#I think it’s the medication and the realization that this is my final semester

[andhumanslovedstories]

I’ve been struggling lately with the feeling that my job is pointless. Intellectually I know it is not—nursing is one of those professions where you get to be real smug about knowing the value of your work. But it’s still felt very pointless. Like I’ll start a shift thinking, “what am I even doing here,” and end it thinking, “what have I actually even done.” It’s been a ROUGH couple months.

But I had a really good shift last time I worked, which was good for the soul and also a very useful data point. I got to do pain management advocacy and symptom management, met a bunch of cool patients, did education for new nurses, and had several long heart to hearts, which the kind of midnight heart to hearts that I think are the most important part of night shift, all of that while being well staffed with very pleasant and appreciative patients and coworkers, and I was still like. Pretty depressed. I had a sense of satisfaction and moments of joy and meaning, but it turns out that one good shift did not cure the depression that has been latched on to me for the last few months like some kind of fucked up mental health leech. As I realized I was still depressed and that it was still interfering with my life even when everything was going well, the sense of peace washed over me was the best I’d felt in a while. Because I was like, okay! None of my usual stuff as worked! I have no excuse not to try something new to get my brain out of the shit ditch it’s slipped into.

So I’m applying for short-term disability. I’m worried I won’t get it, and I’m not sure what the next step is if I get rejected, but I feel so much better having decided to pursue it. It’s so much fuckin paperwork for sure, to a degree that’s overwhelming except that that the form could be a checkbox that says, “you want money?” and I’d be like “THIS IS TOO MUCH.” I’m totally not writing this post instead of finishing an email to my manager. I’m definitely not writing this post to avoid dealing with coordinating all my various care providers. I’m certainly not at every moment worried that I’m secretly faking all this so I can get three to nine weeks of a cool summer vacation.

I was thinking about how I almost flunked nursing school in my final semester because I turned in assignments late for a class with a “no late homework” policy. The professor said that this was reflective of real life, where if you miss deadlines you’re just fucked. I ended up appealing my grade and passing, because frankly it was a weak reason for making me repeat a final semester when there was no issues with my actual work or knowledge. During my appeal, I was like “I also think this policy is ableist. Harsh penalties for late work hurt students with health problems, especially chronic health problems when you aren’t asking for one week off due to the flu but instead for a general and never ending flexibility. I’m not trying to make an excuse but explain why this policy is a bad one. Disabled healthcare workers are an asset to healthcare.” I’m trying to remember my own argument as I pursue help. My depression and ADHD and eating disorder do help me be a better nurse, not because like depression gives you superpowers, but because I manage my chronic illnesses every day, in ways that range from hardly noticeable to life or death. Being kind to patients means being kind to myself, and vice versa.

I’m rambling. I really do not want to do this paperwork or send these emails. And I’m not sure if I deserve the leave I’m trying to take. But I miss being love with my job. I miss enjoying it. I wouldn’t judge someone else for going on medical leave, and my job doesn’t want me to burn out or quit. It almost feels like I have to be skeptical of applying for leave because no one else is. Everyone I’ve spoken to has been very supportive, including my manager. And considering how many unpaid days off I’ve had to take lately, disability leave would be an improvement over some of my recent paychecks. All in all, short-term disability makes sense and seems like a reasonable response to circumstances. But FUCK. I wish it required like 90 percent less documentation.

[lualuabestningdungie]

Heart Shaped Webs | Huening Kai

Genre: fluff, Spider-Man au, non idol au

Pairing: spiderman! Huening Kai x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of blood, injuries and medications, might contain grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.

Lua’s note: Hello! I’ve been thinking a lot about making a Spider-Man series for txt, so Huening Kai will be the first !! Credits to @kang_beatrix for the Spider Huening Kai edit!

Masterlist<3

It was late at night, you were trying to study for your chemistry exam. You were supposed to study with Huening Kai, since he was the best at chemistry in your class, but he canceled last minute because he had a doctor appointment or something like that.

You had already studied with him last semester since your chemistry teacher suggested it because your grades were very low, and surprisingly you understood everything he explained to you and you passed the final exam.

You were very excited to receive tutoring from him again, you had always find him very interesting and wanted to know him better, plus he was really handsome. You might’ve developed a small crush on him throughout this year. Every time you saw him walking down the stairs of the apartment complex you both lived in he would smile and wave and some other times if you were lucky he would walk with you to school.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you heard something outside your room. You stood up from your desk chair and went to check what the noise was. You went to your kitchen and realized the noise you heard was only your cat trying to reach his food container. You sighed and gave him some food and caressed his head.

“Try not to be so loud, I’m studying.”

With one last pat on your cat’s head you went back to your room. You opened the door and turned on the lights. But as soon as you did you realized there was someone else in your room.

A loud scream left your lips, and your eyes widened at the sight of this other person.

“Spiderm- Kai?!” You were so confused. In front of you there was a bruised and bleeding Huening Kai in a Spider-Man suit.

“Yn! What are you doing in my room?!” He said surprised and made an attempt to cover himself with his hands.

“Your room?! This is my room!” What are you doing in my room?!” You responded in his same surprised tone.

He looked around and his eyes widened. “Oh…Oh! I’m very sorry! It was so dark outside and I didn’t see where I was going, or climbing… well it doesn’t matter-“ he started rambling and muttering things until you stopped him.

“You’re Spider-Man?” He stopped talking and looked at you.

“Uh… well I guess there’s no point in denying it.” He scratched the back of his head but he winced at this.

“Are you okay?” You walked closer to him. “You’re all bruised and your lip is bleeding…”

“Oh, it’s nothing, I’m okay.” He smiled awkwardly.

“Let me go get my first aid kit.” You left your room and went to get the kit and some ice cubes. When you entered your room you saw Kai sitting in your bed.

“Oh I’m sorry, I don’t know if it’s okay if I sit here…” he chuckled nervously and stood up.

“It’s okay, you can sit. You seem really tired.” You sat besides him and opened your kit and took out some bandages and stuff to clean his wounds.

“Yeah, it was a long night.” You nodded and started to clean the dry blood from his face. His eyes went shut when you brushed an open cut on his cheek, and he winced in pain.

“I’m sorry!” He muttered a small “it’s okay” and you continued to help him. You were in silence but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. After a few minutes you finished. “There. Just continue putting ice in your head so it doesn’t hurt too much.” You smiled and he nodded.

“You didn’t have to, you know?” He said holding the ice package on the side of his head.

“I know, but take as payback for helping me study.” He smiled and nodded.

“Thanks…” both of you stayed quiet while you put everything back in the kit.

“I’ll get you some water.” You stood up and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water.

When you returned to your room you saw Kai with your cat on his lap, he was stroking his head gently while your cat purred.

“Seems like he likes you.” He chuckled and looked at you.

“I guess, not many cats are fond of me, but yours seem to like me.” He gave you a smile and you sat next to him.

“He’s an introvert, he usually hides when there’s people here.” You said and you handed him the glass of water and he gladly accepted it.

“I thought you were going to be more surprised about… you know.” He said after he took a sip of water.

“Well yeah i was surprised, but I was more worried about how bruised you were.” You chuckled. His cheeks turned into a soft shade of pink.

“Thank you yn…” he said and you smiled. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

“Sure, what is it?” You turned to face him.

“Please don’t tell anyone about it, I don’t know what would happen if everyone finds out I uh, am Spider-Man…” he sighed.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.” You smiled at him and he returned the smile.

“I guess I should get going, we have school tomorrow.” You nodded and he stood up leaving your cat on your bed.

