#tw: longpost

[nerdyblog8]

Hatchetfield Textposts (part two!) [Part One!] [Part Three!]

[More under cut]

[TGWDLM incorrect quotes 1] [NPMD incorrect quotes 1]

[maryland-officially]

Ok I'm genuinely confused here so don't be mean please. All of this is /genq /nbr

I have a dissociation disorder and I'm questioning plurality (I would be considered traumagenic if I am 1). From my understanding of systems, they're formed through trauma that happens before the age of ten. The brain puts up amnesia barriers and the child's personality doesn't form correctly, so multiple alters are formed instead.

Endos confuse me. They're systems that say they somehow did this without trauma? How do they fit into this? Like, I want to be supportive but some of the rhetoric I've seen genuinely pushed me into a panic attack once (it was a post saying basically you can just make headmates whenever if you want and for fun, you don't need trauma or anything which I think made me upset cos... Why would someone want to be a system and how could they view it as a whole as fun?? & the idea you could just manifest it out of thin air confuses me deeply)

I'm sorry if you don't want asks like this but you're a relatively big blog and I've just seen you say you support endos so I figured you'd be a good person to ask.

Explanation below cut because it got long ^^

Ah, well. Most, if not like all endogenic systems, are non-disordered or use that term.

Endogenic systems can form in many different ways -- we're traumagenic, but we're pretty sure there are some endo alters, and we usually find them by talking into the void of the brain and getting a response that isn't from somebody established-- I'm sorry, this isn't very helpful, but think about it like:

Talking to yourself in your brain, and then suddenly you realize that you do not in fact control the person/alter replying, and that is not you. That's kind of what it's like.

Think of a cave:

At first, you think the echo is yourself. And it probably is, or it could be. And then the echo doesn't say what you say anymore -- it changes it and it isn't exactly 'you' speaking. Well the brain is the cave and the echo is a headmate forming.

This is the way that WE know about when alters form. It's a bit like this. We/a member thinks that we/they're thinking to our/themselves, and then bam. somebody different. not formed from stress or trauma

I'm sure there are other ways this could happen,, but none that we know of

so instead of uhm

I've seen this diagram/things like it to describe DID + plurality, so I'll explain with this.

This is an adult brain

This is a child's brain

This is the child's brain developing

With this model, DID (from what I've seen,,) looks like this.

The circles spread out, and might combine into large circles between themselves but not a full one as the brain develops

I'm not sure how accurate this model is, but I've seen people use it to describe DID. This is a sort of simplified version that makes more sense but is probably less detailed

Anyway let's say an endogenic systems starts as a large circle -- though,, this might not always be correct and is probably not majorly correct, since brains take a while to develop (im so sorry if this diagram is confusing. The circles are supposed to resemble child's thoughts/personality traits and how they assemble into a person. Or at least i think--)

Well anyway, an endogenic systems would look like this in my brain:

A part of the person kind of drifts off into its own thing

And then it might turn out like this

Sometimes there's a piece that there's no way to know where came from. They just kind of appear. They might have dropped from the brain, who knows? It can be hard to tell.

These can be fictives, or other alters.

Anyway this is my take/diagram on how endo systems form. It's probably inaccurate, but hopefully we got it mostly right ;;

[entity56]

i dont think its often discussed how traumatic that delusional experiences can be

just the delusion itself. if its overwhelming and long enough it's enough to be chronically traumatic. like. i spent a full year or so believing my soul had left and i was rotting internally. i became obsessed with eating clean to 'heal myself' and ended up becoming borderline orthorexic. i was TERRIFIED of the idea of dying (without a soul there's nowhere to go) but at the same time I wanted to just to get it over with and 'finish the process'. i could feel my organs 'rotting' and 'molding' and 'squirming'. i could feel the bugs and maggots in my body and brain. and I was young, like maybe 13-14 years old during this... I felt this stress EVERY DAY. now outside of a purely fictional context anything to do with the human body, skin or diseases terrifies the shit out of me. im a hypochondriac now. like majorly.

sometimes, somedays, i got hopeful that i did still have a soul, or at least a piece of it, and that if i could JUST get out of my body, I'd be free.

those were really bad days. what i called 'escape attempts' were just paranoia induced self harm.

was anything happening to me? no, but it felt EXTREMELY real. i get flashbacks and delusional 'relapses' and nightmares. that year left a permanent mark on my psyche.

and that's not even to say the stuff that CAN happen during a delusional episode. suicide attempts, being mistaken as aggressive and attacked (SHOCKINGLY common), being alienated by the ones you're supposed to trust, the list goes on and on and on. and you're not allowed to talk about it because thats disturbing. thats weird and gross and bad and schizophrenic/schizospectrum people are crazy and less than human. and trauma means something ! that happened irl ! and those were just delusions it was all in your mind you basketcase.

idk. im rambling. i just know i got an untagged post on my dash saying 'There's mold growing inside of me' and am now nauseous and fighting the idea that that nausea is Actually My Organs Rotting.

praying for a future where neurotypicals treat us with more respect

[thankstothe]

when she brings up freud on the first date

[pinkeoni]

More Willel Mirroring: Textual vs. Subtextual Abuse

So not only do Will and El's mirrored storylines reveal ideas about sexuality, but they also present an interesting narrative about the different facets of child abuse.

Also, for this post I think I want to just want to focus on season one. There is absolutely subtext for abuse across the other seasons, but since the first season was written to hold on its own, it does create an interesting self contained story about child abuse.

