#tw infertility related

[curiousorigins]

Yeah, I had this whole period of a few years where I was working a near full time retail job, going to college (over full time via credit hours) and commuting around an hour-2 hours each way depending on when in that period and if I happened to get my favorite bus driver. (he shaved a full 20-40 minutes off of my 2 transfers commute.) Pretty much I had time for nothing especially when you factored in that I get motion sick, so I couldn't manage to do homework on the bus (I could at best manage audio language tapes... as that talk to text stuff was bad then and I have audio processing issues) and I wasn't sleeping well. (I've fallen asleep in a moving vehicle twice in my life for longer than 2 minutes. Once after a full 2 weeks of not sleeping for about 5 minutes (according to friend who was driving) and another on the bus during this period. And yes I was awoken because the bus returned to the bus service garage.) and had to actively play rock music (complete with an audio effects CD on shuffle which was the surprising boon to my playlists. I will never create a Mix CD/Playlist without random animal noises and sirens again.) in order to prevent myself from falling asleep in public and leaving my body to the whims of strangers around me.

So funny thing about this period of my life... whether due to the lack of calories. (no required meal plan as part of tuition as I was commuting to school and thus college not obligated to prevent student starvation. However it was a community college and thus real awesome at providing free food opportunities to those willing to follow their nose/rumors of free food with enough free time between classes to indulge.) lack of sleep, financial stress (I mostly save a few minor grants self-funded my schooling... ending with less than $1,500 debt my final semester despite going to college in the U.S. [highly recommend community colleges. However don't do this. I almost died so many times. I got an ulcer that led to 2 weeks of internal bleeding and missed 2 weeks of work and like 10 years+ fearing many foods. Getting a loan in this case would have been smarter. Yes even with how student loans are.] my grades also couldn't keep up and I lost any academic related funding as well. Including eventually the student loans. I pretty much had a major mental health crisis on top of very horrible health crisises... that for a period at up approximately 6 hours of my none-free-time but actual doing homework/studying/relaxing [If I ever had a chance] time. Don't do it.

Anyways I learned to eat one handed. We were raised in a set the table and use utensils with the proper hand etc household... so yeah for me this was a college-age learned skill. I learned to scarf down (already had to a degree. God bless ovrcrowded public schools where) ANYTHING in less than 10 minutes provided I was hungry enough. To eat (sort of neatly) when walking. To chug 44oz of water etc in about 5 minutes. (My job consisted of unloading trucks in lack of climate control in near one of the hottest places on earth for 3 months of the year. Funny thing, also near the coldest for near the same period of time annually. And I was always at risk of passing out from dehydration. I literally hardly peed during this period because I was sweating enough to keep up with the minimal gallon of water/sport's drink etc I was drinking per day.)

I also had started getting into art and social media. (I actually briefly was making minor waves.) and the only time I had to draw consisted of my breaks and meal breaks at work (because again I got motion sick in moving vehicles). I was drawing, inking, and painting in watercolor 25 days a month, completing an average of 25-40 paintings during that month. Work was the main area where I had wiggle room to socialize, so I was often, drawing/painting in the breakroom while stuffing my face with as many calories as possible (I was unloading trucks and at the height of my families' weirdly high metabolism) while talking. So I was penciling/drawing/finalizing an average of 10-15 minutes (while eating), inking in 5-10 minutes and painting in 15-25 minutes/day. (While eating). Oh and because there literally wasn't a schedule where I could possibly eat a meal at home 5-6 days/week; I also developed absolute zero shame to munching whereever I was, no matter what was going on (though little kid me was ahead of the curve because PBS used to broadcast surgeries on Sundays and I was fascinated. And would have my lunch/dinner watching them and only once they were wiggling around intestines while I was eating spaghetti and had a bad brain sensory visual textural experience. Otherwise I was good to go.) [as an aside, this includes that poor person who was 'pregnant' for a few decades, via the rare ectopic pregnancy that doesn't cause a patient to go septic, who's surgery ended up being broadcast on PBS for some reason... I would assume exploitation to pay for the surgery itself. That's called

(Trigger warning for link above: Many examples of very late term incomplete pregnancies that are identifiably human fetuses that are not compatible with life. Stopped living often decades before they might have been born had the embroyos implanted elsewhere. Frozen in gestation. Images within that could be disturbing to those mourning a miscarriage, actively pregnant, suffering infertility issues etc. Please do use your best judgement and do not click the link above if you're not in a place where one could take their time, energy etc to emotionally deal with such a disturbance.)

But yeah I can eat in pretty any condition. Not super cleanly... mostly because I don't care. My Dad hates going out to eat with me and has to remind me that I won't have successful dates (while I'm not interested in dating anyone) because of how I eat. While I say, "Might as well eat like a pig on the first date, not that there will be dates. Because this how I eat. If they can't stomach it. Then I'm saving us both some hassle." And quickly too. I can't manage to hold my breath while swimming/diving or do that weird pushing breath out to prevent water in your nose thing. But I can breath while I'm actively drinking and eating. I can also eat while talking while not telegraphing that I have food in my mouth via sound or sight.

Those are just some of the few unintended skills I ended up developing, perfecting out of genuine necessity and survival. And no, I don't ever want to live like that again. I respect myself too much to out myself through it. Of course when I decided I'd take commissions at conventions while selling my art, these are skills that I started to purposefully develop.

Jobs don’t always limit the skills you learn to the job itself. For instance, when I worked at Red Robin, they’d offer 30 minutes for an unpaid lunch, or 15 if you wanted to get paid the whole time. If you think that’s extremely shitty join the club.

As a result of wanting money I got really good at eating quickly so I could use my break to read or relax. I’ve always been a fast eater but when I worked there I learned how to eat an entire burger and fries in under five minute while keeping up a conversation. This is not advisable for good digestion, eat slow and chew your food.

There’s a balance to not talking with your mouth full and eating extremely quickly and it was a regularly used skill for years. When I worked at a sex shop I bragged about it once to a coworker.

She watched me with a timer going after I told her about it and we got burgers. I chatted with her the whole time. I was done in four minutes forty seconds.

Afterward she looked haunted and commented, “It was like watching a snake unhinge it’s jaw but you never talked with food in your mouth!”

More recently my beloved and I were catching up with a friend over lunch. I had a sandwich while they’d gotten falafel plates. We were having a lovely chat but after I finished a story our friend said, “I don’t want your food to go cold while you talk!”

I was surprised. I’d been deliberately talking more so she could eat. I turned to show her my empty sandwich box. Both she and my beloved were stunned. It was like I’d performed a magic trick and made my sandwich disappear because neither had even noticed me demolishing it like a snake unhinging it’s jaw.

[bookwyrminspiration]

does it count as critical literary analysis if I say that Shannon Messenger herself has struggled with infertility for several years and also that there is noticeable consistent mentioning of pregnancy and birth (depictions, explanations, inclusions in world building where it would commonly be overlooked for in this age range) as part of the story she’s written. and that those are likely related

[offtorivendell]

What you all seem to be missing is that this isn't even a topic of infertility, it's of delivery. The discussion is NEVER "can Elain get pregnant" because the problem was not "could Feyre get pregnant." The plot introduced into the series was what happens after she became pregnant and carried the baby to term, could a non Illyrian safely deliver a baby with wings which has now carried over into the discussion of Elain since it's canon that Feyre and Nesta were changed while we were not told the same of Elain. It's not a reason Elain can't be with Az but it is a valid topic of discussion within this series since the author posed it as a plotline. In the real world, most women safely choose a Caesarean section if they're dealing with delivery issues in their pregnancy so acting like delivering a winged baby has real world implications is simply you jumping on a pedestal for something to yell about. That's not to say there aren't delivery issues in the real world but this scenario is not one of them.

TW: death, infertility, pregnancy and childbirth related trauma. Also a brief mention of sexual assault.

Hi anon,

Respectfully, please stop being deliberately obtuse. Let's break this down, line by line.

What you all seem to be missing is that this isn't even a topic of infertility, it's of delivery. The discussion is NEVER "can Elain get pregnant" because the problem was not "could Feyre get pregnant."

I'm aware! I assume that you sent me this ask because I reblogged an old post of mine yesterday, so what you seem to be missing is that I've already discussed this.

Here, where I implicitly acknowledged both infertility and trauma related to pregnancy and childbirth as potential triggers in the post:

And here, where I explicitly stated that we know you guys don't mean that Elain is unable to conceive at all - which is impossible to know, as per the text she hasn't tried. If you read what I wrote, you'd see I said that - assuming Nesta had not changed her anatomy and would not be able to in the future, or that Elriel would even conceive winged children if they wanted kids at all - Elain and Azriel together would be functionally infertile*, as any child with wings (which is not a guarantee, by the way, though as you guys treat it as a foregone conclusion I worked off that premise) would die before or during birth, killing Elain at the same time.

* Is it more correct to say they'd suffer from "impaired fecundity"? Yes! But please read a little further.

The plot introduced into the series was what happens after she became pregnant and carried the baby to term, could a non Illyrian safely deliver a baby with wings which has now carried over into the discussion of Elain since it's canon that Feyre and Nesta were changed while we were not told the same of Elain.

It's really not hard to understand that we are discussing a fictional woman's ability to successfully have a specific man's children, and that their impaired fecundity does not (or should not) impact her worthiness to be loved by that man; that it has been equated to the struggles that many real, living people have experienced with regards to conceiving, carrying their babies to term and giving birth; and that - while an oversimplification - all these issues are being lumped under the umbrella of "infertility struggles" to be concise and accessible.

That being said, let me correct you quickly. While you very carefully said that we were "not told the same of Elain," with regards to Nesta changing her anatomy, you neglected to mention that SJM actually had her choose wording that didn't explicitly exclude Elain from the change, either.

The brisk spring wind whipped her golden-brown hair across her face. “I gave it back to the Cauldron in exchange for the knowledge of how to save them.” She swallowed. “But a little remains. I think something else—someone else—stopped the Cauldron from taking all of it. And I made some changes of my own.” The Mother. The only being who would see the sacrifice Nesta had made and give a little back. Perhaps it was she who had peered out at them through the Mask. “What did you change?” Nesta rested a hand on her abdomen. “I changed myself a little, too. So none of us will have to go through this again.” - ACOSF, chapter 78

Also of note, Nesta specified she had the "knowledge" to perform the change, which suggests that even if Elain wasn't changed then, it could be done in the future.

It's not a reason Elain can't be with Az...

Literally all that ever needs to be said on the topic.

... but it is a valid topic of discussion within this series since the author posed it as a plotline.

You should have stopped after the first half of the sentence. Elain's lack of pliable bones - ie. the second half of the "Illyrian womb" discussion that posits Gwyn as the only logical love interest - is not even a medically accurate theory, so it shouldn't be entertained full stop. While SJM may have posed Illyrian womb/wing issues as an issue for Feyre and Rhys, she never suggested it would impact any couple's decision to get or stay together. In fact, Nesta and Cassian were mates while Nesta was still unable to birth winged babies, too.

