#two major events of this year on my blog

[transmechanicus]

this is. probably a very personal question.

Is it worth it? Transitioning? In spite of it all?

Completely, utterly, and absolutely. I’m one of those ppl who knew i was trans since i was like 8. I found out when i was probably 13/14 what transgender meant, but recoiled from it because i could not imagine a world that would accept me or where i would be happy with the result. At 15 i met my first other trans person, and they became my friend and partner and the first person to ever know i was trans. Being around them, known by them, was such a colossal psychological relief and source of joy unlike anything i had known before. It made separating from them after graduation all the more excruciating to lose that one person i had trusted with that truth.

Sometime over the next two years i came out to my Mom, but nothing really changed, and i had more or less resolved to rot and die under the identity i had been born into. I let my undergrad studies chew me up, neglected all but the most necessary body maintenance, and spent every moment outside work or class buried in video games or books. At some point something snapped out of place, or perhaps back into place. I knew i didn’t want to die like this. I wanted something more for my life and my flesh than being a half dead servitor stocking yogurt. I wanted to transition, and however slowly, however long it took, that’s what i resolved to do.

It took a while. I had no real finances, no privacy, and little independence. I was coming from a white low-self-expression, high-control household. I “messed up” while base coating warhammer models one time and gave myself black nails. My dad berated me about it for days before trying to pin my hands down and sand the paint off (didn’t work, thank you automotive primer). When i was ~22 i got my ears pierced, basically the first permanent part of my transition, and i had never known as much joy as i did driving home knowing the pain was a step of permanent progress. Around this time 2019/2020 i started being out online, more vocal about being transgender as opposed to just having a relatively inexpressive fandom blog with no info beyond my name.

When i was 24, two years ago i came out to my dad, and a week later i left for grad school halfway across the country. I had an apartment all to myself, and my own source of income. I spent my spare change building up a wardrobe of new clothes that i actually liked. I got my first year of grad school done mostly without anything remarkable. Went to some queer events at my school. Found a partner. Got loved to bits for a while. Re-came out to my parents over the summer, and this time it stuck. Started HRT that fall, 2023. Came out to my classmates and coworkers and was rewarded with support and acceptance. Lost the partner. Devastated. Resolve to get even hotter and cooler. Smash out 3 piercings and a tattoo inside a week. Develop personal fashion sense. Attend research conference. Get better at makeup. Go to some concerts. Increase HRT. Tiddy Arc. Buy bra with a supportive bestie. Start weekly therapy. Increase HRT. Cosplay at a major convention. Schedule another tattoo. More HRT. Bra no longer optional. Present day. Tattoo on Wednesday. 90% of progress packed into the last year or so. Undeniably hotter, happier, and more self-expressive than anything in the last 24 years prior.

Transitioning is more than worth it, it brings me so much relief and joy every day no matter how shitty my day is otherwise, and while i have known doubt, i have never for an instant known regret.

There is still time🖤🏳️‍⚧️💕

[wangxianficrecs]

Posting Schedule, Changes & A Small Break

~*~

My fellow wangxianists.

I am very sorry that I have to make this announcement, but I need to take a little break.

Let me start by promising that I will not abandon this blog and I will definitely continue posting, but I really do need a break. For the past two years, I managed to keep this blog running with daily fic recs, no matter what was happening in my own life. I prepared the queue for when I had a major surgery last year and for when I went on a long vacation this year, but currently the queue is empty and I can't bring myself to hastily throw another post together just so that I will not miss my daily fic rec.

In the beginning of August, I moved across the country and started a new job. It's my dream job and I worked hard for literal years to have this opportunity, but it's also very demanding and I often come home and continue working. I just don't have as much time anymore to read fics and then prepare a fic rec post (write the rec itself, make the graphic, format everything, etc.) and I found myself only hastily reading whatever short fic came across my dash and then quickly throwing a post together and it's becoming an unfortunate pattern. I don't want fic-reading burnout. I love reading fic and I love this fandom very much. I also still want to have enough time to write my own fanfics. It's my dearest hobby and I often neglected it to keep the WangxianFicRecs queue running.

Needless to say, things have to change and here's what I decided so far:

No more daily fic rec posts

From now on, I will add all posts to the queue. My own recs, Follower Recs, Proud Author Spotlights, Event Boosts, everything will get added to the queue. So on some days, e.g. you might get one of my recs or your might get a Follower Rec. And if there is no post for a day or two, that's fine too.

Bringing back old recs

There are over 1.400 bookmarks in the WangxianFicRecs Collection and we made posts for all of them. Going forward, whenever the queue is looking a little sad and empty, I will queue some of our old recs similar to Throwback Recs. I'm sure there are more than a few recs you missed originally.

Housekeeping

I will take a break for at least a week (I'll add all submissions in the inbox to the queue) and take some time to think about how I want to run this blog going forward. I've also promised myself to finally clean up our tag page and maybe get a better system sorted for making the graphics.

In the meantime, thank you for your support and being such lovely followers! I really love running this blog and I want to keep loving it going forward.

Love, Kay.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Brainrot Housekeeping: An update

I don't know how many times I've tried to find the best way to say this, but I'll put the major updates upfront and go into detail under the cut :')

To get straight to the point, I'm going to be retiring from this blog in a few days.

No, I'm not leaving the fandom

Yes, I'm going to keep creating! Just not on this blog

No, I'm not going to delete this blog

Yes, I'm still going to be relatively active as far as regular fandom activity goes

To go a little more into detail, I've had an ongoing situation at my workplace that quickly spiraled in all the wrong ways over the last month. I ended up having to resign as a last-ditch effort to preserve my physical safety, which obviously means that now my life is going to look very different from what it has for nearly the last two years.

My job (which I did love doing) involved a setup that allowed me the kind of time and space to pump out the amount of content that I have since I started this blog. Now that that's changing, I won't have the consistent, scheduled blocks of idle time to keep up my past posting schedule. Creativity will happen irregularly in my free time, and I'll want to spend it differently.

Which brings me to the future of my creative endeavors and involvement with the fandom - I don't think I'll be able to truly understand the impact this has had on my life for years to come. Having a community with all of you, getting back into my passion for writing and storytelling and creating after six years of giving up on it, finding out what it's like to watch a shared love and enjoyment for characters unfold into something real and exciting ... it's meant the world to me, and I can't thank every person who's been here for it enough. There's no way I'll leave any of this behind if I can help it.

So, no, I won't be writing for the Arcana M6 anymore, but I'm not leaving. I will still be running the Vesuvia Weekly event blog (and, if I have the brain farts for it, occasionally contributing my own submissions) and I will still be active in the Arcana Renaissance server. Not only will I be keeping this blog up, I'll also continue moving all of my writing posts onto Ao3 as well for a more cohesive, effective archive for anybody who just wants to browse M6 content. I won't be taking writing prompts anymore, but I'll do my best to stay on top of answering asks!

As for what I'll be doing next, to be honest, I'm actually pretty excited. I've had an idea rattling around in my head for a while that's begging to be written and illustrated and composed for, and I've finally reached the mental space to do it. I'm already in love with my main cast of characters and the dystopian, fantasy-punk-ish world they live in. If I ever manage to get my ideas off the ground, I'll be more than happy to invite anyone interested to watch it develop and unfold. :D

(And no, this will not involve Dorian at any point lol. I'd rather learn to code and build my own website)

If you've read this far, I can't thank you enough. You've taught me life lessons and prompted me to grow as a person in creativity, kindness, community, and joy. I've learned what it means to hold love and space for others in new ways. You've enriched my life in important and tangible ways and you'll always have a piece of my gratitude. I never would've imagined an experience like this, but boy am I glad it's happened.

Until next time!

brainrot

[hermitessun]

personal observations

- while uttara ashadha struggles in their younger years, it finds major ease and in some cases, even glory in adulthood.

purva bhadrapada is the “younger blessed one”. as a result their younger years are spent in ease and peace as well as (my observation) a lot of support in the 3rd house (school, siblings, friends). Things work out for them naturally. However !from my observation! Adult years tend to be a bit more of a struggle, or perhaps they go through one major form of trauma in their adult years (as opposed to Uttara ashadha, who sort of got that “done with” in their early years). not to fear monger by the way, this is strictly my observation

- Nakshatras like Rohini and Revati, especially in the moon, tend to be blessed in some really noticeable way, through beauty, one significant event that somehow changed their early years etc. they always have some kind of advantage from what I’ve seen. That’s not to say that other nakshatras are completely in the trenches of course but I do notice that kind of plus point that is given to these two lucky nakshatras. Rohini and Revati don’t lead “perfect lives” either. But it never looks like it on the outside, hence why they attract some serious envy

random side note: Blair would be rohini, and Serena would be Revati. This helps you understand their dynamic better. in a previous blog, I explained how Rohini is a polarising dark feminine, as rohinis are typically quite scandalous individuals, very polarising but attractive people. Revatis on the other hand are more of a “white swan”. revatis aren’t controversial, they are actually quite liked, also as attractive as rohini, but their likeable-ness isn’t as “debatable” as it is with rohini. Another reason could be that it’s because revati is very humble as a person, they smile a lot, don’t mind interacting with people. very kind as opposed to rohini who doesn’t seem as humble and goodhearted as revati at first glance, since they aren’t as much of a social butterfly. that’s why people don’t like to give them the benefit of the doubt. However it’s safe to say that both nakshatras benefit from pretty privilege in the same amount, but in their own ways

- Cat yoni nakshatras (in the sun) are really attractive. Like this is what people mean by “that one attractive cousin” or “that hot person” people go to the function for. however especially with girls. they’re two distinct kinds of attractiveness, but ultimately, are always linked together somehow, for example in a family setting as “the attractive cousins”. Ashlesha and punarvasu.

[alpaca-clouds]

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

[joseigamer]

Interview with the Vampire Manga Adaptation (Yoake no Vampire) by Udoh Shinohara + DL Link

DL LINK HERE

Happy new episode of IWTV AMC day! Today though, I want to share something I've teased earlier on my blog, which is the Japanese manga adaptation of the Interview with the Vampire gothic horror novel. See under the cut for more details!

It came out in 1994, a bit after the movie, but it only referenced the book itself. It consisted of a single volume made up of three chapters, so events are condensed and abridged, and it skips Part II in Eastern Europe. The first two chapters were scanlated into English by a group named Trine and distributed on the aarinfantasy forums in 2007, but the third chapter was kind of lost to time, especially after all the links to the raw Japanese scans went down years ago. However, I discovered that a now defunct Portuguese scanlation group did the whole thing (individual credits included in the .zip), and I was able to recover chapter three, use heavily cross-checked and edited MTL (PT-ENG), and deliver the final product to you all. See more notes about this process or where to read the PT version in the readme file included in the .zip! It's not 100% perfect and I would not call it true 'scanlation' obviously, so if anyone can do a better job I welcome them to! I hope more visibility on this manga makes the raws become available again so a true JPN-ENG translation can be done on the last chapter!

This manga obviously has major IWTV book spoilers, but it does NOT include anything from later books in the series and is honestly quite faithful overall. It even includes Lestat's father. I might actually call it slightly gayer than the book, since Louis and Armand become more obviously in love. I would recommend it to anyone who's watching the series and hasn't read the book yet, as well as to anyone who enjoys the books alone! The art style is very 90s, but it has some really beautiful visuals sometimes, especially with Claudia. I hope everyone enjoys reading it!

[stararch4ngelqueen]

Self indulgent but … thanksgiving w a gf who loves the holidays but doesn’t have family or friends to spend them with ?

This is really small and super quick, I hope you enjoy it! I do hope you have a wonderful day! (Also went ahead and incorporated two things I made today just because my mind is too lazy to think of anything else. If you don’t like them, womp womp/jk Pretend Gotham War dosent exist)

—

Time written - 8:09 p.m

—

“You sure I’m not invading in on their celebration?” You vocalize your concern for about the fiftieth time after smoothing out your final layer of fluffy, whipped concoction for your dessert dish.

“If anything, Alfred will appreciate one less dessert to make.” Jason responds, casually leaning across the countertop across from you, watching you work your magic on making one of your miracle dishes. While you didn’t necessarily have to bring a dessert, you insisted as a show of good faith.

“It’ll give the old man a reason to sit down for once,” Jason adds, referring to Alfred’s insistence upon waiting by everyone until they got full plates and thoroughly enjoyed a majority of their meals.

You kept asking the same question, just with different rephrasing of words. You were nervous, Jason could see that by the way you smoothed the silicone spatula over the top of your dessert for the tenth time, insisting perfection on something that already tasted heavenly.

Jason would know. He’s always your designated taste tester.

You went above and beyond with everything you did; Making your own whipped cream, using Madagascar vanilla beans, making your own pudding base from scratch.

“Babe.”

“Hm?” You respond with a concentrated stare on your dish.

“Look at me real quick.”

You spare a short glance up at him, putting up a sweet front of a smile. “What? I’m almost done, Jay.”

“I know,” Jason curts. “I’m sure they’ll love it.”

You nod, swallowing before focusing again on the top of your dish. You picked up the recipe from an online blog article about three years ago; an upgrade on a traditional banana pudding using heavy cream and expensive flavoring, the dessert reeking of pure holiday that had to be shared with the rest of the world.

“Are you sure this looks okay?” You ask, feeling like the top of the dessert needed a lot more than wafer cookies and bananas. Nuts? Caramel drizzle?

“It looks great,” Jason insists, approaching your side of the counter, settling his hand along your hip. “Scratch that. It looks delicious, incredible, mouthwatering. All the good words, sweetheart.”

You can’t help but smile, your cheeks warming with his compliments. Raising your whipped cream spoon to his mouth, you tap his bottom lip before giving him a kiss, hearing his muffled chuckle shortly after.

“Decadent,” He adds, licking his bottom lip of any remaining, perfectly sweet cream. “Perfect. Believe me, Dick and Alfred will never see any banana pudding the same way again.”

You could only hope so, giving him another smile. You liked making this dish, bringing it to your work during little dinner parties. The loudest compliment was a dish scraped empty, yet no one ever asked for the recipe. No one wondered who made it, no one really asked.

“You sure it looks perfect?” Again, your doubts can’t help but have you repeat your broken vinyl record. “I want it to be perfect.”

“It is perfect,” Jason gently reassures with firm sentiment, giving your cheek a soft squeeze. You set your mind to something, you keep at it until you’re perfectly satisfied. As stubborn as it makes you, you always try above your best.

This was your first official gathering with the entirety of Jason’s family. It wasn’t your first, as you’ve been over a few times before for pizza and burgers for movie nights, but never with every single Bat related member at a large, ornately decorated table in an extravagant dining room.

Especially, never with Bruce. Not until tonight, where they’d have a little private event to themselves at the manor. A rare occasion where masks and secret identities weren’t needed. Sometimes, criminal behaviors didn’t allow them a break, so this was truly a treat.

Dick could be himself, fussing over preferences of pumpkin and sweet potato to an annoyed Tim. Babs would scoff her amusement while recording them to show off during Christmas, and the rest would gawk or scoff, chatting amongst themselves or listening in on such a boisterous conversation.

This time, the special guest would be you; the girl Red Hood was sweet on long before you knew his name, becoming the sole guardian of every important identity of the Wayne family.

“Trust me. They invited you, it’ll just be us. It was a big vote with no one opposing.”

Those words brought a more comforting, genuine smile to your face, one Jason could tell was more truthful. Holidays were joyfully dreadful to spend alone in an empty home, the promise of a manor full of friendly faces happy to see you, happy to spend time with you and incorporate you into a tradition you desperately craved was a godsend. It felt too good to be true.

