#farleigh start hurt/comfort

[firemenenthusiast]

—“to love”

farleigh start x reader

summary: asking farleigh to let you go if loving you isn’t worth it

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, swearing, fluff

a/n: i couldn’t decide between angst and fluff and i haven’t posted fluff for a while so yall getting BOTH. also sorry if this is kinda boring and cheesy and dramatic (me fr) 😞✌🏻

the sound of water drops drumming against the window fills your ear, tapping away at each droplets of the pouring rain, taking you away from the realisation that it’s been raining since the sun slipped off the horizon. it must be cold outside, you imagine, with the loud heavy rain and thunders.

must be the complete contrast of how warm it is inside, especially the room you and farleigh share in this mansion given that you always kept the temperature toasty. farleigh always fussed about it too, saying that it’s too warm for him and insisted that if you’re gonna keep it that way, he’s gonna have to be shirtless in the room. wiping away another stray tear rolling down your right cheek, your lips curl in a quiver as you shut your eyes.

it’s almost hysterical how even in a space that warm and cozy, having yourself all wrapped up in his blanket and sitting by the window, you still feel all alone. you don’t get it. you have all these people around you, well, all the people downstairs partying away because it’s felix’s early Christmas party yet you still feeling left behind.

farleigh’s downstairs too, you believe he’s doing all the things he usually does when he’s in the party mood. maybe by now he’s already had too much to drink for, or he’s plopped down against the couch and counting the stars dancing around at the ceiling.

normally you would be snuggling by his side, holding his firm arm close to your body so some of his warmth could radiate against your skin, but it’s been months since you and farleigh had that kind of time together. now, it’s just routine quick kisses on the top of your head, before he’s out again to catch a smoke by the courtyard and disappearing all day long, even with you in the house.

feeling all the pent up confusion, mellow and slight anger settling down, you can’t help the small hiccups escaping your lips as your shoulders jerk at every sob. you can hear the muffled music from downstairs, and sounds of people cheering for whatever reason you could easily guess at. they’re typical, you would say, but what’s not typical is the distance you feel with farleigh, and how his behaviour as of late makes you feel worthless, and that the spark you felt when you first started dating has gone into a mere strike.

you know you should’ve just told him how you’re feeling. you know you could’ve just said that you hate the way he doesn’t kiss you anymore. you miss the feeling of his lips against yours, his soft ones cradling your lips that is enough to make you melt into the moment because farleigh is such a good kisser. you know how they say to communicate, but you wish it was that fucking easy.

because you hate having to beg for affection. you hate having to tell someone to love you, you hate having to teach someone that you desperately love to no end, how to love you properly. if you were really worth it, you wouldn’t have to do all that, would you ? if farleigh really loved you like you love him, he wouldn’t make you feel like this, all disregarded and unimportant. truth is, you almost made yourself believe that the relationship is a dead end, and that he’s gonna break the news to you anytime now. what’s the point anyways ? it’s not like he cares, does he ? he certainly didn’t when he left you feeling the worst after getting back your test marks and it was so awful that you cried. all he said was, and you quote, “just a test” before leaving you to go tanning with felix when he knew you studied all night long for weeks. he knew, because he was there, watching you flip through your notes desperately.

as you sit looking out through the window, your eyes trailing the fragile looking droplets of rainfall down the pane, drinking in your sobs that were frantic a few moments ago. you’ve spent the past couple of months just smiling away and comforting yourself that maybe he was just tired, and that he wasn’t feeling like wrapping his arms around you when you needed him the most. yet deep down, you know that it wasn’t supposed to be like that. he shouldn’t get to pick and choose just whenever the fuck he feels like having a relationship.

at this point you’ve made yourself believe that farleigh only keeps you around for the sake of having a girlfriend. you don’t think he wants to be a boyfriend alongside of that, nor he cares that he’s made you feel worthless with the fact that he hasn’t kissed you on the lips for weeks now. not sure if he even realises that, having made himself busy with all the cigarette breaks and hanging out with the group. sometimes you think that he goes on all that cigarette breaks just to get away from you. it’s funny because it’s not like you couldn’t stand the smoke, if anything you don’t care if he does it around you at all, as long as you get to be with him.

leaning deeper into the farleigh-scented blanket, the fuzzy material hugs you nicely making you feel a little comforted. you could hear the knob turning before the creaking of the old hinge of the door screeches your ear. quickly wiping the tears almost dripping off your chin, you suck in a shaky breath, bumpy from the sobs and the huge lump in your throat.

“hey babe, i didn’t see you downstairs. how long have you been here ?”

of course he didn’t even realise that you were never downstairs. eventually you get sick of the annoying music and lingering smell of alcohol on everyone. you hated how reckless everyone would be, just bumping against each other that sometimes someone gets pushed to the ground. you know because last time it had happened to you, and farleigh was nowhere to be found. he was probably doing a line at the corner of the room with his other friends but hey, at least he’s not cheating right ?

blinking away your tears, you could feel your eyes are already puffy from how much you were crying. the sniffles caught his attention, halting his movements on taking off his santa hat as he settles it down on the nightstand before carefully walking towards you.

“hey— hey, what’s wrong ?”

the huge flat of his palm finds its way against your back, slowly caressing the skin through your sweatshirt as he struggles to meet your eyes.

“baby,, c’mon—look at me, hey”

his deep voice soft, but nothing’s new as farleigh had never raised his voice at you, or yelled at you. he was always so sweet when talking to you, so when he started becoming so distant, of course you’d feel it.

slowly pulling your body into his embrace, his arms wrapping around your shoulder as you lean your head against his chest. the warmth radiating off his skin spreads across your body as the both of you just sit there, sheltering against each other’s body, seeking comfort and reassurance.

“what’s wrong ?” he’d ask for the second time, holding your jaw in his hands with his fingers cupped along your cheeks. his thumb caresses the soft skin of your tear stained cheeks before looking deep into your eyes, his beautiful brown hues piercing into your orbs.

you’re still silent, knowing that if you were to tell him all the doubts in your heart that you have of him, you’d just burst into tears again. instead, you just give him your biggest smile, praying that it doesn’t look so forced and that you’re about to cry again in his arms.

farleigh can’t help his own smile at seeing your cute face squished into his large hands, though it pains him seeing you like this. it physically pains him looking at you so broken, the puffiness of your eyes tells him that you’ve been crying a lot, yet he knows nothing of it, or the reason why. when he asks you again, coaxing an answer from you, you’d just shake your head.

“you know you can tell me anything, you’re my girlfriend” he coaxes, smoothing his palms down your hair, cradling your whole head in his hands

hearing the title he just called you jerks a new stream of tears down your cheeks almost immediately, as you shut your eyes and softly sob into his hands. seeing your reaction worries him, making him desperately pull you closer into his arms, trying to shield you from anything that may be fear in your eyes, and just protect you from being hurt, ever.

“just say it, farleigh” you manage to sob out, quirking his eyebrows into visible confusion.

“say ? say what ?” pulling away slightly to look at your face, your eyes busy counting the stray threads poking out the blanket

“— that you don’t love me anymore” letting out the words softly, you realise that you sounded so insecure and it’s just going to make him mad. but you know what you’ve been feeling, and it’s not you being insecure.

farleigh couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth as they leave him speechless. slowly pulling his arms away from you, he looks at you to try to find an explanation.

“what the fu— what are you talking about ?” it was ridiculous, what you just said. he hopes that there’s a better explanation for it seeing that your lips are quivering and you’re looking at him with knitted brows.

“all the cigarette breaks, leaving me in the middle of the night to go sleep on the couch, hanging out with felix all the time when im literally right in front of you, do you think im stupid—?“

“what— he’s my cousin !” he retaliates, thick eyebrows furrowed at your reasoning, thinking that it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

“and im your girlfriend, farleigh. i don’t even wanna talk about how i was never downstairs tonight and you didn’t care enough to even realise !”

“you’re being absurd, there was a shitload of people” he’s leaning back against his heels, moving further from you as he looks at you in disbelief.

“i guess you don’t even care that we haven’t kissed in weeks”

your last words leaves him dumbfounded, having realised that he hasn’t felt the soft lips he’s so obsessed with on his for weeks now. it started for a couple of days when he was busy and overall just dealing with his own mental issues but only now had he realised that it’s been weeks. taking a few steps back, he’s now fully on his feet, with his arms crossed before moving a hand to rest on his jaw.

“you don’t have to love me if you don’t want to, farleigh” you mutter out softly, the volume only enough to register in his ears

you hear him scoff at the words as you turn to look at him, pacing around at the edge of the bed before snapping his head towards you

“i can’t believe this” you hear him mutter under his breath before tilting his head towards you

“you know, i try— sooo fucking hard to love you-“ he cocks his head to the side, eyes squinting in your direction. if you want to argue on the love in this relationship, he’s been meaning to fight back.

