#tw: unhealthy environment

[heirbane]

feel free to ignore if you’ve already talked about this before, but i was running prae recently and it got me curious about gaius’s feelings on livia / nero / rhitahtyn? or the xivth in general. :>

i have been roosting on this for. weeks? months? because i have Thoughts and not a lot of them are popular probably lol. long long post below. so!

Livia and Lucia lived with Gaius after they were orphaned. The wiki gives like one sentence to say they were separated, but there's no linked proof. For the purposes of my canon, Lucia and Livia are identical twins, and fell into Gaius' custody around the age of nine or ten. (Mayhaps they had intended to separate them, but doing so to people so obviously two halves of one soul, as twins are oft believed to be, was cruel.)

Livia and Lucia were Gaius' first children. He was 39 and had spent twenty five years in the military already, a feat both telling of his ability and his early enlistment. Those who made it to twenty summers in the military had their futures financially secured for them. Gaius would never want for anything, and he now felt that he could offer himself up as a mentor figure to those younger... because as a child who had raised himself and had grown up in the military, he believed that all children needed was a safe home, plentiful meals, and education. His coin could provide all of those things.

Gaius scarcely remembered being ten years old. Not from lack of trying but from purposeful forgetfulness, a merciful omission made by his subconscious to truly forget the half-dozen winters spent trying to relieve his mother of her grief and fending for himself. He thinks he remembers being lonely, and cold, and scared. That, he thinks, he can avoid with the twins, even while he's on a tour of duty. He is so resplendently well-off and respected that the girls could attend private lessons and be dressed in the warmest coats.

(Providing the essentials - even to a level bordering on excessive, or stifling - is not a love children need. His first daughters were no better off than he at ten: they may have been clothed, in classes, and being raised by one of the military's finest, but they were still cripplingly alone. It is a knife he had handed all of his children, something he doesn't feel the blade of for over a dozen years.)

Livia was desperately, horridly lonely. Even before the death of her parents, she did not receive the amount of attention and love that she felt she needed. Her parents attention had always been split between her and her sister, and - as is often the case in multiple child households - Lucia was often seen as the more proper daughter. Upon their demise, Livia was left with a flurry of emotions she had yet to truly acknowledge and decode as one would growing up. Without a proper parent to idealize and a healthy, consistent environment to grow up in, Livia gorged herself on any and all attention, no matter how uncouth or unhinged. All attention was good attention.

She idolized Gaius to a suffocating degree. After her parents died, it seemed as if he swooped in and brought them into gilded luxury: she had everything she could have ever desired... but somehow - ... she still felt empty. But she felt loved and seen whenever he was home. She didn't know what she wanted, nor did she have the maturity to know there was a what: she simply wanted whatever scraps of affection he would offer... and never quite grew out of that. Trauma and emotional neglect is a bear trap one does not get free from on their own. Unfortunately, Livia was very much alone.

Lucia fled Garlemald at sixteen. Both girls were enrolled in the military at fifteen - one more willing than the other. Livia made leaps and bounds in a short few years, clawing her way to fight at Gaius' side, where she believed she belonged. Lucia focused on espionage, and used her adopted father's name to her advantage... and fled. Livia never saw Lucia after that, and died not knowing if her sister had ever found what she had sought in the savage lands.

Rhitahtyn, by comparison, was decidedly more a younger brother than son. A half dozen years his junior, Rhitahtyn entered the military not long after Gaius turned twenty-four. Not long after, Rhitahtyn was assigned to Gaius' very first platoon of soldiers ... as those from conquered lands were oft used as a new General's testing group.

Rhitahtyn and other Roe folk often used their native tongue to chitchat when in the barracks or otherwise not under the direct eye of Garlemald... or when they believed their superior to be ignorant of the language. Gaius had been in the military over a decade by the time they crossed paths and had chosen to learn the basics of the tongues spoken by those under his command. Needless to say, Rhitahtyn had choice words for his leader. (Needless to say, Gaius had his own in return. The floors of the platoon's bedquarters would never be nearly as clean as the Roe had made them that night as punishment.)

Despite the bad foot they got off on, Gaius saw promise in the younger man. He remained level-headed no matter the confrontation, already had years of work behind him as a mercenary, and had a sharp wit to boot. As time went on, their footing became less uneven, and Gaius began to see him as a peer instead of a recruit. Time and time again, he chose Rhi to be at his side, much like Nero and Livia.

Rhi knew the rest of Gaius' children. He met all of the Au Ri from Terncliff: he knew the Garlean orphans the man sponsored care for. They all came to see the Roe in a similar light to Gaius, despite the wide age gap between himself and them: to his children, Rhi was but another sibling. (It was Alphonse, still losing baby teeth and learning how Garlean names worked, who stumbled over Rhitahtyn's name enough that 'Rhi' came to be. Only the children dubbed him so. It was not a name Gaius would ever admit to using.)

As it is in canon, Gaius would not have sent Rhi to Cape Westwind to die. He would not have left the grounds to Livia and others. He did not believe the Warrior of Light so strong as to put down two soldiers he had trained himself: he had more faith in their abilities - and in Garlemald - than he had fear of the Warrior.

(As not many survived Westwind or after, it took Gaius many, many years to learn how Rhitahtyn perished - a fact only the Warrior of Light carried with them. He knew he had perished: he knew he had fought until the end. But to know that his brother-in-arms had fully intended to go down in flames with the Warrior of Light - ... to say he has regrets is but a sliver of the truth.)

In a perfect world, Gaius may have set up Nero with one of his daughters. In a perfect world, Midas would not have perished, and they would have happily co-parented Cid. Both Cid and Nero were born when Gaius was in his early twenties, and he sees both men in a similar light, much to Nero's disgust. A little competition never hurt anyone, and each boy's promise seemed to ignite fire in the other.

Much akin to Livia and Lucia, Nero is ... definitely the black sheep. While close to the age of his adult children, the man froths at the mouth when such is spoken, forever rushing to be great in his own right. Nero's sights for the future - his future, specifically - is both endearing and infuriating to Gaius, who sees his soldiers as part of a larger whole.

Unfortunately, no matter how infuriating or offbeat he is, Nero is a genius... but would have still come up short, had Cid stayed in Garlemald. Gaius knows this. Nero knows this, and he will fight until he is near dead to get out of the shadow Cid left behind by simply existing.

(Nero does not know why the shadow remains. He does not know why Gaius is soft-hearted for Cid, or why his voice is so fond for Midas. His relationship with the scientist is a secret only two other people were privy to: Midas' wife, and Cid. By the time Gaius meets Nero, Midas' widow has long since disappeared from under Garlemald's eye... and Cid is presumed dead.)

Had Lucia not fled and had Livia been sound of mind, he does think they would have made a fine lineage, all things considered. However, Livia only had eyes for Gaius... and Nero only had eyes for Cid.

[shyfrog-says]

I wash the dishes. For three adults.

Every day.

I have done this for a year and a half with no exceptions.

I am listening to my stepdad try - voluntarily, I might add - washing a single meal prep's worth of dishes.

So far, I have heard clattering, slamming, sighing, and cursing under his breath. And he has been at this same load almost twenty minutes now.

And all I can think is, "OwOh nowo! Is this singwe sink fuww of dishes hawd fow you to cwean? That must be so difficuwt fow you! I'm so sowwy you awe going thwough that!"

If he had to do everything I do around the house in addition to his work, he would never get a fucking break, and also he would lose his shit, which is why I'm hoping he realizes, "Oh shit! My stepchild's contributions around the house are actually pretty fucking important! Maybe I shouldn't get on their ass about the fact that they WEAR HEADPHONES!!!!"

Update as I'm writing this: He didn't even dry/put them away, and he didn't do a good job, several of the dishes are still gross and I'm going to have to rewash a few of them.

[rainbow-beanie]

Couples receive “parent points”, which they can use to purchase their children. Most parents wait for a few thousand, but you chose to buy the cheaper, 100 point child.

[randomhuman45]

Lmao being in a healthy environment and being able to take my medication on a regular basis changes so much

Bad dreams w/o this: dreaming of being physically tortured only to then wake up literally not recognizing family members or knowing where I am while feeling like it's been literal months since I've been in the real world (for only a short period of time after waking up)

Bad nights w/ this: dreaming that I was struggling in math class and had another roommate who ate my teriyaki then waking up thinking "That bitch ate my fucking teriyaki!!!"

Crazy difference mate

[hana-no-seiiki]

Would you do a second part of Damián x Cat!villain!reader? Or maybe something with a different plot, but I need it too much 😵‍💫

I don’t usually entertain part 2 asks but cause it’s you my adorkable Lucas, I shall. I’m adding the other boys and some wild cards for good measure.

tw/cw: yandere, dick’s part gives me major second hand embarrassment but maybe that’s a me issue, (implied) jason has seggs with your unconscious body (but it’s consensual). damian is aged up but still younger than reader hence the condescending way of speech the latter has for him.

ROOFTOP TALKS W/ THE BOYS

☁️ . . . w/ Dickie Boi

When you were dating it was a lot of you flirting and him asking you to be a bit more professional. And then you promptly reminding him that your profession is being a thief.

And that you were taking that profession seriously by stealing his heart.

Kisses in the rain were pretty much your guys’s thing. As much as your cat heart hated being wet.

When he became Nightwing and after Jason’s death, you guys didn’t break up immediately. Just fizzled out. Long talks about everything and anything became short greetings and small talk until you two officially ended it.

Nowadays Dick tries his hardest to get your attention, he shows off a lot. Ups the romanticness of it all. Brings you all around the city for dates before you two chill on your favorite spot.

Dick felt great. He just spent an entire night out on a date with his first love, some might argue that you’re his only true one too. You two haven’t been able to hang out due to the chaos of life and Jason. But finally he was able to have you for himself for once. No Tim to watch you two through the cameras (he made sure all of those were unavailable), no Damian to stalk you two within the shadows (it took a while, but he managed to convince the big ol’ bat to keep the youngest occupied), and no vigilante business he had to deal with.

There was just one last thing. A kiss. (He wanted sex, to feel you around him again. But considering you two just got back into the swing of things he was willing to wait)

He closed his eyes, and leaned forward.

Only to be met with air.

And then the ground.

