#farleigh start saltburn angst

[firemenenthusiast]

—“to love”

farleigh start x reader

summary: asking farleigh to let you go if loving you isn’t worth it

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, swearing, fluff

a/n: i couldn’t decide between angst and fluff and i haven’t posted fluff for a while so yall getting BOTH. also sorry if this is kinda boring and cheesy and dramatic (me fr) 😞✌🏻

the sound of water drops drumming against the window fills your ear, tapping away at each droplets of the pouring rain, taking you away from the realisation that it’s been raining since the sun slipped off the horizon. it must be cold outside, you imagine, with the loud heavy rain and thunders.

must be the complete contrast of how warm it is inside, especially the room you and farleigh share in this mansion given that you always kept the temperature toasty. farleigh always fussed about it too, saying that it’s too warm for him and insisted that if you’re gonna keep it that way, he’s gonna have to be shirtless in the room. wiping away another stray tear rolling down your right cheek, your lips curl in a quiver as you shut your eyes.

it’s almost hysterical how even in a space that warm and cozy, having yourself all wrapped up in his blanket and sitting by the window, you still feel all alone. you don’t get it. you have all these people around you, well, all the people downstairs partying away because it’s felix’s early Christmas party yet you still feeling left behind.

farleigh’s downstairs too, you believe he’s doing all the things he usually does when he’s in the party mood. maybe by now he’s already had too much to drink for, or he’s plopped down against the couch and counting the stars dancing around at the ceiling.

normally you would be snuggling by his side, holding his firm arm close to your body so some of his warmth could radiate against your skin, but it’s been months since you and farleigh had that kind of time together. now, it’s just routine quick kisses on the top of your head, before he’s out again to catch a smoke by the courtyard and disappearing all day long, even with you in the house.

feeling all the pent up confusion, mellow and slight anger settling down, you can’t help the small hiccups escaping your lips as your shoulders jerk at every sob. you can hear the muffled music from downstairs, and sounds of people cheering for whatever reason you could easily guess at. they’re typical, you would say, but what’s not typical is the distance you feel with farleigh, and how his behaviour as of late makes you feel worthless, and that the spark you felt when you first started dating has gone into a mere strike.

you know you should’ve just told him how you’re feeling. you know you could’ve just said that you hate the way he doesn’t kiss you anymore. you miss the feeling of his lips against yours, his soft ones cradling your lips that is enough to make you melt into the moment because farleigh is such a good kisser. you know how they say to communicate, but you wish it was that fucking easy.

because you hate having to beg for affection. you hate having to tell someone to love you, you hate having to teach someone that you desperately love to no end, how to love you properly. if you were really worth it, you wouldn’t have to do all that, would you ? if farleigh really loved you like you love him, he wouldn’t make you feel like this, all disregarded and unimportant. truth is, you almost made yourself believe that the relationship is a dead end, and that he’s gonna break the news to you anytime now. what’s the point anyways ? it’s not like he cares, does he ? he certainly didn’t when he left you feeling the worst after getting back your test marks and it was so awful that you cried. all he said was, and you quote, “just a test” before leaving you to go tanning with felix when he knew you studied all night long for weeks. he knew, because he was there, watching you flip through your notes desperately.

as you sit looking out through the window, your eyes trailing the fragile looking droplets of rainfall down the pane, drinking in your sobs that were frantic a few moments ago. you’ve spent the past couple of months just smiling away and comforting yourself that maybe he was just tired, and that he wasn’t feeling like wrapping his arms around you when you needed him the most. yet deep down, you know that it wasn’t supposed to be like that. he shouldn’t get to pick and choose just whenever the fuck he feels like having a relationship.

at this point you’ve made yourself believe that farleigh only keeps you around for the sake of having a girlfriend. you don’t think he wants to be a boyfriend alongside of that, nor he cares that he’s made you feel worthless with the fact that he hasn’t kissed you on the lips for weeks now. not sure if he even realises that, having made himself busy with all the cigarette breaks and hanging out with the group. sometimes you think that he goes on all that cigarette breaks just to get away from you. it’s funny because it’s not like you couldn’t stand the smoke, if anything you don’t care if he does it around you at all, as long as you get to be with him.

leaning deeper into the farleigh-scented blanket, the fuzzy material hugs you nicely making you feel a little comforted. you could hear the knob turning before the creaking of the old hinge of the door screeches your ear. quickly wiping the tears almost dripping off your chin, you suck in a shaky breath, bumpy from the sobs and the huge lump in your throat.

“hey babe, i didn’t see you downstairs. how long have you been here ?”

of course he didn’t even realise that you were never downstairs. eventually you get sick of the annoying music and lingering smell of alcohol on everyone. you hated how reckless everyone would be, just bumping against each other that sometimes someone gets pushed to the ground. you know because last time it had happened to you, and farleigh was nowhere to be found. he was probably doing a line at the corner of the room with his other friends but hey, at least he’s not cheating right ?

blinking away your tears, you could feel your eyes are already puffy from how much you were crying. the sniffles caught his attention, halting his movements on taking off his santa hat as he settles it down on the nightstand before carefully walking towards you.

“hey�� hey, what’s wrong ?”

the huge flat of his palm finds its way against your back, slowly caressing the skin through your sweatshirt as he struggles to meet your eyes.

“baby,, c’mon—look at me, hey”

his deep voice soft, but nothing’s new as farleigh had never raised his voice at you, or yelled at you. he was always so sweet when talking to you, so when he started becoming so distant, of course you’d feel it.

slowly pulling your body into his embrace, his arms wrapping around your shoulder as you lean your head against his chest. the warmth radiating off his skin spreads across your body as the both of you just sit there, sheltering against each other’s body, seeking comfort and reassurance.

“what’s wrong ?” he’d ask for the second time, holding your jaw in his hands with his fingers cupped along your cheeks. his thumb caresses the soft skin of your tear stained cheeks before looking deep into your eyes, his beautiful brown hues piercing into your orbs.

you’re still silent, knowing that if you were to tell him all the doubts in your heart that you have of him, you’d just burst into tears again. instead, you just give him your biggest smile, praying that it doesn’t look so forced and that you’re about to cry again in his arms.

farleigh can’t help his own smile at seeing your cute face squished into his large hands, though it pains him seeing you like this. it physically pains him looking at you so broken, the puffiness of your eyes tells him that you’ve been crying a lot, yet he knows nothing of it, or the reason why. when he asks you again, coaxing an answer from you, you’d just shake your head.

“you know you can tell me anything, you’re my girlfriend” he coaxes, smoothing his palms down your hair, cradling your whole head in his hands

hearing the title he just called you jerks a new stream of tears down your cheeks almost immediately, as you shut your eyes and softly sob into his hands. seeing your reaction worries him, making him desperately pull you closer into his arms, trying to shield you from anything that may be fear in your eyes, and just protect you from being hurt, ever.

“just say it, farleigh” you manage to sob out, quirking his eyebrows into visible confusion.

“say ? say what ?” pulling away slightly to look at your face, your eyes busy counting the stray threads poking out the blanket

“— that you don’t love me anymore” letting out the words softly, you realise that you sounded so insecure and it’s just going to make him mad. but you know what you’ve been feeling, and it’s not you being insecure.

farleigh couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth as they leave him speechless. slowly pulling his arms away from you, he looks at you to try to find an explanation.

“what the fu— what are you talking about ?” it was ridiculous, what you just said. he hopes that there’s a better explanation for it seeing that your lips are quivering and you’re looking at him with knitted brows.

“all the cigarette breaks, leaving me in the middle of the night to go sleep on the couch, hanging out with felix all the time when im literally right in front of you, do you think im stupid—?“

“what— he’s my cousin !” he retaliates, thick eyebrows furrowed at your reasoning, thinking that it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

“and im your girlfriend, farleigh. i don’t even wanna talk about how i was never downstairs tonight and you didn’t care enough to even realise !”

“you’re being absurd, there was a shitload of people” he’s leaning back against his heels, moving further from you as he looks at you in disbelief.

“i guess you don’t even care that we haven’t kissed in weeks”

your last words leaves him dumbfounded, having realised that he hasn’t felt the soft lips he’s so obsessed with on his for weeks now. it started for a couple of days when he was busy and overall just dealing with his own mental issues but only now had he realised that it’s been weeks. taking a few steps back, he’s now fully on his feet, with his arms crossed before moving a hand to rest on his jaw.

“you don’t have to love me if you don’t want to, farleigh” you mutter out softly, the volume only enough to register in his ears

you hear him scoff at the words as you turn to look at him, pacing around at the edge of the bed before snapping his head towards you

“i can’t believe this” you hear him mutter under his breath before tilting his head towards you

“you know, i try— sooo fucking hard to love you-“ he cocks his head to the side, eyes squinting in your direction. if you want to argue on the love in this relationship, he’s been meaning to fight back.

“i care so deeply about you, i pushed away my own issues, i struggle with my own being, those voices in my head—“ you’re looking at him, your whole body tense as you blink away the tears clinging onto your lashes

“all just so i can be with you, all so i can keep you safe with me, even if it means that im fucked up in the head—“

“farleigh—“

“i don’t know how do you want me to love you, because the only love i’ve ever felt was from my mom. even that they take away from me—“

“so i try, so fucking hard to love you, as best as i could. so for you to imply that it’s not enough—“ he scoffs once again, a pained laugh threatens to blow out of his mouth. looking up at him, his face contorts in what you could make out to be disappointment. or even disgust, with the way his lips bend into a frown. scanning your eyes across his sharp features, you wished you could take it all back so you wouldn’t have to see him looking at you like that. it isn’t hatred, or is it ? but you’d imagine how you’re pushing him through his limits.

“— that’s just fucking selfish. i don’t know what else do you want from me”

just as you’re about to open your mouth to say something, a loud thunder booms through the clouds, tearing the peace from the whole estate. the eardrums shattering sound horrifies the fear you have of thunder that you can’t help the scream piercing out of your mouth. you’re clutching tight at the material of the blanket, your head throbbing from the loud noise of the following rumbles from outside, the flashing of lightning accompanying the thunder that almost rips your heart of your chest, if it wasn’t already being ripped out by your cries.

immediately as he sees the flashing light before the thunder, like a natural reflex farleigh practically throws himself over to quickly wrap his arms around you and pull you into him. he knows how bad thunder fucks with your nerves and how much you hated being alone when there’s thunders outside. rubbing his hand against your arms, smoothing over your sweater, you hear him hush softly on top of your head as he pulls you closer to his chest by the side of your head.

he rests his chin against your hair while he gazes through the window. amidst all the chaos of the loud booming noises and car alarms going off outside, you found yourself fisting at his knitted sweater, clutching your fingers, in an attempt to be as close to him as possible, to feel safe. after all farleigh’s still your safe place. it’s not like you ever want to seek home in anybody else.

“im sorry” just as you hear him say these words you softly push him away to tilt your head towards his face. all those things he said, makes you feel like a shitty person. maybe you’re the one who didn’t care enough to see what he’s going through. maybe he’s right, you are selfish.

“why, um-“ you begin with a coarse voice, the lump in your throat still clinging onto the walls before you clear it

“why didn’t you say anything ?—“ moving your head to follow his eyes, the glossy brown pair struggling to look into yours.

“—do i not listen to you ever, farleigh ?” you struggle to find the right question for him, having no understanding for why he feels like he couldn’t say anything and instead, just left you hanging all these while.

he’s silent, eyebrows knitted as he looks up at you with a tear rolling down his cheek. the corners of his eyes red, he’s been struggling not to cry since you brought up the issue.

a shallow regret claws at the walls of your insides when you look at him, with tears down his pretty face. moving to sit on your heels, you peel the blanket off your shoulders to pull him into the warmth, both of you sitting underneath the fuzzy material

“im sorry“ the only same words he manages to let out, again

“farleigh i should’ve-“ just as you open your mouth he cuts you off

“no—”

“—im sorry that you feel like i don’t love you anymore” it’s only when he says this does he look into your eyes, his hands moving over your face to move the strands covering your eyes away.

“because i love you, so fucking much—“ farleigh inches over, hovering his forehead over yours that the tip of your noses bump into each other. you can feel his hot breath fanning against your skin, as he smooths his thumbs over your jaw, catching the stray tear falling over your waterline.

“all those stuff you said,, fuck i didn’t know it was fucked up—“

“im sorry i made you feel like that. i didn’t wanna drag you along with me. i didn’t wanna make you feel unsafe” his words pain you, knowing that he kept everything that was wrong to himself. somehow it angers you, the fact that he feels like he couldn’t come to you. does he think that you were gonna leave him if he did ?

“you know you can tell me anything, farleigh—“

“i know, i just,,” as he searches for words, a hiccup makes his shoulders jerk.

“i was afraid that-“ trailing his words off his lips, he tilts his head to suck in a deep breath, his shoulders shaky as you search into his tear stained face. you offer him the softest look you could give, letting him know that if you’re gonna be here until the sun comes up just talking, so be it.

“i didn’t want you to leave— i thought,, i thought if i ever said anything, you’d think im weak” his lips quiver as he utter the last of his words before a single tear spills over down his cheek. his hand reaches up to wipe over his nose, his slender fingers almost covering the entirety of his face.

you know how bad farleigh struggles with the way the cattons treat him, and how they always disregard it all if he even dare to bring it up. everyone seems to think they’re this untouchable perfectly wealthy family but you know how small farleigh feels sitting among them. if anyone spends as much time around them and farleigh, they’d also see how they’re treating him like an outsider while desperately trying to make him feel like family. but you didn’t know it was getting to him this badly. you didn’t know it fucks with him to the point that ut gets this bad. you could just imagine how hard he tried to conceal his own insecurities while having you around, trying to make you believe that everything was fine.

“i thought if i just kept quiet you wouldn’t notice” farleigh pushed his words out from the strings of sobs restraining him to speak as he finally breaks down from all the blocks of boulder that keeps being dropped on him, weighing him down

“im sorry—” now it’s your turn to say these two words to him, pulling him down towards you into a hug, your fingers sprawled out across his back, letting him rest his head in the crook of your neck as he cries.

“—im sorry that im too selfish to notice” you cant help but sob out into his shoulder, your hands pulling at the fabric on his back. he’s crummed up into you, as the both of you just sat there by the window, listening to the sounds of water droplets tapping at the glass.

as he pulls away, he moves so he could look into your eyes, your fingers cupping his jaw as it’s your turn to wipe his cheeks with your thumbs. trailing your eyes over each of his features, taking in every details on his face, from his long lashes to his tiny freckles. closing in the mere inches in between you, you place your lips against his delicately, kissing at his bottom lips. farleigh closes his eyes as he returns the kiss, soft and gentle, as you slowly move in a rhythm. it’s been so long since he last kissed you, and he’d only realise how much he misses sharing your warmths in a kiss, how much he misses just kissing away all the doubts you have deep within.

when you slowly pull away you feel his hands gripping on your waist as he moves forward to catch your lips again, into another kiss. he feels like it wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to stay like this forever if he could. caressing his jaw, you lean back into the kiss as you hear him hum and continue to move his lips against yours as if he never stopped kissing you since your first kiss.

pushing him away by his chest, you had to take a breath as soft giggles leave your lips looking at his swollen ones. both from crying, and also kissing you like he hasn’t for years. he can’t help but let out a few chuckles too, your pained smile radiates warmth off his heart, melting it all over again.

“teach me how to love you properly” he starts, pulling at the blanket to peel it off of him and placing it around you again.

knowing that farleigh barely ever felt love from his own family, let alone be shown how it actually is to be loved, it’s only logical that the things he did for you, and the love he showed you, was the only thing he knew of love. and to compare to the scraps he receives in this house, the love that farleigh has ever showed you was everything in this world for him, and probably beyond the kind of love he could ever imagined.

“i will”

you promise, as you’re willing to fix this over and over again knowing that you’d also be fixing him, who’s been broken since the day he was born. if anyone else leaves when the only thing he seeks for is love, let you be his shelter.

taglist: @flipsconhelado @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @farleighlover @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @inglourious-imagines @aracade

[discopaddock]

GIRLFRIEND - FARLEIGH START

PAIRING: farleigh start x fem!reader

GENRE: angst with happy ending

WORD COUNT: 478

WARNINGS: language, mentions of sex, situationship, reader is crying, use of y/n.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this was based on these requests. sorry it's so short, school is killing me fr.

“No Farleigh! You don't understand! You'll never understand!” the girl yelled at her situationship, while putting on a green sweater.

“Then tell me! Tell me what's wrong because I don't fucking understand what I'd your fucking problem!” he said, sitting up on the bed.

“You! You are my problem!” she answered with her voice breaking.

“The fuck you mean!”

“I have no fucking idea what we are Farleigh! Friends, fuck buddies, girlfriend and boyfriend?” Y/N said with tears in her eyes.

He chuckled only and smoked a fag. How could she even think about something like that.

“Darling” he started, while getting up. He stood in front of her and put his hands on her arms. “Why do you even think about it?” he asked calmly, looking at her face.

“Juliet! You fucked with her, I know that!” the girl cried, making him sigh.

“I did not fuck anyone, how did you come up with that?” Farleigh asked, wiping the tears from her face. “Who told you that? You weren't present at any parties for almost a month” he added.

“Juliet herself” she cried again. Farleigh’s face dropped, as he heard that.

“She's insane, I did not have sex with her” he said and took her face in his hands. “Darling, I swear to you, I have done nothing with Juliet or anyone but you” he assured her. “And you know when I'm telling the truth.”

Y/N only sighed and hugged his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up and took her to his bed.

“I'm sorry you heard this, darling girl” he mumbled to her hair, while stroking it. “You're my one and only,” he said.

“So girlfriend?” she asked.