In the real world, most women safely choose a Caesarean section if they're dealing with delivery issues in their pregnancy so acting like delivering a winged baby has real world implications is simply you jumping on a pedestal for something to yell about. That's not to say there aren't delivery issues in the real world but this scenario is not one of them.

Once again I'm asking you to put your thinking cap on.

Obviously we do not have to consider the delivery of winged babies in the real world, but if you cannot see how the frequent suggestion (that Elain's hypothetical inability to successfully have Azriel's children is a valid reason as to why an author would separate, or even hint at separating, a potential couple) could be hurtful and upsetting to the many people who have/are currently struggling with infertility - or who have lost their much wanted and loved babies during the course of pregnancy or childbirth - then I have to assume that you're either suffering from a catastrophic lack of empathy or, respectfully, you have a sheep or two loose in the top paddock.

As I mentioned in the post I linked above, if the fandom is (rightfully!) expected to handle the topic of Gwyn finding love after experiencing SA with grace - out of respect for real life assault survivors - then it is not wrong to expect the same degree of care in return when discussing the anatomy change in ACOSF, out of respect for those who have trauma associated with infertility, pregnancy and childbirth in real life. It's an incredibly simple act to listen in good faith, rather than jumping straight to accusing us of wanting to "yell about" something just because you are prioritising shipping discourse over being kind.

It's 2025, the "Elain doesn't have an Illyrian womb or pliable bones" theory is both medically inaccurate and hurtful, and it really needs to end here.

Please.

[delulustateofmind]

hello, I'm currently going insane over the last part of "can my friend join". And i read your replies to asks related to that. And I'm going to ask something so crazy but I think it'd be soooo interesting, and something to ponder abt (for me at least)

Tw. Narcotics?

Say the reader gets their hands on edibles or something. Maybe weed to smoke or as brownies (because we know Suguru smokes/at least carries lighters. Maybe for this hypothetical scenario, let's assume he has it and that's how she got it). One of the effects can be that it makes you laugh uncontrollably about things that aren't THAT funny. And in general puts one in better mood.

Let's say satosugu see reader laughing her heart out at something random n silly and find out it's because she accidentally somehow consumed an edible.

(For the sake of this scenario, again, let's assume that the depression meds or some medical complications after so many pregnancies lead to reader being rendered infertile. So no question about any baby being harmed. )

In that case... how do they feel? Do they want her bubbly-ness back? Or are they now indifferent? Or do they hate her smiles and the sound of her laughter?

Will Suguru try to forcefully take away the edibles, (after a few times) if satoru is against the idea, coz satoru likes how you seem to have a bit of personality outside of being a cardboard cutout of the person you used to be? Will SATORU too put his foot down on letting you choose if or not you want to have access to these?

I am sorry in case i inadvertently offended you with this ask. I genuinely found it hilarious, imagining their confusion at first. It would be interesting to read about a scene where satoru and Suguru maybe cannot come to an agreement about a situation. And both are stubborn/ want control.

I understand if you won't want to answer this one, and i apologise in case you don't like stuff like this. I genuinely do not mean to make you uncomfortable.

Thank you for reading!

Anon, baby, it takes a whole lot to offend me. You're so freaking sweet, mwah.

TW: Narcotics, unedited, implied dubcon/noncon

I think I hinted at this in one of the previous asks, but yes, they definitely use narcotics. It’s kind of like a date night situation, because normally, you’re so numb. But when you’re high on that sweet little pill they give you? Oh my, you’re back to being the sweetest little thing.

Sure, you might be a little spaced out, and sure, you might not fully understand what’s going on. But Satoru loves the giggly mess you become. You let him hold you, nuzzle into you, and for once, you don’t resist. The sex is incredible for them because you actually seem like you’re enjoying it. You’re softer, more pliable, and sometimes, you even blurt out that you love them during it.

Those moments—hearing you say “I love you”—fuel both Satoru and Suguru’s belief that there’s still an ounce of the old you left inside. As much as they’d want to keep you drugged and loveable forever, Suguru worries about the long-term effects on your brain. So, he insists on keeping it as a weekly date night ritual.

On those nights, they send the kids out of the estate and have an absolute field day with you, indulging in every ounce of affection and compliance you offer under the influence of their little solution.

[namiusedbubble]

What they’re like as parents

TW: Everything related to pregnancy and parenthood. Reader can get pregnant but no pronouns used.

☠️  SEBASTIAN SALLOW:  ☠️

Sebastian disappears for days when you tell him you’re pregnant. He’s never thought about having children, never really thought anyone would want to have them with someone like him. He worries about being a bad father, that his impulsiveness and curiosity will get either you or his child hurt, and he can’t bare the thought of it. So he goes to the one person he knows will give it to him straight; Anne. 

You’ll find him sitting next to her grave, his eyes raw from lack of sleep. He doesn’t even notice you sit next to him until you lean your head against his shoulder, and it’s then that he breaks down. He confides all of his fears to you, and you do your best to reassure him that he will be a wonderful father and that Anne would have been over the moon for him. You two eventually return to your home hand-in-hand, Sebastian’s chest a little lighter and his heart full of tentative excitement. 

Sebastian is the stereotypical father. He’s the “fun” parent, the one who lets his child away with anything so long as he finds the humour in it, but he’s also extremely protective of both of you. He’ll do literally anything to keep you both safe and happy, and that can sometimes come off as controlling. Don’t worry, though, the minute you tell him off, he’ll take a step back and trust that you know what you’re doing. 

Before your child even starts Hogwarts, they will be well-versed in all manner of defensive spells. If you happen to have a girl, Sebastian will be a strong advocate in naming her after her beloved aunt.

🐍  OMINIS GAUNT:  🐍

Ominis is conflicted when you tell him the news. You hadn’t been trying, but it’s not like you weren’t, either. He’s happy because he loves you, he loves the life you two have created far away from the influence of his family, but he’s also scared. He’s sure his family will learn of the new baby Gaunt and come looking for him. He’s heard rumours of their desperation, years of inbreeding causing most of them to become infertile, and their fear of “polluting” their name with muggle blood meant that the Gaunt line was finally dying out. 

He approaches you one evening and declares that the child should have your surname. For that matter, he will also be taking yours, or you can both create an entirely new one and start your own little family without the shadow of cruelty and extremism hanging over your heads. He’ll tell his child about the Gaunts one day, but until then he wants nothing more than to protect them from an ideology that causes nothing but pain for everyone involved.

Ominis turns out to be the most doting father. He is so, so gentle with his child, but he’s not afraid to be stern with them when need be. He makes sure to instill acceptance into them from an early age, and you’ll find yourself close to tears when you find your child frequently standing up to bullies on behalf of others.

It feels like something shifts in Ominis after becoming a father. Suddenly, the empty crevice in his heart from everything he’s been through is full of joyous laughter and love. This is where he’s always meant to be, he thinks. With you and the family you have gifted to him.

🧪  GARRETH WEASLEY:  🧪

Garreth is over the moon, immediately rushing off to tell everyone and their dog in his excitement. You have to finally sit him down and tell him to stop sending owls when you receive a congratulations note from someone you’d only spoken to for five minutes outside the Three Broomsticks almost a decade ago.

You won’t need to lift a finger during your pregnancy, that’s for sure. Garreth will turn the world over if it means easing any of your discomfort, so prepare for breakfasts in bed, countless foot massages, and questionable potions (don’t worry, he tests them multiple times to make sure they won’t turn the baby into a dugbug). You start to feel guilty when every chore in the house is done before you even wake up, but he’ll insist that it’s the least he can do.

There is never a dull moment with Garreth and your child. Not only will you have dozens of little Weasley cousins flittering in and out of the house, but the two of them will team up to play innocent pranks on you all the time. Can’t find your broom? It’s been transfigured into a spoon and hidden amongst the cutlery, good luck! It’s not all fun and games, though. Garreth is a loving and doting father, and although you can sometimes feel like the “killjoy parent”, he’ll always have your back when it comes to parenting decisions and saying “no” to your child, even if it kills him to see their sad little expression. 

Garreth will be happy with as many children as you’re willing to give him, but he would prefer a large family. All of that chaos can seem a bit overwhelming at times, but the Weasleys are more than happy to look after your child/ren whenever you need a break or want to spend some alone time together. 

⭐  AMIT THAKKAR:  ⭐

He is thrilled at the news, but also full of anxiety. He feels a deep responsibility to provide for both of you and that overwhelms him quite a bit in the beginning, but he’ll settle down after a few reassuring discussions with you and multiple assessments of your budget. 

Amit will spend countless hours reading books on how to be a great father and how best to care for you during pregnancy. There isn’t a single book on the topic that he won’t read, and by the end of it, he considers himself a bit of an expert (”that’s all just theory, Amit!”). He is the type of person who will read to your stomach every night without fail. It could be the history of wizarding chess, or it could be The Tale of Beadle and the Bard, but these nightly stories quickly become the highlight of your evening as his soothing voice eases you into sleep. 

He is the most supportive father on the planet. Although he would love it if your child shared his passion for magical history and stargazing, Amit will immerse himself in whatever they choose to do. Quidditch? He’s the dad cheering from the back during a practice session. Music? Your house is now full of various instruments, both muggle and magical. He’s convinced that his child will be the best at whatever they set their mind to, and he encourages them to never doubt their own mind or abilities.

Amit dedicates every single one of his books to you and your child/ren, both because he loves you, and because you’ve given him the motivation to work even harder at what he does. He wants all of your names to live on forever, and so he’s determined to publish books that will be read by many for years to come. 

[littledamadelfuego]

Fertility In Astrology: Observations & Notes 1

TW// Miscarriages, Infertility, Conception

Disclaimer: This is a general post and not all information will be applicable, if you have any of these placements it does not automatically doom you. I am currently going through my Saturn return and these are observations I have made while knowing multiple friends who struggle with their fertility. This is simply my interpretation of their placements, and patterns that I've noticed.

Sun Sign Synastry matters, and not in the way you may think. Partners who share a sun sign modality (Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable) tend to have the easiest time conceiving. Why is this? Our sun sign modality relates to the time of season that we were born, and those who we share a sun sign modality with will typically have the most compatible biorhythms with us, which makes for an easier conception. Note that, these may not always be the most compatible relationships though.

On the other hand inconjunct sun signs have the most difficulty with conception. The couple I know who have had the most trouble with conception are a Gemini and Scorpio sun, the inconjunct can signify being the most out of sync when it comes to biorhythms-- and again, if you and your partner have inconjunct suns it does not mean that you cannot conceive, but you may have a harder time doing so, or it can be a longer journey to having a child-- but it is not impossible

Sun signs that are Trine or Sextile can go either way, but it isn't typically as influential as the other connections

Moon-Mars synastry lives up to its reputation, it is the baby-maker aspect. However, I have noticed that most only focus on the conjunction, but it is equally as potent as the opposition or square, It is the most effective when the woman is the moon and the man is the mars. I have familial generations going back with the Moon opposite Mars synastry that have all resulted in a quick birth of a child.

