#tw: child harm mention

[springfallendeer]

Rebranded (16.10) - Snippet

“”B-but you’re not a monster, Moony!“” Sun responded, looking at his twin with a concerned gaze. “”What happened wasn’t your fault! You know that! I know that!... And I hate that I have these feelings! They’re very bad feelings, Moony. I-I just want them to go away. It's not fair to you. It's not fair that you’re the only one who has to suffer like this!“” He added, fully explaining his feelings to his twin. 

He hated the fact that these negative emotions had crept into his mind. He hated the fact that some part of him had decided to blame Moon for all of the horrors that they had been put through. It was not fair and it was not right and he desperately wanted to find some means of atoning for it. 

However, the lunar animatronic was not willing to help his brother attain such atonement. Because he felt that there was nothing for them to atone for. 

He was a monster. Sun was not wrong to view him as such, even if on a reluctant, subconscious level.

“”I used our body to harm an innocent child... One of the rare ones who trusted us both. Then I used our body to kill a worker. We were quarantined because of my actions. We were isolated and abandoned because I was defective. You have been burdened with the punishments that I deserved, Sun. You have been burdened with the consequences of what I have done...“” Moon coldly responded. “”However you view me, no matter how bad it may be, I deserve it. That is my punishment for all of the evils I’ve committed.“” He added, effectively shooting down Sun’s desire for atonement through the use of bitter words. His tone was cold and it was calm. Not an ounce of hate or grief to be found as he spoke.

As far as he was concerned, this was a suitable punishment for all the things that he had done. There was no greater punishment than to be hated by the one that he cared about the most. There was no greater punishment than to spend the rest of his existence knowing that on some level, Sun hated him. Even when they had their happy moments. Even when everything seemed to be going fine. That knowledge would always be there, in the back of his mind, tearing away at him just as the virus had done.

The pain that that knowledge would bring would be equal to the suffering that he had forced Sun to endure. This was his atonement.

[furiousgoldfish]

I wrote a very pained, depressive and dark post, even maybe too dark for this blog, but I ultimately decided to publish it, just because this pain has always been invisible in me, and I want to be able to say something. If you're going to read it, there's a lot of mention of death and contemplation of suicide in it, and a lot of painful emotion. Maybe someone will resonate with it and find words to describe their own pain. I also want to note that even though every word of it is true, I am most of the time completely dissociated from this, I'm not actively thinking it, and it came out now because my parents are actively trying to find me and disrupting the life I've tried to make for myself.

What my parents did to me is worse than death, they erased me. When I escaped I didn't know who I was, I had no hope to survive, I didn't think I was worth anything, I felt ashamed to even exist. I was suicidal, i thought I'd be dead within a month even if I don't do it myself. I didn't think I had it in me to survive, to be alive, to be anything. I was a less than a ghost, I didn't even have memories to remember of who I once was because there was no warm memories, only violence, blame, guilt, shame, pain, terror. I was supposed to be a person, and they put me in a state where I knew nothing about being a person, only property and a target, it was my entire life. I was told I deserved this, I was a monster, there was never anything else that is correct to do to me, but hurt me. I thought it was my job to be endlessly harmed. They knew I was suicidal and didn't stop. The only reason I didn't kill myself was the dissociative disorder that functioned like a suicide prevention measure, I physically could not have done it because I have been split into pieces and one of the pieces prevented me from doing it. I would have died otherwise.

What would a quick violent death be compared to this? A fucking blessing. I was slowly tortured until I was willing to kill myself in order to end it. They didn't want to dirty their hands with my murder, they planned on torturing me until I did it to myself. I had an intense drive to survive despite everything, and even that was getting erased. My basic instincts were being erased by the amount of pain I was in. My personality was gone, I didn't even have a personality, it was all overwhelmed by pain and desperation to both survive and end it all, I walked trough life looking death in the face the entire time, it felt so close, so close to me, like it would claim me any second, but I had to stay stoic, calm, me staring down death had to be invisible, I couldn't let it show. It shouldn't have mattered to anyone what I was experiencing. I was torn between life and death, stuck in constant anticipation of it and it couldn't have mattered.

Take a person, any person, imagine them having a life, family, friends, interests, hobbies, desires, dreams, loved ones, support, community. Now imagine that same person isolated, everything stripped away from them, and them being hurt until they can no longer remember anything they wanted to live for. Even their basic instinct to survive is stripped frm them as pain is too large for them to be able to sustain themselves, there's no longer anything in this person's life worth living for, nothing they remember about who they were, no warm thought they can think about themselves, and they're repeatedly told they deserve this, they've wanted this. Until there's nothing of them left.

