#u will need wait SOME YEARS
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blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)
"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie
#liv in the replies#if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect#THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i#went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO#regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me#as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's#james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he#will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who#love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs#hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic#next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the#elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost#tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on#tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for#the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc#so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many#photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate#and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets#okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o#i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul#u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh#start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last#blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee#& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost#joel farabee#philadelphia flyers#calgary flames
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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
#origins smp#i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅#beeduo#otubbo#oranboo#beeduo fanart#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
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like nart to be a hater but if Ur happily married to ur hs sweetheart (or god forbid middle school sweetheart) i feel like u dont need to make being hs sweethearts ur entireeeeee personality
#i went to school w this couple who are now married who have been together since we were in SEVENTH GRADE#im sorry but thats just not right... u need a gap year before u lock it in if ur in some kind of commitment like that#at least they waited till this past year to get married but uhmmm oof#based on the way they post online it doesnt feel like its for themselves and im pretty sure bro is gay#i feel bad for both of them :/ hopefully one of them cheats so theh can be free!
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i made this for myself but anyway! homestuck lobotomy corporation crossover!!! featuring Dirk as Ayin and Jake as Carmen :)
secrete design under here for my fellow pm heads for whos angela
is angela based off of jake you ask? nope! lil hal is angela! ;)
instead of AR its DEM or D-em, whats it stand for?
deus ex machina :]
you look me in the eyes and say dirk "control freak" strider wouldn't make an AI based off himself, he doesnt trust anyone else enough to do the task of maintaining the script!
#homestuck#lobotomy corporation#dirk strider#jake english#lil hal#anyways hal is going through the torment nexus btw#this all started bc i got back into homestuck while playing limbus and i was struck with the thought that dirk as ayin!#o7 jake unfortunately your hope has damned everyone around you! see you in the next game king cant wait to see your glow up <3#also yeah hal as angela is like big sad but also u get like a happy ending in the next game good luck king see u in 10k years o7#ult dirk is adam btw debating on the other guys but i need to think some shit out#(i put rose as binah in my head btw she gets to be op#as a treat )#thank you for coming to my ted talk all like 5 people that have the same interests as me ! lmao#I FORGOT BUT ROXY IS BENJAMIN ! OLD WOMEN WINS!!
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Gomzzzzz hello!!! I’ve been lurking in your blog for like, over a year now and I just wanted to say, your art is so freaking amazing and cute....the big cheeks!! I’ve always struggled with confidence in my own work, to the point where sharing anything felt almost impossible (stare at my stuff for hours only to delete them) But seeing you do your thing? I decided to try posting too. Okay it took a while but when I did I was fully expecting it to get like… 2 likes, max. But then YOU reblogged it, and my phone basically exploded. I’m not even kidding—my notifications were wild, and for the first time, I actually felt proud of something I made. It might sound silly and you probably don't know which art of mine you reblog but it really hyped me up and frankly...i found back the feel to draw again. I can't thank you enough for doing what you do, for making cod space a better and nicer place (your reblogs on others are always soooo positive and top tier)
