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read Living With a Tiger by x_los !
#ty jacks pyrzqxyl for betaing my comicmaking#sorry to drop you guys in the middle of the scene but i just really love the dialogue here#i beg you to go read this fic#watched a lot of melts' bingqiu wedding extra storyboard and jo and laurie's proposal scene from the 2019 little women while working on thi#also--it occurred to me while rereading living with a tiger#that bingge and shen qingqiu are the only two characters who have seen the entirety of the other's story (discounting airplane)#shen qingqiu read all of PIDW and bingge watched all of sqq's memories#so even though their actual interactions are limited to that day#sqq has been insane about binghe/bingge this whole time#and bingge has a lifetime to be insane about sqq#it really makes you think#it makes you want to turn into a void of nothingness#cheers to xlos' writing the gift that keeps giving#living with a tiger#svsss#scum villain#bingqiu#binggeqiu#shen qingqiu#sqq#luo binghe#lbh#luo bingge#long post
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pairing: narumi gen x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: he's always thought that anyone would do if he just wanted to find love but he realizes you're the one he wishes for, inspired by pop song by yonezu kenshi
warnings: some profanities from narumi
wc: 1300
Narumi Gen hated a lot of things, but one of his least favourites of all time was "true love". He despised when people would describe their love for another as "true love". It couldn't possibly be that serious. Just say you loved your partner. That was probably the extent feelings got to anywaysâ you just so happened to like each other at the same time. To him that was plenty of a feat alone, why would you have to make it sound like more than it is? For the sake of love? Ridiculous.
To him, that was truly all love was. If there was someone who liked him when he happened to like them too, that was enough. No need for years of pining, no need to get attached to some unrequited love. All that noise about love and destiny surely wasn't all that necessary.
Now, this wasn't to say that he didn't wish to find loveâ because he did. Like any other person, he truly wished to be loved. It was just that what he had in mind wasn't some deep pure love that'd last forever, nor was it a promise for eternity. He just wished for a light-hearted "I love you" here and there with someone he found special.
And for that, anyone would do. He'd find someone who fancied him along the way, and hopefully he'd like them back. That was all there was to it.
This meant his plan for finding his partner was sitting around and waiting. As horribly lame as that sounded, because he was Narumi Gen, this wasn't that hopeless of a plan. So, that's what he did. He'd go around saving people and doing his duties (to the absolute bare minimum) while making sure he was constantly trending, hoping that one day, someone would like him.
Today he was standing around for a solid five extra minutes after he defeated the honju with ease, hoping the media would snap some nice pictures of him, or he'd finally charm someone this time.
"Captain, you ought to stop that," you said. "It's rather embarrassing, you look desperate now."
"Oh, would you shut up," he said. "You're ruining my good name!"
You snorted. "What good name," you scoffed.
"I'm starting to think its your fault I'm not charming anyone. Perhaps if you didn't stop me every time, someone would have found me by now," he said.
"Yeah, right. Captain Ashiro seems to be having no issues charming people and I've never seen her try to," you said.
"You little shit," he said.
"Besides they're going to be utterly disappointed if they think this is what you're like and then they find out what you're⊠actually like," you said, and he was starting to think you wanted him to fire you. "It's okay. Someone will see how you're actually lovely at times soon."
"What?" he asked, shocked by what you said.
"What?" you replied, confused.
"Youâ you said lovely," he said quietly. Suddenly he felt flustered.
"Oh," you said, looking away and avoiding eye contact. It wasn't like you didn't mean to say that, but you didn't think it was that big of a deal. Rather, how flustered he sounded took you by surprise. âWell, youâre a little lame but youâre a good guy. Like you pretend you only do it for the media, but I know youâre always checking the alleyways that donât have as much surveillance just in case, and checking alleyways isnât something a captain has to do. And we both know the media isnât writing about anything you do there. Things like that.â
âYou never know!â he said, and you snorted.
âAlright then,â you said. âYou do you, Captain.â
âI will!â he said back, trying to sound proud.
A week had passed and here he was, doing what he always did after arriving fashionably late to the scene and taking all the kaiju out in a matter of minutes: standing around trying to look good. Because he wanted love, and anyone would do. Anyone who liked him was supposed to do.
...
And yet he wished for you.
He wished that when he woke up, the first thing he would see was you. He wished that you'd smile at him everyday with love and genuine joy the way you did to others, and he wished that youâd smile that way to him alone. He wished that after a long day, he was the one you came home to. He wished from the bottom of his heart that you would always be safe and no harm would ever come your way. He wished that your days were filled with laughter and smiles and he knew he would risk his life to protect that.
It was so unlike him in a way he absolutely hated. True love was supposed to be nonsense and someone being âthe oneâ was supposed to be some dramatic line in a movie. It upset him, that he was so utterly fond of you. Yet, no matter how much it upset him, it didn't change the fact that he was, and he couldn't deny it anymore after trying to ignore it for the full week.
So here he was, acting stupid again, hoping that youâd scold him again or tell him heâs embarrassing himself, because thatâs what itâs come down to. He just wanted another reason to talk to you.
But you wouldnât come to stop him after 10 whole minutes.
âWhy arenât you stopping me?â he asked, irritated.
âPardon?â you asked, utterly confused.
âWhy arenât you telling me to stop?â he asked again. He was aware how silly he sounded, but he was pissed off that you meant so much to him so he had to take it out on you.
âBecause you told me to stop last time??â you replied. âI thought you were going to keep this up until you found yourself a partner.â
âYouâre the one who told me to find someone that saw how I wasâŠ. lovelyâŠ. at times,â he said, but said the lovely very quietly. Remembering that you had described him as lovely made his cheeks burn and heâd rather die than let you see that.
âI mean, yeah. I do think you should,â you said.
âDonât you notice, though?â he asked quietly, avoiding eye contact. There was a moment of silence.
âI do,â you said, and immediately he looked up to face you. You had a grin on your face and you looked so proudâ you looked like you had won a game. Oh, how he hated you.
âYouâre so annoying,â he said, and you raised an eyebrow.
âRich coming from you,â you said.
âSo, do youâ,â he started to yell before cutting himself off. Carefully, he tried again. âWould you please⊠uh⊠be mineâŠ?â
Oh, this is so embarrassing, he thought. Perhaps youâd laugh at him, but he wanted to do this properly, or at the very least try to. Heâd be far more than just stupid to mess this up now. He was finally in love.
But your laughter never came. When he looked up your eyes were wide and you looked so flustered, but soon you had the most beautiful smile on your face.
âI would absolutely love to,â you said.
So he kissed you right then and there, because there was nothing he wanted to do more at the moment.
He laughed a little.
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked.
âNo, nothing,â he said.
There was no way just anyone would doâ it had to be you.
#narumi gen x reader#gen x reader#gen narumi x reader#narumi gen#kn8 x reader#kaiju no. 8 x reader#i do not know#i really do not know#i dont know if its ooc... i dont know if it turned out ok...#i do know it strayed away from pop song and i also know i didnt do pop song justice#this actually started rather differently but here we are i think this is still closer to pop song than i originally was#NOT THAT ANYONE WAS FORCING ME TO STICK TO POP SONG#i just think im very. augh. bc its so dialogue heavy and i think the dialogue i write after like 4 lines goes no where other than DOWNHILL#maybe the endings the issue. might try to fix the ending#augh. i hope it is alright#sorry narumi stans#ok perhaps the ending is a tad bit better now#idk IDK it is okay im MOVING ON#THANK U FOR READING THOUGH OMG I DIDN'T SAY TY FOR READING#I REALLY AM SO THANKFUL IF YOU READ IT AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !!!