“i care so deeply about you, i pushed away my own issues, i struggle with my own being, those voices in my head—“ you’re looking at him, your whole body tense as you blink away the tears clinging onto your lashes

“all just so i can be with you, all so i can keep you safe with me, even if it means that im fucked up in the head—“

“farleigh—“

“i don’t know how do you want me to love you, because the only love i’ve ever felt was from my mom. even that they take away from me—“

“so i try, so fucking hard to love you, as best as i could. so for you to imply that it’s not enough—“ he scoffs once again, a pained laugh threatens to blow out of his mouth. looking up at him, his face contorts in what you could make out to be disappointment. or even disgust, with the way his lips bend into a frown. scanning your eyes across his sharp features, you wished you could take it all back so you wouldn’t have to see him looking at you like that. it isn’t hatred, or is it ? but you’d imagine how you’re pushing him through his limits.

“— that’s just fucking selfish. i don’t know what else do you want from me”

just as you’re about to open your mouth to say something, a loud thunder booms through the clouds, tearing the peace from the whole estate. the eardrums shattering sound horrifies the fear you have of thunder that you can’t help the scream piercing out of your mouth. you’re clutching tight at the material of the blanket, your head throbbing from the loud noise of the following rumbles from outside, the flashing of lightning accompanying the thunder that almost rips your heart of your chest, if it wasn’t already being ripped out by your cries.

immediately as he sees the flashing light before the thunder, like a natural reflex farleigh practically throws himself over to quickly wrap his arms around you and pull you into him. he knows how bad thunder fucks with your nerves and how much you hated being alone when there’s thunders outside. rubbing his hand against your arms, smoothing over your sweater, you hear him hush softly on top of your head as he pulls you closer to his chest by the side of your head.

he rests his chin against your hair while he gazes through the window. amidst all the chaos of the loud booming noises and car alarms going off outside, you found yourself fisting at his knitted sweater, clutching your fingers, in an attempt to be as close to him as possible, to feel safe. after all farleigh’s still your safe place. it’s not like you ever want to seek home in anybody else.

“im sorry” just as you hear him say these words you softly push him away to tilt your head towards his face. all those things he said, makes you feel like a shitty person. maybe you’re the one who didn’t care enough to see what he’s going through. maybe he’s right, you are selfish.

“why, um-“ you begin with a coarse voice, the lump in your throat still clinging onto the walls before you clear it

“why didn’t you say anything ?—“ moving your head to follow his eyes, the glossy brown pair struggling to look into yours.

“—do i not listen to you ever, farleigh ?” you struggle to find the right question for him, having no understanding for why he feels like he couldn’t say anything and instead, just left you hanging all these while.

he’s silent, eyebrows knitted as he looks up at you with a tear rolling down his cheek. the corners of his eyes red, he’s been struggling not to cry since you brought up the issue.

a shallow regret claws at the walls of your insides when you look at him, with tears down his pretty face. moving to sit on your heels, you peel the blanket off your shoulders to pull him into the warmth, both of you sitting underneath the fuzzy material

“im sorry“ the only same words he manages to let out, again

“farleigh i should’ve-“ just as you open your mouth he cuts you off

“no—”

“—im sorry that you feel like i don’t love you anymore” it’s only when he says this does he look into your eyes, his hands moving over your face to move the strands covering your eyes away.

“because i love you, so fucking much—“ farleigh inches over, hovering his forehead over yours that the tip of your noses bump into each other. you can feel his hot breath fanning against your skin, as he smooths his thumbs over your jaw, catching the stray tear falling over your waterline.

“all those stuff you said,, fuck i didn’t know it was fucked up—“

“im sorry i made you feel like that. i didn’t wanna drag you along with me. i didn’t wanna make you feel unsafe” his words pain you, knowing that he kept everything that was wrong to himself. somehow it angers you, the fact that he feels like he couldn’t come to you. does he think that you were gonna leave him if he did ?

“you know you can tell me anything, farleigh—“

“i know, i just,,” as he searches for words, a hiccup makes his shoulders jerk.

“i was afraid that-“ trailing his words off his lips, he tilts his head to suck in a deep breath, his shoulders shaky as you search into his tear stained face. you offer him the softest look you could give, letting him know that if you’re gonna be here until the sun comes up just talking, so be it.

“i didn’t want you to leave— i thought,, i thought if i ever said anything, you’d think im weak” his lips quiver as he utter the last of his words before a single tear spills over down his cheek. his hand reaches up to wipe over his nose, his slender fingers almost covering the entirety of his face.

you know how bad farleigh struggles with the way the cattons treat him, and how they always disregard it all if he even dare to bring it up. everyone seems to think they’re this untouchable perfectly wealthy family but you know how small farleigh feels sitting among them. if anyone spends as much time around them and farleigh, they’d also see how they’re treating him like an outsider while desperately trying to make him feel like family. but you didn’t know it was getting to him this badly. you didn’t know it fucks with him to the point that ut gets this bad. you could just imagine how hard he tried to conceal his own insecurities while having you around, trying to make you believe that everything was fine.

“i thought if i just kept quiet you wouldn’t notice” farleigh pushed his words out from the strings of sobs restraining him to speak as he finally breaks down from all the blocks of boulder that keeps being dropped on him, weighing him down

“im sorry—” now it’s your turn to say these two words to him, pulling him down towards you into a hug, your fingers sprawled out across his back, letting him rest his head in the crook of your neck as he cries.

“—im sorry that im too selfish to notice” you cant help but sob out into his shoulder, your hands pulling at the fabric on his back. he’s crummed up into you, as the both of you just sat there by the window, listening to the sounds of water droplets tapping at the glass.

as he pulls away, he moves so he could look into your eyes, your fingers cupping his jaw as it’s your turn to wipe his cheeks with your thumbs. trailing your eyes over each of his features, taking in every details on his face, from his long lashes to his tiny freckles. closing in the mere inches in between you, you place your lips against his delicately, kissing at his bottom lips. farleigh closes his eyes as he returns the kiss, soft and gentle, as you slowly move in a rhythm. it’s been so long since he last kissed you, and he’d only realise how much he misses sharing your warmths in a kiss, how much he misses just kissing away all the doubts you have deep within.

when you slowly pull away you feel his hands gripping on your waist as he moves forward to catch your lips again, into another kiss. he feels like it wasn’t enough for him, he wanted to stay like this forever if he could. caressing his jaw, you lean back into the kiss as you hear him hum and continue to move his lips against yours as if he never stopped kissing you since your first kiss.

pushing him away by his chest, you had to take a breath as soft giggles leave your lips looking at his swollen ones. both from crying, and also kissing you like he hasn’t for years. he can’t help but let out a few chuckles too, your pained smile radiates warmth off his heart, melting it all over again.

“teach me how to love you properly” he starts, pulling at the blanket to peel it off of him and placing it around you again.

knowing that farleigh barely ever felt love from his own family, let alone be shown how it actually is to be loved, it’s only logical that the things he did for you, and the love he showed you, was the only thing he knew of love. and to compare to the scraps he receives in this house, the love that farleigh has ever showed you was everything in this world for him, and probably beyond the kind of love he could ever imagined.

“i will”

you promise, as you’re willing to fix this over and over again knowing that you’d also be fixing him, who’s been broken since the day he was born. if anyone else leaves when the only thing he seeks for is love, let you be his shelter.

taglist: @flipsconhelado @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @farleighlover @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @inglourious-imagines @aracade

[xsaltburnx]

Don't leave me

Comforting Farleigh after Felix's death

Farleigh Start x female reader

a/n: I really wanted to write this because I feel like Farleigh needed someone to comfort him and tell him everything's going to be alright after he got yelled at and he definitely deserved better, poor baby, (also that's what I think the scene is about, if I got it wrong, sorry)

warning: Felix dying, swearing, everybody treating Farleigh like shit, drugs, Farleigh crying a lot

word count: 3,299

You have known Farleigh for as long as you can remember. He's always been there for you. Your rock, your shoulder to cry on, someone who knew all of your secrets and all your problems, always ready to help you. Even if it was 4 pm or 4 am, you called and he was there.

And you were always there for him. Even though most of the times you two were on different continents and hours and miles away from each other, you never let something like that ruin what you two had. Then things started getting a lot easier because Farleigh came to live in England and since then you were inseperable. Yes, you did spend quite some time at Saltburn even when Farleigh wasn't here because you were really good friends with Felix and then later met Venetia, who you've clicked with just like that. Yes, sometimes they had their own opinion on Farleigh and sometimes you hated the way they talked about him but he somehow learned how to shake that off and not take it too seriously, so you did exactly that even though deep down it hurt to listen.

When you joined Oxford university, you and Farleigh became even closer and you eventually fell in love with him. You kept it a secret for quite some time because you were afraid to talk about your feelings because you didn't want to lose him. He was your home and you weren't planning on losing that, but luckily he felt the same and that was it. He was everything you always wanted and you swore you would never let him go or do anything that would harm him or let him battle his problems alone. No fucking way.

Everything was going great. You finished another year at Oxford, celebration obviously planned there and then later at Saltburn. Summer was about to begin and you had a feeling this summer was going to be one to remember. And oh boy it was.. but for very different reasons.

"Hey baby." Farleigh walked into your dorm, closing the door behind him, his arms immedistely wrapping around your body, hugging you from behind. "Did you finish packing?" He aks gently as he looked around the room, your clothes still splatered across the floor and your bed, messier than the first night you came here.