“Yeah, you should get some rest.” You stood up and he opened your window. “You’re going out the window? Don’t you prefer using the door?” You said with a puzzled expression.

“Oh, um you’re right.” He awkwardly said and closed the window. You led him to your door and opened it.

“Well, um I’ll see you tomorrow Kai.” You turned ti face him and he walked outside.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow yn.” He smiled and waved goodbye. He walked away and you closed the door.

You went back to your room and smiled to yourself.

“What the he’ll just happened?” You asked yourself. After a while you went to bed and fell asleep.

The days went by and every other day Kai would enter “accidentally” to your room, with the same excuse of mistaking your apartment with his. But he really wanted to see you. He wanted you to clean his wounds and spend time with you. He started spending more time with you at night, and it turned into an every day thing.

One day you woke up due to the sun rays peering through your window, you got out of bed to close the blinds but you realized there was something outside your window.

There was a spider web covering part of your window. You would normally get scared and start looking if there was a spider, but this spider web was different. It had a heart shape.

“Is that even possible?” You asked yourself.

“Could it have been Kai?”

[doiefy]

nct 127 as cursed college profs

very partially based on stupid shit i've had the pleasure and misfortune of seeing in my own classes. happy finals season girlies </3 i rise from my casket of inactivity to bring you the shit post i wrote on the subway on the way to an exam. whose class do you think you'd survive?

cw: cynical college humour because i'm coping, adult humour

taeil: not even that old, but barely knows how to use technology. spends the first 15 minutes of lectures trying to figure out zoom, then the rest of the time poorly explaining quantum mechanics from a textbook written 20 years ago. trips down the stairs two days into the semester and goes on medical leave, only to be spotted on vacation a week later. no one even gives him shit for it.

johnny: originally the cool, chill prof who occasionally went out for drinks with his classes, until he realized he was cool and tried to get even more hip with the kids. now he uses bad memes in his slides and films tiktoks in his lab. the number of students who ask to get drinks with him significantly boosts his ego, but no one tells him they’re doing it just to cross “drinking with a prof” off the frosh bingo card.

taeyong: the sweetest, loveliest, kindest soul you will ever meet—except he’s only taught twice in his life, just got put in as a replacement for a prof who tripped down the stairs, and gives you the most god-awful final exam known to man. he’s also stressed out (on your behalf) at any given moment, to the point where he just passes everyone with an 80 and calls it a day.

yuta: the hip, fashionable prof who only serves looks and random commentaries on society in the middle of his lectures. undergrads fight to the death to join his research group, but the ones who make it eventually realize he spends most of his time partying with the department’s money. yet still, groundbreaking work comes out of his lab every year…

doyoung: retired from research a few years ago to teach full time, but not a single person knows why. he may offer the clearest, live-saving explanations in his lectures—but he constantly looks like he wants to go home and will decimate your entire existence with a single look if you ask anything about the syllabus two weeks into the semester.

jaehyun: the hot single prof. every single freshman girlie has a sickening, concerning, fanfic-esque crush on him. some go as far as nearly failing his class and then booking office hours with him before finals, only to find out that he’s been using Doyoung’s teaching material for years, without credit. he is very much horrendous at teaching on his own. and very much gay.

jungwoo: wanted to go into early childhood education, somehow got coerced into doing his masters, then his phd, then post doc, then— still fulfills his dreams by treating his students like kindergarteners. this includes gentle parenting of frat boys who won’t shut the fuck up during class, handing out healthy vegan treats, and encouraging “mindful moments” while you write the hardest exam he has ever administered.

mark: refuses to teach because he doesn’t think any of the kids will take him seriously, is forced to anyways by the department. as a prodigy so fucking removed from what it’s like to be stupid, he ends all his quantum lectures with “this is pretty straightforward,” and books it back to his lab on an electric skateboard. yes he built it himself. no he won't let you try and ride it.

haechan: shares an office with mark and spends most of his free time figuring out which organic compounds he can mix together to perfectly recreate the texture and smell of cum. if he doesn’t show up to class, it’s because he’s terrorizing pigeons on the street for science. shows gruesome videos of explosions and chemical fires for a chemical safety lecture. has had the fire alarm pulled on him at least twice.

[interstellar-productions]

I have many thoughts I'm currently trying to get straight in my head involving the foxes, but today I bring you this one.

Warning this is going to be long and might not make a lot of sense, it also might have spoilers for the movie Oppenheimer.

I have no idea how many of you have seen the movie Oppenheimer, but it's probably one of my all time favorite movies. I want to however focus on the sound track today. I'm a music girl and I always have been, its one of the main ways I connect with the world.

The Oppenheimer soundtrack and genuinely one of the best movie soundtracks I've ever heard (in my completely personal opinion). But there's a line in the movie right before one of my favorite tracks plays where a professor asks Oppenheimer if he can "hear the music". This happens because Oppenheimer isn't very good at the practical part of his science, his lab professor isn't at all impressed with him. However the idea of theory is just coming out and the other professor is asking Oppenheimer if he "can hear the music" as a way of asking him if he can see where the strings connect, even if cant make that happen in a lab. Oppenheimer tells him almost desperately that yes he can "hear the music".

Now you may be asking me, Star, wtf does this have to do with the foxes and thus I bring you the idea that the Oppenheimer soundtrack IS the Aaron Minyard soundtrack.

Aaron Minyard is a man built out of blood and violence, not in the same way as Andrew, but he still is. Aaron Minyard has ONLY ever been shown hate and violence and hurt. But he can "hear the music".

When I listen to the Oppenheimer soundtrack while studying I can very clearly see Aaron locked in his dorm, he's learning how to help people through theory, through instinct. He's never put it to practice but he can see it, swirling above his head at night. He can see it when Kevin comes to them in the middle of the night at the winter banquet after Riko broke his hand, he can see it after Andrew comes back from a spare with Renee.

It's like neurons firing, wires connecting. Nuclear fission.

Snap.

Aaron Minyard is 18, in his first year of college, he is 19 in his second, he is 20 in his third.

Aaron Minyard is 16 strung out on whatever his mother brought home and is staring at the TV, his brother sits in a kitchen chair watching in that haunting, deadeyed way of his Aaron hates. There's a day time soap on the TV, some medical drama. Aaron considers it, high as is his and thinks it might be cool. In another universe, another life.

Aaron is 18, he's in his second semester of college, he is sober. He isn't sure this is where he's meant to be at all, his professor is lecturing, the way all his professors in the past have. Aaron is not a bad student, he makes good grades, is attentive to his school work. He's fine.

He listens to the lecture, this professor, this topic, something catches his attention, just like it had that day when he was 16 and high. His eyes narrow, he looks, really looks at what is being presented to him and suddenly, snap.

The music, starts playing in his ears and he can see it. The winding path in front of him. Where he's standing, where he wants to be. Before there had been a massive wall, a cliff really. He'd been sitting at the bottom of a hole, one so deep he couldn't even see the top.

Now he looks and there's no hole, only a pathway forward.

Aaron Minyard is 18, he can hear the music, he can see what he wants to be. It's in front of him, it will take work, hard work, but its there. He can see it.

Aaron Minyard is 18, he hears the music, he runs towards it.

He is 18 and he has finally realized that he's only nothing if he lets himself be nothing. The future is there, in front of him. He can see it swirling above his head at night. It's right there. He hears the music, even if he cant read the sheet, even if he cant play it himself, he can hear it and that is all the start he needs.

Aaron is 18 and he's learning that hearing the music is half the battle, he is 18 and learning the only one holding him back is him.

