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holdmytesseract · 2 years ago

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Lost

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Summary: Daryl isn't the same since the incident at the bridge. He rather searches in the woods for his brother, than staying in Alexandria. He needs space - and you respect that. But when you visit him, all your dreams and hopes come crashing down at what you stumble upon...

Warnings: usual TWD stuff, some swear words, mentions of cheating? angst, kinda sad

Set in Season 10!

Word Count: 2,6k

a/n: Finally I made it to write another Daryl oneshot! Yay! 😁 I watched episode 18 of season 10 and well... Got this idea - and it turned out to be kinda sad, honestly... 🙈 I hope you enjoy it! Also, sorry to all the Leah fans out there! 🙈

Tagging: @in-this-minute @thefemininemystiquee @hotgirlsshareaccounts @azanoni @lokisgoodgirl

If you want to be added to my Daryl taglist, please let me know!

MASTERLIST ǁ PART TWO

The sun was about to set, when you saw the walls of the Kingdom appear in the distance. You stopped the beautiful brown horse you sat upon, just for a moment to watch the orange-reddish sun go down and get replaced by the moon. You'd never get tired of watching sunsets... Never. Not even in a world like this. Unfortunately got your moment of peace and silence interrupted by an all too familiar groan and snarl, followed by the sound of heavy steps through the high grass. You sighed and looked to your left, seeing a single walker making its way over to you. He was not quite fast, due to the fact that his right leg was almost completely sliced up. Anyways, it was time to go. "Come on, buddy." You gently nudged the horse's side with your legs, causing the strong animal to start walking again. Leaving the lonely walker easily behind yourself, you made your way to the gates of the Kingdom, which got immediately opened for you to ride in. "Hey, Y/N." Dianne greeted you with a small smile. "Dianne." You nodded at her, smiling as well. "Carol is already waiting for you in the cinema." The archer said, as you descended from your horse. "Thought so." "Go, meet her. I'll take care of this one." Dianne said, patting the animal's neck with one hand and taking the rein in her other hand. You gave her another nod. "Thanks." You expected to be already awaited by Carol, since you promised her to be here by noon. Well... Nightfall wasn't exactly noon. Unfortunately, there were a few things who got in the way and - let's say you got a bit... distracted as well.

"Carol, hey." You greeted her, walking down the aisle between the rows of seats, direction stage. "Y/N! Finally!" She stormed towards you immediately, "I already was afraid that something might've happened to you!" and hugged you tightly. "'M sorry, Carol. There were a few walker incidents and... other things I came across."

You had made the journey from Alexandria to the Kingdom, because you promised your friends to help them with their problems. The Kingdom was more than less falling apart so slowly. Especially the old, rusty and brittle pipe system worried the people. As chance would have it, your dad had been a plumber and you learned how to forge in Hilltop from Earl almost a year ago, so...

"Other things you came across?" Your friend, which whom you've known for years now asked with a raised eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. "What is that supposed to mean?" "Well, um-" "No, no, wait a second... I know that face." She said, starting to smirk, "Is this 'other thing you came across' coincidentally named Daryl?" and wiggling her eyebrows.

Carol knew, of course, just like your other closest friends, that you and Daryl basically were a thing. You were already living in Alexandria, when Rick and his group joined the community. The strong and tough, yet shy and loyal archer caught your sight immediately; harbouring a schoolgirl crush on him since then. It only got worse when he taught you how to fight, after the Wolves attacked and the big herd of walkers, flooding through the gates of Alexandria. Someway, somehow you managed to get closer to him, tearing down these walls he had built around him. You took it slow, gave him all the time he needed; taking step after step - and well... At some point you kind of just... got together. He was the man you never knew you needed in your life – and suddenly there he was. The man you never thought you were going to find, and due to the end of the world, did.

A sad sigh left your lips, as you hung your head and shook it. "No... I wish it would've been like this... I haven't seen him in weeks - months..." "I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't know, I..." You shook your head once again and looked up to meet Carol's eyes. "No, don't worry. It's alright." She saw of course the tears, which had started to gather in your eyes and placed immediately a hand on your shoulder. "It clearly isn't. Come." Carol nodded towards the seats and guided you over, where you two sat down in the first row. "Spill it. What happened?" You took a deep breath and rested your head in your hands. "Nothing particularly, I... I don't know. It's just... I'm afraid I might lose him. Since Rick's death, he distanced himself. You know what I'm talking about..." Carol's face held a compassionate, yet sad gaze as she nodded. "I understand that. Gods, I never could not understand it. He lost his brother that day. A part of his family - of his history. I know that he had to do this... Go out there, live in the woods and search for Rick, but... That was almost two years ago." You said with a sigh. "I miss him, Carol. I miss spending time with him. I miss going out to hunt with him. I miss driving around with him on his bike. I miss him, sleeping next me. I feel so cold at night. So lonely. I miss his presence, his attention, his warm embraces... I miss how he used to kiss me; how he used to hold me after we..." You trailed off, as you realised what you were going to say. Not that you didn't trust your friend, but you didn't want to spill the secrets of your more intimate interactions with Daryl. "You know..." You just said instead, lowering your head again, fumbling with your fingers.

Once more you felt the gentle touch of the woman's hand on your shoulder. "I know, Y/N... I know what you mean. I noticed it as well. He shuts himself more and more off." She stated with a sad tone in her voice. If someone knew, then it was Carol. After all, she and Daryl were the definition of best friends. "I would just join him, you know... Living with him in the woods, probably search for a sweet, little hut to live there, but I know that he wouldn't want this. I know that he needs space and time to heal the gaping wound Rick left behind. He needs - wants to do this alone. And besides, he wouldn't want me to risk my life. He feels better when I'm behind the safe walls of Alexandria, so..." You paused for a short moment. "I let him be. I have no other choice. It just scares the shit outta me, you know. I often find myself laying awake at night, thinking that something could happen to him out there. What if he gets himself hurt or attacked by a herd of walkers? Or God forbid, what if he comes across bad people and gets killed? What if he dies? I am afraid I might lose him - no..." You felt a tear running down your cheek. "I'm afraid I already lost him..." Carol had been quiet until now, listened closely and patiently what you clearly had to get off your chest. "Y/N... I understand your fears and worries, but we both know that Daryl is a survivor. If someone can survive out there alone, it's him." Then she reached for your hand, took it in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "And I can assure you that you didn't lose him. Every time I visit him, all he does is asking about you. Asks how you are and what you've been up to lately. He wants to make sure that you are safe and healthy. And every time I tell him about you, I can see how his face lights up and how that soft, rare smile appears on his face. I can see the love in his eyes, Y/N. He's never lost it. Never." You sobbed at her words, wiping away the tears and feeling your heart ache for the man you learned to love so much. "R-Really?" She gave you a small smile, nodding. "Really." You couldn't help but to break out into a smile as well. Daryl was still here - and he still loved you and cared about you. "Do you... Do you know where he is? Last time I wanted to visit him at his old place, he was gone... I-I gotta see him." Your friend nodded. "I just saw him last week. I know where he is." Carol showed you on a map, where the river was located, at which Daryl was currently staying at. "Thank you, Carol." She smiled at you. "Of course, Y/N. Can't let my favourite couple just split apart, can I? But don't tell him I was the one who told you. You know that he just wants you to be safe." A soft giggle left your lips, "Promise." before you both made your way towards the Kingdom's pipe problem, taking a look at the damage.