"Shut up." You playfully hit his arm as you heard him chuckle in your ear, his lips connecting with the top of your head in a gentle kiss. "I still have so much to do, I'll never make it in time."

"Yes you will, I'll wait for you, you know I'm not leaving." He spun you around, his hands resting on your waist as he pulled you closer and hugged you tightly, one of those as you called them grizly bear hugs.

"Then help me pack?" You batted your eyelashes at him and made a pouty face, hoping it would work.

"Oh no, that's not fair, don't do that, you know I can't resis that face" He said and kissed your lips swiftly, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Of course I'll help."

"Is anybody else coming with us?" You asked while folding your t-shirts, placing them neatly inside your suitcase.

"Oliver fucking Quick." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly turned around to look at him, unsure if you heard that correctly. You obviously didn't like him, I mean Fekix though he was a very inspiring person but you and Farleigh? You didn't get the hype and always held him on his toes.

"Yeah, Felix invited him. I don't know why, something about him not wanting to go home because of his parents."

"Do Elspeth and James know that?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Yes, apparently Elspeth is extremely excited to meet him. That'll be interesting." Farleigh closed one of your bags and placed it on his shoulder. "Damn, what do you have in here, rocks?"

"Very funny, no, all the vibrators you gave me." You said, laughing, seriousness washed over his face.

"Oh really?" He dropped the bag on the floor and grabbed your waist, hoisting your body up on his shoulder, his large hand smacking you on the ass. Your laugh echoed throughout the room, probably audible outside too, but that's how Farleigh always wanted you to be. Such beautiful laughter, it was like music to his ears, like daisies adorning a beautiful meadow. He gently put you down on the bed and laid on top of you, his thumb caressing your soft cheek.

"I love you." He whispered, a special kind of sparkle in his eyes, a smile plastered on his face.

"I love you too, Farleigh." His hot breath washed over your face, his lips slightly brushed yours before he kissed you gently, a moment of bliss before the big storm.

~ ° * ° ~

Summer at Saltburn? Always crazy and busy, but the busy part? Partying and laying out on the freshly cut grass or swimming in the pool. That was all you did there every summer. Not a bad life, you always thought to yourself, but sometimes it was nice to go back to reality and to a real life.You'd be lying if you said you didn't get used to this kind of life, the glamour, the dinner parties, dressing up,it was quite fun to a certain point. When it was too much, you and Farleigh packed your bags and left for a week or two, all alone, away from all of it. But to someone, this life was inviting them in more and more as each day passed.

And then the Cattons decided to throw Oliver a birthday party. 200 people? 300? You lost count. I mean if it's a party then it's a great idea, but for the entire night Farleigh had a very strange feeling about everything that night. He watched Oliver just skulk around almost every room in the house, people not paying too much attention to him. Most of them only knew him as "the birthday boy" but only a few of them knew his actual name. There was something strange about him, Farleigh always kept an eye on him.

...and he was right...

Around 11 am you felt someone shaking your body, trying to wake you up. You opened your eyes and saw Farleigh standing in front of you and you immediately knew something was wrong. His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking, his mannerisms completely different than how he usually is.

"What is it?" You asked and instantly sat up on the bed, fear in your eyes and in your voice, your heart suddenly picking up its pace, a sudden wave of ringing filling up your ears.

"Felix is missing." Farleigh trailed off.

"What?" You quickly got up and didn't even bother to put on shoes. You ran outisde and saw Venetia in the water, walking around, waving her hands underwater. You ran towards her with Farleigh, both of you joining her, hoping he's not in here and that he's fine. Then you heard a gut wrenching scream coming from the maze. You looked at Farleigh and instantly felt tears well up in your eyes. You shook your head and walked as quickly as possible to the edge, climbed and got up, the three of you running towards the maze.

You knew the maze like the back of your hand so it was easy to get to the center, but at that moment you wish that you could just get lost in there because what you all saw was something you would never be able to forget as it was buried inside you mind very deeply.

Felix was laying there on his stomach, golden wings still attached to his back. His body a pale colour, almost a hint of blue, his beautiful eyes now without that incredible spark that you got so used to seeing. His lifeless body was something you never thought you would have to see in your life nor did you want to but for some reason you couldn't look away.

Venetia, you and Farleigh fell to your knees, grasping onto one another, looking for comfort as tears just started coming out, the pain in your chest unlike anything you've ever experienced before. It was as if someone ripped out your heart, a huge hole right in the middle of your chest. Your ears started ringing and you felt like you were going to pass out. You suddenly felt like you weren't on this planet anymore, completely disoriented and if Farleigh and Venetia weren't grasping onto your body, you don't know how you would have dealt with this alone. You let out a loud scream, your chest convulsing from all the sobs that kept coming out of your body.

You don't know how or when you got up, left the maze and changed your clothes or when on earth did everybody gather for lunch, but there you were, sitting at the table with James, Elspeth, Venetia, Farleigh, oh and yes, of course, Oliver.

The curtains shut as the room plunged into darkness, making it look red like blood, not a hint of daylight. It somehow looked terrifying and gruesome, very unpleasant. You were sitting next to Farleigh, his face kind of emotionless as he kept staring at the table, not moving his gaze from the same spot. You reached out to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, making him snap out of his thoughts, a sob suddenly falling from his lips. On your left was an empty chair and an empty plate. Felix's spot and when you first walked in and saw it, you broke down again.

Suddenly there was a hint of a squeaking gurney on the outside, meaning they were passing the window with Felix's body and then there was a sound of doors closing. A tear rolled down your cheek as you closed your eyes, your hand suddenly slipping away from Farleigh's.

"Oh my God... May I be excused, please?" Farleigh whimpered and got up from the table, his cheeks stained with tears.

"No. We haven't finished lunch." James replied, not even looking at Farleigh.

"Lunch is cold. You want me just eat it like nothing is happening?"

"What else is there to do, darling?" Elspeth looked at him, sadness noticable in her eyes.

"Anything! Anything-" You looked at him as he screamed out, a whimper escaping your lips as tears started falling from your eyes again. The pain was unbearable and seeing Farleigh like that broke your heart and how everybody acted like nothing ever happened, like Farleigh was the only one who actually cared and the only one who saw how messed up it was that everybody was acting like this. James slammed his fists on the table, the plates clattering. You jumped, your body shook from fear, the sudden change in tone almost too much.

"Farleigh! Will you be quiet?! Sit down and eat the bloody pie! Just eat it! Eat it and shut up! Eat the bloody pie!"

Farleigh sat down and grabbed his fork, placing the pie in his mouth but unable to chew through the meat. Small pieces flew out of his mouth and onto the plate, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You're not the only person here with feelings. None of us wants your bloody American feelings!" James trailed off and suddenly there was silence inside the room. You didn't even try to put anything in your mouth because you felt like you were going to throw up.

"I think it’s delicious." Oliver suddenly said, Farleigh snapping at him.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?" you look at Oliver and his expression and there was nothing on his face. Like he didn't care. You wiped away your tears and placed your hands in your lap.

"Wait, does no one else find it weird?.. No one else finds that weird?"

"Farleigh.." you whispered and placed your hand on top of his, your fingers grazing his in a comforting way.

"I wouldn’t throw stones if I was you, Farleigh." Oliver replied in a strict tone, a fork in his hand.

"Excuse me?"

"Please stop." Venetia sighed and said quietly.

"What is he saying?" James asked and looked at Oliver.

"I..I've no idea." Farleigh said, clearly confused what Oliver wanted to get with all of this.

"What I'm saying is that I'd feel guilty too."

"Guilty?"

"If I was the one racking up lines the night someone died."

"Fuck you." Farleigh stared back at him, cursing, only hate for Oliver in his body at that very moment.

"That's not a denial." Oliver replied as he leaned forward a little bit, his gaze moving between you and Farleigh.

"You took it too far, Oliver." You interrupted them, defending Farleigh.

"Is that true?" James asked, pale with fury. He looked towards Duncan signaling him to leave. "Search Farleigh's room."

"No." Farleigh crumpled into his chair and started sobbing. Now you were a little bit scared. Your eyes widened, not surely understanding what they were going to do about this situation. Seeing and hearing what was happening was making the situation even harder. You couldn't take your eyes off Farleigh and when you saw tears continuously welling up in his eyes, you couldn't help but start sobbing as well. Your heart was breaking.

"Get out." Sir James said angrily.

"Please, he didn't do anything.." You looked at Sir James, begging, trying to make him see that it really wasn't his fault and that he had nothing to do with all of this. Of course he didn't believe you, he didn't even acknowledge you.

"No, wait-" Farleigh whimpered and wiped away his tears with the sleeves of his jumper.

"What's happening?" Elspeth asked after wiping her mouth eith a linen cloth.

"Aunt Elspeth- Elspeth-" he said desperately but got interrupted by James.

"Don’t you dare look at her!"

Elspeth looked liked she was now ignoring Falreigh, not wanting to look at him at all. Could she ever look at him again after this? Who knows.

"Get out!"

