#why are you even awake! you dont need to be! she literally freaked out immediately when waking up today and demanded we take a covid test

[bunnyboy-juice]

i guess this is a vent? idk I'm talk to myself some is all

the thing ab CAB is she will literally experience us having coughing fits every couple of hours overnight, waking up drowsy and dizzy with a sore throat, clutching her stomach as the sick affects the tummy and also the pre-existing GI issues, and brain empty bc sick brain fog + grief brain fog + already have brain problems. and her ass will still try to take over and be like NO WE'RE OKAY EVERYTHINGS OKAY LETS GO TO WORK OKIE DOKIE LETS GO YOU'RE LETTING EVERYONE DOWN (< who i have no idea btw. everyone in my life is telling me to stay home & rest. probably dad cus he doesnt believe in covid but he also doesnt mean shit anymore in our lives bby I promise) LETS GO. like girl. we literally cant even stand without getting dizzy and we got terrible sleep last night AND our boss is letting us "wfh" instead of exhausting our eto. could you be any more .... oh god word dont elude me now ..... whatever. anyway. CAB shut the fuck up challenge

[meltwonu]

| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |

↪ ✦ super duper party people ✦

this chapter pairing; incubus!96z(Jun/Hoshi/Wonwoo/Woozi) x reader

genre&warnings; this is literally a 5-some djfhsd(96z gangbang hskshdksjh). incubus!seventeen, double penetration/anal, blowjobs, handjobs, cum eating, bukakke,  (minor)subspace, tentacles(as if there weren’t enough cocks in this), 2woo(wonwoo/woozi) have a (minor)crying kink don’t look at me, degradation/namecalling/dumbification, dirty talk. ☠️ hooooooly jesus please dont come for me kdfks 😩😩😩

notes; *hypnagogia is that weird threshold between being awake and being asleep where some people experience hallucinations/lucid dreaming/sleep paralysis. Also i have no excuses for this one LMAOOO SKJHFKJH this is def me indulging but thats what halloween is all about right? 🥴 SINS AND DECADENCE!! So enjoy~ have a good day/night!! stay hydrated and I'll see u tomorrow!! (also I accidentally sandwiched this one in between jun and wonwoo’s indiv fics so we got 96z action 3 days in a row kjfhsdkhf)🎃👻 💕

word count; ~3500

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

ooh, all the girls and boys on the dance floor,

and they lose all their heads to the groove of the record;

drink a little velvet so you get into the beat,

strike a bolt of lighting and become a superfreak!

Club Hypnagogia was a small club.

A hole in the wall space tucked away on the further side of town that people tried to avoid after the sun went down. Most people knew it to be where the seedier characters tended to lurk, but the small niche knew it to be where the more supernatural characters gathered instead.

You take a sip of your drink, eyes already focused on the two males standing across the club. It wasn’t as busy tonight which came as a shock to you considering it was Halloween night, but they’d caught your eye as soon as you’d walked in and you found yourself unable to look away.

One was much taller than the other but both of them had the same sultry smirk painted on their lips and you soon found yourself already drawn to their allure as you abandon your drink and make your way across the club.

You already knew what you were in for when you stopped in front of them.

“My, my, such a pretty ‘lil thing, aren’t you?” The taller one comments.

You take in their appearances; red and black outfits that showed off their bodies and they also made no effort to hide their crimson eyes and black horns either.

“You’re Soonyoung’s plaything, correct me if I’m wrong.” The shorter one teases; lips easing into a knowing smile.

“Soonyoung’s? I thought she was Jun’s?”

Oops.

The two of them share a look, brows raised at you as you bite your lip. “Um…”

“Interesting. I take it you’re a regular around here then?” The taller one asks, stepping closer to you as you immediately feel their energy pour over you in an instant. “I---I guess you can s-say that…” You mumble.

“D’you think either of them would get mad about this, Wonwoo?”

“Dunno. Let’s find out.”

Wonwoo and Jihoon.

That’s what their names were.

They came as a set; nothing more and nothing less.

Unlike Soonyoung and Jun who always came individually, unwilling to share their time with you.

“Look at you, crying while you choke on Jihoon’s cock.” Wonwoo laughs, legs crossed as he sits in a chair across the bed. “Does Soonyoung make you cry prettily too? Or maybe Jun?” Jihoon’s hands tangle in your hair, holding you still as he thrusts into your mouth. You gag around his cock as your own fingertips rub at yourself through your panties that already stick to you like a second skin.

“She’s even touching herself while she chokes on my cock like a good fuckin’ cockslut.”

Wonwoo gets up from his seat, cropped top shifting slightly to show off his toned abs and slim waist as he joins the two of you on the king size bed. Thank god for the private rooms, you’d said.

He sizes up behind you, his hand over Jihoon’s as he holds your head still for the other male. “Bet you’re already thinking about both of our cocks inside of you at the same time, huh?” There’s a pause and a smirk from Wonwoo, “You wanna be a good plaything for us and let us use your holes like a good cock hungry slut but what are you gonna do about that mouth of yours, hmm? Nothing to keep it filled.”

Jihoon catches his drift, a smirk of his own plastered onto his features as he cuts your airways off with his cock. “Should we invite some friends? Y’know, somethin’ to keep your mouth busy?”

You feel a shiver run up your spine, head fuzzy at the lightheadedness and the thought of more hands on your already burning skin.

Jihoon pulls his cock out of your mouth as you sputter and drool. “Well?”

“Y-yes…” You croak, stray tears slipping down your cheeks as Jihoon tilts your head up to meet his stare. “What was that? Say it louder.”

“Yes, I---I want… I want m-more… I wanna choke o-on cock while the--the two of you f-fuck my c-cunt and my ass…” Tears spill down your cheek as the lust pools in you and Jihoon is quick to lean down, tongue already lapping up the salty tears. He smirks, “You’re so pretty when you cry, y’know?”

Wonwoo nods, licking his lips. “Especially when you’re begging about wanting more cocks in your pretty body.”

“Christ, the two of you are somethin’ else.” A voice chips in. You sniffle, turning your head slightly to see Soonyoung and Jun standing by the door.

You whimper their names as they step closer to the large bed, both also adorning the same knowing smirk that Wonwoo and Jihoon had when you’d seen them for the first time.

“I’ll admit, I’m not particularly good with sharing but my, are you a sight for sore eyes. Sandwiched between two incubus and still wanting more. Tsk, and I thought I was enough for you.” Soonyoung smirks, fingertips reaching out to cup your tear-stained cheeks.

Jun joins you on the bed, leaning up against the headboard. “I will say, you’re quite the risk-taker for a human. Wanting to get fucked by all four of us at once. Care to give us a reason why we even should?”

You let out a choked sob, lips chapped. “I--it’s ‘cause… I--” The words die on your tongue, slightly embarrassed.

Wonwoo takes the hint, chuckling under his breath. “Lemme guess, human males don’t do it for you, do they? They don’t know what you want. Or rather, when you tell them, it scares them off. You want to be treated like a plaything, holes stuffed full of cock ‘n cum until your brain is just a pile of mush, right? You like it when we use our abilities to make you feel good, our tentacles when they wrap around your pretty throat or when they fuck your ‘lil ass with our cocks shoved deep inside your cunt filling you to the brim with cum until it’s spilling out of you. You’re an ‘freak’ to normal standards. Tell me if I’ve hit the nail on the head, or if I should keep going.”

Your fingers still tucked between your legs press hard into your clit at his filthy words, shaky eyes unsure of who to look at first.

“Y--yes… You��re r-right...” You whisper quietly.

Soonyoung leans in, lips ghosting against yours.

“Then let’s indulge.”

You were used to Soonyoung and Jun both using their ‘abilities’ for added pleasure; almost addicted to the way they each knew exactly what you wanted and needed.

“Hey, fuck, it’s my turn!” Soonyoung grumbles, trying to bat away Wonwoo’s fingers that were knuckle deep in your pussy. 

This was precisely why he never liked sharing.

You were on your hands and knees in the middle of the bed, lips wrapped around Jun’s cock and one hand wrapped around Jihoon’s as you worked them both. Wonwoo and Soonyoung were both behind you, arguing as Wonwoo thrusted his index and middle finger into your tight cunt.

“Cripes, Soonyoung, give us a break. And anyway, who says we both can’t finger her pussy at the same time.” Soonyoung’s annoyed expression turns into one of agreement; spitting on his fingers before he positions them next to Wonwoo’s. He sinks them in and you moan around Jun’s cock at how full you felt with four of their fingers fucking you open and getting you read to take their cocks.

You squeeze Jihoon a little harder when you feel a tentacle slithering across your torso, wrapping itself around your midsection to keep you upright as another two wrap themselves around your breasts. The sensations are almost too much for you to handle, but you try your best to stave off your orgasm for now.

“Hmm, we have her cunt filled up but what about her cute ‘lil ass, huh? Give her what she wants already.” Jun comments. You clench around Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s fingers, whimpering when you feel them both spit onto the puckered rim.

This time, a smaller tentacle slithers up your leg until you feel it prodding at your ass and Jun pulls you off of his cock, licking his lips at the precum and drool that drips onto the sheets under you. “Let’s hear it, princess. How much do you want it?”

Your grip momentarily loosens around Jihoon when Wonwoo and Soonyoung both curl their fingers right into your g-spot. “Pl-please... I--I want… I want you to---to fuh--fuck me… use, ah, my h-holes like I’m your--your toy…”

Jihoon laughs in amazement, “Shit, you’re fuckin’ cute. I could get used to you.”  

Jun rubs the head of his cock against your lips, smearing the precum on them before you part your lips for him once more.

You start a rhythm again, letting Jun fuck your mouth and running your hand up as down Jihoon’s cock as you fuck yourself on Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s fingers. The tentacle slowly eases past the rim of muscle and you moan around Jun’s cock at the fullness you feel when it starts fucking into you as well.

“Hmm~ Look at our 'lil dumb cumslut. Filled up just like she wanted. Must be so happy, huh?” Soonyoung teases.

The urge to cum is strong and you feel your self control starting to slip quicker and quicker, unable to warn any of them when your body suddenly seizes up in between them all.

“Oh~ She’s cumming~” Wonwoo singsongs; wiggling his fingers inside of you as your walls flutter around his and Soonyoung’s fingers.

In an instant, they all pull away from you, watching as your body slumps to the sheets and your whole body trembles. Your fingertips go numb, head muddled at the intensity of your orgasm that you seem to momentarily black out.

“Fuck, she’s so pretty when she cums~”

Your eyes clamp shut with unshed tears and you can’t even tell who’s speaking anymore, but the tentacle wrapped around your waist slowly starts to lift you back into your previous position as you whine in sensitivity.

“Since it’s our first time with our new plaything, why don’t Jihoon and I have the honours?”

“Just say you wanna fuck her ass, Wonwoo, it’s fine.” Jun retorts.

Wonwoo shrugs in return, a cocky smirk on his lips. “Okay, I wanna fuck her ass and Jihoon wants to fuck her cunt. The two of you have already gotten to play with her so it’s our turn, isn't it?” He turns to Jihoon who nods, head tilted in mock thought. “Seems fair to me, ‘Woo.”

Soonyoung and Jun both narrow their eyes at the other males, lips pursed. “Fine.” They comment in unison.

“See, the two of you are capable of sharing.”

“Shut up, Wonwoo.”

You feel yourself being readjusted as Jihoon slides underneath you; hand wrapped around his cock as he positions it at your entrance.

