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Explaining why I think the notion that “Jade did nothing wrong and if you hate her then you are a misogynist” is incorrect
Disclaimer: I don’t actually hate Jade, I find her compelling because she seems like the first true villain we might get in the game, and her kit looks really fun, so for that I can respect her. However, to say that she did nothing wrong, or that the people who dislike her are somehow in the wrong or are misogynists is very stupid, which is why I would like to clear up this misconception.
Let’s start with the “she did nothing wrong part” because that’s straight up not true.
‼️This post will contain leaks of Jade’s eidolons and lc, it will also contain mentions of slavery and sexual violence so be careful‼️
I think the scene Jade fans go to point to when trying to argue that she does nothing wrong is the one that depicts her conversation with Aventurine. They state that she “saved him” and that the notions of her being a slave owner/having ties to slavery is incorrect.
However, at the very least the first part of this assumption is wrong, as in no way shape or form did she “save” Aventurine.
1.Aventurine saved himself.
He is the one who set up the scheme to get the IPC’s attention, he is the one who killed his master, and he is the one who fought for his freedom. Attributing his hard work to Jade’s “benevolence” erases that, and it pretends as if she’s the one who did all the work, when in reality Aventurine wouldn’t have even had a chance if he didn’t bet on himself.
2.What she offers Aventurine isn’t much better than what his life was before.
In a sense, Jade just gave Aventurine golden chains, and if she was really interested in saving him, there wouldn’t be a trial, and she would just let him go. “But the scam” the IPC has an uncountable amount of money, they literally control the currency in the galaxy, and are working on taking over the whole universe, a scam ran by one person on one planet will not damage them for long. What Aventurine did really only matters because the IPC made it matter, and even if Jade doesn’t have complete control over all the goings on on the IPC, if she could make it so Aventurine could join them, there’s really no reason she couldn’t just let him free without any strings attached (which is what a normal person would do in this situation, because, well, empathy).
She knows how bad his situation was, as she remarked on how he killed his master, and the average person would struggle to find fault in his behavior at all, let alone have there even be a debate of whether she should let him live or not.
Like, imagine yourself as Jade for a second, and you are sent to judge this kid (we don’t actually know how old Aven was in that scene, but I’d wager he was a late teenager/young adult) who just escaped slavery but also scammed the organization you are a part of, the organization that is what caused him to be enslaved in the first place (I’ll get into it*). At the very least, if you are like me, you would have a very hard time getting mad at this kid because well who wouldn’t do what he did in his circumstances. That’s why Jade still focusing on her self interests disgusts me and likely disgusts a lot of people who saw this scene, it’s not some equal transaction of sorts, she quite literally has his life on her hands and is toying with it to suit her own ends.
Now, this situation is complicated, as Aventurine does actually want to join the IPC, but only because he believed that would be the best way he could try and save any remains of his people, the Avgin. We know this for two reasons a) the IPC took everything from him, and he has absolutely no reason why he would want to work for them if they can’t offer him anything b) the first thing Aventurine asks Jade when he becomes a Stoneheart is what happened to the rest of the Avgin, meaning that was likely his goal from the start, as even before becoming enslaved Aventurine had a ton of expectations of being the one to save the Avgin.
However, from Jade’s perspective, likely
she doesn’t know any of this (unless she can read minds who knows), all she does know is that she holds a position of power over a very brave and intelligent person who owes a debt to the IPC for their crimes against it, and will die if she doesn’t save them. Therefore, she takes advantage of Aventurine’s inferior position, offering him a job not out of the kindness of her heart, but because she see’s his moneymaking potential and knows he can’t decline her offer, since his options are IPC or death.
This is textbook exploitation, and it honestly disgusts me when people try and paint their relationship to be a mother/son one, when she so clearly views him as nothing more than a tool to achieve her own ends. As someone else puts it, Jade cares for Aventurine like one might care for a gun/weapon, ie she finds it useful and would like it to not get destroyed, but ultimately it’s just a tool that can be replaced.
Aventurine’s banner name is called “Gilded Imprisonment” for a reason, and Jade offers him nothing more than shiny new chains.
*sidenote: the IPC aren’t just the ones who broke their promise to help the Avgin, they are also likely the ones who enslaved Aventurine. This is because as Kakavasha, he referred to them as “the men in black/the men in black suits”, aka the IPC. Which is why when first enslaver says he bought him from “the men in black”, he’s also likely referring to the IPC, considering that the exact same phrase in used, in fact, he’s probably mocking the way Aventurine referred to them due to how specific it is. So yeah, I don’t know why people pretend Aventurine is over what the IPC did to him, or even like they saved him, bro probably wants to kill all of them and I fully support him in this endeavor.*
Speaking of treating him like a tool
3. Dehumanizing Aventurine
Her first words to him in this scene are pointing out his biggest insecurity.
“What pretty eyes. Tell me, do they shine in the dark?”
Out of context this might not be bad, but oh my god is it horrific in context. The Avgin’s eyes aren’t just a defining feature of theirs, but something they have been sexualized and abused for. Sparkle in her conversation with Aventurine implies that Sigonian’s use their attractive features (including their distinctive eyes) to get people to let down there guard and trick people, and in the same breath she also implies he did that to convince Sunday as well. Aventurine also hides his eyes with his tinted glasses because people automatically judge/discriminate against him for it, so Jade continuing that pattern is gross in my opinion.
Let’s also not forget that Aventurine is Romani coded, and a large proportion of both enslaved Roma in the past and free Roma have experienced sexual violence, as well as being treated as exotic and having other fetishized stereotypes attached to them. Calling his eyes pretty isn’t just some compliment, it’s also an extension of that, especially considering that it’s heavily implied that Aventurine did experience sexual violence when he was enslaved.
This is what makes Jade IMMEDIATELY going to talking about his eyes creepy as hell to me, and something I dislike her for.
However, I don’t think she meant it in a sexual manner, rather I think she was trying to get a reaction out of him, as well as demonstrate her position of power over him, which is just, ugh. Like I’m sorry to say this, but if Aventurine was a woman and Jade was a man, Jade would never be beating the p3do allegations for this comment. What do you mean the first words you say to someone involve taunting them for a feature they get sexualized and mistreated over, someone that is likely a minor or a very young adult, someone that you hold a very clear position of power over. At the very nicest this is insensitive as hell for her to do, but considering she did not at all apologize to his very obviously negative reaction makes me think it was deliberate targeting.
Also, the next part of that opening.
Yes, Jade is somewhat impressed by Aventurine, but objectively, this phrase doesn’t really come off that way, especially considering her tone in the scene. Seriously, rewatch it, it’s less of her being impressed, and more of her being surprised at him breaking the status quo, one which she doesn’t seem to view negatively. Also, keep in mind that in the CN (aka canon) version, the word is “slave” instead of servant, however I don’t know how the lines are delivered in CN, so she might sound kinder.
