#typical mood before christmas

[alchemyfire]

Do you also feel the tragic fate in their laughter? It hurts to see them so happy and to know what awaits them when that month comes.

[sturnsdoll]

NAUGHTY OR NICE ❄ -m.s, c.s

pairing: dom bf!matt x sub!reader, dom!chris x reader

summary: when your boyfriend matt decides that a vibrator at dinner with his brothers is a good punishment for your attitude, you don't expect to end up being teased by someone other than him. warnings: vibrator, semi-public, cheating!reader, fingering, dirty talk, humiliation, orgasm denial.

word count: 3,598

"pink" + reader speaking, "blue" = matt speaking, "orange" = chris speaking.

matt and you are supposed to meet his brothers for dinner in about a half an hour. swiping gloss across your lips, you watch through the mirror at matt idly pacing around behind you. he's picking up random things, checking himself in the mirror. your used to it, he's typically like this before going out anywhere. you close up your gloss, tossing it down onto your vanity with an exaggerated sigh.

with that matt looks over at you, annoyance already on his features "what now?", his tone is soft but still holds irritation. all damn day everything's been a problem for you. and when something upsets you, it somehow becomes a him problem too.

you give him a bit of a side eye in the mirror, a slight eye roll to follow "nothin', jeez." you respond passively, getting up to go grab your purse and matt continues watching you with a dissaproving look. "there a problem?" you add with a raise of your brow. matt shrugs "you gonna be like this all night?" he asks, slightly amused but also a little over the attitude you've been throwing at him today. he watches your pretty eyes when you look back at him "i'm not being like anything." you defend. directly after your defence, you bend down to pickup your purse and hear matt sigh with a "that's it". -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

the drive there, all you could do was wait. wait to see when he'd chose to torture you. the silicone of the vibrator was tightly fit between your panties and your (already embarrassingly wet) pussy, specifically nudging your clit too close for comfort. when you matt pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant you, him and his brothers were gonna be meeting at for dinner, he refused to acknowledge your anxious glances toward him any time he'd open his phone. every tap of his fingers against the screen had you anticipating the buzzing against your clit, but thus far he hasn't done it hasn't come.

entering the restaurant, you were in awe of the gorgeous christmas decor of green and red around the restauraunt. cinnamon sticks in a little bowl with bows around them on the front desk, a green tree off near the hall to the washrooms, chandelier with lights. it's gorgeous.

you were both lead to your table where nick and chris were already sat laughing and talking. there wasn't much greeting to be done, you just kind of took a seat across from them with matt next to you and hopped into conversation smoothly with your boyfriends brothers.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

the food was amazing, everyone having a great time. chris and nick are your bestfriends by natural selection of matt being your boyfriend so you've grown to be comfy around them. not this comfy though. it was still in the back of your mind that matt was more than capable of turning the toy on whenever the hell he pleased but till now, you'd done a good job just trying to enjoy dinner and forget about it.

currently you're mid conversation with chris, giggling at something stupid he said when abruptly, you go silent. the buzz that comes to your clit is low, gentle. but it's still beyond distracting. you can't help how your eyes grow wide for a moment as you swallow thickly. fucking matt.

chris catches your sudden change of expression and mood. he makes a funny confused face in response to your expression, breathily laughing "what?" in question. now chris is thinking maybe he'd said something outlandish and not realized it.

chris catching the change in your mood only makes your stomach drop further. you deadstare your boyfriend's youngest brother, zoned out in embarassment, feeling clueless on how to respond when there's a god damn vibrator on you in public. but your strange behaviour was cut short by matt's slender ring clad fingers giving a squeeze to your knee. quickly taking the hint, you smile with a soft laugh "oh i just remembered last week when that lady refused to give nick his order cause she thought he was lying about it being his" your almost proud of yourself for thinking of something so fast.

chris seems to believe it, responding with a small "hm". however despite his smile and nod, chris has this slightly intense stare, different from his usually childish and playful demeanour. you assume your paranoid because how would chris know something was up?

"omg and then she did the same thing to that poor girl!" nick's voice breaks your curiosity of chris's stare. your sure you can handle this for a little, just a light buzz. but quite abruptly the buzzing intensifies. you grab at matt's hand, nails digging against the back of his palm as you force yourself to respond to nick with a short and shaky "yeah." it only eggs matt on though, he thinks your reactions are adorably pathetic. before nick can even really notice how shaky your voice was, the waiter approached the table to ask if anyone needed anything. you leave nick and chris to speak to the waiter, taking the chance to look at your boyfriend with a look that shows your embarassment and irriation. in response you just get a sickeningly sweet smile, one that causes you to shut your legs together, frustration and arousal driving you udderly insane.

before your knee's can even touch he pinches your thigh, his smile dropping slightly in warning. "fuck you" you mouth to him stupidly. matt gives a playful pout, forcibly pulling your leg so that you spread em', preventing you from any relief outside of what he chooses to provide you through the toy. "you really gonna act like that when santa's coming to town?" he jokes quietly, almost laughing at his own dumbass joke but instead his mouth just turns up in a slight smile, then you watch him take a quick glance at his phone.

holy fuck. you nearly fold over at the leg tremling, panty wettingly intense buzz that he suddenly inflicts on your clit. your acrylics immedietly digging into his hand again, you look over and catch his amused and adoring glance to you. that evil bastard fucking loves this. it's a bit of a power trip for him to watch you squirming in your seat, all angry at him.

matt's gaze was doing nothing to help, merely mocking you. in a desperate attempt to not give anything away, your teeth caught your lip with a gasp before any other lewd noise could escape. you shift your hips uncomfortably as your eyes leave matt's to see if his brothers are paying any mind to you two.

you felt relief at nick's typical yapping, he was clearly clueless to your situation. but then your eyes meet chris's.

he's clenching his jaw slightly with an unreadable but intense look in his eyes. what's his problem? well, apparently your body doesn't care what his glare is for, because it's enough for your poor neglected cunt to start to clench around nothing besides the pooling liquid dripping into your panties.

you let out a shaky breath that's just shy of a whine. lucky for you it's loud as hell in the restaurant. you mentally curse yourself for letting something as simple as a look from your boyfriends brother get you worked up. then again, what won't get you hornier with that god forsaken buzzing that has you struggling to sit still? you're about to resort to distracting yourself with nick's yapping when the buzzing abruptly cuts short.

you almost let out a sigh of relief. finally a break.

then your jaw drops and your knee jumps up and hits under the table. you didn't even know this vibrator could be this strong.. but as matt tortorously turns it to the highest setting, you can't stop the small whine from slipping your throat.

in panic you look between the three boys. nick is somehow still oblivious, thank god. matt's too busy pretending like he isn't literally getting you off infront of his brothers as he picks at his food. chris is also presumably distracted with his meal, though he shoots you a questioning glance when your eyes pass over him.

clearing your throat, you quickly stand up, announcing that you have to go to the bathroom. you rush right off before anyone can say anything.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

before you can even close the bathroom door you hear a ding from your phone. taking a second, you take a deep breath and squeeze your thighs together with a soft whine, eyes shutting as you dig your phone from your purse.

[ imessage from: matt <3]

-if you turn it off , touch yourself or cum then you're in trouble sweetheart. pathetically so, just reading his threatening text has your knee's weak. you lean one hand forward onto the counter, your thighs clenching tighter together.

[message to: matt <3]

-please it's too much. chris and nick are gonna find out if i come back out there like this

[message from: matt <3]

-behave or i'll make you cum infront of both of them istg

the lewd image of being forced into an orgasm infront of chris at the dinner table creates both a humiliating and pleasurable ache in your stomach. trying to force the thought away hardly worked, already dripping at the thought.

you have to compose yourself. that thought must only be arousing because your so desperate right?.. right.

you look yourself in the mirror, passing off your glossy eyes as you breathe in deeply. you reach your hand beneath your dress to pull your panties down just a little so the vibrator isn't so tightly pressed against you. insantly you sigh in relief at the severly lessened stimulation. straightening yourself out, mentally you prep yourself to get back to the group, opening the bathroom door with the best poker face you can put on.

instantly you're met with two hands roughly shoving you back inside the washroom, the door being locked instantly.

"what the hell are you two up to?"

you swear you experience whiplash at the complete shock as you look up at chris with confusion. chris is staring right back down at you with an almost proud but soft little smile on his face. "hello?" he gives a gentle tap to your arm to urge you to talk. you just shake your head, feeling bewildered "nothing?" you don't even sound sure of yourself when your respond.

chris tilts his head to give you a stare of annoyance at the blatant lie. little did you know that chris had figured you two out much much earlier. his voice comes more accusatory than he intends "you think i'm stupid?" he asks.

you stare up at chris, trying to look irritated at his intrusion into the bathroom but honestly your eyes are that of a lost puppy as the buzzing in your underwear is still growing the ache in your stomach. your legs are squeezing as you struggle to not completely lose it. "and?" you try to seem unphased but there's a shake to your tone.

"and-" he begins in a mocking tone "i know matt doesn't have some fucking vibrator app for himself." he finishes with a cocky yet still adoringly soft look as he watched the panic in your eyes. chris doesn't want to scare you away so his hand starts at your shoulder, thumb gently stroking your shoulder to soothe the panic that's coming with your brain completely short circuiting.

you want to ask how he knows that but chris steps a little closer and you back against the sink counter, both slightly intimidated as well as just udderly so confused you can't really think properly. chris's voice break's into your frozen state "you guys have some freaky thing for getting off in public?" he questions you.

"what? no that's-" chris doesn't quite seem 100 percent sure of himself, almost like he's slightly scared that you'll just think he's a complete weirdo so he keeps his movements slow and his voice stays on the softer side as he speaks to you "you got yourslef in trouble or something then?" he asks tauntingly. his eyes glitter with amusement when he watches you freeze up. looking around, your mouth opens again and again like you wanna argue or deny it but instead you just scoff in disbelief, your eyes rolling at his audacity.

that was enough of an answer for him. he lets out a small hum in acknowledgement, like he's amused by you being punished by his brother. his hand slowly slides down from your arm to the bottom hem of your dress. you find yourself unable to do anything but follow his movement with your eyes, a small breathy whine leaving as the buzzing in your panties continues to make this all the more arousing.

"getting off with your boyfriends brother less than a foot away at dinner is kind fucked up not gonna lie." as chris speaks he uses his other hand to pull the fabric of your dress at the waist, tugging it up a little until you're just barely covered below the waist. his thumb slips beneath the material to rub gentle circles on your thigh "this okay? you tell me to stop and i'll leave n' pretend like this never happened, i promise." his eyes give a comfortingly concerned look, his hand freezing momentarily.

you severly hesitate, a shaky breath leaving your lips, feeling the slick spreading all across your pussy, panties and upper thigh from the nonstop vibrations on your sensitibe bud, now combined with chris's teasing. this is all too much at once. you're starting to feel lightheaded, not knowing how much longer you can hold off either crying or cumming right here on the spot. "matt would mm- hate me chris" you worry verbally to the youngest triplet. chris just shakes his head, chosing to lighten the mood with a joke as per usual "don't worry about him right now. you gonna be naughty or nice for me? cause santa doesn't have to be the only thing coming if you'll let me touch you." there's a shit eating grin on his lips now as he slips his hand just a litter further under your dress.

under other circumstances you would've laughed at his terrible joke. instead you meet his eyes, a suble smile on your face. you know you need to make a decision. guilt bubbles in your stomach, as well as the need to cum. your arousal speaking before you can, you blurt out a "please" your eyes begging chris right along with your words.

chris instantly smirks, stepping closer till there's nearly no more of your space for him to invade "so polite." he teases, his knuckles softly brushing up her thigh till he reaches her panties, where he pauses, his knuckles brushing along the fabric to feel the vicious buzzing. experimentally he uses two fingers to press it up against her clit just a little closer.

your hands both come behind you to grip at the counter top as your legs twitch, unable to hold off your physical reaction to the torture anymore. "ah-" you cry gently as one hand comes off the counter to grip at his arm, not to stop him but for some kind of support.

chris tuts at you "poor thing, bet he's been neglecting you all night" chris says, more so to himself as he shakes his head in genuine dissapointment of his brothers teasing tactics. then in a swift motion, his finger hooks around the front of your panties and tugs them down to your thighs. finally, the vibrator comes off of you. chris's eyes lock on yours for affirmation to continue and he finds your eyes pleading with him already.

you have the sudden thought.. why hasn't matt come to check on you at this point? or texted? your thoughts are quickly are ripped from your head when the buzzing returns once more, chris placing his palm over the vibrator, pressing it right onto your poor swollen clit again.

a strangled moan is forced loudly from your lips at the overstimulating feeling coming back all at once, your back arches off the counter as you look down, shaking your head. "chris no wait- fuckk, i'm gonna cum" you beg for him to stop, but not because you don't want to. for some reason your willing to sleep with matt's brother but you draw the line at cumming without his permission?? pussy.

chris watches as your hips squirm back against the counter, your face scrunched up like you can't take it. he raises an eyebrow at your panic and he subtly smiles, too sweet for the situation your both in. "so?" he urges an explanation with confusion and amusement at your struggle.

you look away from him, nails digging into his arm as embarassment eats you alive at your reason why. chris is having none of it though. he leans down to force you to meet his gaze in demand of an answer. a whine slips when you go to speak, but you manage nonetheless. "not allowed." you state, your eyes finally meeting chris's again.

he's enthralled by your obedience to matt's 'rules' and the guilty little look in your eyes. chris sighs, shaking his head as he brings his free hand to gently cup the side of your face "well i say you are, so go ahead." he says like this is completely normal.

before you can even consider responding, two of his fingers shove into your fluttering hole, his palm still pressing the toy to your clit. you cry out at the attention to your poor pussy that you've been craving all night, hips pushing off the counter to chase chris's hand. whines and choked sobs leave your lips.

chris taps the underside of your jaw "someone's gonna hear ya" he points out with a warning look, then his fingers curl up into your walls to force another response from you. and oh does it ever. you lean your head forwards into his chest with a desperate whine that makes chris's jeans grow a little tighter on him.

he gently cradles the back of your head with his large hand as he talks you through it "oh i knoww." he says with a mocking tone to his voice, a devilish smirk on his face that you can't see as he holds your face into the chest of his hoodie to muffle your cries of pleasure.

"g- gonna fucking- oh god chris" your brain is so far from working as he fucks his fingers into you, alternating between curling them at the perfect spot inside and then thrusting them quickly. the sound of you saying his name is enough to have his dick fighting against his pants. he wants nothing more than to stuff you full of him but this isn't about him, the only thing he needs right now is to watch you hold onto him pathetically whilst crying his name for more.

with the hand cradling your head, his fingers gently massage your scalp. the soothing nature is a vile contrast to the way his other hand completely ruins you. this only furthers the haze of euphoria your in, whining desperately as you clutch onto chris for life. if it weren't for him and the counter you'd be a puddle on the floor and chris knows it as he feels your walls squeezing in desperation for release. he knows that's his cue.

you experience the most horrible whiplash as within a second, chris's hand comes out from under your dress, the vibrator with it and all your left with is your cum dripping out of your fluttering hole.

instantly your head lifts off chris's chest. you watch up at him with pleading eyes "chris." you hate how you sound begging for his attention back.

the hand not holding your now turned off, soaked vibrator, is soothing your hair out. he holds the vibrator up to your mouth, tapping it onto your pouted lips. shamefully you open your mouth, allowing him to urge the toy inside for you to clean it of your own mess.

chris's eyes glimmer with satisfaction as he watches your gaze, eager to please him in favour of needing to cum. which is why you nearly wanna cry when he removes his other hand from your hair and brings it down to pull your panties back up, slipping the now completely still vibrator back into the fabric.