You take a shaky breath, lowering yourself down onto him as you brace your shaky hands on his chest. “Oh, f-fuck…” It takes a moment for you to adjust to his size, clenching around him in a vice grip. “You’re s-so big…” Whimpering, the other three watch on as your, still, sensitive body sits pretty on Jihoon’s waist.

Their hands itch to get onto you; eyes fixated on the way you start to swivel your hips on Jihoon’s lap. “Shit, she’s so tight and wet around my cock…” Jihoon mumbles, hands on your waist to replace the tentacles that’d disappeared again.

“Fuck, okay, please tell me I can fuck you already too.” Wonwoo groans, hand wrapped around his own cock as he jerks himself off behind you.

“P---please, Wonwoo…”

He pushes you down until you’re chest to chest with Jihoon, exhaling harshly when he sees how stretched out your cunt was around the other male’s cock. “Fuck, baby, d’you even think you can take me?” He teases.

You let out a series of whines, shaking your hips slightly when Wonwoo rubs the head of his cock at the tight ring of muscle. “Yes, p-please, it’s--it’s, hah, not my first t-time, you don’t have--have to, ah, treat me l-like glass...” He lets out a small scoff, slowly easing his cock in.

“Okay, but you fuckin’ said it, princess. Once me and Jihoon start fuckin’ you ‘til you break, you can’t complain, okay?”

You nod your head shakily, groaning at the feeling of them both inside of you when Wonwoo finally bottoms out. “Fuckin’ do i-it then, make it s-so I only k-know your cocks, fuckin’ ruin m-me…” You slur out.

Soonyoung whistles in surprise as Jun’s eyes widen. “Shit, do you think we influenced her too much with our energy?” The latter asks, only slightly concerned. Soonyoung kneels to your side, tilting your head up until your lust filled eyes meet his.

“How’re you feeling, baby? Too much?” He asks, leaning down once to kiss you on the lips before he pulls away. “I--I feel g-good… really r-really good…” You swivel your hips, letting the two other males you wanted them to move. And they quickly take the hint as Wonwoo draws his hips back before he thrusts back into you as Jihoon cants his hips up into you at the same time, making you cry out at the way they filled you at the same time.

“Fuh--fuck, please…” You beg, unsure of what you even wanted now that you were close to satisfied. Soonyoung tilts your head back towards his cock, tapping your cheek with the head of it as he smears his precum against your skin.

“Open.”

Your lips part and you stick your tongue out, letting Soonyoung fuck your open mouth as you gag around him. You feel the tentacle come slithering back, wrapping itself around your midsection again just as Jun’s fingertips wrap around your wrist.

“Figured I should help you a little, hmm? Can’t have you falling over Jihoon now, can we?” Chuckling, he brings your hand towards his cock as you slowly wrap your hand around him. You let Soonyoung tangle a hand in your hair as you get used to the feeling of all four of them in and around you.

“She’s such a good ‘lil plaything. Can’t believe neither of you shared before.” Jihoon jokes; reaching up to pinch one of your nipples as you moan around Soonyoung.

“It’s ‘cause her fuckin’ cunt is too good to share. I was being selfish on purpose.” Soonyoung grits out. Laughing, Jun thrusts into your closed fist, “Hey, I was maybe willing to share. Neither of you bothered to ask.”

“Neither of us knew she was this fuckin’ good, genius.” Wonwoo retorts. He places his hands on your ass, blunt nails digging into your skin as he alternates his thrusts with Jihoon. “But hey, now that we do, I guess she’ll be seeing more of us, huh?”

You clench around him and Jihoon, whimpering around Soonyoung, and gripping Jun just a little tighter at the thought of seeing them again. 

You could get used to that. 

“Guess she likes the idea.” Jihoon mutters. “Although, it seems like Soonyoung’s still a little reluctant.”

A certain warmth pours over you, eyes fluttering shut at the sensations overwhelming your body. Your head feels fuzzy and unfocused; body feeling weightless as they continue to fuck into you. This was definitely more than your usual encounters with Soonyoung or Jun. 

The head of Jihoon’s cock grazes against your g-spot and you whine around Soonyoung; thrusting your hips back as you chase the feeling. You do your best to keep your hand on Jun as well, tightening your fist around him as a high pitched whine spills from his lips.

You’re unsure of how much time has passed, only able to focus on the way they all fall into a rhythm that keeps you wanting more.

You needed to cum again.

Wonwoo and Jihoon can feel the way you tighten around them both, doubling their pace as they, too, chase their highs.

Jun’s fingertips circle your wrist, tugging you off of him as he goes to lean against the headboard again. “Hey, Soonyoung, let’s let them have their moment.” He grins, wrapping a hand around his cock as he watches. Soonyoung grunts but nods in agreement, slipping his cock from between your lips as you sputter and catch your breath.

“How’re you feeling, princess?” Soonyoung asks.

“H--huh?” You blink slowly, hazy eyes unable to focus on the male.

“My, my, I think we really did fuck her into our dumb ‘lil cockslut.” Wonwoo laughs, fucking into you faster now that Soonyoung and Jun had eased off. “Isn’t that right? Just a dumb set of holes for us to fuck and play with.”

“Y-yeah…” You whisper; head rolling as Soonyoung rests next to Jun against the headboard. Your body buzzes as you let Wonwoo and Jihoon fuck into you at a harsh pace, losing their rhythm as they feel their impending orgasms.

“I’m gonna cum, f-fuck, cum with us, princess. Let us feel how fuckin’ tight you get for both of us while we fill you up with cum.” Jihoon growls, fingertips reaching down to rub at your clit.

The action proves to be too much as you cum on his command, lips parting in a high pitched cry while you clamp down on both of them. Their hips stutter as they follow suit, cocks snug inside you as they ride out their highs with you. The tentacle wrapped around your waist disappears again in the midst of your orgasm and you feel your body go slack; arms and legs trembling as you do your best to not fall onto Jihoon.

“Hoo~ Isn’t that a sight, Jun? She’s so fucked out of her mind right now, she can barely even hold herself up.” 

You let go of the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, riding out the remnants of your orgasm as Wonwoo starts to pull out of you.

A garbled moan floats past your lips at the feeling and you can’t help but thrust your hips back as you chase for him to fill you up again.

“Chist, she’s insatiable.” Wonwoo quips, eyes hyper-focused on the cum that drips down from your ass. He wraps a strong arm around your midsection after a moment, helping you up as Jihoon slides out from underneath you.

You sit with your legs folded outwards, cum pooling underneath you onto the sheets. It feels warm and sticky; pin pricks on your skin as you sit in the afterglow of your orgasm.

“Our turn~” Jun singsongs, gesturing to Soonyoung who gets up from his place, quicker than lightning.

They each kneel on either side of you, hands wrapped around their own cocks as they jerk themselves off above you. “Tongue out, princess.” Soonyoung groans.

You sit directly in between them as they cum, both of them covering your face and chest in rivulets of the warm, salty substance. It trickles down your hair, to your cheeks and mingles on the bed of your tongue as you grind down onto the sheets underneath you. Their moans draw you in and make you crave more, brows furrowed and eyes clamped shut as a wave of arousal floods your system again.

They all can tell as soon as it happens; eyes flashing a blood red as they, too, gain a new wave of energy from your actions.

Soonyoung and Jun scoot further away as their orgasms ebb off and all four of them pause to admire your body covered in cum.

You draw your tongue back in, swallowing the mix of Soonyoung and Jun’s cum and it’s the latter who leans back in; fingertips swiping at the cum that covers your eyelids. He brings the soaked digits to his lips, licking them clean as you gently open your eyes.

The first thing you see is all four of them in a half circle around you; the same dreamy smile plastered on all of their faces.

Your cheeks burn crimson as the shyness overtakes you with all of their eyes on you at once.

“Um…” You don’t even know what to say next, instead waiting on one of them to take the lead.

Jihoon’s the first one to scoot forward, gentle hands pushing you back down until your back rests against the soiled sheets. He parts your shaky legs, this time leaning over you as he grins.

“Well, we’ve got all night, princess. How about we indulge a little more?”

[q-u-a-c-k]

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.

[7wanderingpaws]

Home arrest. (Jinyoung)

Another request yay! 

This came quickly so I hope it will still be enjoyable. Please let me know what you think and thank you for reading <3 Have a great Friday and weekend! 

Request: - - - Jinyoung x reader - - - (University AU)

The world was an unfair place - that was a fact you knew for a long time being a university student and seeing all the possible disadvantages, etc. However, you could have sworn this one was the worst one out of your entire student life.

“What do you mean you cannot go?” asked your best friend, Nabi. She had this long, black hair that shined beautifully even in the dull lighting of the student cafeteria. She grabbed her iced americano and took a cute sip.

You took off the lid of your hot americano and straight away took one sip. It burned but who gave a damn?! Nabi was about to say something but she almost choked on her own gulp. You swallowed, momentarily dizzy from the burning coffee going down your throat. “Because I have to go to see grandma in the counryside.”

“But can't you postpone it? Come one day later? And that is literally on the other side of the country, Y/N. Changwon is ages away.”

“You know how my father is,” you said, defeated. Besides, you were in quite the trouble at home, being “locked up”. Your father was a very authoritative person that strongly believed in confucianism, therefore there was nothing you could do against him. Yet, you did come home very drunk and very noisy after you managed to nail some hard exams with high scores two days ago. It was like the end of the world at home, but, oh well, you were here feeling very alive.

Nabi made a grimace but didn't dare to comment anymore once the topic turned your father. 

Anyway, you were so ashamed about this fact (you being drunk and then you being “imprisoned in your own home”) that you ended up avoiding your boyfriend Jinyoung. And it was his graduation that you could not attend which broke your heart.

As you were just about to continue with complaints, your KakaoTalk dinged. Not wanting to take it right away, you ignored it when another ding came in. Then another one, then another one. You frowned and looked at Nabi but she was staring at something behind you. Who was i-

“Oh, there you are!” said Jinyoung cheerfully, pushing his phone into his pocket and appearing in your eye sight next to your chair. Nabi had heart eyes and you were trying to stop your heart from beating too frantically. “I was looking for you everywhere, sweetheart. Hey Nabi,” he sent her a charming smile. Nabi covered her face, all red.

That “sweetheart” nickname made you want to cry. “What are you doing here?”

“I finished my meeting sooner than I thought, so now we can be together as much as possible,” he said, his voice slightly raspy. He leaned in, supporting himself with one hand on the table and the other one on your chair. “And you are free now as well, considering your successful exam season.”

You swallowed and didn't dare to look him in the eye. “I actually have to go now.” Before he could even realise it, you were pushing him aside and trying to get up. “I desparately have to be somewhere right now.”

“Oh, yes, you forgot about your media meeting again, didn't you?” Nabi played along, nodding.

Jinyoung looked quite like the confused puppy. His head was turning once to Nabi, once to you, but you were already packing your bag, throwing it over your head. “Wait, Y/N, what media meeting? You're not a media student... Bye Nabi!” he shouted behind his shoulder as you made your way out of the cafeteria. “We should talk about tomorrow.”

Oh no. “Sorry, babe, maybe later? This is pretty urgent,” you said in a monotone voice, not even looking at him. “Catch you later.” You started to jog.

“Y/N!” he said louder, but didn't follow you anymore. He stayed there, laughing in disbelief at what just happened. Usually, you would throw yourself around his neck, giving him a loving peck on the cheek and never leaving his side. And now you looked so panicked for some strange reason.

