#two is just NEVER gonna be as interesting as three

[potheadkiki]

HII... hear me out. Pool sex with katsuki..??

I know you want pool sex but honestly sex in one of those hot springs sounds so much better

⚠Warning⚠

18+ content

Bakugo being a simp but refusing to admit it

Pet names (princess, angel, babe, etc)

Some slut shaming but it's fine

Chubby reader

Bakugo is 6'4

Reader is goth

Marijuana

Reader has the ability to sonic scream similar to black Canary

Side note I am taking more requests if anyone is interested

After UA everyone is class 1-a kept in close contact. Coincidentally both you and Bakugo are in neighboring agencies and see each other quite often at mixers and group parties. One day both agencies claimed that after the most recent villain attack that everyone needed to take a break so each company decided that every hero draw a number and the two heroes that drew the same number would leave for a week to go to an all expenses paid spa with traditional rooms and a private hot spring bath. Today was no different, everyone is lined up and as one of the assistants comes along with a jar everyone grabs a piece of paper, today's number was 78, unfolding your little piece your heart stops, 78 in bold is staring back at you, stepping forward claiming the first spot wondering who you'll be going to the resort with. The agency is on FaceTime and you watch as Bakugo steps forward on the screen holding the same number as you and you feel as your stomach flips your going to be alone with him for a week, he'll be in one of those kimonos and as you imagine it your face heats up. You've been in love with this guy ever since your days at UA he'd never see you that way of course you may be smart and have a sonic scream but you're also a slacker pot head from the US. You hear as everyone cheers for you and congratulates you on being able to take the week off with Bakugo no less. Finishing up the rest of your shift trying to ignore all the comments everyone is making some rude or snarky, your friends however made encouraging remarks and how this could be your chance to seduce him. As your day comes to an end your phone vibrates looking at it your heart races

Bakugo: Guess you're gonna be in my space for a week huh?

Reading the message you laugh he hasn't changed really

You:Yeah I guess so huh you'll just have to forgive me

You reply attempting to be a little flirty but also keep the same energy

Bakugo: I'll find some way you can make it up to me don't worry

Reading that your heart is basically in your asshole I mean how are you supposed to respond to that. You're going to be alone with him and now the entire time this will be all you can fucking think about.

You: yeah you do that lol

You reply trying to defuse the situation and not think about losing your virginity on a work paid vacation.

Bakugo: oh don't doubt me I will

You have no idea what to say simply telling him that you'll see him in the morning and to sleep well.

--next day

You make your way to the agencies where they have a company car that they'll give you unfortunately you don't have your license so that means Bakugo will have to drive he just scoffs at that but you smile

Putting your things in the trunk you're kinda nervous honestly the only bathing suit you have is a bikini with mushrooms that is kinda low cut. Grabbing the special blanket with dragons on it that you've had since high school and need with to sleep successfully, slipping in the passenger seat getting comfy. Bakugo seeing this and scoffing again before saying

"Look at you fucking passenger princess ass" you blush at that he wasn't being mean or rude

"It's a three hour drive bakugo I wanna be comfy"you say shyly holding your blanket close to your chest

"Yeah yeah whatever get comfy then princess it's gonna be a long drive" he says placing the car in reverse putting his hand on the back of your seat watching as he turns his head to see where he's going before pulling out of the parking spot once he's out he puts the car in drive and your face goes red not only did he just call you princess but he did that thing when driving too not realizing the smirk on his face as he pulls on the highway the smirk of victory.

Bakugo has been thinking about this since yesterday morning he's going to get a week with you alone completely. He's basically been in love with you ever since you transferred to the hero course here in Japan. You're smart, kind, beautiful, and you rarely care what others think of you and he loves that. He's aware you smoke it helps with your quirk apparently. He has discovered that he has quite a thing for watching you smoke. The way you purse your lips and inhale, the way you lick your lips when dry, the way the smoke escapes past your lips. Fuck he needs to focus on driving he can't be hard right now. Taking a quick glance towards you he sees you cuddle up with said blanket, only one earbud in with something playing on your phone, you however seem interested. He doesn't want that. He wants to talk to you, he wants to be at the center of your attention. He knows its toxic and crazy since he himself needs to focus on driving but that doesn't mean they can't talk. Right?

"Put your phone down and talk to me. If I fall asleep at the wheel it's your damn fault." He says glancing in your direction.

"If this is your way of asking for me to start a conversation with you then I definitely feel like you could have done that differently but okay" you say huffing out a laugh before continuing the conversation

"What's the first thing you want to do when you get? I know personally I want to soak in that gorgeous hot spring maybe smoke a little joint, if its okay with you of course." He watches you say that with a cheeky smile. Maybe he'll join you this week is after all supposed to be relaxing and that does sound quite nice.

"what a dumb question of course imma see if they have a gym" you rolling your eyes thinking naturally

"Then find some to eat maybe and maybe in between everything I'll join you if I feel like it of course." He says side eyeing you with a slight smile only to catch that you're sporting a similar cheeky smile with pink cheeks. And that's how it went for the next three hours idle chit chat and stupid questions mostly. So when he pulls up to this large log house that has steaming chimney your pupils basically turn into hearts. It's gorgeous the way the sun hits against the large mountains and shines through the trees god you never want to leave and you haven't even stepped into the building.

Once you've both registered with secretary and got your room key (turns out its one of those two in one rooms with a single bamboo room divider) but bakugo opted for just opening the divider doors claiming they'res just more space this way they would have had to share the hot spring anyways since it's a connected room and all. Most of the time they were assigned to people with relativity large families or two pro heroes on vacation. He watches in amusement as your eyes light up again before turning back around and clapping your hands together exclaiming 'right' turning your head to face him giving a soft smile

"I'm about to pack a cone and change into my bikini would you like to join me for a soak and smoke if will" He rolls his eyes at that god you can be so corny sometimes but he listens as you go on

"Then we could find some place to eat or order in either or I don't care"

"yea whatever just let me know when you're done I'm not gonna sit around in my damn trunk" He says with a slight blush thinking of the two of you together alone in a steamy bath while you wear a bikini, fuck he feels like a teenager again and he hates it. He manages to busy himself which in hindsight may could have been a mistake because when he hears you clear your throat, whipping his head around he's faced with you in a mushroom styled bikini top that hugs your tits perfectly, realizing just how big they are considering you usually wear large/baggie t-shirts, and a simple pair of black bottoms that hug your ass perfectly, letting a groan slip past his lips as he stands up quickly

"Jesus woman you scared the shit out of me, just wait for me outside I'll be out there in like 10 minutes" he says not making eye contact with you as he walks away. You step outside washing yourself off before heading over and sitting at the edge with your feet dangling into the water, gently moving your feet back and and forth in a swishing motion making sure no water actually plashes up at you, not yet at least, lighting a joint with wet hands is a real bitch, your thoughts only really stopping when you hear the pitter patter of bakugos bare feet against the smooth rock turning your head you give him a smile

"Hey I waited for you before smoking I wasn't sure if you wanted to or not but if you did we could share" You say with that stupid smile while holding up said joint and an ORAGNE lighter he doesn't know why but it makes his heart jump at the thought that maybe you bought it thinking of him little does he know how right he actually is.

"Okay jesus let me rinse off first before you start rushing me" Rolling your eyes at this but giving a slight okay anyways. You can't help as your eyes follow his every movement watching as his back muscles flex and constrict due to his movements. Blush enveloping your face and a little of your neck god your going to be spending a week here with this man. Bakugo being a little tipsy as he took some shots of Soju to help calm his nerves but its doing the exact opposite making smoking will help he thinks thats when he smells it, the potent stench of marijuana. Turning his head he watches as you stand up water splashing as you walk towards him with the joint between your lips gently sucking and exhaling the smoke, he watches as your hips sway walking towards him, getting close to his face pushing said joint up against his lips as a silent plea to open his mouth and when he does you get a full whiff of alcohol and you take a step back as you look at him

"Were you in there drinking? Whats up? You know you can tell me anything right?" You say leaning down a little to make sure you force eye contact since he's been avoiding it. You watch as he groans and takes a hit before coughing slightly and handing the joint back to you without saying anything he steps into the water submerging himself halfway into the steaming water before looking back at you as a silent way of asking if your coming or not and you do walking over and you sit next to him smoking the joint a little, looking at him as he scratches the back of his neck almost ashamed, opening his mouth but he doesn't say anything so you hand him the joint again, he's clearly nervous, taking it from your hand he inhales harshly handing it back to you as he falls into a small coughing fit. Watching as he sputters a little, laughing at him a little amused, getting in closer to gently rub his back and help calm his breathing again. Not realizing that in getting to close your breast have pressed up against his side in hopes of calming him down

"Okay i'm fine now so you can move" He says shifting away from you and you smile a little giving a short 'sorry' you say looking at him in hopes that since you moved away he would tell you whats wrong with him

"Okay so we met in ua and you've always been so annoying with that damn smile of yours and the way you laugh,being able to light up a room with a single twinkle from your eye and that isn't even your quirk, I remember thinking for a split moment that maybe you were just like icy-hot with two of em but no and even after all that your damn smile was still to bright. Then we got put in neighboring agencies and we drew this dumb fucking lottery" And threw this whole interaction you could tell he was getting frustrated and you weren't entirely sure where he was going with this but it clearly has something to do with pent up feelings so you grab his hands taking a leap of faith pushing them against your chest getting closer looking at him with pleading eyes

"Please don't stop. I want to hear what you have to say. All of it." You say holding his hands tight against your breast and you watch as he looks away a blush spreading to the tip of his ears

"Fuck I just- I don't know I'm still trying to figure how to say shit" he says quickly and you realize that's true he's always been a man of action

"Well don't say anything then" you say gripping his hands pressing your breasts harder into his arm getting closer, he looks at you thinking that maybe it's the alcohol or the weed but whatever it was he could feel his inhibition lowering along with his head as his lips connect with yours, groaning as you push your chest up against his, slipping into his lap as his arms wrap around your waist possessively squeezing you tight, pulling away you giggle at his possessiveness

"Why you squeezing me so tight?" You say laughing a little more and he hides his face in your breasts before mumbling something and you grip his hair a little which seems to get the memo as he pulls away

"Like hell I'm letting you go now" he mumbles hiding his face in your neck as his hips rut up against yours causing you to gasp out changing angles which puts his face right in between your breasts as his grip on you tightens and his rutting becomes rougher the water begins of the hot springs sloshing with his movements as you grip his hair grinding down and meeting his thrusts until he suddenly stops causing you to let out a whine and he pulls away from your chest much to his dismay chuckling

"I'm not cumming till I get to feel that pussy wrapped 'round me" he says almost slurred as his eyes droop grabbing your ass roughly as he picks you up sitting you on the stone side and you shiver arching your back against him

"It's cold Suki" you say whining as you feel goosebumps spread across your body and he just rolls his eyes

"You'll be fine. I gotta open you up baby" he says and you blush you've only had sex three times neither of them enjoyable which is something you should probably admit but you don't want to ruin the mood because you want to be with him and you can feel your mind running

"Hey speak up tell me to stop" he says and you grip his hand

"No! God no please. I want to be with you but I've only done this a couple of times and none of them enjoyable so I don't want to disappoint you with my own inexperience. But it's not like I think this will be bad or anything and that's another reason I'm nervous" you say but realize that you've been rambling quickly but you see as his eyebrows scrunch

"So you're worried that you won't be able to keep up and that basically I'm going to fuck you like no one else could?" He says kinda nonchalant and a blush spreads across your face at how he could simplify your insecurities in a crude way. But you giggle

"Yeah I guess kinda. I mean everyone talks about how good it can feel like leg shaking and it's scary and what if you leave after or think I make a weird face" you say giggling a little throwing your hands up in defeat

"Well I want to do with you no pressure, obviously, but I can also guarantee that I will make you feel good and like hell I'm leaving your ass I already got a taste of you." He says with a smile leaning in between your legs nibbling at your left ear

"You promise" you say a little wobble to your voice. His hands are exploring your thighs gripping, squeezing and even pinching at your thigh

"Trust me baby I fuckin promise you're stuck with me now." You giggle a little and he leans in kissing your cheek

"Okay well I'm done over thinking. You gonna fuck me now?" At that his lips connect with yours, his hips slotting between your thighs as one of his hands slips behind your back grabbing one of the loose strings pulling it untying the top. Once untied he slips the straps down your arms throwing your top somewhere, pulling away licking his lips as he grabs at your boobs kissing your chest before he moves his way down to your right breast. Holding your right breast up he gently suckles on the nipple as his left hand tugs and pinches at your other one. Feeling as he nibbles and bites at your nipple tugging with his teeth causing your back to arch and grip at his hair feeling him still grounding down on you. His left hand travels down your stomach and slips into your bottoms as his head moves towards your left nipple giving it the same attention and hickies. He pulls away slipping his hand out your pants causing you to whine in an exaggerated manner to show your disappointment.