Regardless, having this neutral, almost detached perspective on slavery is very uncomfortable, at least to me. Because well, slavery is really bad (shocker), and you can’t really be neutral about these kinds of things. Commenting about how resisting his master would put Aventurine in danger in a clinical and detached manner gives the impression that Jade does not care about the existence of slavery in the slightest, and is perfectly happy with knowing it’s going on and doing nothing about it. Something which gets 10x worse considering the organization she works for is the one doing the slavery, which makes me wonder if she’s seen it before and been like “eh, it’s part of life” 😭
I’m aware dismantling an entire institution is difficult, but her sheer apathy rather than inaction is what I feel is wrong in this scene, as again, a normal person wouldn’t talk about slavery like this. They would probably phrase it like, “resisting your enslaver would put your life in danger, yet you did it anyways”, with none of that neutral tone in there, which kind to implies that Aventurine resisting the person who abuses him is in any way wrong or unusual for a person to do. Honestly I can understand a little bit why people don’t have problems with this line, as understand why people see it as just her doing her job as a judge. However, there’s something so disturbingly off with it that makes me really not like Jade for it, and hopefully I conveyed that well enough, if you have a better way of phrasing it please tell me.
Annnd this is why I say she doesn’t view him as a person. Jade literally tells Aventurine that his name, the remainder of his identity, the one part of his culture and his family and his life, quite literally the only thing he has left is destined to be buried and abandoned. She knows how much it means to him, and she wants him to cast it aside and pick a new identity, as the only thing Jade cares about is what value Aventurine can bring for the IPC.
Also, she does refer to him as “child” there, so yeah, he likely is a minor or at the very least they have a very significant age gap! Yay! Taking advantage of people significantly younger than you! And if he is somehow close to her age, then well, she views him like a child in comparison to her, which is dehumanizing. There’s really no winning with this one huh 😭
She also refers to him in the same way his old enslaver did!
Hound and dog are synonyms, so yeah, ew. Narratively, this is meant to be a parallel from Aventurine’s time enslaved to his time now, which demonstrates how nothing really changed, as Jade refers to him in the same way his old master/enslaver did.
4. However, that’s not all to be concerned about for Jade, at least in terms of morality, so let’s look at her eidolons.
Each one of her eidolons questions a good quality, let’s take E3 for an example.
“Honesty?” She questions why people, more specifically she would be sincere, and answers it with “Soon Mortgaged”.
Now in this context, her honesty is likely seen as being convienent in order to get a deal off, if meant as a noun. As a verb it’s used in a similar manner, with Jade only behaving honestly because it’s part of her duty as a debt collector/contract maker.
Either way, this pattern for her eidolons, of her questioning a good quality then providing a selfish reason for why she exhibits it sets up a vicious implication. It makes it seem like any an all seemingly kind, benevolent behavior from Jade is really just a means to further her goals, making her seem untrustworthy and selfish, like well, a snake, which is a motif prevalent throughout her design.
Her lightcone description also doesn’t make her seem much better.
Oh how lovely, giving a future to innocent children, I sure do hope this description doesn’t end badly!
“A philanthropist with a hidden agenda, a villain who mortgages souls… She was given various identities by the world, but only she understood the morality behind these actions.”
Jade what are you planning…
This tells us two things:
1) She engages in philanthropist behavior for reasons we don’t know of yet which is concerning because philanthropy is centered around helping people, why do you have ulterior motives for helping people. What are you planning with those children, Jade?
2)”A villain who mortgages souls” oh! Sure, these two identities were apparently given to her by the world, but like, mortgaging souls??? I’ll get into her biblical (specifically satanic) references next, but like, you need one hell of a good reason to justify buying and selling PEOPLES SOULS. Whatever hidden agenda Jade might have must be like unfathomably good to justify this, because well, this means she owns (or at least helps other people own) people. PEOPLE.
Jade fucking OWNS HUMAN BEINGS. Unless those people are like a dictator reincarnated or something there’s no good reason to justify owning the essence of someone’s being. It’s straight up evil and I’m glad the game calls her a villain for it.
5. Satan is that you???
The snake, her contract thing as her skill and in her splash art, her job being “Jade of Credit”, her relationship to withered fruit, and the apple in her splash art, the man at her feet in her splash art, her MORTGAGING SOULS. Look, I’m not a Christian, but like, these are all pretty blatant references to satan who’s, idk, the embodiment of evil. Sure, you could say she’s more like Eve, but she’s not being tricked by the snake, no, in fact, the snake works for her.
Now I don’t literally think Jade is meant to be the devil or something, but she sure as hell seems like she’s meant to be narratively like an agent of Satan/ a demon, which is fascinating. Interestingly, this also paints her interaction with Aventurine as a deal with the devil, which just makes it seem even worse than it already is.
Well, for now that’s all of Jade’s questionable behavior, and I feel confident enough in saying that at the very least she’s meant to be read as morally grey, so acting like she does no wrong is strange. However, it’s not a crime to like villains at all, and I feel like if Jade’s hardcore defenders just accepted that part of her character, everyone would be way happier, because people do have legitimate reasons to dislike her for the shit she has done, especially rroma people for how she treated Aventurine.
Not everyone has to like your favorite character, and downplaying and lying about her lore and character because you can’t handle that is annoying as hell and does the character you are defending in the first place a disservice. Jade being a bad person is what makes her interesting, and honestly the idea that women can’t be bad people is misogynistic as well, which is a nice way to transition to the other part of this post:
For the love of god people don’t dislike Jade because of misogyny. Please shut up and stop throwing words around that you clearly don’t understand, as you only end up diminishing actual misogyny.
I’ve already gone over the valid reasons why people dislike her, so let’s go over all the other stupid shit people bring up in trying to pretend like Jade hate is misogyny.
“But Boothill didn’t get complaints when he was randomly drip marketed, people complaining are only misogynistic Sunday fans!”
Jesus Christ.
Boothill has been leaked for several fucking months prior to his drip marketing, and people had been waiting diligently for when he would finally show up for a while, so obviously they were happy when he did.
He’s like, the most fanservice-y character (in a good way) ever. Boothill is a fucking long-haired cyborg space cowboy outlaw who physically cannot curse and has the cuntiest animations known to mankind, that’s like the most appealing combination of traits known to man. So appealing in fact, that people outside the fandom were making posts about him. Big shocker that the character designed to make everyone love him has everyone love him, act surprised
Jade’s only scene so far had been her one with Aventurine in 2.1, which as I mentioned prior, has problems. This also doesn’t help that she’s just as slimy in his character stories and their interaction in 2.2, which compared to again, the character designed to be as appealing as possible, isn’t a good look.