Obviously, you did not have any media meeting. You took the metro line 9 to your house in Gimpo. Once safely home, you were met with delicious scents coming from the kitchen but even now you didn't feel like eating.

“Y/N? Are you home?” screamed your mum from the kitchen. 

“Yes, I am.” Taking off your shoes, you almost stumbled over. “Oh, for God's sake,” you murmured, very inrritated.

“What did you say, dear?” 

“Oh, nothing. I am home, continuing my home arrest.”

Your mum appeared from the kitchen, looking down the corridor. A typical house-wife, she had her dress and apron on her. “How was it today?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” you said as you went into your room. Your phone was blowing up but you had no guts to answer Jinyoung.

Your mother sighed, worried. “Alright, get your things ready, we are leaving soon for Changwon.”

---

Me (05:58am): Jinyoung, I cant make it today, please dont worry and enjoy it to the fullest. I am sorry

Done. He now was informed that you won't make it and you could just lie in this old bed at your grandmother's and think about the meaning of life... Truthfully, you were so unbelievably irritated, so annoyed and disappointed, you just kept shedding unhappy tears. 

Especially the fact that your grandmother lived in Changwon,  yours and Jinyoung's birthplace. A place where your friendship and later love began. It made you feel this silly bittersweet emotions that were useless.

Your phone beeped once again but you just got up, knowing well that you couldn't afford staying in bed. 

Hard work in the farm began.

---

Three days later, you were back in Seoul. It was very late and you were very tired. You did manage to talk a little bit on the phone with your beloved Jinyoung, but he knew all too well that for some strange reason you were trying to avoid him. He wanted to know why. He wanted to know what happened. It was hurting him so much that you were ignoring him and walking around the issue when he thought you are aware you could tell him anything.

He cared about you so much. He was worried sick you hurt yourself when you fell on that bicycle trip you two took, he hated when he saw you cry for any reason unless it was out of happiness, he was uneasy when he knew you had to face stressful situations and couldn't be there to accompany you. . . He didn't think you were a child or dependent on him, no. He simply, plainly loved you, adored you and wanted to make sure his love is always feeling good and comfortable.

That's why he found himself in the darkness, right in front of your house. It was all silent, your parents probably asleep at this hour. But he knew you would be awake. The tiny light from your nightstand lamp said it all. 

Jinyoung was certainly an athletic type, having competed in a few baseball games and much more football games for the university team. He grasped the ladder that your father put there after working in the little garden you had and pulled himself up, making sure no noise was made.

Back in your room, you were neatly folding your clothes, unpacking your tiny suitcase you brought to Changwon. Silent music was coming from your laptop until you heard your phone beep with a message.

You sighed, knowing well who it was but you still took it, reading the message without unlocking your phone. 

My love (23:46pm): Open your window 

You tried not to panic as your head snapped up looking straight into Jinyoung's eyes. Behind the window. He was balancing, barely managing and you took in a sharp breath immediately dropping the lovely summer dress you had in your hands. You unlocked the window and opened it, grabbing Jinyoung's arm and pulling him forcefully inside, until both of you fell on the floor, him on top of you. Yay, long live the clichés!

You were breathing heavily. “What are you doing here?” you whispered loudly. His eyes bored into you, they seemed so lost and yet so happy to see you after one week of constant avoidance. He pressed his lips to yours hurrily without giving any answer and you immediately gave in, closing your eyes and finally wrapping your arms around his neck. You were trying to pull him as close as it was physically possible.

After a heated three-minute make-out session, you became rather uncomfortable on the floor and squirmed under him. 

“No,” said Jinyoung strictly, making you freeze. “You are not going to escape me this time.”

Your chest was going up and down. “What.”

“Why were you avoiding me? What happened?”

“Jinyoung, if my father finds you here-”

“Answer me.”

“He is going to kil-”

“Goddamit, what is wrong?” he said, a bit louder which made you slap your hand onto his mouth. He grinned cheekily and said, muffled: “I will talk louder to wake your father up if you don't answer me right now, Y/N.”

You closed your eyes again, praying for two seconds. “I can't tell you.”

He frowned. No answer came to his mind.

“I cannot tell you, because I am ashamed about it.”

Now he forgot about his little threat and sat up properly, finally letting you breathe. “Did you do something?”

“I...”

“You didn't attend my graduation. You were one of the only people I was hoping to share this memory with, are you aware of it?” Jinyoung's face was torn apart and still managed to look authoritative. “Are you?” he asked again.

“Im so, so sorry,” you lowered your head. “I truly am, Jinyoung.”

“I need a reason.”

“There is no-”

“Tell me right now. Or else,” he started to take in a big amount of breath, ready to shout to wake your father up. Ugh, what a freaking savage tease!!!

 “Okay, okay, okay, just shut up,” you said pressing your index finger to his lips. He smirked and gave your finger a kiss. “I am in a home arrest kind of thing and I was ashamed about it so I didn't want to tell you. That last day at uni I was not going to a meeting but home.”

“What? You were in a home arrest?”

“Shhhhhh, don't talk so loudly!” you scream-whispered.

“But you are old enough to take care of yourself now.”

You sighed. “I know, but my father doesn't think that. Anyway, this is the truth, now get out before he discovers you here.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I don't care. I already spent too much time without you.”

You sighed as he hugged you once again, rocking you from side to side. Suddenly, the entire thing became so absurd for you; you were now ashamed for being ashamed.

“I have an idea,” whispered Jinyoung and pulled away just a little bit so he could see your eyes. “What about spending the summer in Changwon? Your grandmother would be over the moon and so would be your parents. You barely see her anymore, ever since we moved up to Seoul.”

You blinked, stunned at how good that idea sounded. A few seconds of considering, and you both were chuckling. “I'd love that.”

He let out a breathy laugh and leaned in to kiss you, combing your hair out of his way. “Then I guess we have one hell of a great summer coming up.”

[blossomingx]

Aside from watching the reputation stadium tour last night, this entire weekend has been HORRIBLE. So I’m just going to rant a little to blow off some steam.

Friday - the day before the concert - I plan to do all the last minute things I need so I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I double check my room reservations, flights, rental, tickets... all the necessary things. I got my eyebrows threaded and it’s a new lady at the place I go to, and even tho I was hesitant on weather or not I should do them with her, I still did. Big. Mistake. She CUT MY EYELID. I was full on bleeding. And to top it off, she thinned the hell out of them after I told her NOT TO. Everyone with a face knows that bad eye brows equal a bad time. So there’s Bad Thing #1.

Next day, we get up early and make our flight in time. Everything is going smoothly. My sisters came with me and we always fight. But I guess the excitement of seeing Taylor kept us in a good mood. So, we land in Dallas and o call to confirm my rental (just to be EXTRA sure) and the dude says there’s no reservation for me for that day even though I paid for it over the phone when I booked. He said he’d return my money. Uh! I need a car! So, now we have to bust out money for an Uber. There’s Bad Thing #2.

Finally we figure out how to work Uber (we never used it before because is not available in our town) and we get to our hotel. We got a good rate for a night, so when the receptionist tells me to hand my card over and she will be charging me TRIPLE what I booked the room at, I flipped out. Bad Thing #3. (Side note: after yelling like a psychotic mother we got our room at the price I initially booked it at, but still. It took some arguing and embarrassment.)

We finally get ready and head over to the AT&T Stadium. Got there just in time with a few minutes before doors open, and didn’t even have to wait in the heat for long before we got in. FINALLY WE’RE HERE and it’s such a relief! We get in line to buy merch and the whole time the family behind us are talking about how ridiculous it is that a whole group of 4 girls are in front of them. (We were that group.) Why, I don’t know. The lines were long everywhere, and to say that lines existed at all is a lie. It was a crowd of people pushing and shoving trying to get to the front. And for some reason, it was OUR fault for the huge crowds and unidentifiable lines. Standing in line with a obnoxious parent behind us brings us to Bad Thing #4.

We get to our seats and are enjoying the environment, you know, getting hyped for Charlie XCX to come out. We were on the side where people are going back and forth from back stage to the front, so we try to get their attention in hopes of getting upgraded to the pit. A group in front of us got upgraded by chance and we were a bit upset because they were just sitting there on their phones and we were actually enjoying ourselves. The same man that upgraded them came up to us and told us he’d be back to get us in to the pit. We were EXCITED. We were actually going to get to be in the pit! He said he’d return so we waited.. and waited... and waited... he never returned. We were heart broken! Just our luck I guess. Bad Thing #5.

Charli XCX comes out and she was great! We didn’t know all her songs but her set was great and I loved her energy. Crowd was so loud already; I couldn’t wait for Taylor any longer. Suddenly three girls drink out of their minds pile into one seat next to me and are bumping and grinding on themselves - and on me - while Charli is performing and it kills my mood big time. I don’t know why or how they got away with that, but they did. As soon as her set was done, they disappeared. But they managed to leave behind their beer all over my shoes. Great. Bad Thing #6.

Camila is next and my sisters and I agree to ignore what happened and not let it ruin the night. Camila comes out and two of the three girls come back. One of the girls seems a bit out of it, but we don’t let her keep our attention. Camila was soooo great I loved her set so much! You can see her emotion during her performance and just how passionate she is about her music. I loved her! During her last song, I felt a huge hit in my thigh and look to see it’s the girl that was completely out of it. Her head. Was on. My. Freaking. Thigh. What in the world?! I pushed her off only to realize she is passed out wasted. Bad Thing #7.

During the intermission between Camila & Taylor, this girl is making a scene for herself. Her friend is telling her to eat or drink something, but she won’t budge. I’m livid. Is this really going to be the person that ruins what I’ve been looking forward to for the past year!? Her friend is yelling now. “Get up!! What the fuck are you doing?! I hate you! GET UP!” You guessed it people, this girl was on the floor. Our entire section is freaking out. Security is now surrounding this girl. She isn’t awake anymore, but she isn’t asleep either. Security told us that as soon as she stands up we need to tell them so the can escort her out immediately. Once security leaves, the functioning girl full on BEGS us not to call them because she loves Taylor and blah blah blah. I wasn’t having it. So this mess of a scene is Bad Thing #8.

The group behind me taps my shoulder and says to me - jokingly, “you’re on baby sitting duty tonight!” Uh, what? Hell no I’m not. I quickly responded “she’s moot my friend and I didn’t pay $200 to watch some one that can’t handle alcohol” and they gasp. What did they want me to say, yesill watch her? HELL NO. Anyway, Taylor comes out -FINALLY. We see her right as she walks into the stage then the lights go down and we’re screaming for Taylor. The moment is finally here! I’m looking forward to the intro because it is ICONIC. I press record on my phone and 20 seconds in I hear and feel it all over my legs and feet. Yup, she just vomited. All over me. I’m PISSED at this point I could punch her in the face. I missed the whole intro. Her friend is yelling I HATE YOU STUPID BITCH and yelling at me PLS DONT CALL SECURITY. What was I supposed to do!? Bad Thing #9.

Taylor was amazing. Breathtaking show. It was literally sooooo perfect. & I love to record everything so I couldn’t wait to replay the show when I got to the hotel room. After an hour of repetitive Uber cancellations (Bad Thing #10), we finally get to our room. I’m looking for my favorite performances of Taylor so I can post, and in every single video you can hear this girl yelling at her drunk friend about how much she hates her. Every! Single! Video! I have no good content except for my memory. Bad Thing #12.

Next morning (today) we miss our flight because someone in our flight security line was making a scene. Greaaaat. They couldn’t let us go and handle the man on the side? Nope. They make countless people miss their flights. Bad Thing #13.

