#i was so fucking viscerally uncomfortable when i saw that and i love it

[so-very-small]

(tw for violence/death in this post; it’s about horror movies but g/t)

im in my Horror Movie era and like. i keep thinking how terrifying would a g/t horror movie be. a tiny protagonist in an oversized world could be so so scary. bugs, animals, unaware humans, even things just like struggling to get consistent meals or finding somewhere genuinely safe enough to rest. you could go psychological thriller about a recently shrunk person struggling to cope. you could have a slasher flick where the slasher is just an unaware giant.

i want Midsommar but it’s a borrower joining a fairy cult. i want Saw where it’s a borrower making traps for humans because they just hate giants. i want Hereditary with the added struggle of a mixed size family dynamic. i want whatever batshit original concepts A24 could do with a g/t dynamic

anyways i think there’s a huge potential for size horror and man. a movie like that would terrify me

[universalthaumaturge]

ok i get why anthy has creature of delirium now

[star-anise]

So, Easy Beauty by Chloé Cooper-Jones is not by any means a straightforward tale of the specific traumas and experiences of being a disabled woman. In many ways, it's an examination of how holding onto those traumas too tightly can keep you not just from positive chances for connection and experience, but understanding when your choices and behaviours are hurting other people.

But. It does talk about the trauma. And specifically, this splinter I've spent months now slowly drawing out of my soul, because this never happened to me except for the version of it that did happen to me. In her case, it was a conversation with a friend in high school:

I approached him in the library of our school. He was studying for a geometry test. He saw me, closed his notebook, and smiled. “I feel like,” he said, teasing me, “there might be something you want to talk to me about.” I told him yes, there was, and I said that I wanted to go to the homecoming dance with him and would he take me. “Of course,” he said. Relief flooded through me so quickly it turned my stomach. “But,” he continued, “there’s something very important I need to talk to you about first.” He proceeded to tell me that our female friends had been pressuring him for weeks to ask me to the dance, not wanting me to feel left out. “They love you,” he said, “but they pity you and their pity won't help you in the world.” I can, to this day, recall the exact even tone in his voice, his smile. He reached across the table and took my hand. “I want to tell you something as your friend,” he said. “I want to protect you. When you ask a man like me on a date, you put us in a bad position.” He was still smiling; I was having a cute delusion and was in need of his loving, if uncomfortable, correction. “It’s just the truth,” Jim said. “No man will want to date you unless he, too, is desperate or ugly.”

What I've felt, since I was very young, was this sense not just that no one would ever love me, but that I was so pitiful, so unlovable, such a complete failure of femininity, that expressing interest in another person was tantamount to forcing them to pity-fuck me. And how could I do something that horrible to them?

Well, at least in the years since then, I've learned that actually people feel no compunction about rejecting me!

I have almost always felt like such a complete failure at femininity, to the point that discussions about the female experience feel hypnotically surreal, because these things never happen to me. Y'all get catcalled and hit on? I'm struggling to dredge up memories of experiencing that firsthand. I grew up with grownups always warning me about men who'd want me for sex but didn't actually love me, and now I'm like... being wanted for sex? What's that like? I have literally ten seconds of experience of my desire for someone else being something that excited and interested them.

This is my own personal neurosis, not a prescription for widespread behaviour. But I've always kind of hated when people talk about slowburn romances and stories with pining as "two idiots in love" because on a visceral level, it doesn't feel stupid to me to believe you're repulsive and nobody will ever want you. It has always felt like the natural and obvious conclusion to enter adulthood with.

Up until two weeks ago I've always been very careful to describe my feelings about my body as part of me being crazy--I hate the way I look, I don't like seeing or hearing recordings of myself, I think I'm not pretty. Because obviously that means I'm actively working to rid myself of those emotions and attitudes! I've got it handled! I've admitted that I have a problem!

And that's because I always had it locked away in my heart that if I tried to make a factual claim about being ugly, people would say "No you're not!" just to make me feel better, and then I would never ever know if anyone who found me attractive really meant it, or if they were just doing it out of pity.

That is crazy. That's holding onto the lesson of that fucking shitbag who found Chloé attractive and fuckable two months fucking later once he got over himself. That's sitting around waiting for someone to come climb up into my unfuckable tower and do all the work of establishing a relationship themselves. That's lesbian sheep behaviour.

It's only just begun to feel possible that I could begin to take steps to seek people out and express interest in them, instead of holding perfectly still and making someone else do all the heavy lifting to get to me, when I haven't even made it known I wanted them to.

But this doesn't get talked about as part of "the female experience". When men talk about women's experiences in the dating market, they absolutely never mean women like me. Why bother with the experiences of women they wouldn't want to fuck anyway? It's not like we're people or some shit like that.

[drefear]

Sister's Mister

Summary: You and your sister are having issues now that Miguel and her are official. Your friends have some opinions, and things finally get heated.