The best part of it all was how much Jason understood. He didn’t celebrate these kinds of holidays when he was a child. No foster family, or even his own mother, could spare enough money to provide grand meals and hours of spending time with people you care for.

It took him a long time to get used to it, he wanted that for you as well. You deserved it after all, they all liked you in their own unique way.

“I’m sure a solid nine out of ten attendants will enjoy those sugar cookie martinis,” Jason murmurs while adjusting a few strands of your hair, reminding you of the one underage family member that ‘tolerated’ your presence.

“Do they got a full stock of vanilla vodka?”

“Course they do. Personally know Bruce has a ton of amaretto.”

“‘Personally?’”

“All those bottles for our dates, babe. Grabbed them all from somewhere.”

[pupyuj]

→ “temporary fix.” || yoon seeun x reader fic.

— being friends with yoon seeun means doing whatever it takes to help her forget that the fact that her ex has become significantly happier without her, so you give her exactly what she needs...

word count: 3.5k.

dynamic: dom!bottom!yoon seeun x sub!top!virgin!reader.

content warnings: smut, fingering, nipple play, a bit of hair pulling, this is surprisingly very tame despite the image i had for it initially oh—

requested? : nope.

a/n: my first stayc fic <3 i enjoyed making this, and i hope you guys like it! sorry if there are major errors!! i was really hoping i finished this way earlier but alas... life 🥲 anyway this is just one of my many gifts for you for getting this blog to reach 1k!! you're all amazing n i love you and i'll see you guys in the next fics and the [REDACTED] hehehe 👀

“she has to be doing this on purpose at this point.”

you say, as your best friend seeun stares bitterly at her ex-girlfriend from far away. chaeyoung sat on the poolside with her ankles in the water and she was laughing loudly at whatever the hell her other friends were doing in the pool. there was some kind of longing in seeun’s eyes and you knew what it meant, it was easy to figure out after all. seeun missed chaeyoung, and deeply regrets leaving her for a reason she has yet to disclose with you still. even after two years of the break-up in question.

“i mean, come on! this is the fourth party where she was ‘coincidentally’ invited to along with her ex—you.” 

you do try to desperately cheer seeun up. you have never once liked seeing her in despair. but something about seeing chaeyoung smiling that widely, shining that brightly, and laughing that loudly does something to seeun’s brain. and it was always nothing good. either this night will end with seeun crying in your arms about how heartbroken she is for hurting chaeyoung the way she did, or neither of you will speak about the event and just sit solemnly on her bed eating pizza and drinking homemade smoothies while a movie plays in the background.

you hope that it will be something different tonight. maybe seeun will be smiling for once! you wanted her and chaeyoung to completely end things on good terms. you knew seeun wasn’t in love with chaeyoung because she had said so many times before, but before they were girlfriends, they were friends. and you knew that it was that them not being able to rekindle their friendship after their break-up was the real reason why seeun always gets so upset whenever she sees chaeyoung.

jayoon, one of chaeyoung’s friends, looks across the pool and meets gazes with seeun, who visibly freezes up. jayoon grins and waves at seeun excitedly, making the other girls as well as chaeyoung turn their heads in curiosity. sumin and yeeun wave at seeun as well, while sieun was rather surprised to see seeun being in the same place as chaeyoung. speaking of which, chaeyoung herself stared at seeun. the latter was convinced that her ex was going to look away, or look at her in disgust or something along those emotions but… chaeyoung smiled softly at her.

kind as ever. and fuck, seeun wanted to cry.

“(y/n)... can we leave?”

you looked at chaeyoung and your best friend back and forth, unsure of what to do.

“are you sure…? what if yujinnie looks for you—”

“i need to go, (y/n),” seeun pries her gaze away from chaeyoung. her eyes were brimming with tears and she grabbed your wrist tightly. “please. i can’t be in here.” seeun puts her head on your shoulder as her tears fall and conveniently, a crowd forms in front of the two of you, effectively hiding her from chaeyoung’s view.

“okay… let’s go.”

seeun wipes her tears away with the back of her hand and smiles at some passing stranger briefly before pulling you towards the front door. she bids goodbye to everybody like normal, expressing faux regrets and even using you ‘not feeling well enough to stay’ as an excuse. you play along of course, you would gladly drop anything for your best friend. yujin was pretty sad that her favorite people had to leave, but she was pretty pre-occupied with stopping a drunken jiwon and gaeul from doing keg stands to really care so she merely waved goodbye before the two of you disappeared behind the front door.

seeun wordlessly climbs into your passenger seat, strapping on the seatbelt and leaning back. you couldn’t read her expression, and it was scary. you decided not to ask about it, however, and pulled out of yujin’s driveway before driving away. seeun had your denim jacket covering her thighs from the chill, and she was looking out the window—no doubt there were a million thoughts going through her head at the moment. thoughts you hoped she would find to share with you so you could take care of her.

like the good best friend that you were, and always have been.

“where are we going, (y/n)?” seeun asks eventually, now looking a bit annoyed as she scans the houses outside.

“huh? i’m taking you to your house.”

seeun looks at you like you’ve lost your mind, “what? no. i want to go to your place tonight.”

“oh… okay.”

you drove past seeun’s house and at the same time, seeun decided to pull out her phone. most likely to text one of her parents that she wasn’t going to come home. it was a normal occurrence, anyway. seeun’s parents originally didn’t like sending their kid off to sleep at another person’s place—a stranger at that!—but you gained their trust eventually… and soon enough, a young yoon seeun found herself staying over your place twice every week.

nowadays, seeun doesn’t even have to tell her parents anything. they know she is always under your care.

“did you want to eat anything?” you asked as the two of you entered your house. it was dark and quiet, but not the kind that scared you. seeun shook her head as she slipped out of her sneakers, then she stood properly, staring as you placed your car and house keys on the key hooks by the door.

“what?” you said. seeun looked at you with wonder in her eyes, then she merely smiles at you before making her way towards your room. the final glance she sends you before she completely disppeared behind a corner made your heart skip a beat, as much as you didn’t want it to.

you followed seeun to your bedroom, where was already digging through her own drawer for some fresh set of clothes. you decided to collapse on your bean bag chair, sighing blissfully at the feeling of being in the comfort of your own bedroom. seeun goes to your bathroom with some clothes in hand, barely closing the door behind her. sure, seeun said she didn’t want anything to eat when you asked her earlier, but you knew she would be grumbling about being hungry after about thirty minutes of laying silently on the bed with you, so you decided to go on your phone to browse some good food to order.

“are we watching a movie tonight, seeun?” you asked as you scrolled through your phone.

“up to you.” seeun replied.

you sighed, looking at your black tv screen. “i do not want to…” you muttered, now finding it too much of a hassle to look for food to eat and a movie to watch. you decided to melt further in your bean bag chair, blinking away your fatigue until seeun came back out of the bathroom, ruffling her soft hair as she held her neatly folded party clothes in her arms.

“freshen up, sleepyhead.” seeun took your hand and pulled you up with much difficulty. seeun didn’t really think about how close the two of you would be, physically of course, before she pulled you up to your feet. right now, she could feel your breath on her face and your warmth on her skin—it all gave her goosebumps. seeun raises a hand and brushes a few stray hairs away from your face and… is she blushing?

“g-give me a minute.” you slipped past your best friend, grabbed a random combination of your usual sleepwear and disappeared insde the bathroom. your cheeks felt so hot, and your heart was beating erratically. what the fuck. you were afraid this would happen tonight. again.

truth to be told, lately you have been feeling a few things towards your very own best friend. you tsrtaed to find her prettier than normal, and sometimes you can’t even look or speak to her without your brain screaming at you like crazy. but you didn’t want to acknowledge it. you managed to convince yourself that you were just so terribly lonely that your heart has decided to ‘settle’ for your best friend. first of all, that was unacceptable considering seeun was hurting because of her ex-girlfriend! second, you knew seeun wouldn’t see you in that way, so why would you even bother?

and third, perhaps most importantly, one does not try to get into a romantic relationship with their best friend unless they want their heart to suffer the most gut-wrenching heartbreak ever. you cherished your heart too much to let yourself be hurt like that, so seeun? absolutely off limits!!

“i thought you said you didn’t wanna watch anything?” you teased as you walked out of the bathroom in some shorts and one of your big shirts. seeun was sitting on your bed, eyes glued to your tv screen as ‘clueless’ played.

“i had to find something to entertain me while you were taking your sweet time in there.” seeun pats the big empty space on your bed, beckoning you over. you settled beside her, relishing in the mingling feeling of your cold bed and your best friend’s warmth. seeun was closer to you than usual, or maybe you were overexaggerating… but then seeun hugs your arm, putting her chin on your shoulder… and with her lips so close to your skin, you couldn’t help but shiver.

“sorry i ruined your night. i know you wanted to be in that party,” seeun fidgeted with the hem of your shirt. “because of wonyoung, right? you guys have something, don’t you?” your best friend asked. she didn’t have to, though. she watched you develop this big stupid crush on the campus princess over the past few months, and she knew that she was the reason you were holding yourself back from fully committing all of your attention to the other girl.

seeun needed you, her best friend, especially at this time of her life.

“no, don’t worry about it. i’d rather be here, honestly. my head was starting to hurt.” you smiled at your best friend, surprising yourself by the close proximity. the tip of seeun’s nose nearly touched yours, making your breath hitch. it didn’t go unnoticed by seeun, of course, and her eyes flicker down to your lips.

your heart was hammering in your chest—this was really going to happen, isn’t it?

“thank you for being so willing to get me out of there. away from chaeyoung,” seeun whispered. a cold hand slips underneath your shirt, resting on your waist, and your best friend presses herseld up against you even more. an overly-sweet side hug, you were convinced.

that was until seeun climbed onto your lap, wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling you even closer as if that was possible.

“you’ll help me heal from her, right, (y/n)? even just for one night?” seeun asked. of course you weren’t stupid, you knew what she was implying.

a part of you wanted to resist. seeun was your best friend. surely everything will change if the two of you were to go through with this, right? and you didn’t want anything like that to happen between the two of you. but how could you resist? especially when seeun brushes your hair back, cradles your face in her hands, and runs her thumb across your lips so gently? and how could you even think of pushing her away when she leans down and kisses you?

how could you stop yourself from melting? warmth bloomed across your chest the longer seeun’s lips were on yours. kissing her was like biting into a cotton candy—it was sweet, so sweet, and you could never get enough. and so you ask for more, and more you do get.

eventually, seeun was laying down on the bed with you on top of her. she was touching and groping as her lips moved expertly in sync with yours. you didn’t know what to do. as much as you liked what you were doing with seeun, you had no idea how to move further from this. so, you pulled back, but not too far as seeun stopped you from doing so by clutching your shirt, trying desperately to pull you back in. “s-seeun… wait, how do i… what do i do?” you were embarrassed to be asking that kind of question in the middle of the act, and even more embarrassed seeing your best friend laugh at you. 

seeun was sweet about it, however. “i’ll help you, don’t worry.”

seeun kisses you again—one hand cupping your cheek and the other softly holding your wrist, guiding your hand all the way down her thighs, sneaking them in between and making you feel her cunt through her shorts. “touch me, (y/n). go on.” seeun whispers against your lips. and so you do—unzipping her jean shorts and slowly slipping your hand inside. you couldn’t believe you were touching your very own best friend’s pussy, and you couldn’t believe she was letting you! christ, she wasn’t just letting you, she was telling you to!

feeling her folds through the fabric of her panties, witnessing the slightest changes on seeun’s features as you did so. “come on… you can do better than that.” seeun said as she slightly bucked her hips into your hands. she was so desperate for your touch that she didn’t care that she looked ridiculous. she could never look like that to you though.

“a-are you sure…?” you just had to ask. seeun smiles softly at you, appreciating your intent but goddamn, she was so impatient that she didn't even reply. merely lifting her hips up and removing her shorts on her own, seeing that you weren’t going to do that anytime soon. you stared at your best friend incredulously as she threw her shorts to the side, all while smirking at your expression.

“still doubting what i want, (y/n)?” this time, seeun pulls off her shirt. she doesn’t let you ogle at her perfect body for too long before she takes your face in her hands and kisses you again. thankfully this time, you knew what to do with yourself, albeit barely. reaching behind seeun’s back and pulling off her bra, letting it fall off to the side on top of her discarded shorts. she tugs on the collar of your shirt, and immediately you took it off, also desperate to feel your best friend’s skin against yours.

“i always thought you were pretty, (y/n).” seeun says, her hands gliding along your back.

“i could say the same thing to you.” you said. you leaned back down, smiling briefly at your best friend before putting your lips on her neck, earning a soft moan. “is this okay?” you whispered against her skin. you only felt seeun nod before she leaned closer, clearly wanting you to continue, and so you do. you nipped and ran your tongue all over her neck until little red spots were blooming. perhaps you went overboard, but hearing seeun moan and softly call out your name as you did it just flipped a switch to your brain.

you couldn’t wait to touch her. to help her. to kiss her. tonight, she was yours. not to the little parts of chaeyoung that remained in her heart, but yours.

and you were going to make every single second of this worth it. for the both of you.

your lips trailed further down seeun’s body, quickly reaching her chest. you looked up at your best friend, searching for any sign of discomfort or uncertainty. there was none, so you proceeded with taking one of seeun’s boobs into your hand, gently squeezing it before wrapping your lips around the hard bud. while swirling your tongue around her nipple, your other hand slowly trailed down her stomach until you reached her panties, pulling it off without a problem and immediately cupping her dripping cunt.

“good job, (y/n)—ah…!” seeun buries her hands in your hair as you move on to her other nipple, giving it the same kind of care and attention as the other one. simultaneously, you pressed your fingers against seeun’s clit, circling it as well as teasing her entrance. “y-you’re not actually completely clueless, are you, baby?” seeun asks, her fingers threading your hair as you continue to pleasure her nipple. you opened your eyes, immediately meeting seeun’s very own soft ones. while you flicked her nipple with your tongue, you slowly inserted two fingers inside her, watching as she threw her head back in pleasure.

“g-good… good..!” seeun’s hold on your hair tightens, and it hurt a bit but you didn’t mind. you feel wrap one leg around your thighs, afraid that if she doesn’t lock you in, you would leave. but there was no way that was going to happen now—especially after you’ve felt just how warm she was inside. you pushed your fingers deeper inside her, rubbing her clit with your thumb in an attempt to soothe her but you didn’t know that it only sent her mind reeling.

you tilted her head, worry settling on your stomach when seeun clutches onto your shoulder a bit too tightly. “seeun?” you stopped your movements, pulling your fingers out and putting your hand on her abdomen to soothe her.

seeun glares at you, “don’t stop, (y/n).”

“i-i just thought—”

“fuck me. don’t think of anything else.”

seeun yanks on your hair and pulls your face up to hers, kissing you roughly. you kissed her back, your hand once again making its way down to her pussy. this time, you didn’t allow yourself to listen to the small voices in your mind that told you that something about all of this was so wrong. your best friend, seeun, was in a vulnerable place and even though she let you, you were taking advantage of it to satisfy your personal interests.

something was telling you to stop. to get yourself in the right state of mind. to tell your best friend that all the things she was doing to forget about chaeyoung, especially this, was wrong. but instead, you plunged your two fingers deep inside seeun, thrusting into her in a pace that made her swear, and moan so loud, and sob into your shoulder.