That was me, but from the start. I didn't get to experience having a life, family, loved ones, interests, dreams, community, or any of that first, I didn't get to know how it was to have any of that! From the very start it was pain and being told that this is all there is, and that I'm stupid for ever thinking there would be anything more to life, that it is in fact, only terror and death and I'm a weakling for not taking it better, everyone else is dealing with this just fine. Shame and guilt were the only traits I could have, I didn't know anything further about me. Nobody knew me because nobody saw me being abused. Nobody could know I was worthless, it had to be my private hell. I would have to live only to the point where it was decided that it was enough and I had to die, or until the point where I couldn't take it anymore and take my own life, even though I so strongly didn't want to, even that basic desire was tempered with and overwritten by pain.

Who would want a life like that? Life of not only being aware that nobody cares about you, but everyone around you is willing to inflict pain on you until you wish to die, but can't. Where crying and screaming is forbidden even when you can't breathe from the amount of pain you're in; you're not even allowed to cry out. You fight with yourself every day on how badly you want to die and why you can't, and it doesn't help, you get lost in magical thinking in order to escape from the hell you're in, but you're brutally reminded of it every time you interact with anyone, when they find you hiding under the bed and dreaming. You don't even know that you're supposed to have loved ones, be safe, be unharmed, that life is supposed to be different, that you're not alive only to be a target, that you're worth anything. You don't even know that you're supposed to have more freedom in life than to choose the manner and time of your death, this is all that's dealt to you. And now, live, see how far you can get before you die. Would anyone choose that? Would anyone decide to be born into a life like that? Wouldn't you choose not to exist at all rather than be put trough that? To be erased and then having to keep on living while thinking you in fact, deserve death, and should do it yourself, and you know if you do die, it won't matter, just like your life didn't? Because people around you regularly nearly kill you and then laugh about it like it was a funny joke? They humiliate you for how ugly you look close to death? You're scared that your last moment will be humiliation for how unseemly your corpse looks and you're hoping you'd be able to die alone, to not be berated as you're dying.

Death is nothing to me compared to this. Waiting to die is worse than death. Endless anticipation of pain is worse than death. Having everything about you erased by pain is worse. Not knowing anything about yourself except that you are incredibly shameful existence and that you need to feel guilty all of the time, is worse. Watching people around you receive care and warmth while you're stuck watching death in the face silently, pretending it's not happening, and trying to not have anyone's attention on yourself because someone noticing means more pain, more shame and guilt. It's worse. Kill me any fucking day. But this will always be worse. Every time I face the reality of my life I wish I had died in the womb, at childbirth, I wish I had died when I was 1, 2, 3, 5, 10, 12, any time before I experienced all this. It would have been so much less pain. It would have been so much easier on me.

And I've already given up on ever having a place in anyone's heart, because at this point, I don't have it in me to make people love me. I have nothing about me that is other people find worth caring for, I made peace with it. There will be no loved ones, and thats fine. But at least then I should get to live my life alone the way I want it. I should find joy in being who I found I am, and doing what I want to do. I should get to do things that give me a little bit of pleasure and enjoyment, and I should be safe, and death should no longer come knocking at my door, staring me down like I owe it something. If I can't even have that, then to hell with everything. What is the fucking point of anything if all my life is a continued slow torture until I can no longer bear it. I have nobody to bear it for, nobody would be harmed by my death. But I also don't deserve to die, because I want to live, and this should be mine. Who the fuck dares to try and take this away from me again. I want to fucking explode. If I have to make my own justice then how do I do it. I literally just want to live. And I see other people having at least that much secured for them. Why can't I at least have that much. I am seriously asking for the bare fucking minimum.

[sukibenders]

The way people are becoming anti-children nowadays is really sad. And I'm not talking about people not wanting to have kids of their own, that's fine and something that shouldn't be shamed nor up to someone else to debate. No, I'm talking about the people who adamantly hate these little humans for simply existing, wanting to ban them from spaces due to them having emotional reactions that they are still learning to understand (you know, the kind of lessons that everyone had to learn and figure out at one point). It's gotten to the point where I've even seen these types of people genuinely support children being harmed and deny their hurt under the consensus of "Well then maybe they shouldn't be there," in your average public space. Like, imagine thinking hating on children, people who need assistance and guidance, is something to be proud of.

[hiddens-studio]

So I was working on my AU featuring the guy ever; Descole. But like halfway through I realized it was kinda similar to @teenytinyapprentice 's ghost!Luke au, so I drew him too!

I'm a huge fan of that au (and all of Tyler's Layton art tbh) so why not!

I feel like if Spirit!Descole and Ghost!Luke ever met, it would probably be the most awkward thing ever.

[transgenderprototype]

If you care so much about victims of csa how about you fucking listen to us and stop using the term "child porn" or lord forbid stupid replacements like "cheese pizza" and instead call it what it actually is. Child sexual abuse material. Child sexual exploitation material.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

I thought of my first kiss today

Oh, I wanted her.