Saturn in the 5H, so this is the traditional placement of fertility troubles-- and yes, I have known those with this placement to have a miscarriage. However, this placement does not mean that you CANNOT have children, it often more so indicates having difficulties when trying to have a child, and if you have this placement it is better to wait until your Saturn return to have children.

Additionally, a reason I advise those with Saturn in the 5H to wait until their Saturn return to have children is that I have seen many with this placement want children so bad that they go out of their way to do so, all to realize that they do not actually like being a parent. Waiting until after you Saturn return will allow Saturn to show you whether or not you truly even want to be a parent.

Mars in Cancer can signify fertility issues or painful periods in women, I know many women with this placement who have either PCOS or endometriosis.

[dreamingincanolafields]

Ok Y’all

I don’t know how the Michael/Michaela Genderswap is going on here but I was discussing it with my mom and wanted to see if everyone else shares a similar idea to us about Frannie’s season of the show as it relates to Michaela and her storyline during her siblings seasons that will respect both love stories and the topics discussed.

These are of course just my opinions. This is wordy and I wrote this after binging the whole season it’s 2 am so please bear with me.

TW: infertility, discussions and mentions of loss of spouse and pregnancy

Season 4 (Benedict)

It’s been a year so Francesca and John are delivering a happy Eloise (who has in fact seen past Aubrey hall and for other reasons 😉) home to the ton for the Bridgerton Family Masquerade ball (hosted by both the Viscountess and Dowager Vicountess)

Francesca seems off in the crowds, more so than she did during her season the previous year.

Ofc, Violet picks up on it and is so distracted by it she doesn’t notice her son leave the ballroom with an extra guest (iykyk)

We see Lady Danbury and her brother getting along and jesting with each other.

Violet learns of Frannie’s and John’s struggles with conceiving (whether it be it not happening or the pain of a loss) and supports them both with kind words and items of knowledge she has heard from the other mamas after many a conversation and the information is asked for (we love a respectful queen)

We see Michaela and her personality longer that 2 seconds☺️

Throughout the season we watch Eloise grabbing letters from Sophie (if they keep the Cinderella storyline) and rushing off to her room (from a Phillip who hopes for a love match after figuring out Eloise’s personality because our girl deserves a love match and those kids deserve a support system after what would be the passing of Marina)

We see Frannie and John return to Kilmartin House and try — Michaela offering a shoulder of support to Frannie as she tries to remain hopeful—

Sophie and Benedict’s plot goes on

As they are in town for Ben and Sophie’s small ceremony, we see a happy Frannie and John who quietly tell Violet they are expecting a baby (can be now or the next season maybe not yet?)

Sophie and Benedict go to My Cottage

Season 5 (Eloise)

Eloise gets a letter from Phillip (and we learn that she met a widowed Phillip while he was conducting research on the Kilmartin property and begins correspondence) inviting her for a visit. She goes to Pen and confesses to her about the written courtship

Eloise and Penelope visit Phillip because our girl is not being forced into marriage (and hopefully My Cottage exists in the TVverse)

Violet and Lady Danbury support one another and discuss as they have never experienced a written courtship before and they don’t understand it

Francesca is in town for the season with a beautiful baby boy or girl, John of course has a seat at parliament and needs to be there. Michaela always has a spot in the Kilmartin house so she has came down as well.

We still get the “tell me something wicked” portion as Michaela has revealed her secret to Frannie (plus we get to keep Frannie’s curiosity 😉)

We see Eloise and Phillip ACTUALLY get to know one another and we get to see an actual courtship and the kids warm up to Eloise (Pranks of course will ensue)

Eloise and Phillip marry happily

We see John and Francesca at home, he’s complaining of a headache. Frannie and Michaela have him go lay down before their nightly walk and gossip

Eloise and Phillip do their thing (I mean this is about Frannie but I feel this is how the show should be and I can’t stop myself)

JOHN DIES OFF SCREEN — for the love of everything that is good and holy I can’t watch our babies suffer like the scene in the book. Maybe we see Violet get an urgent message and rush to Francesca’s side.

Season Six (Francesca)

It’s been a month since John passed, a pregnant Francesca is keeping everything together with help from Michaela as her son John Jr (or smth) is too young to take over the title just yet.

Both are in mourning. We see Michaela go through her feelings for both the man she considers her brother and the feelings she has for his wife.

We watch Francesca and her bad luck with rain constantly going on walks.

We see Michaela watch her love and friend suffer with the loss of everything she knew.

We see our girls grieve together and get even closer

Michaela is forced to return to her mother (as a woman can’t travel has been a big pointed issue in the last few seasons) so we can give Francesca and Michaela time to make sure they have somewhat healed because our girls deserve a good start

By the time Michaela is able to return time has passed and the letters passed back and forth have not been frequent or consistent so we have some initial awkwardness

We have baby Janet Stirling

Hyacinth is making her debut so Frannie and the kids are in town to support her, Kate, and Violet — we get sister supporting sister and making sure they stay sane

Ofc Hyacinth is spending time with lady Danbury too

We watch our girls fall in love with each other

We see Francesca confess to her mother that she doesn’t want to remarry and is finding comfort with her love

We see Violet be confused only due to the era and its normally kept secret but she accepts that her daughter is happy, supporting them as a couple

We see the girls be guilty like they do in the book but both come to terms that John would be happy that 2 of the people he loves most in this world are happy with each other.

We see hints of Hyacinths love interest through lady Danbury (because we still need that plot point in our lives a Danbury/Bridgerton Family Merger) and all of our Wed bridgerton siblings in the countryside with all the cousins playing happily.

Auntie Michaela is great with all the kids

We see Francesca happy knowing she has had 2 great romances in her life and a wonderful family.

WE STILL GET “Thank you Michaela for letting my son love her first”

In Conclusion

All of this is to say we can stay true to Francesca’s love for John and have our Michaela and Frannie’s storyline with their love too.

We can still have the infertility storyline whether it be immediate, loss, or secondary the writers can make sure that it is respected and brought in respectfully while keeping the regency theme

Y’know I want to see Eloise’s story tweaked (I have strong feelings about her getting a fair love story)

While we can’t have the Michael imposter syndrome portion we can still see a love story worthy of a Julia Quinn novel

TLDR: Just because it’s different doesn’t mean that it isn’t going to be good. I have faith that the writers will make sure these characters and their stories different or same are done respectfully.

[system-sexuality]

Awareness post for in-system pregnancy - TW for pregnancy loss, infertility.

Those who are trying to or want to concieve. Those who have had biological children within their own system. Those who are struggling to concieve or experience infertility in their system.

Those who need to take preventative measures like contraceptives for innerworld/headspace sex to avoid pregnancy. Those who have had abortions within their system.

Those with "unusual" or unique pregnancies. Quick or immediate gestation periods, extended gestation periods. Forgetting that you're pregnant. Those that needed to "construct" or make a tulpa of their child in order to complete the pregnancy.

Those with pregnancy phobias, pregnancy trauma, or post-partum conditions which affect your system in some way. Those that experience pregnancy complications in-system. Those that experience symptoms of pregnancy in their body during an in-system pregnancy. Those that hold onto trauma from or related to pregnancy.

Those who experience gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia due to how pregnancy functions in their system.

Those who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy in their system. Those who have lost system members during in-system childbirth.

Whatever your experience with in-system pregnancy is, it is valid, and your feelings about it are valid. You can be proud. You can hold onto hope if you have a goal in mind. You can protect yourself to feel safer. You may grieve if you need to.

Your emotions are real. Your pain is very, very real.

[eden031]

Here‘s to courage

Aemond Targaryen x reader/original female character

About 6k words long

Modern! AU

TW: sexual harassment (not by Aemond though), talks of infertility

With a loud sigh she let herself fall into her chair, the light of the computer felt like it was burning into her eyes. The pounding headache was still not gone, even after taking painkillers it did not get any better. Maybe she should not have drunk that much last night, knowing that she would have to drag herself to work the next day.

„Good Morning.“ the voice of Otto Hightower brought her back to reality. He was standing in front of her, his long coat draped over one arm and the suit he was wearing looked like the newest edition to his wardrobe, a deep navy blue with a white dress shirt.

„Good Morning, Sir.“ she smiled at him, his eyes wrinkling slightly at the sides. He looked a lot more happy than he usually did. Most of the time his expression seemed to be sulking or unhappy with something, but on this particular morning he looked like a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

„How was your weekend?“ he asked, hanging up the coat on the rack. The young woman was slightly startled by the question, Mr Hightower had never been a rude employer, but he had also never been particularly interested in his employees personal life.

„Good. My brothers and I drove up north to visit family, it was nice. Both my brothers thrived on being up there again. How about yours?“ she laughed softly and shook her head at the thought of how happy her older brother had been to see their older sisters again and how good the air up north had been for her other brother‘s lungs after he had developed severe pneumonia. She could, however, not tell him about the more bitter and sad part of the weekend, which led to her thundering headache.

„That is good to hear. My weekend has consisted of the usual business.“ he waved his hand in the air and sighed softly. She knew what that meant, it meant that his grandchildren had driven him up the wall and his daughter had probably ranted about her husband and maybe his oldest grandson had even brought around his new girlfriend or even one of his many kids.

„Could you call a few people for me before the normal issues of the day come flooding in?“ he asked her as he picked up the briefcase again, which he had sat down before hanging up the coat.

„Of course.“ she held back her comment that this was exactly her job, calling people for him, taking calls for him and scheduling every event while keeping track of all the requests that came into the Mailbox during the day.

„Here is the list and what I want from them or what you have to tell them. Some calls are internal, others are external.“ he handed her a large piece of paper, which he had drawn out of his breast pocket and unfolded with one hand.

She just nodded and smiled at him, with that he disappeared into the room which was behind her office. It was not really an office, she was only a secretary after all and that meant no big office for her.

As she looked down at the list she let out a drawn out groan, it was long and a few of the names on it were not her favorite ones to call. His handwriting was neat and tidy, yet it was elegant, which made it easy to read.

Lyman Beesbury

Ask about the debt to the Lannister Banks and how much of the budget for the new project has to be loaned to the Company

Jason Lannister

Tell him that we will not be able to pay the debt back with the current interest rate, negotiate (if he is not willing to cooperate put him through to me)

Harwin Strong

Put through the list of attendees for the Gala and the current security guidelines that have to be taken into consideration for such an event

Hobert Hightower

Also put through the list of attendees for the Gala and tell him that I want him to prepare a separate account for the donations for the Gala

The list went on and on with tasks like these, most of them either relating to some form of finance or the Gala coming up in a month. With a heavy sigh she placed her head on the table, closing her eyes before looking at the last point on the paper.