"i'm sorry pretty, but the only thing i want more than to watch you cum is to know you'll be left on edge all night thinking about me instead of him" chris states with a grin, giving a frustratingly casual pat to your shoulder before unlocking the door and opening it to leave. you're about to pull him back and cuss him the fuck out when suddenly you see your boyfriend leaning on the wall right outside the door, shaking his head at you as chris walks passed him with a cocky smirk. it all sets in and you feel more embarassed than you ever have in your life. they fucking planned it. matt let chris come fingerfuck you like some slut.

"you're un-fucking-believable." matt states, although not seeming as mad as he should. you have no choice in the matter as he grabs you arm and begins both of your journey to the car.

you fell right into their trap.

.....someone's getting coal this christmas.

lmk if y'all want a part two??

tags: @pleasebendmeoverxxx @mattsrod @sturncakez @watercolorskyy @pettydollie @sturniol0s @6ix9inewiturmom @sonicsmacks @fratbrochrisgf @eyelovedher89 @bernardsbendystraws @riversandwinds @ilovemenwithlonghairr @chrissweatytoes @courta13

[knockknockitsnickels]

~✨IMAGINE✨~ You're at a Christmas party. You need to go to the bathroom. You need someone to watch your drink. Whoever could you ask? Observe. Explanations below the cut.

S Tier

Shifty: It's a little beneath her, but sure. She can just get one of her multitudes to watch it until you get back.

Princess and the Dragon: Absolutely. Also could possibly use the weird fusion thing she's got going on to give you live updates on how your drink is doing.

Hunted: Protects your drink with his life. Hisses at anyone who gets too close.

A Tier

Prisoner: Pris is already just sitting blankly in the corner, she doesn't mind doing that and also watching your drink.

Base Princess: She's happy to help, though I could see her getting a bit impatient if you take too long. Still probably one of your best options.

Thorn: Thorn is surprised you trust her and promises to make good on that. If she perceives a threat she swallows your drink whole, glass and all.

Hero: Hero's a nice dude who would probably be happy to watch your drink for you. That said he also strikes me as the kind of guy to forget it's yours and absently take a sip of it.

Spectre: She's happy to watch it for you, but she's also incorporeal, which might hamper her ability to do so. That said, she can probably just de-heart anyone who tries to mess with it.

Adversary : Takes protecting your drink as a challenge and her sacred duty. Beats up anyone who approaches her while she's holding it. Probably spills it everywhere in the process. It's the thought that counts.

B Tier

HEA: She'll probably be happy to watch it for you if you ask but also like. This party is HER moment. She is living her hot girl summer this winter and you should really just leave her to it.

Broken: Likewise with broken, he's not a bad option but you should probably let him have a night off.

Wraith: She's a little annoyed you asked but Wraith strikes me as a girl's girl. She'd probably watch it for you.

Narrator: He's SO mad you asked. "You're not here to have fun, you're here to slay the princess!" (he'll still watch it for you, but he'll complain the entire time).

Fury: Fury gets bored while waiting for you to come back and starts atomizing your drink. She reassembles it before you return but it still tastes a little funny.

C Tier

Stranger: As she exists in her route, probably a bad idea (she's got a lot going on). As the heart princess, however, she's one of your best options (more eyes and hands = extra attention being paid to your drink).

Wounded Wild: She's like SUPER touched you trust her enough to ask but regretfully informs you that she doesn't really have hands to hold it with.

Cage: Cage just leaves her head at a table to watch your drink while the rest of her body does something else. She can't really stop anyone from messing with it but at least she's keeping an eye out for you.

Paranoid: On the one hand he's suspicious of literally everything which might make him a good choice, but on the other hand I feel like he might work himself into a panic attack while you're gone. I'd rather not do that to him.

Damsel: Of course she'll watch your drink for you, if that's what would make you happy! She puts in an honest effort but she's also probably going to forget it on a table somewhere.

The Long Quiet: TLQ is basically just you so idk, what would YOU do? 🤨

D Tier

Cheated: Agrees to watch your drink, then immediately trips and drops it on the floor.

Stubborn: Stubborn's kind of a tossup depending on his mood. If he's already doing something else he's probably not going to help you (additionally, even if you do convince him to help there's a very real chance he'll end up using your glass as a weapon in a bar fight).

Den: Smacks it off a table in typical cat fashion. Seems to feel pretty bad about it after, but doesn't have any money to buy you a new one.

Smitten: Ditches your drink to go flirt with the nearest princess.

Nightmare: It's near impossible to ask, since you can't get close enough to her without your organs shutting down (that said I think she'd probably be cool with it).

Skeptic: I this with love but given Skeptic's track record I think there's a high chance he'll get distracted by some other mystery and forget all about your drink.

M.O.C: Has many arms with which to hold and protect your drink, but also lacks a face with which to watch it.

Wild: Fuses with you into one ultimate being. Now *we're* going to the bathroom.

E Tier

Apotheosis: As you approach her outside (she can't fit in the building) your drink is pulled from your hand by her gravitational force and floats away. You're not getting it back.

Contrarian: While you're gone he dumps your drink out on the floor bc he thinks it'd be funny. He immediately feels bad about it and goes to buy you a new one but he doesn't actually know what you had before so he just ends up getting you a coke zero.

Drowned Grey: When you return, the contents of your glass have been replaced by a strange, murky liquid. It carries a faint scent of blood. You ask her what it is and she vanishes with a mysterious smile.

Eye of the Needle: Smashes your drink on the ground and demands you fight her in the parking lot.

Cold: Takes your drink, then leaves it on a table and watches from a distance "just to see what happens."

Tower: Downs your drink while maintaining unbroken eye contact. Claims she thought you bought it for her. Obviously lying.

F Tier

Beast: Swallows your drink whole. She gets broken glass stuck in her throat and you have to take her to the emergency room.

Razor: Your glass slides out of her knife hands and shatters on the floor. Then she skewers you.

Witch: Throws your drink on the ground, laughs at you, then steps on some of the broken glass while trying to walk away. That's another emergency room visit.

Burned Grey: Before you can ask her anything, she sets the both of you and the entire bar on fire.

Opportunist: I don't think I need to explain why asking him is a bad idea. He gives your drink away to the first person who asks. Actually, they probably don't even need to ask.

Anyway have fun and be responsible this holiday season also feel free to add any additions/corrections you have, bye.

[firemenenthusiast]

—“to love”

farleigh start x reader

summary: asking farleigh to let you go if loving you isn’t worth it

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, swearing, fluff

a/n: i couldn’t decide between angst and fluff and i haven’t posted fluff for a while so yall getting BOTH. also sorry if this is kinda boring and cheesy and dramatic (me fr) 😞✌🏻

the sound of water drops drumming against the window fills your ear, tapping away at each droplets of the pouring rain, taking you away from the realisation that it’s been raining since the sun slipped off the horizon. it must be cold outside, you imagine, with the loud heavy rain and thunders.

must be the complete contrast of how warm it is inside, especially the room you and farleigh share in this mansion given that you always kept the temperature toasty. farleigh always fussed about it too, saying that it’s too warm for him and insisted that if you’re gonna keep it that way, he’s gonna have to be shirtless in the room. wiping away another stray tear rolling down your right cheek, your lips curl in a quiver as you shut your eyes.

it’s almost hysterical how even in a space that warm and cozy, having yourself all wrapped up in his blanket and sitting by the window, you still feel all alone. you don’t get it. you have all these people around you, well, all the people downstairs partying away because it’s felix’s early Christmas party yet you still feeling left behind.

farleigh’s downstairs too, you believe he’s doing all the things he usually does when he’s in the party mood. maybe by now he’s already had too much to drink for, or he’s plopped down against the couch and counting the stars dancing around at the ceiling.

normally you would be snuggling by his side, holding his firm arm close to your body so some of his warmth could radiate against your skin, but it’s been months since you and farleigh had that kind of time together. now, it’s just routine quick kisses on the top of your head, before he’s out again to catch a smoke by the courtyard and disappearing all day long, even with you in the house.

feeling all the pent up confusion, mellow and slight anger settling down, you can’t help the small hiccups escaping your lips as your shoulders jerk at every sob. you can hear the muffled music from downstairs, and sounds of people cheering for whatever reason you could easily guess at. they’re typical, you would say, but what’s not typical is the distance you feel with farleigh, and how his behaviour as of late makes you feel worthless, and that the spark you felt when you first started dating has gone into a mere strike.

you know you should’ve just told him how you’re feeling. you know you could’ve just said that you hate the way he doesn’t kiss you anymore. you miss the feeling of his lips against yours, his soft ones cradling your lips that is enough to make you melt into the moment because farleigh is such a good kisser. you know how they say to communicate, but you wish it was that fucking easy.

because you hate having to beg for affection. you hate having to tell someone to love you, you hate having to teach someone that you desperately love to no end, how to love you properly. if you were really worth it, you wouldn’t have to do all that, would you ? if farleigh really loved you like you love him, he wouldn’t make you feel like this, all disregarded and unimportant. truth is, you almost made yourself believe that the relationship is a dead end, and that he’s gonna break the news to you anytime now. what’s the point anyways ? it’s not like he cares, does he ? he certainly didn’t when he left you feeling the worst after getting back your test marks and it was so awful that you cried. all he said was, and you quote, “just a test” before leaving you to go tanning with felix when he knew you studied all night long for weeks. he knew, because he was there, watching you flip through your notes desperately.

as you sit looking out through the window, your eyes trailing the fragile looking droplets of rainfall down the pane, drinking in your sobs that were frantic a few moments ago. you’ve spent the past couple of months just smiling away and comforting yourself that maybe he was just tired, and that he wasn’t feeling like wrapping his arms around you when you needed him the most. yet deep down, you know that it wasn’t supposed to be like that. he shouldn’t get to pick and choose just whenever the fuck he feels like having a relationship.

at this point you’ve made yourself believe that farleigh only keeps you around for the sake of having a girlfriend. you don’t think he wants to be a boyfriend alongside of that, nor he cares that he’s made you feel worthless with the fact that he hasn’t kissed you on the lips for weeks now. not sure if he even realises that, having made himself busy with all the cigarette breaks and hanging out with the group. sometimes you think that he goes on all that cigarette breaks just to get away from you. it’s funny because it’s not like you couldn’t stand the smoke, if anything you don’t care if he does it around you at all, as long as you get to be with him.

leaning deeper into the farleigh-scented blanket, the fuzzy material hugs you nicely making you feel a little comforted. you could hear the knob turning before the creaking of the old hinge of the door screeches your ear. quickly wiping the tears almost dripping off your chin, you suck in a shaky breath, bumpy from the sobs and the huge lump in your throat.

“hey babe, i didn’t see you downstairs. how long have you been here ?”

of course he didn’t even realise that you were never downstairs. eventually you get sick of the annoying music and lingering smell of alcohol on everyone. you hated how reckless everyone would be, just bumping against each other that sometimes someone gets pushed to the ground. you know because last time it had happened to you, and farleigh was nowhere to be found. he was probably doing a line at the corner of the room with his other friends but hey, at least he’s not cheating right ?

blinking away your tears, you could feel your eyes are already puffy from how much you were crying. the sniffles caught his attention, halting his movements on taking off his santa hat as he settles it down on the nightstand before carefully walking towards you.

“hey— hey, what’s wrong ?”

the huge flat of his palm finds its way against your back, slowly caressing the skin through your sweatshirt as he struggles to meet your eyes.

“baby,, c’mon—look at me, hey”

his deep voice soft, but nothing’s new as farleigh had never raised his voice at you, or yelled at you. he was always so sweet when talking to you, so when he started becoming so distant, of course you’d feel it.

slowly pulling your body into his embrace, his arms wrapping around your shoulder as you lean your head against his chest. the warmth radiating off his skin spreads across your body as the both of you just sit there, sheltering against each other’s body, seeking comfort and reassurance.

“what’s wrong ?” he’d ask for the second time, holding your jaw in his hands with his fingers cupped along your cheeks. his thumb caresses the soft skin of your tear stained cheeks before looking deep into your eyes, his beautiful brown hues piercing into your orbs.

you’re still silent, knowing that if you were to tell him all the doubts in your heart that you have of him, you’d just burst into tears again. instead, you just give him your biggest smile, praying that it doesn’t look so forced and that you’re about to cry again in his arms.

farleigh can’t help his own smile at seeing your cute face squished into his large hands, though it pains him seeing you like this. it physically pains him looking at you so broken, the puffiness of your eyes tells him that you’ve been crying a lot, yet he knows nothing of it, or the reason why. when he asks you again, coaxing an answer from you, you’d just shake your head.

“you know you can tell me anything, you’re my girlfriend” he coaxes, smoothing his palms down your hair, cradling your whole head in his hands

hearing the title he just called you jerks a new stream of tears down your cheeks almost immediately, as you shut your eyes and softly sob into his hands. seeing your reaction worries him, making him desperately pull you closer into his arms, trying to shield you from anything that may be fear in your eyes, and just protect you from being hurt, ever.

“just say it, farleigh” you manage to sob out, quirking his eyebrows into visible confusion.

“say ? say what ?” pulling away slightly to look at your face, your eyes busy counting the stray threads poking out the blanket

“— that you don’t love me anymore” letting out the words softly, you realise that you sounded so insecure and it’s just going to make him mad. but you know what you’ve been feeling, and it’s not you being insecure.

farleigh couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth as they leave him speechless. slowly pulling his arms away from you, he looks at you to try to find an explanation.

“what the fu— what are you talking about ?” it was ridiculous, what you just said. he hopes that there’s a better explanation for it seeing that your lips are quivering and you’re looking at him with knitted brows.

“all the cigarette breaks, leaving me in the middle of the night to go sleep on the couch, hanging out with felix all the time when im literally right in front of you, do you think im stupid—?“

“what— he’s my cousin !” he retaliates, thick eyebrows furrowed at your reasoning, thinking that it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

“and im your girlfriend, farleigh. i don’t even wanna talk about how i was never downstairs tonight and you didn’t care enough to even realise !”

“you’re being absurd, there was a shitload of people” he’s leaning back against his heels, moving further from you as he looks at you in disbelief.

“i guess you don’t even care that we haven’t kissed in weeks”

your last words leaves him dumbfounded, having realised that he hasn’t felt the soft lips he’s so obsessed with on his for weeks now. it started for a couple of days when he was busy and overall just dealing with his own mental issues but only now had he realised that it’s been weeks. taking a few steps back, he’s now fully on his feet, with his arms crossed before moving a hand to rest on his jaw.

“you don’t have to love me if you don’t want to, farleigh” you mutter out softly, the volume only enough to register in his ears

you hear him scoff at the words as you turn to look at him, pacing around at the edge of the bed before snapping his head towards you

“i can’t believe this” you hear him mutter under his breath before tilting his head towards you

“you know, i try— sooo fucking hard to love you-“ he cocks his head to the side, eyes squinting in your direction. if you want to argue on the love in this relationship, he’s been meaning to fight back.

