#tw miscarriage related

[curiousorigins]

Yeah, I had this whole period of a few years where I was working a near full time retail job, going to college (over full time via credit hours) and commuting around an hour-2 hours each way depending on when in that period and if I happened to get my favorite bus driver. (he shaved a full 20-40 minutes off of my 2 transfers commute.) Pretty much I had time for nothing especially when you factored in that I get motion sick, so I couldn't manage to do homework on the bus (I could at best manage audio language tapes... as that talk to text stuff was bad then and I have audio processing issues) and I wasn't sleeping well. (I've fallen asleep in a moving vehicle twice in my life for longer than 2 minutes. Once after a full 2 weeks of not sleeping for about 5 minutes (according to friend who was driving) and another on the bus during this period. And yes I was awoken because the bus returned to the bus service garage.) and had to actively play rock music (complete with an audio effects CD on shuffle which was the surprising boon to my playlists. I will never create a Mix CD/Playlist without random animal noises and sirens again.) in order to prevent myself from falling asleep in public and leaving my body to the whims of strangers around me.

So funny thing about this period of my life... whether due to the lack of calories. (no required meal plan as part of tuition as I was commuting to school and thus college not obligated to prevent student starvation. However it was a community college and thus real awesome at providing free food opportunities to those willing to follow their nose/rumors of free food with enough free time between classes to indulge.) lack of sleep, financial stress (I mostly save a few minor grants self-funded my schooling... ending with less than $1,500 debt my final semester despite going to college in the U.S. [highly recommend community colleges. However don't do this. I almost died so many times. I got an ulcer that led to 2 weeks of internal bleeding and missed 2 weeks of work and like 10 years+ fearing many foods. Getting a loan in this case would have been smarter. Yes even with how student loans are.] my grades also couldn't keep up and I lost any academic related funding as well. Including eventually the student loans. I pretty much had a major mental health crisis on top of very horrible health crisises... that for a period at up approximately 6 hours of my none-free-time but actual doing homework/studying/relaxing [If I ever had a chance] time. Don't do it.

Anyways I learned to eat one handed. We were raised in a set the table and use utensils with the proper hand etc household... so yeah for me this was a college-age learned skill. I learned to scarf down (already had to a degree. God bless ovrcrowded public schools where) ANYTHING in less than 10 minutes provided I was hungry enough. To eat (sort of neatly) when walking. To chug 44oz of water etc in about 5 minutes. (My job consisted of unloading trucks in lack of climate control in near one of the hottest places on earth for 3 months of the year. Funny thing, also near the coldest for near the same period of time annually. And I was always at risk of passing out from dehydration. I literally hardly peed during this period because I was sweating enough to keep up with the minimal gallon of water/sport's drink etc I was drinking per day.)

I also had started getting into art and social media. (I actually briefly was making minor waves.) and the only time I had to draw consisted of my breaks and meal breaks at work (because again I got motion sick in moving vehicles). I was drawing, inking, and painting in watercolor 25 days a month, completing an average of 25-40 paintings during that month. Work was the main area where I had wiggle room to socialize, so I was often, drawing/painting in the breakroom while stuffing my face with as many calories as possible (I was unloading trucks and at the height of my families' weirdly high metabolism) while talking. So I was penciling/drawing/finalizing an average of 10-15 minutes (while eating), inking in 5-10 minutes and painting in 15-25 minutes/day. (While eating). Oh and because there literally wasn't a schedule where I could possibly eat a meal at home 5-6 days/week; I also developed absolute zero shame to munching whereever I was, no matter what was going on (though little kid me was ahead of the curve because PBS used to broadcast surgeries on Sundays and I was fascinated. And would have my lunch/dinner watching them and only once they were wiggling around intestines while I was eating spaghetti and had a bad brain sensory visual textural experience. Otherwise I was good to go.) [as an aside, this includes that poor person who was 'pregnant' for a few decades, via the rare ectopic pregnancy that doesn't cause a patient to go septic, who's surgery ended up being broadcast on PBS for some reason... I would assume exploitation to pay for the surgery itself. That's called

(Trigger warning for link above: Many examples of very late term incomplete pregnancies that are identifiably human fetuses that are not compatible with life. Stopped living often decades before they might have been born had the embroyos implanted elsewhere. Frozen in gestation. Images within that could be disturbing to those mourning a miscarriage, actively pregnant, suffering infertility issues etc. Please do use your best judgement and do not click the link above if you're not in a place where one could take their time, energy etc to emotionally deal with such a disturbance.)

But yeah I can eat in pretty any condition. Not super cleanly... mostly because I don't care. My Dad hates going out to eat with me and has to remind me that I won't have successful dates (while I'm not interested in dating anyone) because of how I eat. While I say, "Might as well eat like a pig on the first date, not that there will be dates. Because this how I eat. If they can't stomach it. Then I'm saving us both some hassle." And quickly too. I can't manage to hold my breath while swimming/diving or do that weird pushing breath out to prevent water in your nose thing. But I can breath while I'm actively drinking and eating. I can also eat while talking while not telegraphing that I have food in my mouth via sound or sight.

Those are just some of the few unintended skills I ended up developing, perfecting out of genuine necessity and survival. And no, I don't ever want to live like that again. I respect myself too much to out myself through it. Of course when I decided I'd take commissions at conventions while selling my art, these are skills that I started to purposefully develop.

Jobs don’t always limit the skills you learn to the job itself. For instance, when I worked at Red Robin, they’d offer 30 minutes for an unpaid lunch, or 15 if you wanted to get paid the whole time. If you think that’s extremely shitty join the club.

As a result of wanting money I got really good at eating quickly so I could use my break to read or relax. I’ve always been a fast eater but when I worked there I learned how to eat an entire burger and fries in under five minute while keeping up a conversation. This is not advisable for good digestion, eat slow and chew your food.

There’s a balance to not talking with your mouth full and eating extremely quickly and it was a regularly used skill for years. When I worked at a sex shop I bragged about it once to a coworker.

She watched me with a timer going after I told her about it and we got burgers. I chatted with her the whole time. I was done in four minutes forty seconds.

Afterward she looked haunted and commented, “It was like watching a snake unhinge it’s jaw but you never talked with food in your mouth!”

More recently my beloved and I were catching up with a friend over lunch. I had a sandwich while they’d gotten falafel plates. We were having a lovely chat but after I finished a story our friend said, “I don’t want your food to go cold while you talk!”

I was surprised. I’d been deliberately talking more so she could eat. I turned to show her my empty sandwich box. Both she and my beloved were stunned. It was like I’d performed a magic trick and made my sandwich disappear because neither had even noticed me demolishing it like a snake unhinging it’s jaw.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Anya Mouthwashing Headcanons

TW FOR MENTIONS OF SA AND MISCARRIAGE

Aroace (not that it matters now)

However, she was still in the closet to most people, as she never really knew how to explain it (some people just don’t get it) or never had a good time to bring it up

21-23 in my head

Likes cute things

Has a really cheesy sense of humor

Also has a bad sense of humor

The dumbest things will make her laugh

Covers her mouth when she laughs

She would unironically enjoy those “hang in there” kitten posters

Sees Daisuke like a brother, and she wishes she had known him before this all happened

Has anxiety, and it just got worse After

Once got so mad at Daisuke during a board game that she considered sabotaging his psych evaluation out of spite

Constantly crashing out during said board games

She gets SO angry

“Anya, please, it’s just a game—” “IT’S NOT JUST A GAME, HE CHEATED”

Feels safest around Swansea

Sorts the medical stock when stressed (both before and after the crash)

Fidgets with the buttons on her jumpsuit

Sings well but too shy to do so in front of other people (unless it’s to do purposefully bad karaoke with Daisuke)

Absolutely drowning in student debt, lord help her

Can’t swim

Doesn’t drink (or, well, she DIDN’T)

Bites her nails down to the quick

Cold hands

Sunburns SO easily

Wanted a pet cat

after the cut are the heavier hcs with the above TW, so proceed with caution!

Aborted by inducing her own miscarriage around three months after the crash. She never intended on having the baby, and even though she held a grudge against the fetus, she wasn’t about to bring a child into the situation on the ship, where it would most certainly suffer and probably die anyway without proper resources.

In similar vein, she never wanted children.