The red flags were blowing in the wind, but I was blind.

She smelled like blood, my fingers tracing over her scabbed skin where she had carved the name of her boyfriend. But she let me put my hand under her hoodie while she sat on my lap, and she never wore anything beneath it, so i felt lucky.

I thought of my first kiss today

And how she said yes when I asked, but only because she wanted the boy in the room with us to look at her. And I took it, desperate, yearning. Heart pounding. I couldn't stop grinning all night after, even when she rode away on her bike and never looked back.

I thought of my first kiss today

And how that girl never wanted me

And I'd never wanted anything so much in my life.

[kadextra]

Dapper talking about how it feels cold and that it’s “comforting” in their last few entries right after saying she’s using their own health and almost died is literally the biggest red flag ever

[cdd-system-terms]

Involunharm

[pt: involunharm. end pt]

not requested by anyone

Involunharm [In-vol-un-harm]

Involun: involuntary

A term for alters that hold trauma related to being forced to harm someone (for RAMCOA/OEA/TBMC/programmed systems only), regardless of how much or how bad. This can include any sort of harm or abuse, regardless of how minor or how major you consider it to be. This includes failed attempts to harm someone. This can also include being forced to harm or attempt to harm animals, not just people. Some examples would be physical abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, rape, animal abuse, mental abuse, pyschological abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, religious abuse, grooming, bullying or cyberbullying, sextortion, etc. It can also include abusing someone into developing or fully developing a disorder, worsening their existing disorder symptoms (regardless of if they have the "full-blown" disorder or if they are only showing some traits), and/or intentionally triggering their disorders. Disorder examples are dissociative disorders, addictions, eating disorders, personality disorders, etc. It can also include worsening physical issues.

The harm can be done to anyone or anything (such as animals) of any age, sex, gender, etc.

The syskid version would be Involunharmkid and the same flag is used for both terms.

*-someone can coin a similar term for non-programmed systems, I don’t mind ^^ But I am using the involun- prefix for programmed systems exclusively

[dont-blame-it-on-the-kids]

Feel You in My Bones

Even when wounds are scarred over, when time has passed and she’s grown older, she still feels them in her bones.

TW Assault, Child Abuse, Major Character Injury, Self Harm, Domestic Abuse, Drowning

/Ao3 Plink/

Scar Study of Lin by @mgthejerkbender

(commissioned by me for my hc lmao)

[honeybee2807]

I once saw a photo of an excerpt in Cursed Child: the Journey about Albus' wand and how he treats it like a worry stone. Back then I didn't know about worry stones so I decided to search it up. Apparently they are used as stress relief and majorly used by people who struggle with anxiety disorders. And that made me wonder: I've read a lot of fics where he is depressed, bipolar, psychopathic, etc but never as a person struggling with anxiety disorder.

Back when I first read CC, I became obsessed and wanted to read many articles about it to see diff viewpoints. In one article back in 2016 it was noted that Albus was mostly hc'd as having depression and adhd while Scorpius was mostly hc'd as having anxiety and autism.

It's quite ironic since according to CC The Journey, Scorpius is canonically the one struggling with depression(they mentions self harm in the section of his wand) and Albus uses his wand like a person with anxiety disorder using a worrystone. Even though reading both the excerpts was upsetting, I can't help but feel a tiniest bit amused since it seemed that the fandom(at least in 2016) seemed to have switched it up. But of course, a person could have both anxiety and depression at the same time(I'm not negating that fact).

And the 'Albus potentially having anxiety disorder' theory(and it's a theory cuz he could just be stressed and not anxious) does make sense in a few ways. For example his fear of ending up in Slytherin and the worry that he might be evil cuz he ended in Slytherin.

To be fair, I'll admit that I am not very well educated on anxiety disorders(Well I used to but that was years ago and unfortunately I never got to update myself and remind myself(I may have forgotten stuff) cuz of continuous years of board exams), so I may be wrong. But I do think it's an interesting theory and maybe once I finally know enough about anxiety and if it does fit, I might adopt it as a headcanon.

[dannibals]

here’s my rusty lake oc Vanessa!! she is really cool

Also i’m planning on doing artfight my user is PurpleMcgee she will be on my profile.

I would also love to draw some rusty lake ocs for artfight so if you have one drop your user!!

