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padfootagain · 15 days

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Love in Verses (VII)

Chapter 7 : And so I still wait, like a lonely house, for you to see me and inhabit me again. Until that time, my windows ache.

Hi! Here is another chapter! On the menu for today: lots of aching, some terrible ideas and a plot twist!

I hope you like this new chapter! Tell me what you think!

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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 2148

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Sonnet 65

Matilde, where are you? I only just noticed behind my necktie and above my heart, a certain melancholy between my ribs: It was that, all of a sudden, you are gone.

I needed the light of your energy so much. I looked all around me, devouring hope, and saw that the space without you is a house, with nothing left in it but tragic windows.

In the pure silence now, the roof is listening to the falling of ancient leafless rain, to feathers, to what the night has imprisoned.

And so I still wait, like a lonely house, for you to see me and inhabit me again. Until that time, my windows ache.

Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets, 1959

Elwood was the reason Andrew crawled out of bed the next day. A Sunday morning filled with rain, the colour of the sky matching his mood. The dog came licking at the hand hanging from the side of the bed, and Andrew was annoyed, for sure, but the second his eyes fell on his lovely dog, he could only groan in exasperation and sit up.

He looked at the empty spot in his bed, undisturbed and cold. It felt like staring at the chasm that had claimed his heart since Sam had left. Empty, dark, frightening, lonely…

He didn’t even know who he was anymore. He used to be Sam’s partner, what was he now?

Single.

The word echoed in his head and chest and brought a new set of tears to his eyes. And he had thought about marrying her…

What a fucking fool…

Elwood let out a whimper, looked up at Andrew with begging eyes. God, he had to get up, take care of his dog. He couldn’t just lay there all day, he needed to take Elwood on a walk, despite the rain and his bleeding heart. Feed him, scratch him behind the ears for being a good boy…

Andrew needed to get his body functioning again, there was no use in lying there all day anyway. That was what the logical part of his brain was saying, trying to coax his body into motion, but his muscles simply refused to respond. He was exhausted, didn’t have the strength for it. He knew he couldn’t let himself spiral into a depressive episode, he had to wrestle against it or else he would drown in it.

He heaved a painful sigh.

“I’m coming, buddy. I’m coming,” he mumbled to Elwood.

The dog rubbed his snout against Andrew’s legs as he rested his feet on the cool tiles of his floor. He took a couple of seconds to gather his strength and stood up, his back aching after laying down for too long.

He grabbed his phone as he got dressed in a hurry, checked the voicemail left by his mother asking how he was feeling, his brother’s text, Alex’s five unanswered calls. He tugged the phone in the pocket of his jeans without answering to anyone. He would deal with society and people later, for now, he needed to find the strength to get decently dressed, find his keys, find Elwood’s leash.

He didn’t eat or drink coffee before leaving, he simply secured Elwood’s leash, and walked out of his apartment, brain buzzing with static noise and body numb. He pulled up his hood once he stepped into the street, the feeling of the rain finally bringing him back to reality, anchoring him for a moment.

His head was swarming with thoughts, with questions, with hate towards himself. But more than anything else, he couldn’t understand what was happening. Sam had refused to even move in with him, saying that they needed to grow as people before doing that, saying she didn’t feel ready to share her space with another person. But Andrew was beginning to realise that her refusal had never been about her need to grow, her need for independence, her need for self-discovery. It was about him. Andrew had been the problem all along, and she had strung him along for years, talking about future plans they would accomplish in their thirties, like the finish line was this new decade that stretched ahead of them. But the truth was, she simply didn’t want to do all this with him. He wasn’t enough, and he never was. He was the fucking problem.

And he had thought she was the one…

He still thought she was the one. He still loved her. He still wanted her back.

He waited for Elwood while the dog sniffed around a tree, the rain heavy on his coat, the rhythmic pattern of raindrops drowning the noise of the busy city. And Andrew thought of you, of the weight of your body in his arms as you collapsed last night, the streetlights shining on your tears, the pain in your eyes…

You wanted your ex back as well. Frank. Frank.

Frank who had seduced the love of Andrew’s life, Frank who was now going to marry the woman he loved, Frank who had shattered your heart and was now responsible for your pain…

Frank… Christ, Andrew hated him. He had seen him for only a moment, and yet he hated him. He hated him for all that he had taken from him, taken from you…

And he seemed to be Andrew’s perfect opposite. Handsome. Charming. Charismatic. Extraverted. Blond with blue eyes, a smile to die for, a bubbly personality, the kind who easily made friends, who loved socializing. And he wasn’t a stupidly tall, clumsy tree like Andrew was. He was muscular, clearly worked out a lot. An image you would expect to see on the cover of Vogue magasine. Andrew wasn’t. Andrew wasn’t, and he had thought Sam liked that he wasn’t like that, that he was him. Clearly, he had been wrong. He could feel all of his insecurities bubbling up to the surface again, about his appearance, about his height, about his personality…

Was Sam bored of him? Did she realise he wasn’t attractive or something?

Elwood tugged on his leash, brought Andrew back to the present.

No… no, he couldn’t believe that the last eight years had happened for no reason. And he couldn’t believe that she was going to marry a man she had met two months ago. That wasn’t like Sam at all. She was… she was acting stupid. She was having some kind of crisis, he didn’t know what it was. Maybe she felt bored in their relationship, but he could make efforts for her. To go out more, to develop his social skills, to be more charming, to surprise her more… he would do it. He would hit the gym if she wanted. God, he’d do anything…

This whole situation with Frank made no sense. And Sam needed to realise that she was acting without thinking, clearly, that this was crazy.

The rain got heavier, Elwood was getting cold, so Andrew decided to shorten their walk, and he hurried towards his home again. Head low, staring at the glistening curb, he thought about how he could bring Sam back to her senses. Elwood was pulling on his leash now, cold and wanting to hurry home.

Surely, there was a way to make her see that this made no fucking sense… right?

You were surprised by Andrew’s call that morning. The buzzing of your phone woke you up, you answered with a voice groggy with sleep. He apologised for waking you, asked if you could meet him at a coffeeshop that afternoon. You were taken aback by his invitation, but you accepted anyway. You needed to get out of bed, eventually, and seeing Andrew gave you a reason to get dressed and get your body moving.

You were wearing sweatpants and an old cardigan under your coat as you waited for Andrew to arrive at the coffeeshop, and the truth was, you didn’t give two shites about your appearance today. You were too sad for that, too stunned as well…

You didn’t notice that Andrew was fifteen minutes late, you were busy with your thoughts. When he sat down on the opposite side of the small wooden table, you barely noticed him.

“Hi! Sorry, I’m late…”

“Hi! It’s okay…”

“I hope you didn’t wait for too long.”

“No, that’s alright.”

You forced a smile as your gaze caught his, but you read the same desolation in his reddened eyes, in the dark circles under them. He had spent his night crying too…

“How are you feeling?” he asked a polite question, but you saw in the way he stared at you that he really meant it.

“Terrible. You?”

“Like proper shite.”

“Yeah… I reckon that last night was… a lot…”

“I didn’t know Sam knew Frank. I had no idea…”

“I didn’t know either. I would have told you, had it been the case.”

He nodded, cleared his throat.

“Want a coffee? Tea?”

“Coffee would be nice, thanks.”

He went to get your drinks, offered you a warm porcelain cup when he came back.

“Why did you want to see me?” you asked quite bluntly, but you reckoned there was no reason to circle around the issue.

“Erm… I… I thought we ought to talk about what happened last night.”

“How so?”

“I… First, I want to make it clear that it’s not going to change anything in how I see you. And I… it won’t change anything concerning our work.”

Slowly, you nodded.

“Same. None of this is your fault.”

“Good… grand… I’m glad to hear you say that. Like… I was worried you would resent me for Sam and Frank.”

“Looks like we were both the ones who got fooled.”

“Yeah… big time…”

Andrew was nervous. Very nervous. The way he kept on touching his face, on readjusting his glasses, on rubbing at his palms were obvious signs. He averted his eyes and seemed keen on avoiding all eye-contact for a while. You wanted to reassure him.

“I… I’m not going to lie, I’m devastated by the whole thing. But I’m well-aware that none of this is your fault, Andrew. It won’t change anything in the way I see you, and I won’t resent you or… or feel uncomfortable working with you.”

He slowly nodded.

“Is that why you wanted to see me?” you asked, but Andrew bit on the inside of his cheek for a moment before he would answer.

“Partly, yes. I reckoned that we needed to discuss this together before we would be back at Trinity. But… there’s also… I wanted to talk about something else. I wanted to make you an offer.”

“An offer?”

He let out a long exhale, before finally gathering the courage to look at you again. You stared at his hazel eyes, silently questioning what he meant.

“Look I… I understand that we’re colleagues, that this is highly unprofessional of me but… I love Samantha. I want her back. I want her back, and to be honest, I’m ready to do anything to get her back. And… judging by your reaction last night, and for the past few weeks… I can clearly see that you want Frank back as well.”

“Of course, I want him back.”

“Honestly… this whole thing is ridiculous. It’s nonsense. Sam and I were together for almost eight years and all of a sudden… she gets engaged to a guy she met two months ago?! No offense towards Frank…”

“No, no, I agree! Like… Frank and I were engaged, he pushed back our wedding because he wasn’t ready and all of a sudden he’s ready to marry a woman he barely knows! Like… I’m sure she’s great, but he doesn’t even know her at that point!”

“Exactly! They’re clearly making a mistake, I don’t know what’s gotten into their heads, but it’s madness…”

“It is! And they don’t seem to realise it!”

Andrew nodded, stared at you for a moment.

“I want to make her realise that she’s acting stupid, that she needs to think things through, that this is a mistake. And I think you want Frank to do the same, right?”

“Yes, of course. But I’ve tried talking with him, and he shuts me down every time…”

“Sam does the same. But I’m determined to show them the truth. And I… I want you to help me.”

You blinked, frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“I want Sam back. You want Frank back. We both agree that they’re acting in an illogical way, and that they’re making a mistake. We need to show them, make them realise this whole thing is a terrible idea, bring them back to their senses. But I don’t think we can do that on our own.”

“And what would you propose we do then?”

“We need to show them that this wedding is a terrible idea. We need to ruin their wedding.”

You raised a surprised eyebrow, taken aback.

Ruin their wedding?

Show them they weren’t meant for each other?

Andrew offered you his open hand.

“This would be highly unprofessional,” you added, and Andrew merely nodded.

“It would be, yes. And I’d understand if you refused. But I don’t see another way out. Do you?”

You didn’t. There didn’t seem to be any other way out of this mess. And at least, you wouldn’t face all of this on your own anymore.

You stared at Andrew’s hand, long, pale fingers stretched towards you. When you shook it, your hand seemed ridiculously small in his.

You looked up to catch his hazel eyes with yours again.

“You’re right. Let’s ruin their wedding.”

#andrew hozier byrne #hozier #the hoziest #hozier x reader #hozier x you #hozier x y/n #hozier x fem!reader #hozier fanfiction #hozier fanfic #hozier fic #hozier au #hozier professor au #professor au #hozier series #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #series

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sunburnhurts · 2 months

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Tired || Bruce Wayne x fem!Reader (Battinson)

Summary: Y/n has been supportive of her husband's secret life, but she is exhausted. A year after their separation, they are reunited at Don Mitchell's funeral. The beginning of the story is before the movie, and ofc the mayor's funeral is an event in the movie. The mayors funeral scene isn't exactly like how it was in the movie, but somewhat close.

Words: 2,426

All My Stories

A/n: Hey guys! I haven't posted in a while, I'm so sorry!! I've decided to start doing batman stories, but I'm still doing Cedric ones too! Requests are open! I also wanted to add I have a lot of drafts, so I haven't posted in a while, but I have some stories in the process!

Y/n listens as her husband, Bruce Wayne, shuffles off their bed, onto his feet. She hears his feet against the hardwood floor echoing the dead silent room. She hates it, him waking up in the middle of the night to be Batman.

Ever since he started being Batman, he's been distant. He slowly stopped touching her over the years. He's always be in a different room, on a different end of the couch, different end of the bed.

At first, she excused it as him being tired from saving the city. She would curse herself for being selfish, why should she be complaining when he is saving human beings, bringing good to Gotham? Then she got tired of making herself feel bad.

Y/n tried having conversations with Bruce about his sleep schedule, how much he eats, how much time he spends worrying about being Batman. These conversations always ended in arguments or Bruce not responding to whatever his wife said because he was too busy working on his suit.

Alfred of course noticed Bruce's distance from his wife. He would try talking to Bruce about his worry for Y/n, saying she is lonely during the day without her husband. Bruce would always brush off what Alfred said, worried about 'more important' things to him.

It's not like Y/n was a lonely house wife, she was an actress who was on break. Before she met Bruce, she was in big movies, making just enough money to start a family. When she met Bruce, of course her popularity spiked more. A big actress and a billionaire getting married was big news in the press.

She was now on break from her job because everything became too much for her. Her depression grew from lack of love from her husband. She put herself in therapy, which made her realize she wasn't being selfish. She of course didn't tell her therapist about her husband being batman, covering it up as his new job.

Now, she was listening to her husbands feet taping against their hardwood floor. She let out a breath, listening to him step into the elevator that leads to the 'batcave'. She made up her mind, she didn't want to be trapped in her life, in this mansion.

Half an hour later, she got up, walking over the the same elevator and going down.

"Bruce, we have to talk." She said, stepping out of the elevator, walking over to her husband. She had a calmness in her voice. She heard no answer. As soon as she was behind him, she stopped walking. He was working on something on his desk, she didn't care enough to know what he was working on. "Bruce."

After a hum of a response came from her husband, she hesitated with what she was about to say. This scenario seemed much more easier in her head, the countless times she replayed it in her mind. But once she saw him, it was a lot harder than she was expecting.

"I want a divorce." She plainly said. She watched as her husbands head moved, but didn't turn to look at her. "I've been thinking about it a lot-"

"Are you serious?" He said, fully turning his head around to look at his wife. His voice sounded more angry then upset.

"I've been thinking about it a lot," She repeated, ignoring his question. "and I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" He angrily asked.

"Be ignored!" She shouted, feeling her eyes swell up. She hated that he didn't already know what he's been doing. A clenched jaw was all she got in response. "Bruce," She started. "you haven't touched me in so long."

"I've been busy, you know that."

"You know you're just saying that as an excuse." Hearing this made Bruce turn his body fully to the vulnerable, standing girl. "God, Bruce! I don't even recognize you anymore!"

He shakes his head, scoffing. He moved his eyes everywhere but his wife, his breathing heavy with anger. A ding was heard on his computer, indicating Batman was needed.

"Are you going to get that?" Y/n said, making Bruce's eyes lay on her.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, if you don't be Batman for one night, and you take me back upstairs and show me you love me, I'll take back everything I said about divorce." It was true, one kiss from him would change her mind, she was so desperate for affection and she hated it. She prayed in the back of her mind for him to get up, swoop her in his arms, and take her upstairs. But he stayed still.

He turned his head at the computer, taking a moment to decide. She watched as he got up from his chair, walking over to his suit of armor. Her heart ached. She angled her head to the ground, biting the inside of her lip and bringing her hand up to rub her philtrum. Tears stung her eyes as her throat burned.

She wanted to run to him, grab his face, kiss him. She also wanted to run to him, push him, yell curses at him, ruin all his batman equipment. But she knew better.

Beyond heartbroken, she made her way over to the elevator. She had a slight feeling of selfishness, making him choose between her and a job of a hero, but then she squashed that feeling almost immediately. It should have been obvious to pick his wife, he shouldn't have even had to think about it.

Once Y/n made it back upstairs, she started packing everything. Her clothes, shoes, anything she found that was hers. She couldn't stay there any longer, she couldn't look at Bruce any longer. She was a mess now, tears streaming down her cheeks as she hiccuped her breath.

It wasn't even close to morning, she had no idea where she would be going. Her family didn't live in Gotham, they lived on the other side of the country. She had actor friends that lived near, maybe she could try them. She thought of a girl, Nicole, she worked with that she grew very close with, hoping she could crash at her place for the night.

Y/n took out her phone, clicking on Nicole's contact, and pressing call. She listened to the phone ring while she kept packing her things. "Hello? Y/n?"

"Nicole!" Y/n said in a voice that anyone could tell she was upset. "Um- I'm so sorry for such a late call, I really could use your help right now."

"Of course! What's wrong, sweetie?" Nicole said over the phone. Y/n was younger that Nicole, Nicole was like a mother figure to her.

"I just need a place to stay, only for tonight. I will be out by the morning, I promise." Y/n closed her suitcase, zipped it up and sat on her and Bruce's bed. Her head was in her hands as she tried calming down her tears.

"You can stay for as long as you would like!" Nicole's voice calmed her down, giving her the strength to walk out of the mansion.