“ff-fuck…! fuck, (y/n)—more…” seeun wrapped her arms around your neck, completely burying her head hidden from view. you kissed her cheek before doing what she asked, increasing your speed even further and doing your hardest to hit all the right spots. every thrust, every lingering sensations on her clit, and every kiss filled seeun’s mind with only you. as much as it started to hurt now, seeun could only take what you were giving her—just so every remaining image of her ex-girlfriend completely disappears from her mind.

and perhaps that’s exactly what happened when you finally curled your fingers inside her and made her come all over your hand. you were pretty sure that you had multiple bleeding wounds on your back from the way seeun scratched you as she came undone, moaning your name and all.

you stared at seeun—she looked so fucking pretty all fucked out and sweaty. her chest heaved up and down, and she blinked the fatigue away because she knew that from the way you licked your fingers hungrily that you weren’t done with her. but that was all she wanted right now.

“all night, seeun,” you promised her. “if that’s what it’ll take you.”

and indeed, you fucked your best friend all night. seeun never once begged for you to stop. after every orgasm she had, she only asked for more until you knew she couldn’t come anymore. you were pretty sure that the sun had started rising up by the time seeun finally allowed herself to get some rest. you laid yourself down beside her, fixing up her hair as she slowly succumbed into sleep.

you talked yourself through your own worries since seeun wasn’t there to do so. consoling your own heart because you were so fucking terrified that everything wouldn’t be the same after all of this—after everything the two of you did this night.

you were prepared to face the worst when you woke up alone hours later. you expected to be cold, to feel empty inside but it was the exact opposite. when you opened your eyes, you felt warm and your heart was full.

maybe it was because of the fact that your blanket was placed carefully and perfectly so that it would cover your entire body from the cold. maybe it was because your room was illuminated by the beautiful sunlight streaming through your curtains.

or maybe because the first thing you saw after opening your eyes was seeun drying her hair with a towel after exiting your bathroom, looking at you and smiling and saying, “hey, sleepyhead.” ensuring you of the fact that absolutely nothing has changed, and will ever change between the two of you. 

you have never been more happy to willingly ‘make a mistake’.

[deepdarkdelights]

Instinct | Taehyung x Reader

Pairing: Hybrid Taehyung x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Stalking (in the animal sense lol) Fear, Blood, Murder, Kind of Cannibalism? Hunting Animals and Humans, Depictions of Dead Bodies, Non-consensual touching, Human Experimentation, Depictions of Gore, Break In, Attempted Murder, Light Spice at End, Insinuated Dub-Con, Taehyung is kind of a switch tbh

Preview: He was huddled in the middle of the road, his arms wrapped around himself as he remained crouched on the wet pavement. But you knew he was looking at you. His golden eyes were glowing back at you, like a predator glaring at you from the depths of the jungle. There was something inside you that knew that he was dangerous, an echo of intuition from thousands of years before you. But you were a modern human, you were good at ignoring your instincts. 

A/N: I wrote this in two days due to your guys' interest in the prompt. I chose Tae instead of Jimin, he only has two fics on my blog! Anyways it’s two in the morning and I’m really tired, this is really short compared to the majority of my works but I hope you still enjoy it. ILY and I can’t wait to see you in my inbox and the comments ~ good night my loves 💜

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, the words cracked and broken. 

“No, you’re not.” You sighed.  

He always did this. He always turned on the tears every time you called him out on his bullshit and you had a terrible habit of falling for it every time. He cried, he apologized, but in a few days he was back on his usual shit. 

“But I am, I really am!” He insisted, tears pooling in pretty brown eyes. 

“Really? I don’t think he sees it that way,” You said with a jerk of your head in the direction of the limp body splayed on the ground. “In fact, I really doubt he sees much anymore.”

“But he-“

“No!” You yelled, spurring a flinch from him, “You always have some excuse but not this time! I am tired of spending my evenings scrubbing blood out of the grout!” 

He could only pout in response because there was no way of getting around it, you were right. It was unfair that you always had to be the one to clean up his messes. But he just couldn’t help himself, he was a killer by design. Not nature, design. 

You let out another laborious, tired sigh. It seemed that was all you did these days, ever since you had found Taehyung. 

You had almost hit him with your car. It was late at night, a new moon to be exact, the darkness thick and just barely penetrable by your headlights. He had come out of nowhere, his lithe body trapped between two beams of light before you swerved out of the way just missing him by mere inches. 

You could remember the feeling of your tight grasp on the leather of the steering wheel, the way your throat constricted and how your chest rapidly rose and fell, and the sound of catchy pop music that was so ill fitting and off putting for such a dramatic turn of events. It was ingrained in your memory, a turning point in your life that you would never forget. 

He was huddled in the middle of the road, his arms wrapped around himself as he remained crouched on the wet pavement. But you knew he was looking at you. His golden eyes were glowing back at you, like a predator glaring at you from the depths of the jungle. There was something inside you that knew that he was dangerous, an echo of intuition from thousands of years before you. But you were a modern human, you were good at ignoring your instincts. 

As you approached him you noticed several things about him. The dirt and blood that stained his honey skin, his taunt, tense, strong muscles, and of course the ears protruding from his thick, dark curls, and the tail that swung in agitation from his tailbone. 

Taehyung was, quite literally, one of a kind. 

An embryo spliced with the DNA of an apex predator, something that had never existed before him, a hybrid. 

He had hissed at you, stopping you four feet away from his crumpled form. His teeth glinted in the light, a set of fangs protruding from the top row of his teeth with a smaller matching set on the bottom. That noise had every nerve in your body tingling in fright, yet still you persisted. 

You made yourself smaller, lowering yourself to the ground so that you were lower than he was with your arms at your sides, every vulnerable point of your body open and exposed to him. 

You remembered the feeling of his nose nudging at your pulse point, the warmth of his breath ghosting over your neck, the rumble of a growl deep in his chest before it faded to a gentle chuff as he nuzzled his face against the column of your throat.  There were serrated teeth hidden behind beautiful full lips, one little bite would sever a major artery and blood would arch through the dark sky. 

Taehyung was a dangerous brand of beautiful. 

You often liked to joke to yourself that you were a lonely woman who took in a stray cat. It was easier to use humor to veil the harsh reality of what you had actually brought into your home. 

Taehyung quickly became attached to you, it was almost like he had imprinted on you. It was the only way that you could explain his sudden and intense adoration towards you especially when you remembered the way he looked at you when he first saw you. It was like he was hungry. 

That hunger was ever present in his eyes, buried beneath the loving gaze it's embers still burned. The fiery gold cooled to a deep brown, his eyes wide in wonderment as he watched you. 

You hissed in pain when he dug his fingers into your arms as you tried to help lower him into the tub. A hiss died in his throat as he slowly sunk into the warm water, a gentle purr took its place. 

“There you go,” You hummed as you helped him wash, the tub water steadily growing murky as you scrubbed the grime and blood from his skin. 

The noise he made as you washed his hair, massaging his scalp and the base of his ears, was heavenly. A beautiful baritone groan that melted into a purr. After all, panthers were still cats. 

When you pulled the drain plug and went to grab a towel, he spoke to you for the first time. 

His hold on your arm tightened, his soft eyes turned primal once more. “Don’t leave.” 

His voice was deep and raspy. It sounded like he hadn’t spoken in a long time, it sounded animalistic. It suited him well. 

Over time you learned Taehyung never wanted to be alone. He clung to you at all times no matter what you were doing and despite your protests he followed you to bed every night. He would wrap you up tightly in his embrace sealing you into his prison-like grasp with a leg draped over your hip. His adoration was constricting. 

“It was cold,” He finally explained to you, “They kept me in a room all by myself. It was all metal and concrete, they fed me with long silver tongs. I was always alone, the only touch I knew, hurt.” 

You held him tighter that night, your heart ached for your panther. All he wanted was for someone to love him, he was just as human as anyone else. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” He whispered, nudging the back of your head with his nose and breathing in your scent as his pretty fingers smoothed over your ribs in a slow, circular pattern. 

In reality, it wasn’t you that would end up hurting anyone. 

You had noticed something was wrong when he lost his appetite. He would stare down at his plate with a bored and confused look in his eyes, poking at whatever he was supposed to be eating with a lack of interest. 

“Please, Tae,” You would beg, using the soft and soothing voice you knew he responded well to, “Just a few bites for me? You don’t want to hurt my feelings, do you?” 

He would acquise with those big adoring eyes before taking small and faux enthusiastic bites. But it was clear he wasn’t enjoying it and you had an idea as to why that was. But it was easier for your own sanity if you ignored the glaring problem. 

It became unignorable the night a man broke into your house. 

Taehyung had heard it first, the shattering of glass and the metal squeak of door hinges. He had crept out of bed and stalked into the hallway, clinging to the shadows as he watched the man attempt to sneak further into your home. He was trespassing into his territory and that was a dire mistake. 

You were awoken by the screaming. You jolted upright and were greeted by your pitch black bedroom. The screams persisted, deep, panicked, blood curdling screams followed by a wet gurgle and then an ever scarier silence. 

That feeling was there again, that intuition that was buried inside of you that was begging you to lock and barricade the door and not go investigating the source of those screams. But Taehyung was missing and you were scared without him. 

The hallway was dark, but a single beam of moonlight shone through the broken window of the front door and illuminated the carnage in front of you. 

Taehyung was bent over the body of a man. His tail was slowly skirting over the floor in delight as he ripped a chunk of flesh from the man’s shoulder and tilted his head back. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, the blood on his face gleaming in the moonlight. 

You could see the man on the floor now, his throat had been ripped open and blood was steadily pooling around him. His eyes were vacant, his jaw was slack. He was dead. Taehyung had killed him. 

Taehyung was eating him. 

There had always been a part of you that had considered this to be a possibility. It explained why Taehyung was in the state he was in the night that you had found him. It explained how he had escaped that facility and why he wasn’t hungry for days after. He had killed and consumed his handlers. 

Despite the panther ears and tail, you often forgot that Taehyung wasn’t entirely human. He was so sweet with you, so clingy and adorable. But he was still an apex predator. He didn’t want to be fed with tongs or served cooked meals. He needed to hunt, it was ingrained in his DNA. 

You watched in fascinated horror as his teeth and textured tongue expertly removed flesh from bone. He was finally eating. 

You took a step back only to trip over a bag that had belonged to the intruder. Out of it spilled horrifyingly familiar items. Duct tape, zip ties, knives. It was a kill kit. Your breathing stuttered and your heart dropped. There was not a doubt in your mind as to what that man had planned to do, and Taehyung had stopped him. He protected you. 

His golden eyes were looking at you now, their narrowed predatory gaze relaxing, and his soft round eyes returned. He rose up from his animalistic crouch with a fluidity no normal man could possess and slowly approached you. 

You closed your eyes as he neared you, your body on fire from genuine fear. It was a toxic blend, the love and the fear that you felt for him. You flinched when his large hand cupped your face and held your breath when you felt his lips softly drag over your cheek leaving a streak of warm blood in their wake. 

“I’m sorry,” He mumbled, a stray tear escaping his eye and rolling down your cheek, “I’m so hungry.” 

When you opened your eyes you were met with quite a sight. Taehyung had always been beautiful, the most beautiful man that you had ever seen. But the way he looked now made you realize how sick you were. How could you think he looked beautiful with those full lips stained red and the glaze of a shed tear streaked down the curve of his face. 

Taehyung never asked to be made, and now he had to suffer the consequences of his creation. 