“i care so deeply about you, i pushed away my own issues, i struggle with my own being, those voices in my head—“ you’re looking at him, your whole body tense as you blink away the tears clinging onto your lashes

“all just so i can be with you, all so i can keep you safe with me, even if it means that im fucked up in the head—“

“farleigh—“

“i don’t know how do you want me to love you, because the only love i’ve ever felt was from my mom. even that they take away from me—“

“so i try, so fucking hard to love you, as best as i could. so for you to imply that it’s not enough—“ he scoffs once again, a pained laugh threatens to blow out of his mouth. looking up at him, his face contorts in what you could make out to be disappointment. or even disgust, with the way his lips bend into a frown. scanning your eyes across his sharp features, you wished you could take it all back so you wouldn’t have to see him looking at you like that. it isn’t hatred, or is it ? but you’d imagine how you’re pushing him through his limits.

“— that’s just fucking selfish. i don’t know what else do you want from me”

just as you’re about to open your mouth to say something, a loud thunder booms through the clouds, tearing the peace from the whole estate. the eardrums shattering sound horrifies the fear you have of thunder that you can’t help the scream piercing out of your mouth. you’re clutching tight at the material of the blanket, your head throbbing from the loud noise of the following rumbles from outside, the flashing of lightning accompanying the thunder that almost rips your heart of your chest, if it wasn’t already being ripped out by your cries.

immediately as he sees the flashing light before the thunder, like a natural reflex farleigh practically throws himself over to quickly wrap his arms around you and pull you into him. he knows how bad thunder fucks with your nerves and how much you hated being alone when there’s thunders outside. rubbing his hand against your arms, smoothing over your sweater, you hear him hush softly on top of your head as he pulls you closer to his chest by the side of your head.

he rests his chin against your hair while he gazes through the window. amidst all the chaos of the loud booming noises and car alarms going off outside, you found yourself fisting at his knitted sweater, clutching your fingers, in an attempt to be as close to him as possible, to feel safe. after all farleigh’s still your safe place. it’s not like you ever want to seek home in anybody else.

“im sorry” just as you hear him say these words you softly push him away to tilt your head towards his face. all those things he said, makes you feel like a shitty person. maybe you’re the one who didn’t care enough to see what he’s going through. maybe he’s right, you are selfish.

“why, um-“ you begin with a coarse voice, the lump in your throat still clinging onto the walls before you clear it

“why didn’t you say anything ?—“ moving your head to follow his eyes, the glossy brown pair struggling to look into yours.

“—do i not listen to you ever, farleigh ?” you struggle to find the right question for him, having no understanding for why he feels like he couldn’t say anything and instead, just left you hanging all these while.

he’s silent, eyebrows knitted as he looks up at you with a tear rolling down his cheek. the corners of his eyes red, he’s been struggling not to cry since you brought up the issue.

a shallow regret claws at the walls of your insides when you look at him, with tears down his pretty face. moving to sit on your heels, you peel the blanket off your shoulders to pull him into the warmth, both of you sitting underneath the fuzzy material

“im sorry“ the only same words he manages to let out, again

“farleigh i should’ve-“ just as you open your mouth he cuts you off

“no—”

“—im sorry that you feel like i don’t love you anymore” it’s only when he says this does he look into your eyes, his hands moving over your face to move the strands covering your eyes away.

“because i love you, so fucking much—“ farleigh inches over, hovering his forehead over yours that the tip of your noses bump into each other. you can feel his hot breath fanning against your skin, as he smooths his thumbs over your jaw, catching the stray tear falling over your waterline.

“all those stuff you said,, fuck i didn’t know it was fucked up—“

“im sorry i made you feel like that. i didn’t wanna drag you along with me. i didn’t wanna make you feel unsafe” his words pain you, knowing that he kept everything that was wrong to himself. somehow it angers you, the fact that he feels like he couldn’t come to you. does he think that you were gonna leave him if he did ?

“you know you can tell me anything, farleigh—“

“i know, i just,,” as he searches for words, a hiccup makes his shoulders jerk.

“i was afraid that-“ trailing his words off his lips, he tilts his head to suck in a deep breath, his shoulders shaky as you search into his tear stained face. you offer him the softest look you could give, letting him know that if you’re gonna be here until the sun comes up just talking, so be it.

“i didn’t want you to leave— i thought,, i thought if i ever said anything, you’d think im weak” his lips quiver as he utter the last of his words before a single tear spills over down his cheek. his hand reaches up to wipe over his nose, his slender fingers almost covering the entirety of his face.

you know how bad farleigh struggles with the way the cattons treat him, and how they always disregard it all if he even dare to bring it up. everyone seems to think they’re this untouchable perfectly wealthy family but you know how small farleigh feels sitting among them. if anyone spends as much time around them and farleigh, they’d also see how they’re treating him like an outsider while desperately trying to make him feel like family. but you didn’t know it was getting to him this badly. you didn’t know it fucks with him to the point that ut gets this bad. you could just imagine how hard he tried to conceal his own insecurities while having you around, trying to make you believe that everything was fine.

“i thought if i just kept quiet you wouldn’t notice” farleigh pushed his words out from the strings of sobs restraining him to speak as he finally breaks down from all the blocks of boulder that keeps being dropped on him, weighing him down

“im sorry—” now it’s your turn to say these two words to him, pulling him down towards you into a hug, your fingers sprawled out across his back, letting him rest his head in the crook of your neck as he cries.

“—im sorry that im too selfish to notice” you cant help but sob out into his shoulder, your hands pulling at the fabric on his back. he’s crummed up into you, as the both of you just sat there by the window, listening to the sounds of water droplets tapping at the glass.

as he pulls away, he moves so he could look into your eyes, your fingers cupping his jaw as it’s your turn to wipe his cheeks with your thumbs. trailing your eyes over each of his features, taking in every details on his face, from his long lashes to his tiny freckles. closing in the mere inches in between you, you place your lips against his delicately, kissing at his bottom lips. farleigh closes his eyes as he returns the kiss, soft and gentle, as you slowly move in a rhythm. it’s been so long since he last kissed you, and he’d only realise how much he misses sharing your warmths in a kiss, how much he misses just kissing away all the doubts you have deep within.

when you slowly pull away you feel his hands gripping on your waist as he moves forward to catch your lips again, into another kiss. he feels like it wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to stay like this forever if he could. caressing his jaw, you lean back into the kiss as you hear him hum and continue to move his lips against yours as if he never stopped kissing you since your first kiss.

pushing him away by his chest, you had to take a breath as soft giggles leave your lips looking at his swollen ones. both from crying, and also kissing you like he hasn’t for years. he can’t help but let out a few chuckles too, your pained smile radiates warmth off his heart, melting it all over again.

“teach me how to love you properly” he starts, pulling at the blanket to peel it off of him and placing it around you again.

knowing that farleigh barely ever felt love from his own family, let alone be shown how it actually is to be loved, it’s only logical that the things he did for you, and the love he showed you, was the only thing he knew of love. and to compare to the scraps he receives in this house, the love that farleigh has ever showed you was everything in this world for him, and probably beyond the kind of love he could ever imagined.

“i will”

you promise, as you’re willing to fix this over and over again knowing that you’d also be fixing him, who’s been broken since the day he was born. if anyone else leaves when the only thing he seeks for is love, let you be his shelter.

taglist: @flipsconhelado @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @farleighlover @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @inglourious-imagines @aracade

[nanamiscocksleeve]

CLOSED! Happy (early) holidays everyone!

I can't believe we're in November already! Thanksgiving is around the corner and Christmas is coming up next month! Made me really get into a festive mood.

In the spirit of sharing and giving, I'd like to introduce an online Secret Santa of sorts.

Please read the how to enter section before requesting.

Fic list

Info:

The event works the way a typical Secret Santa would. Each person participating will be writing one fic, but it will be for another person. I'm thinking 500 words minimum, no upper cap.

There will be a list that keeps track of who is joining. Each person that asks to join will give a brief description about the fic they want written (more info below)

People entering must be willing to write. You can't ask for a fic if you don't want to write one in return.

All genres are welcome, does not have to include smut if you don't want to.

Fandoms - Jujutsu Kaisen and Love and Deepspace

How to enter/Deadlines:

Inbox or DM me saying you want to participate with a brief description of the story you'd like written. For example, a message to me would look like "Hey Ray, I want to take part in the Secret Santa. My fandom is JJK and I'd like it to feature Nanami. Maybe some cute fluffy romance between him and reader." OR "Hi Ray, I want to join Secret Santa. I'd like Xavier from LADS, with some angst or a slow burn. Smut is ok but no rough sex."

Once you inbox or DM I'll update a list with your story description.

The last date to ask to join is November 25th. This is because I need a final head count for participants to match up a secret Santa to everyone.

Once this deadline is reached, I'll run all the participants through a random generator which will match up who gets who. I'll obviously be matching up participants based on the fandoms asked.

I will reach out to each of you separately to tell you who you're writing for. Check the list for the story description.

Obviously, do not tell the person that you're writing for them until you're ready to post.

When posting your fic, use the hashtag "ncs secret santa" and "merry ficmas" and tag me as well as the person you wrote the fic for.

The deadline for the fic to be published is December 25th (gasp! Christmas? Who would have guessed?)

If you are unable to partcipate, please let me know immediately so that I can update the list because I don't want someone to not get a fic.

Are you participating too Ray? Yes I am!

Merry Ficmas! Have fun ya'll!

dividers by @/ cafekitsune

@hesperisms @sassypossum @lazyjellyfish300

[fishbonex]

Ignorance: part 1/?

Joel Miller x reader

Summary: You confess to Joel and are rejected.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: ANGST, mention of deaths, typical canon violence, end of the world, Jackson!Joel.

note: this story had already been posted before my blog was deleted and is also available on AO3.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

Ignoring the bad part of things was your favorite thing to do. It made you less sad and gave a false sense of normality in the destroyed and rotten reality you lived in. Not that Jackson was destroyed and rotten, but the world outside the gates was. So that's why you ignored everything, the spores, the cordyceps, the clickers, runners, lurkers, all of them. You did everything to escape being put on patrol, you wouldn't leave Jackson unless it was a matter of life and death. Your tasks in the community were taking care of the gardens, the stables and cleaning the community cafeteria.

 

It seems like a lot, but it's good for not looking idle and useless, it takes up your entire day and gives you a feeling of work accomplished and satisfaction at the end of the day, when you climb the few old wooden steps to the porch of your house. Those steps really need replacing, actually. If you stood still for more than a few minutes on top of them you ran the risk of falling. But you left that aside, you had something else in mind. In fact, you had one person in mind.

 

That almost completely gray-haired man, with a grey beard, robust, deep and serious voice, strong Texan accent. Joel Miller. You couldn't stand being around him for more than a few minutes, your heart was beating very quickly and you felt butterflies in your stomach. The man was Ellie's father, a girl a few years younger than you, she was a bit foul-mouthed but nice, you had already spoken to her a few times.

 

You held your breath from the first time you saw him in the community a year ago, and it's never been the same since. Whenever you passed him on the streets you held an idiotic sigh, you felt like a teenager for acting like that, but you couldn't help it. The man had your heart in his hands and you couldn't do anything to get it back.

 

Some people in Jackson spoke badly about Joel behind his back, saying he was a surly, violent man who had a lot of mood swings. One of your few friends, Emily, said the same thing when you mentioned Joel to her, but you ignored it. It wasn't like he was that bad, it should just be that the hard years he lived outside the gates were taking a toll on him, but you were sure he was a good person.

 

You said this to Emily, but she reiterated that Joel was an extremely violent and bad-tempered man who had done terrible things in the outside world. You chuckled and said 'and who hasn't done terrible things out there?'. Emily sighed and the conversation ended there

 

Holidays in Jackson were celebrated without fail, especially the most famous ones, like Christmas and New Year, but Maria began to innovate and encourage other things, like spring food festivals, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day. It seemed strange to celebrate Valentine's Day at the end of the world, but the young people in the community seemed to get excited, you included, so hearts and pink things were hung on the doors of the houses and some lights were painted pink too, in the community bar.

 

Oh, one thing that wasn't mentioned: your house was almost opposite Joel's house. A coincidence. You took advantage of the Valentine's Day arrangements and picked up some decorations to hang in your house, a medium pink paper heart was glued, and next to it two small red hearts. You pulled away and smiled widely as you looked at the minimal decorations that gave some life to the almost colorless landscape.

 

You heard heavy footsteps trampling the snow and turned to see the man himself, shotgun slung over his shoulders, backpack on his back and a tired expression on his face. Joel looked directly at your door, then looked at you and shook his head and turned to enter his own without saying anything.

You let out an excited squeal along with other women whenever someone confessed to their loved one or handed over a hastily made card. The number of these events had been increasing since the community was dressed up for the holiday. You couldn't wait to do the same, you had already planned everything, you had handmade a card for Joel, it wasn't pink or red, he didn't seem to like those things very much. It was a nice card that could be used to decorate his room, or something like that, if he didn't actually have a room.

 

You wouldn't do that in front of everyone, you knew Joel was an older and reserved man, he didn't seem to like attention. You didn't know his schedule, you only saw him occasionally passing home at dusk, so that's what you did: you sat on your sofa below the window and waited until Joel passed by. As soon as he appeared in your field of vision with the same thick beige jacket, the same shotgun slung over his shoulder, the same worn brown backpack and the same heavy boots you stood up and took a deep breath. She watched until he entered the house and closed the door, then took the card from the coffee table and put on his coat, opened the door and took the few steps it took until he arrived at Joel's house.

 

The card you had prepared was made of yellow paper, folded in half, it had a bee drawn with your best artistic gifts and right below it there was the phrase 'Bee mine?' in large black letters. You let out a giggle through your nose and walked up the few steps to Joel's house, knocked on the door softly and waited.

 

You didn't notice, but the window curtain moved to open a tiny crack, where Joel peeked out. A few seconds later the door opened and you caught your breath. There he was, he looked tired and you felt bad for going to talk to him at this time. Shaking your head slightly, you were about to start speaking, but before you could open your mouth, Joel spoke:

 

"May I help you?" the hoarse voice spoke.

 

"Oh, good night." you said shyly after a few minutes. "I... I wanted to, uhm–"

 

"Listen, young lady, I don't mean to be rude, but I just got here and I'm tired." he continued.

 

You swallowed hard and took the card from behind your back, holding it towards him.

 

"I-I was hoping to talk, but you're tired, so... here it is, I made it for you." you waved the card but he didn't move to take it. "It's for Valentine's Day."

 

Your stomach was churning, his expression didn't look very good, he looked very seriously at you, then looked at the card.

 

"You can take it, it’s for you–” you tried to extend the card to him again.

 

"I'm sorry, but, did you really think this was a good idea, girl?" the tone of voice was rude now. "Coming over to my house like that and handing me a piece of paper?"

 

"I– uhm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." you swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I just wanted to give the card I made."

 

"And why do you want to give me this bullshit so much?"

 

You had your face lowered but you looked up, slightly wide-eyed at his aggressive sentence, consumed by a wave of angry courage you blurted out:

 

"I really like you."

 

"What?" he said mockingly after a few seconds. "Do you really like me?"

