#ugh i hate the fourth
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i went on a BUNCH of yapping under the cut about dumb shit lmao
sort of??? a vent?? ig?? idk im just gonna post it before i convince myself not to
i have this one vivid memory of a fourth of july several years ago, im not sure quite how many, i assume i was somewhere from 9-12 years old? anyways my dad drove my family up to some street id never been before and we all sat out on the sidewalk to watch the big fireworks they were setting off over the water. that was the only time i really ever remember actually enjoying watching fireworks. they were bright and colorful but distant, and there was a noticeable buffer between the explosion and the sound that followed. the concrete was warm and it smelled like summer. im not quite sure how long we sat out there. could have been anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour but i couldn't have told you the difference.
its kind of ironic how important this holiday is to me no matter how much i despise it
not in the sense that i care about american independence day, but a hell of a lot of things that would be hard to forget have certainly happened.
i could have died this day two years ago.
it was nobodies fault.
windy night, unstable firework, happened to be sitting in the wrong place at the wrong time.
but i got away with only a small burn.
i think a lot about what could have happened had things gone slightly differently. had i been sitting farther forward. had i not moved fast enough. would i still be here? maybe im being over dramatic but i honestly dont know. i dont know what could have happened.
i was away from home that year. far away from my parents. and as funny as it is earlier that day i was genuinely contemplating if i had died today what would i have been worth. did i do anything worth remembering, had i been somebody worth caring about. and i didn't know.
ive changed a lot in those past two years. the person who looks back in the mirror is not that same kid who laughed at the thought of death when it stared him in the face. ive been to hell and back, im an emotional wreck, and its become kinda hard to breath sometimes but yknow we tough it out.
i still am afraid to die. but now its not because i feel as though ive done nothing of value, but because now i feel as though i actually have something to lose.
because despite everything somebody does care
and despite everything i have done something of value, even if it was just making somebody laugh once
there have been days where i wished that firework had ended it after all
thats something i cant deny
but to finally understand that yeah somebody would miss me
is enough to hope i get to sit on that warm sidewalk and watch the sky again someday
#ugh i hate the fourth#at least i managed to weasel my way out of having to spend time with family<333#we stay winning chat#anyways enjoy this shitty sketch i did because i was feeling a little bit sad#and this is how we deal with our emotions#by tumblr posting#art#drawing#digital art#digital drawing#furry#fursona#sfw furry#sfw furry art#Spotify
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just accidentally stumbled on an egwene hate reddit thread and everyone was bitching about how she tries to act like rand's equal when she's only the second-most powerful authority figure on the continent, and one sane person was like "well, balance was a huge theme of the series, so it's pretty clear that RJ did consider the dragon and the amyrlin two halves of a whole and that rand is meant to be egwene's equal co-authority rather than her superior" and of course they were downvoted to hell. and this one little thread just really epitomizes how the readers who approach WOT as a male power fantasy just fundamentally will never understand the series and its themes and the story it was ACTUALLY telling.