TW for discussion of child abuse

This time around I am probably going to be focusing on Will more than El, because Will's abuse lies more in subtext whereas El lies more on the surface. And there are layers of metaphor and subtext for both instances, which I touch on in my sexuality longpost, although it is much easier to point to El's story and say "she is being abused." After all, this is what happens in the show as well.

The age and lived experiences of the characters does impact their perception, however.

An adult like Benny is able to look at El and understand that she's likely been abused, but young boys like the party who don't know any better think she's crazy. Regardless, it's obvious with El, a little girl with a shaved head who doesn't say much with no sense of privacy that something is wrong with her.

I think that Will and El's storylines are meant to represent invisible versus visible abuse, thus El's abuse is textual while Will's abuse storyline is subtextual. With El, it's hard for her to hide her abuse. As for Will, it's much more concealed. In Jonathan's words—

"He's good at hiding."

The inclusion of this line is part of what points towards Will's abuse. It postulates a couple of questions— why is Will good at hiding and what was he hiding from? Furthermore, I think this line plays into the idea of Will's abuse being hidden. You can't tell just by looking at him that he's been abused, at least from what we see of him in the show. And when you look at his story from a surface level, you may not catch on to this.

Gleaning subtext from Will's flashbacks

El and Will are the two characters that we get flashbacks for, and for both we see what their differing home lives are like. El is being treated like a weapon in the lab by Papa, and Will shares some wholesome moments with Joyce and Jonathan.

Because Will is not presently on screen for much of season one, so a lot of his characterization has to be delivered through flashbacks. Within these flashbacks, there is a lot that can be gleaned from just below the surface that points toward Will being abused.

Lonnie may not be on screen for any of these flashbacks. But if you look closely, his presence is definitely felt.

Flashback #1) Castle Byers

First off, Castle Byers itself— the fact that it exists, and the fact that it's so far away from the Byers' house.

We aren't given an exact location for Castle Byers, other than it's in the woods behind their house. But it's not in their backyard, that's for sure. We also get a comment about Castle Byers from Jonathan later in the season, stating that it's his hiding spot. Why would Will need a safe space and hiding spot outside of his home?

Furthermore, Castle Byers is password protected, with a big sign in the front that reads ALL FRIENDS WELCOME in big letters. Is it not hard for one to infer that Castle Byers is meant to keep something out? Something not a friend?

More from this flashback, we know that Will used to be scared often to the point of having nightmares for a week.

"Anymore" implying that he did used to get scared in the past tense. Had Will just said "I don't get scared like that." it would have a different meaning. The "anymore" is an important inclusion. Will used to be very scared of something when he was younger, but not anymore.

Flashback #2) Should I Stay or Should I Go

The second flashback mentions Lonnie more explicitly, when we hear Joyce arguing with him over the phone over not showing for visitation. Perhaps the mention of him here is meant to subconsciously tie him to the other flashbacks?

This flashback also provides heavy subtext surrounding Will's sexuality, using this line from Jonathan.

I think it’s very likely that Lonnie was abusing Will because of his sexuality. We already have confirmation that he was verbally bullying him for it from Joyce.

Flashback #3) Will the Wise

Will the Wise was introduced in the first scene of the show, but this moment shows that Will the Wise is more than just a DnD character to Will. He’s something he goes to in search of comfort.

In this moment where Will is drawing him, we see that Will seems a little somber. Drawing can be fun, but it’s also a tool that Will can use to express his emotions, both good and bad. More specifically, Will the Wise is fighting bad guys.

Could these bad guys just be referring to Troy and his gang? Or someone else?

The thing about all three of these flashbacks is that they sneakily hide their subtext behind more pertinent pieces of information.

We are introduced to Castle Byers which becomes an important set piece. We are also shown that Will has a safe space outside of his home and used to get nightmares.

We are introduced to Jonathan’s distaste of Lonnie and also given clues about Will’s sexuality.

Will’s drawing becomes a plot point later (used to discern El from Will) but we are also shown that Will’s has a persona which he uses to fight “bad guys.”

The Upside Down as Subtext

Here's the main point I wanna make that took too long to get to, the Upside Down is used to deliver subtext about Will's past abuse.

But isn't Will being actually being tormented by Vecna in the Upside Down? Well I think it's both. Yes Will is literally being hunted by Vecna, and at the same time it's metaphorical for Will's abuse by Lonnie. Some things have a dual-purpose.

We know that the Upside Down is a dark mirror of Hawkins. For most of his time there, at least from what we see, he stays in or around his home.

Will is, quite literally, in danger inside of his own home.

Here.

R-I-G-H-T H-E-R-E. Right here.

My most solid piece of evidence that backs this is this moment where Will tells Joyce "Mom, it's coming!" and the following Byers House scene we see is Lonnie pulling up to the house.

Additionally, we do not see any attempts from Will to contact Joyce while Lonnie is there, along with Lonnie hammering over the hole in the wall and taking down the lights he was using to communicate. Lonnie's presence literally silences him.

Does Joyce know?

Joyce's comments in the sheriff's office suggests that she is aware of Lonnie's homophobic bullying, I think that just like the Upside Down, the extent of Lonnie's abuse is something that she doesn't fully understand. But she does want to.

Understanding does require communication from Will. And unfortunately for Joyce—

—he's good at hiding.

Evidence from future seasons does lead me to believe that Will forgot some of these traumatic memories, although if I were looking at season one on it's own, I would say that Will is hiding his past abuse.

If anything, Will was likely hiding this abuse as it was happening.

[sadistic-softie]

I hate being confrontational or preachy and I've never done it before, and frankly, it scares the shit out of me because I don't want people to think I'm mad at them, but I just need to get this off my chest.

