#glad i did tho bc. WOW. wrecked me actually

[sieglinde-freud]

genuinely believe laslow and nyx’s support conversation, regardless if you get their S or stop at A, is among both of their most important conversations they have because it allows them a rare moment of vulnerability. while they have a lot of good conversations, a lot of them have both laslow and nyx taking the part of either comic relief or as the listener/observer which is very fitting for both of them! but then they never get to delve into their perspectives and thoughts on some of their more vulnerable traits the way that they do with eachother.

with laslow he never really talks about awakening he references it but its never the topic. his words and actions are obviously influenced by it but you very rarely get to him be this introspective. hes very observant with his support partners but this and his odin support are the only time where hes forced to confont himself. sometimes he'll be sad and melancholy but he never discusses WHY. if youre lucky, he might mention he had a mom at some point and thats about it!! knowing inigo, we as players know why hes like that. he was pigeonholed into the role of keeping morale up, he lost one of the gemstones needed to perform the awakening in the bad timeline, ditched that world (which. his feelings on really only get discussed with nyx!!! which is insane?!?!), then had to start killing real people in order to survive until he met up with the shepherds again! but he never talks about it! i can count one hand the amount of times in both awakening and fates he does and i still have fingers left!!

and then with nyx its similar because while she does discuss her past its mostly just for explanation and not to delve deeper into it. which, makes sense as shes probably not too into trauma dumping on a bunch of strangers but then shes never forced to see that part of herself in someone else and do some reflecting on her own. heroes obviously came out way after fates but they kinda confirm that nyx's curse in part due to herself: its a self punishment that shes not conscious of but its driven by her not being able to forgive herself WHICH IS SO COOL but. you know. fates dropping the ball with writing. used to it. but while yes, that curse did come as kind of like some magical divine karma, she has already attoned for it: she’s grown up, matured, and taken the time to change that selfish part of herself that only valued power and nothing else. the only thing holding her back from moving on is herself.

so, laslow and nyx to having that moment in their supports where they both admit their guilt and let themselves be judged by eachother kinda breaks them out of this cycle of self hate theyre on and it gets them both on the path to forgiving themselves which they never really accomplish anywhere else. some supports teeter on it, but they brush it off pretty quickly. in a weird way they kind of mirror eachother, but they’re not used to looking at a reflection thats not so distorted by their own beliefs. they admit to eachother that no matter what happened in the past, they’ll never see eachother as anything less than a trusted ally and friend, and if they can do it for eachother, maybe one day they can do it for themselves.

and if they hit the s support, you can already see the change. laslow spouts the absolute banger of a line:

Laslow: Well, much as I might want to, I can't bear your burden. Nor could I expect you to bear mine. But with burdens so heavy...don't you think we could lean on each other a bit?

and its just such a fitting conclusion to the story of two people learning how to love themselves and walking that path of forgiveness together. anyways so im really normal about them

[hockeybabestars]

august/september fic recs

since september is over here are my fic recs i’ve read over the past two months!! i know i’ve been a lil m.i.a lately but just wanted to let all you fic writers know you’re appreciated. much love <3

canucks

mornings with you - brock boeser by @prettyboybarzal : all i can say is SOFT. like puppy soft, melted butter soft. idk if this even makes sense but that’s how i feel. banter = perfect, and anything brock makes my heart stop. this was beautifully written.

mirrorball - brock boeser by @nolypats : okay the softest sweetest brock dad fic and it was frickin cute too. had me in a wave of emotions from laughing to crying. genuinely sweet please go read.

take my heart, i’ll give you my soul - brock boeser by @nolypats : seriously this fic wrecked me in ways i can only describe as amazing. i made myself wait a few days after it came out bc after reading the preview i knew my heart was gonna hurt, and damn did it ever. my heart broke with the characters and mended itself at the end. i was feeling a rollercoaster of emotions and you will 100% do the same. 100000000/10 must read

all my focus on you - jake virtanen by @pucksnsticksnhockeyboys : i love the totally blind and oblivious don’t know that you’re in love with someone until other people point it out look. it really does something to me. THE SOFTNESS OF THIS THO. i love it.

maple leafs

when fate stepped in - tyson barrie by @jasondickinsons : y’all know im a sucker for soulmate!au’s and im so invested in this series. the way tyson and the reader get to know each other and build their relationship is everything. i would consider this a slow burn and it burns so good. tyson’s chivalry will make you fall in love.

the plus one pact - william nylander by @puckinghell : listen the growth that the reader and willy go through individually in this story makes their ending so much sweeter. we love dynamic characters baby. also just imagine willy as your plus one to every event. like savor it. so good. i loved this series.

4 times you thought he would kiss you & 1 time he did - travis dermott by @jasondickinsons : this is so good. i’m a sucker for all the almost moments, and the ending could not have been more perfect. the way that kylie writes details gets my stomach turning literally everytime i read her writing. this is a story you can obsess over.

islanders

goodnight n go - mat barzal by @bandgirlsclub : i love this song and this was SUCH A CONCEPT. i loved the way sophie ended each part of this 4+1, it was literally perfect like all of her writing. I was hooked from the get go.

what your best friend doesn’t know - mat barzal by @jasondickinsons : well shit if this doesn’t get your heart racing i don’t know what will. the tension leading up is so palpable and good and then soft and sweet. loved it.

flames

all for you - brady & matthew tkachuk by @comphersjost : this fic and it’s second part gave me a slew of emotions. i was a wreck by the end of reading it. we love good old fashion pining. it’s it bad that i like to feel my heart hurt when i read this? probably. will i do it again? yes.

stuck with you - matthew tkachuk & vince dunn by @bandgirlsclub : tumblr made me love both of these guys and im not mad about it. this is so good. i was so conflicted about who i wanted the reader to end up with for the first three chapters but in the end it all works out. the bubble hockey fic you all need to read.

the one who needs saving - noah hanifin by @antoineroussel : i haven’t seen too many hanny fics on this site and that’s a damn shame bc that mans is a total cutie- and this fic def shows that. they form a friendship in the oddest of ways but they way that the reader and noah are there for each other makes my heart swell. i wasnt expecting it to end the way it did and i loved it! this was such a good read go see for yourself.

avs

lessons in romance - nathan mackinnon by @prettyboybarzal : one night i randomly searched “nathan mackinnon fic” and this popped up and WOW. im so glad i did. lowkey don’t know when or why or how i got into this mans but it suddenly happened and this fic isn’t helping. i am a soft girl and nate is learning how to be soft and the moments when he actually wants the reader make my stomach turn in such a good way. im in love with this story.

coupley things - nathan mackinnon by @broadstbroskis : i love mutual pining, hold up let me say it louder for the people in the back I LOVE MUTUAL PINING! holy shit this is adorable. wedding date nate is all we need in life

[procrastinationonvacation]

I loved your Angband answer! I would love to keep hearing your thoughts (they’re really interesting!), so could I possibly ask about your opinions on The Wives (Nerdanel, Anairë and Eärwen)?

- Captain Anon (I like the name :))

Hello Captain anon!! I’m glad you like it :)

ok I think it was @feanorianethicsdepartment who came up with this: but they all suffer from being Chaotic as hell. To sum up what the post was, these three Voluntarily chose to be in this family, where no one has had a “chill” day in their life. (as usual im putting the bulk of this under a cut cause it got long)

The one exception in this family *might* be Arafinwe bc 1.did not join this life voluntarily and 2.seems pretty chill. So fine maybe Earwen isn’t That chaotic. They do have the most operative children after all.

-

anyways:

Nerdanel: “the wise.” pfft yeah right. The only person crazier than her is feanor and I say that endearingly. Arguably worse when it comes to crafting. Listen, Feanor is in part the way he is about his creations because he’s angry at everyone and generally has unresolved issues with his parents. The guy is like “my motivation is to be better than everyone. Because I hate everyone.” That’s our boy. Nerdanel has none of that, she wants to be better than everyone because she is. It’s pure hubris, unchecked ambition and “what even is that, how can I make it Cooler (more sparkly).” Mahtan and Finwe should run.

Obviously this gets a little toned down when her husband goes crazy over his three shiny-s. Obviously she realizes that considerations should be made before just rampantly making a thing when she sees what swords have done to her friends. I’m imagining it kind of like Walton in Frankenstien listening to Frankensteins story and thinking “ok it’s time to go back to my community because all consuming ambition has some pretty shit consequences”

Remember in some appendix some place they’re like “oh we mean wise but like,, only in being technically smart,,, these people were legit idiots” when talking about the Noldor? Yeah.

-

Anaire: Look at their kids and her husband and just TRY and tell me she was a normal person. Like yeah they all pass for normal, especially considering their relations, but the moment things start going south they go straight to eagle flying and morgoth challenging. Anyways I never rally say Fingolfin as an aggressive influence so I guess what I’m trying to say is it had to come from somewhere and Anaire will wreck your shit. Like at elven thanksgiving dinner, when the whole family gets together, if there’s a fight theres a 90% chance it’s Feanor and Anaire going at it, 10 seconds away from the first kinslaying at all times.

Also this is a complete reach, but her name means holy or something like that, so I imagine she’s pretty tight with the valor. And she and Earwen are friends, so all I’m saying is that they are the Worlds Best Gossips and have shit on Manwe himself.

Please understand I say this all affectionately.

-

Earwen: the one for who’s sanity a case could actually be made. She and Arafinwe are generally pretty removed from the drama, but that doesn’t mean they dont get visits. just imagine Anaire showing up to their house like “Arafinwe, you’ll never guess what your dumb brother is up to now. “ and then it’s time to play “is she mad at Feanor or Fingolfin” (plot twist it’s Findis’ husband)

Also I’m assuming she’s pretty forgiving because Arafinwe came back from the revolt of the noldor, and no one said anything about them having a divorce or something sooooooo… 100% uses it to get him to do stuff in later ages tho: “hey can we watch star wars” “no we watched it last week” “wow you’re really killing my dreams. Just stabbing them through-“ “star wars! such a great movie!! we should do a marathon!”

-

Thanks for the ask!!! I really enjoyed it!!

[ladyartemesia]

Just so you know, I will never get over this ✨universe✨ And the fact that you just basically announced that jk’s gonna get his own spin off??? 😩😩 Yes, I guess I enjoy suffering. 23 was also my hoe year. Ok, but the way the Luna thinks that namjoon is about to WRECK lil jimin… :( and they're making her watch??? That seems a bit… insensitive?? But the way she arrives in RED had me slow clapping for my girl!!! I always appreciate a strong female lead and I’m loving how fierce she is. It seems like our other female charcters, yunli and yoonji, are also strong females too, and I’M LIVING FOR IT. “You remember that time I came to your house a little too early and… yoonji had you tied to a bed…” I’M ACTUALLY ROLLING🤣🤣 and v impressed with this yoonji… I wanna BE yoonji😏 hahah ok and no onto THE secret. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING 👏👏Like wow you really did put all the clues out there for us!! So I guess “visiting grandma in seoul” was code for: learning to kill a man with your bare hands. “I doubt a mountain wolf could even throw a punch… not that they’d need to with those fangs.” I KNEW IT WAS ODD THAT JIMIN WOULD WANT TO FIGHT IN HUMAN FORM IT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW!! I loved getting to see more of jimin’s past. His sense of not-belonging was so palpable. Like when he wasn’t invited to build traps with all the other unmated alphas. I got the feeling that things like that had been happening throughout his life… as if he were constantly overlooked… like he wasn’t suitable to be groomed to be a strong alpha. It made my heart hurt 🥺🥺 I honestly must enjoy pain cus my favorite scene is the flashback to Luna’s 17th birthday, and she wants him to come to the celebration and dance with her. But he never shows up and she turns down every offer to dance bc she was waiting for “the beautiful boy from the forest” omggggg R U SRS. It seems that they’ve been drawn towards each other since the beginning, even tho he’s been keeping his distance. Their level of pining is through the roof and I can’t wait for it to just… explode🥴 I’m so happy to have some answers!!! And I cannot wait to find out how the fight unfolds!! Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m loving how the plot is progressing. I’m loving how we’re slowly getting to know the supporting characters. (I see you taeji and namli) Sending you all my love! 💜💜 Ps I'm still not over my baby boy aka thottius the second. Like... I didn't know second puberty existed until "my time" 🥵🥵

You really are like a one in a million person. Like you just support and give and are so enthusiastic and sweet and every interaction I have with you is just a total treat. I hope you don’t mind but we’re moots now 🙈.

Lol yes a JK spin off is in the works and (as of now - tho it is subject to change) it’s called Masquerade...

(Low key there is also a Yoongi one called Season of the Witch - also in the same universe that I am thinking about.)

Stories are in my head constantly. Alas I must write them to share them.

Yes! I think my favorite type of female lead to WRITE (I enjoy reading a variety) is a very strong woman who is also very feminine and occasionally vulnerable, but definitely a fighter and force in her own right. I admire that characterization a lot and writing it is very satisfying for me personally. Perhaps because on some level, that is who I hope to be.

Also. Who DOESN’T want to be Yoonji. For real. I do.

