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#tw my literal past
stefisdoingthings · 1 month
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ark aftermath
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dottores · 11 months
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well, i was going to wait to formally announce something when i got the time but i’m a bit irritated that the first thing i see when i log in is this ask
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^ to answer your question anon, idk why you’re following if that’s what you feel 💀 respectfully, unfollow and never interact with me again. and this goes for everyone else who has left nasty asks in my inbox demanding me to update. my priority is law school and family, not to update fanfics that i don’t get paid for. this is something i do on the side for fun, it is not a job nor does it help me secure my future. spend less time demanding free work from people and spend more time working on your own future. it quite literally should never get to the point where you’re demanding strangers on the internet to provide you with fanfiction and insulting them when they have other things going on—seek help. that is weird.
but on a more serious note to everyone who has been respectful & kind about it—i don’t think i’m gonna be able to update anything until winter break, i apologize to everyone who has been waiting patiently, i promise i’m not abandoning heliotropes but it will not be updated for at least a month and a half. my workload has skyrocketed the past two weeks and my professors are warning us that it’s only uphill until after finals when we get our break. i need to be focusing on work, i barely even have the energy to answer messages from ppl right now.
^^ so if you are here for just my writing, this is the time to leave. i’ve been very vocal about this not being a writing blog. it is just my blog. if you only want writing, unfollow and find it in the tags.
i am going to be closing my inbox to prevent more asks like this because it’s rude and it’s not something i want to deal with. officially on semi-hiatus.
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becca-e-barnes · 1 year
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Sub!bucky is so needy for you after you denied his orgasm a few days (he is so whiny 😩🥵)
And at night he’s having a wet dream of you and he doesn’t know that’s part of you evil plan… while he grinds his clothed dick at your palm you whisper some sexy things in his ears. When he cums he wakes up and you made his look like he was not your good boy 🥵🥵🥵🥵
I've actually been thinking about something similar recently! I just really love subby men eugh 🤤
I like to think you could make it a little more intense though because I prefer to imagine that you've been making him edge for a few days. You don't let him edge inside you, you both know he'd struggle too much. Instead, you lube up your hand and stroke him for hours, letting him fuck your fist until he's dribbled so much precum over you, your hand is unbearably slick and then you kiss his forehead before you tuck his aching cock back into his underwear.
No matter how much he whines and begs and pleads to be allowed to cum, you don't give in. He's not just being denied his orgasm, he's being worked towards it until he's right on the edge and then you give him absolutely nothing. Repeatedly. It's torture but fuck, he gets off on knowing his dick is yours. He doesn't cum without your permission. You completely own him.
He breaks after the sixth night of being relentlessly edged. You'd stroked his cock nice and slowly for hours that day, swirling your tongue over his tip and reminding him that he's the best boy. He was practically shaking by the time you both made it to bed.
His little whine of "Oh fuck, please." was the first thing you remember hearing when you woke up, quickly followed by "O-oh, oh yes."
At first you thought he must be touching himself; giving in to his own slutty thoughts when he thought you wouldn't find out.
As your sleepy brain slowly wakes up, you realise he's grinding against you, rubbing his throbbing cock against your bare ass, gripping your hips like there's no tomorrow. "Gonna cum. F-fuck, gonna cum." He's frantic, his head tucked in against your neck, his breath hot and erratic against your skin.
You can't have that. Absolutely not. You shuffle away from him, determined not to let him have what he needs and the second the contact between your bodies is broken, you hear him whine pathetically.
"Did you really think that would work out for you?" You tease quietly, turning to face him but that's when you realise his eyes are still closed. His brow is furrowed, very clearly still asleep.
You can't help but pity him. He's so desperate to cum, he's grinding against you in his sleep. He's done his very best to do as he's told but his body can't take it. He's been the best boy for you all week. The least you could do is grant him a little relief.
"You're such a good boy, Bucky." You whisper, pressing him gently onto his back, grasping his cock and letting the tip glide between your slick folds. Nothing feels better than this. You've missed it more than you thought you would this week.
"Such a pretty little slut." You line his tip up with your entrance and ever so slowly lower yourself down. "You're a mindless little fuck toy for me when you're like this. So horny, you can hardly even think straight. You've been like a needy fucking puppy for me all week. You just let your dick think for you, isn't that right? You know I could tell when you were zoning out and daydreaming about fucking me? You're so cute."
As you start to really fuck yourself on him, Bucky seems to moan himself awake.
"Please." He begs, and it sounds so pretty when he says it. "Please, I'm so close. I'm gonna cum. I can't cum inside you. There's gonna be so much."
"Oh sweetheart, that's what I want. I want you to fill me. Stuff my cunt full of cum. I thought I told you how badly I want a baby."
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coyoteclan · 8 months
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Big TW for pet loss
Hey, clangen tumblr and those who just enjoy the silly cats on this blog. I know it's been a little bit of time since my last update, but unfortunately during the past few months, I have been caring for my closest friend, Comet.