“Uhm. Did you just — I mean I know I look cute tonight and all — but did you just try to kiss me, Grayson?” You had only managed to narrowly dodge the action. A little amused by the way he’s currently making out with the floor, but mostly confused and somewhat terrified.

Dick groaned, of all the things to put him on the ground this week. “I thought - I thought we were…”

You looked at him, blinked a few times, and managed to utter out, “Dude.”

☁️ . . . w/ Hubby Toddy

Imma be honest with you. You two bone 80-90% of the times you guys meet.

The only reason that it’s not 100% is because of the danger you two are in for that 10-20%

The vigilante/villain lifestyle and environment isn’t ideal for boning 24/7 y’know.

The reason why you guys fuck so often is cause Cat Villain! Reader being the menace they are only has to remind Jason that he died a virgin for you two to get down to business.

The Batboys are obsessed with proving themselves/ a point in general after all. So you often play them like a fiddle with just a few words.

Aside from that, a lot of your rooftop talks are you being snarky towards each other. Jason asking you to stop risking your life with heists and you vice versa with his vendetta.

Which usually leads to anger fucking but I digress.

You two often snack on the greasiest, unhealthy food while together.

Sometimes you spend hours talking about what he missed while he was gone. Of course he already knows everything. He kept tabs on you and whatnot. But hearing you speak gives him a sense of calm like no other.

Cuddling ftw. Jason adores enveloping you.

He likes doing stuff that proves that you exist?? Like that you’re next to him. That both of you are alive in that moment.

“‘M sleepy.” Your eyelids were beyond heavy at that point. Jason wanted you to be up for every single round, and it seemed like his stamina was endless.

Usually you’d pass out and he’d just continue getting off using you but that night he gave you a challenge. Something about wanting to see the way your pretty eyes as he ruined your insides.

“Too much action for you tonight, kit?”

“Mhm.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll watch over you.” He shifted your body in a more secure position, wrapping his large arms around your form.

“Promise me you won’t disappear?”

“I’m here always.” He let out a deep breath.

As soon as he made sure you were out cold he continued,

“Not even death will keep me away from you, baby.”

☁️ . . . w/ Timsies Whimsies

Most of your hang outs are spent indoors

Otherwise it’d be you hovering over his shoulders as he works on his projects.

Most of your rooftop times with Tim are spent in silence, playing video games, or board games.

Sometimes you two would spend hours playing and voicing cheesy dating sims.

But sometimes you use the time to get him to sleep.

You two are very much opposites when it comes to sleep times. Like if we go full on cat mode here, you prolly sleep off like 70% of your life.

I really shouldn’t be writing this while I’m sleepy as hell shouldn’t I?

Tim had never slept so well in his entire life.

All he remembered before being lulled into dreamland was you singing, patting him on the head, and some laughter before everything went dark.

But now he wishes he never slept at all.

“Is this . . . an edit of us a kids—“

Tim slammed his laptop shut so hard he’s pretty sure he’d broken it.

You looked at him incredulously. How long had you been snooping through his stuff? How did you even manage to unlock it? He made sure it was inaccessible even to Bruce.

“I . . . I read this one fanfic . . . that we met as kids and grew up together.” He confessed.

Yes, Tim gets brainrots over [Cat Villain Name] x Reader / Red Robin fanfics. Could you blame him?

“Honestly that’s pretty cute and wholesome. The other things you have there on the other hand . . . “

“I’ll pay for all of your boba expenses for a year if you forget about this.”

“A decade and I’ll never look through your shit again.”

“Deal.”

☁️ . . . w/ Damie Baby

Up until recently your rooftop meetings have been an even more snarky version of Jason’s with less hatefucking more … hating.

While Dick is more extravagant with how he shows off. Damian is more on the ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m just this awesome’ side of the spectrum.

It took him a while to finally figure out that you being a menace is more of a facade if anything

And boy did it make him get a romantic boner when he found out

Like it went from you teasing him to hell and back to him turning the tables

“Wow, ain’t it past your bedtime, Damie?”

“Not my fault I can’t get a wink of sleep without you beside me.”

“. . .Ah.”

Aside from that you like roping him into playing games and basically all the things he missed out on being trained to be as an assassin.

He in turn does more traditional courting methods on you. Like buying you flowers, having slow dances.

Sometimes you do each other’s henna.

(He definitely is smug about it when other members of the batfam ask)

He often scolds you about reading so much late into the night…and insists he reads everything for you while you sit prettily on his lap

His favorite activity is running his hands through your hair as you lay your head on his lap while he dictates a book out loud. Usually it’s non fiction so that A) you’d sleep faster, and B) he gets his readings for uni in.

☁️ . . . w/ Bruce ig

“Hey, loser.” You purred, appearing from the underneath Batman’s cape.

Without a beat, he replied, “[Cat Villain Name].” and nothing else. He does not move. Doesn’t even make an attempt to seem affected by your antics.

“Awe, I missed you too!” You hugged him tightly and gave a pat for measure.

You were about to let when you felt a weight atop your head.

He was… giving you a headpat? Albeit awkwardly.“Who are you and what did you do to—“

“Treat them well.”

And he disappears.

Hey, wasn’t that your move?

In anycase,

It’s about time that Bruce learnt,

if you can’t beat em, join em.

[gardnhee]

can we start over? - c.yj

✸ tw/content. intentional lowercase, cussing, angst(very little), fluff, use of baby (only like once or twice.), reader is slightly antisocial in the beginning, not really proofread

✸ exbsf!yj x afab!reader

✸ note. yj drabble cs i love him an unhealthy amount

✸ song rec. start over - jacquees

you stood in a corner like the awkward person that you are. away from all the chatter, laughter, yelling, and horny crowd. this is how you liked it, you indulged in your solitude.

the unbearably loud music rang in your ears, the fact that you were standing just a couple feet from the speakers didn’t help either.

you decided to drown the ringing by taking a sip of your cup, inhaling a sharp breath as the liquid cascaded down your throat.

“…who hired this dj? music’s unbearable…” you murmured as you frowned at the dj who stood a couple steps from you.

it was fairly boring for a while, the music slowly started to feel faint as the stuffy atmosphere began to push its way into your already tight space. you slightly squeeze the plastic cup in your hand, pressing your back against the wall.

you felt trapped.

deciding you’ve had enough of this, you walk away from the corner. as if you were popping a bubble; like a puppy opening its eyes for the first time, but instead of meeting with a fascinating world, you’re met with drunk shit heads who can’t dance, let alone walk in a straight line.

���where is she…” you huffed, looking for the coworker who invited you to this party, if you can even call it that. it’s more depressing than a fucking funeral.

pushing through everyone was a literal pain in the ass, the environment reeked of alcohol, and the air was incredibly thick. you were starting to regret even accepting the goddamn invitation.

go they said, it’ll be fun they said, “fun my ass.” you utter a small ‘tsk’ as a man twice your size bumps into you, not even having the common courtesy to apologize. god, this is horrible.

you somehow ended up in the kitchen. sighing in frustration, you rest yourself against the counter.

“i’m going to fucking kill-“ you started, but were rudely interrupted when someone walked into the kitchen.

your eyes slightly widened as you acknowledge the person. your ex best friend. fun.

he was whistling along to the horrendous noise these people call music, happiness basically oozing from his pores.

he turned his head to you, looking at you from head to toe in shock, shock which soon subsided and was replaced with an expression you can’t quite describe.

“oh.. hey.” yeonjun waved, mullet drenched in sweat as some loose hairs stuck to his forehead. he breathed heavily, his once joyful demeanor now engulfed in…uncomfortableness? melancholy? nostalgia? it’s been so long that you can’t tell anymore.

he slowly made his way to the fridge, giving you an awkward smile as you bite your inner cheek and look away.

it was silent for a while, you could feel his eyes burning holes into your face.

“yn?” he quietly said, arms crossed over the open fridge door. he looked at you, waiting for a response.

in all honesty, he didn’t expect one. at least not after ghosting you completely and then coming back a couple months later like nothing happened.

he scoffed and shook his head with a sad smile, sighing in disbelief. he was disappointed in himself.

yeonjun shut the fridge door and begun to lead himself out the kitchen, “yes?” you replied with urgency, you didn’t want him to leave. not again. not after losing him for months.

he chuckled, looking back at you. “you’re…not mad at me?” he asked, feet moving in your direction. he realized you aren’t so closed off anymore, you’re more…awake, as if you’ve come to terms with the gravity of things, and for that, he’s thankful. he can make things right now.

you grew nervous, a prominent lump built up in your throat, making it difficult for you to breathe. “i wouldn’t say i am - or was - mad, i guess i..“ you stopped yourself as yeonjun stumbled, falling onto you.

you tried backing up, but couldn’t. fucking counter…you thought, swallowing slowly as the smell of alcohol invaded your nostrils.

“yeonjun? yeonjun, you’re drunk.” you tried pushing him off, but he didn’t budge. instead, he laid his head on your shoulder, “not drunk, just… tipsy.” he blabbered.

it was silent for a couple seconds until you heard him sniffle. he was crying.

“wha…” he grabbed your waist, sobbing into your shoulder. “i’m so-“ he hiccuped, followed by a groan. “i’m sorry, yn, i’m sorry!” yeonjun cried, lifting his head in an attempt to look at you. you stood there, dumbfounded. heart hammering against your chest. he’s drunk. it was evident, yet he still denied it.

he peeked at you through his wet lashes, incoherent sounds slipping past his lips as he wiped his runny nose. “and you say you’re not drunk? look at you! why are you crying?!” you raised both brows in confusion, stroking his hair softly.

you’re supposed to be cussing him out for all the hurt he’s caused you, for leaving with absolutely no explanation, yet here you are, combing your cold fingers through his sweaty strands as he bawls into your shoulder. you’ve seen him like this more often than not; always manages to surprise you, though.

“i’m not drunk…. ‘m sorry” he hesitated, wiping the wetness from his eyes with the back of his hand. as you realize how close your bodies are, you nod, circling around him.

yeonjun turned, biting his lip. he wants to say something. you know he wants to say something, but he’s holding back and it’s making you anxious and impatient.

“would you maybe…want to leave?” you blink, all previous feelings of discomfort disappearing. “what’re you planning?” you question, crossing your arms as you sternly stare at him.