Yes! Jimin has carried that sense of passive rejection with him all his life and it’s been very at odds with the strong pull he feels to the Luna. He assumes that everyone feels this strong pull towards her and completely dismisses the idea that it might mean something and that it might not be one- sided. And don’t get me wrong, people are very drawn to her, but Jimin is really fighting against something deep and powerful when he tries to resist her growing up.

I am so so so SO glad you are loving the story. I am loving sharing it with you all. Truly this has been such an adventure and I can’t wait to keep going. 🥰🥰🥰

If I’ve already said it, I’ll say it again, I so deeply appreciate you and your consistently amazing feedback. Truly.

[crazysnakey]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts and reactions [Spoilers]

Adora’s Dreams???? Is she trying to reconnect her connection to She-ra or smth???

Of course everyone argues about the Heart of Etheria. How can they not

Okay so there was that awkward af dinner scene, but Horde Prime confronting Catra on her feelings for Adora is 👌👌👌

Catra going to meet Glimmer several times. I think we all expected that.

Everyone telling Adora she’s not She-Ra anymore and her feeling needing to be useful... AAAAAAA

When they tied up a clone and he just started blabbering about how Prime is great and all and they’re like “was hordak like this” and Scorpia straight up being like “nah he just said get out a lot” like even Scorpia anknowledges that Hordak was like an angsty emo teen boy

Everyone being like “WTF DO WE DO NOW ADORA ALWAYS MAKES THE PLANS UGH”

Entrapta... good old entrapta going apeshit over the tech

Horde Prime really does that huh? Not only does he destroy planets and take their food he keeps their treasures and stuff as his trophies

GLIMMER GO OFF YEAH DON’T LET HIM USE YOU

Horde Prime calling Catra little sister... 😟 hell no you bleached octopus

Scorpia’s impression of Entrapta is so funny like... “Yay! Science! Tech! *crazy hysterical laughing*

ENTRAPTA CAN YOU PLEASE NOT WALK INTO THE WAY OF GIANT DRONES AND BOTS PLEASE ITS A STEALTH MISSION

Mermista taking charge with Adora gone, go for it girl

Scorpia, i love you

“hooray! Oh I take back my hooray. Never mind I reinstate my hooray! Hooray!”

ENTRAPTA SAYING THAT SHE WORKS WITH TECH BETTER THAN PEOPLE AND SHE WANTED TO HELP THEM THRU TECH 😢😢

Those clones really pop out of nowhere huh? They’re just stationed everywhere huh? Like stormtroopers.

Shadow Weaver, you tsundere. You still have an attachment to Micah as your student

That one clone who’s neck just snapped and twisted (with all the great sound effects, yay!) 😨

Okay so Prime can see and talk thru all his clones... shoulda seen that coming

Hordak??? Hordak is that you

Catra straight up telling Hordak that it’s reassuring to see a familiar face even if they weren’t on the best of terms... 🥺

Is Hordak starting to remember?? Is he gonna remember Entrapta aaaaaaaaaaa come on pls

Adora taking them all to the place in her dream... wow somethings up y’all

UH WHERE IS MADAME RAZZ IN ALL THIS?????????

Going to save Glimmer... good luck y’all are seriously gonna need it

Micah pretending to be She-Ra was so funny I don’t know why

Oh so Prime can’t track First Ones tech... thank god

Wow remember when I said Hordak might be remembering?? Haha we just got the rug pulled out from under us

The Horde clones are a literal fucking cult and their chanting is seriously unnerving like wow Noelle props to making it unsettling

Aaaaaaaaand Hordak was reset again (in a weirder way too with that bathtub of whatever the fuck is in there) think he’ll somehow remember again? Entrapta my girl I’m counting on you

Entrapta naming the ship Darla... I’m getting Emily vibes

CATRA GETTING FLASHBACKS OF HER AND ADORA AS KIDS JUST RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON’T YOU 🥺😭

Okay but does Prime have no cameras or anything??? He’s got clones and advanced tech but no cameras or scanners in his own ship?? Probably bc his clones are his cameras or smth

CATRA APOLOGIZING AND SAYING SHE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING GOOD WHEN SHE SAVES GLIMMER... WOAH 😭

They really gave us Swift Wind feels huh? They really did that to us

Scorpia saying that Kyle told her he has a crush on Rogelio... awww

The Star siblings are so sweet. Also Adora stop eating all their food

Bow just helping and protecting Glimmer even tho he’s still mad at her... 😊🥰

SHE-RA?!?!?????? She-ra is that you

Adora saying she wants to go back for Catra and that she needs her... 😭😭😭

One of the episodes is literally named “Save the Cat” like 😂😂😂

BRAINWASHED CATRA AAAAAA NO TF

Somehow I knew that Prime was probably gonna brainwash Catra but actually seeing it is something else

Okay but Wrong Hordak..., crying, no idea what to do, really innocent just trying his best don’t hurt him

So the clones and Prime use a hive mind... cool coolcoolcool

Horde Prime uses vessels??? He just jumps in from one body to the other??? He can do that??? Literally if he does that to any of the rebellion people I’ll drag him out of there with my bare hands

Excuse me??? Horde Prime knew the First Ones???? He destroyed them????? HORDE PRIME DESTROYED THE FIRST ONES WHAT

Adora fighting Catra,,,, AGAIN

Catra slowly remembering ONLY FOR PRIME TO SCREW IT UP AND INTERFERE THAT DIRTY PIECE OF-

New She-Ra form

NEW SHE-RA FORM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NEW CLOTHES NEW POWERS NEW SWORD

WHERE TF DID IT COME FROM THO???????

They better have a good explanation of this and not just some asspull don’t do us dirty that way

Then screwing over Horde Prime and wrecking his shit. NICE 👍👏👏👏

OH MY GOD HORDAK FINDING ENTRAPTA’S PINK “LUVD” CRYSTAL AND GOING “Entrapta?” OHHHHH BOY WE GON GET SOME NOW

Everyone on the ship just dealing with stuff. Wrong Hordak continues to be the nicest person yet.

Micah is so funny he’s just like I want some cake and Frosta’s like UGH and he’s just like “Do kids not like cake anymore???”

Elberon. Hoooo boy that was weird and fucked up. Goosebumps. Honestly they should’ve seen it from a mile away that something was up

AAAAAAAAAH SPINNERELLA NOOOOOOOO

Catra’s new hair without the helmet is really nice. Kinda like her past being cut away and moving towards the future. I see she’s back with draping herself all over Adora and annoying her

Secret Underwater Party Adventure literally what

Scorpia’s song ❤️💖❤️... hot DAMN girl you are AMAZING and VALID and I STAN YOU

Glad to see the underwater people are doing great in these trying times

That montage of people with a grudge against Sea Hawk and Mermista beating them up is so fucking funny like “ANYONE ELSE WHO’S BOAT YOU’VE SET ON FIRE??!?”

DOUBLE TROUBLE?!!??!1?!1!??!???

Ironically DT was lying when they said Adora’s in space with a sword fighting but they didn’t know that’s what’s actually happening asdfjdn

Oh my god Mermista have you been chipped too

Literally everyone has been chipped so I guess no one’s safe idk what I was think. ing. 🤷‍♀️

How do those chips even work?? Does someone just slap it on the back of someone’s neck and that’s it?

EVEN MICAH’S BEEN TAKEN CONTROL OF?!?

That’s one heck of an anniversary....

Okay, Krytis gives me Krypton vibes. Anyone else??? It’s a planet, some superbeing’s weakness, and the name. Also it’s like, destroyed/abandoned has no life on it

Catra and the gang with their antics... she’s clearly not used to their carefree improvising ... laughing ... awww 😊 ~

Castaspella where have YOU been the whole time??

“How is it we’ve lost so many fine members of the rebellion yet we’re still stuck with you?” WOW Not holding back anything huH

Castaspella why are you even still wearing those longass robes and that cape

MAGIC??!? THAT’S THE SECRET??? THAT- actually makes sense. Prime uses science and tech so magic is something that’s probably out of his depth

Someone get me a shapeshifting cat please Melog is so cool

Wrong Hordak you’ve found your own truth go for it you spunky little boi

“Brother, I hope you too are full of love for Horde Prime and have no crippling doubt eating at your soul” GOLD. COMEDY GOLD I TELL YOU

HORDAK REMEMBERING THE ENTRAPTA RAINBOW SCENE AAAAAAAA

That montage where Netossa lists everyone’s weaknesses is so funny, Catra’s just like “I’m different. I’m a real threat.” Then Netossa just. Sprays her with water. Like. Wow.

Even in this troubling time, dad jokes persist. This is awesome. George and Lance have their priorities sorted well. Bow is so done with it 😆

HORDE PRIME WAS THERE IN PERSON THE WHOLE TIME?!

Literally what?????????? The heart can be taken WITHOUT SHE-RA???? Horde Prime ain’t screwing around babeyyyyy

Scorpia.... don’t lose to it AAA 🥺🥺🥺 and Perfuma is so positive and does the Fairy Tail thing where she believe in her friends no matter what

Shadow Weaver, the only one using actual logical deduction in the team while everyone else panics and makes puns

Okay Shadow Weaver’s speech to Adora might sound cruel but it’s actually logical and truthful. She’s being honest.

ENTRAPDAK REUNION. YES. YESYES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY SPOP OTP HAS RETURNED HORDAK STILL BEING ANGSTY

“YOUR IMPERFECTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL” Entrapta you’re killin me

Glimmer’s first meeting with Micah and THIS is how it goes?!? Wow

“Adora it doesn’t always have to be you!!” That gives me so many feels bc it’s kinda true

CATRA STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS DON’T DO THAT THIS TIME YOU’VE COME SO FAR NOW NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Adora doesn’t want me! Not like I want her” number one that’s so sad, number two NO, number three GURL ADORA DOES WANT YOU BACK LIKE THAT SHE LOVES YOU

Entrapta girl, you can do it you spunky little gremlin

The memories,,, AaAAAaaaaaAAaAAAAA

Glimbowww!!!! Glimbow Glimbow Glimbow!

“You’re worth more that what you can give to other people. You deserve love too.” OH MY GOD THAT IS SUCH A GOOD AND POSITIVE MESSAGE TO GIVE NOT JUST TO ADORA BUT TO PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE

GLIMMER comin in to SAVE THE DAYAY and Seahawk ,, 🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂😂 you’re the highlight of these moments I swear 😂🤣😂

“My oldest enemy”?? Does he mean She-Ra or the First Ones? also WHAT is that giant green tentacle monster

THE LITTLE ENTRAPTA LOGO ON HER SCANNERS AND TECH THAT IS SO CUTE

KYLE AND ROGELIO AND LONNIE ARE STILL TOGETHER AND THEY’VE ADOPTED IMP AWWWWW AAAAAA

George and Lance are so proud of their son ~

Shadow Weaver !!!!!!! AAAAA AND TAKING OFF THE MASK and then just. FUCKIN G DYING??!!!??? SHADOW WEAVER YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE ME THESE FEELS AT THE END

Double Trouble you little shit

Holee shit, THAT is the heart??? It looks like empty cubes or shapes or something...

GO HORDAK GO OFF

DID HE JUST KILL PRIME???? YES!!!

Oh shit, nevermind, they are a hive mind after all,,, ........ FUCK

CATRA GOING “I LOVE YOU I ALWAYS HAVE”

CATRADORA KISS

CATRADORA KISS

CATRADORA KISS

THEY GLOWED AND TURNED RAINBOW GAY RIGHTS

THEY PLAYED CATRA AND ADORA’S SOUNDTRACK IN THEIR BIG MOMENT

Hordak’s memory with baby Adora??? Like adorable????

ENTRAPDAK REUNION AAAAAAA THE HUG

“HI I’M DAD” WOW

ALL THE REUNIONS

Mermista’s just like slightly unsettled by Entrapdak. Begone Antis.

Literally Madame Razz have you been just walking around and dusting stuff

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ENDING WHAT A GOOD WAY TO END THE SHOW HOLY SHIT WOW

All of my ships have become canon this season Catradora Glimbow Entrapdak Seamista thank you Noelle MY CROPS ARE WATERED MY SKIN CLEARED MY DEPRESSION CURED MY HOPE RESTORED THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO WORKED ON SPOP I AM BLESSED

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[kinktae]

The penultimate part🥺 I’m not ready to say goodbye, Bitchin!Jungkook has definitely been one of my fav characterizations of him that I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for sharing your work with all of us💖

bitchin 9 asks bc i suck

sapphireprinces5 said: bitchin’ pt9 was just so beautiful?? the way you explained the emotions and interactions between the characters was just amazing!! I felt myself hanging on every word wow excited for the end but will miss bitchin’ so much 🤧

Anonymous said: TAEHYUNG AND YARA SIGN ME UP GURL!!!!