TW: drinking, heartbreak, cheating, family issues.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

Peter had begun bringing Miguel around more and more, to whom the only person who seemed to dislike this was Miles, but they didn’t interact much. Miles always just kept Gwen close by when Miguel was around, not trusting him around his girlfriend. 

Something about Miguel made MIles uncomfortable, and he tried to tell both you and your sister, but it was no use. Your sister was in love, and you were too visceral to everything now to even comprehend what he was saying. The situation had made you into a shell of who you were. 

One person who found this all very entertaining?

Hobie Fucking Brown. 

Hobie saw you in that nightclub and knew you were the one Miguel had mumbled to him about a few times while he was drunk. Hobie and Peter took Miguel, Jess, and Lyla out a few times since they’d all become friends freshman year and got them all drunk. 

But in the recent few months since Miguel’s summer classes started, he would mumble about some girl under his breath when he was drunk, talk about her like she was a figment of his imagination. 

When Hobie saw you sitting alone in the nightclub, sipping your drink and awkwardly looking around as if searching for an escape route, he knew you were the one Miguel was fixated on. But the poor big bastard was too busy grinding on a girl who could be mistaken for a hooker, so much caked on lipstick and ass almost hanging out. 

Chaos was Hobie’s specialty and when he started dancing with you, he saw a crimson fire burn in Miguel’s eyes. Over your shoulder, he kept winking at the larger of the two, seeing something itch Miguel on the inside of his throat, giving Hobie the idea that he was in for it once they spoke again. 

And then the floozy was dragging Miguel over to you and Hobbie, and this made the alternative boy smile. How perfectly everything was falling into place. 

Hobie pulled you closer, something that had gone unnoticed by the females of the group and had Miguel’s hand almost twitching. 

Weeks had gone by, then he saw you at that party and heard you drunkenly venting. 

“Big and fuckin… stupid, ya know, Gweny? And like… my sister tells me about the sex, Gwen, the sex!” You were barely coherent as you rambled and this made Hobie laugh. He walked off to find his own fling of the night and a few hours later, he saw the big guy carrying out your passed-out body. 

The next day was the pool party and after the heat interaction between you and Miguel, he clapped his hands and laughed. 

“Time for grub, innit? How bout the food now?” He stood and walked to Peter, who hurriedly started passing out food. 

He just sat back and watched, waiting to interfere when he might be needed most, which he had a feeling would be soon. 

Meanwhile, Miguel walked around and finally found Gianna in the upstairs bedroom. 

“Gianna?” He asked and she turned, hugging him. 

“There you are, Miggy! Did you two talk? She still seems really mad.” Gianna bat her eyes and poured a bit, and Miguel felt sick to his stomach. The guilt of wanting you made his mouth dry and his hands freeze. 

“We need to talk.” He took her hand and led her to Mile’s living room. 

“Oh my god.” She covered her mouth and sat down, moving away from him a little. “I guess this was inevitable.” She let her shoulders sag and stared at the ground. 

“Well, I don’t think I’d say it was inevitable. It just started before us, and if I never-“ he looked up once her heard her crying, big tears streaming down her face as she hiccuped a bit. 

“I’m so sorry, Miguel. It’s just- I couldn’t help it!” She gasped and Miguel stopped dead in his tracks. What?

“What are you talking about?” He leaned backwards, frowning a bit. 

“This is about me and my ex, right?” She looked up, eyes glassy and red from crying now. Miguel stood up and furrowed his brows. 

“This- I didn’t even know… did you cheat on me?” The words felt sour in his mouth and like razors on his lips. He stepped backwards and watched as she stood up, reaching towards him. He moved from her hand and glared at the girl. 

“I thought you already knew, wasn’t that what you wanted to talk about?” She looked up to him in shame, then squeezed her eyes shut. “It wasn’t anything much, just a hookup.” 

“I came out here to tell you this wasn’t working because I want someone else.” He blurted out and a hurt expression flashed across Gianna’s face. 

“Who?” 

“Does it even matter now? You’re the one who cheated, I was going to cut things off before anything happened with her.” He started walking away from her. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To go fuck someone else, so I don’t have your taste in my mouth anymore.” He growled and stormed out. He needed to find you. Now. 

But you went home. You snuck out of the bathroom and went home, too embarrassed and hurt to see everyone again. 

How could you face your sister? Ben? Miles and Gwen? Everything was so screwed up, so messy now and you didn’t want to deal with it. You drove home and locked yourself in your bedroom, afraid of the world. 

Days had passed and it was the last class of the semester. You’d been watching your classes online so you didn’t have to leave your house, wanting to avoid everyone and everything. The only time you had to see anyone is when you had to eat, but your mom mainly brought your food to your bedroom. 

Walking onto campus, the sun beat down on you so hard and blinded you behind your sunglasses. You hurried into the lecture hall and bent your head down behind your laptop screen. You needed this final grade, it was an important class for you, but there was only one issue.

A looming presence made you scrunch your eyes shut and curl over your computer more. 