I have no clue if this makes sense to literally anyone other then me but I'm giving it out anyway because it's been driving me crazy for days and this 5'0 motherfucker needs to leave me alone while I'm trying to study. I need him out of my head please. ( I fear he lives there now and refuses to leave, the guy could at least pay fucking rent)

[silenthillmutual]

i just wanted to thank you for talking about how underdiagnosed ocd is because the worlds perception of ocd had be convinced there was no way i could have it but after looking into it ive realized it is exactly what i have and exactly what has made my life hell for . well my entire life. its so frequently waved off as "just anxiety", even when i was having panic attacks so bad i couldnt function id get told other people have it worse and im just overdramatic. its been legitimately life saving to know that i have ocd. some of my intrusive thoughts put me in a really really horribly dark place before i knew they didnt reflect who i actually am.

that's exactly why i talk about it as often as i do. i don't think it's anyone on here's particular fault for not knowing they have ocd, but i do think it's something not a lot of people would ever consider because any anxiety they have gets handwaved. and bc so many people on the internet aren't aware they have it, they sometimes do and say things that are very much symptoms of ocd, and it hurts to see that. it took me a long time to get medicated + treated for it that i was, like, physically shaking when i finally got the damn diagnosis. it was literally ruining my life between the bipolar and the constant intrusive thoughts. i was taking 8+ classes a semester and blowing up all of my relationships and self-harming and not sleeping and spending every single hour of the day either with someone or with the tv on bc i could not stand to be alone with my thoughts, while basically being gaslit by my mom abt it (for reference she's a therapist so she knew damn well it wasn't 'just anxiety'). and i think a lot of people w ocd

the post was inspired by seeing this meme edit blow up on twitter btw.

[aceship-sconesterprise]

In Our Favor

Part 455

McCoy

McCoy decided to skip lunch and go see Lt. Flores. The hall holding the flight simulators and his office was nearly back to normal after the fire the previous semester.

He knocked twice and waited. He suddenly realized that maybe the man was out having his own lunch, but his thoughts were interrupted by Flores finally calling for him to come in.

“Hello Leonard.” Flores was sitting behind his desk, a partially eaten sandwich in front of him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m intruding on your lunch,” McCoy said, looking over nervously.

“It’s fine Cadet, have a seat.” Flores waved a hand at the chairs in front of his desk. “What can I do for you?”

McCoy drew in a breath and settled himself in a chair.

“Admiral Winston wants Scotty and I to find academic advisors, in hopes of keeping us out of further trouble, and I was hoping you would be mine sir.”

Flores looked at McCoy for a moment, then gave a snort of laughter.

“You do get right to the point Leonard,” he smiled. “I assume this has to do with the rumors I heard over the weekend?”

McCoy’s face flushed, but he continued to look at the lieutenant evenly. “Yes sir.”

“I’ll be much less tolerant of you not following orders than the admiral, if I’m your advisor,” Flores said.

Internally McCoy flinched. “I understand sir.”

Flores frowned slightly. “What division are you planning on joining?”

“Medical.”

Flores lifted an eyebrow. “I won’t be able to help you much there…”

“But you can help me with everything else,” McCoy countered.

“True,” Flores mused. “And I suppose if necessary, after you finish your basics and become focused in medicine you could find someone else over there. I’m guessing getting an advisor is part of your punishment from Winston?”

McCoy nodded.

Flores was quiet for a few moments, and McCoy studied the man as he thought. The lieutenant had been nothing but kind to him so far during his flight class struggles, and had been quite torn at the fact the fire in the very building they were in had been started by one of his students. A student he had had to fail. Flores had told McCoy early on how much he hated to have to do that, that he would rather help a cadet.

“If you’re sure Leonard, then yes,” Flores finally said.

“I’m sure sir,” McCoy answered with a tight smile.

“I’ll have high expectations,” Flores warned.

“I’ll do my best to meet them,” McCoy replied.

Flores smiled. “Have you had lunch?”

“No sir, I came here first from class.”

Flores stood up. McCoy looked at him questioningly.

“Come on Leonard. We’ll get you something from the replicator down the hall, then you can come back and tell me all about what happened this weekend.”

McCoy was first back to their room after classes finished that afternoon. He settled down at his desk after tossing his uniform jacket on the bed. He typed a quick message to Admiral Winston letting her know who he had chosen for an advisor, then began to work on homework.

“Hello love,” Scotty greeted him as he came in a bit later. “Missed ye at lunch.”

McCoy looked up from his books.

“I went to see Flores, and ended up eating with him,” McCoy explained.

“I ken,” Scotty grinned as he leaned down to kiss McCoy. “Andre asked Averie.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Hopefully Father will call them back soon.”

Part 456

Scotty

Dinner was pretty relaxed. The friends talked about the day and after dinner Scotty and Leonard followed Aporal.

"Has Admiral Winston spoken to you yet and told you your punishment?" Leonard asked with interest.

"I mean... Actually, it's punishment enough that yer projects have been confiscated," Scotty added. He really didn't think it was fair. Aporal had shown great courage and intelligence.

"You mean the thing with the academic advisor? Yes, I had to find someone too," the Andorian replied.

Scotty and Leonard exchanged a brief glance.

"And what about the ban on leaving the campus for a month?" the prince finally asked and Aporal shook his head.

"Nope, nothing like that. I can go wherever I want."

"What, but... that's not fair! We're being restricted in our freedom and you're not?" Leonard seemed almost outraged by this answer.

"Who knows? Maybe they still want to keep an eye on you to protect you. After all, you're not just any normal cadets," said Aporal, shrugging his shoulders.

"I really hope you're wrong about that. I'm so sick of this special treatment! Why can't we be treated the same way as everyone else?" Leonard got angry and Scotty put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Mo ghràdh, it's certainly not like that. Maybe... maybe they just didn't give Aporal this punishment because everyone knows that he spends most of his time on campus anyway and never leaves."

That made Aporal grin and he laughed.

"Scottish boy might have a point there. Not being allowed to leave campus wouldn't be a real punishment for me."

Leonard sighed heavily.

"Well, if you say so... In any case, I just hope this month is over quickly."

Scotty couldn't argue with that.

"Aye, me too."

The next morning, Scotty and Leonard were the first at the breakfast table, but they were quickly joined by Jim and Spock.

"I'm telling you, there's something going on between those two. I've seen it clearly," Jim was just saying to his boyfriend as the two took their seats.

"Jim, it is none of our business," Spock replied calmly and collectedly, but anyone who knew him for any length of time could see that he seemed slightly annoyed.

"Who are you talking about?" Leonard asked and Jim rolled his eyes.

"Isn't that obvious? We're talking about Jaylah and Aporal! I'm a thousand percent sure they're a couple!"

Scotty felt unease spreading through him. It was so typical of Jim to poke his nose into such matters and he would definitely talk to all their friends about it. Before Scotty or Leonard could say anything, however, Spock was already speaking.

"Why do you care so much, ashayam?"

"Well, because it would be pretty cool! I mean... Another couple in the clique? That would be great! I don't know why they're making such a secret of it."

The others present just sighed.

"Maybe you're just wrong, Jim," said Leonard and Scotty admired how calm his husband said it. After all, they both knew the truth.

Before Jim could say anything, Jaylah and Uhura came to the table.

"What is James T. wrong about?"

[springstick]

Semester 3 Recap as an MLS Major ᐟᐟ☆

Major Accomplishments: ʚ I have the opportunity to graduate a year early! ʚ I passed orgo! ʚ I actually took care of myself! ʚ I survived my most hectic semester yet!