On the next morning, you were beginning to work on fixing the problem, together with a few other members of the Kingdom. Thoughts were running wildly through your head; heart thudding against your ribcage, as you worked on the old, unstable pipe system to somehow get it fixed - but you just couldn't concentrate. The fact that you were now able to see him again sent your body and feelings into overdrive. You couldn't wait to feel his callous, but gentle hands enveloping yours. You couldn't wait to wrap your arms around his strong, broad body. You couldn't wait to taste his lips with yours again and hopefully just dive into the depths of the love you shared with him. All you could think about was him - which you got punished for. "Ouch!" You yelped, as the hammer didn't come down on the metal, but on your thumb. You hissed and let go of the piece of metal and took a look at the damage. "Y/N?! Everything alright?!" Carol's voice urged to your ears, from around the corner. "Yeah, fine!" You called out, reassuring her. "Just accidentally hit my thumb." "You sure?" "Yeah!"

Unfortunately, this wasn't the only 'incident' that happened to you that day. You just weren't able to focus on the task ahead... "Y/N, I think you should stop working for today." Carol stated, approaching you with her arms crossed over her chest. "But I-" "No." She shook her head interrupting you and shaking her head. "You are absent-minded. So slowly I'm afraid you are really going to hurt yourself badly - or damage the already damaged pipes even more, so..." You looked at her, eyes fill with sorrow. You already wanted to apologise and tell her, that you'd try to focus now, but Carol was faster. "Go to him." She said, a smile spread over her face. You blinked. "B-But... I promised to help you..." "Yes, but not in the moment. I know you want to see Daryl, so go, have a wonderful night with him and come back to help us. Deal?" You breathed out a soft laugh, nodding. "Deal." You grabbed your things and Carol's map; and immediately went to the stables to get your horse. Securing your knives to your belt and slinging your bow and arrows over your shoulder, you sat up on the brown stallion. "Let's go, find him." The guards on the gates let you out, closing the steel 'door' behind you.

As fast as possible you rode towards the river, navigating through the woods. It was another thing you learned from Daryl. Using maps correctly - and in that moment, you were more than just grateful that he taught you that.

When you saw a tent appearing in distance and something that looked like a mini camp, you descended from the horse and decided to walk the last distance. You could clearly tell that it was Daryl's camp, what caused your lips to curl into a bright smile. You quickened your steps, impatient on seeing him finally again. You could already hear that deep, gruff southern voice of his, making your heart beat faster. You didn't waste a thought on who he was talking to. Why would you? Your brain was clouded with sheer happiness and utter joy to see your man again. But then you reached the mini camp - and suddenly that thought you discarded mere seconds ago came back to you and hit you harder than a bullet ever could. Daryl sat by the river, surrounded by colourful leaves, which had fallen from the trees. His angel-winged vest seemed like to shimmer in the warm autumn sun. He had his arms wrapped around his legs; gaze directed on the quiet and peaceful river - but he wasn't alone. A woman with light brown hair was sitting next to him. She was laughing and smiling and to you, they seemed to be pretty close. Like in a trance, you took a few cautious steps forward, like you hadn't seen enough already. Like your heart wasn't about to break any second.

You witnessed with tears in your eyes, how the woman placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned closer to peck his cheek. In that moment, you felt how your heart clattered to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. You couldn't believe this. You never thought Daryl was the type to cheat, but well... Apparently you were wrong about this - about him.

Sure, you could've just left without a single word, but the disappointment and anger you felt inside you wouldn't have it. "So that's what you've been doing all those months, distancing yourself from me. I see..." You spoke up, desperately trying to sound cold and hiding the quiver in your voice. Your words caught immediately both their attention, of course, causing them to spin around to face you. While you could clearly see all the colour draining from Daryl's face in shock, was the woman looking at you confused. "Y/N..." Your name on his lips sounded suddenly so utterly wrong... Before you knew it, the man literally jumped to his feet, already making his way over to you, his heavy boots hitting the wooden ground. "Y/N, 'm sorry, this... This isn't how it looks, gods, I swear, I..." He tried to desperately explain himself, but the damage was done. For you, it was more than clear. You had connected the dots. Daryl reached for you, placed his hands gently on your arms, but you flinched away from his touch, "D-Don't..." and took a few steps backwards. Panic flashed in his blue eyes. "I-I have seen enough a-and now I really know why you s-shut yourself off." With those words you turned around to leave. You hadn't the strength to look at him - or her for even a minute longer. Daryl came of course after you, once again tried to explain everything and apologise, but the lot of his words never reached you. You felt like numbed; only acting on instinct. "Y/N, please..." You ignored him and sat on your horse. "I-I love ya!" Daryl said, clearly desperate. The words stung in your heart. "Really? Doesn't seem like it." You answered, tears blurring your vision, before you gently nudged the sides of the stallion. "Y/N!" He called your name once again, but without looking back, you rode away.

You didn't hear the heart-breaking scream, which left Daryl's lips. "Goddamit!" Why was he such a damn idiot? The archer asked himself, on the verge of breaking down. Once again, he fucked everything up. Once again, he made a mistake, which caused him to lose the only good thing in his life. The woman he loved so much.

a/n: Perhaps there is going to be a part 2? 👀

#daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon #daryl x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl x y/n #daryl dixion imagine #twd #the walking dead #twd season 10 #twd fanfic

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jiyascepter · 6 months ago

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˗ˏˋ➳ Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead | headers

Requested by: @holdmytesseract

Thank you sm for this request @holdmytesseract, I had a lot of fun making these even tho I was so clueless about the show😂 I really hope you like what I came up with 🤍 I'll make changes if you want me to!

Do not repost

Reblog if you save & pls give credits

open the picture then download for better quality ✨

#j: headers #t: the walking dead #c: daryl dixon #daryl dixon #the walking dead #twd #twd season 11 #twd season 10 #norman reedus #the walking dead headers #headers #tv shows #tv series #tumblr headers #banners #twd banners #the walking dead banners

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onefail-at-atime · 29 days ago

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We were robbed of a scene where Alden would be softly singing to a baby Adam.

I imagine he would have been a lot like Beth and would have sang modern songs instead of cryptic nursery rhymes.

It's so annoying that so many episodes in S9 and S10 revolved around people who cared for that baby, only for his last adoptive parent to be KO'd off screen. Then nobody even mentions Adam until the time jump in 11x24.