“maybe grab some drinks and then go to my place?” he smiled, which quickly disappeared when you displayed a doubting look. “i mean, i just want to talk to you…without all the noise…and the multitude of people.” your heart shattered, and you were sure your eyes softened, because his did too.

“fine.” yeonjun’s ears perk up, big smile on his face. “let’s go.” you nodded, grabbing his arm before he left the kitchen.

“i’m driving.”

“but-“ his eyebrows furrowed, “no buts, deny it all you want, we’re not risking it.” he sighed, defeat poking through the pout on his lips. he lowly hummed in agreement, walking out of the kitchen with you trailing close behind.

“home sweet home!” yeonjun exclaimed, arms flying in the air as the bag of soju dangled in his hand. “yeonjun, be quiet, it’s late.” you slowly grabbed his arm, taking the bag of soju away. “i shouldn’t have allowed you to drink on the way here.” you sighed, placing the bag on the counter and taking out the already opened box of soju.

he pouted, stumbling towards the little coffee table that sat in the middle of his living room. “bring some soju, please!” he slurred.

you grabbed the box, nestling it under your arm as you made your way towards drunk yeonjun.

you sat down, setting the box on the coffee table. “oh…i forgot to bring shot glasses.” you groaned, fixing to stand up when yeonjun stopped you.

“no, it’s okay. i’ll go get them.” he smiled, patting your hand.

“but-“

“it’s okay.” he shook his head, standing up and making his way to the kitchen.

in a matter of seconds, he was back, sitting in front of you with soju in hand, two shot glasses already set on the table.

yeonjun held the bottle from the bottom with one hand, and swirled it vigorously with the other. you watched him closely, how his hands wrapped around the bottle, you wonder how they’d feel on your face-

“yn?” you blinked, snapping back into reality. “yes? i’m sorry.” you gulped, noticing a full shot glass in front of you.

as you were about to reach for the glass, you stopped midway. sighing as you plopped your arm down on the table. yeonjun noticed this and raised a brow, “is everything…alright?” he asked, pouring soju into his glass.

“yes…and no.” you admitted, “i mean i just…i missed this, you know? spending time with you. i missed being here. i missed this apartment.” you paused, staring at yeonjun who was now looking down at his thighs.

“i missed you.” you leaned forward, arms now crossed on the table. yeonjun snapped his head up, quickly grabbing his glass and gulping the liquid down.

“ahhh…” he set the glass down, frowning as the liquid burned his throat. “i missed you too yn…” he smiled weakly, you realized he wasn’t in the right mind for all the sappy stuff right now, so you decided to change the subject.

“tell me, what have you been up to?” you smiled, grabbing your glass, tilting your head to the side as you swallow the drink.

“me? hm…not much….” yeonjun leaned forward, smile spread across his flushed cheeks.

✸ ✸ ✸

you lost track of time, it seemed. but you weren’t the only one. yeonjun, too, lost track of how many shots he took. not that it mattered, he was already drunk out of his mind to begin with. “baby…..” he slurred, reaching out to you as you gasped. baby?? are you serious??

“yeonjun what…” you decided to stop yourself, not even questioning anything that came out of his mouth.

after looking around for a minute, you groaned. there is so much to clean up.

an unfinished 20 pack of soju on the table; only 4 remaining, some snack wrappers thrown on the table, and a drunk yeonjun who can’t even utter a proper sentence.

“‘m s’sorry” he hiccuped, head lulling as he smiled like an idiot. his lips glistened under the dim light, most likely from all the constant licking and drinking he’s been doing.

“let me take you to your room so you can sleep.” he shook his head violently, backing up against the sofa behind him as you made your way to him.

“no!” he pouted, looking at you with tears brimming his eyes. “oh you’re such a child, come on let’s go!” yeonjun pushed your hand off his arm, whining.

you stopped and huffed, sitting down beside him in order to comfort him, “why are you crying?”

“i f…feel like shit” he cried, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. “why do you feel that way?” you knew this was just a drunk fit of his, but you had to at least hear him out.

“‘cuz i ruined my chance with the person i love” he sniffles, staring into your eyes with his teary ones. you blinked, wiping his tears with your thumbs. “and who may that be?” you question, stroking his shoulder in a comforting manner.

“you.” you inhale sharply, blinking in confusion. you shook your head, chuckling awkwardly, “you’re just drunk, come on.” yeonjun stopped protesting, defeated by his own tiredness.

you wrapped his arm over your shoulder, dragging him while leaning against the walls for support. “goddamnit, what have you been eating? you’re so heavy.” you strain, sighing in relief as your eyes find his bedroom door.

opening the door was one thing, laying him on the bed was another. you pant, his body weighing you down. as a result you slipped and fell.

on top of him.

jesus fuck.

you froze when he groaned. “i’m so sorry!” you scrambled to stand up, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you against him.

“sleep with me tonight, please.” yeonjun whispered, lazy smile spreading across his face. you shake your head, “yeonjun, you’re drunk. we can’t be doing this. you’re not in the right mind!” you faintly shake your head, “please?” he insisted.

you sighed, pressing your forehead against his chest. “fine. but i will be leaving first thing in the morning.” he chuckled, nodding. “if you want to get comfortable, my shirts are over there-“ he hiccuped. you nodded and patted his chest in understanding. “just sleep, okay?? i’ll be right back.” yeonjun hummed, closing his eyes.

you wake up groggy and disoriented, staring at the window as a ray of sunshine peeked through the curtain, making you squint and smile lazily.

you rub the sleep from your eyes and stretch, “good mor-“ you stop as you notice yeonjun isn’t in bed with you anymore. you look around the room once more, no sign of him.

a pang of worry and confusion washed over you. one would think it’s stupid considering the fact that you’re in his house, yet you can’t help but be alarmed.

what if he left you again?

‘oh that’s stupid, yn. pull yourself together.’ you shake your head and scoff, but the panic settles at the pit of your stomach nonetheless.

throwing the blanket to the side, you stand, yawning as you wobble towards the door.

“yn-“ yeonjun stops, doorknob in one hand and breakfast tray in the other. he eyed you as you stood there, eyes wide in confusion.

yeonjun blinked, “good morning?…” he lets out a breathy laugh, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him with his foot. “i made you breakfast.” you felt your heart squeeze at that. he smiled, walking over to the bed and signaling you to lay down.

and you did. you laid down, placing the warm blankets back on your body and smoothing them over in order to create a flat enough surface for the breakfast tray.

“thank you so much..” you gush as yeonjun placed the tray in front of you. he sat down, crossing his legs and smiling like a total idiot.

“you’ve been nothing but smiles since you walked in the room…did something happen?” you question, making yeonjun hang his head with an even bigger smile on his face. “you look so beautiful.” he mumbled, adjusting his position on the bed.

“what?” you looked up, cheek stuffed with food. he snorted, scooting forward and leaning towards you. “i said,” he wiped your lip with his thumb, eyes traveling to yours, holding them dearly. “you look so beautiful.” he chuckled at your expression, making his heart skip a beat.

“you’re making a mess, be careful, yeah?” you grab the tray, placing it to one side as you choke on your food. yeonjun stands with you, stroking your arms with his soft hands.

“hey, you alright?” you nodded, grabbing onto his shoulder for support. “it’s just…” you stopped, swallowing the lump in your throat. “you caught me off guard, that’s all.” yeonjun’s eyes softened, “i meant it.” he caressed your face as a warm smile tugged at his lips.

“why…why are you being so nice to me?” you stepped away from his hold, sitting back down on the soft bed. he sighed and flopped down beside you, staring at the curtains that blocked the sunlight.

“because i’m in love with you.” his eyes traveled from the window to you, “i’ve been in love with you.” you waver, eyes widening in confusion. “and i don’t want to mess up again.”

“so last night-“

“i remember.” yeonjun nodded, fidgeting with his thumbs as he bit his bottom lip. “i guess i was drunk enough to let that slip but not enough to forget.” he reasoned, gazing at you briefly before staring at his feet.

“it’s okay if you don’t want anything to do with me, i mean-“ you placed a hand on his, drawing circles on it with your thumb. “yeonjun, im in love with you too.” he stopped, shifting on the bed.

“what?…”

“im in love with you too.”

he stuttered, mouth opened for a few seconds before closing it again. you saw the glint in his his eyes before being pulled into a hug.

a long, warm, cozy hug.

a hug you’ve been craving for a while.

his hug.

you broke into tears, nuzzling your face into his shoulder. “oh god, yn, i’m deeply sorry. i’ve hurt you so much.” yeonjun ran his fingers through your hair, cooing softly.

you stained his shirt, but he didn’t care,“i missed you so much, you know? we stopped talking for so long. i thought i lost you for real…” you say between sobs, lightly punching his chest.

“i forgive you, dumbass.” he stayed quiet, you’re too nice. he didn’t deserve you, he didn’t deserve your forgiveness. yet you gave it. you gave something so precious to someone who doesn’t even deserve a single look from you.

yeonjun held your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs. he smiled, “how about this, you finish breakfast and then we can go wherever you want. i’ll explain myself. i’ll explain everything.” you nod slowly, grinning.

“there’s my yn, i missed you.” he quipped, earning himself a slap to his arm. he winced, rubbing the spot.

“is this a date then?” you question, grabbing another bite of your once forgotten food.

“hmmmmmmm” yeonjun tapped his chin, laughing as you whine. “yes dummy, it is.” he flicked your forehead lightly as you giggled.

you grab his arm, “let’s get ready then.” yeonjun didn’t budge as you tried dragging him along, “but the food…” you shook your head, “it’s gone cold, plus i know you’re somewhat hung over so let me treat you to food, hm?” you tapped his hand reassuringly.

“yn-“

“i’m not taking no for an answer.” he pursed his mouth, slowly nodding in defeat.

“perfect, where do you want to go?”

“how about…”

you both disagreed the entire way to the bathroom, laughing and giggling as jokes were thrown around between sentences.

you missed this.

you missed yeonjun.

he was willing to start over, and you were willing to let it happen.

© GARDNHEE 2024, do not copy, modify, or upload on other platforms.

💌: im sorry this is lwk ass, i hope you enjoyed regardless! please make sure to leave a like, comment, and reblog!! thank you 🫶

[can-ya-guess-my-curent-obsession]

Murdoc with a spouse that loves and cares for him very much?