Anyway, I’m keeping myself anonymous because, uhhh, social anxiety vibes and don’t want to overwhelm you;w; but I hope you know how much you’ve impacted people like me just by being yourself. I’m wishing you the absolute best for 2025!! zapping you with my beams to give you braincells for your school stuff
you deserve all the good things fr
-🦈
🥹
CryING iN THE CLUB— (my room)
Shark anon, thank you for the sweetest words, I really needed this today…and I’m so proud of you for finding back the love to draw again. I hope 2025 will be a blast for you too man!! Remember to take rest and have a good year ahead
#im trying to guess who you are…#theres a few people in my head but I really cant be sure…i did text one of them to check but its unlikely#i feel like you’re right tho if u didnt remain anon i would��ve panic#LMAO#i know its weird and like hard to really like what you draw i feel ya#idk about me making the fandom space nicer im just being chaotic af tho NDJSJDJSJS BUT THANK YOU 😭#this year I’ve been digging thru the tags and trying to find more creators around and share it to everyone#give the lil boost cuz they can do so much#i started from zero its time i give some of those numbers to everyone else#bee is this u (bcuz of the face) if its u im smothering u with love gdi#urhhjjjhghhhh (rubs my face + deep breath) ok i think im good#(breathes out) nope im crying again (SOBS LOUDLY)#its the stress hsing this opportunity to release itself#ok but this is genuinely so nice of you i really cant#even word it properly without JFJSJDJS WITHOUT SCREAMING EEEEEHHHRGGGH#im gonna exPLODE#LOVE LETTER FOR ME BASICALLY#you guys are too nice 😭💛#boop#naur man this needs to be added to my pin post or somewhere so i can reread it#ask response#thanks for the ask <3#gomz having a melt down#sorry btw if this response is short my brain is still full of uni stuff i HRGH#didnt wanna make u wait either#<3#just know i’ll be thinkinf about this forever#njjrjjjnnnn *gomz melts*
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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i played the remastered alan wake a while back and am replaying the original on steam, and, honestly, they’re so similar, I couldn’t tell which is which if you held up comparisons. ive come across reviews about the game looking outdated and bad (mostly compared to other releases in that time), but the original looks great and I like the hazy dark lighting for both this and awan
#might delete#I can’t wait to run into all the product placements#like yeah I know it’s not. top graphics of that year. but I’ve stopped and looked at the environment So many times. it’s pretty!#this is because im biased but I *loved* AWANs choice of scenery. although I wish it was as detailed and expansive as the original games#all of remedy’s games do pretty great in terms of the environment. ignore controls terrible map and the Oldest House is an incredible space#to navigate just by following signs and all the little details. the atmosphere!#don’t even need to explain how aw2 is good with that#but even Max Payne 1 has this beautiful eerie quality where everything is this fever dream of grungy or old environments#even before the literal nightmare sequence it felt like navigating a dream of this Not New York City. like of course it’s likely born from#the limitations the developers had when making it. but the emptiness and placement of npcs added to the experience#QB so far is my least favorite in its style and environment but it’s still had some good moments. the use of flashbacks + time overlapping#onto abandoned and destroyed environments was genius. the college campus itself and the train(?) cargo(?) area was neat to go through#there’s some really good stuff there! *im also. not done with QB so im still hoping things get more wild!!#im honestly more forgiving of QB as a whole and find it interesting since it went through a lot of hell in its development#this might seem negative but it’s not! it’s a shockingly beautiful game. graphics exceed expectations#the style and some locations is where it’s more boring for me. but still good. im so tempted to buy it on steam to finally finish it#endless apologies if u opened this and ur entire page opened up an essays worth of tags
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first week back at school and ahhhhhh everything is a little overwhelming currently
- my living space is full of boxes i have simply not had the energy to unpack at all.... hopefully this weekend (but i have also been invited to a Social Event so WE SHALL SEE)
- this school year is going to have So Much Important Stuff happening inbetween the many weeks of practice placement
- such as The Academic Text
- AND i need to finish the big project i was supposed to have finished ages ago
- our teacher this year speaks swedish with a very thick french accent and i speak norwegian with a dialect, we really struggle to understand one another but maybe hopefully that will change over time.... please...........