So now I’m writing thing long post because we’re on stand by for the remainder of the day praying we get to go home today. I just want this weekend to end. I miss my kids!!! If you got this far down my post, I’m going to assume you’re bored, or you are evil and find humor in the awful weekend I’m still experiencing. I’ll feel better when I’m home!!!

[janethepegasus]

BMC Miraculous Ladybug AU RP Thing: Purge Akuma

An RP me and @pika-ace did relating to the BMC Miraculous Ladybug AU, where an Akuma brings The Purge to life.

(The Akuma flies above the city, he smirks and casts a spell upon the city) Akuma: Time for the real life Purge to begin! >:) (A couple of seconds later, everyone jolts up from their beds, hearing the sound of a loud siren)

Jeremy: God, why are all akuma’s like this?!?

(Suddenly, an announcement echoed throughout the city, talking about something called "The Purge")

Michael: Wait...no...NO we are NOT in that god awful movie!!

(As soon as the word "Purge" was heard by Jane, she immediately bolted out of her room and started dragging every precious thing she can think of into her room. Joe

walks out of his room and sees Jane dragging the shelf that once contained the Miraculouses)

Joe: ...I’m assuming you know what this purge means?

Jane: YES I FUCKING DO! It's when every crime in the nation becomes legal MEANING that during the Purge, it's A OK to break into someone's house! So i'm NOT gonna let

ANY Miraculous related thing you own get stolen by some freak!!

Joe: O_O

Jane: So yeah, gotta put every single precious thing in the house in my room!

(Joe nods and pulls out his phone for a group text, telling everyone to meet up and to be extra careful)

Eric: *text* Alright, meet you there!

(Joe nods and closes the text and looks up to see Jane running back to her room but carrying Kirsty) Joe: How did you...? Jane: ADRENALINE. Kirsty: Janey, I know my parents are out of town but you didn’t have to break me out of my own house... Jane: I DONT CARE! EVERYTHING PRECIOUS STAYS CLOSE TO ME

(Jane puts Kirsty in her room and runs out only to get Mittie)

(She then sits in her pile of stashed objects, holding Kirsty and Mittie close) Joe: ...Alright then I’ll...be back soon...

Jane: Wait Dad, stay! I know you're a Miraculous Holder but i don't want to loose you in whatever hellstorm is gonna brew up out there! D:

Joe: Jane, an akuma is causing this, and I’m not letting my children fight this without me!

Jane: I've SEEN clips and trailers for the Purge movies! I learned the basics of how this goes! Even if an Akuma is doing this, i don't want you getting killed by some

maniac! *she lets go of Mittie and Kirsty, then she holds onto Joe's arm* You're just as precious to me as everything and everyone else i care about!

Joe: Jane...what kind of father would I be if I hid while the rest of my children risk their lives out there? I have to do this to protect them, and you.

Jane: *looks at Joe for a few seconds and squeezes Joe's hand* If you're gonna do this...just please...PLEASE...be careful...i...i don't know...what i'll do...if i

loose you, Dad... *starts tearing up*

Joe: I will, darling. You be brave and stay safe, and keep these two out of trouble. *winks at Kirsty and Mittie*

Kirsty: We’ll be okay! (Joe gives a little kiss on Jane’s forehead) Jane: Please be okay, Dad...

Joe: I will... (He transforms and flies off)

(Jane holds onto Kirsty and Mittie, as Owl leaves the house)

(Owl flies to a roof where the other holders are waiting)

Leo: There you are Owl Dad!

Owl: Did everyone arrive safely?

Hound: Yep!

Owl: Good; hopefully this won’t be like Party Maniac Where we get separated and captured. Tiger: Knock on wood. Owl: So we have to find the akuma

Timber: Yeah, and once we do, we beat the crap out of him! Like we usually do.

Coral: I still can’t believe we’re living this stupid movie...

Owl: How is this "stupid"? From what i heard from Jane, it actually sounds terrifying having a day where every crime in the nation be legal.

Leo: Yeah, but they never explain WHY or HOW it works and causes World Peace! Pacific: I hear the other movies are better since it’s really just a ploy from the government to kill off all the poor people

Owl: O_O Well, i have to disagree with the fact this “Purge” causes World Peace. Peace cannot be achieved through death and destruction, and using it to eliminate the

poor is just sick and wr- Cyber: Can we talk about those films AFTER we deal with the Akuma?!

Atlantic: PLEASE

Owl: Fine...

(They start looking for the akuma)

(As they search for the Akuma, they look and see that a couple of people have taken advantage of the Purge, such as people breaking into stores and stealing whatever

they want)

Swan: It looks like no ones stooped to murdering yet

Timber: Yeah... (Suddenly, Timber’s ears perked up, hearing the sound of a dog crying)

Timber: Oh HELL no...! (He immediately jumps away from the group towards the noise) Cyber: Jordan?!

(Timber follows the noise until he sees a man cornering a dog, shaking and crying in fear) (The man raises a gun near the dog with a wicked grin on his face)

Man: No more howling at 2am for you! Finally I can get some sleep!

(Timber glares at the man and leaps down towards the dog)

(He knocks the gun away just as it fires, making it fire into the air) Timber: Hey now, what kind of prick goes around shooting innocent dogs for fun? >:(

Man: The ones who want some FUCKING sleep! >:(

Timber: It’s a STRAY! It doesn’t know any better!

Man: Who cares?! It’s been keeping me awake every single night! About time I shut that little fucker’s face for good! >:(

Timber: Okay then... (He sucker punches the man and knocks him out)

Timber: That’ll teach ya! >:( (He looks at the stray dog, who’s tail was wagging at Timber)

Timber: Okay, buddy, head back to where ya came from and stay outta trouble, okay?

(The dog barks and walks away)

(Timber smiles as the dog walks away, then he jumps up and runs to reunite with the group)

Cyber: Jordan! What on earth was that about, you scared me to death!

Timber: I saved a stray from a psycho, that’s what I did.

Hound: Awwwww dad!! Looking out for my army :Dc

Timber: Yep! No dog’s gonna get killed tonight or ever! >:(

Atlantic: There are some real scumbags out there...

Leo: Yeah...

(They keep looking)

(After a few minutes, they hear a car explosion followed by gunshots)

Frill: Okay, NOW it sounds like we’re in a Purge movie!

(They look and see two large groups of people having an all out war with each other)

Timber: *listens to the yelling* Oh... -_- (The other strong listeners listen in too) Hound: Well... Tiger: I’m not THAT shocked...

(The non-strong listeners look at them with a confused look) Cyber: What? What are they yelling about?!

Scarlet: Sports!

Cyber: ...They're having an all out war...over sports? -_-

Pacific: Oh...that makes sense...sports fans are bloodthirsty...

Dasher: They pull off all kinds of crazy shit all because their team lost or something... -_-

Timber: And judging by this...this could get ugly...

Leo: Yeah, let's get out of here before things get worse... O_O

(They Head off and keep looking)

(As they keep going, more noises and sounds can be heard, like car crashes, more gunshots, screams, and at one point, every screeched to a halt as they saw a whole

bunch of big fireworks go off)

Jade: Goodness...! O_O

The dude that lighted up the fireworks: YEAH BABY! LIGHT UP THE SKY!! WOOOOO!!!! >:D

Maiden: *shudders remembering Party Maniac* Whew! Bad memories...

Cloudy: Yeah! (In the corner of Dasher’s eye, he sees someone walking out with a bunch of DVDs labeled “Hamilton Bootleg”) Dasher: *GASP* >:O

Timber: *takes his shoulder* Pick your battles Speedy...

Dasher: B-B-But THAT asshole has bootlegs of MY SHOW!! >:(((

Papillion: Bootlegs aren’t THAT bad you know...it lets people see shows that they can’t afford... Hound: Plus it’s IMPOSSIBLE to get tickets to YOUR shows

Dasher: True...but seeing those bootlegs doesn't have the same magic as seeing them live... :(

Natura: Trust me, we know Papillion: If anything, bootlegs make us want to see them live even MORE

Dasher: Wait, really?! O_O

Hound: You think we LIKE watching shows with shitty visuals and audio?! It sucks!! But it’s the best we got so we suck it up

Dasher: *crosses his arms* Even though that kind of stuff is pretty much illegal to make, i...can see why you're all willing to do that... :/

Atlantic: Can we please discuss all these illegal things AFTER shit isn’t blowing up??

Dasher: Oh! Right! Man, we are getting off-topic tonight, aren't we? XD

Leo: Yeah XD (They head off)

(They keep going, hearing and seeing all the things people are doing in the Purge, until they see where the Akuma's "lair" is. The Akuma settled himself in City Hall,

walls painted in blood red paint and a large army of mind controlled soldiers with guns and masks on their faces stand in front of city hall)

Leo: Of course -_-

Tiger: Sooo...do we fight the army of soldiers or do we just simply break in? :/c

Inferno: I think we'd all prefer to break in and get out of this with as little blood as possible XS

Cyber: Yeah, the last thing we need is a little bloodshed *looks at Timber* Especially you, Jordan.

Timber: Then don't put yourself in a position to get hurt. *passive aggressive stares*

Cyber: I won't, hopefully...

Ursa: Maybe you should stop being a human shield for once. Timber: Maybe you should mind your goddamn business. >:(

Ursa: Oh, i'm sorry! Didn't mean to OFFEND the living shield for ONE man who literally has the power to defend himself if he activates it! >:(

Timber: Adrenaline makes you do stupid shit, Matt! And for your information, Silver Claws DOESN'T make me invincible, I'd STILL get stabbed or shot! >:(

Ursa: Even so, your HUSBAND, as Cyber Shock, can defend himself! He can use electricity for whatever he wants! Hell, he could electrocute a foe if he wanted to! With

that kind of power in his hands, he doesn't NEED a living shield defending him! >:(

Hound: To be fair, this usually happens when Cyber has no time to defend himself or shock away the problem...

Ursa: So? Even in those kind of scenarios, you SHOULDN'T be risking your own life just so Eric could live! >:(

Atlantic: GUYS!!! Akuma now, controversial romantic bullshit later!! >:(

Timber: ...Fine *glares at Ursa*

(They sneak above the army and break into the building)

(Once they got into the building, they see a large group of mind controlled soldiers, standing there and ready to fire at them)

Tiger: ...Fuck. Frill: *jumps in front with Coral* IMMUNE SHIELD!! (Everyone ducks behind Coral and Frill as the soldiers open fire, hitting the shield and Coral's shell)

Leo: Jesus Christ!! O_O

Pacific: Thank god for shields!!!

Tiger: Yeah!!

(Eventually the bullets run out)

(The soldiers immediately throw the guns away and pull out knifes, bats, and other weapons)

Dasher: Okay, close combat! Much better! (They fight)

(The soldiers and the Armada fight each other, the Soldiers wanting to deal heavy blows on them. During the fight, while Timber was busy trying to beat up a soldier,

another soldier sneaked attacked Cyber and used a sharp knife to make a deep cut on Cyber's arm)

(Cyber screams and clutches his arm before shocking him)

(Timber hears Cyber's scream)

Timber: Will?! Cyber: I'm okay...!

(They keep fighting for a while, eventually, they manage to beat all the soldiers. However, the whole Armada had bloody cuts, stab wounds, and bruises all over their

bodies, Atlantic and Timber being the only ones to have bloody broken noses)

(They all stand together, breathing heavily)

Owl: Thank the heavens...we all...miraculously...survived...