“It’s okay baby,” You cooed, your thumb brushing a bead of blood from his lower lip that he chased with his tongue, swiping it off of the tip of your finger. “Finish your meal.” 

~~~~~~~

There was a shift that night. 

The relationship between the two of you was changing. You could see it in the way he watched you. It was a different kind of hunger, one for a companionship he had never been able to have. 

And his regular appetite was changing too. 

You tried taking him to the forest, letting him hunt small and big game. And it worked, but the human side of him would often combat the animal side. He craved the complexity of hunting humans. He craved satiating his wrath against humans, the very beings that had created him.

Animals worked in the short term, but it was never long before another man ended up dead in your yard or in this case, on the kitchen floor. 

“You said it was okay if it was bad people!” Taehyung tried, his ears pressing down flat against his skull as his tail twitched behind him.

“Yes, bad people Tae! Intruders, rapists, murderers, not delivery guys!” 

“He entered my territory-“

“This is my house, Tae! My house! Don’t start with the territory shit again.”

“I can’t help it, you know that! You don’t feel what I feel, it’s instinctual, I need to do this!”

You gripped your hair tightly in distress before leaning against the counter and dropping your head into your hands. 

“People are going to start noticing, Tae. You can’t keep doing this. If it’s not the police then it’s going to be the people that made you and they’ll take you away from me, is that what you want?”

“No!” He yelled, grabbing you by your shoulders and spinning you around to face him. “I want to stay with you, please don’t let them take me away!” 

You softened as he began to cry again, his tears wearing away at you like they always did even though you were very aware of the fact that you couldn’t keep letting him do this. You cupped his cheek and lightly wiped his tears away as he bumped the side of his face against your hand before laying a bloody kiss to your palm. 

You couldn’t think rationally when he treated you like this. Your head was also hazy with desire when he did this. It was completely and utterly unfair. 

“Come on, I’ll put you to bed.” You hummed before taking his hand and guiding him to your shared room. 

It was even harder to think clearly when he looked so adorable, wide eyed and curled up beneath your blankets. That was why you needed the distance. You needed to think about what more you could do, you couldn’t keep letting him kill innocent guys whose worst crime was getting a little handsy, like the delivery guy. You knew what it was, you knew what desire looked like in someone’s eyes. Taehyung was wiping out any man he saw as competition. He had said it himself, it was instinctual.  

Your heart ached when his eyes filled with confusion and it tore in half when despair overtook him as you shut and locked the door, trapping him on the other side. You could hear him scramble across the floor and you watched as the door knob jiggled. 

“Please open the door!” He called through the wood, “Why are you doing this, please let me out!”

“Just calm down Taehyung, go to sleep, I'll be right back.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you, please open the door, I’ll be good I promise! I won’t hurt you!” 

“I just need some space, just lay down, I’ll be back.” You said firmly despite how horrible you felt for confining him to your room. 

“No, no, no, no! Don’t leave me, please! I’ll be good!” He continued to yell and continued to break your heart. 

You couldn’t bear to listen to his anguished, panicked cries especially with the knowledge that you were the cause of them. 

You could still hear his yelling and banging on the door as you dragged the body out of the kitchen, a long and laborious effort that left a large streak of blood behind you. This wasn’t the first time that you had to do this but usually you had Taehyung to take care of all the heavy lifting while you took care of the cleanup. It was a morbid, macabre chore, but one you had come accustomed to frighteningly quick.

In your backyard, there were several piles of dirt. Some had been freshly turned over while others had sat undisturbed for some time. Above each pile sat a freshly planted rose bush. There had been a time where your backyard was barren and neglected. Ever since Taehyung had entered your life, you had done quite a bit of gardening…against your will. 

You huffed in exhaustion as you patted the soil smooth with your shovel. You would need to pick up another rose bush tomorrow. 

You had figured this would be the best way to deal with the problem, and it helped Taehyung in some odd, primal way. Sometimes he would sit outside with a satisfied look on his face like he was proud of what he had done. You knew it was because it felt that he had eliminated another threat or competitor. It meant that he had you all to himself again. 

Fear and love are a volatile blend. Could you look past your fear because you loved him? Or did you love him because you were afraid? Afraid of what would happen if you didn’t shower him with affection and attention. Would he turn on you too?

The sound of a loud crack frightened you causing you to drop the shovel. It clattered to the ground and rolled over in the grass, suddenly becoming far more interesting than it had been moments ago. 

You glanced back up at the house and watched, frozen in shock, as the door was thrown open and slammed up against the siding of the house. Taehyung stood on the back steps, his hands bloody from clawing at and breaking through your bedroom door. His chest was heaving from exertion and anxiety and for the first time in a long while, he scared you. His gaze narrowed in on you, those panther eyes glowing with hunger and desire once they found you. 

With blood and dirt caked beneath your nails you were reminded of the kill he made not all that long ago. The fear you felt was all too real. And, on instinct, you turned and you ran. 

You really should have known better. He was an apex predator, he was built for the chase and for the hunt. You had watched the way he enjoyed tracking and stalking his prey before going in for the kill. But in reality, everything you had done up until this point had not made sense. You should have kept driving that night, you shouldn’t have brought him home, you certainly shouldn’t have let him sleep in your bed, and you definitely should have ran the first time he had killed and consumed another human being. 

Running was instinct, it was the only thing that you did that made sense. 

But you couldn’t make it far. You were exhausted from dragging and burying that body, you were running on empty with a dash of adrenaline. And Taehyung, he was stronger than you, faster than you, and could even see in the dark. It was embarrassing that you had even attempted to escape him. 

His strides were completely silent, you had realized he was closing in on you too late and within seconds his arms were wrapped around your chest and dragging you down into the grass. 

It had happened so quickly that you didn’t register it, you laid on your back, frozen in the grass as you processed what happened. And once you looked up and caught sight of his canines you began to writhe beneath him, managing to turn over and scramble a foot away before he grabbed you by your hips and dragged you back beneath him. He caged you in between his arms and pressed his body weight against you until you collapsed chest first into the ground. 

“Taehyung, wait!” You cried as you felt him shove his face in the juncture between your neck and shoulder. 

You closed your eyes then, waiting for him to make the fatal bite that you had seen him deliver time and time again. But there was nothing. You jerked with a surprised cry as you felt his tongue glide over your pulse point in slow languid laps. 

“Tae, what are you-“ He cut you off with a menacing growl, one that told you you were not going to dissuade him from doing what he felt needed to be done. 

An involuntary gasp parted your lips as you felt his hips grind down against you, his hands sliding up towards your wrists and holding them in an iron grip as his slow licks transitioned into hot, wet, open mouthed kisses along the side of your neck. He was making sure he marked up every inch of skin that was exposed to him. 

“I can’t help it,” He whined, his voice breathy and deep as he ground himself against you even harder than before, spurring a soft cry from you. “I need you.” 

You supposed this was the better alternative to him killing you. But still, it didn’t feel quite right.

“I can’t.” You groaned. 

A menacing snarl echoed beside your ear and in one quick movement he flipped you over onto your back and pulled your legs tightly over his hips. His hold was so strong he wasn’t giving you an inch to move unless it was against him and in the way that he desired. 

And in a moment of pure need he firmly gripped your jaw and pressed his lips against yours in a searing kiss. Everything about him was primal, even the way that he kissed. It wasn’t particularly skilled, it was definitely his first, but it didn’t lack passion or desire. He wouldn’t even let you breathe, your lungs burning and singing in desperation for air as he moaned into your mouth while desperately rutting against you. 

“Don’t leave me,” He moaned in between desperate, relentless kisses. 

‘Tae-,” You tried again only for your words to be smothered once more. 

“No, I won’t let you leave me.” 

[pianostarinwonderland]

Thoughts on the Lost in the Book Halloween Event [Ep 1-3]

hello 🤠🤠 guess which bitch decided to kick this blog alive after checks calendar 6+ months of inactivity.......

unfortunately, twistie wonderworld has created a not-azul character that appeals HEAVILY to my tastes 🧍‍♀️ and you may as well call me dead with how much i've thrown myself off a cliff over mr skully j graves

this is also not counting that AZUL MOTHERFUCKING ASHENGROTTO IS IN THE EVENT AND THEREFORE I GET DOUBLE WHAMMIED

SO ANYWAY. I WOULD HAVE DONE EPISODE BY EPISODE SCREAMING AND CRYING BUT MY ASS HAS BEEN TIRED AND BUSY THE PAST TWO WEEKS. BUT THIS RECENT UPDATE HAS GOTTEN ME BY THE T H R O A T SO IM UP. REVIVED. AND ABOUT TO BLOW PPL'S EARS OFF WITH MY THOUGHTS ON THE LORE, AZUL, AND SKULLY

since all 3 episodes have been long out, i'll just give my thoughts on the theories that sprung, thoughts on moments that struck me, and thoughts on the most interesting lore we get

Episode 1

it is embarrassing to admit how many times i've entered 1-4.

when i heard the voiced line, i was like ?!??!1/1!?!1 because not even rollo and fellow got that much voiced lines

and then when i saw the translation, it was joever for me

YOU CANT JUST GO "hello, hey, you who slumbers in my arms, can you hear my voice? please wake up for my sake" AND EXPECT ME TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT................ IM JUST A GIRL

anyway when he said moshi and wagahai, that was when people started going oh fuck is he even from the present?? IS HE EVEN HUMAN???? and his asking what magical pens are does Not Help

all i can add further to this discussion is that i have not seen enough discussion about the fact that we don't really see his ears in the live2D............

his school lore is rly interesting too because he implies that magical stone distribution isn't equal unlike what the nrc cast have now (which is that they each have 1 stone of the same quality). so if the theories about him being a past nrc student are true, then it opens up a lot more lore about nrc's history

speaking of "skully being a past nrc student" theories, i do actually support them! for one, epel was silenced by jamil when he was about to say that they're students of night raven college. writing direction wise, i find it a very suspicious move to cut epel off just before he mentions where they go to school. but i think the strongest evidence right now is the detail that a jp tweet pointed out, in which skully also called the town in sage island the foothill town. said tweet said that night raven college students would call it the foothill town because it's how they see it from their point of view of being on a cliff. to them it's the town on the bottom of the cliff, or the foot of the hill. but for royal sword academy students let's say, since the town is just right next to them, they wouldn't call it the foothill town because it doesn't make sense in the perspective of where they're located. tho ill say, im not really sure if it Is officially called the foothill town in the twisted universe (it is called the foothill town officially in location names though). if it is officially called the foothill town in-universe, then consider this evidence null

its pretty crazy to me how deliberate the cast choice in this halloween feels because u really feel it when riddle called for a leader's meeting and it was just first years left alone. overblottees altogether is already an INSANE choice that i'll get back to later in this post, but for majority of them to be dorm and vice dorm leaders, it's p interesting. but it ends up making sense tho later on when they start doing halloween prep (and let's be real, if it was the others, barely anything would be ready)

it. left me insane. how skully gave everyone a kiss. like sure, it probably wasnt the best feeling to have your hand kissed without consent. BUT. I REALLY LIKE THAT HE DOES IT TO EVERYONE. INCLUDING US. im pretty weak to being included in general, so skully rly stole my heart here, like the kiss on the hand (WHICH IM ALREADY WEAK TO) isnt already stealing my heart. it adds sm to his character too 😭 when u account for how he's been made fun of, him talking to everyone and including even yuu is a way of him coping with the loneliness he's experienced 😭😭 he tries to be gentlemanly to everyone he meets

hinterlands!! just a side note, but when i was watching nightmare before christmas earlier, i realized how similar the hinterlands doors are to the mirrors in twst. cause u can still arrive at the hinterlands from the different towns, the doors just let u travel faster to them. the beginning of the movie also specified that nightmare before christmas was set in a time long long ago, when it was the age of the holidays. though the halloween townsfolk aren't familiar about twisted wonderland, it's a really cool thought to consider that maybe they were in the same world, it's just that they wouldnt have called the entire world as twisted wonderland, they just know of their own towns. or at the very least, in-universe, the writing of hinterlands' doors was inspired by OR PROBABLY inspired mirror travel

SKULLY LOSING A BIT OF HIS POLITE SPEECH WHEN HE MET JACK SKELLINGTON, IT'S SO CUTE 😭😭😭 but i also wanna bring it up now that having this event feature both the og character and the character twisted from them is BIG. the moment jack skellington was teased in the trailers, i knew twst was starting to bring out the big guns. i always figured ever since way back then that twst was going to let us meet the great seven, but we just don't know How. but it's Big that we even get to see the interaction between the movie character and the twisted character because it may be a possible foreshadow to what may happen once we start to tackle the historical revisionism of the great seven's' stories and how our characters will react to it. halloween 2 and glorious masquerade were also used to foreshadow book 7, so lost in the book nbc event foreshadowing something like book 8 or hell even book 9 would make sense.

HAHAHA AZUL BEING ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED WHEN JACK SKELLINGTON SCARED HIM AND EPEL EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT YEAH GET REKT ASHENGROTTO HAHAHAHAHA KEEP DOING WHAT UR DOING PUMPKIN KING 🥰🥰🥰 SEEING AZUL SCARED SHITLESS IS SO FUNNY

Episode 2

ok episode 2. god fucking damn it this episode RUINED ME PERSONALLY

but before we get to that, i wanna talk about skully's vision of halloween because i found it very interesting

when he was talking about how halloween should be silent, dark, and a time of reflecting on repentance and atonement where you can have an aid for it (like a pumpkin or a candle), i genuinely felt my catholic upbringing hit me way harder than with rollo. i SWEAR i've had my mom tell me once or twice while i was a kid that halloween is supposed to be a holy day because of the word hallow, and how it was called hallows eve😭😭 and how it's not good to dress up in costumes of witches, monsters, and devils because it's devil worship or smth. and it's also why we never had halloween decor growing up. im pretty sure she no longer remembers that cause we're now way more lax about those things, it's just that damn, i'm just saying y'all, i would 100% believe a person in 2024 celebrates halloween similar to skully's version

maybe it's just me being stupid pilled, but i really find the situation very ironic. i know that the interjection of the night raven college boys to voice out their disagreements about skully's way of celebrating halloween is to mirror the interjections of the townspeople when they were trying to understand and even voicing out disappointments about jack's presentation of christmas. but i find the scenario very very interesting because irl, christian puritans and conservatives would scoff at the pagan traditions, call them barbaric while we're at it, and do the whole thing of inserting christianity into it. it doesn't help that pope gregory III called november 1 as a day to honor all saints and then oct 31 was called all hallows eve, and then the christians celebrated some of the samhain traditions as well. but you see here in the story how it's the night raven college students, who promote a festive and more modern halloween, calling skully barbaric for his ideas of halloween, especially for the elimination of ghosts.

some ppl might find skully's ideas boring or too traditional. for me, it's kinda just a matter of differing cultures. like, i've grown up having a mix of trick-or-treating halloweens and halloweens where i just stay indoors. and i grew up in a catholic sphere where halloween in skully's vision is much preferred. so maybe it's just me but i can't really hate his vision. at the same time, i've also been on the side of completely shutting down people who bring up arguments rooted in strict catholic tradition, simply because i looked down on them. but i got lectured (not directly) that we shouldn't immediately shut down those arguments because hey, there are points that are made, esp if worded right. so reading this conflict in episode 2 tickled my brain. in the end, though, my overall thoughts are: i think that while skully looking down on people for disagreeing with him is something for him to improve, nrc students aren't totally in the clear either. they're all fair for having their disagreements, but in twisted fashion, they're all stubborn as hell