Blockaded her bedroom door with pretty much every piece of movable furniture after It Happened, and she curses herself for not doing that beforehand.

Refused to shower for a good two weeks after It Happened because she didn’t want to see her own body. (And maybe if she’s so disgusting, he won’t touch her again)

She was a bit wary when she first heard that she would be the only woman on the ship, but she rationalized that surely nothing would happen.

For that, she hates herself for being so naive. And she wonders if it’s her fault for letting her guard down.

After the assault, she cried for her mother. Her mom was the only thing she wanted in that moment (because somehow, wanting and getting her skin back seemed less probable than her mother showing up in the ship)

[nonuggetshere]

HIII another FaaF variant yeah sorry it WILL happen again

Content warning: Pregnancy/childbirth, child loss, possible miscarriage mention

(Amanita is WL's name, yes I changed it again)

This is depressing so far but please consider; Hornet, Ghost and Flower (Hollow, for the new here) get to grow up together and play in secret

Flower can hear Ghost's voidspeech because they've got enough void in their system for that. PK, while also being void poisoned, only has some minor poisoning and is a god made of light that can successfully fight it off so he can't hear them

Kind of considering for PK to try to turn Flower into a full vessel in separation to keep them alive but I dunno if I want to include dunking thay baby in ink in this AU (Another idea is that they're dunked but don't become fully void, but reach an equilibrium of void vs light and their condition stabilises)

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

I’m on my second listen, and just finished But Daddy I love him, and it is so fearlessly arranged. i felt the “YOU, you should see your face” in the very end like a slap in the face because of the drums and the fury in the way she delivers it. The whole song is very theatrical (hello little mermaid I see u I luv u and all u symbolize), and walked me straight through the years long experience of defending whatever partner (that was functioning as self harm) I brought home to my parents and how parental reactions (and in Taylor’s case, the wider paternalizing public) reinforce patterns. It’s very Speak Now.

And I love how she leans into the symbol of “baby” and uses it to talk about the shame/scandal/sensuality of forbidden love but also the prize to be won at the happily ever after. What happens when shame and intimacy get twisted, and someone takes andvantage of that? or when the elders at town hall are a corrupt judicial system? We double down, we insist, and we exercise autonomy over the one thing we feel we have control over, ending a relationship. It’s all about the choice, it’s so so relatable. It reminds me a lot of Dolly Parton’s Down From Dover.

[pickedpiper]

Ok this is very random and old news but I’m rewatching some videos on myhouse.wad and had been reading some posts about it mostly the ones that talked about how it can be interpreted as a queer horror story of Thomas and Steven, there’s a lot of obvious context that fits the story but there’s one thing that I’m wondering about.

The baby bottle.

Almost every other item you collect in My House are relics that Steven shared with Tom, the most notable item is a wedding ring which is very clear it can be that Steve and Tom were married, in the airport section you go into the women’s restroom where it becomes covered in blood then you pick up the pills and leave but the sign changes to the men’s restroom but this also makes sense if you believe that either Steve or Tom were trans or questioning their gender identity. These can easily fit into the thematics of Steve and Tom being lgbt.

But the one thing that I haven’t really seen mentioned with this theory is how the baby bottle fits into this. When you go into the attic there’s a crib with a baby bottle in it, when you pick it up it says “it wasn’t meant to be” which sounds a lot like a miscarriage or at least some form of child loss. Not to mention how one of Steven’s diary entries talks about a dream he had where he saw a baby in the crib but it wasn’t doing so well and cried which made him freak out and wake up.

Now what I’m wondering is did Steve and Tom have a child that they adopted? Did Steve used to be married to a woman and she miscarried? I know people don’t care about this mod anymore but for like the 2 people left can anyone please give me their thoughts about what the bottle could mean?

[agirlwithmagicpals]

Au info dump

Tw:Mention of miscarriage, pregnancy, affairs, the hospital, and fertility issues amongst other things

1.The majority of dolluppets ether live in secret or they keep they’re true colors very well hidden especially since the oldest dolls to ever be magically given life are still considered boogeymen unless they are genuinely trying to be good but are still rather flawed.

2.Natasha is a giant demonic snake with muppet type anatomy that is essentially a prophet demon who can see visions of the future, she takes more after her father Lafargo when it comes to having a very dark color scheme and receiving a soft shade of midnight blue on her belly side.

3.Constantine however, is a tall skinny puppety albino hound like false angel who is the only rejected son of Lafargo and the much more uncanny one of the two siblings. He has more angelic powers that are essentially much more twisted into a more darker yet still semi-divine magic that he consistently abuses for his own personal gain even when it causes him great physical pain.

3.Humphrey has some fertility issues due to his intersexuality and has unfortunately miscarried Jerry’s kid without his knowledge although later on after going to the hospital to get better care and coming home with Jerry and his generous girlfriend lida he decided to use howdy as a donor since he’s already registered although this time he kept his pregnancy a surprise before eventually having his first normal muppet child this of course was long before Humphrey had a lovely semi-secret affair with the local mailman Edward until he accidentally had his triplets whilst on an incredibly fun road trip.

4.When Humphrey was in the hospital still, His father barnaby left him a voicemail saying that he was getting married to a lady beagle who was expecting his puppies, however Humphrey didn’t even realize that he was seeing someone since he doesn’t talk to his dad too often and wasn’t able to respond right away eventually he did meet barnaby again at a neighborhood family gathering involving practically everyone there and was eventually introduced to his new wife and they’re puppies, all four of them. And in turn, Humphrey showed all of his new siblings all the love he could.

Around that same time, Jerry found out that his wife was pregnant by accident but decided to give they’re little family a try also Humphrey is still technically married to Jerry especially since they enveloped so they’re polyamorous.

[foolishone-downbad]

going to do a massive personal info dump because I need to vent

so I was always very candid with my husband about what I wanted from life in general.... Basically, to gtfo of Texas ASAP and to be done with having kids by 35 (for many reasons), and also wanting multiple kids.

Anyywaaayy. We had our son in 2020, were handling that and figuring out what we were going to do, where to settle long term, when roe v wade got overturned and we were like yeah so we don't want to try for another kid while we're in Texas, so let's try to get out sooner vs later? Then we decided we'd try to move to Germany because that's where my brother lives! He has his residency! Opportunities for our son!! Amazing!! The plan was to take a year for my husband to go back to school and get his cyber security certificate, save money, job hunt, etc. put off second baby until after the move because it'd be safer and easier (even though the year would put me at 34 and gap between the kids would keep increasing...).

I basically single parented for a YEAR while my husband disassociated from our marriage/family and didn't give a flying fuck about anything I was going through. Like. Wouldn't even miss a single class when I was so sick I could hardly stand up to take care of our toddler, didn't notice I was crying myself to sleep next to him because I was dealing with massive family problems (that's a whole other story but I basically lost my other brother now too).

For my swiftie mutuals... When I say I claimed "you're losing me" for the better part of 2023... I had to stop and sit down to breathe the first time I heard it.

And my husband was just.... Dragging his feet. Wasn't taking certification tests. Wasn't applying for jobs. I was applying left and right and he was just... Giving me constant new deadlines. "I'll apply in January." Then February. Then March. Etc etc. He quit his job WITH NO SAFETY NET. He wouldn't apply for jobs here in his current field to hold him over. He was unemployed for the better part of 2023. Savings ran dry and he was taking loans under the table from his parents without telling me.

Meanwhile.... I'm literally aching for this baby I thought we would start trying for this year. Like. Crying when I'm getting my period, even though we weren't trying.

My husband finally. FINALLY takes a small job because "I fucked up and need something" in December. We decide to try for a baby and I get pregnant.

I did an over the counter early gender predictor and it's a girl! OVER THE MOON. A girl to match my little boy!

But right at 11 weeks I miscarried. I lost her. I'm. I'm so devastated y'all. It was so painful and so awful and my husband told my mom within a week that "we've had time to process it"??? And I wanted to strangle him. My body was still expelling things, and he had PROCESSED IT.

My doctor told me we could try again after my first period and so we did and.....I just got my period again on Friday, so happy fucking mother's day to me, I guess. I just feel like I'm never going to get this little baby that I so desperately want, I really want my son to have a sibling, I wanted that girl so bad.