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actually let me expand on this a little. what I mean is that I've seen. so many horror-themed polls and posts about horror fiction with an absolute minefield in the notes, of self-proclaimed horror fans up in arms against whatever they consider "torture porn" (and that's already a very nebulous concept that people like to just throw at gory horror they don't like, but I saw someone naming Tusk by Kevin Smith as an example... TUSK. by KEVIN SMITH). and constantly being like 'uwu I love horror, but shit like Saw and Human Centipede are for degenerates' and like. when did we stop being chill about this. when did we start acting like someone's liking for disturbing content is a personal moral failure. I understand the need to have limits and boundaries (I myself have never seen a single HC movie and I don't intend to change that), but lately there's been a serious backlash against anything genuinely disturbing, taboo or upsetting being portrayed in horror fiction. it's just alarming to see that the more diverse and socially conscious mainstream horror is becoming, the more sanitized and consumable people want it to be in exchange. some of the people who act like Evil Dead is fine but Saw fans are all irredeemable freaks would... probably dissolve on contact from reading Poppy Z. Brite or Skipp and Spector. and those authors were actually big names during the horror paperback boom.
and by the way, I know there's also a contingent of extreme horror fans who act like anyone uncomfortable with graphic horror is beneath them, but those edgelords are a minority. the pearl-clutchers are gaining traction, though. they really are. it just baffles and saddens me that even though so-called "normal" people are ready to lump us horror fans together into the "something is wrong with these people" category already, horror fans themselves are more than happy to tear each other down over their preferences and sensibilities.
seriously, when did we stop being chill about these things?
between all the people clutching their pearls at the slightest idea of actually disturbing content in horror fiction, and the Saw fandom going downhill at a frankly alarming rate into toxic infighting and all around bad attitudes... it's not a very fun time to be a horror fan on Tumblr right now. tbh.
#musings#the saw fandom is a different can of worms and a different vent post#and that one is for another day#ty if you read this though
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An analysis on c!Owen and his behaviour throughout the Outsiders SMP series!
Some disclaimers before I go into this. There will be spoilers up ahead! I would like to warn anyone reading that this post will mention some blacklisted members from the smp because their characters play a role in showing us about cOwen.
For convenience, all the members mentioned are the characters, not the actual ccs themself. Some of this might seem all over the place, but when the characters learn random parts of themselves at different points it's bound to happen.
Owen has changed a lot as the series has progressed and many find his personality to have changed entirely towards the end, however, this isnât really the case. When we go over his character, we can see his core values have stuck with him throughout the series, so in this post, I will go over how exactly he has changed over time and his character in general.
To make it easier, Iâm gonna split it into 3 parts. Early maze days, the introduction of clearing 2, and post memories.
During the early maze days Owen establishes his character very early on. Right from the beginning, Owen arrives with the demon Rasbi. They are notably one of the three pairs that come up, with most coming up the elevator alone. The first time we see him, Owen immediately takes up a role as a protector, asking if Rasbi knows how to fight in case there is danger up ahead.
In this first section, we can also see that he acts a lot more childish and naive. Heâs very emotional and easily upset by his past. He can be seen jumping on rocks with Mohwee and the others and crying on his first night over his loss of memories. The overwhelmingness of the clearing gets to him. This isnât to say he is some weak, stupid or soft character though.Â
Owen may be naive in believing things should be played in certain ways according to his rules but there are many instances where we can see heâs not stupid. First episode he can immediately recognise what knife Oeca is holding âHey thatâs a throwing knife right? No thatâs a daggerâÂ
After getting more settled in the maze he asks about the mazeâs agriculture, he mentions everyone is unarmed despite fearing the dangers in the maze. He starts asking about protection, armour, shields and notably, âSo this place is safe on the inside? It's safe to walk at night?â Heâs already worried for everyoneâs safety here, he knows the maze is dangerous so is there anywhere thatâs safe?Â
Very early on his past also becomes a very important aspect of his personality. He is probably one of the first to remember anything significant about his past. By episode 2 he is getting flashbacks about how to make a bow. But he makes a javelin first, noting âI think I was a hunter. No, I was an archer. I was a hunter. I was a soldier? I was good at this.â He then proceeds to aim the javelin at Oecaâs name, because at this point he canât fully trust Ocea. He is very quick to violence, although he doesn't want Oeca dead, he certainly canât trust in him.Â
Another important note is that Mohwee is one of the people in the clearing he respected and saw as someone with the ability to act. Which is why we get this interaction where Mohwee calls out âOwen.â and Owen replies with âyes sirâ. His past even without his memories is important and ingrained enough he still acts like this, and this only continues as we go through this section.
The first time they go in the maze as a group is when Apo arrives. This is a very important moment for Owen because their first trip in the maze solidifies his personality throughout this section and maybe even the series. Oeca is shot because Mohwee was careless and brought anyone in. When the group comes back, Owen asks Graecie, âHow many entrances are there to this maze?â After finding out this is the only one that opens, he refuses to let anyone get hurt again and starts blocking it off.
Trust and promises are very important to Owen here too because it's one of the key reasons he blocks off the entrance. Itâs not just Oeca getting hurt, itâs the fact he promised Graecie he wouldn't go in. âI broke my promise.â He also takes Apoâs word very seriously in the mine when he tells Owen he didnât pull the lever. Also because of this he only trusts himself to go in the maze.
When the entrance is blocked off Owen is quick to violence and threatens people if they try to get past him. After finding the old battle axe he starts using it to threaten and intimidate people. âAnyone who goes past this (the gate) i will attackâ
âAnyone else that will, I will just cut downâ are some of the things he says. He punches Mohwee for trying to get past him. When Oeca comes back after Mohweeâs disappearance, Owen follows him with that battle axe trying to talk.
Owen then goes on to say âIâm not looking for violenceâ and âI'm not collecting weapons this was instinctual (points at bow)â he doesn't want people to think heâs dangerous and he knows people are scared of him.
Even if he seems aggressive he still wants to protect others. Owen goes back in the maze to look for Mohwee after he randomly disappears on their way back. âMy job is to protect people and I will do that to the best of my abilities. At every possible stageâ
When Mohwee disappears Owen takes a massive risk to stay in the maze overnight to see if the gates would open. âThe only thing I remember about my life Graecie, is that I was raised to protect people. That's all I remember. And I know it was dumb and stupid to go in the maze but if it got us a step closer to finding Mohwee. I was willing to make that riskâ
So weâve established that Owen cares about the people in the clearing even if he doesn't trust all of them, he wants to protect them and he will do it no matter what. It's the purpose he has given himself in order to be useful.
He knows it doesnât work how he wants it to. People are scared and wary of Owenâs protection. There are multiple instances where he tells his voices, âThey donât get it,â because he knows people donât trust his methods. His method of control is disliked by a lot of people.Â
Ori is one of the main characters to go against Owen. Owen hates this because not only does it risk the safety of others but it goes against his main purpose he gave himself. He takes this job very seriously. So when Ori goes in the maze itâs no wonder Owen becomes very violent.
âOri I'm seriously sorry I will break your legs and I'm very close to it. Are you gonna make me. â
He doesnât see himself to be super aggressive though âPeople think I'm being really aggressive when I talk like âoh hey if you come near me I'm gonna break your legsâ but I'm saying it in the most friendly way I can, you understand that right? I'm not trying to be aggressive with thatâ
âI'm saying like if you do step in here I will have to break your legs. In like a very gentle and I'm very sorry I hate to inconvenience you but I do have to break your legs.â
When Ori sneaks into the maze, Owen talks a lot about his purpose. Things like âDon't, I'll fail them. They'll kill me. My entire purpose here is to stay by this door and stop you from coming in.â
Owen hates to know he is failing the purpose he has given to himself âWhen I discovered I was a soldier that's what I set myself to (protecting others) but what do I have to show for myself? I have tried my hardest to protect these people. And get they look at me and tell me I'm a tyrantâ âyou're not in control, who are you to say what happens?â
He would do anything, even if it meant sacrificing himself. As shown before when Mohwee disappears but also as he protects the gate after the second lever gets pulled he says âI'm going to protect them if I die in the process so be itâ Â
Another note before this section ends is that itâs not just Ori who opposes Owen. Sillvia also talks about Owenâs method of leadership.