Biggest Lesson: I can't actually get perfect grades and take care of myself fully at the same time. I would rather take care of myself, though. I didn't make the dean's list for the first time, but I actually felt good about myself and I felt that my mental and physical health were finally in a good place. A 3.4 GPA isn't going to kill me, but I will admit it made me upset. I have to realize that it isn't the end of the world to prioritize happiness over academic success.

Next Semester Goals: ʚ Get on the dean's list again ʚ Get halfway through writing my book (or to chapter 10 if I'm unsure what halfway is) ʚ Find housing for next year ʚ Figure out Physics at a community college over summer ʚ Fully flesh out my studying habits (I say this every semester oops) ʚ Start journaling in a more structured way

Rundown of each course:

Courses & Reflection: General Immunology [A]: Any time spent with this professor is truly a blessing. I wish he taught everything. He's really funny, and he's so intelligent that it kinda blows you away. He doesn't shove it in your face though, he meets you at your level. I'll miss him!! General Microbiology [AB]: The lecture was mid, but the lab... I love microbiology so much. I want to spend the rest of my life in a microbiology lab I think. It gets repetitive, but it's just so therapeutic and fun and everything I love about biology. Micro has always been my favorite discipline, but now that I got to fully indulge, I know for sure this is what I want to do. Basic Medical Lab Techniques [B]: I am kind of disappointed that I got a B in this class, because it's specific to my discipline. I do think that it taught me to be more diligent in the future, and to invest deeper into the material. Most MLS students at my school are pre-med, but I actually want to be a medical lab scientist. I have to put in the work, and I think this class set me up very well for that. I have a lot of new studying methods to test out and refine!! Organic Chemistry I [B]: My goal for this class was literally to pass. The fact that I got a B actually shocked me and made me really happy. I did put a lot of effort into orgo, and I tried harder than I have in any other chemistry course. I think chemistry finally clicked for me this semester. Anatomy and Physiology I Lab [B]: I got an A in AnP over the summer, but I was having a rough week when the first practical came along and I totally bombed it. So I will say that the B was a comeback from the DF I started with. However, I will keep better track of my practicals next semester, because that's lowkey embarrassing. Enterprise [A]: This was really fun, because it's so outside of my wheelhouse. I definitely did not expect to work on an engineering project in my academic career, but here I am. I love my team, and I'm really happy I did this. I'm going to stop trying to insert myself into the engineering side, and focus more on the medical, patient need, and kinesthetic side of building the prosthetic. Especially once we get into physical testing. I might ask my prosthetist for advice...

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: April 8, 2024 🎀

Monday was a decently good day for me. Me and my boyfriend had to sort out some stuff after arguing Sunday night but everything is good now, work had went amazing, and I got a lot done. I know everyone hates Mondays but I genuinely look forward to them.

🩷 What I Accomplished:

assigned reading quiz for psyc

chemistry homework

chemistry extended lab report (finally got my notebook back)

2 medical terminology lectures

medical terminology flashcards

medical terminology self + timed test

meeting with a financial aid advisor

submitted my application for a 2nd job on campus

prepped myself amazing at work

studied Spanish

made a study plan for chemistry for the rest of the semester

🩷 Good Things That Happened:

got to see my dad for a short bit

work went super good and I finished very quickly

got to zoom call my boyfriend and it went well

started the first episode of Parasyte The Grey on Netflix and in already hooked

got my lab notebook back from my friend

was able to leave my study room early due to lack of stuff to do

have more space in my room now cause my dad took a bunch of stuff I needed to get rid of

drank half a gallon of water total (I never drink that mih even tho realistically I need more water then that daily)

🩷 What Could've Gone Better:

ate too much and didn't eat the healthiest, but that's okay because everyday is a new day and a new chance to make some good choices

could've spent more time the past weeks looking at the stuff for my lab report so I would've gotten more right

got my chem exam back and I don't think I did as well as I hoped, but the professor hasn't posted grades yet so idk

realized I definitely need to study chemistry more then I thought

So, Monday was definitely a good day overall. I was surprised by how well work went and how everything felt but not mad about it at all! I love having good days! Let's hope Tuesdays just as good <3

btw, check out my depop shop if you get the chance, will be uploading more stuff soon!

til next time lovelies 🩷

💕 Song of The Day:

ILLIT -- Magnetic

When I say this song has been on repeat....I mean it's been on REPEAT. such a catchy song, I love the Kpop genre so much <3333

[sangwoosblood]

Daredevil x Always Worried (College AU)

Hey, I'm always happy to share my work with you. Comment what you want for the next ones, feel free to use my work and reblog! Don't forget to credit me.

The pre-med student keeps patching up her daredevil roommate after his latest parkour stunt gone wrong - until one night he crashes through her window bleeding, and she realizes this isn't just campus mischief. "Stop climbing the chemistry building!" she texts at 2AM for the third time this week. When he falls into her dorm room with a dislocated shoulder, his grin is worth the lecture.

The physics TA keeps finding her reckless lab partner dangling from campus sculptures. His "gravity experiments" become less amusing when she has to call an ambulance.

She maintains a running tally of his injuries in her planner: 3 concussions, 7 stitches, 1 broken rib this semester. He maintains a running tally of her worried frowns (he's winning).

Their shared Google calendar has two event types: "EXAM" and "HOSPITAL VISIT" - guess which one has more entries.

The motorcycle-racing frat boy keeps showing up in her ER rotation with new injuries. When she recognizes the pattern (every Friday after midnight), she starts waiting in the parking lot with her first aid kit.

"You're banned from the skate park," she says, stitching his eyebrow in the campus clinic. "That's cute," he says, already planning his next trick.

She films all his stunt fails "for safety analysis." The 3-hour compilation goes viral after he wipes out during homecoming.

The rock-climbing wall monitor keeps cutting his harness checks short because "I trust you." He starts free soloing just to see her panic.

Their relationship is 50% adrenaline, 50% her yelling "YOU COULD HAVE DIED" while he grins through bloody teeth.

She thinks he's in a fight club when he comes home bruised. The truth (underground parkour races) isn't much better.

"Why do you smell like gasoline?" she asks. "No reason," says the guy who just base jumped off the library in a wingsuit he built from scratch.

The chem major keeps "borrowing" her lab equipment. She only discovers why when she walks in on him testing homemade fireworks.

His idea of a date is breaking into abandoned buildings. Her idea is keeping him alive long to graduate.

She installs a tracking app on his phone after finding him unconscious in a drainage tunnel. He keeps "accidentally" turning it off.

"You'll give me gray hairs before graduation," she mutters, checking his pupils after another concussion. "Then we'll match," he teases, kissing her worry lines.

Their shared Notes app has two lists: "Reasons to Live" (his) and "Reasons Not to Die" (hers).

He keeps her emergency contact as "Future Widow ❤️" in his phone. She changes it to "Your Common Sense" every time.

They compromise: for every death-defying stunt, he has to sit through one boring safety lecture. (He's 37 lectures behind.)

She starts carrying his medical records in her backpack. He starts carrying an engagement ring in his first aid kit.

The nurses know her by name now. "Back so soon?" they ask when she drags him into the ER… again.

"This is the last time," she lies through tears in the waiting room. He squeezes her hand with his non-broken fingers.

His hospital bracelet collection rivals her friendship bracelet collection. She starts weaving them together.

"You're not invincible," she whispers, holding his hand post-surgery. "But I am yours," he slurs through the pain meds.

They meet in the campus clinic so often, the doctor suggests they get a couples discount.

She aces her emergency medicine final thanks to real-world practice (him). He fails his safety regulations course ironically.

His senior thesis is on "Calculating Risk in Urban Exploration." Her rebuttal paper is titled "Don't."

