#ughh fine okay
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Love Plague AU Narrator (Black) draw in Magma.
#THE MOTHER HAS BEEN CAPTURED AND CONTAINED#roll the credits#just kidding of course it's not THAT easy#i hate how drawing Magma in phone is so inconvenient#the canvas is like inches smaller#i havento zoom all the way in to draw neat lines#i cant color is the damn drawing because layers aren't accessable in mobile#so every drawing is done in only one layer which ughh it's not bad but it's ANNOYING#no no it's okay I'm not mad just irritated#i had experience with ms paint and this in comparison is a bit similar#so i cam do just fine in one layer#it's laggy as hell though LMAO#at least i can make up for these by making the lineart interesting to look at#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp#tspud#narrator tsp#tsp narrator#tsp love plague au#mine 💗#discord sketches#magma art
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arcane fandom it's been two whole minutes can we be normal about the maddie rebound.... like it's ok guys. caitvi will be ok. this is clearly not meant to be taken as a serious rival to their relationship, sometimes people just have sex. it's gonna be alright .
#idk ive been seeing ppl talk about how maddie must be secretly evil or working for ambessa and such#but it feels like its coming in bad faith#rather than a genunie desire to theorize.#like its cool it will be fine i promise it was made more than clear how important caitvi are to each other#and im not speaking as like a . secret maddie stan or avid shipper of her and cait (i had to look up her name before this) i just.#ughh fandom be normal about women pleassseeeee#people can have more than one relationship in their lives its okay. it doesnt suddently invalidate all others#and the language w which ive seen ppl talk about this chick is.. honestly dipping its toes into slutshaming..#like i sincerely do not have any emotional investment in this relationship but on principle i cannot condemn caitlyn for getting some#arcane season 2#screeds#txt#caitvi#caitlyn kiramman#arcane
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Just saw the viktor horse and understood why some ppl didnt like these
#apparently i couldnt really understand the other characters' fans' reactions without my fav being a horse#dear god#i mean its fine but#he's a horse#god#a weird choice of figurines....#idk#also the horse is not spoilimg anything idk why people say it does#it just looks like his lol version#vaguely#if he was a horse...#ugh#just why horses#ughh#its not that bad its fine#just weird#but ultimately okay#viktor#viktor arcane#arcane#viktor lol
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one of the pitfalls for me of writing in first person present tense (beloved!) is that I forget that I can just timeskip
#ughh how do I bring her from here to there?#<<just drop her in a new scene bestie. it's okay it's fine#that sweet sweet immediacy does come with the tradeoff#that it's harder to make summary feel natural#but that doesn't mean it can't be done! just not my instinct#third person past tense is smoother for this but incorporates the character's thoughts and emotional states less naturally imo#but we all do it anyway and it works so like. no reason I can't have perfectly fine summary in present tense. it's literally fine#anyway switching between the two wips does have me thinking about tense and pov like never before#someday I might end up doing something in first person past tense and have whole new problems and epiphanies#don't think I've done that yet.#third person present tense I've done and it's perfect for some things#but has the tendancy to make it feel like the characters are zombies (can be a good or bad flavor depending)#<<I mean like dissociative vibes yk??
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thinking gross thoughts about taking someone’s anal virginity before I ever touch their cunt this morning
#unimportant thoughts#backdoor things#meatz and I did this 🫶🏻#and princess has told me she wants me to be the first person to fuck her ass#and GODDDDDD im so fucking tempted to do the same thing to her#make it so the two people most important in my life had identical experiences#make it so both of their first times with me were slutty and objectifying and enforced their role underneath me#UGHH so hot#but ! probably wont#i dont think princess and i will handle things the same way meatz and i do because its s different relationship!#and thats fine because i cherish my relationship and experiences with meatz and keeping it special to just them is more than okay with me to#i love my people :(#pinkypprincess
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Happy International Men’s Day to this man because he’s the only man ever
#chet holmgren#the only man ever#international men's day#this man is sooo fine#an absolute dream#heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes#ughh i want him#(and yes technically i’m a day late but i haven’t really been online much because i haven’t been feeling well)#(but it’s okay)
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Work was reeeeeal stressful today and my anxiety’s suuuper high rn lmao. Send some asks?