 

"Yes." you answered bravely, still feeling the lump in your throat. "I– I really like you, I mean… I mean I'm in love with you."

 

Joel stared at your face for a few seconds, as if studying you, then let out a light nasal laugh and said:

 

"I'm old enough to be your father, girl. Go home and don't bother me again, you seem like the pushy type."

 

"Listen, please, I've loved you for a long time–"

 

"What are you talking about, stupid girl?" he looked very angry now, his brow was furrowed and his nostrils were flared. "Love? You don't know what you're talking about."

 

"If you give me a chance to–"

 

"Go home, I told you." he said. "There's no chance of that, or anything else, I don't want anything to do with someone like you, understand? Don't bother me anymore."

 

Then he went back inside and slammed the door in your face.

You knew very early and came home very late to avoid laying eyes on Joel. Maybe she shouldn't have ignored the warnings about him after all, but he was still present in your heart. You shoved the card deep into your dresser, you were embarrassed to look at it now.

 

Ironically, now that you wanted to be more busy you had less work, winter had arrived and the ground was frozen, so the garden was at a standstill. So you dedicated yourself to the horses and cleaning the mess hall, returning home at almost the same time as always.

 

You hadn't told Emily what you were going to do and you hadn't told her about the rejection either, she was going to throw it in your face that she had warned you. You felt so stupid now, how could you have thought you had a chance? So much self-esteem.

 

The days passed quickly and you were thankful for that, but it wasn't like you forgot what happened. Your first interaction with Joel since the incident was when you were cleaning the cafeteria to close, it was already dark and it was practically empty. Mopping the floor repeatedly and sighing every now and then, you didn't see him walk through the large doors.

 

"Are you guys finishing early?" the thick Texan accent spoke from behind you and you froze momentarily, then turned to him with an effort of blank expression.

 

"This week, yes, we are down one person." you replied and went back to mopping the floor.

 

"Okay, thanks." he seemed to hesitate for a moment before walking outside again, and you let out a sharp breath.

The universe seemed to make fun of you and a few days later you had your next interaction with Joel.

 

Someone covered you in cleaning the cafeteria, so you used the free time to try to fix the rotten steps on your porch. As you repeatedly hammered the nails into place, you felt a poke on your shoulder and stopped your movements, feeling your stomach turn in knots when you saw Joel behind you.

 

"Can I help you?" you asked, standing up and brushing the snow and dirt off your knees.

 

"Do you realize it's already night? I need to go out on patrol tomorrow and you're making too much noise." he said rudely.

 

"Right. I'm sorry." You turned around and started picking up the tools you used, holding them against your chest and seeing the best way to climb without falling.

 

You had only fixed one of the steps, the one closest to the ground, so you climbed up on it and stretched your leg to try to climb over the others, but the new step wasn't securely fastened and you slipped, letting out a pathetic little scream.

 

You heard footsteps approaching and his arms lifting you off the ground quickly.

 

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Joel's deep voice asked and you glanced at him sideways.

 

"I'm fine, thank you." you replied and saw him come closer to rest his hand on the small of your back. "Don't touch me." you exclaimed.

 

"I just wanted to see if you were hurt." he took a few steps back, looking embarrassed.

 

"I am well, thank you." you responded quickly and walked away from him, picking up the materials you used earlier again.

 

You balanced yourself and took a little jump to the porch, entered and closed the door.

[wchswift]

Under the Lights ༉‧₊˚ 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader Summary: A sweet and peaceful Christmas with Dean. Content: fluff, mostly soft moments, family, first Christmas at the bunker, I hate Mary but she is mentioned briefly, not proofread, English isn’t my first language :) Word count: 2k A/N: almost christmas and im so excited!! I really love christmas and lately these are the only ideas I can think of to write lol. i just love soft and happy dean so I thought I'd write a cute one shot about him having a good christmas bc all i wanted was to spend these holidays with him

mdni 𖤐 18+

Dean leaned against the doorway, the faintest curve of a smile playing on his lips. The sight of you, utterly absorbed in decorating the tree, tugged at something deep in his chest. The soft glow of the twinkling lights painted your face in golds and silvers. You were on your toes, reaching for a high branch, determined to hang an ornament in its perfect place. From his vantage point, Dean couldn’t help but grin. The way your nose crinkled when something didn’t sit just right, the soft hum of Christmas music as you worked—it all made the bunker feel a little less like a fortress and a little more like home.

The table behind you bore the chaos of your efforts—ornaments arranged and rearranged, tinsel spilling onto the floor like silken threads of moonlight. It was chaos, yes, but it was yours, and Dean found it impossible to look away.

“Sweetheart,” he finally said, his voice warm and teasing, breaking through the soft hum of Let It Snow playing in the background. “Not to rush a masterpiece, but you’ve been at this tree longer than it takes Santa to finish his route.”

You turned, giving him a mock glare, your lips pressed into a pout that was as endearing as it was teasing. “It has to be perfect, Dean.”

“It already is,” he countered, stepping closer, his hands casually stuffed into his pockets. “Lights, ornaments, a star on top—what more does a tree need?”

“Your enthusiasm,” you shot back, turning back to adjust the ribbon for what must have been the hundredth time.

Dean chuckled, moving to your side, sliding an arm around your waist, and pulling you against him. “My enthusiasm’s here,” he murmured, his lips brushing your temple. "I'm just more contained about it."

You let out a soft sigh, letting yourself lean deeper into his warm embrace as you closed your eyes for a moment, savoring the comfort he provided. "I know, Dean," you began, your voice gentle but filled with understanding. "But I also know how excited you get about these celebrations. Deep down, you wish for that typical family cliche, and you and Sam truly deserve it. I just want us to have a memorable time together… Could you please enjoy this too and get into the mood with me?"

You turned your face to meet his gaze, your eyes sparkling with hope and sincerity. Your tone was calm, and the warmth of your words seemed to hang in the air between you. Dean, ever the skeptic, tried to roll his eyes in playful defiance, but a smile broke through despite his efforts. The corners of his mouth lifted, and he leaned in, planting a quick, soft kiss on your lips before surrendering to your encouragement, as he usually did.

The sound of boots against metal echoed through the bunker as Sam descended the stairs. His voice rang out before he even reached the bottom. “Dean, what’s going on in here?”

Sam paused, his eyebrows shooting up as he took in the sight of his brother atop the map table, duct-taping garland to the ceiling beams.

"Decking the halls, Sammy. What’s it look like?” He replied, still focused on the lights.

“It looks like a fire hazard,” Sam deadpanned, crossing his arms as he took in the mess of lights, ornaments, and tinsel scattered across the room.

You emerged from the kitchen, carrying a tray of cookies, just as Dean hopped down from the table. “Sam, you should’ve seen him earlier. He tried to hang stockings with fishing wire.”

Dean shrugged, unapologetic. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Sam sighed, shaking his head. "So, this is your new thing now? Christmas?” He muttered though a small smile tugged at his lips.

“Oh, come on, Sam,” you chimed in, setting the cookies down on the table. “It's the best time of the year. Even hunters deserve a little holiday spirit.”

Dean grabbed a cookie, pointing it at Sam. “She’s right. Stop being a Grinch.”

Reluctantly, Sam joined in, helping you and Dean finish decorating the bunker. By the time you were done, the usually cold, utilitarian space looked warm and inviting. Lights draped across the walls, the centerpiece Sam had crafted out of pine branches and candles sat proudly on the map table, and the tree sparkled in the corner.

Dean stepped back, hands on his hips, surveying the scene. “Not bad for a bunch of hunters, huh?”

Later that evening, the bunker had settled into a cozy stillness. Sam had retreated to his room, leaving you and Dean sitting by the softly glowing tree. The faint crackle of a vinyl record Dean had unearthed earlier filled the air, Bing Crosby crooning about dreaming of a white Christmas.

You leaned back against the armchair, watching Dean as he entertained himself by drinking his hot chocolate. The moment felt right, so you reached beside you and pulled out a carefully wrapped box tied with red string.

“Okay,” you said, your voice tinged with both excitement and hesitation, “before you make a big deal out of this, I just want to say that it’s practical.”

Dean’s eyebrows rose as he took the box, his lips twitching into a grin. “Practical, huh? Not sure what that means coming from you.”

“Just open it,” you urged, your hands fidgeting nervously in your lap.

Dean unwrapped the box with care, his grin softening as he revealed a thick leather-bound journal. His fingers brushed over the cover, and for a moment, he was quiet, his thumb tracing the edges of the pages.

“It’s, uh…” you started, your voice softer now. “I noticed you don’t really have a place to write things down—your thoughts, memories, whatever. So I thought… maybe you could use it. For good stuff. Things you want to remember. Not like hunting stuff or anything like your dad's but something good? Or whatever you want I don't know...” you rambled, feeling anxious.

Dean opened the journal, flipping through the blank pages. Inside the front cover, you’d written a small inscription in your neat handwriting: For all the moments you want to hold on to.

He stared at the words for a long beat before letting out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “You know me too well, sweetheart.”

“I just thought,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, “after everything we’ve been through, it might be nice to have something that’s yours. Something that’s just… good.”

Dean closed the journal and set it carefully on the table beside him. Then he turned to you, his green eyes impossibly soft. “You always know what I need before I even know it myself.”

Before you could respond, he reached behind him and pulled something from his jacket pocket. “Okay, my turn.”

He held out a small box, its edges worn, like it had been carried around for some time. “It’s not new,” he said, almost apologetically. “But I’ve been meaning to give this to you.”

You opened the box slowly, revealing a simple yet beautiful silver bracelet. The charms hanging were clearly chosen by a hunter, it was small and subtle, but unmistakable.

“It was my mom’s,” Dean said quietly, his gaze dropping to the bracelet. “She always said it was for protection. I’ve kept it all these years, but… I think she’d want you to have it.”

Your throat tightened, and tears pricked at your eyes as you looked at him. “Dean, I… I can’t take this. It’s too important.”

Dean shook his head, reaching out to take your hand. “You’re important,” he said simply. “And if anyone deserves to have it, it’s you.”

You stared at the bracelet, overwhelmed by the gesture. Then, without a word, you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his shoulder. He held you tightly, his hand cradling the back of your head.

When you finally pulled away, you slipped the bracelet onto your wrist, smiling through the tears in your eyes. ���Thank you, Dean. I’ll take good care of it.”

“I know you will,” he said softly, his thumb brushing across your knuckles.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the only sound the soft hum of the record player. And as you leaned back against him, the bracelet resting cool against your skin, you felt a sense of belonging that you hadn’t known you were missing.

The warm connection from the gift exchange flowed naturally into the next day, making every interaction lighter, and more meaningful.

The kitchen was a flurry of activity as the three of you prepared dinner. Dean insisted on taking charge of the main course, proudly presenting a vegetarian lasagna for Sam and you.

“See? I’m not just a pie guy,” he said, grinning.

Meanwhile, you and Sam teamed up to bake cookies. It started out innocent enough, but it quickly devolved into a flour fight when Sam accidentally knocked over the mixing bowl.

Dean walked in just as you lobbed a handful of flour at Sam, only to hit him square in the chest instead. He froze, staring down at his now-flour-covered shirt. “What the hell, guys?”

Dean just watched you and Sam burst into laughter, trying to stay mad.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean muttered, brushing flour off his jacket. “Real funny. Guess who’s cleaning this up?”

“Not me,” you and Sam said in unison, making you chuckle again.

Dean shook his head, a grin appearing on his face despite his attempt to remain irritated.

Later that night, the three of you gathered in the living room, your plates cleared and the remnants of the day’s chaos tucked away. Sam stretched out on the other armchair with a book, the corner of his mouth twitching upward as he occasionally glanced at you and Dean by the tree, his arm draped protectively around your shoulders.

The bracelet he’d given you caught the soft glow of the lights, its charm resting lightly against your wrist. You found yourself absently touching it, grounding yourself in the weight of what it meant.

Sam finally closed his book, setting it aside as he stretched his long legs. “You know,” he said, breaking the comfortable silence, “You two actually did a pretty good job. I think this might be the first time the bunkers actually felt… normal. Like a real home.”

Dean snorted softly. “Took long enough, huh?”

Sam smiled, his expression soft. “Yeah. But I’m glad we got here.”

Dean raised his mug in a mock toast. “To surviving another year and not burning the place down with Christmas lights.”

Sam rolled his eyes but lifted his mug too. “Yeah, yeah... To family.”

You lifted your own mug, smiling as you echoed the sentiment. “To family.”

The three of you sat quietly for a while, watching the lights twinkle on the tree. Eventually, Sam excused himself, muttering something about research, leaving you and Dean alone again.

Dean nudged you gently, drawing your attention. “Come with me for a sec,” he said, his voice low but insistent.

Curious, you followed him as he grabbed a thick blanket from the couch and led you up the large stairs of the bunker. He stopped at one of the heavy iron doors, twisting the wheel to unlock it before pulling it open to reveal the wide, open expanse of the night sky.

The cold air hit you first, crisp and biting, but the sight of the stars made you forget it almost instantly. Dean draped the blanket over your shoulders and pulled you close, his warmth a welcome contrast to the chill.

“Figured we could use some fresh air,” he said simply, his voice quiet.

You leaned into him, your head resting against his shoulder as you gazed up at the stars. They glittered against the inky blackness, impossibly bright and infinite, like tiny promises of hope scattered across the sky.

“We really did it huh?” Dean murmured, his voice low and warm.

“Did what?” you asked, tilting your head to look up at him.

“This,” he said simply, gesturing back to the bunker. “Christmas. The whole thing. It’s not half bad.”

“It’s perfect,” you said softly, resting your head back against his shoulder.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The world felt distant here, the weight of hunting, loss, and responsibility held at bay by the vastness of the universe.

Dean’s voice broke the silence, soft but sure. “You know, I never thought I’d get something like this.”

You turned to look at him, your brow furrowing slightly. “Something like what?”

He gestured toward the stars, the blanket, the faint glow of the bunker behind you. “All this. A night where everything’s quiet. Where it feels like we’re not just surviving.”

Your chest tightened at his words, and you reached for his hand, lacing your fingers with his. “You deserve this, Dean. You deserve nights like this and so much more.”

He looked at you then, his green eyes shimmering in the soft glow of the starlight above. A gentle smile played on his lips as he spoke, “So do you,” his voice barely above a whisper. His thumb grazed over your knuckles, sending a warm thrill through you. "Thank you." With a tender sincerity, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was soft and lingering, filled with a depth of love and unspoken emotions that seemed to wrap around you like a cozy blanket, leaving you breathless in the stillness of the night.

The two of you stayed there, wrapped in the quiet and each other, until the cold became too much to ignore.

As you made your way back inside, Dean caught your hand, stopping you just before you reached the main hallway.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low and rough around the edges. “Merry Christmas.”

You smiled, leaning up to give him a peck on the lips, your heart full. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

And in that moment, with the warmth of his hand in yours and the quiet hum of life around you, you felt something you hadn’t in a long time: hope. This was home—messy, chaotic, and imperfect. And it was everything you needed.

a/n: oh my god, I had so much fun writing this :) I don't know if I liked how it turned out that much, but I thought it was cute enough to post...

𖤐 reblogs and feedback are appreciated! requests are also welcome, ty!