Aemond Targaryen

Tell him that he will be attending the six o‘clock meeting with me tomorrow.

She rolled her eyes at that, but also felt some kind of relief. Aemond was always polite when she called and never snapped at her so at least there was something to look forward to while she was making some of the more dreadful calls on the list. With a glance at the clock she picked up the phone on her desk and started to dial the number of Lyman Beesbury. She had exactly one and a half hours before the usual rush of the day started to flood in and then she would be buried in work.

With a groan she hung up that second to last call and dropped her hands on the keyboard in front of her. She had a deep resentment for that Baratheon man, he always made disgusting comments about her and her professional relationship with Otto Hightower. She looked at the clock again, it was now almost an hour into the normal work day and she was already stacking up work for the rest of the day, making copies of certain documents, putting things away, sending Emails to different people with requests or telling them that they did not do their job correctly. One more time she picked up the phone and dialed the number of Aemond Targaryen. After one ring he picked up.

„Hello, Aemond Targaryen speaking.“ his smooth voice came through the speaker.

„Hello, Mr. Targaryen! Here is-„ she was interrupted by him.

„Ah, dear. How can I help you?“ his voice was calm and she could hear the tapping of a keyboard in the background. It always flustered her that he called her dear, but she never said anything because it did not make her uncomfortable.

„I am just calling because Mr. Hightower wants to let you know that you will be joining him for his six o‘clock meeting tomorrow.“ she waited for him to say something.

„Alright. Tell him that I will be there. I just have a quick question: who else is attending the meeting?“ he asked, the tapping in the background had stopped a few moments ago and scribbling had come into the audio now.

„Uhm…I can answer you in just one moment.“ she hacked the date and time into the calendar, which she kept for Mr. Hightower’s meetings.

„The meeting is with Ms. Rhaenyra Targaryen,“ she paused and continued to read the other names, a bad feeling settling in her stomach. „Mr. Corlys Velaryon, Mr. Vaemond Velaryon and Mr. Daemon Targaryen. As well as Mrs. Targaryen and of course Mr. Hightower." She licked her lips and waited for him to say anything. There was only the sound of his breathing now.

„Thank you. One more question; is my grandfather currently available?“ he sounded angry about something and she really did not want to know what he was angry about. She knew a lot about the problems within the Targaryen family, but by far not everything.

„Uhm, yes he is. He is in his office right now.“ she said calmly.

„Thank you, goodbye.“ Before she was able to say anything he hung up. Quickly she sat down the phone and now stared at the documents laying in front of her. With a sigh she took the stapler from the side of the desk and started to look through the dokuments, wanting to know which of them belonged together and which of them needed to be put away separately.

While she was stapling and putting away all the documents she remembered why she had such a blaring headache. It had not been a pleasant night, normally she did not drink that much, but due to her unnerving aunt she had drunk one glass of whiskey after the other and had realized too late that drinking almost three quarters of a Whiskey bottle was not a good idea. The woman had been asking about when she would get married and why she was not engaged and when they would be able to welcome more children into the family. Her aunt was particularly cruel when it came to things like these. The woman never kept it to the annoying enough questions, but always started to insult the other person the drunker she got. The best insult of the evening that had been thrown at her head had been:“defect breeding cow“, which would have not affected her as much if it was not for the fact that her Gynecologist had recently told her that the chance of her ever having children was slim, not zero but close to. She shook her head to get rid of the images and the feelings associated with that night, pushing the stapler aggressively into the paper and then putting it in the hole puncher to even more aggressively punch the holes into the papers.

Suddenly the door flew open and Aemond strode into the room. His face filled with annoyance as he closed the door behind him. Closed was the right word, he had not slammed it, he never slammed doors unlike his older brother who seemed to be always slamming doors.

„Mr. Targaryen,“ she nodded at him, her eyes turned back to her work. She did not want to bother him, especially not when he was angry about something. He smiled softly at her, greeting her and continuing to Otto Hightowers office.

After Aemond had entered, muffled voices were audible from the room, however only a mere moment later the muffled voices turned into something that sounded much more like shouting.

She tried hard not to listen to anything they were saying since it felt like a huge invasion of privacy. Luckily their voices were only muffled again after a few moments.

The young woman was not sure how long their talking continued, but after some time Aemond left the office again. He walked slowly and also closed the door gently again. Now she was finally able to get a good look at him. Aemond Targaryen was in his mid twenties, lean and had gorgeous platinum blonde hair, which shone softly. Otherwise he was also very good looking and always well dressed, on this particular day he accentuated his frame with a tight fitting, emerald green dress shirt and black slacks.

„Would you like to come to the kitchen with me and get a coffee?“ he asked her as he was about to leave the room.

„I would love to!“ she smiled softly and got up from her chair, her back aching since she had been sitting since the early morning.

He opened the door for her and let her pass, he left the room after her and gently closed the door. Together they quietly walked through the corridor.

„You have probably heard that my dear father will be hosting a Gala next month.“ Aemond broke the silence as they continued their way to the kitchen.

„I have, actually I have been making calls about that all day and sending Email out about certain regulations that have to be met.“ she chuckled softly as they turned a corner.

„Oh, well that is also good to know. At least I now know that someone competent handled the bureaucracy of the whole event.“ he said.

„Thank you, but to be honest: Mr. Hightower did a lot of the bureaucracy things, I just sent out the Emails for him and made the phone calls.“ she laughed softly.

He just hummed in what seemed like disagreement, but she was not able to place the sound combined with his nonchalant facial expression.

„Have you received an invitation?“ he asked, seeming genuinely interested in the answer.

„Oh no! I do not get invited to any events of the sort. After all, I am just a secretary that does not have that much influence. There is no need to invite me.“

Aemond looked over at her, his eyes opened wide and his eyebrows raised.

„Well, then. If you have not received an invitation yet then please see this as your invitation to the Gala, as my plus one.“ he said.

She stared at him in shock for a moment. He had seriously asked her to come to the Gala as his plus one. She took a shaky breath and swallowed the lump in her throat.

„Thank you, Mr. Targaryen.“ she said quietly.

„Aemond.“ he responded plainly.

„Excuse me?“ she asked, not quite understanding what he wanted to say with that.

„Please call me Aemond. I believe that I have told you on a few occasions already that I do not like to be called by my last name.“ he smiled softly as they reached the kitchen.

„Thank you, Aemond.“

„Have you finished up everything for the day?“ Otto Hightower asked as he exited his office. He seemed to be in a hurry to leave, which made sense since tonight was the big night in which hours and hours of planning had been invested. He probably also had to get changed since his usual plain suit would not be doing well at the Gala.

„Yes, Sir. Everything is finished, all the pile up of the last few weeks is also gone and you can go to the Gala with a good conscience.“ she smiled at him as he put down the briefcase.

„Good, good.“ he paused for a moment, „You do know that Aemond told me that he invited you as his plus one, right?“ he asked.

She felt her face heat up slightly as she looked at her hands. All the time after Aemond had invited her she had not told Mr. Hightower since she did not know what he would say, but the fact that Aemond already told him made things much easier.

„No, he did not tell me that he informed you about that.“ she laughed softly, trying to cover up how flustered she was. The older man hummed slightly, but just nodded.

„You should also leave, I believe getting ready will take you some time.“ his expression was kind as he picked up the coat and draped it over his shoulders.

„Until later.“ he said, after she also said goodbye he left, shortly after she also took all of her things and made her way home.

She took a deep breath as she looked at herself in the mirror. The light green dress was smoothed out perfectly and her hair had been done perfectly by one of her friends who worked as a hairstylist, falling loosely over her shoulders and complementing the color of the dress. For her shoes she had opted for cream colored strap heels, which blended nicely with the color of the dress. A pair of small golden hoops dangled from her ears as she took the clutch.

Aemond had told her not to worry about what she would be wearing and wear something she felt comfortable in, which turned out to be harder than she thought at first since most of the dresses she owned and already knew felt comfortable in were not appropriate for a Gala in any way. As she looked away from the mirror she glanced at the clock, it was almost time for him to come pick her up, nervously she smoothed out the dress once again and made her way over to her coat rag. It was not too cold, but still rather cool, especially since she was wearing a dress that unfortunately did not have any sleeves. Before she was able to grab her coat the bell rang and she walked towards the speaker in the wall.

„Hello, Aemond?“ she simply spoke into the microphone. For a moment there was silence.

„Yes, dear.“ as she heard his voice she pressed the unlock button for the door and went to take her coat and her clutch. She opened the door and made her way into the stairwell, closing the door and locking it behind her.

As she was about to call the elevator the doors opened and Aemond stood in front of her. She felt like someone had knocked all of the air out of her lungs. He stood there, looking like a model. His lean body was clad in a beautiful black suit with a black dress shirt, but no tie or fly. The soft platinum blonde hair was brushed back, but still hanging loosely over her back and shoulders.

„Hi.“ she whispered softly as she stepped into the elevator, almost realizing too late that she had been staring at the man.

„Hello, dear.“ he smiled softly at her as he pressed the button for the ground floor and seemed to relax.

„You look beautiful in that dress.“ he looked at her with an expression that she was unable to read. His one eye looked her up and down while the glass eye, which he had chosen to be a sapphire, shone bright in the light of the elevator.

„Thank you. You look rather handsome yourself.“ her eyes traveled up and down his figure again, the first two buttons of his shirt were opened, which made it look a lot more relaxed than it would have looked if he had been wearing a tie. At the statement he chuckled softly.

With a soft ding the elevator came to a stop, as the doors opened he stretched out his arm, signaling her that she should take his arm. Her hand landed on the crook of his elbow, making her feel like she gave up some sort of control, a fact that would have terrified her under normal circumstances, but this was different, right now she was happy that someone was guiding her.

They approached a car that was standing in one of the parking spaces in the area. It looked to be an older Porsche model, but she had in all honesty no idea what kind of car it was. Aemond opened the back door for her and she took a seat in the back of the car, putting on the seat belt, greeting the man that was sitting at the wheel. The young man rounded the car and took a seat beside her.

As the car was set in motion by the driver she looked out of the window. His voice brought her back to reality.

„I will give you a fair warning before we arrive. There will be a lot of people taking photos, especially while we exit the car.“ he adjusted his cuffs as he spoke.

„Oh.“ she swallowed harshly, knowing that that would be hard for her, she had of course expected it, but it still felt odd.

„No need to worry.“ he chuckled softly. „I will guide you. Wait for me to get out of the car, then I can help you exit.“ he paused again and studied her face for a moment. „While we are in the main hall, you can just mingle. Before the buffet there will be many speeches, they are not the most interesting, but you will be able to pass the time. Afterwards it is just food, polite conversation and dancing.“

„Thank you. I am good at mingling and listening as well, that is a positive.“ she smiled softly as Aemond raised his eyebrow and looked at her with confusion written across his face.