Farleigh looked around the table, searching for somebody to look at him, to see they were making a mistake but no one looked at him except for you. Not even Oliver. He got up your hand slipped off, hanging next to your body. Your lip trembled at the sudden empty feeling, your head hung low as you kept staring at your fingers. Farleigh grabbed onto the chair, picking at the stitching.

"I won't mention this to the police. That's all you get. Nothing more. Ever again." James trailed off and that was the last thing you heard from him that night. Farleigh turned to the side and left the room, leaving you alone with the Cattons and Oliver. You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand.

"You didn't have to do this. It wasn't his fault." You snapped back at Oliver, his eyes quickly looking back at you. A hidden smirk adorned his face, a sinnister look in his eyes.

"You know he did it. He was racking up lines the whole night. Felix could've taken whatever Farleigh was using." Oliver replied, his plate now half empty. "Even when you two were fucking outside. It was like a freak show."

"Fuck you." You quickly got up and threw the linen clot on the table, your legs feeling like jello. "If you'll excuse me, I can't be in the room with someone who cares more about a fucking stranger than a member of this family."

You turned around on your heels and walked out of the room. The second you closed the doors, you let out the biggest sob, a long hallway making it echo throughout the house. You felt like you were falling apart from the inside out.

You stood outside Farleigh's room as you quietly knocked on the door, only a quiet sob audible. You silently opened the door and what you saw broke your heart completely. Farleigh was laying on the floor, his knees pulled towards his body, his arms wrapped around them as loud sobs fell from his lips.

You looked around his room and saw how big of a mess it was. Everything was scattered on the floor. His clothes, his books, all of his belongings on the floor. You bit your lip in hopes it would stop you from crying, but it didn't help.

You walked over to his sobbing figure and knelt down, your arms immediately wrapping around his body.

"Farleigh... baby.." you whispered, his body shaking.

"They think I killed him." He whispered through his cries, his tears soaking the carpet underneath him. "I didn't do it." His cries kept getting louder and it was harder for you to stay quiet because you couldn't stand him being like this, broken, like he didn't mean anything to anybody. Like it was all his fault. You wanted to fix everything and make it all okay for him because that's exactly what he deserved. He deserved better and to be treated right.

"No, Farleigh, you didn't do it. It's not your fault, please don't think that. You didn't kill Felix." You told him, your hands caressing his arms, comforting him, hoping it would help him even just a little bit.

"Now I feel like I did." He cried out, his face now buried in his hands.

"Hey, come here." You grabbed his arm and gently pulled him, moving his hands from his face. You intertwined your fingers with his and helped him sit up, his knees once more pulled towards his body. You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, gently caressing his cheeks before you cupped his face, making him look at you directly in your eyes.

"You didn't do it, why would you think that? Because of Oliver?" He just nooded and closed his eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek. It felt like someone was sitting on your chest, the pressure and the pain in your heart from seeing Farleigh like this was unbearable.

"Fuck him, Farleigh. He's a nobody, a fucking leech and if I could get rid of him, I would. You're so much more than all of this. You deserve everything in this world and if they can't see it, fuck 'em." You trailed off, tears welling up in your eyes and your voice breaking every other word.

"Everybody is leaving me, pushing me away like I mean nothing." He sobbed and quickly got up as he started pacing around his room, his cries so loud that it seemed like he was fighting for air. You jumped up and stood there in place for a few seconds, somehow unable to move.

"Are you also going to leave me?" His voice cracked and right then he looked like a little kid. You dare to say that he looked absolutely defeated. "Please don't leave me."

A loud cry fell from your lips, his words hurting you, hurting how he thought that you would actually leave him after everything. You shook your head and practically ran towards him, your body smashing into his

You wrapped your arms around him tightly, your face buried in his chest as you sobbed quietly. His arms squeezed you, almost as if he was afraid if he held you lightly or if he let you go, you would somehow slip away.

"I will never leave you, Farleigh. I could never. You're a part of me and if I lose you, I'll lose myself. Please don't ever think that I would leave you." He kissed the top of your head, one hand still wrapped around your body while the other gently caressed your hair.

"Now let's get out of here. Okay?" You kissed him on the lips gently, his arms resting on your hips. You had to get out of this house, had to get away from Saltburn as soon as possible. The only good thing about all of this? Farleigh by your side.

"Okay."

[backtothefanfiction]

Drunk Tennis

Summary: drunk shinanigans result in Felix living up to his nickname

Warnings: drinking, hurt/comfort

“Okay! My turn!” You called out to the group as you kicked off your heels and made your way over to the net where they had all gathered to pass round a fresh bottle of bubbly between them.

“Yes!!!” Venetia cried, “Now we can do boys versus girls!”

“Yeah but then it’ll be three against two, that’s hardly fair.” Felix interjected.

“It’s fine.” Farliegh piped up, “I much prefer being umpire anyway.” He said taking one of the mostly full champagne bottles, lifting it to his mouth to take a swig, only to quickly hold it at arms length as it frothed and he almost choked on it.

You felt Venetia smash into your side as you all chuckled.

“Come on you lot! Rackets up!” Farleigh called as he climbed up onto the umpires seat at the side of the court.

Felix smiled at you, holding out the bottle in his hand for you to take a drink before the game began.

“Watch that smirk Catton.” You said with a sly smile as you lowered the bottle from your lips again to hold it back out to him.

He scoffed, dipping his gaze to the floor with a shake of his head, “Yes because those tennis lessons I paid for you to take last summer were so successful.”

You shoved the bottle back into his chest and both he and Ollie laughed as you pouted.

“Oh it’s on brother.” Venetia rallied beside you, holding out her tennis racket in front of her like a sword with which to challenge him with.

“Very well.” Felix mused, flashing his cocky smirk and you and your sister again as you all slowly began to step backwards into position to start.

“Right, everybody! I want a clean match!” Farliegh said between dramatic swigs of his own bottle.

“Wait, who’s got the ball?” Venetia shrieked.

Felix gave a quick cheeky wave of luminous green between his fingers before he began to toss it in the air, forcing everyone to snap to attention.

He hit a perfect serve towards his sister who jumped to the left with a shriek as the powerful serve almost hit her in the arm.

“Hey!” She shrieked again, “I wasn’t ready.”

“Farleigh?” Felix turned towards the umpire for his decision.

“Huh?” He said lowering the bottle from his lips again, “It stays in.” He quickly decided instead of letting on he wasn’t fully paying attention.

“What!??” Both you and Venetia cried as Oliver and Felix cheered and high fived each other and took another drink.

“Fine.” You huffed, hoisting up your skirt and marching towards the ball that had rolled to the edge of the court, nestled into the surrounding fence.

They were still laughing, joking and drinking when you got back into position and took your own rapid serve, hoping to catch them equally off guard. Apparently you had no such luck as Felix sent the ball straight back. It hit the ground right in front of your feet and you stumbled back as you avoided it hitting you in the face. As you stumbled back, your feet got caught on one another and you fell hard on your bum and when you relaxed into the embarrassing moment, letting your whole body just flop on the floor, your head hit the ground a little more harder than you’d intended. Everyone hissed and cringed as you allowed yourself to play victim to the floor.

“You alright?” Felix said, rushing to your side.

You lifted your hands to cover your eyes, worried you’d cry and not wanting them to see or accuse you of being silly. It was just a silly tumble after all. But it was the shock and bruise to your pride that had you feeling teary.

You grunted as you felt Felix’s arm move carefully around your back to try and lift you up into a sitting position and you reluctantly let him. When his hands reached for your hands to pull them away from your face, you let him do that too.

He raised his hand, “How many fingers am I holding up.”

You scowled, it had been a little tumble and bump to the head, was he really going to check you for concussion. “Are you serious?!” You snapped, even more embarrassed as the others gathered around the two of you, the game and their drinking firmly on hold until they knew you were okay.

“Yes, I’m serious.” Felix said, waving his fingers in your face again.

“Fix.” You tried to argue.

“Just answer the question.”

“Three. Fucking Jesus. Three.”

“Yeah, she’s fine.” Farliegh joked. Felix just shot him a glare.

“Maybe we should call it a break for the evening?” Felix suggested.

“What and let you guys win before we’ve even had a chance?” You said, pushing Felix away, feeling for your racket on the floor and getting to your feet. “Nice try fix. But it’s gonna take more than just a bump on my ass to stop me from beating you boys.”

“Yeah!” Venetia agreed, stepping to you and offering you a high five.

“Fine, on your head be it.” Felix said, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

[eunoia-writes]

Damsel • Felix Catton x Reader

Summary - y/n wasn’t the type to settle down, until she met Felix that is. So when her parents meet him they’re in love her sister however is sceptical

Warnings - implied smut

“Mate I can’t get that girl out of my head.” Felix said taking a sip of his beer while he sat across from Farleigh waiting for the rest of there friends to appear

“Which one? The one you took home?” Farleigh asked lighting a cigarette before handing the box to Felix who sighed while taking a cig for himself and lighting it up

“No no the one friends with Indi.” Felix said taking a drag while Farleigh laughed

“Oh y/n, yeah she’s a sight for sore eyes if I do say so myself.” Farleigh began before laughing “shame she’s so self righteous. Indi says she’s the most opinionated person she knows.”