Murdoc with a very loving, and caring GN!S/O

Authors Note: I truly did not think I would get a request so fast, but I'm happy I did

[Other note: sorry is formatting weird, I'm doing this on my phone, cuz my internet on my laptops acting like a bitch. But I really wanted to start working on this.]

Requests: closed

Edited: No :,)

Pairing: Murdoc x GN!Reader

Phase: unspesified

I'll edit the text green tomorrow, rn I need to go to bed... also I might add more later but I am tired af

TW: Kinda angsty, murdocs got issues, swearing, jealousy, trust issues, mentions of murdocs drinking, unhealthy coping, bad communication, if I missed any do tell!

once more, love? who's that?

This man's never met them in his life

But seriously like I've mentioned before Murdoc does not handle kindness well

He doesn't think highly of people and often think they have bad intentions

So he often thinks people are either using kindness as some underhanded tactic

Or that their stupid cuz their nice

I feel like a broken record at this point but Murdoc was not raised in a environment that fostered an environment that encouraged him to care for others, it was kinda a man eat man world, and it made him very self centered

So he has a very hard time grasping at the idea of caring for anyone else but himself

And again same goes with being nice, in his world being nice got him no where so in his eyes those who are nice are incompetent

But either way nice people, caring people, love- make him mega uncomfortable and nervous

So his S/O like I've said in past he's break down some walls

when his S/O starts being real loving and caring at the start of the relationship, it honestly sets off alarmbells for him

He thinks your up to something your not, he's just paranoid

but another part of him soaks it up like a sponge

inflating his already inflated ego

he'll soak up praise and let you be as caring as you want, he's being treated like he deserves in his mind

that's until the voice inside his head starts spreading the little seeds of doubt

his trust issues bubbling up as your love is seeming more unconditional

It's unnerving really, people usually start acting less nice by now...

Your care is making him uneasy

And he'll cope at the start by making fun of you teasing you, and he has the tendency to take things to far at times

He can become aggressive if you make him feel too vulnerable too early in the relationship

it takes time for him to get used to more genuine love

He can't handle romantic or genuine intimacy

It scares him :(

So he copes HARD

Like it's sad to watch

Ways he copes: he thinks you doing things for him is you coming on to him, make fun of you if you say you love him, praise is met with teasing, ect

He doesn't nesisarly not like it, in fact if you stopped he'd get into his own head even more

And there is no short term solution, you just need to be patient and carful, he needs understanding and time

This is probably the first genuine relationship in his life

His relationship experience is mostly hook ups and hollow relationships that never lasted long

This is new and intimidating

The the shitty part is that he doesn't let you know that

His communication skills are trash and is scared to express his true feelings

Your kinda left to figure it out yourself(which isn't that much of an issue, it's obvious to his S/O that he has these issues with how he acts.

It's all about how you approach it, patience is key

As you break down these walls by continuously being there for him when he needs you, when his self destructive behavior gets the better of him

And he ends up piss drunk, hung over in the winnebago, relying on you to take care of him

It with times like these his trust in you grows and the more vulnerable he allows himself to be infront of you

And at some point you'll get their with all the walls broken(for you at least, he ain't letting anyone one else see him vulnerable)

And he'll be a greedy little bastard with your love

Honestly, your love turns him into a bit of a attention whore

But that comes at the price at him being intently jealous

Since a lot of walls had to come down at this point and Murdoc is generally just a very jealous person, he doesn't react well to what he perceives as someone receiving love that is ment for him

Acts like a piss baby, and saunters over and try and take the attention away from that insignificant person and on to him

He'll try and get you away from the person in a way that probably makes him look like a total dick and or if his actions get him in trouble or he can't separate you from the person he just pouts and whines as he attempts to get your attention

Once this man has S/O's love, I don't think he could live without it

"Love could you repeat that for me?" "I love you?" "Yeah, just like that, say it again?"

[animeyanderelover]

Yandere ciel and alois and ash. And also sebastian with reader that is extremely fragile? Like even a single punch from a child could hurt them. But reader still tries to make it up by always hugging them, patting them and sometimes letting them sleep on his lap whenever they are mad, sad or angry? (Sorry! For making a second request! I really loves this blog so 😭😭😭)

I did something very similar with Ciel and Sebastian before in this post. So for those two, the Hc's are significantly shorter as I only focused on the part of s/o being affectionate.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, overprotecting behavior, isolation, abduction

S/o is extremely fragile

Ciel Phantomhive

☕ Physical affection is not something the young lord is used to, at least not since the day his parents died. His experience with the cult who wanted to sacrifice him in order to summon a demon have made him wary of touches as countless human rights and boundaries were taken away from him and even if he is slowly recovering from the trauma of that night, now he is the new Earl so he needs to keep his public image in mind. Normally no one is allowed to touch him but he makes exceptions for his darling, although he'd like to keep it subtle in public. Truth be told, he tends to get flustered when they hug him or pet his head and as someone who likes the feeling of being in control, he isn't a fan of seeing his composure faltering. Not to mention the teasing of Sebastian and the gushing of the other servants. Ciel is lenient though, considering that he is already restricting you enough due to your fragile body. If this makes you happy and is one of the very few things he deems as safe, Ciel doesn't see the need to forbid it too.

Sebastian Michaelis

🐈‍⬛ Sebastian is quite aggressive when it comes to his mate. The urge to keep his mate safe and protected is a primal desire, an instinct that brings something animalistic out of him. Whilst he keeps you isolated to lower the risk of you hurting yourself, the demon still does his best to keep you entertained enough with things he deems as not too dangerous for you. A part of him can't deny though that your delicate body makes it at times hard for him. He's a demon who desires to mark and claim his mate yet he knows that he would only end up seriously hurting you. Closeness and physical touch are an aching need though, something the demon craves and is the main reason why he grows very clingy. So he basks in the physical affection his s/o willingly gives him like a smug cat. Sebastian adores the feeling of a pair of arms wrapping themselves around his tall form and careful fingers tucking at his black locks. Even laying his head in your lap, a gesture far too submissive for a powerful demon as himself yet intimacy his body craves.

Alois Trancy

👅 Alois is already the essence of paranoid, clingy and overbearing in all possible ways under normal circumstances but with a darling as delicate as you, his demeanor reaches a whole new universe. Seriously, it's quite bad. From the moment he finds out about your condition, he gets instantly paranoid and pesters you relentlessly to live with him. The very environment you live in and the people that surround you instantly turn into big, bad villains in his eyes and he obviously has only the best intentions in mind for you. He grows desperate fast as he begs you to just join him in his mansion. He promises you protection, fine food and lavish gifts and if you reject him, he's likely to have an emotional outburst where he might end up screaming at you for a bit, upset, angry and unable to understand your reasoning for turning his offer down.

👅 His blood boils whenever he sees new bruises and scratches on you and he instantly demands to know who is responsible for it. He has no mercy for anyone or anything even if it is really no one's fault at all. Everyone who hurts you, even by sheer accident, earns his relentless ire. Alois can't control his anger nor does he want to do so, in his eyes everything that harms you deserves to be treated like dirt under his shoes. If he figures out that a person has harmed you, he screams his lungs out until his face turns pink with anger and can't stop himself from hitting and hurting them in return. It's a terrifying experience as blue eyes glimmer with malice and wrath. Even non-living objects aren't spared from his wrath as he kicks the object angrily away when it hurts you, ends up destroying it on multiple occasions. Nothing is safe from his explosive ire.

👅 His paranoia shoots through the sky with the situation given. If you refuse to allow him to properly protect you and take care of you, an abduction will happen far too soon for you to even predict. His servants are ordered to retrieve you and he threatens them to not hurt you even in the slightest or otherwise they'll be punished by him. No one should ever harm you. He remains firm in his belief that he's doing the right thing, he is pretty delusional after all. Alois still throws a big tantrum whenever he finds a new bruise or wound somewhere on your beautfiful skin, it always ends in a big drama. Your accident proneness leads him to become essentially your second shadow as he's always with you, terribly paranoid that you might get hurt again. All demon servants are ordered to guarantee your safety and every time you still end up getting hurt, they have to endure whatever their angry master has in store for them.

👅 His emotions fluctuate strongly depending on your own feelings. If the isolation upsets you at times, Alois gets quickly upset himself. Your sadness makes him a bit crazy and any signs of unhappiness he tries to drown in smothering affection and lots of expensive gifts. The young noble is highly affectionate and at times unintentionally a bit more rough, especially when his feelings get the better of him as they tend to be very intense. He'd probably be happiest with a darling who returns his affection since it gives him a feeling of security and safety. He's cooing and gushing over his s/o whenever they end up hugging him or petting his hair. By sheer accident he ends up getting to excited at times which leads to his touches to be too rough and might result in hurting you in the process. No one is more mad than him though as he's throwing a screaming and crying tantrum. He's possessive of the attention and affection of you so often he demands you to spend private time with him just showering him in your affection and all servants are forbidden to interrupt you two.

Ash Landers

▫️For Ash his darling is his life, the entire purpose of a guardian angel is after all protecting whoever they've chosen to guard and dedicate their life to. The white-haired man has known from the very first glance that you're special, a precious and pure creature that has to be protected from a world tainted and filled with evil. You've become within one day the centre of his universe as his heart and mind are filled from that day on with the thought of you. Gorgeous and precious you. Ash is already very paranoid and protective of his darling, of his everything. Their fragile and delicate condition make him only worse though. Wonder and adoration turn into horror and sheer wrath whenever he catches the bruises and injuries littering your precious skin, he has nearly lost his composure in public a couple of times just thinking about it.

▫️The world around you only becomes more and more irredeemable whenever a new bruise, a new scratch appears on you, the most precious creature. His heart is bleeding alongside every new injury as the angel frenziedly tracks down whoever is responsible for daring to harm you. He doesn't care who the person is nor would he ever accept apologies and explanations that it was a mere accident as he stains his hands and white clothes with red blood, all in the name of your protection. Ash just knows that he has to protect you, to keep you somewhere else as he grows incredibly paranoid whenever he's on his 'duties'. Not knowing where you are and what you're doing, not being able to fulfill the most important task of watching you and protecting you is killing him slowly on the inside as breathing or thinking become incredibly difficult, paranoia taking over his body.