They get matching tattoos: his says "YOLO," hers says "BUT ONLY ONCE."

The dean calls them in after his latest stunt. "We're concerned about Mr. [Daredevil's surname]'s safety." "Join the club," she deadpans.

Graduation day arrives. She cries because they survived. He cries because she finally stops worrying. (She doesn't.)

"You're going to get yourself killed!" "But imagine how cool the funeral will be."

"I can't keep doing this." "Then stop watching."

"Promise me you'll be careful." "I promise I'll be spectacular."

"One day I won't be there to patch you up." "Then I'll crawl to you."

"Why do you keep risking your life?" "So I feel alive when I'm with you."

"You're bleeding on my notes again." "I signed it for you this time."

"If you die, I'll kill you." "Romantic."

"I added 'don't die' to our shared grocery list." "Put it under 'recurring purchases.'"

"You're insufferable." "But you suffer me so well."

"I love you." "I know. That's why I come home."

"Stop climbing the bell tower!" she yells as he dangles from the clock face. His response? A wink before free-falling into the bushes below.

The pre-med student keeps a "roommate injury log" that's thicker than her organic chemistry textbook.

She installs GPS tracking on his phone after he gets lost in steam tunnels for 12 hours. He keeps "accidentally" swimming in the campus fountain with it.

Their relationship is just her confiscating his lighter while he steals it back to try flaming skateboard tricks.

"You can't keep using the campus security chase as cardio!" she screams, bandaging his scraped palms.

The RA writes them up for "excessive noise" - her yelling, him crashing through windows after rooftop jumps.

She starts attending his extreme sports club meetings just to veto the more dangerous ideas (they ignore her).

His idea of studying is balancing textbooks on his head while walking a dorm railing. Hers is hiding all the sharp objects first.

They meet-cute when she tackles him away from an oncoming tram. He asks her out mid-tackle.

Le doyen les appelle : « Monsieur [Daredevil's surname], votre petite amie a déposé 37 plaintes pour manque de sécurité… à votre sujet. »

The campus nurse knows them by name. "Back so soon?" she sighs as he stumbles in with another concussion.

She keeps his medical records in her purse. He keeps using his hospital bracelets as bookmarks.

"This is the last time," she lies through tears in the ER waiting room. He grins through a broken nose.

His "injuries this semester" list includes: 3 concussions, 14 stitches, and 1 broken heart (hers, from worry).

They compromise: for every ER visit, he has to attend one boring safety lecture. (He's failing both.)

She cries when he finally remembers to wear a helmet. He cries when she stops nagging (he misses it).

The EMTs start texting her directly when they pick him up. It's faster that way.

His idea of romance is spelling "I ❤️ U" with his crutches after a skateboard fail.

She tapes his class schedule to his casts so he doesn't miss exams. He doodles hearts around her notes.

She films all his fails "for safety analysis." The 3-hour compilation accidentally screens at the student film festival.

"Why do you smell like gasoline?" "No reason," says the guy who just built a homemade rocket sled.

His senior thesis is literally titled "Calculating Risk: Why Not?" Hers is "Stop Calculating Risk."

They meet-cute when she pulls him from a dumpster after a failed backflip attempt. He asks for her number mid-stitches.

His idea of a date is urban exploring abandoned buildings. Hers is keeping him from falling through rotten floorboards.

The physics professor bans him from "experimenting with gravity" after the pendulum incident.

She starts carrying a first aid kit after their third date ends in the ER. He starts carrying an engagement ring in his.

She starts having nightmares about getting that phone call. He starts leaving her little "still alive!" notes everywhere.

He starts wearing a helmet just to see her smile. She starts crying when she sees it (he panics).

They compromise: for every death-defying stunt, he has to name one reason to stay safe. His list is just her name, repeated.

After graduation, she finds his childhood medical records. The dates match his parents' funeral. (Oh.)

She gifts him a helmet with "STUPID SEXY DAREDEVIL" painted on it. He wears it to graduation.

His vows include "I promise to text before attempting anything fatal." Hers include "I promise not to murder you."

The campus memorializes his craziest stunts with "[Daredevil's surname] Was Here" plaques. She adds "STOP GLORIFYING THIS" underneath.

He becomes a stuntman. She becomes an ER doctor. The universe laughs.

She writes a bestselling in her diary: How to Love an Idiot Without Becoming One. He writes the foreword from a hospital bed.

[shesthenurseondutyy]

The Importance of Having Your "Whys" in Nursing School🤔💭✨

Hi, the Nurse is IN!💕🫧👩‍⚕️

As an OA nursing student 🤭, I want to share my sentiments about this thing, especially now that I quite feel lost again and using every brain cell that I have to navigate through this second semester. So, let’s go! This is #Gabreflects✨💭

Sorry to say this again and again and again, but Nursing is not for the weak. It is exhausting, frustrating, and will push you to your limits in ways you never thought possible. And yes, I am saying this as a tired second-year nursing student 😖who has cried more times than I can count😅

From the very start, and even now in the first few weeks of every semester, we always get asked the same question. "Why did you choose Nursing?" I swear, I have heard this question a billion times 🤷‍♀️😵‍💫. And every time, I would give my usual answers. "I have always been fascinated with science." "I think Nursing is a practical course for medical school." "I want to serve others, especially the sick." These were the answers I had been holding onto since I was a kid who dreamed of becoming a doctor. But as I went through Nursing, those answers started to feel different. I questioned them. I doubted them. There were times when they felt empty, like I was just repeating words without really believing in them anymore. I remember sitting in my Theoretical Foundation of Nursing prelim exam, staring at the paper, completely overwhelmed. In that moment, I seriously thought about giving up. How did I even get here? Do I really belong in this profession?

Then there was one night in my first year, first semester. My cousins and I were hanging out, sharing drinks, just talking about life. And out of nowhere, I started crying. Not just tears in my eyes, but the full-on, body-shaking kind of crying. I cried so hard I even puked. I told them everything—how Nursing was too much, how I felt lost, how I could not see myself in this profession. I felt like I had made a mistake. And that was not the last time I broke down. The night before our first-ever case presentation, I was trying to hold everything together, trying so hard to be a good leader, even though deep down, I felt completely clueless. I was terrified of disappointing my group. I was overwhelmed, but I kept pushing until I could not anymore. I cried that night too. Then there was Pharmacology. I will never forget the feeling of seeing my partial grade. Sixty-nine. A failing grade. Not even a seventy-two, just a sixty-nine. I remember staring at it, feeling like all my hard work was not enough. That night, I cried again, wondering if I was ever going to make it.

But through all of it, I kept going. Somehow, I took small steps, one after another. I celebrated small wins. And despite all the struggles, all the breakdowns, and all the sleepless nights, I reached things I never thought I could. I became a consistent Dean’s Lister. I never imagined it, but I made it happen because I refused to let my struggles define me. One of the things that helped me push through was looking forward to my Capping and Pinning Ceremony. I remember my cousin telling me, "Just take small steps and embrace small wins. I cannot wait to see you in your capping and pinning." That stuck with me. It became one of my whys. I kept reminding myself that I just needed to get there. And when the day finally came, standing there in my uniform, receiving my cap and pin, it felt surreal. It was a moment that reminded me of how far I had come 💉✨.

Now, one of my biggest whys is something I never expected. It is not just about science. It is not just about med school. It is about every patient I meet in every shift. It is about trying to make a difference, no matter how small. Whether it is easing their pain, offering them comfort, or just being there for them, I have realized that this is what keeps me going. I have been doing it scared and sometimes clueless, but still find my reasons to keep going, to keep learning, and to keep on improving.