And we're still stuck here and my husband doesn't seem to be trying to look at jobs out of Texas, out of the US, and I know everyone we told (family) just doesn't think it's happening ever and they are all constantly acting like we're going to be here forever and it rubs this salt in the wound of being here forever, of being a failure at anything I want to do, any hopes I have. And I keep having late night panic attacks doing the math at how old my son is because he'll be leaving daycare to go to school on two years and I thought he'd be okay going to elementary school with my husband if we're stuck here at least but THEN my husband came home with this story two weeks ago about a FIFTH GRADER who brought a gun to school because she was being bullied and nobody found out for a MONTH until she ratted herself out ("so what? I've brought a gun to school") WHAT THE FUCK

anyway when I said I'm spiraling, I'm spiraling, and I know there's more, but this is my current stream of consciousness, i just want to cry and lay in bed for a week away from everybody and talk to nobody

[redridcr]

mmm liselotte's two miscarriages falling in line with two times philippe was sent to battle

[chocobochaserstories]

Omega Heat Cycle Physiology

So, funny story, I'm a Pre-Veterinary Major in university, which means I know way, way too much about reproductive A & P and I thought about Omegaverse too hard and here we are. Totally didn't write this in livestock nutrition today, Not like we had a lecture, Dr. A was momming us because half of the class (me included) had our biology professor call us failures. I love Dr. A she's the best :) Anyhow, here's my take on Omega Heat Cycle Physiology. TW: I don't think there are any, maybe just warning for mildly in depth repro talk?

Omega Anatomy and Physiology

Presentation

Occurs around 12-14 years of age, typically genetically predictable, meaning that for the most part omegas of a family will present around the same age. For example, if multiple generations present at 12 years old, this trend will continue for several more generations. In addition, heat cycle lengths and frequencies are also genetically linked. A mother’s heat cycle, assuming she is omegan, can be used to predict a first heat length. Typical symptoms of presentation include heightened body temperature, cramping in the abdominopelvic and lumbar regions, soreness of the breast tissue, bloating, headaches, nausea, and typical symptoms of arousal. An omega who as not presented by fifteen years of age is considered to be late blooming. This is generally not harmful, but may shift the other stages of development by however many years beyond the normal period of development the presentation heat occurred. 

Pseudoheats

Typically occur between 14 and 18 years of age. During this period, an omega will experience heat cycles, however they are not mature heat cycles. During this period, omegas are capable of conception, however the reproductive organs are still in development, which can result in the pregnancy causing damages that can be permanent. Pregnancy during this period can lead to higher rates of miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, and stillbirth, as well as higher instances of gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, and excessive strain on other non-reproductive organs. Pregnancies carried to viability have higher risks of preterm labor, low birth weight, childbirth complications for both the mother and baby, increased infant mortality within the first week, and increased rates of birth defects. The damages risked during this period also have significant potential to irreparably damage an omega’s future fertility, as well as cause temporary or permanent sterility due to reproductive damages and traumas. 

At this stage, the pseudoheats share many of the same symptoms of presentation heats (heightened body temperature, cramping in the abdominopelvic and lumbar regions, soreness of the breast tissue, bloating, headaches, nausea, symptoms of arousal), but at this point in development, hormonal-related arousal is more common due to hormone values during this period. During pseudoheats, omegas generally mature further towards their secondary gender’s characteristics. Areas of development include widening of the hips, deposition of fatty tissue in the lower abdominal cavity, and overall development of a more feminine silhouette, all under ideal conditions. In cases of inadequate nutrition, the development isn’t as obvious, but the body will still attempt to redirect resources to the development of areas of importance. As opposed to the presentational heat, pseudoheats are characterized by a steady climb in an omega’s hormones. In particular, estrogen, which is essential to the proper development of the reproductive tract and accessory structures. Heat Cycles will still be fairly irregular.

Transitional Heats

Typically begin around 18 years of age and continue until about 20 years of age. At this point in development, the hormones from the pseudo heats peak and stabilize. By this point, physical development is wrapping up and heats that occur during this period of development are very similar to mature heat cycles. Fertility during this period improves steadily, but it is still in development. Heat cycles begin to occur more regularly and stabilize in terms of frequency, length, and intensity. Symptomatically, transitional heats are typically more intense than pseudoheats, but not as intense as mature heat cycles. At this point, the symptoms are the same as the prior two stages, although arousal is greater in intensity in strength. In addition, an unmated, unbred omega may experience cramping or an increase in body temperature (up to a temperature of 101.5°F). During heats, the cervix is also softer and more malleable, aiding in the breeding process. For mated omegas, the breeding instinct is stronger and tends to be one of the few things on an omega’s mind during the peak of the cycle (active heat= ~7 days, so day 3-4). An omega being intimate with an alpha during this stage can expedite this stage and cause mature heat cycles, which is not necessarily good as this can lead to reproductive issues due to hastened development.

Mature Cycles

Occurs from age 21-22 and until the menopausal stages around age 50. At this point, it becomes legal to take heat suppressants, scent blockers, and other hormone medications, which can otherwise mess with development. The only major difference between mature heat cycles and transitional heat cycles is the intensity of cycles increases and the cycle frequency, which stabilizes. 

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Posting schedule: Friday Misdemeanor, and Wednesdays for one the occasional one shot. Tag lists are always open. 

Join us in the VoxTek Discord server for a Vox themed Hazbin place to hang and get teasers for upcoming chapters! 

my AO3 and Kofi

A Misdemeanor Of The Heart 

For MisD, please see the linked dedicated masterlist.

For Eternity (Completed)

Banner by @redvexillum

Alastor x Angel!Wife Oc (Isabel) Rated: Adult Warnings: This fic contains sexual content, explorations of consent within Angel Dust's contract in relation to sex work, Sexual assault, Possessive and obsessive behaviors, Power dynamics, Adam being an ass, kidnapping, Vox is in hell for a reason, Val is in hell for a reason, Vox has a weird thing for Alastor, Angel Dust is sweet as pie, murder, revenge, implied sexual assault and harassment, miscarriage and death.

Summary: Isabel died young, leaving behind her husband to pick up the pieces. Finding herself in Heaven, she waits for her husband to join her. And waits. And waits. Years and decades pass as she faces the realization that Alastor may not be joining her in Heaven, leaving her largely alone in a realm of double standards and fake smiles.

She must decide if she is going to move on from her marriage or do whatever it takes to reunite with her husband. Would he even still want her? Would she survive the dangers to find him? Would the cost be worth what could be gained?

Is Heaven really Heaven if the one you love isn't there with you?

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Another day in Paradise (On hiatus)

Pairing: Eventually Alastor x OFC, later- light Alastor x ofc x Lucifer Rated: Adult for eventual smut Content warnings: It's Hazbin Hotel- this feels redundant. Sex, eventual smut, referenced implied suicide to be discussed in more detail later, drugs, drinking, poor coping, toxic behavior, controlling behavior, cannibalism, idk, it's fucking Hazbin Hotel, if it's worth a content warning it's probably going to come up at some point? Religious trauma. reader has a name/is a oc.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4 (slated for rewrite)

A Taste of Sugar

Alastor x reader Rated: Adult for smut TW: blood kink, bondage, reader with trauma from food insecurity Summary: As you work through the trauma of your life and starving to death, you dismantle your stash of snacks for what you hope will be the final time. Snack cakes, cookies and crackers are given to everyone around you, except one resident in the hotel whom you knew wouldn't enjoy or consume the treats. Then, as the flow of treats tricked to a stop, stash dismantled, small brown boxes containing treats began to appear at your door. Simple, delicious and seemingly homemade treats without so much as a note.

He watched and he waited, each week for your offer. Each week, no offer came and again he left his gift at your door. Why would you not think of him? Why would you not see him? What did he have to do for you to consider him?

Chapters: 1,  2 

Wild Flowers (One shot)

Alastor x reader Rated: Adult, 18+ Content warnings: Sex pollen trope and related questionable consent due to intoxication, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, knotting, praise, dancing that shouldn't be that sexy, biting, a touch of blood drinking, female masterbation, some possessiveness, Alastor being a bit of an ass

Summary: You had always loved flowers, so when you found a patch of pretty purple wildflowers growing in the small forest behind the hotel, you didn't think twice about picking a small handful to bring back to your room. While they smelled lovely, you were wholly unprepared for the side effects of exposure or the repercussions of offering the terrifyingly handsome Radio Demon a smell on your way to your room.