this also made me think about the ghosts and how the vast majority of twst might perceive them. the population of twst is still vastly non-magical, and while the dead are generally celebrated, i can't help but wonder if nrc's harsh reactions to skully's bias against ghosts is due to the fact they are in a campus where ghosts are able to manifest all year round and therefore they get to interact with them. but for a good majority of the population that cannot see ghosts nor are they mages, how do they really feel about the ghosts? i find it to be food for thought. and on that topic, people also avoid ramshackle because it's haunted. though,,, from the way halloween is characterized in twst, it sounds like everyone really celebrates the ghosts coming to the living, esp because the magic is stronger everywhere. but are all cultures receptive to that..?

anyway, poor skully had to meet the jack who's been seeking out something different for halloween (esp bc movie jack was dissatisfied initially with his pumpkin king schtick) so he's had to have his ideas rejected

jamil's so kind as to comfort skully. very interesting part though from azul 👁👄👁 he's like "well if his ideas get rejected then he should just make a new proposal, don't give up" and it's just a nice lil look into his projection. like dang azul :') it's obvious that he gets up very quickly after every setback, but knowing that in his mind, he Has to get up quickly, and thus expects everyone to do the same,,, ,he never gives himself time to breathe and process, i kinda cry for him. jamil thankfully being like "yea he can do that but still, it sucks to be rejected" like yes jamilllll say it!!! on another note, this feels like a really good idea to write for an azujami fanfic :)

THE MUSIC GROUP SEGMENTS. WHY ARE AZUL AND SKULLY INTERACTING REGARDING MUSIC. TWICE.

like the first one, we get to know the music tastes of azul, jamil, riddle, and skully. azul, being the gay ass bitch he is, exposes jamil's music taste, being fast tempo music one can dance to

as a classical music girlie, i personally lost my mind when skully asked if it was waltz or tango music 🤡🤡🤡 LIKE. WAAAAHHHHH WALTZ AND TANGO MUSIC ARE ABSOLUTE BANGERS PLS I NEED PPL TO BE FAMILIAR WITH THEM AND OUGH OUGH THE THOUGHT OF DANCING A WALTZ WITH SKULLY AND—

azul u bitch telling us that u listen to a lot of genres and play jazz music for mostro lounge fucfkfufkcff LIKE THE JAZZ IS A GIVEN. BUT AZUL WDYM BY A LOT OF GENRES. DO U STILL LISTEN TO JAZZ AZUL? OR HAVE U DABBLED INTO TAYLOR SWIFT AND OLIVIA RODRIGO? ARE U SECRETLY A CHAPPELL ROAN AND CHARLI XCX GIRLIE? HAVE U LOOKED INTO INDIE ROCK BANDS? DO U ALSO LIKE CLASSICAL TOO PLEASE SAY YES

riddle, in typical fashion likes classical music!! AND SKULLY ALSO LIKES CLASSICAL MUSIC YYYYYYYYYYESSSSS FUCKKINIGFIGNFDNKGNKFD WINNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

AND JACK ASKED HIM WHAT SKULLY LIKES AND SKULLY SAID HE LIKES OPERA AND IM SO HAPPY THAT SKULLY GOT TO FANGIRL ABT JACK ALSO LIKING OPERA AND EVEN SINGING FOR THEM (and jack's singing is amazing like no cap)

but also suddenly i regret not listening to more opera in my life. im sorry puccini for ignoring u all this time. i may or may not have binged some opera music the night of the update.

BUT THE SECOND MUSIC DISCUSSION. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME TWST ISTG. WHAT ARE U DOING MAKING SKULLY GO "ooh ive been thinking of learning how to play the piano" AND AZUL GOING "i know a bit of the piano!" U CANT JUST TEASE US ONCE AGAIN ABOUT AZUL'S PIANO EXPERIENCE WHILE ALSO MAKING SKULLY WANT TO PLAY PIANO.. .. ..... ...

that aside, idia also mentions doing programming music, so like MIDI and shit. wooo sound prod idia lezgooooooo

i do love also that skully asks us if we play music!! AND AZUL BEING EXCITED IF WE DO SAY THAT YES WE CAN DO MUSIC, OUGH AZUL U PREDICTABLE MF BUT ALSO THE WAY U MOTIVATE ME

anyway, just before the second music group segment, we get a really nice conversation between skully and sebek, in which skully shares that he's afraid if everything he's known is so far from reality. and sebek's like ok u respect tradition but u also have ur ideals, u should be more firm in ur ideals. and skully's poetically thanking sebek for showing him the light, and ty sebek for contributing to the future shitshow that skully will start in episode 4

Episode 3

ah yes. the episode where i lost all my marbles

first part, we get lock, shock, and barrel popping in. jack said that they were going to help out, but they ended up causing a lot of chaos

absolutely LOVE how they rattled almost all of the students, like i wheezes at lock calling epel a shortie and epel losing it. then vil's like, epel that is a CHILD insulting u, dont stoop to their level. and then lock was like ewwwww ur eyelashes look like centipedes, and vil was like SAY WHAT BITCH and jamil's reminding him of what vil just said.

AND THEN THE FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE EVENT: LOCK GIVING JAMIL A BUG ON HIS HAND, AND JAMIL PROCEEDING TO FAINT

in true gay fashion, azul tells epel and the audience about jamil's fear of bugs

SECOND FUNNIEST MOMENT: LOCK OFFERING THE BUG TO JADE BUT JADE'S LIKE nah give it to vil and epel BUT THEN HE'S CALLED BORING AND THAT FUCKING TRIGGERS HIM???? JADE LEECH, THE MAN THAT DOESN'T USUALLY GET FAZED BY PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS OF HIM, GETTING PISSED OFF THAT HE'S CALLED BORING TO THE POINT THAT HE GOES "give me the bug. i will even make exciting reactions. just give me the bug." LIKE HOLY SHIT FKDHFAKJBFSKANFKNSAF THIS MAN HAS A COMPLEX ISTG

barrel sticking candy onto riddle's clothes and then eating it, u see riddle and trey being hella weirded out by that

idia's like, i wanna go away from this i do Not like parties, but malleus completely mishears idia and is like omg party? you want an invitation to a party too? omg me too bestie and idia's like oh my god nO

then u see shock staring at malleus and sebek's yelling at her but she's quiet.... until she hops on top of malleus

sebek's like WAKASAMA ILL TAKE THEM OUT FOR U but malleus is like don't sebek.......... I WILL TAKE THEM OUT MYSELF lightning strikes

congrats to azul, trey, leona, and idia for having the privilege to just stand there and panic at the chaos going on

jack is hella sad about the state of things

and SKULLY. SKULLY IS PISSED AT HOW MUCH OF A MESS THINGS HAVE GOTTEN. AND THEN HE'S LIKE IM GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS

ANDDDDDDD THE MOMENT THAT MADE ME DIE IN CHAT: "Light the lanterns. Scary Night (Oct. 31)!"

guys i think skully likes halloween, im not sure tho

anyway, skully's unique magic can change people into pumpkins, and lock, shock, and barrel turn into pumpkins. once skully transforms them back, they're like do it again !! but skully's like no my UM is still developing so i cant use it more than once. but still, this impresses everyone.

SOME LORE ABOUT MAGIC: jamil says that skully's um is pretty advanced because it's appearance changing magic, which is already really hard with the aid of a transformation potion. and leona points out that while it might not work on those with high mana, it can at least catch someone off guard. i think it is also worth bringing up that transformation potions generally are banned, so this is a really interesting um that can still be perfected and developed !!

poor sebek, he gets jealous and tries to assert dominance but even malleus compliments sebek, and that pisses him off more SKDFJNSDKSDSKF

anyway sebek demands a third round of splitting into different teams so he can try to be with malleus, even when everyone was already happy enough with their teams

well sebek won finally BUT poor skully, he's now separated from jack AND HE'S CRYINGGGGG

leona is so funny, he's like oh thank GOD im not with the octavinelle bitches, and azul's like aw dont be lonely there :))) istg i love these two bitches and their bitchiness rubbing off each other, it's so yummy (and with the latest octa manga update it's made even YUMMIER)

can i just point out that for three consecutive rounds, azul's been in the music team. LIKE TWST CMON IF THIS ISN'T TEASING US ABOUT AZUL PLAYING MUSIC IN A LATER EVENT, IDK WHAT IS. PLS TWST. PLEASEEEEEEEE

too bad for leona, he reunites with his bitches later on 🥰 and by GOD the banter and the lore drops here are really yummy

well first off, we gotta get to the convo between leona and skully. skully compliments leona and stuff but leona's like ok bro u gotta focus on urself first. don't look away from ur dilemma rn that what u thought ur idol was is not how he actually is. basically, skully gotta acknowledge the disillusionment that he's experiencing

OH DEPENDING ON UR CHOICE, IF U AGREE WITH SKULLY THAT YES JACK'S PUTTING A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THE HALLOWEEN PREP, HE'S GONNA BE LIKE "yes yes!! u see it too!!" AND THEN HE KISSES UR HAND like maaaaaaan THIRD KISS IN THE EVENT UWEEEHHHHHHHHH i feel so loved 😩😩😩

anyway you, skully, leona, jack, jade, and azul meet. we get more details about skully's way of celebrating halloween, he shares that he spends halloween alone, but jack's like nono! halloween is something we should spend with everyone! and this is probably skully's last straw because he ends up shocked and asks to leave, saying he'll help out lock, shock, and barrel

oh girl bye it's about to start

now music group's gotta compose AND WELL. FINALLY I GET CONFIRMATION ON THE COMPOSITION SKILLS OF AZUL (and jade). BOTH OF THEM DONT KNOW HOW TO COMPOSE....

leona's like lmao dont merfolk love singing or some shit, aND THIS ACTUALLY GETS AZUL PRETTY UPSET. Azul's like, hey not all merfolk like music or have an inclination to it! How prejudiced of u leona, and meanwhile jade's like well he's Not wrong idk any mer who dislikes music. dang did azul actually have a thing about not being skilled at music before???? or does he actually care more about his people than he lets on? both maybe?? that's so sweet tho

anyway they manage to shift the conversation to making fun of leona for not being good at singing HFSKJDHFSDKFHS octavinelle bitches i love u to the ends of the earth

top moments from this event definitely includes jade going "aw azul he's probably tone deaf" and azul dramatically gasping and going "jade how can u be so blunt?!?!?!?"

leona ends up singing the coconut song from his homeland (the one zazu sings to scar when he's caged) to show that yea he Can sing. AND AZUL AND JADE FOLLOWNSKNGSDNFNLKSDNFADNFNLNFSDF FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHY IS THIS EVENT NOT VOICED,,,.,. AZUL, JADE, AND LEONA SINGING THE COCONUT SONG TOGETHERR.

LORE DROP: the song is also rly popular in the coral sea, as in they learn it when they're really young. and leona's like well it makes sense, the sunset savannah faces the sea, so trade between us and the coral sea is very likely to happen. WORLDBUILDING MY LOVE

HAHAHHAAHHA AZUL IS LIKE "wow leona ur so good at singing, u should sing for the mostro lounge" AND LEONA'S LIKE "yeah and my payment should be u guys fighting against us in magift" AND THE WAY AZUL AND JADE WENT OK NEVERMIND HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND AZUL'S PANICKED FACE IS SO FUNNY GET REKT AZUL LMAOOOOOOO

anyway we go to the trey, jamil, riddle, and idia group AND THIS IS A FUNNY ASS GROUP TOO

POOR IDIA GETS SCOLDED BY TREY BC THEY ASKED IDIA WHAT HE EATS AND IDIA MENTIONS HE BASICALLY EATS JUNK FOOD AND TREY'S LIKE UR NOT TAKING CARE OF UR JAW!!! UR JAW'S GONNA BE WEAK!!!!! AND UR TEETH!!!! OH MY GODDDDD

riddle mentions he eats the daily special in the cafeteria bc he can calculate the amount of nutrients that he gets. dang that's some habit to get from his mom, i really hope he's getting his fill this time :')) at least get some more protein riddle

trey was so close to being screwed bc he says he rly loves the hamburger steaks in the cafeteria and they're so good he could eat them every day. but then riddle gets mad because there is a queen of hearts rule banning hamburger steaks on tuesdays AND TREY HAS TO CLARIFY NO I DIDNT ACTUALLY EAT IT

jamil meanwhile mentions he rarely eats at the cafeteria cause he makes food for kalim anyway so might as well make his meals. honestly real and good for him.

AWWW SALLY WANTS TO MAKE FOOD FOR JACK AND JAMIL GIVES HER ADVICE well that backfired on him cause now she wants him to taste test her soup BYEEEE

AND JAMIL DOES THE SAME THING MOVIE SALLY DID WITH FINKLESTEIN he uses the spoon with holes, pretends to like it (which shocked EVERYONE AT FIRST) and then he tells the others fuck no yall i didn't taste it, it looks rancid af (and honestly smart move jamil bc there is a nonzero chance that the soup contains deadly nightshade in case sally wanted to poison dr finklestein, and if not deadly nightshade, frog's breath would be terrible to deal with)

anyway moving on to the vil, malleus, sebek, and epel group!! ok this group is so cute cause the two first years are together, and their senpais are with them!!

WE GET A LOT OF LORE HERE OMG so they used to dye cloth with plants in lilia's house because they got,,, three colored sauce,,, on the curtains. malleus offered to buy new curtains but lilia said no. me too vil and epel, idk what three colored sauce is. ik it's a reference to the three fairies BUT HOW DO U GET THREE COLORED SAUCE LILIA PLS I HOPE IT'S THREE SAUCES IN DIFFERENT COLORS NOT ONE SAUCE IN THREE COLORS

finklestein mentions oh we have witches here too u know! and vil's like omg they must be beautiful like me

if u watched nightmare before christmas before this scene, you KNOW this is the start of the punchline. unfortunately, i did not have the pleasure of watching nbc before this so i did not get to enjoy the joke BUT I DO NOW

so the witches come in and OF COURSE VIL'S FUCKING HORRIFIED THAT THEY'RE UGLY AS SHIT. AND THE CHERRY ON TOP IS SEBEK BEING LIKE "ohhh this is a punchline" HAHAHHADKABSJDBJS

BLESS THIS UPDATE BECAUSE THE LORE DROP HAS BEEN SO GOOD THIS WEEK we get broom lore in which not every broom can be used for flight. the ones in school are standardized to be good for flight. i feel like i've heard the first part in another place, probably a book or so, but the second one is new

anyway after all that prep that everyone does, skully's asking lock, shock, and barrel 😨😨😨 THEY ALSO MENTION BOSS. SO OOGIE BOOGIE EP4???? PLS?????? ESP KNOWING THAT SKULLY AND OOGIE HAVE A LOT OF SIMILARITIES TO EACH OTHER SO LIKE MMM MM MMMM M

zero is soooo cute :')) he liked leona, and he found the smell of tea on jamil rly nice too

ZERO SNIFFED THE SUS ON TREY AND JADE AHAGAGAHAAHSFDHGHFHGC RIP TO THEMMM tho lowkey treyjade won too bc hey :) trey said he never got to own a dog cause his home (a bakery) couldnt have one. jade finds dogs adorable. treyjade could 100% have a dog in their house

riddle and idia were criticizing how they approached zero LMAOOOOO AND IDIA EVEN SAID HE WATCHED VIDEOS OF APPROACHING DOGS. WELL CLEARLY THOSE VIDS WORKED W HOW ZERO RAN AWAY FROM U IDIA.

SALLY ACTUALLY GOT TO GIVE JACK THE LUNCH SHE MADE HIM 😭😭😭 im so happy for her honestly, esp cause in the movie, she snuck it to him :")) but here, she gives it. well, she still sneaks it BUT SHE DOESNT HAVE TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE A PULLEY SYSTEM TO HAND IT TO HIM!! bless jamil for helping her too

AZUL PLS "id love to help sally out" whats w u and ppl in love, huh, azul 🤨

oh hello 3-19 whats gonna hap-

🧍‍♀️

chat he's lost it

CHAT HE'S KINDA HOT WHEN HE LOSES IT.

SHFCJGCJGVGHVHJ SKULLY CONFIRMING JACK'S VIEWS ON HALLOWEEN AND THEN HE. PUTS JACK TO SLEEP. WITH A DRINK. BRO PUT DEADLY NIGHTSHADE IN THAT.

AND SKULLY REPEATING HIS MONOLOGUE IN THE PROLOGUE. AND HIM GOING "ahh jack-sama pls dont worry, ill protect the true halloween, even from u jack" girl everyone smelled the yandere. have u seen jp twitter/bluesky? the yandere is BAD

and it's hot on him. good god

AND THEN OH GOD WE COME IN CAUSE GRIM WANTED TO EAT JACK'S FOOD BUT WE FOUND SKULLY

AND SKULLY TURNS GRIM INTO A PUMPKIN THINKING THAT GRIM CAUGHT HIM. NO SKULLY U JUST OUTED URSELF, GRIM'S STUPID AS FUCK

oh god i got dizzy w this last part YUU HAD THE CHOICE TO SAY "why are you doing this" OR "we won't tell anyone". AND IF U CHOOSE THE SECOND OPTION, SKULLYYYYY GOES OH REALLY?? we're kindred spirits indeed we were fated to meet

girl i fell off a cliff. i drowned even. passed away.

GIRL I ATE ROCKS. WTF. I SWEAR. THE WAY SKULLY TALKS TO US FR LIKE WHAT IM BEING SWEPT OFF MY FEET HERE EVEN IF HE'S GOT SOME SCREWS LOOSE

ANDDDDDD HE TAKES US AWAY.

HAH HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA................

YALL HAVE NNNNNNNNNNO IDEA HOW INSANE I WENT ON MY IG 💀💀💀 literally i had a status that said "OMG YALL MY POOKIE KIDNAPPED ME 🥰🥰🥰" and now my irls are scared. they think i have stockholm's now.

honestly i just love the skullyuu dynamic too, like they're just two ppl who are lonely in their own ways. while skully would talk to everyone as much as possible, he rly talks to yuu.

delusionally, i like to think yuu saying i won't tell anyone is them not being scared but understanding skully too. like, they cant blame him for losing his shit

alot of ppl are also thinking omg skully overblot might happen. and i wanna yell NOOOOOOOOOO to that. on one hand, everyone said the same thing abt rollo and well, he didnt. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, SKULLY LACKS SLEEP, AND THE NARRATIVE REMINDS US TWICE ABOUT THAT. WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN ATE FOOD. AND HIS MAGIC IS EMPHASIZED TO BE ADVANCED. AND HE DOESNT HAVE A MAGICAL PEN AND WE DONT KNOW IF HE EVEN HAS A CRYSTAL. THE MAGIC'S GOING TO HIS BODY. AND THE WORST PART IS THAT ALL 7 OVERBLOTTERS ARE IN THE EVENT. THAT CANT BE A COINCIDENCE. FUCK'S SAKE, ONE OF THEM WORKS IN STYX. THE ONLY ARGUMENT AGAINST SKULLY NOT OVERBLOTTING IS THAT HE MIGHT NOT HAVE ENOUGH MANA FOR IT CAUSE HE HAS EPEL'S MAGIC LEVEL. BUT STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL cries

but also having all 7 overblotters may mean that twst wants to hint to us that this event could foreshadow a future arc where we meet the great seven and explore the disillusionment they may face. i'll dedicate a longer post to that though. but im excited for it

i do hope that in ep4 and 5, ppl realize that there is merit to skully's ideas of halloween. in the movie, jack skellington realizes that maybe doing christmas just doesn't suit him and sally was right. and at the end, santa gives halloween town a taste of snow. i'd like to see a merge of the ideas of nrc boys and skully's. at the same time, i hope skully realizes too that halloween can be celebrated with everyone, and in fact, it's more fun that way :'))) i want all of them to learn from each other. i want skully to be happy.

anyway i eat this event. it genuinely made me go back to playing twst as actively as i used to (never mind the fact that i put irl responsibilities to the backburner until urgent-), and im so excited for the last 2 updates 😋😋😋😋 i may also post a few more things about this event before the update on monday because god, my brainworms are terrible

[tiredemmet]

I made a post about this thought years ago but I got submas on the brain rn (like always).