She's been my best friend for 15 whole years, and on February 9th of 2024, I'm sad to say that she has passed. I won't lie when I say that this is one of the hardest posts I've ever made, but I want to continue this blog in her honor. Normally, I have a terrible habit of just letting projects like this slip by me and gather dust; however Comet was meant to play an integral part within the blog to immortalize her, and I refuse to let something meant just for her to go to waste.
I want to thank you all first of all for being such an amazing community. I've genuinely had so much joy come of this blog, and it pains me that I let it go stagnant for as long as I have. There are 568 of you now, which is so extremely wild to me; but I hope that from now on, you can all love Comet as much as I did, even if as a memory.
I hope to return to posting content both here and on my main, @mxssacre , but for now I still need time to grieve and come to terms with the loss of someone that was so incredibly intertwined with everything I've done since I was 9 years old.
Thank you for everything Comet, my heart, my soul, my love.
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More of my favorite photos of her beneath the cut.
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It's hard to choose favorites out of the thousands of photos I've taken of her over the years, but I hope these do her justice to show what an amazing being she was. I hope you're hunting your toy mice in the stars, Comet.
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even-disco-baby · 1 year
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YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”
DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.
EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.
CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.
YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”
DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.
“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”
And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…
PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.
VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…
“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”
“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”
“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”
“How could you say that…?”
DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.
“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”
SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?
“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”
“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”
“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”
“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”
DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.
“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”
RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.
VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?
I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…
I can. It’s enough.
I don’t know. I just don’t know.
I can at least try for a little longer…
VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#dolores dei#suicide tw#ummmmm haha *twirls hair*#sorry this isn’t more of the dolores saga im really trying to get back into the swing of things 😭#this is smth that won’t make it into the saga but that i was thinking about nonetheless#im not too fond of the whole ‘’dora is literally dolores dei’’ thing tbh#i feel that the mundanity is what makes their story impactful#and also just. makes it feel like somebody is kinda going overboard on projecting onto their proxy ex. lmao 😭#idk like the metaphor gets a little TOO metaphorical for me. but that’s just my onion. im an rgu fan so who am i to judge#anyway this is more my take on the harry/dora story#which is that dora was Just Some Guy and ultimately we have to live w the fact that we’ll never get the full story#because she literally exited the narrative#we can speculate about what her and harry’s relationship was like and how much of the blame is on each of them#dora’s lack of class consciousness vs harry’s violent misogyny etc etc#and like. it’s not that there’s no value in examining those things bc there definitely is value in it#in examining what patterns you DO see repeating in your life and in the world around you#that is what politics is really… examining the system and all its moving parts#but ultimately the past is immutable… our perception of it changes as we gain new context and understanding but what’s past is past#and there is no way of knowing with any certainty what the future holds#that’s where the overlap of all of these political and personal conflicts is for me#and why it comes back to harry questioning whether it’s worth it to even live#it’s about whether or not you can live with the grief of the past and the uncertainty of the future#i want to learn to live with it… to work toward building a future that i want to live in#anyway. coughs
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sophiethewitch1 · 5 months
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Woke up from the most sweatiest nap ever and WWW reader's the first thing that came up to my mind so have this when she just woke up to her rich life and being super confused
CW: kinda nsfw??
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Ltrly keep rereading ur series its too goodfdfkfbkdsd
WAHHHH I WAKE UP THIS MORNING AND I SEE THIS??? AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! YOUR ART IS SO CUTE AND LIKE.... YOU PERFECTLY CAPTURED READER'S ABSOLUTE DISHEVELMENT I LOVE IT!!! SHE IS SO GIRL FAILURE 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️
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volfoss · 4 months
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i think honestly what irritates me about yoshidas work SO much is that people will tell you that banana fish is THE gay manga (ignoring the many things that came before it and were more groundbreaking, ie MW literally having on screen (or like. on panel but still.) gay sex in it and that came out like a decade before BF did) when there really isn't barely any gay rep outside of the pedophiles and the one time ash drops the f slur. like im sorry but somehow yasha, a work she wrote in 1996, has more gay rep in it but also has the same issues.
i truly do not get how people can enjoy banana fish with the rampant racism every 2 pages or the rampant sexual assault plotlines (on women and ash bc he is just... written like how yoshida writes women lmao) that are handled IMPOSSIBLY bad and sincerely i hoped yasha would be better because it had been like a decade or so between works. and then it proceeds to continue with the heres our blonde genius protagonist who everyone is weird as fuck to and will sexually harrass and everyone finds it a VERY funny joke to point out how feminine he is when theres barely any women in the work (if you exclude the ones that are being raped/killed/creepy to minors. which to be fair yasha has toned down the sa a LOT) and that its funny that hes kind of gay except not really!! and its just absurd to me how it just persists in all of her stuff because she is not an author that handles gay stuff well. like the scene in banana fish where ash is completely ok getting gang raped and did it solely to get into the hospital when its been SHOWN that he has a lot of trauma with that. and then right after his friend makes a joke at ash's expense about that. like sincerely and genuinely is this what we are hyping up as the old retro gay manga. go read some tezuka and stop reading shit that the most the main characters do is share a kiss in a nonromantic sense and is obsessed w making every gay person be evil!!