„Well, mingling and listening is my job after all. I do not only send out emails, but make calls that need a sensible tone and an open ear.“ she smiled softly. „And if I may say so myself; I have gotten quite good at listening to people talking about things that I have no idea about.“

He laughed softly and shook his head. „Then I should keep you close since listening to the ramblings of my father‘s business partners is not my strong suit.“ There were a few moments of silence then he spoke again. „Also I would recommend you leave your coat in the car as well as the bag, there will not be many places to hang it and things can easily get lost at these Galas.“

„Oh, alright.“ She began shrugging off her coat, knowing that the hall which they had booked for the Gala was only a few minutes away from where they currently were. A slight shiver ran through her body as she felt the warm coat leave her body. Only shortly after she pulled it out from beneath her and folded it on the middle seat.

„I have never seen someone take a coat off so elegantly while sitting, even my dear my mother is not able to do that.“ he laughed and shook his head in amazement.

„It comes easier when you spent most of your childhood in a car. You actually learn to do a lot of things while in a moving car.“ she laughed softly.

The short rest of the drive was spent in silence. The car pulled up beside the hall and stopped at the height of a red carpet. Smoothly the driver reached for her coat and clutch and put it on the passenger seat before Aemond opened the door. As he did so she heard and saw the flashes of cameras going off. Waiting a short moment she scooted over and also got out of the car, taking Aemond‘s hand in the process. The only thoughts on her mind were to keep your legs together while getting out of the car and your hand on the neckline of your dress. Luckily, she exited the car smoothly and without issue.

As she stood securely Aemond offered her his arm again, she took it and they began to walk. She smiled softly as they made their way to the entrance of the hall. The flashes of the cameras were truly blinding and she was happy that Aemond seemed to be so confidently strudding towards the entrance.

It became apparent immediately that they entered the building since the flashes stopped. She took a deep breath and looked up at Aemond, looking to find some kind of reassurance, which she also found: he wore a gentle smile and nodded at her. They continued into the main room of the hall and she again felt like someone knocked all the air out of her lungs.

The ceiling was made of glass and shimmered softly, but the most impressive thing of the whole building was the massive chandelier, which was hanging in the middle of the ceiling. It was made of glass and what seemed like crystals, the light cascading down from it made the room feel like a scene from a fairy tale. This feeling only intensified as she looked at the people in the room. All of them were immaculately dressed as well as having some kind of regal air about them.

He moved his arm away from hers, but quickly placed his hand on the small of her back. She tried to follow his gaze, which led her eyes to a group of people with the signature blonde hair of the Targaryens.

„Come, my family is there. I think we should greet them.“ his voice was soft, yet it still carried over the muttering and talk of the crowd with ease. She just nodded and he directed her effortlessly through the crowd, people parted to let them through.

Finally they arrived at the group. She recognized a few people; Viserys Targaryen and his wife seemed to be the first to notice the pair approaching. Alicent Hightower, the wife of Viserys, was a beautiful woman with big brown eyes and a soft face, she was clad in a dark green evening gown with black heels and her hair pulled back in a slick bun. Viserys Targaryen himself was seated in his wheelchair, the suit he wore looked similar to the one Aemond was wearing, just that he wore a red tie with it. The other people were Aegon Targaryen and Helaena Targaryen, Aemond‘s older siblings, as well as Daeron Targaryen, Aemond‘s youngest brother. They all looked immaculate, Helaena wearing a golden dress with long sleeves, Aegon looked the most casual out of all of them with his white dress shirt and black slacks. Daeron wore a dark green satin suit paired with a black dress shirt and a green tie. Moreover there were Rhaenyra Targaryen and her husband Daemon along with Rhaenyra‘s sons and Daemon‘s daughters. Rhaenyra and Daemon‘s daughters, Baela and Rhaena, wore black dresses with varying accents of red. Daemon in a black suit with a black turtleneck pullover and all of Rhaenyra‘s sons seemed to be matching their grandfather.

„Aemond! I knew you would bring the cute secretary!“ Aegon shouted as they approached. His face lit up as he saw his brother, she saw as much, but felt a wave of nervousness hit her as all eyes were on her and Aemond. The large family all seemed to expect her to say something.

„Good evening everyone.“ Aemond greeted politely. He let go of her for a moment to go over to his mother and kiss her on the cheek. „Mother.“

„Hello.“ she smiled as relaxed as she could, but still felt like anyone from the group would be coming at her at any given moment. Before anything else could be exchanged Aemond took his place by her side again, looking positively annoyed by the fact that his nephews were present.

„Just a fair warning Aemond, the waiters have not finished setting the table. Take care so that they don‘t get to your other eye.“ Lucerys, one of Aemond‘s nephews, snickered. She felt how his hand slit over to her hip and the grip on her seemed to get stronger.

„You should be careful as well, nephew. We do not want an accident to happen to your eye, would we?“ Aemond seemed so calm as he said it, but there was a very definite threat behind these words. She felt a lump form in her throat as hateful glares were exchanged between the men.

„No, we wouldn‘t.“ a new voice came from behind her. She turned around, looking for the person that had just spoken. It was Otto Hightower and she never felt relief wash over her quicker before. A warm smile spread across her face as she saw her employer.

„Mr. Hightower.“ she nodded at him. He looked away from both of the young men and sent her a kind smile, his expression turned stony again as he looked at his oldest grandson.

„Aegon, come. Some people want to meet you.“ his voice was stern as he said those words, clearly displeased that they wanted to meet the young man.

„Do I really have to?“ he whined.

„Yes!“ Mr. Hightower snarled, turning around again to make his way back into the masses. Aegon followed him silently.

They stood there in silence for a few minutes then Aemond spoke again.

„If you would excuse us.“ Aemond already started walking away, almost dragging her behind him.

„Goodbye.“ she hurriedly said as she walked with Aemond. He seemed annoyed as they walked through the crowd.

„That was intense.“ she muttered under her breath, happy about the fact that she was able to escape that circle of hell. After Aemond had asked her to accompany him to the Gala they had spoken more and he had invited her for coffee and cake from time to time. That led to her knowing a lot more about the formidable Targaryen family than before and not all of the things she learned were good. However, she had not expected things to get out of hand so quickly once they were all gathered in one place.

„There have been worse things to happen during family get-togethers.“ he muttered under his breath. Before she was able to say anything to him about the interaction again a large man swept in front of them. He was broad shouldered with shoulder long black hair and clear blue eyes.

„Now, now Aemond Targaryen!“ the man laughed and held out his hand. It was Borros Baratheon, the current head of the Storms End company, a man she strongly disliked for many reasons. Sadly, she had to interact with him regularly on a professional level. Before he was able to say anything to her someone took her hand and tugged on it.

„Come, I want to show you the balcony.“ the voice of a woman said. She looked at the woman, it was Helaena. Looking at Aemond for a moment she just nodded.

„Of course.“ Helaena dragged her to the balcony and stopped once they overlooked the city. Kings Landing was beautiful during the night, many lights were shining from all the buildings and even some of the smaller quarters of the city were alight. This city was never truly asleep, everywhere at any time people were making their way through the city and working.

„Thank you.“ she whispered softly as she leaned against the railing, looking down at the magnificent city.

„There is no need to thank me. I know how much you hate him.“ she hummed softly. Her eyes seemed distant, like she was somewhere completely different. She had been well acquainted with Helaena for most of the time she had worked for Otto Hightower, however their friendship had only begun shortly before Aemond had asked her to join him for the Gala.

They stood outside for what felt like half an hour, looking at the city and speaking hushed whispers, giggling softly at each other's jokes. Suddenly she realized that she was freezing and needed to get inside if she did not want to get hypothermic.

„Helaena? I need to get back inside, I am freezing.“ she muttered softly. Helaena just nodded and hummed.

She entered the warm hall again and felt her skin prickle at the warmth of the air. Now the next step was to find Aemond again, she did not want to be alone for too long. While walking through the crowd she greeted a few people politely and even held short conversations with them. Most of them she knew, having already met them at meetings or similar events. Out of nowhere a warm hand landed on the small of her back. She turned, fully expecting to see Aemond but she was wrong, very wrong. It was Jason Lannister.

„How nice it is to see you here!“ he greeted her with a polite smile, his hand not leaving the small of her back the whole time.

„Mr. Lannister, it is a pleasure to see you.“ she nodded politely, trying to writhe her way away from his hand, but it stayed there, moving up to her hip. It was easy to smell that the man was drunk out of his mind, his breath reeking of alcohol.

„Now tell me, doll. What did Aemond Targaryen promise you if you showed up here with him?“ Now she heard that his speech was slurred, only confirming her theory.

„I do not quite understand what you are talking about, Mr. Lannister.“ she felt how his grip on her hip only got more intense.

„You know, did he promise you money? Maybe a promotion? Or a good fuck? Because the last thing he can‘t give you, however I know someone that might.“ his face was dangerously close to hers now and she felt like she was about to throw up as her brain fully processed what the man had just said. As he was about to press his lips against her he was pulled back from her, it was such an aggressive pull that she stumbled back slightly.

„Back off Lannister. She does not want to talk to you.“ Aemond hissed as he wrapped his arm around her waist, still placing himself slightly in front of her. Before Jason Lannister was able to say anything to her or Aemond, Aemond pulled her away and into the crowd.

After they had put a good distance between them and Jason Lannister, Aemond let go of her.

„Are you okay?“ he took her hand and looked her in the eyes. For a moment she was contemplating lying to him, telling him that she was okay that this had not affected her in the slightest, but it had. It had scared her and she felt like she was about to throw up.

She just quietly shook her head and took a step closer to him, Aemond understood the gesture and pulled her into a warm embrace.

„Alright, let's find you a place to sit down.“ he took her hand and guided her through the crowd to one of the tables. He sat her down on the chair in front of him and gently rubbed her arm as he scanned the crowd. She tried to follow his gaze, she spotted the same person he did or rather the two people. It was Aegon and Otto Hightower: Aemond shouted Aegon‘s name and the man turned right away. Aemond waved his hand, signaling him to come over, Otto Hightower followed behind his grandson. As they arrived Otto‘s eyes immediately fell on the young woman sitting on the chair, she looked like a scared deer, eyes glossed over and hands shaking.

„What happened?“ he asked right away as they arrived. His face was hard and he seemed displeased.

„Jason Lannister happened,“ Aemond snarled. Otto raised one of eyebrows, Aemond leaned in and whispered in his grandfather‘s ear. His expression became furious.

„I will get one of the security people to deal with him.“ Otto disappeared after that. Aegon now stood there, looking like he had no idea what to do.

„And what do you need me for?“ Aegon asked.

„Get two lemon cakes from the buffet.“ Aemond‘s voice was commanding and Aegon quickly obliged.

The rest of the evening went by without incident. Jason Lannister had been escorted out of the building by a group of security people and no one else had dared to come near her after that, the fact that she was attached to Aemond‘s arm for the rest of the evening probably also played its part.