"Cmon don't be a brat I gotta get you out of these" he says referring to your bottoms and you blush as his hands grab at the hem of them looking at you to indicate to lifting your hips up and you do listening happily at the implications. God the man you're in love is about to finger you and it turns out he feels the same way I mean like what? That's crazy?

"Mhm damn look that pussy baby"he says with a wicked grin leaning down getting into the water until he's face to face with your pussy feeling as it throbs while it clenches and unclenches around nothing covering your face in shame because you just know he can see it happen and judging by his laugh you're right.

"Mhm look at this desperate pussy clenching around nothing you're so desperate aren't you baby?" He asks clearly rhetorically since he doesn't wait for you to respond before he slips his pointer finger inside curling it up searching for that spongy spot inside and he can tell instantly when he finds it based on how you whine and clench your thighs around his head that was barely a breath away from your pussy almost feeling his breath fan against your most sensitive area. He laughs at your sensitivity deciding to add his middle finger repeating the same action curling his fingers upwards. Feeling his breath get closer and closer until you feel his tongue lick at your clit. Your head throws back, grabbing a fist full of his hair from the intense stimulation finding ground yourself to something as you feel his fingers move curl non stop and his lips suck and lick at your clit. Feeling as not only your thighs clench around his head but the knot in your stomach as well. Back arching deeper as his fingers do the same inside you so desperate to make you cum

"I'm-im gonna cum Suki fuck I can feel it!" You exclaim as your back gives out falling back against the stone as you cum on his face thighs shaking and convulsing as his fingers milk you for everything your worth. You feel as his fingers gently pull out whining at the loss. Whining about the stones being cold Bakugo laughs at you calling you a baby and you watch as he licks his lips as he grabs your wrists pulling you back into the water as he sits down on the middle step pulling you down with him landing on lap realizing he must have ditched his swimming trunks at some point looking down in the water blushing god he's so big

"Like what you see baby? This is what's gonna go inside you baby." He says whispering in your ear as he grinds his cock against your bare pussy. Gasping as you wrap your arms around his neck tight clearly nervous at the anticipation

"If you want to stop we can" he says clearly being able to sense your nervousness. But you pull away quickly

"No! I mean no. *you say gasping trying to keep your cool* I don't want to stop I'm just a little nervous. So please just be gentle with me" you say seductively grinding down and he groans

"God damn you're gonna be the death of me you know that?" And you giggle at the comment. Kissing his cheek

"Alright princess take a deep breath" he says lovingly as you feel him lift your hips gasping as you feel his cock rub at your clit before poking at your entrance

"Alright babe breath for me" he says as he pushes his hips up against yours. Your head throws back again to the feeling of him stretching you open, his hands grip at your waist pushing you down as well to meet his hips until he's completely bottomed out inside you. He can feel as your breath hitches and your heart quickens

"Breath" he says as you feel his right hand rub circles into your lower back. There's a proud smile on his face as he realizes that almost instantly you try to regain control of your breathing. God she's such a good girl he thinks. Feeling as you begin to move your hips grinding down slowly.

"Yeah baby? You gonna use me and my cock to please yourself?" He asks as he buries his face into your breasts sucking hickies into your sternum as his own hips begin to move. Water sloshing with the movement of both of you.

"Mhm you feel that baby? Are your thighs shaking for me?" He asks clearly proud of himself you both keep a steady pace as he fucks into you and you meet his thrusts feeling the pressure build again as your thighs do shake from the pleasure but they're beginning to burn your so fucking to close to cumming again you just can't keep going fuck

"Please- please *gasping* I can't keep doing it my thighs burn help me" you whine burying your face into his neck as you suck your own bruises into the skin. He groans at the feeling but you feel as his hand grab at your ass cheeks pulling them apart slightly as he begins fucking up against you roughly hitting your g-spot perfectly as his other hand slips between your bodies finding your clit and begins to play with it.

"Mhm damn I can you clenching around me love. You gonna cum. Yea fucking cum do it for me. I'm so close too." He says hips moving more erratic so desperate to make you cum first. And his efforts begin to pay off as he feels you clench around him the same as you did against his fingers.

"I can feel you clenching. I know you're gonna cum just do it." He says and that's basically all it takes before you're cumming around him but that doesn't stop his own thrusting. You feel as he picks you up sitting you against the stone as he fucks into you harsher cumming inside you as he pulls out you whine and he laughs

"Why did you put me back on the stone? It's cold." You whine as he rolls his eye

"I didn't want to cum in the water. Don't want to ruin the hot spring do we? Still wanna be able to use it yeah?" He says kissing you and you blush cause he's right god how embarrassing. He picks you up and takes you to the bathroom sitting you on a stool that sits in front of the shower head.

"Alright love let's get cleaned up then we can smoke a little more and cuddle. Yeah?" And you blush at that cuz fuck yeah that sounds amazing. The fact that he fucked your brains out, is gonna bathes you and then smoke with you while watching TV god you really are in love.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Nonblacks in fandoms are literally brainwired to not care about black characters.When it comes to Disney Princess ship aus it's always Ariel and Eric or Rapunzel and Eugune but never Tiana and Naveen or Brandy's Cinderella and Paolo's Prince Charming.Hazel is a trio with Nico and Percy but is always replaced with Jason for 'The Big Three Boys' despite Percy being closer to her and Jason only becoming friends with Nico being used as a pity case for him by witnessing him being force outed and is defanged even though she's on par with Percy and her design whitefeminized because Pjo fans can't comprehend black girl features as feminine.Allura was the only good part of Voltron but she was bashed for daring to be the love of the lives of the two fan fave male characters instead of them realizing they only 'think' they hate eachother and applied every misogynoir stereotype to her under the guise of progressiveness

Duke is forgotten as a Batkid,Robin and Batboy based off a requirement rule that's never been said in canon or even joked about by official sources and Kory and Tam are shoved out of their romantic narratives with Dick and Tim to fit the 'redheads and blondes' rule even though Dick's dated more black women than redheads and Tim's first girlfriend dyed her hair blonde because she thought that's why he liked Stephanie more and he made a twisted expression of horror as his thought box said 'I...hate it'.Luz has her blackness invalidated almost always by NONblacks only,Gus is a canon black4brown mlm in a teenage romcom-esque ship but Toh fans ignore him and Mattholomule to obsses over Hunter and Edric as they 'roast' Huntlow too when Edric might as well not exist in comparison to Willow's depth and abundance of screentime,Camila was never given a chance and branded an abusive mom or spicy latina armcandy for Eda and Darius gets jackshit despite Hunter's whole ass entire dad and having a canon backstory with Eda,Raine and Lilith as classmates

Gumlee and Bubbline have much less content than completely noncanonical white gay ships and even after we saw Elise Marceline still wasn't popularly drawn black as human despite her being confirmation for Marcie and by extention Marsh being biracial.Oscar is said to have no personality by the same people who run blogs dedicated to fucking JAUNE AND SUN and his importance to Ruby downplayed for a mean white girl who bullied her for being a younger autistic girl and Emerald is easily the most deep and prettiest antagonist but hardly anybody hardcore stans her or ships her even including Mercury

Miles has zero crossover genres and i mean GENRES a la Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons not the occasional one-off fanart and niche fic despite everything about Spiderverse being prime crossover material especially now that we have Atsv yet Danny F/P gets in on all of them including being JASON'S COUNTERPART when MILES is exactly like him while Danny's literally just ghost-themed and has nothing in common with Jason including being different flavors of deaths and ressurections and Margo is made out to be a desperate loser over Miles even though he showed even MORE more interest in HER and Hobie is passiveaggressively turned into Gwen's 'canon brother figure' despite the FIRST thing we learned about him is that they were gonna be a thing and it made it into the final project as confirmed by the creators who said the viewers can choose if they were dating or not and Jessica did nothing but be a good adoptive mom to Gwen after her cop dad kicked her out,have chemistry with Miguel,her own inner turmoil too and serve cunt and y'all either hated or ignored her for it BECAUSE she's a black woman but not a m*mmy or a minstrel show,don't even lie

And they notice NONE of this despite it happening every.fucking.time.They never prioritize or treasure black people in their lives if they even have any and they smacktalk black celebrities for the same reason they worship nonblack ones too.They make a mockery of black culture with butchered aave and whitewashed black aesthetics and calling our food disgusting and our romantic tactics inherently perverted(see the oversexualization of 'babygirl' when just means 'sweet black girl' and is meant to be comforting and can even be used platonically by older male relatives).They don't see color.They don't see us at all.They deliberately turn a blind eye to all the nonstop microagression they do towards our representation which they've NEVER limited to fictional characters-see how every black actor ever gets harrased!!!-yet act all 'woke' because they unlearned queerphobia and ableism.Yeah?Unlearn THIS propaganda too snowroaches

[humanitys-strongest-brat]

Shoelaces

Summary: After three weeks apart, Hange plans a get together with the gang.

Pairing: LevixFem!reader

CW: This one shot heavily revolves around the use of alcohol. mentions of smoking and related language. 18+ MDNI.

wc: 3.5k

a/n: First, I'd like to thank @ackerbootytobbi. She has been here to hold my hand through all the sweat and tears of writing my first Levi fic, I truly cannot express how much I appreciate the help and advice I was given. If you do like this, please send some love her way. This cute lil fic is loosely based off of this song, and the scenes were living in my head rent free for weeks prior to writing it, enjoy~

“Took you long enough.” Erwin teases as you hop into the passenger seat, He texted you fifteen minutes ago letting you know he was out front waiting for you. 

“Don't be dramatic, it was only ten minutes.” you huff, pulling the seat belt over your chest and clicking it into place. Erwin gave you a once over, his gaze halting before turning back and shifting the car into drive. 

“You did your hair for this?” he comments, raising an eyebrow. Doing your hair was a generous observation on his part, you just spent extra time on it for tonight. 

“Yeah, and what's that look for? We haven't been able to get together like this in so long, so I wanted to look a little nice.” It's been three weeks since the five of you could all hang out together. Miche got a new job and Hange had a change in shifts, making it nearly impossible to do something collectively. It just so happens that everyone has the day off tomorrow, so Hange suggested getting together to drink and catch up.

 “It's just us, you never cared like that before. Besides, if this is like any other time your hair’s gonna look like shit by the end of the night anyways. Like that time Miche set your hair on fire lighting that cig for you.” He laughs. You cringe and brush your fingers through your hair in the same area that was singed short, only just recently were you able to make it look like it blends in with the rest of your hair. “Or, that time Hange-” Erwin starts but you quickly interrupt. 

“Okay! I get it, I'm accident prone.” you mumble, giving him a playful glare. “Both of those are better than the time me and Levi had to drag you out to the car which, by the way, wasn't fun.” you smirk, watching his dumbfounded expression illuminate under each street light you pass under

 “Like that compares at all, it was one time, and my birthday” Erwin retorts and gives you a gentle nudge. You shrug in response, looking out the window to see you're already turning down the street that leads to the house that Levi, Hange, and Miche share. “We’re late again, you know how much shit we’re going to get?” 

 ***

“Finally!” Hange raves when you walk in with Erwin. You make your way in and take your bottle of contribution to the cooler that was already set up in the living room, stuffing it in and shutting the lid. Almost instantly after, you were met with a fierce hug from Hange. “Late, as always. What was the hold up? Anything interesting?” They beamed, their eyes gesturing hopefully towards Ewrin. You parted from Hange’s hug, shaking your head at their silent accusation. This wasn’t new for the two of you. For as long as you could remember, you both have been teased about your friendship. Everyone constantly begged for you two to finally get together. Erwin is your best friend, and has been for years. The thought has never crossed your mind. The only person who understands that is Levi, he's the only one who never pokes and prods for something more. 

“Thought I heard the lovebirds were finally here.” Miche announced as he emerged from his bedroom. He makes his way into the living room and grabs two beers out of the cooler and tosses one to Erwin as he walks past him. “Catch up” Miche enthusiastically demands, cracking the tab on his can and raising it up to Erwin in a faux cheers. 

“You guys really started without us?” Erwin groans followed by the sharp hiss and snap of his own can. 

“What, were we supposed to wait for the two of you to stop sucking face in the car?” Miche laughs and gestures to you and Erwin both. Erwin rolls his eyes but just as he was about to respond the whole room collectively flinched at the sudden piercing interruption of music that gradually dimmed down to an appropriate volume. All eyes fall on Levi who’s standing in front of the speaker with his phone in his hand. 

“Cleaning playlist, forgot to turn it down earlier.” He explains candidly and takes a swig from the cup in his opposite hand, seemingly unapologetic for the disturbance. 

“Jesus, Levi. When did you get out here?” Miche groans, rubbing his ear melodramatically. Levi ignores him, instead he turns to face the group. “Didn't realize this party was about celebrating Erwin sucking face. I would have stayed in my room had I known.”

