nipple and making them hard and perky; just the way he liked them. Then he brought his mouth to each one, taking his time to suck and lick them until he was sure they were numb. The sounds that fell from Cassie's mouth made the precum ease out of his throbbing hard cock, instructing him to reach down and pump it a few times.   

"Okay," Cassie said, biting her lip and nodding. "Okay, Nick. Do what," but her words faltered when she looked down at Nick and watched his mouth and tongue work her nipples effortlessly. If they could do that to her breasts then she could only imagine what they could do between her legs.

Folio didn't waste any time. He slid down to her sex, spreading her legs open a little more while gently running his finger down her folds. Glancing back up at her, he watched Cassie's head fall back against the pillow. He prodded her entrance with the tip of his finger, causing her to squirm and give him a slight little whine. Then lifting her leg and resting it on his shoulder, Folio pulled her down closer to his mouth, and dove in without hesitation. 

The second his tongue landed on her warm pussy and began to move, Cassie thought she would explode. She lost her composure, letting the cries and moans escape without thinking anything about it. Nick's mouth on her, his tongue deep inside her, made her entire world spin faster, and the heat pooling in her lower back told her she didn't have much longer before her second orgasm was about to rip through her.

He pushed further into her sucking and working his face against her sensitive clit and Cassie couldn't resist the urge to shamelessly grind against his face. Folio's moans and soft mumbles that gave away his own pleasure, vibrated against her opening as he dove his tongue in, licking and swallowing everything his mouth came in contact with. 

Her cries suddenly became desperate and she attempted many times to cover them with her hand, but Nick stopped her every time. 

"I want to hear you; I need to baby. Tell me how good I'm making you feel." 

Her breath hitched each time Nick's teeth nipped her clit and from the way her stomach and her pussy clenched, he knew she was close. 

"I know you're about to cum for me, Dove. Don't overthink it; just let it go."  

Cassie gripped the bed sheets, gathering them up in her fists. Nick's words were bringing her quicker to the edge, but she needed just one more thing to drag her over. As if he could read her mind, Folio inserted a finger into her, twisting as he slid in and out before curling it, making every muscle in her body tighten. 

"Oh my God Nick," she moaned so loud, throwing her hand over her mouth.

Her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave, swallowing up every thought, and drowning her in only the feeling of Nick's mouth and hands. Her body shuddered, releasing her arousal that Folio willingly took. He moaned, pleased with his work, as his finger continued to work her through her orgasm. 

"Holy shit," Cassie exclaimed, breathlessly, dragging her hands down her face. Her body was trembling, her legs were shaking, and as Folio wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before kissing her quivering lips, he lay in between her legs once more, pressed close against her.

Tasting herself on his kiss, she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him close and holding him. "How did that feel, Dove?" he asked, not needing to know the answer, but his ego just wanted to hear her say it. 

Cassie shook her head, her body still shaking. "There aren't words," she answered as he kissed her again. "I don't know if I want to know where you learned how to do that."

Nick smiled, planting kisses on the side of her face and neck. He positioned his over-stimulated cock against her entrance, hoping now he'd be able to find release. 

"It doesn't matter. You're the only girl who's going to feel it from now on. It only matters how it makes you feel." His silver chain hung low, brushing Cassie's chin. She grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. 

"Really? You don't want anyone else?"

"No," he shook his head. 

"But we haven't even had sex yet."

Cassie ran her hands through his hair, something she found herself loving to do, and pushed it back out of his face. He kissed her wrist and then her lips.

"I don't need to fuck you to know I don't want anyone else. No one else could make me feel the way you do. I already knew that; before we even started this." 

"Really?" she asked again.

"Really." He smiled.

They took a moment to relish one another, enjoying the brief sound of just their heartbeats.

"I want you inside me, Nick. Take me, use me, mold me, make me entirely yours." Cassie's words went straight to Folio's dick. 

"Holy fuck, yes ma'am," he chuckled.

Fully confident now, he reached over to the bedside table and opened the drawer, retrieving a small foil packet.

"You don't have to," Cassie said when she saw what Nick was holding.

He narrowed his eyes, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm allergic to latex," she admitted, blushing. "I've been on contraceptives for a while for other health reasons too."

He frowned. "Anything serious?"

Cassie shook her head. "Nope, just girl stuff."

"Fuck, I knew you were too perfect," he laughed, throwing the packet on the floor and resuming his place in between Cassie's legs. 

Cassie gazed up at him lovingly, reaching up and cradling his face in her hands. 

"I won't break, so don't hold back, please. I want to feel all of you, Nicky," she said confidently. Her pet name for him would eventually be his undoing. The way it sounded, falling from her lips, made his stomach flutter.

"Spit," Folio commanded, holding his hand out. Cassie obeyed and he used it to pump himself a few times. He lined himself up at her entrance and slowly he entered her, pushing carefully through her incredible tightness that hugged his throbbing cock the further in he went.

"Holy fuck, baby," Folio sighed, swallowed by her warmth and pleased with how well Cassie was taking him. 

"You're so fucking tight," he grunted, pulling back out a little in an attempt to use her wetness as the lube he needed to go deeper. Cassie expelled a loud satisfactory moan the instant she felt him slide inside. Her breath quickened as she worked through the slight discomfort of the pressure of being stretched and was grateful when Folio found her lips to distract her 

He groaned deep in her throat. Finding her legs, he grabbed them and hitched them to his sides, commanding her to wrap them around his waist. Cassie clutched his biceps tighter, tilting her head back more and trying to get impossibly closer to him. 

She felt fucking divine wrapped all around him as his thickness spread her open, the tender flesh sliding over his rigged, pulsing cock like it was the perfect glove. It gave him so much satisfaction; the kind he'd never felt before.

"You good," he asked, pausing after seeing Cassie wince a little. 

"Mmmhmm, I'm good, she nodded, eyes shut tightly."God, I'm so good," she breathed, gasping the further she felt him go. She couldn't hold back the moans that escaped, no matter how hard she tried. 

"Let me hear you baby, you sound beautiful." 

Folio's praise was driving Cassie mad in the best way possible. It touched her heart knowing he was trying to make this moment as easy and enjoyable as possible. It made her want him even more. 

Once he was fully in, Folio lay there for a moment giving Cassie a moment to adjust making sure she was alright before continuing.

Taking her legs and bringing them up higher she wrapped them around his waist again and slowly, while keeping direct eye contact with her, began to take her at his pleasure. Cassie whimpered, dissolving into the pleasure of Nick's rhythmic thrusts inside her. Her nails raked across his tight shoulder blades, the muscles beneath them that had been worked and shaped from all the years of drumming moving up and down with each push that was deeper than the last. Her hips moved with his as Folio filled her so full of him that she lost her breath every time he went hard into her. 

His lips found her neck and they latched on to her skin. His hands found hers bringing them above her head and locking them together.

Cassie breathed in deeply inhaling his scent that she'd come to know well, one that always brought a sense of comfort and warmth. It had become her security.

"You smell like home, Nicky," she spoke against his ear in between small gasps and moans. Cassie's breath on his skin gave him goosebumps. The way her body arched into him, molding itself around him like it was made for him, made his hard shaft throb even harder inside her wetness. He wanted to go hard and all he could think about was thrusting faster into her, grunting as he did so and feeling her push against him.   

Cassie's back arched up toward him again, pressing her bare breasts against his chest. He squeezed her hands tighter and sucked her skin longer than intended. 