Sillvia about Owen: Owen I think you would be great. If not for the fact that you have a militaristic mindset. I don't want to see your leadership spiral into a place where Apo wants. Owen I fear you and I want you to know that. I actually fear you and I don't say that about many people. And ruling should not be through fear. You are a terrifying individual and to see you be in a position of power would be a slope we cannot afford or gamble slipping down. We've seen you tussle with Ori. I know you're a strong individual. You could lead us quite well but it's the risk that comes with your leadership that I am not willing to risk.Â
The perception Owen has of himself differs from how he comes off. It becomes more of an issue later but we can already see this happen.Â
So as clearing 2 is introduced this is what we know about Owen. He was a soldier once, he wanted to protect people in the clearing even if it meant sacrificing himself. Heâs nice to others but his methods are still aggressive and violent, ready to hold a weapon to someone if needed and Owen cares a lot about trust.Â
With the introduction of clearing 2 we can see how Owen changes and develops. Heâs very cautious of clearing 2 members because for all he knows they could have led the creature that destroyed half their clearing in on purpose.Â
Owen also faces betrayal from Apo. We know trust is something Owen values a lot. Itâs mentioned in the early days, and itâs a major part of why he feels so strongly about Apo lying. During the scene where Owen faces Apo after finding he pulled the lever that killed the second clearing, his main issue with Apo isnât the fact that he killed people. It was the fact he lied to him.
âYou lied to me. Why did you do it? No no no I don't care about the lever. Apo why did you lie to me? You're my friend I trusted you. I stayed there. I held your back when oeca said it was you. I put my name on the line. Because we stood together in the mine and I asked you to swear to my face that you didn't do it. And you lied to me. Im meant to be your friend and you lied.âÂ
You can also see what Owen values in a person when they discuss Apoâs punishment and Owen says there's 3 main things he did
- went into maze without group consent
- pulled the lever
- he lied
Owen only adds on at the end that he left Squidney.
With all of this too we see Owen for the first time back away from the job he gave himself. He backs away from leadership, we start to see how tired Owen is from the stress of it all. His reasoning has to do with his trust being broken.
âWhat's the point they're all liars. This entire place is filled with filthy liars. Every single person. All I've ever done is tried to protect themâ
âForget it. I'm done. I'm don't helping people. No I'm not villain, I'm not a hero I'm nothing.
From now on there is no leader of the maze. They put me in charge. My word means nothing to them I'm done.â
âHow am I meant to protect them when I try and stop them with physical force im made out to be some kind of monster. When I try to reason with them I'm made out to be soft.â Â
Owen being viewed as soft has always been something heâs aware of. People tend to think because heâs kind that they can do whatever they want (sneak into the maze etc) and this perception Owen is a soft person develops. Even if heâs emotional and kind weâve seen before in early maze days he is not soft.Â
Owen tries to ignore all his problems but with it he grows more aggressive than before. His tone changes when he speaks about other people to his voices.
âTo visit him would be to acknowledge he exists. And right now the last thing I want to do is consider the fact that this thing lives and breathes and eats and sleeps under my feet. The sooner he wastes away and fades into nothingness the better. I don't see a life going forward with him in itâ - Owen about Apo
âThe more I look around these stupid 4 walls the more I'm reminded that he that. That I trusted him.â
"he's everywhere. It's like a disease. Like it festers. The outside looks fine and you look just below the surface and it's rotting vile and it's himâ
Apo: Just give me a chance.
Owen: why should I? So you can have another tick to the long list of times Owen has naively believed there is some good in the people that infests this clearing? Oeca, mohwee, Bekyamon, Magic, Graecie, Ori, you, liars. All of you.
Iâm not just putting quotes here just for you to see oh trust is important! But more so for you to see that Owen changes when his trust has been broken or when he sees someone as a threat. Some of these things sound very similar to what Owen would say when he gets his memories back. Because to Owen trust and protection are 2 very important values. When that is broken he canât be certain someone isnât a threat.Â
With this change Owen does become more aware he isnât the most approachable person due to his methods. I do want to bring up this quote first thoughÂ
"Can I kill someone? Ive been thinking about this recently I say I'm a soldier. But I've never actually killed anyone. All my life in these 4 walls I've spoken about security and fighting and I can't remember a time I've actually taken someone's life. What if I have to. What if it comes to that I don't think I could stomach it either. I doesn't feel like me. It's not me it's not who I am. No I can't. I'll only attack this person if they do something first. And even then I'll just aim to incapacitate"Â - Owen about Ash
This is an interesting quote from Owen knowing his later actions but itâs not that out of character. If we look at every flashback heâs had so far we can see the life of a soldier is not one heâs always wanted.
Owen to his dad: What if I'm not ready to be your protector? No It's what you've always wanted! What if I wanted to do something else? What if I don't want to be a soldier what about me when do I get to look out for myself.
However he is always ready to attack if he needs to, if it comes to it he would do anything to protect someone. I think that means to kill even if Owen doesnât think so at this point.Â
His notebook btw
Another note about his behavior is that because of how others view him he almost dies from the creatureâs venom. Ayngel even said before Owen is more angry. Other people even though it sounds jokingly say Owen gets grumpy when people disrupt him, leading to no one but Soup to check up on him when he gets stung.
When Bek comes back he doesnât hesitate to do the things he did before. He does what he thinks is right and protects Magic by aiming a javelin at Bek. He says heâs not violent but anytime he feels like heâs in danger he pulls out a weapon. He did it when he was in Soupâs basement, he does it anytime he hears about someone potetially harming Rasbi, and he did it when he heard Oeca attacked Graecie.Â
Owen in general is a fighter at heart. Even if he says he doesnât want to kill anyone he is still ready to attack.Â
Owen: this isn't you Ori. You fight. That's what you do.
Ori: what are you talking about?