#and probably also why they hate the show so much and insist it's nothing like the books#because the show is telling the same story the books were telling#but this medium makes it harder for you to ignore the story being told and convince yourself the version you made up is what's there#wot#wot book spoilers#and of course that thread was full of takes like 'the point is to show that egwene=tuon and amyrlin seat=crystal throne#and the white tower is just as bad as the seanchan and everyone should shut up and listen to rand'#and 'egwene was an abusive bully and thank god she died in TLB or the world would've been screwed in the fourth age'#UGH#and even the argument of people trying to be more ~fair~ is just 'egwene's a terrible person but a great character'#UGH!!!! she is literally one of the most morally righteous people in the series#and her bad moments are nowhere near as bad or as numerous as the war crimes rand pulls#yet no one ever doubts that RAND is ultimately a good person who stumbled here and there#(ig maybe egwene's TAR nynaeve thing is worse than anything rand did? but it's also abundantly clear that RJ had no idea HOW bad it was#so i take that moment with a bit of a grain of salt since i really don't think he grasped the severity of what he wrote there#and if he had he very likely would have written it differently)
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Me realising I have to actually write my whole fic and not just little paragraphs in between with no context: Fuck
#I have everything planned out#but the first part is SO BORING UGH#i just want to dissect their relationship and professional lives#and write about their parallels and how they grow and change over the span of their time together#but I have to sit here and write about the fourth of July#i say this like i didnt plan out that scene and CHOOSE to write it#still#not liking it#However this is my attempt at starting a fic and actually finishing it#said fic just so happens to be long as shit and spans roughly 30-ish years#I do this to myself#and then have to audacity to complain#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun 1986#yes I know I'm writing fic for a military propaganda movie when I hate the military#and America#*sigh*#the things you give up for a hyperfixation#fanfiction#fanfic
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So so indebted to u for posting those lovely illustrations from Cyrano <333 & even more so for yr tags!! I'm completely in love w yr analysis, please feel free to ramble as long as u wish! Browsing through yr Cyrano de Bergerac tag has given me glimpses of so many adaptations & translations I'd never heard of before! I'll be watching the Solès version next, which I have only discovered today through u ^_^ As for translations, have u read many/all of them? I've only encountered the Renauld & Burgess translations in the wild, & I was curious to hear yr translation thoughts that they might guide my decision on which one I buy first (not necessarily Renauld or Burgess ofc). Have a splendid day & sorry for the likespam! 💙
Sorry for the delay. Don't mind the likespam, I'm glad you enjoyed my tags about Cyrano, and that they could contribute a bit to a further appreciation of the play. I loved it a lot, I got obsessed with it for months. It's always nice to know other people deeply love too that which is loved haha I hope you enjoy the Solès version, it may well be my favourite one!
About translations, I'm touched you're asking me, but I don't really know whether mine is the best opinion to ask. I have read... four or five English translations iirc, the ones I could find online, and I do (and especially did, back when I was reading them) have a lot of opinions about them. However, nor English nor French are my first languages (they are third and fourth respectively, so not even close). I just read and compare translations because that's one of my favourite things to do.
The fact is that no translation is perfect, of course. I barely remember Renauld's, but I think it was quite literal; that's good for understanding the basics of the text, concepts and characters, but form is subject, and there's always something that escapes too literal translations. Thomas and Guillemard's if I recall correctly is similar to Hooker's in cadence. It had some beautiful fragments, some I preferred over Hooker's, but overall I think to recall I liked Hooker's more. If memory serves, Hooker's was the most traditionally poetic and beautiful in my opinion. Burgess' is a whole different thing, with its perks and drawbacks.
Something noticeable in the other translations is that they are too... "epic". They do well the poetic, sorrowful, grief stricken, crushed by regrets aspects of Cyrano and the play in general, but they fall quite short in the funny and even pathetic aspects, and that too is key in Cyrano, both character and play. Given the characteristics of both languages, following the cadence of the French too literally, with those long verses, makes an English version sound far too solemn at times when the French text isn't. Thus Burgess changes the very cadence of the text, adapting it more to the English language. This translation is the one that best sets the different moods in the play, and as I said before form is subject, and that too is key: after all, the poetic aspect of Cyrano is as much true as his angry facet and his goofy one. If Cyrano isn't funny he isn't Cyrano, just as he wouldn't be Cyrano without his devotion to Roxane or his insecurities; Cyrano is who he is precisely because he has all these facets, because one side covers the other, because one trait is born from another, because one facet is used as weapon to protect the others, like a game of mirrors and smoke. We see them at different points through the play, often converging. Burgess' enhances that. He plays with the language itself in form and musicality, with words and absences, with truths masking other truths, with things stated but untold, much like Cyrano does. And the stage directions, poetic and with literary value in their own right in a way that reminded me of Valle Inclán and Oscar Wilde, interact with the text at times in an almost metatextual dimension that enhances that bond Cyrano has with words, giving them a sort of liminal air and strengthening that constant in the play: that words both conceal and unveil Cyrano, that in words he hides and words give him away.