With your body burning from the inside out with an overwhelming need and a displeased Radio Demon pushing his way into your room, you have no idea what you're in for.

All you wanted was to pick some flowers but you got so much more.

Audio version brought to you by @nyx-umbrakinesis,  Pt1, Pt2, Pt3, Pt4, Pt5, Pt6.

Steamy Situations 18+  (One shot)

Alastor x reader Rated: Adults only Warnings: Smut. It's shower smut. Female bodied reader. Careful with your shower sex.

Summary: You're hot and bored and your husband is busy working. If only there was a way you could distract him, get some of his attention and cool off. Audio Fic credits: Read by the lovely @nyx-umbrakinesis (Audio fic part 1, part 2)

Read me to sleep? (One shot)

Alastor x reader Rating: G Summary: After a long, shitty day out and about you drag yourself home to the hotel to seek shelter and comfort in the one place you knew you could find it.

From events:

Antler Play (Alastor x Doe!Reader)

CW: Lightly used incorrect deer facts, ruts and seasons, insertion of an item 100% not safe or intended for insertion, light fem receiving oral, female masterbation Summary: Alastor, having just rode out his rut alone is faced with the startling realization that you, a fellow deer demon in the hotel, have not just come into season but your first season since your death. Alastor is left unable to mate you due to the poor timing but finds other ways to see to your needs and trick your body into thinking the deed has been done.

Mine (Alastor x Doe!reader)

CW: Smut, blood, knots, ruts Summary: Alastor and his Doe have weathered the passing of the seasons, though he has failed to define their relationship and she's been too afraid to ask. Now, Alastor's Rut is upon him and it's time for her to return the favor. *Follow up to Antler Play*

Curiosity (Alastor x Reader)

CW: Sensory deprivation, established situationship, smut, porn with way too many feelings, love confessions. Summary: Alastor overhears Angel Dust telling you about Val's latest thing- sensory deprivation. Curiosity wins out over sensibility.

Not afraid Of A Little Blood (Human ALastor x Reader)

CW: Public sex, period sex, vaginal fingering, licking fingers clean Summary: Out at Mimzy's Speakeasy for a night on the town, Alastor finds himself feeling rather amorous and isn't swayed by your monthly condition or the public nature of the location. You find your will crumbles as he shows he's simply not a man who's afraid of a little blood.

I Own You (Alastor x Reader)

CW: Suicidal thoughts, suicidal actions, Anxiety, depression, shitty fuckin mental health, Pissed off Alastor, possessive Alastor, Branding, blood as lube, Toxic ass relationships, self doubt, smut, mirror sex Summary: After getting a bunch of comments telling you you're not good enough for Alastor, old demons come back to life in your mind sending you to embrace the coping mechanism that sent you to hell in the first place. Alastor stops your plans in their tracks and is rather displeased by your actions.

A Pirate, A wench and Whisky (Alastor x Reader)

CW: Closet sex, drunk sex thus murky consent, clothed sex, p n v sex, cream pies, thigh riding, biting, blood drinking Summary: Charlie decided hosting a costume party would be the best way for the residents to celebrate the season and for the hotel to get some grand publicity. Dressing up wasn't optional. Though you were proud of your bar wench costume- not too skimpy but just skimpy enough, not everyone announced their plans.

The result was a bar wench that did everything you could to avoid the red pirate, drowning your anxiety in shot after shot of whiskey only to find yourself cornered by the very man you could hardly look at when you made an attempt to retire for the night.

Incomplete Summonings (Demon Alastor/Alastor shadow x Human reader)

CW: Creampie, temperature play, demon summoning, virginity, light blood, Sex with Alastor's shadow, Sex with Alastor, human Vox cameo Summary: You summoned a demon to remove your romantic competition from the equation. When your sacrifice was far too little, earning you only the shadow of the demon you had called, you had to find something else to sacrifice to pay the price.

Stuff You like a What?! (Alastor x reader)

CW: Tentacles, gags, edging, orgasm denial, established relationship, suspension, cream pies Summary: As your lover is just about to reach his finish, you complete a dare issued by Angel Dust. The unexpecting words leaving your mouth leaves Alastor's finish in ruins and he is a man that feels an eye for an eye is far too merciful...

Knife's Edge (Human!Alastor x reader)

CW: Knifeplay, stranger sex, smut, creampies, dub con Summary: Stepping away from the party, you tried to get some are. It's a chance encounter with a dangerous stranger that leaves your dress ruffled, your panties missing and you facing some new facts about yourself.

To the Beat of the Music (Human!Alastor x reader)

CW: Smut, sexual harassment, 3rd person, pussy slapping. semi public sex, smut, creampie. It's fucking. Summary: When a flapper won't take the hint that Alastor isn't interested in her, he has no choice but to shut her up and make a point. Sometimes, punishment can be pleasure.

A Monstrous Broadcast (Monster!Alastor x reader)

CW: Post Stayed Gone Monster Al, Size kink go brr, Blood, DubCon, belly bulge, broadcasting sex, cream pies, cum painting... Summary: You were sent to Alastor's Broadcasting tower to tell him something just in time to catch the tail end of Stayed Gone. Alastor is in a rather unique mood and in terrifying form as he decides the best way to work his excess energy off is with you.

Home is where the heart is (One shot fluff) 

Vox x Reader Rated: General Warnings: I accidently spilled a little angst on the fluff serving. Sorry?

Summary: You're cooking dinner when your secret boyfriend comes home. Caught up in the moment, confessions are made and hearts are put on the line.

A Bed of Electric FLowers (One Shot)

Header done in part by the wonderful, amazing, fantastical @redvexillum

Vox x ReaderRated: Adult CW: Sex pollen trope, sex toy use, female masterbation, Vox's glowstick dick, way too many tv details, Male receiving oral,

Summary: A unexpected floral arrangement is delivered to your door as you're trying to ignore the lingering absence of your flat faced boyfriend. When Vox returns home and finds you in a compromising position, he's eager to assist even without a clue as to what has you so worked up.

Sister Dearest (One shot)

Requested: Vox x Alastor’s!Sister!Reader rated: Adult

Summary: Sneaking out of the protection of the protection of your brother's district was dangerous. Not only did you risk Alastor's wrath, you risked catching the eye of some unsavory characters. While you could meet many friends upon the streets of the forbidden tech district, you find Vox and his alluring promises of a good time.He knew of your brother and seemed to hold no animosity, surely he was a friend to the Radio Demon, right? Surely you could trust his company, right?Right?

Power (One Shot)

Vox x Reader Rating: Explicit 18+ Warnings: Porn without plot, Power dynamics, Secretary reader, Choking on dick, Office blowjob. 

Summary: Vox is wound tight after his on air showdown with the newly returned Alastor. The show must go on though and you have just what he needs to get into the right headspace to move forward. 

KittyCat (Vox x Kitty!Reader)

CW: Public sex, heats, electric play, collars, public nudity, breeding, creampie Summary: Being a cat demon, you suffered some of the most extreme heat cycles in all of hell. Every few weeks you went out of your mind with the need to be bred. It didn't matter who, when, where or how.

It was a good thing you belonged to Vox. But what happens when your cycle sneaks up on you, slamming into you a little earlier than expected while Vox is at a meeting? Can you make it to your powerful lover before someone else takes you or will you fall for the first male you see?

Quiet In the Theater (Human!Vox x reader)

CW: Power dynamics (Boss/assistant), Public sex, public fingering, public cockwarming, edging. Summary: As a reward for years of diligent service, your boss rewarded you with a movie date. Except, it wasn't a date and you watching the movie was more of a chore... Follow up to: Dressing Room but not required to be read together

Package Delivery (Vox x Reader)

CW: Roleplay, Electric stim, Blowjobs, doggy style, p n v sex, she really corny porn dialog, oops I spilled a little angst Summary: After working too many late nights and canceling too any dates, Vox decides to make it up to you with an unplanned surprise. New desires are unlocked and explored as two lovers who’ve been apart for too many nights fall back together. 