Owen: you fight people. When you don't get your way you fight. You and I are the same
At the end of this section, the group decides not to go back in the maze. They had lost Squidney, Oeca, Mohwee, with the presumption that Red, Apo and Graecie were either dead or dying. Owen is tired of it all âEvery Time I've tried to protect someone they've ended dead Kyleâ he tries to hope but he is so tired. This tiredness also explains some things that happen when he gets his memory back.Â
So to summarise before looking at Owen when he gets his memories back, this is what we know about Owen. He wants to protect his friends, he believes in trust a lot, he is both seen as more aggressive and angry these days and soft at the same time, he wants to be a good leader but other people donât listen. Not much has changed since the early maze days, but itâs a more solid character now.Â
When the reunion comes around Owen in the story has finally had a moment to think about everything that happened between him and Apo. His main regret in the series was how he treated him even if he broke his trust.Â
Owen loves to contradict himself a lot but itâs a very human trait he has. He has complex feelings about Apo, and Beks and a lot of people. Yet heâll still offer his protection to them. Itâs because of this the âsuddenâ shift in personality he has becomes very shocking to the audience.Â
Since right before he sees Apo, Owen is very emotional here. Very similar to how he was in the early maze days. Itâs out of his character to hope for something like seeing Apo because he knows itâs very unlikely heâll see him again. However he gives himself this hope, one more chance.Â
When Owen regains his memories the tone shift is obvious. He acts less emotional, he seems more mature. But we do need to consider this is someone who just had a lifetime of memories shoved back in his head and his core values are so strong that Owen doesnât hesitate to act the way he used to.Â
Thereâs lots of similarities to Owen here to the one weâve known. Like his purpose. He sets one for himself immediately after arriving in the clearing. Even as he talks to Apo about his past he talks about his purpose
âI had a purpose once. I was useful, vital, adored. And suddenly everything changed. The world grew tired of blood shed. When all you're good for is violence, when you've been breed into a killing machine, a nation of peace will toss you aside like a spent torchâ
Thereâs an obvious difference here right? The man weâve watched in the maze who wanted to protect his friends just killed his best friend. This is definitely a different person right? Yes and no. Owen hasnât changed that much, and I'll explain why after we go through some more things. But itâs important to note that this isnât a completely new person, this isnât something that is unexpected when we go through the information we already have about Owen.Â
âI know what you are, you are everything wrong in the world has to offer. You are the amalgamation of all the gluttony and lust of humans with the evil and cunning of demons. You stand as a testament to everything vile. You are a disease on the face of this earth and I am it's curseâÂ
Apo: this isn't you you've changedÂ
Owen: incorrect, this is me. The man you manipulated and lied was nothing more than a puppet driven by the instinct to survive.Â
Owen wants protection for his friends. He goes to extreme lengths to keep people safe, so when he remembers demons as this evil creature that will hurt people for their own gain he wasnât going to stand around and do nothing right?Â
Surprising or not this is very in character for Owen if we look at everything else we have from the series. To him, he is still doing his job, the one heâs done since day 1 in the clearing. Just now the threat isnât just the maze and the occasional person, itâs demons.Â
The way Owen became a demon hunter is essential too. He used to live in comfort, and based on past flashbacks he was training to be a soldier even if he didnât fully enjoy it. His mother was a poet and his father was a general. He had grown up hearing all about how terrible demons are, and he didnât understand until his village had been burned down.
One negative interaction with demons had put this deep hatred in his heart for them. Before his memories returned he was ready to forgive Apo, he knew he wasnât as dangerous as he made him out to be. But when the sudden influx of memory comes, he has this past knowledge that Apo is a threat.Â
Since Apo had hurt Owen before this only adds to it. Remember Owen really values trust. Apo has broken that trust in the past, so everything combined and letting go of the final restriction itâs no wonder he kills Apo.Â
Despite this âmassive personality changeâ Owen has, when he returns to the clearing he still makes sure Magic is safe. He doesn't tell people about the lava rising so he wouldnât cause panic. He still cares about these people.Â
But Owen starts to view all the demons as a threat, every demon in the clearing has done something to suggest they could be dangerous. The reason Owen kills Guts is because they poisoned the food at the feast, which led to Magic being poisoned. He carries out this duty for protection
I think another thing people tend to forget about Owen is that he's been slowly breaking apart trying to fit what others want from him as seen in the last section. And it took a major toll on him. His outburst at Magic is one of the ways shown to us how much stress heâs been under. Perhaps even guilt heâs been feeling.
Magic: if you don't you're just putting everyone danger by not leading us⊠in thereâŠ
Owen: danger? You want to talk about putting others in danger? All of this coming from who exactly? The woman who's clearing burnt down under her leadership? The woman who lied about that previous position of leadership as she lacked the spine to correct her friend when she lied? The woman who was tied up and left for dead by that same friend? The woman who swore to protect a stranger only to them shot down in front of her? What the woman who stood still as her friend was ripped apart beside her? Oh yeah the magnitude of your failures Magic is deafening. Do you hear it? When you fall asleep at night, do you hear the screams of the dead who's blood stain your hands? How do you cope? When you find out be a good friend and let me know would you? Been looking for a way to shut them up.Â
Owen does try to justify his actions to his voices even if they donât listen. He knows people here arenât good. Heâs known this since clearing 2 was introduced, but with his memories back he feels like he has to carry on this duty by killing the threat. Thatâs the only way to keep people in the clearing safe right?
Owen to voices: have you stopped to think why I'm doing this? You seem so attached to these creatures, why? What good have they done? These people aren't good people. None of us good people. We're all in here for a reason. Just because you haven't taken your rose tinted glasses off to see that doesn't mean the rest of us haven't.Â
Like before he wonât let anything stop him, even if it means hurting a few people. He doesn't hesitate to pull out a weapon when he hears Ayngel might know him. He canât risk anything ruining his plans because he canât afford to. Heâs so tired. I think at this point anyone that was a major threat to him he would kill.Â
Ayngel: I feel like I recognise you. You and your face from somewhereÂ
Owen: oh? (Starts to pull out knife from his bag)
Ayngel: I've been having this thought and it's got me thinking (Owen pulls out a knife in case)
Ayngel: actually, honestly forget it. It's all a dream and I'm overthinking
The only exception to his thinking is Rasbi. Rasbi actually hasnât done anything wrong to him personally. Sheâs one of the few people that didnât break his trust but he still kills her. Why?Â
First off he doesnât see her as the friend he wanted to protect but instead as something he protected only to kill in the end to fulfil his duty. Her sister is the reason why he ended up in the maze, so even without Rasbi directly harming Owen in any way itâs enough for Owen to kill her. Iâm sure any small mistake or detail would have led Owen to killing any demon, because it only proves his thinking.Â
Owen barely survives after Rasbi attacks him. So as Owen starts planning how to kill Krow he starts going a bit insane. His room is a mess, his mind is a mess and he can barely stand it anymore. We really start to see him fall apart here
Owen: this yolk is a burden is a burden I can't carry for much longer. I'm tired. I want to rest. But I took a pact, I made a promise. A glorious death is his for who his country falls and either I or they thing will have to die before I stop.Â
Something thatâs brought up when discussing the idea of âMaze Owenâ is the fact that we can see âglimpsesâ of him in different interactions. For example when Owen and Krow go out into the maze and Owen spots Puddy he makes sure Puddy doesnât die by keeping him away. Even if heâs aggressive in the scene the fandom interpretation is the care he has for Puddy as âMaze Owenâ slipped through. But Itâs not out of character for him to still show care for people after his memories are returned based on everything weâve seen.
Before âkillingâ off Krow, Owen does say this âThere's no escaping who you areâ Which is really interesting since most characters heâs interacted with will tell him in the maze you can escape who you used to be. Owen knows for a fact no matter what he does in life now he will never have anything outside the maze. Because the world doesnât need him anymore. He kills the demons as his final act of service to the world because he has nothing else to offer.Â
When Krow finally comes back and Owen gets hit in the head he says to the rest of the group âI was protecting you all.â and âYou don't know what they're like! You haven't seen the outside world.â
Looking at his final moments we see that everyone that Owen has cared about doesnât trust him anymore. They donât believe his protection was needed. Heâs told that he will not get out of this cell. Heâs left alone in the silence of the cell. Finally with the time to think. He starts experiencing multiple flashbacks and it makes it hard for him to think.Â
Weâve seen in the past how Owen deals with multiple flashbacks. It gives him a headache or causes him pain in some cases. He also becomes really emotional afterwards. This follows the same case. Except he starts to realize some things.