One of if not the main reason I love Ingo and Emmet, especially after the sygna event is that they love each other very much in a familial sense. These two characters go together, they are MEANT for each other. But it's all platonic, and that's very precious to me. It's like, there are so many character sets out there that are sexual or romantic so it's nice to have a set that aren't centered around a romantic/sexual relationship.

I never got into shipping in any fandom really, sometimes I think I ship characters but then I realize that I just want them to be best friends. Bizarre example to people who don't follow my other blogs, but I thought I shipped Dr. Von Goosewing with Count Duckula but honestly I just love the idea of an eventual truce and comradery.

I don't see aro/ace representation very often, and any characters that are close to each other are automatically deemed lovers by a lot of fans. It can get tiring when that's all you see. I used to like Good Omens (before the Neil Gaiman scandals) but I blocked the tag eventually because EVERYTHING. WAS. SEXUAL. Everything!!! Except maybe like three artists in the tag but it was all overshadowed by people sexualizing two characters that I saw as just best friends. Then season 2 happened and it was just fanservice let's be honest.

I digress. Anyways, that's why I love Ingo and Emmet and the tragedy of Legends Arceus. Their bond is very strong and it's nice to have a set of characters that has a strong majority of fans who don't sexualize their relationship. On that note, I can filter tags and block idiotic users so it stays that way. Lol.

[loudclan-clangen]

Hey there!

Checking out Loudclan? That's great! Thanks so much!

Loudclan was originally planned to be drawn as I played the game like most other clangen blogs... Then I got frustrated about how slow it was moving and played ahead. Just a little bit, nothing to worry about, only about 1000 moons. So this blog should be running for A WHILE. I also take pretty big liberties with the designs and events. I think it's more interesting that way! Also it's been several real life months since I started playing and some things I just... forgot. Or lost. Either way, it's fun to stretch my creative skills.

As for the mechanics of the blog:

General Content Warnings Include:

Death, Animal Death, (Cat Death specifically), Death in Childbirth, Violence, Murder, Illness, Gore, Grooming, Abuse, Bad Parenting, Cheating, Affairs, Drama, Cursing, Language, Dirty Jokes, ECT. (if i missed something please let me know)

Start Here

Allegiances

Lore

Discord

RedBubble

Updates are not going to be on a consistent schedule... ever. I'm a college student. I just don't have the time or energy.

The style is going to vary wildly. It's been years since I've consistently drawn cats and I wasn't ever really happy with the way I did it back then anyway. Come along for the ride with me! I'm just as surprised by what my hands create as you guys!

Overview:

Loudclan is set in a fictional location that is based on South Central Alaska. A group of rogues fled up the mountains to get away from the deep snows of the valleys at the beginning of a particularly harsh winter. The clan follows three "Leaders" in the form of the Leader, the Lead Healer, and the Lead Mediator. These leaders will each pass their position on to their oldest heir, the closest related member of their direct family. Issues regarding what happens when two cats have similar claims have yet to be sorted out by the clan, and may never be fully decided... *insert mysterious foreshadowing sounds*

If you are interested in more of a deep dive into the lore check out this post: Lore, or anything tagged #loudclanlore .

Asks are welcome! I will do my best to answer them quickly and efficiently! I am happy to talk about characters, art, process, gameplay, pretty much anything. (I probably won't be showing sprites though, just because I've played ahead so far and a not insignificant amount of them are just... gone. Lost to the ether. Sacrificed so that my laptop could keep running the game.) All asks are tagged #loudclanasks .

Also fanart/writing/edits are more than welcome! You guys are so cool and talented and I am honored that you would want to make something based on my dumb little pixel cats. Referencing or imitating my style/designs/layout is absolutely allowed, just make sure to mention me so I don't miss them! All fan contributions are tagged #loudclanfan .

I will never complain about anyone "blowing up my notifications" or spam liking. I think it's so neat to see people go through the blog liking as they go. Don't worry about it. I enjoy seeing you enjoy my work!

A little bit about me, you can call me "D"! I use any pronouns, I'm pretty ambivalent about them but the majority of people use she/her for me and I'm fine with that. I'm 20, I live most of the time in Alaska and part time on a ranch in Texas and I'm working on my BA in Elementary Education. I started reading Warriors in 2nd Grade and stopped in 6th Grade but the brain worms never die. If you know me in real life no you don't: It took me all of high school to kill the furry allegations I'm not going through that again. Oh, and my main blog is @restinginpiecesofpizza but warning, there's spoilers for Owlstar's family tree for like 8 generations posted on there.

If you think Loudclan's cool and want to help me out consider checking out my RedBubble!

Anyway, thanks for checking out my blog! I hope you enjoy!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I remember in Book 6 that Idia deals with Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil and Vil while his parents deal with Crowley. But what if they switched? With Idia dealing with Crowley and his parents dealing with the OB group, what do you think about that?

Idia would be a shitty interrogator—

I think really the only thing that would change is the social dynamics? I don’t think Crowley would really take an 18-year old questioning him all that seriously… I guess maybe depending on what’s discussed, Idia could then go in book 7 with more knowledge of what’s going on behind the scenes? But again, I don’t see Crowley up and revealing anything sensitive.

The OB boys would be more respectful and cooperative to adults in positions of authority. Riddle, Azul, Jamil, and Vil definitely would, and I could even see Leona following suit (given he was intelligent enough to know it would be better for him to just cave into Styx’s demands and surrender). Maybe there would be slightly awkward moments where the parents ask the OB boys about how Idia acts at school (to gauge how he’s been coping with the loss of Ortho) or if any of them are friends with their son. Unfortunately, I think seeing them in book 6 would take away from some of the hype of seeing them and being heartwarming with Ortho in book 7 (since we’d have already met them and known what their dynamic is with their sons), so there’s that 😅

Sorry if that wasn’t a super interesting answer, but we just don’t know enough about Idia’s parents nor Crowley’s motives to get a sense for how that would impact the story in major ways. (I’m assuming at that Ortho still goes rogue at some point and convinces Idia to return to Styx HQ, OB, and crack open Tartarus like a bottle of pop.)

Quick note on etiquette, I’ve noticed that I’ve been getting a lot of “what if” questions lately. I’m not sure if they’re all coming from the same person (I only suspect this because the wording of the asks are often similar/word for word and involve similar premises, such as swapping the role of two characters or introducing a single character into an event they were not originally involved in. However, if it is the case that those asks are coming from the same person, I’d like to ask that they either stop or slow down the volume of asks. I consider this an act of spamming, which is against my blog rules. Spamming hogs the inbox and takes time away from me responding to other people’s asks. Please be respectful of your fellow readers, as my inbox is a shared space.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 1)

(Meme made by @eddo-tensei)

I'd like to apologize for this post taking so long, and my lack of activity this year in general. I've had a lot of things going on. I've been trying to search for a new career, I've been taking on more hours at work, I've started working out more, and I might be considering going back to school to pursue one of my career options. I've been very busy, and I know this isn't an excuse for the lack of content. I'm going to try making more posts on this blog when I can, because after this ranking post and the movie review, I won't have as many big projects to work on. With that being said, let's get to the main event.

I had very few positive things to say about Season 5, and it'll be reflected here. With Season 4, I at least had some clear outliers for the best and worst episodes, but because so many of these episodes blended together, it's hard to really rank them. At best, there were two or three episodes I thought were good, and not even really good like the highlights of Season 4. So this time, I'll be taking a page from one of Schaffrillas Productions' ranking videos, specifically his Illumination Entertainment ranking video. Rather than rank every episode from worst to best, I'm going to rank them from best to worst.

In a way, I'm giving you the quintessential Season 5 experience, starting off with high expectations before a gradual descent into mediocrity.

#1: Intuition

Season 5 really needed more episodes like this one. A good chunk of the season just defaulted to the same old Akuma of the week formula while Monarch stayed cooped up in his lair as usual. Yes, while it was justified thanks to his Cataclysm wound, it kept the writers from really capitalizing on his expanded arsenal other than giving Akumas powers he didn't need Miraculous to give them in earlier seasons. This episode is built on the three major aspects established at the beginning of the season that the writers should have been focusing on instead of Love Square drama: Gabriel secretly dying, Gabriel having access to over a dozen Miraculous, and Ladybug and Cat Noir needing to fight an uphill battle against Monarch.

For the most part, Monarch's plan is well thought out and the stakes feel high as a result. Not only does Monarch get creative with the Miraculous he has at his disposal, he exploits the heroic nature Ladybug and Cat Noir have by forcing them to choose between saving an innocent astronaut or the people of Paris. The meteor threatening Paris feels like a threat precisely because Ladybug and Cat Noir can't get any help to deal with something this big, and have to deal with it on their own. The fact that Monarch also essentially has a hostage trapped inside Bugfighter helps add to the drama.

This is the episode that arguably does the most with the space power-ups. Ever since they were introduced in the New York Special, they were mostly used by Ladybug and Cat Noir to fly across long distances, and even then, there were episodes where the writers forgot they could have used those forms to resolve the conflict (Crocoduel). Here, because most of the action is primarily set in space, the abilities of Cosmobug and Astro Cat are on full display, and it's a nice shakeup from the usual fights set in Paris.

But the best part of the episode is arguably Gabriel. While he does make multiple questionable decisions (whether they were intended to be seen as stupid by the writers is up for debate), this episode is a pretty decent character piece for Gabriel, and fleshes him out the most this season. Putting aside my problems with the writers changing the rules of the Snake Miraculous specifically so Gabriel can't use it like with the Rooster, Gabriel's behavior and body language really sells the fact that his days are numbered. For most of the season, Gabriel's Cataclysm wound was a mild inconvenience at worst, but this episode shows just why he can't go out to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir himself.

It's pretty ironic in a way. Even though he has fifteen Miraculous and is arguably the most powerful character in the show at this point, Gabriel's paranoia and arrogance prevent him from taking full advantage of his arsenal. Gabriel is so dead set on achieving his goal, he's willing to abuse the Snake Miraculous' power to find a way to win, despite the risks it has to his health. He can't trust any regular Akuma with Second Chance, and even a close ally like Tomoe isn't above being tricked by Gabriel using that same power. It's that same sense of narcissism that leads to his downfall, as while Gabriel has more power than Ladybug, he just can't outsmart her.

It's a really good episode, and was an exception to the kind of lousy writing we got during Season 5, instead of being the norm.

#2: Action

You know, it says a lot about the show when not only is arguably one of the most universally loved episodes in recent memory is the first in years to not have Astruc in the writing team, not only is it not connected to the ongoing story in any meaningful way, but it's also an environmental PSA, episodes that are usually not viewed in a positive light.

The characterization is somewhat strong here. Other than Nino being the one to lead the protests, nobody is really annoying or out of character, which works in the story's favor. There's no melodrama, no Marinette needing to learn some contrived lesson, or no Adrien being portrayed as being right about everything. It's the kids versus Big Plastic, and nothing else.

The thing that makes the story work is that compared to other environmental PSA episodes, it actually acknowledges how complicated of an issue the nature of pollution is. There aren't any characters who want to keep polluting the environment. There are just circumstances in place that prevent them from taking a stand against an injustice like this. Influential figures in Paris like Gabriel, Andre, and Nadja have connections to the company enabling the pollution, and whether it be for financial or political reasons, they're essentially dependent on it.

This kind of approach to the pollution extends to the antagonist, Bertrand. What I like about him is that compared to other rich people on this show, he's not incompetent or actively malicious. He just sees what he's doing as a business, and he can't think of any other ways to make money. He even points out how much plastic is used in modern society and that his company makes plastic for a reason. He's kind of like a less overtly antagonistic version of Mr. Waternoose from Monsters, Inc. in a way. He's aware of what he's doing, but he views profit as more important. The difference is that unlike Waternoose, Bertrand realizes the error of his ways and starts finding ways to change how his company operates.

However, this extends to one of the bigger problems I have with the episode. Because it spends so much time trying to flesh out the opposition's argument, it doesn't really give the audience enough reasons to support the heroes protesting. Yes, it's morally correct to protest, but there's nothing else to make the audience understand why they're in the right to oppose pollution. Considering how this was meant to be used to educate kids on pollution, I guess I can give it a pass for at least doing a decent job getting the point across, even if I personally would have given more of an explanation as to why the heroes are right.

What I can't give the episode a pass for is how the conflict is resolved. For an environmental PSA episode, I cannot for the life of me comprehend why the writers thought it would be a good idea for the Akuma of the week to be defeated by plastic and pollution. Like, my brother in Christ, you're supposed to teach kids about why pollution is a bad thing! Did nobody think about the implications this would bring? Actually, given the other things that happened this season, that probably checks out.

A pretty decent episode if not for the ending polluting the moral.

#3: Migration

While this one is one of the better episodes of Season 5, it still has its fair share of problems.

The most obvious one comes in the lesson its trying to teach with contrasting Bob and Jagged. It clearly wants to talk about redemption and self-improvement, but as I discussed in the overall analysis post, this show really doesn't have a good grasp on writing redemption arcs. For one thing, I really wouldn't compare Jagged becoming a better father to Bob being a selfish asshole because while Jagged abandoning his family was a terrible thing, since it was done more out of selfishness than outright malice. Bob on the other hand, is just a dick who wants to make money because this show's views on the business world make the Ferengi in Star Trek seem nuanced by comparison.

The episode spends so much more time showing how easy it is to be tricked by people rather than showing how important having trust in someone is, and it really muddles the lesson as a result. “See? Jagged changed easily, so that's a good enough reason to justify characters like Bob being irredeemably evil!” If you wanted to teach kids about trusting others, don't have it be in the same episode as the lesson about others taking advantage of your goodwill.

Putting that aside, Luka had a pretty decent swan song that tested his loyalty to Ladybug and Cat Noir. You can really buy his determination to keep their identities a secret from Monarch and his decision to leave his home to make sure this information stays a secret makes sense. Well, as long as you don't count Luka announcing the fact that he knows their identities to plenty of potential hostages and victims for Monarch, but then again, that moron never does anything smart with the intel he gets. We really needed more focus episodes showing the former temp heroes helping out Ladybug and Cat Noir in their own ways, not just having them all form a stupid resistance that does almost nothing useful all season.

The conflict with Gold Record also worked well here. I like how Monarch's simple plan to akumatize Luka turned into a plan to figure out Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities that just happened to use a different Akuma. I'd argue it was done better than in “Truth” because of how the victims aren't just forced to tell the truth, they're thrown out into space, so the stakes are pretty high. I'll admit the way they stop Gold Record is pretty anti-climactic, and you could argue Luka didn't even need to tell Ladybug he knew her identity with out easily the situation is resolved right after he's turned into a record. I think it would have worked better if Luka's secret was that he said he was jealous of Adrien for managing to be the one Marinette loves over him instead of just knowing the heroes' identities.

It's a flawed, but still okay episode to rewatch. It's a good thing Luka knew how bad this season was getting so he headed out the first chance he got. If only he stayed out of Paris instead of becoming one of Su-Han's students offscreen before the finale.

#4: Elation

You know this season is abysmal when, of all things, a Glaciator episode ends up making the top 5, and you know how much I love those episodes.