"You are home," he said, releasing her skin and licking the remaining saliva off before moving to another spot, pleased with the bruise he left behind. Her breath hitched when he lifted himself, pulled out a little bit, and then slammed harder back into her. 

"I'm your home now, Dove," he declared in between thrusts, enunciating "dove" with such a hard one that Cassie cried out the prettiest moan he'd heard yet. She was quickly coming undone again. The whimpering of his name once he found that spot that made her walls flutter and tighten around his cock, brought out the most feral growl in Nick, forcing him to quicken his unrelenting tempo.

Muttering something against her lips and leaving only an inch or two between them, he slid his cock out so his tip is right at her entrance. Meeting her eyes, he gave her a devilish grin right before he slammed back into her. Cassie released a choke sob of pure pleasure.

He was close too, and he just couldn't get enough of Cassie. But he wanted this to last for as long as possible, so he slowed his pace, fucking her softly and massaging the now very tender flesh. His hands found her hair, releasing their grip on her hands, tangling themselves in her dark auburn locks. With a voice so low, he whispered, "Give me all of you, Cassie. Please? Be only mine. I don't want to see you with another man," he pleaded, slowing himself now to a slow, rhythmic tempo, pushing himself up to look her in the eyes. 

Cassie brought her hands to his chest, smiling at the feeling of his hammering heartbeat, running them up and over his shoulders.

"Why do you call me dove?"

"It means "peace". You're my peace, Cassie."

He lowered his face and ghosted the tip of her nose with his, something he really loved doing, and breathed deeply.

"You already have me, Nick. You've had me for a long time. Why do you think I always refused the phone numbers of all those other guys who tried to pick me up at shows? It's always been you; since the very first time I watched you set your drum kit up and you dropped that huge freaking Floor Tom on Kooters foot. I thought he was going to kill you."

Folio laughed. His head fell into Cassie as his body shook. 

"Nick?"

"Yeah," raising his head and looking at her. 

"I think I might be in love with you."

".......... Don't tease me; I'm not that tough," his face turning very serious.

She grinned. "I'm not teasing you, baby. I'm serious," caressing his cheekbone. 

Folio intertwined their fingers together.

"Is it time for us to stop lying to ourselves?

He began to move again, leaning back and repositioning Cassie's legs tightly around him. Her head fell back against the pillow with a soft smile gracing her lips and her expression turning angelic the moment he pushed up into her, hitting that perfect spot that pulled the right kind of sounds out of her. Folio continued to work her for a few moments, looking down and watching himself disappear into her body over and over, feeling more confident knowing now that what he'd feared would push her away was the very thing bringing them closer together.

"Yeah, I think it is," Cassie admitted between moans. "I'm in love with you Nick," she admitted again, squeezing tightly around him. Falling into her, Folio wrapped his arms around Cassie's body and while he was still inside her, pulled her until they were both sitting up and she was fully in his lap. Cassie threw her arms around his neck, holding onto him despite the sweat covering his chest and back, and together they moved, quickly overtaken by heavy breathing and voices of pleasure. "I love you, Cassie," Folio finally confessed against her lips, her hands tangled in his hair. 

"I'm so fucking in love with you," he chuckled, as their teeth clashed together. 

Her hot breath poured into his as their tongues fought for dominance, 

"And if anyone has a problem with us, they can come fight me," he said, flipping her over onto her back again. Cassie squealed, giggling. 

"You'd fight someone for me?"

"I'd fight the entire world if it meant I'd still end up with you."

Folio chuckled again, kissing her forehead. He traced a path of kisses from her cheek, her nose, her lips, her neck, then back up to her lips where he devoured her mouth and unleashed all the passion he felt for her right in that moment. Watching as Cassie absorbed him and everything he was doing to her ignited a fire in him; a fire he would gladly let burn forever. 

With Cassie on her back, Folio dove back into her, determined to drive them both off the edge, but this time together. 

Every thrust, every whisper, every kiss was her undoing. She kept him trapped inside her by locking her legs tightly around his waist and with every deep push he made in her, she moaned his name and cried out strings of words that made Folio's heart beat even faster.

"Nick," she panted, urging him on, moving her hips to his and watching him. 

"Louder baby," he growled through clenched teeth, quickening his pace. Cassie moaned followed by a slight cry. 

"Nick, harder," she pleaded. Folio loved it when she begged. 

Surrounded by nothing but the sound of their breathing and their bodies coming together Folio managed to bring Cassie to the full height of her climax. With one quick push, he felt her tight fluttering walls collapse around him as her third orgasm came crashing through her, igniting both their bodies in a sensual fire unlike anything either one of them had felt before. It took him over the edge with her. 

"Where do you want it, dove," he fervently pleaded.

"In me," she softly cried with a shattered breath. Folio all too willingly obliged.

His loud sudden grunt caused his body to shudder and in one more violent thrust, he emptied himself inside her, spilling his release all over her once-virgin walls that he now claimed as his. Shockwaves gripped his body, making him jerk and then finally collapse. 

They were quiet, panting with shaky breaths and letting their bodies come down slowly together. Folio jerked off inside her a few more times, milking himself before pulling out, earning him a sudden gasp and a whimper from the sleepy girl beneath him.

"I'll be right back," Folio whispered, kissing Cassie's shoulder. She nodded tiredly, turning onto her side and curling her body up into itself. What felt like forever was only a few moments until Folio returned with some towels and a warm cloth. 

"Here, let me see baby," he said, turning Cassie onto her back and wiping up his mess. He was gently and sweet, occasionally stealing a glance or two from her and seeing a faint smile grace her tired face. 

"There," tossing the towels on the floor. He opened his arms to her and she curled herself up against him. He held her close and kissed her hair, sighing over the feeling of her beautiful body pressed up against him. Cassie could feel his warmth and smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling cared for. Nick made no other effort to take things further, seeming to be quite content with how they were now and it made her feel safe.

Wrapping her arms around his that were tangled in her body, she drifted off to sleep with Folio right behind her. 

"You know packing up your life and moving away from everything that you know just for a guy isn't the best idea."

"Nick isn't just a guy. He's THE guy; he's my guy."

Cassie drug the roll of tape across the closed box and marked it with the word "bathroom" across the top.

"I support you. It's just dangerous, that's all." Cassie's friend lifted the packed box and walked out the bedroom door, hitting Folio in the shoulder on the way out, never apologizing. 

"I don't think she likes me very much," he pointed out, with a grin. Cassie stood up and grabbed Folio by the front of his red, sleeveless shirt and pulled him close to her. After removing his hat, small pieces of his hair fell into his face and Cassie could only stare up at him with such an adoring gaze. She was mesmerized by him. 

"You're staring again."

"Am I?"

"Yup."

"You're making it hard not to."

Nick smiled, kissing her softly.

"That's my line, Dove."

"Please, like you don't know how incredibly hot you are."

He snickered. "Whatever you say." 

Cassie stared at him, absorbing all of him that she could

"You're my everything, Nicky."

He kissed her nose as she laid her head on his chest. 

"And you're my world, Dove," kissing the top of her head and holding her tightly against him. 

They shared a kiss before grabbing a box each.

"You ready to do this?"

"More than ready. The movers will be here by seven in the morning and once they've loaded everything up, we're good to go."

"I'm so glad you're doing this." 

"Me too."