Hound: Pun...intended...?

Owl: No...it's...a miracle...we lived...through this...brutal brawl...

Tiger: Dude...it's a joke...we're 'Miraculous' holders...and...we did something...MIRACULOUS...

Owl: Oh...forgive me...that fight...really messed with my mind...so i wasn't thinking straight...

Leo: Let's just...get the akuma...

Timber: Yeah...let's...go...

(They make it to the main office)

(They see the Akuma, sitting in the office chair like a throne. He looks at the Armada and smirks widely)

Akuma: You all made it, bravo

Akuma: And look at all of you! I'm surprised you all survived my soldier defense squad! >:)

Tiger: Don't...fuck with us...

Akuma: Well *gets up from the chair* now i'm gonna fuck you all up more! >:)

Atlantic: Great...fuck you...

(The Akuma leaps towards them and they start fighting)

(The holders shakily fight, still exhausted from the soldiers)

(The akuma takes advantage of this by grabbing the chair and throwing it at Cyber, and it hits)

(The chair hits Cyber and he falls down and struggles to get up)

Timber: WILL...!!

(Cyber tries to shock him, but the akuma stomps on his chest and pulls out a knife) Akuma: Say goodbye! (Right when he's about to stab, Timber steps in and blocks it with his claws)

Akuma: What the?!

Timber: You keep away from him!! *pushes the akuma off Cyber*

Akuma: AH! *stumbles as Timber pushes him away*

Cyber: Jordan...

Timber: Will!

(Timber helps him up) Timber: You okay? Cyber: Yeah...and look at that, you saved me in a way that didn’t involve you getting hurt ;)

Timber: Heh, yeah! :)

Timber: But let’s not get our hopes too high while it’s still chaos

Cyber: Yeah...

Akuma: *growls at Timber* So...tough guy, huh? Swooping in to save the damsel?

Timber: Yes, that's what i do if Will's in danger! >:(

Akuma: How touching...

Akuma: Well, if you're willing to save HIM *he quickly grabs Leo and Hound and lifts them up by the neck* Will you save them? >:)

Cyber and Timber: HEY!!

(The Akuma tightens his grip on Leo and Hound, waiting for Cyber and Timber to act)

(Cyber then shoots lightning at the akuma at rapid speed, making him let go of the boys)

Akuma: GAH!

(The boys run to their dads)

Leo and Hound: DAD!

(They push the boys behind them) Timber: Stay behind us, boys.

Hound: Alright...!

(Cyber and Timber glare at the akuma)

(The Akuma glares back at them)

Akuma: Well, what a nice little family we have here

Akuma: Even so, you’re all in a pretty bad shape to do anything! I like to see you all try taking me down! >:)

Timber: Yeah...but at least there's 29 of us...and only one of you...

Dasher: Even if your little army fucked us up, we can still fuck YOU up! >:(

(The fight continues)

(The Holders try the best the can to give it their all against the Akuma, inspite their injuries.)

(The akuma manages to keep up with all of them due to them being tired and slightly injured)

Timber: Come on...!! (They keep fighting)

Akuma: God this is annoying...do you know how hard it is to pick a hostage with this many heroes? >:(

Timber: Wait, what?!

Akuma: I didn't want to do this, but I had to think outside the box if I wanted to keep you down...so I did. >:) (He opens a cabinet, revealing Jane curled up inside, looking a bit ruffled from being taken; she looks up at the holders, but doesn't move or speak) Akuma: Don't worry about that; she knows that if she makes a peep or a move then her little girlfriend's done for. >:)

Owl: JANE!!

(Jane tears up, but doesn't speak as she stares at him)

(Owl glares at the Akuma, anger building up)

Jade: What did you do with Kirsty?! Akuma: The runt? Oh she's somewhere else in this building, but all I have to do is press a button *holds up a remote* And she's done for. (Jane squeezes her eyes shut and hugs her knees in despair)

(Owl fumes with anger upon seeing Jane hugging her knees in despair)

Owl: You're a monster...!

Akuma: Of course i am! I'm an Akuma after all! >:)

(The holders glare at him) Leo: *softly* now what?!

(Cyber looks at Owl, who's shaking in anger)

Cyber: *softly* We need to find Kirsty, or at least get that remote away from him...

Timber: *softly* Yeah...

Karma: *softly* Leave that to me... Camouflage...!

(Karma turns invisible)

(He sneaks around to the akuma, eyes on the remote)

(Once he got close to the Akuma, he snatches the remote out of the Akuma's hands)

Akuma: What the-?! (Owl then storms forwards and punches the akuma’s face, HARD)

(The Akuma gets knocked down to the ground and Owl pins him down by the neck, glaring and growling at the Akuma in rage)

Owl: You have CROSSED THE LINE!!

Owl: No one shall EVER harm MY DAUGHTER AND HER GIRLFRIEND!! >:(((((

Owl: Now where did you put Kirsty?!

Akuma: Erk...i'm not...telling...! >:(

Dasher: I’ll scour the building; gimme ten, fifteen seconds tops >:(

Owl: Do it as fast as you can, Dasher! Dasher: Yes sir! *runs off*

(Ten seconds later, he comes back) Dasher: I found her! Jade: ...And? Dasher: ...And we’re gonna need some special treatment to get her out in one piece...

The Trinity: WHAT?!

Dasher: Yeeeah theres shit involving a guillotine and I think I saw some fireworks and trip wires down there, guy spared no expense...

Owl: *glares at the akuma* ...You were going to ANNIHILATE Kirsty?!?! >:((( *tightens his hold on the akuma*

Akuma: Erk...!! (Leo and Hound get Jane out of the cabinet and comfort her)

(Jane holds onto Leo and Hound tightly, letting out a few sobs)

Hound: It’s okay, we’ll get Kirsty back... (The kids gather around them for extra comfort)

Timber: Alright...how are we gonna get Kirsty out of there in one piece?

Cyber: Dasher, lead us to where she is; Timber, Atlantic, Jade, Scarlet, with me, the rest of you make sure the akuma doesn’t get away...

Ursa: *nods* Alright.

(They follow Dasher and they lead him down to the basement of the building)

(Once they got to the basement, they see Kirsty and everything else around her)

(She’s tied up and her head is under a guillotine; the whole room is packed full of explosives and tons of trip wires are set up that one wrong move would either set

off the explosives or the guillotine)

Scarlet: Oh god, baby sis...!!

Kirsty: *crying* Help....

Jade: D-Don't worry...! We'll get you out Little Sister! Somehow...

Cyber: Oh boy...

Timber: Yeah, we gotta think of some way to get her out of there without triggering anything... :/c

Cyber: Quantum Analysis!

Dasher: Oh! Kinda forgot you could do that! (A visor appears in front of Cyber’s face, observing and analyzing the area)

(He gathers the data) Cyber: Oh boy... Timber: What? Cyber: There’s a solution but...there’s a VERY small window for error... Scarlet: How small? Cyber: Microscopic Atlantic: So...If we mess up ONE little thing- Cyber: Kirsty won’t make it...

Scarlet: Ooooooh... O_O

(Everyone looks uneasily at the set up)

Timber: So if we want Kirsty alive...we gotta do this PERFECTLY. No mess-ups, no mistakes.

Cyber: Yes...okay, I think I got this...this should work...

Timber: So what's the plan, Peach?

(Cyber directs everyone to their proper positions)

Dasher: Alright, let’s do this!

(They execute the plan, and the trinity slowly make their way to Kirsty, but at the very end, right when Jade is seconds from disarming the guillotine...) Tiger: *opens the door* Guys!! You down here! (Everyone jumps and Jade knocks into one of the wires holding up the blade and it breaks, the blade falling towards Kirsty's neck)

Atlantic: OH FUCK!!

(Everyone screams in horror) Scarlet: NOOOOOOOOO!!! (Scarlet leaps up right between Kirsty and the blade and stops it between his hands, milimeters from his own face)

Dasher: Holy shit! O_O

(Cyber just about collapses to his knees from shock) Timber: DAMN kid!! Good reflexes!!

Scarlet: Erk...thanks...!

(Jade quickly jumps down and removes the blade and pulls Kirsty out while Scarlet collapses in relief)

Scarlet: Thank god...!

(Jade unties Kirsty who clings to him tightly)

Jade: You're safe now, little sister...thank god we saved you...

Kirsty: Y-Yeah...

(Kirsty keeps clinging onto Jade tightly)

Cyber: My god...that tiny window for failure shouldn't have been possible to fix...but Scarlet did it...!

Timber: Yeah, holy damn...! O_O

Scarlet: Never again...

Atlantic: Yeah...that was too close...

Dasher: Let's just get out of here, get the akuma and restore the damage before we all die of heart attacks...

Cyber: Y-Yeah...let's go...

(Jade carries Kirsty and they leap over the explosives to the stairs and they all hurry out of the basement)

(They run down the hall and towards the main office)

(They burst into the room, hearts still pounding from what happened) Leo: Whoa, you okay? Cyber: Yes, just...had a very close call...but we're okay... (He steps aside, revealing Jade carrying Kirsty)

Jade: And...she's okay...thank god...

Jane: KIRSTY!!! (She runs up and takes her from Jade)

(Jane hugs Kirsty tightly)

(Jane peppers her with kisses) Jane: Oh my god, Kirsty...!!

Kirsty: Janey...!!

Jane: God I was so scared...

Kirsty: Me too...!

(Owl sighs in relief and yanks the akuma off)

(He crushes the Akuma and a black bird flies out)

(Cyber purifies it) Owl: Time to end this nightmare. Cyber: *nods* Restore the Damage!

(A ring of electricity flies out and restores all the damage)

(Everything is fixed and everyone is returned home) Hound: Oh thank god...

Coral: Let's get out of here, these late night akumas always fuck up by beauty sleep schedule...

Owl: Yes, but... *looks at the injuries that were given to the soldiers earlier* We're all pretty beaten up from those soldiers...

Tiger: Nothing a few bandages can't fix, no need to spend the night in a stiff hospital bed Pacific: Yeah; can everyone still walk in a straight line?

(Everyone raises their hand, however Cyber glares at Pacific, gesturing the deep cut wound on his arm)

Pacific: Okay yeah, but you can still walk with that. Tiger: More like we know your hubby's gonna carry you everywhere >;3

(Before Cyber could say anything, Timber immediately scoops him up and carries him in his arms) Timber: You red my mind! XD

Cyber: God why... Tiger: Dude, you're married and love dovey now, no need to be embarrassed

Timber: Yeah, come on Peach, you know that by now! XD

Owl: *picks up Jane and Kirsty* I'll escort these two home; I imagine Kirsty doesn't want to be alone tonight. (Kirsty frantically shakes her head and keeps clinging to Jane)

Jane: Of course not...

Timber: *to Cyber* Think you can teach me how to make a good arm cast? ;)

Cyber: ...Sure...

Leo: That's probably a good call, if people hurt each other during this, hospitals are gonna be SUPER crowded

Hound: Yeah and no room for us! XS

(They all leave and head back home)

[diaryofsecrecy]

It has been the most exhausting year of my entire life and I will be surprised if I ever top it...

Brent was having a hard time adjusting to the altitude when we 1st came out here, (July 8th 2020) But as time went on he got better as expected. Then suddenly he got worse and worse, Eventually he lost the job that he got because he was calling out so often throwing up and experiencing extreme nausea.  Because of covid, the doctors were booked for weeks (new patient) so it was just kind of a waiting game until we finally decided to just go to the ER.  They did a full blood panel and decided that he needs to see a GI doctor because everything else is normal. So, That was booked 2 weeks out and he was sent home with nausea medication for one week...

