#ugh this was hard y'all

[velvet-games]

Alastor settled more comfortably in the boat, sighing as the gentle sound of water and crickets cradled his head. He looked up. The sky was always kinder than the water, never reflecting back and instead projecting outward into forever. Heaven maybe, but he’d never believed in that. 

Alastor found that most people thought he was vain, with the way he looked and dressed. Perhaps they were right – he did spend an inordinate amount of time fussing over clothes and hair and whatever else, but it was that exact obsession that was the result not of satisfaction, but horror. 

Horror. It was far more startling when he first looked into a mirror as a child, shocked each time by what he found. No longer was he the voice his father praised so much for its talent for harmonies, but a physical, flesh-and-blood human. He tried straight hair and dresses, wigs and makeup, but they were pretty bandaids over a stab wound that went all the way through. 

The horror had dulled to a faint buzz at the top of his spine now, but it still gnawed at him. Every adjustment of his collar or pull at his hair was one more compulsive edit to a script that should never have been written at all. Alastor wasn’t afraid of Hell, but he was afraid of dying in this body. He was afraid that his voice would end tethered to a human that, however beautiful, could never feel like him.

[jazz-downtown]

Constantly stuck between wanting to jerk off with the fleshlight and not wanting to deal with the clean up afterwards

[campingwiththecharmings]

How can I feel both lonely and like my social battery is completely drained at the same time? 😩

[rexscanonwife]

Am I crazy?? Am I insane? Fuck it fnaf s/i for today!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫

She's a party planner/host and absolutely loves her job and the kids she works with and always keeps up a cheery attitude...well, almost always. She also grew up next to the Afton house and was very close to the family.

[stellerssong]

a heartbreaking thing is when you are going through fandom edits and gifsets and such and you find a gifset with lyrics from a song you don't know that is SO i mean SO completely on the level with one of your unhinged personal aus that it makes you start wriggling and writhing and bouncing up and down in your seat and has you actually pecking sentences into your wip

and then you look up the song and it's bad.

[runawaymun]

.

[krash-and-co]

Hey, Krash! So sorry you were upset by the conversation in discord. I know for myself (and I think for others) I genuinely wanted to know what would need to be done differently. And maybe we all don’t know yet! And that’s ok for now. I love the way engage with the fandom, and I hope you feel appreciated in various spaces today.

hey !! sorry I've been busy so I didn't get to answering this !! also saw your other ask about this being a dm, that's ok I'll answer this ask and you can still dm if you want. :]

I don't know what can be done, but I do want to mention I wasn't trying to ask anyone in particular to do something, that server was just one group of people that had the most fans working on saving the show and people with bigger 'official' accounts, if you know what I mean. so I thought that would be a good place to share my thoughts.

I was. uh. wrong. there were more of you than I thought. I did not exit unscathed.

but anyways lol yeah this isn't something one person can, should, and will have to change. i don't think it's a server mod problem. also I learned I kinda came in at a bad time, I apologize for that.... whoops lol

anyways, the main problem I was having with everything was how fake it all seemed from the outside, just something to drum up interest, no real love in the piece itself. and if you WERENT doing that all the time, you didn't care about the show. it felt shoved in your face. i missed when we made things out of love, not just putting anything out there to get a tag to trend. i missed when we were creating because we wanted to make something to show we LOVED lockwood and co, not because we wanted to bring attention to Lockwood and co and that's a way to do it. this has caused a noticable amount of people to leave, which was the final straw and why I sent that message today. people I hadn't spoken to in a while appeared saying they left due to how it all felt so forced and fake, and that upset me. but I have thought this for a while even before this. there has to be a balance where we can work on saving the show and actually enjoying what we do have. an overwhelming amount of posts is about saving the show, not the show or books themselves. and I know not everyone is doing this, just by the way. I was hoping this could be achieved by toning down the constant reminders to post (not just official accounts mind you!!! this post is not targeting y'all !!! I promise) , or *looks at the camera* giving the people what they want already, but I don't even know anymore. I wasn't expecting the reaction I got, I genuinely thought it was a simple request to dial it down a bit and I'm sorry I caused an uproar 😭😭

full disclaimer tho, it is 1 am and I have no idea what I just said ! maybe I am hallucinating this paragraph of text. maybe irs not one paragraph actually. I don't think it is. who knows. I amgoing to sleep now 👍 ty for ask jrjfjdb sorry there was no usual krash air of whimsy thru this, my whimsy kinda got punched in the face a few times and it went in its room to feel better 😔

[heretherebedork]

I love Joe so much because he's gay but he doesn't fit the idea so many people have about being gay, from penetration to gay bars, and he finds himself stuck in a world where he doesn't see anyone else inhabiting and it's just him. Just him, alone, even when he falls in love, because what the world says he's supposed to be and supposed to like isn't him.