For the love of god Sunday fans have the right to complain. They have also been waiting MONTHS for him, so they would have been disappointed at any character that isn’t Sunday getting marketed, as that means they have to wait even more months for him. He’s highly anticipated, in comparison to Jade, whose had crumbs so far, so of course some people got upset (I didn’t see anything more than disappointment tbh)
People did complain about Boothill’s marketing! Like I know everyone clowned on them, but there were Firefly stans genuinely upset that he got marketed over her, and someone even started a “boycott Boothill’s banner” campaign 😭. It’s just the other reasons compounded why more people complained about Jade than they did about him.
I’m sure there’s some people out there who hate her because they hate women, but like, everyone? Really?
Genuinely, it is so tiring to see misogyny get thrown around like it doesn’t mean anything, and people complaining about misogyny where it doesn’t exist, and ignoring it where it does. Like I’m sorry SOME Jade stans, but yall cannot call this misogyny, then proceed to compare Jade to other female characters like Firefly, and call them flops and trash in comparison to her. THATS unnecessary hating on women for no reason, so don’t be a fucking hypocrite.
Also if a goddamn fictional character is the hill you die on for women’s rights issues, when there’s actual women being genocided right now, please reevaluate your priorities and support the women who actually need your help and assistance right now. Dogging on random Sunday fan #365 for being “misogynistic” because they said they wished he was marketed instead of Jade when there are women being murdered as we speak is dumb as hell. Like yes, these two problems can coexist, but for the love of god pixels are not as important as actual people, and if you really cared about women this would not be the one issue of misogyny you seem to talk about.
Well, this post was kinda a mess, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways! I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter, and personally I’m very interested to see where they go with Jade in 2.3. Please keep making her evil and don’t try to hit us with the sad backstory Hoyo, I’m fine if it’s meant to complicate her, but please don’t try and redeem her. Hopefully they go with the Dottore route, but considering they are planning on selling her, they might throw everything interesting down the drain for her which is sad. Let women be evil! And I hope you have a good day :)
#honkai star rail#hsr#We must pray she gets done justice#jade hsr#jade honkai star rail#aventurine#aventurine hsr#also the whip was um#The racists found it unfortunately#Prepare for the most tiring jokes ever when her banner drops#Ik people are already doing this but still#ARLAN AND AVENTURINE GET BEHIND ME#also please support the people in Gaza right now#They are the ones who really need peoples help right now#It’s so tiring seeing people complain about nonexistent misogyny towards pixels when they don’t even care about it irl#There are actual women who need your help rn and Jade is not one of them#Ugh anyways
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the way i wish winter guard was more widespread so it could be an olympic sport—
#vox artium taking the floor at the olympics??? avon??? malachi???? holy shit dude#why have world-class guards when the world is only the us??#this is actually me having a crisis over the fact that i’ll never be paid to do my sport professionally#only paid to coach#its not unfulfilling or unmotivating but it’s just disappointing#we have our own sport celebs but its not the same!!!#ugh anyways#color guard#winter guard
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sorry bc this is the biggest nothing burger ive ever posted but. like. im just. Staring. at how they interact in this one small moment.
#also side note cant tell if max is DONE with chloe’s shit or is just anxiously avoiding eye contact#i like either interpretation tbh LMFAO#it’s just such a small thing i think im mesmerized by it bc i just. straight up looked over it completely the first few times i saw it LOL#lis#life is strange#max caulfield#chloe price#posts i canNOT make on tiktok#i hate tiktok fandoms so much#ugh ANYWAYS#replaying this clip like my favorite song#i think it’s the fact that. it’s so much shit packed into one little moment.#1. chloe pokes fun at max. 2. they make eye contact. 3. max immediately looks away and tenses her shoulders#4. chloe drifts closer and max looks fully away to further try to keep free from eye contact#5. chloe purposefully moves around bc max literally looks like AWAY away. whole ass different direction. and chloe doesn’t question it or#physically force max to look at her— rather takes a step back- rotates around max- and seeks out eye contact while speaking in a softer tone#i think. chloe realized she was being bitchy and tried to fix it basically#i think?? idk i hate rhis scene (lying)
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I think the reason why TID’s found family aspect feels so intense to me is because most of the main characters really had NOTHING else in the world. Tessa was orphaned with a missing brother, Jem was orphaned, for most of the series Will might well have been an orphan, Jessamine was an orphan, Charlotte if I recall correctly was also an orphan. The London Institute was all they had. Hits hard when you think about it.
#tid#the infernal devices#like it’s actually so. sad#TLH had all these friend groups and familial support networks#TDA has this massive family and they’re friends with other shadowhunters#TMI clary has a mom and luke and simon at the outset#jace is with the lightwoods#but in TID most of them don’t have any family in the world outside the london institute#like no wonder jem and will were so close for five years!#the victorian setting makes it feel sadder too#ugh anyways#will herondale#jem carstairs#tessa gray#like jem might have an uncle but he’s in like idris or somewhere#will bec of you know can’t talk to his family#and tessa’s brother obviously just sucks#charlotte branwell
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my pov of dream getting emotional during uieud, the crowd singing for him and him hiding his face in his arm like FUCK
#dreamwastaken#la droncerts#la droncert night 2#the whole show had such different vibes from the other two i want to#and it was so perfect#like he told us during ult mng that he was more intimidated by the smaller crowd#and you could tell i think in the way he let himself be more experimental kind of as a way to overcome the anxiety#like#especially with invincible stripped version i feel like people are t talking about#it was sosososososo good#ugh anyways#i could talk about this experiment for everrr#and maybe i will#:]
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morales twins vigilantes: getting found out pt 2
okayyyy this part's a slight bit longer but hopefully, uh, worth it lol
kinda made myself tear up a lil at the end ahahaha
also pls don't ask when this takes place, like either in between istv and atsv or atsv and btsv.... idk bro LMFAO this is technically a whole other au in and of itself soooo yuh
disclaimer: i'm a whole ass anarchist, however miles and milo are two teenage boys who've grown up with a cop dad and they play a lil lip service to the police force during their big speech so... yeah i don't support the existence of the police force, but it is what it is. characters don't reflect author's beliefs and all that
>1st part here<
Jeff happened to be lucky enough to be pardoned for the rest of the night, and he also opted to use some PTO on this very very important occasion, so he sped off in the squad car with his sons in the back immediately after visiting the police department and signing off on some papers. He did not utter a word until they all got back home safely.
In the car, it was eerily silent as Jeff fumed in the front. Miles practiced what he was going to say over and over in his head, picking at his suit and avoiding his twin brother’s eyes. Milo held what remained of his mask in his hands, gauntlets off and tucked between his feet on the floor of the car. They both hung their heads low, counting down the minutes until they got back home and had to face their inevitable death sentence.