“Yeah, girlfriend” Farleigh answered and pressed a kiss on top of her head.

On the next day, Y/N woke up beside her now boyfriend, Farleigh. He was running his hand on her back as she was lying on his bare chest.

“Morning” he mumbled, looking at her.

“Hello” she answered and within twenty minutes they were on the way to classes with their hands holding each other.

“Oh, hi Farleigh” Juliet said as she stood in front of him, acting like Y/N was never there. “What are you doing?” she asked and he only furrowed his brows.

“Having an amazing time with my girlfriend” he replied and smiled rudely. He watched Juliet's face with pure satisfaction and then he started walking Y/N to her class, leaving Juliet speechless.

“You're rude” she said, when they stood at the door of her art class.

“You should be too” he chuckled and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Have a nice day, darling,” he said. “I'll be waiting for you” he gave her a wink and she entered the room with hot cheeks.

She was in love. And so was he.

masterlist

[zombisarchive]

BELLYACHE

mdni. blurb. not proofread.

Farleigh Start x reader

warnings: angst, being called stupid, mean farleigh, no happy ending ?

Farleigh and I had been seeing each other in secret for almost a year. I’ve tried speaking to him about maybe making whatever we have into a real relationship. Every time I get shut down, “I don’t have time for that y/n” or “Don’t start again with that.” What’s so wrong with wanting to be public with him?

He dragged me to some party, it was almost 3 in the morning and not once as he came and spoken to me. What’s the point of inviting me if he’s going to ignore me all night! Luckily Felix kept me company. Felix was a true friend, unlike Farleigh who just uses me and abandons me when he pleases. Eventually Felix found himself a girl, he still included me in their conversation but he can clearly tell I wasn't having the best time. "Why don't you look for a guy to chat up?" Felix said loudly over the blaring music, "I don't know Fe, it's not my type of thing to do that at parties" He rolled his eyes, "You've got to have fun in some way! Anna and I are going upstairs, later!" Felix said as he took hold of the random girls hand, walking away with her. I was completely alone now.

I wandered around the party, hoping I could find Farleigh. Sadly, instead of Far, I found Ollie. I didn't speak much to Ollie but he seemed fine. He was sitting on a couch with a drink in hand. I go sit next to him striking up conversation, I noticed his face was flushed, he was probably wasted. "Ollie! Hey" He looked over at me flashing an awkward smile, "Oh hey..Farleigh's not with you?" Oliver's question caught me a little off guard, “why would he be with me?” “Oh just thought..i thought that girl he was with was you..” My heart dropped to my stomach, “He was with another girl? Where is he now?” Oliver let out a hiccup as he shrugged “I dunno..they walked that way in there” He pointed past me to a room with the door closed. I shot up from my seat, “thanks ollie.” I said bitterly.

A part of me knew what I was going to find behind that door, but the other part hoped it wasn’t going to be what I thought it was. My stomach was turning at the thought. I knocked on the door kinda hard, only to hear Far’s voice saying “Go away!” I knocked again and pushed the door open without waiting for him to say anything. I stood there in the door way seeing him fingers deep inside some girl. My knees went weak, I wanted to throw up right there. “What are you doing?..” I asked seeing Farleighs eyes widen, slipping his fingers out of the girl, watching as they compose themselves. My head was pounding. We were never officially together so why do I care so much?

I moved from the doorway, rushing myself out of the party. I couldn’t be there, not when I just witnessed that. I can hear Farleigh calling out for me, turning around i yelled “what?!” “woah- why are you upset?” “Why am I upset?” I shouted as i turned to face him, “You cannot be that thick!” Farleigh stood there shocked, we were getting stares from people arriving at the party. “I don’t know what your talking about! Stop being so stupid and tell me” Farleigh said clearly getting upset. I sighed in frustration, “You invited me out to this party and I don’t even get to see you all night! Only to find out from fucking Oliver that your with some girl..fingers deep may i add!” I yelled out as I did a hand motion with my fingers moving up and down. Farleigh scoffed at me, “Okay? I left you alone at party, big fucking deal.”

My eyes widen, as my jaw dropped, “Are you kidding me?” “what?” He said with a confused laugh. “How are you going to go a finger some bimbo when I’m right here!” Farleigh started to get the hint, he let out a frustrated sigh, “Why do you care so much who i fuck?!” He yelled out before his expression changing, he finally understood why i was so upset. “what exactly do you think we have going on here?” His eerily calm yet aggressive tone shook me to my core, I stood there unable to speak before stuttering out “I-I don’t know..” Farleigh rolled his eyes at me, “You clearly do..do you think we’re some kind of couple?” I shrugged, my heart was pounding, I felt nauseous. “Listen..we fuck. we’re fuck buddies, that’s all we’re ever going to be” Farleigh said sternly. My heart dropped, I know it’s all we’d ever be but I can’t help my growing feelings for him.

Watching as he took a deep breath to calm down, his gaze was cold and uninviting. “Go home.” With that he turned around stepping back into the part leaving me alone outside. I stood there in shock, tears welling up in my eyes, my lip quivering. Before I knew it, I was there crying. I began to walk to my car, sobbing uncontrollably. How could he be so cruel? Involving myself with him was a mistake. Why couldn’t we have just been friends and not friends with benefits?

I drove myself home, rushing inside my home, and flopping onto my bed, sobbing into my pillow. To Farleigh I was just another one of his toys. But for me, my feelings towards him were genuine. I longed for Farleigh, I needed him. He was everything I could ever want. A part of me hoped Farleigh would text me or even show up and tell me he loved me. But i knew that wasn’t like him. Instead I got a text from Felix asking me where I had gone and if I knew why Farleigh was upset. My stomach was turning, the bellyache I’ve had since the party wasn’t going away and it was all his fault. Screw him for being so perfect, and screw me for being such a hopeless romantic.

☆ taglist!

- @fedyascoffin

☆ requests open ! Taglist open!

☆ this was kinda bad sorry— but im so gonna write a smut fic w Farleigh, any reqs or ideas would be appreciated!! <3

[sharpvst]

you'll get lost

here in saltburn . .

let me guide you.

farleigh start x reader.

trigger warnings ; mentions of death.

————————————————————

it was an early morning , venetia had left me to gather my thoughts here in saltburn. we were the first to arrive. poor venetia was barely awake , so she decided to go have a nap. i got set up in my room — which wasn't next to venetia's room , which was odd. but of course , i was naive to think anything of it.

i was unpacking before the maids got to it , she told me that they'd throw out anything that they deemed ' scandalous ' and i had a lot of things considered that. until i heard a small knock at my door. i froze for a moment , hoping that it wasn't one of those damn maids yet.

i hurried over to the door , opening it and being welcomed by a tall handsome man , i hadn't seen him when i came in. he gave me a small little smile , looking down on me.

" hey. " he said ever so nonchalantly , i had no idea who the hell it was. it made me nervous. " hey . . " awkwardly , i leaning against my door frame. " sorry , probably just weirded you out , i'm farleigh — i'll be next door to you. " great , just what i needed , a guy next door to me.

the only reason i came to saltburn was to get away from guys — my boyfriend , now ex cheated on me. this was my escape. i nodded my head at him. " i'm y/n. " i hesitantly smiled up at him. " another american ? how wild. " he chuckled , i came from the windy city itself , chicago. " mhm , yeah. " i wasn't paying much attention , i was more focused on getting my shit together.

" what are you doing all the way out here ? " he leaned down a bit , i caught a good glimpse of him. he was handsome , great sense of style. he smelled oddly good. " i go to school out in london , needed a change of scenery. " i eased up a bit . . he didn't seem creepy. " ah , nice. " another smile from him , he's too friendly for his own good.

" so — it's a pleasure to meet you , i suppose you got stuff to do , sure venetia is going to be around here soon. " he tapped the door frame , attempting to leave. " she's not , i think she's napping. " i said , one hand on the door to keep it open. i could use the company , this place was ginormous . . but lonely. " i - uh . . don't really know much about this place , i don't even really know where i am in the house right now. " i tried to make small talk.

" it can feel like that , did venetia not give you a tour ? " he asked , i caught his attention. " no , she just took me to my room and said she was off for a nap. " i sighed , i didn't think venetia would be around for awhile.

" what a shame , this place is really beautiful. here , let me show you around. "

the hours passed as farleigh showed me around saltburn , we formed this slight closeness in the lonely halls. i . . enjoyed his presence , and i think he enjoyed mine. we talked for hours on end , we did have a lot in common after all.

i think i spent more time with farleigh than anything , we did everything together. sometimes i forgot that venetia invited me. i could tell that she was pissed — but i was just having fun. it was the best summer of my life , all spent with him.

but my favorite memory came towards the end of the summer. we avoided the hedge maze on my first go around saltburn , but i begged him to take me. we got lost , just laughing at our stupidity as we walked together. after awhile we reached the middle of the maze - there stood a huge minotaur.

we sat on the edge of the statute , admiring the beauty of the sky and the maze - until i caught his gaze on me. he stared at me , that dumb smile on his face.

" y/n? " he finally spoke. " yeah? " i turned to look at him , i met his gaze. " thank you. "

" for what ? "

" this summer. "

he was talking like he was on his death bed , but we leave saltburn tomorrow. " why are you thanking me ? " i asked , chuckling a little.

" because , it was the best summer i've ever had here. " i could feel my cheeks flush , i'd miss him so much. we never really spoke about what actually happened that summer , the bond we made - the things we did. we never talked about how one night i woke up next to him.

" i don't think i'll miss saltburn as much as i'll miss you. " he sounded hesitant , i nodded my head in agreement. this summer was one of the best i'd ever had , and it was all thanks to him. " i'm sure we will see each other again. " i stayed optimistic.

" maybe , maybe not. " that broke my heart , i stared in disbelief for a moment. " why ? " i looked down at the ground. " because i'm going back to america to be with my mother. " i understood , family comes first.

" then i'll see you next summer. "

" next summer. " he smiled , grabbing my smaller hand and holding it. " let's try and top this summer next year. " he chuckled , i agreed again. i sighed , deep down . . i didn't want to wait that long.

we sat in silence for awhile , birds chirping as time passed , he never let go of my hand. when i finally looked at him , he smiled at me. getting up and releasing my hand. " let's make tonight last. " he got hopeful. " forever. " i said , standing up and following him. i wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

we stayed like that for a moment , none of us saying a word. he turned around , my arms still wrapped around him. that cheeky smile is all i remember , that moment repeating in my mind over and over again.

next summer , didn't happen. i didn't see farleigh again till we were standing over the grave of each one of the cattons. he held my hand as he silently mourned his cousin while i mourned my friend venetia. we didn't say a word to each other. we just stood in remembrance of our loved ones.

maybe in another life , another time.

[kumememe]

library talk at dusk (farleigh start x m! reader)

warnings: slightly edited but otherwise written in one go, spelling errors and grammar is sad, slightly ooc farleigh start, reader is male bc there is a lack of male reader love for this fandom note: hi, first work since forever... please be kind <3

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farleigh start was a simple man. when it comes to people he hates, he is often cruel, rude, and judgmental at every chance he interacts with them. he judges their poorly-coordinated clothes, their personalities that make them stick out like a bug, and he laughs at their misfortunes when he sees it happen upfront. as a cousin of the infamous felix catton, the self-proclaimed 'prince of oxford', he had a reputation to uphold. it wasn't like it was different from how he usually acted, no- it was more heightened to give its desired effect. people who were in the same major as him were often intimidated by him, and farleigh knew he had to be selective about who he wants as his friends. he couldn't let someone inferior to be part of his pack because why would he? only the worthiest would have the chance. and yet, everything changed when he met y/n l/n. that stupid brat. well, technically he wasn't a brat, but everything y/n did annoy the shit out farleigh. the way y/n was so kind, nice, and approachable, the way he carried himself so elegantly and effortlessly to the point where he got undivided attention by his peers and professors, the way he laughed and smiled at every single stupid joke his obnoxious classmates would toss at him- it was annoying. farleigh knew that the moment he saw y/n at the field, lying down on the grass as he laughed and sang along to the music his small circle of friends would play, the way his h/c hair would softly dance around in the breeze, with his irritatingly charming smile- he knew he had to hate him. and yet... at the same time, he couldn't. 

there was something different about him. farleigh knows differently when he sees it, and y/n isn't like people who wanted to be friends with him, desperately clawing at him to be let into his exclusive friend group to achieve status. no, y/n was unique. he didn't care much about status as he stayed true to himself, or at least what he wanted his own persona to be seen as through an outsider's lens. y/n was a bright young man, majoring in the same course farleigh was in, which he excelled at with him. y/n was the type to offer help to those who needed it, even as mundane as carrying books to the library. he was perfect in many ways farleigh couldn't understand, much to farleigh's dismay. he wanted to get to know him, but his reputation had to be held up. why? he felt it was an obligation, a rule to do so. with that, whenever y/n would approach him, he would give him some snarky remark.

"hey farleigh," y/n greets the tall male with a kind and unwavering smile. farleigh scoffs, crossing his arms, "hello, y/n. still sucking up to the professors, are you?" he would say sarcastically, trying to invoke some sort of negative reaction from the male but... it never works. y/n would  do what he always does- chuckle, shrug, and reply with some light joke. "i mean if it works, it works." y/n replied as he walked away, going to his group of friends who were waiting for him at the end of the hall. farleigh turns his head to see y/n being greeted by his peers, rolling his eyes at the way y/n brushed off his rude remarks. farleigh was a little annoyed. how can someone be so nonchalant, carefree, and just confident when it comes to this? was farleigh jealous? yes, but he would never admit it. if he was held at gunpoint, he wouldn't even budge. to say he was jealous of how y/n's natural uncaring yet kind behavior was an understatement.

but here farleigh was, in the crux of dusk, sitting in the library as with the very male he had a confusing opinion on. y/n and farleigh were paired on some project their professor had assigned. books, notebooks, pieces of yellow pad were scattered on the table, along with pens and laptops opened on the side. y/n tapped away on his laptop as he chewed on his lip, trying to think of how to write a certain paragraph more cohesively. farleigh was doing the same, but he was more interested to see what y/n was doing. he leans over slightly, taking a peak at y/n's work. "hm," he hums. y/n looks over his shoulder to give farleigh a curious look, before turning back to his paper. "do you think this argument is valid, farleigh?" y/n asks, highlighting the paragraph he just wrote down.

"i think it would be better if you gave one more supporting evidence." farleigh says, pointing at the end of the paragraph. "you need three solid evidences, and you have two so far. otherwise, i think it's good." farleigh says in an aloof tone, before going back to his own work. y/n sighs and stretches a bit, feeling his body become sore from how he had been slumped over for the past few hours. "i think it's time we take a break." he says quietly, saving his work on the file as he closes his laptop. he turns to farleigh, who was deeply focused on his work as he types quietly. the tall male's brows furrowed as he stared at the screen. y/n leans his head on his arm, which was propped up on the table. he opens his mouth to ask something, but hesitates slightly. with a shaky voice, he says, "you should take a break too." he says quietly, catching farleigh's attention as the brown-skinned male stops typing.

"y/n, this is due at midnight. we have no time to take a break." farleigh says sternly, running a hand through his hair as y/n shakes his head. "we've been working on this for... 4 hours straight. we're lucky that the librarian let us eat here while we worked." y/n expresses with a slight tired tone, "just five minutes, i swear." y/n promises.

farleigh reluctantly nods, sighing as he saves his work and turns his laptop off. "five minutes." he repeats, slumping into his chair as he closes his eyes for a bit. an awkward silence consumes the air between the two, before y/n spoke. "so..." he trails off, not knowing what to say as farleigh turns his head towards the latter, eyebrow raised expectantly. y/n clears his throat, "you know, i've always felt this vibe coming from you... the vibe that says that you don't like me." y/n says quietly, which surprises farleigh slightly. this was unexpected, he didn't think y/n would bring his passive-aggressiveness up as the conversation opener. it was understandable however, since the tension between them may grow if left unopened like a can of sardines. farleigh shifts in his chair slightly, "didn't think you'd finally notice." farleigh says in an unintentionally snarky tone. y/n frowns slightly, "it's kind of hard to ignore, to be honest... our banter always seems so playful from the outside but sometimes i just wonder if you do hate me." y/n looks down at his lap, before looking at the table in front of him.

this makes farleigh's heartstrings feel like they are being tugged at, as he didn't know that he had given a negative impression to the latter. farleigh stays silent for a bit, not knowing how to respond. he didn't know if his teasing was more or less just that. sure, he hated the way y/n was pure, and had no ill intentions in any of his actions with everyone he talks with- he was admirable, at best. maybe farleigh projected his insecurities too much on y/n, and he knew he was at fault. and yet... he swallowed the lump in his throat, having trouble forming the right words. once farleigh did, he made sure to explain his side carefully.

"i don't hate you." farleigh admits quietly as he crosses his arms, looking at y/n with a sincere gaze. this makes y/n's eyes widen slightly at the sincerity, eyes locking with farleigh. the tall brown male continues, "i guess my banter has left more than desired..." he says, looking away. farleigh takes a deep breath, "i let my insecurities get the best of me, and i let them out on you. I'm sorry."

y/n's gaze softened at the admission, the first time he didn't see the usual snark and judgemental attitude that the tall male would hide behind. y/n licks his dry lips, giving farleigh a warm smile. "d-don't worry, i don't hold it against you." he says softly, making farleigh roll his eyes. "see? this is what i mean, y/n."

"you're always so nice to everyone, so pure- you never seem to make any enemies. you're so free to do what you want and yet i'm here just..." farleigh huffs frustratedly. the confession hangs heavy in the air, with y/n sitting up properly. he adjusts his seat so he can place a careful hand on farleigh's shoulder. giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "farleigh," y/n starts gently, his voice filled with understanding. "thank you for your honesty, i appreciate it."