 “No one’s staying in their room!” Hange chimes as they make their way to Levi “it’s been three weeks, we should do something fun!” they place their hands on Levi’s shoulders and grin “like a drinking game.” they suggest, approval spreads across the room. 

“Pass.” Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes like he was above the activity. “Looks like you're outvoted.” Hange sings, squeezing Levi’s shoulders and quickly moving to drag the coffee table away from the couch for everyone to sit around. Miche was already on his way in with the bottle and a shot glass.

“Fine. I’ll play but I'm not sharing that shot glass with any of you, I’ll get my own.” he sighs, heading straight for the kitchen. Hange cheers and grabs chasers out of the cooler, lining them around the circular table as everyone settles into their chosen spots. Levi returned shortly after with his own shot glass, you notice a clean rag hanging out of his pocket as he sits in the space left open for him. Miche chooses the game for the group, the rules are simple and easy to follow. It doesn't take long, just a few rounds in and everyone around the table seems to have a pink flush across their cheeks, slurring their words, and laughs at anything anyone says.

***

“Damn!” Hange rasps out with a cough, slamming the shot glass back down onto the table. At this point in the game Hange was doing horribly, the last 3 rounds of the game they were the one to take the losing shot. They pick up the bottle and shakily attempt to fill the glass up for the next victim. Liquid splashes around the glass as they miss a couple times. 

“Okay,” Erwin says and takes the bottle from them “I’ll fill them from now on.” He adds. “it’d be nice if someone else could start taking the shots!” Hange complained, folding their arms over their chest. 

“That’s entirely on you, Hange.” Erwin pointed out as he finished pouring for them. His hand was stable despite being just as drunk as anyone else at the table, he was always the one who handled the liquor best. 

“Stop losing and you won’t have to take any more.” You laugh and watch Levi lean forward, pick up the glass, and quickly wipe underneath with the rag he’d brought to the circle. Even tipsy he was concerned about keeping things at least a little clean. 

 The next round, Hange takes the losing shot again. “of course!” They spout, taking the bottle from Erwin’s side, forgetting that he was in charge of filling the glass after each shot. Before he could register that Hange had taken the bottle, they were attempting to fill the glass again. With shaky hands Hange tips the bottle too far, causing the rim of the bottle to clash with the shot glass, tipping it over. The jolt alone was enough to cause them to drop the bottle as well. You watch as it rolls off the table, its contents spilling out. 

“Come on, Hange.” Levi groans as he lunges forward. He fails to catch the bottle, forced to watch it spill out and seep into the rug. “Games over.” He announces, immediately going back in with the rag. Levi sets the bottle back upright on the table and Miche gathers up the remnants of their game, wiping the liquor off the cards as he organizes everything back into the box. 

You thread your fingers between Hange’s after they stand up. “Kitchen, Hange.” You sang, guiding them out of the living room. Despite their protests, you decided you both need a water break. You let go of Hange’s hand, and they lean against the counter to the right of the fridge. You grab two glasses from the overhead cabinets and pull the ice tray out of the freezer. “Sooo,” Hange coos as you as you cracked the tray, haphazardly dropping ice into both cups. 

“Yesss,” you mimic back in the same tone, opening the fridge. 

Hange pushes off the counter and leans over the open door “Erwin looks cute tonight, huh?” They try, grinning. 

“Not this again,” you laugh at them and set the first filled cup on the counter behind you. 

“Give me a break!” Hange groans, dropping their head onto their forearms. “You always avoid talking about it, when will you guys give up the act?” You look towards them and your attention is immediately drawn to Levi, who is discarding an arms worth of cans onto the counter. He kneels down in front of the sink and starts digging through the cabinets underneath. 

“It’s not like that, and it never has been.” 

“bullshit, there’s got to be a reason you haven’t just gone for it yet. We can all see how it is between you two” they pried for more. 

“And you’re all wrong” you say as you set the second cup down next to the first. 

“Then what is it? You still have that thing for Levi?” They joke. Your eyes immediately flicker back to Levi, he’s frozen, still knelt down at the sink. You swear you can feel all the color drain from your face. Hange has already started mumbling about a new topic you couldn’t focus on. 

“Hey, four eyes.” Levi stands up from his position, peeling out the trash bag he was digging for. “Keep me out of your fantasies and come help me with your mess” he says, his tone was flat, as usual. He turns away without looking at either of you and walks out of the kitchen. 

“Shit, he heard that?” Hange asks, looking back at you. It's obvious by their face how embarrassed you must look because Hange immediately starts assuring you that it’s fine. 

You walk back out to the living room with Hange, still fighting off the embarrassment from the kitchen. You watch as Hange picks up the various chasers that were still left over from the game. When you turn your attention to Levi your face burns, you wonder if that made everything weird now. “You good? You look like you could use one of these.” Erwin interrupts your thoughts, handing you a new can. You accept and pop the tab.

“You have no idea.” You confirm, taking a drink.  

“What a mess.” He comments and shakes his head, watching as Hange and Levi clean. Just as you open your mouth to reply, Miche caught your attention as he made his way across the living room, careful to walk around the chaos that Hange and Levi were cleaning. When he catches your gaze he raises a hand up, flashing a lighter and gestures towards the back door with a nod "smoke break?" 

"Count me in!" Hange yells, quickly standing and discarding the handful of cups on a nearby side table and making their way out, followed by Erwin. You tip your can back, finish the beer, and make your way to the back door. you lazily slide your shoes on not even bothering to pull the backs up over your heels, you glance behind you to see Levi gathering up the empty cups and beer cans and throwing a couple unopened cans into the cooler placed in the living room. You think for a moment about staying inside and doing damage control with him, maybe you could convince him that Hange was just being dramatic, or using it as a means to prove that they’re right about Erwin. "Come on! What're you doing?" Hange interrupts, pulling you away from the door and sliding it shut, dragging you over to the group. 

"Hange, you really couldn't have said that a worse time." You groan and squeeze your eyes shut, willing another wave of embarrassment away. At this point, you didn’t care about bringing it up in front of Erwin and Miche. You figure Hange would tell them on their own anyway. 

"Said what?" Miche mumbled around the cigarette hanging off his lips, passing the lighter to Erwin. 

"Well.." Hange drawled, a shit eating grin on their face "I may have spilled the beans on her little crush on Levi.. right in front of him." Now both Erwin and Miche were looking right at you, a few moments of silence pass before Erwin raises a brow and glances between you and Hange

"Crush?" His tone was so flat it didn't even sound like a question.

"Levi?" Miche interjected quickly, waiting for you to say you were joking. When the silence began to linger Miche let out a quick snort "like, Levi?" He asked again, his hand gesturing towards the house. "No shit, way to pull the rug from under our feet." He shakes his head in disbelief and nudges Hange with his elbow "you knew and still said your piece about Erwin this whole time? Evil." he laughed 

"Hey, I was told in confidence that she thought Levi was hot one time!" Hange spills out. It was true, months ago you hung out with Hange alone. The two of you decided to have a night in with movies and wine since no one else could join. After a couple glasses you let it slip that you had a small crush on Levi, making sure to paint it as fleeting so the two of you didn't get the same treatment as you and Erwin. "Hey," Hange places a hand on your shoulder "are you alright?"

“I’m just worried about it, I never would have told him that. You saw him in the kitchen, everything is probably going to be so awkward now.” 

"Oh stop, it's Levi!" Hange encourages and pulls you in close by your other shoulder "he doesn't care, he probably won't even mention it" they try to reason with you, but it falls on deaf ears. you were so full of doubt. How could things be normal after this? Were you just supposed to continue on while pretending it didn't happen? That's exactly what you plan to do because there was no chance you could bring it up to his face.  

"I'll be back" you mumble at Hange as you spin on your heels and make your way inside through the back door and decide the bathroom would be a more private place to pull yourself together. 

***

You admire the photos that hang unsystematically in the hallway, tracing waves on the wall with your finger as you glide through, the music slowly starts to fade the closer you get to your destination and completely muffles as you close the bathroom door. 

"uh, hi?" 

You snap your attention towards the voice, meeting a sharp but forgiving gaze. "Levi, I didn't realize you-." you start, feeling the heat in your cheeks as you stammer for the words to apologize. Levi's stare is unmoving for a moment. He looks down, swiping the cloth off the hook to dry his hands. His eyes dart back to your face. "Your shoelaces are untied." 

What..? 

You take a moment to register what he just said, double checking that you heard him correctly and glancing down to see the strings loosely hanging off each side of your shoes. "That's how I like them..." When his expression doesn’t change you curse yourself for sounding so dumb. 

"And you're walking through my house with shoes on." he states and you can feel your face burning even more. Duh, Why wouldn't you have remembered to take them off as you came in. Just as you part your lips to muster up what would probably sound like another pathetic attempt at an apology, you notice the small smirk pulling at Levi's lips "Save it. Hange's party, Hange’s mess to clean" He assured you.

You hum in response and started to turn back towards the door to leave "Was that true?" He asked, you can hear a subtle eagerness in the question "What Hange said, I mean" he corrects his tone this time. You’re completely still while a wave of embarrassment washes back over your whole body trying to think of something to say, but you're stuck speechless. Muffled music and Hange’s voice chanting at Erwin to chug from outside quickly fill in the silence. You take a deep breath, realizing that now is your chance to give context. 

“Yeah, but that was so long ago,” you stammer your words and finally turn to face him, he’s closer now. 

“Yeah? How long?” He’s smirking now, arms crossed over his chest, like this is amusing to him. 

“Months.” Was all you could say in response. 

“So what happened? You let eyebrows take my spot?” He teases. 

“You’re starting to sound an awful lot like Hange, It was never like that anyway,” you scoff, not realizing his implication of having a spot. In your attempt to explain yourself you hadn't noticed Levi closing the space between you. 

“You done?” He interrupts, glancing down at your lips then back up. Your eyes meet his and you nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Levi leans in, his fingers brush against your jaw as he reaches out resting his hand at the nape of your neck. He pulls you in gently and pauses briefly before your lips meet. You hear his breath shake before he closes the small space between the two of you. Warmth spreads across your whole body and the intoxication rushes back in. You drape your arms over his shoulders and relax into it, tilting your head to follow his lead. Levi rests his other hand on your hip, pulling you flush against his body and snaking his fingers through the hair behind your head. He guides you back up into the door, his hand acting as a cushion for your head as he moves his lips against yours. Your breath hitches at the gentle impact against the door, you pull your arms back in to cup his face just as he parts from you. He rests his forehead against yours, his breaths coming out in soft pants. Your eyes meet again and just as he parts his lips to say something you hear the back door slide open and shut. Levi quickly pulls back from you, a quiet ‘shit’ falling from his lips. You realize how long you have been missing from the group. Grabbing the door handle you turn back to Levi, he responds with a gestured nod toward the door. A silent agreement that you leave first. You twist the handle and exit the bathroom quickly, closing the door behind you. As you step away from the door Erwin turns down the hall and stops at the sight of you. 

"There you are.” he starts, sounding relieved. “We got worried when you didn't come back and," he stops speaking when you hear the bathroom door click shut behind you. You watch as Erwin's eyes flicker back and forth. You press your eyes shut as Levi slips quietly past you. When the back door slides shut signaling that Levi is outside, you open your eyes. Something is different about Erwin’s posture; he seems stiff and his expression indecipherable. "Oh, looks like that worked out for you then?" He questions, referencing Hange’s slip of the tongue earlier and offering a wistful smile.

"Yeah, I guess it did." You agree, biting back a grin. 

***

The night died down fast. Miche made sure Hange had more water and got into their bed without issue then retreated to his own room. Erwin has the couch, and you have the recliner, your usual arrangement for nights spent over. The music was silenced, the only light now coming from a single lamp on the side table keeping the room just lit enough for Levi. He paces between the living room and kitchen, picking up the last of the mess left behind from the night. Erwin hasn’t said much since coming back inside. You assume he's not feeling well and decide to leave him alone for the night, you could fill him in tomorrow. You spend your wind down time curled up on the chair, your eyes flicking between your phone and Levi as he moves around the room. "You always had a staring problem, now I know why." he teases.

 "Shut up" you roll your eyes at him, setting your phone down as he walks back towards you. 

"Let's go." He says as he yanks the blanket you were using off of you, tucking it under his arm. 

"Where?" You ask.

"My room, dumbass."