They were in so much trouble. Yikes. This was exactly what Miles dreaded for so damn long now, and it almost felt like a dream the way it happened so quickly.
Back home, both boys were sat down in the dining room area behind the couch, waiting for their mother to come back from her night shift. Milo was given an ice pack for his head and some painkillers, and then they were both sternly ordered to take off their respective suits.
Miles turned inquisitive eyes towards his dad.
“If your mom comes in and sees you two wearing those outfits right after work, that woman will have a heart attack and faint. Take ‘em off,” was Jeff’s sharp explanation.
They were not gonna argue with that. To the bedroom they both went.
“And then you both come right back out the second you change, got it?”
“Yeah dad, got it,” was Miles’ unenthused mumble before closing the door.
Miles turned back around with his mask in his hands, and immediately threw it at Milo.
“What were you thinking?!?!” he hissed, arms flying up into the air, making grabbing motions at his twin brother’s neck. “You absolute idiot, my god, we are so. Freaking. Dead!!”
Milo ducked back, scowling. “Me?!” he hissed back, keeping his voice at a harsh whisper as well. “What did you want me to do, pendejo, just let our dad fry, just like that? I didn’t see you moving to stop the guy!”
They were both snapping at each other, hands flying everywhere as they argued in harsh tones and whispers. They only stopped when they heard a loud knock on the door.
“Don’t take all night, either,” came their father’s booming voice from behind the wood.
Miles hung his head. Milo rolled his eyes and moved towards the closet, ripping his jacket off and kicking off his shoes. “Yes dad,” they both intoned at the same time.
A few glares were exchanged as clothes were tossed onto the floor, and Miles sighed loudly as he pulled on a pair of pajama pants, throwing himself onto his bed to get them up his legs all at once. He glanced at his bedside alarm clock, knowing his mom would be home any minute now. He felt his heart beat in his chest much louder and faster than usual.
Milo pulled on a hoodie over his head, gingerly easing the fabric over his bruised chest.
“Did the blast hit your chest too, man?” Miles asked quietly, eyes playing over the mess of a bruise over slightly-scarred skin, wincing a bit.
Milo exhaled sharply. “Shuddup.”
Miles frowned. “You have to let mom know about that soon. Don’t ‘shuddup’ me.”
“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”
Miles knew his brother was sulking, but that really looked… bad. If he was responsible for not only dragging his brother into vigilantism, but also putting him in the hospital as well, he had no idea how he was getting out of this one alive. He was probably never going to see the light of day until college. Maybe not even then.
Once ready, both boys stood side-by-side in front of the door, hesitating. They both glanced at each other, then back at the door.
This was it, they both thought. The moment of truth. This was the night where it was all gonna go down, and their painstakingly-kept secret would finally be revealed to their parents. D-day. My god. He didn’t even know if the speech he prepared in the car on the way home was even gonna suffice against their mother’s explosive anger. She was gonna have a cow the second Jeff told her. Damnit.
Guess I can kiss the whole Spider-man thing goodbye, Miles thought, the very idea leaving a very heavy weight in his chest that he just couldn’t ignore. He leaned forward to turn the knob and swing open the door. With one last glance back at his brother, he stepped out. Then his brother followed him slowly, ice pack pressed to the side of his head again.
It was like a funeral procession the way they marched solemnly back to their chairs placed side-by-side by the table. Jeff leaned on the doorway to the hallway with his arms crossed sternly over his chest, still in his police uniform, hat already hung up.
As if on cue, Rio’s keys jangled against the door, and she stepped inside once the lock clicked open. Her slightly tired expression changed in an instant once she hung up her bag and walked into the apartment.
“Hello boys, I’m home!” She announced, a bit surprised. Not only were her husband and two sons all home at the same time, but they were all hanging around to watch her come home after work at such a late hour. Granted, it was summertime and the weekend, but still. Weird.
Jeff had texted her that something important came up and that she needed to be home ASAP, but didn’t elaborate further. She didn’t know what to expect when she got back. She crossed her fingers and hoped that it wasn’t that bad, if her husband texted her instead of calling. If it was an emergency, surely he would’ve called.
Right?
Her eyes widened once she saw the ice pack Milo held against his head, and quickly made her way over to him.
“Qué pasó?” She kneeled next to her boy, checking him over quickly.
Milo winced and tried to dodge his mother’s hands, holding a protective arm over his chest that no one missed. “Ma, stop. I’m fine, seriously. It’s… it’s fine.”
“Is it? What is going on, why is everyone so… so sad right now, and what are you two doing sitting here like this? Jeff…?” She turned to face her husband but he was already making his way back to the boys’ bedroom, scooping up their respective vigilante costumes and heading back out with the incriminating evidence in both hands.
Once he got back to the table, he tossed them onto the surface and crossed his arms again.
For a second, no one moved. The whole world held its breath for one precious moment.
Then, with deadly calm in her tone, Rio slowly stood up and placed her hands on her hips. “...What are those things?”
Both boys braced for impact.
“Well?”
Miles swallowed hard, hands gripped together tightly. “Uhm. They’re. They’re… our outfits. Y’know… for fighting crime.”
Rio gaped at her sons.
“He’s Spider-man, mom. Miles is Spider-man,” Milo clarified solemnly. His chin was at his chest now, avoiding eye contact with his mother.
“...And you’re the Prowler.” Rio finished.
She took a step back and exhaled, running her hands through her hair and rubbing her face. “Oh… oh my god. Dios mió, me voy a morir. I knew it, but still... me voy a morir!” ¹
Finally, Jeff spoke up behind her. “They’re not Halloween costumes, either. Guess where I found ‘em tonight?”
With tears in her eyes, Rio looked back at her husband, a pleading look on her face. “Don’t tell me,” she begged. But Jeff continued anyways.
“I took tonight’s shift on as a bit of extra, and when I was called to take care of an electric freak close to downtown, I found these two at the scene already.”
Finally, Rio exploded. “What?!?”
The twins flinched.
Jeff exhaled and pressed on, licking his lips. “Yeah, and not only that, but Milo here took on a direct blast of electricity to the face. He jumped in front of me and put himself in harm’s way!”
Scandalized, Milo leaped up from his seat, wincing only a little bit. “Wait a minute, I did it to protect you! That’s my job!”
The anger fizzled out immediately once both parents swung their withering glares around back to him, rage hot enough to almost burn two holes into his skull. Miles pulled Milo’s hoodie sleeve and quietly hissed, “stop making it worse!”
Milo clammed up and quickly sat back down, pouting.