▫️The abduction happens fast as you're whisked away by an angel who seems terrified to even touch your delicate body out of primal fear to hurt you. The entire home he's made for you has been designed to not harm or hurt you. It is unbelievably difficult for Ash to leave you at all as paranoia fills his lungs as soon as you're out of his sight and makes it close to impossible to focus properly when masquerading as the Queen's butler. Every injury and pain you experience from that day on is all his fault, in Ash's mind at least. You're now under his care after all and he wants all pain away from you and every time you still end up harming yourself, he sees it as his personal failure. That can definitely lead to self-harming tendencies as his punishment but Ash would do anything for his darling so if they ask him to stop, he'd try if he realizes that his actions make them sad.

▫️Honestly, Ash doesn't even consider himself worthy of receiving any affection from his darling. In his mind no one is worthy of you, not even himself yet the concept of a mate still applies to him as an otherwordly creature too. He longs for more than just seeing and being close to you yet this desire is seen as a greedy sin as he should be thankful for the mere fact that he is able to see you at all. He's overwhelmed when you end up being so affectionate around him, although if you ever tell him that you feel sorry for making him worry all of the time he'd panic because you shouldn't feel guilty for this. He's hesitant at first as he's still not considering himself as quite worthy of your life but at the same time every hug and soft touch of yours has his body craving for more. It takes a bit of convincing from his s/o before he starts embracing his desire and starts fully clinging to you, needing more of your touches. The angel becomes pliant and putty, almost addicted to the feeling of your touches on his skin and your warmth so close to his body.

[helphelpquesohelado]

Inside Out 2:Happyshift Au -Fear!

This one is for @scn-thedog who commented all the way back on June 12 (like dawg i am so sorry )

I'd imagine they'd be like trauma buddies

Fear takes the general place of Envy’s role in the movie witch was basically anxiety’s right hand man egging her on and stuff. Joy appreciates fear for doing the things that she can’t, giving riley that extra push. Like, their combination created a dangerous habit making Riley's symptoms worse overtime.

The Disorder isn't just mania, at least that’s what Riley needs to learn to coexist with., it's this entire situationship with the other emotions in headquarters.

Think of when Joy and saddness were stranded outside of headquarters and the Jar incident from inside out 2. The general mistreatment of saddness in the first movie. That stuff build up. Workplace “Incedents” Like these or in geral trashy treatment leads to the distress of the human and other unwanted symtoms. Like Repression of feelings.

I’d say the key to good health in the inside out universe includes a couple of theses things

Healthy Workplace Environment Without the Mistreatment of fellow employee or bad working conditions. 

( Riley manages allows release of her emotions and feelings in a healthy way, such as going to therapy, journaling, In general the self-awareness for it all. and other healthy, emotional Outlets :)

External stressors are dealt with appropriately 

Among the emotions teamwork is key!

Coping with trauma and other mental health conditions adequately. 

We’re not going to delve into how trauma functions in headquarters and in Inside Out in general but if you are wondering all my head canons come from the work Wounds Beneath the Surface by CrazySnakeLover on Ao3 It gave me a good idea of how i should design that kind of stuff

Tw- read the warning that the creator listed of course ;) It is about trauma after all.

. Sure, joy Will always be in her monstrous form against her will but what adds too it is decreasing mental health. Witch I would like to depict as an unhealthy relationship and dynamics between the emotions, this is the basis for gained conditions such as temporary depression and other things that may be affected by internal and external factors. An Inspo for my au is Inside Out Neurodiversity a fic made by Transformersfan123 on ao3. its a series consisting of one shots exploring these kinds of ideas.

Back to Fear!

Fear would help the other emotions get riley on her feet and moving, although Riley's main motivators in this are joy and sadness. fear would probably catch on the the questionability of joy's plan, but he's gonna try to go along with it anyway.

 

And as always never hesitate to correct me or inquire about anything, it's all apart of the fun of au building.

[ctheathy]

Could you write some headcanon's where Yandere!Nine finds out someone else has a crush on his darling? 👀

Yandere Nine Rivalry Headcanons

Nine x Reader

Yandere headcanons

Nine/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Possessiveness • Immense jealousy • Trust+abandonment issues • Threats • Toxic dynamic • Anger Issues • Insecurity • Violence • Intended fatal harm

༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.

Oh ho ho~ no darling, you misunderstood when I said that he is already overprotective. You better wish mercy upon anybody who was foolish enough to even take a glance at you for longer than ten seconds in his eyeview. I’m not sure if you’re aware of who you’re dealing with right now, but I ensure you jealousy and bottled up anger isn’t something uncommon for Nine. He is already naturally suspicious of those around you both to begin with, but when it comes to you? They better start runnin’ or pray to be left at his mercy. Although he would have usually preferred to avoid any kinds of contact with other mobians around, he becomes a fairly dangerous individual if the topic includes your safety and security.

Nine is continuously watching you like a hawk, eyes carefully scanning over your form from a distance as he keeps himself aware of your surroundings and any potential creatures that could be considered a threat. He treats you as if you’re the most delicate being out there, almost like a fragile work made of glass that needs to be put in constant guarded areas. You understand his suspicions aren’t made from scratch, the environment you both need to survive in is quite dangerous after all, but the things he does results in you continuously walking on eggshells and causes you to keep your guard up far too much for comfort.

The fox mainly has good intentions when it comes to you, but he showcases them in a very unhealthy style. He tends to behave possessive and demanding, to the point it almost comes off as isolating. Threats get thrown left and right due to his shortage thinking and lack of care for the sensitivity of feelings. Though he doesn’t realise the way he behaves is almost even toxic in a way, but he continuously pushes you around as if you cannot think for yourself at all. He constantly uses his intelligence to his favour to try and convince you that you need his guidance. Even while realistically, he’s more dependant on you than anything. He fears for the worst in future occasions that you won’t have any use for him anymore and this is more than enough to put him in a state of pure paranoia.

When he finds out that you’re being ‘too friendly’ with another being that isn’t him? You’ll first have a lecture and scolding of his to deal with before the real hell breaks loose. Nine misunderstands particular circumstances real quickly and mainly just focuses on gut instinct, leading him to stressing himself out and beating himself up over affairs that could easily be explained and proven false. Because of the amount of trusting issues and disappointment he’s faced over the years, he cannot help but feel both incredibly insecure and jealous over the smallest inconveniences that happen to him. Which usually leads to him giving you the cold shoulder for a day or two before he comes by and regrets the way he treated you the days beforehand. But despite him being too prideful to admit this, we all know he is far too attached and cut up in his personal dependency to truly keep himself from staying away. He’s clearly angry ... But slight improvement over time is that he does tend to understand that it shouldn’t be taken out on you. Which leads to him growing especially gentle with you after he’s snapped.

On the other hand. Whoever it was that either caught your interest or had their eye on you, they’re absolutely not just gonna be excused. Instead, Nine would go out of his way to stalk the said individual for a little while ... Seeing if he has the correct target on his hands, before threatening them like no mobian has ever heard of before. If they end up pushing his buttons, they’ll likely end up leaving the place with a scar of their own or a broken limb. If they don’t agree to leave you be however? He’s gonna have to create a more ... Effective plan in order to get them out of the picture. He’d silently observe through the night when they’re on their own, watching them with a glint of vengeance and predatory insticts in his bright blue eyes, his Nine tails ready to strike. He’d wait for hours and hours until he’s positive he won’t get caught in the matter. There would be screaming for a moment, but only for a moment. If lucky, the emergency department and urgent care will be able to free them from their potential demise.

But the damaged state they would be in would rather make death seem merciful.

༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.༉‧₊˚.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I need some advice- if you've been on my blog the past week, you've probably seen some stuff about me and my girlfriends. I'm gonna kind of word vomit about it because it's still not properly sorted out into a cohesive narrative in my head so please bare with me

After typing some of it out, I decided to make it into 2 parts. Idk I understand if none of you want to take the time to read something this long though.

Also tw, mentions of SA

On February 14th, one of my girlfriends and I were hanging out over call- I had two because my first girlfriend and I were trying polyamory. I'm gonna call the first girlfriend mimi- and I've been dating her for over 2 years now. The other I'm gonna call fish- mimi and I had been dating her for only a few months but I'd known her quite a while and we were very good friends.

Fish lived with their parents still, in what seemed like a very abusive and unhealthy environment, so mimi and I were arranging for them to come live with us. They had come to visit us in late November-early December and a few days into their visit was when we started officially dating them.

Skip forward to February 14th and fish suddenly starts telling me horrible things about mimi- that she's been using me, manipulating me. That she was doing the same things to fish and that she SA'd them while they were here. I started having a horrible panic attack- like heart pounding so hard you could easily see it through my shirt like a cartoon character. I thought I was going to die. Fish guided me through what I should do, though at this point I couldn't talk because I was too shaken, so they were talking and I was typing.

I ended up leaving my house, in the middle of the night, in the cold, by myself, with a few essential belongings. I went to a nearby gas station and hid in the bathroom, hoping to get one of my roommates to meet me there and idk, get me a hotel or something, at least for the night. I could tell I wasn't thinking clearly and I needed some space away from both fish and mimi for a bit- but that didn't end up happening.

Mimi came to find me at the gas station and I was terrified- I thought she would hurt me. Fish didn't lead me to believe mimi would hurt me (at least not directly) but you have to understand the situation triggered my ptsd, in which I was in this situation in the past and the other person very much would have hurt me. Me and mimi eventually went on a very long and talked about things.

She told me that her and fish had slept together while they were here and apologized and said she felt ashamed of it- I'm a sex repulsed asexual and had asked sex stay out of our relationship. That may seem like a weird boundary to have but they both agreed to this boundary of mine with no problem- and then broke it. Mimi also told me they slept together the first night fish was over at our house, before we had even started dating. We'd talked about it lots but we still hadn't made any decisive moves or invitations at that point.

[aurae-rori]

MESMERIZER ANALYSIS!

Hi guys, Aurae is back at it again at Krispy Kreme, this time with a voacloid song analysis (woah!). So, before we get into this, here's my usual disclaimer! I have been researching psychology for a WHILE and I plan to go into it professionally (:O). HOWEVER, that said, I am NOT a professional, so understand that everything I come to conclusions about has been analyzed with some personal judgement, personal interpretations, and this is just what I have concluded.