"but that doesn't mean you should compare yourself to me, or anyone else for that matter." y/n comforts, "we all have our ways of living life, our ow struggles... believe me. before i got to where i am now, i've been through my fair share of challenges."

farleigh looks at y/n, seeing the empathy in his eyes. he swallows the lump of saliva in his throat, as he listens to the h/c-haired male. "in my eyes, you have so much more to you than what meets the eye. you have so much potential for good, and you deserve to do what you want without being held back, okay?" he says tenderly. if y/n wasn't so damn kind, farleigh would have shrugged this off. but something in his gut knew that the former was right. "i apolgize if i'm being too serious, it's just... maybe it's time to let yourself relax and open up. well- technically you already did the last part but... you're capable of many great things."

farleigh chuckles at y/n's rambled advice, his tense shoulders relaxing. he has to admit it, he's starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, he liked y/n more than he hated him. "...thank you, l/n." he says with a heartfelt tone in his voice, such softness that makes y/n smile. y/n nods, "no worries, start." y/n releases the grip he had on farleigh's shoulder, much to farleigh's dismay. he lays both of his arms on the table, using them as a cushion for his head. "farleigh, you know since we are being candid here, i've always found you admirable."

farleigh's eyes flickered open just a touch wider, "really?"

y/n nods, "yeah. you're honest, not afraid of saying your own opinions... you have a confident aura that people like me wish for. confident, as in, you can just talk to anyone you would like with no struggle. not only that, but you are also arrogant. arrogant in a way that it is actually deserving since you are top of your class, smart, and..." y/n lists down, each sentence leaving him turning quieter as farleigh's grin widens every time. farleigh lets out a snicker, and y/n smiles. "what?" the latter asked, as farleigh shook his head. "it's cute that you admire me." he says with a hint of sarcasm, which makes y/n roll his eyes.

"oh, bug off, don't make me take it back." y/n threatens lightly.

farleigh takes a deep yet content sigh, already feeling the atmosphere lighten up as the two chuckled. with this cheesy opening up between the two, he knew that this shift will change their dynamic. and for once in his life, he can see y/n being a positive force in it. as he takes a look at the time on the wall clock, he turns to y/n with a small smile.

"whatever. come on, we have work to do."

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thanks for reading my bad work, lol, it has been a few years since i have written for any fandom, and i really appreciate anyone who reads this. if you have any suggestions, feel free to send them in. thank you :>>

[overleftdown]

deranged post-canon farleigh speculation

so. archie madekwe said something that makes me question a lot of the other post-canon speculation (often quickstart dynamic post-canon fics, speculation, etc.). Basically, he was talking about how tired Farleigh was getting, in the point in time that the movie is set. This is depicted through his confrontation with Felix, which Archie confirmed was the first conversation Farleigh has had with the cattons about the issue of bias.

a review by hilton als briefly touched on farleigh's possible future, as well. it was a very negative and... honestly understandable idea of what farleigh would grow up to become. aka, someone who exploited and tokenized their race for "brownie points," pun not intended. i see a lot of people crafting stories of farleigh finding different ways to rejoin the ultra-rich class. and i kinda wanna say that i... don't like that. here's an anecdote: my cousin and i had a conversation about his experience moving from a white-dominated, suburban environment. he argues that although racism is still prevalent where he now lives, the racism he experienced in his hometown was so painfully, covertly delivered. it's this sort of "could you just call me a slur or something" mentality.

although farleigh is terrified of change, although farleigh is terrified of losing what he believes is an accommodation for his marginalization (it isn't; you can't buy your way out of racism), although farleigh learned to be materialistic through the ways in which he was raised, although farleigh is constantly running away from something--i think he was reaching a point of genuine hatred for the ways in which racism is delivered to him in this environment. i would also go insane. so freakishly insane. i think his conversation with felix made him understand that maybe the cattons will never even try to change. that the cattons couldn't even acknowledge the problem in the first place. that you can't really win, with people like the cattons. it's always a game of when, and never if. when will they finally, politely discard me?

this leaves a couple options. the first, farleigh learns to be financially independent and very much successful. he would never rely on other people again, especially not white people. this leaves room for hilton als' interpretation, but the fact that farleigh was cognizant of and willing to mention racial bias to felix is evidence for me to assume that farleigh is beyond belittling himself like that. farleigh already experienced so much shame from catering towards the cattons and their whiteness... i don't think he'd keep going with that. not with the way it ended. not after he had the horrible wake-up call that was both his cousins dying. so, maybe farleigh does find his way back to wealth. maybe through fashion, through modeling like his mother, through another form of art, through business, whatever.

the other option is that farleigh just... doesn't acquire that level or even close to that level of wealth again. i kinda like this idea. i kinda like imagining farleigh in a city flat or smaller suburban house, finding a significant other and probably never ever having kids. that, of course, still leaves room for farleigh to go and brutalize oliver out of saltburn. but i'd like to think he wouldn't take saltburn back. as i've said before, farleigh was never greedy. he never wanted to replace or succeed the cattons, nor did he want any form of dominance over them. to be their equal, yes. to be seen and heard and given attention, yes. but never did he play his games to knock felix or venetia down. i feel like farleigh would be the "eat the rich" that saltburn didn't have. not in the corny way, because farleigh is no robin hood, nor is he an innocent and selfless person.

my ideal "sequel" type situation would be farleigh returning to saltburn after living comfortably and humbly for the last 20 years. he's not here out of moral obligation. he's not here to steal back the catton wealth. he's here selfishly, and out of burning hatred. he's here because oliver stole any sense of closure farleigh could've ever had. he's here because oliver never gave farleigh the opportunity to forgive his family, nor to mourn them, nor to visit those memories, nor to make new ones. farleigh is here to wreck oliver's shit. it's not healthy, it's not pretty, it's not clean. i'd imagine 40-year-old farleigh, having matured, returning to saltburn and regressing to the same games he always used to play. lying, people pleasing, pretending, sex, drugs, sass, etc. ahhh. my ideal sequel. a man who found peace without closure and finds closure through a significant lack of peace. and, also, oliver dead as hell.

[stvolanis]

toxic!farleigh start PLEASE I BEG OF YOU😫😫

I hear you, I hear you! love me some toxic men…angst with smut!!! kinda fluff at the end if you squint.

FWB Farleigh Start! who you’ve been having sex with since he began attending Oxford, but he was gracious enough to extend an invitation to stay with him in saltburn; but no strings attached, obviously.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who fucks you into oblivion nearly every night, not bothering to pull out since he put you on the pill. He’ll mutter the sweetest things to you while he pounds into your sore, overused pussy. “Love you s’much, baby. Love this fuckin’ pussy.” He’d say in your ear, his voice husky before kissing your shoulder. Almost as if you were lovers.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who when he’s done rutting his cum in all of your holes, cleans you up and leaves a kiss on your head; sparing you one last glance before he leaves you alone for the night to go to his room. Your heart broke each and every time he walked out of the room.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who won’t make whatever it is you have official, but won’t let you see anyone else besides him and throws bitch fits when he sees you talking to Felix, and god forbid, Oliver. It sparks arguments and harsh words, yet it just ends up with make-up sex.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who loves you more than he loves himself, yet he can’t bring himself to be in a relationship with you in fear of him hurting you. But, he doesn’t wanna see you with anyone else, so while you’re asleep he unlocks your phone and goes through your contacts, deleting the ones he feels like he has to worry about.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who smirks to himself as he watches your brows furrow in confusion when messages you swore were there, are suddenly gone.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who you see dancing with a redhead dressed in a slutty nurse costume at one of the parties at Saltburn. He could see the hurt dance across your face, the tears well up in your eyes. How badly he wanted to just go up to you, look you in your pretty little eyes and tell you that he’s only ever wanted you.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who can’t accept his feelings for you, so fearful of the unknown. He’s never felt the way he feels about you for anyone else, and it scares him. So, he lets the red headed tramp lead him up the stairs to a spare bedroom.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who freezes when the red head perches herself on his lap. Knowing she isn’t you, he pushes her off and swings the door open, storming down the stairs, looking desperately around for you.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who finally finds you, yet you’re in the arms of the person he despises the most with tears running down your cheeks. Something Oliver says makes you laugh through your tears, and Farleigh swears he felt a pang in his chest.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who, on impulse, drags you away from Oliver; obviously not before throwing profanities at him.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who throws you onto your bed, both of your wrists held above your head by just one of his large hands, his fingers adorned with pretty rings. His other hand making quick work of shimmying off your shorts and white panties.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who fucks you with 3 of his fingers while whispering the dirtiest things to you. “Such a slut, hm? Fuck anyone who’ll give you attention?” He taunted. “No one can make you feel this good with just their fingers, honey.” He said as he licked his lips, watching the way your pussy soaked his fingers, the sound echoing in the air.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who makes you cum at least 4 times with just his fingers till he feels like you’ve learned your lesson. “You’re mine. Get that through your pretty fuckin’ head.” He said through gritted teeth. You nodded your head, a babbling, whimpering mess under him.

FWB Farleigh Start! Who sleeps next to you that night for the first time and whispers sweet nothings to you as his hands trace little stars on your back. Maybe things would change. Just maybe.

don’t be shy, ask to be a part of the tag list and request things!!

tag list: @elvisalltheway101 @epthedream69 @claire-elvisgirl @elvisrealgf @littlehoneyposts @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @luxuriouslokistan-3 @foxevxid @salepso

[qpidkitea]

ENDUREMENT

FARLEIGH START X FEM! READER

PRÉCIS: Second part of Tranquility, where Farleigh talks about himself and his family. Hoping that you wouldn't judge and come with him to America to visit his mother.

WARNING: Angst, cursing, mentions of death, mentions of Oliver, kisses, happy ending. The reader is kind of an anchor for the family right now.

A/N: Big big biggg thanks to @darkeyesshine for the ideas for this fic. Thank you again!!

No one knew about your 'relationship' with Farleigh. You weren't even sure yourself you two were officially together, but you cared for him, likewise he cared for you. The two of you spent many nights at Saltburn sneaking into each other's rooms for nothing more than the comfort company and some shared kisses- not on the lips just yet, silently grateful that you two uncoincidentally chose rooms down the hall from each other. You don't even think that fucking freak. Oliver knew, and he knew everything.

You and Farleigh lie beneath the duvet in his room, your head resting on his naked chest, your arm laying across his stomach as he smokes a cigarette, being careful to blow the smoke in the air, attempting not to cause severe damage to your lungs, even though you're definitely sure you have already been exposed to secondhand smoke just from being near the Cattons. For the past two weeks, you have been staying in Farleigh's room during the night, but you made sure that in the day, you'd invite the Cattons to come and do the things they used to when Felix was here. It was fun while it lasted. Now Farleigh was planning to go back home to America permanently. Venetia was still severely depressed, but it wasn't like you could ask her to stop. You didn't know how Elspeth and James were feeling. They hid their emotions through careless eyes, moving on with the same normality as before.

You look up at Farleigh, who was just finishing his cigarette. You watch as he throws it out of the open window before he looks down at you with concern behind his eyes.

"What?" Staring wasn't the word to explain what you were doing, you were admiring. His beautiful brown skin was glistening in the scorching sun, and you swore you could almost mistake him for a Greek God. His brown curls settled perfectly around his face, he was perfect to you. Everything about him was perfect. You just hoped he may feel the same about you.

"Nothing. Just looking at you." Farleigh lets out a laugh, smiling so hard his cheeks expand, but that only made him look cuter. You sit up from laying on his chest, and move to sit Criss Cross on the end of his bed facing him. Farleigh sits up next, and you can't help but laugh when he turns to the side to stretch, seeing the back of his hair flattened.

"Oh, shut up! I'm fixing it." You're still laughing, and you swear you could almost pass out from laughter. Using one slender arm, Farleigh fluffs the hair at the back of his head. Your laughter dies down and you take a deep breath. Smiling again at him.

"Farleigh, is there anything on your mind before you depart for America next week?" You feel bad bringing this up when just a moment before you were laughing with him, but you didn’t want him leaving in a horrible mood. Farleigh runs a hand up and down his chest, nodding his head a bit. He moves to stretch his legs over you, socked feet laying in your lap. You scrunch your face up before pushing his feet to the side of you. Farleigh takes in a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"I have to get the fuck away from here. I can't stand it. They make me feel like an imbecile- not Venetia." You nod your head at his clarification, now understanding that he was talking about James and Elspeth. You knew James was funding Farleigh's mom- his own sister  - back in America, but you didn't know that Farleigh was receiving the backlash from his mother's actions. Unfortunately, you also know that Farleigh's mother was disowned from the family. You don't know why, but you know her name is completely off the will, and most likely they would withdraw from paying for college.

"He claims he doesn't care about my "Bloody American Feelings-" What the fuck does he even mean?" Farleigh looks at you with wide eyes, emphasizing his point. Farleigh was a very handsy talker, moving his arms around to explain his point. You stay silent, letting him get his rant off. You weren't related to the Cattons- just a friend of Farleigh's, Venetia's, and Felix's, who the Cattons let stay. This was your 3rd year staying in Saltburn.

"This place is too- much for me right now. I miss my mom, I miss my house, I never even wanted to really go to Oxford, I only went because Felix wanted me to- I don't fit in anywhere. A queer, needy person of color in the middle of England? Fucking England!" You pout slightly at his outburst, not liking him calling himself needy.

"You're not needy, Farleigh. Don't believe what Sir James says about you. He's a complete and utter fool. You can't expect someone who's been rich their whole life to understand anything from the perspective of someone who hasn't had everything handed to them." You look into his eyes as you say this, making sure he understands exactly what you are trying to say.

"Thank you. I know, I just- you're a problem for me. I want to get away from here, but I can't just leave you here. jus' can't let you go back home and forget about me, can I?" Farleigh grows this smug smirk on his face, taunting you almost.

"Oh, shut up! I'd be fine without you." At this, Farleigh quirks an eyebrow, his smirk dropping before he comes to his knees on the bed, crawling over to you over the expanse of the bed before leaning on top of you, his shadow blocking out any light.

"Live? Without me? Impossible. You need me. Who's gonna make you laugh in the late hours of the night, hm?" Farleigh tilts his head at the end of his question, his curls moving along with him. There's nothing but teasing behind his voice but it still makes you nervous none the less, playing your bashfulness off, you push him, making him fall backwards because of his unstable position.

"Okay! I'll miss you, I must admit, but as long as you just call me, we'll be fine" You cross your arms as Farleigh sits back upright, crossing his legs now, his long limbs folding across each other. It's weird, because he's quiet. He's looking down, facial expression blank, a bit of uncertainty in his movements, fiddling with the box of cigarettes in his lap.

"Do you want to come with me?"

"What?"

"Do you... want to come with me? To America." Fairleigh knew you lived alone, your very wealthy parents died a month before you went off to college, and you inherited all of their wealth. It would last you at least another 10 years, and by that time, you would already have a job, living on your own. This is part of the reason you had no problem going to Saltburn for the last three years. You had no family waiting for you to come home for the holidays.

"Are you sure you would want me to come?"

"I wouldn't be able to live my life with just a phone call every week." Farleigh looks up with a smile, his hair bouncing, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Okay. How long do you want me to stay?" Farleigh has surprise written all over his face, he never expected you to agree so quickly, to want you to come to such a place with him, where you know you won't have the finest things, or a great big house to live in.

"We'll come back before school starts again and go back in for all the breaks. I'll be able to finish college. They paid in full for tuition already." He smirks and pulls out a cigarette from the small cardboard box, putting it between his ring and middle finger, but not lighting it just yet.

"What about when school ends?" Would you stay in England? Or would you find a home in America to be with Farleigh, or possibly find a home together? You brush your thoughts off as wishful and look up from your lap at Farleigh with your head tilted, awaiting an answer.

"Oh, I'm hoping that you'll stay with me in America? Pretty, pretty, pretty pleaseeeee." You laugh, knowing of the incoming dramatics about to come from Farleigh, and if on cue, he flops backwards on the bed, shaking his head about in a show of a tantrum. Swinging his arms behind his head, somehow throwing his cigarette across the cold wooden floors and huffing loudly. He rolls off the bed, landing on his feet before he comes to the side of the bed. You turn your body to him, and he's on his knees, his hands grabbing your own before he pleads dramatically.

"I'll do anything! Just come with me and stay. You'll love the fatty American cheeseburgers, I swear!" It's surprising how long Farleigh can hold up a good act, not once breaking his role to laugh or even cringe at himself.

"Anything, huh?" You lean forward and smile. Fairleigh's blonde and brown curls touch your forehead.

"Anything." It wasn't you who made the first move, but Farleigh. As he inches himself to your face, you lean in also, but it felt as if you weren't the one controlling your body. Your forehead tickles, and you want nothing but to back away and rub at your forehead to get rid of that itchy feeling, but your body won't let you. Slowly you two inched closer together until your lips finally touched, Farleigh sighs softly, like he was waiting for this moment, and you can't help but melt into the kiss.

To you- to the both of you, this confirms everything. Small stares at each other across the dining room table, the lingering touches at the bar, the matching costumes you two would often wear to parties. You couldn't believe it took this long for you to even just kiss, even after nights of sleeping in the same bed. Farleigh is the first one to pull back, and you can clearly see, etched on his face, is nothing but adornment.

"I can't believe I let myself wait three fucking years for that. Should've done it way sooner." You two bust out into laughter at his words, knowing that a new beginning would start for the both of you.