Krow: I know those eyes. That glint of desperation for approval but knowing it's never coming. We're more similar than you let yourself believe you and I
(Flash back âi was an archer.?â âi was a hunter?â I was a soldier)
âI was a tool. Used.â
He knows heâs going to die soon and he starts to panic. The most important line he says isÂ
âSo what now? This is it!? I deserve to die in battle. I killed them. It was what I. Its just what I was meant to do. I was trained. Should i have? I should have. I should have. I can't think inside my head, it's split in twoâÂ
âSo what voices? What was I before then huh? Was that me? Is that who people trust? People trust that one. Old Owen. Yes? It wasn't me. That wasn't meâ flashback about Apo first coming up
âI can't think. I can't. They trusted him. They trusted him but not me? My headâŠâ
After this he pleads with Magic to let him out. Owen claims âI hurt them, I hurt my friends. Rasbi, Guts. And Apo, Krow I don't know why I did those thingsâ He pleads and cries. And he's desperate
Owen: âNo magic it's me please.âÂ
Magic: âYou kill people owenâ
Owen: âIt wasn't me I'm sorry. I just wanted to keep people safe.âÂ
Owen: âMagic please don't go⊠no⊠magic. You can't do this.â
Magic: âI can and I amâÂ
I think when we look at these final clips thereâs a very important thing happening. Owen is separating himself from the past. He canât understand why his friends donât trust him. Even though nothing has changed. To him his eyes have been opened to the dangers of demons and he fulfilled his purpose.Â
Why does this separation even happen? This is where we move to the final part of this long analysis and look at theories. Thereâs no way I can say for sure this is right or this is wrong. I can only tell you what I think based on the material already there.Â
So before I go into this I have to emphasize I am not saying you can't refer to earlier Owen as maze Owen to explain Owen at different periods of his life. I'm saying when we really look at it, maze Owen doesn't exist since they're the same person.Â
So what am I talking about? The concept of âmazeâ Owen has been around for a long time. Even ccOwen talks about his character like that. The idea that just because Owen didnât have his memories that he was some sweet, soft guy that needs to be babied is something that affects a lot on how you view him as a character.Â
'maze' Owen doesn't actually exist because it's a way that Owen has come up with to justify to himself how he could have cared for demons without shattering his ideals. This is confused with Owen have distinct personalities and missing how he hasn't strayed from his ideals since the start with his idea of protecting everyone.
To separate that period of Owen's life in the maze ignores the fact that the characteristics you see in Owen post reunion are the same from before but taken to the extreme.
He's always been capable of âevilâ'. It's the same as every other character in the series. We don't separate them like we do with Owen. Every character in the series is inherently morally gray, they do things out of desperation to survive. You can never say someone is 100% good or bad.Â
Owenâs same mindset of 'I need to protect the people I care about because they're in danger now' carries through. After the reunion in his head demons are no longer part of that group he wants to protect.Â
The separation of 'maze' and post reunion Owen forgets even in the post memory phase he had the ability to love like 'maze' Owen had. He released Puddy, he started a small farm, he started to relax. It's all part of him.
In his final moments he says a few important things to note. The first being "I was a tool. I was trained. Should I have... I should have." And then right after "I can't think in my head it's split in two"
It seems some take this as 'maze' Owen coming back and fighting with Owen on should he have killed Apo and the others. However rather than 'maze' Owen coming back i think it's this internal conflict he has with himself and his ideals.
Before he says this he's getting flashbacks to the early maze days where he showed kindness to demons. Something he would never let himself do in the past outside the maze. And something he would never do after he remembers it all.
Then he says to the voices "Is that who people trust? Old Owen" while those memories are playing. The voices respond saying they miss that Owen and he replies "Yes? That wasn't me" this is possibly where it further adds to the whole 'maze' Owen is a different person thing.
Rather than facing the fact that his thinking doesnât make sense anymore he separates himself from those memories. As soon as Owen accepts that demons are not these creatures that betray and kill you at any moment, his life has no purpose.
Owenâs thinking comes from the manipulation and propaganda he's been fed. In his final episode we get these quotes which show just how much his thinking revolves around protection and also showing what years of training did to him.
He understands he was a tool that was used. He's well aware everything he is doing may not have a purpose and yet he still plays this part. He can't break away from that thinking because if he lets himself, Owen has to face the fact that his whole life had no true meaning.
That is a terrifying thing to do. He has been in this environment for so long you canât just take him out of it.Â
Going over everything you can access in Owenâs pov, we know that before gaining his memories Owen is a person that cares deeply about his friends, he risks himself to protect them, he wonât hesitate to hold a weapon against someone he sees as a threat. Owen thinks trust is an important value to have, he takes it very seriously. But we also know that not everyone likes Owen and his leadership. Heâs seen with a military mindset, people donât want to upset him and it nearly costs his life.
Now letâs compare that with the Owen we get to know after his memories return. He wants to protect the people he deeply cares about, he risks himself to protect them, he doesnât hesitate to hold a weapon against someone that he sees as a threat, only now the threat is demons. When we start looking at these differences, yes, Owen when he regains his memories is different, his tone changes, he murders people. But those core values weâve seen throughout the series stay with him.
Itâs one of the reasons why Owen canât understand why no one in the clearing is on his side. He protected them against the threat they didn't know about. That is his purpose, and thatâs what heâs good for. Remember right at the beginning of the series Owen sets his purpose to protect these people, now this is still the same. He views demons as a threat because he hasnât had good experiences with them. Even if Apo became his friend in the clearing, Apo ends up lying to Owen, and betraying his trust. Guts became his friend but Guts tried to poison Magic. Owen has never fully trusted Krow and that distrust only furthers once he knows what Krow is capable of based on his experiences with demons.
So letâs go back to the previous question: who was it there? Youâre probably thinking well how do you explain maze Owen and the chips. ccOwen has mentioned before that it's a possibility for the chips to alter memories. Maybe Starr suppressed those memories and maze Owen was there again. Or he was hit hard on the head right? Maybe his chip was damaged and it altered his emotions and memory.
There is too little known information to us as an audience about the chips in their head. We know they can supposedly make the outsiders lose track of time, alter their memories, their emotions and change how they act. But if the chips in their head is the explanation for everything then why does Owen remember killing his friends when he talks to Magic? He says it like he wasn't the one doing it, like he watched someone else do it. How do you explain his behaviour then? If the damaged chip really made him act like that then why do flashbacks still occur when he's in prison? He seems to have no control over those, so the chip must still work fine?
I think when we look at his character the maze has already changed him whether he likes it or not. Thereâs more doubt in him than before. He lets Apo go with extra time. He hesitated before he ran after him. No matter how small, he has changed.
But when Owen talks about himself in the past he makes this separation. The voices in his head won't stop calling for the guy they used to know, even though he's right here. I think Owen doesn't even want to acknowledge at one point he was friends with the demons he hated so much.Â
In that prison cell all his ideals and values are facing him. Everything he's done and he's known has been a lie. I think he knows this but can't bring himself to acknowledge that. Would you admit what you thought for your entire life was wrong? That you killed countless for nothing?
When faced with death Owen becomes desperate. Which I think explains his behaviour with Magic. That is his last hope and he knows people like the older version of him. I don't think he's fully lying though when he says i don't know why I did those things. Not because maze Owen came back or anything but because in the maze he no longer has this duty but he still carries it out. He's so tired from it all and he wants to leave it behind but he can't.
So let's go over his death scene one more time. âMy head it's split in twoâ I think the explanation for this is that he was just hit with a bunch of flashbacks of his first days. Right before this he also says âI was a tool. Usedâ I believe in his final moments where he has a moment to think he starts to fight himself. Should he have done all this for a country that throws him away the second he's useless? He was trained to do this. But should he have really? That's what I think is making him say my head it's split in two. He's fighting his own views and alongside these positive memories it makes him confused. And overwhelmed.
It's important to note Owen doesn't have a single bad flashback about Apo and Rasbi. He doesn't think about the levers, he thinks about his friends that he met. That he protected.
The more flashbacks he gets the more defensive he becomes. âI'm right here you can't convince me otherwiseâ He doesn't understand why the Owen in his memories is trusted so much, even though they're the same person. In his mind he's doing what he's always done. protect.
âIt wasn't me I'm sorry I just wanted to keep people safeâ everything he says to Magic is half genuine and half lie. I don't think even Owen knows which parts are which. It's easier if he separates himself into the nice trusted Owen and who he is now.
No matter what in the end, that was Owen. Not Maze Owen but Owen who is desperate to live. He's tired of it all. He's finished his mission and he won't even get to see what he thinks will be an honorable ending for him.