Almost like it was on cue the girl came walking in with indi and the rest of there friends following behind. Her eyes almost instantly locked with Felix’s and he swore he could have passed out in the spot while she’s claim the butterflies she felt were purely coincidental.

“Hi guys, you remember y/n from last night she’s finally decided to sack off the books not that she needs them the clever cloggs.” Indi said making her friend chuckle as she rolled her eye’s playfully

“Hi y/n.” Felix said with a warm smile while Farleigh took it upon himself to offer her his seat next to Felix “Y/n, you take a seat me and Indi will go get drinks.”

“It’s Felix’s right?” Y/n asked pretending as if she hadn’t memorised this name the second he told her that previous night

“Yeah it’s Felix, how are you? How’s the head?” He asked hinting as to how hard she was going yesterday evening. Y/n laughed as she got comfortable in her seat

“The head is fine however the smell of vodka might make me vomit so I beg of indi not to bring them over.” Y/n said Felix’s eyes had not left her he’d barely even acknowledged the rest of his friends as of yet.

“I’ve never seen someone drink that many vodka sodas.” Felix joked while y/n sarcastically gasped showing fake hurt

“What are you trying to say, Felix?” She joked while the same smile played on his lips

“Oh nothing at all, y/n.” Felix said and with a playful grin, offered her a sip of his beer. Y/n hesitated, Felix gently held the glass to her lips, titling it carefully as she took a mouthful. However, as the bitter taste registered, her expression shifted from curiosity to a grimace. Felix chuckled, realizing her distaste, and quickly pulled the glass away.

“Not a beer girl?” He hummed and she shook her head “hmmm I thought as much.” Y/n faked her offence once again before indi and Farleigh came waltzing back over

“Vodka soda, your favourite.” Indi said handing her the glass as y/n groaned while the two turned to the rest of the group

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll hold your hair back when you start vomming.” Felix joked his arm falling on the back of her chair casually, in reality his heart was racing at a million mile at the anticipation of her pushing it off.

“You’re on thin ice, Felix.” She joked

The rest of the night was spent laughing and joking with the group every now and then the pair breaking off for the own conversations

“No no it’s not romantic in the slightest.” She argued the group had somehow gotten on to the topic of Romeo and Juliet which y/n always had a very opposing idea to the majority. Felix had no care of the topic he just wanted to hear her talk

“How is it not?” Indi asked her friend

“It’s a mockery of young love They both had a severe lack of self identity because of there limits of freedom their family’s put on them Juliet views Romeo as her only freedom because she’s getting forced to marry Paris she sees herself choosing romeo as being free. That being said Juliet was never Romeos first choice he was just depressed that Rosaline didn’t love him back. Juliet was a rebound not a true love.” Y/n explained while Felix started at her In complete awe

“God you’re incredible.” He whispered to himself but she heard and he knew she did from the way her cheeks turned crimson. She quickly excused herself to the bathroom with indi following close behind

“What did I say? Incredibly opinionated.” Farleigh said to his cousin who simply shook his head

“She’s something else.” Felix whispered

Meanwhile In that bathroom, indi sat on the sink while y/n was in the bathroom stall “you know I’ve never seen him like this, or you like this even.” Indi said just before y/n came out of the stall

“What do you mean?” Y/n asked as she began to wash her hands

“Felix is never interested in what anyone has to say but he can’t seem to stop looking at you listening to every word you say and you you’ve never blushed at someone calling you incredible before especially a boy, what happened to my old I don’t need a man y/n?” Indi explained and y/n shrugged while she dried her hands

“You’re thinking too much into this indi, he’s just a sweet guy I’m still same old me.” She said as they left the bathroom.

“It’s getting pretty late we’re thinking off heading off.” One of the other girls said before everyone agreed that it was time to head home.

“Y/n, could I walk you home?” Felix asked she nodded grabbing her things while the rest of the group sorted themselves out they pair didn’t bother to say there goodbyes just leaving the pub and walking back towards campus.

They talked about nothing and everything all at once as they walked almost too close to one another neither one wanting to take things too far. When they got to her door she stood looking up at him after unlocking the door. If this was any other girl they’d of already invited him in but y/n wasn’t like that

“So when can I see you again?” Felix asked and y/n smiled looking at her feet before looking back up at him

“Whenever you’d like.” She said in almost a whisper

“I don’t know if indi has invited you but we’re heading out for drinks tomorrow you should join us.” He suggested and she nodded the pair were dangerously close to one another both still too nervous to make a move.

“I’d love to.”

“I’ll pick you up at 7?” Felix more told than asked and she just nodded before leaning up on her toes

“Goodnight Felix.” She whispered planting a soft kiss on his cheek before disappearing Inside her room.

From that day on the pair were inseparable it didn’t take long for Felix to start calling her his girlfriend much to everyone’s surprise. Wherever she was, he was and vice versa. The pair were joint at the hip.

“There’s my girl.” He said holding his arms open as y/n and Farleigh walked into the library books in hand. Y/n rushed over to him planting a kiss on his lips as he pulled her onto his lap.

“Hi Fi.” She said kissing him once more mumbling how she missed him.

“Hey baby girl.” Her stomach flipped at the nickname, something about that way it rolled off his tounge made her feel like she was the only person in the world that mattered to him. If you asked him, she was.

“So I was thinking…” y/n began her fingers dancing up his arm as he pulled her close

“What we’re you thinking pretty?” He asked his hand dangerously high on her thigh

“All of class I just couldn’t stop thinking about you, your hands, your mouth…” she continued and it didn’t take much more for him to be helping her off his lap

“We’re gonna go.” Was all he said patting y/n’s arse as he grabbed her hand dragging her to her dorm room as quickly as he could.

Flexi had practically moved into her dorm room at this point and tonight was like no other the pair laying in her bed facing each other while his hand rested on her cheek.

“I don’t know I guess everything that happened with Daniel made it hard for me to trust people until you came along.” She said as he listened to every word she said just as he always did

“What happened with Daniel?” Felix asked there has never been anything off limits in there relationship but she’d never spoken about her ex until now.

“He made me do things I didn’t want to do and wasn’t ready for even if I said I didn’t want to. He told me that if I loved him I’d do whatever he asked of me.” She told him and Felix didn’t need to be told what she meant he knew from the look in her eyes

“I’m so sorry that happened to you baby girl.” He said leaning in and kissing her softly she smiled into the kiss, oh how she adored that pet name.

“It’s okay, I have you now.”

“That’s right baby, and I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.” He said as she kissed him again mumbling against his lips

“You’re the sweetest.”

“I’m serious baby, if anyone hurts you, I’ll be going to prison for life.” He said in the most serious tone he could and she knew he meant it. Y/n couldn’t help but smile at his words laughing slightly before adding

“I’ll send you love letters while you’re in there.” Felix connected there lips once again moving to hovering above her one hand holding him up the other toying with her waistband

“Yeah? With Polaroids of you looking all pretty for me?” He asked and she nodded her breathe catching in her throat has his hand slipped under her shorts

“I’ll even where that dress you like so much.”

“God you’re just perfect.”

Y/n groaned half asleep at the knocking on her door “Indi go away.” She mumbled but when the door still swung open revealing her parents and sister she knew she was done for

“Hi darling -Oh!” Her mum said noticing Felix beside her daughter y/n shook Felix awake pulling the duvet over them

“What baby.” He mumbled and she just continued to shake him

“What are you guys doing here?” She asked panicking slightly

“We just thought we’d come for the day and take you to lunch we know how busy your schedule is.” Her sister said not even caring that there was a boy wrapped around her. By now Felix had sat up but was at a lots for words

“Mum, dad, Amelia… this is Felix my boyfriend.” Y/n said nervously

“It’s ah… nice to meet you.” Felix said the air was thick

“We’ll we’re thinking of going for lunch in an hour or so why don’t the two of you get ready and meet us at that little cafe, you know the one we went to last time at 2?” Her mum said trying to bypass the awkwardness of walking in on her daughter in bed with a man she’d never seen before

“Yeah sounds good we’ll see you there.” Y/n said practically shooing them out while her sister lingered back for a few seconds

“It reeks of sex in here.” Amelia added before following her parents out

“God that is not how I thought this morning was going to go!” Felix joked as she groaned burying her face in his chest

“That was so embarrassing.” Y/n mumbled while Felix just laughed dragging her up along with himself in order for them to get ready.

“Are you sure I look okay?” She asked as they stood outside the cafe Felix nodded leaning down to kiss her gently

“You look beautiful baby girl, love it when you wear my clothes.” He said referring to his yellow button up she’d thrown over her dress it practically was the same length as the dress but he still loved it regardless.

“We should head in.” She said grabbing his hand as she opened the door and they headed in. When they got to her table Felix pulled her chair out for her which had her mothers heart swelling with joy

“Hi lovely and this must be the wonderful Felix.” Laurel, her mum said with that warm smile all mothers seem to have.

“It’s nice to meet you, properly.” Felix joked referring to earlier that morning, Felixs took y/n’s hand that rested in the table giving it a small squeeze to help ease her nerves.