With one more shared kiss, they picked up the remaining two boxes and left the room, closing the door behind them.

She looked at him as a friend until she realized she loved him.

He looked at her a little too long until he realized she was more than just his friend. Meeting each other was fate, becoming friends was a choice, but falling in love was out of their control. It was simply meant to be.

[margindoodles2407]

Greetings from the Margins

Sup? My name is MarginDoodles2407, but y'all can call me Margin :]

The most important thing to know about me? I am Roman Catholic, Pro-Life, and Anti-Pornography. By the way, my definition of pro-life is not just "anti-abortion", although that is a big part of it. I believe that to be truly pro-life, you must make a commitment to extend the respect and dignity we deserve as human beings to EVERYONE, regardless of age, health, status, physical characteristics, gender, political ideology, et cetera. And my Catholic faith is central to who I am as a person, so while I try not to get political on this blog- because we all need fun places to hang out without the stress of the real world- I will not hesitate to post about my Catholicism and Pro-Lifery. If that’s not your jam? Understandable. But please, be respectful to my Religion and values, as I will be to yours.

This blog started out as a Zelda blog and uh, it quickly became a Star Wars blog. From this sentence alone, you can probably guess my two biggest fandoms. My natural habitat is openly weeping about warrior space monks with laser swords and a fictional army of genetically identical South Pacific Islander men. Speaking of which, I am The Fives Guy. Do you wanna talk about Fives? Do you have Questions (tm) about Fives? Has this man crossed your mind at all? Well actually I am in the process of writing an Essay about him, which I will link to this post when I finish.

In terms of Zelda, my favorite character is the boy himself, my guy Link, and my favorite game is Ocarina of Time, and even though I am mainly a Star Wars blog now, I am ALWAYS down to talk about Zelda because these games were part of my formative years, I am still a huge nerd about them, and they are very near and dear to my heart. I cannot stress how much I still love Zelda.

I am an Artist and an Author, and requests for both are always open. Just keep it Safe for Work :) In case you’re interested, my AO3 is Margin_Doodles.

Alright let's talk about a few more things. Namely, the Tagging System, and what on earth it means.

Zelda Tags (main tag: #the legend of zelda or #tloz)

#hero's spirit: The blog, @tloz-heros-spirit, that I run with my EXCELLENT best friend and partner-in-crime, @whyoneartheven. A concept for a potential Zelda game that would be, canonically, the final game in the series and break the Curse of Demise. If you like lore-accurate storytelling, over-the-top character designs, and seafoam-green ghost fire, give it a check-out! Fair warning, though, I haven't updated this one in a while, but if you'd like to talk about it I'd love to!

#margin's links: My interpretations of the various Links, Zeldas, and NPCs of the Zelda series. Includes meaningful meta, silly art, memes, and various questions and answers.

#my beloved hyrule warriors: I talk about my second-favorite Zelda game, Hyrule Warriors, which I am mentally unwell about

#zelink my beloved: I am a Zelink shipper. It has me in a chokehold

Star Wars Tags (main tag: #star wars)

#hfsw: My precious baby, the High Fantasy Star Wars AU. Basically I take Star Wars, and make it a High Fantasy AU. I don't know how much more on-the-nose the title could be. This one also has its own blog, @high-fantasy-sw, although I'm not always great about cross-posting. Includes overly-intricate worldbuilding, SO MANY FREAKING MEMES, very flowery prose writing, even more silly art, and lightsabers but they're actually just swords on fire.

#wdap au: Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard and Senator Riyo Chuchi of Pantora are madly in love. This saves the Galaxy. 50% whump and angst, 50% crack-treated-seriously absolute chaos nonsense. Another collab with @whyoneartheven, this started out as a personal canon-compliant slowburn tragedy but then took a 180 degree pivot and became our silly fix-it romance AU, featuring a begrudging-coworkers-to-reluctant-allies-to-mutual-respecters-to-genuine-friends-to-mutual-pining-to-lovers-to-totalitarian-government-topplers storyline, the What to Do About Palpatine Tea Club (from which the au derives its abbreviation), Padme "Been There Done That" Amidala planning a secret wedding, and Robot Hand Buddies Mace Windu and Anakin Skywalker, to name a few of the better jokes.

#newsies au: Blame the twisted mind of @luke-shywalker for this one; I was sick and decided to watch Newsies, and at her suggestion I liveblogged it. Then things got out of hand. Featuring Crutchie!Echo, Obi-Wan Kenobi In The Person Of Teddy Roosevelt, and "they have interplanetary travel but still read paper news?".

#baseball au: The Clone Wars, as a series of really high-stakes baseball games. I came up with this one on my birthday with one of my real-life friends. Featuring Political Baseball Intrigue.

#margin watches tcw: I watch The Clone Wars (2008), and provide commentary

#margin watches tbb: I watch The Bad Batch, and provide commentary

#rebels my beloved: the Star Wars Rebels tag

#master disaster himself: Anakin. The Anakin Tag.

#electric judgement: the Plo Koon tag

#look at my guys: the Clones tag. I need to get better at actually USING this tag, but it does exist.

#in this house we love and respect her grace duchess satine kryze of mandalore: the Satine tag

#maul is a drama queen: the Darth Maul tag

Personal Tags:

#margin doodles: my art

#margin writes: my writing

#margin rambles: my soliloquies

#you ask margin babbles: answers to asks

#memes by margin: my memes

#incorrect quotes: incorrect quotes, usually by me

#the vod'e: I talk about my siblings (i have a LOT of siblings)

#friend art: my friends' art! very cool, totally recommend

#catholicism: Catholicism :)

Fic Masterlist

Thanks for reading, thanks for checkin' out my blog, and May the Force Be With You!

[panicatthediaz]

Whoop, here we are on part 2. I was a little too impatient to wait until Tuesday, but updates are supposed to be weekly so I can write a little bit ahead. Keeping a regular schedule is tough, y'all. [Part 1] – [Part 3]

@madaboutmunson @lamburrito @benjaminrussell @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dijkstraspath @swiftiebuckleys @spectrum-spectre [Let me know if you want to be tagged!]

Pin a String to My Chest – 2

A chance meeting

He might have never been interested in anything physical, but he had eyes, and people watching was always entertaining. Sometimes, that led to watching specific people. Sometimes, those specific people took issues with his watching.

(Sometimes, some rare times, people didn't seem to mind it, much. Sometimes, it even seemed they agreed with what he had to say. It's how he ended up with the current iteration of Corroded Coffin, beyond their shared interests.)

And Eddie would notice things. He had noticed his mom stopped fighting against his father's verbal and emotional abuse, so he started doing it instead. He had noticed that some of the things he heard at school were pretty close to shit his father used to say, and Eddie simply refused to be anything like him.

It was a lot easier to be loud about shit when he realized that not everyone could be. His mom, Gareth, and that one kid he found in the school parking lot in his sophomore year. It brought the attention onto him, but he handled Richard Munson just fine, right?

He'd never expected anyone to come to his defense; loud and opinionated metalhead that decided being different actually made more sense? Yeah, right. He wasn't even considering the fact he lived in the trailer park with his uncle.

(No offense to Wayne, of course, the man knew what most of the town thought about them. He just repeatedly urged Eddie to stay safe.)

Eddie, though, was the protector of his little group; drawing attention to himself then running with it, often literally. He could take a punch or two. Had taken quite a few in this school year already.