“We need to talk-“

“Class is starting.” You cut him off and fixed the darkened lenses on your nose. 

“Fine.” He yanked out the chair beside you and plopped himself down, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest. 

“That’s not what I meant.” You sighed, giving up and letting him sit there. “Did you study?”

“No.” He answered, as if your question was stupid, “Did you?” 

“I tried, but I couldn't focus.” You slumped, to which Miguel bit his lip. He felt responsible for your distractions. 

“Cheat off of me, then.” 

“What?” You blinked in surprise, uncomfortable with how this sentence made your morality feel. 

“It’s the final, and you know your shit, so if you need to look over to me at any point, just check your answer. I know I’m gonna get an A anyway, this is my whole job.” He rolled his eyes and scooted closer to you, making you suddenly very conscious of the heat of his body near yours and how you looked. 

“F-Fine, but only if I need to, ok?” You stuttered and looked away from him. 

“Only if you promise to talk to me after.” He raised a brow and practically trapped you with just the look in his eyes. 

“Ok, but not here. We’ll get food or something.” You stammered nervously and heard the professor start talking. 

An hour and a half later, you finally finished the test, only glancing at Miguel once through the whole test. A lot of the source material came back to you every time you read the question, only one part stumping you briefly before Miguel held up three fingers and instructed you that it was the third option. 

Walking back out into the sunlight, Miguel grabbed your jean loop and stopped you from running away. “We’re taking my car, since you’re basically an escape artist.” You gulped, seeing how intent he was with speaking with you seriously. Every bone in your body was hesitant and afraid of what he might say, you knew him and Gianna broke up shortly after the fight you had with him and your bathroom excursion. She didn’t want to talk about it, and you didn’t particularly want to talk to her. Everytime you two even made eye contact, bile rose in your esophagus and you choked on the stifling shame of how you felt for her ex-boyfriend. 

Miguel followed you to his car and had you in the front as you watched everything pass by, thinking about how badly life had crumbled the past few weeks. 

Miguel’s hand gripped the steering wheel tighter as he saw you so quiet and upset. He hated this side of you, sad and hurt, but it seemed that this was the only side he brought out of you. 

He finally parked after the silent ride and walked around to get the door for you, waiting for you to jump out and also grabbing the door for you as you both entered the coffee shop. You’d never noticed him being a gentleman before, maybe because you’d never even given him the chance. 

You sat at a table inside and leaned on the wall beside you, too tired to even sit upright. He stood on the line and ordered coffee for you both, as well as a breakfast sandwich. You stared at his tall frame as he took the seat in front of you and sighed. 

“We should get some things out of the way.” He started and you nodded quietly. “I’ll begin with what happened . Your sister and I broke up because she cheated on me and I like you.” 

He spoke like this was obvious but your eyes widened in shock. 

“She cheated? With who?” 

“Some guy in her honors biology class. It wasn’t a big deal, we weren’t that serious and it was only two months.” He shrugged, sipping his black coffee as you milked yours with sugar and cream. 

“But still…” You trailed off and bit your lip. You felt his hurt, but he seemed so indifferent that it made you think again and then remember what else he said. “You like me?” 

His eyes found yours and he nodded.  “I liked you before I knew her, I’ve thought about you since the summer classes started.” He rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, like he was thinking, and the movement had you mesmerized. “Never knew your name, and when I met Gianna, I liked her because she resembled you, but then I was always around you and I would get angry and bitter because I had gotten so close, yet it wasn’t you.” Miguel rambled, running a hand through his brown hair and sighing in frustration from trying to explain his emotions. You grabbed the hand from his hair before you even realized what you were doing and held it on your own, then dropping it and blushing. 

“I uh-” 

Without waiting for your response, he grabbed that hand again and held it. You sat in silence for a second and stared at where your bodies now met. “You run through my mind like you have no idea.” his hand brushed yours once more and you realized something. 

“You were the one who helped me when I was drunk at Miles’s party.” 

“Yeah.” He nodded, smiling a little. 

You two sat there for hours, talking and laughing as you shared stories and feelings, as if a weight was lifted from both of your shoulders and you could be open to the other now. 

As you threw your head back from laughter to something he said, you heard someone call your name from behind you as you turned and met the eyes of the one person who wouldn’t understand. You both froze, fear chilling the entire area around you all. 

“Gianna?”

Tags: @ihateuguys @spontaneousleo @ginger23 @y2cade @alex110370000 @winteringfalls @neverlandlostchild @haileycannotcometothephonern @loser-alert @idk-sam@bunnyrose01 @minalovesyoubabes @thedevax @arquiiva @freehentai @vonev @rue-ting @darkfairy102190 @iamv1n @teresalesbian @killykstudio @topreice @artyanimi@hrlzy @mikotoguilty @ceoofmiguel @jotarossshark @i-want-to-be-your-dreamgirl @arquiiva @loonalockley @spiderwriter2099 @mikotoguilty @scaleniusrm @angel-xx-1 @siidmm @tayleighuh @zaunsin @imheretoread @lazyotakuofficial @callmeurslxt-pls @angelaut0matec @vonev

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[kaiju-krew]

Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)

I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.

hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time

anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)

shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.

sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’

i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.

as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.

DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO

i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.

i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙

goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it

i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu

SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10

[fleshengine]

Rocky Horror Picture Show: I didn't like it

Here's the thing, I was mostly paying attention to the puzzle in front of me while I watched it, so I don't think I can call it disjointed and nonsensical in good conscience. When it comes to the actual content I feel like it's somewhere between what people who grew up in the suburbs desperately want to have happen to them, and what their parents are terrified of happening to them. A lot of perverts who don't really have an "in" into sexual communities want to be swept off their feet by a group of people in a sex dungeon. They don't want to have to give consent, they just want things to happen to them. At the same time, being enticed into a house with the promise of safety and being sexually assaulted and raped is something that a lot of conservatives and shit scaremonger about. Neither of these things really happen irl, if you want to be part of a kink scene you have to talk to people and very few people would even consider doing the shit Frank does without prior consent. It's a situation that's both hot and terrifying and is equal parts fantasy and nightmare. In this way, the story is a trans woman.

Anyway heeeyyyyy let's talk about that transmisogynistic stereotype huh? Frank N Furter who I will just call Frank now is like... everything about the stereotype. Intense makeup, evocative dancing, revealing outfits, rapist, violent, seductress, broad shoulders with a thin waste. It's really hard to fully articulate but basically Frank is everything people who fetishize transwomen want about us, and everything people who demonize us hate about us. Look, even down to the name he goes by being a joke about sausage.

It doesn't help that everyone in my life who has expressed a fondness for the movie hasn't been transfem, and I think that's because it makes us feel viscerally uncomfortable. Like, hey look there goes Mr. Transmisogyny raping a married couple and killing a man woohoo I love seeing what the wider public thinks of my existence! At the same time it's held up as a fucking... pinnacle of queer story telling, I've heard there's live productions on pride, and fucking monthly public viewings at theaters. It's ridiculous. I don't care if it was groundbreaking when it was made, or if it holds importance now, it has been made obsolete by the progression of queer rep. We don't have to enjoy transmisogyny anymore, we can just enjoy being trans. I know this is sort of shouting "stop having fun" at people, but I think this movie is harmful to have in the queer cultural zietgiest. I think it should belong in history, not something that you show to everyone you can because "it's so gay, you have to see it." It doesn't help that I saw it right before I saw Psycho for the first time which is also transmisogynistic and demonizes mental illnesses (that I have). No hate to the guy whose house I was at, but those were a combo my dude.

[fierceawakening]

Okay, so speaking as someone who was raised Christian, went full on ex-Christian antitheist, and now practices Christianity in a way that seems relevantly similar to how this person describes their religiosity ("I don't think there is a God, but the rituals connect me to other people and help ground me in my personal values, so I like them anyway")... I've been trying to think of what I dislike about these sorts of post, and I think I finally have hit on it.

People like this are right when they say "people who've abandoned a religion imposed abusively on them can't understand why other people wouldn't do the same thing." I was BAFFLED for a long time by the people at the church I'd left. They were nice! Why would nice people keep doing rituals dedicated to a god that I saw as inherently abusive ("love me or be eternally punished," and they chose "okay then I love you," as I saw it then)? The only way I could make sense of that was to think either they were painfully stupid or they were stuck in the creepy cult I'd narrowly escaped. Either made me feel profoundly uncomfortable.

But the thing that I think people saying that miss is... the people saying that don't seem (to me, anyway, as I read their posts) to understand why someone could have such a violently negative reaction to their culture of origin to want to cast it off entirely.

That's what they're not getting. They're like "but these dietary traditions aren't nearly as confusing as 'is there a God?' so why wouldn't I keep them even if I'm agnostic or atheist? SEE, YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL MY CULTURE."

Where... no, I don't think so. I think the ex-Christian atheist is just so revolted by the thought that they've been part of an abusive relationship ("love me or I'll hurt you forever!") that they want to discard EVERYTHING that reminds them of it, and that because the response that makes you brave enough to leave an abuser is so visceral, "sure but I kept the necklace they gave me, I like it" seems really fucking weird to them.

Ex-Christians are VERY often behaving like survivors who have very recently left abuse. They are not trying to get you to act a little Christian to make themselves feel better. They are not understanding how you can get to "God most likely doesn't exist" without then going "and therefore, I can stop hurting myself, and am free."

They hear you saying your relationship is healthy, but they’re not in a place where they can believe that yet. I wasn’t for a very long time myself! I wouldn’t have tried to demand people deconvert, that would be controlling, but I did Vaguely Worry when they didn’t.

