#tw: bodily functions

[miyo-here]

Eneline walks up to Miyo with a disgusted face

"I just found out why my big brother always wanted to watch my little pony with me as a kid...."

She grabbed Miyo on the shoulder

"He had his hands by his that area with it being covered by a pillow...."

((I made her J****'s sister😝))

((Oh SHIT! THE HORROR THAT POOR WOMAN MUST’VE SEEN!!!) 😰😰😰

Miyo rn:

“Uhhhhh…I didn’t need to know THAT, Ene!!!!”

*he then hug Eneline as he SHOOK with terror*

“I feel like we should tell Curly about this…But I have a feeling as bitch ass won’t listen!” 😭😭😭😭

[ineffabeatlemindpalace]

tmi

[panlight]

On the subject of pooping, most people empty out the system when they die, so what does that mean for the vampire transformation? Like... is it forced out during the transformation? Do new vampires wake up in a puddle of their own mess?

Some vampire stories actually address this, although most of the time it's more of a "okay you're a vampire now, go get rid of the last of your human waste" so it happens after the fact not during 'death.' I'm pretty sure there's something about this in Interview With The Vampire, and in Christopher Moore's "You Suck: A Love Story" I remember a chapter literally called "The Last Poop."

I'm sure SM would not have her beautiful, sparkling vampires poop or vomit during the transformation because that would ruin the fantasy. My guess is she'd say that the venom burns any waste still in the body or something. But then again she does say they have to "cough up" any human food they eat as vampires and Bella in childbirth vomited up a fountain of blood so, I mean, maybe. Carlisle's a doctor so probably wouldn't be fazed by it, and in the midst of supernatural fiery pain I don't know that the transforming person would like, notice these more mundane human bodily reactions.

It's certainly not pleasant or pretty to think about, but I don't think drinking blood is pretty or pleasant either as much as SM and Bella kind of gloss over that or just make it fun and sexy. The fascination with vampires to me, such as it is, is that tension between oh they are so powerful and beautiful and elegant BUT their existence is pretty brutal and gross. Lovely gentle Esme decorates the pristine house and then goes out into the woods to murder something with her teeth.

[neuroglitch]

Second night in a row waking up at around 4 in the morning to run to the toilet with painful diarrhea...

Please body.... Must you do this..?

[vrisktorias--serket]

If I wear white underwear does that make me more or less likely to shit myself because I shat myself this weekend (never trust a fart) but since putting the new underwear on it hasn't happened again.

[dddemigirl]

Didn’t want to but I just called dad and told him that I don’t think I can go on my trip. Had another flare up last night with diarrhea. It’s happening more and more frequently like days apart and the stress of anything just triggers it more. I don’t want to get sick like that on a flight or airport. I just keep emptying myself and exhausting myself, getting dehydrated. I’m worried. Got a brief response from my doctor via text but haven’t actually scheduled yet.

[rainbadinosaur]

Shoutout to the trick of grabbing an alcohol pad or isopropyl and wafting it to stop yourself from vomiting. Had the thing where halfway through my meal it was suddenly just BAD and I needed to go

[pinkpinkmermayyy]

so…are we going to discuss the ableism in cars 2 or what??

@thisismisogynoir @fancylala4 @punkeropercyjackson @champmorado @kaderp @y7kierre

[fantabulisticity]

So I've been having abdominal cramps and general tummy discomfort the last 3 days after eating really heavy food that I don't usually eat, while being dehydrated and also drinking alcohol (not much alcohol, but my body doesn't like it). And this morning the cramps were dipping from mild into moderate while I was tearing down for an event at work, but I was able to pass a somewhat difficult bowel movement just now, and my tummy feels SO MUCH BETTER. I'm going to try to stay hydrated today to appease my angry digestive system.

[bennydwight]

Okay so two (2) people validated me with this which is more than enough for me to throw caution to the wind, so we begin the ‘Ghost and Molly McGee’ theory/headcanon thread with:

A Theory on Ghost Digestive Systems

So anyone who's played DND will know of a very famous (and famously hated) monster called a gelatinous cube. It's essentially a 5ft by 5ft cube of jello that disintegrates and absorbs everything inside it thanks to being made mostly of acid. Ghosts work in the same principle, their innermost layer of ectoplasm is acidic and, given enough time, can dissolve anything from bone to metal to glass, leaving no waste material behind. This inner layer of ectoplasm shines brighter than the outer layer because not only is it usually working to absorb things and outputting energy, that's where extra energy from food is stored. The colour also acts as a defense mechanism, like the bright spots on butterfly wings, warning of danger when touched.