“Y/n told us she was seeing someone but I didn’t know it was serious.” Laurel added taking a sip of her coffee that has just arrived. Y/n admired the way nothing had changed her mum would always be the same woman who could barely sit down in a restaurant without having a coffee minutes later

“It kinda just happened mum.” Y/n said her eyes flickering from Felix to her parents

“Well Im glad we get to meet the boy that’s changed our darling girl stance on love.” Her dad, David, said trying to keep his cold front on but he was the biggest softy at heart

“Oh if anything she’s changed mine, she’s really special your daughter.” Felix said looking over at y/n was was looking up at him with nothing but love in her eyes.

“Are you all ready to order?” The waitress asked as she came over to the table

“Yes thank you I’ll have the chicken ceases salad and a Latte please.” Y/n said before everyone else made their orders before her parents started with the usually questions about her academics along with questioning Felix about his.

“Oh Christ.” Y/n mumbled a few minutes later while her parents and sister discussed if it was a red or orange dress there cousin wore to someone’s wedding

“What’s wrong Darling?” Felix asked concerned looking over at her as she chewed on the inside of her cheek

“I forgot to ask for no tomatos.” She said and Felix couldn’t help but smile as she pouted slightly

“Oh! Don’t worry I’ve got you.” Felix flags down the waitress that took down there order previously

“I don’t want to be a pain.” She whispered

“I’m sure they won’t mind.” Felix squeezed her hand softly as the waitress approached the table, Felix gave the girl a warm smile; “I’m awfully sorry but my girlfriend here was being her usual thinking of a million and one things at a time and forgot to ask is there any chance we could get no dressing on that salad.”

“It’s really no problem if not, it’s my fault honestly.” Y/n interjected not wanting to be a pain

“That’s not a problem at all I’ll go tell the kitchen now.” The waitress said with a smile before rushing off towards the kitchen

“See pretty, told you they wouldn’t mind.” Felix said pressing a kiss to y/n’s temple as she smiled

“What would I do without you hey?” She half joked leaning her head on his shoulder for a few seconds

“Perish, I believe.” Everyone but her sister laughed at his joke while Amelia shoot y/n a strange look, one that she couldn’t quit read. Felix pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before politely excusing himself to the bathroom.

“Oh he’s just lovely, y/n.” Laurel said just as he was out of earshot

“I’m glad you like him.” Y/n smiled, she’d never been this nervous to introduce someone to her family but Felix was charming as ever she didn’t need to worry at all

“It’s nice to see someone treating my girl that way she deserves.” Her dad added

“I’m so happy for you, I know it’s been difficult after Daniel but oh Felix is just perfect for you.” Laurel said reaching over to sqeeze her daughters hand

“It really means a lot that you think that, I was really nervous for you to meet him especially after this morning.” Y/n admitted taking a sip of her water

“Oh don’t be silly, that’s nonsense we should have called first.”

“Do you like him melia?” Y/n asked looking at her sister who had been awfully quiet Amelia shrugged

“He seems alright.” Y/n frowned slightly disappointed her sister wasn’t more enthusiastic about her relationship

“Just alright?” Y/n asked and once again her sister shrugged

“I don’t know him so I can’t give an option.”

The rest of the lunch went swimmingly her parents telling Felix how much they adored him and how perfect he was for their daughter. Y/n getting all shy when Felix and her dad make a joke about him making sure to give them a call when he decides to ask for her hand in which he responded oh don’t worry I plan on it

Y/n had convinced her sister to stay with her and Felix for the evening insisting she gets a taste of Oxford for when she starts In Autumn. They had decided to get the group together and head to the local pub they always went to.

Y/n sensing the need for a breath of fresh air, leads her sister into the Pubs smoking area, a sanctuary of sorts in the midst of all the madness. The cold breeze nips at their faces as they find a secluded corner. Surrounded by the soft hum of distant traffic, Amelia breaks the silence.

“Y/n, do you really like Felix I mean come on this is nothing like you.” She asks watching as her sister takes a drag of her cigarette looking at Amelia confused

“What do you mean?” Y/n asked watching the way Amelia sighed as she sat on the wall letting y/n join her

“All of it you know, him calling you Darling, acting as if you’re codependent what happened to feminist iconic y/f/n.” Amelia asked and y/n let out a soft chuckle knowing exactly what Amelia was getting at

“First of all, i am a feminist obviously and you know as well as I do that I'm fine without a man but But don’t know I think I would his protection.” Y/n half joked but Amelia was dead serious about the topic

“But you’re not some damsel in distress though y/n.”

“That not the point though Amelia, I like that he wants to protect me I like that he wants to Wrap his arm around me, And tell me that he’ll keep me safe and before you say it I know I can protect myself But when he does it for me, it's hot as hell.” Y/n explained smiling as she thought about her boyfriend and how he’d just do anything for her without her even having to ask that of him.

“I just don’t want him to dim your light because yes he seems wonderful and I’m sure he’s lovely but you are everything. he is just a boy.” Amelia said. She had always admired her sister more than she cared to admit and it would kill her to see her lose the glimmer in her eyes over some boy.

“You know me better than I know myself that would never happen and he knows that.” Y/n put her cigarette out just as Felix came wondering outside his face lighting up when his eyes fell on the pair

“There you two are I’ve been searching all over.” He said as y/n stood up from her spot letting Felix wrap his arm around her waist and press a kiss to her temple as she melted into the embrace

“Hi darling.” She said looking up at him with nothing but adoration behind her eyes

“How’s my sweet girl, what we chatting about?” He asked looking too her sister and back to y/n

“I’m good and we were just talking about Amelia coming to Oxford next year.” Y/n shot her sister a wink as Amelia then stoop up

“Oh you’d love it here plus you’d fit right in everyone loves your sister they’re bound to love you.” Felix told Amelia who smiled looking at her sister

“It’s impossible not to love Her.”

“Oh don’t I know it, your sister here is one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met she has this way of making you feel like you’re the most important person in the room without ever making herself smaller she’s incredible, darling you’re incredible.” He rambled gushing about his girlfriend who couldn’t help but blush

“You’re just the sweetest aren’t you.” She said leaning up to plant a kiss on his cheek

“I’ll give it to you y/n, he’s far better than all the others.” Amelia said making Felix smile

“I’m going to take that compliment.”

[vesterport]

Are you going to behave?

pairing: oliver quick x farleigh start

warnings: smut, dubcon, hate sex, hurt/no comfort

word count: 3k

“I think you’re in the wrong fucking room,” Farleigh whispers, overcome with the flood of blood and heat that sears inside him.

Oliver leans over, slowly, as his fists come to rest on either side of Farleigh’s head like iron weights.

“Am I?”

[twisted-turtels]

Crossed Paths (Pt. 6)

Author's note: okay, this chapter wore me out. like my fingers hurt after writing this. also i lied again, i thought i wasn't going to write this but i did, but NOW I'm on hiatus. i do have a brief outline for chp 7 though.

3042 words

Crossed Paths

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

As Jordan lays her head against the car window, the upbeat melody of Nelly Furtado’s ‘Maneater’ fills her ears, providing a comforting backdrop to the passing scenery of grass fields. She felt a tap on her shoulder taking off her headphones to see Venetia smiling at her. “You excited, love?”

“Yeah. Kind of nervous, though,” she says while taking out her earbuds, “How much longer do we have?” 

Venetia points out the front window to a large estate, “We’re already here.”

Jordan’s mouth drops in disbelief as the car approaches a large, enchanting gate. 

She turns to Farleigh, her shock evident in her expression and her questions, “What the hell,” 

Farleigh chuckles in amusement, “Welcome to Saltburn, Jordan.”

Jordan’s eyes widened in astonishment as she took in the grandeur of the estate before her. “Yall live here,” she asked the group.

“Just for the summer,” Felix answers.

“This is incredible,” she breathes, feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness flowing through her. 

Farleigh reaches out and squeezes her hand, “Dont worry. You’re gonna love it here,” he says, his voice filled with warmth and encouragement. Felix and Venetia nod in agreement. 

As the gates open, revealing the sprawling grounds of Saltburn, Jordan can’t help but feel a sense of anticipation wash over.

The car comes to a halt in front of a dramatic brown door. The girls eagerly step out while the boys take out the luggage. Venetia grabs Jordan’s hand and rushes towards the door, her excitement palpable in her voice, “Come on. I’m so excited that you’re here. We’re actually sharing a bathroom together,” Venetia rants as they approach the door. 

She knocks on the door, and it swings open to reveal a butler standing on the other side, “Hello, Venetia,” says the butler with a slight upturn of his lips, “And you are Ms. Jordan?” he asks with a more serious tone. 

“Uh. Yes,” Jordan says uneasily.

“Duncan, stop scaring her,” Venetia playfully scolds the butler as she brings Jordan inside the estate. The boys finally bring the bags to the door, out of breath. The girls look at them with amused smiles as the boys catch their breath, their expressions a mix of amusement and exhaustion.

“Did you sprint here with our luggage,” Jordan teases lightly.

Still trying to catch his breath, Felix manages to chuckle, “Just giving Duncan a head start,” he replies, earning a laugh from the group. 

Farleigh enters the estate and nods at Duncan, “Hello, Duncan,” Farleigh says.