Taglist: @ackerbootytobbi @amywritesthings

[sieglinde-freud]

grabs ur hands dm ur reasoning rn *looks at you with my big eyes*

YOU GUYS ARE PEER PRESSURING ME WTF... but ok im just gonna post it here then hi tc thank u for the ask :) going under the read more because my initial ramblings were literally 3k but let me see if i can chop it down. cw: LONG. also pic for reference so we know what im talking about

so the placements all assume the only headcanon thats real going into this is that the morgans are siblings. no canon second parents which means no chrom!inigo or anything like that they all have single moms or whatever idk not important but just clarifying none of that is impacting their placements because i dont want to think about that

black eagle placements were the most fun because the fun thing about that route is that it splits into two more! one thing thats always bothered me is that when that route splits, the only thing that changes is that you either lose edelgard or hubert or you lose flayn. are you really telling me those are the only three students with enough free will to not let byleth pick the rest of their life for them? ferdinand would NOT go to the church i dont care!!! this is something they fixed (kind of) in warriors but in general when picking the black eagles i wanted to keep that in mind too

so kjelle was the first character i looked at and went “i know where you go.” i think she looks at edelgard and goes “you are everything i want to be and more” because what edelgard fights for and how she accomplishes it. kjelle is a very “the strong must protect the weak by any means necessary” which is kind of harsh when its presented to the player in awakening but it is literally edelgard’s whole philosophy. and kjelle is very egotistical (not hate i love her ass so much underrated fav!!) she thinks incredibly highly of herself so for her to bow down to anyone they would have to 1) echo her ideals and 2) be stronger than her. sorry shes never bending the knee to dimitri and claude i dont give a fuck she doesnt like those men. i think she’d understand edelgard’s idea of putting power in human hands and fully commit to the ends justify the means. this isnt really a gameplay rewrite thing im trying to do but if byleth picked the church she would leave. also… please. please please consider edelkjelle… okay guys… for me……..

on the opposite side nah was my second immediate “ohh i know what im doing with you” and its because if byleth picks edelgard, shes out!! granted, i could just put her with lions or deer but how is that fun. its not. nah, being a manakete, would probably be much more understanding of rhea and willing to reach out. being a manakete is probably a pretty isolating experience for her, ylisse or fodlan or otherwise, so i think her finding solace with rhea and flayn and seteth during her time at the academy would allow her to get closer to people more like her, and understand on some level why rhea is the way she is and why governs the way she does. though, still being housemates, she’d befriend edelgard and i think she’d admire edelgard’s conviction and maturity during the academy arc. but when edelgard betrays the church i think she’d take that very hard, and i dont think anything edelgard would say to her would get her to turn on what is basically the family she never got to have (theres also second gen angst potential in here somewhere…)

inigo was interesting to think about and i did almost saddle him in with golden deer but i like the potential of him with edelgard a lot more when i really sat down and thought about it. im pulling more from his characterization as laslow i think but at first i wasn’t really sure if i had a case for him picking between the empire and the church but i decided to go with the empire because i do think in the time he has with edelgard, he’d be a voice of reason for her (to hubert’s dismay). edelgard’s problem is that she has literally no outsider pov and is going based on her own sense of justice that, while its based in good intentions, has a lot of unintended consequences and failure to acknowledge how it impacts everyone else. i think inigo could take a unique role, similar to ferdinand (or lorenz to claude, felix to dimitri) in that he challenges edelgard but on a much more friendlier level. the thing about how that role normally plays out is that its formed on some personal grievance rather than genuine better interest of the people, and i think of all the lords, edelgard needs a friend the most (its why shes so attached to byleth???). and just looking at how hes able to handle xander in fates and how much more introspective he becomes, i think it’d play out similarly here. also i think with the forces of him and dorothea combined they would give ferdinand the worst bisexual panic of his life. ik i mentioned felix/inigo WHICH I STILL LIKE but imagine the layer of angst if they are on opposing sides… ok thanks

was on the fence about gerome until beloved mutual (hi woocy :3) convinced me he would be beagle and im completely down with that. for me, i struck out blue lions immediately. so after that its just a matter of do i think he fits in better with BE or GD and quite honestly. for some reason golden deer gets the rep of being the meme house but aside from lorenz looking a little funny anf claude putting up a facade YOU ALL FELL FOR this straight up is not true. the funny house is black eagles and by GOD it would piss gerome off to be there. i dont think they chose their houses, by the way. i think they got to fodlan and rhea vibe checked all of them immediately so he didnt have a say in this. not only is he stuck with inigo, hes stuck with watching kjelle—the strongest warrior ever probably the only one in the second to match him in terms of raw strength—stumble over herself over their house leader because wwaauuw women pretty LIKE COME ONNNN. though, i do think he’d respect edelgard for her strength, and theres a lot of interesting dynamics for him to explore. dorothea pissing him off, bonding with petra over their enjoyment for wildlife, he would definitely be training partners with caspar, and i think he’d actually be like. really good at talking to bernadetta? maybe seeing her reminds him of how he was when he was younger. maybe he gets her out by introducing her to minerva. much to think about. but in general he would keep mostly to himself with standard gerome “cant get close to people that i cant guarantee will stay with me” fashion i think he probably wouldnt be as close as say someone like inigo or nah would be with the house. so when the time to choose a side comes… i dont think he’d have the relationship with edelgard to pick her. i think he would oppose her ideals, and go with nah, if not flee fodlan entirely because omfg who careeesss…. WHO CAREEESS his ass is in wyvern valley (no i think he’d fight. but he’d def consider dipping)

m!morgan is here because i think it would challenge him. guy who is so cute so earnest so ready to be happy in school learning everything hes ever wanted hoping to come home and make momma proud and oh my god he got put in the most crazy house imaginable. whoever his professor is is probably like wow morgan you have a gift for tactics! why dont you try managing the class for a mission? and being morgan he’d go YES ABSOLUTELY!!! unfortunately this house has hubert. and ferdinand. and bernadetta. and linhardt. and caspar. the thing about robin and the shepherds is that most people immediately respected robin as their tactician and robin was able to connect and befriend most of them fairly easily because they were mostly all sane and normal people. the black eagles are most definitely not and have you guys seen that black eagles seating chart post? well. i just think it’d give morgan a hard time and between him and f!morgan its funnier if its him. also splitting him from the justice cabal for timeskip angst sorry. also i think it’d be cool if he took edelgards side. i dont actually know which way he’d lean thats a tossup like this is a character that i could believe would trust byleth’s judgement and go with them but if its edelgard i think that could set up fun conflict between him and nah. grima vs naga part 2!! though i actually did have him for blue lions first if only because of the three houses the blue lions probably need a tactician type the best but. i like this one better.

so for blue lions i immediately clocked owain like look at this guy. i think owain would see the house of cool knightly chivalrous types fighting for justice and being cool and having swords and i just think he’d be in heaven. i also think, to him, dimitri would be a figure to look up to similar to lucina, but with the difference that they are not family and owain might put him on an even higher pedestal because theres this sense of familiarity he had with lucina thats not really there anymore? kind of similar to ashe and dimitri. and when the timeskip comes, i think he’d be endlessly devoted to dimitri even still, never forgetting who he was before and striving to bring him back, still thinking of this idolized version of him, even if it puts himself at risk. i also think in general, owain would thrive in the blue lions house. felix, ashe, ingrid, dedue, annette— those are all prime support partners for him that have a lot of potential. the blue lion house is very… the way that they are. and something owain shows in fates is that though hes very good at using his theatrics to ease people, whether that be on purpose or otherwise, and by god do the blue lions need it. look at them… jesus.

cynthia is in the blue lion house for similar reasons but i think she has a key difference from owain. while i think owain is the type to go down with the ship, i think cynthia might actually serve as an opposition to dimitri and potentially go against him in a similar fashion to felix and annette in thats hidden in the games files and was never put in the game (WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. dimitri doesnt get enough push back in azure moon!! another post for another time though). in their time at the academy, while owain is fangirling over dimitri, i think cynthia would too at first. but fodlan is very different than ylisse, and in particular faerghus treats its knights and specifically women knights very differently than cynthia wouldve otherwise been treated. i think this would push cynthia into questioning faerghus’s ideals (especially in getting close to ingrid who im sure she’d find friendship in) and eventually dimitri in how he seemingly upholds those ideals. when he goes down a darker path in the timeskip, she’d probably take felix’s more critical approach, and i think she could turn on him. for the empire? probably not. but i dont think she’d be as down as owain or ingrid to keep following him when hes not taking accountability for what hes doing. she might find her way back once hes come back to himself but who really knows. not me (<- girl who is writing all of this)

yarnes a funny pick because lions are supposed to be brave and fearless and hes a Rabbit. but obviously yarne would be very aware of that irony and i think it could serve as a push for him to come into that bravery, and thats something i think the lion house could help him do. i think he’d look to dimitri for solace similar to how he does with lucina, and dimitri would be very happy to provide that for him. when the timeskip comes and dimitri is lost, i think yarne would have to find it in himself to abandon that anxiety for a bit to come help ease dimitri, sort of repaying him for his initial kindness (read: i want eyepatch scary dimitri to find stress relief in petting a big ass bunny). also i dont need yarne to be in the same house as petra and marianne for him to interact with them. dont worry thats a thing. also if youre a real one you recruit marianne to blue lions everytime. no i dont know how they’d handle bringing a taguel to fodlan i dont really care either

for severa i think, even if she would rather not admit it, justice and loyalty are very key parts of her character. its buried underneath her mean girl attitude and like five pounds of trauma but its there. and what are the blue lions if not loyal knights with very LOUD auras of sadness? she would be similar to felix in terms of their views on knighthood, and obviously her whole thing with cordelia would put her at odds with the whole dying for your king/for glory thing faerghus has going on. similar to cynthia she’d be very critical of faerghus and dimitri except she’d be that way to his face. she doesnt have the same personal beef with him the same way felix would, and might be a little more like how i imagined inigo would be to edelgard, criticism with the better interest of the greater good rather than formed of personal beef. in the end though, i think she would stick with dimitri. also i think she’d have insane sexual tension with ingrid like i dont think theyd like eachother but like. my vision… do you see it.

bradys in lions partially due to mutual influence (hi zorua) but also because i ended up liking his potential with the lions as opposed to the deer or eagles. he’d have a very cute friendship with mercedes and annette i think, playing violin for them and having tea party gossip sessions. i think he and dedue could bond over being kinda scary but doing what they can to ease people’s fear of them. since thats an insecurity for both of them that brady purposefully takes steps to get rid of (ex: him hunching over is so that he can be eye level with children and people shorter with them so as not to come off as intimidating or more powerful) i think brady could help with that. though if im being so real i dont think he would like dimitri. i think he would stay and stick around and help dimitri get better. but i dont think he’d approve of his bloodlust and be very open with his issues in regards to how dimitri handles and carries himself. sorry guys im not meaning to have dimitri catch so many strays here 😭 i love the guy i just also like when theres conflict here i promise

laurent is in the golden deer because i think he and claude would be very like minded people in terms of trying to discover the secrets behind fodlan and what that means and how to better navigate fodlan as uncharted territory. theyre both foreigners, as are all of the second gen kids, but thats something claude keeps under wraps that i think laurent would be able to tell very quickly (not that it was hard. claude doesnt hide it well its just that everyone in fodlan is either stupid or all the smart people are kept away from him) that claude is from almyra. i think this knowledge could help him serve as something of a confidant to claude. obviously he wouldnt tell laurent everything but when claudes supposed closest allies are lorenz (guy who hates him and prays for his downfall) and hilda (girl who is racist and from a racist family) its just like. well maybe claude should have another friend who is normal adjacent at least, and laurents not the type to go blabbing anyways. obviously both lorenz and hilda (eh. well.) get better about their mindsets post timeskip but i think in the time of the academy laurent would be a very valuable friend for claude and vice versa. in general laurent would do well anywhere because i think most of his interest would be with the technological and scientific advancements of fodlan which is flexible, but i think, with rhea purposefully halting progress and claude being the main guy who wants truth above all else, this is the best spot for him. could hear an argument for him going to edelgard (potential recruit out of house recruit fs) but i do like him with claude a bit more. gerolau angst also.

lucina is in golden deer because i dont want her in the other two houses but also because i do think, similar to laurent, she’d be very valuable to claude and vice versa. awakening world building is horseshit but from what little we do know there is quite a bit of political discourse that lucina probably knows quite a bit about. even if her timeline was thrown into war when she was young, she probably had some form of royal training and can help claude navigate fodlan a little bit. i also think coming to fodlan would just be a very refreshing experience for lucina as the burden of everything is no longer directly on her shoulders, and i think she’d be looking for a broader perspective on life and finding another purpose for herself now that grima is dealt with. i think claude would be able to help her with that and i think she’d be genuinely interested to learn of his homeland once she figures out where hes from (i do think laurent beats her to the conclusion but not by a lot. remember this is lucina aka marth aka woman her disguised her own royal status and was very successful at it. just saying). also while i did say that golden deer is in fact not the meme house, i think they are more light hearted overall in terms of character (does NOT mean meme house or funny house. look me right in my eyes and say the house WITHOUT hubert and linhardt is the meme house. fucking liar) and i think lucina would love that. i want her to get the chance to be silly and childish for a little bit. characters like raphael and marianne and lysithea might help her heal that inner child that she never really got to let out and i just think the golden deer house would be the best place for her

morgan is here because i didnt want her and marc in the same house thats too easy. but while i think claude is the least in need of a tactician type character, him and morgan would be sooooo funny so cute and i need someone who can keep him on his toes. i think he blurts out a plan and morgan goes “ermmm ackchully” and half of the time her rebuttals are complete nonsense she just wants to argue. i think they both enjoy it. i also think, similar to lucina, a light hearted house would be a little better for her. shes much more prone to mischief than m!morgan is i think and i think the deer would benefit from that if only so she can target lorenz and make me laugh. i also think separating the twins would make for fantastic angst down in the timeskip but for now shes just hanging out having fun being a piece of shit. #girl also i think its funnier if one morgan is absolutely thriving and the other is barely keeping his shit together and by god it is way funnier if its f!morgan getting away with everything

noire is here because. i. could not think of a reason for her to go anywhere else! i thought about putting her in beagles but i dont think making that choice between the church and edelgard would be as interesting for her? and i dont think putting her in lions would do anything for her. i think the best lord and the best house at helping her through her issues and being understanding of her mood changes is probably claude and the deer. i could see hilda and leonie reaching out to her, or ignatz and her getting on pretty well, but im not quite sure on the specifics of that. my least thought out placement but also it doesnt matter because it keeps the placements balanced to put her here. i’ll have to give this one more thought…

anyways if you can believe it this is the cutdown version. i know right. i hope i didnt forget anyone that would be really embarrassing

[starbuck]

the thing is, it’s always a triangle. it’s never not a triangle. i cannot just write about two characters. where’s the third character? i need them..