He had taken a couple of punches just now, so Grant, newcomer to Hellfire that he was, could get home unhurt.

"Hey!" The next punch never came, and Eddie looked up to see Jackass of The Week being pulled away by none other than King Steve himself. "That's enough, get out of here."

Eddie frowned, but neither the Jackass nor Harrington were looking at him; Steve was simply staring the guy down. At least it wasn't anyone from Hargrove's little group, this whole mess would've gone oh so well…

A soft touch to his arm startled him out of his musings as Steve started moving and taking Jackass with him, and he crossed his arms over his chest on instinct.

"Oh, geez, I'm sorry!" The girl next to him exclaimed. The hallway was pretty much empty after Steve left, save for a few stragglers that were doing a terrible job of not watching them. She grimaced and added, "I didn't mean to startle you, or anything."

Eddie shook his head and glanced around. He prided himself in paying attention to the people around him, but he couldn't think of a reason why sophomore cheerleader Chrissy Cunningham would be talking to him.

"Here." She held out a tissue, offering a small smile. "You got, uh..." She grimaced once Eddie took the tissue, and gestured to his face. "You're bleeding."

And yeah, okay, he could feel the sting now that everything was calm once more. He turned to Chrissy with a faint smile, pressing the tissue to his lip and trying not to wince. It could've been worse, but the split lip was going to be annoying anyway.

"Thanks."

Her smile widened, and she was quick to say goodbye after that. Something about cheerleading practice, "not that I think you'd know much about it," but it was said without malice. It sounded somewhat like I know it's not something you're interested in and that's okay. Like I listen, actually.

Realizing, later, that Chrissy Cunningham did listen, and even seemed to consider some of the things he'd said?

It was refreshing.

Which made seeing the downward spiral that much worse.

[hoshinomulti]

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙍𝙐𝙇𝙀𝙎

— — — — ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ — — — —

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 1 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

Don't be afraid to chat with me in my inbox! They're always open to chat! And you can ask anything in the askbox! Anonymous or not. Memes or starters, it doesn't matter! I just wanna interact with all of you ^^

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 2 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

Please do *NOT* godmod my ocs or muses. Not only will it make me feel uncomfortable, i will kinda get upset at it. If you keep godmodding my ocs or muses, you will be blocked

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 3 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

If I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable, or if something isn't right to you, please let me know. I wanna make sure this is a safe place for everyone. And I also can be dumb sometimes lol

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 4 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

If I ever forget to reply to your post, tag me, message me, I don't care. School might take a toll on me and make me forget about our roleplay

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 5 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

Yes, I do Multi-ship. If you ever wanna ship with my OCs, let me know and we can work something out. I'll probably only do ships with minor muses and muns just for the sake of my own comfort (I said 'probably', meaning that I don't know yet. Just give me time to think this through)

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 6 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

Everyone is welcome here! Minors, adults, whatever! Just no personal or non-rp accounts. They will be blocked if they follow

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 7 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

There may be some dark themes here and there, so please softblock me or don't follow me if that makes you uncomfortable

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 8 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

Like I said before, school might take a toll on me, so don't rush me for replies.

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 9 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

As mentioned in pin, mun is a minor, so there will be no nsfw or disgusting or disturbing things. If I see any of that, you will be blocked

Geez, I kinda sound like a mom saying that now lmao

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 10 ✨

　ﾟ･｡･

I almost forgot! Please don't judge me for what I like. I may like some things people don't, but that doesn't mean you can straight up disrespect me for it.

And that's coming from the person who's been harassed for what she likes on the bird app. It happened multiple times and I do not wish to speak of it-

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 11 ✨️

　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

I didn't mention this either, but doubles are totally allowed! I just like seeing the same muse interact with each other, if that makes any sense

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。Rule 12 ✨️

　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

I've been seeing this rule around so I may as well mention this myself:

ALL ICONS I USE DO NOT BELONG TO ME. SAME GOES WITH ART.

If the person who made the icon or the art sees their work on my profile and wants me to delete it, I will be glad to do so. I respect all artists here

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。 Rule 13 ✨️

　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

I forgot about the god dang lengths... uh... you don't have to worry about matching lengths with me. I'm not really good at matching lengths myself, heh ^^"

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Passwords. Um... yeah, you don't have to send any passwords considering how uncomfortable y'all get with those. You can just like this post below to show that you've read the rules (or don't. I can't really make you do anything lol. Mostly because our interactions we have can show that you've read the rules and respect my boundaries)

☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭! 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘺] ࿐ྂ

—— —͙ – -

˚ ·

* ˚ ✦

[nonsenseramble]

Heads-Up, Seven-Up

Tagged by @squarebracket-trick! Thank you for the tag!!!

The last few lines I wrote were for my Gods of Creation WIP. I spent far too long smash typing this out at 1:00-2:00AM, but I still am pretty in love with how it came out. (Okay these aren't the last seven lines per se, more so the last seven little...uh...breaks? Paragraphs? Idk man)

“What do you mean by ‘sustenance’?” Time ask quizzically. “Well…we are able to exist idly. We can create others like us, just like how you created me. However, I’m…different.” Life pauses a moment, reflecting on themself. “I’m not sure I can create beings like you two can. Not yet, anyway. The beings I can create cannot just idly exist without a source to keep them going. That’s what this is for.” Life uses their thumb and middle finger to flick the wet substance toward Light. Little bubbles waft through the empty space. As they approach Light, the circumference of the bubbles slowly diminishes to nothing. Time and Light both look at Life perplexed. “I’m not sure I’m following, dear,” Light says with a slight chuckle. “This is all very confusing, but I am curious.” “It’s a life force. A sort of fuel to replenish lifespan. As long as they have this, they shall continue on living.” Light points at the star. “And this one. It’s not for the beings, but for their home. It’s warm and bright. It reminds me of how I felt when I first saw Light. I felt protected. I felt safe. I want them to feel that emotion as well.” Light tilts their head, their heart swelling with pride. Life had obviously inherited their compassion and Time’s wisdom. “So, what are they called?” Light asks. Life hesitates, but only for for a moment. “In honor of Time, The Sage Deity, their life-force shall be called ‘water’. In honor of Light, The Antecedent Deity, their star will be named the Sun. These two creations shall harbor living beings in, around and among them. And so it is.” “And so it is,” Time and Light echo in unison. And so it was.

Tagging: @elizababie, @dyrewrites, @mthollowell-writes, @stanrendipity, @stesierra + Open Tag! (I'm still learning everyones blog url's so y'all gotta work with me here >.<)

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

may i request learning about the takaaki AU

Ohhh, uh, yeah! I was gonna link some of my posts, but I literally lost the shit LMAO. Anyways, let's see. Basically, after the events of THH, Takaaki goes insane. He doesn't know how to cope with the loss of his son, so he just goes insane. He practically just loses his shit and then decides to join Monokuma and become a Mastermind. But not really because of despair or just because he wants to be an evil person. More of to get revenge. He plots to destroy everything Junko made and bring them all to justice and shit (but sometimes his insanity and lack of self control gets some people killed. Can't bake a cake without breaking a couple eggs, I guess lol.) He has some help from Makoto, Hiro and Monomi (who isn't dead in this AU.)

Monomi is a sort of source of comfort for him when he goes a little too far and needs help to keep himself sane enough to continue his plan. He grows to care a lot about Monomi and would do anything to keep her safe. She's like a daughter to him. And he decides to just keep her when he completes his plan and they live together happily in peace.

