lawrencegarte

[lawrencegarte]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[lawrencegarte]

[lawrencegarte]

its so sweet to me whenever a reconstruction of a neanderthal's face shows up on social media and people are like "oh they would have loved minecraft" "they would have loved weed brownies" it's so sweet. i hope that continues on to the next stage of human evolution. i want whoever comes next to dig me up, reconstruct my face, and for the girlbloggers of this far-flung civilization to go "duuuude she would have love churfing back a freefing zarbee"

[lawrencegarte]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[lawrencegarte]

Mrs. Claus opens "The Year Without a Santa Claus" by claiming the eponymous year took place "before you were born". Seeing as the movie was released in 1974, this means the year must have been before then.

Bounding this on the lower end is the presence of ice hockey - mentioned by Heat Miser - and the use of telephones. Ice hockey was invented in 1875, while Alexander Graham Bell built the telephone in 1876, meaning the year must post-date these. These figures give a range of approximately 100 years during which Santa may have taken his holiday.

Yet, narrowing this further is the presence of a December calendar counting the 1st to a Wednesday. Between 1876 and 1974, only the Decembers of 1880, 1886, 1897, 1909, 1915, 1920, 1926, 1937, 1943, 1948, 1954, 1965, and 1971 started on a Wednesday.

But still this can be narrowed further.

When Santa set out that Christmas Eve, we see what appears to be an almost full Moon in the sky. Within the years listed, only 1920 had a full Moon on Christmas.

Ergo, 1920 was the year without a Santa Claus.

[lawrencegarte]

[lawrencegarte]

Planning for a flight now consists of planning out how to document the legal violations the airline is inevitably going to commit.

[lawrencegarte]

idk who needs to hear this but if you signed up for a free trial for some subscription you don’t plan to keep bc you needed short-term access, go cancel it rn before you get charged

[lawrencegarte]

i know hes like. dying. but his miserable pose and the placement of the stone slabs reminds me of that sad frog image where the frog has fallen over and dropped his food tray

[lawrencegarte]

they're talking shit about you on bulbapedia

[lawrencegarte]

"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time

[lawrencegarte]

[lawrencegarte]

Love seeing something from TikTok and going “girlie that is literally what led to the downfall of the Papal States”

[lawrencegarte]

get okay with being some level of burden on others, seriously

[lawrencegarte]

release me you bastard i am not a yummy gyoza dumpling