“Farleigh,” Duncan answers stoically. 

Jordan looks at the exchange in confusion before Felix claps his hands, “Well, Jordan deserves a tour, doesn’t she?”

Farleigh nods, “We’ll show you around,” he grabs her shoulders, “The place is pretty big, so it’s gonna be a bit,” he chuckles lightly, his voice tinged with anticipation. Jordan returns his smile, her excitement palpable as she eagerly awaits the tour. Felix steps forward, taking the lead with confident strides. His familiarity with the estate is evident as he navigates the halls with ease. 

“And this is where I accidentally fingered my cousin,” Felix points to a corner before he continues guiding them through the halls. 

Felix’s unexpected remark catches Jordan off guard, her eyes widening in disbelief, “He did what,” she mouths to Farleigh; how do you accidentally finger your cousin?

Farleigh shakes his head and rolls his eyes, “He says this every time. Let’s just pretend we didn’t hear that,” he murmurs. Farleigh walks beside Jordan, occasionally offering tidbits of information or sharing anecdotes about his time at the estate. Jordan couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe as she heard about their time there. Felix stops before a door, “This is your room, Jordan. You and Venetia will be sharing a bathroom. Farleigh is right down the hallway as well, so dont worry,” Felix says teasingly, with a knowing glance. 

“And I will be on the other side of the house,” Felix pauses before continuing, “With Oliver.”

Farleigh and Jordan quickly look at Felix in shock, “Oliver,” they question simultaneously. 

“Yes, and he will be here tomorrow,” he continues.

Jordan and Farleigh double down, “Tomorrow,” they yell. Jordan and Farleigh exchange a quick glance, their surprise evident in their wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

“Tomorrow?” Jordan repeats, her voice tinged with disbelief. 

Felix nods, his expression serious, “Yes, tomorrow. He’ll be joining us for the remainder of our stay.”

Farleigh’s jaw tightens slightly, “How fun,” he says sarcastically. 

“He’s a friend, guys. He’s welcome here,” Felix says firmly.

“You’re right,” Jordan says with forced cheerfulness, “Everyone should experience this place. Right, Farleigh?”

He reluctantly nods his head. 

“Good. Anyway, my parents will be here later. They like formal attire at dinner. Annoying, right?” Felix begins to walk away, “You can borrow something from Venetia if you want, Jordy, she won’t mind,” Felix yells before he disappears. 

“Annoying indeed,” Farleigh mutters under his breath, his tone tinged with irritation. Jordan nods in agreement, her mind still preoccupied with Oliver’s impending arrival.

“We’ll be fine,” Jordan says, trying to sound more confident than she feels. “Let’s just focus on enjoying the time we have here.”

Farleigh nods in agreement, “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll see you at dinner, yeah?”

Jordan nods, “I’ll see you,” she waves as she enters her room. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jordan and Venetia walk down the halls into the dining room. Oh, this is nice. Jordan takes note of Farleigh on the opposite side of the room, chatting with Felix in the corner. Before she can walk up to him, she is interrupted by a woman. 

“Oh, is this her, Farleigh?” the woman asked excitedly before walking up to Jordan. “Hello, lovely. I’m Elspeth, Farleigh’s aunt. Felix and Venetia’s Mum,” she goes in for a hug, and Jordan hugs back. Elspeth pulls back from the hug and looks at Jordan, “You are so beautiful,” she exclaims as she runs her fingers through Jordan’s braids, “And I love your hair.”

I’m gonna let this slide. Jordan nods her head thankfully, “Thank you, ma’am. Thank you for letting me stay with y’all this summer.”

Elspeth claps excitedly, “It is not a problem. We have more than enough bedrooms to spare,” she guides Jordan to an older man, “This is my husband, James.” 

The man walks over as Jordan shakes her hand, “Thank you for allowing me to stay in your home. It’s beautiful,” she says gratefully. “Of course, Jordan,” he smiles, “Let’s sit down and eat, shall we,” he gestures to the long dining table. 

Farleigh sits next to Jordan before leaning over to whisper, “Good job,” he chuckles. Jordan looks at him, “You could’ve come over and helped me,” she jokingly complains. 

Fareligh chuckles softly, “I wanted to see how you’d handle my aunt’s enthusiasm on your own. You did great,” he whispers.

“Thanks for the moral support,” she teases, nudging him slightly. Elspeth stands with a glass of champagne, “Everyone, let’s welcome Ms. Jordan to Saltburn.” The room erupts into cheers, mainly from Farleigh, Felix, and Venetia. She feels her cheeks warming at the attention, but she can’t help but smile, “Thank you all,” she laughs shyly. 

“Of course, dear. Let’s eat,” Elspeth jokingly commands.

As the group starts eating, Elspeth says, “So Jordan, tell us how you made your way to Oxford all the way from Houston, Texas?”

Jordan swallows her food before answering, “Well, I am here for a year-long exchange program. My mom was reluctant for me to come, but-” Her explanation is cut short by a woman with bright red hair, “Are you here on scholarship,” she asks, almost condescendingly. Jordan’s eyebrow twitches, recognizing the implication behind the question, “No,” she responds firmly, her voice unwavering, “My mother pays for me to attend here.” She meets the woman’s gaze with a steady look, refusing to be belittled, “I don’t think we were introduced. You are?”

The woman clears her throat, “Pamela,” she answers.

“Pamela,” Jordan nods her head before continuing, “Well, my mother is actually one of the top lawyers in Texas, even in the country,” Jordan meets Pamela’s gaze with a firm yet polite expression, “What do you do?”

Pamela’s expression shifts slightly, caught off guard, “I, uh, dont work at the moment,” she replies, her tone less condescending now. 

Jordan nods, acknowledging Pamela’s response before returning to her meal, not noticing the look of astonishment on the rest of the family’s faces. 

Sir James clears his throat, “So your mother is a lawyer, Jordan.”

Jordan nods, her gaze still fixed on her plate as she replies, “Yes, she is. She’s always been very dedicated to her work, being a single mother and all,” she places her fork down before addressing the table, “I can always give you her card,” she jokes. The table erupts into laughter, the tension from earlier dissipating. Sir James chuckles heartily, “I might take you up on that offer one day, Jordan.”

The conversation flows more smoothly as they continue their meal, and Jordan starts to find herself at ease in the presence of the family. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Farleigh walks with Jordan towards her room. 

“Apparently, Pamela’s husband is some Russian mobster, and she’s here trying to hide away from him,” Fareligh gossips.

“Well, she needs to mind her own business,” Jordan states as they approach her door, “You wanna come in,” she gestures towards her room. Farleigh nods his head before entering and plopping down on the bed. Jordan sits next to him and takes off her heels. She notices Farleigh staring up at her, “What?”

Farleigh’s gaze lingers on Jordan before he shrugs nonchalantly, “Just admiring how beautiful you are,” he replies with a playful grin, causing Jordan to roll her eyes playfully before walking towards the bathroom. Farleigh follows and rests on the sink as Jordan starts taking off her jewelry. As she reaches for her necklace, Farleigh gets behind her, placing his hands over hers. Jordan freezes for a moment, feeling Farleigh’s warmth against her back. She glances at their intertwined hands in the mirror, her heart pounding. 

“Let me help,” Farleigh whispers softly, his breath warm against her ear. Jordan’s cheeks flush as she nods silently, allowing Farleigh to easily unclasp her necklace. As he removes the necklace, his fingers brush against the nape of her neck, sending chills down her spine. Jordan meets his eyes in the mirror, “Thanks,” Jordan murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Farleigh meets her gaze in the mirror, a tender smile on his lips. Without a word, he leans in closer, his lips hovering just inches from hers. Jordan’s breath catches in her throat as she feels the warmth of his breath against her skin. 

Before she can process what is happening, there’s a knock on the door, “Jordy! Are you using the restroom,” Venetia yells. “Farleigh gazes at Jordan, lips still close to hers. “Go on,” he whispers in his deep voice, not moving.

Jordan clears her throat before answering, “Uh, yeah. Give me one second, Vee!”

“Hurry! I really have to piss,” Venetia whines.

Farleigh whispers, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Jordan nods her head, not breaking her gaze. Farleigh steps back before exiting her room. Jordan hurriedly rushes towards Venetia’s door and opens it. Venetia hurriedly pushes past her, “Sorry, Jordan. I really had to go,” she says as she plops down on the toilet.

Jordan stands in silence. 

“Are you okay,” Venetia asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m gonna go to bed,” Jordan replies, forcing a smile. She retreats to her room, her mind swirling with a mix of emotions. As she lies in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, she touches her lips, unable to shake the lingering sensation of Farleigh’s lips so close to hers. The moment continues to replay in her mind, each detail etched into her memory. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jordan awakens to a knock on her door, “Breakfast is ready, Ms. Jordan,” Duncan yells softly. Jordan rolls over and stretches obnoxiously groggily, answering, “Thank you, Duncan.”

Jordan hurriedly changes clothes before joining the others for breakfast. As she enters the dining room, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling bacon fills the air. Farleigh is already seated at the table, conversing with Felix and Venetia. Jordan takes a seat next to Farleigh, offering him a warm smile.