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Feeling Fruity

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sysig]

Still normal don’t even worry about it (Patreon)

[thefearhas]

get to know me tag game

Saw this and now I'm doing it, thank you @loserlesbianongsa!

RULES: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

Blonde hair // I prefer loose(ish) clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with (a) friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // My parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

Tagging @hoppipolla and @zerberosa and anyone who sees this and wants to do it :), no pressure though!

[kxllerblond]

reading book? too much effort. sitting down and writing replies?? can't focus.

youtube rabbit hole of in-depth Barbie history and architectural design of dream houses and playsets? i got all da focus in da world baybeee!

[helianthologies]

ok ive decided im actually not gonna rewatch any fantasy high stuff or finish the seven bc it feels like homework and i dont wanna. im just gonna wait for junior year and hopefully that will reignite my interest in d20 and THEN when its done i will re/watch all that other stuff IF I FEEL LIKE IT

[cc-cuttlefishculler]

surprise im not a void player if you looked for my soul like my essence of my me there would be nothing there

[strang3lov3]

Bite Me

You learn two things on a particularly boring patrol shift - Joel loves to bite and you love to be bitten (5.3k)

Tags - 18+, smut, bite kink, lots and lots of biting, spitting, joel eats you out from behind because he's just in that kind of mood, brief ass eating, anything one can do with their mouth joel does to you, unprotected piv, creampie, not? gentle? sex, little dubcon bc joel is a maniac, little bit of blood, one (1) dad joke, skin tone is not described but bites and bruises in reader's skin are mentioned. Fic help - @noxturnalpascal for editing and @endlessthxxghts and @beefrobeefcal for encouraging this!! i love you all! A/N - thanks for your patience! I’m working on bigger things that are out of my comfort zone so enjoy this snack sized fic until dinner’s ready. I wrote this with my heart but most importantly my pussy, I hope that translates.

You and Joel are on patrol together at your usual post, an old two story house about an hour’s ride outside of Jackson. It’s early July, which usually means there’s more activity to keep an eye on as the summer warms; raiders, infected, strangers and the like. But not lately - there haven’t been any major threats, nothing to make your patrol shifts daunting like they usually are. It’s just been quiet and peaceful.

Boring.

So. Fucking Boring.

You’ve picked through everything in this house several times over and never found much. There’s no food or tools or anything useful, but there’s not even anything particularly interesting either. No paintings on the walls, no photo albums of old families to flip through as you like to do. There’s no books in the house either, apart from a few damaged by water and with torn pages, rendering them unreadable. 

Joel used to get on your case about this, gruffly telling you to ‘Quit fuckin’ around’ and ‘Should be payin’ attention to your surroundings, not snoopin’ through shit that ain’t there’. But eventually, he got bored too. The surroundings never change, not much to really pay attention to, even for Joel. 

There was one time Joel didn’t yell at you as you wandered off, and when you came back upstairs you found him sitting on a couch in the room with a big window, hunched over a coffee table, picking up and laying down playing cards. Solitaire. 

You leaned over the back of the couch and tapped him on the shoulder, “Aren’t we supposed to be keeping watch?” you asked, teasing.

Joel turned over his shoulder and glanced at you, then turned back to his cards and continued playing. “Smartass,” he mumbled. “You gonna rat on me?”

 “No. As long as you know you’re a hypocrite,”  you replied before rounding the side of the old couch and sitting next to him. You watched him as he flipped through the deck a couple times over, then he sighed in defeat. “Did you lose?”

“Yup,” he answered, gathering the cards and shuffling them a couple of times. “You’re losin’ next, though. You’re gonna play with me.”

“I don’t know any card games.”

Joel looked at you incredulously, “Bullshit,”  he said. A deck of cards was one of the most valuable things one could own post-apocalypse. Endless games for solo play and small groups of people alike. Not much else to do to pass the time, but then again, people stay busy in Jackson.

“Oh wait - yeah, I do know one. I know Go Fish. Do you wanna play that one?”

“Pass,” he answered. “I’d rather play nothin’ at all if that’s our only game. You know Crazy 8’s, don’t you? Gin Rummy?” 

“Nope.”

“I’m gonna rectify that, then. C’mere.”

Joel taught you three games that night. The first being War, because it’s easy and luck based - something for you to dip your toes into. The next was Crazy 8’s and then finally, Gin Rummy. 

You weren’t lying when you told Joel you didn’t know any card games, but only because you could never learn. You didn’t like the pressure of learning in groups, didn’t like the vague instructions being shouted at you. Euchre was particularly awful to learn, you were holding back tears trying to get through that game. But Joel taught you differently, he was gentle and patient and calm with an open hand of cards. He’d play fairly and wouldn’t take advantage of your inexperience. His patience paid off - after some time, he had a consistent opponent for card games and your patrols together became a lot less boring. Now Joel never has to play another lonely game of solitaire again. You play with him just about every shift now, when it’s quiet and there’s nothing going on. Your favorite games to play are Crazy 8’s and War, not much strategy involved in those but Joel enjoys them anyway. 

After taking your usual spots together on the couch, Joel reaches into a pocket of his backpack, the one on the inside that fits his deck of cards like a glove. “Fuck,” he whispers under his breath. 

“What’s the matter?”

“No cards,” he murmurs, feeling around through his items and coming up empty. “Must’ve left ‘em at Tommy’s.” Tommy and Maria recently hosted a game night and invited a couple of people, Joel being one of them. And then Joel brought you along to be his partner in group games. Playing with him one on one made you feel special, but you liked that he took you along as his date of-sorts. He shot you secret little winks from across the table before clearing his throat and furrowing his eyebrows as he examined his hand. 

“Oh,” you say. “So I guess we’re actually patrolling tonight, then.”

“‘Bout time,” Joel replies with a soft chuckle. “Maybe somethin’ of interest will happen, finally.”

“Oh god, don’t say that. I really hope not.”

“Yeah,” Joel agrees, “Me neither.”

It’s nice to watch the sunset through the big window, very relaxing and beautiful. As the light disappears, the color in the room begins to fade and looks like television in black and white. Joel looks like one of those old-timey movie stars, he has the face for it. He stares out the window and twists the end of his mustache and you think that could play the criminally handsome villain. All dark and mysterious, with his sharp nose and inky eyes. 

“Whatcha’ lookin’ at?”

Oops. Busted. “Nothing,” you lie. You don’t catch Joel’s smirk as you excuse yourself to go look through the house for the millionth time. Maybe there’s something to do around here that you’ve not seen before. Or a book, you’ll read anything - an instruction manual to a vacuum cleaner or a Cuisinart food processor even. Anything. 

But there’s nothing new, nothing’s changed. Your fingerprints on cabinets and drawers from months and months before still sit in the dust. This place is fair and squarely empty. You sigh deeply before you return to Joel upstairs. “I’m bored,” you whine in his direction.

“Hi bored, I’m Joel.”

You could make waves with the power of your eye roll. “Are you sure you don’t have your cards?”

Joel rifles through his belongings once more and sighs. “Nope. Definitely at Tommy’s. God bless it.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him. “We’ll live.”

You don’t know that you will live, though. Death by boredom feels more likely. The minutes pass, but they feel like hours in the deafening silence. Joel makes no effort at conversation, which is very true to himself. He’s not much of a talker anyway, but leave it to Joel to sit in silence when even light smalltalk would make a world of difference in making this a less boring night. 

Some minutes pass and you’re starting to get fidgety. You crack the knuckles in your hand, one by one by one which garners a look from Joel. “What?”

“Nothin’,” he murmurs. 

You pick at your nails next, trying to even out some jagged and split edges. Joel looks at you again, glaring as you pick and pick. He fucking hates that sound. His chemistry teacher in high school used to pick at her fingernails during tests and it always made this awful, high pitched click, which was especially grating in the silence. The noise drives him crazy, like nails on a chalkboard. “I’d appreciate it if you’d quit pickin’ at your nails, hon, that noise makes my teeth hurt.”

“What do you mean, ‘makes your teeth hurt’?” you ask, still picking at your nails. You’ve almost got that one hangnail.

“Gives me the heebie jeebies, I don’t know–” Click. You got the nail. Joel shivers while gritting his teeth and groaning. “Knock it off,” he hisses.  

“Okay, sorry,” you say. “I’m done.”

“Thank you.”

Peace and quiet once more. Joel’s bored too, but he doesn’t mind the insipidity of the evening as much as you do. He likes having the time to reflect, to slow down and collect his thoughts. He’s thinking about his day off tomorrow, what he’s gonna do. Probably harvest some vegetables from his garden, do a load of laundry and–

Click.

“What’d I just ask?”

You freeze where you’re at, the nail of one of your thumbs picking at the other, you’re caught red handed. “Shit. Sorry, Joel.” 

“Uh-huh. Sit on your hands,” he commands. 

“What?”

“You heard me. Sit on ‘em.” You roll your eyes as you wedge both of your hands under your thighs just like Joel asked and he nods in approval. “There. F’you can sit still for twenty minutes, you can have your hand privileges back.”

“You can’t take away my hand privileges, Joel. They’re hands. They’re attached to me.”

“I can, indeed. If ya do it again, you’re losin’ a finger.”

A baseless threat, but you know Joel means business so you do your best to sit still. Surely he doesn’t actually expect you to not move at all. You’re allowed to adjust, move yourself into a more comfortable position so you do, and then you feel the corner of your nail get stuck on a thread of your jeans. You pull your hand from under yourself to examine it, feel the irregularity. You’re trying to ignore it but you just can’t. 

Pick pick pick.

Joel turns to your direction and in a swift movement, grabs both of your hands in his and squeezes, shaking you gently. “Enough,” he fumes, frustration in his voice. He loosens his grip slightly and you pull your hands away before you really do lose a finger, you fear that his threat did in fact hold water. “Hey,” Joel says, his voice softened. “That’s somethin’ we could do.”

“What’s something we can do?”

“Slap jack,” he answers plainly, nodding his head like he’s waiting for you to tell him you understand. You don’t. 

“What’s slap jack?” 

“You don’t know slap jack?” he asks. You shake your head, no. “You don’t know much, do you?”

“Hey,” you complain. Rude. 

“Relax, I’m teasin’,” he says, “You know you’re a smartass. Now give me your hands.” Cautiously, you extend your hands towards Joel and he takes them gently in his own, “Flatten ‘em,” he says, “Like this.” maneuvering your hands into place so that your palms are facing the ground. He places his hands underneath yours, his palms facing the ceiling. “Ready?”

“I guess?”

Bam. Joel flips his hands on top of yours and slaps the back of your hands. “Joel!” you shriek. “That hurt.” 

“Well don’t let me hit you, then,” he smirks. “That’s the game. You gotta move your hands before I getcha.”

You giggle. And Joel really didn’t hit you hard, you were just startled. The prospect of the game excites you. “Again,” you say. 

You lay your hands out flat, Joel holds his underneath yours. He uses his fingers to tease your palms, tapping and tracing along your skin. Smack. Back in the same position once more, with your hands on top of Joel’s. He doesn’t tease this time, just smacks you again. A third time you lay your palms on his, and he teases again - fingers creeping on your skin, tickling and thrilling you. With every minor movement of Joel’s hands, you pull your hands back. “You’re flinchin’ an awful lot,” he teases. “S’usually against the rules, but I’m bein’ nice.”

“You’re gonna hit me!” 

Joel shakes his head. “I’m not gonna hit you, sweetheart. Why would I do that?” Smack. You gasp and rub the backs of your hands, smiling at Joel with an open mouth. He beat you again. “You’re terrible at this,” he says.