Farleigh ushers you to knock on the front door, but you slap his hand away from the small of your back, insisting on ringing the doorbell, the house was medium-sized, but it was a breath of fresh air for you, you grew sick of high ceilings and Renaissance walls. You could hear his mother's steps get louder as she approached the door. Heels- she was wearing heels. The doorknob twists in your view before the door opens towards Farleigh's mother. She wore a beautiful black pantsuit with red lipstick and red heels to match. She might've not been filthy rich, but she dressed like she was, even if it was inexpensive or not a designer brand. A white smile comes upon her face as she looks at you, and then at her son.

“Oh! You must be Y/N. Nice to meet you darling” You almost forgot she was English. Her accent was not as strong as yours, but you could tell her upbringing.

“nice to meet you Ms.-" You smile back at her, reaching out to shaker her hand, but she ignores it, instead pulling you in for a tight hug.

“please, call me Frederica, come in, come in, quite cold outside” She steps aside from the doorway, allowing you and Farleigh to enter. She winks at Farleigh, motioning her head towards you as he passes. Extending her two thumbs out at him. But you don't see that. She then pulls her son into a warm, tight embrace, kissing his cheek, some of her red lipstick transferring onto his face. Your heart warms as she tells Farleigh how much she missed him, and it nearly melts away as he responds, telling her the same thing.

She turns to you now, who's still standing in the middle of the living room. The woman motions her hand for you to sit on the couch, and you do. She smiles and sits next to you, and Farleigh almost screams in horror as he too comes to sit on the couch, only to notice the blue picture book sitting on the coffee table, undoubtedly filled with his most embarrassing baby photos. The woman next to you crosses her legs before turning to you and smiling.

“Farleigh is quite fond of you, talks about you all the time over the telephone." Farleigh turns away, pretending not to hear his mother as he looks at the white curtains hanging from the window. Tapping his foot on the carpeted floor. You smile and laugh slightly, imagining him ranting about you to his mother, who's never even met you.

"Really?" Your tone is teasing. Even if he wasn't looking your way, he could definitely hear you.

"Oh absolutely, almost every day, and now I know why. You're stunning. Now, let me show you some of his baby pictures." Farleigh whips his head over to look at his mother with wide eyes, his hair swinging wildly.

"Mother, no!"

[ludicdoll]

𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

farleigh start ☆

pairing: farleigh start x fem!reader

contents: american reader, smoking, soft farleigh, very slight angst, fluff

synopsis: you and farleigh smoke under the sunset, reminiscing on your exciting summer.

a/n: go listen to weak for your love by thee sacred souls nowww

you sigh against the warm breeze, staring up into the golden sky. your summer was coming to an end, which means you would have to leave saltburn, which means you would have to go back home to america. you thought you wouldn’t care when summer ended, in fact you were excited to go back home—but now everything’s changed. your summer started out with felix inviting you after the graduation party. he said “everyone will miss you if you leave so early.” he was definitely just trying to make you feel better, but you caved in on his offer anyway. on the first day you arrived at the estate, elspeth almost immediately claimed you as one of her own children.

she was a very sincere woman, her blonde hair was always pinned up to frame her classic face, and her clothes always reflected her wealth. you were so intimidated by the catton’s at first, but as you got to know them better, you realized they’re quite normal. sure—the family heirloom art pieces on the walls and their 200 acres of land weren’t normal, but on the surface of their personalities, they were just average people who happened to be blessed with money. during your stay at the mansion, you found yourself talking to farleigh more often. at oxford you and farleigh never talked much, only sharing occasional glances from across lecture halls. you shared the same friend group with him due to felix and got along surprisingly well.

you both had witty personalities, a stubborn flare, and incredible fashion tastes. you recall your first real conversation with farleigh. it was on your first night at saltburn during dinner. you were seated next to him and gossiped the whole time about annabel and felix’s situationship. you laughed and smiled at his words and he seemed to be feeling just as amused as you were. now and then you would have your petty, harmless arguments, but nothing too extreme. in the midst of all of the catton’s chaos, you and farleigh found peace in each other. slowly, he even opened up a little to you. he talked about his mom, claiming that he was scared that if he left england, he would never get an ounce of money again. you pitied him truthfully. however, he was also incredibly smart, he just never bothered to show it.

farleigh also loved literature, he would roll his eyes at you whenever you’d call him a nerd but he enjoyed classics, drama, mysteries, romance, almost everything and anything. you would think that him living a chaotic, party filled lifestyle meant that he never had any time to pick up on any other hobbies or interests, but he did. he learned french and was surprisingly good at it, he didn’t speak it fluently—but he knew enough to hold up a conversation with someone random.

you sit in your window nook, closing your book and placing down on the cushion, staring out of the cracked window as you ash your cigarette out of the open panes. it’s mid september, the weather was slightly cool, but the humidity from the light rain earlier had made it slightly warmer. you raise your fingers to you mouth, dragging out the smoke from your cigarette. you lean your head back against the wall, closing your eyes as you breathe in the air around you. suddenly, you’re awoken by a knock on your door. “come in!” you call out as a head of curls poke through the door. farleigh smiles before closing the door behind him and walking over to you. he’s wearing a dark navy ralph lauren cable knit sweater (very fitting for him) and black trousers. he looked like he just got back home from something. “having your main character moment, i see?” he teases as he sits down across from you in the nook. you roll your eyes, softly shaking your head with a laugh. he grins, looking down at the book in your lap.

farleigh reaches over, grabbing it before reading the title outloud. “one hundred years of solitude,” he repeats. “how are you just now reading this?” you snatch the book out of his hand before placing it back down next to you. “oh, i’m sorry i’m not a nerd like you.” you reply mockingly. farleigh gives you a deadpan expression before cocking his head to the side, staring at you with low eyes. he readjusts himself in the cushion, scooting closer to the where his legs were touching yours. “venetia won’t be able to shut up when you leave.” he mutters. you turn, smiling weakly. you’ll miss her too, you’ll miss everyone when you’re gone. the two of you sit in silence for a minute, soaking in the beautiful shift in colors within the sky. you pull a cigarette out of its box next to you, offering it to him. he stares at you, almost like he was hesitating to take it or not. of course, he couldn’t decline so he swiftly took it out of your fingers.

you grab your lighter and ignite the flame by his lips. he immediately groans quietly, a wave of relief glowing across his face. “where were you all day?” you ask. “you just disappeared during brunch.” farleigh blows a thin line of smoke out of his mouth, shrugging. “the pub.” he looks over your empty room, biting down on his bottom lip. you used to have so many posters and polaroids littered across your walls, but you had already packed all of your stuff—leaving the room blank. “god, it’s so boring in here now.” he says. his breath suddenly hitches when he sees your suitcase in the corner of the room, packed and ready for your leave. you notice this and reach over to touch his shoulder.

in an attempt to lighten the mood, you rub at his arm. “aw, you gonna miss me, far?” you ask with an exaggerated sad face. farleigh scoffs, chuckling softly at your expression. “mmm, don’t get ahead of yourself.” you giggle, turning your head to look at the sky above you. you had made so many memories here, so many friends you wouldn’t be able to replace back in the states. a part of you wished you could stay in england, but another part of you missed your home. “do you remember the first time we met?” farleigh breaks the silence suddenly. you glance over at him, raising a brow. “it was at felix’s acceptance party. you showed up wearing a bold silver sequin skirt, very bold.” you cringe as you recall your odd fashion choices in your first year at oxford.

“oh god, don’t remind me.” you cry out as you pinch your nose bridge with a defeated sigh. farleigh laughs, exhaling the smoke out of the window. “truly … it was definitely the talk of the night.” he adds on to make you wince further. you raise a hand, waving it in front of him, hoping he’d stop talking. “but—i liked your outfit that night. i thought that you had to be interesting if you were wearing that.”

“really?” you ask. he nods, a smirk dancing on his lips. you sit up, leaning closer to him. you stare up at farleigh through your lashes, cocking your head to the side. “and was i interesting?”

farleigh seems to get a rise out of this sudden confidence from you. he leans down closer as well, just inches away from your face. “mhm,” he hums as he raises his cigarette back up to his mouth. you can’t help but stare at his pink lips as he takes a long drag. the two of you exchange quiet glances, a thick tension rising in the air. “whatever shall i do without you?” he teases as he leans back on his palm. “well, i’m not leaving until tomorrow morning.” you glance over at the grand clock in the corner of the room before turning back to meet farleigh’s gaze. “—we still have a couple more hours together.”

“yea? it’s not enough.” he muttered the last part quietly, but loud enough for you to dicipher. farleigh looked so soft under the sunset, the rays of pink light illuminating his face perfectly. your stomach suddenly flips, a wave of heat spreading to your face. he looked almost angelic in a way. you never thought about your right dynamic with farleigh. others around you would often say you and farleigh were close, maybe a little too close. you liked sitting in his lap and he liked holding you, not like it was im a sexual manner, you just genuinely enjoyed his touch. it was purely platonic to you from the start. but as you spent more time with him, you realized his demeanor would get you a nervous mess at times.

you thought you didn’t like farleigh, but the fuzzy feeling that would overtake you would make you squirm under his stare. it made you feel like you were twelve again with your first crush. “maybe we could just spend the next few hours talking.” farleigh says. you blink, examining in his soft features. the longer you stared, the more you’d notice certain aspects of him face you never acknowledged before—like how he had very faint fading freckles in the summer, or that one curl that would fall on his forehead perfectly. you nod in response to his suggestion before leaning back to your original position. for the next two hours, you and farleigh just sit there, rambling on about everything you could think of. your conversation ranged from shit talking to philosophy, then to the planets orbiting around us. you talked so long to the point where the sun started to set, slowly dipping below the horizon with a burst of pinks and oranges. you grab at his arm, gasping quietly as you gaze up at the sky. “look!” you point out. he raises a brow, glancing back and forth between you and the sunset. “what?”

“the sky!” you say in an obvious tone. “happens everyday, nothing new.” he says nonchalantly as he releases himself from your grip, resting his head against the window. you groan, smacking his arm with the back of your hand. “okay, well it’s my last sunset in england.” you turn your body fully so it’s facing the window, legs crossed underneath you as you put out your cigarette. you feel the cushions slowly sink when farleigh scoots closer. he places his head on your shoulder, sighing quietly. “m’gonna miss you.” his voice is low, rough but smooth at the same time. you tilt your head to look at him, giggling at his sudden honesty. “i’m serious,” farleigh picks his head back up from your shoulder, tracing his thumb along your jaw.

his eyes flicker back and forth from your eyes to your lips, his face show a look of contemplation. for a moment, you wish he would come back to america with you. the thought of him living with you didn’t bother you. in fact, it sounded perfect. he was a genuine person—and yes, he was a bitch but he was truthful and sweet when he wanted to be. “i wish i could stay longer.” you whisper. farleigh trails his thumb up to your bottom lip, tilting closer to you. “you could,” he says. you laugh awkwardly, “i’m sure the catton’s are sick of me though.”

“i’m not.”

you stare up at him, his dark eyes boring into yours. he looks so vulnerable right now, so calm and content. it was a rare occurrence if you saw farleigh not gushing out insults left and right. his voice made you shiver, goosebumps lining your skin with each syllable that left his pretty mouth. “i—i don’t want you to go.” farleigh stutters out with a soft sigh in a way that sounded like it was ashamed of admitting it. before you could respond, his lips crash onto yours. his pace is frantic at first then it softens, kisses delicate and slow. farleigh’s hand on your jaw trails around to the back of your head to deepen the kiss. you wrap your arms around his neck instinctively, pulling him close to your body. you could feel his warmth radiating off of yours, it was so sudden. you never expected to be making out with the farleigh start. there’s so many things running through your mind, but they all vanish into clouds as you melt against his soft lips. your stomach flutters rapidly, a slight buzz rising to your head. he grins into the kiss, a shitfaced grin at that. farleigh slips his tongue in your mouth, the subtle taste of liquor on him.

“far—” you whimper through labored breathing. he slows, pulling away from the kiss as he rests his forehead against yours. his hand falters from the back of your head to your neck. “fuck, you don’t understand what you do to me.” you crane up, looking at him with doe eyes. “please stay. just for a little while.” he begs, brows furrowed with worry as he laces his fingers into yours. you swallow, glancing over at the packed suitcase on the floor. you peer back up at farleigh, a small smile tugging on your lips. “please.” he repeats.

“okay,” you breathe out, “i’ll stay for a little longer.”

© please do not publish my work on other sites.

[firemenenthusiast]

hi hi! I wanna say I love your writing and love that you’re on the Archie train rn - I do have a lil request so I know most people think Farleigh is like submissive but I would love one where he’s like super dominant and for smut he’s like basically leaves you crying from overstimulation and makes you come a lot but like in a fun way not necessarily toxic (which isn’t bad either but yeah) (((: idk I feel like he’s a switch and could be both dominant and submissive

oh my god dom!farleigh finally out ! thank you so so SO very much anon for being so patient with me and i am incredibly sorry for making you wait this long :’(

—“casual”

dom!farleigh x fem!reader

summary: there’s a reason why you should never talk about farleigh behind his back

warning: 18+, smut, pwp, unprotected sex, rough sex (dom!farleigh), brat tamer! farleigh, free use, degradation kink, farleigh and reader sounds like fuckbuddies, cunnilingus, slapping, name calling (slut & whore) (sorry) (not sorry), praise kink, petnames (baby, sweetheart & doll) oral fixation, face-fucking, mirror sex, cock-slapping, spitting, making out, overstimulation, blowjobs, dacryphilia, throat fucking, mating press, teabagging, facial, cum eating, creampie, cervix fucking, ruined orgasm, foul language, humiliation, aftercare, fluff at the end

a/n: i really hope this is okay with what you’ve imagined anon, as writing dom!farleigh is by far my hardest work yet. literally pondered on this piece for months. enjoy ! teehee <3 also keep reading, it gets better

“can you believe it ? like— im not even asking for much but he’s just so, ugh” the girl sitting over at the end of the couch complains. you’re sitting in a circle, well not quite a circle, but it’s a bunch of girls just lounging, sitting and talking about what’s currently bothering them. and this time, the topic is boyfriends. cliché, but they can really be a pain in the ass according to these girls. you’re not sure if you can relate, given that you do not have a boyfriend. but you do have farleigh, whatever you’re calling him. he’s never bothered to put a label on it, and certainly never bothered to ask you to be his girlfriend. “oh my god yes” you hear one of the girls agreeing, followed by the others nodding and grabbing at each others thighs

“what about you ? i mean, we certainly heard a lot about farleigh” one of the girls asks you, snickering at the end of her sentence. everyone around campus is familiar with how farleigh’s relationships never end peacefully. they always end with a series of drama that apparently everyone is tuned in on. it’s like a ‘what did farleigh do this time ?’ show, that airs every couple of months. the common hall massacre from farleigh’s last hook up is still being talked about till this day and it’s been like what, six months ? you don’t know why even after seeing those messy events where farleigh always looked like he couldn’t care less, you still ended up in his bed at the end of the very party where he first laid his eyes on you. i guess when thee farleigh start shows you even the slightest of interest, you have no other option but to give in. it’s like a once in a lifetime opportunity, and one must be strong enough to resist the temptation of getting with the tall, golden skinned brunette. you— ? you just don’t have it in you.

pursing your lips, you quietly force an awkward smile to yourself, practically eye rolling. ofcourse they would be interested. you shut your eyes for a moment before blinking to every eyes focusing on you. truth be told, you dont like talking about farleigh to people, especially to answer invasive questions like this. you already feel so insecure with whatever kind of relationship you have with farleigh, so having people try to peek into it puts you in a very uncomfortable position. “what about him ?” you raise your eyebrows with your question-response in a desperate attempt to push farleigh off the topic. “girl how’s your boyfriend ? is he great or…” one of the girls tease, flipping her hair over her shoulder, trying her best to provoke an answer from you, preferrably a piece of gossip that she could spread to her girlfriends at uni.

“he’s not my boyfriend” you let out quietly, head low, correcting their assumptions that it’s an established relationship, earning a swarm of mutter from throughout the group. some of them already exhanging knowing looks and giggling to each other. well isn’t this just humiliating. “how come ?” the blonde serves you with yet another question, tone obvious that she’s just mongering for gossip. the sudden light dust prickling at your eyeballs are being wiped away by a heavy blink from you. all these questions evoke a sudden rage from within. she’s right. yeah, how come ? how come you’ve been letting farleigh fuck you anytime he wants when he doesn’t ever bother to make you his girlfriend. you’ve realised a long ago that it’s unlikely that you’re gonna be a couple but everyone seems to think the two of you are exclusive by the way none of you have been caught fucking anyone else.

noticing your expression, she decides to spare you the humiliation and just move on to her next question even though the former hasn’t been answered. the situation is making you awfully quiet, and it’s not just because you barely knew any of these girls, you just thought sitting with them in this mild get-together at farleigh’s mansion might offer you some sort of entertainment. never have you thought that you’re the one who’s gonna be the entertainment. the thick buzz at the top of your head confuses you between the exhaustion of talking to obnoxious young adults invited tonight or the weariness of knowing that you’re just a toy to farleigh. at first you didn’t really care, but after a while the boy’s starting to grow on you. sometimes he does care, the way he always walk you back to your dorm after a long night of doing your activities. but most of the times you tell yourself that it’s just common courtesy, and he could be doing that to any girl he wants.

“ah fuck that, how’s the sex ?” was her other question, which was followed by daunting whoops of teasings from the girls. still, every pair of eyes is set on you and it’s gotta be on the top list of your most uncomfortable situation. however the unusual bitterness towards farleigh at the moment gags your desire to shit talk about him to these girls. as you search for something bad to say, you realise that you don’t have anything to complain. guess you’d just have to lie then. straightening your shoulders and throwing your neck back, you lean your back on your propped up arms against the floor.

“have you ever heard that he’s good in bed from anyone ?” you start, which earns eager head shakes from the girls.