After Y/n made a plan to meet Nicole, she hung up and made her way to the kitchen with her bags. Her memory flashed to Alfred, it wasn't fair of her to leave Alfred without saying anything. She didn't want to wake him, so she decided on making a note for him.

She grabbed a note pad and a pen, writing Alfred, thank you for everything you've done for me, I love you so much. - Y/n. Tears stained the sheet of paper, she didn't want to leave Alfred, the man who took her in and loved her when Bruce wouldn't.

When Alfred saw the note, his blood boiled. He knew this was going to happen, but he hated that Bruce let her leave. Alfred immediately busted into Bruce's room, waking Bruce up. "What did you do?" He angrily shouted, holding up the note. "Why did you let her leave?"

Bruce sat up and stretched, waking himself up before he took the note in his hand. He read it, heart beating harder. He thought Y/n just went to sleep in one of their guest bedrooms, he didn't know how serious she was the night prior.

~~~~

Months after the divorce finalized, Y/n was feeling a lot better. She now owned her own house, had a new big movie she was working on, and was happier. She of course never told anyone about Bruce Wayne's big secret, she still respected and loved him. There was no way she couldn't not love him.

Her mind would wonder off, thinking about what would have happened if he did actually pick her up, took her back up to their bedroom, loved her. She wonder if things would have changed, if he actually would have taken her seriously and been better for her. She then would bring herself back to reality, dealing with the harsh reality that that didn't actually happen, and it wasn't going to.

Y/n didn't see Bruce after that night, but she knew he was watching her. She knew what his gaze felt like, she would feel it when she walked on the street, even when she was in her home. Although she was mad at him for spying on her, a part of her loved him for looking after her, for missing her.

The media of course made a big deal about this separation. They created rumors and lies about why they split up, it was always something not even close to the truth. That Bruce cheated on her, that she was having a secret affair with her friend Nicole, or that they both were married as a publicity stunt. It was all stupid.

Whenever Y/n was asked about it in interviews, she would deny the rumors. "It was a 'right person wrong time' kind of thing, I still respect and love him very much." She would always say something of that sort to the public. It was true. She would never answer personal questions about Bruce. Mostly she was asked why he was so reserved for being so well known.

Every now and then, Y/n watched the news about what Batman did the night before. She hated that even after the divorce, he still was saving the city, but what was he supposed to do now? He now didn't have a wife to come home to, how else was he supposed to fill his time, how else was he supposed to take his anger out?

He hated himself for picking being Batman, he missed his wife so much. He ate less, slept less, breathed less. He always wanted to reach out, he wanted to hear her voice, smell her scent, feel her touch. He now knew this is how she felt when he was ignoring her. God, he hated himself.

He would watch over her, make sure she's safe. Make sure she's happy. He heard about her being in a big upcoming movie, he was glad she was living her life, even if it was without him.

When Don Mitchell was murdered, Bruce was invited to the funeral. Although he already knew more about the murder as Batman, he needed to be at the funeral just in case any information was released from anyone. It would be odd if Batman showed up to a funeral.

He dreaded going out. He barely went out in public as Bruce Wayne before the divorce, but now he avoided it even more.

Bruce drove his car through the crowd of people, following where ever he was told to go. Once he was there, he got out of the car and handed the keys to the valet and hands him some money. He hears the press screaming his name to come over to talk to them, but he of course didn't. He was there for one thing.

Bruce followed the other known people into the building, listening to any conversation he can. His eyes stayed on the ground, as if not looking at anyone would make it easier to hear. His eyes glanced up for a quick second, catching a glimpse of a girl whose back was turned to him.

He fully turned his attention to the girl, recognizing her. He stopped in his tracks, heart starting to ache. Y/n stood before him, talking to her friend who he recognized as Nicole. He watched as Nicole noticed him, nudging Y/n, bringing her attention to Bruce. It was the first time since the divorce that they made eye contact.

Y/n's eyebrows furrowed in a mix of surprise and longing. She gives Bruce a closed mouth smile, biting the inside of her lips. She looked behind Bruce, seeing that Mayor Reál was approaching him. Knowing that Bruce hates talking to people, Y/n walks over to Bruce, stopping right in front of him.

Bruce watches as Y/n walks to him, his heart racing, his arms longing for her, but he keeps them still. There was no expression on his face, but she could tell he missed her. Y/n watches as the new to be mayor notices her and walks away, leaving the 2 alone.

"Hello, Bruce." She sweetly says, smiling up at him.

Y/n spent 2 years in her marriage already feeling like they've been divorced, so it didn't take long for her to get herself back on her feet after the divorce. It wasn't hard to see him because of the heartbreak, it was hard to see his dark circles under his eyes, his prominent bones much sharper from lack of food.

"Hey, Y/n." His rough voice responded. He cleared his voice.

They started talking about how they've been since the divorce, Y/n could tell he changed a lot. He was more open to talking about his feelings with her, his eyes never left hers, his eyebrows pulled closer together and lowered as he listened to her talk.

"We should catch up more," Y/n starts, "not here, though." Bruce nods, hoping this meant good for their relationship. "Still have my number?"

"Of course," Bruce gave a ghost of a smile.

"It was nice seeing you Bruce," Y/n places her hand on his arm. "talk later?" Bruce finally broke eye contact to look at Y/n's hand placement. He missed her so much.

He nods while saying, "It was nice seeing you too, Y/n."

Bruce was never mad at Y/n for the divorce, he was always only mad at himself. He never wanted to watch over Y/n while she lived her life, but he couldn't ever help it. He wanted to distance himself as far away from her as possible, but he needed to know she was okay.

When Y/n walked away, back to Nicole, Bruce reminded himself of why he was here. His eyes landed on Don Mitchell's son, the one that found his father dead. He noticed that Y/n was now talking to the widow, Mrs. Mitchell.

Bloody screams came from outside, a lot of commotion from the second story of the church. Bruce looked up and saw someone standing still, not being effected by all the movement and screams. Bruce knew something bad was about to happen, he looked back at Y/n and Mitchell's kid. Y/n was facing Bruce, standing in front of the kid.

Y/n rushed the kid and the mother away from the front of the church. She didn't know what was going on, but she wanted to help. She also didn't know where to go, so she just stood there, looking at Bruce confused and worried.

A car bursts through the church. Bruce runs and grabs Y/n, saving her from being crashed into. They rolled on the ground, stopping a few feet from where she once stood. Stunned by what was happening, Y/n stayed still laying on the ground.

Bruce got up, holding a hand out for her. She grabbed it, helping herself up. "You need to go," Bruce said, still holding onto the girls hand. Before Y/n could say anything in return, people were screaming at the person driving the car to get out.

Bruce and Y/n turn their attention to the car door opening and a man struggling to get out. Something was bolted around his neck, a bomb strapped to him. "Y/n, you need to leave." Bruce said again, this time a lot more serious. Y/n nodded, letting go of Bruce's hand and quickly exited the building.

~~~~

Y/n was safely at her home now, out of the funeral clothes, and was now laying down in her warm bath, rethinking the events that happened hours before. Everything confused her, but she knew it somehow was related to Batman. She then thought about Bruce Wayne.

She missed him, of course, praying he would reach out to her. She knew that it was unfair of her to break off their marriage but then expect him to come running back to her, but she knew he changed. She could tell by the way he spoke, the way he opened up to her, the way he looked at her.

As she thought about this, she heard her phone ping. She didn't think anything of it, ignoring it until she was out of the bath. As she wrapped herself in her towel, she picked up her phone.

Messages: Bruce Wayne Hey

Her eyes widened, heart skipping a beat. She reread the message, making sure she wasn't seeing things. She bit her lips, holding the phone, smiling. She opened her phone, clicking on the message to reply. "Hey" she wrote back. She wasn't sure what else to say, she thought for a moment.

After Bruce sent Y/n the text, he was praying to not mess up the second chance Y/n was giving him. He sat in his batcave, hovering over his phone, waiting for a reply. When his phone lit up, he immediately saw it. "Hey" It read. He picks up his phone, unlocking it and he starts typing, "You looked really beautiful today." But then he erased it, thinking it wasn't appropriate.

Seeing the 3 dots appear from Bruce's profile got her excited, but when they disappeared, she was confused. She put her phone down, getting dressed into her pajamas. Once she came back to her phone, there was no new messages from Bruce. Sighing, she typed something.

"Thank you for saving me, I didn't get to say it earlier." Bruce cracked a smile at this text from Y/n. He was happy that even though he didn't respond, she still texted back. "It's no problem." He wrote back.

"Can we meet up sometime tomorrow, to catch up?" Y/n sent. Bruce immediately replied, "Yeah, 11 at my place?" Y/n smiled, replying with "Yeah, I'll see you then."