#Shima speaks#I’m probably gonna play the new Genshin update to help me wind down a bit hfhfhhfh#It’s always crazy busy at EOM. I wasn’t even able to get everything in 😔#It’ll be fine I know. It was just a long day lol#Anyway. Genshin. I have not been playing at all the last few weeks ooos#*oops#I tried pulling for Xianyun with the little primos I had#Got a 5 star my first pull but it was Keqing 😭#It’s okay I’ll grind primos while I explore the new region :’)#Haha can’t believe One Piece has distracted me from even Genshin. Which I play religiously. LMAO#Ughh there’s so much I gotta DO I need to draw but I don’t want to put more stress on myself rn#Just play viddy games Shima……no more working today for you……
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january 10, 2024 // ☕️ one (decaf) espresso, then heading to the library to finish some reading // omnia vincit aequatio challenge day 7
- two doctor's appointments - nice food to take care of my body afterwards - holed up in the library, got some to dos out of the way and wrote an article for the campus magazine until my laptop battery died - had lunch at the dining hall/canteen with my boyfriend - went home for coffee and to grab my laptop charger - back to the library for some reading (as mentioned) - went to dance class (taking west coast swing this semester and it is amazing, though today was annoying and frustrating)
#okay fine it was personal reading so basically cheating ughh#reading#mine#ronastudies#daily#dark academia aesthetic#chaotic academia#dark academia#academia aesthetic#black nail polish#coffee#pen#fountain pen#notebook#german#deutsch#muji#handwritten#handwriting#espresso#q#aesthetic#omnia vincit aequatio challenge#study challenge#west coast swing
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ヮ_ヮ [<- the Creature of Solitude]
#just me hi#can i be left alone. for like. 48 hours hghghf#it would fix at least 2 of my problems lol#before we moved i spent a lot of time alone just drawing or daydreaming. and now. i'm going to explode hfhsh#it's not that i don't like interacting with people but i need to stop hearing every human voice i can't turn off or down Now or a crime is#On the horizon lmao . w .#ughh.. [rolls into a wall and forms myself perfectly into the corner that joins the wall and floor]#/okay i turned on my music and i'm mostly fine now hfbvhafhvjsfjv#i think i just need to be in control of what i'm hearing and how much. or i'll Dieeeeee ouHhhhhh [flails dramatically]#//anywho i think one of the greatest of little joys has to be something updating lol :>#if it's on a reliable schedule? i am laying down my life for it hghfsh#updates randomly and when you don't expect? the surprises!! :D#/storing every kind of story i've heard in my brain cabinets. sometimes the moths get them but aside from that.. :3#//speaking of i wanna work on pi.e....#there's some pretty important stuff i've gotta figure out (gggoggoughhhhrhhhhh [<- pre-game dying]) and then ye :D#i've been thinking about making a language for it cuz wellll [wellll gesture]#//anyway going to read this story now... yippeee :DD#ciao ciao ~+~ :33
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#doctor: you should continue botox#me: ugh fine#miscellaneous#me: it's not really working#him: but it's kind of working#i mean touché dude but still can't look at flashing lights#ughh fine okay i'll get fucking injected with this shit next week at least one more time#it's covered by insurance and STILL isn't cheap 🙃
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I would do whatever this man wanted, no questions asked
#rob lopez#røb#loveliveserve#strawberry park#the feminism leaving my body when rob lopez exists#the feminine urge to take care of him#look I just wanna be there for him and listen to his problems okay#😭❤️#ughh this man is so fine#got me under his spell#rob what are you doing to me
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#periodical life updates#HUH. OKAY. MANY THINGS OF NOTE. things im not excited for first!!#im going to go into coding now because my parents want me to so whatever i guess!! i think coding is cool anyway and im willing to learn#its such a vague job. my sister recommends front end web development. i still dont know. i guess i'll look into it. gwuah.#registered for classes and now im just waiting for them to start. i dont know if i can do four classes. ive tried and failed before.#but im grown now. classes should be simple. i should be fine. i have to finish this soon.#im going to the dentists soon and as much as i hate toothaches i HATE THE DENTISTS i hate them im so scared of them u-u <33#i probably need a lot of fillings and sht and im not hype about it. i hate the dentists but i know my teeth will hurt bad so i will go ughh#im tired and i need to cook spaghetti soon and life is currently so up in the air right now. i have things i want to queue but everytime i#go look at my drafts i just close the tab again guhhh. okay lets talk about other things now.#changed my profile pic!! its so cute i love my orange pattern shirt <3 daily eca is posted and that ones cute too <3#im excited for the pjsk pop in my heart event; ive been waiting for a four star emu for so long and nicori smile survey is a fun song <3#the valentines day one has such a cute emu too and the white day event has a knight tsukasa which i ADORE <3 knights are so my aesthetic#got to say good morning to darling and eros today <33 might make an oc for a friend on twitter's oc storyline which is fun <3#finished some things up yesterday that i dont have to deal with anymore.#im trying. im trying really hard. we'll get there eventually. *sighs*#napping now maybe. i love you <3