“Your job?” Rio shot back incredulously, laughing angrily.
“That is not your job, Milo! That is mine! My job! I wear this badge every single day so that I can protect the people of Brooklyn. You are a kid with homework and chores to do, not fighting dangerous bad guys on the streets like some kinda—” Jeff worked himself up but then stopped, as if he suddenly ran out of steam. He placed his hands over his head, clearly stressed, and exhaled loudly.
“How long?” Rio’s tone was sharp.
They were definitely not getting out of this alive. Damn. Rest in power, Morales twins.
Miles shuffled his feet, hesitating. “Uhm—”
“Speak up, Miles. How long have you two been running around behind our backs and lying to us like this? Huh?”
Miles sighed. “I, uhm. We’ve been doing this… for a while now.”
“A while?”
“…A -a year.”
“A YEAR?!”
“I mean I’unno about Miles, but I’ve only been doin’ this for like a couple months, so…” Milo mumbled half-heartedly beside his brother. That comment earned him another set of glares, including one from Miles.
“A year. A year! A year, that’s how long you’ve been lying to us?” Jeff was pacing now, clearly stressed out. He was mumbling things under his breath that both boys would rather not know anything about.
Miles jumped up from his seat, seizing the opportunity when he could. “Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait, guys. Mom, dad. Listen to me, please,” he begged, hands splayed out in front of him.
He took a breath. He opened his mouth.
“Until college.” Rio interrupted, holding a finger up. “Both of you. Grounded! Until college! You will both be adults before you ever go out without my permission ever again!”
Miles deflated. “O-kay but mom, please! Hear me out first!”
Rio held a hand up. “I don’t wanna hear it! I cannot believe that both of my sons would lie to me like this! For an entire year, no less! Dios, dame paciencia, coño!” ² She shook her head as she held her face in her hands. “Do you two know what you’re doing to me? Look at me, I’m getting grey hairs as we speak!”
Jeff immediately took her side. “Do you realize what you’re doing to your mother? You’re killing her! And you--” he rounded on Milo all of a sudden, jolting the poor boy into sitting up straight. “You are killing me! You’re going around wearing those godforsaken gloves around, punching bad guys just cuz you wanna feel like a big man, huh? Do you know what that does to me?!”
Milo visibly prickled up, hunching in on himself. “I’m not doing it for me,” he bit out angrily.
“Then for who, huh?”
“I wanted to save the little guys on the street... when the cops couldn’t. I wanted to help Miles.” Milo sounded tired, and for a split second he looked much older beyond his years. Both of his parents softened for only a fraction of a second before Jeff rubbed his eyes and turned back to Miles.
"And who made you Spider-man all of a sudden? What happened a year ago? Tell me the truth. I don't want any detail left out!"
Ah, interrogation mode already, Miles thought humorlessly.
He sighed and dutifully got started on the whole backstory, careful to leave out the fact that he was with Aaron the moment he got shot, skipping to the part where he "found" his uncle's nearly lifeless body in that alleyway that fateful day. It was a harmless enough lie… Miles presumed. Right?
"Did you… then... h-how did you see who shot Aaron, Miles? Were you there?" Jeff asked quietly, also looking as tired as Milo did. Miles paused, not expecting the question.
Rio shot him a look. "Jeff, mi amor, please. Now is really not the time." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Right now, we have to talk about this... this... situation we have going on here. What's next?"
Miles shrugged, palms facing forward as if to say and the rest is history. "I'm... pretty sure you guys know the rest. Dad... you were uh, there. At the collider. I stopped Kingpin and then I just. Well, yeah. Y'all have already watched all of the news stories and the videos. So," he finished lamely.
Then, a surge of confidence as he looked at the concerned expressions dawning on his parents' faces. It's now or never.
"...B-but I love being Spider-man! Dad, you've seen me out there, the way I fight, the fact that you guys have less to deal with cuz I'm out there kicking ass!"
Oops. Wrong words.
Miles' confidence deflated as soon as those concerned and sympathetic looks turned into ones of anger.
"Kicking ass?! More like getting your ass kicked, little boy! How many NewTube videos are out there of you getting crushed by cars," Jeff started to count off of his fingers, "hit by buses, tossed in the air, punched and flung halfway across the block--"
"Jeff, please!" Rio cried, wobbling a bit. She pulled out the chair closest to her from the table and slumped down into it, rubbing at her temples.
"S-sorry, hon..." Jeff placed an apologetic hand on his wife's shoulder.
Rio sighed deeply.
"I get it. I know. But dad..." Miles steeled himself this time. "When you put on that badge every single day and you go out into those streets to protect the city, you think you're never gonna get shot at? Jumped? It is literally your responsibility to put yourself in the way of danger so no one else has to." He turns to the table and grabs his mask.
"For me," Miles continues, "this is my badge. Okay? I put this on every single day and swing out into the streets so people can shoot at me, or ask me for directions, or wait for me to get weird guys in stupid costumes away from the train tracks. I do this every single day, because if I don't, who will? Peter is dead--" ...wow, that feels weird to say.
"Miles..." Rio's big brown eyes gaze sadly at her boy, standing tall with this awful mask in his hand. A mask that she desperately wished wasn't his.
"Mom. Peter is dead. He is. Okay? If I don't step up and take his place, knowing what I can do? Then I might as well not even be alive at all." He tosses his mask dramatically back onto the table to punctuate his point. "I can shoot webs from my wrists and I have strength like y'all wouldn't believe. I can stick to walls and do everything that Peter Parker was able to do before he passed away. If I just sit here doing nothing with these abilities while everyone struggles to live their lives every single day, letting bad guys with superpowers do whatever they want, then what's the point of anything? The exact same reason why I put on this suit to go fight crime is the exact same reason why you do, dad." Miles turns to his father now. "You have your suit, I have mine."
Milo jumps in, enthused. "And the reason why I put on my mask is because of him. And the civilians, too... of course. But it's not because I 'wanna feel like a big man', dad. It's because it drives me crazy seeing my own brother taking on all of this responsibility on his shoulders all by himself. Miles is gonna do crazy things now that he got bit by a super-spider, right? We literally cannot stop him, even if we tried. Trust me. Might as well go along with him and support him so he doesn't get himself killed out there. That's why I do this. Every single day."
Jeff opens his mouth to say something, but is then cut off by Rio's own small, sad voice. "... Why does it have to be you two?" She asks quietly.
She looks so small sitting there on their wooden dining room chair, and a million times more tired than when she came in through the door. She wasn't even out of her own nurse's uniform yet, either. Miles felt a pang of sympathy for her.