“well that’s because he fucking sucks. cums too fast, and guess what ? you’d think he’d atleast bother to make the girl-“ you gesture to yourself, “-cum first, but that’s none of his business it seems” the small piece of information being sought out to the public like that leaves the girls wide-eyed, with some of them dramatically placing their palms against their chest. you feel horrible for lying, and it just registered in your head that this will go terribly wrong knowing that it’ll spread around like an infection. “oh my god. really ?” the blonde attempts to fuel to the fire mid-burning the whole place down, her blue eyes almost popping out of her head, gouging for more info from you.

nodding, you catch yourself feeding her with yet another lie. “fucking sloppy, is what he is. moans like a bitch too. i should’ve been fucking his cousin by now, which, i don’t even know why i haven’t” the last part of this whole unbased shit talk feels too much for you, as you mentally wince at how untrue just all the things you said. the whole room is filled with various sounds of gasping, giggling and overall indefinable mutters. if you were being honest, you’re still not going to tell them how you’re willing to beg for his cock, telling him to make you his cum dump, as long as you get to be fucked by him. you raise your head to examine each of their faces, subtly biting on your bottom lips at their reactions.

it was a small get-together afterall, so you wouldn’t be suprised that some of the hallways in the house are ominously empty at this hour. you could still hear a distinct chatter and music from behind the other walls but as you briskly walk towards the left wing of the mansion, your wrist is suddenly being grabbed from behind, before your whole body is being caged against the wooden wainscot on the wall, pair of huge palms snaking themselves across your forearms. “farleigh—“ you huff out, neck craned to give access to the pair of lips trailing hot, wet kisses across your skin. the tall figure caging and pressing against your body is making you whimper out a small moan, to which he lets out a chuckle. you always make it so easy for him.

wrapping his fingers around your wrist in a firm grab, he brings them above your head before moving his lips towards your soft ones, a string of saliva shining on the flesh with each breath the both of you are taking. his touches grazes your skin delicately, dragging you into becoming an addict. you suck in a deep breath through your nose as you return the kiss, tongue darting to lick on his bottom ones, earning a smile from him. “i’ve missed you” he teases, while running his fingertips along your waistband, knowing the two of you only parted ways when his friendgroup approached him, which later lead you to the wrongful confessions with the girls earlier. words like these makes you long for his affection, spending your sleepless nights thinking about the feelings you may or may not have caught for him. he huffs out against your face, forehead resting against each other as you feel his hot breath on your skin. he leans down to chase your lips for yet another kiss, your noses nudging against each other only for him to hover over your lips with a teasing grin, making you grow desperate from the phantom kiss.

his large hands rest on the curve of your waist when you push him back by his broad chest, both your fingers sprawled over the fabric of his linen. he’s ridiculously good at maintaining his balance all while being pushed back with his head leaning down, still kissing you, his pretty curls grazing the skin on your cheeks. he’s so pretty, the type of pretty that makes you want to look at him all day, the type of pretty that you’d fall for. the way he kisses you could make anyone believe that he’s in love, yet he never cared to let you know, or tell you that this is just a fling for him. you already know where this is going, as you were on your way to find him in his room anyways. you let out a small giggle when he almost toppled back over a bump on the carpet, before he joins you with a low chuckle against your lips.

“c’mon, farleigh—“ whining, you’re half begging for him to just pick you up and carry you to his bed, which, like he could read you mind, he does. “i know, baby”. you’re clinging onto him with your legs wrapped around his waist, your hands cupping his face to deepen the kiss as you feel the growing bulge poking at your thighs. humming into the kiss, he pulls away momentarily to lean you against the wooden door of his room, turning the both of you to hold you against the door, forcing it to shut, all while his tongue licks your taste off yours.

you could feel his desperation grow from his kiss as your fingers work eagerly unbuttoning his shirt. he fumbles with the back of your dress, reaching to undo the string, heavy pants escaping both your lips, practically clawing at each other. after peeling the linen off his shoulder and pulling it down to throw it on the floor, you watch him move recklessly. “fucking get this off” he groans, as you reach to the back to help him. everything is moving so fast, and you glad it does as it seems to be impossible to remain patient with each of farleigh’s touch against your skin. it’s like a craving, an addiction, as desperation fills the thick air inside the room more then the hot breath puffing from your lips.

as soon as you’re left only with the matching set of underwear, farleigh wastes no time picking you back up to throw you on the bed, his body flush against yours as his kisses down your body are starting to get wet. between his fingers raking around your waist and his mouth sucking on the skin of your collarbone leaving wet bruises all across it, you feel yourself getting lost in the haziness, unable to mutter a single coherent sentence. all that could be let out past your lips are whines and moans, as your fingertips graze against his scalp, pulling at the root of his curls. you feel helpless, exposed and needy for him and only him, to do something. once you feel his lips kissing dangerously close to your cunt, sucking and licking especially hard on the flesh of your inner thighs, you find yourself reaching for his face. “farleigh please,,” you let out pleas after pleas, begging for his lips to be where you need him the most. paying no mind to you, he continues placing his marks across your inner thigh and the spot closest to the hem of your panties with his palms smoothing over the skin on your torso.

he’s humming in between kisses, his eyes rips themselves from focusing on marking your skin to look directly into yours, maintaining eye contact. if it wasn’t for the growing bulge in his pants, he’d be willing to spend the rest of his time just looking into your eyes. tilting his head down, he pushes the crotch of your panties to the side, breaking eye contact for a moment to look at the dripping mess in front of him, grinning at how soaked your folds are, making your eyebrows knit. the way your pussy glisten with your wetness gotta be one of his favourite views ever. feeling the ache down your core starts to throb, you can’t help the pitchy moan slipping past your lips and the sudden bucking of your hips into his face. “don’t make me beg farleigh, please” the words coming out of your mouth contradicting each other. before you could add to your complaints, you feel his swollen lips smashing against your folds, his tongue hot, licking away all the wetness collecting and dripping towards your hole. he has one hand holding you down by your waist, and another rubbing on your pussy, spreading the folds apart so his tongue could have better access. the fingers on your pussy roam down to your hole, pushing your clit upwards so he could settle his whole face in between your thighs, his nose repeatedly nudging against your clit. driving his face into your pussy, it’s like he’s stuffing his face with your essence, eager to lick away every drop of wetness dripping down your folds as he feels like nothing tastes better. he hums, sending vibrations through the sensitive nerves, fishing out another whine from you.

“gonna cum, farleigh. please make me cum” the words come out of your mouth like water, without you even having time to think it before. as the knot in your lower stomach begins to get tighter with each sucking of his lips on your folds, he knows you’re seconds away from cumming. you could feel the wave of pleasure threatening to wash down over you, as you’re willing to give up everything to chase after it, even your dignity. shutting your eyes, your fingers harshly grab at the sheets beneath you, as farleigh suddenly rips his mouth away from your pussy, moving over to stand at the edge of the bed, his eyes busy eyeing his hands that are unbuckling his belt. “what the fuck—?!” you almost yelled, anger and dissatisfaction tearing through your voice as you look at farleigh in disbelief. the orgasm that you were chasing is washing away, leaving your pussy feeling so raw and swollen.

he throws you an unbothered look with an eyebrow quirked, his lips shiny from eating you out. “sorry, apparently i’m just not bothered to let the girl cum first” the coy expression on his face obvious, the slight curl at the side of his lips quickly being stripped away. “—isn’t that right ?” he continues, leaning over with his knee dipping into the mattress, his propped arm settling beside your temple, his face inches away from your muted one. the furrowed eyebrows that were accompanying your anger dropped down, as your glossy eyes now being forced to look into his intimidating ones. you could feel that he’s not happy, but none of his expressions tell that, except that you’re fucked.

you hear him let out a chuckle as he leans back, both his knees on either side of your body, resting his weight on your torso. “you should see the look on your face sweetheart” he tsks, shaking his head at you heavy breathing, still affected by the orgasm that he just ripped off from your core. no words could be lolled out of your tongue and you could only shake your head as an attempt to save yourself. he cocks his head to the side before his eyes widen,

“no, i mean it”

moving his knee over your body, farleigh moves to the side of the bed before reaching over to cup the back of your neck, pulling you up to push you off the bed by your neck, forcing you to sit infront of the body sized mirror by his nightstand. you’re kneeling, your hands are forced to prop yourself up from face planting on the hard floor, ass is sticking out on full display giving him the perfect view. oh how he loves when you’re exposed like this for him and no one else.

before you could even react to being pulled off the bed, his fingers already curl themselves across your skin, wrapped around your neck, pulling you upstraight so you could only look at your reflection in the mirror, and his smug face while he crouches down. “look at yourself, such a pretty face-“ he starts, fingers moving to push your cheeks together, his arms pressing down your chest so you’re resting against his shoulder.

“-but so. fucking. dumb.” he says, tapping roughly on your cheek after each words.

the last part of his sentence heavy, emphasizing on how stupid you are that you couldn’t even think before going off telling people such lies. “you know what i love to do with a pretty face that doesn’t know when to shut up ?” he trails off, letting go off your face to continue unbuckling his belt, the metal of the buckle clinking, before unbuttoning and pulling the zipper down.

“as if you know when to shut up” you spit out, trying to retaliate against his words.

he offers you an amused look before shaking his head and smile. “i love when you prove me right“ farleigh chuckles as he looks up to meet your eyes in the mirror, before pulling down his pants, along with his boxers, making his now fully hard length that was straining in his pants spring up, hitting the trail of hair on his lower belly. no matter how many times you’ve seen and been fucked by him, you still think he’s huge. he’s perfectly girthy, his tip always flushes a deep shade of pink and his cock’s just as pretty as him.

he steps closer towards you, reaching down to gather your hair in a makeshift ponytail before pulling you up, forcing you to stand on your knees. he looks at you with that grin you could never crack the meaning of, as you watch his other hand move to grab the base of his cock. his firm grip pulling at your scalp leaves you quiet, as you could only glance between his face, and the leaking cock in his hand. with your head in his one hand and his heavy length in the other, your eyes are on the same level of his waist where you could hear the loud sound of him spitting into his hand, as it lands on his length. the lewd, loud squelching sound of him stroking saliva all over his cock right beside your face makes you clench around nothing

sighing, he pulls your face towards his crotch before starting to slap his hard cock against your cheek. you’re starting to feel degraded to a mere sextoy with the way he’s smearing his cock all over your face, the sensitive tip tapping at your swollen lips. his long digits wrapped around the base serves a great purpose of aiming his slick length so it slaps heavy against your face, bouncing against the skin again and again, omitting loud slapping sounds. “i don’t even know what i’ve ever done to you-“ he starts, tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

“-but you don’t talk about me that way, baby”

he stops the slapping of his cock to wipe it all over your face instead, repeatedly moving his shaft over your nose as it makes him groan in pleasure. your pretty face is covered with the slick of saliva and precum, you hair a mess and sticking all over your face. as soon as he finishes his sentence, your entire reflection on the mirror is being blocked by his legs stepping in front of you, so he could roughly shove his hard cock past your lips, pushing it down your throat. the sudden pressure at the back of your tongue makes you gag, as tears start forming on your waterline. you’re starting to regret the things you said just for the one minute of validation. farleigh has never done anything like this to you, but you know this is not going to end anytime soon.

“shh…shh- it’s okay, im just gonna fuck this mouth slow and nice. is that good ?” he coos, his hips begins thrusting into your mouth, starting nice and slow before quickly changing to a rapid pace in a split second, not allowing you to adjust at all. he’s now properly fucking your mouth, and if you didn’t already feel like a cocksleeve, you certainly do now.

“there you go, you’ve always been so good at sucking my cock. you’re a proper slut you know that ?” he mutters through gritted teeth, both his large hands cradling your head, slamming your face down his cock, heavy balls slapping against your slicked chin from all the drool dripping down your lips. looking up at him, you try to blink away the glossiness of your eyes as you give him an obeying look, seeking for his approval. “oh that’s cute, you’re my little slut aren’t you ?” the whiny moans you’re letting out sends vibrations, further stimulating his cock. “aww mouth too full of cock you can’t even answer” giving you a fake pout on his lips, he pulls out for a moment to let you answer, yet you’re keeping your mouth shut. “i said-“ he yanks your hair as he leans down close to your face, “-you’re my little slut aren’t you ?” you almost topple back before nodding vigorously,

“yes, yes—“

“yes what ?”

“yes i am, farleigh”

your quick response earns a satisfied grin from him before your mouth is back to being stuffed by his hard cock. you try your best not to gag too hard on his length as you know farleigh wouldn’t appreciate that. even with him treating you like you’re worthless, you’re still eager to please him. maybe you are indeed a slut. his slut.

the rapid movements of your head bobbing down his shaft and his hips thrusting into your mouth makes your hands roam up his thighs for leverage, as you look up at him through your lashes. he thinks you look so cute like this, so he offers you a smile from above, the tip of your nose hitting into his lower belly repeatedly. you could feel his thrust getting even faster before one last throw of his head and he’s pushing your mouth off his cock, messy strings of saliva connecting from your lips to his swollen tip, his balls dripping with sticky translucent substance that you couldn’t even tell. could be drool, or precum, or a mixture of both of your fluids. his cock is now resting against his navel, as it bounces with every move farleigh makes. he’s now pulling you up by your arms, the state of you so pathetic that if it were to be described, you’re nothing short of fucked and cockdrunk.

“c’mon sweetheart, hands and knees. need to fuck your pussy” his instructions loud and clear, as your body is being thrown like a doll onto the mattress. and like it’s instinct you immediately crawl onto the bed and prop your ass up, your legs apart, back arching with your face dropped down between the sheets. “i know you’re a good girl” he smiles, hands roaming across the smooth skin of your ass before swiftly pulling down your panties, revealing your soaking wet puffy lips, practically begging to be fucked. “well that’s a sight felix is certainly missing out on” the sight before him makes his cock twitch, a drop of precum forming at the tip before he catches it in his fingers to spread it along his length. getting onto the mattress, his pants already discarded and pooling beside the bed.

he crawls over you to rub his length against your folds, collecting the wetness that’s practically drenching his cock, before thrusting into your hole without warning. a cracked loud moan from your lips grazes both your ears as you give up against the sheets, your sobs being muffled by the soft fabric underneath you. he’s not in the mood of making you feel good as he’s only focused on fucking the dumb out of you and letting his anger out. he’s making you take his cock like a good girl he knows you are, as you struggle to adjust to the stretch of his size. he’s angry, well more like irritated, when he walked by the living room looking for you, only to hear you talking shit about him, and telling pathetic lies with no substance. there hasn’t been one fuck where farleigh doesn’t make you cum first, and he certainly fucks you like nobody else. so when you went off feeding those plastic blondes fake gossip just to appeal to them, of course he’s mad.

his large chest is now pushing down against your back, his large hand found it’s way at the back of your neck, holding your head down that your face is being mushed against the sheets. his harsh thrusts push your body back and forth, your face pressed down so hard to the point that the only sound you could let out are heavy cries and sobs, incoherent mumbles of pleads of his name as you’re being brought to your orgasm while he’s still rapidly fucking into you. “farleigh— mngh,, ohmygod“ in a way you sound like you’re worshipping him, while he’s ball deep inside your cunt, the tip of his cock bruising your cervix.

normally he would help you chase your high down but he doesn’t care. “i’ve never made you cum huh ? you can cum all you want now baby” his words are starting to get to you, as your pussy’s starting to feel so raw. another wave of orgasm come crashing down, leaving you a lightheaded babbling mess. you’re now actually crying for him, tears streaming down your face, shoulders bobbing, as both tears and drool wet the sheets underneath. “no more,, please. s’too much” you manage to let out weakly, your fingers gripping at the poor fabric desperately. suddenly you feel like he’s grown much larger than he usually does.

looking at your fucked up state, he let out a chuckle. “but i thought you wanted this ?” he mocks, he knows that you’re just too fucked up to even make up your mind. you feel so stretched out by his girth, and the position grants him the perfect access to fully fuck his cock into your pussy, thrusting forward in a rough rapid pace into the mattress. “you think felix could fuck you like this ?” he groans, making you shake your head desperately almost like you’re being hypnotised. “n-no,,no- hm“ you let out in response, your voice bumpy from his thrusts that are making your whole body shake. the whole situation is feeding the primal urge in him, as he grunts while biting down the skin at the back of your neck, his hand grabbing at your hair, pulling your head back to lift your face off the drool-drenched sheets. his other hand is holding you close by your stomach, lowering his hand to feel the moving bulge on your lower belly.

“feel that ? that’s my cock- so… fucking deep inside you. so maybe next time you wanna talk shit, fuck-“ he half whispers into your ear through gritted teeth, as his thrusts are starting to falter. both your hot cheeks are being pressed together as he talks right into your ear. “-remember how pathetic you look right now” he finishes off his sentence with one hard thrust, his hot body pressing down against yours before warm sticky substance fills up your hole, drops of it threatening to spill from the brim. you feel his chest resting on your back, he’s catching his breath as he pants into your ear with his hand wrapped around your neck.

“oh fuck,,” he lets out, voice thick with his remaining pants as he watch the cum oozing out of your cunt when he pull his softening cock out. he’s leaning back on his heels, admiring his work, ropes of white leaking down your puffy swollen lips, a low groan escapes his lips when he notices your hole clenching around nothing, pushing out more of his cum. smiling, he reaches over to squeeze your thigh, grabbing at the soft flesh. “such a filthy whore, letting me use this pussy like a toy” he lets out, his words making you feel so dirty. “aren’t you, baby ?” he coos, running his fingers across your chin. letting out a huge content sigh before hearing you mumble out a string out words. “what’s that, hm ?” leaning down, he moves closer to your lolled out face to hear you.