What’s more romantic than a stiff, cheap VoxTek delivery uniform and a new work laptop, anyway? Follow up to Home Is Where The Heart Is

Teaching Him A Lesson (Lucifer x Reader) (Cucked Alastor x reader)

CW: Drunk sex, Dub con due to drinking, cream pie, breakup rebound sex, noncon cucking, fem receiving oral, bondage for Alastor Summary: After being dumped by Alastor, you soothe your heart at the hotel bar. Lucifer is more than willing to listen to your sorrows and even indulge you when you take Angel Dust's advice of fucking your way over Alastor. Unfortunately, when Alastor sees you slip into your room with someone else, he regrets his choice and Lucifer decides to teach him a lesson.

Lost Flowers (Lucifer x Human!Reader)

CW: Sex pollen, compromised consent, smut, oral sex, fingering Summary: Imps doing whatever the fuck they did dropped a sex flower in the human world and it's Lucifer's problem as the king of Hell to find it. When he finds it, picked up by you, he has a obligation to help you ride out the effects.

Praise Be Thy Tongue (Lucifer x reader)

CW: oral, fem receiving, slight praise kink Summary: After turning your back on Heaven in favor of the man you had fallen in love with, you present yourself to Lucifer asking that he show you the ways of pleasure…

What's This (Lucifer x Fallen!Reader)

CW: Cock ring, overstimulation, pleasure Dom undertones, wings, Luci a bit in his feels, Begging, praise, multiple orgasms Summary: Lucifer's lover, a newly fallen Angel continues her exploration of sinful pleasure as Lucifer teaches her what the cockring she found in his nightstand is for. Follow up to Praise Be Thy Tongue

Hot and Cold (Lucifer x Fallen!Reader)

CW: Wax play, Ice play, Ice put inside the body, Oral, It's just smut, don't put ice cubes up your whooha, only use body safe wax for wax play Summary: Lucifer treats his newly fallen love to a picnic and on a whim decides to expand her pleasurable horizons using the ice from the champagne bucket and the wax from the candles.

A follow up to Praise Be Thy Tongue

Titties (Adam x Reader)

CW: Titty fucking, large breasts, Adam being adam, oral, cum shots, facial Summary: Adam and his new, large breasted lover have been fucking like rabbits but you're tired and sore. Adam though, in love with your curves will gladly take the chance to lavish your chest with some affection.

The Original Dick (Adam x Reader)

CW: Rough blowjob, semi public blowjob, m receiving oral, stalking, reader is a bit craycray Summary: After repeated encounters with Adam at work, through the hole, you have no choice but to follow him in hopes of finding an organic way to meet again. When you're less of a skilled stalker than you thought, you're faced with the repercussions of your actions. (Follow up to crash landings)

Crash Landings (Adam x Reader)

CW: Rough sex, Dub con, sex pollen, degradation, pussy slapping, fingering, compromised ability to consent Summary: After taking damage to his wings, Adam has no choice but to make an emergency landing in a clearing of purple flowers, unaware of the unique flora of hell. While he waits for his flight feathers to regrow, he's met with some rather unexpected side effects of exposure to Hyperrigidus Purpureus pollen. His luck this extermination had been shit but when a pretty little demoness all but trips over him, he is pretty sure his luck was about to change.

Satin Ribbons (Adam x Reader)

CW: Smut, Adam typical degradation Summary: It was once a year that you got to see your angelic lover. A romantic, or perhaps just sexual, tryst you waited all year for. This year, you dressed yourself in something you hoped Adam would think about all year long. (AU follow up to Crash Landings)

Joint Broadcast (Alastor x reader x Vox)

CW: Cheating, Dubcon, brat taming, Anal, double penetration, caught cheating, nonconsensual broadcast Summary: You thought you could have your cake and eat it, too. In this case, your cakes were Alastor and Vox in romantic and sexual relationships. Sure, you didn't disclose your entanglements with the other but what were the odds they would find out? When the unexpected comes to reality, you're left alone with two angry men who could end your existence. They intend to punish you but in the last way you expect…

Casting Call (Valentino x Reader)

CW: Sex machine, sex work, casting call for adult films Summary: Having grown tired of scraping by, you attend a casting call for the leading pornography studio in hell. You're surprised to find the casting call takes place with the head director himself, Valentino. Same Reader as Crash Landings

Fallen For Glory (Sinner!Adam x reader)

CW: Glory holes, sex work, Oral (M receiving), fem masterbation Summary: Seven months after your fated encounter with the First man, you struggled to get him off your mind. Even after a unexpected failed early extermination and the broadcasted slaying of Adam on the battlefield, you couldn't get him off your mind as rumors of him being reborn, sentenced to hell himself made it impossible for you to let go.

And then, sitting in the both of the shitty glory hole joint Valentino ran, you heard his voice once again. Rumors were true. Adam lived and your obsession was fueled by nothing more than the taste of him on your tongue.

This was the best day at the office... Follow up to Crash Landings

[ranfren-confessions]

ABOUT: New confessions blog made to be a continuation of the first confession blog for Randal's Friends, as the first one is now inactive/archived. And before you ask—yes, I did ask for the old blog owner's permission to create a new one and yes, I have been allowed to make it.

Feel free to send in your most deranged thoughts, anonymously or not, it's up to you. You won't receive replies from the Mod—your asks will just be posted to the public, and that's that.

You may also send headcanons! They will be tagged as ranfrenheadcanons.

TAKEN EMOJI/TEXT ANONS: 🐈‍⬛ anon, 💉 anon, potting soil anon, 🎐 anon, 🐁 anon, 🫧 anon, 🍥 anon, 🦇 anon, 🧿 anon, 👻 anon, captainhowdie lover anon, 🛸 anon, 🌸 anon, �� anon, ☆ anon, ☁️ anon, 💌 anon, 🩹 anon, bald luther anon, 💿 anon, 🪩 anon, 🫀 anon, 🍧 anon, 🍎 anon, 🥥 anon, freak angel anon, 🥩 anon, 🌊 anon, 🤯 anon, 🧫 anon, NvH anon, 🍀🍓 anon, 🌧️ anon, 🩰 anon. Keep in mind that if you choose a sign-off, it cannot be changed once you’ve chosen it.

*CURRENTLY ACTIVE MODS: mod 🥩, mod 🌹, mod 🔪

*If necessary, keep in mind that mods are alters.

----------------------------------------

RULES:

Just don't submit anything that isn't RanFren related.

Do not submit anything that is possibly harmful/offensive to other people, such as death threats for whatever reasons or transphobic/homophobic/ableist/racist takes, and overall harassment toward any specific person.

No confessions related to “Jezebel Randalynn” are allowed.

I will not be posting any confessions regarding OCs.

No confessions talking about Ranfren’s fandom and the people in it are allowed. Asks regarding CaptainHowdie are allowed so long as you stay respectful.

Any asks/submissions that violate those rules will be ignored and promptly deleted.

Filter the following tags if you are uncomfortable with their respective topics: tw sh, tw darkshipping, tw yandere, tw incest / tw fauxcest / tw selfcest, tw sui, tw drugs / tw drugging, tw animal abuse / tw animal cruelty, tw cp mention, tw loli mention, tw shotacon / tw lolicon, tw grooming, tw bestiality, tw overdose, tw unsanitary, food mention, tw food, tw cannibalism, tw suffocation, tw shooting, tw noncon / tw sa / tw rape, tw necrophilia, deadnaming, tw transphobia, tw transmisogyny, tw slurs, tw homophobia, tw misgendering, tw r slur, tw fatshaming, tw lobotomy, tw religion, ww2 / tw war, tw cwd / tw chronic wasting disease, vore, tw emetophobia, tw omegaverse, tw heat cycles, tw miscarriage, tw ivorycest, tw nyenseb, tw nyendal / tw nyenran, tw oviposition, oc hate, politics, tw kidnapping, tw drowning, tw electrocution, tw cult. Filter the tag ranfreaky to avoid NSFW/Suggestive content in general. Filter the tag shipping issue to avoid confessions relating ships/shipping in general, and filter the tag proship discourse if you want to avoid discourse regarding proship.

The mod will not be picky about which confessions will be posted so long as they don’t break any of the rules, so say whatever you wish to say, so long as it remains on topic and respectful.

Above everything, this is a judgement free zone. However, this does not mean that the Mod won't be silently (or vocally) judging you in the main blog if your “takes” are much too braindead for it to handle.

----------------------------------------

LINKS FOR MORE INFO → What is RANFREN? | Read "Randal's Friends" Here | Old Confession Blog Archive

Remember to keep it real. But most of all, have fun and stay truthful to yourself. If not that's ok too.