Remember what Owen says to Apo? "The man you manipulated and lied was nothing more than a puppet driven by the instinct to survive."
So of course he'll do anything to survive even if it means playing up the truth.
It's hard to separate Owen into these neat boxes and say for sure that was Maze Owen at the end or that was full manipulation. Because like Owen everything is a bit grey here. Maze Owen wasn't the best person, he hurt his friends, people were scared of him. And post memories Owen isn't some misunderstood guy that needs babying either.Â
My final thoughts on this debate is that in the end the one that pleads for his life is just Owen. To separate him and say it was Maze Owen doesn't allow you to understand how complex Owen is as a character. And continues to let you believe that Owen can't do anything wrong. Not understanding sometimes a good person is capable of this evil. To the end Owen still believed he was doing what was right and that was protecting the ones he cared about. So has anything really changed since the start?
#zara rambles#outsiders smp#outsiders smp spoilers#owengejuicetv#okay if you read this whole thing just know this was about 6k words sjdfhsd#i spent a looooong time writing this mainly cause i started in july got busy with school and continued it last week. along with rewatching#owens pov to get everything here. the original document with all my notes is like 12k long because cOwen looooves to talk#i'm open to other people's opinions obviously like i said i could be wrong but this is just how i see it based on the episodes we have on y#it's kinda unfair to expect people to know random knowledge buried deep in some 4 hour vod from 2 years ago so everything here is from yt#with the exception that one fighting cOri quote since Owen deleted that section from his yt series. but it was originally there#idk what else to say really. i'm not the biggest fan of the whole 'maze' owen thing as you can tell by this and many other posts of mine#i think its fine to call him that but you gotta understand there aren't actually 2 different people. thats the tldr#anyway ty for reading wish me luck when i post this on twitter#oh sorry for no videos tumblr hates those so you guys only got the quotes đ still the same stuff though so it doesn't really matter sjdjdj
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i have come here to personally thank you for giving me more than i asked for đđ» i am utterly grateful like IDJFKDKKFODOD đ§ââïžđ§ââïžđ§ââïž it made me so happy the last doodle has my heart he is so cute i will eat him
also there is a DROUGHT out there for us noritoshi fans like im living on CRUMBS its insane and omg dont even talk to me abt how it feels like to be a kashimo and ino lover (altho they are getting a bit more love now) my nori is still underrated :/ sooo hence im asking ur hand in friendship and in exchange i promise to share my hcs with you abt nori my sweet lil meow meow we're in this together đȘđ»đȘđ»
also since its October, do you think he likes horror movies? i feel like he can withstand gory movies but its the jumpscares that get him and he wont tell u he's scared when u watch one with jumpscares owkfkdkd imagine him hiding his face against ur shoulder or something đđđ (i used to do that with my dad when we watched horror movies and i used to be like im not scaredđ€đ€ when he asked if i was lmfao thats where this hc stemmed from)
N. NORITOSHI HIDING IN YOUR SHOULDER OR SUPPRESSING HIS REACTIONS TO THE JUMPSCARES....... WAS IT AN INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO USE YOU TO HIDE??????? WAS IT BUILT UP TRUST????? DID HE GROW USED TO HOLDING ONTO YOU WHEN HE GETS SURPRISED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE HAS HIS VALUABLES SAFE????????? WAS IT A MOMENT WHERE HIS MIND JUST INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED THE FIRST THING HE WANTED TO PROTECT/BE PROTECTED BY???????? OH MY FUCK.
he's probably used to gore and gritty stuff like that since he sees it often being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. not to mention his technique is literally blood. maybe he's desensitized to gore films, the most you'll get from him is a disgusted scowl.
BUT DID YOU SEE HOW QUICK HIS EYE OPENED WHEN HANAMI SHOWED UP BEHIND HIM. YOURE SO FUCKING FR ABT JUMPSCARES. Noritoshi is that guy who wouldn't scream or yelp but gasp really loudly and jump out of his skin.
i feel like they get him most in horror because of the music building up anticipation. if its one of those fake outs where the jumpscare comes a bit after, he's fucked UP. It makes him instantly miffed, as he tries to regain his composure. He swears he's not usually like this, it got him by surprise is all..!
Noritoshi is the type that'd only watch a horror movie if the story is rich and complex. He's the type of guy to like open endings that make you think.. if it's a guilty pleasure movie where all the protags make stupid decisions, he gets annoyed right off the bat.
He's groaning and complaining about how imbecile the characters are, but would still watch it with you because you personally invited him. If he's lucky you could fall asleep on his shoulder or [insert movie cliche here] how could he pass that up? But Noritoshi wouldn't be able to focus on you if he gets twice as annoyed because its a bad movie + jumpscares. it still startles him, but the movie is so terrible, he's embarrassed it got him, especially in front of you!!!
if you get involved and you tell him to quiet down, Noritoshi would shift his focus towards you. like that awkward guy who thinks he's being smooth and lowkey about how he cuddles up next to you. He wants to be the tough guy who's shoulder you can hide in, and he is!! just not.. with jumpscares.......
#noritoshi#noritoshi x reader#kamo noritoshi#kamo noritoshi x reader#noritoshi kamo#noritoshi kamo x reader#merry october#sO SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE AGAIN WDYM OCTOBERS ALMOST OVER FUKC SO THESE OCTOBER POSTS WILL LEAK INTO NOVEMBER. AHA.#FAM I WAS SPITBALLIN SO HARD W THE WRITING BUT FUCK IT OH MY GOD I LOVED THAT#ty back for the cat noritoshi idea btw. ill love you forever#the way i fell off my chair and scrambled to read the rest of this ask was insane. friendship.? im so awkward but i'll be here for u homie#i love noritoshi headcanons..#i eat them up like candy...#.... my cult member is moving up the unspoken ranks i made up while making this cult.....#as for ino and kashimo. i dont know much about them.#but i like the bits i do know! i like ino's energy.... he reminds me of an excitable puppy from what ive seen..#i may draw more characters if i grow obsessed. i mean infatuated. or if they make noritoshi look good.#or if you do a damn good job at convincing me#but unfortunately. i was persuaded into a blood pact with my second in command to wait for the anime to finish then watch it with him then.#back to nori though. we are definitely together in this. i fucking understand the drought. pinterest keeps giving me geto#and yes. hes good too. BUT NOT THE MEOW MEOW I'M SCAVANGING FOR#THATS NOT MY STUCK UP BABYGIRL WHO'D SCOWL AT ME FOR PRONOUNCING WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE WRONG....#btw peep the orange for pumpkins or something#happy halloween my awesome cult#null rot
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okay so obviously i know that twp will break us (we all know that's true) but idk about ya'll but i'm at least grateful that i can prepare myself mentally for the pain bc like imagine picking up twp randomly thinking it's gonna be a fun little series??? like honey u have a long shot coming here
#FOR REAL THOUGH#like ofc it will still be fun but mainly angsty AF#but imagine you have no clue what it's about#u just start reading like wait a minute this shit is hurtful#like yes. yes it is.#:â((((#the last king of faerie#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#dru blackthorn#ash morgenstern#the wicked powers#tlkof#twp#tsc
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thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!
rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.
favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple
last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms
currently reading:
Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.
Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good
i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).
currently watching:
The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot
i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it
i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying
idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.
currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn
coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea
hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.
current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.
i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.
i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss
@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!