“you came too quick” you struggled to let out those words, yet still determined to try and piss him off.

raising his eyebrows, he seems surprised by your little protest before you feel his fingers slowly smooth over your hair, petting your head.

“i know. and that’s your job to get me hard again”

hearing his words, instant remorse washing over you as you feel him flip you over, that you’re now lying on your back, facing him. he looks even bigger, shoulders broad and glistening in sweat, making you feel like he could cage you in any moment now. his cheeks look flushed and red, his lips pink and swollen yet he never looked prettier. your hands immediately move up to hold onto his thighs, now being on either side of your upper body as his cock is hanging right in front of your face. the remainder of his cum that is clinging onto his tip drips down, landing onto your lips before his fingers push your cheeks open, shoving his cock into your mouth as he tries to fit the whole length inside.

his limp cock feels odd on your tongue at first, but you immediately start sucking on his length. “come on, doll” he urges you, eager to be able to fuck you again. you mentally flinch at the name he’s calling you, as it really makes you feel filthy. deep down you absolutely love filling your mouth full, and sucking on his cock. anything to please farleigh. he’s thrusting his hips down to your face, circling it so now it’s his balls turn to be shoved into your mouth, before being absolutely slobbered with saliva. in no time he’s getting hard again, making it easier for him to fuck into your mouth, only to pull it out and replace it with his balls again, and doing so repeatedly until he feels just. you have your eyes closed, your lips busy fondling and kissing at each of his sack, your tongue covering them with drool.

farleigh is holding onto the headboard, grunts spilling from his mouth from how good you’re worshipping his cock. as he tilt his head down, he can’t help the moan slipping past his lips at you sucking at the underside of his balls. now that he’s fully hard again, he reaches down to grab at the base of his shaft before putting the entire heavy weight of it onto your face, rubbing his length all over your soft skin, like he did earlier.

too weak to form coherent sentences to him, you manage to drag out a mumbled “please…farleigh”. you hear him let out a satisfied hum as you close your eyes, letting the feeling of his wet cock sliding on your face takes control. the length of his cock almost covering your face as he’s contemplating just fucking his cock against the skin of your face into nothing. everything’s just so wet now, his sweaty body against yours, your face warm and sticky with sweat, tears and his cum, with his balls dripping with your drool. you’re too cockdrunk to even protest, letting him use you like a cum rag, wiping the cum off his cock on your skin, your pussy throbbing from another orgasm you just had undone just from how lewd this is.

“you make such a good whore, y’know ? im gonna need to fuck your pussy again” almost immediately after saying that, he’s lifting your upper body up, making you sit while he moves behind you to let your frail body rest against his. “let me have one last fuck okay ?” he whispers into your ear, your eyelids heavy as you slowly nod. his fingers tap at your thigh, signalling you to raise your hips. he has one arm wrapped around you, pulling you up onto his lap as you feel the tip of his hard cock slip back into your cunt with the guide of his other hand. you’re now sitting on his lap, legs bent and all spread out to give access to him. he could feel the stickiness of his cum left inside you engulfing his length, that is reaching deeper, bumping into your cervix. ”fuck, could feel my cum inside you—” the stretch of his cock against your wall is squeezing his cum back out of your hole as low moans escape both of your lips. he begins thrusting at a continued pace, much like before, making your body bounce on his lap. you let out a high pitched moan, your folds still swollen as you mumble out “m’too much farleigh- no more,, please” he ignores your whines and moans, fucking up into you like he’s been starved of it.

he reaches up to grope your tits, that have fallen out of your bra when he was ramming into you earlier. this is the first time tonight that farleigh’s even bothered to touch your nipples as he normally would’ve been too attached to sucking on your mounds by now. the lack of attention to your hard nipples got them too sensitive as you feel like screaming when farleigh tweaks one of them in between his fingers. he’s cupping one of your tits in his large hand while the other one bounces hard with each of his rapid thrusts up your sensitive walls. the sound of your ass slapping against his thighs fills the room as you start to feel your maybe 5th orgasm coming, having lost count- as his thrusts suddenly stop. “nooo,, no- please don’t make me” you start whining at the sudden stop of his movements, shaking your head helplessly to try to get him to change his mind. you know this move so well, he always make you do it when you’re on his lap.

he’s gonna make you fuck yourself on his cock.

“you know the drill pretty girl” his voice firm, not leaving any space for your antics. your head resting against his shoulder feels too heavy to be lifted off, but that’s just you being a brat. you show no signs of moving, with your arms flailing weakly in his embrace. you hear him let out a sigh before being followed by a low groan, lifting you off his lap and flipping you over. you’re now sprawled open in front of him, cold air grazing across your pussy makes you shiver. he pushes his weight down against your thighs with his hands, putting you in a mating press. all you got to do was let out a gasp before a harsh slap from his large hand stings across your face. “i gave you plenty of chances-” he lets out as you feel another slap lands on your cheek

“-but you never seem to appreciate them”

another slap. and another.

you’re moaning, enjoying being treated so harshly by him. as your tears stained cheeks turn red and a new stream of tears are threatening to spill, you try begging for mercy with a weak attempt, “mmh- please, farleigh,,”. your final whiny plea is immediately being cut short by another slap, this one stings especially hard, making you think that he hates you. he’s now grabbing at the flesh at the back of your thighs, fully pressing your thighs against your tits, before his hips start thrusting into your pussy again. wet, squelching sound bouncing off the walls as your wetness start splattering all over the sheets. the shame and humiliation makes you start sobbing again, your breathing heavy as you struggle to take his cock that’s protruding against your walls.

he notices your heavy breathing, yet he has no intentions of slowing down. “you’re breathing like you’re doing all the work, fuck— “ you hear him say. his thrusts after doesn’t last long before he immediately pulls out, his hand quickly reaching down to continue the pressure on his cock. “oh fuck. fuck, fuck—“, strings of curses leave his mouth. stroking his shaft with a tight fist, his pace rapid, desperate and sloppy before his hips begin to fuck into his fist, his balls slapping against his knuckles. “fffuck, fuck yes-” staggering moans spill out of his mouth, making him look pathetic. his voice almost cracks before he’s moving up your body, his hand still pumping his cock rapidly before he’s cumming, spurting warm seed all over your pretty face. it’s not as much as before, but your face’s still covered by his cum, your tongue licking away the drops landing on your lips. you hear him let out a deep sigh, heavy panting before collapsing onto your body.

inspecting his actions closely, your mind still hazy, your face messy with tear stained cheeks, with some still clinging onto your lashes. farleigh had wiped the remnants of his cum off your face, it was the first thing he did after coming back with a bowl of warm fresh water and a piece of cloth. he’s already dressed in his comfy clothes, carefully cleaning your skin with the warm soft cloth. he’s meticulous, like he always is with everything. you look to the side to see a glass of water and a mini chocolate bar that he’d fetched when he left the room which to be honest, you thought he was gonna leave you, all alone and still fragile. looking out the window, the sky’s already starting to gain its light as it’s starting to look a lighter shade of blue. he’s quiet, eyes focused as only his fingers are moving carefully, cleaning off every inch of your body. just as he makes sure you’re all clean and comfortable, you’re surprised when he crawls up closely beside you, snuggling down as he reaches for the soft comforter to wrap the both of you underneath it.

“i thought you were gonna leave”

“not gonna leave my girlfriend alone”

the name hits you like a boulder making you perk up, eyebrows knitted as you realised that you were never his girlfriend. you turn to face him who’s already near dozing off,

“please go to sleep” he mutters out his last words before dozing off for real, pulling you closer into his arms.

taglist: @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @farleighlover @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @inglourious-imagines

dividers by: @rookthornesartistry

[discopaddock]

ARE THEY FRIENDS?? WORSE...

PAIRING: farleigh start x male!reader

SUMMARY: what can go wrong when they both hate the same person?

WORD COUNT: 385

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: drugs, mentions of fights (nothing graphic)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: based on this request

The very first thing you could say about Y/N and Farleigh was that they were complete opposites. But if you would take a closer look you’d see that they weren't as big as you thought before.

Okay, so at first let me say that they boys hated each other at the beginning. Parties? Y/N could smash Farleigh’s face for one sentence he said (of course he has never done that, but he has had a crazy amount of thoughts like this). And Farleigh? He was craving to do the same just for his presentence in the same room as he was.

School yard? Yeah none of them was around the other one because they could end up being out of the school.

What was the reason for this? I honestly have no idea. Maybe it was that one guy that both of them wanted to fuck, but he didn't want any of them. Maybe it was the fact that Y/N once told Felix that he’d seen Farleigh with cocaine. I mean there could be so many other reasons why they hated each other.

But what happened and they became friends? Guys, I know the answer to that question!

Well, there was once a silly little guy called Oliver Quick. Did Farleigh like him? No, not at all. Did Y/N like him? Also not, at all.

Y/N was a straight A student who didn't not like people that could take his spotlight from him. The best and most perfect law student at Oxford wasn't the best student of all? Something didn't click here. Oh, and Farleigh knew that all too well.

So, since Farleigh also didn't like Oliver and the only person who had any chances to do something with the teachers didn't like Oliver too, he thought it would be okay to talk with him.

It wasn't so hard then to convince the teachers to do a shakedown in Quick’s room.

The cocaine found there? Oh, it definitely wasn't coming from Farleigh.

And what about Oliver you might ask. Well, he said bye bye to his studies at Oxford. And to Felix, which was the best for Start and he couldn't be happier.

And Y/N and Farleigh, who were they after that?

Were they friends?

Worse. They became lovers.

masterlist

[nataliesfirefly]

You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 6

a/n: hey guys!! im so sorry this part has taken me so long! im currently on a trip so i havent had much time to write! but i hope this makes up for it, im super excited for yall to read this!!! also i think im going to plan for this series to have a few more chapters, probably max 9 or 10! i love it sm i really dont want it to end 😭 but anyways enjoyyy and comment what you think! and again i apologize if the smut is mid.. btw this is not proofread LMAO

series masterlist

playlist

word count: 4.9k words

warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), p in v, angst, language, smoking, afab reader

You’re sitting in your bed, reading a magazine, when your flip phone rings. You lean forward to pick it up from the corner of the bed, wondering who could be calling you this late. You raise your eyebrows when you see that it’s Lola. You haven’t spoken to her since school got out. Nevertheless, you answer it and put the phone up to your ear.

“Lola! Hey,” You grin. “Oh my God, I’m so glad you picked up. I’m so bored around here,” She groans, and you smile even bigger at the sound of her voice on the other end. “Around where?” You ask curiously.

“My parents’. I have to babysit my younger sister all the time. It’s exhausting, really,” She moans. “I just want to like, go to a party or something. Honestly, I would even prefer to be going to classes right now instead of this.”

“Wow. That must mean it’s really bad then, huh?” You continue flipping through the magazine, your eyes scanning through the apparently trending fashion and makeup choices at the moment.

“Yes. Ugh. You’re at Saltburn, right?” She asks. “Yeah.” You reply.

“How’s that going?” Lola questions, and you hear another voice in the background that sounds like her, only higher-pitched. “No, I’m on the phone. Go away. Shoo,”

You try not to snicker at her shooing away her little sister. “It’s…” You trail off, trying to decide the right way to describe how the summer is going so far for you. “I don’t know. Different.”

“How so?” You pause and wonder if you should tell her what’s been going on. You decide it’s probably better not to and keep some things to yourself.

“I think it’s just cause we’re growing up. I mean, we graduate in less than two years.” You shrug and reach over to grab your glass of wine. “Oh God, don’t remind me. My parents are still asking me what my plans are,” She sighs loudly.

“I can’t believe it.” You shake your head and close the magazine, uninterested in the latest celebrity drama. An idea suddenly forms in your mind.

“Hey, the Cattons are throwing one of their big summer parties in a few days. I could invite you?” You suggest. You hear Lola gasp. “Really?! I’d love to go. I’ve heard so many stories about the Saltburn parties.” She makes it sound so dramatic, and you giggle.

“And you’d get a chance to see Felix,” You grin as you hear her jumping around. “Yeah, I would! You don’t need to convince me any further. I’ll be there,” She pauses. “Wait, but they’ll let me come, right?”

“Oh, of course. They like me a lot, so I’m sure they won’t mind.” You assure her. “Okay, perfect. Thank you so much, my love. I’ll let you get some sleep. See you soon!” She squeals excitedly and you roll your eyes with a smile as she hangs up.

You set down your phone and sigh, looking around your dim room.

You haven’t been able to get Farleigh out of your mind since your little… moment two nights ago. He’s not avoiding you, but he’s not being nice either. He’s gone back to teasing you and embarrassing you in front of the Cattons. You should’ve known that if you got too close, he’d pull away and return to his old ways.

But every little glance you two share has your stomach fluttering and your heart pounding. Every insult meant to hurt or offend you has the opposite effect. In some depraved way, you like when he degrades you. The past two nights, you’ve laid awake and stared up at the ceiling, trying to relive that night when he made you feel so good. Just the thought of him had your mind reeling. You would do anything just to feel that way again. You’re hooked.

You can’t just keep wallowing in these feelings. You want to talk to him, work things out, and go back to how they used to be a week ago. More importantly, you just want to be in his presence. It gives you some kind of thrill to be around him. It’s like a game of roulette to see which version of him you’ll get each time, and you love it. You crave his attention.

You climb off of your large bed and walk determinedly to your door, opening it quietly and sneaking down the hallway. It’s quite a long walk to Farleigh’s room, but you don’t care. You pass Felix’s room, then Venetia’s. Both of their lights are out, telling you that everyone in the house is probably asleep by now. You can only hope and pray that Farleigh isn’t.

You eventually find yourself standing in front of his room. Dim light peeks through from under his door, and you sigh with relief. He’s still awake. Your decision catches up to you and you realize how stupid it is that you’re about to knock on his door. You shake your head to clear your doubt, raising your hand and gently knocking.

You hear his bed shifting and footsteps following close after. You swallow nervously, your throat suddenly feeling dry. Your heart races with anticipation as he finally opens the door.

Fuck. He’s shirtless with only a pair of sweatpants on. Your eyes trail down subconsciously before you blink and look back up to his face. Is he wearing underwear?

“Hello,” He says, his grin foxlike. “I can’t sleep. Can we talk?” You ask, your voice shaky. You curse yourself for sounding nervous. He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows. “Talk about what?” He questions.

You pause, unsure of what to say next. What were you going to talk about? He would deny any feelings towards you, so what was the point of even coming here?

“Just let me in, please.” You step forward and avoid his gaze. He steps to the side wordlessly, opening the door further to let you into his room.

You breathe in the familiar scent of that candle he’s always burning, and the scent of his cologne. It’s musky and spicy, with notes of vanilla. You tried to memorize it everytime you were close to him. You walk over to his bed and sit down on the edge, looking up at him as he closes the door behind him.

“Can I have a cigarette?” You ask, pointing to the pack sitting on his bedside table. He nods, and you carefully take one. He hands you the lighter.

He stares down at you as you light the cigarette, taking a drag from it. He chuckles to himself and you exhale, furrowing your eyebrows. “What’s funny?”

“You always said you hated the smell. Yet here you are, asking me for a cigarette,” He replies with a scoff. “Maybe you’re just a bad influence,” You shoot back, and his smile slightly fades.

You can see his eyes traveling down your body, lingering on your thighs and your bare legs. You had outgrown these sleep shorts, but you never cared because you figured no one would see you in them. Well, there goes that.

“Are we not going to talk about the other night?” You mutter. “What’s there to talk about?” He replies, and you roll your eyes. “Are you-” You pause and let out a frustrated breath. “Are you serious?” You exclaim angrily.

“You can’t blame it on being drunk this time, Farleigh.” You tell him, and he freezes, his gaze faltering downwards.

“Can we not talk about that? Let’s just…” He sighs with exasperation and sits next to you. You turn away from him, looking out the window. You decide not to press the issue, since it’s apparently too much for him to think about right now. Honestly, you aren’t even able to fully process what’s been going on between you two.

“Let’s just… talk,” He says finally, and you face him again, exhaling a small cloud of smoke. “Okay.” You shrug. It’s what you both do best: Talking. About anything and everything, despite the strange history of your relationship. You guessed that it was because you had known each other for so long, that it just came naturally. He’s just… real. He’s never pretending or putting on a façade, at least around you he’s not. Around the Cattons, he has to, because to them he’s just the wild child, the comedic relief, the American. You feel like you are the only one that gets to see the real Farleigh, and it feels like a privilege. But you know that’s not true, and you choose to believe it anyway.

“So… Our third year at Oxford,” Farleigh says. You let out a breath and raise your eyebrows. “Can’t believe it’s already been two years,” You both smile, thinking of all the good and bad memories you’ve made so far during your years at university.

“Can I be honest?” You ask, and he nods. “I’m scared.” You say simply. His eyebrows knit together. “Of what?” He replies. “Graduating. You know, I’ll probably go to graduate school or something, but I need to start making my own money. Get a job. Do adult things,” You sigh just at the thought of all the responsibilities. “I can’t be on a scholarship forever. Or have my parents pay forever,” You continue, shaking your head. “I’m putting them through enough as it is.”

Farleigh nods again with a look of understanding. “I might go back to the states. See my mom, maybe stay there for a while.” He says. You can’t help but feel a little sad at the thought of him being away for so long. You hate to admit it, but you would miss him.

“But we don’t have to worry about that right now. You’re too uptight. Let yourself have fun,” He nudges you softly. “I’m trying,” You mutter. “Well, you’re smoking. That’s one step closer,” He laughs a bit and you roll your eyes.

It goes quiet and you stare down into your lap. You can feel his eyes on you, and your heart begins to race with anticipation. That familiar tension returns in the air between you and Farleigh.