#alden twd #the walking dead #twd amc #adam sutton #earl sutton #tammy rose sutton #gamma twd #mary twd #frances twd #alden sutton #twd #twd season 10 #twd season 9

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eccentricallygothic · 4 months ago

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twd stressed me out so much i restarted sons of anarchy 🫠

#twd season 10 #the walking dead tv show #the walking dead series #the walking dead #twd #rick grimes twd #daryl dixon #carol peletier #sons of anarchy #jax teller #jackson teller

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stanacct · 6 months ago

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Juanita "Princess" Sanchez is actually the love of my life, and every time i rewatch the series i fall in love with her, and women in general, all over again

#princess #twd #twd spoilers #twd season 10 #wlw #mine

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gotham-at-nightfall · 2 years ago

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The Walking Dead

#the walking dead #twd season 1 #twd season 2 #twd season 3 #twd season 4 #twd season 5 #twd season 6 #twd season 7 #twd season 8 #twd season 9 #twd season 10 #twd season 11

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sasodei-is-real · 2 years ago

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I really need to talk to other Carol and Caryl fans ab this. I need your opinion on 10×18 Caryl

So. I recently started watching The Walking Dead. A long time ago I watched season 1, but I didn’t go further because I was busy with my diploma work, etc. And so started from the second season , I notice some hints of Carol and Darl's relationship. It didn't interest me much, because it was something like banal ones, like the scene on the tower "screw around" . But over time, as their relationship began to open up, I found that it's deeply written down how complex and emotional the relationship is. This really does not happen often, and it's not just about chemistry. It's about the level at which they have each other and how deeply they care about each other, how much they mean to each other. And I started to like caryl. But here I am at the tenth e.

So, a lot of mistakes that Carol did., but you can understand on her. This character went through hell. Lost everything. And broke. And naturally, her actions would have to be subject to certain consequences, including in relation to people's personal changes towards her. But I want to talk specifically about Deryl. I think it's a very possible and real moment when Carol begs him to say something and he just walks away. It's very strong and epic. He just talked to her about how much he wants to help her how much he believes that in his place she would stop him he literally shows with his whole appearance how he needs her, she promises. And still unable to stop . He told her during that conversation so many frank things that he did not tell anyone and would not tell anyone so openly. But that didn't help and she literally tried to blow up the cave and commit suicide

Carol feels guilty, she does absolutely everything to achieve at least something, at least some understanding between them, but Daryl is moving away from her more and more. Okay, that's understandable, because she really made a mistake. Even after he warned her. Moreover, I would say that in such a situation one could feel some kind of betrayal on her part, because in the cave he talked about how he wanted to be near her, and she promised to him. It can be understood. Next comes the scene with Carol begging him " pls do not hate me". And, I think, in this case, again, it is quite realistic and adequately suited to this situation.But his answer gives an understanding that he wants to save their relationship that this is not the end. He gave her no more, no less. But he could at least behave differently after this scene. He knows how much he is dear to her. knows that in this situation, she literally lost everything. And yes, in part - It's her fault, because she just didn't stop when he said that three times, if not more. But like, she's your closest person. And you don't just leave a person in such a state, but you make it worse. Moreover, this attitude changes in accordance with his change of mood.

But, okay. Then comes the moment where he says "you still have me". And here it seems to me that here the characters begin to behave like mature people. Yes, he left her even though he knew she was suffering, she was suicia0l. He also needed time. Yes, one of them has risen to the pinnacle of error. But now, after you gave her some hope, you need to accept this and sort it out microscopically, including clarifying relationships between the two of you, build it again so as not to lose. But no🤡

I'm watching episode 18 right now. And right at the beginning of the episode, when Carol wants to go hunting with him, he acts like he hasn't said anything to give her hope that things can be fixed between them. In fact, he simply does not take responsibility for his words and behaves as detached and cold as before those words. He is like a teenager who does his actions not based on responsibility and decisions made, but because of a change in mood.You've already taken two steps back. You supported her in front of Maggie. You gave her hope, you said she didn't lose you. And after all this, you again behave more coldly even than before. Literally emotional swing. Why did you have to do all this after you give hope to a person. And of course there's a lot between them to talk about, there's a situation that still needs to be cleared up, but he doesn't even do that. He does not say how angry he is, does not try to talk about what happened, he just gives her an emotional swing, ignoring her, looking askance at her. and Yes, it's okay to go back to what's bothering you, even after you've given the person hope, but not in this way. In the end, he says that he does not want to talk when Carol starts. WTF. A child who does not understand that the way he behaves affects other people. As if his head still does not fit that his mood can affect the mood of another person that he is so important to someone.This is not a good way to show that you are angry, not after saying that she still has you.

He does not want to go forward does not want to understand this, does not want to talk about it , but at the same time, with his whole appearance, he shows that his attitude has changed even after he said that she did not lose him. He does not follow his decisions and words, it all changes according to his mood. and Carol has no choice but to accept it.

After such a situation, there are two ways out: you renounce the relationship and do not give the hope to person that everything can be fixed if it is too much for you. and the second option after you've gone through the anger. If you don't want to lose this relationship, you let the person know that you're there for them and then try to figure out what happened. No matter what, he doesn't want to lose Carol. That's why he said she " You still have me" . But at the same time, he is not able to stick to this, he is not able to cope with it and figure it out, he just starts to behave as coldly as before, arranging an emotional swing.

They have too deep a relationship for the first option. And it's obvious that he doesn't want to lose her. That's why he said he could never hate her. but at the same time he is not mature enough for the second option.

What Carroll does is she feels guilty and tries to laugh it off, can't afford anything big, tries to defuse the situation even though it's hard. And he knows it, and he puts her in that position anyway. And he tries so pretentiously to show his displeasure that he even looks accusingly at how she butchers the fish. And Carol notices it. "Let's say that I'm doing everything wrong. I can butcher fish." And you know, it's okay to feel what Daryl feels. When you are so upset by the act of another person that you involuntarily begin to get angry every time. But it's not that he shouldn't feel it. It's about how he deals with those feelings. And he behaves like an immature schoolboy with a changeable mood. But Carroll always gives him a chance to speak out. This is the most important thing, to try to resolve what has arisen. But what does he do? Not just ignores, but seasons with even more bitterness. And it's just disgusting.

And now I got to their conversation after the flashbacks about Leia. Carroll tries to comfort him, tries to make sure he doesn't feel guilty about what happened. How does Daryl respond to this?) He tries to prick her. After every episode, I try to read the interviews and about this moment, Norman said that he feels guilty about what happened to Kony. And in fact, it really is part of his fault because he made everyone else go after Carol. And at that moment, he just dumps everything on Carol to stop feeling this guilt. The same could be said from Norman's interview. And you know, it's very ironic, because at this point he blames Carol for leaving with him because she felt guilty. And so I decided to put everything on him. Meanwhile, when the truth is that he himself had just tried to inject her in order to stop feeling guilty. In the end, Kang said that he just wanted her to make the same decision that He made after the story with Leah. Bad way.