Smiling at his phone, Bruce gets up and exits the batcave, making his way to Alfred. Bruce informs him about Y/n coming over, making Alfred ecstatic. He then scolds Bruce about the importance of not messing this up, making Bruce roll his eyes in annoyance. "I know, I'm not going to mess this up."

~~~~

Y/n walks into the Wayne manor, smiling at the guards at the entrance that recognize her, nodding their heads at her as she passed. She turned a corner, seeing Bruce waiting for her at the entrance of the elevator. Smiling, Y/n walks to him. His smile grew at the sight of her, his eyes longing for her once again.

"Hey," She says as they both walk into the elevator.

"Hey," He said, his eyes never leaving her. As the elevator door closed and starting moving up, silence fell between them.

Unsure if the silence was awkward or not, Y/n said with a joking voice, "So, what was that about yesterday?"

"Hm?" Bruce says for a moment before responding with a sigh, "Oh, it's a really long story." He brings a hand up to rub his eyes, which looked very tired.

"So, you're still doing the Batman stuff?" Y/n asks, looking up at him.

Bruce nods, adding, "After our," he pauses for a moment, "uh, divorce, I didn't know what to do with myself." He looks at her, unsure if bringing up the divorce was still a touchy subject or not.

"Yeah," she says, nodding and scratching the back of her neck, "I wanted to talk to you about that- the divorce."

As Bruce nods once more as the elevator doors open. He was unsure how the conversation would go, what she wanted to talk about, but he prayed for a good result.

Bruce paused for a moment, almost holding his hand out for Y/n to grab so he could lead her to the table like they did when they first started dating, but he couldn't. He takes a step out of the elevator and leads Y/n to the table that Alfred set up. He pulls out a chair, allowing Y/n to sit in it, and when she does, he pushed it in for her.

She barely blushed at this action, reminding herself that she can't do that. She sent a smile at him, watching as he sat down in his own seat across from her.

"So, um," She starts, not knowing how to start the conversation. Her head was down, avoiding eye contact. "I just wanted to tell you why I did it, I know I just left and we never got to talk through it,"

"I understand why you left," Y/n looked up, listening to him. "I was a terrible husband, I hate that it took us splitting up for me to realize that." It was now Bruce's turn to avoid eye contact as he spoke, "I'm truly sorry, for everything I put you through. And I know, a sorry is not even close to enough to what you deserve." He was looking down, feeling her eyes on him.

She leans over the table, placing her hand on his, causing him to look at her. "I know you're sorry, and I am sorry too. I made you choose between something you love doing and me, that was unfair of me to do."

"No, but I should have chose you," he pauses for a moment, looking into her eyes, "I want to choose you." His hand that was beneath hers flips so that their hand was resting in his palm.

Y/n looks down at the movement of his hand, then back up at him, registering his words. "And we'll have to work on that."

"Are you saying-"

"Yeah, we'll work on it," She says nodding, "work on us."

The End

A/n: Thank you so much for reading! Request if you have any!

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jesterwriting · 11 months

Note

Hellooo! I hope ur well !! Would it be a bother to ask for a head cannon/scenario list, with Zoro, Nami Sanji and Law? Reader’s lost in their own head, tries to let it out through battle- ends up with just needing to be in the comfortable, silent presence of their crew-mate/captain afterwards? You can take it however direction you want-!

Feel free to skip if it’s too much to ask!! Sending you lots of love and good wishes, hope you have a good day/night and take care of yourself 🫶💞

pairings: nami x reader, zoro x reader, law x reader, sanji x reader

word count: 1.8k words

contents: fluff, gender neutral reader, slight descriptions of depression, don’t fight when youre distracted or youll make your blorbos grumpy and worried

note: this was cute! my favorite way to spend time with someone is sharing a room with them hehe :3 i hope you enjoy these headcanons!!

Cat Burglar Nami

She is so focused on her own fight, she doesn’t notice how lost in your head you are until it’s over. Once everything dies down, that’s when Nami scolds you. If you’re in a fight, you give it your full attention, you could get seriously injured if you don’t. Nami knocks you upside the head for it, with love, of course. You’ll be nursing a bump for the next few hours, though Nami will grab you an ice pack if you whine about it enough. She rolls her eyes, but loves how you lean into her touch when she places the ice on your aching forehead.

Your thoughts are still racing as you pace up and down the length of the Sunny’s deck. If you looked in the mirror, you would swear your eyes were spirals. You couldn’t be alone, not right now, not unless you wanted to go crazy. To make things worse, your head still hurt. Nami sure packs a punch, though you know it's only because she cares. You’re lonely, and while you know she is busy navigating right now, you want her company.

The first thing Nami says when you find her is, “I’m still mad at you!” However, she doesn’t make you leave when you sit on the floor and lean your back on the wall. You watch her hands move, fingers curled around a pen as she works on a map. She narrows her eyes at you when she catches you staring at her, reminding you, yet again, that she’s still angry about you putting yourself at risk. When you give her a sheepish grin, she sticks her tongue out at you before getting back to work. Neither of you speak. As time passes, she relaxes, shoulders slumping and brows furrowed as she focuses. The comforting sound of pen on paper soothes your ailing mind. By the time you realize the sun is dipping under the horizon, your ice pack has melted and is nothing more than a sack of water.

Nami looks at you out of the corner of her eye. “Do you need another one?” When you say yes, she smirks and calls for Sanji, who comes running equipped with dinner and another ice pack for you. Her food is so good, you have to try it, stealing a sneaky indirect kiss from you when you share her fork. With Nami as company, you feel a lot better than you did before.

Roronoa Zoro

He notices quickly that you’re lost in your own head mid-fight — Zoro trusts you, but he can’t help but keep an eye on you during battle — and barks at you to get it together. You were hoping to take out your frustrations on the enemy, only to have clumsy footwork because you couldn’t stop thinking about how upset you feel. Zoro is blunt, but his harsh words come from a place of care. If you get hurt because you’re not paying attention, it’s no one’s fault but your own. That doesn’t mean he won’t worry if something were to happen. After the fact, he will double down on his reprimands. Everyone on the ship is counting on you, not only yourself.

You’re even more frustrated with yourself because he’s right. It’s hard to keep his words out of your head, mingling with the thoughts from earlier until you feel absolutely exhausted. You need peace. Somewhere quiet to lay and stare up at the sky for a while to remind yourself how little you are in the grand scheme of things. To you, your problems may seem big enough to swallow you whole. To the sea, they are nothing. The moon doesn’t care how inadequate you feel, the stars cannot fathom how tired you are. You climb up into the crows nest to be closer to them, in hopes that their indifference will rub off on you.

That’s where you find Zoro. He’s napping, though he acknowledges your arrival by cracking open an eye and giving you a nod. You take that as a sign that it’s okay to join him. With a deep breath, you settle next to him and stared up at the sky, tracing the constellations with your pupils. Zoro’s breathing eventually evens out, his loud snoring filling the space enough to drown out any of the negative thoughts that threaten to spill over. No words are spoken between the two of you, they don’t need to be. You enjoy having the presence of another body next to you, the heat from his skin so close by warming you from the nighttime chill. With the white noise of Zoro’s breathing, and the warm blanket of his presence soothing your thoughts, you drift to sleep.

The next morning you wake up with your head on his chest. Zoro is awake, acknowledging you with a grunt before he scoots out from over you and leaves the crow nest. Not before sending you a smirk, as if he hadn’t been letting you cuddle him for the better part of an hour, “Sleep well?”

Trafalgar Law

He notices you’re lost in your own head before the fighting even starts. Law is observant, he knows you like the back of his hand, studying your expressions and mannerisms until he can name your emotions before you can even recognize them. It’s likely he recognized your frustrations the night before, choosing to give you time to work them out on your own. If you don’t, he benches you. Don’t try to fight him on it. Unless you’re able to work through what you need to work through in the next ten minutes, you’re sitting this one out. It’s not that Law doesn’t trust you or have faith in your abilities, he knows that the enemies you’re about to fight are strong and you need to have your whole head in the game. He can’t have you getting hurt on his watch because he failed to recognize the signs that you might be suffering under mental duress.

After the battle, the ship is loud and full of celebration, none of which you want to take part in. Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve it because you didn’t do anything, or maybe you were just too exhausted, being alone with your negative thoughts while the fighting went on. Unable to stand it, you left in search of somewhere quiet. Not alone, you weren’t sure if you could handle being alone right now, but with someone to breathe the same air. If there is one place on the Polar Tang that would be quiet, it would be wherever Law is.

Law raises an eyebrow when you slink into his office. He’s in the middle of reading a book, one leg crossed over the other as he lounges in his chair. “What do you need,” He asks. You shrug and say you don’t want to be alone right now. Law can understand that, gesturing quietly to the chair across from his desk before he’s absorbed back in his book. You share the silence well. While you count the ceiling tiles, you listen to the sound of Law turning the pages of his book. Occasionally, Law will clear his throat, but that’s the only sound you get from him. It’s comfortable, companionable even. You could do this more often. Law’s presence is sturdy and makes you feel safe, the thoughts that run rampant in your head quiet in your captain’s presence.

Hours pass like that, until finally, Law closes his book and announces he’s going to bed. That’s your cue to leave. Before you’re out of your seat, Law asks if you feel any better, smirking a little to himself when you confirm you are. He enjoys sharing a space with you, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. You’re welcome back in his office anytime.

Black Leg Sanji

He is always watching you during a battle, just out of the corner of his eye. Sanji is naturally protective, especially of those he loves. Asking him not to worry about you during a fight is like asking a dog not to bark. Due to this, he notices how lost in your head you are almost the second the fighting starts. He takes care to watch your back, driving back the worst of the assailants to make up for your worse than average performance. After the fighting dies down, he asks if you’re doing alright and reminds you to take care of yourself in case something happens. He won’t always be there to protect you. Sanji doesn’t know what he’d do if you got seriously injured on his watch. More than likely, he’d blame himself for not protecting you properly.

You don’t have to seek Sanji out. After the fight, he asks if you would like anything to eat, offering to let you spend time with him in the kitchen while he cooks. Whether you’re hungry or not, you at least take Sanji up on his offer to spend time together. You still can’t think straight, the battle being nowhere near satisfying in getting your emotions out. Being alone right now is not high on your list of priorities. The two of you fall into step with each other as you make your way to the kitchen, and already his presence is a balm to your racing thoughts.

Sanji is truly at home in the kitchen. You know that now more than ever as you watch him cook. It’s like a dance, one he knows perfectly, and there’s a certain sense of grace to his every move. At first, Sanji will try to make conversation, though he slips into a comfortable silence when you explain you would rather not talk right now. He understands, offering you a kind smile before he’s back to work at the counter, chopping vegetables and sprinkling spices into the food. The comfort of a home cooked meal is just what you need, especially since Sanji cut the vegetables into the shape of little hearts. So focused on your meal, and Sanji’s beautiful blue eyes, you can’t remember what you were so upset about.

After you finish your meal, Sanji is insistent that you let him know you feel better before you leave. Give him a big smile and watch him flush, starry eyed at your expression. He feels better now that he knows you feel better. Anytime you need, you can come find him and he will spend time in silence with you, happily cooking you a meal.

#one piece x reader #nami x reader #sanji x reader #zoro x reader #law x reader #.jesterwrites #FIRST TIME WRITING NAMI WOOHOO

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kusakiguzen · 22 days

Text

Bts x Reader (8th member)

A/N: Okay hear my tf out. I abolish one of my rules of not writing about human people, I hate being hypocrete hence i'm getting rid of this rule, in which i say i don't write about people (still a lil uncomfy but this fic has been on my mind and it is hindering my writing of other fics). Just sit back and enjoy this bullshit since i haven't read anything like this. One of the scenes were inspired by song like "My R" English version. And other songs too.

Warnings: Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, copying,etc idk. I do not condone the behavior done by the reader in this fic. There are events that did happen in real life. If you feel like the doing the shit that the reader did, please contact help as its not healthy. This is mostly fiction and a fragment of my imagination.

You were a normal person, going through a tough time. Depression and stress taking its toll, You took up selfharm, scars littering all over your arms and stomach. Pressure from parents about their expectation getting heavier and heavier.

But then you heard them.... Their song for the first time. BTS or 방탄소년단; RR: Bangtan Sonyeondan. Their heavenly voice, their goofiness was your comfort in those dark times, you even stopped cutting your self because Namjoon (RM) said he'd shave the eyebrows of people who don't take care of themselves ( and if you don't study, Listen to him people), Laugh with them and be goofy while watching Run BTS, Eat with Jin while watching EatJin. They saved you, helped you, behind the screen, even without meeting them in person. They were you saviors. You even learnt Korean, so you can understand and learn their songs, all 230 of them.

You hated when people judged them for smallest of things, unnessecary hate they got, stupid rumors.... Everything like that. You wished you could protect them like they did to you. But you couldn't.... Its fine All of you and Army together can. So it was fine. They were your escape, Escape form reality and this world.

But you can't escape reality forever. It always catches up, it haunts you. And soon even they couldn't save you from you attempting to take your life. But I guess they did save you by going live when you planed to end yourself. But good things never last. On a particular day, it was too exhausting, you felt numb, lifeless, like a shell with no purpose. While on the end of the side walk, waiting for the light to turn red ( for the cars?) You were picking a song to listen to, you started walking, didn't see the truck coming.

You saw two headlights coming closer by the seconds, your fingers clicked on a song, just before the impact, You heard the lyrics of "I NEED U" and the only thought in your mind was

"Ah shit, I'm gonna die without even going to their concert..... haaaahhh"

And you saw black, and were welcomed by nothingness.

You were in there for what felt like hours, before being welcomed with bright light and the smell of sanitizer and disinfectents. Hissing, you opened your eyes and saw the white ceiling of the hospital, and two people on each sides who noticed your conciousness.

They were calling your name, asking if you were okay, the only problem was

They were speaking Korean

Words came out of your mouth instinctively. Matching the language of the two strangers,

"Who are you?"

Yo were terrified, did you get kidnaped while being unconscious? or is you brain playing tricks since the last thing you heard was Korean?

You saw doctors panic and checking every thing, But before you could say anything your head started spining and you lost consciousness again, The last thing you hear was the sound of doctors and the two strangers telling you to stay with them.

Welcomed by darkness again, but soon something started playing in front of you like a movie. You realised that it was a child's life story. A child who was lonely, isolated and extremely shy. You say the child be bullied, picked on, the two people who were with you in the hospital room dismissing the child. It stopped after you saw her get hit by a truck.

Then it stopped. And you saw the girl crying in what looked like a puddle. You went up to her and you guys talked, laughed and all in all had a fun time.

Then she said something and you again woke up in the hospital.

Please take care of my body and live like you want to in this life, for the both of us...... Don't try to avenge me, Okay Unnie*?

You woke up in the same hospital bed surrounded by the same people. But that girls words just kept spining in your head. What did she mean?

You sat up and saw your hands and dread washed over you, These were hands of a child, specifically the little girl you met the darkness.

You shouted asking for a mirror which the women beside you gve it to you....... No Fucking way, you became a child? The same child you met? Then it clicked, the words of the girl. OH MY GOD! you thought reincarnation only happed in Manhwas or Anime. So Wtf is this? did you get reincarnated in a Manhwa? Anime?

You were utterly shocked, absolutely baffeled. But composed yourself immediately, and asked for the date. It was February 15th 2007. Then you asked your age and were told you were 14, go to Gwaneum Middle School. Why did that name sound so familiar to you?

You were soon discharged and taken back home in Daegu Town, Again it sounded so familiar to you but you brushed it off as it being the body's memory.

After a month your school started and you met him.......... Min Yoongi..

WTF? Huhh? how? wat?? Okay you are probably dreaming, yup this dream.

You walked up to him and introduced yourself to him, but he just looked at you nodded and left, leaving you behind before you could say anything.

'Okay that was awkward' you thought

After that day, you started to befriend him, atleast try to, but he was extremly shy and isolated. But you still stayed, sometimes buying him food to show your sencierity and help him out knowing he didn't have much .

You also wrote all the BTS songs in a diary with a lock. wrote some other songs that were your favorite in another diary, since now you know why you were here. To help and protect them like you wanted and promised. That's right you were going to work a million times harder. Yes For them.

You weren't making progress in breaking down the walls around Yoongi's had built around his heart all of these years, but you weren't going to give up. So you kept trying, and trying. Doing things like joining him for lunch, buying him food and telling him you brought too much and he can have the extra, taking the bus with him and paying for him. Helping him without hurting him.

You finally broke down the walls he created after one incident. Yoongi being shy and unconfrontational stayed out of trouble, So if he'd get bullied he would take it.

One day Yoongi was late for lunch so you went to look for him, found him in the back of school wet with milk, and the carton lying near him, being bullied. He was clutching another one refusing to let go of it. The boy was hitting and slapping Yoongi's head and laughing at him while other boys record.

You saw red, Fucking bitch try to touch your Yoongi? Your SUGA? The kind hearted boy? You started voice recording and approaching them. With a sickly sweet voice you told them to leave Yoongi alone and asked him to come behind you. The boys whose name you didn't even try to get to know started insulting you and calling you names. Going as far as grabbing your shirt and ripping off some buttons. You screamed on purpose and started to "cry" and then the boys stopped recording, Bingo. You sneakily stopped recording yourself and then got up and said

"You Got 5 seconds to apologize."

5....

4...

they started laughing and mocking you

3..

Yoongi telling you to get away from there

2......

the boys again try to touch your chest but....

1.....

Lets just say they will never think of even looking in your direction after that.

You were called to the principal's office for that, and Yoongi wanted to accompany you to testify but you told him its fine and left alone. He never felt so powerless in his whole life. If you didn't know how to fight, who knows what would have happened.

You stood in front of the principal's office and pretended to cry. You guess all the extra curriculars your paents made you take did come in handy. You entered with puffy bloodshot eyes, red nose and cheek. Right of the bat the parents of the boys started accusing you and calling you a bitch and other derogatory names. You calmly told them that what you did was self defence. Again it went right over the parents head and now they were calling you a liar. Okay they refuse to settle this normally, you pulled out the recording from you phone, and placed it in front of them, playing it. They obviously were taken aback but composed themselves, It was the the principal's turn. He started to berate you, and took the recording and broke it.

Okay, so they chose the hard way, hhhaaaaaahhh you hoped they wouldn't be like this but it has to be done.

You fake pouted, looking at them. Looking back at the broken record and just started laughing.... Hard like a mad man. Then said...

"I guess it was real, what they show in all the k-drama. So I have to take revenge like how they do in them... Pity i was hoping to settle this peacefully."

Then you played something else.... The video of them bullying Yoongi.

How do you think your company will fare when they find out about this and the things you said right now? Hmm?

Taking out the recorder that you had kept ON for proof.