Anyways, after Takaaki is done, he just winds down and decides to live peacefully. (Maybe even decide to bring back his son and the other kids with a machine he has Kazuichi build. I like the idea, lol.) There's so much for this AU that I've forgot to mention or just need to add. But that's basically it rn.

@artz16 helped me out with some of the idea with adding to it. So I'd also like to credit them. There's also a few arts out there that they, me and @s0va-idalin have made. I really like this AU a lot and wish my mind could be a bit more creative and do more with it. I'm just having fun with it at this point. (Hope y'all don't mind me tagging y'all.)

Anyways, sorry for the LONG response. I like rambling and there's a lot to ramble about this AU.

[lawrencegarte]

9 people you’d like to get to know better (i'm not tagging 9 people that's so many freaking people)

tagged by @maverik6464 hehe

Three Ships:

like just in GENERAL okay the ones that come to mind first are

nezushi. she's the og. the eternal. the otp for the ages. what can't she do really. i love this ship it means everything to me.

dimidue she's recent but she also means the world to me. i was going through a lot when i consumed fe3h so i'm already trauma bonded to the whole mess of a game but this ship in particular makes me a very special type of feral. three hopes is the worst thing that ever happened to me as a dimidue shipper. he would not fucking say that about the entirety of dimitri and dedue's interactions. anyway.

uh fuck okay angelaki came to mind next i'm in a csm mood recently. they make me a lot less insane than the first two ships like i am just a casual enjoyer but they should definitely kiss on the mouth safely (ie through plastic wrap). i do love a couple w a restriction they have to get around bc they like each other so bad they're like we're not gonna let this stop us. that's good shit. sorry they died tho.

First Ever Ship: this is honestly like impossible to answer i've always been obsessed w love and romance. when people were in love with each other in tv shows and movies i was always like heeellllll yeah brother. i remember liking keiko and yusuke a lot when i first watched yyh. i don't think i actually started shipping actively until like fucking. hetalia tho GHSGKAJ so like idk 2009? 2010? maybe usuk really started it all. gerita. y'all remember hetalia?

Last Song: gorgeous by taylor swift cuz i keep trying to get into reputation but i just simply can't. sorry to my sister.

Currently Reading: i dunno how to read

Currently Watching: nothing right now!! i don't usually go in for shows, i'm more of a movie gal or at least short form tv. i watched chicken run last night tho :) fun fact i was like obsessed w rocky when that movie came out. there's a picture in an old photo album of me impersonating him.

Currently Consuming: what like. i'm drinking peppermint tea?? is that what u want to know

Currently Craving: being not sick anymore i wanna be freaking HEALTHY!!!

if u want to do this pretend i tagged u Big Tumblr doesn't have to know i didn't

[feralattentionwhore]

Get to know the blog:

So apparently my horny posts are something worth following for so I guess I'll do a bio and about me thing that definitely won't turn into a random ADHD ramble about shit

About me

I'm Feral, 19 and I never learnt how to read ✌️

^^ I'm leaving this up because I think it's hilarious but I'm 20 now

Living in the UK but not white

demisexual as fuck, preference for women but honestly I'm more interested in how we vibe than any gender. I tend to identify most with lesbian/sapphic labels because I feel most comfortable in this community.

fuck knows my gender either, I mostly present femme atm but I just identify as *all* I'd say I'm more nb/w or nb/nb & t4t but just in love with queer people in general. I am a girl but I'm also a boy, I'm not cis. You aren't straight if you're attracted to me

Owned, completely and utterly in love, technically poly. I'd rather start off as friends and see how it goes (benefits available if we vibe)

-Dni and more under than the cut-

DNI:

I'm saying this now, I love y'all but minors please get off my page *respectfully*. This includes blank blogs without your age/ age range

Cis men-Age regressors-People who fetishise trans people, s*ssies and cross dressers-Gender/sexuality correction-terfs/homophobes etc-

Oh and PSA this fucking includes people who gatekeep LGBT labels, including but not limited to hating on butch lesbians who transition, nb&he/him lesbians. Just honestly if you aren't accepting of the ✨ENTIRE✨ LGBT+ community and how people choose to identify please leave. No buts no ifs no maybes

How to give attention:

Asks are completely okay, if you want to talk through anon regularly pick an emote and I'll be sure to tag it so they're easy to find. Flirt with me or ask questions, just keep it within my limits please.

Requests are also totally okay along with reblogs of any of my posts. They're always appreciated!

Unless we've interacted before please don't randomly DM me. Mutuals are obviously always welcome to chat, for non moots I prefer asks as I get a lot of anxiety

I tend to check out profiles that reblog/follow so if you want to be moots then that's the way to go

I can't believe I have to say this, but if you're only messaging me to sext or roleplay or whatever you call it you can leave. It makes me uncomfortable, and will most likely make me feel weird about talking to you again in the future. I'm happy to flirt but unless we've talked about it nothing more.

Safe words and talks about boundaries and limits are non negotiable in kink. If you're not respectful of that you're not a dom, if you don't have complete understanding of how this works and expect to engage in anything sexual with someone without doing proper preparation you're practicing unsafe and frankly dangerous kink. Kink is something serious and you need to know what you're doing

I'm demisexual, with a partner and require actual communication before I engage in anything other than flirting. If you're literally only talking to me bc I'm hot or for sex n stuff you're going to be disappointed

I also have a shit tonne of anxiety, so I will disappear if something makes me feel unsafe. If I don't reply, don't make it worse by getting upset. I'm sorry but I really just don't have the energy to deal with things, especially when we don't really vibe.

About ✨whore✨me:

I'm a sub mostly, total bottom and complete mess irl. thought I was ace until this year and basically innocent af (I mean significantly less as of v recently but still fairly shy). Also kinda a hermit so I'm very touch starved.

Short long summary of my kinks.. To be continued..

- Praise and nicknames, specifically cute ones that start with "my"

- Exhibitionism Mostly being uh, fucked in front of people and stuff

- hands and fingersJust god, everything to do with them. In my mouth? Yes, Pulling my hair? Yesss, choking me?? Yesssssssss, hurting tf out of me?? Please

- being manhandled, strength, just be stronger than me and throw me around pls&ty

- being a simp for me and letting me get away with pretty much anything?? Yes

- being controlled and posessiveness Like a lot, like probably more than a healthy amount

- being teased, constantly

- marks.. Just fucking marks feeling owned and having proof of it with collars and stuff

- and also pain, pain and more pain all the hard kinks

- voices, dirty talk, the way they beg, and moan, and call me a good girl, the way their voice drops when they tease me. Everything about voices

- corruption.. 👀 😤

- being free use, letting friends fuuck me, being a whore for everyone. Them sharing my nudes with their friends, them letting their friends fuck me? Yes please

- affectionate domination / soft doms but rough sex

- most of this is just the long way of saying I have a massive kink for my pretty ass girlfriend though.. Just everything about them.. Mostly their hands, and their voice and uh.. Yeah just them

Limits:

-degradation, any way shape or form,I'll most definitely cry. Acting like you don't like me, hurt me because you love me not because you think I'm worthless

- pet play, Ddlg and that kind of vibe aren't for me

- I don't quite know how to explain it but the strict af, black suit and tie, academy / high protocol/training style/straight people bdsm. It's just way too nonpersonal for me and not fun. I prefer messing around and stuff plus my gf looks way better in a skirt