It's not an attack. Give them time, and maybe they can even get to "I do a lot of Christian stuff but don't believe God exists, because some of the cultural bits that aren't toxic as hell are valuable to me.” I got there! I'm weird, but I'm not crazy.

But when you say "It's Christian of you to want to fully reject Christianity," that's baffling. No it's not. It's natural and normal for people to want to jettison anything that remotely reminds them of an abusive relationship they were in.

It's not intentional judgment that makes them not understand why you're not doing the same thing. It’s typical minding.

Which is bad! I’m not saying it isn’t. But it’s not a hidden devotion to a secretly Christian agenda.

[abiiors]

thanks to @bookish-strawberry and @hereyeswerefilledwiththestars for the tags!! here's 15 questions/15 mutuals (all my mutuals have already done this and i definitely do not have 15 people to tag now haha)

are you named after anyone? no, not really. although my real name is incredibly common so 🤷🏽‍♀️

when was the last time you cried? oh god i cry so easily. last time was probably last night because i was already emotional and then i saw the ross and matty video again ("i love you. I'm sorry i make everything a joke") and everyone in the comments was like ross cried after this and i immediately lost it :(( but also i saw a really small kitten being rescued and nurtured back to health with love and kindness and i lost it again

do you have kids? no and i am not sure if i want any but i do have a cat that i treat like my baby so there's that

do you use sarcasm a lot? i try not to. understanding tone/slang and sarcasm is a bit difficult for me sometimes so i just tend to not use it myself. unless I'm in an uncomfortable situation and then it just slips out.

what's the first thing you notice about people? their eyes. also their hands? idk a lot of my nervous tics are hand related so i like to gague people's reactions based on what they do with their hands.

what's your eye colour? dark brown!

scary movies or happy endings? oohh can i not pick both? i love a good visceral, psychological horror but I'm also a sucker for all things sappy and sweet

any special talents? i can skate really well? and ice skate decently. I'm also learning how to skateboard. apart from that, i like to think I'm a good cook

where were you born? western India, not far away from where i live now actually

what are your hobbies? writing and reading, obviously. but I'm also really into painting (even tho I'm quite terrible at it)

do you have any pets? yes! one stupid orange cat that i love with my entire heart. his name is biscuit

what sports do you play/have you played? I'm horrendous at sports, I'm afraid. i don't ever really remember doing it. unless cheerleading counts

how tall are you? 5'2!

favourite subject in school? english, history and chemistry (one of them is not like the others but my chemistry teacher was a fucking angel and always so patient with me)

dream job? i already have my dream job hehe. i edit books for a living. but in another life i would have also loved to have a chemistry related stem job

i'm gonna tag @poisonmedaddy13 @adoringspencer @que--sera--sera @alexturnersmommy @more-multifandom-of-madness @tillthelandslide and anyone else who wants to do it 💞

[rahleeyah]

d.c. anon backkkkkk ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼

first is a question: do you usually watch the episodes live? I wanted to get your take like right away on this weeks ep but didn’t want to bombard you with spoilers 😂

second re: Liv and the shotgun. first thing I thought of? well that’s sexy. and badass. bc if I had personally been through all the shit that Liv has and this was happening to me? You best believe I’d be doing the same. so for me to see all the backlash on this? (safety, kid in the house, etc.) like this grown ass woman isn’t a decorated nypd CAPTAIN and police officer for half her life. like cmon friends. lol.

ok so third I’m LOVING at this continuity piece they slipped in with oc by saying Elliot lost a friend, partner recently. It puts so much into perspective as to why they don’t talk. it also gives the shows and sr’s an out I think. What I mean by that is I know some big accounts on Twitter (and more than one) talk about having one sided conversations on the respective shows. Like why can’t we see a “text” from Elliot or a “call” from Liv? This requires no budget, planning, etc. (and I agree with that perspective) but it just gave us so much. And that’s so positive imo. Like FINALLY we’re acknowledging this pink elephant in the room as to why that hasn’t happened and that was awesome for continuity and esp for progression.

I think it also gives the viewers a chance to be rightfully angry for Liv and at Elliot in a way we haven’t seen yet. He just acknowledged that he was neglectful, selfish, etc. that hasn’t been talked about yet. so we aren’t watching two different shows in two different universes. there is a reason!

In all, I just think that that one comment gave us so much and that has allllllll the potential for this upcoming arc. It’s disheartening to see the negativity about it in twitter, but hey that’s Twitter for ya. 😂

lastly, I say all these things with respect and a little bit of humor-never anything seriously negative. I know how tone can be weird through the screen and would never want to come off that way or disrespect anyone in any way 🥰🥰

welcome back! lol

first - i do watch episodes live! i usually don't liveblog or check in on tumblr or twitter, but i always post a little immediate thought when oc is over and my inbox is always open for yelling lol

second - yes. there was an immediate backlash to the visual of it, a backlash that doesn't account for who she is, what we know about her, what we saw, and what we didn't. i'm surprised anyone is surprised she has that weapon at home. i think it makes people uncomfortable, and i understand that, but olivia isn't us. olivia lives a very different life from most of us, and she has a familiarity with guns, and a real, visceral reason to be afraid for her safety, and she had to turn in her service weapon. and of course in the wake of a trauma like that this is how she responds. i personally loved it.