You smiled as you saw all their face turn pale. They started begging you, apologizing, While on their knees. Ahhhhh this feels good. You got up and tried to leave, when they asked if you'd forgive them. You looked back and smiled saying...

"Apologize to Yoongi like that and maybe I'll consider it, ne~~"

They did, They apologized to him on their knees making Him extreemly surprised. This is when Yoongi and you became close. After school that day, he grabbed your sleeve gently while you guys were walking to the bus station, you turned around and he was holding the same banana milk carton. He looked at you and then offered you the milk, catching you by surprise. He then said how you mentioned you liked banana milk but kept forgetting to buy it, so he bought one for you. You gently took it from his hand and started drinking it, you said it was the best thing you had tasted/drunk in a while, while a blush coated your face.

Your relationship changed and you both became inseparable, he became more expressive and talkative with you too. This lasted till Yoongi got a girlfriend. She was a sweet girl from your class whom you both befriended, when they announced that they were dating, everything changed. You often found yourself alone while they went on awkward dates, and the girl did tell you to keep a boundary now that he was in a relationship. You understood where she was coming from but you wanted to maintain the friendship.

This caused an argument, and you backed off. You distanced yourself from them to the point you stopped talking to either of them. And during that time you were selected for a compitation to represent Daegu Town. You went to Seoul to compete in it, and thats where you met another member, Kim Namjoon aka Rap Monster, representing Ilsan. The compatition was tough and you lost by 1 point. You and Namjoon did become friends after that and kept in contact. Till the few months Yoongi was dating, you got close to Namjoon. But after a few months Yoongi's girlfriend broke up. And boom a heartbroken and rain soaked Yoongi was standing in front if your door looking absolutely heartbroken.

Without hesitation you let him in, shoved him in the shower while cleaning up the water all over the place, reheating some food for him, You had made rice and Kimchi-guk (kimchi soup) since it was raining. Yoongi came out soon as you plated the food, a towel on his neck, still with the blank face which he made when he tried to hide his emotions. You sat him own on the floor, giving him the food and taking the towel to dry his hair. He was eating quitely but then suddenly spoke up...

"She broke up with me....."

"Huh?"

"My girlfriend.... she broke up with me...."

You knew this would happen but it still hurt to see him like this, you had realised that he didn't want you to press further or feel guilty for his sake. So you just hummed and then got up to get another towel because the one you were using got too wet and wasn't absorbing the water. Just as you were about to get up, his hand grabbed yous and a soft whisper of "stay" came out of his mouth. You wanted to tell him you'll be back but as soon as you turned around you saw Yoongi barely able to hold back his tears.

The towel was long forgotten and you immediately wrapped your hands around him bringing him into a hug, sat in silence while his tears soaked your shirt and you alternating between rubbing his back and playing with his hair. After he calmed down, you showed him to you spare room and made him sleep there since he is not n the right mind to drive or even walk.

After you made sure Yoongi was asleep, you slowly crept out of the room and went into you room. Because today, you and Namjoon were going to talk on the phone. You apologised for being late and explained that your friend had an emergency, he was understanding and you guys talked for hours about music and switching to studied whenever his parents or sister entered the room. You guys had planed to meet in 2 days but you had to postpone because of Yoongi. He said he didn't mind and you scedueled it for the next weekend.

The friendship between you and Yoongi grew even more, which you didn't even know was possible. He never put you second, and tried to redeem himself for the time he lost. On the other hand you visited Namjoon every other weekend and your bond grew stronger with him as well.

Few years passed and nothing really changed much, You life remained the same. Until for your high school trip you all were going to Gwangju Metropolitan City, where you bumped into Jung Hoseok. The world is a really small place. You both apologized and went your own ways, but fate had different plans for you. You separated from you group and strayed away to an unfamiliar area, and your phone was dead, suddenly 2 creeps started questioning you and trying to get you to come with them. That's when you saw Hoseok, and feeling scared you just loudly screamed "There you are!!! I was waiting for you" jogging up to him, he was sharp enough to understand the situation. He grabbed your hand and "reprameneded" you about staying from the group. He started leading you away as your hands trembled, as soon as they were out of sight, you knees gave out, if not for him you would have fallen hard. He was extremly worried. After few minutes you regained your composure and stood up with his help, You both walked to the nearest park where he sat you down, ram to a vending machine and got you a drink.

He gave you his phone so you could call for help but you were still a little shaken up. Absentmindedly you dialed Yoongi's number and gave it to Hoseok so he could talk since she was shaken up.

On the other hand You felt pathetic, at 14 you defended Yoongi from some rich and entitled people and now your trembling because of some random stranger? The reason was because this is an unfamiliar teritory, you don't know anything about this place. You really didn't want think about what could have happened if Hoseok didn't show up.

After Hoseok was done talking to Yoongi about the situation, turned his attention towards you, Yoongi had told him that he called your teacher and asked if Hoseok could keep you company while the teacher arrived, He already planed to do that so he agreed. You teacher came, obviously very worried and took you back not before thanking Hoseok. You handed him a note that had your number telling him how it would be nice to become friends with him.

During that week of your stay there, you met up with Him almost every day. You and him became pretty close and even after you left, you both kept in contact.

A year later, Yoongi told you about how he was going to audition to become a producer, which you encouraged and also told him how you'd accompany him. So in 2010, at the ripe age of 17, he joined the Big Hit Entertainment. You also got accepted, which left you confused but you weren't complaining. You were introduced to Namjoon by Yoongi, expecting you to not know him, but was very surprised to see you give him a hug and tell him how you missed him. You also met Hoseok again, and told Yoongi about him and how you met in the high school trip, and how they both talked. This eased the tension between the members, having a common topic to talk about, YOU.

A year later, you met the younger members during their training, an extremly shy Jeon Jeong-guk, The cute Kim Taehyung. But due to the age difference you couldn't get close to them, which made you sad, but it was understandable. You also met WWH, Kim Seokjin, you didn't get along immediately but still got along fine.

Another year later you met Park Jimin. He got along with Taehyung, as expected. And soon enough another year passed and BTS was formed, with an addition, YOU, L/N Y/N. Which the Hyung line (except Jin) was happy about since they already knew you, you were their back bone, Helping in every way possible, from cooking for them to helping them practice, no matter how tired you were. You always made sure they ate and healthy.

Their first song, "No More Dream" was released. Not getting much attention, which you expected but the others were much more disappointed. But you were there this time, helping them through it all.

And you made a solo album but the twist you copied songs like Labour by Paris Paloma, Alone by Nico Collins, Favorite by Issabel Larosa, and many more. You made sure they will still get the attention in the future.

For years, they worked hard but to nothing satisfying enough to make too much profit. It caused rifts between the member and the mental and physical exhaustion taking a toll on them. You yourself were barely holding it together, with the constant arguments, them neglecting their health. You were practically holding all of them together. But you were only human, during one argument between the members, you snapped, so fucking hard that it scared all of them. Tears rolling down your face, while you voice getting Hoarse from the shouting, after you were done, you felt nothing. And words came out with nothing but a whisper...

"I can't do this anymore...."

And with that you left the apartment, with nothing. When the members recovered from the shock, you were long gone. Yoongi being your childhood friend, ran out the door trying to search for you. It was late at night hence not safe for you to be outside, especially alone. He was soon followed by the others, Shouting your name, running around the neighbourhood, Tears clouding the younger member's eyes, fearing your safety, and about your words before you left. Your words playing in everyone's mind, haunting them.

After an hour of searching with nobody being able to find you, they returned home, hoping, begging for you to come back.

On the other hand, you felt like shit, the last thing they needed was you snapping and walking out on them. You took a walk for a while (like 2-3 Hours) without realizing the time, collecting your thoughts.

Back with the BTS members, they were coming to realization, you cooked for them 3 meals every day. You were up before them and slept after making sure all of them ate and were comfortable. You made sure they get a healthy and nutritious meal 3 times a day, atleast 5-6 hours of sleep, and also made sure to clean the apartment. Fuck, for years you did so much. You held them together. But who held you together? You had their backs but who had yours? You let them unwind in your arms but where did you take out your emotions? You helped them but who helped you? Not them... not anyone... Because you never showed it, Never once... They were too busy dealing with their own emotions to notice yours....

Man they felt like shit. No wonder you left. Who could blame you? They would leave too if they were you, long before this, you held on for soo long.... You were so strong, so amazing. God they couldn't describe what they were feeling in that moment. And their tears started to fall, without them realizing it.

You obviously came back to apologize for your out burst, but met with tear filled eyes of your other members. They were apologizing, with broken voice and sobs. You were surprised and also started to apologize, hugging them, and they compalined how you were still worried about them, to which you laughed and told them its second nature to you at this point.

After that day, they started to help out more around they house, with another rule, you will sleep with one of the members (not like that you unholy little shits), cuddle so they could make sure you get enough sleep too. They soon realized how different you acted when you were calmer. Your bond grew as a team and also this also stopped them from disbanding. They also became very over protective of you. Any signs of discomfort and they were beside you. Which you were grateful for.

But nothing goes as fucking planed, like fate loves to fuck with you, Since you all shared a place means no privacy, just your luck. You had brought your diary with you, the same diary you wrote all their songs in. It was locked obviously but one unfortunate day, it was found, by none other than your Leader. You didn't have to worry about it before since you always cleaned, but things changed and the others started to help out around the house. And everyone got curious when Namjoon brought it out, there were 2 of them, one obviously filled with what looked some pages added. There was one more thing, an old carton of banana milk, Yoongi recognized it immediately and got extremely flustered. Yoongi was unfortunately able to figure out the code, how? It was his birthday 090393, As soon as he started to read it, he felt sick, and vas about to vomit, dread washing over him, it was so sick. What do you mean when you wrote that you had died and woken up in someone else's body? What the actual fuck was this. Yoongi dropped the diary and ran towards the bathroom and vomited all the contents of the lunch. One by one all of them read it, not the whole way just the few pages. But all of them realized something and they needed answers. So they waited for you to come home.

You came home ready to tell everyone to freshen up while you cooked. But the moment you entered, you saw all seven of them sitting on the couch and their lied your diary. You dropped everything you were carrying as their gaze turned towards you, trembling with a face that show how horrified you were, instinctively your hand came to cover your mouth, griping it tightly. They were just looking at you until Jungkook spoke up.

"Noona... please tell me the things in this diary is a joke" looking at you, pleading for you to agree with him, hands trembling. Jin was next to speak up

"Y/N..... answer him... Is it true?" His voice betrayed the face he was making.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE ANSWER HIM!!" Yoongi shouted at you making you and the others flinch since Yoongi never raises his voice. That moment, all eyes were on you, waiting for an answer.

Your voice was soft, they wouldn't have caught it if the room wasn't so silent.

"Yes.... Everything in it is true.... I did die and woke up in this body... I- I wanted to tell you guys but...." Your voice was trembling, you were terrified of the changes that will come in your relationship. Shocked and horrified, they just left you there in the living room, to comprehend what you just said. It hit Yoongi the hardest since he knew you for the longest.

Everything changed after that day, they started to avoid you like a plague. No matter how hard you tried, hell they wouldn't even eat the food you made.

You were getting more and more numb as the days passed, this was torture for you. You had made your life's purpose to help them, stay with them... Live for them, but they don't want you there, No reason to live... Right? You reached you breaking point when they excluded you from the song you all were working on. That day you returned home, lay on the bed till it was almost time, thinking about what could have been while waiting for the others to return. Just before the time of their return, you grabbed your phone and left the house. Tonight you were going to end your suffering along with the burden you've been carrying with you.

You didn't know they returned early. Jimin saw you leaving, and his gut had this feeling he couldn't describe it, it could be called dread but it was much worse. So he inform the other members and they understood, and then all of them started to follow you, secrately.

You were out of it while walking to a certain building. You've been watching it, observing the time people left it and when you could access it, without disturbance. You reached the building, it had about 12 story high, so death won't be instant but you could take a few minutes of pain. You took the stairs, slowly making your way up. When you reached the top, you started to walk closer to the edge, there was space on the other side of the railing. You too off your shoes, let your hair down ( if you have short hair ignore this line) and went on the other side and just sat down. Hair flowing with the cool breeze giving you moments of comfort before it was all about to end. You got up, closed your eyes while turning to the roof top, holding the bar, and leaning over the edge and then you let go. Suddenly you felt a hand hold yours, leaving you dangling over the building. You opened your eyes to see Jungkook holding your hand with all his strength while also holding the railing with the other.

He was grabbed by Namjoon, so he let go of the railing and held you using both of his arms. Hoseok also joined him to help while Jin held him. You smiled at them softly and then whispered

"I'm Sorry." And then used your feet to push yourself out of his grip, but Hoseok caught you and Jungkook didn't let go.

When they were finally able convince you and coax you , to pull yourself back up on the roof with their help, you did. And then were met by a slap by Jimin and then hugged by him, speaking incohearent words between his loud and heartbreaking sobs, soon others were also hugging you trembling but Jungkook and Hoseok stood a little far looking at their hands. After the others let go of you, you made your way to the two members standing looking at their hands. How could you be so stupid? Traumatizing a literal child because of your selfishness. Softly you called their name and they snapped out of whatever they were thinking and look at you, back at their hands. Tears now steaming down their face as they tackled you in a hug crying loudly.

After everyone clamed down, They asked you about your past life and you told them, leaving the part out where they were famous because you were scared something might happen to them if you did tell them. They were very curious, and you found that adorable. While you were reminiscing, you casually mentioned about your suicide attempts in your past life, and how they saved you then as well, Traumatizing them further.

The other members then told you that they were avoiding you because they wanted to process things and also ask about the whole back story, Yoongi apologized for yelling, telling you he wasn't angry, Just scared for you and what you went through alone. You understood their reaction, and told them it was fine. This raised even more concerns because you are acting like you didn't just try to kill yourself just a few seconds ago. This was voiced by Yoongi and you told him that you were used to dealing with mental burdens alone. Which RM interrupted and told you you aren't alone like you were in the past life. You have them, everyone nodded at that statement and you chuckled due to how cliche it sounded and how comical they looked nodding like that. That night on that roof, all the secrates you kept to yourself, all out in the open. You felt vulnerable but it wasn't necessary a bad thing.

You were happy that it was now no longer a secrete because, you can express yourself more and not act like everything was okay every time.

Its Okay Not To Be Okay. ( see what i did there?)

After that incident, they never left alone, atleast one member will accompany you, everywhere. You want to cook, let Jin join. You want to paint? Jungkook is ready with supplies. You want to produce music? Suga is waiting for ya. You wanna perfect your choreography? J-Hope and Jimin are waiting in the dance studio. You wanna nap? You can ask anyone. You want to practice your vocal? V is ready to help.

You also released a SOLO called "HEAL" which had 2 songs ' My R' and 'Miss wanna die'. which represented the sucide attempt but also a senario where "what if Jungkook wasn't able to reach you." It stared every members and their grives when it happend, it was raw with feelings. The music video replaying the events of the day with some extra touches. Like a devestating screem of Yoongi as you fell from the roof. and some more emotional stuff. It was there to serve as a reminder to you and the group of what you went through together. You also got a tattoe, a mix of a semicolan and a butterfly sybolising new begining.

Every day was the same until.... You got a call. Caller ID displaying the name "Eomma" (mom). You picked up and greeted her, she returned the greeting and then started to ask about your how your music and stuff was doing, you told her it was going great. To which she replied how happy she is and then told you how your whole family was in Seoul and they wanted to meet. You were suspicious because the last time you saw her or even spoke to her was in the hospital, when you woke up in this body. You reluctantly agreed, She was happy to hear that and told you to wear a pretty dress and look decent and the coming Sunday meet them at the Wangbijib Sicheong Mugyo. You told the other members, Yoongi told you in private that he also has the same suspicions as you and asked if he could accompany you along with Jin. You agreed since it would be more comfortable with them around.

Since it was a fancy restaurant, you made the to males wear tux, and you wore a a Gown (something like this or you can imagine whatever you want). Soon you all reached there and met with the sight of 4 unfamiliar faces along with your family. You made your way to them slowly and after reaching politely greeted them with a low bow. Your mother introduced the women as Ji-eun, the man as Dong-hyun, the boy as Hyun-woo and the girl as Jin-a. You introduced yourself while taking seat and also introduced you band members Min Yoongi and Kim Seokjin.

Your mother asked why you were being accompanied by them to which you replied policy. They understood and stated ordering, while holding a pleasent conversation. The food arrived and everyone started eating. You knew something was up because Hyun-woo kept stealing glances, and Ji-eun was gushing how well mannered you were and how beautiful you looked. Then they came to the point which made you deadpan. Marriage.....

You Parents decided to arrange your marriage with one of their bussiness partner's son. The moment this was brought up Jin choked on his drink while Yoongi's mouth fell open. You calmly wiped your mouth with the napkin provided, and interrupted the two women who were gushing about how you both should get engaged as soon as possible, by saying something that horrified both of them...

"Sorry to burst your bubble but i have no interest in marriage."

I mean why would you wanna marry someone when you have dedicated your whole life to BTS? You planed to stay by their side and marriage or even a relationship will hinder with your plans. So its a big No.

You mother tried to brush it off as you being funny but you interrupted again telling them you were serious. Your mother became furious and started to go on rant about how you need to have a good husband and children before its too late and you should stop wasting time. Your brother who was silent the whole time spoke up saying he respected your choice, infuriating your mother even more.

Jin and Yoongi stayed silent not knowing what to do. Ji-eun started telling you about her son and how successful and hansome he is. You pointed at Jin calling him the most handsome man you've met also using his infamous nickname WWH. This infuriated her and the dinner ended right then and their. Your brother drove you and the guys, telling you that he will always be there for you and not to worry about mother, and he will handle everything. He told you to live your life, which not gonna lie made you a bit emotional.

After your brother dropped you off, you gave him a hug and told him to keep in contact. The two elder members had told the others while you were busy with your brother effectively causing chaos.