- i'm stressed about Stupid Bureaucracy Stuff
- and im so so sleepytired :(((
- and it's too humid and warm for comfort :(((((
AT LEAST I HAVE CUTE SOCKS

purchased in a distraught jetlag haze and subsidized by my travel insurance. they're my favourites now
#swedenquest#everything happens so much :(((#but i will be okay...!!!!!!!! no unsolicited advice please#in fact i have been given resources for metacognitive therapy to fight my brain demons and im excited to get more into that#but also how am i supposed to read anything under these circumstances.#tomorrow is self study day and if i wasn't so stressed about Big Project I would've made myself stay at home and rest/unpack#ill simply have to compromise. sleep a little bit longer; couple hours of tinkering at school#take it easy but take it!!!!#also god i was first out to have kitchen cleaning responsibilities this week#which isnt Hard u just need to run the break room dishwasher and take out the trash BUT#the trash bags are the worst quality trash bags i have ever encountered. they tore at my touch.#i tried so hard to remove the trash from the trash cans in a neat and professional manner but it all kept falling apart#and next thing you know there's coffee grounds all over the floor and everyone looks at you with pity#i got some help but it was so stressful and Bad#and there's someone in the 2nd year who keeps emptying the dishwasher even tho it's not their turn and I WOULD DO IT IF U WAITED FIVE MINUT#they did this all the time last year too and it's like. i get that they're stressed out by dishes in the sink or whatever i really do get i#but it's really messing with the system and like... teaching everyone else to not contribute??? because they don't even get to??#AND i lost at minigolf with like 20 more points than everyone at my team#which i genuinely wouldn't mind except i dragged the average score down so bad we could never have won anything#FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL GOING FINE
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i guess this is a vent? idk I'm talk to myself some is all
the thing ab CAB is she will literally experience us having coughing fits every couple of hours overnight, waking up drowsy and dizzy with a sore throat, clutching her stomach as the sick affects the tummy and also the pre-existing GI issues, and brain empty bc sick brain fog + grief brain fog + already have brain problems. and her ass will still try to take over and be like NO WE'RE OKAY EVERYTHINGS OKAY LETS GO TO WORK OKIE DOKIE LETS GO YOU'RE LETTING EVERYONE DOWN (< who i have no idea btw. everyone in my life is telling me to stay home & rest. probably dad cus he doesnt believe in covid but he also doesnt mean shit anymore in our lives bby I promise) LETS GO. like girl. we literally cant even stand without getting dizzy and we got terrible sleep last night AND our boss is letting us "wfh" instead of exhausting our eto. could you be any more .... oh god word dont elude me now ..... whatever. anyway. CAB shut the fuck up challenge
#bunny rambles#i know she started as a way to protect me mentally at work i know i know#i know she exists bc my dad treated us like future employees/interview candidates and not entirely as people#i know she just wants to protect me but also girl shut the fuck up we have COVID if there was ever a time to rest its now#why are you even awake! you dont need to be! she literally freaked out immediately when waking up today and demanded we take a covid test#which like. i have enough of but also ofc nothing's changed cus we're still sick!! but i can smell and taste just a little more everyday and#she's taking that alone as a sign of faking being sick like GIRL CHILL ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS we can wfh today pls#I'll even indulge u with tasks just pls girl take a fuckin nap i beg u#on a funnier note: yesterday i was talking to my therapist ab this bitch and yk the fact that when things are hard in my life i dissociate#more/less with Responsibilities & i gave examples of a few times in the past i literally didnt realize there was Actual Harm happening to/in#my body until i literally Snapped out of the dissociation (like my appendix nearly bursting. or when i put the blade thru my kneecap at my#last job and str8 up didnt know i was gushing blood until i peed an indeterminate am of time later)#and i was comparing the sensations of my body and explaining between the grief & sick i Literally dont know where my creatures are bc#everything is dampened for Me but also i KNOW they're coming out bc i cant remember some days at work last week/breakdowns ive had but cant#remember the inside only the sobbing coming down this past week. and also we were IDing the fact that 16 (a conglomerate of my teen years)#is like. Here. and maybe me constantly saying “i feel like 16” when im in this distressed headspace is more of a sign that like. i should#explore and listen to those parts (and oooh boy did they talk yesterday) and um. wait there was a point#OH RIGHT my therapist was like “you know. you use different pronouns for your parts” and i honestly didnt realize that#but i Was able to give her a mapping of when every name in my name pile came into existence/was a primary name#and as i/16 was mapping the name pile (16 did most and then u could tell where 16 wasnt as sure bc it was the 21+ names pile which is#complicated but of 16 dont know that. not the point) um anyway. this is a very long crazy sounding ramble#im just talking to myself mostly but if u read this then thanks for listening to me ramble ig