Of all the episodes to feature the Adrienette drama, I feel like this one had the best execution of it. You can really understand the emotional turmoil Marinette is going through and how hard things are for her. You also get how hard it is for Cat Noir to have to turn down the girl he loves after having so much fun with her. Remember, as far as he knows, he's taking advantage of his status as a superhero to make a move on a civilian like Marinette. The fact that he's aware of this and is willing to break it off himself is a far cry from the entitled little twerp he was last season. While I think Marichat could have been explored more, the fact that it ends here makes for a pretty solid transition into Adrienette becoming official next episode.

Alya also has some decent characterization here. Yeah, she goes against some of the things she said earlier this season, but we get a little glimmer of her Season 4 self by having her realize the error of her ways and actually make an attempt to support her friend. Of course, she goes back to the same old Season 5 Alya, but it's something.

Something I didn't really think about until after I originally posted the review was how confusing the episode's stance on shipping is. Like, we're supposed to side with Marinette and be against everyone trying to dictate who she's supposed to be in love with... but the people trying to tell her who she's in love with are technically right by pointing out her feelings for Adrien. Yes, nobody else knows that Adrien is Cat Noir, but with how much buildup Adrienette has gotten over the years, it's really confusing that the writers are acting like it's weird that people are obsessed with Marinette's love life. Pointing out how annoying Alya and Andre are by refusing to believe Marinette could have feelings for someone who isn't Adrien is basically the pot calling the kettle black.

Maybe if this was a Season 2 or 3 episode focusing on Marinette's growing feelings for Luka, this kind of story could have worked, but as it stands, it's a very confusing stance for the writers to take. Overall, a pretty decent episode.

#5: Evolution

It's the first part of what I like to call the “Remember When This Season Looked Kinda Promising?” Trilogy.

This episode really seemed like there was going to be a change in direction for Season 5 with how it was structured. Rather than immediately go back to the Akuma of the week formula, the characters, for the most part, make choices most people would make if they were in their shows. What does Gabriel do as soon as he gets all the Miraculous in the Miracle Ball? He whips out the Rabbit Miraculous and immediately decides to travel through time to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous before they can even stop him. The best part is that Ladybug almost immediately catches onto Monarch's plan and isn't too confused when Bunnix shows up to bring them along. Of course, both Ladybug and Monarch still do stupid things that contradict these smart decisions, but it's the thought that counts.

I like how this episode is taking advantage of its premise and makes it about a race through time to stop Monarch before he screws up history. It's a decent idea to call back to older episodes, but the issue is how they don't really do much to explain why nobody noticed this. Even events where the past versions of the heroes were right there when the current versions were fighting Monarch don't get so much as a mention. I think it could have worked more if they stayed undetected, but during the chaos of the fighting, our Ladybug accidentally sets up things past Ladybug could use for her Lucky Charm. That way, it would help sell the idea of this being more of a self-contained time loop.

Something that I actually thought was clever foreshadowing was when Monarch went back in time to save Emilie. He doesn't just steal the Peacock Miraculous or tell his past self to not use it. He specifically plans to give instructions to fix the broken Peacock Miraculous, as if to say one of its creations is too important to be erased from history...

Speaking of Sentimonsters, Cat Noir and Ladybug have some good teamwork here, confirming that we're finally done with the Cat Dour drama from last season. While I feel like it could have been handled better, I like the idea of Ladybug's guilt being what motivated her to trust Cat Noir with the Rabbit Miraculous, and when they go to see the younger version of Master Fu, they feel more like equals while choosing a Miraculous.

So with all the positive things I had to say, why isn't this episode higher on the list. Well, the thing is that when there weren't moments I enjoyed, most of my thoughts on this episode were like this:

A good chunk of the episode is the characters making stupid decision after stupid decision in order to make sure we get twenty-six more episodes. I can at least buy Monarch getting overconfident with all the new Miraculous he has, but Ladybug and Cat Noir don't get that excuse. They get a total of five chances to get back the Miraculous, but other than just getting the Rabbit back, Ladybug keeps choosing to say she's going to take the Miraculous back instead of just GRABBING THEM FIRST AND THEN GLOATING. There are James Bond villains who think you're taking too long. We're really supposed to see Monarch as a threat when the only reason why he keeps getting away is because the heroes are too stupid to do what any sensible person would do in their position. Seriously, if the Winx Club were the ones chasing Monarch throughout history, they'd most likely be spending more time discussing who's paying for milkshakes after they drop his bruised and battered body off at the police station.

And then there's Monarch himself, who has to be told to go back and save his wife instead of getting the Miraculous to make a wish. The episode tries to imply that Gabriel has more selfish intentions, but the finale pretty much throws that away and makes it so he just misses his wife. I'll give you a moment to process the shock of this show setting up a character arc and doing nothing with it. The fact that he blames Ladybug for his own mistakes is pretty much the only thing that connects the two, since Ladybug acts like Monarch is too powerful to stop in a fight when she kept screwing up chances to take back the Miraculous.

I also really don't like the way Master Fu and Alix were used in this episode. For one thing, if Ladybug and Cat Noir can easily use time travel to borrow Miraculous from the younger Fu, why can't they just do that until they stop Monarch? Yeah, they gave the Rabbit Miraculous to Alix, but why can't they just call her up to go to Fu for some Miraculous Ladybug and Cat Noir need? Speaking of, is nobody going to acknowledge the fact that Alix was just forced to become Bunnix after getting the Rabbit Miraculous? Last season made a big deal about how stressful Marinette becoming the Guardian was, and now we're just okay with Alix being forced to bear what is arguably an even bigger burden?

Overall, while not a terrible start to the season, it still had a lot to work on while still having its fair share of positive moments.

#6: Destruction

Much like with “Evolution”, there seemed to be some improvement here on the writing and characterization, but fell apart towards the end.

I like how Marinette, Alya, and Cat Noir all work together to outsmart Monarch with Alya distracting him long enough to follow the trap Ladybug and Cat Noir set up for him. It's a pretty clever gambit, and it's nice that Cat Noir actually gets to play a part in it. “Evolution” showed that Monarch was too powerful to take on in a fight, so a battle of wits is the best option to stop him, something that fits Ladybug perfectly.

I also like how, once again, the writers explain why Monarch can't use something as powerful as the Rooster Miraculous to win, even if it's a really stupid explanation. But hey, I'm just some moron who thinks that the Rooster Miraculous shouldn't be a diet version of the Power Cosmic.

Something that was very clever was the reveal of the episode taking place before a previous episode, “Multiplication”. It adds rewatch value to earlier episodes, it allows kids watching to figure out what happened without explaining every single part of the twist, and it's something this season really should have done more often.

However, that's where my compliments end here. The main problem with this episode is how the climax pretty much ruins the clever plan Ladybug set up. She takes forever to explain her plan to Monarch in great detail, and we're supposed to be surprised that Monarch managed to escape. She didn't even think to just pull off his Miraculous first and then gloat about how awesome she is. Hell, she somehow showed more concern over Monarch escaping thanks to her incompetence instead of Cat Noir accidentally Cataclysming him. But then again, this is the same person who will try to Cataclysm Monarch several times in the season finale. Something that's also weird is that they set up the idea of Monarch escaping with the Lucky Charm, but nothing ever comes of it. You'd think it would be important with how much emphasis is put on nothing else being able to heal Gabriel, but it's never mentioned in the season finale. It could have been an easy way to show Marinette resolving the conflict, by healing her greatest enemy and giving him the chance to better himself... instead of having Gabriel die and Marinette choosing to wash her hands of the whole “I let the universe end” thing.

This episode also showed just how forgettable the Kwamis are as characters. The show wants to make a big deal about how cruel Gabriel is to have control over them, but none of them have any real personality other than “Annoying toddler on a sugar high”. Even putting aside how insufferable they were last season, there's just not enough in this episode to really get you invested in their plight. Not even Trixx, the Kwami who got the most screentime other than Tikki and Plagg last season, gets a single line here.

This episode had promise, but the way it fumbled the landing really ruined it for me.

#7: Multiplication

I swear, I didn't intend for the first three episodes of Season 5 to be ranked like this in chronological order of all things. It was a happy accident, almost miraculous if you will.

Anyway, this episode was okay. It was a decent follow-up to “Evolution”. I like how it's more of a slow character piece for Marinette as she tries to deal with her guilt and conflicting feelings for Adrien after the betrayal. This was the few episodes that I feel really nailed the emotional moments with Marinette this season. There's no overdramatic dialogue, there's no exclusive focus on Adrien (at least at first), and it's played 100% seriously. I also thought it was a decent idea to have the people of Paris prepare for the worst with Monarch, even if it went nowhere. Even the Akuma was handled pretty well, as it allowed the writers to show off the gimmick this season with Ikari Gozen using Multiplication while Ladybug and Cat Noir get to show actual teamwork for a change.

But the problem with this episode was how nobody really seemed to care about the threat Monarch poses. Not only does Alya go back caring more about Marinette's love life, not only does everyone else in Paris seem to forget about Monarch after a few weeks, but Adrien's only role this episode is to realize his feelings for Marinette instead of thinking about the role he also played in Monarch getting all the other Miraculous. Yeah, who cares about serious introspection from someone who spent an entire season trying to show he's just as capable a hero as his partner while inadvertently being part of the reason why she lost her other allies? I want to see him try to kiss someone multiple times without their consent!

And yeah, let's talk about the kissing joke and how it's more than just unfunny, it's almost disgusting with how it's presented. We're supposed to laugh at Marinette for resisting Adrien's attempts to kiss her multiple times when she has every right to not want to be kissed without her consent. The entire joke is that it's happening just as Marinette is trying to get over her feelings for Adrien, but even if she still liked him, it's still against her consent Remember, this is the same show that tried to teach kids about the importance of consent in episodes like “Felix” and “Lies”, yet it never applied to Adrien in this episode, to the point where Alya tries to restrain Marinette so she can't resist or run away.

“But IOTA! It's a cultural thing in France!” Fine, maybe it is, but there's three problems with that. First, Adrien made it clear that he sees Marinette purely in a romantic light, not just as a acquaintance. Second, even if it was meant to be platonic, he didn't do it with Alya or Nino. Finally, if Marinette didn't want to be kissed the first time, that should have been it.

I don't care how socially stunted Adrien is, or how much everyone in the entire world ships Adrientte, if you see someone looking like this when someone is trying to kiss them:

DON'T SMILE, AND MAKE THAT PERSON RESPECT HER PERSONAL SPACE!

It's just such a terrible joke to make, and it this is coming from the season that tries to tackle serious issues like mental health and child abuse. How this episode didn't run into controversy like “Ephemeral” did, I'll never know. Just not a good episode, yet somehow, this still made the top ten.

#8: Perfection

This is an episode that had a decent Akuma, a pretty wholesome resolution, and... uh... Yeah, that's about it.

Of all the Kagami-centric episodes the show has ever done, this is the one that really shows us how she thinks. Because of the high standards her mother places on her, she believes that she can't have friends, and she has only herself to rely on. I like how rather than just default to her being constantly angry while akumatized, she's much more depressed, and most of the damage she causes is unintentional. Granted, I don't get how Monarch thought a giant cloud monster who can't see a thing will be able to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, but I still like how Ryukomori is presented.

On the other hand, despite being a Kagami focused episode, the writers somehow forgot what Kagami was like. She's usually a no-nonsense person who can see through lies and deception with ease, like what happened when she dumped Adrien in “Lies”. Here, she takes things so literally thanks to Lila's “friendship test”, I'm pretty sure Amelia Bedelia would tell her stop taking things so literally. The fact that this isn't just a one-off occurrence doesn't help at all.

If there's anything I could take away from rewatching this episode, it's that I finally understand the problem with this show's humor. The cow bit made me realize just how often this show will drag out its jokes to pad out the runtime, and the cow joke is a perfect example. It's mentioned a total of five times during the first half of the episode. It would have been just an unfunny joke if it was just a one-time thing, but the writers will take a joke and repeat it multiple times until it becomes incredibly annoying. It's like if Patrick kept asking Squidward if mayonnaise was an instrument in that one SpongeBob episode. The joke stops being funny if you keep reusing it over and over again in such a short timeframe.

The song Adrien sung before the Akuma was also incredibly forgettable and comes out of nowhere. I don't even get why they had him do this when Luka is usually characterized as the musician. Even Marinette is surprised Adrien can suddenly sing. Besides, I think we can all agree on what the perfect love song that would sweep Marinette off her feet is.

But yeah, for an episode titled “Perfection”, it's anything but.

#9: Protection

Again, I didn't intend for the direct follow-up to “Perfection” to be ranked right below it. I also want to clear up any confusion people have with this one, since Season 5's episode titles have been hard to memorize for some people. “Perfection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to peacefully resolve the conflict thanks to the power of friendship. “Protection” was an episode where Kagami got akumatized thanks to Lila's lies, only for Ladybug to treat her like any other Akuma because the power of friendship was meaningless. I hope I made things easier for you.

This is such a nothing episode. Pretty much everything that happens here is either reused from previous episodes or will continue to be used for the rest of the season. Gabriel tries to break up Adrienette, Lila is a liar, and Kagami is an idiot. There's just nothing to talk about here. The only thing that really stands out for me is the brief moments Marinette and Adrien shared as a couple. They're cute and have believable chemistry, but they're so few and far between. Nothing is accomplished in this episode, and even the stuff with Kagami and Lila is pretty much dropped after this.

Even the Akuma was forgettable. It's just Riposte with a meat cleaver and a diet version of Penalteam's powers. It lacks the emotional weight the resolution with Ryukomori had. It feels like these episodes were meant to be the same one, but were split up to fill the 26 episode count. Overall, just a boring episode, yet still one of the season's better outings if you can believe it.

#10: Jubilation

Yes, this is the one that made the top ten. I'm just as surprised as you are.

Putting aside the dream scene, the episode had some decent ideas, like Marinette struggling to deal with the stress that comes with being Ladybug, and other ways Gabriel can use the Alliance rings to his advantage. Even Cat Noir's emotional reaction to having to leave the dream was decently executed, even if there was no buildup to it. This is the kind of stuff I think we should have gotten more of this season, more character focus and Gabriel actually being a competent villain.

With that being said, there's still a lot of problems here. Socqueline comes out of nowhere, Mr. Damocles' portrayal here doesn't match up with how he is in other episodes this season (much less “Derision”, Socqueline's only other episode), and the dream sequence was creepy as all hell because the animators didn't have enough money to design older models for Ladybug and Cat Noir so they wouldn't be teen parents.

Just an average episode with a few memorable parts, for better or for worse.

#11: Reunion

Riddle me this, my dear readers: How do you write an episode where you want to utilize a fictional version of Joan of Arc, but can't include the visions from God or how she was burned at the stake, the two most well-known things about her? The answer? Turn her into a generic knight who speaks broken English even though she's supposed to be French, duh!

I don't know how you manage to take a concept like Joan of Arc being a former superhero and screw it up this much. She's pretty much only there to bitch and moan at Marinette, essentially body shames Adrien, and only becomes relevant because the Akuma of the week happened to be asking questions about history.

There really could have been done more with the Reunion concept, but this is the only time this season where it's used, and I'm sure it has nothing to do that Joan of Arc's model was used in “Ephemeral”. But when has the show ever come up with excuses to reuse older models this season? I mean, besides young Master Fu in “Evolution”, the other temp heroes in “Determination”, Mister Bug and Lady Noire in “Passion”, and Scarabella in “Revelation” that is.