But not all is good, at all. Unlike Hooker, Burgess reads to me as not entirely understanding every facet of the characters, and as if he didn't even like the play all that much, as if he had a bit of a disdainful attitude towards it, and found it too mushy. Which I can understand, but then why do you translate it? In my opinion the Burgess' translation does well bending English to transmit the different moods the French text does, and does pretty well understanding the more solemn, cool, funny, angry, poetic aspects of Cyrano, but less so his devotion, vulnerability, insecurities and his pathetism. It doesn't seem to get Roxane at all, how similar she is to Cyrano, nor why she has so many admirers. It does a very poor job at understanding Christian and his value, and writes him off as stupid imo. While I enjoyed the language aspect of the Burgess translation, I remember being quite angry at certain points reading it because of what it did to the characters and some changes he introduces. I think he did something very questionable with Le Bret and Castel-Jaloux, and I remember being incensed because of Roxane at times (for instance, she doesn't go to Arras in his version, which is a key scene to show just how much fire Roxane has, and that establishes several parallels with Cyrano, in attitude and words, but even in act since she does a bit what Cyrano later does with the nuns in the last act), and being very angry at several choices about Christian too. While not explicitly stated, I think the McAvoy production and the musical both follow this translation, because they too introduce these changes, and they make Christian as a character, and to an extent the entire play, not make sense.
For instance, once such change is that Christian is afraid that Roxane will be cultured (McAvoy's version has that infamous "shit"/"fuck" that I detest), when in the original French it's literally the opposite. He is not afraid she will be cultured, he is afraid she won't, because he does love and appreciate and admires those aspects of her, as he appreciates and admires them in Cyrano. That's key! Just as Cyrano longs to have what Christian has, Christian wants the same! That words escape him doesn't mean he doesn't understand or appreciate them. The dynamics make no sense without this aspect, and Burgess (and the productions that directly or indirectly follow him) constantly erases this core trait of Christian.
Another key moment of Christian Burgess butchers is the scene in Arras in which Christian discovers the truth. Burgess writes their discussion masterfully in form, it's both funny and poignant, but it falls short in concept: when Cyrano tells him the whole discussion about who does Roxane love and what will happen, what they'll do, is academic because they're both going to die, Christian states that dying is his role now. This destroys entirely the thing with Christian wanting Roxane to have the right to know, and the freedom to choose, or to refuse them both. As much as Cyrano proclaims his love for truth and not mincing words even in the face of authority, Cyrano is constantly drunk on lies and mirages, masks and metaphors. It's Christian who wants it all to end, the one who wants real things, the one who wants to risk his own happiness for the chance of his friend's, as well as for the woman he loves to stop living in a lie. That is a very interesting aspect of Christian, and another aspect in which he is written as both paralleling and contrasting Cyrano. It's interesting from a moral perspective and how that works with the characters, but it's also interesting from a conceptual point of view, both in text and metatextually: what they hold most dear, what they most want, what most fulfills them, what they most fear, their different approaches to life, but also metatextually another instance of that tears/blood motif and its ramifications constant through the whole text. Erasing that climatic decision and making him just simply suicidal erases those aspects of Christian and his place in the Christian/Cyrano/Roxane dynamic, all for plain superficial angst, that perhaps hits more in the moment, but holds less meaning.
Being more literal, and more solemn, Hooker's translation (or any of the others, but Hooker's seems to love the characters and understand them) doesn't make these conceptual mistakes. Now, would I not recommend reading Burgess' translation? I can't also say that. I had a lot of fun reading it, despite the occasional anger and indignation haha Would I recommend buying it? I recommend you give an eye to it first, if you're tempted and can initially only buy one.
You can read Burgess' translation entirely in archive.com. You can also find online the complete translations of Renauld, Hooker and Thomas and Guillemard. I also found a fifth one, iirc, but I can't recall it right now (I could give a look). You could read them before choosing, or read your favourite scenes and fragments in the different translations, and choose the one in which you like them better. That's often what I do.