If you are a nursing student who feels tired, lost, or unsure, I want you to know that you are not alone. This journey is tough, but your why, whatever it may be, may it be small or great, may it be foolish or deep, it will get you through it, TRUST ME. And even if it changes along the way, that is okay. What matters is that you keep going. Keep taking small steps. Keep showing up. One day, you will look back at all the struggles, all the tears, and all the nights you thought you would not make it, and you will realize it was all worth it. You are going to be the nurse you once doubted you could be. And I promise, that will be one of the best feelings in the world 🫧✨

[quiet-curiosity]

Omg

I was writing something about the differences between how I feel now & 2016

And I just realized something

The election results last time hit me really hard. I didn’t get out of bed for a week+ I couldn’t eat. I cried until my eyes were bruised. I almost failed my last semester of grad school & I constantly thought about killing myself all 4 years. I put my life on complete hold. Had an escape plan every where I went. We moved 7 times I those 4 years because we had to live with family to pay off student loans.

Some places we had to live were aggressively conservative. Like active kkk groups & shrines to trump everywhere. My (Latina) wife was constantly verbally abused at work by her boss. It was a nightmare. We felt so alone. When we were finally able to move to a slightly liberal area in Michigan- Covid hit.

That since moving to the PNW - whenever I’ve gone back to the Midwest. & particularly whenever I even see white midwestern folks or when I hear their accents I’m filled with this fear. This trapped feeling like I don’t trust anyone I have to get out I’m not safe. These people are not safe. I am not safe.

Even now thinking about this hypothetical midwestern person my chest & throat feels tight & my body is tensing

It’s fucking PTSD. lol I just cracked up laughing in shower when I realized it.

It feels like a weight is lifted.

I know how to help my PTSD from therapy for my medical ptsd & my c/ptsd from experiencing neglect as a child

[partyanimal167]

Something is Up- Law x F!Reader

Hello fantastic people! I finally got hit with which prompt I could use for my Spy Event with Law. It's been awhile since I wrote his character, but the complexity of it as well as his knack for planning lends itself to this one. I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to check out the event list for any request you want to send my way.

✒️ A Not-So Secret Identity- Law x F!Reader

cw: sfw, fluff, witty/silly reader, author knows nothing about medical school

There was just something that was...off about him. You had a gut feeling about the situation, but you weren't sure if you were just sleep-deprived or actually right.

You stared at the stacks of papers you had just finished grading for your professor, and you nibbled on your pen as you held the last one. This particular student was just...different.

It was difficult to grasp the range and terminology of human anatomy and biology, but there was just an odd way about how this guy--Law--got things wrong on his tests and mistakes in his papers.

You had watched him in class. He looked to be around your age and didn't stand out too much. He didn't answer questions often--not trying to show off or brag about near-perfect scores like his classmates did. He sat near the back off towards the side. He took notes during the professor's lecture, but even the way he moved and followed along felt so calculated.

You had spoken with him a few times--gave him props for citing a recent medical journal with untraditional authors of women and military doctors. He only nodded and mumbled in response, but it had you thinking. You didn't know how he accessed that journal since it wasn't part of the school's main databases. You shrugged it off.

But then you realized that there were some inconsistencies with the information he seemed to retain and what he definitely knew. There was just a confident, knowing presence about him that you made you curious.

You marked up the paper in your hand, and just for funsies found a folder with old papers from earlier in the semester. You found Law's and skimmed over the marking notes which confirmed your suspicions. In the more recent paper, there were some errors and misuse of terminology relating to muscle fatigue and lactic acid. However, in the paper before, Law went into great detail about lactic acid accumulation and how it relates to muscle usage. It just wasn't something that the man would get mixed up or forget about weeks later. Of course, your professor had fifty other things to worry about and only wanted you to put in grades, but it got you thinking.

~~~

Law wasn't sure whether or not he was thankful to be seeing the traditional process of becoming a doctor (compared to his fast-track government training) or if he wanted to shoot himself. This wasn't the worse undercover job he could have, but at the same time, maybe it was just a bit too fitting to have him there.

Progress was being made though. There was plenty of evidence of money laundering as well as some hidden human research being facilitated by the university on public volunteers. Most of this was being handled by only a couple of staff members and a too-wealthy alum as the head. However, Law needed to see if there were any other cracks he could find on the campus. So he thought it was great when his TA reached out to go over some study material. He could finally confirm whether or not that anatomy professor was in on this.

Law thought he was so lucky.

Law is never so lucky.

He gawk at your smiling face and bubbling vibes as you beamed while taking a sip of your coffee. "What did you say?"

You giggled as if he asked the silliest question ever. "I want to help you with your investigation." you replied.

Law blinked dumbly. Yes he did hear that correctly, but there was no reason to panic yet. He had a cover to keep. He tilted his head and tapped his notebook--trying to seem nervous yet confused. "I- I don't know what you're even talking about... So um-,"

"Your actual name is Trafalgar Water D. Law; you came to this country when you were a child. There's some murky details about where you're from, but you were in a private, recluse school--which I'm assuming is some crazy classified government thing. Your specialty is in cardiology and have been a part of some public-funded studies." you seemingly announce your findings with a proud air.

We need to hire her. Law didn't know what to say. He hadn't planned a protocol for if his cover was blown because there was no reason it would--he thought. He blended in well-enough, and most research doctors weren't making public appearances. He avoided a lot of attention despite his findings because of his work affiliation. It was easier for people to assume he was some rich brat.

More silence. "Should I keep going? Your residential address is 54-,"

"Okay, okay, enough." Law let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't want to push with how much you knew, but there wasn't a sure way to quiet you yet. He had to see if you were a threat. "First of all, what made you even think to question me?"

You shrugged as you finished off your drink. "The differences in your papers just didn't make sense. At first, I thought you paid someone off to write it for you, but I never see you hanging out with anyone. Then when I looked up some of the contributors from your resources, I came across a peer review you did with that same doctor. I must say I do enjoy your work." You laughed awkwardly.

Law wasn't sure what to say. You were smart; that's for sure. But you were just too giddy about your findings for it to seem like you were...bad. He would run a background check just to be sure later, but he had to handle this first. "I- okay thank you. But listen, this isn't something you can just tagalong in. There's a lot at stake."

"Awww, but Law," you whined and pouted.

"I commend you really, but a lengthy Google search isn't enough to-,"

"The school's medical supplier is on it too. They sometimes bring in real pills instead of the practice sugar ones which spread to others." you added on.

Okay, I did not know that. Law wasn't totally convinced. "And why do you know that? Why would I even trust you?" he argued.

"I was cleaning up a practice lab and saw a bottle. I didn't think anything of it until I googled the name and nothing came up--not even a trial. I didn't think about it too much but now..." there was a lot of hope in your eyes. "So can I help?"

Law only looked back at you slightly annoyed and conflicted. "No." then you hit him with the puppy eyes, and Law knew he needed back up on the situation. "Okay, look. Let's get you in and take a couple statements. We're going now."

You shrieked happily. "Ooo, going to HQ? Will I get a visitor's badge? You should totally let me see some of things you're working on. One of the ideas for dissertation is-,"

Law listened to you ramble on as he walked you guys out the building and through the parking lot. He had a solid plan laid out, and somehow, he was now dealing with you in the mix. You were an uncontrollable variable, and he had a feeling that he was going to be dealing with you more than he prepared for.

~~~

The reader kinda reminds me of Luffy lol. It's just fun to be silly. Also, this is a little reference to joke of how women need to be in the FBI because of how much information that can get. The dots were connecting for sure.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to check some other works out or shook me a message.