Anonymous said: Like I just feel like if Jk really liked y/n he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri, you know? It shouldn’t matter that he didn’t know how y/n felt. And it’s obvious that he has feelings for y/n so I just hope that’s something y/n addresses when she talks to him. Don’t settle for less girl! Get you a man who will fight for you regardless 👏 (btw this is not me criticizing how you wrote it in any way! I’m just so invested in the characters and am thinking about how I would feel in this scenario :) )

Anonymous said: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN WITH YARA AND TAE I FELT IT SO DEEP IN MY BONES IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM 😭😭😭

Anonymous said: Hi! I just binge read bitchin in a day and can I just say that I loved it! I really love the female characters as well, you’ve written them so beautifully 🥺 if I was y/n I wouldn’t be concerned so much about Jk not sleeping with Kiri if he knew the way y/n felt, but rather the fact that if Jk didn’t want to sleep with Kiri, he wouldn’t have, regardless of y/n’s feelings or not. IMO y/n’s feelings shouldn’t be the issue here, but Jk’s should! If I was y/n’s bff that’s what I would tell her LOL

Anonymous said: OH MY GOODNESS! YES !!!! YESSSSS Y.E.S Muchas graciaaaas!!!

Anonymous said: tae and yara are my new ship)

unknowntalesx said: okay but like tae and yara thooO they got me all smiley being like oh yeah bayyybeEE das what im talking about 😏 ALSO OKAY NOW THAT I AM MORE LUCID KIRI GOT FUCKING WRECKED I LOVED THAT SHE GOT A DOSE OF HER OWN MANIPULATIVE MEDICINE I AM 😤😤😤😤😤

Anonymous said: im not ready for bitchin to end )):

Anonymous said: I SCREAMED WHEN Y/N TOLD KIRI THE TRUTH. YES QUEEN. STAB AND TWIST THE KNIFE!

Anonymous said: ROSE AHHSHSJSKSD FUCK U I’m all hot and bothered with anticipation for pt 10 now 😩😩😩🥵

sydney--chan said: We really stan y/n for using her big ol brain to rock kiris world oh my god I yelled also I say what's your damage all the time bring that shit back

Anonymous said: a tae x yara spin off series or one shot...... haha jk..... unless..... 👀

Anonymous said: Fuck kiri's scheming ass. I'm glad YN ripped her a new one

Anonymous said: AAHHHHHH once again, I love this chapter so much!!!! I was screaming at Yara and Tae part. Seriously!!!! I am SURE she felt that spark when he kissed her. Is she going to be the one falling for the guy while he wants something casual now? Or maybe Tae will fall for her as well? Ahhhh so cute! I feel like that would be a nice spin off yk (no pressure, I swear). And Erik, woah I didn't expect him to be like that. To be so nice and wise. Great character development indeed! It was really nice (1/2)

Anonymous said: To see their interaction and the way he opened her eyes (for some reason I couldn't help but picture him as Namjoon). Ohhh the Kiri part tho!!!! I felt really petty but in the best way lol. Anywaysss I am really excited for the last chapter (really sad too) and I am sure it is going to be the best because you are a genius! Thank you for sharing another amazing chapter with us! ♥♥♥ (2/2)

Anonymous said: OKAY I absolutely adored Bitchin part 9 😻 I always thought that it was also OC fault for what happened between her and jk, he obviously was the main jerk but she never actually admitted her feelings to him and he doesn't read minds so??¿¿? Really loved that she came to understand it. And I was rooting SO MUCH for yara and tae MAN I AM CRYING THEY DESERVE IT 🙌🏻

Anonymous said: you came through with the tae x yara content we all needed omg thank you!! if anyone’s gonna make yara fall in love it’s tae lol

Anonymous said: I honestly lowkey hate bitchin’ jungkook right now. I thought I’d get over it but I just can’t imagine how hurt and disgusted Y/N was when she found out that jk and kiri were together just hours before they were like ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m also really interested in Erik’s character development now so it would’ve been really interesting to see how he’d fit in Y/N’s life. 🥺

Anonymous said: jungkook and y/n wANT what yara and tae have

Anonymous said: TAEYARA YES FINALLY OUR WISHES HAVE BEEN ANSWERED 😍😍

Anonymous said: just want to let you know you’re an absolute angel and all you create is nothing short of perfection. *sends you all of the love*

spring2787 said: I jus came from a 4 hour long class and it's finally here... Thank you so much dear 🎂 💜

Anonymous said: Is yara me ? Like when she said that boy act like they understand the no string involved but then fall in love , dude I felt that , that's literally the story of my life lmaoooo Like the number of time a dude told me yeah I'm okay with that and then acted shocked when I told him I didn't feel anything for him is impressive lmaoo Anyway I'm so eager for the last chapter!!!! you did an amazing job!!

kuhweenbri said: The way I already finished but anyways girl I absolutely loved this part and now I’m excited for the next part 😭😭 will we be seeing more of T-ara??

Anonymous said: OMG YARA AND TAEEEEEEEEE. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY FANSERVICE. JSJSJSJJSBXBSBSB But on a serious note, this fic just keeps on getting better. The fact that there's only one chapter left still hasn't come home to me 😭 but thank you so much for blessing us with this!💜💜

Anonymous said: YO! bitchin is flippin brilliant! you have done so well! jungkook broke my heart in part 9! im emotional but also so ready for part 10! please take your time. have a lovely day

Anonymous said: i don’t normally talk to writers on here but bitchin is really bitchin, i haven’t read a fanfic in so long that makes me excited to read the next part and maybe it’s because i’m so used to all of the aus being recycled but bitchin is truly a breathe of fresh air to me for some reason, maybe because you fleshed out the right hand mans for both characters idk or the it being a different time period, but i just wanted to say you are smashing bitchin dude and i love it!!

shy-kpop-girl said: BITCHIN': I just caught up on 8 & 9. Shocked & angry at JK. Because regardless of whether he knew y/n' feelings it was a dick move to sleep with Kiri one night and y/n the next morning. And it wasn't like he came over to talk/tell y/n about Kiri & things escalated because he went right at it as soon as she let him in. Even tho it was hot. 😳 But Erik. I wanted to hate him but dude surprised me with his reasoning. I loved that dialogue! Once again your writing is amazing & I love this story!

Anonymous said: Bitchin is the best fanfic on tumblr. And no one can change my mind. You’re doing amazing!! Much love xoxo

Anonymous said: “Think of life as one big puzzle and everyone you meet is shaped differently, right? Yet somehow… they fit. We find those that complete us. And they’re not necessarily opposites but—“ MAAM that part hit SOOO different omg your brain!?! Outta this world! Like this is whole ass literature!!!! I stg Bitchin’ is the best thing on this app and I meant that w my whole chest.

Anonymous said: I'm not ready for Bitchin to end. It's soooooo good 😍😍😍

kmultifandom said: Since there's a cast for bitchin I wanna audition for y/n because i wanna be a biologist and I have some similar personality traits *mic drop* Also great work, I seriously love it. No other fan fiction I have read was so close to my actual self and that impresses me even more and make it like it 10 times more djksksks

Anonymous said: how will I live when bitchin ends agghhh I haven’t even read 8-9 cause I’m waiting for the happy ending before I’m heartbroken and left waiting for the last part

Anonymous said: you know what would be super fun and crazy 😛😛🙈🙈 if you dropped bitchin’ pt 10 right now 😳😳 haha just kidding .... unless 😏😏

Anonymous said: lets gooooo!!!!!!!!!!! bitchin pt 10 better haunt me for the rest of the year

Anonymous said: I feel like I’m going to get so emotional once Bitchin’ part 10 is released. It’s like I’m sending off my non-existing kids to university because I won’t be able to see Bitchin!Jungkook anymore 🥺

Anonymous said: I can’t believe Bitchin’ is for real ending 😩 it’s soo gud 

Anonymous said: Can’t wait till bitchin PART 10 Probably gonna fall asleep before u post but I’ll try to stay up for it 🥺

Anonymous said: i love your writing honestly and i just really want you to be happy. your writing is immaculate and i really want you to know that you are talented and skilled so yeah. sorry if this is out of nowhere but i just really want to show appreciation to writers because they don't get enough and you are definitely my favorite writer:)) hope you have a good day!!

Anonymous said: okay but if Bitchin' goes on for 50 chapters that would be good too.. just sayin'.

tpo-quinn said: Bruh, I can already feel that I'm gonna cry from the last chapter of bitchin'...I CAN'T WAIT!

leojjeon said: so i've re-read bitchin ready for chapter 10 an I am feeling all sorts of emotions. it's fair to say it's my favourite series I've read!

Anonymous said: y did i forget bitchin would have an end like 😳😐we’ve been on this bitchin journey w u for so long i’m sad it’s over

Anonymous said: What what what?? Bitchin is ending??!!! Didnt it just fucking start like all the drama and tae&yara!!!! Omg girl!!!

Anonymous said: ur the absolute fucking GODDESS of writing angst, ive never ever waited for a ff to be updated before as if it was a new episode of my fav show coming out. thank u for writing and be so active, muah ur amazing

Anonymous said: a moment of silence for our loved bitchin who will die soon 😔 gone but not forgotten, she will always be in our hearts. all the best rides come to an end 😭

[jimlingss]

I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT] 

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))

[hausofmamadas]

First, let me start off by saying .... I’m mad. I’m mad at this whole thing, how perfect it is, how well captured this pobre’s mannerisms, how steamy the smut is bc like, yes, it’s hot but it also happens to be ELEGANT ASF and I want it on the record, imma straight fight you if you ever claim to be bad at writing Sexy Stuff, okay. Porque no me chingues con estas pendejadas porque es un chinga de mentiras(cariñosa), te lo digo. Estamos? Bien 👍🏼

═

✸ His fingers are twitching, restless, begging for a smoke. He emphasizes each word as if doing so would make you believe he’s right, like this isn’t career suicide, like this would solve everything. The final piece to the puzzle that is Colombia’s war on drugs.

YEAH SO HERE WERE GONNA BARREL OUT THE FUCKING GATE JUST COPY/PASTING A FULL ASS PARAGRAPH AND ME FUCKING S C R E A MING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS BECAUSE LITERALLY I DONT EVEN— I DONT KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN??? first off, begging for a smoke, idk why but that is such an evocative description but it is so visceral, i can see it as tho I’ve filmed it myself. But then also the characterization of “like this isn’t career suicide, like this would solve everything” is the most accurate thing that has been written about this. Like it just summarizes the contradictions so vividly and succinctly, im actually shaking you to the point of concussion sksksksks

✸ You can tell this one stings by how his lips curl slightly. How his full name, raw, usually foreign, comes out of your mouth.

Okay i love that you specifically said his full name is usually foreign ngl when I read a fic where he’s referred to as “Javier” a lot, it takes me out of it a little just bc they never really call him that on the show and it sounds so formal but THEN ALSO SKSKSS the way this smacks so much of that thing when your parents call you by your first, middle, and last name when you know you right fucked up something sksks like they mean business

✸ ‘’ Does Steve know about this? ‘’ ... Did you tell him before me, you want to say, do you trust me as much as I trust you. It is a shame really, how you want to be the first person he confides in, how you yearn to be more than a lover at times.

GODDDDDD AGAIN I AM SHAKING MY FIST INTO THE SKY AT HOW FUCKING GOOD THIS IS, LIKE STRAIGHT THE FUCK UP!!!!! THE LONGING, THE KNOWING HES NOT GOOD FOR YOU AND STILL WANTING MORE ANYWAY. Like fododddkdkdidke wow, im just fucking really like— okay, you know how I’m the hash slinging slasher episode of spongebob where squidward is telling him the story and he pulls the holes down on the sides of his face runs to camera roll to try to find it ..... okay this one? This is my fucking face rn

Specifically at do you trust me as much as I trust you like woof, idk dude that shit just SLAPT

✸ But you do remember how easy it had been to ease into it, to borrow his shirts so you could stay the night, to remember his days off and his favourite colour.

SOROROTRPTTOTOTRTTTOOOOOOPPPPPPPP YOU HAVE TO STOP, YOU HAVE TO STOP FUCKING DOING THIS TO ME, I DOKT EVEJRNEKSISKEN EVEN KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS THE WAY THIS MADE ME FEEL. Like it just godddddddddd, “remember his days off and his favourite colour,” like fuck man, we have all been there or maybe it’s just me sksksks who’s been a Simp for man with no capacity to Simp in equal measure in return KEKW but godddd just this is so, he’s under your skin and it was never supposed to be that way like lowkey you’re trying to white-lady-math-meme how tf you got to the point of liking this mf so much when you went into shit like “im not out to wreck my own life just my bed/body sjsjs si me sientes sksksks” and then weeks go by and you’re like “dopedopedopedopedope so glad I know how you take your coffee and am dreaming about what kind of father you’d be to our kids. It’s cool” sksksks look I’m rambling and I know it but i just— look it fucks, okay? It just fucks.

✸ ‘’ I do, Ja- ‘’ you swallow, hard, ‘’ I do, but you can’t put those guys in prison and shake their hands at the same time. ‘’

Pfffttjejdjdkdjsjd but why do I feel like Javi deep deep deep down lowkey thinks he could make those dudes like him tbf at least he speaks Spanish and could prob avoid getting his ass beat to fuck on a regular basis. Cannot say the same for our boy Steve sksks

✸ His shoulders relax a bit as he exhales smoke through his nose. You know he doesn’t need a new enemy right now, that he feels like he is surrounded on all fronts.