This episode also tries to tackle conspiracy theorists with Jalil, but it fails because you understand where he's coming from. He is literally the only character in the entire show to think, “Hey, isn't it kind of fucked up that my little sister was forced to become a guardian of time before she graduated middle school while not even getting to say goodbye to me, her only brother?” Yes, the moral isn't a bad one, but Jalil isn't wrong to be paranoid about Ladybug given how she evidently never talked to him about this, much less give Bunnix the chance to say goodbye herself.

The Akuma also really made no sense for Jalil. If he's supposed to be seeking the truth, why is he asking random historical trivia questions? How does knowing the year Sputnik was launched into space relevant to finding out if Ladybug is honest or not? It's almost like the writers have already created multiple Akumas with powers connected to honesty, so this is an overused idea (Oni-Chan, Truth, Lies).

It's just a very forgettable episode, much like how much the writers just forgot the Reunion idea for the rest of the season. Seriously, did anyone remember Plagg gave Adrien a Kwagatama at the end of this one?

#12: Passion

In my opinion, this was the episode that set up two of the biggest problems with Season 5: Extremely contrived Love Square drama and Nathalie's incompetence preventing her from ending the conflict then and there.

While I'm glad we're finally getting a Nathalie focused episode, the issue I have with it is just how the writers are clearly trying to portray her with Adrien's best interests in mind, she still doesn't do anything to actually stop Gabriel other than complaining about how evil Gabriel is while still going along with his plans. She willingly accepts an Akuma from the same man she's claims she's protecting Adrien from and still follows his plans for absolutely no reason. Why Gabriel still keeps her around, much less trusts her with an Akuma, is beyond me.

Rewatching this episode made me realize just how pointless Nathalie is this season. It feels like the writers needed to have Nathalie oppose Gabriel but didn't know how to do that without having her rat him out to Ladybug and Cat Noir. All they really had to do was have her fall into the same coma Emilie is in, and it would not only take her out of the picture. That way, it would remove any concern that Nathalie could expose Gabriel and it would better justify Tomoe's inclusion this season. Instead, a good chunk of this episode is Nathalie and Gabriel making it clear that they hate each other while still choosing to work together for no reason.

The actual backstory for Nathalie was okay. I like how she's more than just some secretary who was informed of the Miraculous and later teamed up with Gabriel, instead being a treasure hunter who specializes in locating magical artifacts like the Miraculous. It's a clever bit of character development and I like how it ties into her Akuma form for the episode. Of course, it's somewhat ruined by the fact that we still don't know why Gabriel and Emilie wanted to find the Miraculous in the first place, not even after five seasons.

Putting aside Nathalie generally being an idiot, the rest of the episode was pretty mediocre. It's more Love Square drama, with Marinette's concerns about how her feelings for Adrien led to Monarch getting fifteen Miraculous being brushed aside as her denying how she really feels. Only now, the episode is going out of its way to make it seem like all Marinette can do is all but lust over whoever she's in love with, in this case, Cat Noir/Mister Bug. Because actually acknowledging character flaws and how they affect the narrative while playing them for laughs is how Miraculous Ladybug rolls. Decades from now, episodes like this will be commonplace, I just know it.

The Akuma fight was also pretty lackluster. I don't get why Safari's arrows only targeted Ladybug and Cat Noir, and only Ladybug and Cat Noir while they were transformed instead of, you know, targeting their Miraculous. It just felt like a cheap excuse to get some more mileage out of the Mister Bug and Lady Noire models. Well, that, and more of Lady Noire prioritizing her romantic feelings over the mission at hand.

While I can appreciate the attempt to flesh out Nathalie's character, it's not enough to salvage this episode.

#13: Deflagration

Before I start this section, can anyone tell me why the hell it's named a chemistry term of all things?

The wiki claims that it's referencing what Tikki and Plagg do in the episode, but I don't think that continuously creating and destroying stuff counts as deflagration. Then again, I'm some schmuck on the internet, not a chemist.

Anyway, this episode is clearly trying to come across as an event, but nothing is really accomplished here. Marinette and Adrien already got together in the last episode, the Akuma didn't do anything to advance Monarch's plan, Zoe's character development as Kitty Noire is nonexistent, Alya being exposed for the third time ends up being pointless since Scarabella appears in “Revelation” a few episodes later, and no progress is made in stopping Monarch. It's just one big fight scene that lacks real tension because Monarch is reduced to a joke in this episode.

Monarch is seriously dogpiled by several middle school students, and the show still expects us to take him seriously as a villain. I can at least buy Sole Destroyer, given how Chloe is supposed to be seen as harmless sometimes, but the main villain getting beaten by kids with no superpowers? It just really breaks the suspension of disbelief. It'd be like if Kevin McCallister somehow defeated Godzilla with one of his traps. You're not impressed by Kevin taking him down, you're asking why Godzilla went down so easily.

This was the episode where the writers started making dumb blonde jokes by making it so Chloe doesn't understand the meaning of the word “Generous”, and it's just as unfunny as it sounds. Not only is this hypocritical because this “girl power” show is now using one of the most misogynistic writing tropes in history, it's the same episode with a title named after a chemical reaction that most children watching don't understand. Chloe didn't even serve a purpose this episode because nobody ever fought Sole Destroyer onscreen. It's just another “Ha! She's blonde and rich, so that means she's dumb!” joke... which came before a certain episode that showed her as being capable of pulling off several complex schemes to torment Marinette.

I also love how despite making a big deal about them being worthy to be Ladybug and Cat Noir's replacements last episode, Alya and Zoe are taken out of commission before the action even starts. I feel like the episode could have at least been elevated if Alya and Zoe at least tried to help. It would have better justified them temporarily replacing Ladybug and Cat Noir instead of the cheap ratings grab it was.

But yeah, it's a pretty dull episode, and the only reason why I don't have more to say is because the first part has more glaring issues in my eyes.

Part 2

[febuwhump]

febuwhump 2024 survey results

has it been six months since febuwhump? yes. yes it has. nevertheless, here's the cold hard data (analysis) of the survey from febuwhump 2024: feb five.

firstly, this year was our most popular yet! with 1417 works in the official collection across 329 fandoms, we made (and shared) 103 fics more than 2023, and 770 more than my first year running febuwhump in 2021! this isnt even including all the art and fics posted to tumblr, or wasn't shared during the event, which would put our total so much higher!

the prompt list had 4000+ notes and i received 115 responses to the survey.

there were 62 people in the hall of fame, up from 51 in 2023.

the blog hit 2,683 followers, up from 1,946 at the end of the 2023 event.

across two independant check, based on the average word count of 2,000 words per fic in the 2024 collection, and aware of the multi-chapter fics (some of which were finished after the event), it is estimated that 2.8 million words were written for febuwhump 2024. which is just. fucking insane.

now, onto the survey results!

firstly: in what way did you participate in Febuwhump this year?

with extra write-ins not pictured, fanfiction was the overwhelming winner with 92 responses (82.6%), followed by original fiction (22.6%) and artwork (11.3%). interesting to me personally is the 4 responses who wrote poetry and the not-pictured 1 response who created web-weaving! which is very cool and i would like to see it.

fandoms

according to the survey:

the most popular fandoms written for were the star wars universe and legend of zelda universe (8/115 responses)

21 responses included original fiction

the majority of responses also referenced more than one fandom, meaning less people stuck to a single fandom or topic the entire time.

according to the collection:

21 anime/manga fandoms were represented

51 books/literature fandoms were represented, 12 being specific star wars subseries

24 RPF fandoms were represented, including bands and minecraft servers

the most popular fandoms written about in the collection were:

star wars (all media types) - 253 works

star wars: the bad batch - 80 works

torchwood - 66 works

original work - 56 works

my hero academia - 54 works

why and how

next, there were a lot of really lovely responses about why participants took part in febuwhump, a few favourite and repeated responses being that it seemed fun, they'd done it before and so wanted to do it again, and they liked to write about their favourite characters suffering. also, multiple people have been doing it for three of the four years i've been running it (of five total), and several were encouraged by friends!

the majority of participants discovered febuwhump through tumblr, the admin's tumblr, ao3 fics and discord servers. a handful said there's apparently a google doc floating around that houses a whump event calendar. i would be interested in seeing that if anyone's got it.

did you participate in Febuwhump 2020, 21, 22 or 23?

the majorty of respondants were new comers to febuwhump at 66.1% "no" to 33.9% "yes". the majority of comparisons to previous years referenced a noticably bigger community, more interaction on the blog, and the admin being more "confident" (oh, you guys), however several noted that the prompts felt more repetitive or samey this year than they did previously.

are you a Febuwhump completionist or participant?

a fairly even split, 51.3% of participants didn't finish compared to the 48.7% who did. however, only 88.1% of those completionists submitted to the hall of fame.

for those who didn't complete, the most common amount of prompts completed was 2 (13.6%), 3 (11.9%) and 12 or 6 (6.8%).

the most common place to share prompt fills was tumblr (74.8%), ao3 (72.2%), or choosing not to share at all (7%). several write-in responses said that they were planning to share in the future but hadn't yet. and while 76.4% of people submitted to the ao3 collection, those who didn't claimed it to be because the fics weren't ready to be shared on time, they weren't following the rules so didn't add to the collection, an inability to find the collection on ao3 (i swear i'm working on it) or shyness/fear.

what went well/even better if:

the only actual criticsm of the event received was that the blog was posting in a "spam"-like way, to the point that the participant almost unfollowed (and another suggested a reblog tag so it could be ignored easier if people didn't want to see the works throughout the month).

several comments asked for a later deadline for submission to the collection/hall of fame, which is going under advisement, but the current position is that by doing so, it makes the event a different event. there are no stakes to actually create once a day if, at the end of it, you actually get 2 weeks of extra time.

another couple mentioned there being too many dialogue prompts and vague prompts. this will be considered during the next voting period and prompt collation - potentially, if i allowed less dialogue prompts into the final 100 vote, less would make it through to the official 28, however the voting itself is out of my hands (unless voter fraud occurs once again).

the main suggestion for improvement (8 times out of 44 suggestions) was for an additional mod to help with reblogging more. (which imo flies in the face of the "spamming" from earlier, but there is surely a middle ground). this is likely to not happen, because i like running the event alone, despite the major burnout i receive every single year without fail. but thanks for your concern lol.

on discord:

31.3% of participants were in the discord server (which, this year, ignored the first year's 100 user cap and had 172 total users).

43.6% of people who didn't join the server did so because they hadn't heard of it, while the majority didn't join because they were either shy (the minorty) or don't use/like discord (the vast majority). i don't know if tumblr still does groupchats and if that would be a viable alternative, or if there is another forum/chat location that would work better (or to have in tandem), but i am open to suggestions.

of the people who were in the channel, most (33.3%) used it "rarely", followed by "most days" (25%) and "for half the month" (22.2%)

febuwhump 2025

the majority of responses wanted next year's colour scheme to either be red or green, but shout out to everyone who wanted orange, the person who said "children's hospital" and the other person who gave me this specific hex code: #4BEC13

which is vile, but also another vote for green.

finally, here are my favourite suggestions for febuwhump 2025's colloquial name. previously, we have endured febuwhump 2: electric boogaloo, febuwhump 3: tokyo drift, fourbuwhump and feb five.

febuwhump 6 suggestions:

fe6uwhump (which, i'll be honest, is a real contender)

"I don't know"

febuwhump 666

febuwhump: revenge of the sixth

"I don't know, sorry"

"febuwhump sex and make all the prompts kinky"

"??? i have been thinking about this for 10 mins"

febuwhump 6(9)

feBEEwhump

"i am bad at this"

"could not care less"

febuwhump feb five 2: electric boogaloo

apparently, i accidently made this a mandatory question and that made some of you mad :(

and that's the wrap up survey, six months late! any questions/queries/want to see some of that cold hard data? send me an ask. i'll actually respond to it i swear! (probably!)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Cory Doctorow Humble Bundle

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then San Francisco (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

It's been 21 years and 29 days since Tor Books published my first novel, Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom. In the years since, Tor has published every one of my novels, sending me around the USA and Canada to talk about them. Now, they've teamed up with Humble Bundle to sell 18 of my ebooks on a name-your-price basis, with part of the proceeds going to benefit EFF:

https://www.humblebundle.com/books/cory-doctorow-novel-collection-tor-books-books

I've been associated with EFF even longer than I've been published by Tor! My first novel came out while I was working EFF's first-ever booth at CES. I split my time between the booth and my motel room, where I paid $0.25/call to dial up to Earthlink's local number and manage the launch-day publicity. Over the years, I've benefited immensely from Tor's editorial and publicity departments, working with brilliant publishing people like Patrick Nielsen Hayden, Patty Garcia, Dot Lin, Laura Etzkorn, Elena Stokes, Sarah Reidy, Lucille Rettino, and of course, Tor founder Tom Doherty.

But I like to think that it was a two-way street. Tor and I have come a long way together on ebooks: most visibly, they allowed me to publish several novels under Creative Commons licenses (my first book was the first ever CC book, coming out just weeks after the licenses themselves launched). As my editor Patrick Nielsen Hayden said at the time, "Ebooks have the worst hours-in-meeting-to-dollars-in-revenue ratio of anything in my publishing career. Why not?"

https://craphound.com/down/download/

Just as important – but less visible – was Tor's willingness to let me insist that all my books be published without DRM, meaning that anything you buy on say, Amazon, can be moved to any reader program if you decide to start getting your ebooks elsewhere. This worked so well that in 2012, Tor became the first major publisher in the world to ban DRM on all its ebooks, flying me, John Scalzi and Charlie Stross to New York City to announce it this at a big, splashy event at Book Expo America:

https://web.archive.org/web/20130512022634/https://tor.com/blogs/2012/06/tor-books-announces-e-book-store-doctorow-scalzi-a-stross-talk-drm-free

Tor's unique status as the sole major DRM-free publisher in the world was well timed! That same year, I curated the very first Humble Ebook Bundle, which was very top-heavy with Tor titles, and raised more than $1,000,000 for the writers, publishers and charities associated with it:

https://web.archive.org/web/20121017215636/http://www.humblebundle.com/

That opened the floodgates to a series of Humble Bundles, tempting other major publishers to dabble with DRM-free, including Simon and Schuster:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-I5QyAfglU

And Harpercollins:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHMLfeCrCrE

Now, 12 years after that inaugural Humble Ebook Bundle, I find myself honored by being the subject of a bundle of my own (it helps that I've written a hell of a lot of books in the intervening years). Included in the bundle are (nearly) all of my Tor novels and novellas: The Lost Cause; "The Canadian Miracle" (a Lost Cause story); Red Team Blues; Radicalized; Walkaway; "Party Discipline" (a Walkaway story); Pirate Cinema; Rapture of the Nerds (with Charlie Stross); For The Win; Makers; Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town; Eastern Standard Tribe, Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, Little Brother, Homeland, Attack Surface, and "Lawful Interception" (a Little Brother story).

(The sole exclusion is The Bezzle, which came out two weeks ago and is already a USA Today national bestseller!)

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

Also included in the bundle is Poesy the Monster Slayer, my 2020 picture book for the littlies:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627/poesythemonsterslayer

All these books are delivered as DRM-free epub files. The Bundle runs for the next three weeks, and the minimum buy-in is $18 – that's just $1/book (full retail value is $187). Of course, you can name a higher price, and, as with all Humble Bundles, you can adjust the final split to share out the money between me, EFF, and the Humble folks.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/03/humbly-bundled/#eff-too