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 36!

a couple more recs for you <3 i've been slowly making my way through the sharing a bed ao3 tag because Reasons lmao but there's plenty of variety if you're in the mood for something else as well!

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading!

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

bed chem | rangerdanger (mxgicxltrxgedy)?@call-me-medusa | 6.6k | E

the three times Buck and Eddie talked about sex before they (+1) had sex for the first time. this captures the buddie dynamic so well! i love seeing buck get all flustered <3

everything always works out in the end | cowboygogetem | 20.6K | T

While Eddie is still recovering mentally from being shot, the 118 goes to a remote lakehouse for a well-deserved vacation. Along the way, Eddie realizes that he and Buck have built a life together. the maddie & eddie in this fic is BRILLIANT and i love it so much!!

giver/taker | spiritsontheroof/@spiritsontheroof | 7.2k | G

Eddie wants, wants, wants. cannot express how much i love it when eddie lets himself have good things and this fic is the perfect example of that <3

IKEAn't Believe We're So Close Yet Sofa | znks/@znks | 7.5k | M

Just your standard traditional typical snowed-in IKEA fic but in Los Angeles with some silly firefighters i've reread this multiple times actually, it's just that good! i'm a sucker for a snowed-in scenario and this is such a great one!!

pauses, then says you're my best friend (you knew what it was) | instantcaramel/@getemcowboybuckley | 4.2k | G

buck drags eddie to a taylor swift concert. wackiness ensues. i love love love a good social media fic (especially when formatted this well!) and seeing both buddie and eddie's swiftieism unfold is lovely <3

share this hour of make-believe | fleetinghearts/@shitouttabuck | 1.2k | G

quarantine finds eddie sharing a bed with a pillow-thief and sleep-talker. he minds less than he thinks. sleep talking buck my beloved <3 this is funny and soft and so good!

you could call me babe for christmas ('tis the damn season) | prettyboybuckley/@prettyboybuckley | 30.3k | T

Buck and Eddie pretend to be dating as Buck takes the Diaz boys along to Hershey. Once there, things get a little out of hand, and Buck comes to a realization... fake dating! fake proposal!! such a lovely fic!!

[starry-hughes]

bah humbug (andrei svechnikov)

day 11 of star’s ficmas

andrei svechnikov x reader

Andrei didn’t understand why you were so adverse to staying in his apartment. He had been staying at your apartment for a couple of days now when he could. You would get weird about staying at his place and he didn’t understand why. 

“What are you doing?” you almost shouted as Andrei was leaning down to unplug your Christmas tree for the night. Your apartment had been decorated since November 1st. A decorated Christmas tree, stockings hanging on the TV stand, tinsel everywhere, Christmas blankets on the couch. Andrei didn’t exactly like decorating for everything. 

He was a bit of a humbug during the holidays. For the first holiday season you shared with him, you chalked it up to the fact that he was missing his family and home. But then, he just wouldn’t decorate. His apartment was always clean and the only decorations was a framed photo of you and him in the living room above the tv. 

“Turning off the tree for bed?” 

You shook your head, “No! It has to stay on! It’s supposed to shine pretty at night!” 

His eyebrows furrowed together but he let it go. You were in your pajamas, Christmas pajama pants and one of Andrei’s shirts. “My place tomorrow night?” he questioned as the two of you made your way to your bedroom. You shrugged, it wasn’t that you hated his apartment. His bed was much softer than yours and Andrei had a shorter drive to the rink from his apartment. You just hated being in the apartment without decorations. 

“Maybe. Can we get a Christmas tree for your place?” 

Andrei thought for a second. “You don’t like staying there? Because no decorations?” 

You nodded sheepishly. “I don’t feel like you’re in the holiday spirit! Your apartment is so… what did that tweet say after the Halloween pictures? It feels sterile! Like so clean and no personalization!” 

“Clean is good! And I have the picture of us!” 

“Just let me decorate?” 

He narrowed his eyes at you as you crawled into bed, covering yourself up in the blankets. “No, it’s too late to decorate anyway, not worth it.” 

Your mouth gaped. “It’s not too late!” 

Andrei always had you check in on his apartment when he was on a roadie. He was gone for practically a week. You unlocked his door, checking in on the apartment he left in perfect condition. Dishes put away, shoes neatly stacked on the rack by the door. 

You didn’t mean to buy a lot of decorations, but you were dragging a heavy Christmas tree box up to his apartment with bags full of additional decorations. Oh Andrei was going to kill you when he got home. His apartment was decorated everywhere. You tried to pick up random pieces of tinsel that fell off as you put it up. You cringed after getting glitter on his couch. 

Andrei wasn’t expecting you to offer to pick him up from the airport. He typically got a ride with one of the other guys but you had offered to pick him up. You nervously tapped on your steering wheel as Andrei got into the car and greeted you with a hard kiss. You were pretty quiet on the ride to his apartment which he found odd. 

“Okay, don’t kill me, but I decorated your apartment.” 

Andrei cocked an eyebrow, “You what?” 

You sighed, “You always get into a humbug mood! It crushes my holiday spirit! I had to do something about it.” 

Andrei entered his apartment behind you. Eyes landing on all the decorations. He barely recognized his own apartment. “If you want, I can take it all down,” you whispered but Andrei pulled you to him. “You did all this for me?” 

You nodded, face turning red. He mumbled an ‘I love you’ in his native language before kissing you. “No more humbug?” you pulled away from the kiss. “No humbug.”

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Anna Magnani (Rome Open City, Mamma Roma, The Rose Tattoo)—don't take my word for it, here are some of the things she was called during her career: "la lupa (the wolf) of Italian cinema," "passionate, fearless, and exciting," "the volcanic earth mother of all Italian cinema," "one of the most impressive actresses since Garbo," "Whenever Magnani laughs or cries (which is often), it's as if you've never seen anyone laugh or cry before: has laughter ever been so burstingly joyful or tears so shatteringly sad?" and maybe best of all, from Tennessee Williams, who wrote multiple roles specifically for her: "She is simply a rare being who seems to have about her a little lightning-shot cloud all her own...In a crowded room, she can sit perfectly motionless and silent and still you feel the atmospheric tension of her presence, its quiver and hum in the air like a live wire exposed, and a mood of Anna's is like the presence of royalty."

Rosemary Clooney (White Christmas)—Rosemary!!! Her singing voice is incredible, she looks stunning in everything she wears, she has this quiet gravitas on screen that I haven’t seen anywhere else!! She deserves to be known as a lot more than George Clooney’s Aunt (if anything, I think of him as Rosemary Clooney’s nephew who also went into the business). Also when she got older she had this amazing sexy raspy voice (which sadly was due to smoking a lot but doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s very very sexy)

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Anna Magnani:

An icon of post-war neorealist italian cinema - an unbelievably good actress. Also, the first non-english speaking actress to win the Oscar for Best Actress (in 1956)!

realness!! amid the typical hollywood pristine glamour anna magnani stuck out as sexy in a really real, grounded way. so much so that even shallow 40s hollywood allowed her to come over from italy to be in some high profile movies. an icon

She smoked, she drank, she didn't give a f-. Her acting was described as explosive, with a lot of emotions and drama and they called her a she-wolf. Playwright Tennessee Williams became an admirer of her acting and wrote The Rose Tattoo (1955) specifically for her to star in, a role for which she received an Academy Award for Best Actress, becoming the first Italian – and first non-English speaking woman – to win an Oscar.

Rosemary:

Rosemary Clooney made very few movies, and built her career mostly as a singer--however, anyone who has ever seen her in White Christmas understands that this was Hollywood's loss, because she exudes glamour and charm and does a wonderful job acting it as well. She's gorgeous, she has a beautiful voice, she has one of those faces that the screen just loves, and she is, frankly, hot as hell.

An absolutely amazing singer and so stunning. Her performance in that black dress in White Christmas just takes my breath away every time. She's also George Clooney's aunt.

She was a very cool woman, who had a very hard life. She had severe mental health struggles throughout her life and left the stage for quite a while, but fought hard to make her career comeback later in life with a little timely help from good friend and frequent collaborator Bing Crosby. She also duetted with Marlene Dietrich early in her career

Okay so obviously she's more a singer than an actress, but she was still one of the best musical actresses of the era! They just didn't know what to do with her. She really wasn't a dancer at all, so you'll see most of the numbers in White Christmas she's got a convenient prop to sweep around. However, this ~weakness brought about a love story for the ages! Dante Di Paulo (you may know him as the mustachioed townie rival to the Pontipees in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) was hired to teach her to dance and they fell in love over rehearsals. Separated by filming schedules, Rosemary ended up marrying José Ferrer and breaking Dante's heart, but 20 years and two divorces from José later they met in traffic. Not about to miss her second chance, she honked her horn and yelled her phone number at him (talk about carpe diem). He moved in a couple of months later but they finally made it official in 1997 because "our grandchildren want us to get married". They were utterly devoted to each other and he was very much a Wife Guy.

when she. when she. 'love you didnt do right by me' from white christmas-

She was very funny and very civic-minded, she campaigned with RFK during his presidential run. She had a very close bond with her nephew (that George Clooney yes), he even had her songs on the playlist when he proposed to his wife! She didn't enjoy singing this song from White Christmas, as it wasn't quite in her range, but she's incredibly powerful and undoubtedly very hot in this scene (fun fact, oscar winner George Chakiris is one of her dancers here, before his big break!) -

[libraryofloveletters]

The Christmas Market

Pierre Gasly x Fem!Reader

Warnings: home sick reader, pierre is trying his best, christmas markets, cheesy couple stuff, pierre is kinda sweet when he's not being an ick, pierre can't skate for shit, cooties as these kids would say.

Word Count: 718

Author's Note: again, my charity of the month writing the man. y'all know I don't fuck with this man like that lmaooo - for @2-fast-2-curious cause this is her pookie

--

You were missing home quite a bit and Pierre decides to indulge in one of your favourite holiday traditions.

Home sickness was no joke and it was kicking in big time.

You lived in Milan since you had applied to go to University there. You moved during your first year and fell in love with the place and with a certain formula one driver who lived there as well.

As much as you've come to love Milan and Pierre, you always went home for the holidays. For the last three years, you were home for Christmas and in France for new years with your boyfriend, Pierre and his family.

This year was much different, your studies kept you in Milan a lot longer than expected and you would be missing out on a lot of your family traditions.

No tree decorating, no cookie decorating and no Christmas market.

Pierre being the sweet boyfriend he was, was trying his best to cheer you up as much as he could. He usually waited until a week or two before Christmas to get his Christmas tree but this year, he bought the biggest artificial tree one could find and about a million and one ornaments to see if he could improve your mood.

And for a bit, it did work. The 5 hours it took you two to put the tree together, your mood did improve but the next day, it was back to focusing on your exams and the lack of Christmas mood was apparent.

He offered to bake cookies with you but you turned down his offer; you typically baked your mom's famous and secret cookies but you didn't have the recipe, hence the secret part.

Pierre was running out of ideas but then an ad for the Christmas market popped on his Instagram.

He finds you on the couch, finally popping your laptop for the afternoon. "How about a date night?" He asks, reaching for your hand.

"Babe," you groaned, letting him pull you up. "I'm not really in the mood."

"C'mon, some fresh air will make you feel better. You've been glued to your laptop all day."

"Fine," you gave in, the two of you getting ready. Pierre didn't give you any idea as to where you're going other than to dress warm. You figured you'd probably walk to dinner or something but you weren't - he opened the car door for you, driving to some undisclosed location.

To be honest, you weren't paying much attention to him or where he was going until the car came to a full stop, Pierre turning off the engine. You finally look up from your phone to see the sign in front of you; Christmas market.

"You didn't," you turn to face your boyfriend.

The man smiles, nodding. "I know it's not the one at home but, it's still a Christmas market so I hope that counts."

"Of course it does!" You reach over to give him a kiss, your hand resting on his jaw softly.

Pierre gets out of the car and you mirror his action, the two of you holding hands as you walk into the market.

The Christmas trees planted around the place, the lights wrapped around the roof of each stand, the sound of laughter and cheesy Christmas music filled your ears, as did the smell of gingerbread. You two decided to make the rounds.

You walked through the market, taking in all of it. Pierre let you drag him to every booth, buying you whatever your heart desired, even the ridiculously overpriced hot cocoa. You took photos as you went, stopping in at the photo booth; the classic ones of you two smiling, giggling and kissing with the stamp at the bottom - Milan Christmas Market 2023.

The night wrapped up with you attempting to teach Pierre how to skate. His hands in yours as you carefully took him around the skating rink.

He falls against you, you're pinned between him - a man struggling to hold himself up- and the barricade. "Did you have a good time?" He asks and you nod, a smile on your face.

"I did. Thank you for this, baby."

Pierre leans in, almost slipping but he catches himself as he kisses you. There's a little boy skating by, doing better than Pierre you might add, who makes a face at you two kissing. "Ew!"

You and Pierre can't help your laughter.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Feral: First Christmas

Summary: It's Dean's first Christmas since being free and no longer feral. However it's only been a few weeks and he's not quite ready to do everything a typical Alpha would, especially one as famous as him. But Y/N has an idea up her sleeve to give him a fun Christmas experience...

Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader

Word Count: 1,500ish

Warnings: language, smidge of angst

A/N: Enjoy!

______

“Hey, Peter,” you said, quickly rushing inside the house, following him upstairs to your bedroom. He pushed open the door, Sam giving you a weary look before his gaze drifted over to the figure staring out the window. 

“He hasn’t moved in two hours,” said Sam. You shrugged out of your winter coat and boots, patting across the hardwoods in your wool socks. “Or talked. He won’t-”

You smirked when you saw Dean’s face, Sam cutting himself off. 

“Is he having a breakdown?” whispered Sam, Peter rolling his eyes at Sam’s overprotectiveness.

“No, no nothing so serious,” you said, lightly grazing your finger against Dean’s bonding gland, his body lax. You gently guided him to the bed, helping him sit and lay down, his eyes quickly shutting. “He was sleepwalking.”

“Sleepwalking?”

“I told you so,” mumbled Peter, heading for the exit. “Let me know if you’re going back out Y/N.”

“Will do,” you said, urging Sam out after him, gently pulling the door shut when you were in the hall. “And yes, sleepwalking. It’s incredibly common in formerly feral Alphas. Dean’s only about six weeks out from being feral so it’s expected. It normally stops around the three month mark.”

“Huh, never knew that,” said Sam, staring back at the door. “Sorry. I know I’m still a little nervous about him sometimes.”

“Hey. It’s understandable. Dean’s rehab wasn’t like everyone else’s,” you said, heading down the hall with him, Peter seeming to have grabbed your coat and boots for you. “So Christmas is in a few days. I wanted to make it extra special for him.”

“I mean we decorated the house and got him presents and everything in between. What were you thinking?” he asked. 

“He’s so nervous to go out in public. I know there’s still a lot of attention on him but I wanted to try and take him out. To walk through the light show at the park. Go ice skating at the little Christmas village there. Let him have fun without being afraid.”

“Y/N,” he said as we walked downstairs. “I thought you said it’s going to take him a long time to get to that point. How are you going to take him to the most crowded place in the city when he has to psych himself up to go visit Benny? In a private space?”

“I have an idea,” you said, biting your bottom lip. “But I need your help.”

