#tw jesus idk
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when lamb!reader had suggested a video call with jj instead of hanging out at her house, it felt simply preventative. she’d been having urges lately, feelings — ones she’s not used to feeling. sometimes when she was around jj, it was like her body had a brain of its own. an unholy and disgraceful brain that went against what she thought she was wishing. she was beginning to believe if they were to hang out in person one on one, she might act out of impulse to sate the desire that had built inside her.
you’d been feeling this way since he’d gifted you that stuffed lamb. he was technically just a friend, no different from the other pogues you’d been hanging out with since trying to find your feet in the obx — but there was a different sort of simmering tension you felt with him and only him. what started as annoying teasing and jabs became warm fluttering in your stomach and unholy thoughts about his hands and mouth. it was like he knew it too, jj always seemed to have this look in his eye, a curl to the corner of his mouth — like there was something about you on the tip of his tongue that he was withholding. it made you want to set yourself alight.
as the call sound rings on your screen, you ponder why you’d made your hair all pretty, and why you’d chosen your best white nightgown. it felt and looked innocent at best, but as much as you’d hate to admit it — the fact there was nothing beneath gave you a rush like no other.
your thoughts were interrupted by his handsome face on your screen.
“fancy seeing you here, lamb chop.” he smirks, that same knowing look in his eye that he always had. without thinking you fiddle with your cross necklace.
“didnt i tell you to stop calling me that?” you respond, feeling as though you hid the hitch in your throat pretty well.
“and why would i listen to you?” he jokes, shuffling in his desk chair — bedroom a mess in his background. you’re about to comment on it, tell him to tidy it on instinct to nag him but he speaks first. “lookin’ real good tonight. you get all pretty for me?”
something about the way he asks that sends heat to your lower regions, something that felt forbidden and wrong and yet addicting.
“i’m just wearing what i sleep in. i figured id check in with you before i get some rest.” it’s an attempt at sounding casual, something you’d clearly applied much time and thought to.
“you wear that to sleep? pan down for me real quick?” you hear him shuffle closer to the screen like he was really trying to get a good look, and without thinking you obey — showing him the white lace of your night gown, from the straps to the way it falls on your upper thigh. he chuckles with a quiet “mm.” sound, and you’re panning back to your face quickly — glancing subconsciously at the door, wondering what your mother might say if she saw you showing your night gown to a boy.
“thats real pretty lil lamb. like you.” you hate how smooth he was, how every compliment had heat rushing to your centre.
“no need to flatter me.” you shrug a shoulder, and he doesn’t miss the way your tits jostle a little at the movement. he even leans on his elbows at his desk, eyes pointed downward unabashedly.
“right, right so… little limbrey… talk me through your night time routine. i wanna step into your shoes for a lil bit.” he settles, always insanely good at making conversation from nothing. you purse your lips in thought, looking around your room.
“well… i showered, changed, and usually before bed i do something stimulating but relaxing to get me ready to sleep and tire me out.” you list, staring at the book going unread on your bedside table. he huffs a laugh through a smirk and his brows shoot up.
“oh yeah? you stimulate yourself? tell me more ‘bout that.” he jokes and you furrow your brows, adorably in his opinion.
“what do you mean?” you question and jj licks his lips, trying to hold himself back from laughing anymore but failing miserably.
“ah, i’m just playin’ with you babydoll— carry on.” he waves a hand but you’re curious now. perhaps you sensed there was some innuendo behind it, but you pushed anyway— your inner excitement getting the better of you. you shift on your bed to lay on your side, getting more comfortable.
“i wanna laugh too, tell me what it means?” you pout grumpily which makes him relent instantly.
“nah… i was just makin’ a joke about… you know… you playin’ with yourself. ‘lotta people do that before they sleep.” he dismisses, and usually you’d scold him or make a face — but tonight, you’re not sure what possesses you — you ask,
“do you?”
jj blinks in surprise at the question for a second.
“do…uh, well,” he coughs awkwardly and you already regret asking. you cast your eyes downwards. “yeah, i do. you don’t ever… indulge?”
you’re quick to shake your head, though you’re lying. you’ve tried a few times.
“its a sin.” the words are instinctual when they leave you, and it only deepens jj’s amused expression that forms once more across his handsome features.
“yeah uh, no shit honey. you gotta release sometimes though right? s’better that way… keeps the sinful activities at bay so you don’t go out n’make bad choices. preventative procedures n’all that shit.” he converses, scratching his temple — a habit you’d pick up on when he’s a tad nervous or apprehensive.
you’d never thought of it that way before, so you take a moment to stare into space — a rush of relief coming over you. he was right. it had to be better than going and sleeping around, surely.