Edit: I've checked to make sure and Roxane does appear in Arras in the translation. It's in the introduction in which it is stated that she doesn't appear in the production for which the translation was made. The conceptualisation of Roxane I criticise and that in my opinion is constant through the text does stay, though.
#I have a lot of opinions about translations in general tbh but this is not a semi clear case like in Crime and Punishment#in which there's one detail that a translation must do for me to recommend it (it used to be the one but now in English several do it)#I wouldn't recommend Burgess as a first approach to the play‚ but having already read the play and knowing the text and characters#and how Burgess may modify it‚ then I wouldn't not recommend it because it is the best in form in many aspects#And while he fails in direct concept‚so to speak‚ form is particularly important in this play and in conveying concept and characterisatio#So idk personal taste is it I guess? Again I am not an English or French native#I vehemently recommend reading the play in French if you can and haven't done so already#Even best if you want a translation to read the translation alongside the French text#to see how the translation bends the play in form and subject#Anyway... Sorry for the long delay and the too long reply. I always end up talking too much#Oh by the way I think I saw you talk about the blood/tears motif in the act IV in some tags? It's not just act IV#The tears/soul motif is repeated through the entire text linked to Cyrano and is opposed to the body of Christian#That's why the culmination in the last act and the tears in the fourth hit so much#Like the constant of Cyrano being linked to the moon and the darkness while Roxane is the sun and the light#And also I would argue the 'pearled perfection of her smile' is not an unidentifiable trait or intangible#It's poetic and metaphoric but it's a description of her teeth. Small‚ straight‚ white. Perfect teeth. That wasn't so common back then#It's quite common in classic literature to find poetic references of good teeth spoken of in these terms#Anyway...#I hope you'll find some use in this that would make the insufferable wall of text worth some of the time at least#After all time spent is a little death. I would have hated to kill a fragment of you for nothing haha#Cyrano de Bergerac#Did I tag asks? I usually delete them after a while so I think I didn't? I never recall#I talk too much#That will suffice#Hmmm it's useless in any case. I think I've talked for over twenty tags before tagging that#A wall of text and somehow I ramble in the tags nonetheless ugh#I will reread this in a bit to see if it's coherent enough. The little screen of the phone always makes me lose track of things when I writ
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i luv 2 luv a book i love starting a book i am excited about…have nothing to do all day but read hopefully in the garden of the weather perks up i need to find some good books to put on my tbr..
#after i finish the way back i dont have anything else lined up to read i must rectify that…need to find some good fiction. i love to hate a#book but i also love to love a book that is just as important 2 me i swear im not a hater all the way down…in fact still thinking about all#quiet on the western front the more i think of it the more tempted i am to maybe change my rating from 4.75 to 5…only my fourth ever five#stars that would be kind of crazy..ugh! the wild trials and tribulations of my crazy exciting life that i share with you all..#reading tag
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Nameless Part Seven - Puppet Page 1/8
Girls night girls night girls night
🡨 Previous Next 🡪
Part I Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part II Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 Part III Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 Part IV Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part V Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part VI Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 Part VII Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 Part VIII Navigation: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8
(Full view for sharper image.)