Deral has been my favorite character since season 2. It has a complex history and a long development. It is partly understandable why he behaves in this way, but understanding does not exclude the fact that this still remains immature and infantile behavior. Quite a traumatized man and as the show says, "He was one of the survivors before this whole mess started." It's no secret that he went through a lot of shit as a kid. But since the episodes where he ran away with Beth, I have been haunted by the feeling for a very long time that he still remained at the age of his trauma. He was incapable of dealing with his feelings and fear and took it all out on Beth. It's like he's still that traumatized child. And this is a very common practice in psychology, when a traumatized person, without being rehabilitated, remains at the age of his trauma, he can develop emotionally, but there will be triggers and moments when he will behave like that same wounded child, or a teenager who is not able to behave in a situation appropriately.

But the fact that this scene happened after he made Carol feel like he was there for her just kills. This is terribly selfish. He said so many unnecessary things and you can see how much it hurt Carol. If he really thought about it, then he should have said it before he gave hope to her.

It is quite obvious that most of their problems and the reason why they cannot solve them now is due to the fact that both are used that they simply understand each other without words. But now is the time when each of them is going through something new. Ordinary understanding is not enough here, it is necessary for the other to be able to speak. They want it, but they're not used to it. That's what Carol meant when she said their luck had run out.

Then, when Daryl asked her to speak, she didn't know how. After, with his help, it turned out, but the pain did not go away. So it is now with Darrel. He can't talk to her right now. But first, he gives her hope, but again moves away from Carol. Leaving her with nothing. He behaves according to his emotions and his mood. There are two obvious facts: he's angry about everything that's going on, but he doesn't want to lose Carol. But the point is how he expresses these two facts in life. He doesn't want to lose Carol, so after letting his anger go, he says he can't hate her and that she still has him, he tried to support her. And then again he behaves with her as coldly as before all these words. After all, she remembers these words and she has no choice but to try to build at least some kind of bridge between them again, to try to get closer to him again. And he looks at her desperate attempts and does nothing but aggravate her condition. In the end, just because of his emotional swings, he says things to her that he shouldn't have said.

So. What the fuck. I'm sorry but Carol deserves more. Yes, she made a mistake, but even Kally was able to forgive her, and Donnie is her sister. Because, as she said herself, she understands why Carol acted the way she did. And it's normal not to understand a person, but you need to TRY to understand if you already chose this path. If you want to maintain a relationship, in order to get off the ground, do not hurt yourself or the other. But instead, he chooses not to lose her, to tie her to himself, to give some hope , while giving in to his emotions without thinking about the other person, absolutely not trying to understand and figure it out.

I'm very disappointed. I already caught the spoilers of season 11. I know that a spin-off was planned with them, I know that in the last episodes he will say that he loves her and they will reconcile. But now watching this series, I just do not understand what the hell. I'm just confused right now about the way daryl is behaving. Because for me it doesn't fit well with his character after his development.

And you know, you can talk for a very long time about why he behaves the way he does. Because of his lifeguard complex, because he may have felt betrayed by Carol, because he stopped understanding her, because there are so many parallels between Carol and Leah, the people he was trying to save, but he failed, or due to the fact that he feels guilty and cannot do anything about it. Because it's not just anger, there's already a reason why he's acting like this AFTER he gave her hope. He is losing her. In the interview at the end of the episode, was revealed that Darryl wants Carol to make the same decision he made. And Carol herself also said that it was not about Leah, or Connie, but about them. Kang in the interview says that he wants Carol to make the same decision that Darrol made - the decision to be with his family to stay there (that's why he blamed her for comeing with him), to understand where she belongs. This is indeed the case here we are talking about something much more, and in matters that they are not yet able to solve. But the way he tries to deal with it is just immature.

And I'm very interested in what other viewers think about this, especially fans of carol and caryll

#the walking dead #caryl #carol peletier #carol x daryl #daryl dixon #twd season 10

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teenagesounds · 2 years ago

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princess was literally a ride or die from the very beginning, like from the second she met our people and people still have the audacity to hate her? tasteless!

#twd #the walking dead #twd princess #twd season 10

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justinewt · 2 years ago

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Father And Daughter - TWD REWRITE Chapter Fourteen

[TWD FANFICTION-MASTERLIST]

Previous chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: The Whisperers’ threat had been put to an end and finally, the survivors of Alexandria and the other communities could focus on rebuilding their homes after the confrontations with their enemies had a toll on them. Alden and Anna enjoyed the peace that was given to them, raising the poor Adam who first lost his biological mother and then Earl and Tammy Rose, his adoptive parents and helping around in Alexandria, but the troubles never really stop and as they cared for the boy, Anna found herself thinking of her late mother, remembering her early days in the apocalypse, and the traumas that followed...

Words: 6.9k

Warnings: TWD spoilers season 10 (finale episode “Here’s Negan”), long chapter, some peaceful everyday life scenes, fluff, but then; LOTS of flashbacks, angst, loss, grief, mention of suicide, childhood traumas, diving into early days of Anna’s survival with her parents,

The people of Alexandria had been working hard on rebuilding the community for the past month or so, even Anna helped renovate the ruins that had been left of their homes after the Whisperers came through the camp. If a couple weeks ago she was just a bit sick and not really sure if she was pregnant or not, she was getting more and more convinced of it as her stomach looked way more bloated than usual and she felt tired a lot more and a lot quicker, and her father had to tell her to take a break and have some rest. He knew of her condition and neither he nor Alden wanted her to overwork herself and be exhausted as a result. Her relationship with Alden also took a new turn when they adopted the little Adam as his first adoptive parents, Earl and Tammy Rose had both died and they found themselves already parents of a 1-year-old boy. Anna grew to love that boy as her own, caring for him and raising him alongside Alden, which greatly strengthened the bond between them. She loved having her little family and being able to focus on that in the aftermath of the last confrontation with the Whisperers. There was finally some peace they could enjoy.

But even that peace was disturbed by the animosity Maggie felt towards Negan, even though it was a little less bad than what Anna expected. Anna went to sat on the steps in front of the house in which Alden, her and Adam had moved into, and she held Adam on her laps, looking around. In the distance she could see her father hammering nails into a beam when Maggie and her son walked down the street and looked at him. They stared at each other for a few seconds and despite the distance between them, one could easily feel the tension. It had been like this ever since Maggie came back to Alexandria and saw Negan around. She stood up, carrying her son in her arms and approached her father. He noticed her approaching and smiled tenderly at her and Adam, for whom he had had no difficulty in loving like his actual grandson. He stroked the little boy's blond hair and Adam looked at Anna innocently grabbing the pendant around her neck. The very pendant containing old pictures of her and her parents. She looked down, glancing at the necklace.

“You still have it.” Negan said softly and she raised her head, nodding. These two pictures inside of the locket were the only memories she had of her life before the outbreak, the only memories of her mother.