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Where's that one Ford art post thats like I'm in the best years of my life clutching a hot pink thermos thingy with hot gurl juice when he's clearly not. cause damn . Yeah
#ive got it actually downloaded on my phone. so dont actually need it forwarded to me. but also#christ man what day. what a life. what am i doing man. im so exhausted. trying to figure out my masters. which like. UGH first pushed to#do things and then im like oh okay yeah makes sense ill do it and then suddenly people are like a YEAR LATER wait what do u actually want.#like. idk man i do enjoy what im doing and enjoying myself. but also fuck im tired. but also i would be excited to do further work on what#im doing. like. i get my aunt dying recently has suddenly all my other aunts reassesing their lives but its just like. yeah and now suddenly#youre reluctant about the shit youve pushed on me huh#and CHRIST the stress of figuring how the dynamics work since everythings changed up here and ive gotta move AGAIN#and the oma needing to be medivac'd out today like fuck man. and then i fucking went to craft night and started weavibg a basket#like. what the fuck man. and then finished two typesets.#ughhhhhh. and was like damn i needed to make those hours for work today but whatever i guess. tomorrow it is#me w my sad little micky of liquor and my laptop for typesetting and antique roadshow on in the background trying to relax#omas probably fine but CHRIST last i was in they were like shes fucking dying. okay wait shes a little better no one else is in can u#look after her. horribly stressful#yeah. sure. prime of my life. to stress out about everything.#hugin personal#had a breif moment sitting on my bed where everything dropped away and i was like damn what the fuck am i doing. what is going on.#how am i still moving. anyways. i think i need a vacation#its fine its just been a long few months and things keep piling up and im supposed to be making importnat life decisions and i feel like an#impaled beastie on a fork writhing around. AND im not home so i dont got my snuggly boy to cuddle. i just need some sleep i think#the prof i was thinking of supervising me seemed super nice... and talking to stydent this week also where nice and only had nice things#to say. idk man also been thinking this week about growing up and never having your work being acknowledged. its just why havent you not#done that. like. damn. dont think i can recall my dad every saying im proud of you. ughhh some ways good to be out of the house since dads#stressful af to be around and the parents still arent sure about maybe getting a divorce but its also awkward af dynamics here#the rents seem fine for the most part but yeesh. the fall was not good. also i miss my boyyyyyy#anyways. yeah classic NDN thing of your life being fucking run by your aunties somehow work wise#also being asked point blank what i want was like fuck man. what do i want. can u just leave me alone to do hobbies actually...#jk i do enjoy my job. i love research tbh. coordinating stuff less so but it do be a part of it#ok well. whoops rambles on here wayyy more then was expecting
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my review of Moonwalk: hot mess. ★★★.
#i will refer to it#but oh god... it's just#1st of all. the added afterword from 2009 should have been a FOREWORD bc it gives you the context for how this book was made#so they did have a real writer put it together based on long transcripts of interviews one of the publishing people did with mj#if those tapes exist or pieces of then exist i need to find them. i think i've seen some floating around#bc ... the way it's written sounds very michael. it's not well written. so i'm surprised they even had an actual writer do it#but that makes me think maybe the writer just pulled a lot of exact wording from the tapes?#i hope that's how it happened#like the publishing lady said i Also wish michael had been devoted to this project. this could've been really good#i'm interested in anything that comes straight from michael so ultimately i'm just grateful he did a book at all#and really WAS involved in it#but it just. it's a mess. it's disorganized. it's disjointed#it just does not deliver in so many ways#there were so many times i would read a couple paragraphs and be like. wait What. that went Nowhere#there are really wonderful parts of course too#first of all i'm happy to hear him talk about parts of his life he didn't necessarily talk about that much#i find everything he says about motown and esp the mid-late j5 motown years Supremely interesting#everything written about music and dancing and performing is great. seeing the way he thinks about those things. divine. enlightening.