Ghosts have almost complete control over their forms, as seen by the varied and extensive scare forms at their disposal. When not in use (the default for most ghosts, as they have no need to actually consume nutrition), the inner layer neutralizes into a thicker form of ectoplasm in order to provide an extra layer of stability to the form. In the event of discoporation or bisection, a ghost can flash-neutralize the ectoplasm to avoid detection from another creature, who would notice mild acid burns after passing through an odd cold patch of air. In this way, they can become safe to touch. While this action is usually intentional, it can sometimes be performed as a subconscious reflex.

To address flatulence: The more a ghost consumes, especially food products as opposed to solid material, the more air pockets add up within the inner ectoplasm. The grain from a loaf of bread can be dissolved, but the air of the crust less so. These little pockets of air gravitate towards each other to maintain the form's balance and, when they reach such a size where they can be expelled, they are. And ghosts, as we’ve seen, are creatures of habit (despite most of these habits being unnecessary after death, such as sleeping or breathing). The form remembers what it was like to be flesh and blood, remembers how things were supposed to work. Sense memory is a strong factor on the subconscious, the body knows what it feels like to sleep and breathe which is why those patterns continue after death. As it stands, this is also why the air pockets in a ghost’s ectoplasm are released through the ass

[inchling-prince]

Which of the time twins do y’all think is the “does gross shit to get on his brother’s nerves” twin?

The can’t stand to lose at roughhousing so he licks the arm holding him down so the winner releases him in disgust twin? The holding in a fart so he can crack ass right next to his bro twin? The “I licked every muffin so you can’t eat one” twin?

Like I want to say Acronix because he’s a god damn gremlin, but then I feel like I’m underestimating Krux’s mischief level. Maybe it’s both of them and it’s just a constant ebb and flow of gross revenge pranks.

[antioceas]

STARTER MEME - Inspired by quotes from my friends' discord server

TRIGGER WARNING for suggestive wording, mention of bodily fluids, mention of drug use

[Change pronouns/tenses/etc to fit context]

"You goddamn bitch of a fucking hitch ... what did I just say??"

"They're showing you queer wizards?"

"He looks like a Robots (2005) reject"

"One time I was really worried because I had bright green poop but I realized, all I had eaten that day was blue fun dip and three pickles"

"He was a thee olde sicky bitch"

"All I could think was the f slur... French"

"I don't want all knives to be perfect! Just this one"

"I was hit by a baka blast when I was born"

"You can't tell my vengeful ghost what to do"

"Did this guy piss? Where's your piss, guy?"

"You know how most things taste?"

"There's something beautiful about lying on the floor in a pool of your own blood, your blood mingling with your friends', as you both slowly die from mutually inflected wound"

"I wonder what college degree I need to be a bear. Not the gay man bear, but the animal bear"

"When you talk, my regrets about being alive tend to go up"

"There is an elephant in the lake - Let me clarify, the elephant is dead"

"Wow, babies are dumb as fuck"

"Frodo Baggins would not fuck four of my friends in high school"

"Are you having an old man fight?"

"What if the song was like "Press Squiggle Squiggle Squonk on the Diggle Donk"?"

"Why are you so pointy today?"

"I think if you got air to the brain, it would help whatever you have"

"I wanna look up at the moon and see a [name]-shaped crevice"

"Your jaw is weak. It's a jaw for babies"

"I don't want to fuck it, but also can it fuck?"

"I might be a mess! ... I meant maestro..."

"If you BITE me, you get WET. Cause and effect, little BITCH"

"Oh shit, my tower to God is infested with zombies"

"I feel like you don't respect my work on the Tower to God"

"[Name] is doing drugs in the balloon room again"

"[Name] is proof Descartes is wrong. You cannot think and still am plenty"

[meadowlarksabove]

Gabban. You succesfully helped deliver a calf! Paukka thinks you should pick, since you did most of the work. What will you name it?

🐄🐄🐄🐄

Hooves teetered from the brahmin’s backside, covered in a thin, membranous film which ripped the more her insides contracted. Yet as the minutes passed, neither man would see signs of heads or snouts, but the same pair of feeble arms stuck in the clench of her folds. She swelled, pushed, and brayed as even her neck collapsed to the side. This hadn’t been a premature birth, nor had she ever been too weak to complete her term. Gabban himself hadn’t observed anything out of the ordinary and, to his knowledge, she’d only been a heifer up to that point. Young enough to feasibly withstand the labor– to which this seemed a strange setback. 

Still, he pressed a hand to Paukka’s arm, urging them to keep the female in place while he relived the little farming experience he’d garnered as a boy. He rolled up his sleeves, wondering just how well he’d actually perform something he had done only once (and under duress), then pressed his fingers where mother and child met. The muscles were firm against the intrusion, pulsing in a way that reminded him of a seething wound. His arms tread further, and his palms felt for the crook of its forelegs, careful not to harm the faces he thankfully found there as well. The frumentarius took hold, fingers furled a little below the elbows, and soon he repositioned just as he pulled. The poor thing had swiveled out of place. 