“It’s my turn,” you decide, laying your hands out with your palms facing up. Joel places his hands on top of yours just like how the game goes. You flip your hands to slap his and hit nothing but air. He’s too quick. Settling back into place, you try again and Joel pulls away too quickly for you to slap him. It’s the same thing over and over again until you decide you're done playing. Offense and defense, you never win, only lose.

“You’re a sore loser, you know that? Card games too, you do not like to lose, do you?”

“I don’t - you’re just–”

“Just what?”

You’re not answering that. You know what the answer is, that he’s too good at these games and you’re not but you don’t need to tell him that, inflate his ego even more. “I wanna pick a game.”

“Be my guest. One that you can win, right?” You couldn’t slap Joel’s hands but you’re sure you could slap that stupid shit-eating grin off right off of his face right now. You just take Joel’s left hand and offer him yours. “What game’s this?”

You’re retaliating. He didn’t hit you hard at any point, but you’re gonna get him back. There’s not really a name for this game, it’s just something you used to  play when you were a teenager. It’s on par with those other stupid teenager games, truth or dare and spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven.

“I don’t know,” you answer. “It’s the biting game.”

“Biting?” Joel looks at you incredulously.

“Yeah, biting. I bite your hand, you bite mine. See who can take it.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very nice game,” Joel says.

“Well it’s fitting then, because you’re not a very nice man.”

Joel smirks,  “No, ‘spose I’m not.”

“So, do you wanna play?”

You don’t even let him answer before bringing his hand to your mouth,  fitting your teeth over the fleshy part of it - right in between his thumb and forefinger, where his unique bullseye tattoo sits. Joel follows suit, placing his teeth over your hand and letting them rest there. You feel the heat from his mouth, the softness of his lips. His teeth are blunt, threatening to sink into you and tickling your skin as he waits for the game to begin. “Ready?” you ask, your voice muffled by his hand. Joel nods, his big brown eyes sparkling in the low light. “Okay.” 

 You bite Joel, holding his gaze. His skin is salty and warm. Joel bites with you and you’re both rather tentative at first, biting the other gently. You take the initiative to bite him harder, “Mm,” he mumbles, surprised by the pain yet won’t go further.  

“That's all you got?”

Joel raises his eyebrows at your challenge. He squeezes his eyes shut as he bites down, hard. In turn, you squeal and pull back, and Joel releases your hand in an instant. You shake your hand and rub the mark he left, laughing. “Motherfucker,” you gasp.

Joel turns on a lantern on the coffee table and takes your hand back to inspect it. “You okay?” he asks, tracing the marks in your skin. “You don’t have much of a pain tolerance.”

“It’s a sensitive spot,” you reply. 

He makes an amused sort of expression at that, still rubbing your hand as he nods in response. The closeness in proximity, the peculiar intimacy of the game you and Joel have just played - it feels like something in the atmosphere changes, charged, the way the air feels before a storm. 

Joel breaks the silence, “Bet you’re sensitive like that everywhere,” he whispers. “Should grow some thicker skin.”

“Joel–”

He takes your hand again, this time skipping that fleshy spot on your palm and instead bringing your wrist to his mouth. His mustache is prickly on your skin. Joel bites your wrist, and you can’t help but let out a little gasp, even though he’s gentle just like before. He increases pressure until you’re yelping again, but this time he doesn’t let you go. He watches you squirm, catching your lip in your own teeth as you writhe in pain. You exhale in relief when he loosens his bite, then shiver as he drags his teeth along your forearm and bites you there next, then moves up to your bicep. Each bite is harder than the last, including when he pulls the collar of your top away and bites your neck. The skin is tender and thin and it hurts, really fucking hurts as you whine in pain. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes,” you gasp. 

Joel soothes the bite mark with his tongue which startles you perhaps more than his teeth did. “You can take it,” he whispers against your skin before searching for another part of your neck to bite. He takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilts it to the side, allowing himself access to you. You feel him open his mouth and bite down, but this time it feels good. Joel notices your reaction, feeling the vibration of your moan with his mouth against your neck. “You liked that,” he says, it’s not a question. 

You’re at a loss for words. Breathing heavily, you pant, “Fu - Joel…”

“It’s okay. You can admit it.” Joel likes it too - all that flesh between his teeth. The marks of his teeth he leaves in your skin, the bruising that surrounds them - it’s his artwork, unable to be replicated. Nobody else has his teeth and nobody else has your skin. He’s not broken skin yet but he imagines the faint taste of your blood on his tongue, tangy and metallic mixed with the sweetness of your skin. Fuck, he could eat you whole. Make you hurt, oh, he’ll make you fucking hurt. He softly bites your earlobe next, “Feels good to hurt sometimes,” he purrs in your ear. The heat of his breath sends a shiver down your spine. “So I’m gonna keep bitin’, then. And you’re not gonna quit on me like last time. Are you?”

Despite the pain, the way it sort of intimidates you, you find yourself complying, nodding. You feel his mustache before his lips, his lips before his teeth, and finally his tongue, hot and wet. It’s unlike anything you’ve experienced - salacious and erotic, frightening and tormenting, all at the same time.  You feel Joel everywhere, in places he’s not even bitten or kissed or touched yet. God, you hope he touches you there.  

Joel pushes your shirt up your body, his fingers brushing over you as he reaches behind you to unclip your bra. He pushes the straps off your shoulders, you watch as the undergarment falls into your lap. Joel taps your jaw twice, “Tilt your head back for me,” he instructs. He nips at your neck and collarbones before gently pushing you down on the couch, pulling your pants and underwear down in one movement before situating himself between your legs. You’re laid out for him, bare. His canvas to paint as he pleases. With darkened eyes, Joel pores over your body - he’ll hurt you here, pleasure you there, tease you somewhere else - the horizon is endless. 

He begins with kisses down the column of your throat, cascading down your sternum. He moves over to one of your breasts and you know it’s coming, but it startles you anyway. He bites hard on such a sensitive part of you, “Shhh,” he coos, quieting you. With a strong, masculine hand on your other breast, he finds your nipple and flicks it, drags his thumb over it until it pebbles beneath his touch, effectively soothing your cries of pain and turning them into noises of pleasure. 

“Joel,” you whine. “Fuck, Joel.”

“You’re doin’ good,” he tells you. “Doin’ just fine.”

You gasp when you feel his teeth around your hardened nipple, threatening to clamp down. He bites you gently, oh so gently, just enough to secure the bud in place for him to roll between his teeth. He brings his tongue into play then, swiping it over your nipple and circling it. After repeating the action with your other breast, his head travels lower, lower. Biting at whatever he pleases, kissing when he feels like it. He bites your hips - a sharp pain, and then your thighs - dull. 

You can’t help yourself as your fingers find your sex, already so wet. You circle your clit a couple of times before Joel pulls your hand away, biting and sucking your arousal off your fingers. He replaces your fingers with his own, pushing two of his thick fingers inside you as he bites and nips at your thighs, sucking at your skin as well. His teeth, his fingers, all where you need Joel the very most - it all feels so good, so intense, you don’t quite know where pain ends and pleasure begins as he works his fingers inside you.You don’t know if he’ll bite you hard or soft, a small bite or a big mouthful of your flesh and you can only imagine the marks he’s made on your skin. He alternates between biting, sucking, kissing, licking you, using his tongue and lips and teeth to drive you wild, have you writhing and melting under him.

 Joel pulls his fingers from your core and brings them to your mouth, pushing them past your lips. “Suck,” he says, and you do, tasting the tanginess of your own arousal on your tongue. Joel takes your hips in his strong hands and flips you over on your stomach, then sits back on his knees. You hear the quiet rustling of his clothes, that discernable sound of his zipper being undone before his clothes are tossed on the ground. He bends one of your legs and leans over you to kiss and nip at your ankle, then the other, biting up your calves. He traces his tongue over the backs of your knees before he bites you gingerly, the action has you gasping and moaning. Joel chuckles against your skin. “Knew you were sensitive,” he murmurs. He kisses his way up your thighs, kisses your ass cheeks and bites where they meet your thigh. “Up, lift up, sweetheart,” he speaks softly, urging you to lift your hips. He finds his pile of clothes and bunches them beneath your hips, propping you up for him. 

Joel parts your lips with his thumbs, spreading your sick folds for easier access. You feel his hot breath on your heat and you’re nervous, anticipating that blunt feeling of his teeth on your most sensitive place, but it never comes. Instead, his nose - aquiline and perfect, tracing up your clit, your flesh until he finds your hole, his nose buried in your most private place. He spreads your cheeks and spits between them, the saliva drips down, down. He traces you with his tongue, circling clockwise, then counter. “Fuck,” you whimper, pushing your hips back into his face as your nerves tingle. He kisses the sensitive area before traveling lower, his lips finally meeting you where you need them most. “Oh god,” you whine. 

Joel dips his tongue into you, humming in pleasure as he does - he fucking loves it, the heat of your cunt and your sweet arousal soaking his face, and he knows that hours later he’ll still be able to smell you. He pumps his tongue in and out, delving into you. He drags the muscle through your folds, all wet and sticky with your slick before he finds your clit to lick and suck at that sensitive part of you. 

He eats you voraciously like he loves it, passionate and determined as he savors you. The way Joel’s lips wrap around your clit, his nose in the space he just fucked, on his knees - this is what he’s meant for, what you’re meant for too. It’s obsession. He’s all fingertips bruising into your skin under his crushing hold, his tongue a relentless assault on your sex. You feel his salt and peppery scruff scratching your inner thighs and rubbing you raw. In the coming days you'll still feel him, skin burning as the hot water of your shower runs down your legs. You love it now, and you’ll love it then. 

You’re moaning, babbling Joel’s name, begging him but you don’t know what for - For him to make you come and then to stop, because it’s too much. Begging him for more and less, the push and pull of it all. Joel smirks against your cunt, proud of the delirium he’s brought you to using just his mouth. His grip is still ironclad despite all of your grinding and wriggling, trying to right yourself like an insect on its back. He listens intently to your body and all the different noises you’re making, broken moans and those sticky, obscene sounds of your cunt being sucked and licked and lapped. When your thighs begin to twitch, your breaths become sharp and unsteady with your impending release, he doubles down on his efforts until you’re coming all over him, soaking him wet. 

You’re a mess of hazy thoughts, barely aware as he’s pulling your hips back, pushing your chest down. With one hand, he rubs soothing circles on your lower back as he holds the other in front of his face and spits into it before wrapping his palm around his cock, throbbing and angry. He pumps himself a couple of times, the leaking tip rubbing against your ass. When he’s ready, he reaches for your neck with the hand previously rubbing your backside and forces you up. He bites your ear first, then fits the head of his cock into your entrance. 

Joel offers no warning before burying himself into you inch by inch, splitting you in two. You whine as he fills you up, stretches and hurts you so nicely, he bites you harder the deeper he pushes into you. He doesn’t take time to let you get used to the ache, he knows you’ve come to love the pain he gives to you, because that’s what he’s made you do. Joel pulls out of you all the way and pushes himself right back in, harder and faster than before. “Know it hurts,” he says with your earlobe between his teeth, “But you gotta take all of it.”

Joel fucks you quickly at first, having already found the right pace and the right angle to make you squirm in pleasure. He wraps his arm around your torso and nudges your head to the side so he can bite into your neck again. You’re flush against his torso. He fucks you steadily - in, out, in, out. You keen into the sensation, losing yourself in it all - he’s hot and clammy behind you, his tuft of unruly pubic hair rubbing against you. You reach behind yourself and touch the side of Joel’s face where his graying curls are muttered against his skin, dampened with his sweat. Joel turns his head and bites into the fleshy part of your thumb. He’s a mess of curses and praises, telling you what a good girl you are between heavy breaths and sharp inhales, whispering fuck and Christ, sweetheart. 

Without a warning, he pulls out of you and falls back on the couch, grabs you roughly by your arm and sits you on top of him. You’re face to face with him now, staring into his dark, hungry eyes as he pulls you down on his cock, fucking you apart. He eyes you up and down, and then his lips curl into a crooked smile. “Look at you,” he whispers, tilting your head down to look at your body. “You’re all marked up, sweetheart. What a goddamn mess. Tried to tell ya this wasn’t a nice game.” 

He’s right. You look down to see your breasts covered in bites and dark bruises, the marks dotting your torso in the dim light. Some are swollen and angry, others not quite so. You see a bruise on your shoulder and think about what you can’t see, the bites on your neck and collarbones. “Let’s count ‘em together,” he purrs in a low tone. He fucks up into you, “One,” he grunts, “Two, three. Four. Jesus, sweetheart, you’re fuckin’ covered. But I ain’t done with you yet.”