Dean was grumpy the next day. He knew you were taking him out of the house that night which he didn’t have a problem with if it was to see Gil and Sophia at their place. But you weren’t telling him where you were headed just yet which meant your Alpha was in a mood. A mood you very clearly felt through your bond.

“Dean,” you said that evening, knocking on the doorframe of your room. He sat angrily on the couch by the fire, crossing his flannel covered arms and frowning. “Alpha. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go wherever the hell you’re taking me, that’s what’s wrong.” You sighed and knelt down in front of him, Dean reluctantly letting you take his hands in yours.

“I know you know I’d never hurt you. We both know you’re scared and I don’t blame you. The media still very much wants to know all about you. It’s invasive and scary when all you deserve is good things in life.”

“I’m not ready,” he said quietly. “Please not yet.”

“If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to,” you said, Dean’s body relaxing. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.

“I can try.” You titled your head, Dean smiling back when he opened his green eyes, a gentle nod given to you. “There’s a lot I didn’t think I could do when I met you and you keep proving me wrong. I want you to keep doing that.”

“This will be fun. I promise. We can also come back home if you decide you don’t like it.” He hummed, scent nervous but a tinge of excitement underneath it. “But we do need to get you in some warmer clothes first.”

“Warmer clothes?”

Dean looked handsome in his tan wool hat and the new navy winter jacket Sam had picked up for him earlier that day. His winter boots squeaked when he stepped out of the car, gloved hands immediately grasping yours when you got out beside him.

“That’s a lot of people,” said Dean, watching people wandering around the Christmas village, his gaze assessing the scene carefully and ignoring the pretty Christmas scene before him.

“Smell the air,” you gently urged, Dean’s nose twitching up for a moment, his brow furrowing.

“That’s…a lot of Alphas,” he said as you pointed at the luxury buses in the parking lot, not the usual cars that would be there. “What’s-”

“Oh you kids made it!” said Sophia as she jogged over, giving Dean an extra big hug. He melted into it, Sophia kissing his temple. “You smell so tense, sweetie. Go have fun with the others! I think I saw Gil and Sam with Benny over by the ice rink.”

“Benny’s here?” he asked when you looped your arm through his, walking with him towards the entrance.

“Of course! All of the stage three and beyond Alpha’s from the facility are. Y/N had the idea of a field trip for everyone and their families so they could celebrate the holidays without any outside pressure,” she said, an Alpha you recognized from the facility coming up.

“Dr. Insler! Avery is asking for you over at the light tunnel,” they said. She gave a quick goodbye, leaving you and Dean to wander slowly inside. Dean stopped you both once you were there, his gaze wandering out as people shuffled around from one activity to another.

“How the hell did you shut down one of the most popular Christmas spots in the city two days before the holiday?” You shrugged, Dean shaking his head. 

“Sam did most of it. I just had the thought,” you said, Dean looking around at the lights, the decorations, a silly smile spreading onto his cheeks. “You deserve a night of fun along with all these other Alphas.”

He leaned in and kissed you slowly, grinning through it and lighting up your insides. “Thank you for making me come out tonight, for making a whole lot of messed up people’s nights.”

“You guys aren’t messed up. You’re just in need of some care,” you said, Dean giving you a side hug, kissing the top of your head. “So. Since this is your first Christmas in a very long time, what would you like to do? Skate? Games? Do the light walk?”

“That hot chocolate looks pretty good,” he said with a smirk. “Ladies first.”

You woke up the next day with a sore butt from a hard fall on the ice rink. Dean hadn’t skated since he was a boy but he picked it up again instantly, teasing you for having two left feet and clutching him the whole time. You hadn’t cared though. 

Dean had smiled the whole night and that boy deserved a lifetime of that.

You were surprised when you made your way downstairs and found Peter and Dean putting on their winter coats, Peter twirling a pair of car keys in his hands.

“Morning,” you said, getting a kiss from Dean, Peter going outside to start the car. “Where are you boys off to? Visit Benny?”

“It’s Christmas Eve and I realized, I haven’t done any shopping,” he said. You pursed your lips. You and Sam had both made it clear to Dean that having him was the best gift you could ever ask for. He pressed a finger to your lips and chuckled. “I won’t be gone long, just going to pick up a few things and then I’ll be home to wrap them.”

“Dean you don’t have-” He shushed you, pressing his forehead against yours. “The stores will be so busy-”

“And I have Peter and a hat and sunglasses. This is my first Christmas in forever and I sure as shit am going to do it the right way and make sure my family has gifts from me.” You stared at him, wanting to argue but if this was what he truly wanted, you weren’t about to stop him.

“Do you want me to go with you?” you asked, his head already shaking. “Alright. Be safe and have fun.”

“I will,” he said, pecking a kiss on your cheek. He slipped out the door, Sam padding downstairs with a yawn in his pajamas. 

“Is he going out alone?” he asked. You hummed, Sam nodding once. “Good for him. I know he wanted to pick out your engagement ring himself.”

You felt flush, Sam chuckling. “I told him I don’t need one. We’re already mated.”

“Try telling him that. He adores you,” he said, heading down the hall for the kitchen. 

You smiled, ducking your head down and feeling a flurry of warmth in your core you knew Dean would be feeling.

“Yeah. I love him too.”

___________

[katelynnwrites]

All’s Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You) | Felicitas Rauch

warnings: a tiny bit of angst but it’s mostly fluff

word count: 2145

summary: your national teammates have a conversation about starting families and it prompts a conversation between you and feli

a/n: let me know what you think of this please? i got this idea from the born for this documentary and it’s been buzzing around my head for a while because i was kind of hesitant if i should write it…if it’s good i might write a bit more about feli and kids :)

You’re certain that this is the team that will go far in the Euros. Hell, the mood in camp is one so perfect that you are filled with the conviction that you might just win the whole damn thing. It is what every single member of your team is working towards.

The tournament might still be eight months away but things are just shaping up so well.

These people you’re with, they are more than just teammates. They’re good friends.

Good friends that you are happy to celebrate an early Christmas with.

The national team staff and some of your teammates have been kind enough to help set up a small Christmas get together, with food and drinks.

It might be the midst of international break and you might be only two metres away from the hotel entrance but it makes all the difference.

Everyone needs to get their minds off football and relax sometimes, especially when the last game of the year is just around the corner.

Curled into Feli’s side, you giggle at the story Sara is telling. You can feel Felicitas’ body vibrate with laughter and you press yourself closer to her.

Your wife easily slips her arm around your waist in response.

She drops an affectionate kiss onto the top of your head even as she continues listening to her fellow defender.

The smile on your face grows as the rest of your teammates pitch in, the alcohol helping everyone to loosen up.

Feli’s fingers gently running over your side and the pleasant buzz of the mulled wine distract you for a few minutes and when you focus back on the conversation, it’s to Kathy saying that it would be nice if men could get pregnant too.

A round of laughter rings out immediately and you grin at the very thought. It would certainly be helpful for some of your teammates, both national and club alike.

Lina jokes that she would get her boyfriend pregnant right away if she could and everyone chuckles a little harder.

When that dies down though, there is a moment of sobering silence.

‘You’d actually like to have kids though…right?’

Marina directs the question at anyone and everyone, her tone being an indicator of just how difficult this particular subject is. It’s unusual for the typically smiley woman to be so serious.

Both Kathy and Lina nod, Laura following after a moment.

A few of the youngest players like Jule and Obi simply shrug. That’s fair you think, because it’s not something that would be on the forefront of their mind at that age.

But for you, being a few years older, it has.

So you nod too and can’t help but slip your hand into your wife’s when she does the same, a tad shyly.

You’ve talked about it before you even started dating, wanting to be on the same page before starting a relationship that might turn out to be lasting.

You are incredibly happy that it did and are so thankful for having that conversation with Feli.

Being a mom has always been something you want and marrying someone who wants the same thing as you was always important.

It never occured to you while you were growing up that that person would come into your life, in the form of Felicitas Rauch.

Two months into calling her your girlfriend and you knew that she would be the only one you would ever want to start a family with.

It assures you the feeling must be mutual when the brunette squeezes your hand lightly, glancing at you adoringly.

‘I feel ready to start a family now but I guess with football, I will have to wait a couple more years.’ Kathy sighs.

You make a sympathetic noise and your fellow Wolfsburg player looks up.

‘I’m guessing that you can relate. I see how you are with the younger fans. Do you want a girl or a boy?’ She asks softly.

Shrugging, you murmur, ‘I don’t mind either. I just want them to be healthy, you know?’

Kathy gives you a tiny smile and nods her understanding.

Your heart warms just thinking about it and the hopeful smile you give the blonde in return makes you miss the one on Feli’s face dimming.

Felicitas keeps your hand in hers but doesn’t say much more for the rest of the night.

She does not meet the worried looks you give her and by the end of the little celebration, your anxiety is just about eating you whole.

You don’t remember the last time you’ve felt this uncertain with your wife.

As everyone makes their way back to their respective rooms, you trail after her to the room you’re sharing.

‘Liebling?’ You softly prompt and the brunette defender frowns as she shuts the door.

‘What’s wrong?’

Felicitas stiffens and she sits down on her bed, drawing her knees up to her chest.

Her brown eyes are full of emotion when she quietly asks, ‘You want a baby now?’

‘Well not now now but maybe after the Euros…’ You admit.

Your wife’s eyes widen and you reach for her hand hurriedly, saying, ‘Don’t you? We’ve been married for a few years and I think we’re in a good enough place in our careers.’

Feli shakes her head, stammering, ‘I-I love you but I’m not ready.’

As hard as you try to hide it, you can’t stop the hurt that flashes across your face from showing.

‘Liebling, I’m sorry.’ Feli pleads, squeezing your hand tightly and touching your wedding ring.

‘Don’t be. You aren’t at fault for the way you feel. I-I just thought you wanted to have children as badly as I do.’ You whisper, covering her hand with yours.

This, if possible, makes your wife feel even worse.

There are tears slipping down her face as she takes a deep breath, trying to explain herself.

‘I do. Believe me I do. That’s not what I’m not ready for. Liebling I want to have a baby with you, I’m ready to start a family with you. It’s been on my mind for a long time but what I’m not ready for is putting football on hold.’

‘Felicitas…’ You breathe.

‘I love you. I love you so incredibly much and I’ve dreamed of having a family with you but I can’t do it now. I’m twenty six and I know that’s not old but I’m terrified of not being able to get back my current form after I give birth.’

‘Feli I love you too but I don’t understand.’ You murmur.

Your wife makes a frustrated noise, ‘Don’t you see how hard Almuth is struggling? I know that I’m not as old as she was when she got pregnant but I don’t think I can go through it liebling.’

‘I know and I admire her for it but Feli…I’m not asking you to put yourself through that.’

The fullback simply stares at you with clear confusion.

There’s a smile on your face as you tease, ‘You know liebling, the good thing about being in a lesbian relationship is that both of us can get pregnant.’

‘What?’

‘I’m younger than you Feli. I’ll recover faster, and be able to get my fitness back faster.’

‘Y-You want to be the one to carry our baby?’

Your wife’s tone is one of complete disbelief.

‘Yes.’ You answer simply.

‘But why? You’re our star striker for club and country. You are at the top of your game liebling. Hell Barcelona wants you and while I know you turned them down, chances like that aren’t given to just anybody. As a player, you are far more valued than I am. For you to put your career on hold…’ Feli’s voice gets gradually quieter before it tails off.

The Wolfsburg defender swallows hard, her gaze never leaving yours.

It is barely audible when she mumbles, ‘If you get pregnant after the Euros, you might not be able to come back in time for the World Cup.’

‘Felicitas, my love, don’t you know that I will give up anything if it means being able to be a mother with you? Winning a world cup is a dream but being able to have a family with you is the biggest dream.’

If the brunette wasn’t crying before, she certainly is now.

Her hands are gentle as she cradles your face to kiss you. She tastes like the salt of her tears but the action still takes your breath away.

‘Do you really mean that?’ Feli whispers against your lips.

You nod, leaning your forehead against your wife’s.

She presses one more kiss onto your mouth, murmuring, ‘Let’s do it. I want to have a baby with you liebling. As soon as possible.’

‘Okay…okay that sounds like a plan.’ You tearfully agree.

******

You’re pregnant a month after Germany finishes runners up in the Euros.

******

Feli was right. You are far from being able to make it back in time for the World Cup but you never expected yourself to be anyway.

That doesn’t mean that you aren’t there to support your wife, fellow national teammates and country though.

You are in the friends and family section, with your newborn dressed in the tiniest Rauch, 17, jersey.

Where your wife found noise cancelling headphones small enough to fit on his head, you’ll never know but he looks adorable.

He peers curiously at his surroundings during the first half, never once crying but rather being content to be held by you.

Felicitas blows you and him a kiss each as she makes her way back down the tunnel at halftime.

Her bun is messy and it is getting colder as the sun sets but her eyes are shining with adoration.

She mimes catching the kiss you blow her in return and you giggle.

‘Your mama’s so silly.’ You tell your son as you rock him gently.

The newborn sucks determinedly on his fist in response and you giggle.

He has Feli’s eyes and you don’t know how you will ever be able to tell him no when he grows up. You certainly are not able to tell your wife no when she looks at you with her pretty eyes.

******

Your country puts two more into Morocco’s goal before Felicitas is subbed out in the 89th minute.

You cheer louder than anybody when she leaves the pitch because you are always going to be her biggest fan.

The brunette catches sight of you just before she sits down at the bench, her cheeks flushing a bright pink at the look of pride on your face.

You chuckle at that, pressing a light kiss onto your baby’s forehead. He’s fallen asleep, the cool Australian night air giving his cheeks a rosy hue, nearly identical to his mother’s.

The match is nearly over now and Lea fires one more into the opposition’s net to make it a six-nil win before the full time whistle blows.

There’s a tangible joy in the stadium, from the fans and your team.

Everyone is celebrating but you only have eyes for your wife.

She’s making directly for you, climbing over the barriers and pulling you into an excited kiss.

‘I love you.’ Feli declares.

‘Love you too.’ You grin.

The fullback kisses you once more, her hands cradling your face eagerly.

‘How’s our son?’ She asks, bending down to lightly press her lips onto his forehead. He remains fast asleep, not even stirring when you transfer him into the Wolfsburg player’s arms.

Your wife coos softly, adjusting the blanket you wrapped him in, to protect his tiny body from the cold.

Felicitas is entirely enamoured with him, just as she has been since she saw him on the initial ultrasound.

You always knew she would be down bad but when your son gripped Feli’s finger tight the moment she first held him, well she exceeded all your expectations.

The brunette holds him close, breathing in his baby smell before looking up hesitantly.

‘C-Can I take him down to the pitch? I know we talked about keeping him off social media but I want to share this moment with him.’

You don’t even have to think twice about your answer.

‘Felicitas of course you can. I might have carried him but he’s your son too.’

Your wife can’t resist kissing you once more before she leads you back down onto the pitch with her, despite your protests.

‘Liebling this is your special moment, your World Cup debut.’

‘Yes and I want to share it with my family.’ She matter of factly states.

There’s no arguing with her and so it is with a smile on your face that you let her slip her hand into yours.

Being there with Feli, as she holds the baby you had together against her chest…it’s everything you have ever dreamed of.