Your brother kept his promise and shifted all of you in a bigger home for privacy and comfort, but mainly he didn't like the idea of you sharing a room with hormonal men who can take advantage of your kindness, his words not yours. Life went back to how it was.

Years passed and BTS then blew up, and hate for you started to pour in, about how you were ruining the group. It didn't bother you though, it was natural. But you couldn't say the same for the others. They made a firm statement on every platform, saying any hate towards you is a hate towards all of them, as they were a team.

But one incident where an interviewer had targeted you, bringing up all the hate and rumors to try to fluster you, but even before you could respond, the members got up and started walking away, you were picked up by RM and all of them just walked off. Since it was live the moment they stepped out, all the members reposted the statement and also stated that they will no longer be going to interviews like these.

Everyone soon found your solo album and boom all the haters who questioned your singing and dancing shut up. You don't show off in the band music because you wanted them to shine, but you don't have that restriction when you do solos.

Your other SOLO "HEAL" was also discoverd and people started to hate on you again for writing a song so sensitive without experiencing what those feelings were. You and all the members went live after having enough of the contovercies and reveled your sucidal past. This made people feel very guilty but you understood. You alsi made a statement saying misunderstanding happen and its fine. You were loved more after that.

You also made another solo, This time it had Alan Walkers future songs, You made sure to include him since he did produce so the only thing you did was sing his songs. SUGA was also there to help produce since you aren't allowed to be alone. He wouldn't admit it but he was a little jealous that you went to another producer and not him

That album blew up even more and you got your own fan club like the rest of them. And you were happy. But you didn't consider something..... Their developing feelings for you....

Namjoon was the first to fall for you. For him, it was love at first sight. The day of the competition in Seoul, he saw you and his heart beat increased. The way you'd carry yourself with such elegance and confidence, and during the competition, your voice was smooth but carried authority. Plus he never met someone who could match him like such . He was so sure you would win but you didn't, you lost by a single point. He wanted to congratulate you, who knows maybe get you number..... He over heard you telling someone that since you found him cute and let him win.. He left but then you came up to him and congratulated him and also gave him your number. Overtime, the more you chatted, the more his feeling developed,.......

Yoongi, even after being self aware, did not realise his feeling towards you. After getting a girlfriend, he subconsiously started comparing her to you, never saying it out loud. But all the little thigs you did to spoil him, or when you always hold his his hand while crossing the road or when you both are in crowded places. And after you started to avoid him, he would do the little things only to realize you weren't there. His girlfriend noticed, and decided to end the relationship. Yoongi was a gentleman, but it was you you who made him a better version of himself. She realized and ended it, Of course as expected, Yoongi didn't know, or understand why, She actually felt bad but it had to be done. She did offer they stay friends, He accepted and left, And for some reason it felt right to her. She figured Yoongi went to you. The next time they met alone, it was awkward but she finally told him,

"It was Y/N-nie that you have feelings for, not me. The feeling you felt towards me were just a reflection of what you felt towards her. I can guarenty it since i just know that you went to her after our break up, not that it bothered me since its a habit of yours.... You always go to her in the time of need and you always look relaxed with her... It isn't platonic Yoongi-sunbae.... You love her, more than you realize it. Please think about it."

She then left after giving a shallow bow. Reaching home he laid in his bed wide awake, even when his mind and body were begging him to sleep, her words fresh in his mind 'it isn't platonic...... you love her, more than you realize' . Does he? I mean he finds you absolutely breath taking, he also love all the small quirky habits you had. And god that smile, That smile which lights up his world....... Fuck he really does love you doesn't he.... And after realising it, it just started to grow him. Maybe he might act on them, maybe in the future.

Kim Seok-Jin's feelings were developed the most normal way. It became from friends to crush. He was delighted to find out that you would be a trainee with him, and he also helped you better your pronounciation skills, and you helped him with dancing. And he slowly started to fall for you. He was going to act on it but stopped when you mentioned you aren't looking for a relationship and want to focus on being a better idol. It made him sad but he understood. It also made him fall for you more, you passion and determination.

Jung Hoseok's feelings were complicated due to trust issues and past relationship, where his girlfriend cheated on him. So he prefered platonic since you were also popular with the guys, and you were also best friends with a guy, Min Yoongi, a fellow trainee. He didn't want to make things complicated, even though he belived you both will never be in the same group. He remembers you from when he saved you, and how you dialed Yoongi's number instead of your parents, and you two were practically inseprable even during the training. He had mixed feelings about this since you never talked you the other female trainees (you did but just never showed it). But he couldnt resist your charms, your passion, your hard work..... And your caring nature. He fell, Hard. He knew there will possibly be a love triangle but he didn't mind.. Its not like his rivals will be in the same group right? (lol)

The Maknae line fell for you simultaniously. Taehyung fist, then Jimin and lastly Jeong-guk. Taehyung was a normal teenager who went for looks and you were his type, but he started to truly fall for you when you all became a Band. He remembers you taking care of him, making sure he was alright, but one perticular incident stuck out to him which solidified his feelings for you. When you stood up to the manager about his cloths, Taehyung has cholinergic urticaria, meaning sweat and high body temperature cause hives all over his body, His manger was forcing him to wear tight cloths but you drilled the manager ( since you have a rich brother who was also an investor) and made sure he was comfortable. You also carried a a small electrical fan for him. These small gestures were arrow to his heart, like cupid struck him. As these gestures continued, his feelings also grew.

Park Jimin saw a side of you that only Yoongi had seen until then, It being your clumsy side. You were always careful during your trainee years, and even after the group was formed, but he'd always see you stumble and catch yourself, sometimes even chanting 'don't fall' like a mantra while carrying and walking. He found it absolutely adorable, he noticed your silly quirks and loved them. He also loved how caring you were and also extreemly passionate about your practice. Every time any of the manager would give them a hard time, you would be there to defend them. He loved it, He developed feelings soon after, when one of the manager was giving him an earful for something which was never his fault and he couldn't control, the manger who you later called was on 'power high'. You had shut the manger down so hard that the dude quit. He considered you his and everyone's 'Guardian Angel'

Jeon Jeong-guk, a.k.a Jungkook, joined the Big Hit when he was no older than 13. When he joined, he expected to do everything by himself, and probably not have a childhood. But he was roomed with you due to the lack of space, he was reluctent to share a space with a women much less a pretty one. But all the hesitance vanished the moment he met you. You were so warm and caring, even letting him skip out on chores sometime, but being warm didn't mean you weren't strict. You had always made sure he completed his school work, and kept a balance between spoiling him and disciplining him. You were also very cool in his eyes because of how you defended him and the other younger trainees. He didn't feel any romantic interest till the prank that BTS pulled on his 16th birthday, ( this one, if you haven't seen it). The moment cake came out, you immediately hugged the boy, and he started crying, after a while you were calming down Jungkook with hugs and kisses. Jungkook had then told them that, he was scared that his hyungs and producer were scolding him but the moment you said that you were disapointed in him, he couldn't keep it together and was scared you'd stop spoiling him. He also realised how jealous he got when you'd spoil other members the same way, and then went to Namjoon for advice. To which he found out he was in love.

You trying to kill yourself was a wakeup call for them and they had a meeting on your day off, without you. Every member confessed their feelings for you to each other, and realised it was either they had to fight for your affection or they could share it. They came to the decsion of sharing and protecting you. Since they all loved you, and you care so much for them, You must love the too right?

When they became famous, they kept seeing edits about you and another members, romantic ones. They even started to ship you with the Boys. They had requested their then manager to ask your opinion on it. To which you told him,

"I find them hilarious, I mean have you seen the boys? They are wayyy out of my league. If it were true then damn I'd win the loterry, But it won't happen, cuz I'm like a rock between Diamonds" while laughing.

What...... You think you don't deserve them? How could you? Can't you see how amazing you were? Truth be told they are the ones who don't deserve you....

I guess they have to just show you How important you are to them, Now don't they?

Why don't they recreate some of the fanfics you have been reading hmm....?

You'd like it right....?

A/N: OMFG FINALLYY, My blood, sweat and tears like by god it took too long. At this point i had another idea which i will write and almost dropped this one but i didn't want to keep others who actually look forward to my writing, waiting. Its been more than a month, Which I'm sorry about. I hope you enjoy!!! And wait for part two (it will take a while since i have another fic in mind right now) For right now i kept an open ending but in part two I'll write more about the romantic development in their relationships. Feel free to leave me ideas in the comments and how you thought Y/N ended up with the members?

Stay Safe, Healthy And Hydrated

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writinghotchner · 1 year

Text

the infinite amount of times you saved yourself, and the one time you didn't have to

Pairing: aaron hotchner/reader Rating: M (sfw) Warning: talks of self harm & depression (nothing too descriptive)

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i really don't know why this came into my brain, but i couldn't shake it so...here we go. please mind the warnings and take care of yourselves <3

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you have a small moment of wanting to relapse after being clean for so long and aaron finds you in the bathroom

you've dealt with self harm since you could remember. it started with hitting yourself as a child and then progressed into scratching, and then eventually when you got a little older, you got your hands on a pack of brand new razor blades. and then it became a problem. it stemmed from lack of control, a therapist once told you, so any time you felt like you were in a situation you couldn't control - or felt the need to control - you'd immediately take it out on yourself. the only thing you could control was the pain. and, as sad as it is, it always made you feel better. it stopped the spiraling and the crying and the heaving of breathe that you could never fully suck into your lungs.

you're not entirely sure how you got here in this moment. in your underwear and bra on the bathroom floor of the apartment you share with your boyfriend. he works for the fbi, travels a lot, never really seems to be home...but it still works. you've never been in such a healthy, loving relationship before, despite the distance. so maybe that's why you feel the tinge of guilt sitting on top of the unbearable sadness that rumbles in your chest like a brewing hurricane.

you're happy. for maybe the first time in your life. you have a great, albeit, stressful job, a handful of good friends and you're potentially with the love of your life...so...how did you get here? on the floor of the bathroom in the apartment that you share with your boyfriend. who is, unfortunately, or fortunately, still at work. he wasn't out of town, thankfully, but his attention was still needed in quantico. he could potentially show up at any moment. and that sends a bizarre lightening strike of adrenaline down your spine. if you're going to do it, now's the time. before he comes home and sees the mess you've made, yet again, and leaves. like almost everyone else has done before.

you know this is a pattern. you'd been stuck in a depression vortex for most of your life, so when good things start happening your brain immediately throws you ten steps backwards, and you wind up like that scared, lonely teenager, clutching something sharp and willing yourself to either do it...or don't.

you'd never really been good with talking yourself out of it. and now is no different. you can do it, and hide it for as long as you can. put on the facade that everything is and has always been great. and then he'll see the fresh marks, and you'll immediately fall back into being that scared, lonely child begging people to not leave you.

you'd done this so many times that it's almost comical that you keep hoping that this is the one time you can talk yourself out of it. but then, what else can you brag about, if not that your are your own hero. always the one to save yourself. not that anyone's ever really stuck around long enough to even try to be the hero.

but still, you picture aaron charging through the bathroom door, his short hair suddenly long and flowing in some magical wind and lifting you into his big, strong arms and hauling you off to some beautiful place where you can breathe.

you close your eyes and sigh. your legs are starting to go numb from how your sitting on the tile floor. now or never the pathetic little voice floats around your brain.

you take a deep breath, straighten out your left arm and grip the razor blade tighter....

just as your about to zip the blade through your flesh, you hear the front door open and then close. you hear aaron shuffling around calling out for you.

"honey?" he says loudly, walking into the bedroom, where the bathroom your in is attached to.

for some reason, that's what breaks you. you let the blade fall out of your hand and choke on a sob that has been threatening to come out since you got home.

you can hear him on the other side of the door, jiggling the handle. "honey, are you in here?" the door is locked and you don't know if you have it in you to get up and let him in. funnily enough, you're not sure you want him to come him - despite the little hero fantasy you had moments ago.

you suck in a deep breath and you try to calm your voice. "hey, yeah, i'll be out in a second. just getting out of the shower."

you wince at your lie and you can immediately tell that he doesn't believe you. he's a professionally trained human reader, of course he was going to see right through that. maybe you kinda wanted him to.

"sweetheart," he says softly. "i can hear it in your voice. please open the door."

your lip quivers as this unknown fear settles deep inside of you. you've never been so scared of someone seeing this side of you.

another sob escapes you before you even realize it was there, and you know it was loud enough for him to hear. he doesn't wait for you to open the door, instead he throws the side of his hip into it and it cracks open, a piece of small metal clanking around on the ground from the handle.

you can't even look up at him. you've crumbled in on yourself, legs crossed and elbows on your thighs, head in your hands as you finally just let it all out.

"hey," he says softly, and you can suddenly feel his big warm hand on your bare back. "are you hurt? what's going on?"

he moves his hand off your back and puts it softly around your wrist, pulling it away from your face. he uses his other hand to turn your face to him, his eyes immediately scanning for any blood or wounds.

"y/n, i need you to say something, i'm thinking the worst here," he whispers, his eyes never leaving yours. the hand that he used to move your face is now cupping your cheek, his thumb wiping away the falling tears.

you still don't say anything, if anything the embarrassment of it all has your tongue. so instead you sit up and fall into his chest where he immediately circles his arms around your shoulders, hugging you to him securely. your heart thuds in your chest as you realize at this position, he can see the fallen razor blade that was to the side of you, hidden by your legs before. you know he's going to see it, he sees everything.

sure enough, you can tell when he spots it. because he pushes your body way from him his, just far enough to where he can look down at your entire body, looking for any signs of blood or bandaging.

"i didn't-" you rasp out. he runs his hands up your arms and uses both hands to cup your cheeks. you can't place the expression on his face, but you know it isn't good. it's never good to make someone you love so much worry so much about you. you feel stupid and even more embarrassed now. a vicious cycle.

"were you going to?" he asks. the concern in his voice loud enough to knock you over.

more tears fall, you want to curl in on yourself and hide away under the rug, but he doesn't let you move your head.

"i think so."

"honey.." his voice is so sad and so concerned. it breaks you even more. you fall back into his chest and he lets you, his arms once again coming around to hug you to him.

"is this something you've done before?"

you take in a deep breath. being in his arms like this always makes you feel better, and the fact that he can't see your face right now makes this conversation a tiny bit easier.

"since i was a kid," you blow out a steady stream of air, willing the hurricane in your chest to go with it. "i stopped for a long time. it felt kinda childish to keep doing it well into adulthood, so i replaced it with other things...." you trail off and he squeezes you tighter and kisses your shoulder.

"and then, y'know, you get older, you get a job, you learn how to distract your brain from the self destructive cycle. but i think i locked the beast away for too long, because tonight i just...couldn't..."

you feel him take in a deep breath. he pulls away from you and runs his hands down your arms and holds your hands.

"i'm glad you didn't. is there anything i can do to help? can we maybe make a plan for the future so it doesn't come down to this again?"

you nod. "i've...never had anyone offer that before. most people just...leave."

he pulls you into a small, soft kiss. his hands are back on your cheeks, and he pushes your hair out of your face. "it'll take a lot more than this to make me leave, honey. we can get through this together. whatever you need."

and for the first time in your entire life, you didn't care about having bragging rights to being your own savior. for once, you can't wait to tell someone how you met the love of your life and how he stood by your side and helped you through the unimaginable. and never gave up on you.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x reader #*mine #*reader #*hotch x reader #the infinite amount of times you saved yourself and the one time you didn't have to

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oneshotnewbie · 11 months

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what about an Alt oneshot where the reader really struggles with Elliot leaving? Because Elliot was like a father to her so when she finds out hes gone she breaks down crying in Liv's arms. Liv has to have her in therapy because she struggles with feelings of abandonment and being unwanted like she becomes depressed?

ᕚ---ᕘ

The sound of dripping water echoed in the bathroom. Darkness surrounded you and only a single, lonely candle stood on the edge of the bathtub. Its flame flickered in the gentle breeze that rushed through the tilted window, throwing dark, scurrying shadows on the bare white tires.

You had not been this low to the ground in ages but it was only a matter of time before your family broke. Things have not been going well for weeks between Olivia and her partner, who was like a father figure to you.

Quarrels with unrequited feelings and hurtful situation mixed with the incident at the precinct, where he shot a young woman, was the last straw. Elliot was gone. Swallowed up by the earth without saying goodbye. He had simply quit his job and disappeared.

With an idefinable gaze, you looked into the puny candle flame. You drew your knees up and laid your head on them. Sitting there, your arms wrapped tightly around your body. Lonely, lost and abandoned.

Everyone who ever loved you was gone. Only your mother was still here. But she, too, had her own life. Olivia had her new team, her important job and everything started to seem worthless around you. Just a girl who was only almost grown.

You swallowed hard and put your hand on your chest. Firmly, you pressed against your chest and ran your cold fingers over your sternum. Gasping for air, your nails clawed at thin skin, feeling the pain that wrapped itself around your heart and slowly covered it with black spots.

A single tear fell onto your bare knee and slowly ran down your lower leg, disappearing into the sea of water that encased you. Slowly, you lowered yourself into the bathwater until your body and head were completely submerged in the cool wet. The world around you obliberating and dwindling in waves, you lingered further on your thoughts.

This heart. Bruised and a witness to terribly painful losses. If only you could close this heart off, protect it from further pain, then you would finally be free. You would finally be the girl without ballast, finally be able to be able to love again without fear of abandonment.

You felt awful, started hating yourself even though it was the people you should hate for giving you love and stealing it again. For all the broken pieced they left your heart in.

"Y/n!" the matching face suddenly appeared to the muffled voice entering your ears, the expression bearing a worried and anxious grimace. Olivia quickly pushed her hands through the wall of water, grabbing your shoulders before pulling you up with a mighty jerk. "What the hell are you doing?"

You gasped, took a few deep breaths, and refilled your lungs with the oxygen it needed. The darknes had seduced you and made you forget that your body was already screaming for air while you were lost in your mind. "I-I am sorry"