Miles... did not know the answer to her question either. He really didn't. Why was it him-- out of all of the people in Brooklyn-- that got bit by that spider? Clearly, the universe had a grand, elaborate joke planned for him. That was really probably the only explanation for it all. But, no. No, there had to be something else in the cards for Miles. After all, he was bitten by the spider while out with his uncle who was secretly the Prowler, and he was present for not only Peter Parker's death, but that same uncle as well.
He squared his shoulders. And then told the truth.
"I... don't know," he admitted. "But... I do know this. Growing up, I always knew Spider-man was there to answer the call no matter what. He didn't pick this life of battling bad guys that wanna tear the city up all the time, a spider bit him, too. But he made me promise something before he died, and I have to live up to that promise. What else am I gonna do when I'm able to pick up cars with my bare hands?"
Granted, it was only a promise to stop the collider from opening a black hole inside of the city they lived in, but. Details. Anyways...
Rio hid her face in her hands again.
Miles softened his tone, sitting down. "This is something I worked really, really hard for and it's important to me. Milo... is kinda right. You can ground me. Until college. Or whenever. But as long as I've got these powers," he held his hands open, propping his elbows on his knees and meeting his mom's eyes, "and there's people out there that need saving? I gotta do what I gotta do, mami."
Milo leaned forward, too. "Yeah. Same here. He's not alone. The same reason we do this stuff is cuz... ever since we were little, we also watched you guys answer the call, no matter what. I never met Spider-man, before... y'know, but it doesn't matter. We do this for New York City."
Neither of their parents spoke for a bit, digesting all of this information in solemn silence. The anger from earlier all but melted away as they ruminated over all of this. All this time, their little boy was running around in a spandex costume, swinging around, punching bad guys and lifting fallen buildings off of people. There was... a hint of pride underneath all of the fear and anger and betrayal and anxiety, even Rio couldn't lie.
But god, how would things ever be the same again after knowing that the very hero who swung from building to building and knocked villains down before webbing them up was the very same boy with the brightest brown eyes they've ever seen; the boy who brought home A's on his test like he won a medal, the same boy who sang horribly off-key while doodling all over his sketchbook, who refused to tie his shoelaces and drove Jeff up the wall when he found graffiti and stickers all around the city in Miles' name? It was impossible... Rio's heart broke into two pieces.
And Milo... a tougher counterpart to her little ray of sunshine, but just as sweet. The same boy who would feed stray cats on the block, beam like a ray of light after winning a boxing match against a tough opponent, who would hide behind Rio at parties and join her happily to watch the latest episode of the new telenovela they both got hooked on... that same boy was wearing those gloves, swinging around the city looking like a bad guy himself. Rio's shattered heart gained another huge crack before finally breaking into three pieces.
Finally, she sighed again.
"You have superpowers?" She asked, hesitantly.
"... I... yeah, I do." Miles answered, fearing that this was a trick question.
Rio nodded sadly. "Of course. Of course..."
Jeff spoke up, now kneeling beside his wife, caressing her hand clasped in between both of his. "Just because you have superpowers, doesn't mean you're invincible. Miles, we do this because we care about you. Maybe we won't be able to stop either of you from putting yourself in harm's way... I mean, hell, nobody can stop me. But... god, isn't there any other way?"
Miles raised a brow. "Any other way to...?"
Jeff blew out a breath. "I-I dunno, can't you use your super strength to... well, maybe help the transportation department move some tracks around, build some new stations... that'd help the city. Swing around and deliver medicine to people for free? God, I don't know. I just don't want either of you to jump in front of bullets for other people... man..." he shook his head.
Miles and Milo exchanged glances. "I... I know it's tough to accept this," Miles started, unsure of what to say. "Maybe I can scale back the dangerous stuff some but... I... can't just stand around directing traffic when someone's getting mugged. Or a bank is getting robbed. Dad, I just can't. Maybe you guys will hate it every time I put the suit on and swing outside but... I can't give this up now. I'm sorry." He dipped his head apologetically.
Another long stretch of silence.
A clock ticks on the wall in the kitchen, and the ice maker in the fridge starts humming again. It's all so painfully domestic, painfully ordinary, it's almost an insult to the people living in this apartment facing these serious revelations all at the same time. It sure is a sharp contrast to the solemn mood settling all over everyone right now.
Rio looks deeply into Miles' eyes, then Milo's. After a while, she turns to face Jeff. "Jeff. You will not like what I'm about to say."
Jeff returns her look with one of confusion. "Honey..."
Rio shrugs, a small gesture but one that makes Miles and Milo's hearts skip a beat. "Mi vida, these are our boys. They have... this big responsibility now, to the people here in this city. Just like you. Just like me," she swallows and continues. "You and me? We've seen what Miles is capable of. Well, the both of them. And as much as it hurts, it would probably hurt even more if we kept them both back from being the heroes they need to be. What we need to do now is... we need to support them. We love them. They need us. We need them! Qué más puedo decir?" ³
Jeff looked deeply into his wife's eyes and then inhaled deeply. Not quite a sigh. That was maybe a good sign?
He stands up.
"...Boys."
The twins took their cue. They both stood up, too. Milo quickly discards his ice pack on his chair. Rio joins them, leaning on Jeff for support.
"When police officers get sworn in, they usually just have to do paperwork nowadays. Not too much of the whole bells and whistles due to high turnover rates, but tonight... if either of you want to continue to fight crime in this city, you both have to put your right hand up. Right now."
Miles could cry. Milo bit his lip to try and hide his grin, and they both dutifully raised their right hands at the same time. Jeff does the same, and reaches his left hand out to take Miles'. Rio takes Milo's.
"Pretend we are the Bible. Not paperwork. The Bible."
Both boys nod with all the seriousness they could manage, looking their father in the eyes.
"Do you solemnly swear on your mother and father's life that you will uphold the law and do right by the citizens of Brooklyn, New York, so help you God?"
"I mean... the law law? Cuz sometimes we--" Milo started, immediately earning an elbow to the side. He shut up.
"Yes, the law. I will not be having the DA of New York City up in my home lookin' for you two in case anyone gets badly hurt. I don't want him in my office, either." Jeff gives them both a look.
Miles pipes up. "Yes, we swear, so help us God."
"Milo?"
Milo nods emphatically. "Yes, I swear, so help me God."
Jeff nods once.
"Mijos. You will both be allowed to go and fight crime outside, con mi bendiciones. But. But... you will both also do it under two conditions. If either of you break my rules, you will have wished that spider never bit you," Rio glared at Miles. Then to Milo, "and you will have wished you never stole your uncle's gloves from his apartment. Got it?"
Both boys nodded, still holding onto their parents' hands.
"So, my two rules are this. Only two. Easy to remember, okay? Number one. Milo, you will take care of your brother as best as you can. Miles, you will take care of Milo as best as you can. Both of you will always be seen together when going out and doing hero things, do you understand?"