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for my junior high school level classes i have to teach a small section with intonation/pronunciation and i fucking hate it because the intonation/pronunciation they use on the cd/in the textbook is SO american and it feels completely unnatural to me. the first time i taught this class i taught the pronunciation and then we listened to the cd and i realised the intonation was actually really different to what i'd just been teaching them and i felt so awkward
#i'd listened to the cd before the class but i kinda forgot the pronunciation was so weirdly different to uk english ughh#like i really am big on teaching pronunciation and intonation and connected speech#and a lot of the kids are too! they love it when i praise them for sounding like native speakers!#but the variation between us english and uk english is wild#like the way they want me to say 'are you okay?' sounds fine in us english#but when i say it with that intonation it feels and sounds fucking weird
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thinking about your no love like a parasite's for its host art again..
what loves you
#this and the magnus archives episode#dude i need to talk to you about that book that really fucked me up#it has similar themes (unfortunately)#its been weeks and ughh im so not okay since reading it and i gotta talk to somone about it#been trying to gaslight myself for the past few days that no actually its fine it didnt affect me all that much#but then i remembered your art this morning. well and how i coudnt stop thinking about it for months#and that magnus archives episode#and uhhhh#anyway
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#ughh im going to watch house#to keep even a fraction of my will to live#but holy fucking shit how am i suppposed to live like this#and it doesnt even get better#well it does#but goddamn thats a lot of pain and hurt and fucking hell a year is too long to live like that#and im supposed to be okay and fine with it because...?#ugh. its like it gets better but kinda better in the sense that i have to live a Complicated Adult Life like most adults do#which fine. fair. but holy shit i wish there was soemthing better to live for sometiems#like this time of pain#and then another 5 years of working myself until im burnt through#and then finally at least leaving#like holy fuck surely if something cared itd be easier#you know what i wanna do like right now#a friend offered to get drunk with me in the park#i want to get wasted in the park have pizza go lie in the grass and deal with the consequences later#because fuck. even if im not doing anythign wrong even life is awful#i just want something to be better and somethign at least to let me live
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It’s gotten to the point that I’m getting homework assigned to improve my serve…
#I cannot for the life of me get an overhand serve to work#and it’s so frustrating!!#I wanna practice but at the same time usually it means someone won’t get a serve to receive cause it’ll be shitty#and I don’t wanna do that#but today we had some time where we weren’t that many#so I was like okay today I’ll stick to it#and keep practicing#and fucking none of them came over the net ughh#my coach ended telling me to just do a few underhanded serves for a while to still get to receive smt#which was fine but also ugh#so after training he was like if you do this with a tennis ball you can practice the movement#which is very nice and I wanna do that but it’s wild that it has come to that#last time I practiced it I got two over the net out of like 15#but still that was something! I can do it sometimes#so like I will do it some day not all is lost#but it’s wild that such a simple movement doesn’t work for me#idk if it’s coordinating with the ball as well but it’s shitty#oh well I’ll try and find a tennis ball at home bc my coach wanted to bring me one#but I won’t be there next Monday and next Wednesday is cancelled#so I’ll try and find my own bc otherwise it’ll be a while#fingers crossed#I will get it one day! I’m making fucking sure of that#me#volley serve progress#I might come back to this post some day
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