Feeling the cold gradually sifting through your bones, crushing you and eating you from the inside out, you were thankful that your mother immediately grabbed a towel and wrapped it around your shoulders, gently stroking your upper arms.

There was no sound. Even the drops of water that fell from your damp hair seemed afraid to move. The silence between both of you was so stifling, that Olivia held her breath for several secounds before taking a cautious step towards you, sitting on the floor next to the bathtub before leaning against the wall.

"Y/n?" she breathed, listened strenously into the darkness and looking into your pale face, whose color once had a beautiful beige hue. The sight of her daughter was far more painful than she had ever thought possible and she had to restrain herself from letting tears flow.

A thousand small but sharp needles pierced her heart. The woman knew it had something to do with Elliot´s departure, shortly after telling you that you would probably never come back, you had completely changed character and turned distant. Yes, almost depressed. "I want you to see a therapist," she whispered in a trembling voice and reached out a hand that stroked a stray strand of hair from your face.

Your eyes instantly watered as you began to sniffle. "Was I not worth anything to him? Not even a goodbye?" you whimpered softly, ignoring the sentence that just left your mothers mouth. A single tear trickled down your cheeks, mixing with the pearls of bath water that dripped down your chin in unison.

"Why did he leave us?" you sobbed and she leaned forward, dropping her head onto yours. Your voice cracked, fading until your body shook with silent tears in her embrace. "I thought we were family. H-he was like a father to me!"

Olivia´s hand found yours and intertwined with your fingers gently, as if you would break if she made a wrong move. She understood the pain you endured, knew exactly what such an exit without warning could do to a soul. Especially one as young as yours.

That Elliot chose to escape his emotional problems by disappearing was typical for him. Still, she missed her partner. The warmth that surrounded his body. The perfume that gradually faded and was forgotten. The woman missed the stubborn guy with aggression problems. The man who was a friend to her, if not a lot more.

He was the first guy to show her that there could be a relationship between friendship and family. Strong and unique like she had never felt before in her life. They had solved the most diverse and dangerous cases and defeated the worst people.

Elliot was one of the most important people her daughter´s life, along with her and Amanda but now he was gone. Now she had to sweep up the shards he had left behind and glue them together.

She was willing to stand by you and follow in his footsteps to represent both sides of being a parent. It would be difficult, especially at first, but she knew you could both do it together.

Tears rolled freely down her cheeks as she broke out of her painful thoughts while standing up and slowly pulling your petrified and blunted body out of the bathtub. While she dried you off and dressed you, gently combin your wet hair and blow-drying it, you were completely absent to reality, staring blankly at the cold tiles decorating the sink.

Shivering and surrounded by inner coldness, you felt like freezing to death. It was too painful to fight it back. Cold was the pain you felt since he was gone, and you did not know if it would ever fade away.

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ladythornofrivia · 1 year

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popsicle

pair: sanzu x reader

warnings: cheating, sanzu being naughty, and toxic husband with profanity, secret affair, mentions of depression, mentions of insecurities, sanzu being h*rny and flirty, sanzu being a douchebag, but still lovable in his own way.

a/n: sorry being inactive. i’ve been obsessed with Getou, hence I changed my username. oh yes, i also have an ao3 account, yay!

• On a hot summer day, you stayed at the house, waiting for your husband to come home. It happens quite often when you’re bored and repressed by the expectations of what it means to be a good wife. Cleaning, pampering, and the means of being a “tidy wife”.

• Your husband didn’t come home that night. The food you prepared went into the fridge or at the trash bin, sometimes you ate the whole meal to a point where a husband shames your big appetite. Kept bragging about how the girls in porn magazines have much better figure and features. You couldn’t help but to feel down. You know that in your heart the girls in magazines have more plastic than the ocean combine.

• One morning, you overheard him talking in his sleep, moaning, even. You didn’t want the noise so you slept on the couch. Though when you went to the bathroom, you overheard your husband talking, awake. You have no clue to who he was talking to, but his expression said otherwise. And it wasn’t promotion.

• The next morning, your husband was nowhere to be found. And feeling a little lonely, the urge to touch yourself from the tightness in your pajama pants, so you quickly went onto the couch, took off your clothes, and tried to find a pornographic video you could find on your phone. From there, you stumbled across the video, also in the couch, you find yourself watching a gorgeous man with long pink hair and teal eyes under the long white lashes, brutally pounding his dick inside the girl’s cunt. With a girl’s whiny moans, it was almost a deal breaker, but with a gorgeous man before your eyes, he winked at the camera and sped up his thrusts against her. You finger coated with cum, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more. You wanted to be in the same position as the girl on the video.

• And with that, you found yourself lucky with enough time in the house, wanting to be seen on the internet. At first you posted videos and selfies on the account, taking three shots until finding a perfect photo, but decided to upload all of them together. Then you decided to become as a part-time cam girl. Doing a first video of masturbation was awkward at first. So you took a shower and put a lot of skincare to make an effort of looking flawless on screen first. The moment the awkward tension has gone down, you sat down, without undergarments, with your spread legs, your fingers dipped down into the hole as your breasts bounced for every movement shifted. Coming down from a high climax was real accomplishment, thus planning to have more brand new lingerie to tease the audience.

• The next morning, your account on the cam website blown up. Your cam girl views went viral through pornographic websites, your figure is and your skin are lustrous and flawless. Even on the tweets, you have gone viral—your body has gone viral. Many likes and many comments. And all the pornstars wanted to collab with you. Most of all, what got your attention is when Sanzu subtweeted your videos and commented on every single pictures you posted, praising you with dirtiest comments.

• Everything is perfect. Except the efforts of keeping secrecy from your husband, living as a double life will be impossible, unless blurting out that you’re making good money from the elicit websites. With your husband ignoring your existence, it should be easy, despite being hurtful by his intentions. At night, you waited for him to fall asleep to do your naughty sessions online. More views had gone up, and with your social media accounts, pornstars have bombarded you with not so flirting and thirsting. You ignored all of them except for the gorgeous man with pink hair who goes by the name of Sanzu. Sanzu is the most popular pornstar/camboy. Although you’ve seen him from the screen, you wanted to know what he sounds like.

•Even in your dreams, you dreamt of him fucking you in you and your husband’s bed. Everything were hopes and dreams, but then days changed when your friend decides to set up a group hangout, you and your friends hung out at the department store to wear for the karaoke. Accidentally bumping against a tall frame, you apologized immediately, you looked up and saw tall men in suits. When one was about to grip on your shirt, the other man stepped in and told the other guy to back off. You immediately noticed the long pink hair, but you have never seen a gorgeous face with diamond-shaped scars. Maybe you’ve mistaken the man for Sanzu. Maybe he isn’t Sanzu. He looks like him, but he looks terrifying.

• Though you weren’t the only one checking him out. Sanzu checked you out with a long teasing glimpse and gave a smirk. For a while it’s been awkward full of groups, but eventually you and Sanzu hit it off, hanging out and singing in the karaoke. Sanzu wanted to be alone with you; he figured out who you are based on your birthmark on your neck; your hair style tucked at the backside. He couldn’t help but to flirt with you more as you separated your ways from the group. Luckily your husband wasn’t home.

• Sanzu bought two popsicles—both strawberry flavored—a perfect way to savor the sweet, hot summer. As you relished the taste of popsicle, Sanzu couldn’t help but noticed your tongue swirling on the tip, then trailed down at the length. When he cleared his throat, you looked up at him, realizing what you’ve done, thus behaving like a good girl.

• You and Sanzu talked until he said, “I know who you are. I did my research after my own live stream. You’re (y/n), the girl with good grades and reputation, never drink or do drugs, never had sex, even with your husband. Your husband won’t be home for a while; he’s out with his mistress. He always leaves early and arrives here later at night.”

• You staggered, licking your lips as you stare at Sanzu drinking and eating the sight of him like a popsicle. “How did you know?”

• Sanzu chuckled, trailing his fingers onto your skin. “I know my ways of knowing everybody. You’re aware of the organization that controls the area you’re living in right now. I kill traitors and cheaters alike. Sanzu, second commander in Bonten, to King Mikey.”

• You figured it was Bonten, the infamous group who tries to patrol every street and buildings. Living in a shelter is too much of getting your naïveté to grow.

• “Open yourself up to me, and I can show you ways of what it means to have a man inside you,” he coerced, lifting your leg inch by inch.

• With a comply, you let Sanzu ripped its way into you with his cock, rocking his hips as your couch creaked. Moaning, your arms strapped around his muscled body, breathing and moaning into his ears. Sanzu chuckled, kissing your neckline. “Hold onto me, kitty. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Just for a record, I don’t have condom with me.”

• His efforts on making you feel satisfied, your needs of pleasure came soon to an end, but you don’t want it to end. Sanzu felt sadness in you, so he gave you his phone number. But since you don’t have a smartphone—restricted by your husband, he gave you his spare phone, and has another one in his other pocket. And within days, you and Sanzu talked, as if you guys have known each other for a long time. Each time you texted Sanzu, you feel elated as if single. But feeling guilty each time your husband’s footsteps came. Hiding your double life and a phone from Sanzu wasn’t easy. Your husband wanted to spend time with you, but you declined and said you’re heading out for shopping groceries and clothes, when all you did was fucking Sanzu in his penthouse.

• After months on spending each other’s company, you came back into your house and your husband beaten you almost to death, saying how unreliable and liar you are. The next day, you couldn’t face Sanzu, but Sanzu figured out your husband beaten you up to a point he ordered his men to kidnap your husband and kill him without remorse. After that, for a while you haven’t seen your husband, not that you care, of course, and Sanzu eventually came into your place, notifying you of your husband’s passing. You knew your husband’s dead, and delved into Sanzu’s arms, crying.

•Kissing at the top of your hair, Sanzu said, “You should move in with me. Pack your most valuable things and we can fuck each other as long as we like. I can treat you better than that man. You’re special to me, (y/n). And I don’t ever plan on letting you go. I’ve seen the way you lick the popsicle, and I can’t help but feel a little jealous.” Thus he unveiled his mask, and kissed onto your lips, with a following of slow and sensual fucking—no cameras and live stream involved. Your life is in content with Sanzu, and with Sanzu, your freedom has been granted more than ever.

• “Get down on your knees,” he said, gripping your hair softly. “I want you to lick me like a popsicle.”

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danikamariewrites · 1 year

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Hi , love I absolutely love all your writing

I dont know if your requests are still open if they are could you write a azriel comfort fic if you're comfortable writing where his gf shows him her sh scars and they both cry in eachothers arms and hug eachother and az now has a shadow attached to her by her side when he's away to protect her ?

Brave

Azriel x reader

A/n: hi anon, thank you so much. I’ve been wanting to write something like this for a while now. I used to struggle with sh as a teenager. I won’t go into my whole story but if you struggle with sh please know you’re not alone and I implore you talk to someone whether it’s a therapist, your best friend, sibling, parent etc. There are people in your life who love you very much and want to help you.

Warnings: mentions of self harm, mental health struggles, angst. Please don’t read if these topics trigger you!

As you were doing the dishes last night your sleeve slid up higher than you intended it to go. You knew Azriel saw your scars from the look on his face but he didn’t say anything about it. You knew he wouldn’t but it was time to come clean about your past.

Centuries ago, your mental health took a turn for the worst and you hit a low point. You were so depressed and convinced no one in your life cared about you. You felt so alone and isolated you just wanted to feel something other than that emptiness in your chest.

So you took out on yourself in the worst way. It went on for years without anyone in your life noticing. Or so you thought. Your mother found out and was distraught. She held you crying, telling you she was going to do everything to get you the help you needed.

You healed mentally and physically, but you were still self conscious about the scars you left behind. You had yet to tell Azriel about your past. Both of you took your time opening up in your relationship not wanting to rush anything. He only recently told you about what his stepbrothers did to his hands.

Tonight, you decided it was your turn to open up. Entering the sitting room you cleared your throat. Azriel looked up from his book at you. He gave you a small smile as you fidgeted under his gaze. Padding over to the couch you sat next to him.

“So…I know you saw the scar on my arm last night. And I want to tell you what happened.” Putting his book down Azriel held your hands, rubbing the rough pads of his thumbs across your knuckles. “You don’t have to if you feel like you’re not ready. I don’t want to push you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.”

The corner of your mouth twitched up as you looked down at your joined hands. “You’re not forcing me to do anything Az. I promise.” He dips his head motioning for you to continue. Slipping your hands out of his you move to roll up your sleeve to show your boyfriend the grouping of thin scars on your forearm.

Azriel’s eyes widened. He looked up at you, face scrunched in pain and confusion. “Centuries ago I-I hit a rough patch. Mentally. I thought I was useless and no one wanted me. I was lonely, I had no friends, and my family was preoccupied with my brother’s achievements.”

You started getting choked up. Your eyes watering with each word. It had been a long, long time since you had told anyone close to you what happened. But you were glad you were telling Azriel. He cares about you so much you’re sure that you’re in love with each other. You think he might be the one you spend the rest of your life with.

Clearing your throat you continue, “So I started hurting myself. It went on for a long time before my mother intervened. But I’m ok now. I saw a therapist and I’ve worked through it all.” Azriel reached out slowly, cradling your arm in his hands gently.

You feel tears fall down your face quickly. Blinking them away you weakly smile at Az. When he looks at you, you’re shocked to see tears of his own wetting his cheeks. It was rare Azriel cried in front of anyone. “Thank you for trusting me. I’m so sorry you went through that y/n.”

The softness of his voice broke you. It wasn’t like his usual quiet manner. This was pure hurt for someone he loves. Azriel pulls you into his lap, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as he rocked you lightly. You felt his tears in your hair as yours soaked his shirt.

You had never felt so cared for and accepted by anyone in your life. Azriel always knows how to comfort you, making you feel safe. “I love you, y/n. And I’m always here for you if those thoughts ever come back. Please, please know that you are wanted, and perfect, and you bring me so much joy.”

Leaning away from Az a little you cup his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs and smile at him. “I love you too Azriel. Thank you, for always knowing what to say. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He leaves a slow kiss on your forehead before standing with you in his arms.

“Let’s get some rest, yeah?” “Yeah” you whisper, pressing your face into Azriel’s neck.

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar reader imagine #acotar reader fic #acotar imagine #azriel imagine #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel shadowsinger x reader #azriel x reader #azriel fic #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #azriel angst

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lakesbian · 9 months

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rachel and alec are specifically interesting to me re the undersider Situations as of early worm posting. thats right for the first time in my life im saying rachel specifically is interesting to me. everyone on the team is at least a bit lonely i think but it's so loud and obvious with rachel, because she's loud and obvious about everything. she's a disabled teen who's been homeless since she was very young. she was deeply abused by the foster home system, and the legal system responded to her wounded and confused outbursts as an autistic child by criminalizing her and hunting her down. she can't exist in public without the cops being called. society has done everything to demonstrate that it doesn't want her, and then blames her when she doesn't trust people.

brian says that the undersiders are the closest thing she can have to friends. alec says that they're the closest thing she has to a family. (which is an entire can of worms in itself wrt alec's relation to the undersiders.) and both of those things are true, but there's also something so tragic in their assumption that their tenuous connection w/ rachel where she can only just barely tolerate them is the best she can ever have. they're the only people she can even remotely trust to have her back or treat her somewhat fairly instead of fucking her over, but they're still fundamentally considering her beyond close connection, less of a friend or someone to attempt befriending and more of someone to keep on a leash. of course taylor is the only one to actually get close to her--taylor is the only one who tries to engage with her, as a person, on rachel's own terms, instead of begrudgingly tolerating her. rachel :(

& alec is the other team member who's in the Extra Lonely Isolation Club...he gets silly with the team sometimes, he has his little teenage banter w/ brian, he and lisa are clearly very familiar with each other in the way ppl who've been living together for a year and a half are. it's really good for him. it's the first time in his entire life he's gotten to have a consistent home with his own belongings, and he's getting to have it because he's part of the undersiders. the undersiders are literally the first people in his entire life that approach counting as a friendship. he gets SO FUCKING MAD!!! when he leaps to assuming that rachel stole the money from them. he gets So Mad he immediately goes "i vote we kill her" and then goes on a seething rant about how he wouldn't have thought she'd do that since the undersiders are the closest she has to family, but apparently she would. and the projection is so obvious! he's not wrong about applying the sentiment to rachel, but there's a reason he goes farther than brian's "closest she has to friends" and into the more intimate territory of "closest she has to family"--the two-way street there means that the undersiders are the closest he has to family, and the idea of being betrayed by one of them hurts enough to trigger the aggression he always displays when he's feeling vulnerable.

and he still doesn't tell them Jack Shit. he obviously lies to them all the fucking time, because brian is under the impression that he "dropped out" of school, when the reality is that he never went. even lisa brings up heartbreaker to taylor without any awareness that he's the father of the boy she's been living with for over a year. alec spends most of the early arcs in worm in dissociative, depressed fugues. the other undersiders have lengthy conversations where they're sharing personal info and he's just trailing along behind them, not speaking for so long that even the readers can forget he's there. lonely broken little shell of a boy who is so empty all of the time and does not even know it. aisha cannot get here fast enough if i have to see him being depressed and disconnected for one (1) more chapter i will explode

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 4 #wormblr #parahumans

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fudanshidoublevision · 5 months

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“Nostalgia”.

(A Double Vision x Reader fanfiction for Children's Day.)

⚠️ C. W: Mentions of unhealthy and abusive relationships, abusive households, neglect, implied (but not toooooooo described) bullying and harassment, depressive thoughts, LOTS of reminiscing and reflection, death, dubious living conditions. It's implied Reader has only a PRESENT mother and a family. With who Reader ended up with is left ambiguous on purpose and up to you but I'm letting you have the “sweet good ending” with whoever you end up with. Swearing but not too heavy. Talks about suicide. Emotional dependency and such. If Reader posses an ability isn't discussed or even implied.

It's odd how so much can change in what seems...nothing, out of nowhere. The fact that so many time has passed is scary. Some things in our lives had changed, evolved, stayed the same or just died.

I never thought that I would become an adult, I never had so much expectations in life, honestly.

I never thought I would make this far.