I don't have NPD, but I'm so fucking tired of seeing bullshit CPTSD healing 'resources' that use 'narcissist' as a way to say 'abuser' or assume that all abusers are narcissistic and/or vice versa. Like...I wanna heal my trauma without seeing NPD people being thrown under the bus and stigmatized for something they have no part in. Like...wtf? Is that too much to ask for?? My CPTSD is not because of someones or anyones NPD. It never was and never will be. Apparently this is a hot take, but PTSD in general is not from anyones NPD. PTSD is from TRAUMA and or ABUSE. Apparently this is such a common misconception that even my father believes it. He said, "it's because she's a narcassist" after I talked to him about my mothers abusive behaviors to me. So, yeah...that's an awkward fucking conversation I might have to have eventually?? Narcissist is not another word for abuser. I'm saying this as a victim of abuse. Narcissist is not another word for abuser. Yes, it is possible that an abuser can just so happen to have NPD, but they could also have literally any other disorder and that would't be the cause of abusive behavior. NPD doesn't 'make' someone into an abuser. People with NPD are not all abusers. Not all abusers have NPD. These things are not synonymous. You can not blame abusive behavior on NPD. In my particular situation, my family has fallen into a cycle of abuse type situation, in which each mother was abusive to her daughters, causing the cycle to become seen as 'normal' in the family, thus perpetuating the cycle. An abusers actions are purposefully negative. Even if the intent is not explicitly to abuse or the abuser is not fully aware that they are being abusive. Each individual behavior is done with a certain intent. Manipulation tactics are meant to gain power over a person, constant invasion of privacy is done to control a person, constant belittlement and agression towards a particular person enforces an unhealthy dynamic, unwarrented and or cruel punishments, threats, pushings of boundaries are meant to train a victims actions and mindset, and I don't think I need to explain why physical violence is harmful. The list goes on. None of these abusive behaviors are symptoms of NPD nor fit the description of someone with NPD. These behaviors are abusive, end of sentence. It has nothing to do with NPD. The following are screenshots from a simple Google search (literally bare minimum research) defining Narcassistic Personality Disorder:

I'm sorry is this post overwhelms anyone. I don't want this to feel like a scolding and I really hope I don't sound like I'm trying to take a moral highground because I don't wanna make anyone feel like they're a bad person or anything like that. I know my wording and tone in this post is quite agressive compared to how I usually am, and I apoligize for that. I also wanna make it clear that this is not directed at anyone or any group of people in particular. Also, take this with a grain of salt too, as I'm not a professional in any field whatsoever and these are just my personal thoughts and frustrations. I hope you have a wonderful day if you're reading this and if you aren't. Thank you.

[nori357]

so ive been playing ffxiv for like the past year and ive gotten really into g(gay)poses and realized i never shared any of these anywhere so here they are on wumblr.com, enjoy! ^^

[7m7n7]

lmao @cosmicjoke just curious...do you actually even believe what you wrote? or are you just that pathetically lacking in self-awareness? it literally takes an EFFORT to even scroll through how much you blabbered about me FOR DAYS, HOLY SHIT LMFAO. anyway, scroll away in this one i guess, since it includes some receipts from poor blameless wittle ewuwi fandom you're claiming is "mostly good" and just must be "defensive" to awful people such as myself :-(

Yeah, i said you woobiefied him (which is a degradation of character no matter how much you froth from mouth 🙂) and YOU wrote me 3 different wholeass paragraphs and in one of them accused me of sending you hate. And you still do, despite the fact i had literally no reason to do so. wanna suck up to eruri fandom that bad, huh? you're so fucking stupid and SO obsessed with retaining that moral highground you SO CLEARLY jack off to, you're even letting eruris who hate you using you to get back at me. who do you think those anons and sock accs you're chatting w are? "this dumb bitch comes at me with insults and accusations" what a hilarious sentence! can you write one sentence without projecting so intensely that you need to be in a mental ward?

"self shippers are so jealous uwu" OHHHHHH MY GOD LMAO. the fucking eruri rhetoric of GRAND PROJECTION. NO fucking self-shippers gives a fuck to eruri you absolute dumbass 😭 entire discourse happens bc eruris harass them (and other levi shippers) bc of THEIR OWN JEALOUSY holy fuck!!! how can you be so fucking disgustingly biased? and even though you know i also like rivaere and have no problem w other levi ships, you're trying to use me as a scapegoat to "prove" self-shippers are "homophobic" and against "gay ships" start discourse with real levi stans bc some of them also didn't validate your ridiculously awful levi takes apparently. even though you also should be well aware tons of OC shippers also enjoy or don't mind eruri, you're literally attacking people JUST bc they disagreed with you in a previous discourse, just like what you're doing to me right now.

LMAOOOO nobody's crying anything you braindead loser, and the only one getting "curb-stomped" is your pea-sized brain trying to generate a sentence that doesn't have five contradictions and failing pathetically. "if they just left a sentence exactly like what i had in mind uwuwuwu i wouldnt have started to froth from mouth uwuwuuw how dare they accuse me of woobiefying levi when i obv woobiefy him uwuuuwu 🥺" LMAO nobody is obligated to treat your fragile ass like glass, not my goddamn problem you're so fucking pathetic you start losing you GODDAMN MIND when someone strays a little outside what you deem as acceptable. i didn't throw insults or anything at first either, i just said what it is: that you woobiefy his character, and you clearly can't stand being told the truth. Once again: you %100000 woobiefy him and resent people who don't agree with you. the fact you're THIS vitriolic towards people (thanks for showing i wasn't the only one, at least!) acting like i tainted your honor shows that enough. you literally wrote a "call out" bc of one comment which YOU turned into a fight. you lack introspection madly and you constantly project, so ofc you're just gonna spiral into another fit of rage when you see this, but you can't fool people who are unbiased no matter how much you blabber on 🙂