#the thing is. the tone is extremely defensive and passive aggressive throughout the whole book#which is amusing and i mostly like it. michael jackson was one petty and spiteful mf. he loved being right and he reiterates that a lot#but bc of the press treatment of more personal things like his appearance and relationships. those parts are just. eugh#like when it comes to music/dance/performance he can defend himself no problem. concrete evidence that he's fucking awesome and he knew it#he brings up dating and stuff and it feels like he was like. floundering. maybe he just couldn't decide how much to share?#idk it just feels like. he won't outright SAY some things but he'll sort of hint at things. and i can't tell if what he's hinting at#is the real truth or him being defensive and wanting to give the impression that he was 'normal' so people would just leave him alone#i can't tell. i really can't. i wanna just believe him but i'm like. wtf do you mean. and then there'll be inconsistencies#like WHAT R U TRYING TO SAY. you might as well just tell me what you WANT me to think and what you want people to stop bothering you about#ok anyways#it definitely feels like they rushed to get it out asap#i have like 10 questions for every page. i feel like a writer/editor should've been working with him in that way
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regrettably ignoring deadlines to finally alter a jerkin i got an entire year ago that was slightly too big
#messages from the ouija board#i bought it for the width but its too long so im taking the shoulders up#im pretty sure u can find a pic of me in it if u search ren faire on my blog#but this year ill be so much sexier#also ill be a whole year plus some on t#and NEXT YEAR god willing ill be titless#still waiting to hear back from my pcp about a referral to the cancer surgeon my aunt recommended#(bc i need like a full mastectomy insteaf of top surgery now. like clearing out the breast tissue in the places they dont usually remove)
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these things are always happening to the ones i like :////////
anyways the lighting in this dungeon is so nice
didn't get any good pics bc i was too busy dungeoning but so pretty...best dungeon music so far goes to snowcloak though btw
#ffxivposting#i knew it was coming bc i tried to use the google search bar as a spellcheck for his name (LOL) like a DUMBASS because in the suggestions..#i was like no!! no!! but he's so funny!!!!!! and the second he showed up in game again i started taking screenshots of me n the bestieee#it wouldnt be accurate to say that i am Emotional about this but i am like aw man...but he was so funny...insert montage of All The Memorie#was crazy seeing her looking so distressed in a cutscene. girl me too! he was so funny </3#the loud ass screenshot sound effects throughout the cutscene were funny though.this is who i am#altogether i have like 150+ screenshots of this game thus far.serious shit#IN OTHER NEWS:#- i cant stop laughing at finding out that a.lphinaud is in fact 16 years old. like i was guessing he was 17 or so but man it checks out#so hard. smart fella or not of course the sixteen year old boy naively founded a private army. it checks out so hard. hes cute :)#- since the tail end of arr patch quests ive been checking npc dialogue of relevant characters and thats a bit of a goldmine sometimes#- the first time aymeric(?) (not double checking via google ive learned my lesson) showed up i joked that he was going to be an akc type#and well no. he's really not. but i did cackle when it was revealed that he was a bastard child. clocked him on accident#- addicted to dalamud red dye. was funny when estinien started rocking his blood red armor like omg now we're Extra twinsies!#funny to me when they acknowledge the whole drg class stuff. like ah yes the Other azure drg. sorry estinien this feels like stolen valor#this is just what happens when u play f.fiv multiple times when u are r like 6. and also just think lances are sexy.#- can't wait to find out where tf the rest of the scions went. hi guys. you wont Believe what happened while you were AFK!#that's right! dragons! and then theyre like I Haven't Seen The Light Of The Sun For An Ambiguous Amount Of Time...cowabummer!#i keep joking abt needing to do a wellness check on urianger but honestly hes fine hes living it up in the sand. hes doing fine#- anyway can someone do a wellness check on ysayle(?).#- i've unlocked flight in a couple zones! thankkk god. some of these places are ROUGH to navigate without it sometimes.#- my keybinds are rough. also i have a gauge now. havent gotten to use it bc of level sync but anyway this feels like school#dont worry chat i only do duties with other real players when i Literally Have To Because They Make Me#- anyway. very ? about what theyre going to do with the rest of this story. intrigued. and quite sleepy i must say.