“Of course. I still have your knife too.” He chuckled, and as she looked away, she felt him staring at her. It was a soft gaze, with a glimpse nostalgia in his eyes.

“You remind me so much of your mother.”

“I know.” She glanced down, her eyes getting teary at the thought of her mom. He softly drew Anna into a hug before she walked away to go and find Alden. She swiftly wiped her eyes and as she left her father, she looked back and saw Carol talk to him. She frowned a bit, having no idea why they then going the opposite direction together. Given Carol had all her gears and bow, Anna didn’t think much of it, figuring they left to hunt or something. She eventually found Alden, working on cutting planks of wood. He straightened up at the sight of Anna and Adam and gave her a sweet kiss before smiling at Adam and kissing him on the head, caressing his hair. The little boy giggled, calling out to his dad and he stretched out his arms to him. Anna smiled, passing the child to Alden. In that moment, everything that had happened outside the walls of Alexandria as well as inside was gone. They were in their little bubble, the three of them. It was those moments of peace that Anna cherished so much after all she went through. It was really refreshing to love and feel loved. She loved the family she was making with Alden, and it had become the one thing she cared for most and the fact that her father, the one person that had always had so much importance and influence in her life, was a part of it was her dream come true. She wished for this peace to last forever if it only could.

She never knew such a serenity and now that she looked back, even when she was a kid and thought her life was perfect, it wasn’t. Her father cheated on her mother, and he was never the perfect role model she thought he was, which she found out the hard way during her years at the Sanctuary. She remembered the day she was stuck in the trailer with her father and Gabriel and the latter made him confess “his sins”. Gabriel almost got some tears out of that tough man as he told his story, and it was a sight Anna never thought she would witness. For as long as she could remember, she had never seen her father cry or get emotional. She had seen him get aggressive, but it was never towards her. She heard him yell, or argue with her mom, but he never scolded her. Anna kept thinking about this as she walked around Alexandria until she noticed Carol coming back, alone. She remembered seeing her leaving with her father, but he was nowhere to be found. Frowning in confusion, looking around, she took a quick step towards her. Carol noticed her but didn’t stop walking until the young woman addressed her.

“Carol, where’s my dad? Didn’t you go out hunting with him?” Carol stopped in her tracks, apparently not so pleased to be stopped by Anna to talk about this but she turned to her.

“We decided it was best if he went to live outside Alexandria.” Anna was left there in bewilderment and watched Carol walk away, not really giving her time to reply or say anything. She could only realise that her father had been taken away from her again. Anna wasn’t alone but she had spent so long both trying to get away from and then back to her father, that it felt like it in that moment.

15 YEARS AGO (yeah, I know it’s supposed to have been around 12 years but shut up thank you I’m too lazy to fix my fic’s timeline)

Anna threw her school bag on the backseat, slammed the car door shut and went to sit on the passenger sit, in the front, sipping the strawberry smoothie her mother had bought her since after picking it up from school, they had gone to the mall. It was a bit hard money-wise lately but Lucille, her mother, had wanted to get her a little something she liked since the young girl was doing so well at school. Unlike in school, things weren't going as smoothly at home. Her father had lost his job as a high school gym teacher after getting into a fight with a man. That's hos her mother explained it to her anyway, but Anna knew her father beat up a man in a bar, but she didn't know the details of what happened and never dared ask him, even though he would probably just tell her. She wasn't scared of him, he would never hurt her, but she was smoewhat disappointed maybe, because he had lost his job because of it and the girl could see how her mother was burdened with taking care of the house and having to scold him all the time. He had become quite the man child since he was fired and the 11-year-old wondered if they would find him already in the basement, playing video games and yelling profanities while doing so. He had become less of the role model that Anna used to look up to. She always adored both her parents and see their relationship deteriorate was hard on her.

Anna stared at the cup in her hands as she slurped the smoothie through the straw, amusingly cupping her cheeks to the max. Music was playing on the radio and a song that the girl instantly recognized started playing. She smiled at her mom as the woman already started to hum the song but there was some sort of sadness or nostalgia in her eyes. She didn’t really understand why she looked this way and turned her head, staring straight ahead. They arrived in the driveway to the side of their house and Lucille parked the car. Anna got off, grabbed her bag and followed her mom inside. Her father’s voice could already be heard from downstairs along with some loud Rock music. Anna sat down in the living room to do her homeworks while her mother tried telling Negan that the two of them came home but he was too busy with whatever game he was playing. Anna bit her lips, silently watching as her mother sighed in annoyance and grumbled as she walked back and forth around the house, picking up things that were lying around and doing some tidying up and cleaning.

After about an hour, Anna was almost done with her homeworks and Lucille was finishing the dishes when her father finally came out of his cave.

“Oh, you’re home?” He asked, as if it were surprising to see them already home, and walked into the kitchen, opening up the fridge to get a few bottles of beers. Anna looked at what he was doing from the corner of her eyes, dangling her legs under the dining table.

“We have been for over an hour.” Lucille retorted, her back to him as she washed the dishes. He glanced at his wife, noticing she was mad at him, but he didn’t say anything else and walked into the living room, holding about three or four bottles in his hand.

“Hey, apple pie.” He kissed her on the head, stroked her hair and headed back to the basement. This was a typical afternoon for the young girl, ever since her dad lost his job and spent his days at home doing basically nothing, going out when he had appointments. She finished her homeworks and almost jumped on the couch, turning the TV on to watch some cartoons. It had only been about ten minutes of peace when she saw her mom walk across the living room, holding some leather jacket and a piece of paper and went to the basement. Anna was a bit confused so she turned off the TV and discreetly followed her downstairs, staying in the shadows as her mom entered the room. She never willingly listened to her parents’ fights, where it was mostly her mom doing the yelling and her father being rather passive, but right now she was wondering what it was about, and on top of that, she had never seen this jacket so it made her curious.

“Don’t be such a pussy! This is how you get better! You gotta take it!” He declared, not realizing Lucille was walking towards him until she stood in front of the TV.

“Are you playing with children?”

“Uh, teenagers. I think. Mostly.” He shrugged before replying to someone in a lower voice and looked up to his wife, clearly not knowing what she wanted with him. Anna could hear the anger in her mom’s voice as she looked down at the piece of paper in her hand.

“Please tell me that you did not spend $600 on this “Happy Days” bullshit.” She shook the jacket, staring at Negan who was apparently not as troubled by the amount of money. Anna didn’t even dare to ask her mom for stuff because she knew they had money problems and her father was spending the little they had recklessly. At 11 she was almost more mature and thoughtful than the grown man that he was. At the time, Anna didn’t realize it wasn’t normal. It used to be her normal.

“Calm down. Don’t worry.” He said in a casual voice. “I got two leads. One’s a lock, but the other one pays better, and I am just celebrating a little early, is all.