Ohhh lmao, it reaaaaaaally couldn't be more obvious you have beef with people who like top levi. that's literally it. Do you fucking realize how goddamn creepy you are when you talk about how i must want to get "smacked around" by a man just bc i said you were woobiefying him? You're a fucking freak. You have no idea what i even like (since you're so curious, i enjoy a wiiide range of levi) but this doesn't have anything to do with what we talk, you think people don't woobiefy characters they like as tops? bc it's SUPER common in most fandoms. the way you immediate resort to talking about people's sexual fantasies is freak behaviour and shows where your true problem lies. and what does this even mean "what the actual reality of Levi's sexuality would likely be"? Do you think people who have trauma can't be dominant? "Assuredly wouldn't enjoy sexual aggression" Why, were you in the room when he was banging people? That's just your hc you're pushing as canon, AGAIN. You want everyone to act like their hcs are just ooc hcs, but they have to accept your hcs as canonical regardless of how much bullshit they are. There's this insane push against *any* top levi content from eruri stans which they dub exactly as you do even though it doesn't reflect the fanon at all, and it makes it TOO OBVIOUS what your real issue is. Lmao, an eruri shipper who has a problem w ppl who like top levi, what a fucking surprise! 🙂

also this is from that @p-ssypink imbecile who's also obv an eruri

stop projecting and pulling discourse out of your ass. "forced masculinization" levi is already a hypermasculine character in canon, you clown. which probably makes you cry :^) and what does this have to do with homophobia? you think all gay men are feminine? pretty sure such stereotyping constitutes as homophobia. anyway, i said "my deal is im in love w him" bc that clown said something like "your whole deal is your hate for eruri rather than stanning levi" i think that message was cut from the og. obv loving a character doesnt make anyone an authority. but "every eruri is out to get self shippers bc they're ego-maniacal lunatics who cant separate fanon from canon and only see levi as a smol bean omega bottom to be protected" Yes, you got one thing correct, congrats! :) 👏🏻 That's exactly how %99 of eruri shippers are like and anyone who has been in this fandom long enough knows that. But "to be protected" is misplaced, since they mostly get off on degrading and torturing him. sometimes they just like to pretend they have any sympathy for him since they've been accused of being levi haters since ALWAYS, lmfao, but don't worry, i can send you a lot where they admit that too. and ofc, the pretend sadness fits right into their agenda with that sad pathetic little doormat levi they want.

anyways. am i homophobic or are people who consistently emasculate a character in %99.9999 of their fanon bc they think being feminine or bottom is degrading the ones who are homophobic? or maybe calling him the f slur constantly, you'd think qualifies? you don't think treating him like a "little twink who's only job is to get fucked" is fetishistic and homophobic, is that tooootally okay for you? What about bullying and mocking people who think differently and forcing their hcs on them, is that fine?

"inability to top" hmmmmmm i wonder how do these people see t/b roles and why they're so aggressive about them 🤔

plotting to get a levi/oc video down....kudos on that courage to admit that on their main! 👏🏻

there are so many, this was veeeeeeery hard to pick tbh but here are just few examples. and no, these aren't just one off events or "bad apples" and all of these people are known eruris, and some have thousands of followers. you may accuse me of "making hating eruri my entire online identity" which is fine and dandy. but ENTIRE eruri fandom makes their identiy hating on what they deem is a threat to their glorification fantasy.

as a bonus here are some multishippers who love eruri talk about the same issue being so common as well 🙂

i think it should be clear why :')

and @jayteacups saying this nonsense, idk if theyre just playing obtuse but lmfao. some people just don't know mentality in shipping communities enough soooo

having an OC/self-insert have NOTHING TO DO with what im talking about when i criticize self-inserting/identifying etc with a character. and what i'm criticizing isn't even the fact they self-insert into a character lmfao, it's the entire toxicity it brings, bc through overly identifying w some inadequecy of a character (in this case it's obviously the fact levi's more popular and attractive than erwin that bothers them) they grow jealous and resentful, bend canon to alleviate their insecurity + derive ego wank and attack others who don't validate them. as a result, practically all they do is degrading levi in every way and use him as a validation device (and other characters too btw, just look at how they treat zeke) to make erwin come off "superior", gatekeeping levi bc they can't stand seeing him w other characters, even real life fangirls, both out of possessiveness but also bc it ruins their narrative where erwin's the "conventionally attractive" one. that's the reason for the push against people who like levi in a "hetero" way (read: Top, masculine, alpha, daddy, het, whatever bc they think it translates into "conventionally attractive" lmfao, and precisely why they love bi erwin but NEVER bi levi). and this isn't just against self-shippers, they treat every other levi fandom similarly, and these ships also get mocked as "self insert ships". ironic considering their treatment of erwin puts early ff.net mary sues to shame 🥴 they can't be honest about jackshit bc it ruins their glorification fantasy where erwin has to be the one that ship is all about. they're the definition of "have my cake and eat it too", they act like they barely tolerate levi just for erwin's sake but bitchfight over him every second with everyone, depict him as a one-sided simp for erwin, try to alleviate their insecurity by reducing him to a loser doormat while doing the exact opposites towards erwin.