Last updated on 25/02/2025 (DD/MM/YYYY).

[xclowniex]

I don't see how people can still say that the "hostages were treated well" after the lastest video was released of 5 women hostages.

The video is so heart breaking and its been edited so the super bad stuff isn't in it. Which in a way makes the video worse, but still not as bad as if the stuff taken as was included.

I am going to discuss some things that were said in the video tw rape threats and related threats under cut

They are called beautiful by their captors and one states that they are the ones who can get pregnant because they are zionists, obviously heavily implying that they plan to rape them and get them pregnant

That is fucking terrible. Reports of rape has already been told about months ago and it was horrible then and horrible now.

But like, the idea that they are being raped with the intention of getting them pregnant and either have the baby or force a miscarriage???? ten fucking thousand times worse.

[m-o-l-d]

Werewolves Timber, a tired druid, and Eirwen, an energetic necromancer, embark on a journey to undo a magic bond accidentally set by an act of good will.

Together they will learn what life has to offer...

or

Together, they will die trying...

FULL STORY CHRONO First Part

CHAPTER 1--Ties That Bind || Chrono | First Part Ask Block #1 || Chrono | First Part CHAPTER 2--Blessed Snow || Chrono | First Part

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

WARNING

IN TIME, THIS BLOG WILL CONTAIN THE FOLLOWING THEMES, MENTIONS, AND IMAGERY:

DEATH INJURY/BLOOD VIOLENCE SUICIDAL IDEATION SEXUAL ASSAULT MISCARRIAGE SPIRITUAL/SOUL DISCUSSION. (Not really in a Christian sense, but I'll try to tag it as such if it gets too close.) CHILD ABUSE CHILD NEGLECT CHILD INJURY/ENDANGERMENT CHILD DEATH

I will do my absolute best to tag and warn appropriately for each part. If ever one is missing a tag/warning you think it needs, please kindly let me know in the comments or over on my main blog, @loupy-mongoose. I am human, relatively naive, and my mental filter doesn't always work the way I wish it would. ^^

To those ready to take those themes, welcome! I hope you enjoy the story to come! ^w^ And to those who choose to skip this blog altogether for ANY reason, I completely understand, and wish you a wonderful day! <3

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

EXTRA THINGS

-Tag for Lore related to this story HERE

-Extra character information can be found HERE

-Closer look at twins Timber and Brook here, in case you have trouble telling them apart.

-AU exploration HERE

-Extra art related to MOLD HERE

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

List of tags relevant to the above topics if you wish to block: (putting it under a bar for space saving reasons--I will add to it if needed)

#TW: Death -- #TW: Injury -- #TW: implied injury -- #TW: Blood -- #TW: Violence -- #TW: Suicide -- #TW: Suicidal Ideation -- #TW: Suicide Mention -- #TW: Sexual Assault -- #TW: SA -- #TW: SA Mention -- #TW: Miscarriage (I haven't seen that one mentioned as a trigger, but just in case.) -- #TW: Christianity (If it comes up, but I don't expect it to.) -- #TW: Child Abuse -- #TW: Child Neglect -- #TW: Child injury -- #TW: Child Endangerment -- #TW: Child Death

[atinyniki]

take your time.

group: ateez !

pairing: idol!song mingi x f!reader

genre: angst with a fluffy ending

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, pregnancy, lots of blood, childbirth, arguments, hyunwoo (xikers) is y/ns little brother, mentions of a miscarriage, jiyoo is the daughter of mingi and y/n, guilt, kissing, reader almost miscarries, cpr on a newborn, mentions of divorce, mingi almost gets into a car accident, tad bit suggestive at the end, fainting.

authors note: holy fuck this is actually so sad... at least its a happy ending tho <3 i really hope you guys like this ! please dont read if youre not comfortable with themes relating to birth and miscarriage </3 this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 3107

HUGE TW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION: reader almost has a miscarriage, pregnancy, blood, and the pain that goes along with it.

“don’t fucking touch me.”

he instantly backs away, hands clasped in front of him. “we’re leaving.”

he looks back up at you, a crestfallen look on his face. “what…?”

“it’s not fair, mingi. you can’t just jump back into our lives like this.”

“i’m not jumping back, ive been here!”

“jiyoo doesn’t think you love her anymore.”

“what?!”

you huff in frustration, he’s clearly not getting the message. “don’t you get it? it’s because you’re never there, mingi. you might be in the house, but you’re still always working. you don’t have time for us, not at all, and come to think of it, you don’t deserve our love. so we’re leaving, i’ll come back once i’m ready.”

he lets the words sink in, still sat in shock. his daughter doesn’t even know if he loves him. he’s failed her, and he’s failed you. he’s even failed his son, before he was even born.

“i know you said not to touch… but can i do something?”

“a hug isn’t going to fix anything, mingi”

“i know, but can i still do something?”

“make it quick.”

he walks over to you, tears slipping from his eyes even though he tries to suppress them. he kneels down in front of you, lifting up your shirt to kiss your baby bump.

it’s the same thing he’s been doing every night, yet you’re never up to see him do it, and the sight alone causes tears to spring to your eyes. “i’ll see you soon buddy, i love you.”

he stands back up, mustering the best smile he possibly can with all the pain in his heart. “can i see jiyoo?”

you nod, and he instantly sprints to her room. “jiyoo? can i come in?”

she opens the door immediately, squealing in delight and throwing herself into her dads arms. “i missed you!”

“i know princess… i know.”

she instantly picks up on the tone in his voice, a little confused. “what’s wrong abba?”

“nothing! don’t worry baby… are you excited?”

her face instantly lights up at the mention of her little vacation. “yeah! im so excited to see uncle hyunwoo again, i missed him.”

he giggles along with her, pinching her cheek softly, “yeah, i bet you did munchkin.”

“i just wish you could be there with us…”

“it’ll be fun! tell me how your birthday went, yeah?”

she nods, hugging him tighter. “i will…”

a moment of silence passes, and she stays sat on his lap, hugging him and relaxing in his arms. mingi relishes in the moment, afraid that this might not happen again for a while.

“sugar?”

“mmm”, she replies sleepily.

“i love you…”

she turns back up to look at him, “i know abba.”

he shakes his head, guiding her face to look up at him with his two large hands. “no baby… i love you.”

“what’s going on?”

“please d-don’t forget it… i love you to the ends of the universe”

“i love you too, abba”

his façade is cracking, he can feel it. a singular tear slides down his face after he kisses her cheek, and he quickly wipes it away. this is for the best, and he knows that it’s what you both need right now. 

“alright, i’ll call amma and she can help you pack, okay?”

“we already packed though?”

“oh… yeah i’ll just- i’ll go get her.”

you see him enter the living room again, “you two have fun yeah? call me if you need me.”

you can only nod, grabbing the bags and placing them in the trunk. you finally come back inside, ushering jiyoo out of her room and bringing her over to the car.

but before you get in, he stops you. “y/n.”

“hm?”

“i love you.”

you stop in your tracks, unable to say anything back. normally you’d reply with the same three words in a heartbeat, but it didn’t slip off the tongue naturally anymore. 

it makes sense, considering how long it’s been since you’ve said it to him. “i know, mingi. take care.”

you get into your car, unable to bear the sight of him anymore, and you make your way out of the driveway. “amma, why is abba crying?”

“he’s not crying, baby.”

you turn your head to look at him, he’s sat on the porch, hands clasped over his mouth. he waves one final time, his face contorting into a painful expression.

and now you’re certain. 

he’s crying.

“whatever you decide, we’ll be right here. we’re always here for you, you know that right?”

he nods, tears leaving his eyes. he normally stays strong, only letting the tears out around you. you’re his safe haven, and yet the tears seem unstoppable now.

they pour down relentlessly, unable to keep themselves in for mingis sake. san pours him a glass of water, sitting down next to hongjoong. 

“i don’t think i can do this right now…”

“that’s okay mingi… you can go on hiatus. you need a break.”, hongjoong suggests.

“i don’t wanna let you guys down.”