"Yes, mamí" the boys say simultaneously.
"Never, ever go out alone, ever. Neither of you will be alone for even a second, especially during the nighttime. Promise me this."
Miles puts his right hand down to take his mother's other hand in his. "Yes, mom. I promise. We both promise."
Rio bows her head. "...And as for my second rule."
"Do we have to have a curfew?" Milo asks quietly. Everyone shoots him a look again.
"No, no curfew." Before the boys could get excited, she quickly adds, "except for on school nights." They both calm back down.
"Your education is always, always more important. Don't forget this," she lets go of their hands to hold up a finger. "But as for my second rule? No more secrets between us. All of us. Okay? You tell me exactly when it is you leave to go and do what you need to do, and exactly when you come back. Promise me this, too."
This time, it was Miles' turn to start saying something dumb. "I meaann, like every single time? Cuz sometimes it's not really a one-and-done kinda thing, like a shift or--"
Everyone glares at Miles. Miles promptly shuts up.
"...Sí, mamí. Te prometemos todo eso." ⁴ Milo answers seriously.
Rio sucks in a breath. "Okay. Okay..."
She looks as if she's about to burst into tears, so everyone draws in tightly for a group hug. Rio sniffles against Milo's shoulder and Jeff leans his chin on Mile's head. Miles laughs wetly.
"Geez, y'all are crying? Man, for what? Ain't nobody dying or anything..." Milo interjects suddenly, causing the whole mood to dissipate all at once. Everyone laughs incredulously.
"Boy, if you don't know how to read a room..." Jeff starts, a warning tone laced into his playful grin.
"Man, I was just trying to lighten the mood! Damn, I mean shouldn't we be celebrating? Miles literally has super strength, you guys. Like c'mon, right? That is literally the coolest thing in the whole world!"
Rio groans, tossing her head back. "Mira esté, 'coolest thing in the whole world'... déjame agarrarte, maldito cabron..." ⁵ she mutters sarcastically, moving to grab at Milo's neck in the exact same way Miles did not even an hour earlier. He playfully dodged out of the way, putting his arms up to block, out of habit.
"Cabron?! Mom, you're so mean!" Milo complained.
"C'mere!"
Jeff leans in and interrupts their banter. "Milo. Son. You have to sit with me on the couch now, cuz we have to have a little chat about how you got your hands on those gloves, actually..." He grabs at one of Milo's arms, his smile just a tad bit too wide. Milo gulps.
Jeff continues, steering them both away from Miles and Rio. "And we also have to talk a bit about the history behind those things, too..."
Rio turns to Miles and cups his cheeks in her hands, looking into his eyes. "Do you actually, actually swear to me that you will try your hardest to stay safe?"
"Yes, mom, I do! We said it like a hundred times."
"Your father was right. Just because you have super strength now--"
"And super-healing."
Rio stares at him for a beat.
Miles squirms nervously. "...What? I do!"
"Super-healing, sure. Uh huh. If I catch you with bullet holes inside of you, I am not taking you to the ER then, Mr. Invincible."
"Ouch. Harsh."
"I warned you! I'm smiling like I'm joking but I'm really not!"
"Okay, okay, geez. C'mon, ma. It's really not that big of a deal. I don't get shot at as much as you'd think! Seriously! I'm fast. And... and I've been doing this for a while now. You have to trust me, okay?"
Rio sobered up. "I know. I know. I just... mi amor, I am your mother. I worry about you. You know... I've been taking care of my two little boys for so many years now. I just... I care about the both of you even when you two drive me completamente loca! I trust that you can both handle yourselves, I really do. It's just hard. It is. I-it'll... take some time to get used to."
Miles nodded. "Growing up is tough. I get it."
Rio smacked him on the shoulder.
"Ow! What, it's true! We're all growing up right now, I'm not a little kid anymore and... and you're not the mom of two little kids now. It's just... it's a transitional period! Life's tough!" Miles shrugs, smiling warmly.
Rio smirked, crossing her arms. "Uh huh. It sure is."
Then, she opened her arms for another hug from Miles, which he happily returned.
"I mean it, Miles. Whatever happens, I want you to keep yourselves safe. And ask for help. Papí, your father is a police officer. And whatever you need, whatever you need... I'm here, too."
Miles beamed at his mother with tears in his eyes.
"I know, mom. Thank you."
☆ translations:
¹ "my god, i'm going to die."
² "god, grant me patience, fuck!"
³ "what more can i say?"
⁴ "yes, mom. we promise you all of that."
⁵ "Lookit this guy, 'coolest thing in the whole world'... lemme get my hands on you, fucking bastard..."
#mine#miles morales#miles g morales#spiderverse#i'm getting soft..... deadass tearing up at the end while writing and editing GOD how embarassing#ugh anyways#hope all that wasn't like ooc or anything#i know miles will eventually have to reveal his identity in btsv so i'm not even going to attempt to imagine that#but writing TWO hero identities getting revealed was actually more fun than i imagined#also did yall like the movie lines i slipped in there? ahaha#yes i HAD to make miles' speech mirror gwen's cuz... well yeah#they're both spiderpeople and so they obvi mirror each other in a lot of ways#esp cuz they both have/had cop dads#so anyways hope yall enjoyed this one :)#will i write more after this? who knows#i MAY have more hc posts up my sleeve for the future but We Shall See#oh yeah also the aesthetic pics used as dividers in both posts are not mine ofc#i mostly found them trawling thru pinterest and tumblr 🤙#thx 4 reading ♡
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genuinely believe laslow and nyx’s support conversation, regardless if you get their S or stop at A, is among both of their most important conversations they have because it allows them a rare moment of vulnerability. while they have a lot of good conversations, a lot of them have both laslow and nyx taking the part of either comic relief or as the listener/observer which is very fitting for both of them! but then they never get to delve into their perspectives and thoughts on some of their more vulnerable traits the way that they do with eachother.
with laslow he never really talks about awakening he references it but its never the topic. his words and actions are obviously influenced by it but you very rarely get to him be this introspective. hes very observant with his support partners but this and his odin support are the only time where hes forced to confont himself. sometimes he'll be sad and melancholy but he never discusses WHY. if youre lucky, he might mention he had a mom at some point and thats about it!! knowing inigo, we as players know why hes like that. he was pigeonholed into the role of keeping morale up, he lost one of the gemstones needed to perform the awakening in the bad timeline, ditched that world (which. his feelings on really only get discussed with nyx!!! which is insane?!?!), then had to start killing real people in order to survive until he met up with the shepherds again! but he never talks about it! i can count one hand the amount of times in both awakening and fates he does and i still have fingers left!!