Even if I was only rotting in one place and doing nothing, something my mother said that it couldn't be even considered “living”. I was just trying not to do something I could regret forever instead of digging up too much in my thoughts, I just laid there not thinking or even feeling anything.

I think she never realized that I wasn't living, that we weren't living rather that i— we, were surviving.

But for some reason you always stayed.

Even when I stopped acting like myself. Even when everyone I used to care for just, disappeared from my life because I wasn't putting an effort into taking care of our relationship. Even when I became the worst version of myself. Even when I didn't deserved anything or anyone in my life.

You always stayed, Vernon.

You were my ride or die since the fateful day that I saved you.

Well, I didn't do much really, I didn't really saved you, I just prevented something that any other living being with morals would want to avoid to happen, right? I was going through your same situation after all... Hah, we both had to endure all of that until we finished school together. I know so well how it feels to be hopeless, everyone ignoring what they are doing to you, everyone watching, yet no one doing something about it.

I always thought that you would never had ever wished or even desired to make others feel like that. But, for some reason, you ended up being just like them.

I believe that I'll never understand why you changed so much or if you were always like that, I was aware of your strange behavior and dependency on me but I never thought much of it because that's how you always behaved around me. Heh, I ignored every single red flag and warning that was thrown in my face just for the sake to hold onto you, because you were someone dear to me, someone that always had been there for me.

You were the highlight of my childhood and my teenage years, even if we kinda drifted away in the latest. You were even there when I was the grown, sad and miserable version of the kid you used to know.

Is it bad that i still hold dearly and warmly those moments we had as kids? Like the days were everything in my household...just was horrible and I didn't know where or to who run to, somehow I always ended up in your house, you always opened the door to me, no matter what or why.

Your own home seemed so cold from the outside and on the inside but...when we were together, everything just felt warmer.

...Or the times were you used your abilities to save our asses or just to escape to somewhere, anywhere, when I was locked down in my own room and you were so lonely and bored in your cold and empty house.

Go to anywhere we wanted, as long as no one of our parents got to know that we were running around the streets like not-so-sneaky rats. Hell, even your very-dangerous use of your ability saved us from being late to class. We could have done better things with it but we were young and really, really stupid.

When I used to ride my bicycle, you had to steal my seat and I had uncomfortably sit on the center bar but quickly forgot about that because anything with you just felt right, your presence used to make me so happy and I tended to forget everything, we used to have so much fun with such mundane and stupid things. When we used to drive that crappy bicycle to a concerning speed just to feel like we were flying like those heroes we used to adore and we used to imagine we were.

The times me and my family celebrated your birthday because you were like another member in my family. You were like a brother to me.

Or the times you bought me any silly or meaningless thing that I wanted to me for my birthday because you knew how much that day it used to meant to me. And how much you it meant to me your presence...and your gifts, hehe.

Nostalgia is a powerful drug.

In times like these, i look fondly at the times that you were there by and with me, even when I was talked down, thrown, dragged and abused to my core when we were “living the best and important part of our lives”.

Even if you were being neglected by the ones who were supposed to be protecting us and left alone by your own devices, money being thrown at you like that could compensate the hole they left behind.

We could only hold each other in silence because talking about it brought so much pain to our little hearts and heads.

I'm glad the two of us made it out, together. I will always be grateful of that but nothing good seemed to last in our lives since we started to became more mature.

You changed or more like, you just became the true version of yourself.

Maybe it's an exaggeration but whoever was talking to me with your voice, while using your clothes, saying things only you could only ever knew... That wasn't you, i refused to believe that was you.

Someone else stripped you down from your humanity. Of what made you, you.

But, no. That was you, with the same stupid face, the same idiotic and cocky attitude of always, your signature dimples and that mole in your face but you insisted, no, forced me to call you “Double Vision”.

For some reason, that silly and simple nickname i used to call you by stopped to came out of my mouth.

“V”.

Vernon.

Now, you were only Double Vision and nothing else, the person I used to know, gone and forgotten to do things I never thought you could be capable of doing. Not like I was innocent or had a squeaky clean historial, we were partners in crime, after all.

I was scared and just wanted to, stop. You were more erratic, territorial, temperamental when it was about me. You didn't wanted me to engage with anyone, even if it seemed that you trusted the other members of the Night Crew.

You didn't, you never did.

When we argued in front of everyone because you wouldn't let me go, that day someone died, because of me, because of my fault.

Seeing you taking the life out of someone that just wanted to be on my side, for you to let me go and being unable of doing something because I...just didn't know what to do, I was scared.

I had to force myself to accept the so-harsh truth.

The person I used to know.

You.

Was long gone and he will never come back.

Or just the the version I used to know, I'm not sure if you were genuine with anything about yourself with me, since we were kids.

Was it everything a lie? Were you just holding back until the day I was completely alone and with no one or nothing but you to drag me down with you, no matter what or who tried to get in between?

Even if you did all of this out of the selfish desire of having me all by yourself, some part of me can't quite forget you or stop thinking about you.

Since the day I could escape from you and stay with someone who felt...love for me, I began to forget little by little of you but for some reason, a part of my me doesn't want to forget you.

It hurts me deeply, to think of you. I feel a heavy pressure in my chest and my heart, when I remember you. That you exist and that you used to mean so much to me.

Things could have gone better, right? Is it wrong for me to think that things could have been different, if something, anything, was slightly different when you weren't trying to cut an arm, a finger or take one of my eyes just to have me by your side?

I wish I could only save and stay with the happy memories we made together but the person in those memories doesn't look like you at all, that's not you.

I miss you my dear bestfriend, sometimes.

But I wish we never had met each other.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・。.・゜

AUTHOR'S NOTE???

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PUT AN AUTHOR'S NOTE......? Doesn't matter, right?

Thank you so much for reading! And happy children's day! Even if you don't celebrate it today or don't, at all. I hope you enjoyed it! Any type of criticism is welcome...but, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't be so hard on me, okay? Be gentle, please.（┬┬＿┬┬)

English isn't my native language and I mostly write only for myself all these years and never shared my writing but I'm trying to learn and get better everyday! Don't think so lowly of me. ᶘಠᴥಠᶅ

I kind of wanted to write something fifty percent wholesome and fifty percent angsty. So, I just had this monster in my head nagging me to write something about childhood, memories and the horror of growing up. And, woah! What a day to post this. Plus, ABOUT DOUBLE???? SIGN ME UP, BELOVED MONSTER IN MY HEAD!

I used my own headcanons to write this thing, that's why Reader calls “V”, referenced to my first post ever. I double (HEHE), triple, quadruple checked if this had any mistakes, so wake me up if there's a mistake I missed, thank you very much.

I have 13 drafts about Double that will stay in that cold and deadly place.....

Anyways, I stayed up all night writing this because of that horrifying monster... I NEED to go to sleep.

Double haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa????? I love you!!!!! ♡ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ

#binary star hero #bshvn #bsh double vision #binary star hero double vision #double vision x reader #binary star hero x reader #fanfiction #sleep.... SLEEP #i need TO SLEEP

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heavencanbeaprisontoo · 8 months

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Living with Michael Gray

Michael Gray x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, heavy angst, references to Gina Gray, dr-g ab-se, depression, spoilers for season 5, infidelity, and period-typical sexism.

Domestic Michael Headcanons

Michael likes to move forward and that reflects strongly in the luxurious apartment he buys for you. He’s one who probably drew up the blueprints for the interior’s design. If he were to buy a home in a suburb (never the country), he would likely draw up the blueprints for that home too. Everything in his home is violently modern, on the cutting-edge of what new money can afford. However, in the midst of architectural perfection and hard angles of the Art Deco movement, there’s something missing. Michael. He has a beautiful home that looks exactly as he wanted it to, but it doesn’t represent him. This home has no soul. It is as hollow as the mask he wears.

Be prepared to go through phases of rarely seeing Michael at all. Michael has a very poor sense of work-life balance. When times are rough, Michael will take his puff of snow and bury himself into his work for most of the day. He’s likely to wake you up at some odd hour of the morning when he drops into bed, still half-dressed and on top of the covers. You can rub his back and try to tell him he’s working himself to death, he will not listen. Michael works like he’s running out of time. Like every second he rests is costing him a vital opportunity. He can be very jumpy, and moody, but it’s mostly the coke. It makes you happy to see him go to work. Then, you just get sad.

When business is going well, Michael is at your side as a constant. Unless, of course, he’s still married to Gina. In that case, he might be lying to Gina about work being rough so that he can be with you as much as possible. Now that you think of it, was work ‘rough,’ last week, or was he just with Gina that whole time? If Michael is still with Gina in your world, you may never really know.

When Michael is with you it can be hard to keep a straight head. The days where Michael is home, all his focus is on you. It’s addicting. His eyes follow you as he takes a drag of his cigarette, tracing the zipper of your gown as if to will it down. He likes to come up behind you as you undress for bed and nuzzle your throat, hands gripping your hips to pull you into him. His touch, his soft words, his promises of more wealth to come, it makes you forget all the ugly that comes with this beautiful life.

Relationship Headcanons

Whether he stays in England or goes elsewhere, you always get the feeling Michael is lonely. Even with your arms around his neck, he gets this far-off look in his eye. You suspect it has to do with his family. He won’t tell you until you’ve caught him with a tear on his cheek and his mother’s photo on his desk. Michael hates to express regret or sadness, so it takes him some time to really let that out around you. If he does, he’s yours forever. You’ll be years into your marriage before he starts to talk to you about his adoptive family or his life in that little village he ran away from. He likes to say that he doesn’t think about it much, “Because it feels like it happened to someone else,” but you don’t believe him.

In order to marry and have children, this will need to be a world where you meet Michael before Gina Nelson ever sees him. Because once he’s married, it would take a significant event for him to ever leave her. Love on its own cannot sway him. And Gina won’t let him go without a fight, even if she doesn’t like him anymore.

So, you marry Michael. Not much will change in your life together until you fall pregnant, and it’s a positive change. Michael may be a work-obsessed man with a loose grasp on his own identity, but fatherhood is very stabilizing for him. He has a legacy to protect now. Someone who will depend on him and look up to him. It’s added pressure, but Michael can’t be happy without something to solve. Michael is very hands-on as a father, but only when it’s just you and him. He defers to you or the nanny to care after your children if there’s company around. That pesky masculine pride of his won’t let him look soft in front of other men.

Until you have fully broken through his defenses, Michael will have frequent cycles of being “hot and cold.” There are days where he can’t take his hands off of you, lips attacking your neck and chest, buttons from your shirt clattering to the floor. He holds you like he’ll fall through the floor if he lets go. Michael will decorate you in fancy gifts like you’re a goddess and he’s your most devout worshipper. Then, weeks later, you may as well be invisible. If he’s home, he’s only there long enough to change his clothes and place a phone call. Might forget to even say goodbye as he rushes out to build a greater fortune. Michael will rush about the house without glancing your way or answering your questions with more than two words. Push him hard enough and he might say something he regrets.

When Michael is calm, and sober, he’s a soothing person to be around. You can vent to him about your problems for hours and he’ll just listen. Michael is smart, and he’s educated, so you can talk about most subjects and have an invested conversation partner. Michael has no problem with debating politics with you or expressing his opinions. It’s when the topic becomes him, his family, or his feelings that things get difficult. He won’t press you about how you’re feeling. Isn’t the sort of person to dig into your private affairs. As long as you aren’t endangering yourself or the children, he will let you have your own world. Depending on who you are, this might be very refreshing… or you might feel very alone.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #michael x gina #michael gray #michael gray imagine #michael gray x reader #peaky blinders imagine

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writersblog20 · 2 years

Text

A leap of faith

Henry Cavill x reader

Credits to gif maker

Summary: When one cold December morning you took a leap of faith and decided to see the part of the city that you’ve never been before and soon you come to realize how many leaps of faith you needed to take. ( a close-up to two people falling in love)

Warnings: mention of anxiety and hints to a bad mental health, reader drinks alcohol, mention of smut

Words: 4K

Love is a leap of faith

It was getting cold again and that time of the year started to get closer and closer. The city was already carefully decorated with the lights, the trees, the stores, everything screamed Christmas. Even though you just moved to a different country and didn’t know anyone yet, you’ve had the privilege to get to know yourself on a very deep level. Maybe it was the solidarity and peace you’ve discovered that you didn’t feel so alone.

Back in your home country, you’ve felt alone and depressed even though you had friends all around you but now you could see at that there was a lot of drama in your life. You had to get out and had a very deep gut feeling that you needed to leave this place and you were now certain, that you felt all of that for a reason. Even though Christmas was a month and a half away, you didn’t feel lonely. You felt okay and at peace. Maybe even the happiest than you’ve ever been.

You would lie to yourself if peace and solidarity wasn’t all you wanted in life. You were finally okay with yourself and the moment you left your country, that was where your self-love journey started. You still had a long road ahead but you already made it so far.

Today you had peaceful day but woke up very early. You looked at your clock and it was 5 am. You sighed a bit but decided to just get out. If you wanted to, you could take a nap later. You got some comfy yet warm clothes so you could get out. You made some coffee, put your headphones on and listened to some music.

You walked to your window to look down at the city. It was obviously still dark outside but you saw the city still light up. You drank your coffee while staring out of your apartment. You were very lucky with this place. You had enough space. You had a bedroom, a livingroom and a beautiful kitchen. The ceiling was high and it was just absolutely perfect already before you even made it your own little place.

You were a bit in thought and felt slightly anxious for no apparent reason so you decided to have a morning stroll after your coffee. You grabbed your coat, mittens and beanie before walking down.

You stepped out of the building complex and was greeted by snow. You smiled and felt so complete, it was all you ever dreamed off. You got some hot Christmas drink at your local coffeeshop and You made your way through the park and didn’t really come across a lot of people since it was so early. Until there came a dog running over to you. You recognized the dog from somewhere. Like you’ve seen the dog before but couldn’t really place it in your head. You looked around but there was nobody around and the dog just sat there with you. “Are you a friendly dog buddy?” The dog wagged it’s tail and you smiled slightly. You carefully petted the dog and once you noticed that it was okay, you tried searching for a collar and a tag until you heard someone shout “Kal?” You looked at the dog, who was still chilling next to you until the owner came into view.

It was Henry Cavill and you started to slightly panic. You looked around you in disbelieve but tried to gather yourself since he came closer. Kal ran to Henry, who already saw you. “I’m so sorry, he get exited some times.” Henry told you as he walked up to you. “Oh it’s okay, don’t worry about it. I like dogs so it’s just fine.” You told him with a slight giggle. You wanted to punch yourself at how cringy you felt.

Henry smiled with a bit of relief. “Thank you.” there was a silence before Henry spoke up again, seemingly out of a trance. “I’m Henry by the way and this is Kal.” He reached out his hand for you to shake. You shook his hand “Hi, I’m Y/N” you both smiled. “Are you new here?” he asked you all of a sudden and it took you a bit by surprise. “I just… come here often and haven’t seen you around. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude.” He quickly said and scratched his head from embarrassment.

You chuckled “I actually am new here. Just moved here a couple of weeks ago and I’ve never taken a walk this way before.” This time Henry looked surprised. “Oh where did you move from?” He asked you interested. You told him your home country and started chatting about it. “So you haven’t seen everything yet?” he asked you after a while laughing when you confessed that you haven’t seen a lot. You chuckled and shook your head. “Nope.”

“And your friends didn’t offer to take you this way?” you chuckled and shook your head “No, not really.” You haven’t really made friends yet but you choose to keep that for yourself yet. Henry seemed deep in thought while he looked at you. “Eh well, I have to go to work but I’m off around 5. If you’re interested, I know a couple of very good restaurants and the best places around town. I’d love to show you around.” Henry awaited your reaction while you tried to process it. “You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He added. “No, I’d actually would like that.” You told him, making him smile.

“Can I have your number?” he asked you with a smile and you gave him your phone. He put his number in it and called himself before giving the phone back to you. “I’ll text you. It was lovely to meet you Y/N, and I’ll see you tonight then.” You smiled. “It was nice meeting you too, see you tonight Henry.” You told him and you both smiled at each other before walking away.

You saw that you’ve chatted half an hour with each other. You never really went to go out with someone that you just met half an hour ago but the hell with that. You were changing and so were your habits. Besides, you were curious about this side of town. You went into town and sat down at another local coffee shop. You got some breakfast and read your book. You finished the book and decided to get a new one and a new cute outfit for tonight.

You went into a store and immediately found something nice and cute. You walked into another store for some self-care products and got into a old bookstore. You were wandering around and took your time before buying two books. You were happy with your purchases. You saw a little market and quickly bought a wine for yourself and made your way home. You checked your phone and saw a text from Henry “I’ll pick you up around 6, does that work for you?” you smiled and texted back “Absolutely, can’t wait!.”

You smiled and couldn’t believe it that you were going on a date with Henry Cavill. Was it a date? You questioned yourself and that was when doubt kicked in. You shrugged it off for now. You’ll notice when the time comes around. You laid down on the couch, your new book in hand and some candles lit. You put an alarm on so if you would fall asleep or lose track of time, you were sure to know.

At one point you got cold and decided to continue reading in the bathtub. You felt your muscles relax and got warm again. Your alarm went off, telling you that you should get ready. You put some different music on and put your new outfit on and applied some make-up. You texted Henry your address and did some finishing touches, applying some perfume until your doorbell rang. You took a deep breath, collected yourself and opened the door.

“Hey.” You smiled as you saw Henry with some flowers and wine. “Hey, I brought you flowers and some wine.” You smiled and stepped aside. “Thank you so much, come in.” You let Henry in and got the flowers and wine from him. “I didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked so I got some wine as well but then I figured, I don’t even know if you drink or like wine.” He was rambling and you chuckled. “It’s perfect, thank you very much.” He smiled.

“I like your apartment.” He told you honestly as he looked around him. “Thank you, been working on making it a cozy home.” You told him as you put the flowers in some water. “You’ve been doing a great job as far as I can see.” You chuckled. “Do you want something to drink or do you want to go?” You asked him a bit uncomfortable, not knowing how to behave for a moment. “I’d love to but I made a reservation. I hope you don’t mind?” he asked you and you felt a bit relieved to get out of your house. “That’s fine. Where are we going?” you asked him as you got your coat. “Oh let me help.” He told you and got your coat. You felt a bit flustered but let him do his thing. He helped you with your coat and you got your bag and keys.