“we don’t have much to do the next couple months, you know. we’ve recorded everything for the comeback anyways. please?”

he knows they’re only looking out for him. “okay… fine. i’ll finalize everything soon.”

the boys all comfort him through it. none of them have gone through this type of pain, but it seemed that they all knew how to comfort him. 

he’s grateful, but he doesn’t feel fulfilled. he’s not happy. he’s not happy, because they’re not you.

he walks home that night, scared to drive in the state he’s in. his eyes are blurry, he can hardly see, but he tries his best to find his way back properly.

that is, until he crosses the road next to the dorms. he could’ve sworn the light wasn’t there. all he could process was a flash of white, and he braces himself for the impact.

the next thing he hears is a loud screech of the tires, and the driver instantly gets out to check on him. “mingi are you okay?”

he looks up at him, its hyunwoo, he realizes. “y-yeah im okay…”

he tries to walk back down the crosswalk, but hyunwoo stops him. “mingi…”

“i’m fine.”

more tears leave his eyes, and hyunwoo instantly goes to hug him. “you’ll be okay, i know it. just give her some time.”

mingi hugs him back even tighter, completely unaware that you’re watching from the backseat with jiyoo. “thank you.”

“i’m always here.”

that’s what everyone says. everyone is always there for him. you were always there for him.

but now you’re not. now you’re gone, because of him, and he has to deal with the consequences.

“h-have a good night hyunwoo.”

before he can answer, mingi sprints away, too scared to see him. his eyes are the same as yours, and he can’t bear to stare into them anymore.

he wants it all to end.

he scrolls through his twitter feed again, making sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. no, they aren’t.

there’s an article about his rumored divorce, all he can do is hope you haven’t seen them yet. before he knows it, it hits twelve. he grabs his phone from the dresser, dialing your number.

no answer.

he tries again.

no answer.

he tries calling hyunwoo, and he finally picks up. “hello?”

“hey woo…”

“mingi?”

“sorry to bother, i was just wondering if jiyoo is still awake? i wanted to wish her a happy birthday.”

he chuckles awkwardly, “she’s awake… but i don’t think- um…”

“oh, yeah… that’s okay. can you just tell her i have a gift waiting for her at home? thanks…”

“yeah, i’ll tell her. how are you doing? i saw the articles.”

“i don’t know.”

“what do you mean?”

“i don’t know how im doing, not right now. goodnight hyunwoo”

“oh- i- goodnight?”

he quickly hangs up the phone, unable to say anymore. he’s scared for his life. is jiyoo having fun? are you doing okay with your pregnancy? are you still upset?

he hopes you’re feeling better, he truly doesn’t want you to waste your tears on him. 

it’s been two months since you’ve last seen him, and you think you’re doing a lot better. you know you miss him, and you know you will return, but you don’t know if you’re ready yet.

you know it’s very unfair to him, not being able to see jiyoo, but there’s a lot going on in your life right now. you don’t think you’re ready to face him, even though you truly do miss him.

“amma?”

“yes baby?”

“this vacation is getting boring…”

you give her a soft smile, picking her up and placing her on your lap. “i know baby, we’ll go home soon.”

you play a little more with jiyoo, until you see her start to cry. it breaks your heart even more. you have to talk to him.

and so you do. you grab a couple things, bringing jiyoo in the car with you. you both arrive at your home not too long after, it’s been too long since you’ve even seen the place.

you knock on the door, and you hear shuffling from the end. your heart rate quickens, still scared of what’s to come, but you’ve come too far to let it go now.

he opens the door, a look of surprise on his face. and then his eyes meet yours. it’s almost as if it’s been flipped. last he saw you, your eyes were red, and his were happy, bright. and now his are red, and you look much better than you did before.

his eyes then fly to the little girl next to you, running over to give him a hug. he falls to his knees before he can even think, sobs racking his body once again. “abba! i missed you.”

his body shakes with his cries, smoothing down her hair and kissing her cheeks. “i missed you more, my princess…”

you enter the house, closing and locking the door behind you. you set your things down by the door, and you just sit there and watch. your heart melts at the sight.

you feel guilty for keeping them apart so long, but you needed time. maybe you still do, but there’s nothing you can do now.

he stands back up, bringing jiyoo to her room to get her into bed. “i don’t wanna sleep yet…”

“i know sweet girl… i’ll tell you what, if you sleep now, i’ll show you your dollhouse first thing tomorrow.”

“okay! goodnight abba!”

“i love you pumpkin.”

he leaves the room not too long after, watching you pace the room. you’re crying, he can see the streaks over your face. he slowly walks over you, careful not to startle you.

“are you not ready…?”

“i don’t know…”

“we don’t have to talk right now… but i’m here for you.”

you turn your head towards him, utterly touched by his words. you would have never guessed that he’d be so patient with you, and it finally slips naturally.

“i love you, mingi.”

“i love you too.”, he replies without missing a beat.

“i’m sorry i didn’t tell you when we left. it’s been eating me alive.”

“that’s okay, i put you in a lot of pain. i understand, i promise.”

a moment of silence passes between the two of you, only your shared sniffles heard from time to time.

“im sorry i came here unannounced. jiyoo just missed you a lot…”

silence.

“i missed you”

he looks back up at you, almost sobbing now. he tries to wipe his tears away, but they just keep coming back.

that’s how it is with mingi. you’re his safe place, and he will let every emotion out with you. 

“i missed you so much more… you’d truly never believe it”, he whispers.

you give him a soft smile, opening your arms to him. “c’mere”

“what? really?”

“yes! come here, i missed you.”

he’s hesitant at first, but the second he feels you around him again, he melts. his heart feels too much at once, and he starts crying again. no. wailing.

he gasps for air again, rather harshly, and tangles his hands in your hair. he inhales again, all of his senses completely overridden. by you.

“oh baby…”

he hugs you tighter once he hears the pet name, and you smooth down his hair with your hand. “i promise i’ll be b-better… i know i’ve been terrible to you, but ill try my best. i’ll take breaks, ill spend time with you, and ill take care of myself too… just don’t go.”

“i’m not leaving you, sweetpea… im here. calm down.”

he looks up at you, stars in his eyes, “can i… kiss you?”

normally he’d never ask for permission, but you remember what you said during your argument. it breaks your heart thinking about how much that must have affected him.

you lean down, meeting his lips in a soft kiss. he cradles your head in his hands, his touches feather-soft. you finally pull away, just to stare at him. 

“you’re so beautiful…”

“hm?”

he giggles, “you’re just beautiful. i don’t think i tell you that enough.”

you hug him tight once more, missing his touch. he gets up not too long after, helping you up too and pushing your hair out of your face lovingly. 

“mingi…”

“hm?”

“how are you?”

“oh… i don’t know yet…”

suddenly, there’s a sharp pain in your abdomen. you look down, but there’s nothing there. “baby? what’s wrong?”

you can’t get any words out, scared for your life. you feel something trickling down your leg, so you look. the blood drips onto the floor, the pain becoming unbearable.

“mingi…”

mingi doesn’t say anything, quickly grabbing his phone from his pocket to call an ambulance. “stay with me baby, come on…”

you can’t do it, it hurts too much. you sink down to the floor, trying your best to stay awake, but it’s so hard. you want to scream, but you can’t, not with jiyoo here…

you push and push, but your body finally gives out, losing so much blood that you fall unconscious in the puddle. 

“yes- yes i’m here…”

“are they crying?”

“n-no, he’s not breathing.”

“alright, stay calm, the ambulances are on the way. i want you to perform cpr on him, make sure you press only about an inch deep.”

he’s done this before, he knows how, but his hands are shaking so much and he’s just so scared. he finishes the compressions, giving him two breaths and returning back to pressing down on his chest.

“nothing… nothings happening…”

he continues pressing, tears streaming down his face. he’s blocked out every other voice, only thinking about you and his baby. 

and then he hears it. a shrill cry rings out through the room, and his eyes widen. he picks him up, carefully cradling him. he’s obviously premature, and mingi is deathly scared of what’s to come. 

just then, the ambulances arrive. mingi quickly informs the dispatcher and hangs up. he watches as they take you and the baby away to the ambulances and he rushes to jiyoos room.

“baby. you need to wake up.”

“mmm?”

he picks her up before she can question, “close your eyes. please.”

she complies, almost falling back asleep amidst all the chaos. he runs out the house, hopping in the passenger seat while they operate in the back.

his heart is beating a thousand times a second, tears streaming down his face. “abba…? why is there blood on you…?”