⬇️ gotta be pretty self explanatory lmfao

^ Very famous and beloved people among eruris

despite the fact there's a lot of pushback, they'll still argue tooth and nail that women wouldn't like levi and would prefer erwin. Why do you think this is soooo important to them? :^) ⬇️ lol wonder why they want him to convince ppl he's "feminine" so bad! almost like it's bc they see it as unattractive and degrading! but sure, we're the sexist homophobes for hating eruri fans, right? oh and the white supremacist rhetoric also so common - bc i've never seen anyone refer to being blonde in MEN as a good thing outside eruri fandom - since it's a feminine stereotype. "tall DARK and handsome", no? :') But they'll use ANYTHING just to make erwin look better, so they're pretend it's related to generic beauty standards rather than, idk, fucking rantings from hitler's headquarters. maybe some other day i should post them calling him aryan, hmmm....

look at how they act towards even their own (rare good ones lmao) artists when they depict levi in a conventionally attractive way, they bash on it and call it "hetero" hmmm :')

Oh oops they already said the quiet part loud! 😱But going around shitting on artists and calling levi "erwin's submissive little bitch" is okay to you, right?

By the way, one of the anons cosmicjoke made a fake acc to come at me just now on twitter bc i called out one of the eruris calling levi f*ggot. Apparently according to them it's just no big deal, that's just calling levi "gay". :') linking it bc too many pics: https://x.com/emeraldsas77759/status/1801556666556559451

Just a small taste of what eruri fandom is like, since most people here on tumblr don't have a fucking clue. Anyway cosmic"joke", what an apt name. Now, you can puke blood all over all you want like the useless, pathetic eruri ass-kisser you are and write few other novels for my sake! don't get too comfy with those erwin stans who are now sending you their love instead of harassing you tho lmfao!

(^ bc they said levi had a bolo tie of his own and MAYBE he wasn't wearing erwin's bolo tie in the FUCKING OFFICIAL ART LMFAO)

"don't ruin the rep of our fandom they're not eruris uwu" Familiar argument, isn't it? :') bc THAT'S what they do, creating ungodly amounts of toxicity, shitting on everyone, intruding in everyone's spaces, then when they get even a little pushback, they start screeching like little rats trying to shift the blame on others. These are the people you defend when you defend eruris. But hey, you can continue to suck up to them, try not to step one milimeter out of line tho, saying levi isn't erwin's dog may get you death threats. Have fun, goodnight, good luck! 😘

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 4

welcome to the fourth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Flip by @icypantherwrites

A very important alliance hinges on Voltron’s ability to perform a Sambayee — a show of athleticism and grace — and Allura had believed she was Voltron’s best candidate. But the aliens do not want an alliance and set an impossible bar that Allura is horrified to realize she cannot reach. There is no way any one can.

Except, she learns, there is. And there is far, far more to Lance than she had once believed.

Gymnast Lance and Allura angst. What more do you need? Seriously, I love them both so much, and the fic treats them both with respect as friends (which can sometimes be tricky, but this does great!)

2. A Wider Universe by @spiralled-fury

Lance, separated from his team, his family, his home.

For them, it wasn't long.

For him, it was two years.

Two years of endless fighting.

New scars, new pain, new hatred.

And new feelings.

I don’t really need to rec this fic -- sixty thousand of us have read it. It’s the voltron epic of all voltron epics. BAMF Lance of all BAMF Lances, slowburn klance, MFE pilots with important parts to the story, and the best Lance & Red relationshop literally ever written. 

3. The Cracks in Your Mask by @chyeahlex16

According to Lance, he has a great life. A large family full of younger kids running around a cozy house, a stern father and a strong, loving mother, a large dog full of love for his owners, lots of space to run around and grow in the backyard. Only light and happiness, no tragedy to speak of. But this is far from the truth.

They’ll never know. If he has anything to say about it, no one will ever know the real truth.

- A journey following Lance as he comes to terms with his past and sexuality in a way he couldn't around his family on earth.

(Basically a very personal self-projection on Lance. Some material can be triggering, but I'm keeping it as vague as possible for obvious reasons.)

A major warning -- this fic is a very heavy deep-dive into the traumatising aftermath of childhood sexual assault. Lance, who was CSA’d as a child, is having more and more triggers in his every day life as a paladin. This story details his worsening spiral into his trauma, and his eventual snap and reliance on his team. It’s an excellent story, the team handles Lance with so much care, and it’s a really important story to read, I think (but, again, tread carefully). 

4. Two Years On A Fucking Space Whale by vrepit_nah

After two years on a damn space whale, the Voltron team see Keith return to them. Lance missed Keith, and well, it seemed Keith didn't feel the same seeing as he brushed past Lance without even a 'Hi.'

Except, this isn't Voltron: The Show, but Voltron: My Retelling (And the one we all wanted.)

Keith changes his mind about ignoring Lance.

This is the reunion fic that we deserve! Sappy klance! Whipped Keith! Flustered Lance! I love reading this one when I need to feel better about season 6. 

5. the electric synthesized pop ballad of why keith can’t have nice things by kay_cricketed

Keith can't have nice things. That's it. That's the story.

(Or, in which Keith slowly learns that sometimes the best family is the one you make, Pidge has strong feelings about peanuts, Lance has a secret but would've spoken up sooner if he'd known it would break Keith's brain, Hunk is the actual best, and Shiro is just relieved he didn't have to give anyone the Talk.)

Is this an ABO au? Yes. Am I a little embarrassed about it? Also yes. But I’ll be real, this fic is really good! It’s well written, it’s nonlinear -- which I love -- and it features absolute conniving shithead Lance, whom I adore. It’s a fun fic with interesting themes, including a big thing on trust, and I really recommend it. 