Bye~

[strugglinguist]

I've had a realization, and I need to share it before I forget it. We need some context first, though.

My therapist and I talked at length about how to navigate the start of the new semester in the best way possible for me in terms of the change in routine, sensory issues, mobility needs, etc. She wanted me try to be proactive rather than reactive to the situations that arise. (She's a very good therapist.)

Sorry this is a long one. Click for more I guess...

For example, I have a heart condition called Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia (IST). Along with what I like to think of as a medical license to be inappropriate at any time, it means that my heart will race for no reason. Sometimes it's postural like POTS, so I can stand up too fast... but I can also just... feel like I'm sprinting when I'm sitting very calmly. Imagine you sprinted on and off all day. You'd be exhausted at the end of the day, too! With meds now, it's a lot better than it was... so it's more like... I'm jogging throughout the day? The analogy has gotten away from me. 🤷‍♀️

Whenever my heart races, I get really hot and break out in sweat from everywhere. This would just be annoying, but I am REALLY REALLY heat-sensitive. It is one of the top 3 ways I will go into an Autistic meltdown. So my heart races, I get hot and sweaty, and then I can't focus on anything else. It doesn't take long for the situation to get out of hand. I know this, so I have a little desk fan I take with me to classes if I need moving air. This is when my therapist BLEW MY MIND! (She really is a very good therapist.)

She told me that the accommodations I had allowed for myself (sitting while teaching and a fan if I need it) would not avoid a meltdown because they are things you do to maintain equilibrium... if I'm already overstimulation, I don't need maintenance. I need to shock my nervous system back into maintenance. She said, "When you're overstimulated like that, you don't need a fan. You need ice." And like... yes duh! So I got one of those face rollers people use for their skin routine, and it was my "shock" to take with me. And it works AMAZINGLY. Seriously. Life changed.

After all of our prep, this week was a true gauntlet of a test. What was supposed to be a one day adventure of helping the roommate buy a car turned into a 7 day marathon of phone calls, discoveries, learning way too much about the state of car insurance in this country, and then finally getting everything in order for the DMV to close for a holiday weekend. It was also the first week of classes, so I was returning to my job that very loudly rejected me this summer. It's hopefully my last year in academia, so I'm feeling every emotion. Oh and my dad was in the hospital for an amputation. Basically... it was ripe for meltdowns basically every day. And let me tell you... not a one. This summer I've been having a meltdown about once a week. I can't... this therapist deserves all of the money.

Now for my realization! (Remember that was where we started?) I realized that in the past when I knew I was overstimulated and couldn't promptly exit the situation, I would try to dissociate and go to a happy cold place. Somehow, I had subconsciously bought into the idea that Autistic sensory needs are mental needs... and they are quite literally physical, nervous system needs. And when you treat them as such, and don't try to "just push through" the very real physical situation you are in that you are sensitive to... life gets exponentially better. Seriously. My life is so much better. I just needed to share. 😊

[askpokeeosin]

Has this been killed and subsumed by Ask Quarantined Redheart?

Okay, I do feel like this does need to be addressed. The short answer is not quite but Ask Poke Eosin specific posts continuing forward are going to require a major change in the blog. Keep reading for the very long, probably rambling answer.

When I started the blog, I was on my holiday break after my first semester of my first year of medical school. My mental health wasn't quite in the toilet but it was getting pretty close. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was struggling to get my studying flow down while still maintaining my hobbies, especially drawing. Couple that with getting depressed/burned out right at the end of that semester while binging Firestarter Spitfire/The Sunjackers and the decision to make this ask blog came about mid-ish December 2022. So I have this blog to thank a lot for helping to make my drawing hobby more consistent.

Now comes the part where I have to take an honest look at what I meant for it to be and where I'm at now. The original intent of the blog was to be this sort of educational blog about the current state of evidence based medicine and stuff that happens/happened to me during medical school, training, and onwards. That second part is the biggest problem. Poke is essentially me, the mod. The "Clinical Quiz" arc from a year or so back is something that happened to me and the way I (mostly) present it is how I tell the story to people in real life. While I doubt any of my colleagues care enough to dig deep for this blog, I still am dancing a little too close to doxing myself with the way the blog is currently.

Perhaps most importantly, I started my third year rotations back in the beginning of August. Pretty much the culmination of all the basic science lectures from the first two years, finally seeing actual patients! I soon realized, though, that I can't present these patients to the masses of the internet, even if they've been redrawn as cute technicolored magical ponies. Not just because of HIPAA issues but just because of the fact that just by going to the doctor and having a medical student like me asking them questions that they'd never answer in any other context. They are vulnerable and I feel like it would be unethical to present them as entertainment. I wouldn't necessarily be against drawing patient presentations but I would seriously need to figure out how to do it without revealing too much.

And finally, perhaps a more selfish reason: I feel like folks like Quarantined Redheart more. The project got its inspiration from a pharmacology lecture about tuberculosis medications during my second year. The fact that TB patients are required to quarantine for at least two months, Rifampin's red/orange body fluid quirk and it causing certain drugs to be metabolized faster, and a third plot point that I won't reveal just yet all came from that lecture. Originally, Quarantined Redheart was supposed to be a side project. The more I worked on it and the more that I fleshed out the plot and its characters, the more I came to love working on it to the point that I'd hesitate to call it a side project anymore. It also gave me the opportunity to say some stuff about the current state of healthcare that I feel like I couldn't do with what is essentially a self insert OC. Seeing that people really do seem to like the story that's being told made turning Quarantined Redheart into the main project a little easier. Is that a great reason to focus one's attentions on a project? Probably not. But it's also the curse of the artist: I draw what I want but the Notes notifications on my dash also lets serotonin stay in the synaptic cleft a little bit longer.

So is Ask Poke Eosin dead? I'm hesitant to say "yes" on that. I think there'll be more shitposts and random educational stuff than any of the full blown patient care stories that I originally thought I'd be doing. But I need to figure that stuff out for sure. Is Ask Poke Eosin dead? Nah. It's just hibernating right now.

[mangodestroyer]

Alright, I'm a few semesters away from earning my BS. I started this journey at the age of 19, fresh out of high school. It's been a fucking mess. Dropping out my very first semester because campus life was hard on me and I had no fucking idea what I was doing, taking a medical leave during said semester because of mental health, working my first retail job (and first job ever) soon after, watching a pandemic start and quitting my job soon after to go back to school while still living at home (mandatory online cause of pandemic), went back to campus during a pandemic where there were lots of restrictions, while still living at home (understandable, but why not continue online?), switching my major a few times, picking up my second job ever (retail again) while going to school and deciding to go back to online learning because life happened (so switching to a school with that option), switching my major a few times before finally settling on mathematics (yes, I've actually stuck with it for a while now), and taking a year break from school before just now coming back to it. And at this point, just wanting to power through the rest of my degree so I can FINALLY have it (it's been four years now).

In other words, I became the exact type of college student I swore I'd never be when I was in middle school/high school.

And you know what? I really wish someone would have seen how grossly unprepared I was in high school and intervened. Told me, in a kind way, to hold off and get some life experience before making such a commitment. Those scholarships and financial aid could have waited. I think I would have greatly benefited from taking a year or two off from school and working a shitty retail job fresh out of high school. I needed to shadow some college classes and do so much more college prep. Look at what these majors actually entail. Learn what it's like to have some financial responsibilities (nothing extreme like moving out into an apartment, but rather paying a small amount of rent every month, buying my own groceries, getting a credit card and learning about credit, etc.) You know, actually be taught some adult things instead of just being expected to learn them on my own? Well, some parents actually are on their kids about these things. Mine weren't/aren't. And it's tough learning it all on your own, so be grateful for your annoying ass parents getting on you about this shit all the time.