“just close your eyes princess…”

his hands are smeared with blood. his clothes, along with jiyoos, are ruined. his mind will never be the same after going through such a thing.

but all he can do is cry.

you’re finally all together, all four of you, yet it’s been almost four weeks since the birth. jihoon has spent a lot of time in the NICU, but he’s finally getting to see his new home for the first time.

mingi unlocks the door, opening it for you as you make your way in with jihoon. jiyoo has been giving him her love in every single way possible.

small hugs, sweet kisses, and cute little smiles whenever he blubbers in her direction. your heart swells at the sight. you don’t know how to explain it, but it just feels… right.

you set jihoon down in the crib, allowing him to get some rest. you decide to lay down too, calling it an early night. you’re still recovering, and it’s been hell so far, but mingi has been with you every step of the way this time.

the two of you lay together in bed in peace after so long, smiling and just simply staring at eachother. he grabs your hand, holding it up to his chest. “i’m proud of you, you know. you’re so strong…”

“mingi, you’ve said this like… nine times.”

“the amount of times i’ve said it doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. you are so incredibly amazing and just… the perfect mother. a fucking superhero, if you will.”

you giggle, “okay now you’re just overreacting.”

he pulls you closer towards him, kissing over the palm of your hand and gently closing his hands around it. “i’m so glad you both are okay…”

“mingi…”

“im sorry i keep bringing it up… it’s just- i could have lost you both.”

“you’re okay baby… im here.”

he scoots closer to you so that you’re chest to chest, nuzzling his face into your neck. he plants soft kisses onto your jawline, the sweet gesture just seeming so much like him.

“i love you… thank you for coming back to me.”

you kiss his forehead once, then twice, “i could never be away from you forever, you know.”

he smiles, kissing over your neck again. his kisses start to trail down lower and lower, suddenly stopping at your chest. “agh! mingi, not now!”

“not doing anything… just kissing.”

he places wet kisses all over your chest and collarbone, smiling when the marks change tint. “missed you, y/n…”

you grab onto his hair for some control, squirming underneath him. that is, until you hear a loud cry from the baby monitor. the two of you giggle again, this was going to be a lot of work.

he pulls away from you, quickly getting out of bed. “i’ll put him back to sleep, don’t worry.”

he walks over to you, leaning closer to whisper into your ear. 

“i’ll be back soon baby, just sit here and look pretty for me…”

<3

[littledamadelfuego]

Fertility In Astrology: Observations & Notes 1

TW// Miscarriages, Infertility, Conception

Disclaimer: This is a general post and not all information will be applicable, if you have any of these placements it does not automatically doom you. I am currently going through my Saturn return and these are observations I have made while knowing multiple friends who struggle with their fertility. This is simply my interpretation of their placements, and patterns that I've noticed.

Sun Sign Synastry matters, and not in the way you may think. Partners who share a sun sign modality (Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable) tend to have the easiest time conceiving. Why is this? Our sun sign modality relates to the time of season that we were born, and those who we share a sun sign modality with will typically have the most compatible biorhythms with us, which makes for an easier conception. Note that, these may not always be the most compatible relationships though.

On the other hand inconjunct sun signs have the most difficulty with conception. The couple I know who have had the most trouble with conception are a Gemini and Scorpio sun, the inconjunct can signify being the most out of sync when it comes to biorhythms-- and again, if you and your partner have inconjunct suns it does not mean that you cannot conceive, but you may have a harder time doing so, or it can be a longer journey to having a child-- but it is not impossible

Sun signs that are Trine or Sextile can go either way, but it isn't typically as influential as the other connections

Moon-Mars synastry lives up to its reputation, it is the baby-maker aspect. However, I have noticed that most only focus on the conjunction, but it is equally as potent as the opposition or square, It is the most effective when the woman is the moon and the man is the mars. I have familial generations going back with the Moon opposite Mars synastry that have all resulted in a quick birth of a child.

Saturn in the 5H, so this is the traditional placement of fertility troubles-- and yes, I have known those with this placement to have a miscarriage. However, this placement does not mean that you CANNOT have children, it often more so indicates having difficulties when trying to have a child, and if you have this placement it is better to wait until your Saturn return to have children.

Additionally, a reason I advise those with Saturn in the 5H to wait until their Saturn return to have children is that I have seen many with this placement want children so bad that they go out of their way to do so, all to realize that they do not actually like being a parent. Waiting until after you Saturn return will allow Saturn to show you whether or not you truly even want to be a parent.

Mars in Cancer can signify fertility issues or painful periods in women, I know many women with this placement who have either PCOS or endometriosis.

[spoonsilverwire]

Little ol' me has come to ask for any and all information about the wonderful dunette

👉👈

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE MY DEAR FRIEND!!!!!

I guess I should update that relationship chart……

I’ll just rewrite it here!

Fun fact - Dunette is pretty easy to get along with once you get to know her a lil more.

Dice - Dunette

Dunette’s pretty cool with Dice. Sometimes she thinks he goes a little overboard with being rude to others (look who’s talking.) Dice is okay with Dunette, he wasn’t…expecting to meet somebody taller than him besides Ethan (boy from the rival biker boys gang who’s 7’1). Other than that they don’t talk very much unless Dice wants her to do something.

Jeff - Dunette

They get along! They’re not close but they do like each other’s company. Dunette’s pretty happy that Jeff is so caring towards the one he loves. Vice versa with Jeff ;D.

Varai - Dunette

Dunette loves varai (much to Jatay’s dismay), but it’s nothing romantic. It’s purely plantonic on Dunette’s side. She likes to offer help out Jeff whenever Varai regresses. Varai was very intimidated by Dunette when she first showed up into the gang, very scary lady. But she’s a softie.

Jatay - Dunette

Oh boy. When they first met, they were very uh. Violent towards each other. Got into a lot of fights. (But uh….Jatay likes getting beat up, and Dunette likes making people angry) so, I guess…..it just became their thing?? They’re still very violent towards one another, but I guess they can stand each other??? It’s a love hate relationship thing, but they still love each other (I guess. JATAY WHY ARE YOU SO CONFUSING)

More facts because I looooove her to deathhhh

As you can probably guess, very strong! She can pick up everyone in the gang if she wanted to! (Dice would kill her if she tried)

When she picked up Jatay one time, (sentenced him to air jail) he wouldn’t stop yelling and wiggling to get out of her grasp. She just held him until he calmed down. (An hour record time)

Her name isn’t Dunette Hardwire, she had it changed with what money she had before going homeless for a couple of years.

She’s Mexican and Italian, (dad was Mexican, mom was Italian) but she’s got a THICC country accent. She’s pretty fluent in Italian though thanks to her mom teaching her. She wasn’t close to her dad, she knows some Spanish, not much.

She likes anything pasta related(especially pesto pasta!) she just enjoys food in general. She’s not very picky at all. The only sighing she hates is olives. Not much of a fan on her boyfriend’s minced meat either. But she’ll eat it occasionally if she knows what animal they’re eating. Other wise she’ll downright refuse.

She has attempted to get Jatay to eat something other than just minced meat, to help him at least get SOME muscle on him. It didn’t work so she just gave up.

———

TW for child abuse, religious themes, toxic relationships and miscarriages. Under the cut.

Her parents were uh, not very good ppl. They were heavily religious and didn’t like how rebellious their daughter was. Lots of physical and emotional abuse. Her mom was more physically and emotionally abusive. Her dad was more neglectful, and occasionally jumped the “let’s yell at Dunette!!!!!!” Wagon. It was every other day they got into fights about something.

Her mother forced her to shave her face whenever her facial hair became prominent. Dunette never shaves now, just trimming it.

Speaking of which, she does have some religious trauma.

After a year of being on the street and living in an abandoned apartment. She met someone named Judo, they were also homeless for much different reasons.

Judo was a drug addict, but always promised Dunette they would get better. Eventually Dunette was just dumb enough to believe them and one thing led to another and Dunette had gotten pregnant. Judo was pretty abusive themself.

Judo disappeared after that, and Dunette was by herself again. But, after being in a homeless shelter, Dunette had an unfortunate thing happen to her. She had a miscarriage was showering one day, worst part is, she didn’t even know she was pregnant.

Ever since then, she always did want a kid but was really scared to try again in case the same happened again. So she’s just sticking to babying Itzy (and some occasion Varai.)