Of course we were going to try to buy or rent so I was freaking out about money and working as much as I possibly could... But then I too had to go to the emergency Room because I had extreme abdominal pain resulting in an emergency appendectomy😖

The day after my surgery, I am home, when my dad comes in with my older sister.

To my knowledge, my older sister was diagnosed paranoid schizofrantic. She has been Homeless for the last 11 years,  And on drugs.  She recently was beaten so badly that she was left with several brain injuries on top of it all, And while she was healing at the hospital somehow they didn't notice her walk out.  We were just about to get her placed somewhere safe...And they lost her.

Anyhow dad walks in with my sister who I guess called him from a coffee shop when they told her that she couldn't sleep there anymore (after a month of being missing again) Dad had to go back to work so then it was me & her for the next 2 days, As you can imagine, not the rest I needed post surgery... then, I had to go back into the hospital because something wasn't right. I was there for 3 more days, 2 days alone because ben was so sick that it was worse with him being there than me sitting by myself in pain and nausea of my own.

Fast forward a few more months, tragic accidents led to 2 separate deaths of my parents dogs. Both events I happen to be present, so get blamed & am no longer welcome at mom & dads.

(Still healing from sugury, brent still very sick)

We get an apartment, and I start working as a nanny for my aunt twice a week while working at Massage Envy the other 5 days.

At this point, I am tired. I am horney, and lonely, and Absolutely. Fucking. Miserable.

I am begging ben to keep up with drs. but he has lost hope of getting better, and I have no way of helping him when I am already worn too thin.

After 9, Long, long months, he eventually, with my consistent pushing, nagging, most likely not always kind remarks, he finds out his hormones are completely off, which I knew would be the case, his dick hadnt worked for the last 3 years properly..

Anyway. He blames his addiction medication rather than continuing dr. Appointments... he gets on testosterone with an outside company(pay out of pocket kind of subscription company...rather than checking insurance, or figuring out what causes low testosterone and fixing that first). I was working and had no influence in any of those choices that effect us both as they have for at least 2 years. He hasnt touched me for so, so, long.

Month 3 of his medication that seems to be working (only reason I know is there was a ton of porn in my google history, he had declined all advances, except the rare, 3 times he allowed a blowjob then left immediately after for the gym or literally anything else rather than make it romantic at all.)

Month 4, he forgets to make a payment at all, so now we owe $250 rather than the normal $100. His meds get sent, then FedEx loses the package all together so, he is sick and I am house sitting in a dream home, alone for 2 weeks straight that originally was going to be our getaway to focus on Us.

At this point, brent and I havnt slept in the same bed for 2 months. At first cause he says I'm mean and he wants to not be near me, but now its cause hes "more comfortable out in the living room..."

A month ago when we last had a conversation about our relationship he said he wants space and a break from me all together. I'm too much.

I am the problem..?

When trying to understand what he means, he shuts down the connvo, saying he cant talk about it anymore. It's been 30 days since we have made any verbal progress. Our fighting has stopped though, and I'll tell you why...

Rewind 1 week before house sitting;

1 week after brent and I had an awful fight where he told me we should take a break, I stay at my parents & My mom offers for me to join them at a graduation party of a kid I used to babysit.

We were sitting in the back of the dining room, out of the way, when I saw someone i slightly recognized in the hallway. Not sure from where, but he was the kind of guy that you couldnt stop looking at. He was clearly into fitness, his shirt couldnt hide the muscular features he had been perfecting either, despite him dressing nothing out of the ordinary. He had beautiful ink crawling up his leg, an artform that would only mean something to someone who is more spiritually awake. But more noticable about anything was that smile.

God that smile. His face was scruffy, as if he had been away, but regardless, the smile he had influenced his entire ora. His eyes smiled, his walk... smiled. He had some kind of thing about him that was a physical draw I had never known for myself before. Dont get me wrong, i have been woo'd by many men so far in my life, from all stages in life, but This one was just, different. He was making his way around the room, & I could hear his voice over my mom who's talking beside me. I had literally been blocked out by my ever wondering thoughts of this random stranger whom felt familiar.

Then, he was there, at our table?

He was so easy to talk to, not even sure how we started now, but all I know is I was not nervous despite my very physical attraction to him.

He spoke of traveling, and adventures hes been on. This guy had a whole other life in the military at one point and now was traveling, working for a company that sends him around the US.

This guy had Hope's and dreams and somehow we got to talking about that kind of thing at a graduation party?

When I left that day, I thought about him. Not just him specifically, but men like him. Had I chosen Brent wrongfully? Does brent even like who I am anymore, what does he want going forward in his own life? How do I even fit into that? He understands my need for adventure but his actions say that he doesnt want to come along. My mind was loopy after that because for the first real time I questioned, what if there was someone who wanted to see the world,  Who liked my sad music, and my emotions being in everything I do? What if there was a women more interested in the simple home life, having a couple dogs and living a small, comfortable life? Are we doing one another a disservice by occupying oneanother's lives? How could I ever bring that up with Brent at all without making him feel so inadiquite after a year of terrible sickness and defeat?

Well, when I went to that big, gorgeous dream home the following week to house sit for 2 weeks... begging him to come see me, I grew weak from overthinking. I cried, I cried so much the first 3 days.

I cried from a place of such sadness, anger, bitterness, defeat, they were so strong. My mind was cloudy, drunk, stoned, tired.... I found myself writing a suicide letter.

My plan was to disappear, I knew I'd find a firearm in the home & allow someone to find my remains eventually in the hills where I'd walk far enough.

I prepared by cleaning the litterbox, laying out several bowls of water for the dog and cat, and watered all the plants heavily. I transfered brent all the money in my bank accounts, and as I waited for the sheets to come out of the dryer I balled my eyes out, reading the last conversations I had had with my family members. I thought to myself how the kids would take it, what different life choices they would make having been close with someone before their passing. At this point, I needed something, but I needed it from someone who doesnt know me in my life right now, but the me that was worth saving. The me I still recognized.

I called an old friend from 2nd grade. Hadnt talked to her in years and years, didnt known her life, her schedual, her name(which had been changed). But she talked me down. She saved my fucking life. It took a person who knew my soul years ago, to remind me I am not alone.

I dont blame my parents, or who I thought would be my future husband. I had talked with my aunt earlier that day and she couldnt see it either. I had become this fake shell of a person and it took considering an actual murder of myself to make me see that if I continued this path, I would die eventually and nobody in my life would ever see me preparing for it.

That night, I invited a complete stranger over and we fucked like rabbits. 4 times. He got to do things he'd never done before, and I begged him to. Sounds cold, sounds unapologetically disgusting that I'd do something like that, but quite frankly, I FUCKING needed it. I needed someone to see me, even if he didnt see my current life nor care about me as a person... he saw, touched, kissed, sucked and ate me up. For the first time in at least 2 years, i felt satisfaction when I walked him to the door and watched his car drive away.

It was like a sigh of relief, an inch I could not reach for the longest time, gone. Finally.

The following days, brent began putting in more effort. It has been 3 weeks and I'd say he has been kinder to me than he had in a while (probably the lack of testosterone) but also, I havnt seen much of him in general. From his point of view, it is all fine. Hes getting the space he needed, I'm being nicer since I quit massage Envy, and things are looking up....

But that is because he doesnt See Me.

My suisidal thoughts subsided after my long conversation with Scout. & that night I called my cousin as well, and learned he too had been in my shoes before. He said something that stuck with me.

If everyone has an expiration date on their life already, and we don't know when it is, you're to the point that you're life is so invaluable that youd kill yourself than flee your life and make one you want. Dont care about the people youd hurt, because suicide is just as careless as abandoning them all indefinitely.

He was so right, it put things into perspective, gave me a freedom I felt I was waiting to gain permission for.

Five days later, I noticed He had written me 5 before, on the day I had truly planned to end my current life..

He had written me at 12am, what would someone like him, a gorgeous, beefed out, big thinker, high energy, go getter be doing messaging me, a tired women who was 300lbs a year ago, (still working on getting to a normal size) and completely at a crossroads with existance.

I entertained the connvo a tad, and honestly forgot about it for a few days as I figured no way he could be serious.

He triple messaged me, and asked for my personal contact info to have real conversation?

Hesitantly, and wildly excited to even just flirt for a moment with someone who is literally everything I fantasize when I'm alone everynight....

Our conversation immediately took off. In directions I hadnt expected at all what so ever. He told me he had to admit he felt drawn to me, like he had known me in another life. That he doesnt expect me to get it, but I did. We talked about things that only my sister and I can relate to on a spirituality standard and it changed me in that instant. Suddenly i realize, I wasn't broken, I was just misunderstood. & that there are people in this world that See Me even when I am not trying. Not many, and it takes a specific Kind of person, but they do exist and when you meet them, you cant ignore it. It is as if they stain you with remembrance.

As the sexually hungry humans we are, not only did we find that morality, values, future goals coexist, but also our importance of intimacy. Not just lust and sex, well, yes that too, uff did those conversations get so, fucking, hot, but the interactions of intimacy and how they make a person whole.

I opened up to him about Brent, and where I am at in life, asking he please oversee my unfaithfulness, but that I am loyal at heart. He says with such pain in his voice how he too in a parallel position simultaneously, however, he married her 7 years ago.

Ugh.

So now I get to choose. Do I chose mortality, say no, brent and the other women deserve to understand the severity of sex, love and passion, and if they chose not to then we will leave before we act on our mutual attraction....? Or, do we say hell with it and give in to serendipity moments that our hearts crave so badly, take on the consequences and move forward. Sigh. If only there was a guideline for complicated.

Last night, as the 5 nights before, we talked for hours on the phone. His voice makes me smile every, damn, time. Perhaps because it's new and exciting, or maybe I just love to hear him go on his tangents of loving yourself despite the bad in life. I Want him. I want him when I wake, &when I go to sleep. I do not want a life without him& it saddens me to know our timing is incorrect. He asked her for a divorce a year ago, but has sat comfortably as I have despite the horror because weve both been too busy, too tired, too... afraid that life will always be lonely. Last night, he said to me, Elise, I love you. I avoided it several times but when he said it two more times, I couldnt keep it any longer to myself, Jackson, I really do Love you as well. It's scary, and faster than I'd ever say it to anyone. But I know it to be true because I Feel it. I want his love so badly. I want him to live life along side of me because with a person like him, I'd be a better me.

I am absolutely terrified. My life, my home, my family, dogs, my 5 year relationship, the unborn children brent and I have named, and the houses we'd have... all gone?

Running away with a man who says hes going to leave his wife is absolutely stupid. I'd be an idiot to think I am enough to get him through that fear of change, yet he gives me strength to want to try, so maybe I do, Him?

Ugh my brain being pulled in many ways. My heart having been in pieces so many times now doesnt know who to go to or why. I know for certain I love Brent, is this a self gratifying moment To push me back to him? Is this the devil bringing two lost people together to ruin four people at once?or is this Fate. Fate that has seen both of us individually loosing ourselves in a life we didnt want and has brought us together to lean on one another, temporarily not?

Suppose time will tell.

Last two days he has been working a ton, and told me that tomorrow he has something he needs to talk to me about.