Oh idk why this made me so just 🥺🥺🥺🥺 like theres something weirdly romantic about this?? Like despite the straight-up accurate and reasonable judgements about his straight-up insane and unreasonable actions, they’re willing to put those aside in order to make him feel not even just like at-ease but in an effort to just be there for him and listen and not me just over here shaking my head bc that means Reader has achieved a level of emotional stability and selflessness that Javier mf sksks Peña is not prepared for

✸ ‘’ Frankly? ‘’ he pulls again at his cigarette, smoke filling up the space between you, ‘’ I stopped counting. ‘’

SKSKSK no i am screamamamaksksing at this response to “when’s the last time you got a full night’s sleep” bc like..... same, Javi. Same. Like honorable mention for my similarly garbage sleep schedule only im not in a foreign country, fighting against narco terrorism, working within a system that’s designed to do nothing but facilitate my failure.... im just like, “breakups is hard. I hate grocery shopping. Man, gas is expensive. What do I want to do with my life, what do I want to be when I grow up. Dang, that climate change is a real bummer” sksksks so like yeah— that’s the same right?

✸ ‘’ I can’t risk my career, my life, on this. Maybe you end up back in the US if the higher-ups catch you, severance package or whatever, but what do you think happens to me? ‘’

Colombia, is what will happen to you, sicarios and forced resignation, is what will happen to you.

BRO THE ACTUAL DID I JUST SAY ABOUT MAKINg ME PEEL My OWN FACE OFF, like anatomically I’m gonna run out of things to peel off and it’ll just me my bones. Bc the way the “sicarios and forced resignation” SHOOK ME FOR JESUS. Like idk put that way, the actual genuine stakes here become extremely real in a way that i don’t feel sometimes even watching the show

✸ ‘’ I can have you an embassy ID, you can come with me. ‘’ *Don’t sell promises you can’t give me.* It is your turn to be angry now, ‘’ Don’t lie to me. Don’t say things like that. ‘’

SKSKSKSKSKSKS JAVI SJSJSJS THE SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM IS NOT TO GET AN EMBASSY ID AND BOUNCE TF OUT OF TOWN actually the bounce out of town part isn’t a horrible plan but like my god, i feel like the embassy office doesn’t even make him fill out any paperwork for those ids anymore, that’s how often he goes there. Like they legit know when he’s gettin his dick wet, based on his need for an embassy ID, im fucking crying

✸ Home. Not yours, his. His country, his language, his favourite dinner places. Not yours. You stay silent, you don’t know what you want, what you should do, or why you want to say yes.

OKAY there comes a part... every fic, where I have to whip out my hilariously tiny prop-reading glasses, and my comically tiny detective’s notepad and take notes bc i just fucking realized you do this thing where like... you refer to broad things and then throw something in more specific that just makes that shit SLAP so much harder like the “his country, his language, his favourite dinner places.” And lioiiikke im sure there’s a specific name for this that those who are like real writers and thus significantly more qualified to even speak on the matter than i am even tho that never stops me KEKW would know. Howmever bc I am a full dilettante, im just gonna call it “emotional scalability” sksks where you refer to a thing broadly and then throw in something smaller, more concrete/mundane to demonstrate the emotional weight of a thing. Bro idk im sure this makes no fucking sense, but like look, i see you and i am Learning Things soskskskskssk that is all

✸ You can see the concern in his eyes, almost like regret. Maybe I should have kept this to myself. You know he is overthinking like he always does. His thigh is warm between yours as you pull him closer by the belt buckle.

OHHHHHHHH TOYTKEEIRJDJDJDJDJSJS R YOU DID NOT JUST FUCJIGNSKSKE DO THAT TO ME LIKE LULLING ME INTO A SENSE OF SECURITY WITH THE ANGST AND THEN FUCKING SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE WITH “by the belt buckle” im fucking screeeeeeching rn

✸ You feel the need to reassure him. You want him to know, know that you won’t exchange him for a few favours from his boss.

Okay so we’re just gonna file this under things I would never have thought about being a problem in these situations where I am just full :woahdeeby: marveling at the fact that you put this detail in there bc that makes so much fucking sense that it would be a concern and something that might make it harder to establish trust between them, although now, clearly Javi has established it with Reader and vice versa

✸ ‘’ Javi… They will wait for me before starting the meeting. ‘’

lsksksksksksksns so idk why, but my first thought was like, “oh daaaaaaamn okay, who is Reader and what is their title that literally their presence in the meeting is necessary to proceed with the meeting. Like is this bitch a boss? I think this bitch is a boss?” And then i just hc’d that they’re a boss bc the idea of that power dynamic tickles me to no end

✸ Your sentence comes out insistent, a small warning without any real meaning behind it. Don’t start something you can’t finish. His arms slither between yours and the rest of your body, his palms pressing against the wooden desk as he leans forward, belt slipping from your fingertips as his hips pull naturally backward.

FJDJDIWNWJWIAOQQPPADJNWWI\\+£\\*]*|££]+_+.¥{’* HIJO DE SHINGADA MADRE NO ME CHINGUES CON ESTE PUES BECAUSE THIS IS POSITIVELY FUCKING INDECENT OF YOU TO DESCRIBE THE WAY HES LEANING AGAINST THE DESK LIKE THIS, LIKE DESCRIBING IT SO WELL, ITS AS IF IVE FILMED AND EDITED THE WHOLE DAMN SCENE MYSELF, NO I CANNOOTTTT FUCKING BREATHE

✸ ‘’ Do you have to go now? ‘’

It’s not a question, even though he does whisper it like one. Don’t go. Stay here. An order, even if there is no rank to pull.

“An order even if there’s no rank to pull.”

*pinches bridge of nose, takes deep breath*

Elise

I swear to fucking Christ

That line is such straight fucking white lightning magic sent to you by Zeus himself, i actuallt cannot convey the deep pit of outrage i feel that this combination of words exists and i can never write it, like this shit is gonna keep me up at night OKAY THATS HOW GOOD THIS SHIT IS, IM FUCKING GUERO BASEBALL BATTING MY OWN FUCKING FURNITURE

✸ His fingers hook the underside of your knees, pushing you further into the desk. His voice is soft, hypnotizing, and you know you can’t say no to him. You never can. The whole thing feels like a dream, like being stirred in honey, back and forth, back and forth.

“The whole thing feels like a dream, like being stirred in honey”

...... bro I’m fucking done. I’m done. I give up. Bc what the actual for the love of fucking fucks am I supposed to do with myself now but detonate like a pipe bomb

✸ ‘’ Even if you don’t do this, I want you to come back with me. ‘’ Fuck.

THE SKSKSKSKSOWOSKS PLACEMENT OF THAT SINGLE SENTENCE “FUCK.” IS MAKING ME ACTUALLTKKSNS HOWL LAUGHING, IT IS SUCH A MOOD

✸ ‘’ I know. I know, I just- ah ‘’

SKSKSKKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKKSKS THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS AND AUTHENTIC R E A L REACTION TO THE FUCKING DIRTY CRIMES THIS MAN IS COMMITTING RN WHEN READER IS SUPPOSED TO BE IN A FUCKING MEETING

✸ Your resolve is weak in his hands. Slipping between your fingers, pooling around on the floor, seeping into the carpet.

‘’ Yes, alright, yes. ‘’

A defeat of sorts, but not one you go out of really losing.

*throws phone down to go Weapons of Mass Destruction on my desk and furniture*

✸ Tomorrow will be another day, but as he lowers you onto the desk once and for all, pushing around at the papers and clippings, you know you signed yourself off to something way above your pay grade.

I just– I mean– I don’t know what to say to you rn. Other than “☝🏽check please!” i have to go. I have to flee the country and change my name and get off the internet wntirely and start a whole ass new life bc that closing line is such an un-fucking-real banger, i don’t even have the resolve to scream at this point. I’m just catatonic actually

Hi lovely, if you’re taking requests please could I get your take on this (I cannot get it out of my head)🥲 Javier Peña x fem - in a secret relationship and they get into a huge argument before a really important meeting and end up fucking on Gaviria’s desk👀

Honey

Javier Peña x gn!reader (swearing, smut, not full on but like, a bit, the usual for the show), 1721 words

a/n : had to use a side profile gif, otherwise, it would have been a war crime. Did i just write? like half a smut? 2022 really was something

As always it's the fictional, not the real deal, enjoy xx (do I really have to put this warning on lil javi here?)

‘’ Los pepes, Javi? This is insane. ‘’

Javier is pacing in front of you. Left, right, left, right. The wood of the desk behind you is pressing on your hip, a constant reminder on how real this moment is, how he is a hundred percent serious, no joking around this time,

‘’ It is not. ‘’

His fingers are twitching, restless, begging for a smoke. He emphasizes each word as if doing so would make you believe he’s right, like this isn’t career suicide, like this would solve everything. The final piece to the puzzle that is Colombia’s war on drugs,

‘’ You can’t be fucking serious- ‘’

‘’ Are you going to report me? Is that what you’re saying? ‘’

Your hand raises to your forehead, pressing the skin, hiding behind your hand. You didn't want your day to start off like this, fighting once more about him putting his life on the line. Sneaking around again to hide from the glances and the whispers. You had been doing a good job at it for a few months, even when he had started to be bolder at times. You sigh,

‘’ Don’t. Don’t put words in my mouth, Javier. ‘’

You can tell this one stings by how his lips curl slightly. How his full name, raw, usually foreign, comes out of your mouth. The air is tense in the room, whoever’s empty office he pulled you into. You knew he had been hiding something for weeks now. You don’t know what is worst, how you were thinking for a second that maybe he was maybe trying to fuck the new secretary, or how he was actually fucking around with narcos. You can’t stop how your foot taps incessantly on the carpet,

‘’ Does Steve knows about this? ‘’

Your voice comes out smaller than you intended, soft and whispered, like a secret. Did you tell him before me, you want to say, do you trust me as much as I trust you. It is a shame really, how you want to be the first person he confides in, how you yearn to be more than a lover at times.

You don’t remember when you and Javier had started going out, meeting out after work, sipping away the stress of the week. But you do remember how easy it had been to ease into it, to borrow his shirts so you could stay the night, to remember his days off and his favourite colour,

‘’ You’re the only one that knows. I thought you would understand. ‘’

You shake your head, shifting your weight to your other foot,

‘’ I do, Ja- ‘’ you swallow, hard, ‘’ I do, but you can’t put those guys in prison and shake their hands at the same time. ‘’

He reaches into his pocket, finally pulling a cigarette from the pack. He knows you’re right. His eyes don’t leave your face as he lights it up, and you can tell he’s burning inside, red eyes, fingers twitching. You push yourself off the desk, taking a step forward. Your hand comes up, cradling his bicep. He smells of cigarette, and whiskey and-

‘’ When was the last time you had a full night’s sleep, amor? ‘’

The word comes soft from your lips, rolling off your tongue. His shoulders relax a bit as he exhales smoke through his nose. You know he doesn’t need a new enemy right now, that he feels like he is surrounded on all fronts. It is a cry for help in a way, looking for solace in desperate times,

‘’ Frankly? ‘’ he pulls again at his cigarette, smoke filling up the space between you, ‘’ I stopped counting. ‘’

Your hand caresses down and up his arm. You are not surprised by how Javier decided to take the matter into his own hands, how he thinks doing this will end up saving everyone, even if he knows it’s not entirely true. You sigh,

‘’ I can’t risk my career, my life, on this. Maybe you end up back in the US if the higher-ups catch you, severance package or whatever, but what do you think happens to me? ‘’

Colombia, is what will happen to you, sicarios and forced resignation, is what will happen to you. You can’t look at him, so you play with his shirt instead, rubbing the material between your fingers as he leans behind you toward the desk to put out his cigarette. You can smell his aftershave and you know his eyes are trying to find yours again while he straightens his back,

‘’ I can have you an embassy ID, you can come with me. ‘’

It is like you have been shocked, raising your head so fast to look at him. Don’t sell promises you can’t give me. It is your turn to be angry now,

‘’ Don’t lie to me. Don’t say things like that. ‘’

‘’ I wouldn’t lie to you if I didn’t think I could do it. ‘’, his hand is wrapped around your elbow now, bringing you closer again, ‘’ I mean it. Do this with me, come back home with me after this. ‘’

Home.

Home.

Not yours, his. His country, his language, his favourite dinner places. Not yours. You stay silent, you don’t know what you want, what you should do, or why you want to say yes. You cross your arms, stepping back to lean on the wood once more,

‘’ I’m not sure what you want me to do. How you want me to help. ‘’

‘’ You have access to a lot more information than I do. I am not asking you to share everything, I want you to come to me if you feel it would help. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. ‘’

He is a step away from you now, cornering you between him and the desk. You can smell the remnant of the cigarette on him, overpowering his cologne. You don’t remember when he got so close or when his hand wrapped carefully behind your ear to press away at the tension in your neck. You can see the concern in his eyes, almost like regret. Maybe I should have kept this to myself. You know he is overthinking like he always does. His thigh is warm between yours as you pull him closer by the belt buckle,

‘’ I’ll see what I can come up with. Your secret is safe with me, okay? ‘’

You feel the need to reassure him. You want him to know, know that you won’t exchange him for a few favours from his boss. His breath is soft on your cheek, his nose moving across your temple. If anyone were to come in now, with him between your legs, his mouth in your hair-

‘’ Javi… They will wait for me before starting the meeting. ‘’

Your sentence comes out insistent, a small warning without any real meaning behind it. Don’t start something you can’t finish. His arms slither between yours and the rest of your body, his palms pressing against the wooden desk as he leans forward, belt slipping from your fingertips as his hips pull naturally backward.