German Translation:

liebling - love

[thorntopieces]

assorted pjo/hoo headcanons pt 2

part 1 - part 2

A popular one, but Percy grew up speaking Spanish with Sally. Once Gabe came into the picture it became something shameful and something to be hidden. In the same vein as him never talking about Gabe, he never gives any indication that he knows any Spanish, not even when people speak it around him

Annabeth and Percy 'adopt' Will. Annabeth the winter session following TLT, Percy and Annabeth together following the Battle of Manhattan. They don't properly parent him or anything, but they check in on him and help him come to terms with being Head Counsellor. At first Will thinks they do it only because he saved Annabeth's life, but no, they really just care about him that much

Something I will elaborate on in a different post: both Jason and Nico have DID (dissociative identity disorder), presenting in very different ways. Nico's alters are all him at varying ages, except for one introject of Bianca and one of Percy (that never fully front, they work internally or influence passively). It could very easily be confused for just very severe mood changes and PTSD. He's not really aware of it and considers himself to just be moody. Jason has a more 'typical' presentation in that the different alters have different names, genders, ages, roles. He becomes aware of it around the time of the Battle of the West Front/Mt Tam, and again learns about it following TLH. It is the only way to cope, caused by both of them being exposed to continuous and repeated trauma at a young age. Nico is aware that Jason has a thing, while Percy knows something is up with Nico. They both just lack the terminology to explain it well. This is one of the reasons why Nico and Jason quickly get along at Camp Jupiter before the kidnapping and then again following the encounter with Cupid

After starting to recover from dissolving into darkness, Nico slowly starts going back to school. He's too busy, too ill and too behind to go full-time, so instead he goes two days a week for core subjects at Goode. To do this he spends two nights a week at Sally and Paul's place. It helps give him some of the normalcy he so desperately needs. The rest of the week he spends at CHB doing various things (teach classes, infirmary work, head counsellor duties, therapy). Will goes to a different school in NYC during the week but they make plans for him to transfer after Christmas break

Will doesn't like crying because it literally hurts him. Whenever he cries it's like his eyes are on fire so instead of trying to figure out why that is, he will do anything in his power to not cry at all

Healing and medicine are two separate traits for Apollo kids to inherit. Lee could heal, but Michael was the one with the field medic skills and thus the one to mostly train Will. When Lee died, the infirmary went to Will because divine healing is prioritised above mortal medicine. Will's not special because he can heal, he's special because he can heal and has an innate talent for medicine. Combine that with the photo- and nosokinesis and he's technically inherited four separate skills, whereas most Apollo kids would only get two (basic good aim/vitals reading/minor powers of prophecy does not count, those are universal). He really is all of Apollo's best and none of his worst

In the Last Olympian it's mentioned that Hades met Maria di Angelo in Washington D.C, but in House of Hades that Nico and Bianca grew up in Venice. Headcanon that Bianca was born in Washington D.C in 1930 but shortly after being born Maria di Angelo moved back to Venice in hopes of escaping the worst of the Great Depression. This didn't work (the Great Depression hit Italy in 1931 and peaked in 1932), but by the time it got bad it was harder than ever to leave fascist Italy, especially through official channels - which they would have to do considering Nico's nonno was an Italian diplomat and fleeing would put him in danger. Nico was born in Venice and in 1939, less than a year after visiting Diocletian's Palace they were cleared to reunite with his grandparents in the States, avoiding the outbreak of WWII.

The reason why the conversation with Venus horrified her so much wasn't because she was upset about not being destined to be with Jason, it was because she interpreted 'no demigod shall heal your broken heart' as having to date someone fitting the criteria (not a demigod, powerful because she has power) and the only person she can think of is Octavian. She absolutely thought Venus told her she was doomed to date Octavian

Percy who is the demigod most similar to Jason in terms of wolf traits developed because they had the same amount of 'established identity' when arriving at the wolf house (young age vs amnesia). Percy who learns to be entirely certain of initiating physical affection without fear after being at the wolf house because he learns that even dangerous beings can be gentle. Percy who is scared of initiating physical contact because he saw how Gabe was and how demigods used to react to him knowing he was a son of the Big Three

[mastermindmiko]

My name

Pairing: Sirius Black + fem!reader

word count: 4417

Summary: You're James sister, and you like Sirius. He constantly flirts with you, but at the end of the night, he ends up with another girl. How much can either of you take before your feelings are out?

Warnings: kissing, pranks, poor Emma

Requests are open

Hey! If you think this didn't completely suck, feel free to check out my masterlist.

an: I've obsessed with the Sirius + James' sister thing

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"That's part of the fun." He says while we listen closely to anything that might be ongoing outside. I hear no footsteps, and I sigh deeply. I lean against the wall of the cramped broom closet in relief.

"I told you we'd get caught." I say, frustrated that I let him talk me into doing this. He grins and says, "I never said that we wouldn't be caught, I said that it would be fun and it was."

"For you maybe, I was terrified." I huffed, and Sirius continued to grin. He leans closer to my face and teases, "That's because you're a goody two shoes."

"Excuse me for caring about my education and not wanting to get detention." I retort, pushing his face away with my finger. Why did he always have to flirt like this?

Two sharp knocks echo on the door, but neither of us replies, fearing that it was a teacher. Seconds later, we hear a voice say, "You two better not be snogging in there."

I open the door, sighing, "No, James. We were just hiding from Filch."

Remus and Peter are standing beside James while Remus wiggles his eyebrows at me, but I shoot him down with a stern look. Sirius wraps his arm around my waist, and I smack it away. He says, "Would it be such a bad thing, love?"

"Yes." James replies before I could giving his best friend a look that could send him six feet under. Sirius panics, he had seemingly forgot that we weren't alone, so he couldn't pester me.

"How was it?" I ask, hoping to diffuse the situation, James looked like he was about to pounce. James laughs, and his mood uplifts in a moment. He exclaims, "It was brilliant, you should've seen it. The whole place was red!"

The prank, they had transformed the Slytherin common room red, and while I don't particularly support pranks, I was hoping for a night of fun after the torture that was last weeks quizzes.

"And their faces!" Peter said, which reminded James of the prank once more, and he burst our laughing. They continued to chat in loud voices as if they didn't know that we're well passed curfew.

I feel a hand slither around my waist midway to the way to the Gryffindor common room, and I look at Sirius pointedly while he had a smug look on his face. I push his hand away and go step beside Remus instead.

When we're there, I quickly head to the dorms to get a well-deserved good night's sleep.

A normal person would assume that Sirius Black was head over heels in love with me, but that couldn't be farther away from the truth for a multitude of reasons. He valued his friendship with James far too much than to mess it up by being with his sister. I wasn't his type, Sirius likes girls who are nothing like me.

The most important reason was that Sirius doesn't do relationships. He likes flirting, he likes the chase, he likes the sex, the relationship aspect of all that, not so much. He jumped from one girl to the next, typically in the span of the week, and I'd be damned if I was one of those girls.

***

"Go with me." Sirius suggests as soon as he plops down beside me for breakfast. I pause in the middle of lifting a spoon up to my mouth. I frown, "What?"

"The party, the Christmas party." He says, like it's obvious. Slughorns party for the members of the slugclub. I wasn't particularly brilliant when it came to potions, so I wasn't a part of the club, Sirius, however, was.

I don't reply straight away. It was odd. He always flirted, but he never asked me to with him anywhere, never actually asked me out on a date. I hesitantly ask, "As a date?"

James sits down in between both of us and asks intrusively, "Date? What date?"

"Not a date, date, but technically, she's the person I want to take to the Christmas party." Sirius stutters, and James purses his lips. James says, "No."

"James, you're not the boss of me. I make my own decisions." I say, sternly, but James rolls his eyes. Sirius perks up from behind him, and I turn him down, "That doesn't mean that I'll go with you."

He deflates while James perks up. They both start eating food together. They grab the same things at the same time and eat at exactly the same pace. It's freaky how in sync they are. They're the greatest best friends I've ever seen, doesn't Sirius know how this fake flirting thing could jeopardise it?

***

I stare back at my reflection at my mirror. I tilt my head to the side as I analyse which pair of heels would look best with my dress. Lily chimes in, "Black."

"Are you crazy? Red 100%" Alice and Lily bicker, and I chuckle, "You guys aren't making this decision any easier, really."

"You should come." I say, looking at them. They both opted to stay in the dorm studying rather than attending the party which both of them were invited to. Lily shakes her head, "It's too late now. We don't have dates."

"You could go with each other who cares about having dates, and besides, my brother would drop everything to be your date." I try to convince her, sick of hearing my brother talk about her for an entire summer again.

"I thought we agreed that your brother is an off-limits subject." Lily humms, and I lift my hands up in surrender. I look back at the mirror, then hold up the black heels. I say, "we have a winner."

Alice huffs, and I laugh at her reaction while Lily claps victoriously. I bid them goodbye and walked down the stairs to the common room where my brother and his friends were waiting for me.

"You look beautiful." Remus says as soon as he sees me, opting James and Sirius to turn to look at me. James smiles, "I don't know what you're talking about moony. That's the ugliest rat I've ever seen."

I poke my tongue out at him, annoyed, and Remus holds out his arm for me to take. He says, "Thanks again for agreeing to come with me."

"You don't need to thank me, Remus. We're friends." I reply with a smile. Remus wanted to attend the party, but didn't want to go through the hassle of finding a date, so he asked me.

"I know, I'm just sure that I wasn't your first choice when it comes to dates. You might've wanted to go with someone else." Remus says, and I finally look at the boy who was my first choice.

He had his hair looking perfect as always, and he had on an elegant that fitted him perfectly in every way, and he an odd look on his face than prompted me to say, "Are you okay, Sirius?"

He doesn't reply, but he gulps loudly. His eyes trail down my body slowly, and it makes me feel self-conscious. He snaps his eyes back to mine and he says, "Wow...you look stunning."

I blush a deep shade of red, and I look away from him. This was different from how he usually flirts. It felt like there were actually some emotions behind those words.

"Hey! Mate, stop drooling all over my sister, and let's go." James says, snapping his fingers in front of Sirius' face. Sirius replies, "But she's not here yet."

"Who?" Peter asks

"My date." Sirius says, and he rubs his face with both his hands. He mumbles, "I just can't remember her name..."

Just like that, all the positive feelings were gone because all I could think of was me someday bring that girl whose name he couldn't remember. I snap, "You shouldn't invite a girl out on a date if you can't remember her name."

"I-"

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you." A girl says as she walks down the dorm stairs and goes to Sirius. She goes to hug Sirius, pressing a kiss on her cheek, and when she can't see his face, he sends a panicked look to Remus.

Remus rolls his eyes, but when the girl backs away from the hug, he puts his hand in front of him and says, "Hello, I'm Remus."

"I'm Emma." She replies, shaking his hand with a smile. I offer my name and so do the rest of us. Sirius' shoulders drop from relief and he says, "Well, now that Emma's here, we should really get going."

I roll my eyes, and James snorts from beside Sirius. We start walking towards the party, and I mumble under my breath, "When is he going to grow up?"

"When are you going to admit your blatant feelings for him?" Remus whispers right next to my ear, and I flush. I snap my head towards him and snap, "Could you blame me for not wanting to? He couldn't remember the name of the girl he was taking on a date!"

Remus shrugs his shoulders and I know that he's convinced. I see the door to the party and feel Remus say something to me, "But the girl he's taking isn't the girl he likes."

"Bold of you to assume that he has the ability to have feelings for someone." I say, and as much as it hurts me to process the fact, I know that it's true. Remus counters, "Well, no someone has ever been you."

"I know that Sirius is your friend and everything, but you really need to screw your head on better." I snort, and give a fake smile that surely looks just like it is. The room is filled with music, and people are dancing all over the dance floor. I can hear Professor Slughorn's loud voice all the way from here.

Sirius already whisks Emma away to dance and her giggling echoes through the room. I realize that maybe coming to the party wasn't one of my best decisions. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and James says, "You okay?"

"I'm fine." I reply and James says, "It's really no use of lying to your brother."

"Come on, I know what'll cheer you up." James says, and he grabs my hand and drags me to a table, and I drag Remus along with me. James sits down and he pulls out a deck of Muggle cards and starts shuffling them. James smirks, "So, what are we betting on?"

Remus gives James a disapproving look, but sits down. I pick the seat that makes me unable to see Sirius. We start playing and mid-way through our third game, I pause and say, "Isn't this sort of...weird? We're at a party and we're playing cards."

"We're at a party a teacher hosted, we're not exactly the coolest right now either." James retorts and hands Remus all of his 3s, and Remus grins. James laughs and he looks at something behind me. He says, "Looks like our Padfoot has already scored."

I don't bother looking behind me, I already know what's happening. It's been happening every year since 3rd year. I sigh, and press my lips tightly together. Remus places a sympathetic hand on my thigh and I give him an appreciative smile.

"I think I'm gonna go..." I stand up and start to put my things back into my purse, leaving my cards on the table. I run a hand through my hair and say, "I forgot that I've got a Muggle studies quiz tomorrow."

"But we don't have-" James begins, but I've already turn and made my way to the door. The door slams unintentionally behind me, but I know that it doesn't matter, the noise of the chatter and music drowning it out.

I can't believe that I let this happen, and I can believe that I'm hurt and surprised every time it does happen. I feel straw tear fall from my eye, and I wipe it away. It doesn't help that I hear him jogging after me, and saying, "Hey! You left-"

He stands in front of me and places both his hands on my shoulders. He stops me from walking, and I barely have time to put my hand down before he notices my red eyes. He pauses before whispering, "Were you crying?"

"No, allergies." I say, before stepping away from him and trying to keep on going back to the dorms. He stops me again, and he says, "You can tell me."

"No, go back to the party, you're date's waiting." I snap, and try to walk away, but I get forced back into place. I try to move away with more force, but it shots me back harder. I almost fall, if it wasn't for Sirius who stabilized me.

I begrudgingly looked up, and dreaded what I found. A mistletoe, hanging from the archway that we were both under. I rub my hand frustrated over my face, and say, "I'll remember the spell that I'll get us out of this, wait..."

I huff as the spell completely escapes my mind. I try to think harder to one of the charms books I read with Remus a few years ago. Sirius squeezes my waist, and I didn't even realize that he had his hand there. He says, "We can just-"

"No! I'll remember." I say, sternly and push his hand off my waist. He waits patiently and I get more and more frustrated at my weak memory. I snap my fingers as I try to remember, "I read it at the table near the window, in the library...with Remus, in fourth year..."

"Fourth year! You can't remember that." Sirius says, incredulously. I have to admit, it was ridiculous that I believed that I'd be able to remember a spell I once read, three years ago, but I couldn't kiss Sirius. I huff, "I will."

"We'd sooner die, than you'd remember that spell."

"Just wait." I say, as my eyes scan everything around me, trying to remember that stupid spell. Sirius places his hand on my chin, and makes me look into his eyes, the most beautiful mix of grey and blue that I've ever seen. He whispers, "Is kissing me really that bad an option?"

No, it's not, it really isn't, but I can just imagine how it would go. I'd kiss him, I'd get all those fluttery feelings in my stomach, and I wouldn't be able to stop kissing him because finally it's happening. Sirius would keep kissing me until neither of us could anymore. I'd fall in love all over again.