#twist rambles#sorry mw u will always be famous to me (horrible fucking manga to experience for like 50% of the time but also it rocksss and theres#about anything tw worthy in there but i wish more ppl did read it)#sorry im like. i like to read her stuff bc her art is interesting to me but oh my god it makes me so angryyyy#rape mention#ask to tag#like... you do not understand my one sided rivalry w her it is SO intense like... bf was one of the worst reading experiences ive ever had#my tzk gay recs are: black jack (protag literally has a transmasc ex bf) and mw (for aforementioned reasons but its like. genuinely bonkers#and honestly there r a lot of minor characters that r lgbt in his works and like. can we please read smth that doesnt suck 100% of the time#like idk god bf is so baffling to me bc theres NOTHING there other than like. the new horrors every chapter. and yasha seems to be reusing#some plot points so it double sucks. haunted by the one analysis showing how the two had similar themes and point 1 was literally child#exploitation like... man. god it sucks. like not that mw is perfect bc its not and its a media i have a lot of thoughts on but man. id take#that over bf anyday bc like... sincerely how is anyone looking past the horrors there!! the story is a jumbled mess and it rly doesnt have#much to sayyyy but whatever lol!! id love if the characters were in a better media id love if ash didnt end the story feeling positively#towards the man who groomed him but whateverrrr lol#this is super disorganized as a post but like. genuinely it is so infuriating bc some of the plot concepts in yasha have potential and then#she keeps doing this like!!
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crybaby-bkg · 15 days
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been wanting to write lately but all of my ideas have been so self indulgent and catered to Me and those usually don’t get as much traction but writing things I don’t care about is so hard for me now and I am. angerey. but wil still make this shit self indulgent ☝🏼
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softceleste · 6 months
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Christopher Briney and Suki Waterhouse in Dalíland (2022)
Please do not save, repost, or edit these gifs for any reason, use the reblog button instead. Also please do not interact if you’re a celeb rp blog or if you write taboo content on your blog, thank you!
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our-lesboy-experience · 3 months
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One of my many Lesboy experiences is having a oc that is actually just a queer happiness fantasy that uses she/it/him because you know for a fact most people would just she/her or at best he/him and never ever use it/its no matter what nor ever use the pronouns interchangeably.
it's so interesting to see the different ways people will avoid calling someone by specific pronouns. if you use it/its alongside she, he, or they people will always ever refer to you by one of those three depending on how they see you. if you're afab and use she/they people will only use she, but if you're afab and use he/they people will only use they. if people have the option to refer to you by your birth gender they will, but if not they'll settle for a "middle ground" by they/theming and avoiding using any gendered terms on you, even if you don't use those pronouns and would prefer gendered terms. it's weird
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punkeropercyjackson · 8 months
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"Unlike antis,us prosh///ippers are nice to others😌"You guys can't even handle dnis
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NOBODY IN MY CLASS IS TRYING FOR THE EVENT IM IN CHARGE OF AND IT ACTUALLY SUCKS SO MUCH BECAUSE EVERY TIME I EXPRESS IM UPSET, PEOPLE EITHER GUILTTRIP ME AND MANIPULATE ME AGAIN OR SHITTALK ME OUR PERFORMANCE IS TOMORROW AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING NOT TO SNAP BUT OH MY FLIPPING GODS
AND ONE OF MY CLASSMATES IS GETTING HERSELF INVOLVED AND STARTING SHIT WHEN IT DOESN'T EVEN INVOLVE HER
ANOTHER ONE OF MY CLASSMATES WAS USING HER AIRPODS WHEN SHE WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE
THAT FRIEND YALL TOLD ME TO DUMP KEEPS GUILTTRIPPING ME
i miss the holidays so fucking much
im not fine but i need to be for tomorrow.
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purpurussy · 2 months
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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sunnibits · 11 months
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I just asked my irl friends this too but I’m rlly curious to know so: can you guys give me any recommendations for new food to try for someone who is an extremely picky eater who’s trying to practice expanding their palette?? like maybe some really simple foods that would be a good place to start, or alternatively pls tell me what food you would recommend to someone who has never eaten food before lmao
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yuukimiyas · 6 months
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g’mornie!! ໒꒰ྀི ◜ ‧̮ ◝ ꒱ྀིა its another lovely day in april!! i hope you all have the v best day EVER!! <33
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nowimhaunted · 9 months
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i don't know if anyone is awake yet but please keep midnight in your thoughts, i am so worried about her because she hasn't eaten in a few days so i took her to the vet and spend like $400 on tests and fluids and they still can't figure out what's wrong with her :( they gave me something to stimulate her appetite, but she still isn't eating. they told me if she doesn't eat at all today then my options are to take her to emergency or considering putting her down because she turns 17 years old this year and she's diabetic. I want to continue to fight for her, but I literally spent all of my money on her tests yesterday and I have nothing else left to take her to emergency. so my options are to either take out a predatory loan or just check myself into the mental hospital if she dies <3
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