‘’ Do you have to go now? ‘’

It’s not a question, even though he does whisper it like one. Don’t go. Stay here. An order, even if there is no rank to pull. His hand slides up from the desk to your hips in one long motion, gripping at the flesh, wrinkling the fabric. His thigh comes up between your legs, pressing against you. Your head lulls back slightly, eyes following the motion,

‘’ I do, I really do- ‘’

His mouth is behind your ear now, whispering things in English you barely understand and don’t care to, as his hand taunts the skin under your shirt, pulling it from under your belt. Air gets stuck in your throat, the noises in the hallway stop. His leg comes up again, leaning forward into you with his whole body, rubbing himself on your thigh. Javier groans as your hand weave in his hair, pulling skin and curls as his lips trail your neck, tongue and teeth,

‘’ I don’t want you to go. I really really don’t want you to go. ‘’

His fingers hook the underside of your knees, pushing you further into the desk. His voice is soft, hypnotizing, and you know you can’t say no to him. You never can. The whole thing feels like a dream, like being stirred in honey, back and forth, back and forth,

‘’ Come with me, ‘’ he breathes, laboured, moaning, ‘’ Even if you don’t do this, I want you to come back with me. ‘’

Fuck.

‘’ Stop- ‘’ you press your fingers to his mouth, to keep his moans from echoing in the hallway, to keep his words from piercing through your skin,

‘’ I’ll take care of you, you know I will. ‘’ he starts again. His breath is warm on your fingers, you can feel the humidity on your skin. His hand lowers on your stomach, fingertips sliding under your underwear,

‘’ I know. I know, I just- ah ‘’

You melt into him, pushing your hips into his hand as he pushes back against your thigh,

‘’ Come with me, I beg you. ‘’

Come for me. Your resolve is weak in his hands. Slipping between your fingers, pooling around on the floor, seeping into the carpet,

‘’ Yes, alright, yes. ‘’

A defeat of sorts, but not one you go out of really losing. Your underwear slightly burns your skin as he pulls it up, pushing it to the side as much as can. He moans in your ear, again and again. Your head rolls on his shoulder, and it’s your turn to cry out, chest pressing against his,

‘’ Don’t, god- Please don’t be too loud, if someone walks in- ‘’

‘’ Are you even listening to yourself right now? ‘’ he breathes out, laughing.

You can feel him smiling against your cheek, how taunting his words are, teasing. Tomorrow will be another day, but as he lowers you onto the desk once and for all, pushing around at the papers and clippings, you know you signed yourself off to something way above your pay grade.

[hoidthevoid]

part one, chapters 1-9

ha how cool is it that the semi-sacred number (10) is how many major servants that Odium  has (the nine Unmade & his Champion in black Shardplate that Dalinar sees)

also how FRICKIN COOL is it that GOLD is the main color of the enemy?? like, finally, it’s not just black. Odium has a pretty neat color scheme, tbh--gold and really dark purple and red? sweeeet.

i like how every time Dalinar sees Navani for the first time in a chapter he goes on this mini-rant for about a paragraph about how beautiful she is

haha i remember the first time i was reading the part about the Oathgate mechanisms & how they have to be unlocked from both sides--a Radiant has to go to the Oathgate before they can use it--and thinking ‘wow that sounds a lot like the lego video games’

actually that’d be really cool. frick now i want a lego stormlight archive video game

"somehow we’ll make them listen, even if they’ve got their fingers planted firmly in their ears. makes one wonder how they manage it, with their heads rammed up their own backsides” wow, Navani.... it’s a real mystery where Jasnah got her quick, sharp tongue from

there Dalinar goes on another rant about how much he loves Navani. what a sweetheart

man all that buildup throughout with everybody looking for Sadeas’s murderer and then Adolin just goes ‘hey dad i killed him’ at the end like it’s nbd

also i love that juxtaposition between chapters. ‘sadeas has been murdered!’/immediate cut to Adolin’s viewpoint

detective dalinar, on the case

daily reminder that i love Palona

wow humankind really is a disease on Roshar.... the Desolations come and try to wipe them out but they just keep coming back. i guess that’s also true of an immune system, too, though. i know very little about medicine

highprince “i’m not like those other highprinces anymore” aladar

thank u for gasping dramatically, Kalami, you really contributed to the feeling of the moment in a way nobody else was brave enough to

all riiiight flashback chapter! 

wow young Dalinar was a pretentious little prick wasn’t he

albeit a pretentious deadly little prick, covered in blood. all the same

“spare the life of my brightlord, the heir” “uhhh.......... whoops”

this is gonna sound... really bad.... but honestly? Blackthorn Dalinar is.... i like him. he makes bad decisions and has little to no self control whatsoever and all that but he’s got a very likable personality as long as he stays in the book & away from me

on the other hand, Sadeas has always been a dick and i hate him

shotgun wedding, whoohoo!

it’s kind of odd to me that Shallan hasn’t spoken at all in the scenes she’s been in for so long, but i guess that’s just bc of the circumstances & the company

tbh Elhokar’s survived so many assassination attempts that it was an actual shock when That Thing happens later. that was bad. but we’re at a wedding now& he’s still alive so i’m not gonna think about that

“i’m sorry, son” “i know, uncle” yeesh

i’m still having difficulty picturing a face stretching to both horizons. it’s not working for me

oh yeah y’all should probably get used to reading the words “i love Adolin Kholin” bc.... i really do. i love him so much

“i can point to the moment when i decided for certain this record had to be written. i hung between realms, seeing into Shadesmar--the realm of the spren--and beyond.” 

dalinar, creating Honor’s Perpendicularity: wow storms i gotta write this down

kaladin that’s a weirdexpletive similie. ‘a baby with no face’ is the first thing you think of that’s unnatural?

aw i love Syl’s little umbrella. it’s completely pointless but it’s so cute

he’s so tall, and handsome as heck/he’s back home and let’s be real he is a wreck

no seriously Kaladin is So Tall. and so judgmental rn my goodness. ‘that cap is a diSGRACE’

THERE IT IS... LIRIN RECOGNIZED HIM...... kaladin casually shoves this guy charging at him out of the way i lvoe that... REUNION!! M Y  LITTLE BOY

excuse me syl what’s this voice singing to you

“what’d you do? hit a lighteyes?” “yep” BAM

i live for accurate descriptions of good punches. he’s so satisfied w himself too. such a perfect punch

i’m very proud of u kaladin that was very mature of you to realize that ur better than that. all the same i’m also very glad you punched him

it’s interesting that Kaladin can feel his eyes change color. wonder what that feels like

casually namedrops the king w/o a title. iconic

“i am an elegant and graceful weapon, stupid.”

mmmmm i’m having a little bit of a hard time buying Laral’s development but ok i guess

he calls Urithiru home more readily than he calls Hearthstone home and that makes me all kinds of emotional

ORODEEEENNNNN

“it made my eyes make my brain think it forgot to wake up” is an excellent description of surrealism good job brandon

shallan honey you’ve gotta realize that almost nobody sees things exactly the way you do. ily but you can be pretentious and close-minded as frick 

Dalinar keeps using the word ‘bastion’ and it’s very distracting bc i keep thinking about the Overwatch post from a couple months ago. he’d probably be a reinhardt main tho (fighting/life is about momentum and crushing the enemy. and c’mon, the armor and the hammer?)

ha first time i read this (”brightlord, sir, there’s been another murder”) i metaphorically looked directly at adolin and said ‘what did you do’

[y-kihyun-archive]

Secretanon5: For me, this quarantine has been a little bit productive, I've the time to exercise, work a bit, cook, to do my mbb activities as well, watching a lot of YouTube. I'm really excited that you are a new mbb there's so much content to watch and learn about, I would like to recommend u and obviously help u in whatever u want to know about 😊 I've been a mbb since a year and a half and an army for almost 2 years, even though is not too much time I know pretty much about 😉(1)

Actually my first bias was Shownu, he is so manly, so cute, my wrecker vias was Jooheon I find him so charismatic yet sexy, then I realized I almost got wrecked for kihyun and I think he's the best singer, really confident and with a unique personality. Tbh, mbbs have a problem selecting a bias bc they're so talented, handsome and they all have unique personalities, it's HARD picking bc they can wreck u anytime Ex: your profile pic of Kiki had me in the floor, I was like WHY ARE U DOING SIR? 😩

aahh that’s great i’m glad ur having a productive time in quarantine!! i just finished writing a midterm and oof that was more than enough work for the week :’)

!! i’d love to hear any recs you have for MX videos/shows ?? 👀 i watched & loved all of mxray, no exit, right now, i log u, and no.mercy (that was lowkey traumatizing to watch tho oof... i can’t even imagine living thru that ..) + a couple episodes of deokspatch and their wacky self-care series with olsen lol! i def haven’t seen enough performances tho haha i have no idea where to start !!

(also oh my God i just realized how many mx videos i’ve watched 👁👄👁 oops hahaha..................)

also aahhh i started off as a bts fan too haha!! my bias is jin, do you have one for bts? and what did u think of mots:7??

OMG MY FIRST BIAS WAS SHOWNU TOO HAHA!! :D i honestly think it was bc of shoot out, he rly stands out w/ the vibrating tiddies move 😂 and YES omg i understand the struggle... 😂😂 i’ll literally spend days thinking “wow kihyun rly is the sexiest mfer alive how does he do it” and then see one (1) image of minhyuk with gold eyeshadow and go 👁👁 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :’) they’re all so AAHHH it’s rly just !??!!?!?! yep absolutely impossible to choose a bias haha!

dude YES........ the dazed shoot tho 👁👁 i think about it often.... i don’t think i’ll ever get over it :’)

[simkjrs]

chapter 6 asks that are people in distress about shinsou

SPOILERS FOR THE FIC, so it’s all under the readmore 

** before i start, i just want to say, the sheer number of people who have guessed that it’s himiko impersonating shinsou is frankly alarming and equally hilarious. thanks yall 

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD SHINSOU MY SON, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM??? HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS????? (for real, tho, that chapter was?? So good??? I'm so happy to have read this)

you’re absolutely right he doesn’t deserve this and im doing it to him anyways, which objectively proves that as an author i am not and never have been trustworthy. im sorry if i ever tricked you into thinking otherwise. im crying as well

Anonymous said: holy crap that chapter. where do i even start. i knew the kidnapping was coming up but that scene still managed to punch me in the gut. shinsou doesn't deserve this he just wanted to be a hero you guys. also the scene where izuku brought mitoki flowers was really great and i'm so happy that conversation happened. and the paintball fight? best thing i've ever laid my eyes upon. sorry this wasn't very coherent, i'm gonna go fling myself into the sun. thank you for this amazing chapter.

thank YOU for the feedback, i’m really glad you enjoyed the mitoki conversation & the paintball fight because those two scenes were the ones i was most nervous about. as for shinsou, you are very right. he doesn’t deserve this and im sorry 

Anonymous said: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! that was so intense!!!!!!!!!!!! that chapter was amazing you lied sorry ://// (izuku has a crush on shinsou and i couldnt be happier. sweethearts, the both of them.) SO MUCH HAPPENED AT ONCE IM FU KCIFNSICIAJX!!!! WHAT HAPPENED WITH SHINSOU??? MY BOY WHO THREATENED HIM. WHO HURT HIM??!?!?!!?!??!!??!?! i got so emotional all throughout this chapter i almost cried like 26 times that was wild af!!! NOW HOW DO I RECOVER FROM THIS!!!! (im so worried about shinsou. about everyone.)

hfjldksf thanks!! glad you enjoyed it!! im sorry for making you emotional. its the unintended side effects of tryin to convey izuku’s state of mind 

i know this won’t ease your suffering much but for a while i intended for chapter 7 to be from shinsou’s point of view, and it was quite literally just titled “what happened to shinsou.” this may still happen. im not sure yet. stay tuned next for,

Anonymous said: *twitch twitch twitchy twich* omg suddenly i understand those comments from your betas. like. i'm legit speechless???? why. why would you do this, you evil writer from awesome land. like i just. im in like. the all caps state of shock. that FREAKING LAST LINE AKDJKLADSLKAJDSKLJLKJ. like. *squeezes air* i dont even know where to begin???? I MEAN CLEARLY I STARTED AT THE END BUT LIKE. so much. to talk about. like. the smile bits of gaming and cats and pics then THAT KAST KUUSJDFHSKJDHFSKJDHSJDF

i bait in readers with cute fun shenanigans and then i go in for the kill 

(thank you for writing in, i’m glad you enjoyed the chapter <3 )