“wow, that’s… uncharacteristically insightful.”
“i’on know what that means—”
“you’re right. i don’t feel so bad anymore.” you chime, looking rather elated. his smile returns and he tilts his head.
“yeah? so you do indulge?” he drags it out, like he wants to tease you but he doesn’t wanna push too hard and shut you down again. you bite your lip, mulling over his question.
“m’not great at it, but yes.” you try to remain prideful, sticking your nose up a little.
“comes with practice i guess. i’mma beat around the bush here — i’d say i know my way around lady parts pretty good so like, if you ever need any pointers… on how to… y’know, suppress your urges… i got’chu.” he tries to sound nonchalant, careful, even shrugs for added effect. what he doesn’t see, is your hand reaching blindly to your bedside table and turning the framed image of Jesus to be face down.
twenty minutes later, and you’re hot in the face with your back propped up against a load of frilly, fluffed pillows. the laptop sits between your spread legs, displaying your open glossy cunt centre screen, your fingers stroking circles over your throbbing bud as you try to suppress your whimpers.
“uh-huh, juuuuuust like that. you wanna try rubbin’ it up and down? or do you wanna stick to the whole circle thing.” beneath his desk, jj slowly rolls his fist over his cock. he felt kinda weird about it, but he didn’t wanna alert you to the fact he was helping himself too— thinking it might freak you out and make you call it a night.
“‘like it like this!” you squeak, being mindful of your volume. you knew the pain meds had likely knocked your mother out clean by now, but you could never be too careful. you buck your hips against your hand, and even through the quality of the video call jj can see the arousal pooling between your spread legs. you had no idea how needy you could be.
“god damn, mama— you needed this, huh?” he chuckles, but it’s kind and he’s not teasing, infact there’s a softness to it. an affection.
“mhmmm.” you release in a whine, and jj is thrilled. he loved that he got you like this, letting go of all your beliefs for a while, forgetting it all because your head is so hazy with pleasure.
“keep rubbing just like that, yeah? just like i’d do it.” he mutters the last part, but he knows you hear it when your eyes flutter open, hand slowing. shit. he didn’t want you to come to your senses about just how sinful this whole thing was— he was barely teaching anymore, more so talking you through it.
his eyes widen a tad and his own hand freezes. “shit, uh— sorry ‘bout that. that’s my bad, i got carried away.”
in a whisper, with furrowed brows like it pained your very being to ask, you come forth with “keep talking like that.”
it stuns him for a few second, and his thumb swipes over his tip again. “wait… for real?”
“unfortunately it’s…mmph— it’s the only thing that’s gonna get me there. i’m tired, jj… i just wanna… i wanna—”
“cum?” he tries to stop the grin by pressing his tongue to the corner of his mouth, and his expression softens when he sees the way you melt, more arousal dribbling from you.
“yeah.” you groan, causing jj to pout in faux sympathy.
“yeah? i got you mama. keep strokin’ that pretty thing. i’mma tell you right now, you’re missin’ out on this tongue. i could make you feel things you never thought you could feel. would make you cream so hard you’d have tears down them pretty cheeks. that what you wanna hear, lil lamb?”
“oh… oh god!” your toes clench, everything clenches.
“nah baby, it ain’t god. s’just me.”
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on my raphie "human" shield agenda again
ERR URR urr eehh context
lizzie's comments make me crylaugh
#he ate shit fr fr#like. jesus#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#nordidia art#my art#idk what to tag my art anym0ore#tw blood
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only had time for one @d20zinejam this year, here's my piece for the Mirror Image Zine! 🎨🖼️🪞
The Dream Team guys re-imagined as Caravaggio's Incredulity of St. Thomas
#D20 zine jam 2024#the unsleeping city#d20 tuc#pete the plug#kingston brown#ricky matsui#kugrash#caravaggio#bare chest tw#so the original is st thomas poking around a stab wound in jesus' side#and idk it looks a lot like a top surgery scar#that was basically all my thinking for this 😭😭😭#i also just really wanted to do a caravaggio copy
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(tw for violence/death in this post; it’s about horror movies but g/t)
im in my Horror Movie era and like. i keep thinking how terrifying would a g/t horror movie be. a tiny protagonist in an oversized world could be so so scary. bugs, animals, unaware humans, even things just like struggling to get consistent meals or finding somewhere genuinely safe enough to rest. you could go psychological thriller about a recently shrunk person struggling to cope. you could have a slasher flick where the slasher is just an unaware giant.