#they are so unenthusiastic but they'll go along#anything is better than watching fish or doing reports I guess#nameless comic#reva sevander#seventh sister#fourth sister#star wars rebels#kenobi series#obi wan kenobi series#obi wan kenobi show#nur#fortress inquisitorius#star wars inquisitor#third sister#swr inquisitorius#gosh I hate the inquisitors' naming conventions - so impractical to remember them all by numbers - even droids have it better lmao#also I don't know what possessed me to briefly include EVEN MORE blasted women into this comic ugh drawing is hard#fun fact trilla was gonna be in this too but then I checked the timeline and oh no :(#no girls night for trilla pour one out for trilla
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wahhhh guys i have to rip out like two entire sections on my neckwarmer knitting wip and i was ALMOST DONE 😭😭😭 but its just too fucking talllllll :’( photos before i take it out for posterity. first off a little commotion as it slayssss outside of this error. clap and cheer. but anyways i was working on the final motif which are going to be hearts but i need to go back and take out that entire fourth repeat of leaves even tho i did as many as the pattern calls for!! its just so tall like if i keep going it will be like to my forehead when i finish. not ideal! sorry for the garish censoring but just so u get an idea of how tall it is on my face
#andddd i have to take out the top half of the third repeat of leaves because that will become my final repeat ofc#and the last repeat as a slightly different version– see the small heart motif rather than the like.. diamonds i guess?#which isnt that bad but like ugh. yknow#which is funny cause when i was doing the fourth repeat i was like man this is kinda tall should i take it out and redo…. and then i didnt#consoling myself by saying ill have more yarn leftover if i take it out. love to have leftover yarn#most i hate putting stitches back onto needles because theyre always backwards or i drop them or whatever else#but luckilyyyy my nan is coming over tomorrow and i had wanted to be mostly done when she did so she could see it#but my mom says she could help me put them back on the needles. wonderful idea. so hopefully shes good at that#also like yes much of the time i would presumably have it just around my neck not all the way up my face#butttt with all this extra fabric its bunching a lot and its just not as good
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Just read an utterly emotionally devastating entry in the "One or both of teen!Skk gets sent to the future and adult!Skk has to deal with it" kind of ficsUGH
I've read very few, but I want to read more it's such a good trope I need more
The way people use that trope either to get teen!Skk or (imo the better choice) Adult!Skk to reflect on their dynamic LIKE A H it's genius
#Everyone needs to read Narrow Staircase by rutu14 on Ao3#I AM DEVASTATED#Started tearing up a fourth of the way through#Kept crying until the end honestly#Like#Chuuya says “Maybe once I'm dead I'll finally be something other than just a weapon!”#AND IM SUPPOSED TO WHAT?#NOT BURST INYO TEARS OVER THAT?#Dazai at the end oh God#He both hurt and mended my heart at the same time#Another day another few hours spent crying over skk#This fic also just reminded me of that post talking about how Teen!Chuuya would hate his adult self and who he became like UGH#I'm in pain#skk#soukoku#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd
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gods fuckign damnit mark, why.........
#ugh gods i fucking hate it here this is hell lmao....#...#just literally supporting the genocide and pretending stuff is fine here in the gd usa#i want this fucking government overthrown. i want capitalism to die. i want the “representatives”amf celebrities to not exist#i want people to be people abd fucking care about others..... this is so upsettinf#mark was one of the last few........ but nope#they all turn evil turn eventually. thos is living in the shit factory that is america.#and the world as a whole.#there are NO moral rich people. money corrupts and we see it all the ficking time#ughhhvh hh hh actually upset lmaooo#i wish anyone would fucking care about gaza and Palestinians and the WAR AND GENOCIDE *WE* ARE LITERALLY FUNDING#tumblr has had multiple tags trending for weeks (months?) for gaza and Palestine..... ppl here actually fucking care at least.#power to the ppl please......#sry im just so exhausted a d full of rage#star wars#mark hamill#star wars day#anti isreal#palestine#may the fourth be with you
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unrelated to this book lol but fucken hell it feels so good to be able to brush my teeth again i wasnt able or allowed to leave my bed at the hospital so i didnt get to brush them all week and UGH love being in control of my Routine lmao
#bookbird babbles#hate that gross feeling you get in the hospital#i know theres no avoiding it but ugh it makes everything worse#and then the soap they give you to wash up makes me break out#just an awful experience all around#anyway back to fourth wing
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fuck, i guess i have a crush on the teaching assistant...