Anonymous said: no, but like, ur saying that chapter 6 is the worst one YET (which is a HORRIBLE LIE. this chapter was great. even if it let us all devastated afterwards. but whats a good fanfiction if it doesnt affect the reader tho heh(and your certainly is a great fanfiction. one of the greatest)) is it because of the giant clusterfuck that 7 and/or 8 is gonna be? (kamino ward, all might reveal, kidnappings+ SHINSOU) im legit worried haha ( btw "(accidental) dad might: Stealth Style" is my favorite tag now)

i cultivate my tags with pride. im glad you enjoyed that one in particular :3c and also... thank you... i was super insecure abt ch6 so it’s really nice hearing ppl liked it! i really appreciate it <3 

the next chapter(s?) are going to be a clusterfuck so you are probably wise to be legit worried. preemptive apologies. i don’t know why im doing this and im sorry also 

Anonymous said: I don't actually believe that Shinsou did it, naturally. Maybe the villains pin the blame on him cause it's easier to do it to someone that everyone is already wary about? I honestly have no idea, you're too unpredictable with some of these things

u have a good nose anon... but also when have i EVER been unpredictable about anything. my taste and storytelling is incredibly predictable in that it is always The Worst and Incredibly Self Indulgent. all you have to do to pick out the path im taking is think “what path allows simk to pander to their own interests the most?” and thats the path i’ll take. this is exactly what is happening with the entirety of this fic and especially with this next arc 

Anonymous said: is shinsou being blackmailed?? controlled by someone else?? someone stole his face?? was he used as a hostage bc he interacted with class I-A more? or is someone threatening izuku again or.. ahhh idk what it is but I really feel he is not a traitor so: my current theories about shinsou. am I close?? 

yes to all of the above 

Anonymous said: Pretty sure you didn't get many theories yet cause we are still in shock. Send help pls. (Loved the chapter btw that chapter was legit a roller-coaster of feels.)

theres no help to be found. i did this irrevocably and now theres nothing we can do about it 

(thank you! i’m really glad to hear that, and hope that you have recovered from your shock :p )

Anonymous said: thoughts on shinsou's reasons: bakugou is a abusive shit who is undeserving of being a hero and made him lose all faith in heroes, blackmail, threats, brainwashing, some other type of convincing, he has been the traitor the whole time and you just want to kill us with angst, the LoV is threatening deku and if he doesn't help them they kill him, rage against society has reached its peak (same tho), or he wants to get back at bakugou, or the Cat Cafe is being threatened. please stop killing me.

this is a really impressive laundry list of unconventional reasons for shinsou to join the villain alliance. i love it. i too would become a villain in order to save my favorite cat cafe and spite a person i don’t like 

@armcontrolnerve said: it was himiko in the study with the candlestick 

d...does this make shinsou the murder victim 

Anonymous said: I JUST READ THE NEW CHAPTER AND JUST WANTED TO DROP BY AND SAY YOU'VE UTTERLY WRECKED ME. I have tears in my eyes, I am currently flailing about like a fish while my brain goes into overdrive trying to dodge the reality of that ending. Shinsou was helping Izuku not two scenes ago, he was probably kidnapped and forced to do it against his will via torture or something. I refuse to believe that Shinsou is a villain and you cannot tell me oTHERWISE

good instincts. hold onto that feeling 

Anonymous said: My guess: shinsou was kidnapped by Villain Alliance. Himiko Toga is using her quirk to impersonate him. But...why

bad pr image for yuuei 

Anonymous said: all im thinking is that girl with the quirk that lets her shapeshift into people if she gets their blood and im just. oh no. shinsou. how could u do this to the poor sweet gay boy. meet me in the pit for a fight, and also a round of compliments for ur fucking writing skills. u made me cry. i love this fic so much but unfortunately i still have to challenge u to a duel, for the sake of these poor children, and their mental health,,, (ps i love ur writing and ur fantastic!! byeee)

if you kill me youll never get these children back alive

(thank u though... this made me laugh. rest assured that i will promptly apply all my writing skills to elucidating the mystery of what happened to shinsou) 

Anonymous said: Shinsou probably got his quirk stolen by Sensei or someone is impersonating him I guess. Or his classmates are jerks and framing him or something. Smh

his classmates threw him under the bus

@sunslammerdown​ said: hi i am a person who reads your very extremely good fanfiction... thanks very much and also Wow Rude How Dare You. you said you were surprised at not getting more shinsou theories so heres my two: 1) It Was Toga, shinsou is kidnapped its not good 2) It Was All For One who can take quirks and use them on people and shinsou has a mind control quirk, its very not good still

what if its... 3) both, for maximum suffering, and the ultimate very not good happenstance 

@viperofsand​ said: I am sure I had something in mind when giving my review while I was reading chap 6, but after the final part my mind was all 'WHAT THE HELLLLLL', so, there is that. Also, I am inaugurating #ShinsouIsNotAVillain2017 for this fic starting now.

this is a good hashtag. i’m behind it. i have no right to be but i am 

Anonymous said: ok i'm trying not to panic bc of the cliffhanger but just tell me, will we know /why/ shinso is doing what he's doing ?? i'm trying not to spoil for ppl 

no worries! we will find out exactly what happened to shinsou...

@auspiciouswhiskers​ said: How much do I have to pay for a Shinsou redemption and/or Shindeku endgame because pleeease you have responsibilities

you don’t even have to ask. its already under way...

(more specifically: you just don’t even need to ask. there just isnt a need. hold that thought for a shindeku endgame though bc who KNOWS where im headed with that) 

Anonymous said: Izuku's gonna lure Shinsou with cats and everything will be just fine. Izuku holding up fuku, taka and isao: you know u can't harm them Shinsou: defeated

this is the ultimate villain shinsou ask. nothing is ever going to top this. you dont even need to fight shinsou you just have to appeal to him with cats and he’ll crumble instantly 

Anonymous said: Eh, I don't know if I'm angry, but I am a tad disappointed if it actually is "what it looks like" with Shinsou. I mean his whole deal is that while his power seems like one that a villain would have, he doesn't actually want to use it that way. If he really is a villain in your story, that sorta defeats the purpose of his character, you know? But I guess I'll just wait and see what you plan to do with it.

that aspect of his character is probably what makes what im doing 100% more awful so i guess what im trying to say is: don’t worry it’s not what it seems, but also, i should not be allowed to touch a computer 

Anonymous said: ok ok i have an idea about why shinsou provided inside help(i hope im at least a little right or im going to cry): he was threatened by the league? they saw him hanging out with deku and probably knew that he didnt know he was Hella Strong or smth and were like "look, if u dont want ur friend to die ur gonna have to Cooperate" and shinsou being an amazing friend was like "U LEAVE HIM ALONE U COCKROACH" and he did That. it probably happened in That One Stupid Horrible Month (please. PLEASE)

shinsou became a villain for deku confirmed. be gay, turn to the dark side 

Anonymous said: honestly while i'm still Actually Dead over the latest chapter Izuku having his Gay Awakening over someone who stabs him in the back is Relatable lol

h...hold that thought... 

also. i’m really sorry to hear that, and i hope you’re in a better place now. may your future gay relationships be blessed

Anonymous said: It's Mamoru. The ending to your new chapter is definitely a twist that I didn't expect at all. But oddly I'm not angry. Is Shinsou really going to be a villain? Because it kinda goes against he is fighting for. Or is he threatened?

spoiler alert...

@chocowl said: holy fuck simk

A theory: was Shinsou kidnapped by the VA and Himiko used her Quirk to look like him? That would explain the silence towards Izuku and would heal our tormented souls Q-Q

the truth is, the entire villain alliance is conspiring to fuck over shinsou, specifically

[chickenkooks]

This is!!!!!!!! Wow !!!! I have so many things to say like 1. At the bts concert Jhope was the one who like wrecked my soul (especially bc I got hit by the water he threw from his water bottle) and Jungkook's speech was actually the cutest so I feel you ! 2. Were you at the got7 fanmeet in January or the concert bc I was totally at the fanmeet omg 3. And the block b concert from like a year and a half ago?? That was the first concert I ever went to??? More in the next ask -best friend anon

anonymous asked:

!! Ok !! 4. My own tag??! You’re the sweetest omg 5. I live like an hour away from Chicago!! You’re so close !! 6. I’m so glad you’re such a positive and sweet and nice person bc seeing you respond to all your asks with such sincerity is really refreshing 7. I’m so excited for the preview + tra part 3!!!!! 8. I swear I’ll make a blog that isn’t a personal blog one day so I don’t have to hide myself from irl people anymore -best friend anon (+ my numbering in this list might be totally off oops)

anonymous asked:

Oh wait I totally forgot to mention that I feel like the exact same way you do about Jungkook bc I constantly call him a loser and insult him even though he’s my favorite + one of my closest friends is a Jin stan who lowkey tries to swerve me into his lane all the time but it’s fine everything is fine -best friend anon

I THINK IM JUST GONNA MAKE THIS A READ MORE JSUT BECAUSE I GOT A LOT TO SAY!!!!!! SO MORE UNDER THE CUT!!!!!! i almost typed cunt

1) OMG I KNOW MY FRIEND THAT CAME WITH ME RECORDED J-HOPE THE ENTIRE TIME HES ON FIRE WHEN HES PERFORMING his solo was LIT and omg i know it was so amazing actually being there because u can see accounts of ppl going to a concert but experiencing it urself is another thing entirely!!!!!!! so the fact that chicago’s concert had its own special thing, like the bunny ears n the ment jungkook said JUST for chicago was really nice!!!!!! 

2) i did not actually go to the fanmeet. if i had more money i think i would’ve :-( but its just because i already saw them in concert so i would rather buy 1000 potatoes instead. im sure the fanmeet was fun though!!!! 

3) and YES I WENT TO THE CONCERT IN CHICAGO AND IT WAS MY FIRST CONCERT TOO????? WTF U REALLY ARE BEST FRIEND ANON??????

4) OMG NO UR THE SWEETEST ahhh i look forward to ur asks so much even though ur on anon i consider u a friend!!!!!! even tho u do not consent :-D

5) AND REALLY OMG ive lived in chicago my entire life and so since most groups go to chicago when they have a us tour i try to go!!!!!! but i secretly pray they dont because i like having money n i wouldnt ever drive to california

6) aw thank you so much!!!!! u guys are so nice to me. i really dont see myself as that nice since i think being kind to ur readers and followers is just what u should do? u guys can always ask me the same question over and over because i do love talking to u guys!!!!!! know that i genuinely mean that

7) I GOT THESE LAST NIGHT AND WAS ACTUALLY UP EDITING THE PART BUT THIS SHOULD POST SOMETIME FRIDAY MORNING but im so excited too to see what u guys think!!!!!! i hope its not disappointing at all!!!!!! it’ll probably be up in a few hours. i think i queued it for like 5 PM CDT?

8) and you honestly dont have to if it makes u uncomfortable!!!!! ofc thats not to say i wouldnt love talking to u privately because i would love to but i never wanna pressure any of u guys to come off anon!!!!! so only if u want to!!!!!!

9) i made this number up for ur third message BUT SAME sometimes i consider myself a jinkook stan because i literally love jin so much??? BUT YEAH IM SURE SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE “LMAO WHAT A LOSER WHY CANT SHE JUST ADMIT SHE LOVES JUNGKOOK N STOP ACTING LIKE THIS” but when u love someone. n really love someone. u gotta call them an idiot once

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 24} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received in the hours before IWSY was posted ^^)

Anonymous said: So I'm an English teacher living in China and every Wednesday I wake up at dawn just to read the newest update of IWSY! I loveeeee it!!!!!

That’s so awesome that you’re an English teacher in China! I really miss being an English teacher in Japan *cries* I can’t wait to do it again! But oh my goodness I feel bad that you wake up at dawn x.x I hope you manage to get a good sleep the night before or at least take a nap during the day! Thank you so much my love ^^

Anonymous said: Really quick! You are amazing and your writing IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I have ever laid eyes on, my day today is scheduled around your your update! And 2 I always think of Boys Over Flowers when i see the word paradise 😂

Thank you so much my love, I fan girled so hard when you said that your day is scheduled around my update aahhh *hides* AND OMG YES “ALMOST PARAAAADIIIIISSSEEEEE” that was both the best and most annoying song every during that drama...it would have been better if they didn’t play it every 2 seconds lolol

Anonymous said: ITS TONIGHTTTT!! I REALLY CANT WAITTT 🙈🙈💞🔥

YES IT’S TONIGHT GET READY!!

Anonymous said: Hey Sara! I just want to say that IWSY is the best work that I've read in my 13 years of existence! You're really 대박! BTW, in my country you update every Wednesday 😂 Because I think when it's Wednesday here in Philippines it's actually Tuesday their. So lots of love from Philippines!! 💕💕😍😍

Omg hello to Philippines!! I really wanna go to Philippines someday, it looks so wonderful and I always hear about how the weather is always amazing :) Oh my god you’re thirteEN AND YOU READ MY SMUT I *faints* please make good decisions in life lol I beg you xD Anyway, thank you so much for reading and liking IWSY ^^ That means so much to me!