[bubblesxo]

asking my 13 year old sister to name, identify, and rate all bsd characters

tw mentions of abuse, death, sh

atsushi (accidentally spoiled it for her)

age: 17

role: main character (also kinda spoiled this)

power: fire (because of his eyes)

comments: mid outfit. wonky hair. cute smile.

backstory: his dad abused him and killed his mom. he always hated his dad. his dad never acknowledged him as his son (ayo she kinda cooking??). he ran away and found a magical school where they'll teach him to use his powers.

good/bad: good

rating: 6.5/10

name: gojo

age: 17

role: good guy but the bad cop in interrogations

power: flight

comments: hot

backstory: his dad tried to kill him, but his mom saved him and died in the process. (why is she always killing off the parents??? okay asagiri go off.) he always hurt himself because he felt bad (im word-for-wording it rn guys) and his dad turned into a really bad guy---not like he really wasnt one---and tried to kill him again but failed so gojo killed him instead.

good/bad: good

rating: 10/10 but has emotional damage (??)

name: christopher

age: 13

role: younger sibling to someone

power: mind reading

comments: hot. and gay. (stop crushing my dreams girl.)

backstory: (me: does he give orphan?) he does give orphan. his parents died in a car crash (she's cooking y'all) he always stayed at an orphanage but then he was adopted/taken in by a powerful teacher guy (word for word y'all).

good/bad: good

rating: hot so 10/10

name: batsushi

age: 19

role: villain

power: shapeshift into diff ppl (COOKING?????)

comments: everyone thinks he's a good guy but he is. fax.

backstory: his parents died when trying to kill 2 heroes so he went to an orphanage and a bad guy comes to adopt him and trains him to be bad

good/bad: bad

rating: 2/10

special addition

name: gavin

age: 21

role: villain

powers: "idk hes just evil"

comments: hot. but gay. "a little too old for me" (YOURE 13??) "he gives meanie-pants."

backstory: took in the above and made him evil.

good/bad: bad but manipulative

rating: 8/10

name: mona lisa

age: 19, raccoon is 3

role: villain, raccoon is his mastermind

power: doesn't have one the raccoon is pulling the strings

comments: coquette (she saw the hairbow post on pinterest). (she found out he's not evil atp.) ugly only w his hair back (???)

backstory: his parents abandoned him and he doesn't know who they are. he decided to make a name for himself so he made friends with a raccoon and makes him do the work

good/bad: bad, but actually good (shesaw the pinterest posts WHAT R YALL POSTING ON THERe???)

rating: 7.5/10

let us know if u want part 2 and what characters u want!! she's fine w it<33

[ripromulus]

cannot stop thinking about qBad and his self sabotaging, self-sacrificing, untrusting yet caring personality.

He’s such a guy that you can’t help but feel tragic about. He’s put himself in a box of taking responsibility for the eggs’ lives so early on, and lived so unselfishly in order for the other parents to not have to face the same griefs and to prevent them from going over the edge from loss. (ie him being the first to witness Slime’s insanity and it almost costing his son’s life)

He’s got such a huge savior complex that I don’t think he even realizes how fucked up it is that he has been labeled as THE ISLAND BABYSITTER. In which, in the context of the island’s systems and rules, he’s essentially in charge of their children’s survival when the other parents can’t. Thus holding increasingly weight and stakes.

And having that responsibility—albeit light-hearted and funny—be placed on top of his head like a crown, has boxed him and warped his sense of self so much to the point that it has become self-harm.

We see this pressure to be THE PROTECTOR finally manifesting in his appearance, and his actions now. He’s willing to cut down anyone who gets in his way of finding the eggs and returning them to everyone’s lives.

The cause is so noble, but executed so goddamn bad that he’s hurting himself AND his friends in the process.

[uncanny-tranny]

If there's anything I wish I could do, I wish I could clue in every parent who says or thinks, "my child is my property, not your property!" into what their future will look like

I've gone no-contact with my abusive family - I haven't seen, spoken to, or acknowledged them. This has been for twenty and ten years, respectively, to the parental figures who abused me. I blocked one of their numbers. I call them by their first names when talking about them. I am happy for once, I am free! I haven't harmed myself nearly as often or as horribly.

This is the future you're potentially setting yourself up for. I know this because I was always seen as property first and never as a child. I was never allowed the grace that the adults in my life expected. Is this what you want? If you want property, then do children a favour and just buy a car.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

This is a 6-month old draft, and I have to share it, I don’t have the heart to delete it. Major TW

Somethings about me just because

I’m the eldest child

I’m an Aries

I’m asexual - aegosexual to be exact

I wanted to be an author

I work as a barista

My goal is to work in statistical analysis, specifically environmental statistics

I tried to kill my self twice

I have a pinboard of Polaroids like from Pinterest

I have a letter of warning from the Victorian Transit authority

I love space

I don’t know who I am anymore - maybe that’s why I’m writing this list

My favourite record is David Bowie: Ziggy Stardust

I’m aromantic

I have a homemade poster in my room with a Hamilton quote on it

My hair is brown

My eyes are green

[blue-thief]

i love the sports anime genre