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[nukerooster]

a rough, messy thing that didn't get as far as I'd of liked bc time and once I got so far into the pages and saw all the ridiculous wonked out anatomy mistakes I lost motivation to do any more. Comics, even silly sketchy ones like these, are hard for me. It started out sketchier and just progressed into a more contrasted mess but still a mess no matter how I want to look at it. It was meant to be a fun thing following the idea of 'what if Kraus was zipzapped into an Arch, how would he react? How would he change? What would he do? What would his right hand man, Liam, do? It's a whole can of worms and I ripped the lid off. And now it's part of my AU pile and canon. Despite me stopping the pages, I love the idea and have spent an awful lot of time deepthinking, sketching, and exploring ArchKraus. His design here is inconsistent(as it was a very new thing at the time) but I kinda felt around as the pages progressed and now have a generally good idea of what he's like. Maybe someday I'll actually rise to the challenge of creating a short comic, but for now my busy busted brain can't handle much more than it already is.

If you're unable to discern who characters are, that's no fault of anyone's but mine lmao. Aside from sharing sparsely here, I tend to dump silly sketches and run so the who's who and what's what is all but lost sometimes. The only two mains here are Liam (Read with a soft and lightweight Glaswegian based Scottish accent, he's lost some of his accent due to being around folks that don't have his own accent for decades), and Kraus (Think Ralph Ineson without the English accent, a more assertive gruff, almost snarly, Kraus is big, he's 'mean', and he knows it.)

[wrenchswango]

[gothamsaved]

` 1. What is your favorite trope to rp?

[ … ] I am a big fan of any potentially angsty tropes. Ones like life or death situations that force the unlikeliest of people to rely upon one another to form a closeness that would not have existed without such extremes / external circumstances. Generally any plot where a deep relationship can be built between characters for better or worse, definitely is one I love.

If done well,  it can provide a very good opportunity for both writers to explore their muses in a high emotion,  high stress moment.  The impact of it can carry into future threads,  especially if it’s been built up towards or has been hinted at in the past.  When it’s well plotted,  it gives so much potential to explore a lot of different aspects of a character.  It’s great for romantic,  platonic,  antagonistic tensions,   &&.  it can provide the chance to change an entire dynamic depending on how muses react to what’s happening.  MWAH.

` 6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse/muses.

[ … ] Scrambled, but... Ultimately?  Bruce’s love of humanity &&. his surprising optimism regarding it,  his stubborn compassion that gets looked down on as naïve.  How despite the seemingly endless displays of darkness he faces   &&.   finds,  he is so set in finding the good that casts the shadows it hides inside.  You can’t have darkness without light,  it’s always there,  always a part of it.  He believes no one is born a monster or beyond saving   — they’re made,  shaped   &&.  formed through the traumatic trials they’ve faced. But that with enough effort it can be reversed.

He understands better than anyone else that all it can take is a single bad day to completely turn your world on its head,  can make or break a man depending on how close to the edge they’ve been pushed already — he himself is a result of it.  He wants to help.  I just truly do adore his stubborn,  bloody grit teeth optimism.  It’s born from his own experience being exposed to the horrors &&. despite the occasionally brutal, occasionally flawed methods he will use to handle some situations, it’s his subtle &&. guarded empathy regarding those within Gotham that I adore. His violence in attempting to tame it, his relentless fight to try saving what others feel is nothing more than a dying City, a lost cause   —   there’s always a choice.

His is to save his home regardless of how hopeless it feels.

` 7. What is one overrated roleplay trend?

[ … ] Over formatted replies.  It’s not a huge problem for me personally right now, but I do have issues with reading some over formatted replies, especially when I would get them from others in the past.   The aesthetic of it is absolutely gorgeous,  don’t get me wrong. I greatly admire those that can pull it off.

I understand there comes a lot of extra steps from picking fonts to adding &&.   selecting complimenting colours to really tie the entire response together in an artful display,  but I don’t know how else to word it outside of…  if there’s an excessive amount of breaks in some text via font change or bright harsh colours,  it throws me completely out of a scene I’m attempting to get invested in because my goldfish brain sees the sudden change   &&.   then fixates on that over the plot I was envisioning &&. then I have to reread it over again.

It’s so nitpicky, I know, it frustrates me endlessly because of how a written flow for me can easily be disturbed.  Just to reiterate,  it’s a thing I do adore seeing,  but if I am writing against it,  it makes it hard for me to reply at times so I usually ask people if it’s possible to tone it down with our threads.  Other than that,  that's about the only thing to come to mind regarding rp trends.

` 13. Is there one trope you can’t stand?

[ … ] I think… for this not much really comes to mind as I am usually open to trying new things so long as they are discussed beforehand in private.  I guess cheating as far as plot tropes go in rp threads or unnecessarily complicated love triangles.  Simply put it cuts too close to home.  I don’t mind people that do enjoy writing it,  but for me that’s probably the one thing I’ll outright refuse or avoid to write for personal reasons.

` 18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

[ … ] This is an active issue in a lot of rpcs from what I have seen so far &&. I know I am also very guilty of this on my end — but just people being more active in poking eachother,  anxiety be damned.  I guess simply put,  community support?  Or rpc activity coming back again to where mutuals will actively hype one another easily,  tag eachother in dashgames,  aren’t afraid to kick in dms to screech about possible plots or rp replies.  I am definitely guilty of this myself   ( I am the worst with keeping in touch ooc because of irl issues right now   &&.   stress ).