- discipline, punishments and other things that make me think you hate me (see: I'm a big ass baby and sensitive af)

- refering to my uhh *anatomy* just uh it gives me dysphoria like a lot so please don't

- body fluid shit, incest, feet, tickling, hypnosis

- other things that I'm not perticularly comfortable talking about here, you don't need to know unless we're talking

Tags I use:

Yes I'm insanely bad at tagging things, yes I'm trying, no it's not working. If I forget to, just get mad at me in asks or something. I'm sorry ADHD just kind of does that

#feral asks - all asks that I've answered

#feral music - music recommendations because I have a god complex about music

#feral in love - direct posts about my gf/wife/partner/Dom/love of my life

#feral tmi - random personal shit about myself and figuring out my body

#feral reblogs - stuff I reblog, I have a separate account where I keep most of my reblogs but sometimes I can't help it

#needy feral - me begging for attention on Tumblr

#feral exposed - photos of me

#tw feral - depressing shit, mute the tag if you don't want to see that shit

#dark feral - hard kink shit, mute if you'd rather not see it

#feral complaints - shit that bothers me

#feral blogs - thoughts, updates and questions for you all about the blog

[pyrten]

Post about Tumblr etiquette and basic stuff that I'm trying to make as entertaining and colourful as possible because I have the attention span of a stick and if I saw long paragraphs like this too, i would go " I will scroll ".

Part 2: here you go. it’s very short, i think. 

CW! Twitter discourse (indicated, Techno's boundaries being broken. sleepytwt disbanding??, it's short, don't worry).

Hi hi hello to you all coming from Twitter after whatever the fuck happened. Sit down have a drink, take a sip, have a cookie (...cept for chocolate chip, those are mine). It's pretty safe here as long as nobody drags in the cousin we all dislike.

Tags, hashtags, not shopping tags.

We use the tags as a filtering system, basically. Like stuff about:

Tubbo in general? #tubbo .

Stuff about character Tubbo? #c!tubbo / #c!Tubbo .

Stuff about content creator Tubbo? #cc!Tubbo / #cc!tubbo.

etc. etc.

We try to keep positive stuff in the main tags (in general tags), occasionally there will be stuff about Twitter or negativity about them but generally, as far as I've seen, they aren't heavy, or they are but they're pretty solid arguments that aren't like, loud, yelling, or gives off that vibe, I suppose.

#cw!__ / #tw!__ / #neg!__ / #__ crit+ more can be tagged if needed or requested (as in, if the tag isn't already there). Depends on who runs the blog. Whether you need to send in a ask, or just reply to the post, or DM. Up to the person to runs the blog.

-- if there's more I'll add, when I think of them later --

Reblog button my beloved

I'm not : hey I study the algorithm I know shit!

But IG and Twitter runs on likes / retweets. Tumblr runs on reblogs. yeah, yeah, that small button that's like, circular next to the heart.

Looks like recycling, something the government failed to incorporate well. Looks like the recycling symbol doesn't it? yeah it just lacks one arrow and it's not a triangle.

Liking posts? Great that's nice buddy, thank you (not /s)

Reblogging? Mmmmmmm THATS THE SHIT. SEEING THAT IN MY NOTIFS? serotonin. absolutely.

please, it's like the one thing that's keeping this platform afloat and information / works spreading. also it helps spreads the post. Liking doesn't do much, most it does is be a bookmark just so you can look for that post later.

"but I don't want my blog to be flooded with stuff I reblog!" No, no, dude (gender neutral), that's how you get people to follow and find your stuff. You really worried about people being annoyed, can't find what you actually post? Refer to part 1, tags as a filtering system. Make a reference post or whatever, pin it to your profile or make a Carrd, link that stuff. If people are really that lazy to go to the hashtag, doom scrolling works for them.

Filtering, yes great mechanic.

Filtering, now, this isn't for other people to find your stuff and save them time of scrolling. It's somewhat related to the tagging system of Tumblr but it's for yourself this time, very cool.

- Gear icon. Top right corner of your profile.

- Account settings.

- Filtering.

Two options : tag filter and content filter.

Tags filter is self-explanatory. You enter the tag you don't wanna see, and done. You'll never see that tag, or any posts that have that tag again.

Content filter filters posts with certain text content. Certain- as in the text you've entered, and decided you never wanna see em.

Congratulations, your eyes didn't lose HP today.

Bruh when was this posted.

Haven't used Tumblr on a laptop for a while, but I'm pretty sure it says, uh somewhere.

But on phone:

Three dots. Top right of the post.

There it is, like, rightttt there, above that rectangle pop up thing, there's the date. Have fun seeing how dead some blogs are.

My post is getting drowned :(

Uh, reblog your own post or pin it to your own profile. That works.

So does the post drowning and disappearing into oblivion. Tapping a button requires a lot of work and if ya don't want to, shruggie.

Ayo, if you're gonna justify something about someone or any situation, be specific and as clear as you possibly could, if you mess up a little with your argument, that's fine. Edit button is a pencil on the post, you can make another post or reblog the OG post to clarify.

Use tone indicators. There are neurodivergent people on this platform, like, every platform basically. Save us some worrying and head scratching.

Use the tone indicators, and don't use them as a joke (unless it's between like close moots, and your uh following gets it then yeah I suppose that's fine, but clarify in the tags would be great).

Typing out /insert_acronym_here isn't a time consuming thing. ( A simple Google search of Reddit tone indicators can give you a list if you need it ).

Last thing I can really think of is: the hashtags is where all the short hot takes, that good shit, is.

Not just in general, in posts too ;) .

also why are people on Twitter spreading the #kick____ with saying that you shouldn't do that. Your intentions are great m8, but uh, ಠ◡ಠ that's a... It's a method.

k welcome to tumblr. Each app has their like etiquette, this is Tumblr's or the most I can think of. no you can't have my chocolate chip cookies, have a good stay.

I'm going to bed like man, I'm sleepy. (Also since people is coming in because of like, the stuff related to SBI going on twitter, gonna mainly tag that. Hope that's chill)

Also, it's Ramadan. claps, Ramadan Mubarak, have a good one y'all. (whispers hey, hey send some love to fellow Muslims, hope you're doing well.)

Edit:

15/4/2021 , 6.42 PM --- Filtering (new section)

[gaycaffeinebee]

Worship the French Fry (Part three)

WRITER’S NOTE: Typically, I do not mind when people don’t tag me when they use my prompts. But for anything over 200 words and any of my series (especially if you copy word for word) please tag me! I’d love to see what OCs and characters y'all would put with these two (A and B).

This series can be read/written separately (individual chapters), but I picture the surroundings, characters, and references to be from the same story.