Just like Aemond had said the speeches were boring, but she just let her thoughts wander during that time. After the buffet had opened and people had started dancing, the shock of the encounter with Jason Lannister slipped off her like a blanket and she began to enjoy herself. While she was chatting with Helaena she looked over at Aemond who was just speaking to Criston Cole, one of the private security people of the Targaryen family. He looked a lot more relaxed now, but there was still a certain tension in his shoulders.

As he returned to the table she got up from her seat.

„Is everything alright?“ Aemond asked, surprised that she seemed to get up so abruptly.

„Yes, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to dance?“ she smiled at him, this request seemed to have taken him by surprise.

„Of course, why not?“ he smiled and took her hand. As they reached the dance floor a more upbeat song started playing. Aemond twirled her as they danced to the song. Moving towards each other, then apart again, twirling and turning. She laughed as Aemond dipped her down and pulled her up again. They continued like that for what felt like hours. She was in a bliss of pure enjoyment, especially when the slower songs played and he would place his hands on her hips and just gently sway with her. As one song came to an end she looked up at him, seeing how he looked down at her with an unreadable expression, but it was not unfamiliar, he looked at her like he had looked at her in the elevator. Then suddenly he leaned down and gently kissed her, their lips met and she was unable to breath for a moment, she was shocked, but in a pleasant way. He pulled away again, a soft smile on his lips as she looked up at him with big eyes.

„I hope that was okay.“ he whispered softly as they continued to dance.

„It was.“ she laughed softly.

The rest of the evening they danced, they danced and laughed. Aemond knew that it would not be easy for him, but courage was a first step in the right direction.

[galacticquiltsystem]

Galactic Quilt System's Sideblogs

The following is the current list of our system's headmates' sideblogs as of 5/4/24! Note: if you got a follow from this account, it’s quite likely that one of our individual headmates wanted to follow you - you can probably guess who it was by checking out their individual blogs! :)

@gq-aina "Cherry Blossoms and Sparkles" This blog is run by Aina and focuses on anime, lolita fashion, and Japanese culture.

@gq-agate “Recovering Shopaholic” The System has a shopping addiction. Agate is the primary symptom-holder of that addiction. She is blogging about her journey to healing.

@gq-aphra "Mud Puddle Splashing" This blog is run by Aphra and focuses on goblincore content.

@gq-beetle "Bugs, Bugs, Bugs!" Content Warning: bugs, beetles, spiders, creepy-crawlies. This blog is run by Beetle, a headmate who loves all things bugs!

@gq-bivvie "Just Another Omega" This blog is run by Bivvie and focuses on omegaverse content from the perspective of an Omega.

@gq-canary "2BA Master" This blog is run by Canary and focuses on Pokemon-related content, including Canary's journey to play and beat every Pokemon game in existence.

@gq-cattree “The Cat Tree” This blog is shared by the various domesticated cat headmates in system. They range in levels of anthropomorphism.

@gq-doghouse “The Dog House” This blog is shared by all the various domesticated dog headmates in system. They range in levels of anthropomorphism.

@gq-emiyo “Emi-chan’s Playhouse” What happens when a kawaii otaku is also a Little? Emiyo! She loves magical girl anime and cute dresses!

@gq-faewyn “Music Curator” Faewyn curates Spotify playlists and shares them here!

@gq-fen "Recovering System Host" This blog is run by Fen and focuses on her journey to view herself beyond her system roles and her feelings as the current host of the system. Will contain a lot of parenting and cottagecore content. TW: cancer and infertility trauma.

@gq-fiasco "The Anarchist Blanket Fort" This blog is run by Fiasco and focuses on anarchist/leftist content.

@gq-francesca "Be My Neighbor" This blog is run by Francesca (a Fred Rogers factive) and focuses on positivity content, primarily as a way to cultivate a place for the rest of our system to go when we need positive reminders.

@gq-freckle "The Dollhouse" Run by Freckle, an adult Little (age regressor) in our system, her blog focuses on doll-related content, including her subsystem, which is comprised of dolls. A lot of Rainbow High and American Girl Doll stuff here!

@gq-fritzy "Little Fritter" This blog is run by Fritzy, a sfw adult age-regressor. This blog will focus primarily on agere content with an agender lens.

@gq-galaxy "A Star Reborn" This blog is run by Galaxy, a VTuber fictive ("OC") who started life as a literal star and after going supernova, awoke in a spaceship adrift in the stars in a new, humanoid form.

@gq-gwendolyn “Divergent Slytherin” This blog is run by Gwen, a Harry Potter fictive. She understands her source is problematic and she is trying to work through her love for her source and her understanding of its problems.

@gq-indica "Catnip Thoughts" This blog is run by a Sprigatito fictive who adores catnip and her namesake. It will contain 420 themes and content.

@gq-ivy "Modern Witching" Ivy's subblog features mostly Pagan and witchy content, as she is a center of spirituality within the System.

@gq-jasper "Aspiring Artist" What it says on the tin! Jasper is a lover of all artistic mediums and this blog will focus on creating and appreciating different kinds of art.

@gq-jessica “Horsegirl Forever” Jessica is an adult Little/Middle who loves all things horses.

@gq-josie "Magic Is Kawaii" This blog is run by Josie and focuses on gaming content - primarily Magic: the Gathering.

@gq-julianne "Support Main" Julianne is a Soraka (League of Legends) fictive. She has split from her source somewhat, but still enjoys playing League and other competitive video games, even though she isn't very good at them.

@gq-kalylia "Sweet Swirlybun" A former system host, Kalylia, works on finding out more about herself and what life will be like for her now that she is no longer the host of the system.

@gq-leigh "Dreaming of Disney" This blog is run by Leigh and focuses on Disney content (franchises, movies, and parks).

@gq-maisie "The Language of the Loaf" Maisie adores baking and her blog will focus on that alongside cooking and all things food. Note: Maisie appears innerworld with darker skin. She is NOT "transracial" - we understand that our body is white and we in no way believe ourselves to be POC.

@gq-miku "Alt MikU" An alternate universe Hatsune Miku, this fictive-run blog will focus on our Miku and her journey to self-discovery and self-fulfillment.

@gq-monstera "Cryptozoology Jams" This blog is run by Monstera and focuses on various cryptid and monster content, including fictional franchises like Monster High.

@gq-moodboards “Moodboard Requests” Run by the Littles and SysKids - entirely for moodboards we make. Requests for moodboards are welcome there.

@gq-nadia "Poolside Bookworm" Nadia's sideblog will feature reading content, book reviews, poolside pictures, etc.

@gq-oakley "Pups and Pastures" Oakley is a former horse girl and her blog will feature tons of content about her special interests: horses, dogs, and dreams of van life.

@gq-olivia “Middle of the Ride” Olivia is an adult age regressor who regressed to a more “middle” age in the 10-12 range. She loves Webkinz, Neopets, Flight Rising, and other browser based games.

@gq-paradigm "Kawaii Paradigm" Paradigm is a cozy video games streamer. Her content will focus on cozy and wholesome video games.

@gq-parisa “Feathered Hugs” Run by our angelkin headmate Parisa, who has major caregiver energy. She loves to take care of Littles.

@gq-pichi "Poke-Pals Space" This blog is run by age-regressor Pichi and will focus on Pokemon content specifically from an agere perspective.

@gq-pippa "Pippa's Palace" This blog is run by Pippa (a MINOR) and will focus on her various interests as a young teen, which include Minecraft, skincare, and princesscore.

@gq-ponycrew "Friendship is Plural" This blog is collectively run by the Galactic Quilt System's My Little Pony subsystem and includes both canon and oc fictives. It will focus on MLP content.

@gq-rowan "The Threehouse" Rowan is an adult age regressor (Little) in the system who loves nature and cottagecore. Her blog will feature these themes.

@gq-sanrio "The Sanrio Squad" This blog is collectively run by the Galactic Quilt System's Sanrio fictive subsystem and will focus on Sanrio content.

@gq-saoirse "Selkie Secrets" Saoirse is a very shy headmate and also an adult age regressor. She loves selkies, seals, cold weather, and related things.

@gq-sebby "The Littlest Anarchist" This blog is run by Sebby, an adult age-regressor, and will focus on alternative little content (punk and spooky themes).

@gq-seren "Parchment and Dice" This blog is run by Seren, a half-elf, and will focus on various tabletop rpg content.

@gq-shine “Georgiabama Catfish” Run by our Dystopia Rising fictive headmate. Shine will likely be using this to journal her time at and in-between LARP meets.

@gq-skipper "Clowning Around" Skipper's sideblog focuses on clowncore, clowning, puppets, and circus arts - her favorite things!

@gq-story "A Storied Tapestry" Part of our healing process is handled by Story, a headmate who creates short stories based on our headmates, innerworld experiences, and especially our fictives' pseudomemories. She'll post these stories here.

@gq-syskids "Kiddos in a Trenchcoat" This blog is collectively run by the Galactic Quilt System's SysKids. These are MINORS, so the blog is closely monitored by the system's internal parent, Fen.

@gq-therians "Tails 'n Paws" This blog is collectively run by the Galactic Quilt System's therian subsystem. Therians in this subsystem include a fox, bat, rabbit, otter, tanuki, wolf, raccoon, maine coon cat, possum, and ermine.

@gq-toybox "Quilted Toybox" This blog is collectively run by the Galactic Quilt System's soothers/companions who are living toys. It will include a lot of art and perhaps their thoughts on their roles.

@gq-triagetrio "Chronically Cute" This blog is run primarily by Chronic and will focus on disability and chronic illness content. The other members of the system's Triage Trio (Crescent, who handles acute body injuries, and Cupid, who handles acute body illnesses) may also post here.

@gq-vikki "Seaside Dreaming" Asiavik aka Vikki loves marine biology and blogs about all things life in and around the water. She's very autistic and marine biology is her special interest.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I'm not sure if you've already done recs for this before, but do you have any historical recs for older heroine/younger hero like in The Countess by Sophie Jordan (I read it based off your review and enjoyed it!) thanks :D

I can definitely offer some recs (and I'm glad you liked The Countess)!

Try:

The Return of The Duke by Lorraine Heath. The heroine is about 5 years older than the hero here--with the twist that she's his dead father's former mistress. (The hero is very mad and seeking her out because his father was executed for treason and stripped of his title, and he thinks she knows what really happened.) TW for discussions of past serious health issues that led to infertility.

Wake Me Most Wickedly by Felicia Grossman just came out! I think the hero is around 24/25 and the heroine is 30ish. He's a dandy from a wealthy family, she's a petty criminal, and she saves him from a mugging to kick it off. It's a Snow White retelling, great if you want a surly heroine and sunshiney hero.

The Dueling Duchess by Minerva Spencer. This heroine is a sharpshooter in a circus, and she's a few years older than the hero. They had a casual relationship, it ended angrily, and now he wants to like, declare his feelings and get her back. TW for Reign of Terror related trauma.