A positive here, is I haven’t seen much of this in some rpc spaces as of late.  They sometimes tend to come off as a little cliquey especially in recent years so it makes it hard to stay active when you just don’t feel wanted,  you know?  But I am very happy to report since attempting to be more active rp wise lately,  the new faces I’ve seen on dash,  the mutuals made   —   people have been insanely welcoming again.  It’s been nice to see that supportive willingness to interact   &&. be so openly friendly.  I have been writing for a few years now,   &&.   it’s so nice to finally see a hint of that old wholesome vibe I used to notice back in the day making a comeback again.

` 20. Do you need music/noise to write or do you prefer silence?

[ … ] I will always need music to answer things. It helps me focus on a reply, &&. it gives me better chances of envisioning a reply scene more vividly than if I tried to answer with silence in the background. Muse playlists are a life saver!

` ❛ TRANSMISSION RECEIVED ˒﹚) [☎︎] … incoming from @chaoticjoke ↳ Oookay 🗣️

[icedmetaltea]

Why do you like yandere stuff so much? No judgement, I'm just wondering cause I noticed a lot of people like it and I just can't wrap my head around it, so I wanted to ask a few people who enjoy it

WELL it's a bit of a loaded answer... I obvs can't answer for everyone, so this is just my personal take:

(pretty long and also just ioewjgfuireuiver kinda emBARRASSING so ima put it under here)

A bitch be lonely. I think that's the most common thing that draws people to the trope. Like, if you're someone who grew up without friends like me, the idea of being solely idolized by someone, like given their complete attention is just rlly appealing to me. To be loved, to be wanted, to be worshiped no matter how much your brain has convinced you that you're not worthy of love is just *chef's kiss*

The attention. This is kinda the same as the first answer but for me a big thing I love in the trope is when I- or well y/n, more correctly- gets praised a lot and treated like they're the most important thing in the world. I already have awful self-esteem so I like being told I'm perfect and wonderful as I am (TヘT) I think most people also have this mindset.

Being taken care of completely. No more worries about bills, food, shelter, etc... cause it's all taken care of for you (whether u like it or not so you don't have to feel guilty about it lol)

The whole power dynamic. I don't rlly have a sub/dom kink or at least not the mainstream kind (?) but I do enjoy the idea of being able to let go and just be myself without having to worry about judgement or societal norms- because, well, said character has already broken out of what's considered acceptable by kidnapping you or whatever so we're already past that lol.

Kinda adding onto that, being able to be flawed without, again, worrying about putting someone off. You can be ugly, socially inept, talentless, fuckin' stupid, whatever, and it's all okay. You don't have to fit in with anything society deems attractive- said character is flawed enough themselves to find you perfect.

The danger aspect. I love horror in general, so it's kind of like that for me. I have severe anxiety so being able to just feel scared for a while can be incredibly cathartic for me.

The "reframing" thing. In case you haven't noticed, yandere stuff for me tends to be pretty light-hearted. While I'm totally cool with people enjoying yandere stuff with tons of blood/violence/etc, I usually go for "softer" stuff, like stalking, kidnapping, etc. In a way, I'm taking something that makes me feel helpless and scared and making it something that brings me an odd sort of comfort. I suppose this is a way I can cope with anxiety- by taking some form of fear, like how I often feel helpless and trapped during panic attacks, and putting it in the context of when I'm helpless and trapped but in the arms of someone who wants nothing more than to protect me and would literally crush anyone/anything that tried to hurt me aaaAAA ❤️

The fact that it it's fiction! Fiction is a beautiful thing, where you can tackle potentially traumatic things without irl consequences. Would I want anything like this irl? NO!! Stalking/kidnapping/what have you is absolutely vile if it takes place in real life. Even stuff like be very controlling of a partner (unless you have their complete consent and have talked this stuff out ahead of time/have a safe word and all) is entirely unhealthy and toxic. In fiction?? Go for it. It can also be a great way to cope with intrusive thoughts if you suffer from those as well.

That being said, it's absolutely not for everyone, and I imagine most people would find the trope to be disgusting and horrific- and that is completely understandable and okay! It's up to people (who I'm assuming and HOPING are 18+ bc if you're a minor it can be way harder to distinguish reality from fiction and lead an immature person to believe any of these traits like being controlling/ultra possessive are okay irl and maybe even encourage them to seek out abusive relationships/yandere stuff tends to be thrown in with stuff like violence, sexuality, really disturbing stuff in general, etc so when I say all these things, it's coming from my ADULT perspective) to be discerning of what they can handle both mentally and emotionally. If it leaves you feeling gross, creeped out, or disturbed in some way, stop and avoid it.

Alright, sorry for the ramble! As you can tell I'm pretty passionate about it. I hope that answered your question somewhat! ✨

[kyra45]

waterarchon scam post archive

Then a comment:

Don’t donate to them their scamming. Below is the source where I’ve left the owners name uncensored as the scammer likely copied it to look more legitimate. The post is not on the owners profile so it could only have been took from the private group.

The real owners email is different but as it’s not publicly posted I will not show it.

[ghost-on-a-string]

finally

the (semi) long awaited hux longpost! before i get into any of it though, some disclaimers:

1. i have never read the star wars comics and honestly i never will. i like star wars enough to watch clone wars and suffer through the sequel films. that's it.