third - yes i'm actually kinda hype for the idea that they had a falling out, or a drifting apart, and they are going to have a chance to choose. when he's healed and she's not trying to hold his life together any more and they both have to think about they really want. i'd rather them be in a fucking fight and angry with each other than find out they were having a lot of important relationship development that we didn't get to see.

bless you anon, thank you for coming back to share this with us

[sad-sour]

hello again, it’s me, here to word vomit before i make myself crazy but this time it’s about the barbie movie 🤩

the barbie movie sincerely was one of the most incredible movies i’ve ever seen tbh. it was beautiful but it was painful and tbh that’s the essence of being a woman

there were several different themes throughout the movie and fuck i really didn’t think this movie would cause me such incredible amounts of psychological damage 😃

what happened between ken and barbie when ken just starts being fucking MEAN and he’s so mean and it just broke my fucking heart and had me sobbing in the fucking theater because my “ken” was so fucking mean to me and to see this innocent barbie get a verbal thrashing for the first time for the boy who means the fucking world to her just sucked so bad because once he hurts you like that the relationship never recovers. what barbie and ken when through is EXACTLY what it’s like to have a close male friend in childhood who eventually grows up to objectivity and crucify you for not loving them back

“where i see live she sees a friend, what will it take for her to see the man behind the tan and fight for me?”

like he’s SO obsessed with barbie and she DOES love him but he refuses to accept the love she does have for him because she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, like barbie wants to be her own person and she wants that for ken too

it was genuinely such a surprisingly visceral reaction to ken being so fucking mean to barbie, as a little girl you don’t ever get that innocent friendship back once he starts being fucking MEAN and i think that’s so fucking heart breaking bc as a woman who has experienced that kind of thing the it’s just so fucking upsetting to look back on what should be such fond fucking memories only for them to be tainted with what “ken” threw in your face and said

the other plot point that really really got me was the mom shit, like damn everybody said if you got mommy issues fucking watch with caution and they were NOT lying

i’ve got mommy issues bc i’ve got a mom that bullied me and even tho i know she loves me bc she’s my mom it always fucking felt like she hated me, the barbie movie made my heart ache bc it made me feel empty. i have a mom and i’ve always ALWAYS wanted what other girls had. i wanted the mom that wanted to play with me, I wanted the mom that made snacks and picked me up after school, parents that didn’t leave me home alone for an entire weekend when i was only fucking eight years old

i saw this tiktok that talked about how this girl and her mom went to the movie together and they were hugging and crying during the beautiful montage of mothers and daughters and i just felt empty

i couldn’t ever imagine watching that movie with my mom, honestly the thought makes me uncomfortable and that makes me really sad

you know i’m kinda surprised by how much this movie really fucked with me,

doesn’t help that my cousin’s 22nd birthday was a few days before this lmfao

even better she posted a video on insta of her from when we were younger, i saw it and i burst into tears bc that’s my big sister, even if we always wanted to pretend we were twins

we were girls together

we played barbies together and on day that just disappeared…

one day we put down our barbies for the last time, packed them up in those big stupid barbie travel cases for the last time and watched them get sold at a yard sale

we still played together, we played animal jam, poptropica, animal crossing, just dance wii sports but none of that feels as sentimental as when we played barbies together…

i never did that with anyone else

doesn’t help that speak now (taylor’s version) just recently came out as well and listening to a 33 year old taylor sing never grow up just kinda really slapped me in the face you know

she was 9 and i was 8 the first time we ever listened to that album together and it was really special getting to listen to the new version with her too and i’m just in this really weird fucking place in life wondering when the fuck i grew up and how i missed so fucking much of my own life because i don’t really have any memories prior to the age of fucking 16

i turn 22 in 2 months…

and all i’m left with is this yearning for simpler times, times before i knew anything about the world when all i was worried about was my barbies and some new fantastical adventure that we were going to send them on

i’m left with this vague impression of memories from times i don’t fucking remember and the only shit i do remember is the traumatic or sad shit

but you know what i’ll keep my rose tinted glasses on for the few precious memories i do have because if fucking refuse to let reality have all of my girlhood, some of it i get to keep for me

[birdsy-purplefishes]

Hello, friend! I’m probably one of the people who you probably saw drawing parallels on Facebook, but mostly I’m one of the people who’s always doing that on the EE subreddit and I’ve seen your username while annotating the lyrics over on Genius!

I think we’re on to the same thing in RE-ANIMATOR and Raw Data Feel, that there’s a common thread running between them. You mention that the first EE song we heard after Violent Sun ends R-A was when they released Bad Friday as a single, but you’ve left out something: the SUPERNORMAL EP, which was released between R-A and RDF and is made up of two tracks that were rejected from R-A, said to be trimmed out for length and sort of representing two very extreme ends of the spectrum of what EE are capable of. SUPERNORMAL is manic punk rock yelling and Mercury & Me is a sober piano ballad. 