@talkmemeytome said: I love the iwsy series so much NICE ONE SARA and your other ones are amazing too ILY JFTJH

Thank you very much my love, I’m so happy that you like what I write! I love you too :)

Anonymous said: OK BUT IMAGINE IF VAMP!JUNGKOOK WAS GOING TO BE A DAD HE'D BE SO PROTECTIVE OF HER AND JUST A BALL OF SQUISH WHEN THEY'RE ALONE THO????????? WOW MY HEART

WOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I’M ALREADY A HORMONAL EMOTION WRECK TODAY AND YOU JUST HIT ME RIGHT IN THE WOMB GOD DAMN IT :(

Anonymous said: iwsy is actually one of the best fanfictions i have ever ever read!!!!! i am so excited for this weeks update — thank you for being such a talented writer 🌹

You’re too kind to me, honestly. But I appreciate you so much for saying such wonderful things. I hope you enjoy tonight’s update my love, thank you so much!

@mocking-butts said: Mumsyyyyy I'm so excited for today I'm checking my phone constantly I know I will cry over this chapter dear lord I'm in need of help~!

Ahhhh I hope you enjoy the chapter! I had so much fun writing it :3 I can’t wait to hear what you think! ^^

@im-that-chesire-jax said: AGHHHHHHHH

Is that a cry of frustration I hear

Anonymous said: what are you trying to do to me!!! chapter 24!!! I can't even... holy shii the emotion roller coaster that is this fanfic

I didn’t do anything I swear! TT I hope you enjoyed it :3

Anonymous said: Tbh sometimes I have to reread some of the chapters of IWSY because it's so much to take in!!

That’s a good thing! I often get scared when I see people send in an ask SO QUICKLY after I post the chapter cos i’m like “there’s no way in HELL you read ALL of that and took in ALL the information in 5 minutes...” lol because I do put in a lot of detail and information and for someone who was to speed read it...I think it would be less enjoyable for them that way :(

@mocking-butts said: WAIT WHAT NO WHAT IS THIS NOOOOO IM SCREAMING NOOOOO MUMSY WHY IM NOW IN THE CORNER CRYING NOOOO I CANT BREATHE IT NEEDS TO BE NEXT WEEK!

You’re welcome my child *evil laugh* thank you so much for reading it!!

Anonymous said: I..Omg..WHY?! I want to cry..Yoongi better not hurt Y/N or I swear to God. Thank you for updating. Everything was going so smoothly and just BAM, it's like a punch in the face ;A; I hope Y/N will be okay.. -Kira Anon

You’re so welcome for the update Kira anon and thank you so much for reading the new chapter! And yes - just as the quote in the description referred to, I truly wanted to capture the essence of ‘the calm before the storm’ hehe ^^

Anonymous said: Sara!!!!! How could you do this to me? I. Cannot. Deal. With. This. U.K. Anon

I apologise for doing to you whatever I did! I hope you enjoyed the chapter my love :D

Anonymous said: Even though she was being careless in the last chapter, i really love the character Y/N. I love how inteligent you made her, but also shy yet feisty. She's not an annoying and whiny character, not Too Bold not Too Shy. I really love it! I love how both she and JK can have mature conversations about everything. I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH AHH i just. wow. I've been reading it since part 1 and i cant believe its been so long already!

Thank you so much, you’ve no idea how much that means to me! I wanted to try and make Y/N with as much transparency as possible - but with enough character to build upon so that it sets her as ‘part of the cast’ you know? Thank you so much for reading it and staying with it since part one, that means the world to me! And IKR! 24 weeks...damn. I knew that this series was going to be longer than expected after the 4th chapter, but I wasn’t expecting to get so carried away like this xD hehe THANKYOU once again my love ^^

@bangtangurlarmy said: SHIT PART 24 HAD ME CLUTCHING ON TO MY BLANKET BECAUSE I KNEW SOMETHING HORRID WOULD HAPPEN AMD I WILL SHAMELESSLY ADMIT I SOBBED THE MOMENT I READ THE DETAILS OF TAE TRYING TO WILL YOU TO TURN AROUND. IM SO SENSITIVE TO THIS SERIES. OH MY GOD. I JUST CANNOT WAIT FOR THE HAPPY ENDING ALREADY BECAUSE NO. I HATE ANGST. BUT I LIVE FOR IT AS WELL. AWESOME CHAPTER SARA😭

NO DON’T CRY DON’T SOB IT’S OKAY TT I wish I could tell you how it ends but I don’t want to spoil it for you :( AHHH thank you so much once again for reading the new chapter and I’m really happy you thought it was awesome!! ^^

Anonymous said: So uhm.. this may sound weird and dirty? and maybe not fitting? but UHM... I loved it when jungkook came inside Y/N. Filling her up with /his/ seeds. And then the talk about children.. when his heart became so warm to even think about the woman he loves carrying his little goofballs. I just get so giggly and excited to know Y/N is now carrying his seeds and the possibility of them going at it again without a condom.. and her really getting pregnant. They'd be such great parents T_T

NO OMG IT’S NOT WEIRD AND DIRTY lol you’re fine! Actually - this is probably tmi and probably no one knows this about me. But...it’s kind of a huuuuuge kink of mine? Like - of course I am on the contraceptive pill bc I am not at a stage to support myself and a possible baby having complete unprotected sex lol but a kink of mine is exactly that ^^ So don’t worry! It’s a completely normal thing to love :D And yes they would be such great parents I think :3 hehe

Anonymous said: Fuuuuuuckkkkkkinnnggggg cliff hanger gosh diggity darn it I really don't know how I'm gonna wait another week to find out what happens next. You're too good that this. 😱😑😠hahaha

You know it ;) hehe~ Thank you so much for reading my love!

Anonymous said: Aah ._. I just read the newest Chapter of IWSY and now I don't think I can go to sleep in peace ._. Why do your writings have to be so well described and giving me all the emotions T^T You're amazing though <3

Aww I hope you manage to get some sleep TT Sleep is important!! But thank you so much for liking the detail and all the emotions :3 That makes me really happy to hear! And hey - you’re more amazing, I promise you ^^ hehe Thank you once again love!

@animeimmortal said: God damnit. It had to go that way. God it had to -.- Oml the second she got the call saying "let us in" I knew something was up cuuz if it wasn't then they would just have called throu the thing I am so angry @ Y/N (myself) god so stupid so effin stupid lord Jesus Christ idiot ❤ your taken for writing is amazing. Like lord save me really the amount of little detail you put in there ❤❤❤

It definitely did have to go that way! heh~ It’s never all sunshine and rainbows in this house! xD Thank you so much for reading it and for taking time to notice all the little details I put in there ^^ I really appreciate that love ^^

Anonymous said: SARA IM FREAKING CRYING HOW COULD YOU DO THAT OMG IT WAS ALL NICE AND FLUFFY AND I THOUGHT MY EMOTIONS WERE SAFE FOR A WEEK BUT NO WHAT THE HECK WHY

YOU WOULDA THOUGHT ;D hehe NO EMOTIONS ARE EVER SAFE!!

@mysr3 said: Sara U Know I hold my phone since 1pm (9pm UK), so I can read when u post it! That how bad U got me wit IWSY🙈 U seriously have all emotions hit me wit this PT! Poor Tae n Jimin. JK will be so Pissed! Can Tmr be Tues again? Can we talk about JK n Y/N sweet moments? This is a relationship Goal! JK is so sweet! I know U will leave us with cliff hanger but this week is lit ToO MuCh Dont U think? Now let me cry in silent til next Tues! Thank you LuV! I Love You❤ Send u Big Hug! Have a Good Day!

Oh my god you’re so cute asdfghjk I’m so glad I could hit you with all the emotions with this chapter :3 And ikr? When can I have a relationship like VampKook and Y/N?? D: I want it now! lol It’s never too much for a cliffhanger, you should know me better by now :3 hehe I love you too my dear and I hope you have a great day as well!! *hugs back* thank you so so so much!!

Anonymous said: *sobs* poor tae... anD YOU *points finger* Le quEEN OF CLIFFHANGERS, AN AMAZING CHAPTER ONCE AGAIN

LE QUEEN OF CLIFFHANGERS HEHE *runs away* what did I do? :3 lol thank you so much my love ^^

Anonymous said: OMG SARA IM SCREAMING WHAT WAS THAT OMG FUCK

WAT HAPPEN

@theninjachan said: "Monday morning came after another night of Jungkook pushing you towards several highs in several different locations throughout his Manor– starting with the living room, going on to against one of the walls in his hallway, and ending in his bedroom as it usually did.   okay GOALS

Goals as fuCK GIVE ME THAT ANY DAY PLEASE. I’M SINGLE AND MY P***Y IS READY TO MINGLE (just kidding I’m as shy as a fucking pigeon goodnight)

Anonymous said: I'm currently bed ridden with the flu. So what's the only thing I do? Reread IWSY and the rest of your imagines. :D It's the best medicine. 💕

Oh no! :( I really hope you get better soon...having the flu sucks but I hope that you’re taking good care of yourself and taking medicine regularly and eating yummy soup ^^ I’m glad that IWSY and my writing can make having the flu a little more bearable. Thank you so much and I’m sending lots of healing thoughts your way!

Anonymous said: I know it's probs not gonna happen, coz ya know yoongi is supposed to be the evil guy, but I can't help but think what a twist it would be if once he captures her he begins to get feelings for her just like jungkook did.... THAT WOULD BE SO COOL 😎

I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN *wonders* HMMMM :3

Anonymous said: You mentioned beauty and the beast and I was wondering if you had seen the movie, or if you included as more of a coincidence?

I did mention it! But actually, I haven’t seen the new live action movie yet - although I really want to! I’ll forever be a fan of the original Disney animation though, I don’t think even Emma Watson could win me over it hehe~ But I’ve used the beauty and the beast analogy for the IWSY series before~ so it is just purely a coincidence that the movie was released at the same time!

Anonymous said: Y'know, I should've known that something was gonna go wrong in this chapter, but I was like 'Nah, my good author friend would NEVER do that. Especially when I'm emotionally distraught.' and you gave me fluff. And I was happy. AND THEN THIS BANANA SPLIT HAPPENS. UNBELIEVABLE. I TAKE IT BACK. I'M STILL MAD AT YOU >:( - love Vampnip anon

BANANA SPLIT LMFAO VAMPNIP ANON WHY DO YOU ALWAYS REDUCE ME TO TEARS OF LAUGHTER I SWEAR TO GOD CHILD YJHVBSBDGKAJG Please don’t be mad at me, I love you very very much ;c

Anonymous said: I knew it aaalll along! Leaving her alone wasn't a good idea in the first place T.T But hey, the good point is that we'll see Jungkook savior's mode and I'm exciteeeeeeeed

Hmmm yes, indeed! I wonder what our Prince will do?! :3

Anonymous said: Omfg. WHY COULDN'T I JUST CALL KOOKIE! WHY AM I SO UGHHHH?! Love the cuddles and his departure was too cute. XD BUT STILL TnT  SARA WAEEEEE~ -Anon that pulled her friend into kpop(aka anon+friend⚇)

I’m not sure but I’m assuming that it would be hard to pull one’s phone out and dial for help when one has just been chloroformed :P BUT YES she should have called Kookie in the beginning when Tae asked her to come outside to confirm with him~ But she was too headstrong for her own goo! Thank you so much anon who pulled her friend into kpop! I hope you’re both enjoying the series ^^

Anonymous said: istg ur ff IWSY is hands down one of the best ive ever read! omg ive been a silent reader all this time and it is truly a pain in the ass to have to wait for the next chapter ugh bUT GIRL U KNOW HOW TO TRILL MY NERVES LIKE IN THIS CHAP 24 HOW I WISH TMR IS TUESDAY AGAIN </3 pls keep on going with more fluff!! and beb just so u know theres someone whos constantly waiting for ur update & love ur stories!

Ahh thank you from the bottom of my heart for that! That’s so sweet :3 I know it’s a pain to have to wait a week for the next chapter but at least you definitely know it will be uploaded at the same time! ^^ Thank you so so so much and I hope you’ll enjoy more to come!! c:

@koreaisanaddiction said: SARS!!! what have you done to meeeeeee!!! FUCK!!!! im going to be trying to solve this now for the next week!