This also contains a lot of personal projecting onto this song as art is aways up to interpretations, and I see a lot of my childhood in this song. I will be touching on topics that are implied through lyrics, and you may not see this song the same way that I do, and that is perfectly okay! This is my take on deconstructing some of the messages that this song has.

A TW FOR THIS ANALYSIS INCLUDES: hypnotism, escapism, unhealthy coping mechanisms, suicide, self-harm, depictions of abusive environments (as that is how I interpret this song), manipulation, gaslighting, dehumanization, neon colours.

So, now let's get into the confetti and fun wonderland of MESMERIZER!

I'll be splitting this into three parts: The part where I talk about the song lyrics, the part where I talk about the animation itself, and then I'll explain a few theories I've seen, as well as my own, adding onto the story that I think it is telling.

PART 1: SONG LYRICS ANALYSIS

“No thinking about real feelings

Are you pretending to not notice?

The absolute truths and your own heart

That's how the safe zone is shrinking

Prostituting your wounds

You give a feeble cry, such shameful conduct”

Although the song itself is quite catchy, cheerful, and jubilant, the lyrics are far from those things. We immediately start off with the idea of disregarding one’s own feelings, Miku talking about how people pretend not to not notice their own feelings and the ‘truths’ of their own hearts. However, this is hard to avoid forever, and their ‘safe zones’ (escapism places) are shrinking as reality creeps up on them, so they ‘showcase’ their sorrow to others. I think this is definitely a metaphor for how some people overshare to others and tell others all about the ways that they’ve hurt, which can be used against them, as this gives others easy access to material that could be used to manipulate them. However, there are also undertones of self-shame (which comes with trauma), calling their cries for help ‘shameful’. It should also be noted that some abuse survivors, while being abused, have relatively clear cries for help through their actions that nobody else seems to pick up on, which is also a theme in this song as nobody answers Teto’s cries for help. 

“I’ve got a recommendation for you, the ultimate escape

Eventually, you will be saved from being lured into sweet traps

Now that you can no longer live sanely in this world anymore

Perhaps pretending to know nothing

And surrendering yourself is the optimal solution”

This ‘ultimate escape’ that the song talks about is escapism, or imagination. Reality is too hard to deal with, so children turn to their own minds as a way to stop the pain from taking over. It’s much easier to live in a dreamworld rather than a reality where you’re being hurt, right? They say that ‘ignorance is bliss’, and they’re taking it to the next level here by repressing, ignoring, and denying their own true feelings in order to feel happiness. They escape to that ‘safe zone’ mentioned earlier within their minds. However, there is an irony in the second line where they talk about ‘sweet traps’, as it can be interpreted as the imaginary world being ‘sweet traps’, or maybe the harshness and certainty of reality can be considered a ‘sweet trap’ as well, depending on how you look at it. 

“If a bunch of flowers dressed up with words

Can steal one's heart, are they real?

To an event where everything will be tainted

I give you an invitation”

This runs even further with the idea of imagination and escapism, because flowers cannot literally dress up and speak in the real world. This is talking about how maybe the characters feel like they can no longer distinguish fiction from reality, talking about how fictional things can make you feel things, so they must be real, too. It’s basically saying that because fiction has such an effect on us, then can fiction and imagination be considered to be another form of reality, as well? However, it is mentioned that the event will be ‘tainted’, possibly referencing the idea of fiction completely overtaking reality. 

“Farewell

You're tailor-made for this era

With an appearance of vulnerability

Fooled by this truthful acting

Your heart beats so very loudly

Your extra lives are quickly being lost

Your durability worn away

Dodging matters right in front of you

You got your hands full just living”

This is where we go back to the idea of manipulation, and maybe even conditioning. ‘Tailor-made for this era’ implies that something turned these people into the kinds of people that would be easily manipulated. It is also implied that the two are hurting and explicitly stated that they’re vulnerable and easy to take advantage of. I would consider the theme of hypnosis and brainwashing to tie into this as well. They are more vulnerable to the idea of being manipulated and taken control of due to the fact that they are hurting and want to escape to another reality, and will believe anybody that says that they will make things better because they are hurt too much. They are fooled by the acting of the people that pretend to love them, who are really here to just control them. This is talking about the urge that people have to run away from reality, because just getting up and existing can be such a challenge. 

“You’re getting sleepy, a shallow hypnosis

Your head, your body are becoming muddled

No way, so many tricks?

Swinging a coin before your eyes

You'll become completely still

"This is fine," even you can be coaxed into shut down”

This is Miku’s part, and the part where she is completely hypnotized and taken control of. She ‘shuts down’, completely rejecting reality and going into the ‘imagination world’. She does not want to feel pain any longer and takes the opportunity to run from it, turning into a puppet for others to control and manipulate. 

“You're getting sleepy, a shallow hypnosis

Your head, your body are becoming muddled

No way, so many tricks?

Swinging a coin before your eyes

You'll become completely still

(coercion cancellation)” 

Teto’s part however, in the middle of it, fades out, as she does not completely listen to what the people have to say. She resists the manipulation, and it’s explicitly stated with the part where it goes ‘coercion cancellation’. She is actively fighting the urge to run away into escapism, and resisting the manipulation of whatever is trying to do so to them. 

“However you survive today, it's unrewarding everyday

You're already in a bot-like cycle

Continuing from the moment of inertia

If you have no luck, no hope, it's all the more pointless

If you haven't got it then give up

Playing with the leftovers is your fate”

This is just more stuff about giving up on the real world. Inertia means “the inherent property of a body that makes it oppose any force that would cause a change in its motion”, aka: refusing to move, even when force is put upon something. I would say ‘inertia’ is a synonym for birth or consciousness, because it’s talking about how even from the moment that you are born that you are stuck in a cycle of endless pain in reality. This part is basically talking about why you should give up on reality entirely and simply live in the worlds of your own creation, running away into escapism and disregarding the real world in favor of not feeling pain. 

“You’re tailor-made for this era

With an appearance of vulnerability

Fooled by this truthful acting

Your heart beats so very loudly

Exaltation has already lost its meaning

A fake charisma

If you stare directly at reality, you’ll end up going blind

So do it in moderation”

Once again, talks about being perfect subjects of manipulation. However, Teto speaks of the fact that the rush of joy that you usually get after originally going into the escapism world has already been lost, and that it is fake. However, she also mentions that if you keep on living in the real world the entire time, it will not do you any good, so she advises everyone else to live in your imagination only sometimes, but to keep an eye on the real world. 

PART 2: THE ANIMATION 

This is just a lot of things that I have noticed other people saying, but some tidbits about the animation include: 

This is a screenshot from the very start, showing how there are themes of hypnosis from the beginning. 

I believe it is also mentioned that the 13-pointed star that is shown a lot represents immortality. 

Also, can I mention that their outfits seem almost childish in nature? I believe that this is meant to represent that they are ‘vulnerable’, intensifying the idea that they are easily taken advantage of. However, these also look like worker outfits in the way, with the yellow rectangles almost looking like name tags. It almost seems like they’re workers for a children’s amusement park? Which would make the horror aspect of this even worse… 

Miku’s shoes are rollerblades, which can be interpreted of her being more carefree and more willing to run away, because wheels are faster, and can also be interpreted of her being less connected to the ground/reality. It can also be shown in the idea that she is the more ‘childish’ of the two of them, being easier to manipulate, which is why she falls to hypnosis first. 

In contrast, Teto’s shoes look rather normal. Probably a representation of her being more grounded? 

I’ve seen people interpret Miku’s cuffs as like places for strings to hold onto during her later animations, which can tie into her being more of a puppet rather than a human? 

Star pupils at the start for both of them when Teto talks about an escape. They are clearly both looking for one. 

However, Teto pretty early on also does the ASL sign for “HELP”.

Also, Teto blinks in morse code for “SOS” during the first chorus. 

The first letter of all of these spell out “help”, while the fourth letters spell out “SOS”. 

“phosphoribosylaminoimidazole succinic carboxamide” is something that helps with energy metabolism, as well as DNA synthesis. I believe this can be a reference to the fact that many abuse survivors go through dehumanization, or it could be a reference to the idea that neither of them feel “real” or “human”. 

Also, at the end here, Teto makes another nonverbal sign for help with her hands. 

Miku is hypnotized pretty easily, swaying from side to side like following the motions of a coin. 

However...

Teto resists hypnosis for ten days, if you count the amount of times the sun rises and sets in this scene. Although, at the end…

Even she falls into hypnosis.

Also, their entire background is green here. Teto looks a little shocked, while Miku finds nothing wrong with this. This may be a green screen, which further emphasizes that the world that they are in is not real, and is only a product of escapism and/or imagination. 

Miku has never done this pose before, until after she was hypnotized. 

Also, it’s a good time to say that Miku’s movements here look robotic, or like she’s being puppeteered, with how jarring they are. 

I didn’t point this out before, but this happens earlier too – they point at the star, and tell you to “focus”, before “MESMERIZER” is spelt out really quickly in the star, at the very start, but not at the second time.  

As we start the next chorus, Miku’s face develops into this. It’s also noted that Teto stops bouncing for a few moments in pure shock. Also, I should mention that after you hang yourself, your tongue can protude from your mouth. There’s also a choker around her neck, and her skin seems to pale considerably, which points to the idea of a suicide. However, if she’s dead, what is puppeteering her? 

Also, the star at this point is swirling. It’s outright trying to hypnotize you. 

However, after this, Miku continues to dance, even after her part is over, and even goes off beat. The amount of confetti in this scene is increased considerably, as if whatever is trying to hypnotize them or control them is trying extra hard to make Teto give in. 

At the end, she does. 

PART 3: THEORIES 

So, what the hell does this all mean? 

Let’s recap– 

Teto & Miku are going to the unhealthy coping mechanism of escapism to deal with their lives, through one form or another, to run from reality. This much is clear. However, it gets to be too much for them and they are inevitably hypnotized by something or someone, taken control of, and while Teto asks for help, Miku gives in early, leading to the ending. This is all we can take from surface level. 

This is where I get into it with my theories. 