I pointed out (in a meme!) that when you take these two tracks together, they paint a very bleak picture about the nature of love and relationships. SUPERNORMAL is about the destructive, addictive power of extreme stimuli while Mercury & Me is a starkly straightforward and personal breakup song.  There are surprisingly affecting little bits of pain in SUPERNORMAL (”Something is missing from my life”, “I have a hole inside my heart”) but Mercury & Me is absolutely heartbreaking. I love SUPERNORMAL. I still, to this day, can’t listen to Mercury & Me because I will absolutely lose it.

Mercury & Me made me feel fucking horrible. There was something in Jonathan’s lyrics that always really bothered me but I took it as metaphorical and assumed I was just being hypervigilant because of some things that happened to me. Mercury & Me is loaded with callbacks to a lot of the songs that made me uncomfortable. And some of those are very old.

Jon has mentioned in interviews that he made a big change in his life around the time RE-ANIMATOR came out and that he feels much better now. His behavior in interviews then was very strange and it worried me but again, I figured I was just being paranoid. After Mercury & Me and especially all of Raw Data Feel I think I had caught on to a lot more than I had realized and I feel awful about it. Because I had brushed it off and even made stupid jokes that, in hindsight, are really not funny.

I kind of hinted at it in a recent comment on the subreddit but basically a lot of his songs are love songs, and all of his love songs have this tragic, tainted element to them. The constant juxtaposition of love and war, domesticity and violence. Writing a song about worshipping your Arch Enemy, which is also a malevolent god that you hope destroys the world. Saying you “need Her”, followed immediately by “Armageddon” (basically: if I can’t have you I hope the world ends). Feeling like suffering for love is what validates it. Stubbornly pursuing something that you know deep down is bad for you. There’s always been a lot of weird things going on with women (and I think most straight male writers are guilty of this to some degree) where he’s like... adoring and afraid?  The love is always so conflicted. He’s always begging to be loved or forgiven. He’s “on (the) fence” or “at the border”. 

Bad Friday really cemented it for me. I had a very visceral reaction to that song. I don’t know if I really want to go into detail right now but there’s a metaphor he used that struck me as eerily similar to the way I had conceptualized something that was happening to me several years ago. It made me cry that I had been in that situation but then it was kind of funny to me how absurd it was and I felt really proud of myself for using an abstract idea to cope when I was terrified. When I felt like I didn’t really know what reality was anymore. It was kind of an amazing realization but it made me feel almost as bad as Mercury & Me did.

Uh, anyway.... this is now way too long. 

You drew some parallels here that I had missed, too! “You know this will be gone in the morning” and "I could not remember in the morning”? Brilliant! 

The person who needs to do the machine imagery webweaving is @txttletale​, because they’re really good at it. And already pointed out the visceral and mechanical thing!!!! YES! Where have both of you been all my life?!

And I am also frustrated by my inability to analyze the sonic choices. It’s music. I can’t understand the music part of music! Just the words part. And arguably not even that!

Was listening to the everything everything discography on shuffle (i have spotify poor only ok sorry) and Bad Friday came on right after Violent Sun and it felt like a revelation??? Because ok. Re-Animator ends with Violent Sun, and then Bad Friday is the first new music we hear from EE after that, and I wonder what story that tells??? I feel like a lot of people were drawing parallels on fb when this happened also...

Thematically both songs are similar - something about a relationship taking you out of reality, and while on one hand, violent sun feels a whole lot more positive than bad friday - "and she's saying you don't have to be a lunatic or an error or a prisoner of your terror" - there's violent imagery in both of them.

VS: obviously the violent sun, the violent arms, "the flesh in the machinery jams" - a fairly visceral image (but also i wonder if u could ponder cough cough's cog next to a cog next to a pit???? Someone should do webweaving for machinery imagery), "they come to take away the rest of our hands" - removing part of your body is quite violent? But also maybe the removal of agency....

In BF, the violence feels less abstract and more ominous... "looking for me"/"coming for me"/"hunting me down" vs "running for my life"... and "bust me out of my head" both as a literal statement of a wound but also the sense of becoming unconscious or unknowing - you're no longer you when you don't know what you're doing... and of course the "blood all over me!"

And theres this concept of not being able to put your finger on it -some vagueness in VS's explicit statement of "and you realise you don't know how long", and the almost slurring imagery in listed items: "dreams and the colour and the moment" "and the tears and the venom and the plasma". In BF, there's the repetition of "I could not remember in the morning" "I'm wondering" "I can't remember", "You must have" (where it's more of a guess than a statement), the lack of surety of whether it was a Friday or a Saturday night and the fact that the speaker keeps asking questions...