Warnings (for this chapter): lovey dovey stalker aesthetic, eating food fast, cuddle fluff, references to the Padalecki family

History/Pre-knowledge (for this chapter):

B really likes overly salted food

*B slowly stirs awake - they don’t know what time it is but they don't care - It's barely light out yet- they woke up big spooning A - B takes note of A’s breathing and decides it’s safe to say they're still asleep- B takes a breath and realizes they finally have A - B's not waiting months and months figuring out how to ask them out anymore - they're holding A and it's not just a hug in passing anymore- they’re actually holding A in their arms and they’re not gonna risk waking A up especially if it's early- they start counting back from a hundred and pulls A in tighter*

---

*A slowly wakes up getting a feel for their surroundings - they're on their back and B's 1/3 on top of A snoring their ass off – they’re on their stomach and B’s got their head on A’s shoulder and kind of like in their neck – B’s left arm is loosely wrapped around A’s waist and A’s left is like hooked around B’s back - A can't feel half their arm but at the sight of B being this comfortable, they don't care - A reaches for their phone on the nightstand and turn it on with their free hand - A opens camera and puts it in portrait mode and holds it so they can see B’s face - A takes a picture really quick and then puts their phone down - they can still move their arm enough to reach B’s head and play with their hair - A sits there just running their fingers through B’s hair and they only stir a little- eventually B takes a deep breath in through their nose and backs their head up so A can now see their face – B’s eyes are still closed and they just let the breath out - does this person really sleep this hard? - A decides to let it go for the meantime- A just gazes at their facial features for a long while until they casually drag their left hand up to their neck and just rub their jawline while their thumb lazily*

B- *eyes still closed from A’s perspective- their voice still extremely groggy from sleeping (and snoring of course)* "Are you just going to keep staring at me till I open my eyes?"

A- "I'd keep staring with your eyes open too - how the fuck are you so pretty all the time? - you gotta be related to a Padalecki ‘cause you're definitely a genetic freak of nature,"

B- "I'm not even awake yet and you've already managed to compliment and insult me in one line - What's a Padalecki?"

A- *A giggles* "That entire thing was a compliment- The Padaleckis are a famous family in America- they're all extremely attractive and I think you must be related to them because you are too pretty,"

B- "So all attractive people must be family- guess I gotta marry you 'cause you're hot as fuck," *they yawn*

A-*A sits there - face turning red - processing wtf just happened* "And you're still half asleep,"

B- *they yawn again* "Sleepiness is the drug of the heart,"

A- *they smile at B’s cuteness* "I don't think anyone says that-"

B- "They do now 'cause I did and I am always right because I-“ *they stretch out with their eyes still closed* “-am pretty,"

A- "Oh so that's how it works? I had no idea you made the rules here," *A said sarcastically as they find B’s left hand and kiss it*

B- "You think you make the rules? Oh but of course not! You said I was pretty therefore I get to make rules,"

A- "Yes and does the great rule maker want breakfast?" *A boops B’s nose with theirs and then kisses it*

B- *A then kisses B’s forehead and they tuck their head back into A’s neck* "Maybe later - can we stay here for a little while though?"

A- "You comfy?" *A kisses their hand again and then holds it to their chest*

B- "Yea - I finally have you and I don't wanna let go,"

*A can't complain cuz B is the pretty rule maker*

---

A- "Okay baby we gotta get up - your stomach is yelling at me"

*A hears a muffled 'ugh shut up stomach' as B rolls themself completely on top of A - A runs their hands through their hair a bit*

A- "We gotta get up sweetie come on - I'll make breakfast and you can still hold onto me"

B- *muffled* "Promise?"

A- "Yes, I promise,"

*B very obviously reluctantly gets up and off of A - B then stands by the bed still half-conscious with their eyes still adjusting to the light and waits for A to get up - A just smiles at B and gives them their hand - they take it and A walks to the kitchen with B waddling in silence behind A*

B- “Do I have to eat?”

A- "Yes, yes you do," *A opens their arms and then picks B up and holds them koala style*

*A works through the kitchen only setting B on the counter a few times - then picking them up again and going back to work*

*About 10 minutes later A has two paper plates full of eggs and fruit*

A- "Hey I'm gonna let go of you to carry the plates - hold on please" *B holds onto A tightly as they walk over to the couch food in hand and sit down with B now on top of A- B falls off A to their side but B still has a leg on A’s lap*

A- "Your eggs are heavily salted already anddd here is a fork,"

*B smiles and starts eating- they remember the little things*

*a few seconds later B absent-mindedly cracks their back and knuckles while they scarf down their eggs- B looks up to see A staring at them concerned*

B- "What'd I do?"

A- "I'm gonna make you honor your eggs and call them your majesty again if you don't slow down love - you're gonna get hiccups,"

B- "You can't make me do any-"

A- "Oh hush I know - now gimme your hand are you okay?"

*B gives them their hand in confusion* "Yes? I am fine? Why are you concerned?"

A- "It sounded like an automated rifle went off in your knuckles,"

B- "Yea I just do that - it's normal for me - watch-" *they crack their neck and everything else* "See it feels good- no harm,"

A- "I should take you to a chiropractor,"

B- "I am fineeee please believe me I'm okay,"

A- "Mhmmm." *A looks at B with an unpleased face*

B- “Uh hey watch the tone of your face - I might just make you worship the french fry again,”

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,937 Words

Summary: Katsuki, stop being a stubborn kid.

Warnings: Child Abuse Mention, Eating Disorder Mention, Food Mention, Forced Eating Disorder Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Usernames: Existence Is A Prison Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20, Yamada: President Megaphone, Bakugou: deku-deck-you

Notes: I’ve changed Shinsou’s birthday to April 20th because I can.

Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 6

5:28 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: I swear to god, if you say you're going out for a run, Katsuki.

deku deck-you: ...

deku deck-you: I'm totally not going out for a run.

feral cat dad: Kid, you don't need permission or even to tell us. You're allowed around school grounds, to leave, to the school, ya know. As long as you have your pass for the door, you're good, nothing's stopping you.

deku deck-you: I don't need to tell you where I am?

feral cat dad: No, what you do is your own business. Me and UA are just here to house and teach you. Your actions are your own, you don't have to tell us them.

deku deck-you: Oh.

feral cat dad: It's okay if you want to, but you never have to feel obligated to tell me or anyone else, either.

deku deck-you: It's just my mom made me tell her what I was doing every time I left the house.

feral cat dad: Well, I mean, I obviously know what you're doing every morning at 5:30. So, even if I'm worried, I know what you were doing. I'm also not your mom, I don't want to know where you are every second because you're a kid being a kid, you deserve some privacy. God knows you need privacy after not seeming to have it for fifteen years.

deku deck-you: Thank you, Mr. Aizawa.

feral cat dad: You can call me Dad if you want.

deku deck-you: Dad.

farmer toshi: Child-hoarding Dad.

feral cat dad: You're not wrong.

5:33 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: @deku deck-you, I'm coming, Kats. Wait up.

deku deck-you: Come on then, hurry up.

deku deck-you: You get those wires off today, right?

farmer toshi: Yup. Recovery Girl's fixing me today.

1:16 PM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: It's official. I can menace once again.

feral cat dad: If you're terrorizing villagers, please don't bring them back armed with pitchforks, I don't like fire.

5:25 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Kats, where are you, I don't see you.

farmer toshi: @deku deck-you Did you get up early or something?

farmer toshi: Hey, @foil-mecha, Tokoyami, you're in room 9. Have you heard anything in his room?

foil-mecha: His phone pinged when you @ed him. And I swear I heard him moving around a bit earlier.

farmer toshi: Do you think he's okay? Maybe he's sleeping again?

foil-mecha: No, usually he's up for the day once he's up.

feral cat dad: God, did he push himself too much to recover quickly?

President Megaphone: I'm in early, I'm coming over and checking on him since you're in not position to help him if he's hurt, Shouta.

feral cat dad: Fine.