and then with nyx its similar because while she does discuss her past its mostly just for explanation and not to delve deeper into it. which, makes sense as shes probably not too into trauma dumping on a bunch of strangers but then shes never forced to see that part of herself in someone else and do some reflecting on her own. heroes obviously came out way after fates but they kinda confirm that nyx's curse in part due to herself: its a self punishment that shes not conscious of but its driven by her not being able to forgive herself WHICH IS SO COOL but. you know. fates dropping the ball with writing. used to it. but while yes, that curse did come as kind of like some magical divine karma, she has already attoned for it: she’s grown up, matured, and taken the time to change that selfish part of herself that only valued power and nothing else. the only thing holding her back from moving on is herself.
so, laslow and nyx to having that moment in their supports where they both admit their guilt and let themselves be judged by eachother kinda breaks them out of this cycle of self hate theyre on and it gets them both on the path to forgiving themselves which they never really accomplish anywhere else. some supports teeter on it, but they brush it off pretty quickly. in a weird way they kind of mirror eachother, but they’re not used to looking at a reflection thats not so distorted by their own beliefs. they admit to eachother that no matter what happened in the past, they’ll never see eachother as anything less than a trusted ally and friend, and if they can do it for eachother, maybe one day they can do it for themselves.
and if they hit the s support, you can already see the change. laslow spouts the absolute banger of a line:
Laslow: Well, much as I might want to, I can't bear your burden. Nor could I expect you to bear mine. But with burdens so heavy...don't you think we could lean on each other a bit?
and its just such a fitting conclusion to the story of two people learning how to love themselves and walking that path of forgiveness together. anyways so im really normal about them
#ann plays fates#laslow and nyx fire emblem you will always be famous#had to shove it all under a readmore i dont really like when my textposts get too long#but theyre just sooo important to me#and it is a shame most people never read their conversation#i totally get why like dont get me wrong#theyre both on the lower side of unit viability in fates to put it nicely#in conquest theyre decently viable but theyre fighting with more efficient units for deployment slots#and on the off chance you field BOTH of them you probably wouldnt waste their pairup bonuses on eachother#given they have completely oppposite statlines#and then in rev theyre both just bad. like theres no other way i can say it they just are terrible 😭#the only reason i ever read their support was bc i had to for a challenge run#glad i did tho bc. WOW. wrecked me actually#whatever. comfort rarepair forever#i also think it is both really funny and really sweet if two of the saddest units in the army get the happiest daughter in the world#literally named her after the sun bc she is the brightest spot in their lives yes?? you see????#ugh anyways
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today is a special day, a happy day, a smiley day, if you will.
⋆ happy fucking birthday, james hetfield ⋆
sure, this is a cheesy post but it’s a special man’s birthday so >:)
#ugh his smile#happy birthday to this man#i know everyone shares this sentiment but#the things i would do for him on this day#are wildly concerning to feminism#and there’s nothing else i can say about that#ugh anyways#happy fuckin birthday#<3#james hetfield#metallica
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the Arisen through 2 cycles 🔁
#dd2#i had so many screenshots but the Xbox didn't save while it was offline#there's a whole lore behind her hair and eyes changing color from cycle > unmoored > cycle#but somehow the screenshots didn't save locally and i don't have them to go along with it :(#ugh anyways#casper communicates#im having so much fun playing dress up in the dragon game
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in conversations between me and myself. death often comes up
#oc: tss#mine.png#tws ->#death#suicide#death tw#suicide tw#it isn't really suicide but i understand it might come off like that so tagging just in case#i am not mentally well! not in this way though#i just draw her often when i don't feel alright because songs is a comfort character#even if the comfort is putting her in same general feelings as myself#vent art#I GUESS. i forgot#ugh anyways#rot sucks
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how do they ruin the monza kits every. fucking. year.
#cece chats#like you gave us all black BUT AT WHAT COST#WHY IS THERE A YELLOW PATCH#WHY IS HP LOGO RIGHT THERE#ugh anyways
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hm mitäköhän asialle vois tehdä. hm. mikäköhän auttaisi tilanteeseen
#emmä tiiä bro#en mä oo tarpeeks fiksu tähän enkä mitään mut. ok#“meillä ei oo vuokralaisia meijän asunnot istuu vaa tyhjinä ja me otetaan miljoonia euroja tappioissa. hm mä tiiän#KOROTETAAN vuokria!! :D loistavaa“#ugh anyways#suomi#suomipaskaa#suomitumblr#suomi tumppu#suomiperkele#suomipostaus
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Mr Darcy levels of pining happening over here. category ten longing event. oh what happened? a guy breathed or something equally mundane you know how it is
#COPE!!!! COPE MARX COPE HARDER HE’S JUST STANDING THERE!!!!!!#just a doodle between October writing#I’m already behind. Sad!#I JUST WRITE TOO MUCH I GOTTA KEEP IT SHORT#ugh anyways#my art#marx#Yugana#my lil guys…#guh
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It sucks so much when I want to look up something about the medication I take for my adhd and then it gives me a bunch of articles on how that medication works for people who don't have adhd. Like. I know neurotypical people often take that medication to be more productive but like. I Have Adhd! I want to know what it does to My brain. Not what it does to the brain of a person who should not be taking that medication.
#this is so frustrating#because i adhd medication is not good for people who don't have adhd#and then i look something up and get fucking scared by some stupid headline and when i click on the link it's about adhd meds taken by#people who don't have adhd!!#like i'm sorry but i don't care!!!#and i know this is just a small part of google giving you literally Not the answers you want but still#it's the same as looking up how to deal with executive dysfunction and all you get is 'how to help your child with adhd do their homework'#like No#i'm asking for me#a 19 year old grown up person#not my child#i don't have a child#I have the adhd!!#ugh anyways#lea's random thoughts#adhd
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tiktok keeps giving me videos of people who have absolutely terrifying health problems that progressed bc they weren’t believed by doctors and it’s making me so scared about my own weird health issues right now like i know im probably not dying but oh my god what if i am????
#personal#health mention#i’m just a v health anxious person and everything going on with my body has been fucking scaring me so bad#bc nobody knows what’s wrong#and just keeps passing the buck on to some new specialist#and no one will examine me holistically#it’s all been v piecemeal#and i hate it#ugh anyways
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look i know shes only in one entry but amy is so important to me and horrifically overlooked imo. especially if ur an alex fan. they were really in love and alex misses her in his freaky little way (the photo). jessica was her best friend, and apparently had some dormant memories/feelings about her. she blames herself (and alex might blame himself too) for amy's death. she was lovely and cared for and forgotten.
#bro ive seen mfs talk about seth more 💀#no seth hate but hes boring sorry#sarah is sort of just There but shes cool and i like what little of her personality we see#ugh anyways#justice for the women of marble hornets
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