Then, the next morning, he'd act like nothing happened. I'd go to breakfast and find him sitting next to some girl that he's going to be giving all his attention to for the next week with his arm around her shoulder. I would die inside and be miserable until he'd break up with this girl, and I would believe that it's finally my turn, but then he'd find another girl instead.

I'd be even more miserable until I got over him which is unlikely or when he realized that I should be his girlfriend not a fling a girlfriend, which is even more unlikely, and so yes, my answer is yes. I say just that, "Yes, it would, now stop pestering me, so I can think."

"Love, you're never going to remember it."

"Yes, I will." I snap back at him, and he seals his mouth shut. At last, a moment of peace. I try to think, but it wasn't coming to me at all. I tried to think of alternative spells, and I was grateful that Sirius decided to stay calm.

At least I thought so, until he places his fingers on my chin once more, and quickly tries to kiss me. Panicked, I yell, "Bombarda!"

I point my want to the ceiling and the archway, comes crashing down along with the mistletoe, the spell breaks and we escape before the archway falls over us. In hindsight, this wasn't one of my brightest ideas.

"Are you crazy?" Sirius shouts, and he's right, but no way I'm going to tell him that. I look away from the pile of rubble, and brush off the dirt from my dress, and say, "I got us out, didn't I?"

"You almost squished us." Sirius complains and I roll my eyes. He continues, "And you destroyed a piece of the castle."

"As if Dumbledore can't rebuild it, besides, you've done more damage to the school." I say, and Sirius runs a hand through his perfect hair, making it the slightest bit messy. He says, "That's not the point. You were willing to almost kill us both than have me kiss you. Do I have bad breath or something?"

"Did you forget that you were going to kiss someone other than your date tonight?" I say, trying to remain calm, while Sirius keeps on getting more heated up. Sirius replies, "It's not like I'm cheating or something, she's just a date!"

Exactly my point, she's just a date, he couldn't even remember her name, but he still kissed her, and who knows what they'll be doing tonight. I add, "Did you forget that you're going to be kissing your best friend's sister?"

"It's just because of the mistletoe- James would've killed me, I know, but you're not just his sister, you're more than that." Sirius says, and he looks down at the ground, and I feel my heart rate pick up, despite not wanting it to. He adds, "You're my friend too."

The feeling's gone. I scoff, and leave.

***

The next day was more chaotic than last night. I'm sitting at breakfast, trying to convince James that I'm alright because of the way I abruptly left the party last night, while also trying to apologize to Remus for also leaving him abruptly last night.

"I promise you it's fine." Remus

"Unlike you, last night." James

"I swear to Merlin, James. If you don't shut up, I will murder you, and Remus, are you sure there isn't any way I can't make it up to you." I say, turning to Remus, voice switching from stern to soft. Remus slips up, "I'm sure you've suffered enough for your mistakes."

"Suffered? What does he mean?" James interrupts, and I pause. I knew what Remus meant, I heard it, he heard it, the entirety of Gryffindor tower heard it, it being Sirius and Emma having fun this morning in some sort of hidden part of the tower.

Echoes of laughter are heard through the Great Hall, and we all turn to see, Sirius walking in with neon yellow hair. James bursts out laughing, and Peter joins him. I try to hide my snickers behind my hand, while Remus smiles. Sirius huffs and sits next to James, opposite to me.

"What happened, mate?" James asks, trying to contain his laughter. The great hall soon quiets down, and everyone goes back to their own lives. Sirius doesn't say anything as he begrudgingly stuffs his mouth with bread.

No one says, anything but James and Remus try to figure out spells to return Sirius' hair color back to normal. James says, "I'll just use a counter-jinx-"

"That wouldn't work because we need to know the jinx that caused it." Remus explains, and he turns to ask Sirius, "Did you hear the jinx?"

Sirius shakes his head, and I notice him avoiding looking at me. James suggests, "If you tell us who did this, we'll just force it out of them."

Sirius shakes his head again, and we notice Emma walking in shooting glares at Sirius. Remus whispers, "Did something happen with Emma?"

Sirius grumbles something under his breath, and proceeds to stuff his mouth full of food again. James exclaims, "What happened?"

"I-uh..." Sirius trials off, and James chuckles. He slaps Sirius' back and jokes, "What? Did you forget her name again?"

The boys laugh at the idea, but they stop when the notice that Sirius isn't laughing with them and instead turn bright pink. Peter gasps, "You didn't."

"I didn't." Sirius defends quickly, but then sinks back in his chair. He purses his lips, and Remus inquires, "What did you do?"

An angry Hufflepuff comes marching behind Sirius, and tugs on his hair. He yelps and turns around to look at the red-faced girl. She shouts at him, "If you're going to try to sleep with my best friend, then have the decency to say her name."

She shoots me a glare, and then walks away back to the Hufflepuff table where Emma has a sorrow look on her face. Sirius sinks further back into his chair, and Remus exclaims, "You called her the wrong name!"

"It was an accident okay?" Sirius defends himself, and I find myself confused why the girl would glare at me instead of Sirius, unless...no way! No way! He wouldn't...would he? Sirius avoiding looking at me, her glaring at me, it all adds up! I flush a deep shade of red at the thought.

"Who's name did you say?" James asks, and Sirius starts to stutter. He grabs a piece of bread and shoves it in his mouth, and motions to it, as if to say that he can't reply at the moment. He chews very slowly, and the bell rings, signifying that there's only five minutes left till class.

Remus stands up and hauls Peter and James with him. Sirius begrudgingly stands up, trying to ignore the pack of Hufflepuff girls shooting him glares. The great hall's nearly empty by the time, I grab Sirius' hand to stop him from leaving.

The action catches my brother's eye, and I say, "We'll meet you there."

James looks at us both skeptically, but Remus grabs him by the collar, and pulls him towards class, along with Peter. Remus has had years of experience and knows that this is the only way to get the boys to class. James shouts behind his back to us, "If you're late, I'll come find you."

"Ow, ow, ow, Moony." James exclaims, as Remus grabs his ear and tries to stop him from staying behind with us. Once they're an appropriate distance away, Sirius asks, "What is it?"

"First...let me." I say, before bringing out my want from my belt loop and waving it over his hair, turning it back to the perfect jet black color that it was. He grins, pulling some of the strands over his eyes, to see the familiar shade of black. He says, "Thank you-"

"Why did you do that?" I interrupt him, exasperated. Sirius turns red, taken aback, and he avoids looking at me again. He stutters, "What are you talking about?"

By now my assumptions have been confirmed, and I feel my heart rate pick up as I say, "You said my name, why did you say my name?"

"I thought, I've been obvious, I like you." Sirius says, seeing no use in denying it, and running a hand through his hair. I bite the insides of my cheek and sigh, "No, you don't."

"I do, a lot." Sirius says, and he takes a step closer to me, the same step that I take back, pushing me to the wall. I say, "You just want me because you can't have me, but once you do, you'll lose interest."

He shakes his head, and he purses his lips before saying, "It's not like that-"

"If you really like me, why were you with those girls?" I ask, and I'm afraid of the answer. I fiddle with my fingers anxiously, and he says, "Trying to get over you."

He takes my hand in his, and I sigh. For so long, this is what I've wanted, he's the one that I like. I look into his eyes for any signs of anything other than sincerity, but there weren't any.

He leans to try to kiss me, but I stop him with a finger on his lips. I take in a shaky breath and say, "If you do this...If you kiss me, I want you to mean it. I want you to kiss me because you like me, not because you're bored or because you want to sleep with me. I can't be just another notch on your belt, I-I'm in this if you are, but if you're not then stop now..."

I trail off, and look back into his eyes, to find him looking at me with an expression I can't place. Butterflies shoot up and down my stomach. I expect him to leave, to turn around and head to class, but he doesn't.

He presses his lips to mine, and I let out a soft gasp. He holds me tightly to his chest, and he grasps at my waist. He kisses me once, twice and a couple more times. He doesn't stop until, he can't breathe anymore. He rests his forehead to mine and I pant, "You kissed me."

"I did" Sirius replies, and he smiles. I can't help, but grin myself. He holds me tighter, and I find myself smiling even wider. I say, "James is gonna kill you."

"I know." He shudders and I see the panicked look behind those grey eyes. I worry that it's going to stop him from being with me. Maybe he didn't even mean to kiss me, maybe he tripped. I ask, "And that doesn't deter you at all?"

"It does" He replies, and I feel myself getting anxious. Sirius values his friendship with James above anything else, they were brothers. I know that he'd be terrified to put it in jeopardy. I add, "Does it scare you?"

"Yes" He says, and I purse my lips before tentatively asking, "Then why aren't you backing away?"

"Because I can't really think about James murdering me when I really want to kiss you." He says, and I smile, maybe he didn't trip. I ask, "Again?"

"Multiple times, yes" He teases, and I smile. It's me who leans forward this time to capture his lips onto mine. He's grinning against my lips, making a proper kiss impossible to achieve. He pushes me against the wall, and keeps kissing me till all the oxygen is out of my lungs.

"GET OFF OF MY SISTER, BLACK!"

[hanaeriin]

MELTiNG SNOW, UNCONDiTiONAL LOVE. kageyama tobio x fem!reader ノ winter holidays , fluff , sfw , established relationship , potential ooc. ノ WC. 1.2k

SYNOPSIS. the coldest season had arrived and the whole nation is on good spirits. On this rare occasion, a simple love story is told under the light snowfall; the heartwarming tale of you and your beloved spending the day away.

NOTE. my submission for @pixelcafe-network 's secret santa event !! a fluffy gift for my dearest little elf, @shouyuus da da dan, hii rain, I'm your secret santa !! surprise? I hope you are because the gift that I've prepared for you is finally here !! it's my first time writing for hq and I'm hoping I get his characteristics right cuz it's been so long since I last watched the anime...>~< also special thanks to my sis for proofreading!!

It was late in the evening in mid-December, one of those unusual days when your boyfriend had the day off. To maximize that precious time, you typically utilize it either by going on dates or relaxing at home based on your mood. At present, you were shopping for groceries when you noticed that it was snowing outside. 

“Oh, it's snowing!! The weather prediction was accurate this time!!” You shouted, nearly glowing with happiness at the sight of the winter paradise ahead of you, watching your breath create small clouds in front of you as you talked. The snowflakes danced down from the sky, forming a winter display of small butterflies that appeared truly enchanting. Your ears perked at the gentle crunch of the snow beneath your feet, while the biting cold caresses your cheeks, making them flush. 

“It's becoming chillier out here; are you okay with only that?” Your boyfriend, Tobio was strolling beside you, carrying plastic bags in one hand as you twirled around, arms wide open in an ecstatic stance, with snowflakes swirling around you. From the perspective of an outsider, it appears as if you were dancing with the snow, yet to him, your features in the cold could easily make you seem like a fairy. 

‘She looks great in white,’ he thought, gazing at you with eyes full of love, and then his face flushed pink as the realization hit him. What was going through his mind just now?!? In the meantime, you, oblivious to his flustered condition, eagerly moved forward to explore the shops, calling out, “Tobio! Check this out! It's a cupcake shop with a Christmas theme!” Your eyes shine like a child's eyes brighten when they encounter something extraordinary. 

You exclaimed, indicating another shop before darting away once more, “Whoa! Oh, oh, check that out over there! Isn't the window display in that store incredibly adorable? Oh my gosh, they even have polar bear ones?!” 

“Could you slow down a little...?” Tobio was following closely, ensuring he wouldn't lose you in the throngs of people. “If you don't pay attention to where you're headed... you'll find yourself face down on the ground.”

“I'll be fine! I'm not a child or anything—waah?!” After stubbing your toe on the bumpy platform, Tobio grabbed you before you could fall onto the floor. “Haaaaah, I’m fine!” You got up, completely unharmed as if you hadn't just been plummeting to your demise moments earlier... 

He exhaled deeply, shaking his head as you grinned, scratching the back of your head. “But Tobio, come and check this out—ACHOO!” You emit a loud sneeze, your nose reddening slightly as you cover it with your right hand. He exhaled deeply, setting the bags onto the snowy platform, gradually peeling off his scarf. “You gonna get catch a cold”

“B-But! You're going to catch a cold as well.” You looked at him with worried eyes. 

“It’s okay,” he mutters, his face tinged pink from the chill while you remained frozen in shock as he began to drape the lengthy scarf around your neck, when he finished, he took your free hand before lifting the bags from the icy platform. “Let’s head home.” 

You found it hard to look away from him, slowly blinking as a soft blush crept over your cheeks. “Y-Yeah...”

.

.

.

“We're home!” You call out into the vacant corridors, causing a faint echo to ripple across the apartment. It was completely dark when the two of you got back to your home, removing your shoes before heading to the living room to turn on the lights, but something drew your attention and you shouted as if recalling something crucial, “Oh wait, Tobio!! Come over here for a moment!”

“What is that?” You could hear his gentle footsteps nearing the living room, and before long, you could see his head peeking through the doorway. 

“Oh...you have one of those warm tables with a cover, a kotatsu?” He gazed at it with shining eyes, appearing as if he was about to plunge in and snuggle up inside; it made you smile softly. “Sure, I figured you would enjoy it since you mentioned staying home for a few days, so I went ahead and bought it at the mall.”

“Wasn't it.... overly priced for you to purchase them?” 

“Oh, it's okay... your needs matter more than my wallet, anyway.”

“What was that about?”

“N-Nothing at all...”

Feeling flustered, you attempt to shift the conversation to conceal your embarrassment, “Let's give the kotatsu a try!” You're still chilly from being outdoors for such a long time. You were so thrilled that you quickly sat down under the kotatsu. “Ah, it feels so cozy~” 

Tobio couldn't resist chuckling a bit as he watched you sink onto the heating table, settling down himself beneath the cozy blanket. “Would you like a mikan orange?” You take an orange from the little basket in front of you and gradually start peeling it. 

“Sure, I'll have one”

“I feel like taking a nap first...I'm feeling all snug and comfortable from this warm kotatsu...”

“Did you forget why we're doing today?”

“But it's so nice here, and I don't want to move yet...” You sulked, using your most sorrowful puppy dog eyes to appear as pitiful as you could. 

“Alright...” At that moment, he appears extremely forlorn, resembling a kicked puppy due to his downcast eyes as he gazes at the table before him, intermittently darting glances between you and the kitchen with a look of hope, nearly pleading for your attention. For a large man, his face really affects your poor heart. So unfair. You rose abruptly and moved toward the tall man with an expressionless face. 

“W-What is it?” Tobio glanced at you, puzzled by your abrupt shift in emotions, and you quickly kissed him on the lips, surprising him. “You know it's unfair of you to use that face against me”

“Whuh-?”

“Alright, let's head to the kitchen now! Time doesn't pause for anyone!!!”

He could only observe as you quickly dashed to the kitchen, loud sounds echoed from the spot where he was seated. 

“She's like a storm...” He couldn't resist smiling gently as he approached you while you scurried around gathering ingredients for a feast. The sound of bare feet echoed on the kitchen floor, darting around quickly as you began to open numerous...and numerous cabinets, trying to grab something concealed within it.

...hence the start of a journey filled with challenges and mistakes, concluding the day with laughter and happiness. The moments shared with cherished individuals embody the real essence of a winter miracle... 

© HANAERIIN. please do no repost, translate, copy or use any of my works on any platform/train ai.