6:35 AM

Existence Is A Prison

foil-mecha: Is Katsuki okay?

farmer toshi: He fine, just malnourished. He passed out after he woke up, ended up hitting his head a little on the ground, and getting a minor concussion.

gay salt: How!?

deku deck-you: I thought our parents were the ones that paid for our groceries but my parents have told me they won't do it.

feral cat dad: Don't worry about him and his stubbornness, I'll be bringing him to the store later once he feels better and making him pick up foods.

ranch flavored jello: Katsuki! The card you got! The barcode! You just scan the barcode! UA pays for your food while you're in the dorms!

deku deck-you: I know that now, Toru. I thought our family or parents paid for our food.

4:16 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Okay, get dressed and get a list if you want, kid. What foods do you like?

deku deck-you: Well, I'm allergic to shellfish.

feral cat dad: You've been eating with us all week and you didn't tell us you were allergic to something?

deku deck-you: I avoided things that had shellfish in them.

feral cat dad: Katsuki.

deku deck-you: You act like my mother didn't practically force me to have allergic reactions when she was tired of me.

feral cat dad: You're right, I do act like that because that's not okay. It's abuse, Katsuki, and I want you to be safe and happy. So please, tell me if you can't or even don't want to eat something.

deku deck-you: Alright.

feral cat dad; Okay, anything else you're allergic to?

deku deck-you: No, just shellfish.

feral cat dad; Anything you particularly like?

deku deck-you: Mackerel with spinach, mushrooms, and chili oil.

feral cat dad: Then we'll grab the stuff for you.

President Megaphone: I'll spoil you, kid, I'm your uncle now.

deku deck-you: If you plan on spoiling me, get me those sausages that look like octopi. I love them but I haven't been allowed to buy them for around five years.

President Megaphone: I swear, Shouta, this nephew will get all the sausages. UA is willing to buy.

feral cat dad: I know, but don't go all 'grab it all' at the store, Hizashi, the kid can grab his own food at his own pace. You can pick him up extra ones whenever. We're letting him pick up his own groceries probably for the first time in his life. Don't overwhelm him.

foil-mecha: Can you pick me up boiled octopus and baby sardines, Mr. Aizawa?

feral cat dad: Sure, I'll grab you a bunch of fish, kid.

foil-mecha: Much appreciated.

deku deck-you: Is there a limit I can use?

feral cat dad: No, there isn't. UA is full of future heroes who will likely need to build muscle to save others, to do that, you need to eat well, Nezu's rule for us dorm kids has always been to make sure we eat, he doesn't care how much it costs as long as you're healthy.

deku deck-you: Wow, that's actually. Just wow.

farmer toshi: Your shitty parents put you on a budget, huh?

deku deck-you: Usually I had to cost less than 1,000¥ per week. It was hard, especially building muscle to be a hero. I ate rice and eggs a lot so I wasn't completely starving but it was always hard living with them.

ranch flavored jello: Aren't your parents like famous or something? Why did they want you to be on a budget?

deku deck-you: They didn't like dealing with me besides to scream at me. I think it was to keep me from leaving them. They'd hand me exactly 1,000¥ every week I had to use my money for food because they wouldn't buy food for me after I turned 5. Then they'd still tell me what I couldn't buy.

foil-mecha: I feel great rage toward your parents and I hope they have a horrible life now without you.

deku deck-you: I do too, don't worry.

4:30 PM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you has started a video call

Hey, Kats, how's your shopping going? -foil-mecha

Are you upside down, Tokoyami? Why are you...? -deku deck-you

I'm on the couch. I refuse to sit correctly. -foil-mecha

Dad and Uncle Zashi are off getting dinner for tonight because Dad's getting a little souped out. So they're picking up some stuff for that and I didn't want to feel alone. -deku deck-you

Hey, little bro. -farmer toshi

I turn 16 tomorrow for your information. Call me 'little bro'. I'm probably the oldest of us kids in the dorms right now. -deku deck-you

I turn 16 tomorrow. -farmer toshi

Oh my god, I practically have twin sons now. -feral cat dad

Deal with it, Dad. -farmer toshi

Looks like I'm going over to the cake section and picking up two cakes. - President Megaphone

Strawberry. -farmer toshi

You don't have to. -deku deck-you

No, I don't have to, but I'm going to. -President Megaphone

Anything. -deku deck-you

You're getting your own cake, Katsuki. I'm not just gonna pick you up anything. What's your favorite cake flavor?  C'mon, little listener.-President Megaphone

I don't know. I've never had cake before. -deku deck-you

So a variety cake. I can work with that. -President Megaphone

Hey, Kats, can you grab those meat buns and red bean buns in the red bag to your right for me? -nat20

Yeah, okay. -deku deck-you

You're amazing. -nat20

What have you picked out so far, Kats? -ranch flavored jello

Uh, mushrooms, spinach, bean sprouts, eggs, mackerel, and Seiko's bun thing. I'm in the meat section so I'll probably pick up two of those...-deku deck-you

Two of what? -saviour

I got em. Those octopus sausages. I found them. I'm getting two of them.  Are you guys sure I'm not spending too much? -deku deck-you

Pick up anything you will either eat or give to someone else who will eat it. -feral cat dad

As long as you're sure. -deku deck-you

What'd you pick up, twinsie? -farmer toshi

Boiled octopus, bacon, ham, chicken, another two sets of the buns. -deku deck-you

Are you picking up things to eat with rice and eggs out of habit, Kats? -foil-mecha

I wanna buy what I know I like first before I buy things I won't eat. I already hate spending money as it is. -deku deck-you

Reasonable. Just make sure you pick up snacks for yourself since training for a Sports Festival takes a lot out of you. -feral cat dad

I am. Ooh, yoghurt. -deku deck-you

I'm right here, Katsuki. -feral cat dad

Hi, Dad. Alright, I'm ending this. Y'all text me if you want something else. -deku deck-you

Bye, twinsie. -farmer toshi

deku deck-you has ended the video call

5:30 PM

Existence Is A Prison

President Megaphone: I'm getting started on dinner. Should be done by 7.

deku deck-you: Can I eat my ice cream?

feral cat dad: You're allowed to eat whatever and whenever.

deku deck-you: I know, I just worry. It'll go away, I hope. I just get worried.

feral cat dad: Getting worried is normal. I was too when I was in your position.

deku deck-you: You were in my position?

feral cat dad: Kind of. Back then, fifteen years ago, there was no teacher or other students in the dorms, just me and Nezu. I was fresh from nine years in a foster home that would spend the money meant to support me on their own son.

feral cat dad: For the first month, I didn't buy myself food. I'd eat breakfast and lunch on school days and skip dinner and meals on weekends because I was scared of spending UA's money.

feral cat dad: After almost a month with no financial transactions on my account and the Sports Festival coming up, Nezu did a surprise inspection and flipped out when there was no food in the kitchen. He forced me to the store and made me buy dinner for us two because he wouldn't allow a student under his roof to not have food for themselves.

feral cat dad: Nezu sat me down and told me the same thing I told you and, after the Sports Festival, I actually bought myself and four friends dinner at a nice restaurant to celebrate me and my friend's winning tie and I paid the bill without even thinking about it.

gay salt: Wait, there was a tie at the sports festival?

feral cat dad: The first year rounds fifteen years ago, the only winning tie because we refused to fight again.

gay salt: I'll have to watch that and see my badass teacher fighting.

feral cat dad: The sports festivals are all free to watch on your televisions in your rooms, no need to pay to watch on YouTube.

Taglist: @everythingisstardust