i want Midsommar but it’s a borrower joining a fairy cult. i want Saw where it’s a borrower making traps for humans because they just hate giants. i want Hereditary with the added struggle of a mixed size family dynamic. i want whatever batshit original concepts A24 could do with a g/t dynamic
anyways i think there’s a huge potential for size horror and man. a movie like that would terrify me
#g/t#violence tw#ig? i am being so careful rn i know this a lot of ppls cup of tea#also discresion advised for these following tags#but like. have yall seen Nope. do u know THAT scene from Nope#i dont want to spoil anything but. the vore scene#i was so fucking viscerally uncomfortable when i saw that and i love it#like i love vore! but jesus fucking christ. holy shit. that scene made me realize how scary a gt size story could be#im watching a lot of horror lately and none of them r like. rlly scaring me#idk why i like to be scared so much. catharsis ig. i wanna be terrified
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kuras and religious guilt are so intimately intertwined, like is it truly a sin to love humankind more than your God Father? would some not see these imperfect beings as an extension of Him? have the most beloved sons of God always been doomed to be forsaken by their Father for their endless love and mercy of humans? does their Father ever miss them?
#tw religious talks idk#kuras jesus parallels my beloved#why does this sound so unserious#kuras#touchstarved
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Idk anything about postal but they would fuck shit up together 🔥‼‼
More lil doodles below 👀
#what have i done#my art#afraid of monsters#cry of fear#cof#postal#postal dude#doodle#fanart#idk how to feel abt the first one but uhhdgdh ajHHh#i struggled so much with the background jesus fuckk#tw blood#eye strain#tw gore#cuz of the eye
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ANOTHER GORETOBER FOR YALL!!! I kinda like how this one came out!
The prompt it transformation!
#artists on tumblr#digital aritst#oc artist#digital drawing#oc artwork#iolites ocs#tw g0re#tw gore#YIPPIE#Im not that good at gore but like#this one isnt bad!#i was considering censoring it but idk#ive seen most others without censors so whatever#im going with the flow#probably my favorite so far#really digging the pose#thank jesus for posing apps fr#couldn’t have done this without it
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"We're doomed because gay people can't reproduce."
You might need to sit down for this one. Lesbians actually can reproduce because of a lil thing we call SP3RM DONERS.
So if all the men are taken by men and all the women are taken by women, and so on and so forth, we aren't doomed. Stop being dramatic, not everyone's gonna be gay anyways. And if you're gonna be homophobic, either study biology for 0.2 seconds or do a Google search... dumbass...
#⛓️┈┈┈•༶ talking#i see this argument so much.#jesus fuck its such basic biology im not ok#(if you weren't aware of this thats fine. this is ONLY directed at homophobes. which i doubt any of you are)#cw pregnancy#cw nsft#cw gross#(idk what cws to add lmao#)#cw homophobia#tw homophobia
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what the fuck did i just do
#idk#im just a girl#girl interupted syndrome#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#mentally fucked#minor#self destructive tendencies#tw sh destructive behaviour#what the fuck#oh my god#why#im dying#im in a mood#jesus christ
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you ever scroll past some sort of discourse that you didn't even know existed, and you have to take a second and realize that, while none of us are superior to others, some of us ARE much better at choosing which dumbass hills to die on? because I think sometimes you deserve to go 'huh. at least I'm not getting involved in all that'.
#well idk i'm still wasting time typing this out but that's marginally less embarrassing as an outsider than the people arguing about it#tw abuse mention in tags#so APPARENTLY!!!#enneagram mbti people are complaining about enneagram 7s being predisposed to being manipulative (?)#someone's like 'my sister was a 7w8 and neglects her kids' like jesus christ i don't think her enneagram is why she does that?#saying this as someone who LOOSELY AND UNSERIOUSLY enjoys mbti/zodiac/boxes to put my blorbos into:#these people are just doing the zodiac but for people who think they can armchair diagnose others they dislike with cluster b disorders#like congrats you made it worse and combined it with pseudopsychology to make some hellish ableism amalgamation#and it was already stupid to begin with but man you really took it up to 100#like we do realize that this is all fake. right. this isn't an actual psychological profile.#and taking it seriously has worrying implications? and you cannot judge someone based on anything but their behavior?#like again i get having fun with these things as little categories. my autistic ass loves sorting things into categories.#i will give my blorbos full star charts for 6 hours. yay categories.#but with the caveat that it's unserious and for funsies and not at all an actual representation of any human being?#like when i say 'i'm such a taurus lol' or whatever i'm not actually under the impression that it dictates my actual personality?#it's all confirmation bias anyways. people see what they want out of this kind of thing#like yeah i'm kinda lazy and i like food and self indulgence but. that's probably like half of the. idk. virgo population or whatever too#i think those are just things that most human people enjoy unless you're one of those super ambitious go-getters who never slows down#same goes for every other trait. curiosity? emotion? stubbornness? logic? those are just things that most people have in some capacity
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To be honest your daughter has seen her parents go thru the outmost of shit and now her wondering why she avoids everything out of anxiety plus she is a person suffering from FROM UNDIAGNOSED depression, ocd and adhd and ur wondering why she hasn’t harnessed her 20 something power ITS BECAUSE I HAVE OBSTICLES IN MY WAY MARY!!! IF I COULD BE LIKE THE DOMINANT NARRATIVE AND JUST BE STUPID AND HAPPY IN MY 20s I FUCKING WOULD!!!!