You look up slightly, his eyes meeting with yours. Your stomach churns as you look down to see his hand inching towards your thigh, eventually resting on top of it. “I know why you came here,” He says, his voice lowered.

You look back up to him. “What?” You whisper. “Don’t play dumb,” He shakes his head. “I’m not.” You reply, trying hard not to break the intense eye contact.

You gulp nervously and finally look away, your face giving you away and burning red. “Hmm,” He hums, his thumb brushing across your thigh. You try to distract yourself by pressing the cigarette out on the ashtray on his bedside table, watching the little flame burn out.

He gently reaches up and grabs your chin, tilting your head back towards him. He drags his thumb down your bottom lip as you stare into his eyes. He grins slightly before moving his hand to cup your cheek, leaning in closer until your noses brush together. You know you shouldn’t be doing this. You know Farleigh is emotionally unavailable and toxic, and he won’t ever discuss his feelings or yours. But you can’t help but melt into the kiss, his touch, his aura. It’s like he’s magnetic, pulling you in everytime you try to pull away.

Somehow, every single time he kisses you, it’s better than the first time. Your tongues intertwine as your lips move in a perfect rhythm while both of you fall back onto his bed clumsily. One of his hands tangles in your hair, and the one that was resting on your leg moves up to rest on your waist, his fingers caressing your bare skin due to your tank top riding up. He eventually shifts his position so that he’s on top of you, and you turn to lay on your back underneath him.

His kisses begin to move down to your jawline, then your neck. He sucks and licks your skin so cruelly, but you don’t want him to stop. You breathe in the scent of his hair, his curls tickling your face, and you can already feel yourself becoming weak again.

You feel his hands start to trail down your body, resting on your hips, as he moves down the bed and you peer down to see him looking up at you from between your legs. Feverish heat burns across your skin just at the sight of it.

“Wait, wait. I’ve never-“ You start, suddenly feeling nervous. “It’s okay,” Farleigh replies, his eyes soft and warm as he gazes up at you. “Just relax,” He murmurs, gently pulling down your shorts and panties at the same time, shuffling them off your legs.

Just relax, you think. Easier said than done. You’ve pictured this moment so many times in the past few days, and you can’t believe it’s becoming reality.

And of all the times you’ve fantasized about this, none of them could ever do Farleigh’s beauty justice. His dark eyes are shining with something of lust and hunger, his plush lips slightly parted and his shoulders broad and golden. His curly hair is only slightly wet from his shower earlier, yet still perfectly coiled.

He looks up at you, trying to convey something through his gaze. “So pretty,” He mutters, tracing a finger along your thigh. Your breath catches in your throat and you feel your stomach fluttering already.

He lifts your legs up and places them over his shoulders. Your heart pounds in anticipation and you can hear yourself breathing among the silence.

Farleigh leans down and presses a few kisses along your inner thigh, and you don’t know how much longer you can stand his teasing. You watch him gaze up at you through his lashes as he dips a finger into your wetness and you see the smirk that tugs at his lips. He raises his eyebrows at you and your face turns red. “Stop,” You cover your face with both hands, your stomach doing flips. You can’t handle how perfect he looks right now, even as he teases you for how soaked you are already.

“Hey, look at me,” He says, his deep voice vibrating against your skin. You let your hands fall back to your sides, smiling shyly. His expression turns more serious as he furrows his brows, slipping his finger inside of you. He moans before you even can, his head falling against your thigh.

That familiar stretch around his finger has your mind reeling as you throw your head back. He pulls it out and you whimper at the loss, until you feel his middle and ring finger on your clit. Your hands instinctively move to grasp the sheets as he strokes your bundle of nerves perfectly, letting your head fall back down to watch him. He continues to maintain eye contact and it makes you so weak.

Your brain almost turns to mush as you see him leaning down, his head buried between your legs. A moan louder than you intended leaves your mouth as you feel his tongue greedily licking a stripe up your pussy.

“Shit,” You huff, your chest heaving up and down. No one had ever given you head before, until now, so you didn’t really understand your girlfriends when they would tell you how amazing it felt. But now, you completely get it. His tongue moves in long, slow strokes and his pretty nose nudges perfectly against your clit.

He barely lifts his head so he can stare up at you to watch your reaction. You grind up against his face, your hand reaching down to grab a handful of his curls. He groans at the feeling before inserting a finger again, moving at the perfect pace along with his tongue. The combination is enough to make your legs shake. The lewd sounds of him lapping up your cum and both of your wanton moans echo throughout his room.

“Farleigh!” You almost scream his name before letting out a long, drawn out moan. He glances up at you once more, his pupils huge with lust. He moans against you as he absolutely devours you, adding a second finger in. His long fingers brush against that divine spot inside of you and you whimper helplessly, your other hand gripping his sheets as if it could help ground you somehow. That delicious heat builds in the base of your stomach, spreading like a fire.

“I’m gonna-“ You gasp for air, your chest heaving up and down. His eyes are half-lidded and he seems completely lost in the moment, just absolutely pussy drunk. “Let go,” He says, his voice deep and raspy.

And you do exactly that. The pleasure shoots through your veins like a drug, your grasp in his hair tightening and your hips rolling as you ride it out. You eventually come down from your high, letting your legs drop from his shoulders as you let out a shaky sigh, your heart still pounding against your ribs.

“Fuckk,” You breathe out, resting your head against the pillow. Farleigh crawls over you, leaning down to kiss you. The lower half of his face is covered in your slick, but you couldn’t care less. He kisses you passionately, desperately, groaning into your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips and his tongue, and it just turns you on even more.

He pulls away, his lips hovering over yours. You look up at him and suddenly feel an indescribable desire wash over you as you stare into his deep brown eyes. It’s like you can’t get close enough to him, like you need more than everything he’s already given you. You want him inside of you. You want to feel every part of him. You want him to feel every part of you.

“Farleigh,” You whisper, reaching up to touch his face. “What is it?” He whispers back, lightly touching your own face.

“I want you,” You say. You don’t care how stupid you sound right now. This carnal desire has completely taken over you.

“In what way?” He replies, smirking smugly. “I think you know which way I mean,” You mutter. You don’t have time for his teasing, although you love it.

His expression softens and he seems to understand what you mean. “Please, I need you,” You can’t believe you’re begging for Farleigh of all people right now. You know you’ll be regretting it later. His eyes widen and he seems shocked by your confession.

“Far…” You whisper, tracing your finger along his lips. He opens his mouth to speak, hesitating slightly.

“Do you know what you do to me?” He asks, his voice soft. You look up at him and tilt your head. He takes your hand and guides it down below his waist while still looking down at you. You gasp softly when you feel that his dick is so hard underneath his sweatpants. It has to be painful. You slowly rub your hand against him and his eyebrows draw together as he stutters slightly, and it almost looks like he’s in pain.

“Baby-“ Farleigh whimpers. “Please,” You beg once again, and he nods, quickly taking his pants off and throwing them somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. You look down at his dick, and you have to keep your jaw from dropping.

It’s definitely the biggest you’ve seen, and although you haven’t seen many in your lifetime, you know he would be considered above average. It’s long, with a bit of girth to it, veiny and already leaking precum from the tip. You feel yourself starting to get nervous. You aren’t sure if you could even take all of it, but hell, you’re going to try. You hope he didn’t pick up on your reaction, because you know he would tease you over it.

He places his hands on either side of your head and leans down onto his elbows. He never takes his eyes off yours as he positions himself. You wrap your legs around his waist, letting your ankles rest on his back.

He slowly begins to slide in, and you grunt quietly at the pain. He goes a bit deeper before you panic and place a hand on his lower stomach, stopping him. “I can’t-“ You wince in pain.

“Yes, you can. You can take it,” He nods and brushes the side of your face with his fingers. He takes your hand off of his stomach gently and places your arm back onto the bed. You nod in an attempt to encourage yourself, gritting your teeth to withstand the pain. You reach up to his shoulders, resting your hands on his shoulder blades, trying to keep your nails from digging into his skin as you hold onto him.

“Fuck,” Farleigh grunts as your walls grip him tightly, sucking him in. Eventually he’s buried inside of you to the hilt, and you can feel every inch of him. You’re still trying to adjust to his size, and the pain is slowly subsiding as he groans and drops his head and closes his eyes. You press your hips up against his, trying to get him to start moving. “Far,” You mutter. You can tell he’s trying to hold back. He breathes heavily and opens his eyes again, gazing into yours.

“I’m ready,” You whisper. His eyebrows knit together as he rolls his hips slowly, causing your eyes to roll back and drawing a short moan out of you. He shudders, slightly pulling out of you before thrusting back in. You wonder how he’s so good at this as your nails dig crescent moons into his back with each slow thrust and roll of his hips. Your mouth falls open and you try to be quieter but it’s no use.

He buries his head into the crook of your neck, his curls tickling your face. He’s whimpering and moaning your name and other incoherent nonsense right into your ear. He sets a beautiful rhythm, his bed creaking underneath you as you sink into the plush of the mattress. You think you hear the headboard hitting the wall but you don’t care about the loud sounds you two are creating. You just don’t want this moment to end.

He looks back up to you and you can see he’s already fucked out. His eyes are even more glazed over than before and sex sweat forms on his brow. He whimpers helplessly and pants heavily. “You’re so good,” He breathes. “So, so good,” You could probably cum just from his words alone.

You let out a wanton moan as he hits that spot again, deep inside of you. “Oh, fuck!” You gasp and claw at his shoulders. He drops his head again, kissing your neck as he thrusts into you faster and deeper each time, hitting your spot over and over once he’s found it.

“Yeah, that’s it,” He groans against your neck and you feel tears brimming in your eyes. “Farleigh- It’s-“ You can’t seem to form words, your brain turned to sizzling hot liquid. “I know, I know,” He whimpers, his voice slightly higher pitched and breathless. You try to hold on longer, but you’re already coming undone as your orgasm hits you sooner than you expected. Your body stills and you clench even harder around him. He moans, that pained expression crossing his face once again. “Oh God,” He chokes out, his thrusts beginning to become less steady.

“Where should I-“ Farleigh pants. “Inside,” You tell him. You’re on birth control, but you don’t have the mental capacity to explain that to him or explain why. His hips stutter and he stiffens, finishing inside of you, the warm feeling spreading throughout your lower stomach. He collapses on top of you, his head on your chest, resting on the soft fabric of your shirt.

You’re already sleepy and physically exhausted from what just took place. You breathe in his scent one more time and let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling and trying to process what you just did. Then he’s wrapping his arms around you gently before pulling out of you slowly. You grunt a bit, feeling a dull ache between your legs, but you can’t help but miss the feeling of him inside of you.

He adjusts the both of you so that you’re both laying on your side, allowing you to stretch out a bit and cuddle up to him, tucking your head in the crook of his neck. He holds you, and for a moment, it feels like a real relationship. Something you had never experienced. Something deep. Something real. And then you remember that it’s not. After this, he will go back to avoiding you and acting like he can’t stand you. You just wish that he would put his pride away and admit to you what he really feels. But what does he really feel? Are you stupid for thinking that there’s something here?

Farleigh strokes his fingers through your hair, brushing away some of the strands plastered onto your forehead by your sweat. He seems to notice your silence.

“You’re thinking too much,” He says, his voice beautifully hoarse. You sigh, relaxing your shoulders. “Am I?” You reply, your voice weaker than you thought it would be.

“Just sleep here tonight,” He mutters, resting his chin on top of your head. You so badly want to ask him to be serious and have an actual conversation with you about your… relationship.

“Okay… but we need to talk about this,” You respond quietly. He sighs and shifts a bit, careful not to move you too much. “We can in the morning,” He says, but you know that won’t happen. You’ll just have to settle for no answers to your questions for the time being.

You curl up closer to him and let your eyes close, breathing slowly and peacefully. “Goodnight,” You murmur. “Night,” He replies, sounding just as tired as you are. You drift off to sleep in Farleigh Start’s arms.

ONE YEAR EARLIER

You were usually on okay terms with Farleigh. But you remember exactly when the dislike turned into hatred.

It was right before end of term exams and Felix convinced you to go to the pub to blow off some steam and relax after all your revising. You reluctantly agreed, then regret your decision when you saw Farleigh and Sasha there.

It was pretty far into the evening and you were beginning to get sleepy. You had spaced out for a moment, staring out the window and watching the snow fall before you heard something that peaked your interest.

“I mean, Felix, you have got to settle down,” Farleigh chuckled and nudged Sasha, pointing his cigarette at Felix.

Felix grinned stupidly and shrugged. “Listen, mate. I’ve tried.” Some other friends of his joined in with the laughter.

You sat up and leaned forward, facing Farleigh. “You’re one to comment on relationships,” You said, raising an eyebrow. Everyone else sort of quieted down after hearing your words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Farleigh rolled his eyes at you and Sasha just glared. “You and Sasha. You’re dysfunctional.” You responded, unafraid to challenge him.

“Excuse me?” Sasha looked at you like you just committed a hate crime. “Yeah. He cheats on you, you cheat on him, you get back together, blah blah blah.” You took a sip of your beer and shrugged. “It’s gone on for almost a year now. It’s exhausting,”

Farleigh chuckled. “Ohh, you want to come after my relationship?” He smirked as if he was cooking up a plan in his mind of how to humiliate you best.

“Well, I bet you would like everyone to know that you lost your virginity to Joshua Brown,” Farleigh said, loud enough for even people from other tables to hear. A small chorus of gasps echoed across the room.

“You’re desperate, easy, and sloppy. You take anyone who wants you. I guess that’s what happens when you get no attention before you go to college, hm?” He just kept going, and the whole room went silent

“I’ve seen you walk out of so many dorms at six in the morning, it’s insane. You can’t even keep a fucking man,” Farleigh’s tone was harsher and colder than you’d ever heard before. Felix was staring at you in shock and Sasha was giving you that judgemental look.

You looked around to see all the pairs of eyes on you. “Fucking hell, Farleigh,” Felix muttered, shaking his head at him.

You stood up and grabbed your bag hastily, storming out of the pub with tears in your eyes. Why was he such a bitch? Why did he hate you?

Your reputation was officially ruined. All that time, he never told anyone about your situation with Joshua. Until now. He was doing so well. The whole class thought you were an innocent and pure, high achieving student, and now what would they think? You wish you didn’t care so much about how others perceive you, but you do.

You hated Farleigh. You hated him for ruining your reputation and your image. It was impossible to get him back or do something worse, since basically everyone knew he was a slut. But he got praised for it.

Ever since that night at the pub, other students would look at you sideways and whisper things about you as if you couldn’t hear them.

Fuck you, Farleigh. You decided you were officially done with him and your weird friendship. Even if that meant having to avoid him at every cost.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv

[sharpvst]

did you forget

everything i'll always remember ?

farleigh x reader.

we were the only americans in our class. we were always called out for it , chastised for everything that we did. no one stood up for us , not even farleigh's cousin felix. and that pissed him off — both of us off. no one was there for us , we only had each other.

i remember the day we had our first conversation , we'd exchanged glances beforehand but we never spoke , not until that night. i was sitting on the roof , just a small platform that you could reach by just going out one of the windows in the literature hall.

i was watching the sunset — until i heard someone open the window. i tensed , thinking that this was the end of this secret spot. maybe a teacher found me — maybe — but it wasn't. it was him. he didn't see me for a moment , not until he made it fully through the window.

" oh — shit. sorry. " he chuckled , awkwardly shifting his heels back , he's about to leave. " it's fine. " i say , he finally recognized me. " aren't you that american in my class ? " he asked , i nodded. he smiled , closing the window and making his way towards me. " may i ? " he asks to sit , i nod once more.

we stare out to the sunset , i had truly never seen such a sight. back in america everything was way too polluted to see the real sun.

and we stayed like that for awhile , casually talking occasionally. it turned out we had a lot in common , it felt like we knew each other forever. we spent hours up on that roof everyday , we made it our spot. we'd go there each night , just . . sitting there. we enjoyed each other's presence. it was nice to know someone understood you.

it was wonderful , it was my favorite part of my day. he was the break in my day , the light at the end of the tunnel , all that sappy shit. i will never forget those nights.

one night , he kissed me. from that night on we moved our relationship from the roof to our everyday life. we were inseparable , that was . . until i got a call.

it was my family , they had finally found a school in their area that would take me. they forced me to pack up my things and leave oxford immediately so i could be closer to them. i cried , i begged. i didn't want to leave , it was starting to feel like home.

but i had no choice , i had to leave. so i left a note for farleigh on his door , telling him to go to the roof. i left a basket there. it had a note , some of my things — and flowers.

i can only imagine how he reacted , but i miss him everyday. we didn't have any way to contact each other , i had to get a new phone once i moved back. of course i couldn't remember his number , who memorizes phone numbers anyway ?

i regret not remembering it everyday , and i think about him everyday. i wonder if he thinks about me like i think about him. or has he just moved on with life ? i will never know. but a part of me hopes he thinks about me still. i hope he thinks about me , about us.

[manicpixiefelix]

a long way down to the bottom of the river

{ One-Shot AU for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: In which Felix can't be talked around to forgiving Oliver, and you become one of Elspeth's last remnants of her children. (Or; in an alternate universe, canon happens and the reader is there to suffer through it with the rest of the Catton family.)

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: SALTBURN-CANON ENDING; death, grief, murder, implied/referenced suicide, funerals, drinking, implied overdose, Oliver Quick being a bastard behind the scenes. You die at the end (heavily implied, not graphic). Angst without a happy ending.

A/N: 3604 words. had to write this to get it out of my head, im so emotional about the catton family i love them all very much. THIS IS NOT CANON TO head, heart, hand.