In Which Winnie Halifax is Utterly Ruined by Alexandra Vasti. I forget exactly how much older Winnie is than Spencer, but she's a few years ahead of him. He finds out she basically made up this husband with his name, but because there's actual documentation they're technically actually married, which is a problem for him.

Joss and The Countess by S.M. LaViolette. Alicia is 39 and Joss is 27; she's twice-widowed and looking for a good time, he's basically her bodyguard as she swans about town... until she realizes that HE could be that good time (he's a former sex worker and immediately knows what she's about lol). TW for discussions of past abuse, SA and otherwise, and stuff that happens off the page.

Melissa and The Vicar by S.M. LaViolette. Melissa is a madame who goes to a small seaside town for her health (she's very stressed and has what's implied to be a stomach ulcer). The hero is the big, virginal town vicar who's like... 25 to her 30ish, I think? TW for discussions of SA and past abuse in general as Melissa was sold into the trade at a very young age.

Waiting for a Scot Like You by Eva Leigh. The hero is a widow in her late forties who's going to attend this scandalous "party". Her bodyguard on her journey is a mid-thirties Scottish ex-soldier.

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt. Maybe my all-time favorite historical; Winter is a 26-year-old virgin/orphanage... master? He takes care like 30 orphans lol by day, and he fights crime in a mask by night (mostly saving kids). Isabel is a 32-year-old jaded widow. TW for discussions of past miscarriages and infertility.

Suddenly You by Lisa Kleypas has a heroine turning 30 and a hero who's a few years younger than her, but much more inexperienced (she basically pays for a sex worker to rid her of her virginity on her birthday, and the guy who shows up is actually a publisher trying to talk to her because she's a successful author... but he goes with it). TW for miscarriage.

[ladylooch]

Would you ever have your au’s (the kids of the ogs🤣) struggle with fertility and trying to have a baby like maybe even doing IVF. I think it would be an interesting but relatable topic and storyline. Maybe with lio and Sav since Sav is a little older so she would have kids later in life! Idk just a thought ☺️🤗

Tw: infertility

Ummmmmm I’m gonna let the cat outta the bag here because you literally guessed it, almost to a T.

Sav was told from a young age that getting pregnant or carrying to term was likely not in the cards for her. She was diagnosed at 21 with endometriosis and has had several issues over the span of her life. In addition to this, she has had poor health care experiences with doctors not listening to her, invalidating her pain, and not offering up new treatment ideas to explore to offer her relief. Because of this, she has awful periods. Horrible cramps, significant bleeding that leads to anemia, and spotting throughout the whole month. It’s awful. By the time she meets Lio, she has it somewhat under control. However it gets worse during her and Lio’s first official year together. Lio has to take care of Savannah a lot. She even ends up in the ER while they are on a team road trip.

Although they don’t go through the IVF process, it is something the two discuss. Ultimately, Sav doesn’t want to do it. She just wants to be at peace and pain free with her body. 🥺

[cordidy]

Hogwarts Legacy character's headcanon : Ominis Gaunt

TW : we enter the realm of the Gaunt so we'll be delving into some really dark shit. Abuse, SA, torture, you name it. If it's something you are not comfortable with it's OK but you should refrain from reading the first part of this headcanon.

Growing up / Hogwart days :

Before Ominis came 3 older Gaunt. Lucrecia, Malakai and Noctua.

True to the Gaunt tradition, Malakai, Ominis's father, married his older sister Lucrecia to keep the line. Thing is, inbreeding for generation is not the healthiest reproductive method and it ended up with Lucrecia being unable to produce a child.

With an infertile wife Malakai resorted to an old Gaunt tradition and "sollicited" Noctua's help, resulting in his sister birthing Malakai sole heir : Ominis. While Lucrecia and Malakai raised him, Noctua was bound to secrety by shame and an Unbreakable Vow.

Ominis's branch of the Gaunt is not the same as Marvolo's. They are, of course, related, but cousins.

For a while Malakai wanted to get ride of Ominis for being blind but due to the high probability his wife would not be able to give him any children he kept him.

His first words were in Parsletongue (as every Gaunt)

Growing up, Ominis was heavely watched over by the house staff, mainly as a way to please Lord and Lady Gaunt as he was the only heir. His only love came from Noctua who would give up her freedom to come live in the Manor just to see him (while unable to tell him their true relationship) and the snakes that lived around the Manor as it was kind of a safe haven for them.

Ominis's magic took a while to appear, leading his "parents" to think that not only was he blind but maybe also a squib...the Cruciatus event was a way to celebrate his magic showing up so it was the first spell he used using Lucrecia's wand and guidance. He was 10.

This is the only time Noctua stepped in, when Malakai cursed Ominis and she whopped her brother's ass, so far as using the cruciatus curse on him too as her Gaunt trait took over. Ominis had been terrified of her for weeks after that as she had sounded nothing like the loving and caring aunt he knew.

Hogwart days :

Packing for Hogwarts was terrifying for Ominis as it meant leaving the only place he knew. It was Hell yeah but it was familiar Hell and for an 11 blind boy it was better than anything. It also meant leaving Noctua.

He met the twins on the boat to the castle when he almost fell in the Lake while boarding (first time on a boat) and Anne grabbed him. She was the twin who adopted him the fastest cause Sebastian hated him at first ! (he was jealous HIS sister made another friend)

His got a Malfoy like sorting, the Hat barely touched his head that he ended up in Slytherin due to his ancestry and he had a hard time not crying when it happened. His only comfort was that Anne and her "dumb brother" were sent there too.

It did not take long for the other students to pick on him due to his blindness and shy nature and just like she did when kids would make fun of Seb for stattering, Anne broke a bunch of noses.

One evening, as Anne was in detention for defendin Ominis again, Sebastian lashed out at him and accused him of being bad influence on his sister. Instead of fighting back Ominis crawled into a ball and begged for forgiveness, like he used to when his parents would pass their nerves on him. That's when Seb realized something was really wrong and he ended up hugging a shaking Ominis. That's when they became friends. (Anne found out and kicked Seb's butt for being an ass !)

He would spent all his breaks at Hogwarts with the twins and tell them about his life at the manor so when the time came and the Sallow twins showed up Solomon did not really had a choice as the kids had "adopted" Ominis. His relations with Solomon were polite at first and, after a while, he was just another of his nephew.

After the events of HL, he went and told on Sebastian naively hoping the grown up would help his friend. He was aiming for Ste Mungos as Seb clearly had lost his marbles, not Azkaban. He would bear the guilt of being wrong till his last breath (wether Seb had a life long sentence or just some years)

He had to go back to the Manor and took it as punishment for not being able to save Seb. His parents took him back in more as a way to avoid the scandal of throwing out a blind 16 years old and made sure he knew they hated his guts.

With Anne cursed and Seb in jail for murder, he lost everything. Back at school the rumors were even louder and most people, including the Ministry thought he had something to do in Solomon's death. Some even assumed HE had taught Sebastian the killing curse, with being a Gaunt and all...

Adult life :

The day he turned 17, his parents arranged a marriage with a lowly Pureblood (he was blind and they were broke so no one of "value" wanted them) planning to have him married right after he graduated to get him out of the picture. If he was to be useless, at least he would give them proper heirs to raise.

He had no expectation when it came to his personnal life, instead focusing on his career as a public prosecutor for the Department of Justice in the Ministry.

He literally met his wife at the altar and at first relations between them were tensed as they both assumed the other was an ass raised as "proper" Pureblood but always polite abd civil as she did not seem to act like a threat. He refused to kiss her at the altar and to share a bedroom with her which she did not complain about.

Things changed when she took his defense. One night, while invited to a diner at his parent's his drunk father started to rant about his and how useless he was. He went as far as cruciating his son, only to end up Depulsoed against a wall. Ominis's wife had stepped in, informing that she would not tolerate her husband to be humiliated (and herself by extention) and that next time it would not be the wall but the window. Malakai tried to fight back but Ominis, still shocked she of all people would step up, intervened and fought back for the first time in 25 years, breaking his father's wand. The couple never set foot in the Manor again and Ominis ended up disowed a few weeks later. He litteraly jumped on her the moment they were home and they spent the night kissing and hugging innocently (cause he is a gentleman !).

They tried but never had kids as Ominis could not (inbreeding). He himself never really wanted kids still he blamed himself for inflicting this pain on his wife who wanted some.

One day he got a letter from a little girl informing him her mother had passed. Before her death, the woman had told her daughter, should she ever need anything, to write to a man named Ominis Gaunt. Turned out, after leaving Anne managed to live a rather normal life, Rockwood's curse slowly vanishing after his death. She got pregnant and had a daughter as a single mother. This is how Lucy Sallow entered Ominis's life. The day after the letter they were on Lucy's doorstep.

Ominis and his wife raised the girl like their own, even thou she was a squib and he cryed like a big baby the day his little girl got married for love. That night, during the party he asked his wife in marriage. He knew it sounded stupid as they were already married for years but he wanted to do it properly this time and he was a blushing mess when he knelt in front of his wife, stattering as he was afraid she would say no since she had a choice this time. They renewed their vows a few weeks after. This time he kissed her at the altar.

Ominis Gaunt died of old age, surrounded by his wife, his daughter Lucy and his 6 grand children. He bore the guilt of what happened when he was 15 to the end thou and his last thought went to Sebastian. He would remained in the books for his work and how he changed the way underaged witch and wizards were prosecuted when commiting a crime. Thanks to his dedication, young witches and wizards are not prosecuted like adult anymore and can't face a life time sentence in Azkaban (his work later applied to a young Rubeus Hagrid...)

[offtorivendell]

On Elain, Gwyn and their apparent romantic worthiness.

TW: mentions of death, violent or sexual assault, infertility and pregnancy/childbirth related trauma. Please do not proceed if these topics bother you.

Disclaimer: please, please engage with this post with kindness. I promise I am not writing it to stir the pot, but because I - and many others - are fed up with seeing hurtful and harmful rhetoric spewed by the fandom, yet having no back up when dealing with it. Word vomit incoming, I'm sorry. This has been bothering me for a while.

My love to everyone who has been hurt by things they've read in this fandom. 💜

It's 2024 and I cannot believe we are still seeing posts, almost daily, about both of these women; all giving reasons why they cannot possibly be with Azriel. And I don't mean the debatable but utterly harmless discussions about Elain not looking good in black or Gwyn blabbing to Merrill when asked not to. Whatever, go nuts. I mean the truly horrific takes based around things these two women have had no control.

Now, my post history makes it very obvious where I stand in terms of ships, and yes, I'm well aware I've spoken before about the inherent power imbalance - that I perceive - which would exist if Azriel ever became involved with any of the priestesses in the women's shelter he is charged with protecting (to be clear, that's not me suggesting that Gwyn and her story isn't powerful, or powerful representation to those who see themselves in her, nor is it personal to Gwyn, or indicative of any of the sheltered priestesses and their ability to heal; it's purely a function of Azriel's position of authority over their sanctuary). I want to reiterate that my stating my feelings about this was never done with the intent to shame people who do ship them; we all ship who we like, and real world ethics should rarely come into it.