Solve away :3 thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: NO READER NO i knew it was a bad idea, i could taste it wHY?!?! poor kookie is gonna be mortified... i feel so bad for tae, too! i mean, he obviously didn't want to do it but he didn't want jiminnie to die. i really hope jungkook won't hate him... i'm a mess help

Let’s hope everything turns out okay in the end! :3 thank you my love ^^

Anonymous said: The whole time at the end of IWSY I was thinking "NO! CALL JUNGKOOK OMG STOP!" You're such a great author I can't wait to see where this leads! 💕 I can't wait for next Tuesday

Yes she should have rang Jungkook but she was too headstrong! Silly girl ^^ Thank you so much :D

Anonymous said: OMG SARA IM JUNGSHOOK wow I cant wait for next week ! Also if Vampires cant enter a house without being allowed to how come yoongi was able to come into Y/N s house to murder her family 🤔 --wifey anon 💕

Because her brother Cassidy let him in ^^ Like I wrote in the previous chapters :) Thank you for reading the update love! ^^

Anonymous said: Mom you got me all the way fucked up. Hold up now. I was prepared for this. Like I was expecting a nice piece of cake and it was a plate full of Brussel sprouts instead. Fucking Min Yoongi you sexy little devil you. But it's all good cuz bae gonna swoop in and snatch y/n up and take her home where she belongs. Poor Jimin and Tae. Like they deserve so much happiness and the keep getting in shitty situations. But even though I feel betrayed THIS WAS A NICE ASS CHAPTER. I Love you 💜 ~LilKookieAnoN

Bae gonna swoop in haha yes hopefully c: I’m sorry for betraying you but I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter~ i love you too lilkookieanon and I hope you’re doing well ^^

Anonymous said: OOOOHHHHHH FUCK! CHEEZUS SARA THIS TIME I WONT EVEN TRY TO CALM MYSELF DOWN! WHYYYYY??????? Ohmaigawd the whole freaking time it was like a horror movie; I could feel the suspense building and I knew something bad was going to happen, plus the added factor you ALWAYS end on a cliff hanger... CAN YOU FEEL HOW ANXIOUS YOU MADE ME FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER?! anyways, I love you soooo much!!! Please take care of yourself and stay healthy! <3 - army anon

I apologise for any anxiety I caused *hugs* heh ^^ I love you too and and I hope you’re doing well - please take care of yourself too! Thank you very much for reading the update Army anon ^^

Anonymous said: I almost cried while reading chapter 24 of "I won't Stop You", I can almost feel the regret, sorrow and pain in Taehyung eyes, he still love his brother regardless of what, and little did he expect that his brother took him for granted, and that's the most painful thing one can experience, especially when the one is your brother, and I dread seeing how will Jungkook react when he found out omg I CANNOT!!

Yes - it’s hard when your family does shitty things because on one hand you love them, but on the other they are possibly bad people (in this case, definitely) lol ^^ Thank you so much for reading it love!

Anonymous said: S A R A WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT SARA WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 as soon as Tae said come outside I knew something was wrong I KNEW IT god I'm gonna cry poor bby Jimin poor everyone POOR ME I can't!!!!!! Why do you do this to my heart

Because I’m evil ~ sorta :3 hehe thank you so much for reading it!

@wanda-rog said: You can't end a chapter like that and then make us wait a whole week to see what happens! You're so evil T-T I want to see Jungkook raise hell now!  It's going to be the longest week in history

I can and I did *evil laugh* hopefully he will raise hell for you! thank you so much for reading the chapter lovely ^^

@mysr3 said: Sara I have funny thing to tell u! How coincidence that u wrote about Forbidden West Wing and the impressive Library of Beauty and the Beast in IWSY today and I happened to see the movie today! When the west wing was mentioned I was thinking about Y/N and her JoKe lol Then the Library scene I was like huh Y/N enjoyed Jungkook 's just like Belle does in hErE! it's such funny coincidence! 😝The movie was ready GooD! If u have not watched I recommend it! 👏

Yes, I haven’t seen the live-action movie of Beauty and the beast yet but I hope to because I love Emma Watson a lot! Thank you for thinking of me when you saw it my darling :3

@min-ty said: IM SO SHOOK ON CHAPTER 24 OF IWSY IM JUSY ALSJDJSISJDMDJLXKSNS I CAN'T. Your writing was so good in this chapter. Not that your writing isn't always amazing (it is) but I really took notice on it! I know writing fanfiction isn't easy, so to write a chapter of something every week and have nothing be filler or bad quality is so amazing! Have a good day/night!

I’m always trying not to make episodes feel filler-y! I thought that perhaps at the start of this chapter, it felt that way. But it slowly built up to the ending which turned it into a normal storyline! Trust me - many years of watching Naruto + Naruto Shippuuden made me HATE fillers with a passion lolol but they can of course be needed for a storyline to be complete! Thank you so much for reading the chapter love and I hpe you also have a wonderful day ^^

Anonymous said: Oh my god!!! IWSY is killing me I wish you could update 10 chapters a day!!! but oh well, as a university student myself, I can totally understand the demands of school work... am thankful to even have a chapter a week to read HEHE. please tell me Prince jungkook comes to the rescue!! and jiminnie and taehyung please be safe too!! super excited for the next chapter ㅠㅠ

LOL oh my goodness I would definitely write myself into an early grave if I did that :3 I hope Prince Jungkook can come to the rescue for you! :3 thank you so much for reading it love and I hope you’ll enjoy the next chapter too!!

Anonymous said: Hi! Just wanted to say your fics are really amazing! :D I literally just joined Tumblr earlier this month for the fun of it but after miraculously stumbling upon your blog and reading IWSY, I felt like giving a try on writing fics as well (though there are so many of them around already omg). Can't wait for your new chapter on IWSY!

Thank you so much my love! I’m so happy you stumbled upon my tumblr and IWSY ^^ And yes you should definitely try writing ff! It’s so fun and it feels nice to put your work out there for people to enjoy and read too :D I hope you have an awesome day dear ^^

Anonymous said: SARAAAA! Why do you have to do this to my poor heart?!! Can I make tuesday, everyday?.😭😭😭 You're really an amazing writer! I love you!.😭🤧❤️

Anonnnn! I’m sorry for any damage to your poor heart :c Thank you os much for liking IWSY, I’m so glad you enjoy it and I love you too!

Anonymous said: FUCKING HELLNSJSJSJSJSK OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY FUCKING FLYING FUCK IN THEUFKXINDJSJSJ WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I MEAN OK inhlae exhale 348x LIKE HOLY SHIT that endingsjdjdjdjjd

*holds you* it’s okay...shhhhh...it’s okay my love

Anonymous said: its my thesis defense tomorrow, im kind of nervous but after reading the new chapter of iwsy my anxiety went away BUT IM LIKE MKAKSK THAT LAST LINE WHY TF DO I THINK YOONGI LIKES Y/N HOLY SHIT HE WANTS  HER OOOHH WAIT BUT HES EVIL RIGHT... BUT LIKE WHY HE CALLED HER "MY DOMITOR" BITCH TF JDJDJXJ HOW ABT JK SHIT THEY GONA HAVE A FIGHT IM FUCING HERE FOR THIS IM FUCKING PISSINGIN EED TIME TO RECOVER FROM THISNKSK

Good luck for your thesis defence my love I’m sure you’ll do great! I’m so happy that my story could make you feel a little at ease :3 LOL OH MY GOD *dies laughing* I guess you’ll need to wait and see what happens dear! :3 thank you so so much for reading ^^

@jauntyjin said: YOUR STORY IS STRESSING ME OUT IM LOWKEY MAD AT TAE BUT I UNDERSTAND BC JIMIN WAS IN DANGER OH GOD JUNGKOOK IS GOING TO GO MENTAL IM COUNTING ON MUGSY TO FILL JUNGKOOK IN

NO STRESS PLS ENJOY~~~ lol I HOPE ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

@jungkookbangtaned said: SARA TELL YOONGI I'M GONNA PUNCH HIM BECAUSE SYCRGIZEWHAO HE USED TAE AND JIMIN TO GET TO ME AND SO I'M GONNA PUNCH HIM.  Amazing as always, and I really can't wait to read how Jungkook is gonna react... poor baby😓 love you💕

I’LL TELL HIM BBY DON’T WORRY ;) Agh thank you so much for reading the newest part love ^^ I hope you’re having a great day and I love you too ^^

@cynicalspacehoe said: DAMMIT I KNEW IT! THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A WHOLE DAY JUNGKOOK, I GET KIDNAPPED

JUNGKOOK CAN’T LEAVE YOU NOWHERE! hehe~

Anonymous said: Whoop whoop I hope I am not too late for the answer post 🐇 Huuuuuum Tae just why ??? I cant judge u tho u had probably no other choice but still baby dont scare us like that 😩 --wifey anon

Yes you’re not too late! I usually post the answer post any time after 9:30pm on a Wednesday but sometimes I hold off in case I get more asks ^^ I don’t wanna clog up peoples feeds but at the same time I wanna answer everyone lol! Poor Tae :) he had no choice, he loves Jimin so much :( Thank you so much for reading my love!

@trashyxpotato said: Hello~ I just wanted to say that your Jungkook fanfic "I Won't Stop You" is amazing! I've been reading it for a few days and... I really love it! I really laughed at some parts. :') I love the story and everything! It became one of my favs~ ^_^

Hi there! thank you so much for finding and reading IWSY and I’m really happy that you’re enjoying it! I’m glad you said that it’s one of your favs, thank you very much once again love ^^

[lunnonbridges]

2019

saw Rachels tumblr post wrapping up her 2019 so ima do the same thing lol ty for the inspiration rachel <3

2019 was wild had some amazing highs and some devastating lows but i mean that happens every year lol.

school: completed my favorite clinical ever in the ED wow i could go on forever about it because i enjoyed it so much and i learned so much and wow ED nursing is amazing and so crucial i can’t wait to work in the ED again in a few years (hopefully) overall i enjoyed school surprisingly i love nursing and i can’t wait to finally use my BSN, RN in action in a few months. i!! am!! a!! college!! graduate!!! passed NCLEX too thank god (no real lows in the school department actually)

work: got to put my RN license in action working as a flu nurse haha i thought it was gonna be more intense but it was actually pretty chill just giving shots lol im not afraid of giving shots at all now because i did it literally for a job lol. got hired to be an oncology nurse at swedish which was nice :) the not nice thing was having my license delayed though which means now i am not working as a nurse T_T but i mean at least i still have the job--just got delayed but nothing to beat myself up over it. glad i found a full time babysitting job to fill the void in the meantime though :) winston is a very cute baby and i love him a lot and i am excited to see him again ahah hes such a darling and pay is enough for me to pay rent and some but rip savings haha

family: feels kinda the same? i’ve always been decently close with my immediate family i guess but going to the wedding and seeing everyone for the first time in a while was weird--i am def the most liberal and like out there out of the entire family i would say like what i believe in and what i hold important etc but i mean thats also not a bad thing--they focus too much on religion and like conservative ways in my opinion and i am too scared to talk about that stuff with extended family lol bc they are so stuck in their ways and i dont want more lectures lol i dont go to church in seattle but i go to church when i am home lol all convos at home become church related somehow and i hate it honestly...i don’t want religion shoved down my throat anymore please!!!!!! it is so suffocating

fitness/body image: started gyming a lot this past summer and continued it until december loll bc i got busy with life but i gained a lot of muscle mass and started feeling good about how i looked for the first time ever really (so sad i know) gained some weight too but that’s ok bc muscle mass. hopefully i can go back to the gym in january so i can work on getting slim thiccc lol i’m such a twig. i am not worrying too much about weight anymore because it is just a number! but i do relapse sometimes and worry too much over how i look--it is a work in progress

friendship: for the most part good or actually honestly all good because the only friend i feel like i kinda lost is Jason? but i mean hes off doing his own thing with his own friends and SO so its ok. if he’s happy im happy for him! maintained friendships with everyone i was close with before and even caught up with some old friends like alice, esther, rowena and i even met up with priyanka once although she never hits me up anymore lol i tried ok she is a busy person. got pretty close with like albert and will especially the past few months and everyone else really through talking to them about my struggles and issues and i know they all care about me truly <3 i love my friends and i am very grateful for the bunch of them. still close to michael and michelle! and i became close to michelle kang thanks to rachel <3 hehe i love rachel she keeps it real for me and is there for me regardless i love living with her and being with her and she just gets me ya know? ily lots rachel wifey <3

relationships: wow where do i even begin....life was going well with jason and then it just went downhill and i am writing this post as single as i can possibly be HAHA we broke up in sept after 3 years but no hard feelings right? hes with someone else and i am content/over him for sure---i was losing feelings which is one reason why i called it off lol but ya he taught me alot but at the same time a lot of people don’t think he was the best for me lol...they all tell me i could do better/glad i am not with him so interesting to hear this now tbh we had some issues and they couldn’t be resolved properly...hope he isn’t mad at me or anything idk....i can say confidently that i am over him 10000000% and i won’t look back. downloaded dating apps in seattle lol and i got wrecked for 2019 HAHA met a really nice guy and hit it off well and i was really liking him but ya tldr did couple-y things and were even exclusive just to have it called off bc there was no attraction and surprisingly i’m not mad at all even now! it hurt the first few days but im over it now. thank you next! (if youre reading this please know this is true and i do want to be friends and this time apart with me being in the bay has helped a lot--took my mind off of a lot of things lol i just want whats best for you!) i know hes looked at my tumblr before lol thats how close we were imo since only a select handful know of this page... he was the first guy i was amazed at for his maturity and levelheadedness actually so kudos to him! not many guys are like him so hopefully the next is just as mature lol i am talking to some guys super casually tho but ya i gotta just focus on myself and friends/fam instead of boys lmao...i am extremely afraid of being vulnerable and opening up and even truly liking someone again because they always leave and i always get hurt and broken lol hopefully i learned my lesson this time haha boys are scary and i have 0 expectations anymore ha ha ha! im open to dating not too sure about being tied down though idk if the right boy comes along so be it!  i dont want to come off as like dependent and insecure and always needing a boy with me for validation--i dont want to jump from 1 boy to another boy so fast bc my heart needs time to heal and recover lol i am baby heh 

this is a very long post so ima write my 2020 goals on a different post aha overall 2019 sucked kinda but also didn't suck lol hopefully 2020 is better haha