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

Its Elspeth who finds him, who screams bloody murder in the mid-morning sun. The others are quick to join them, Venetia and Farleigh still sopping from searching the lake. Venetia collapses and Farleigh alongside her, and Sir James is quick to attend his son, denial on his strained voice. Oliver is next, slow moving as if in a haze, and finally, footsteps and shouts -

"What is it, is he -?" Your voice rings out, but Elspeth cuts you off sharply.

"Stop right there, pet." Voice surprisingly authoritative, you're still amongst the high walls of the maze, but can see the clearing open up ahead. However, you still obligingly stop.

"What's wrong, Elspeth, what's happened to-?"

But Elspeth is approaching you, the faintest glimmer of tears in her eyes. Something is terribly wrong, you note, as she wraps you up in the tightest hug you can remember.

"I don't," her voice trembles, barely audible, "want you to see this."

"No," you whisper as it begins to hit you.

"Darling-"

"No," you struggle, already feeling panic and dread well up inside of you. Elspeth tries to hold you tighter, quietly sobbing as she tries to keep you in her embrace, but you break free, running for the centre of the maze.

"Let me see my Felix!"

There are no words in the English language that will ever come close to describing the noise of absolute, distraught anguish that claws its way from your throat at the sight of Felix on the grass, unmoving.

Venetia sobs louder.

The minute you start to crumble, to fall, Oliver is by your side, holding you tight, holding you close. He's wearing Felix's robe, but it's a comfort in this moment. The sobs that escape you make your whole body ache, but you just don't understand how this could happen, how it all went so fucking wrong, how he looks so peaceful in the morning light.

Elspeth calls everyone away for lunch, voice forcibly level, but immediately you disagree.

"Don't make me leave him," you hear yourself say in a rush. For a long moment, Elspeth frowns at you, not angry, just concerned.

"Let his pet stay with him," Sir James says with a strained kind of fondness, "I think letting him have company is a good idea."

After a moment, Elspeth approaches you, takes you out of Oliver's arms, holds your face steady, and you try to repress your tears for the moment.

"Come right back when, well," she falters, just for a moment, "I'll have Duncan call the police -"

"I'll be good, I'll be good," bubbles from your lips as tears continue to trail down your cheeks. Softly, weakly, Elspeth smiles.

"I know you will be, pet, then you come right back inside for lunch with us, okay?"

"Yes," and you, desperate for this connection in this moment, call her something usually only ever used by Felix and Venetia, "mum." Elspeth's gaze softens, eyes suddenly glossy with new tears, and she quickly kisses your forehead.

"Good pet," and she lets you go, leading the way from the maze, and leaving you to finally, tragically approach the body of your best friend.

Like a distraught lover, a dog desperately waiting for a master who will never wake up, you take your place by Felix's side. He is perfect, looking like an angel, looking like he was sleeping; Sir James' reaction still breaks your heart when you think about it, if only because it makes too much sense for a parent in denial.

Everything is a blur, all pain and love and a childish desperation for this all to be a bad dream. When you talk to him, amid sniffles and hiccupping sobs, you don't even register what you're saying; for the first time in your life, Felix is cold to the touch. He's always run warm, this isn't right, this can't be real - when reality hits you again, it hits you hard, laying, curled up by his side, head on his chest. There's no steady rise and fall of his breathing, no warmth, no heartbeat that you know better than your own. Felix, perfect, angelic Felix, is not sleeping.

When the paramedics and police find you, gardener in tow to help them through the maze, you've lost your words. All you can do is sob, wracked with grief, by his side.

It's the gardener who manages to pull you away, a kindly, greying gentleman who's been working for the family for many years. He speaks softly and kindly when he tells you that Elspeth is waiting for you, that lunch is served.

Unlike the others, you've had no time to change, no time to clean yourself up. You are a mess, looking the way every single one of them feels.

There's a chair pulled up right next to Elspeth, way out of formation from the others, an plate of food sat there too. Somehow you know it's for you. When you sit, she gives you a tight, sad smile, and reaches out.

"Eat up, pet," she insists, giving your hand a squeeze when you take hers, "we've all got to keep up our strength." The mince and pie on the plate in front of you is cold. All you can do is cast a helpless gaze around the table to the others. Farleigh sits across from you, unable to look up, unable to touch his food, unable to move. Venetia is at the other end of the table, hand shaking on the wine bottle as she appears to contemplate pouring herself another glass; she looks distraught, looks a mess, god you wish you could go hug her. Oliver is observing you all, as he always does, desperately trying to cling to a sense of normalcy despite the way the air all around you seems to be rotting as you sat there.

And there's a gaping hole in the family, at the table, Felix's chair empty, and your regular one beside it. It means something. Means everything. Beneath the table, Elspeth has lowered your joined hands but hasn't let go. You can feel her trembling. With one hand she tries to eat her lunch with a fork, but Duncan interrupts with a request to close the curtains, to shield the family from witnessing Felix's body being taken away.

Still, everything goes to hell as those curtain bathe the room in red light. Despair is the sound of Farleigh sobbing and screaming and Venetia drinking wine until she's all but drowning in it, and Sir James casting Farleigh out after Oliver rats him out for the cocaine at last night's party. It's all set to the squeak of the gurney just outside, heavy with the weight of your best friend's body. Elspeth tries to act like she can't hear it, but her hand in yours is painfully tight, and she can't keep her food down in that moment.

The curtains open, the world is light again, and you still haven't touched your food.

"May I be excused?" You voice is weak as you turn to a still riled up Sir James. There's a tick in his jaw.

"No."

"Please, he's family."

"He's not coming back here, not now, not ever," there was no room for argument in his voice, but you persisted.

"Please let me say goodbye."

Sir James seems to soften, just for a moment, and he casts his gaze to his wife beside you. When you look to Elspeth, she does hesitate, her grip on your hand still tight, but she finally lets go with a dejected nod.

Immediately you're scrambling away, standing so fast from the table that your chair clatters to the ground in your haste, bolting from the room to find Farleigh.

In the foyer, waiting, Duncan standing guard over him a few feet away, Farleigh is sobbing into his hands. When you pull him into a hug, he crumples against you. There are no words in this moment, just a harmony of anguish and despair, the two of you on the pristine marble floor, holding each other for dear life.

There is no coming back from this. Your world has been irrevocably changed, has gotten a little smaller.

That night you curl up in Felix's bed, like you always do. Your world will never be the same.

"Can I come in?" Venetia sounds like she's been crying, and all you can do is nod. Curling up next to you, Venetia is the little spoon, whole body shaking with silent sobs as you hold her tightly. You join her, until your cries become audible, clinging together in your misery.

"Oh, my darlings," from the doorway you hear Elspeth, and immediately Venetia's crying becomes louder, gesturing like a child for her mother to join your all. Shuffling over, you let Elspeth settle herself in the middle, under the duvet, tears in her eyes as you both curl into the only show of genuine connection she's offered all day. Venetia begs her mother to make it stop, to tell her it isn't real, and all Elspeth can do is apologise.

"He's gone, mummy he's gone, how the fuck could this happen to us?!"

Elspeth has no answer.

All three of you sleep uneasily.

During the days that follow, lead up to Felix's funeral, Elspeth requests your company more and more, whilst Sir James seems to have decided that your input, as Felix's closest friend, was necessary for the funeral arrangements. It's taxing to accommodate them all and not break down. Thankfully, during the nights, Venetia doesn't seem to mind if you cry. The two of you take to sharing Felix's bed, like children having a sleep over, holding each other close for comfort, trying to talk when the pain of his absence isn't unbearable.

In between it all you try and make time for Oliver. He watches the way you're stretching yourself thin, always asks how you are, if you need a break or time to yourself. Time to yourself is the last thing you need, you tell him, and he can see the sadness in your smile.

On the day of the funeral, it is you and Sir James who give speeches. When the idea was suggested, you immediately tried to refute it, insisting that Elspeth or Venetia should be the ones to go up, but Venetia gives a sad smile and points out that you knew him better than she did. Elspeth knows she could never make it through even a sentence.

Still, Venetia comes up with you for support, her arm tucked in yours as you read through the carefully prepared documents. Farleigh's in the crowd with red-rimmed eyes; at least Sir James had the good grace to invite him, even if he wasn't allowed to attend the actual burial or wake.

Halfway through your speech, the paper gets blurry and tears cloud your vision and your voice gets stuck in your throat for a moment.

"It's okay," Venetia whispers, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, though she's crying too, "it's okay."

"Felix Catton," you decided to fold up your carefully prepared script, looking out at all attending, all who'd loved him, "was an irreplaceable bright light. Everything about him made the world want to bask in his warmth; I know everyone here knows what I'm talking about," taking a deep breath, looking around to see more than a few nodding heads in the crowd, "Fi was love, and joy, and spontaneity, and he refused to compromise himself for others," and you looked down, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as the ache in your chest began to overwhelm you, "he was unapologetically himself," another shaky breath in before admitting, "he was my whole world," trying to get past the lump in your throat, "and I'm going to miss him for the rest of my life."

It's Venetia who throws Felix's rock into the river, and your turn to support her, holding her tightly as she flinches away from the sound of the rock hitting the water. She cries in your arms until you all make your way back to Saltburn.

"Felix's darling," is what Elspeth has taken to calling you in the past few days. It's clunky to hear, and would be a mouthful to say, but you're not going to protest.

"Yes, mum?" It's what you've taken to calling Elspeth; she hasn't protested that either.

"Of course you're free to say no, but I-" desperately trying to keep up a brave face, it falters slightly when her voice catches, "I'd be very grateful for your company in one of our spare bedrooms. Nothing untoward -" she's quick to clarify, "like a sleepover, when you children were small. I'll get Duncan to bring some kind of snacks, perhaps a charcuterie board? And wine?" She gives a hopeful smile. Never in your life had you heard a request quite like this from Elspeth. But these aren't exactly usual circumstances; who were you to deny a grieving mother?

Elspeth tells you stories from Felix and Venetia's childhood from before you knew them, often with a hint of guilt that it was relayed to her by one of the maid, or footmen, or chefs, or gardeners. Still, it's comforting to you both to hear these stories on such a tragic night. The wine is immaculate and the cheese is, of course, award winning, and if Elspeth is crying quietly while she tries to sleep, holding you close like you're a child again, you don't say anything. There's tears in your eyes too.

But you can't get to sleep. When you see the sky turning pale behind the curtains you ease yourself out of her grip, exhausted in every way possible, as you head to the other side of the estate, back to a more familiar bed.

When you finally get back to Felix's room, you're hit by the overwhelming smell of blood. Dread and nausea wells up in your stomach, the scent growing stronger with each step you take towards the bathroom.

Blonde hair and a blood-filled bathtub. Razor blades and Venetia's blood on the tiles. You think you're going to be sick.

"Ven- Ven!" You're screaming at the top of your lungs, it's barely even dawn. You don't care if you wake Oliver in the next room, god there's horror in the idea that he'd slept just feet away without even knowing.

"Venetia!" You climb in the deep tub, bloody water splashing, overflowing as you pull the plug and try and sit her up higher, sit her mouth and nose out of the water. It's too late, logically you know this, but you're panicking - this can't be happening again. Oliver stumbles in, horror on his face, in his eyes, as he takes in the scene, and you beg him to fetch Duncan, to call and ambulance, sobbing through your adrenaline and fear.

You won't let her be seen in this state, you realise, so you pull her from the bath, wrap her up in a spare robe from her brother's closet, and you sit with her. Your back against the wall you sit her in between your legs, back firm against your chest, propped up, even as her head lolls to the side. All you can do is cry, whispering apologies into the damp ends of her hair, begging her forgiveness. Your pyjamas are soaked with her blood from the bathtub, but you can't even begin to care.

Elspeth becomes reluctant to let you go.

"Tell me about your adventures with them," she'd ask softly, sitting neatly and cross-legged in the spare bedroom next to the master bedroom where Sir James still spends his nights. Like her daughter before her, she's started requesting that you braid her hair after she's showered for the night. You always oblige her request.

She becomes anxious, it seems, without you around, as if afraid that you'll do something similar to Venetia. You are not yourself around her, you are a remnant of her children, but for the time being she gives you purpose, so you cave to her requests every time. All your clothes are moved into the spare bedroom, and in the quiet of night, Elspeth sounds so sad when she recounts that she stopped Felix and Venetia from crawling into her bed after a nightmare far earlier in their lives than she wishes she had. She always wakes up before you, and never talks about it during the day, but there's something in it for you too. Every night she kisses your forehead, and something aches in your chest at her quiet, loving words;

"I love you, my darling, I'm so proud of you." And you know you're not the child she so desperately wishes she was talking to. But you realise you needed to hear them anyways.

Oliver is still around, quiet, skulking, not quite sure what to do with himself. A lot of the time he joins yourself and Elspeth in whatever activity she had chosen; reading, art, strolling the grounds.

"Isn't he wonderful," Elspeth would say, fondness in her voice, "of course you and our darling Felix love him so, how beautiful he is." Elspeth held fast to you and Oliver, all she had left of her children, though in time it grew almost to the point of suffocation.

"It's because she's worried you'll do something drastic," Oliver tells you softly, the two of you sitting on Felix's balcony, looking out over the lake. Sir James and Elspeth are attending a gala, and Elspeth had been wringing her hands about not having you by her side for the night, but her husband had reminded her that this was the one gala you really couldn't attend, and ordered Duncan to always have you in line of sight.

"Like Venetia?" You'd asked, wine drunk and indulging in your night of freedom. Oliver is very quiet, but you know he's thinking the same thing. When you look over your shoulder, you see Duncan, stoic as ever, behind the glass doors, giving your conversation privacy but still always watching. You implore him to get another bottle of wine, and promise you won't make any rash or sudden moves. Oliver snorts into his own bottle, but Duncan seems less than impressed. Still, he obliges, and for a few moments you and Oliver are entirely alone.

"Is it like Farleigh?" Oliver finally asks, before shaking his head with a frown, back tracking, "no, forget I said -"

"Is what like Farleigh?" Intrigued and feeling indulgent, you lean your head against him, the two of you on the wicker sofa. For another few beats, Oliver is still quiet.

"Are they paying for you?" He murmurs, "is that why you stay?" You make a noncommittal noise in the back of your throat, shifting a little.

"Is that what you think of me, Ollie?"

"I don't know," he admits, "no-one really talks about why you're here."

"I don't think anyone thought it mattered; I'm here because Felix is my best friend and the others don't mind me being here," you sit up, gesturing broadly out to the grounds with a wide smile and open hand, "I could be anything I want, anywhere I want, and I chose Saltburn." Sitting back down, you settle against him, and thank Duncan as he slithers back into your view with a fresh bottle of wine.

"Is that what you tell yourself?" Oliver sounds almost a little rueful as he says it, but all you can do is snort with laughter, unsurprised that he doesn't believe you.

"Do you think I wasn't allowed at this gala tonight because I was, what, too poor?" He doesn't exactly have an answer for you, so you continue on anyways, "Ollie, my parents were hosting it; they just hate being reminded that they have a kid." It's the way you have nothing, nothing, nothing that loves you other than these memories, these two broken parents, that makes you bark a humourless laugh, "funny, isn't it?" Your eyes start misting over, and you can't look at Oliver for your thoughts and the grief as it wells up inside of you, "how I got the family I always wanted," a wide, ugly smile stretches across your face as the tears begin to pour, as it really, truly hits you, "all it cost me was fucking everything else."

("You should have let them go to the gala," years later he will tell a comatose Elspeth, barely clinging to life as he watches over her and the machines keeping her breathing, "you should have known they'd do something drastic." He takes an inhale, faint smile quirking at the edge of his mouth as he considers, but can't bring himself to look at Elspeth during these moments of his confessional.

"You had everything you needed in them; the ghost of your selfish children calling their best friend home, haunting us all even when they were gone. I admit, I was selfish, you didn't need me. No," he reconsiders, shaking his head with a frown, "they were selfish; they could have had the world and yet they chose to haunt you, haunt us."

"They were cute with Felix though, weren't they? Best friend. Soulmate. Dog. Says he was their everything, and I think Felix thought that about them too. Always tangled up in each other, weren't they? Something very Romeo and Juliet about them; romantic," he tried not to give a wicked grin at the thought, "that they'd kill themselves the same way he'd died."

"You never did ask why I was so sure Farleigh still had cocaine in his room after the party.")

[overleftdown]

quotes that remind me of farleigh start !!

[xavigab]

Okay, but Oliver actually being a stupidly rich kid too, and him being rich and bored... well, he started doing social experiments. It started off with simple stuff with the staff, like dropping money and seeing if they’d keep it or give it back to him or his mother. As he got older, the experiments became more complicated. In a sense, he accidentally created a little cult before he just ghosted them because he got scared. (He saw Scientology and was like ‘oh yeah I could do that’) He had journal after journal, all being very detailed research on each experiment he’s done. Then he entered Oxford, and instead of Oliver falling in love at first sight, he kinda just wanted to see if Felix, the golden boy of Oxford, could be befriended by a 'poor awkward scholarship kid with no style' (lmao). Anyways, he started from the very beginning, meeting Michael (whom he would have liked to befriend because the guy was weird and would be nice to socially study), and then the whole lying about his ‘family’ to be taken to Saltburn, and then after conducting that experiment because it like worked, he decided to do a second part and see how much lying it would take for a friend to forgive. He hired another family and planned to be called when he was bathing. Oh and if y’all want you could say he fell In love with Felix at the end of it so he confessed in the maze and like after some angst they had their happy ending hahaha. Anyways, he takes his social experiments very seriously. (I would say the most he would do is the Farleigh thing about the plate, but he would still feel bad lol. I wouldn’t say he would be able to kill someone. As he did social experiments, he learned more about people, the good and the bad, so I feel like he would have very good etiquette.)

Sorry I like making completely new stories from already existing once cuz I’m dumb