“Good morning,” she greets them as she pours herself a cup of coffee.

“Oh, Jordan darling,” Elspeth exclaims, “Help yourself to breakfast,” she gestures to the buffet table on the edge of the room.

“Yes. We asked the chefs to make an American-style breakfast to welcome you,” Sir James explains, “We even have coffee.”

Jordan chuckles, a thankful smile on her face, “Thank you.”

She goes to the buffet table, filling her plate with pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Impressive.

As they eat, conversation flows effortlessly, with Farleigh occasionally shooting Jordan a playful grin or sharing a private joke between them. He casually places his hand on Jordan’s thigh as they converse. 

One of the butlers walks over and whispers to Felix before he hurriedly jumps up and rushes out the door. 

Jordan mumbles as she eats her food, “Must be Oliver,” she glances at Farleigh.

“Yeah, probably,” Farleigh replies nonchalantly as he follows Felix’s departure with his gaze. 

She shifts the subject, “So about last night-” she begins. 

“What about last night,” Farleigh asks innocently. 

“Oh, so this is what we’re doing,” Jordan chuckles.

Farleigh grins mischievously, “I dunno what you’re talking about,” he says, feigning innocence as he sips his coffee.

Jordan raises an eyebrow, unconvinced by his act, “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she retorts with a playful smirk. 

He chuckles, setting down his cup, “Okay, maybe I do,” he admits, his expression softening as he meets her gaze, “But let’s just say it was a moment. 

“A moment,” Jordan repeats teasingly, leaning closer and putting her hand on his thigh, “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Farleigh shrugs, a light blush coloring his cheeks as he looks down at her hand, “Well, it was certainly more than just a moment,” he admits, voice barely above a whisper.

Jordan’s fingers gently squeeze his thigh before withdrawing her hand. She goes back to eating her breakfast. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jordan sits on a chair next to Farleigh while the family in front of her converses. She’s not paying attention to the conversation as she focuses more on the book in her hand, ‘The Color Purple.’

“...Dirt poor, not attractive, and his parents are drug addicts. I can’t actually-” Pamela begins until interrupted. 

“Oh, here he is now! We were just talking about you,” exclaims Farleigh. Jordan looks up to see Oliver entering the library nervously. She can sense his nervous energy but feigns disinterest, not wanting to engage with him any more than necessary. As he approaches, she spares him a brief glance before returning her focus to the pages of her book. She hears Elspeth’s delicate voice in the background but only focuses on the words before her. 

“Pamela, darling, can you go and find Annie and ask about tea. And ask for a cup of coffee for Jordan,” Elspeth commands.

Jordan looks up from her book, hearing her name. She notices the red looking around in confusion, “Wher’s um…which one is that,” Pamela asks in confusion. 

“You’ll work it out, darling,” Elspeth says dismissively.

Pamela leaves the library uncertainly. 

Jordan places her book down, looking at Farleigh in confusion. He shakes his head and chuckles. 

“Poor dear Pamela. She’s been staying with us while she gets back on her feet. She’s had an awful time this year. Hideous. But oh! Oliver, so have you,” Elspeth rants.

Jordan rolls her eyes, whispering to Farleigh, “What could have possibly been so wrong in his life,” she questions. Farleigh looks at Jordan in disbelief, “Have you heard anything we were talking about?”

“No. I’m really good at blocking out voices when I’m focused,” she states bluntly. 

He rolls his eyes, “To keep it short. His dad is dead, and mom is a druggie.”

Jordan’s eyes slightly widen in surprise, “Oh shit.” That explains a lot. 

“Anyway, let’s not talk about that. Tell me about your mother. How is she bearing up…Still drinking,” Elspect states with ease. 

Felix looks at his mother in shock, “Stop!”

Elspeth waves Felix off, “Ignore him. Nothing shocks me, Oliver, absolutely nothing! Tell me everything.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

As the day goes by, Jordan stays mainly to herself. She talks to her mom, catches up with some American friends, and smokes a blunt out the window. She didn’t attend dinner, seeing as she wasn’t feeling good. Sometimes, I forget I’m lactose intolerant. She continues to smoke the blunt but hurriedly puts it out as she hears a knock on her door. 

“Coming,” she yells. She opened the door to be greeted by Fareligh, grinning. She rolls her eyes, “If I knew it was you, I wouldn’t have put out my blunt,” she complains. Farleigh chuckles, leaning against the doorframe, “Lucky for you, I’m not here to scold you about that,” he replies with a grin. 

Jordan arches an eyebrow, “Oh? Then why are you here,” she asks, crossing her arms. 

Surprised, Farleigh puts his hands to his chest, “I can’t come to check on my favorite American,” he asks mockingly. Jordan laughs, “Whatever,” she notices Farleigh in his Pajamas.

“What are you doing right now,” Jordan asks.

“Uh, nothing,” Farleigh answers in confusion. Jordan nods before she grabs his hand and brings him into the room. Farleigh starts to sit on the bed until Jordan pushes him to sit on the floor instead, “Wait here,” she says as she walks into the bathroom. Farleigh sits with his knees up to his chest in confusion.

Farleigh turns his head when he hears Jordan’s voice, “I brought all of my hair products with me,” Jordan walks out with a box full of combs, brushes, and hair creams. Farleigh watches as Jordan sits on the bed. He sees her legs on both sides of his body. 

“I said I was gonna braid your hair, didn’t I,” Jordan asks.

Farleigh grins, settling into a comfortable position as Jordan begins to work, the two of them sharing laughter and conversation that ends with them falling asleep together. 

[glassmermaids]

MASTERLIST: SALTBURN

☆: personal favorites

FELIX CATTON:

relationship headcanons

whipped (wip)

FARLEIGH START:

baby phat jeans ☆

enemies to lovers

midnight smoke break

essay

doing a line ☆

enemies to lovers²

the weekend, part two

post canon hurt/comfort

[discopaddock]

HOW TO REQUEST

what i DO NOT write?

— smut, so please do not request it.

what i write?

— fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, song fics.

how to request?

— please write the character/person you want AND is on the list below, the genre, the reader's gender (male, female, non-binary – whatever you are comfortable with).

— please write some plot (doesn't have to be extra long)

— be nice, x.

who i write for?

— formula 1

max verstappen

charles leclerc

daniel ricciardo

sebastian vettel

zhou guanyu

lando norris

oscar piastri

george russell

lewis hamilton

pierre gasly

— saltburn

felix catton

farleigh start

— 5 seconds of summer

calum hood

mike clifford

luke hemmings

aston irwin

— other singers and actors

timothée chalamet (and his characters)

olivia rodrigo

louis tomlinson

archie madewke

[demongemz]

welcome to london, FELIX CATTON! did anyone ever tell you that you look just like JACOB ELORDI? well, no matter, we hear that you are 26 and working as a STUDENT/HEIR. we also hear that you currently HAVE your memories from SALTBURN and have a tendency to be KIND as well as GULLIBLE.

DEMOGRAPHICS

Name: Felix Catton Relatives: Lady Elspeth Catton(Mother); Sir James Catton(Father); Venetia Catton(Sister); Farleigh Start(Cousin) Occupation: Student/Heir Birthday: February 14th Age: 26 Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Moral Alignment: Lawful Good Memory Status: Intact

BACKGROUND

Trigger Warning: Death, Murder, Sex, Violence, Mental Illness In the autumn of 2006, scholarship student Oliver Quick from Prescot struggled to fit in at the University of Oxford because of his inexperience with upper-class manners. He befriends Felix Catton, an affluent and popular student who is empathetic to Oliver's stories of his parents' substance abuse and mental health issues. When Oliver becomes distraught over his father's sudden death, Felix comforts him and invites him to spend the summer at his family's country house, Saltburn. At Saltburn, Oliver meets Felix's eccentric parents Sir James and Lady Elspeth, his sister Venetia, Elspeth's friend Pamela, and their American cousin Farleigh, with whom Oliver has had a tense relationship since meeting him at the university. He quickly wins over Felix's family and his obsession with Felix grows. One night, he watches Felix masturbating in a bathtub and lustfully drinks the semen-laced bathwater. He later seduces Venetia and performs oral sex on her while she is menstruating. Farleigh witnesses this and informs Felix. When Felix confronts Oliver about the accusation he claims nothing had happened. At night, Oliver initiates a sexual encounter with Farleigh, threatening him in the process to behave. Farleigh gives no enthusiastic consent. The next morning, James evicts Farleigh after receiving a report from Sotheby's about his intention to sell some of James's valuables. As the summer ends, Elspeth and James plan a party for Oliver's birthday. Felix surprises Oliver with a trip to see his estranged mother, causing Oliver to panic. Upon arriving at the family's house in Prescot, Felix realizes that Oliver had lied to him about his upbringing. Oliver's father is still alive, neither of his parents are substance abusers, and they live in a respectable middle-class suburb. Horrified and hurt by Oliver's deception, Felix orders him to leave after the party. During the celebrations, Oliver seeks to make amends with Felix by expressing his adoration for him. Felix rejects him and suggests he seek help. The next morning, Felix is found dead in Saltburn's hedge maze.