I like to mention the fact that these two feel immensely like they’re being conditioned by something, or someone, that they are supposed to trust. Maybe an adult figure in their lives. They clearly have faced hard shit during their lives, which explains the need for escapism. Teto is the more grounded one, and Miku just wants to escape from the pain. The first way that I interpret this is: 

Childhood abuse. Both of them are being manipulated and coerced by their own parents, and are finding solace in one another. Teto brings up escapism to Miku, and they do it together, creating worlds together and having fun at the start. Teto keeps on trying to ask for help to the people of the outside world in miniscule ways, but even when she directly asks for help dealing with her situation, she is still ignored and pushed aside. So, they then escape whenever they can because it gives them a feeling of control when in fact their own escapism mannerisms are a way to try and control their real lives but it doesn’t matter because it’s better this way. So all of her “SOS”s are for nothing. 

However, the longer the abuse goes on, the more they fall into it as their only method to be saved, and Miku eventually cannot handle reality, falling into the imagination world forever – that is, killing herself so that she will never have to deal with reality again, being pushed over by the expectations she had to fulfill in reality. Teto stays afterwards, however, trying to handle life, but is eventually manipulated into being something that she’s not, and kills herself as well due to the pressure. However, this could also be interpreted as a “loss of the self” as they either drown themselves both in the imagination world, or could be interpreted as the fact that they eventually simply turned into the people their parents wanted them to be. 

I can also interpret this in a completely opposite way – that the world that is full of colours and whimsy is actually a world that their parents have trapped them in. That they are being pressured to be happy all the time even though they don’t want to be, and that in front of everyone else they have to act like everything is fine even though it isn’t. Maybe they’re being coerced by their parents to never feel sadness, to leave all of those ridiculous things behind, to become perfect – almost like a Coraline situation. They’re pretending like everything is fine even though it isn’t. However, eventually, they get caught up in all of their lies and the fake reality they set up for themselves. They’d rather look at it rather than reality, but at the same time, they are being puppeteered by their surroundings in a harmful manner. 

Escapism. :) 

Second interpretation: they are working for some studio or something, which could be why there was a green screen at one point. They are promoting the idea of escapism to other people, but unwillingly. Miku falls into the ideals of their director and falls into the headspace entirely, agreeing with the ideals of others while they are forced to continue spreading this message in an almost dystopian manner. They are hypnotized by the person producing this message. 

Third: Maybe this is a story about them working in some sort of childhood theme park in order to escape their realities as well, and be children forever? This ties the two previous ideas together. They are overworking themselves to the point where reality and fiction are indistinguishable. Unable to deal with everything that she has to do, Miku dies, and Teto follows suit. 

Four: Literal hypnosis. Maybe some sort of horror story of becoming victims of some hypnosis monster? I like this one the most because it makes me think of a story where Mikuy and Teto were struggling, and perhaps made a deal with some eldritch being so that they can escape reality into their own fictional world. However, as more time goes on, the more the world that they’ve entered becomes twisted, and Miku falls to the being’s whims, turning into a mindless puppet in order to reject reality further. Teto, horrified at what has happened, tries to reach out to others, only to have nobody listen to her. She then gives up entirely and joins her friend. 

There’s a lot of ways to interpret this, but the general message is that people want to escape from their harsh realities. This is natural, especially if you’re a victim of manipulation or abuse, but this is also a reminder that you can’t go too far from it, and that there are still people waiting for you. 

TLDR: Escapism, slay! But don’t slay too hard, unless you want to end up like MESMERIZER Miku!! I love this song so much and I can and will elaborate on ideas. I’m really tired due to my exams so I am so sorry if something doesn’t sound coherent here, but thank you for reading!! <3 

[yandere-daydreams]

what would xiao fuck instead of his darling?

tw - non/con, psychological abuse, unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, and slight physical abuse.

xiao would still fuck you, but only in your dreams.

it's a fickle thing - trying to make love to someone in an environment as volatile and ever-changing as the realm of someone's dreams. if he wasn't an adepti, if he wasn't alatus, he may struggle to pin you down among the melting scenery, to capture you underneath him and take control of your subconscious while swallowing down the temptation to consume what he means to merely conquer. your dreams are the sweetest he's ever tasted, and it can be difficult not to dig his teeth in and enjoy the feast.

your mood is often as tumultuous as the landscape. some nights, you embrace him as a lover would, seem to forget the circumstances of your relationship and recall only that you have one with him. those nights are his favorites, of course, but he tries not to shy away when you're more lucid, when you know to fight him off as fiercely and as weakly as you do in waking life, when you give him a proper reason to bite into your neck and grip your thighs with enough force to leave bruises that you'll absent-mindedly nurse the next morning. it's more of an emotional catharsis than a physical release, and he does still find himself humping his hand long after you've both woken up, chasing an orgasm fueled by hazy memories of his name falling from your lips, your body convulsing beneath his. he knows it's too early to approach you in reality, that he can't risk scaring you more than he already has, but that doesn't mean he's not tempted to. that doesn't mean he doesn't want to, as he lays next to your sleeping body, as he imagines what it'd be like to actually feel you skin against his, as he wonders if your blood is as sweet as your dreams.

he can only be thankful that you're as deep of a sleeper as you are. at least he has plenty of time to dream of the day you'll truly be together, and force you to do the same.

[depravitycentral]

i just read the profiles for phinks n nobunaga and i have to say theres no way darling isnt preggo or anything

(HEAVY on nobu,this man wont 100% even get birth control ,phinks may get it if asked but 🤰)

Tw: mentions of abortion, forced contraceptives, non-con, kids/parenting, mentions of children being raised in unhealthy environments, the usual really

Ooh, I hadn't thought about this!!

You're absolutely right - with the sheer frequency they fuck you and the volume of cum they give you, you're gambling with fate. You'll eventually fall pregnant, this is true - except I actually think more Phantom Troupe yanderes would force birth control on you than you'd expect.

Of course, not condoms. But pills maybe, or even an IUD.

Most of them genuinely don't want kids - of course, they love you and crave domesticity with you, but they're not exactly keen on having a few brats running around, all sticky and gross and hogging all your attention. They like the situation you've got going now - you're theirs, all your attention, time and love going directly to them, and why ruin a good thing?

Plus, the lifestyle they've forced onto you isn't exactly conducive to a healthy, safe atmosphere for a child. The constant stress, stagnation of being in one room or home constantly. (And in Chrollo's case, the constant moving from one hotel room to the other, never staying in one place too long.) And while they all have mixed feelings about their own childhoods in Meteor City, most of them aren't eager to give a child another traumatic youth, like their own.

It just doesn't make sense to get you pregnant - but of course, certain members are more cognizant of this fact than others.

Let's discuss!

Chrollo, of course, doesn't want children. He's never been particularly fond of kids in general, and his possessive tendencies run so deeply that he can't stomach the thought of you having another outlet to channel that attention and love. It's his, he's worked hard to cultivate your feelings for him, and he'll bask in the glory, feeling your eyes on him and hearing your voice speaking to him only. It's part of the way he slowly breaks you down, too - making sure you're utterly alone, no human contact outside of him, all to make sure that you grow dependent on him, needing him, if only just to stay sane. A kid would fuck all that up - besides, he can't stand crying children.

His solution is and IUD, deciding that it's worth it to have long-term precautions against you falling pregnant. The procedure is quick, and although it hurts, he likes that he can fuck you freely now - he can come inside you as often as he wants, as deeply as he wants, and it probably won't take. (Besides, there's something oddly intimate about standing over you while the doctor inserts it inside you - Chrollo's staring with wide eyes, amazed at the way you stretch to accommodate the size of the appliance, all while making absolutely sure the doctor isn't letting his gaze linger on your pussy for too long - it would be a real shame if he were to get too familiar with something that is rightfully Chrollo's.)

Feitan is kind of paranoid that you'll get pregnant. He absolutely does not want any snotty nosed, sticky, loud, irritating little things running around, getting into things they shouldn't or stumbling upon his torture tools. He's always hated kids, and even though there is something appealing about the idea of claiming you and filling you with his seed, it's all in theory and not in practice.

He so vehemently doesn't want kids that he's even doubling up on the birth control methods - he'll force you into an IUD, and even make you get those estrogen injections every three months. (Is it safe to be using both methods simultaneously? Probably not, but it's been working so far, and you don't seem too affected by the influx of hormones.) He's not taking any chances, and on the off chance that you somehow end up pregnant, Feitan will quickly and swiftly do whatever he has to to terminate the pregnancy. However, as diligent as he is, there is one category that he's a bit lax - he won't wear condoms, even if you beg him to. He doesn't like that he can't feel you when he's got them on, a layer separating the most intimate part of him with the most intimate part of you. He'll always tell you to shut up, not really giving you an explanation as to why he refuses, but it really just has to do with making sure that he gets to feel all the warmth, wetness and texture of your walls - and, so that you can feel every drop of hot, runny cum he fills you up with.

Nobunaga actually doesn't even consider the fact that you could get pregnant. It's not a facet of his delusions regarding you, but simply something he just forgets about - he sees your future together so clearly, imagining you staying his cute little thing for the rest of your lives, and a child doesn't fit into that picture, so why should he bother thinking about it? He doesn't want any kids, if only because the dynamic he's established makes you feel coddled and like a child yourself sometimes, and Nobunaga doesn't want your attention to be on anything but himself.

But of course, with how often he fucks you (and the fact that he'll never wear a condom and he'll always come inside), it's only a matter of time before a scare occurs. It's only a matter of time before you wake up one morning sick, terrified that it might be a sign that the cum he'd fucked you full of a few nights ago had been particularly fertile. You'll have to beg him for the pregnancy test, but he'll get it for you, standing by your side the whole time you're taking it. (He might even hold the stick for you as you pee - just to make sure you do it right, you know.) By some stroke of luck, it'll come out negative, but the scare is enough to have Nobunaga briefly snapping back into a bit of reality and deciding he needs to make sure this doesn't happen again. He, like Chrollo, decides that an IUD is the best solution, if only because once it's inserted, neither of you will have to worry about it, and it won't intrude on his habits of fucking you raw every night. It's a perfect solution - he can't have a kid ruining the wonderful relationship the two of you have, and he's sure you agree.