#necrotic ramblings#tag game#!!!! ty sm for tagging me in this aaaaa i love tag games#also sashene the omegaverse worldbuilding thing you're working on sounds so cool.#i *love* well built omegaverse worlds so much that consider real world dynamics and mechanics. cannot wait#sorry tagging random ppl is awkward i rlly don't have many mutuals yet#but i see all the lil ppl who mass like/reblog my stuff at once and i love all of you.#i do recognize who consistently interacts with my stuff. i see it all.#idk how to be cool mutual friends with ppl tho. socialization isn't my forte#which is weird bc it *used* to be. idk what happpened.#i had to text my groupchat for their tumblr handles so i could make it to nine whole ppl#ty alice ronnie and skye for being my sacrifices <3 y'all have to suffer with knowing my batcest blog now.#the lance brunner idea is plaguing me though i think it's really funny#i've had it in my head since i read the comic he's in. bc there's only one. after seeing posts about him#he's fucking ridiculous but. i see potential i won't lie#this was delightful tho i miss doing tag games. 10/10.
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THAT ROGER DESIGN IS SO GOOD I WANNA EAT YOUR ART
YOU DRAW SO GOOD!
oki have a nice day sorry if i bothered you
TYSMM SOBBINGGG WAILING /POS
#its okay you didnt bother me#whenever people come into my inbox i get very giddy#please talk to me in my inbox to whoever may read this... i do not bite i prommy#nyuyaps#TY THOUGH you are very sweet
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hurling the security guard out of the fucking window WHERE are infinitely more relevant characters tome and shou ?? where is their official art and merch ?? where's dimple in his regular, more fun form ???
#i don't even hate actual yoshioka cause we. dont actually know anything about him i think ??#i hate official art!him and fanon!him#even though you Were him in canon for all of 2 seconds you will never be Him (dimple) in my eyes !!!!#anyways. besides that i love the new official art ty for the food after my 2hs of reading uni stuff ñam ñam#mopposting#mob psycho 100#dimple yoshioka enthusiasts pls dont kick me but i just don't understand youđ
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hi i just wanted to let you know that a popular uquiz exists that s something like "what are you the god of?" and the first 3 questions are like those in your patron sait uquiz. i don t actually know which came first but i ll assume yours. i suppose it could be coincidence or maybe they re popular uquiz question and idk about that. https://uquiz.com/quiz/EDCZbp/what-are-you-the-god-of
haha! whoa! um! yeah! those are my questions for sure! i don't know which one came first either and i would like to give the benefit of the doubt since i only posted mine a couple weeks ago but. you're right. i do not think that starting the quiz off asking the user how they react to a dying bird with the same three poetic options is a particularly popular uquiz convention. everything's changed just slightly but it's giving "copy my homework but don't make it obvious that you copied it"... i left a little note in the free response section in case they read those saying that it's fine for them to use my questions as inspo but i'd like them to credit me if they do. not mad just disappointed... the quiz description saying "Sorry I talk like I own a poetry blog on Tumblr I this lmao I just like feeling fancy" kinda got me though. yeah man i bet the questions you got from a guy who linked his poetry blog on tumblr sound like they're from someone who owns a poetry blog on tumblr dot com. i would love to invite you to come and feel fancy in this beautiful world with me man you just gotta credit the aforementioned poetry blog on tumblr...
#ty for letting me know anon i rlly appreciate it <3#not expecting anything to change it is near-impossible to read every result if your quiz blows up. the metrics go insane sometimes#but if anyone happens to know who made that one and wants to let them know that i would like credit that would be awesome <3#if we just had the parallel thinking moment of all time with those questions then man. that's crazy.#somehow i don't think that's what happened though...#silly. did you not want the rest of my questions man? only took three of them? u didn't want the stained glass? the cool heart one??#you didn't care for the creature? :(#my quizzes#my uquizzes#uquiz#ask
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what if i started posting my other fandoms and my ocs even more
#a talking bunny#i admit i dont have many thoughts abt dca or fnaf rn#i still love the dca but. fnaf is kind of smth im starting to fall out of love with#its just getting more and more cliche and confusing and i dont like what we know abt the secret of the mimic#and i have a lot of complicated (/neg) feelings on the dca fandom too that i wont get into publicly#idk. will i leave the fandom? maybe who knows- as of right now i'm not leaving (i've been stepped back for a long time though)#but in the future? possibly ive thought abt it a lot#why stay somewhere if its not bringing you joy and just upsetting you more than anything else. yknow??#food for thought i suppose#apologies for the rambling tags!! ty for reading to anyone that did read all of these
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Okay so..-
Was using my pocket book one day when I got the urge to make a character with big curly hair and- and made her (one the first draft I took one look at her and saw Rose Quartz- and loudly groooaned! IT WASN'T INTENTIONAL I SWEAR OAGIEIFASOFISN)
So now I have a new oc (which I have little of in the first place lol); her name is Titilayo, she mainly goes by Titi.
Here, have a long spiel and random facts bout her I had while making her (as I rambled them to @tamblerdraws lol):
She has a bigger than life personality, loving life and everything in it; from people, to animals, to plants. She's massive big sister energy and loves her friends and family more than anything. She loves every day and month and year, enjoying the fun things in life while also feeling content.
However, she has a deep struggle with change (have decided the cause of it yet), and dreads every second when the topic of age or elderly futures come up. She fears losing the people she loves in any shape or form whether it'd be losing touch, arguments, or their passing; so she ends up being extremely clingy and slightly overprotective of those she holds dear (which is a lot of people). Any change that causes long-lasting effects she's paranoid by (like going skydiving vs moving somewhere else, she'd rather go skydiving).
This stems over to plants too, as Titi runs a succulent shop, and only succulents. She never sells just flowers because they don't last as long in comparison. But she loves her job and tending to her plants.
She does have pets though! She's against owning a cat or dog for herself since they don't live for that long (in her mind). Credit for the names goes to Tambler (ty Tambler you genius): Ouroboros is a Rosy Boa snake, based on the type of snake the ouroboros is (but the other species of snake is really big and didn't want to draw all that lol). The name representing the eternal cycle of death & rebirth, which is Titi's brand of eternity, or never-changing. They live for about 30 years, so I think she saw it as a long enough time to own one. Her second pet is a Greek tortoise named Mikey (because Mikey would be her favorite tmnt turtle). They live for about 50 years but can live for 150-200 years. She gets Mikey when she is really young, so he's her life-long pet. Greek tortoise are also so itty bitty; it's adorable.
Last fact, and funfact, of her is that she's cupioromantic. She is naturally an affectionate person to people and loves displaying her love for them. However, the romantic attraction she think she desires is lost when put into practice, so she's living her single life. The joke me and my friend both cackled at was when I said, "yeah, no, she has +10 exes." What can I say, she's a pretty lady. Okay that's enough rambling from me-
#Titilayo#moon's oc#when i first made her my mind straight up said: I just wanna make a pretty woman that gave people gay panic#was it successful? idk lol#she is beautiful tho so i think i succeeded their lmao#i love drawing her so much already#even though im trying to get used to drawing her hair and curls#stars- ill have to look up refs of rose quartz dammit-#sorry for the brightness im too tired to fix the exposure so#ty again tambler for the names & listening to me ramble#sorry if you can't read my handwriting#i am proud of those tattoos tho
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pairing: akatsuki hyoga x gn!reader (no prns)
request: i wanted to request something of hyoga with a s/o that's reserved just like him, and that even though they were always together, everyone assumed that they were just close friends and nothing more. however it turns out they're married! and everyone is surprised by this; especially moz and homura who thought they knew hyoga to an extent at least lol
warnings: hyoga is very sweet, that's truly about it he's just insanely sweet.
wc: 1100
The two of you were deeply in love. You knew he loved you and he knew you loved him backâ and that was enough for both of you. After all these years, there was of course still lots to talk about, but hardly a need to talk about anything. As long as you were together, you couldnât ask for any more. You had originally met each other at the same dojo, so often people found you training together and naturally as you did things together, you were close to similar people.