Joel pulls you close to him, your chest against his as he thrusts into you. He brings his teeth to that place where your shoulder meets your neck and bites hard, harder than he has before. It hurts, truly fucking hurts and you cry out loudly, a choked sob escaping your throat. He’s broken skin. “Quit squirmin’, be still f’me. Breathe through it,” he instructs, finally tasting your coppery blood on his tongue. With each thrust he moans against you and his teeth sink deeper and deeper, but it feels worse than it is. You won’t scar, but he’ll be lucky if you do. “You’re doin’ so good. Know it’s a lot, I know. I know…”

He licks over the damage and brings his thumb to your clit as he does, pushing you back to examine your face. He wipes away the tears he expected you’d cry as he paints tight, steady circles into your clit, knowing it won’t be hard to bring you to the edge. He reaches up, pulls you close to his face and kisses you gently, tangling his tongue with your own in a way that makes you dizzy. “I gotcha,” he says, “Come for me.” 

You’re right fucking there, aching for release as he rounds your clit with his thumb and rolls his hips into yours. Your breaths are shallow, your moans are broken and you’re squirming - so fucking close. Joel seems to know just what you need: he sinks his teeth into your plump, swollen bottom lip as he works you with those tight, steadied circles, all the while he fucks you deeply. And then you’re there, and god is it intense, the pleasure and pain. You taste your own blood as you come, breaking into pieces in Joel’s arms as powerful waves pleasure wash over you, rough and unrelenting like the sea during a storm.

Joel comes undone with you, loudly, with grunts and groans and other noises of pleasure. With wild thrusts, he paints your insides with his hot come before he slows to a still. You climb off of him and his come spills out of you and onto the old upholstery of the couch. Joel’s breathing heavily next to you, and when he catches his breath he looks at you with relaxed eyes, eyes that go wide when he looks at what he’s done to you. “Fuck,” he mumbles, pulling his shirt from under you and wetting it with water from his canteen. You catch your reflection in the mirror and see some of the bruises and bites he’s left on you, then you look down at the rest of your body. This time, with the light in front of you, you can see it all. Marks on your wrists, your arms, your chest and your hips and your thighs. You smile. He’s added so much color to you, his very own temporary tattoos. “I don’t know what came over me,” he says. He dabs the wet shirt over your bloodied lips and then your neck, his big dark eyes full of worry as he holds one of your hands. He rests it loosely on top of yours, sort of like that game from before. He doesn’t notice you begin to wriggle yours from beneath his. “Gotta get back and clean you up, bandage you and–”

SMACK. You hit his hand, hard. Joel looks flummoxed. 

“Got you.”

When he realizes the game you’re playing, he rolls his eyes and smiles. “Nice one, smartass.” Joel lifts the shirt and examines the bite on your neck a little closer. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you too bad?”

You shake your head no. “I got you,” you repeat, smirking.

“Yeah, whatever. You got me.”

If you enjoyed, please reblog <3 i would appreciate an ask too, just tell me something good <3

[secretsofafangirll]

video star

summary: the time when Olivia appeared in a blind, deaf, mute baking video with the triplets and Matt couldn't keep his hands to himself.

warnings: touchiness in front of people/on camera, suggestive language, suggestive content, use of pet names.

a/n: the song doesn't have any significance, it just plays in o.c.'s headphones.

"Hey guys, welcome back to another Wednesday video," Nick blurted at the camera posed several feet in front of them, "Today we're doing another Deaf, Blind, Mute Baking Challenge."

"However," Chris butted in, sticking a mocking finger in the air, "We have a special guest for today's video," He drawled out and looked off to the side where I was standing. Matt was still leaning back against the counter and smiled at me.

"Come on out, sweetheart." Matt beckoned me over with a flick of his fingers and a nod of his head. I jumped into frame and smiled at the camera.

"Hi guys!" I waved enthusiastically and placed my hands on the counter in front of me.

"For those of you who don't know, Olivia is our best friend in the whole world and Matt's girlfriend. If you didn't know that, you've obviously never watched a video because she's in all of our vlogs and we never shut up about her." Nick summed up the basics for the viewers at home.

I've been friends with the triplets since my freshman year of high school. Chris and I instantly clicked one day in Math when our more extroverted personalities found their ways to one another. He introduced me to his two triplet brothers at lunch that same day, and the rest was history. We became inseparable and spent every second of every day together since. Things became interesting with Matt and me as we got older and grew into ourselves but we officially started dating after we graduated high school. We were always scared to announce our relationship to his fans because they can be volatile to their female friends, but once we did and they accepted that we loved each other, we've been so open and comfortable expressing that love physically on camera.

"So, how this is gonna work is..we're gonna draw out of a hat and three people are gonna be either blind, deaf, or mute and one person won't be able to use their hands. Let's hope that person isn't Olivia, because she's the only one of us that really can bake, like at all," Chris addressed the room and the camera.

"Dude, if I get fucking handcuffed, this is gonna be awful," I raised my brows and turned to Chris.

"Have a little faith, kid," Chris bumped my hip with his. I heard the car keys rattle on Matt's belt loop as he pressed himself away from the counter and came up behind me to wrap his arms around my neck. My hands subconsciously reached up to grip his muscular forearms.

"Alright, well, let's get the fuck on with it," Matt spoke.

"Okay, relax. We've been rolling for two fucking minutes." Nick stuck an accusatory hand up at Matt.

Nick reached around the counter for the hat and we all drew a card.

"Matt, you say yours first," Nick assigned.

"Mute," Matt chuckled, "Too easy."

"Deaf," I read aloud, "Yay! I just get to listen to music." I ran over to the couch and grabbed my headphones, working to connect them to my phone and find a playlist.

"Noo!," Chris whined, "Handcuffed."

"Loser", Nick teased.

"Which means that I am blind." Nick concluded, "Olivia wanted to bake something from scratch but that's a bit too hard for us, so we just got boxed brownies with, like, an extra cookie thing that we have to do too."

As Nick started to read off the contents of the box, I placed the headphones over my ears and pressed "shuffle" on Spotify. The first song to grace my ears was "B.Y.O.B" by System of a Down. A loud, scream-y nu-metal jam to deafen my sensitive ears. If I listened to anything too quiet, I'd be able to hear them. I watched as Matt tied the blindfold onto Nick and then Chris tied the bandana onto Matt. Matt then locked the handcuffs onto Chris' wrists behind his back.

I watched as the three of them tried to talk to each other, myself trying to read their lips and body language. I knew Matt well enough to know he was frustrated and Chris well enough to know he was giving Nick directions.

Quickly, when they started to struggle too much, they called me over. However, my eyes were closed as I mouthed the words to the song and I couldn't hear them.

"Everybody's going to the party have a real good time," I sang with Serj and wagged my finger to the Ooh.

What made me open my eyes was Matt pushing a hand against my lower back to guide me to the counter. The sudden jolt and touch startled me and I lurched forward, almost falling into the hard counter top face first. Matt's hand quickly shot and gripped my waist, pulling me back into him.

"Oh my God!" I yelped, my hands shooting out in front of myself to stop me before he did. He spun me around in his hands and I placed my extended hands on his chest, "Thank you!" I yelled, unaware of my volume. He just pressed a finger to my lips to tell me to be quieter. I whispered a faint apology in return.

I looked over to Chris who was probably spewing some bullshit at us about how cheesy we are, seeing as how his left cheek flexed up slightly in annoyance. Matt ushered me over to the counter where they handed me the box to try and fix what they already messed up. I took one look at the batter and knew they added too much oil.

"Okay," I started, "I think you guys just put too much oil, but it's not hard to fix. I just need a dehydrator like flour or cornstarch to dry out the oil." I turned around to grab the flour from the cabinets that I stock for them, because if I didn't they'd either starve or waste all of their money on eating out.

Due to my shorter stature, I had to stand on my tip toes and stretch the life out of my arms to reach the flour. Matt came up behind me and placed a hand on my side to tell me to relax and he reached up and grabbed it for me. I thanked him before turning around and continuing to mix the brownies, Matt's front just brushed my back the whole time as he watched over my shoulder, his hand resting gently on my hip.

Once I was done with the brownies, I needed to grab a bowl for the cookie part. I wasn't planning on making it, since it's supposed to be a challenge, but I still grabbed the equipment needed. I bent down in front of Matt to grab a smaller bowl from the cabinet below the island. When I leaned over, I didn't realize two things; one, how close I was to Matt and what he wouldn't be able to resist doing when he noticed the position we were in, two, how it would look on camera.

Both of Matt's hands found my hips when I unexpectedly stuck my ass into the air right in front of his dick and he subconsciously pressed himself a tiny bit further into me. Soon, his hand left my hip and it braced itself on the counter above my head so that I wouldn't hit the counter when I got back up.

"Okay, so you guys need to do this, because this is supposed to be your guys' challenge." I started clearly over the sound of Evanescence’s "Going Under”. I sang the words under my breath as I turned away to let them do what they needed to do. I hopped up onto the counter behind them and enjoyed my music as I watched them yell at each other.

At least I thought they were yelling at each other...

Turns out they were yelling at me to preheat the oven that I was sitting next to. I watched as Matt stepped closer to me. He placed his hands on my thighs and nodded to the oven dials. I quickly understood and turned the dial to 350 degrees. Matt's eyes darted all across my face and down my body that was only clothed in shorts and a tank top due to the intense Los Angeles heat. I knew exactly what look he was giving me and it was killing him that he couldn't kiss me.

"Later," I mouthed to him and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. He dropped his head to my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulder to squeeze him into me.

Soon after, the brownies had made it out of the oven safely and we were all stripped of our sense-depriving shackles. I was kind of disappointed to be done with the music, but I missed hearing my favorite boys talk.

"Okay, the brownies are done and they look fine," Nick began to the camera, "But we did fuck them up a little bit, so hopefully Olivia's fix was okay."

"Bro, she's literally a professional chef at this point, I'm sure they're still gonna be great," Chris said matter-of-factly. Nick began to cut the brownies, which they should've baked on parchment paper, and got a piece for all of us. He slid it in front of me and we all tried a bite. They still tasted great and they looked like boxes.

"Obviously, if it were up to me, we wouldn't have boxed anything, but for a boxed brownie mix," Matt came up and hugged me from behind and my hands fell to his that wrapped around me, "I would give this is a solid 8 out of 10." I said giving a thumbs up with the camera.

When they had all given their notes and feedback, they said goodbye to the camera and turned it off.

"You guys need to practice a little something called self-control, you horny fucks," Said Nick as he shook his head and took down the filming equipment. 

"Shut the fuck up, Nick," Matt spat as he pulled me closer, "Hi, my girl. D'you have fun?" He asked, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

I pulled back slightly and leaned up to kiss his lips, "Mhm. I always have fun filming with you guys." I smiled up at his stunning face.

"What'd you listen to?" He asked, pulling away from the hug to reach over and grab a cup from the cabinet, but keeping a hand on my waist. I turned to watch him as he got what he needed.

"I listened to System of a Down and Evanescence. I wish that, like, Nirvana or something came on though." I sighed and looked down for a moment before focusing my attention back on him.

"S'nice. I need to branch out, broaden my musical horizons," He said as he filled his cup with water from the fridge.

"And your kitchen horizons, because, my God, you guys suck at baking." I teased exasperatedely.

"Hey, watch yourself," He tutted, "They suck at baking, I, on the other hand, can whip up a good dessert."

"Alright, mister, I bought already-been-smoked salmon and tried to cook it anyway, Sturniolo." I accused, rolling my eyes jokingly.

"Oh, yeah? You want to play it that way?" He smiled smugly and slowly stepped toward me, setting his water down on the kitchen island.

I backed away in response and put my hands up in defense, "I'm not playing anything. M'just sayin' it how it is. S'not my fault your egos too big."

"You little-," He cut himself off and reached for me. A high-pitched yelp escaped my mouth as I dodged his hand and I backed away from him before running to his bedroom. I might be more agile than him, but his legs are much longer than mine. He caught up to me as I was trying to slam his door shut, and he stopped the door before I could close it. He swooped in quickly, picked me up, and tossed me onto the bed, kicking the door shut somewhere in between.

"Matt!" I giggled, as I sat up, bracing my hands behind me. He crawled onto the bed in front of me and shoved my chest back down.

"Those brownies might have been good," He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss right below my ear, "But I know you're gonna taste even better," He whispered into my ear and began to trail a path of open-mouthed kisses down my neck...