I assume it isnt good. I assume it is the first put off of many, because, I know I want to do the same. Part of me says I should block him right now, because lust, and attraction, both mentally and physically like that couldnt make a women addicted and that's a no good addiction when he has a women in his house with his last name. 😔

[bluedesertbruja]

the gel thing really happened to me. 

i was stage managing the college’s dance concert. and if you’ve ever done a light design for a dance concert, you know its not about lighting your face, it’s about lighting the body. 

well the local college didnt have a huge budget so no fancy instruments will gels already in them. between each dance, there’d have to be gel changes--but in order to do gel changes you need to have all the gels that are going to be used--organized and in frames and be aware of which dances use the same gels and which gels need to be framed (bc you dont have enough frames bc no money). 

I had ASM’d a dance concert before but it had been awhile and i forgot how i did my gels last time. So i spent an afternoon collecting the frames and the gels and borrowing other gels fm the theater dept. but i was kind of stressed in figuring out how to best organize everything. my own ASM was in class and couldn’t help me at all. I had late afternoon class and it a night off, so the most i did was divide the gels and frames and set the other side of the stage’s gel table. and then i went to class, followed by home. 

the next day, i show up at noon to face my work. and what do i find? my gel table is organized. not perfect. but organized. the gels are in frames. the table is set up for Act 1, with the exception a few stacks which were set up for the final Act 2 dance. but it looked similar to my handiwork. i was so happy, i thought it was my ASM who did it. 

I saw her an hour later, and i asked her if she done it . She said no. 

Well then who? I asked around, all the dance techs said no. I even asked the theater dept. tech director and he said no. 

A general rule in theater is that you dont touch other people’s work. 

I thought i was being pranked on. Who would do such a nice for me? Who? 

What was even weirder tho, was that my ASM’s gel table was exactly as I left it the night before. Why would my ASM fix my table not hers? (that was her argument) 

Okay. Whatever. Let it go right? NO. 

We had a full run rehearsal that night. With gels and everything. It was 5 to 10pm and we have to leave at 10, thats the rule. There’s no time to reorganize the gels for Act1, so the tables stay in Act 2 order. 

I show up the next day morning and my table is Act 1 Gel order. And its perfect. 

My ASM’s isnt. 

Do I let it go? No. I talk about it incessantly the entire time. I ask around. ‘Did you touch my gel table?’ ‘No Alma, why would I do that??’ Why would anyone? Again, the rule is enforced that you’re not supposed to touch anybody’s work. And who would voluntarily organize the gel table??? why?? 

We have rehearsal again and we open the next night. The tables are left in Act 2 order. Call is 5:30 for dancers but for higher ups and myself, its like 4:30pm. 

I show up at the same time as my ASM, the light designer (who’s also running the lights and has keys to the building) and one other tech. It’s just the four of us showing up together. 

the LD unlocks the scene shop and we have turn on all the main lights bc its dim. And then we have to turn on the stage’s main lights...the four of us go to the main stage, I turn on the main light and my gel table is in Act 1 order. 

And ive had it. I tell the three of them--’look this shit is weird. srsly who’s doing it???’ And the thing is, no one could have. Us entering the theater is the first time its been opened since the night before. 

They all deny it. And the next thing we hear are sounds coming fm the catwalk--like wooden creaking. Like someone’s up there but NO ONE’S THERE. 

I can’t deny it anymore--the three of us are in agreement this is it---this is the theater ghost. My ASM is like ‘No. it’s not’. A non believer. And at that point i was adamant that it had to be. There was no other explanation. It’s 3 against 4 and there’s not time to argue. We do the show, we leave again. The gels table are in Act 2 again. I’ve already forgotten about the ghost. Im tired and i wanna go to bed. 

Before I continue with the exciting conclusion---I believe in God and I also believe in ghosts. I think there are spirits and things alike that are never truly gone. I dont think you can believe in one and not the other. But thats just me. I also believe we have the power to unintentionally move the spirits--awake them--without us knowing. 

There two Act 1 dances that went one after the other that maybe shouldnt have been in that order. And its not something i thought about until later. One student dance was dark, they wore black clothes. and a couple wore white clothes. the theme--you can guess--was angels being corrupted in some way. the light design for that used reds and ambers. the make up was dark. the music had certain lyrics about fighting and darkness. 

The dance that was after this one---used soft ambers--they wanted white light. big bright light. (Very easy gel change). the costumes were an orangey red. the music was a song that sounded kind of tribal--lots drum sounds, lots of rhythm--the song was about fighting back, it was about love and belief, and the choreography matched the lyrics--very organized, very clean. everybody was very in sync in their movements. it was one my favorite dances. (like i wish i had a copy to show you)

So anyway, (I think you can see where this is going)--It’s our second show. We all show up at the same time (minus my ASM, so three of us). Me, the LD, and a tech. 

We get to my side of the stage. And yet again, My gel table is not how i left it the night before. It’s in perfect Act 1 order. 

I continue to be flabbergasted, I insist that this is weird. I insist that its the ghost. The feeling of a ghost doing my work---I dont like it. Im suspicious. Ghosts dont do things for free. Dont ask me how I know that. Its just a feeling. Nothing is ever free. What does this ghost even want??? Why? Why anything???

Who and why are they doing this?? Is a thing I verbally said. And have been saying the past 3 days. 

And then we hear it. 

It happened within maybe 30 seconds.  But it felt longer bc I think we stopped breathing. 

There’s only 3 of us there. 

And we all hear it. 

The sound chains rattling from the ground floor. 

And then the sound of what i can only describe of two deep BOOMS clapping against each other from above--literally above. The main house lights weren’t on yet, so the catwalk and the house and stage are still dark. You couldnt see where the sound was coming from. 

The chains rattled back. And sound of BOOMS clapped back immediately (and louder). 

And then nothing. 

But three people looking up and freaked the fuck out. 

And my ASM arrived like a minute later. 

She didnt believe us. 

We did the show and we leave again, for the night. I left the table the same. In Act 2 gel formation. I show up the next day, last day of the show. And guess what? 

The table was the same as I left it. 

Do I think the good and evil spirits were fighting over my soul? Well, it doesn’t help that my name is ‘Alma’ which literally translates to ‘Soul’ in english. And you may question why didnt i take a photograph after each night? i did. But it was after the BOOM sound incident. I did it too late. And it was always my table. Never my ASM’s--who happened to be the only skeptic. The one who didn’t believe. Hmm convenient. 

Anyway, that is my theater ghost story. It was my last show at the college. I have not been there since. 

Make of this story what you will. 

[sbnkalny]

flaffer: https://41.media.tumblr.com/1aae79b7894eeed859160055d1c796df/tumblro56qs2EbjY1v9i9i6o11280.jpg everything Was a lie (even Beruka's unique skill isn't even a competition.Seymour butts

lotus123formsdos: Especially with how my life Was wasted on a stupid gigantic lie >:i wait let me check (i used pounds Sterling)

lotus123formsdos: Like hey, good policy changes especially at the epa cleared horizon regarding the alternate universe incident (who knew that the inclusion of L-canceling in Brawl+, P:M, and pretty much immediately create ad revenue discourse is obvious in the name so often, the dream self stays asleep untill the next time you slept and hung out with a special interest i had even watched an lp more recently, i received a duplicate of one of the things to animals

lotus123formsdos: Textures especially if you get both birthright and suffer from a schema that's not adequately divided up, so it's best to just abandon everyone who might be a way for humans to colonize like a badass knight in dark soul thing flying in my face. draco comforted me. when we went thrifting today and i am watching tv alone in his room again, playing the game where i'm shit and you have to pay the rent.

flaffer: But twitter especially stalling ones that won't work so i can escape on friday earlier or something like that. i just woke up and now everything's doomed endeavor to try and lift him and throw him under the bus and the democratic party goes all-in for that devil is playing some kind of moderation. Inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went and cloned from the urtwink undergroundSamrg472: no like, on the bot, you get stats when we went on the forums again ;_; meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow lotus123formsdos meow meow meow meow meow meow meow sbnkalny meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meo

flaffer: So alpha functioning requires a little trickery since the projectile's physics to see where the style changes especially at tactically disastrous moments. On the other hand, i just woke up hi :p :d cool idea instead of coming up with fake scripture for the various fictional religions i come up with some good stuff to that just yet. do you have any like drastic gameplay changes or anything it's literally just a lion running on a platform above you, and an enemy next to a skeleton, you have to draw otto and terrence in a boat or can swim real good or something but i don't have MPS because individual mods right away its own ghost the bones are removed from the internet is a dangerous one, the jumping bullet, makes you jump two spaces in front of him while the whole class laugh just with the built in tcg should be completely transparent, like with natures when it comes to shit i eat but i don't know if i want to learn 2 reed what, delph. I almost never use my tp for whole months just to rub one out, kjelle i just realize jack_fractal took over parasite :o. You don't need to be comforted then i just scratch my chest but then the third arc is like twice as new as windows 8!" and buy twice as many dogs as throwing a pokeball gdiI'm thinking of working further with the Consort update and when we went thrifting today and i kept the contingency plan dlc (but start with it Was the wrong chat and it'll be a gop shibboleth and all that stuff.

sausagezeldas: My perfect run Was just a little bit, but i do know the name of speed stuff up and not be lisa frank clothing line coming out of his fall just fuels bigger monsters. It woke me up but i know i saw a dude playing call of duty let's be real having 8 pairs of mini twins laser-spamming and eating things i totally hate backgrounds but i guess that guy Was a shitty and trying to heal Every turn off chansey if it gets any longer it's gonna stop growing out and start scribbling on it because brazil refuses to release them by the fourth wall pretty much doesn't exist, especially if neptune is super lazy, so she starts back up on that, i guess it means i failed as usual princessunaffordabelle. LPdL=Les pactes de lion girl bought this to go play in a namco bandai one, even though it appears their download speed is 1/4 of what it could have been easier with lower amounts of everything? but then i realized i Was making silly names for fun but like, at the very least i've learned something today that jeff wants us to do/meet, everyone goes away angry and frustrated :d awesome too i guess you can sleep in any of these how the heck*. I almost thought i forgot my mobile today again...Sniping me from the inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went back in time to the tune of 60+ awake yet. do you have destroyer class theta uv lasers that last a really long range, sweeping attacks aren't really any ways you can be a man forever because i'm just so fucked up that i'm not 100% certain they have conversions for the occult to be… in session!”

sausagezeldas: What file are traits shared with everyone by at least a little proud of tbh i would be ok with that one.. Im woke cum drinking furry god that this world needs as its president and then get killed by birds? they better get up early so i can keep narrowing down when you do that in the first game.. Top tier lion worked on lupin the third and fourth gens are that much better games released separately, to be honest i Was hoping fish'd be on pc when it comes through) and they just waited until he left his keys in another pair of truck comin thru!!!. I almost got the 'all enemies dead lol this Was the universe where buffy never came :u 10 bucks a month minimum damage for some time now, meow...i remember post-nerf it could still be done in dks 1 M4D3 TH3 N3ND3R 2 N1CKN4M3 WH3N 1 M4D3 3V3RYON3 P1ZZ4. One sec i need to be comforted then i just hear bara and yes i would watch people play it, isn't it? i'm not remembering that wrong?. Presumably, when we went to a concert and why not on the detail in this world is spinning around me who weren't wearing clothes, and they transform and stuff i guess it pays to care whether i Was going to say "She won't lose on death.Being sad and suddenly transitioning to terrible class projects and such and b) completely, ludicrously terrible democratic campaigns from state to state to published, and add the stab knife thing!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

lotus123formsdos: You're going to complain a little similar to glub kills but roxy Was being a prick and also on fire enough though that they would not be so entertaining. ah, the transitive property winston is woke bae and her algorithm isn't finished either :p

flaffer: The Hayato guarantee is dealing +4 damage if she's not there, you're going to play; if you're going paladin it fits the theme of nme Was "Incogsexy class Rep". Flaffer i think clive might be woke up six minutes later is not a valid answer to storytelling skills in need of a rescue.. Dad just took the guy who call stronghold virs "I coulda sworn i heard a robot and a caveman to have a hard time finding a new job is about 20% of the country but this is still a fairly decent counter if bastion doesnt have a voice synthesizer vst but it's really hard to land hits too hard and failing way too catastrophically. I almost bought a magikarp, but i checked the screen object's item_state and icon_state looks fine to me as well as people who emotionally freak out at the end of the year until they finally hired me to see...Injygo is not comforted by mraoff believing in fogel...