“Really?” He nodded with a silly smile that was probably going to annoy her mother even more. Her tone got harsh as she gradually rose her voice. “Tell me about these two leads. Cause you can’t be a gym teacher anymore You have a misdemeanour assault on your record, and you refuse to go back to school. So, please, oh, I would love it if you would tell me all about this job that you got that’s gonna pay for this.” He kept quiet and understanding he couldn’t explain himself, she turned around. As her mother was about to walk out of the basement, Anna quietly climbed the stairs.

“I threw the receipt away.” She heard her father say and as she settled on the couch, lying down, acting like she was watching the cartoon on the TV, her mother let out a grunt at his reply and she slammed a door. While she went back to doing house chores, outside the sun was setting and soon, night had fallen and it was time for dinner. Anna and her parents were quietly eating, all seated around the dinner table, her mother and her on one side, her father in front of them. The girl was just staring down at her plate, purposely not eating the heap of green beans to the side. Like many kids her age, she didn’t like vegetables and luckily for her, even though her parents always tried to get her to eat some, they never forced her.

“How’s the food?” She glanced at her dad as he tried making conversation.

“It’s good. Did you do somethin’ different?”

“Yeah, I… uh… I tried a little rosemary instead of oregano, and there’s a little white-wine reduction in the chicken stock.” He explained, and Lucille listened but kept very quiet. Anna picked up some green beans with her fork, watched it for a second, and slid it off the fork with her finger deciding against eating it.

“Do I have to eat those?” She asked, staring the beans down and her parents looked at her.

“No.” Negan chuckled and shook his head while Lucille smiled softly at her daughter. Besides from the disliked vegetables, her plate was practically empty already. “Was it good?”

“Yeah.” She sketched a smile. “Can I taste your chicken?” He looked at Lucille for permission and then cut a piece of his chicken stock and handed his fork to Anna. He had cooked hers apart from theirs so there wouldn’t be any alcohol in her food since she was a kid but he ended up letting her get a bite anyway. She took the fork and Negan chuckled at her reaction because she apparently found the taste of it very good. Then, her mom turned to her.

“It’s getting late. If you’re done, clear your plate and check your bag’s ready for tomorrow. Don’t forget your books.” As Anna stood up, she followed up with another question. “Oh, and Emma's mom confirmed it wass still ok for tomorrow night, don't forget your stuff and your pjs.”

“Yes, mom.” She replied mechanically as she put the dish in the sink and walked out of the kitchen to kiss her dad good night. Her mom was often the one who came to tuck her in, sometimes her dad came before she had fallen asleep and he would read her a story but she deemed herself not a baby anymore so it happened way less than it used to when she was under the age of 9. She walked into her room and stood by the door as she heard her mother spoke.

“My appointment’s tomorrow at 2:15.”

“What appointment?”

“I’m getting an MRI.” Anna had no idea what it was but by the tone of her mom’s voice rising up at the lack of reaction from her dad, she figured it was somewhat of a big deal. She went to change into her pjs, trying not to listen but in vain. “I need you to drive me home.”

“Uh, I can’t. Tomorros at 2:15? I-I have a meeting with the probation officer. Besides, you know how the doctors can be. They have you sit around for three hours with your ass hanging out, and then they tell you everything’s fine.” He sounded dismissive, like whatever it was wasn’t important and Anna knew her mother woudn’t like it. Anna turn off the checked her bags and sat in her bed, turning off the lights and with her diary, the cover over her head, a small flashlight and a pen in hand, she wrote in her diary. She had no idea at the time of how much doing this helped her process things that happened in her daily life, especially the things that happened with her parents’ rocky relationship. She was very young and often wondering if her mom didn’t divorce him because of her was a bothering thought to have. They used to look more in love. Her father used to be less careless too. It was all these little changes that she noticed happening over time that confused her, as she didn’t understand why things changed like that. She wished she could just never become an adult, because it looked so troublesome and in the long run, unhappy.

6 MONTHS LATER

Anna sat cross-legged on her parents bed, holding one of her stuffed animals on her laps, watching her father changing the bags hanging from her mother's IV stand while the latter rummaged through a case of DVDs. They had moved all their things in the basement after the outbreak. The house was locked, the windows barricaded to protect the three of them from the dangers of the outside while they tried to survive and continue her mother’s chemotherapy. Anna remembered when she heard her parents talk about this MRI she was getting and at the time, she had no idea what it meant but the next day, when going to sleep over at her friend’s house, she looked it up. She didn’t say anything to her friend and kept it to herself, thinking about all that she had read on the disease. It was scary and deeply upsetting. Then her mother told her the news when she got home and for weeks on end, she would cry herself to sleep. Then, things went downhill, and the dead rose and started to prowl the streets and now, it had been months and even though her father’s behavior had greatly improved, it was hard on the young girl to see her mother struggle, wearing wigs to dress her head as it got bald due to the heavy treatment, her face dull and ringed.

“Trying to figure out what James Bond movie I want to watch.” Lucille said in a low voice. Anna listened to them with one ear, playing with his stuffed toy to alleviate his boredom. Their daily life since the arrival of these monsters outside had not been as hectic as before. They spent their days locked up, sometimes watching movies thanks to a generator outside and sometimes his father went on an expedition to find what his mother needed for her treatment, or sometimes he read books to them. Her mom on her sofa, him sitting on the edge of the bed and Anna curled up next to him, reading over his shoulder or snuggled in her mother’s arms. The world going upside down did give her one thing she wanted, spending time with her parents and being like a family.

“Well, baby, I think we’re gonna have to skip the movie just for now. Generator’s making too much noise.”

“Hey.” She looked up at him. “We’re gonna have to kill it.”

“Why bother right?” He wondered, adjusting the bags on the IV. Athe sound of some monster snarling outside, Anna raised her head and glanced at the small windows blocked by a few boards, the light from the outside seeping into the basement, which was very dimly lit due to the lack of electricity. “I turn the generator off for a little bit, and they lose interest. They always do.” He then walked back to the fridge, grabbed a couple bags and moved them to the freezer on top. On his way out to go check the generator, he gently stroked Anna’s hair and left the basement. The girl never liked when he went outside but someone had to, and she was forbidden to step out of the house. It was too dangerous. Eventually he came back inside and he took a book at his wife’s request, settling his glasses on his nose and sitting on the bed. Anna sat next to him, her head resting against his shoulder as he read.

“‘I see what you are feeling,’ replied Charlotte. ‘You must be surprised, very much surprised… So lately as Mr. Collins was wishing to marry you. But when you have…” He sighed, pausing. “Mama.”

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“This book sucks. It’s killing me. I-I-I can’t… I can’t do it.” He shook his head, glancing at the book with a half amused smirk. Anna chuckled at her father’s reaction and he kissed her hair before looking at Lucille.

“You’re the one that won’t let me watch James Bond. Read.” She mischieviously kicked the book with the leg she rested on his lap. Anna straightened up at the sound of the fence surrounding their house rattling because of this monster that the sound of the generator kept attracting there. Negan put a hand on his daughter’s back to reassure her and Lucille stared at him.