Ugh, the amount I understand and adore Joe because it's so hard to look at the life you're expected to live if you label yourself and realize you don't want it... and realizing that the label that fits you doesn't help because there are so many things and expectations attached to that label.

Joe just wants to be gay and not go clubbing and not have penetrative sex but he can't say that because it's seen as unacceptable, it's seen as not being gay, and he doesn't know how to say those things to Army who does like those things and does fit the expectations of the label and who expresses that he enjoys all those things that Joe Doesn't.

Alex going and talking to him was needed because Joe needed to tell someone and we know that Alex can accept him and not just accept him, but support him and help him be honest with Army. Because Army needs that honesty, he needs to be told.

It's about being honest with the people you love, honest about what you want and don't want, communicating because you love them and trust them and want them to know you, not just doing things because you feel an obligation because of a societal label.

[guroseinsei]

the urge to delete is always there, sadly but the bookmarks always get me going "oh hm maybe not" cause as an avid-ao3 bookmarker(?) i know the pain of going into bookmarks and seeing "sorry this work has been deleted!" and wondering which one it fucking was if you didnt leave a note on it.

[aberooski]

I'm noticing that lately when I try to write it's like there's a wall between me and the page. Like I can write and I can get words down, but I feel like an actual block in my mind and whatever gets past it and onto the page feels very shallow and not very good but I can’t break down that barrier and fix it and I don't know what's up with that.

It just translates into me thinking that I've lost my touch and that I can't write anymore and I'll never get back to feeling like my new stuff is as good as the old stuff and like I'm just phoning it in even though I'm really trying. I know I need to get past that because those thoughts don't help. But like I don't know how to fix iiiiittttttt uuuuuuggggghhhhh 😭

[queerpyracy]

wish we had a social script for when an older relative you don't hate but with whom you do have a strained and complicated relationship is dying. like how am i supposed to talk about this and how are my friends supposed to respond. condolences feel like a burden but that's not anyone else's fault

[empressofthelibrary]

God I hope someone recognizes the amount of research I'm putting into this bouquet

[dollsandmasks]

You know that moment where you have a crumb of free time and you could be writing, you could be finishing that fic, you could be catching up with your friends, you could take out your sketchbook and draw the most self-indulgent things, you could at least be reading or watching something interesting, but you happen to have a minor task that you don't want to do, your body is slightly uncomfortable from typical body things and your work has been a bit stressful today, so now you are in a restless scrolling more and opening the same three social media apps hoping that something will give you that hit and send your brain in motion and make you either work on tasks or do something fun.

Why am I procrastinating making a single phone call, and then doing fun things forever.

[rexscanonwife]

Shit an f/o will have you do I stg, last night I also watched the trolls holiday special 😂 (The second one not the first one yes there's multiples) where basically Poppy organizes a secret santa event for EVERY troll kingdom in the land and it was...pretty cute!

Ofc you know the real reason I watched it is cause Barb is in that one and ahfjfj she's so adorable I love her so much 😭😭💖🫶💖🫶💖 she got Mr. Dinkles who she didn't even know about and when Poppy told her he's a worm she was like "a worm...? 🤨 that's AWESOME!! 😆😆" I LOVE HER SO MUCH THE SILLYYYY 💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘

[carneflower13]

man oh man i sure do love being autistic and working a cashier job and having The Neurotypicals™ accuse me of being 'unfriendly' just because i'm being my not super talkative self and i didn't pick up on one of their social cues /s

[dewitty1]

Saturday Six (Stuff)

But on Sunday

The Farmer's Market was slow AF again yesterday. But it was also hot as hell too. Though I did get quite a few people talking to me, which was great. Idk, this year has been very strange. (゜-゜)

Speaking of work being strange, idk what to do about my accountant. She still hasn't got my sales tax put in to the state dept of revenue, nor are my federal taxes done. I'd fire her but she's a family friend. Ugh. (；¬д¬)

I do not like this record breaking heat were having. Neither does my air conditioner.(･｀ｪ´･)つ

My annoying neighbor who has, for the 7 years that I've lived here, put out his leftover food "for the birds", has now recently put out an aluminum pan for food. Welp, naturally this attracts rodents. And other stray animals. My cat Reggie does not mind the occasional rodent, and has recently caught a few rats and left them for us. Ugh. On Thursday there was a bit of commotion (people grabbing loudly) outside, and I was looking for Reggie anyway due to it being firework day, so I looked to see what was up. It was a mother effing snek!!!! Ugh. So yeah, he's got sneks coming around, because of all the rodents. In all the years, we've never seen one here until now. I'm very upset to say the least. And I'll be talking to my landlord tomorrow. ヽ(●-`Д´-)ノ

My parents had a birthday/anniversary party yesterday and I had probably THE WORST deviled egg of my life. ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ

I keep torturing myself by looking at houses for sale. It's really frustrating.(´Д｀)