2. i will not be giving all my thoughts on hux as a character because then i can make more posts and i like when the numbers go up

3. as i said, i have not read the comics. i honestly only half watched rise of skywalker. this won't be super accurate to the star wars lore or anything like that, this is for fun

4. on that note, while this isn't going to be super serious, there are still heavy and sensitive topics, primarily child abuse and neglect, so if those things bother you, please sit this out

actual longpost/shitty character analysis below the cut

how does one start with a character like hux? despite how little screen time he actually gets in the movies, he's incredibly complex, even before you get into the comics. there's a lot to be said about him, even if you only have context from the movies. and while i could (and probably will) make a separate longpost about how last jedi not only fucked the entire trilogy over, but specifically ruined the character of hux by making a genuine threat into a joke within the first 15 minutes, not today my friends.

i will mostly be focusing on hux in the force awakens, using things from the rise of skywalker and what little i know about his backstory in the comics.

1st it must be stated: i do not like any of the other characters in the squeal trilogy. i don't hate most of them, but i either don't have an opinion on them (finn, rose, bb8 kind of, maaz, kylo to an extent), or i genuinely hate the character entirely (rey, she'll get a longpost later). a lot of it is because most of these characters don't have a lot of personality, which is a problem the sequel trilogy has as a whole. even returning characters are bland or weirdly mean

yes, you can argue that hux doesn't really have a personality either. however, compared to others characters (cough cough rey), he is dripping with personality, if you look a little closer. the first example that comes to mind is the speech scene. when he yells, there is genuine malace, hatred and fury in his voice. he isnt just yelling to be loud, he's yelling because he demands respect, terror and power.

it makes sense why he would want those things, especially when you look at his background in the comics. hux is a bastard child, his father was abusive and neglectful. he probably grew up feeling in adequate and out of control. he grew up in terror, so he is going to inflict that terror on others.

(i also want it to be known, i don't think hux is a good person. he's sympathetic, and with his backstory you can understand why he did what he did, but he also literally blew up several planets so. a little different.)

even in his smaller interactions, he seems stiff. while part of that is probably because no one had any personality, part of it could be purposeful. hux is a character desperately grasping for respect and control. he's stiff because then he can control how the conversations he has go. he's cold and confident because people respect those with plans who present those plans calmly. in tros, hux says "i don't care who wins. i just need kylo ren to lose." he's more focused on the way those around him look. because if they look bad, he looks better, he looks more confident, more in control. even after he's dead, he needs to be respected, feared, whatever. he can't let himself be seen as anything other than entirety perfect.

hux doesn't have a personality, because he can't let himself have anything other than utter perfection. he would rather be feared, loathed and respected than simply appreciated and forgotten.

[gainprincess]

"H-Has anyone seen Melt lately...? I've been looking for her all week..."

Well, she hasn't, really...She had an agent out searching for her.

What's that look for?! She can have agents! She's a major player here, you know! She has a ninja that works for her!

"PassioOoNlip-dono...I have retuRRrRnEd."

The robotic voice of Kashin Koji precludes the doll's presence, the woman dropping in out of nowhere as her spider-like metal tendrils clank on the floor to hold her in place. Her body's not all that anymore, and she sounds more like Siri than the master of illusions he was in life.

"W-Welcome back, Koji! What did you learn...?"

"BegINnnNinG report...No signs of Meltryllis-dono in designated class: ALlTer Ego. Lancer located, same position as previous repPpoRRt.

BB-dono remains secCCCluuuded...Recommendation: ExttttERminate. We are...UnSure of her motivAAATIoNs, after all..."

"No sign of her at all, then. She must be in a singularity, like you suspected at the start. We've been wasting our time there..."

It's like Passionlip's demeanor changed completely. The shy, if steel-backed young woman is no more. A calm, cool, collected woman has taken her place, and listens to her assassin's report with complete focus.

"Thank you for searching this past week for me, and I'm sorry for sending you on a wild goose chase. I'll take the matter about BB into consideration, but..."

She sucks in on her lip.

"What about the other matter I asked you to look into, Koji?"

"Nnnh? Other maAAAtteR?"

She closes her eyes, seeming to have to dig through her memory to recall an order issued to her merely 7 days ago.

"Ah- Yes, I reMmMember noWW."

A smile spreads across the spider's face as her tendrils clank and rustle in excitement.

"AaAlL is AcCOrDDinG to plan. They're A-a-a-already falling into posiTIION..."

She twitch-twitch-twitches. She'll need to recalibrate her voice box and limbs, then.

"Very good...Continue monitoring them, and let me know immediately if Avenger's routine changes. Even if she does something small."

"Of course, PAASssionlip-dooOno. I am eEvvER your faithful shinobi...Master."

Passionlip doesn't have hands. So no one would have any reason to check them for anything. Especially Command Seals.

That's why they're on her back. Three of them, in crimson red, unseeable by anyone who isn't trying to get behind lip for some inane reason.

Koji isn't 'officially' in Chaldea. She's not even Ritsuka's Servant.

The master of Assassin, Kashin Koji...

Is Alter-Ego, Passionlip.

"Hehehe...you don't need to call me that, Koji...we're friends. But, um, while you leave..."

"Can you survey the area? Make sure no one's listening in?"

"At onNCEe, Passionlip-dono."

The scuttling of spider legs echo as Kashin Koji flips herself back up into the vents, darting away to do a check on her mistress's domicile.

-

Breath, hot down your neck. The click, click, click of eight steel legs behind you, as you stare at your computer. The hissing of metal joints as they creak and groan.

A soft, warm finger gently tips at your chin, turning your eyes away from the Tumblr screen for just a moment. Just a secon-

Do nOooT OBBbSserve ThiIIngs you were not suppPPPosed to seeeEE.

You will be LEEETTTT off this time.

I am not known for second chances.

Scuttle, scuttle, scuttle. You blink. You're looking at Tumblr again. How odd.

Perhaps a trick of the light.

Yes.

That must be it, my dear reader.

A tTRIIccCCk of the ligHHhT.~