#i hate this cliche#since my first year in the school#everyone had crushes#i was like “UGH”#“they are not even cool or attractive”#this is my fourth year in school#and now#i guess i have a crush on one t.a.#i need help#please convince me i am overthinking and my thoughts are not even real#hasthtags are feeling like insert thoughts#ramble#daily ramble#daily life#university#crush
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My friend and I are tandem reading Iron Flame and it’s hilarious to me how differently we’re reacting to things
#semi spoilers in the tags here#she hates Dain and Lilith#meanwhile I went from indifferent to Dain to loving him#and Lilith…eh#and then she’s reading the torture scene and is like ugh this is gonna be so hard to read#and meanwhile I thoroughly enjoyed that scene#I can’t wait to see how she reacts further down the line#z.txt#fourth wing#iron flame#iron flame spoilers
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i’m so thankful that i am born into the era of modern medicine because imagine dealing with nausea in the medieval times
#i think i’d just die#i hate nausea so much#probably the worst feeling ever#this was written after i threw up for the fourth time in a day#lol#idk#nausea#ugh
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if tumblr breaks my tags on my blogs one more time i think i’m going to explode.
#THIS IS LIKE THE FOURTH TIME NOW!!! I HATE HAVING TO REDO THEM BECAUSE THEN TOO MANY POP UP AS SUGGESTED TAGS!!#UGH DOING THAT RQ#* . ⊹ † bird yoru. › ooc.
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sorry i haven’t been online i’ve been hyperfixating on bolstering my dynasty in ck3
#on my fourth high king of ireland!! had a rough start since the vassals were all like you need a regent ☝️🤓 since your family has been rulin#g for so long#and i was like ugh fine for like a year and then i deposed my regent after she made me the scapegoat of making the crown a higher authority#(which she wanted me to do but i did it since i revealed that she was the one who forced 😋 my hand)#and then i had to wrangle the faction that came about after we lifted the crown authority and i tried to murder the earl who started it but#then i tinkered with my perks and did a feast with him as the honorary guest and made me him love me 😁#and then all was right#but now i have to figure out my succession since my wife decided to only birth sons (we have like five)#tried to get my second eldest to take his vows (become apart of the clergy) but he was like lol no i’m too ambitious for that pops#actually my third eldest since my second eldest did take his vows but now he’s my archbishop!!! so i’m like you still have lots of power if#u want dude!!! but now i’m going to have my two youngest take their vows (hopefully) but if not my heir might have to do some fratricide or#the like 😞#i at first wanted to set out on forming the empire of brittania but we’ve gotten super rich and famous just as the kingdom of ireland#also every monarch of england is super vulnerable (i would know considering i’ve killed six of them in murder schemes including one who was#my lover 🙄 sorry sybilla i just thought you were not cool for flipping me off after i won our game of chess just like super uncool you know#but if anything happens i will set my sites on the kingdom of alba since the king i was friends with just died but alba is almost as chaotic#as england like i married off one of my daughters to the king but then he got deposed in a liberation war (which he asked me to join him in#i did but i didn’t do anything to help since i hate raising my military since it takes such a big toll on my economy)#and i bought my daughter and her husband back to my court in ireland and the new king of england started bitching at me because he knew i#had him in my court and i was like well damn that sucks for you but im not letting this dude go if i know i have this boon on you 😁#(boon being his claim to the kingdom of england and all those duchies etc)#anyway i love political intrigue and making money it’s fun#dianna.moon
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"omg we're so sad you were closed you can't do that again" "I wanted to come here last week why'd you close" "I can't believe you were closed all last week I needed pastry!" BITCH WE WERE ON VACATION!!!! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ANY OF US FEEL GUILTY FOR DARING TO TAKE TIME OFF JESUS CHRIST
#i hate customers so much sometimes!#like we have a VERY small staff if we staggered vacations we dont have anyone to cover for the main bakers for a whole week#so yeah! we close the shop so we can all take time off!#do people try and make YOU feel bad for taking a much needed break? Jesus Christ#i dont carrrreeee that you wanted baked goods for your fourth of july potluck i was in the fucking woods babe#ugh
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