#yelling tw#caps tw#caps ::#caps //#vent post tw#mental illness mention tw#Jesus Christ maybe u should be supporting ur daughter instead of judging her#or not saying anything at all#maybe u should just keep ur mouth closed#man#uugghhhhhhh#I’m not wasting my life I’m fuxkinf scared this is a difference and u should be more kind about it#idk what else to tag ffs
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everyone and their mom has made this joke but I was talking with @marinerainbow and I do like to think this is what Jesus is looking like watching everything happen
#jesus#christ#jesus christ#bibical#tw bibical#bible#tw bible#christianity#tw christianity#I want to clarify i'm a christian it's just funny to me klJSDF#god#tw god#religion#tw religion#I'm trying to put all the tags idk
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#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#barton whenever ANYONE he's romantically interested in sees him in his mask for the first time with his hair matted and he's actively-#spiraling 💀 JSJSJ like he really would be thinking 'well i mean... i can still cook amazing thing's + be supportive towards you my dear-#and isn't that the MOST important thing?' while he's vivisecting someone on his table in front of them with blood all over his hands-#and looking at this person like ' :D ' like EHHH idk barton. a majority of people might as he would call it find that... 'disagreeable' 🫠#(aka they are at least signing you up for therapy rn bc jesus christ why are you looking at them like that right now when you have#a whole freaking freezer full of unexplainable horrors that some people have been unfortunate enough to stumble upon AHHH)#man's is SO wack y'all and for what reasonnn#tw: mentions of vivisection.#tw: allusions to murder.
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have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse
#personal#vent#suicide mention tw#i need to call her. last time we talked she said she was going to kill herself if she got incarcerated again#i love her. nothing makes me more angry at so many systems than trying to do suicide support with my friends who are locked up#trying to do this shit over the phone with people listening in. trying to figure out what meaningful support we can even give#because when she says that death is better than months of solitary i know exactly how she feels and what she means and i cannot fucking#most of the skills mainstream peer support has ever taught me are useless in that situation and my best is not enough#there are so many places that need to be burnt down.#there are so many people i love who are not out and it starts to kill me a little bit#and cops are starting to fuck with us here more. i've gotten bruised up a couple times from being shoved around#nothing too bad yet but just#jesus christ#sorry for coming on here to vent all the time but my offline life is a little crazy at the moment and half this shit i can't talk about irl#i honestly think i need to like. start learning how to fight properly again. bc i have so much anger right now#and learning how to actually fight sounds like a better idea then fucking off and getting into random fights like i used to#idk. will look into it
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Doing research for my presentation, translating the weirdest niche stuff. Like "FDA approval" and various types of opioids/opium-based medications and drugs. Well, some time in I realise that I've said the word opioids like ten times in a row constantly before. Turns out I did a really similar presentation three years ago. (Not similar enough to copy, but, y'know.) Guess sometimes you just return to certain topics.
#the topic is drug abuse especially if caused by dependency on prescribed medicine#be it the many causes of medicine addiction and how it works#or the opioid epidemic (FUCK the sacklers on that note bc what the FUCK)#its an interesting topic#and an infuriating one. and scary. :')#on the plus side i can start with playing a line from a punk song so theres that#i just realised i could have gone with two songs...... theres one literally called the opioid diaries.......#a pretty new one at that#this fuckin thing is going on for so long and its not getting better jesus christ#tw drugs#i guess idk#a biscuit's rambles
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skipped class because i literally watched someone get ripped up by a bus today
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