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Forgot to announce it here but look who I got the other day
#I waited a year for this freak /pos#and I finally got him#my pookie bear#my pookie 😍#I LOVE HIM GUYS#im chewing him like the gum he is#anyway I’m also using this to let y’all know I’m gonna take a small social media break#mental health got silly 😔#plus I’m heading back to California from Ohio tomorrow and will be vry exhausted#but I still am gonna be doing Artfight and some drawings for moots#dm me if u need anything from me !!!#but yee last post for a min#rainbowpufflez rambles
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went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭
#diary#i was honestly abt to strangle EVERYBODY#‘do u have a cigarette’ ‘where’s ur vape’ ‘where are we going’ ‘which bus is it’ ‘do u have a ___’ ‘did u bring ___’ girl what am i DORA w#the magic fuckin BACKPACK ??? while ur UP MY ASS dig around & SEE IF SMTHGS IN THERE 😭😭😭😭#i literally broke sobriety again bc i was just#girl i was so agitated & there was 1 TRAIN LEFT BEFORE 11P so we needed to get the 2ND TO LAST BUS OF THE DAY#i deadass was like ‘if we miss that train i will make sure u all go blind’ ‘did u bring a knife’ ‘I DONT NEED 1’#AKSJAKSKAKKSJSKSSJAKJSKAHSKSHDLASKAKDLA#LIKE U BITCHES SMOKED ALL MY CIGARETTES MY VAPES DEAD MY PHONES DYING UR ALL DRUNK IM GOING TO KILL YALL 😭😭😭😭😭#<- me knowing i could never be a parent#tbh if i caught my kid smoking a cig id make em do the ol ‘im going to sit down in front of u w a fresh box of cigarettes & make u finish#the box or pass out’#YES IM STRICT#i think it’s so funny ok unrelated but like they’ll speak hindi & i’ve just#learned it through being around them kind of like i can’t speak it except for some word u know like matachot etc but i’ll Understand the#Context & what’s being Said#ASLKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA like while waiting for the train back 1 of them was talking abt me being a fool to the others - literally they’re#all indian & i had walked away so when i walked back he was still talkin but then i started giggling bc i knew he was talkin abt me & how i#pinched a bit of the kebab to throw to the seagull bc he offered it to me & i needed to bait the seagull w something & i pinched & tossed &#& he looked at me like 😦 bhenchod ! & then the seagull came over & i was like :D hi bestie <3333 but then when i started giggling after i#walked back he was like ‘what the fuck does he just know hindi now’#it makes me laugh so fucking HARD 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE FUCK U I LIKE TO PARTICPATE IN COVERSATION IDC ABT LANGUAGE#like i’ve been surrounded by yall for the past#girl it’s been like a year i don’t even talk to british ppl or americans#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSLA MESS ! i love to slavsquat & kp hates it bc he’s like ‘we’re in the uk why are u sitting like this’ bc he thinks#it’s ’too indian’ ALSKALSKALSKALJSKAKDLA 😭😭😭😭😭 this hips were made for sitting#we’re definitely going to go back bc it’s SO CLOSE IF WE ACTUALLY USE THE TRANSPORT PROPERLY ITS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR OR SO COMMUTE EACH WAY#bring lunch whatever#i’m exhausted but also socially like bro i had to leave the donner place just to walk around the block for SOME QUIET#i’ve just been sososososo busy LOSING MY MIND
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purchased a pair of shoes.
#they’ll be here sometime next week#i dont buy shoes often so this is big and they’re nice shoes too#both in the sense that they’re real leather and expensive but also bc they’re dressy and i don’t. really have anything like that#i wanted to get loafers but u couldn’t find a pair i liked bc everything was made from vegan leather and o hate that shit#so i got like. balled flats with a strap and they look really cute#i feel bad about the price but also this is just how it is with leather. and also they should last a long time#ughhhhhhh#i need to go thrifting btw#i need some collared short sleeves and maybe i’ll finally find jeans or cool pants#i haven’t bought any clothes except for sweatpants and hoodie for over a year now i think#and these were both sth i actually needed#maybe i’ll wait until march that’s a lucky thrift month in my experience#but also they closed my favourite thrift storeeee ughhhhh#whatever. there are 2 downtown and one near where i live and one near my sisters apartment#ok maybe not near but close enough ig plus if i take a tram from downtown the stop is literally in front of it#maybe i’ll find a dress….#also i need to rebleach some of my hair bc it’s sooo horrendously patchy#like i did. such a bad job oh god#i’ll do it tomorrow i think#but i am enjoying the pink a ton
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