Once or twice, the mother tried to kick the blonde stationed behind her, shivering with a tremendous amount of discomfort. Yet he persisted amid the threats, fighting off the residual tugging of her organ and her instinct to cramp up from the pain as more of the calf slowly came into view. Its two heads tucked together, then splayed apart, chest broad and twitching. Until there came a full release, a soundless pop as its behind squeezed out the nook. Another bless’ed girl for the herd! Whole and breathing, he’d hardly had to clear anything from her noses when she started snorting and panting in his arms. He felt her pulse for a moment, as if to convince himself that he’d indeed birthed a live animal, then had to retreat as the mother instantly became aggressive…

It was only when Paukka spoke that he realized he was covered in discharge and torn placenta, his clothes ruined with bodily waste. He looked down at his hands, then up his arms, almost like a man in shock. A strange emotion washed over him then, one he couldn’t begin to name, yet it spurred him to smile earnestly. This had been the filthiest he’d ever looked, but the cleanest he’d ever felt.

“I get to name her?” Gabban shot a glance to the small thing, two pairs of ears twitching as she was being licked clean, and her eyes drooping as if she were already needing a nap. Oh, he felt he was going to spoil her rotten! 

“Etta.” He concluded after a minute of watching her, tickled by the sight of her placid breathing. Alive, alive, alive, and by his help. “Can we please name her Etta?”

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

[detectivewoof-a]

I said I was gonna do it and I did it. It's really fucking nasty down here.

‘Records of the cursed dogs in South America are few and in between, but the general consensus seems to be that they are an impossibility.’ 

He’d been lying on the floor for what felt like the longest ten minutes of his life, arms clutched hard over his midsection. Or maybe those were his intestines? It was hard to tell when the feeling of flesh seemed to blend together with the way his head swam from blood loss. 

The caliber had been large, the fucks, but they didn’t lace it like they usually did. No silver, or the blood would’ve started smelling like rot and mold now. No silver, which meant this wasn’t a hunt. Sadistic bastards wanted something... 

Manny was sure of it anyways. That Cult of the Sun or whatever they went by these days wouldn’t have tracked him for no other reason.  

‘A theory that commonly gets raised is why and how. Many figure that it’s the notion of this... beast that seems to guide them in extreme times of need and others, but where does it come from?’ 

He could feel his breathing slowing to a labor, the squelch and pain of trying to pack the important bits back where they needed to go was almost too much. It was probably a miracle he didn’t vomit or shit himself from the initial convulsion of shock. The rest of the bodily functions weren’t as lucky. 

Words were being spoken somewhere above to him. Maybe. Something about studying, of course it was, and the boot that tried to step on the mess of internals he didn’t have the energy to push wasn’t helping any. 

The snarling echoed in his ears was the last thing Manny could hear before letting himself get swept away in the cold. 

‘We’re not sure where it comes from, but one thing’s for certain: if you’ve downed one of the beasts then you need to make sure you finish it off. Leaving it to die on its own is not enough.’ 

The hunter watched in horror, a scream left dying in her throat at the scene. Her mentor caught by a massive claw that jutted out from the new hole in their captive’s body. Panic, orders, she scrabbled for the silver tips on her belt but a new noise made her drop them and the gun. A sickening, meaty snap. She didn’t want to look, but curiosity got the better... 

She really wished it hadn’t. 

Another thick, muscular, fur covered arm broke straight out of the mouth of their victim. The jaw was unhinged and broken clear in two places, hanging only by the muscle. The throat bulged thick and struggled around the mass. Wet, gagging sounds like being choked, oh God was he still alive?-- 

Her mentor yelled about his leg and screamed at her to fire, but she couldn’t. God, she couldn’t stop watching... 

The skin stretched until it tore, the mouth seemed to unhinge impossibly more. The gagging got louder, like a struggle to breathe. God, just die, please it’ll be kinder.  

Except there wasn’t any kindness when the freed claw was able to finally reach and tear. Flesh and muscle gave way with little difficulty not much different from clothes, she watched in horror as it tore into what was left of the shoulder as well. The injury that impacted was still there but somehow less. Smaller. 

Or maybe it was the size of the beast that stood before them that made them think that. 

It roared, she screamed, her mentor yelled at her to run. 

‘Stories say that their God will not accept them until their purpose has been fulfilled. Experience says that these creatures will die as long as we make sure they’re dead once they are down. This is why we call them Los Que Esperan.’ 

‘They are the ones that wait for death.’ 

[the-haunted-prince-au]

Currently playing with the inherent body horror that comes from Snatcher being alive and human again

(The "purge my insides doodle was originally gonna be a bit gorey but I decided against it)

@return-of-the-queen-au