“You gotta take care of it.” Negan knew she was right. He got ready and went outside, armed with a hammer. He was gone for a couple minutes when Lucille grew tired of waiting and stood up.

“I’ll go see what’s taking so long. He’s never gonna kill that thing.” She dragged her IV along with her as she walked away. “Stay right there, okay?”

“Yes, mom.” Anna replied, watching her leave. A silence disturbed by the noises of struggle outside fell on the room and she lied down, sitting her plush on her stomach, silently playing with it, moving her toes around in her socks until she suddenly heard a gunshot outside and curled up, covering her ears in surprise. The monster had stopped making scary noises afterwards though. She just heard her mother’s voice coming from outside but it was muffled and she couldn’t understand what she was saying but when her parents came back, the generators was on and they watched a movie together before her father went out to get some fuel to keep the generator going because it was not only useful to watch movies, it maintained the cold temperatures needed for the bag for her mother’s treatment because without it, she would decline even quicker then she already was with the perfusion. When he came back, Lucille had taken off her wig, wrapped her head in a scarf and was lying in bed with Anna next to her. The young girl hadn’t slept in the same bed as her parents since she was a toddler but there wasn’t really enough room to move her bed out of her room and sleeping in their bed was comforting for her.

“I’m good.” Lucille said softly, resting her eyes.

“I got something for you. I found someone’s stash.” He pulled out a tiny purse and unzipped it. She chuckled. “Now, it’s a little bit dried out, but this is gonna help with your nausea. Hey. No drugs, all right, young lady?” He added, glancing at Anna and she nodded, making an expression of exaggerated disgust and he smiled.

“You’re having to go further and further every time.”

“Well, generator needs gas, and this place has been picked over. But the bright side is… that I reckon that’s exactly what’s keeping us safe. There is nothing here that anybody wants.”

“You can’t keep it up.” She declared weakly. “We need to move. We need other people.”

“It’s just too dangerous out there.”

“That’s’ my point.” Anna silently watched her parents talk, holding her stuffed animal against her chest.

“Baby, you have three treatments left. That’s it, okay? So we are gonna get your strength up, and then I will put you and Anna on my motorcycle and I will take you wherever you want to go… wherever you can dream up. I promise.”

“Okay.” She eventually agreed to it and the day went by and night fell. Every time they would go to sleep, her father would wrap his arms around her mom, trying to warm her up and fight the chills and shivers that shook her weakened body. Anna was curled up next to her mom and often find it hard to find sleep. She looked at her mom when a shiver ran through her body and she made a sound that got the girl to open her eyes. As her father began to softly sing their song to her and saw that Anna wasn’t sleeping so he gave her a comforting smile, caressing her cheek with his thumb and she closed her eyes to try to fall asleep, curled up against her mother.

“Ugh. Damn it.” Negan swore, looking out the window as an umpteenth walker came snarling by.

“It’s not like killing a person, babe. It’s not even like killing an animal. You can’t let it keep bothering you.” She said as she cut a can of food open. He turned to her.

"It doesn’t bother me. I… I’m just worried that I’m gonna get used to it.”

“Okay.” She nodded, smiling tenderly. While he went to turn the generator off, Anna helped her mom set the table and by the time he returned, they had lit a few candles and Anna was seated, touching the floor with the toes and her parents joined her, sitting in front of each other. They ate, chatting and laughing together. It was one of these light moments that made it all seem like everything was fine and there weren’t zombies outside their house. Some normal moments were good for all three of them.

‘How, um… how’s your dinner?” He enquired, after some sauce on his plate.

“It was good. If I had known that dog food could taste like this… I would have been eating that shit all along.” They laughed heartily together. It was crazy that it took all this shit happening outside for Anna to see her parents be so loving towards each other, like old times. She loved to see it; it was very heartwarming.

“Hey.” Lucille called out to him as she turned around to grab something. It was a shopping bag that she had Anna pass to her dad. “Happy anniversary.”

“Wait. You actually know what day it is?” He asked as he took it, adding a thank you for his daughter. Lucille chuckled.

“No. I just want you to have it. Open it.” He looked at her with curiosity and proceeded to open the bag with a sound of paper rustling. Anna turned to her father to look into the bag. He glanced at Lucille, who smiled cheerfully, laughing and he took his vintage jacket out of the bag, the exact same she yelled at him for after he had spent hundreds of dollars on. She never got rid of it apparently.

“Holy… shit!” He was so happy to have the jacket. “Where did you get this?”

“Okay, it was in the crawlspace this whole time. Cause I was mad. I was so mad that I couldn’t return it, so I just hid it, and I told you I returned it. So, there you go.”

“You’re awesome.” They laughed together again and he motioned for Anna to come closer and held up the jacket with an amused grin on his face. “You want to try it on?”

“I can?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled, nodding and she turned around, slipping one arm after the other in the sleeves and she then turned back to them, stretching out her arms with a big smile. The piece of clothing was way too big for her body, but she loved having it on. He joked that she looked like a little badass and then drew her into a hug and she sat in his lap, and he pressed a kid on her forehead.

“I’m sorry.” Lucille then said, catching his attention. “I’m really sorry I made a big deal out of it. If I’d known…” She took a deep breath, briefly closing her eyes. “like, all this was gonna happen, I wouldn’t have cared about a stupid credit-card bill.”

“No. No, no, no…” He shook his head. “See, I, um… I don’t deserve anything from you. And you shouldn’t be apologizing to me. Uh, it should be me apologizing to you, and you.” He glanced at his daughter, soflty holding her chin in between his thumb and index before turning to Lucille as he spoke. The smiles on both Lucille and Anna’s faded as the conversation got a little more serious and the girl just looked down at her empty plate, listening. “the pain that I put you through… You know, uh… You know, I lie awake at night just wondering how I got so lucky that you have stuck with me.”

“Come here.” Lucille stood up and walked around the table and sat on his laps, holding his face in her hand, the other on her daughter’s shoulder. “I stuck with you ‘cause I could always see the man you are right now. Even when you weren’t. And that asshole really had it comin’.” She assured, almost crying.

“Yes, ma’am.” They shared a kiss and they all fell asleep easy that night, until he woke up suddenly at the sound of water dripping from the fridge. Lucille and Anna both sat up in the bed after he jumped off, almost running to open the freezer and the moment he did, water came flowing out of it. This was really bad. He grabbed the thermometer inside and looked at it with a grave glimpse in his eyes. After a cheerful evening, the day was starting off on the wrong foot and even the 11-year-old knew that it meant nothing good. She wished she could just go back in time and spend another good dinner time with them. “Remember that guy and his family came through here a while back? The kid had leukemia, uh, and they were looking for this group of doctors that travelled around in a mobile clinic? Well, I remember. I sat down with him. He showed me his map. These doctors, they take the same route every time and they make the same stops. I think I know where they are, and if I leave right now, I can catch them before they move on.”