//

author's note: alright...how'd we like it? I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it, but I wanted to put something out. I liked the concept but I'm unsure of how it turned out. let me know what you guys think.

all the love, she <3

[devourable]

⚘ the boys next door

sfwish, mdni | tags ; poly!male yanderes x gn reader (no prns used but 'you'), manipulation, yan behavior, slight fetishization of virginity

originally this was just gonna be one character so thank mazzy for convincing me to make him a poly duo instead lmfao. ik i have things to finish but like,,, boys 🫶

not too proud of this one so ill probs revise it or make a part two at a l8r time when im feeling less rusty

the boys next door were the two that everyone knew of as a pair.

sebastian and tobias grew up together, learned together, played together, and shared absolutely everything practically since they were born. they were what people thought of when the words 'best friends' came to mind.

nothing could or would ever come between the two boys, everyone said.

so it was no shock that when you came in and quite literally got between them — by virtue of moving into the vacancies that separated their homes — their instant mutual attraction to you would do nothing but strengthen the bond between them.

it was odd. any additions to their relationship was unheard of, but...

the boys next door shared everything. you didn't think that'd exclude you, did you?

toby and sebastian were quick to befriend you when you entered their life. you were around their age, practically the only other child in the area at that; but unlike the children at school who they'd turn away from in favor of each other, they readily made you part of their dynamic.

they didn't quite understand the feelings you gave them at first, they were too young to. all they really knew is that they liked being around you, they liked talking about you, and they wanted you to themselves.

when you were young, everything became about you. their favorite games involved them being your loyal knights, or bodyguards, or any other role that involved protecting you from whatever threat their little minds could imagine up.

and when you grew tired of playing the damsel in distress? they were fine with it. whatever you wanted from them, you got. sebastian's gaming console was practically yours with how much he pushed you to play on it. toby would beg his parents to get him any toy he'd seen you show interest in; and he'd always eventually get them for you.

they didn't want you to ever be bored around them. you'd always have a good time on their watch, and they spoiled you relentlessly to the best of their abilities.

you were theirs, now! and you took care of what was yours, no matter what. that's what both of them were taught.

they grew up with you. learned with you. played with you, and of course, they shared you — even as the three of you grew up.

everyone around you saw how much they adored you, too. when asked, the two boys would proclaim how they'd both marry you in the future. it was so cute! no one saw an issue with how they always took up as much time and attention as they could from you. or how you never really seemed to be able to make friends with other kids at your school...

you had your best friends, so it didn't matter. they were all you needed.

the pair grew to love their constant close proximity to you. it ensured that they'd know what was going on in your life at all times as you grew and developed. when you weren't all hanging out together, it wouldn't be unusual for the pair to simply watch your home from their windows, glimpsing into your windows to watch you go about your life.

you were turning into a fine young adult. but you still needed their protection! they both easily surpassed you in size as you all grew up — sebastian in particular, who's height was staggering compared to both you and toby. he liked the edge it gave him, and how intimidating he could be when needed. tobias didn't have that advantage, but everyone liked him enough to respect you as his territory anyway. you were so small and sweet, what if someone saw you the way they did? they couldn't have that, they had no choice but to keep you to themselves.

it felt like you always had at least one of the two at your side at all times. so much so that it felt odd when you were without either of them. sebastian and toby being by your side was as natural as breathing and you grew to never really question their behavior.

they were just making sure you were okay when they insisted on keeping you company when you were home alone. when toby took your first kiss, it was because it only made sense — it should go to someone you trust and care about, right? and when you told the two that you were still a virgin well into adulthood (which they knew, of course), they insisted on being your first.

they knew you better than anyone, they'd know how to make you feel good. and who better to give your virginity to than your best friends?

getting to claim your body, inside and out, was one of the best moments of their lives. no one would ever get to have you the way they did.

no matter what you'd do, where you'd go, you'd always be effected by them in some way — and that's exactly how they wanted it. they'd always be your first best friends, your first boyfriends, your first everything. and you'd always be theirs.

the boys next door would always be entangled in your life. but you wouldn't have it any other way, would you?

they know you better than anyone, after all.

[helluvapoison]

Hey hey !

Can I request a part 2 of Adam and Lucifer being romantic rivals ? Ending in a threesome maybe ? I'm dying to read an Adam x reader x Lucifer smut lmao

I'm sure they would still fight about who is pleasuring y/n better lol

Thanks ! And take this : 💐 !

three’s a crowd if you’re a coward

[i], [ii]

Adam x Reader x Lucifer (NSFW)

18+ /only beyond this point!

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

• Considering you had the two of them wrapped around your finger… this was destined to happen– and there was no lying your way out of this one, you wanted it to happen too

• They didn’t need to like each other. Just you, if they wanted it to work. Lord have mercy, did they ever

• “I don’t think he’ll be a problem for me,” Lucifer chuckles then drops a kiss on the back of your hand

Adam bristles, glaring at him with a tight smile as he grabs your other hand and kisses your wrist, “Yeah? You’ll be even less of a problem for me, shorty!”

• Like it never ended, which it didn’t, the rivalry and bickering started all over again. What one said, the other would counter placing kisses higher and higher up your arms

“This is exactly what I was worried abo–out!” Your voice jumped to a squeak when one of them, your guess was Adam, bit your neck, “That’s it! Both of you sit!”

• Simultaneously, they dropped to their knees on the ground and looked up at you. Not exactly what you had in mind but not a bad look for them either. Adam seemed a tad unsure of himself in this position, glancing Lucifer who was fidgeting and deliberately avoiding facing either of you

“For fucks sake,” Adam snickered, “don’t tell me you have a boner—“

“Shut it,” You snapped at him, “I’m serious, if you guys want this to work I cannot deal with anymore fighting! And-And no biting so high!”

You didn’t particularly care about the latter one way or the other, you were merely riding this power high

“So… bite lower?” Lucifer asks eagerly, his crimson eyes the size of pinpricks

• Destined, I tell you

• Reduced to a moaning disaster, Adam stood in front of you, cradling your jaw and rocking his dick into your drooling mouth. Every time your tongue swirled around the head of his cock, his hips would stutter and he’d push your limits, earning a swat to his thigh. He’d stutter out a, “s-sorry, babe,” and force himself still

• Lucifer was fairing no better. He came in you twice already, sobbing from overstimulation. How could he not!? Kneeling over him, bouncing on his cock while he dug his claws into your hips like a lifeline. “C-Can’t. Please, fuck, I can’t,” he whined against your skin

• You had no choice but to change positions for him. You were almost disappointed Lucifer had to tap out when he slithered underneath you and pulled your down onto his face. Forked tongue deep inside you, cleaning up the mess he made had you moaning around Adam’s dick

• “Shit, ‘m gonna cum—“

Lucifer pulled away just enough to let his snarky comment be heard, “So soon?”

“Motherf-f-fucker! Fuck, fuck fuck!”

• Desperate not to let Lucifer ruin his orgasm, Adam pulled your hair, effectively tugging you closer to him and away from the other. He grunted out many more swears amongst your name, filling your mouth with his load

• Lucifer would later declare he was acting selflessly, in your best interest when he guided you back onto his tongue and drove you over the edge a final time

• Adam fixed your hair and brought you water

• Lucifer took a damp rag and cleaned you up

• They both doted on you, delivered praise in their own ways, dressing you with clothes that didn’t match. Maybe they didn’t realize they were working together but it was possible! And that made you feel much, much better about your decision

• They absolutely bickered about who made you moan louder later as you slept between them. Lucifer snuggled into your chest while Adam brought you into his, keeping an arm around your waist

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ UNO REVERSO! TAKE THIS 🍫 because you’re so sweet! enjoy!

[bitternanami]

something i think is really interesting about dungeon meshi is the cast's respective views on food as the story progresses. the way many adventurers get through the dungeon is to eat when they Must, but mostly rely on healing magic to keep going when they're tired or beaten down. death is something you can buy your way out of, here.

having these lower stakes when it comes to running yourself too hard has made a lot of people in this setting kind of devalue food and what it does for you.

im not all the way through the manga yet, but so far i really like how it goes about debunking that mindset.

long post under the cut, cw explicit discussion of disordered eating. textual depiction of unhealthy methods of dealing with it. please be cautious!

it seems like to most folks, food is either a decadent luxury, like when the governor offers mr tance a feast as a show of power and wealth, (although he is the only one who actually eats in that scene as he talks about his ambitions);

[id: the governor and mr. tance talk politics and hierarchies, while the governor eats from a bowl. mr. tance's meal is not visible behind a speech bubble.

"so you believe the sorceror is an elf?" he asks.

"i can't say with absolute certainty," mr. tance replies, "but the spells are not ones dwarves and humans typically use." /end id]

like the painted-royal feasts laios tries to partake in that never actually nourish him...

[id: laios, fresh out of the living painting feast, surprisedly holding his grumbling stomach /end id]

or, to the working class, it's pretty much exclusively fuel. i'm thinking about the scene where kabru's party, ostensibly intended to be our view into how adventuring Typically goes for most people, is shown preparing to go to the dungeon by like. walking up to someone and ordering 'a weeks' worth of rations.' purely functional.

[id: kabru enters a store, and the merchant says "welcome!"

kabru says "i need a week's worth of rations for six, and two days' worth of water."

"sure thing." the merchant then reaches behind him and grabs a large cube-shaped package, wrapped in nondescript cloth and tied in place. it thumps onto the counter in front of them both. /end id]

when kabru hands mickbell his food for the trip, he complains about how heavy it is on his back. it's a necessary liability.

we also see chilchuck, in an early chapter where there isn't much food to go around, grumbling about how he used to be better at not noticing when he was hungry. he's frustrated that he's more attuned to his bodily needs, now that he's starting to fill them with regularity.

[id: chilchuck, the only one awake, sits in his bedroll and glares at the timekeeping-candle burning down in front of him while he listens to his stomach growl. moving to find his canteen and fill himself with water instead, he thinks to himself, "my stomach has gotten weaker. i used to be able to go two days without food." /end id]

(like im not even gonna lie this is a big mood. the healing process is really really annoying)

even laios, early on, working out the logistics of going back for falin, considers his expenses and ultimately the thing he decides to save money on is their food supply. like, even the guy most invested in eating as an experience kind of just assumes he will Figure It Out. its what hes eating, not how hes eating it that matters to him at that point.

[id: marcille looks down at the ingredients they've gathered, the walking mushroom and the scorpion in an unappetizing heap on the ground, and asks laios "so how exactly do we eat them?"

he responds "let's just cook them, like normal." /end id]

but its here that senshi introduces the idea of food as art and as healing. its exciting and its fascinating for laios, getting to taste the creatures hes been reading about and fighting, but i dont think it would ever really help him feel full if not for this.

[id: three panels of laios tasting the scorpion hotpot, looking stunned, and then excitedly telling senshi "delicious!"

senshi matches his energy, asking "isn't it? isn't it?" /end id]

pictured: guy who had resigned himself to kind of just doing his best rediscovers the joy in something tasting really fucking good

what they did last time isnt going to work. falin is gone, and constantly anesthetizing their pain and healing through their weakness is no longer a realistic option for the party. in order to make it through they must all relearn how to eat well, one by one and as a group over and over again, because its either that or nothing.

one of my favorite depictions of this idea thus far is when marcille is seriously low on health and mana, and both of these problems are mitigated by taking care of herself, and trying to get iron and protein

[id: marcille, looking sickly, wakes to laios saying, "marcille, marcille, can you sit up? we've got something nice for you."

she watches senshi grill pieces of kelpie liver on a low fire, while laios ties a bib around her neck. /end id]

and drinking a bunch of dead water spirits. she gets the idea, she's supposed to get in nutrients and it'll help her feel better, but in aiming for the quick, inefficient fix, namely chugging that shit down like she heard it was good to Stay Hydrated and decided that would be the thing that fixes her,

[id: marcille throws back a cup of boiled undine-water, her face red. laios asks, "do you really need to drink it that fast?"

she gasps out "...the magical energy stored in nature spirits is actually quite hard to absorb. even if you drink a lot, the majority of it is excreted without being absorbed," and takes another drink. "that's why i need to drink as much as i can."

laios says weakly "you'll get water poisoning," but marcille only stops when senshi puts a hand on her shoulder and says,

"it's easier to absorb nutrients if ye digest them with food. that's a fundamental rule of nutrition."

marcille says, "senshi..." contemplative

and he holds out a bowl of tentuclus and a thumbs up. "let's get cooking!" /end id]

she doesn't immediately realize the answer is that she needs more than that. she's been working hard. she needs care, and she needs nourishment.

once she gets that, though, she makes her boiled water into a stew, and she works to make that stew as good as she can, and everyone can have some.

because in dungeon meshi, to feed yourself or allow yourself to be fed is treated as performing a kindness for yourself. food is what propels you, but there is also an art and a joy inherent to the process of making it; in the way you feel when you've had enough to eat.

[id: senshi watches as chilchuck and marcille eat and excitedly hash out plans.

"i've got a good feeling about this! maybe it'll work out!" chilchuck says

marcille responds, "well it's easier to feel optimistic on a full stomach!"

senshi smiles, proud. /end id]

^^^ i want to put this image on my wall

when you're working through disordered eating habits, you really do have to keep learning this shit. (in my experience, learning about cooking is one of the best ways to do so.)

i'll have to see if my thesis holds up as i continue, but i think one of the reasons the portrayal here resonates with me so hard is that ryoko kui puts most of her characters at eye level with me on this. they're all working at it, too. the text and i are both commiserating, and encouraging each other, 'have some more, you'll feel better.'