That being said, the following, in my opinion, is one of those times.

Firstly, I just want to say that lived experience informs how we interpret fiction, so please let me clarify something: the people who have said that they don't think Gwyn is ready for a relationship yet, and that NSFW fan art of her with anyone makes them uncomfortable, are not in any way in the wrong. They're simply the other side of the coin to those who find it empowering, and both are valid responses, often related to personal trauma. The problem lies with those very few who say that Gwyn could never have a romantic relationship, and call those who talk and/or post about it "gross." Some have called her "damaged goods." This is absolutely wrong and whoever is doing it needs to stop.

The entire fandom, even those who find romantic or NSFW content involving Gwyn uncomfortable to consume, frequently acknowledges that her trauma doesn't define her, and of course she should be able to enjoy love whenever she feels ready for it. Those who say otherwise are readily condemned from all corners. I've seen it happen and called the people out myself, as have many other Elriel shippers when necessary. However, Elriels are still very regularly and very publicly blamed for the actions of a few (some of whom I truly believe are burner accounts wanting to cause chaos, with their Elriel themed usernames and no post history), despite our largely collective action to call them out when we see it.

Could we do better? Absolutely, but so can you!

Because, on the other hand, I've noticed that, whenever I or others have tried to explain why the pliable bones "theory" - which attempts to reason that Elain could never be endgame with Azriel, as she and any baby would die during the course of pregnancy or childbirth - is equally as harmful, we are met with people publicly and wholeheartedly refusing to understand why (especially recently). Some horrific comments have been made to my friends, not to mention all of those I see well after the fact, which are never widely condemned by any but us. People will argue back that we're wrong, and have even suggested we're weaponising infertility! On Mothers' Day, of all the fucking painful days to say that.

Some of the push back I've seen recently includes:

"Nobody has said Elain is infertile."

No, nobody has, and that's not what we're saying or have ever said. We know you don't think this, as the Elucien fandom loves to write and draw Elain and Lucien's hypothetical future children (which is super understandable, as this is a romantasy fandom after all - no shame, enjoy your warm fuzzies).

What we are saying is that, if it's true that Elain's anatomy wasn't changed as Feyre and Nesta's was - and to be clear I cannot stand that entire plot, I wish SJM had chosen literally any other reason why Feyre's pregnancy was dangerous, as it is simultaneously degrading and doesn't fit with her previously established lore - then Elain and Azriel, together^, would be functionally infertile. Yet it's only ever framed as Elain's body not being able to work with Azriel's, never the other way around.*

^Why didn't the bat boys have to sacrifice their wings to keep their wives/mates safe? Why did the women have to change their anatomy? Because it would make it harder for them to be all powerful? Well Nesta sacrificed her powers! Why not just have Feyre be cursed by an enemy or something, and Nesta found a way to use the Dread Trove to save them all. Ugh. I love SJM's books, but this was such a miss.

*HOSAB/HOFAS SPOILER: funnily enough, this was never said about Ruhn and his eventual mate, even though he actually did think he may be unable to father children, thanks to the Oracle's prophecy. People shipped the hell out of him and a couple of different women throughout the CC series, despite the chance he could never get them pregnant.

"People haven't called Elain damaged goods, so it's not the same. We're allowed to not like her."

My faerie porn* lover in christ, what the fuck do you think the pliable bones "theory" is actually doing? It is suggesting that Elain's hypothetical inability to survive having children with Azriel, and for those children to also survive childbirth, is impaired. Ergo, she's damaged.

We don't care if you don't like Elain, we're allowed to have different preferences in characters and ships. That has never been the problem.

*I use this term with affection as a great lover of the genre.

But "damaged" vs a functionally "impaired" uterus? It's the same damn thing, and sorry, it's misogynistic af, not to mention ableist and homophobic at a minimum. In the same breath you are also reducing your favourite to her apparently functional uterus (even though the pliable bones argument is medically inaccurate, by the way - this is really damning of the state of health education across so many countries).

"Hahaha/lol."

Yes, I have seen people laugh and treat this as a joke. As recently as tonight, in fact. It's disgusting.

Regardless of your lived experiences and shipping preferences, both of these takes about Elain and Gwyn are equally degrading and horrific and need to stop, but if you're only calling out the comments that hurt you/your friends/your ship and not the others, then you should maybe attempt some basic self reflection and analyse those double standards you're carrying.

This entire fandom needs to do better. I'll say again, for the umpteenth time, to any of my fellow Elriels that if you think mocking Gwyn's past is funny, then you're not mature enough to read an adult series. But this works both ways, and if you think mocking infertility is funny/use it as a win, then you're just as immature. I would really and truly appreciate it if we were not left alone to argue over and over again why discriminating against someone who couldn't "have a man's children" is wrong, and why many, many people in this adult fandom - that is largely comprised of women! - might find such a theory, and the resulting discourse, incredibly upsetting.

Infertility hurts; not having a kid when you want one can be viscerally painful. Besides that, I know very few people who have given birth who don't carry around some sort of emotional or physical trauma from doing so. Treating a character's hypothetical infertility with one man as a joke is gross.

Please don't call Gwyn "damaged goods" or suggest that Azriel would choose somebody else over Elain because she couldn't have his kids.

They are the same thing.

It's not hard to be kind. Pain is not a competition.

We should all do better, and take care of each other.

[gwendolynwcde]

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 / 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

Name: Gwendolyn Wade

Faceclaim: Gemma Chan

Gender & Pronouns: Cis Woman & She/her

Age: 41

Birthday: January 11

Occupation: Chief of Police

Neighborhood: Carriage Falls

Does your character have a secret? Her role of Chief of Police was bought out by the Wade Family as a cover up from her resignation with the FBI

Would you be willing to have this secret used against them at some point in the future? Yes

𝐈. 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

TW: ADOPTION, INFERTILITY, DIVORCE 

The Wades were one of Wilmington’s founding families who’s history consisted of settlers, war veterans, and played an overall role in the development of the port city. Fast forward to many centuries later, Alanna and Jeremy Wade continued to carry out the reputation through eight of their adoptive children. Being one of the first, Gwendolyn had no recollection of her origin story as she was taken in at only 6 months old. There was no use in going back since she owed it all to them for giving her a second chance as they paved the way for new beginnings, opportunity and growth. What more could one ask for? Once you were a Wade, you were considered set for life. 

Or at least that’s what the average Wilmington citizen would have thought. The Wades had a reputation to uphold, which meant no room for failure. All eight were known to be walking-talking trophies, each excelling in their own way and paving a never-ending legacy. For Gwendolyn Wade, it was a tough pill to swallow and it reflected as she got older. Although she was one of the first to inherit the Wade name, she was also the first to leave and pursue a career in law enforcement outside of Wilmington. 

While her parents respected her decision as it aligned with their expectations, Gwen took it as an opportunity to not only set a boundary, but to gain a sense of independence and a break from the Wade name. She grew to become a high-ranking FBI agent known to take down notorious crime syndicates in the country. Being at the peak of her career, Gwendolyn was also married and was set to start a family of her own in hopes of eventually settling down. However, if there was one thing that the eldest Wade should have known, it was that everything came with a price. Being bounded and defined by her career meant putting off the idea of having a family, this caused a strain on her relationship—how long can one wait for the other to follow through? Who makes the sacrifice? It also didn’t help that Gwendolyn was in denial as she could feel herself fall out of love with her job. 

Her breaking point was after a personal doctor’s visit where she learned that she was infertile. Gwendolyn was too late and was made to blame for the end of her marriage. During her divorce, she devoted herself to her work as a means to not only distract, but to pay tribute to the only constant in her life that ended up being a double edged sword. All it took was one final case for her to decide to return to Wilmington. The case in question was mob related, where it involved an innocent man taking the fall for a crime he did not commit. Consider it her last hurrah to bring forth justice and in doing so, she was able to take down the mob from the inside all thanks to the daughter of the innocent man. Gwendolyn knew that with every cause, there was an effect and as much as they gained a forbidden friendship, it did not mean that they were in the clear. Just because one empire falls, doesn’t mean that another would rise. ‘What was the point?’ It was a question that constantly loomed in Gwendolyn's mind and it was there where she realized that she would always have a target on her back if she kept this lifestyle up. 

Although it was expected that she’d retire from the Bureau, she resigned with no rhyme or reason and that caught wind in her family’s direction. Gwendolyn Wade and ‘giving up’ were complete dichotomies that were far from equal. As they say, once you were a Wade, you were considered set for life. And it was true, because the moment that Gwen had returned to Wilmington, they immediately bought out her role as Chief of Police to cover up her resignation from the Federal Bureau. It was a compromise, despite her not being proud of it, but she knew the importance of her family’s reputation, the power that they hold and that failure was not an option. She owed them her life and so, this was a lifelong commitment. 

Currently, Gwendolyn has been in her role as Chief of Police for two years and to her luck, she now has to deal with the chaos that ensues as Wilmington's past begins to not only unravel, but impact its current events. She continues to serve and protect the community to the best of her and her staff’s capabilities and continues to uphold a justly façade despite it all being a ruse.

𝐈𝐈. 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

TW: GUN MENTION, DIVORCE, INFERTILITY

TIMELINE: A Wilmington native, Gwen left after high school to pursue her undergrad in psychology and minor in criminal law, worked her way into the FBI, only visited Wilmington during major events/holidays and moved back two years ago

LAST MISSION: She was last based in New York before returning to Wilmington

INTERESTS: Has a collection of weaponry from knives, kitanas, guns and excels in them, her combat physical hobbies include fencing, muay thai, and boxing 

Gwendolyn is a polygot with the ability to speak over 5 languages. She has studied latin, but doesn’t add it to the roster as it is not a spoken language.

HOBBIES: Horseback riding, archery, weaponry/sparring, travelling, shopping, journaling, people watching

Out of all the 8 children in the Wade family, she's known to be one of the most difficult 'golden child'. Gwen has an attitude, a tendency to rebel and challenges the status quo within the family—yet she meets the Wade criteria for being one of their very own prodigy.

She regrets how she handled her divorce, but with her infertility and existential crisis, both her and her ex-husband had a messy fall out and had not spoken to each other since they signed the papers

IMPOSTER SYNDROME: A TIRED WORKAHOLIC™ - She was a high ranking official in the Bureau and currently the Chief of Police, there's NO room for exhaustion. (she deadass needs a consistent therapy schedule)

[themonotony]

“you want kids you have always wanted kids ever since you were a kid. and i can't have them. [i know.] whatever they did to me at demon's run, i can't ever give you children. i didn't kick you out. i gave you up. don't you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box because that is nothing, rory nothing, compared to giving you up.”

this was...