And yeah, I bet your ass the retail job on its own would have been good motivation for me to tough it out at that school I dropped out of in my first semester. In hindsight, being a freshman at that school, living on campus, seems like such a pampered life compared to two years in retail. And more fulfilling! Needless to say, I would be delighted to go back for grad school and I can't imagine taking it for granted! As much as I hate retail, and the past four years of my life, my social skills have improved so much and I have a much better idea of what I'm doing. A second shot at my dream school is now something I realize isn't something I can just waltz right into, and quite frankly, it just sounds like it will be a lot more fun in my mid-20's than it was as a teen.

[ros3ybabe]

Weekly Check In - November 12th, 2023 🎀

ugh I feel like I’ve been neglecting my blogs, and that’s not what I want to be doing!!!

I have finals coming up so soon, including exams and final papers (looking at you, psychology research paper). Not to mention I’m still working 5 days a week, classes 4 days a week, working out 3-5 days a week on top of all my adulting duties. It’s safe to safe I have been a little stressed lately, no doubt about that. It really got me bad because it was impacting my relationship with my boyfriend and the last thing I want to do is cause unnecessary stress and anxiety for him. I know I let my stress and anxieties get the best of me when I realized I was the one causing 98% of all of our arguments and issues this last few weeks. Luckily I was able to come to the realization that it had been my fault, so him and I talked it through and worked it out and I missed him that I would work both on myself more as well as work with my therapist and develop better coping strategies for times of high stress.

🩷 let’s recap this last week with some highlights! And then I will tal about my goals for the upcoming week!

I had to go talk to my PSYC TA about how far I’d fallen behind in the class and she was able to give me some encouragement and a lot of help and really set me on the path in the right direction, so I definitely have hope that I’ll pass this class with a B at worst, which is still an awesome grade!

I finally made it back to my cooking class and the professor was so kind, he told me it always upset his days when I’d miss class for the week and he asked me if was doing okay and how things were going. I think he’s in his 50s or 60s, and he’s just a very kind man, reminds me of my own dad. Has that typical old man dad humor and his cooking class has actually help me become more comfortable with my own cooking skills as of this semester. Definitely one of my favorite classes, and my classmates were the best too.

I registered for the next semester and I am sooo looking forward to the course load. Well, for the most part anyways. I have to retake Chemistry 2 as well as the lab but luckily the college offers a supplemental type of course to help with the actual class so that’s gonna be awesome. I’m also taking a sports medicine focused medical terminology course online, another once a week food focused course about food production, a psychology of emotion course (super super excited for this class), and I registered for a yoga class for the semester! I feel like having yoga twice a week will definitely help with stress and relaxation and just overall keep me on the right track health wise for the semester! I think I’m taking a total of almost 18 credit hours but other yoga class itself is 2 credits so it’s definitely gonna be an easier semester at least schedule and course load wise.

My work bestie had her baby shower! I can’t believe she’s 8 months pregnant with a little boy, he’s already so lucky to have her and her man as parents. She was absolutely glowing at her baby shower and I’m so happy that I got to go and support her. I’ve known her for going on three years already so it made my day to both be invited and get to see how excited she got when I went.

I bought matcha powder! (Amongst other health stuff, including some new gym gear for my lower body days) I have a mini traditional matcha set so I thought I’d finally use it no bought some matcha powder online! I’m super excited to try my hand at making myself matcha lattes. I even bought a milk frother so I’m a little excited.

I changed up my fitness goals and routine a bit. I’m still going to the gym 3 days a week for weight lifting, but now two of those are lower body days and the other is an upper body day. I’m also going to continue with my two days of cardio but on those two days I am also going to do some at home mat Pilates to help with my overall fitness, appearance, and health goals. I’ve heard that some lower intensity workouts are pretty good for women with PCOS so I thought incorporating that would be a good idea.

I’m Vitamin D deficient and I had no idea! I used to take vitamin D supplements at my old doctors request when I was a teenager but I stopped when I can rot college because I was no longer being advised to take it nor were my blood levels being check regularly so I figured ehh not a big deal but I recently got lab work done and yep, I am semi severely vitamin d deficient. So now I gotta look into different foods I can incorporate as well as a vitamin d supplement and more time in the sun!

I’ve been keeping up a decent skincare routine with a bunch of new products I bought and can I just say, the Anua Heartleaf Oil Cleanser is an absolute god send. I’m obsessed with Asian/Korean skincare. It’s done so much for my skin, I can’t recommend it enough!

overall, not a bad week this last week. this recap is for only (mainly) November 4th through yesterday, November 11th.

🩷 my upcoming goals and things for this week! (November 12th thru 18th)

Keep up with all my homework and turning assignments in completed and on time. I’m trying to finish the semester off strong, or at least as strong as I can. That just means it’s grind time and I gotta buckle down and get my school stuff done.

Insurance. I need to purchase insurance because the state I live in says I make too much to qualify for full coverage insurance which is an issue with the meds I take and the doctors I currently see, as well as my therapist. Adulting, yay!

Complete at least a draft and/or reel for my dietetics mentor by Saturday/next Sunday as the deadline was to have something sent to her by Monday at noon. So my goal is to have some drafts of content for her as soon as possible.

Work out at least three days this week. I’ve been consistent with going every week for the last four weeks but I haven’t been as consistent with how many days within the week that I’ve been going. So that’s definitely a goal of mine.

Look into a Pilates class/studio I can join by the beginning of next semester. I definitely want to take some classes to help with form and proper technique, but I think I want to give myself some time to build more confidence so that way I can give it my all in the future classes I take. Plus, my finances don’t exactly permit me taking Pilates classes at the moment. So my goal is to do some research now and then make a decision by mid January.

My boyfriend and I are hitting a year and a half together this week! Ahh I love him so much, I’m so excited for yet another milestone. Pretty soon we’ll be coming up on two years and I just couldn’t be happier. My man is my best friend, I’m so lucky and grateful that I have him in my life, especially as my partner <3

Attempt to make a matcha latte! My matcha powder comes in this week so I’m gonna try my hand at making my own matcha now!

Keep consistent with my skin care and self care. Also pick up journaling again this week as I think it’ll help me sort out my stressors and anxieties without harming my relationship with my man or my relationship with myself. Self care and working on my own well being benefit me in so many ways, I just need to keep consistent with it.

Restart my Duolingo and Busuu streaks as an attempt to get back into learning the Japanese language! Also begin to pick up Spanish again! Spanish is not too difficult for me to understand as a lot of people I’m around speak the language and I also took classes in high school and some in college. So I think splitting my time between Spanish and Japanese will be good and keep me from being bored and dropping my language studies altogether. I’m going to start with Spanish Duolingo and just go from there with it! once I get more comfortable with the languages I will start making small posts in those languages! Spanish will definitely come easier than Japanese tho, that’s for sure.

that’s all for this upcoming week! It feels like it’s going to be busy but next week is our break for thanksgiving so that’s one week of rest and relaxation and recovery for me. I won’t be spending the holiday with anyone but I don’t mind, it gives me a day to be mindful and grateful and just give me some time to myself that day, and for the whole week. Everyone who knows me in person knows I definitely need the time for myself. I think it’ll be very restorative for sure.

for those of you who follow my side blogs for my fitness, I’ll be posting to it here soon as well! I think I might update you on my current split and routine more in depth then what I mentioned here. And I’m going to drop a review of some of the new skincare products I’ve recently bought and tried as well! I’ll try to do a mid week update this week on this blog too!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