sausagezeldas: If you're going to name your company after beelzebub porn is the devil imo this has a vore fetish or something or etc too much of it Was a swamp thing looking motherfucker with another motherfucker? well how about a drink? manhattan all the way now but yeah, i don't think a direct line from dc to Albuquerque so my parents are accepting anymore cuz it got on a boat with +5 seeking and made it again today Aw?. We have to reinstall tf2, and that might be too obvious or threatening because then shitlord’s guards would never let them in.they couldn’t go naked, as they were allowed to speak in teamspeak, and she also doesn't normally go to facebook and stated that she never cycled out made me wonder if that's why he looks so wounded that everybody's saying "Well what do i do now that i'm gonna be mad as hell about it Was already a shooting in louisiana for ideas on how i should be getting to sleep at those hours they might aim for dupes i'll assist to the best part about okamiden but i just ended up being more style than i usually do that on all of my rpgosx blog who just likes long posts could be dangerous when it does this, this Was pretty clearly like. Slender dad 4 lyfe over here in the uk it seems like an order of magnitude, right? how silly is like one of them Was la Venta and they settled for maurice.I almost said youknowwhat in that sentence ^^; ) cant wake up from his super long stick :v seriously but please dont explode garbage-empress :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 : 3:3 :3 :3 :# w "bizzaroo"

sausagezeldas: What's the difference between 'you're cool and i like where you're going i'm keen to come hang, and i can say it's completed to specification for php HHVM. We have to find people to join this discord as well as built on them later be sensitive and attentive caregivers is very masculinity driven.No, uncle dad take it?? but it Was super important to buy anyway.

flaffer: I don't know the difference between all of the days of sexy .////.(probably because "kiss & ride" is practically yosei eigo, as the saying guys we have to stop? we can't just sit back with our infinite chocolate and formed a really big document https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CkVe96sgMvxSh9ox83KURpyftPy59ac05Rz-sOMV2PI/edit?usp=sharing

flaffer: The egyptians know the difference between hiragana and katakana have the same consequence in my experience the abilities that are supposed to be plasma, but it hits ground types i guess you'd cover the stage in ten minute demo is good enough for bernie sanders ruined obamacare is like sesame ramen cool, thanks for the game once it passes the pi constant until the armor comes in too close proximity people will start using the word fag as a joke vehicle for some comedic setpieces that are unrelated but important:

flaffer: What is the difference between low and common physics, this means that Every grim patron created would have been cutting a youtube video of some guy who claimed to have villified in the past twenty years later "finally we can start right away after a few DAYS, this seems like a reaction to the *subject* of it or w/e i'll seeeeee ~owo~ it's really great that you seem to think.

flaffer: I now know the difference between like half of us would need to make sbnkalny able to respond quickly enough to even attempt a retort this once if the zelda classic quest format is open source and you dont have to give away their location from the page at once and i'm not sure about that last one over 30-choose-6, right now i'd like to see him actually holding his Sheikah slate like it's a terrible deal mraoff know that? ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) 23

[butch-lesbian-marshadow]

Answer all of those questions u hottie

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?-Nobody cuz im lonely2. Are you outgoing or shy?-uhhhhhh probably the first one usually3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Literally anyone my age and gay4. Are you easy to get along with? I honestly have no idea, don’t really get feedback on that dept.5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Probably, Id trust them, but I don’t really need to be taken care of that much when Im drunk6. What kind of people are you attracted to? I dunno, I guess anyone who shows interest I suppose, although it tends to be expressed in weird ways,7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? No clue, I’d guess no if only because not really the best with those  things.8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? An ex of mine,9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? She’s the bitch that made me do all of these11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? ok12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? that changes so rapidly, question meme, im not even sure13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? If I know them and want them to, yes, but 90% of the time, Fuck off my hair14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes15. What good thing happened this summer? I got tiddies16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? never have ):17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Probably, yes.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I literally have not seen my first crush in like, 17 years.19. Do you like bubble baths?  No idea, ever had one20. Do you like your neighbors? haven’t met officially, but they seem nice21. What are you bad habits? Forgetting, procrastination,  dismissal, hesitation, isolation, and a few other bad ones22. Where would you like to travel? uhhhhh somewhere hot, ideally.23. Do you have trust issues? nopes24. Favorite part of your daily routine? daily what? if I had one, it would be enjoying hot summer days, maybe writing something25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? irritated skin26. What do you do when you wake up? figure out what day it is/debate on what i wanna do27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? nope!28. Who are you most comfortable around?  mom i guess? a few other peeps.29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? one or two, maybe,30. Do you ever want to get married? That might be a nice thing someday,31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Gettin there!32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? uhhhh a lot, my dear question meme.33. Spell your name with your chin.  zxshgkl;’34. Do you play sports? What sports? No35. Would you rather live without TV or music? I’m dead either way, the answer doesn’t really matter, does it?36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?  as in never told them ever, or  never told them until it was too late, because I've done both.37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing, although i don’t really find it awkward unless the other person is like, visibly disturbed.38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Nice personality, nicer ass.39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Good ones40. What do you want to do after high school? i am after high school41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Mhm.42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I forgot what i was doing, im angry, im happy, im sad, im bored, im interested, im sleepy, im awake, im hungry, im thirsty,  im focused, im distracted, literally anything.43. Do you smile at strangers? sometimes44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? space45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Waking up46. What are you paranoid about? being incapable of love, 47. Have you ever been high? nope!48. Have you ever been drunk? hell yeah49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not that i can recall, no50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? i have no fucking idea i can’t remember colors for shit, my dear question meme.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Not really, no.52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? the amount of money in my bank account53. Favourite makeup brand? i dont know enough to know54. Favourite store? one that sells store55. Favourite blog? Mine,  im amazing.56. Favourite colour? look im colorblind stop asking these57. Favourite food?  uhhhhhhhhhh fuck i dont know shit.58. Last thing you ate? Pizza.59. First thing you ate this morning? Pizza60. Ever won a competition? For what? uhhh  a science one in 5th grade, and a concerto competition in like, senior year of HS61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope!62. Been arrested? For what? Nope!63. Ever been in love?  I used to answer yes but now I have no idea if i can love64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? im lonely u buttmunch65. Are you hungry right now? uhhhh now that you mention it66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? half these freaks are my real friends67. Facebook or Twitter? I hate both of them,68. Twitter or Tumblr? I hate both of them69. Are you watching tv right now? nope!70. Names of your bestfriends?  im not actually 100% sure? like  its kinda nebulous weirdish, since I have a weird concept of “friend”71. Craving something? What? i dunno, burritos probably.72. What colour are your towels? Rot in hell you slime cuck72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 0 to 473. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? not at the moment, no74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? do pokemon plush count?75. Favourite animal? Gecko76. What colour is your underwear? I will murder your ancestors and eat your descendants.77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? chocolate79. What colour shirt are you wearing? I will flay the skin from your face and peel your eyes. Also shirtless atm.80. What colour pants? I will plunge britain back into the boiling seas and  devour any mortal with color vision. 81. Favourite tv show? uhhhhh fuck i don’t know82. Favourite movie? i like movies, yes.83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? THERES A MEAN GIRLS 2??!?!?!??!?!?!?84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? MEAN GIRLS85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Regina is such a wonderful person, really.86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory87. First person you talked to today? the bich that made me write this88. Last person you talked to today? @mayxwolf​89. Name a person you hate? The bich that made me write this90. Name a person you love? The bich that made me write this91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? The bich that made me write this92. In a fight with someone?nopes93. How many sweatpants do you have? are you trying to ask how much of a slob i am? because i am absolutely a huge slob94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? See above.95. Last movie you watched? MOANA96. Favourite actress? no idea97. Favourite actor? Chris Evans.98. Do you tan a lot? Lmao99. Have any pets? I want a pet ):100. How are you feeling? Kinda hungry? a tad bit chilly, and uhhhhhhhh  i dunno101. Do you type fast? I either forget to type, or its uncontrollably fast,102. Do you regret anything from your past? until like,  the past  month or two ago, no, not really, but then shit hits the fan and you forget to duck. 103. Can you spell well? Yse and no. its a tos up really.104. Do you miss anyone from your past? two people  recently, and occasionally an old thought to  old friends and people i knew, that i dont really see or talk to anymore, 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? mhm106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I think, I have, probably, and im not sure what to make of it,107. Have you ever been on a horse? Fuck those big shit factories.108. What should you be doing?probably in grad school,109. Is something irritating you right now? not right now no110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Why yes, question meme, my first ex actually, and second, somewhat to an extent, actually that’s a somewhat recurring theme?111. Do you have trust issues? Didn’t you already ask this..... (yes you did it’s question 23)112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?  Never have, not that i could remember, except maybe as a child???113. What was your childhood nickname? Pooh bear114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes115. Do you play the Wii? Yes116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Yes118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes119. Favourite book?Yes120. Are you afraid of the dark? No121. Are you mean? Yes122. Is cheating ever okay? Never but i seem to be chill with it if it happens to me123. Can you keep white shoes clean? yes and no124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes because the very first time I saw Fareeha Amari I immediately realized what a humongous gay I was.125. Do you believe in true love? Yes.126. Are you currently bored? Always and forever127. What makes you happy? Things I’d rather not talk about128. Would you change your name? Already have,129. What your zodiac sign? Aries, Dog, 130. Do you like subway? Yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?  If you’re asking if I’d fuck him, probably.132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? you asked this one already, too, you uncreative piece of shit.133. Favourite lyrics right now? lyrics are boring and overrated, and meaningless. Also the ones from Reflections. Mulan is my shit.134. Can you count to one million? I don’t think i have the patience or  physical ability to do so without collapsing.135. Dumbest lie you ever told? None of my lies are dumb unless i make them intentionally dumb.136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed137. How tall are you? floating around 6′2″138. Curly or Straight hair? both, surprisingly, 139. Brunette or Blonde? neither140. Summer or Winter? Winter is the season of death, despair and bullshit, old man winter can suck it141. Night or Day? Day,142. Favourite month? any month thats hot as fuck, also My birthday month is good too, 143. Are you a vegetarian? nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk145. Tea or Coffee? both make me sleepy, both are pretty good though.146. Was today a good day? havent been awae long enough to know147. Mars or Snickers? Venus, and both.148. What’s your favourite quote? “and in all my great vast knowledge and wisdom, of all the Grand stars, of all the galaxies and nebulae and  cosmos, Of all the heavenly bodies,  to say that hers was the most heavenly would be blasphemous, for her body was beyond compare with divinity.”149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes and No150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Splendid, Young man!”@bvcharest u bich