“They could be dead by now if they even existed to begin with.” Lucille retorted. “And then what do you do when you find them? You have nothing to barter with, so just stop.”

“I will figure it out.” He insisted, grabbing the bag he had put all his stuff for the journey in, but she cut him off, raising her voice, telling him to stop and Anna, still sat on the bed, looked at her feet.

“I have something to tell you. Anna, could you go upstairs, for a moment? I need to talk with your dad.” The young girl nodded, and hopped off the bed, and going upstairs. She stayed in her old room for about half an hour, going through her diaries and looking at toys lying there and pictures. Before leaving, her dad came to hug her and promised to come back quickly but Anna was scared he wouldn’t and she went back to her mom, who tried explaining to her that even if he did come back with the bags and things needed for her treatment, she wouldn’t make it. He just didn’t want to give up. There were a lot of crying and tears from Anna who didn’t want to lose her mom but then a few days passed, and then a couple weeks during which Anna took care of her mother the best she could but her health was declining more rapidly without her treatment. She was very weak and tired all the time so Anna would read her books and cuddle with her until one day, Lucille asked her to take some of the food in the basement and go upstairs to wait for the return of her dad, telling her she wanted to be alone as she was extremely tired. Anna didn’t know what to do so she gave a big hug to her mom, gathered her things and went upstairs, as requested. The girl was growing even more scared of ending up alone as time went by and her dad didn’t come home. After a few days, she decided to go check on her mom. She had realized she forgot to take her father’s jacket with her and went to get it. As she stood by the door, she read a message her mom had written on it but didn’t understand what she meant so she knocked timidly.

“Mom? Sorry, I- I forgot dad’s jacket. Can I come in?” She waited, almost holding her breath and put her ear against the door. There was no noise, just complete silence so she opened the door and walked in on her mother, sitting in bed, one hand cuffed to the bed frame and a plastic bag taped over her head. “Mom?” She stared at her, her eyes getting teary. She stepped towards her to take off the bag but immidietaly backtracked when her mom let out a death rattle and her head slowly rose. When she groaned at Anna, trying to get at her with her other arm, the young girl screamed and then started to sob hysterically. She stepped back, slipping on something on the floor and fell, begging her mom to stop. She didn’t want to face it. Her mother had had enough and killed herself and came back as one of these monsters she heard outside but it was so traumatic to see for her. She managed to get back on her feet, took the leather jacket and ran out, covering her ears, letting out sharp cries. She ran upstairs and went to hide in her room. It had only been a few weeks that her dad was gone and she was scared she was going to die alone in this house, but she was too fearful to go out on her own. She waited there, under her bed, curled up, clutching onto her dad’s jacket, only daring to come out when she was getting hungry, but she quickly ran out of the little food left.

Weeks later, her stomach was hurting from not eating and she woke up under her bed, almost jumping, hitting her head to the bed when she heard the door open and a voice rise in the house. She was still a bit sleepy and didn’t recognize the voice so she stayed hidden, burying her face in the jacket and crying, like she would do every day since she found her mother turned into a monster. She hoped that whoever came into their house wouldn’t search it because they would find her, and she didn’t want to be killed but when she clearly identified her dad’s voice, coming up from the basement, calling her name as he walked around the house and came to her room, she stopped her crying, sniffing slightly and came out of under the bed.

“Oh, my god…Oh, Anna… baby…” He immidietaly fell to his knees and drew her into a tight hug, holding onto her as if his life depended on it.

“Dad…” She sobbed. “Mom… she…”

“I know. I know, apple pie… it’s gonna be all right, I’m here. Shh, shh, it’s all right…” He caressed her hair, rocking her in his arms, stroking her back, trying to calm her down and comfort her but he knew that after witnessing her mother in such a state and spending weeks alone, she wasn’t going to forget it at the snap of a finger. His daughter would be left traumatized from the death of her mother. “Hey, hey, hey… look at me.” She tried getting a hold of her crying as he held her face in his hands. “We’re leaving, okay? Together. It’s you and me from now on, all right? You gotta stay close to me, and do what I tell you, okay?”

“Okay.” She said, in a shaky voice. He then had his daughter grab an old school bag, telling her to take a few things and as night fell outside, she accompanied him to the fence, where equipped with pliers, he cut a long end of the barbed wire stretched above the fence and wrapped it around a bat he had with him. Anna had no idea where he got that baseball bat, but that didn't matter. Her mother was dead and now, it was only her and her father against the world. The two of them against the monsters. He told her to stay right by the door, outside and he came out of the house coming up in flame a couple minutes later. She was silently crying, following him to his motorcycle and sat behind him, holding onto him.

They drove for a while and he pulled up next to an old bar and got off the vehicle. He turned to his daughter.

“Hide here, keep quiet and stay out of sight, you hear me? Don’t come out until I come for you.” She nervously nodded and she crouched in the shadow of the motorcycle, looking around, holding her breath, watching her father walk around the establishment. She jumped in surprise at the sound of a gunshot in the distance and closed her eyes shut, her hands covering her ears. She was shaking. When a shooting started, she pressed her hands harder, burying her face in her knees, tears rolling down her cheeks. This was a lot for one night and she couldn’t even know what was going on as it was too risky to come out and she was too scared to even move anyway, and maybe find her dad shot or something like that. It was her worst nightmare, losing her father now that she had lost her mother, and be alone forever. After a few minutes, the shooting stopped, and she dared look up. She didn’t see any movement around the establishment but stayed behind the motorcycle. Her father hadn’t come back for her, and she didn’t want him to get mad if she disobeyed and maybe put herself at risk, which is what she understood to be the reason of her having to hide. And she had no idea that she was going to have to hide even more in the future. Little did she know who she would see her father become after tonight…

Anna was walking around Alexandria, Adam in her arms while Alden still worked on renovating the place; staring into space, she was lost in her thoughts, letting her mind dwell on old memories from her childhood. She was young when it all started, and greatly traumatized by the death of her mother. Everything that happened made her who she was today but maybe some of that trauma could have been avoided but it was never up to her. Her dad fucked up. She was a child who followed him around, stood by his side but then happened what happened when Rick and his group came around and here she was today, with a son, in a relationship with Alden and pregnant with his child. With how things started out for her in this new world, she never thought she would have a family of her own, beside her father, whom she always fought for, despite hating him sometimes. It had always been only the two of them in the end and he was the only one who would never wish her harm while everyone could one day turn on her but she didn’t really believe that anymore. She trusted most of these people and knew which would help her if in need.

As she walked, she came near the gate, opened as a group amongst which Carol and Maggie, got ready to go out and do whatever, she saw her father casually walking into Alexandria and froze. She was surprised to see him back, so confident, after Carol told her she brought him outside to live away from everyone else, and especially, from Maggie who still held a grudge against him. From a distance, she watched Maggie stare at him. One day, she was definitely going to kill him, and it coud only be a matter of time.

[To be continued…]

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Published (11/13/2022) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405 @kika64

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