Shalnark, in his heart of hearts, does not want a child. He has enough lucidity about his job (and about the way he feels for you) to know that he would not be a good dad. Maybe a good uncle, but surely not a fatherly figure - besides, having a kid around would mean having you constantly paying attention to something besides him, because god knows children need attention. And the idea of that leaves a sour taste in his mouth, a small pang of panic rushing through him because he cannot lose the way you look at him, the way you always perk up when you see him, the way he's finally gotten you to a point where you willingly kiss him and hug him. A child would ruin all his carefully crafted work, and irritate the hell out of him. Besides, he doesn't think he could ever truly love the kid - all the fondness and attachment he's capable of are already being fully utilized on you and the members of the Troupe, so the kid wouldn't exactly be cherished as they should be.

Shalnark prefers pills as his method of choice, but he's willing to be flexible and go with whatever method you want. (Again, aside from condoms.) He's just considerate like that, and maybe if you get to choose the method you'll be more inclined to be consistent with it and let it actually work. But if you do somehow end up pregnant, Shalnark would weigh the possibility of forcing you to end the pregnancy, or deciding that maybe this could be a good thing. The kid would be a good bargaining chip, useful in making sure you stay in line. Any threat against the child would probably work, convincing you to do basically anything he wants. It's an enticing idea, and one that almost, almost convinces him, but in the end he'll probably have the shot ready, giving you that familiar smile and telling that this won't hurt too bad, I hope! Really, it's a good thing the pregnancy isn't brought to full term - for both your sake and the child's.

However, there are a few members that would actually be somewhat okay with having a child with you - they're not dying to have one, but if you get pregnant, they'll just shrug and let it come to term, not taking any action to stop it.

Uvogin, for example, doesn't think he'd be too great of a father, but as long as you stay with him and you don't give all your attention to the little brat, he could get behind raising a kid with you. There's something kind of endearing about the thought - he'd be the kind of dad that would absolutely aid his kid in pulling little pranks on you, like spilling flour when you're baking or giving him access to finger paints right next to the clean, white tabletop. He's not a bad dad, per se, but your child will know how to incapacitate a grown man by the time they're three, so their childhood will be anything but normal. He's a fairly easy going as a yandere as long as you stay put in the house he's set you up in and you act loving and sweet, and he'll actually grow to love the child as well - it's still a bit deranged, but he does genuinely see the kid as someone to love and protect, and his feelings for them will be much, much healthier than those he harbors for you.

(Besides, fucking you while you're pregnant is a very, very enticing idea - he'll like the way your breasts grow heavy and sensitive, how your belly bump begins to show. It's not a fetish for him, but it makes him excited to see the way you're literally harboring an expression of his love for you, the baby growing inside you proof that you're his. The way you grow astronomically more horny during those nine months certainly doesn't hurt, either.)

Franklin, in general, lets you do pretty much whatever you want. He's mostly content just keeping an eye on you to make sure you're being safe and not doing something detrimental to your health, but outside of that he's pretty easy going. He'll fully let you choose whether you want to use birth control - he's genuinely ambivalent either way, because while having a kid with you would be kind of sweet, he'd be fine without it. If you don't want to take any contraceptives, he'll support your choice, though he'll keep a back-up set of pills in the cabinet (away from you, so you don't get any ideas) just in case you change your mind. He won't stop fucking you, though, and requesting he wears a condom is pushing his boundaries a little too far, even for him.

If you do request birth control, he'll set you up with some pills, being a stickler and reminding you to take them every day just because he knows you're forgetful, and you don't have access to technology to keep a running alarm. It makes him just the slightest bit nervous to have you take them, though, if only because there's always this lingering worry in the back of his mind that they'll somehow harm you, or that you might choke on them. It's silly and he tries to repress it, but he'll always be hovering in the doorway when you're taking them, one of the rare times when he'll invade your privacy in the bathroom.

Phinks actually secretly hopes that you do get pregnant. Because he's fantasized about having the sweet, perfect domestic life with you, it's hard not to image a baby in your arms, a little squirt running around with action figures in hand, seeing tiny little shoes sitting next to yours and his. It's not something that he's desperate to happen anytime soon, but it's a far off, whimsical goal of his - part of what fuels him to always finish inside you.

That said, Phinks will bend to your will if you insist on using birth control. He'll grumble and run the back of his neck, telling you that that shit can fuck with your hormones, are you sure? I don't want you getting all depressed or angry all the time. It's a weak ploy to get you to rethink, but if you're firm he'll relent. He'll only provide you with the pills, however, because he likes that you could stop taking them, and immediately it would be effective. (Plus, it's incredibly easy to switch out the little white pills for sugar placebos, slowly waning you off the hormones so that you're ripe and fertile and vulnerable to conception. He'll act just as shocked as you are when you hold up the positive pregnancy test with trembling fingers, though internally he's already debating on when to bring up the list of potential names he's already created.)

So in general, you'll probably end up getting at least some form of birth control; despite all their individual differences, there's actually quite a few overarching similarities they all possess as yanderes. Birth control and their aversion to kids just happens to be one of them.

Honorary thoughts about the women of the Troupe - obviously they can't get you pregnant, but even they take a few steps to ensure safe sex.

Machi has so many issues with intimacy already that she doesn't really want to broach the topic with you, but she's got enough medical knowledge to be able to preform something of her own pap smear on you, just to make sure you don't show any symptoms of any STDs or anything like that. (Though frankly, even if you gave her one, she might not mind too terribly - it's from you, after all, and even if you have one she'll probably still end up fucking you anyways.) She'll try to be covert with it, too embarrassed to admit to what she's doing, but you'll probably end up noticing because why else would she be checking over the larger area of your crotch if she wasn't looking for some sort of rash? Save her some time - tell her you're clear, and although her cheeks will heat up to match the color of her hair, she'll be grateful for your intervention.

Pakunoda isn't shy about making sure that both of you are in the clear. She'll get you checked out by a medical professional (in part to check for any STDs, and also just to make sure that everything is healthy down there, no growths or unusual happenings), and will be extremely transparent about what's going on. She'll tell you exactly what she hopes to gain from taking you in, and while it'll make you a bit nervous that she's expecting sexual contact between the two of you, the honesty is kind of nice if only because you won't be left to guess. She'll also get herself checked out, too, because although she hasn't slept with anyone since her last exam, having the results in hand might help calm you and get you more open to the idea of having sex with her. Besides, getting to hold your hand while you're both in gynecologists' chairs sounds oddly sweet to her.

Shizuku, on the other hand, simply doesn't consider that either of you may have any STDs. She's not noticed anything strange on herself, and the thought just simply doesn't occur to her that you may have something. She's idolizes you, thinking of you as sweet and something of an angel, and while she knows you've probably slept with others before, there's no way you could have caught something. So, she won't worry about it - she'll have her way with you without even offering a dental dam or anything of the sort, because she doesn't think you need it. Besides, even if you did have something, it wouldn't stop her from fucking you, and eventually she'll end up with it, so why should she bother?

[scourgethehedgehogshrine]

What would Scourge drown his sorrows in? This can range from Monster Energy to Moonshine.

TW ;; alcohol and drug mentions.

I would definitely say by drinking alcohol and a VAST majority of other extremely unhealthy drinks. He'd spend a night alone, chugging down drink to drink, as he gets drunker and drunker. Maybe even smoking a few cigars, cigarettes and blunts. Eventually he's found by Sonic, who's very.. Well, disturbed, worried and curious in some sense as to what made him THIS upset. Scourge would absolutely DESPISE having Sonic there, and would refuse any help from him, but that doesn't stop the big blue hero. Sonic starts off by getting rid of ALL the smashed bottles and filled up bottles of alcohol, including the blunts, cigars and cigarettes. Scourge is Infriuated by this, but he's so unstable that he can't do anything.

In the end, it ends up w/ Scourge being carefully placed in a safe environment, left to rest and be completely clueless as to what happened that night.

Lowkey I should write a fic abt this,,

[s4turnzbarzzz]

hey, i'm back!! sorry if this is annoying, but i REALLY loved your headcanons for donnie from my last request and I was wondering if you could write even more! i think i’ve always liked donnie growing up, i think i really just need someone who can balance out my energy lmao. you don’t have to if you don't want to, i just really loved your headcanons 🫶

updated request if you want to write more:

she loves fighting, loves working out, loud asf, short-tempered, blunt, sarcastic, cursed with resting bitch face, all that jazz. but, once you get to know her, she’s actually really funny and sweet. NEVER afraid to speak her mind, so she may come across as rude or sassy at times, but she never really means to be. DEFINITELY has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum. ❤️

im so happy you enjoyed my last tmnt mm post!!!! donnie is my absolute fave so im really excited i got to do another rq about him (i love donnie sm tbh,, its unhealthy atp)

Donnie (mutant mayhem) x hyper fem! reader

tw: none

youre both autistic so it evens everything out

hes done alot of research on how he can help you release all your energy while also maintaining his personal boundaries

when youre especially loud he communicates that and if its something you cant control hell put on his headphones and text you so you know hes not ignoring you but also keeping himself from getting overstimulated

he has a little bit of a resting bitch face too so he gets that even if you look upset youre not most of the time

hes usually pretty chill and is blessed with patience when it comes to you so its harder for him to make you lose your temper, even if its short

he will train with you (he just wants you to be able to get the fight out of your system for the day usually, especially if it helps you keep your temper in check)

he also works out with you alot so youre both pretty compatible when you train as well

he loves that youre blunt because it makes it easier for him to understand what you mean when youre talking to him

he struggles a bit with sarcasm at times but hes pretty good about it because he has three brothers

even though you seem mean, he knows that youre actually super soft and sweet inside and loves to death because of it

also a little extra because youre so sweet when sending in requests

he uses tone tags while texting and sometimes says them out loud because he uses them so much

you: "hey donnie i miss you"

him: "nuh uh joking"

you: "did you just use a tone tag while talking to me in person"

him:

he loves to listen to midwest emo music unironically, specifically the band the front bottoms

i headcanon that he smells like a mix of vanilla and sage with a hint of lavender

hes not a huge fan of physical contact but he doesnt mind it when its coming from you

it takes alot to get him overstimulated because he grew up with three brothers so hes more accustomed to chaotic environments