You both walked out of your apartment complex and down the stairs. Henry offered his arm to you and you gratefully took it. You gave him a shy smile. He had a slight grin on his face, knowing how to treat a woman right.

You chatted a bit on your walk to the restaurant until you stood in front of it. It was a nice cozy little restaurant. Even though it was small, it still had very much style. Henry held the door open for you and you thanked him with a smile and a nod. Henry took your coat off and you felt flustered. Henry let the waitress now that he had reservations and she walked you both to the table. You could see the waitress trying to flirt with Henry but he ignored it. You didn’t knew if he ignored it on purpose or didn’t see it.

Henry held the chair for you and you sat down while he slightly adjusted the chair. God it was so hot how he treated you and you loved every single moment of it. Henry sat across from you and you decided on a red wine, which Henry got too.

Henry started asking some deeper stuff about you and why you left, which you answered honestly. When you fell into some deeper conversation you could feel the energy shift in the room. Henry only had attention for you and was listening intently. It felt like a very intimate moment. You asked him some deeper questions and continued to connect with him until the food arrived.

“Can I ask you something?” Henry asked you and you nodded. “Yeah of course” he smiled “I ehm Did you already know who I was when we met?” you knew what he was hinting at but noticed he was a little apprehensive about asking you. You gave him a warm smile. “Yes I did. I know you’re an actor, a great one at that if I might add. But I like the real you even more.” you told him honestly yet boldly, hinting that you liked him. He got a big smile and you could swear you saw him blush. “Thank you” you saw that he was a bit at lost for words but really meant the thank you, he gave you.

“I can’t believe I haven’t asked you yet but what do you do for work?” he asked you a bit surprised that he hadn’t asked you sooner. You smiled “I’m a multi media designer and writer actually. Right now, I have my own business and work for a big festival in my country. I’ll go back around festival season so I can work there. It’s doable from anywhere over the world but when the festival comes closer, it’s more practical for me to be there on sight.” Henry nodded and was very interested in what you told him.

“What about writing?” he asked you intrigued “Well, I write stories, a lot of them actually and it started out as a hobby and now it’s partially my job. I already wrote a book.” Henry looked even more intrigued. “Is it something I could now? What’s it called?” you chuckled and gave him the title of your book and you saw his eyes went big and he looked in utter surprise at you. “No way! Are you serious? That’s my favorite book!” You chuckled and saw him shift on his seat to get closer to you. “Thank you.” this time it was your time to be at lost for words.

“I’m actually in contact with Netflix about it… they might want to make it in a series. We have a meeting tomorrow.” He looked even more surprised. “No way, that would be amazing!” he chuckled and you smiled, nodding. “That would seriously be a hit at the box-office” he told you seriously. “I’m sorry, I’m just a big fan of your work.” You chuckled “Thank you very much and it’s quite the irony isn’t it?” you chuckled as to earlier before when he asked you if you knew him already. Henry chuckled as well “Yeah, it sure is.”

Henry asked you a bit more about the festival and he could see the sparks in your eyes when you told him about it. You told him all the amazing things that happened, leaving out the not so fun parts out and saved them for later. Henry just smiled at how passionate you were about it until you realized how much and long you were talking about it. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking a while about it haven’t I?” You told him a bit embarrassed and he quickly shook his hand and softly placed his hand on top of yours. “Don’t worry about it! I love hearing you talk about it so passionately, I can only admire that.” You felt very flustered at his words and felt the heat spreading across your cheeks as you looked down.

You both finished dinner and when the check came in, Henry quickly took it. “I don’t mind splitting…” you told him but he shook his head. “No absolutely not, I asked you out and I want to.” He told you and you were assured that it was okay. You thanked him and he helped you get up out of your seat and with your coat again and obviously the door.

You both stood outside. “Ready to see this part of town?” he asked you with a smile and you nodded. He held out his arm for you again and you obviously took it. It was a little slippery from all the fallen snow and you held Henry’s arm a bit tighter. He showed you all of the gorgeous places around that part of town. You came across a cozy bar and you both looked at each other. “Want to get warmed up?” Henry asked you with a smile which you returned “Yeah definitely.” You chuckled out.

Henry held out the door for you and once again got your coat, helping you sit down. You ordered your favorite drink and Henry a Guinness. You chatted through the music and both got a little buzzed. Laughing at each other’s stories. You started to feel butterflies for the man in front of you. But not only that, it felt like you’ve met a real friend as well. There was a small band that started playing some live music.

It all just felt so incredibly right and at home as you looked around. You had great company, there was nice music, the bar was cozy and warm with Christmas decorations all over it, the drinks were nice, life felt good again. Like there was a reason that you’ve been through that formation. “Hey, you okay?” Henry asked when you were drifting away in thoughts. You looked at him and gave him a warm genuine smile “Yes, very much so.” He smiled a little flustered himself which you did too. It felt like you were in love high school kids again around each other. Even though it was so soon, you both hit if off great, perfectly even.

After a while you both decided to continue your journey again. Once outside you held his arm by yourself this time, catching his attention. “Oh, I’m sorry I thought.” You quickly got your hand away. Henry smiled adoringly at you. “No, it’s okay.” He told you reassuring and held out his arm again. You hid your smile in your scarf. “I found this perfect spot a couple of days ago. I don’t know how I haven’t found it sooner.” He told you as he led you to the place.

It was a small park with a little pond going through it. “If you stand just in the middle of the bridge, you can see the whole town” he told you and you both got on the wooden bridge. You were in awe of the sight laid out in front of you. “It’s gorgeous” You told him as you both stared at the lit up city.

“I’m pretty sure there are more spots like these around. Just haven’t found it yet. Maybe you would like to explore them together some time…?” he asked you carefully as if it was a heavy load on his chest. You turned around and couldn’t hide the smile “Together?” he got a bit nervous. “Only if you’d like.” He reassured you. “I’d love that.” You told him and he smiled, relief over his face. You both looked at each other and looked away with smiles on both of your faces. Yeah, definitely acting like high school kids. Henry lowered his arm slightly, bringing your arm with him and his hand went over the back of your hand until he intertwined your fingers together.

You both smiled again and felt flustered as your heart was taking leaps and the butterflies multiplied. “I really like your energy and company.” You smiled in your scarf again. “I really like yours too.” You told him and you could feel his thumb softly going over the back of your hand. “Is this okay?” he asked you softly scared to push the moment away. “Yeah, very much.”

It became silent again, making you feel a bit nervous as if this was the first time you fell in love with someone. The feeling of how right things felt and as if you’ve known him your entire life took over you. Like this was exactly where you needed to be. For once feeling that you were finally right where you should be and there for on the right path. You looked down at your hands which Henry noticed and did too. You looked at him and was unable to look away. The way the light of the moon glowed over his face, the freckle in his eye, the way that one curl fell to the front, the way he smiled and looked adoringly at you, they way his eyes held kindness than nothing more got you pulled into a pool of safety and comfort and it was at that moment, you were in deep.

Someone said that falling in love was literally taking a leap of faith. Falling in love was like surrendering to the other person and saying: “You can do anything to me” and hope for the best. The faith in someone not to take advantage. In a way that is completely mad because it takes a big risk and a leap of faith but no sensible human would let control out of their hands. Yet, love is able to do everything. For the first time in your life you weren’t afraid of falling in love anymore. You wanted to take this leap of faith and surrender to the strong feeling called love.

His hand cupped your cheek softly and you saw him looking at your features, taking in everything. Your hand found his coat and your fingers played with the texture of his coat. Automatically you pulled him slowly closer, his breath visible in the cold air just like yours until you felt warm air against your lips and you closed your eyes, getting ready to completely surrender.

You closed the gap between you two. His lips, warm and soft against yours, both sighting in the kiss, his hand slowly going to the back of your head, your fingers tugging into his coat as you pulled him closer. Henry deepened the kiss and you felt his tongue softly against yours. The kiss was so passionate and sensual, it was like something you’ve never experienced before, slowly taking both of your sweet time. It was addicting, you wanted more but fought against that feeling. You noticed that he was doing the same as the kiss slowed down and his lips separated from yours.

His forehead still resting against yours as you tried to catch your breath visibly in the cold air. “So… about that second date.” Henry broke the silence as you both started to laugh. “Yeah I’d like that.” Henry placed his lips against yours for a quick kiss, both smiling and grinning like idiots.

~ A year later ~

“Y/N! Over here!” there were flashes everywhere, blinding you slightly. Henry walked up to you with a big smile and placed his arm around you. You were on the red carpet for the tv series from your book. The day after your first date with Henry you had that meeting and let’s just say that it went amazing. You and Henry celebrated that night with sushi at your place and sharing the wine that he bought you.

More dates followed and the feeling grew stronger every day until one heated evening where you both couldn’t take it anymore. You both took that leap of faith and surrendered to each other. As if you both placed your sword down, accepting the faith. You fell in love before, yeah sure but this was different. You couldn’t explain it, it was a feeling like everything is how it should be.

You supported Henry with his new projects and accompanied him to shows and red carpets and he supported you with the making of your new series, the new book you were writing and stood next to you with the festival. That might’ve been his favorite memory. Now not only could he hear it, he could see it, feel it, experience it. He saw you in a new light, making him fall even deeper in love. The passion and love radiating from you with that festival… it radiated off of you and lifted up everyone who came across you. It was almost magical..

And now, he accompanied you on the red carpet. He loved that you got the recognition that you deserved. He wanted the world to see you shine. He knew you were something else in every good way possible and you were finally able to shine your light upon the world and show what you were capable of. Henry gladly stood besides you. in all the good and all the bad. It was faith after all.

taglist: @thereisa8ella @chrisevansdaughter @sarahrogersevans

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fic #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x you #henry cavil #henry cavill xreader #henry cavill x fluff #henry cavill x female reader #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x original female character #henry cavill ofc #henry cavill oneshot #henry cavill one shot #henry cavill imagines #henry cavill imagine

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therapy-ghost · 1 year

Note

I had to ask my dad cause I keep forgetting it.😭😭 He said it was Asperger’s but a news article said it’s an offensive term so I don’t know what it’s called and neither does he. (I finished asking but I googled what the new term was, and it’s Asd I think. Google didn’t explain it well😫)

But the request is Reader is dating Freddy Freeman, but like is low-key obsessed with his alter ego, Captain Everything. It’s all they talk about when Freddy mentions heroes. So with the help of Billy, he has Reader meet his alter ego. (Reader doesn’t know they the same person, if it’s not clear) Just a lot of fluff cause I love Freddy so muchhhjjjjjh

Hello again! I was wondering when you were going to be back and what type of writing you wanted and this is not what i was expecting(in the best way possible)!!! Warnings; meantion Autism(Im sorry if ive depicted it wrong in anywayT-T), swearing, im hoping no OOC, longer then usual one shot... and tell me if theres anymore warnings to add!.

GN!Reader x Freddy Freeman

From a young age; your parents, teachers and class mates saw you as strange; always bringing up that one topic that yuo would always bring up whenever you could, and sometimes it was fun, but eventually those peole started to not want to talk to you.

When you reached middle school; You had found yourself a community online that would rant about the very topic you had grown fixed on, Superheroes, thats all they would talk about.

It was your save place where you can place yourself in your own world and rant forever on who's a better hero; Superman or Batman? Obviously Batman!

but in the end you still found yourself lonely in the sea of online friends, cause well... they were online, and sometimes you would be stuck in the real world where you couldnt talk to them.

But that was untill you meet Freddy Freeman; a crutch wielding superhero maniac who instandly caught your attention(And maybe even your heart) in sciences.

And Freddy was not gonna lie when saying that you did the same.

The two of you started to hang out; most of the time with the company of Billy who always felt like he was third wheeling even if he was in a whole other building.

Eventually you two had asked each other out on the very same date and proceeded to believe you had a psychic connection; Match made in heaven to be more accurate.

And right now; after 3 months of you to being officially a thing, were laying on the floor of him and Billy's shared room ranting about hero's, like you always did.

"-Come on! he's dark, mysterious, most likely rich, and has a most of gotham and maybe even the whole world fearing him; you cant say that superman in better then Batman when every villain and civilian knows what his weakness is but doesnt even know where the heck batman is majority of the time" You argued with Freddy, who laughed at your statement and nodded a bit.

"Ok you have a point; but Superman in the man of steel, and whats batman? A depressed man in an emo cosplay that scares people by being a furry-" Freddy's statement made you gasp and hit him on the arm.

"How Dare You!" You playfully yelled; Freddy laughed at this.

"Fine; next is... Shazam or Captain Everypower?" Freddy asked, sounding a bit more excited aout this one then the others.

"Oh come on, am I a fucking joke to you; Captain Everypower all the way!" You cheered abit, sitting up, which Freddy followed along with doing.

"A-And why is that?" He asked in a nervous manner, which you didnt notice, all you did was stand up and get really excited.

"He's funny, he's powerful, he's decent on the officiency level, he's quick with his job, he puts people before himself; and like, you Shazam does the same thing but whats sets them apart is that Captain Everypower is just so much better looking" you made a fainting motion at the end of your rant.

Freddy's excitment in your statement went unnoticed by you once again as he nervously figgeted in place.

"-And it would be so cool to meet him! I bet it feel like a dream to be around him! And to touch his skin; Ive always wondered what bullet proff skin feels like!" You fanned over captain everything "Wouldnt it?" You sat back up and got really close to Freddy, who was panicking on what to say.

"O-Oh you, he's a r-really cool guy; met him a few times, great guy-"

"Does This Mean You Know Him!" You squealed in excitement.

"Y-Yeah, we're practically best friends" Freddy lied, bullets of sweat rolled down his face as he tried to to stumble over his words to much.

"Why didnt you tell me?" You asked Freddy.

"Because h-he wanted it to be a secret; and I was like why, and he was like cause its for your safety" Freedy shakely explained.

"But Why now?" You kepted asking questions to get the answers you needed.

"um....Be-because... He has agreed t-to meet...you" He lied through his teeth, only digging his own grave of regrets more.

You froze, shocked as to what he was say but to stunned to see through his semi-lies.

Um.. are you-"

"Oh My Gosh! Freddy! Thank You! You Are So Cool!" You cheered, jumping at him to get a big hug.

"n-no problem"

"When do I get to meet him? where? what time?" you asked frantically.

"Uhhh... tomorrow, after school, the convenience store down the street; O-of course if h-he's free that is" Freddy shakely answered; making you stand back up and cheer in glee.

"Oh I cant wait: I need to head home but I will see you tomorrow!" And with that you rushed out of the house.

"Wow, that was something" Billy walked over and leaned on the door frame, watching as Freddy panicked.

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into.... Can you help me?"

"Nope" Billy said

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The next day you basically floated down the hall you were so happy; and it was very clear to both Billy and Freddy as to how excited you were.

"How did you get me in this plan again?" Billy asked.

"Cause you care for me and I care for the fact that Captain Everypower has a super fan that is hot" Freddy whisper yelled to Billy, who sighed.

"Fine: so the plan is that distract superfan while you get out of school and ready for the little rendez-vous?" Billy asked, making Freddy nodded as the bell rang for the last class of the day.

They nodded to each other and walked off.

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The bell hadnt even rang and you were running out of class, to excited to meet Captain Everypower.

You rushed down the hall and to the front door, but before you could get off school grounds, Billy Baston appeared infront of you.

"Hey... um...." Billy hadnt though of a distraction.

"Oh Hi Billy" You Happily said"Whats up?"

"Um...whats got you so smiley?" He asked as he watched behind you as Freddy walked off school grounds as quickly as possible.

"Im going off to meet Captain Everypower" You said with pride, making Billy fake a surprised expression.

“Wow, thats really cool-“ Billy nodded.

“Yeah! well, i have to get going! Bye!” you cheered as you almost bolted off.

“W-wait! Um, Freddy wanted me to tell you that he is unable to make it to the meet up you are having” Billy covered up, panicking a bit more at you excitement.

“Oh, why?”

‘Shit!’ Billy mentally cursed.

“Well, um, he’s-“

“He’s helping me with a projected in art” Darla came butting in the save the day, leaving Billy in relief.

“Oh well, tell him ill see him later; Bye you too” You then ran off; leaving Billy to really let out a sigh of relief and walk home with Darla.

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You waited patiently by the convenience store, waiting the arrival of Captain Everypower in his bright blue super-suit and curly hair that reminded you of Freddy’s in a way.

You were almost jumping down the street at how exhilarated you are for this encounter with the hero and types of questions you would attack the hero with; where did he get his powers? What’s the suit made of? What’s it like to fly? What its-

Your thoughts were interrupted by wind crashing down behind you, you turned yourself to see a very frantic looking Captain everypower.

He looked around a few times before spotting you, then straight into himself out.

“Evening citizen” He said, putting his hands on his hips as he broaden his shoulders.

You were gonna faint at how cool this was.

“I heard from my very good friend, Freddy Freeman, that you, my friend, are a fan of me” He confidently walked over, but not with out stumbling a bit; which concerned you.

“Are you ok? You look tired; Do you need to site down?” You frantically asked.

"O-oh yeah, just was off saving the day and s-stuff before coming here" He waved you off, but his responce excited you.

"What type of 'saving the day'?" You asked, almost jumping at him in curiousity of the question.

"Well, some man tried to steal a womans bag and i stopped it, sent him to jail" He proundly said, making you fan over his actions.

"You are so cool!" You yelled out.

These conversations went on for the next 20 minutes; talking about cool superhero stuff and the best ways to take out villains.

But sadly he had to go, and so did you.

So he bid his good bye and flew off, leaving you as a stuttering mess of excitment and the fact that you believed that it was all a dream.

You made your way to Victor and Rosa's place in a dreamed dazed at meeting captain everything, skipping and humming to yourself with a big smile playing on your lips.

You knocked on the door and Victor answered.

"Hi, Freddy's just up stairs if you need him" He stepped out of the way as you nodded, making you way up the stairs of the home and into Billy and Freddy's shared room.

Freddy was laying on his bed, looking tired as he mumbeled to himself about something when you walked in.

YOu threw yourself down beside him, which obviously made him jump.

You hugged his waist tightly; "Thank you thank you thank you so much" You said, kissing his cheek as he becomes very embarrsed.

"N-no problem... I bet he enjoyed his time with you very much" Freddy said, pulling you close as Darla and Billy watched from the door way.

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Thank you so much for the request and your patience, I really hope you all enjoyed it.

If their is any request you want the fit onto my request list then pleasse dont fear to send it in.

#Shazam x reader #captain everypower #Freddy Freeman x reader

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