The two of you did share a living space and sleep together so while originally you assumed people would catch on that you were a couple rather quickly, considering the lack of affection you display in public the two of you soon realized they probably thought you were just roommates. However, there wasnât a true need to bring it up all of a sudden, not to mention it would be slightly awkward after all this timeâ so you figured youâd just wait until someone asked.
Now, behind closed doors he would kiss you first thing in the morning and you would tell him you loved him before you slept each night and there was no doubt that the two of you were terribly in love. And that was perfectly fine.
Yet, if there was one thing that saddened you from time to time, it would be the missing ring on your left hand.Â
Hyoga wasnât one to wear his ring often, all the way back from 3700 years ago, but you were. You had it on all the timeâ to the point where you could hardly get it off your finger. Although you loved that it showed you were his and he was yours, you truly just loved the way it made you feel safe. It was nothing extravagant, and you asked for it that way. You wanted something that you could keep on while training, that wouldnât get in the way, so it was just a band with a small diamond engraved in it. To many it truly wasnât much, but to you, it meant absolutely the world. To you, that little ring made you feel like Hyoga was with you wherever you went and in danger, he would come flying. You absolutely trusted he still would, but your hand did feel empty without the ring.
It was as if he read your mind. It was early in the morning when the two of you were taking a break while training alone. He carefully took off his gloves and took your left hand and the gentle touch made your heart flutter.
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked.
He didnât reply, but he took out a ring and slipped it right onto your ring finger. It was just a band, no diamond, no gem. Just a band that was exactly the size of your left-hand ring finger.
âSorry itâs nothing more,â Hyoga said softly, then laughed a little. The look on his face was soft and gentle, one that he would only show you. âPerhaps this is worse than it was without.â
You were in love with him, you had always been and yet you had fallen all over again. He was the one for you and he will always be.
âNo, I absolutely adore it!â you said, immediately pulling your hand back just in case he took it away. He chuckled again and you slowly brought your hand back out to look at it on your hand. You loved it so much you couldnât have the words to express it. The largest diamond in the world couldnât possibly compare to this simple hoop of metal on your ring finger. âHow⊠did you?â
âI asked Senkuu and Kaseki helped make it,â he said. âIt was a slight hassle trying to get your ring size again.â
âWhen did you get it? While I was asleep?â you asked, absolutely impressed.
âYes,â he said. âI was afraid to wake you up a couple of times. Also it didnât help that you sleep on your side a lot.â
âOkay, but arenât you going to tell?â Senkuu suddenly said.
âTell what?â you asked, ignoring the fact that you didnât know he was listening in.
âNo.â Hyoga said firmly, purely out of embarrassment.
âHe made the ring himself,â Senkuu said. âLate at night, after you were asleep, for multiple nights he was working on it.â
Your head spun back to look at him. âNo way,â you said.
In all of your years of being married, you had not seen him look so flustered ever.
âHe got it perfect in a few tries though. Considering the tools we have to work with that itself was an insane feat,â Senkuu said, and started walking away. âOkay, sorry to bother, Iâll leave you be.â
âI love you so much,â you said to Hyoga, looking directly into his eyes.
âItâs just a piece of metal really, so I thought itâd make me feel a little more part of it if I made it,â he said, avoiding eye contact.
âWhy werenât you going to tell me?â you asked.
âItâs embarrassing,â he said. âAlso, it was just for my self-satisfaction⊠it doesnât change the fact that itâs just a band.â
You didnât even bother to reply because you knew that he knew you didnât think that for a second. You knew that he knew that made you love the ring a million times more now. Perhaps that was whyâ perhaps he felt bad if that made you feel like you had to keep it on. How terribly sillyâ he could have found it on the ground some random day and you would still have it on for the rest of your life if he had given it to you.
âThank you,â you said, giving him a kiss. âIâll protect it with my life.â
âPlease do not,â he said, returning the kiss. âItâs supposed to protect you.â
BONUS
From that moment on, you realized you did want people to know you were married to him after all. You were so insanely proud to have him as your husband, not to mention you didnât need anyone else falling for him either. He was in love with you, he would spend nights making a ring for youâ not anyone else.
So later that day when you were having a meal with Homura and Moz, you made sure to flaunt your brand new ring, surprising them both.
Hyoga stayed silent, but it was obvious he was your partner.
Today, it was absolutely obvious that the two of you were in love.
#hyoga x reader#akatsuki hyoga x reader#hyoga akatsuki x reader#hyoga#akatsuki hyoga#hyoga akatsuki#dr stone x reader#dcst x reader#request#THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST#TY SO MUCH FOR READING#im so sorry this deviated from the original ask quite a bit i fear#i had so much fun writing it though so i hope you enjoyed omg#hyoga is even sweeter than i usually make him to be i fear this will not sit right with a lot of people i hope it is ok#i was really worried originally i didn't know what to write about but i think i got it to work#I LOVE HIM SM#also i imagine his expression to be the one in my pfp when he laughs a little or chuckles#truly a sweetheart
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(//i don't normally do text but cw in the tags erm. i went a little off track)
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii lightbulb#daily lightbulb#scribbly bulb#god. ohh my god. im not doing so hot yall#once again i apologize for suddenly halting on posting; ive had a couple rough days recently and it's constantly crashed my motivation to#even QUEUE SCREENSHOTS. my mental health has been so messed up too and i just had to take a step back#for starters. happy birthday to my baby sister that was born yesterday. like legit. im a big sister now#it's hard getting used to it; i was never good with change#secondly; like in the 100 post i've gained a new fixation thats unfortunately pushed ii to the side#i have adhd and autism so its hard for me to keep up with such a daily routine that includes a media i may end up losing interest in#i LOVE lightbulb and i LOVE ii i just.....need a bit#thirdly; i actually havent seen inside out 2 yet. might end up watching it this week or next week though which will be fun#while waiting in the hospital inside out was playing on the room tv so i wanted to draw smth to get my thoughts out#inside out is one of my favorite. modern? disney movies. rlly means a lot to me.#sorry for ranting i shouldnt dump all my life problems on yall LMAO you just wanna see lb pics#anyways posting will try and resume! cant afford to slack off with ii 15 being so close#if anyone is reading this ty sm for liking my silly blog and i hope you have a good day/night#102
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a hug from bby for u đ
#ty all sm#yeah I definitely hope I wonât go to jail for eXtREmiSm#for the oh so dangerous gayness#itll be hard to watch new episodes and read new fic chapters from there#though i might build a prosperous tattoo business there .D#but i hope ill stay here and i hope others will stay safe from this inhumane fucking law#and i hope ill be able to keep posting here since you guys are really awesome#so have a soft baby hug#luv u#stay safe
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kay so im currently reading good girl, bad blood in anticipation of the AGGGTM tv show coming out soon and i Have tm to share my findings...
(mild spoilers under the cut but they aren't even really spoilers but oh well)
im just going to rewrite the quote because it actually had me howling with laughter at a dead tree.
(in chapter 9)
[Ravi has handed Pip a Coco pops cereal bar]. "Eat that please, madam. Now."
Pip shot him a look of surrender and unpeeled the crackling wrapper.
"Breakfast of kings, that is," said Ravi, "Nice and softened by my arse-heat."
I love this book so fucking much! I haven't laughed at a book this hard possibly ever
#bookblr#bookish#bookworm#agggtm#ggbb#GGBB spoilers#a good girls guide to murder#good girl bad blood#genuinely cant imagine reading the us versions#as far as i can tell they are just worse in every conceivable way#like im pretty sure they get rid of all of the pipisms in the us version#a Crime because pip is hilarious and i love her#emma meyer i have faith in you please dont let me down#also hello and welcome to my longest post so far i think#at least in terms of tags#hopefully anyone avoiding spoilers has therefore avoided spoilers#ive done all i can i swear#i think anyway - i used to exclusively reblog stuff on my old acc#if you got this far... why?#i love you though ty ty
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