Also the key-est parallel in 'you know this will be gone in the morning' vs 'i could not remember in the morning'?? One feels like youre still in a dream and havent realised whether its bad or good yet (the fact that at the end of the day despite the tender imagery of her taking [you] into her arms, they're still 'violent'), and the other really feels like youre waking up from a (potentially lived) nightmare...

I guess these songs are so interesting to look at in parallel because they have pretty similar imagery but are executed in such different ways - i think the sonic choices have a lot to do with it but i do not have the expertise in analysing music to bring that into the argument. (Somehow they're sister songs to me - there's something about the driving rhythms and the feeling that you're running (toward? Away??) from something) and also the fact that theyre on the poppier side of ee's discography???)

Violent Sun closes off an album that deals with feeling in a more abstract sense with so much monster imagery - making it feel a whole lot more fantastical. Bad Friday, while not the album opener, does bring us into the world of Raw Data Feel - one where personal/interpersonal relationships are dealt with more directly (see the Kevin/Jennifer/Raymond narrative situation) and also life in the digital age (think about how the only way the speaker in BF has proof is the photos theyve got on their smartphone? Though it's not the most obvious theme in the song) which kind of brings us back down to earth... (and away from the sun???)

[mymarifae]

what do you think about the new girl page? seeing lots of divisive opinions on that one

mm. mmmmmm. hoooooooo boy ok let's talk about this. i guess.

to sum it up succinctly? it strikes me as bizarre. like, just bizarre. it's weird on multiple levels and fucks with established characterizations of susie, kris, AND noelle. it's messy and i think it was a poor choice. and for now i'm tentatively bonking toby over the head with a hammer (i will get into why it's tentative for now, rest assured) and i'm also bonking everyone praising it and immediately incorporating it into their views of the characters.

to break it down further...?

in and of itself, it's like. alright, we've got this indirect and yet very clear confirmation that susie was adopted/temporarily housed by (and is still bouncing around in the foster care system) a human family and has/had a "mother" who abuses/d her. so she's lashing out. she's redirecting her pain and trauma onto the one human in hometown. who was also adopted. by a family of monsters. a family that is kind and loving. that's not fair, why didn't she get to be a dreemurr, why did kris steal her chance, this isn't fair this isn't fucking fair-

she's a hurt, scared kid. and i don't necessarily think this is a. well i don't want to say "i don't think this is a bad scene to canonize" because it is a bad scene - it's uncomfortable and it caused me a lot of pain to read. but it's not like unforgivable, and it doesn't make susie a bad person.

i will never hold a grudge against a kid for lashing out when they were never taught love and kindness and acceptance. i will never hold a grudge against a child for being scared and hurt and so so so so angry at the unfairness of the world.

my issues with it arise from the way it just... doesn't... make sense. if susie was truly so horrible to kris, why were they so quick to trust her? hell, why was she so eager to be their friend? there should be a hell of a lot more tension between them. the things susie said to kris were genuinely pretty awful and can't be swept under the rug Just Like That.

it also completely contradicts the way chapter 1 is set up, where we slowly piece together that susie never actually bullied anyone. sure, the way the blog post is written makes it sound like she only went after kris when they were alone, but that kind of visceral hate isn't going to go completely unnoticed. i mean, noelle picked up on it before seeing the classroom incident, yeah? i feel like someone would have said something. and i feel like MK especially would have made one off-hand comment about how much susie seems to hate kris Specifically instead of just repeatedly saying that they've never seen her actually do anything bad, but, b-but, BUT she still sucks kris lol.

also, noelle's "i always thought susie can't be that bad!" comment makes noooooooo fucking sense if she saw this unfold. because she literally saw that yeah. she's that bad.

it puts kris and susie's current easy natural loving friendship in a very weird light, and i very much dislike how many people are jumping to accept it. yes, i also love depth in characters' relationships. i love layers and complexities and tensions.

depth =/= toxic. and that's what this blog post does. it makes it toxic. it makes noelle's crush on susie toxic and uncomfortable as well. (seriously: "maybe i should buy apple shampoo so she bullies me instead? XD" ?????????????)

now you will note that i said i am Tentatively bonking toby over the head with a hammer. there is another reason why i don't like people jumping to incorporate this whole mess into their understanding of kris and susie's friendship:

... how do you know this is a scene from our game's current timeline?

it's pretty obvious deltarune has some fuckery going on irt timelines and resets similarly to undertale. on that same note, i've always loved how quickly susie and kris Click, but it has always made me raise an eyebrow. because that is not two teens slowly realizing they have more common ground than they thought and slowly letting their guards down around each other. that is two already best friends reuniting.

the way i've come to understand it is this: in the very, very, very first instance of "deltarune", it took kris and susie a very long time to become friends. BECAUSE of what happened in the classroom and whatever else. they only began to trust each other a heartbeat away from the end of the world. and then they fail. and then the timeline resets. and they do it again.

and the... feelings, the vague memories and the déjà vu. they linger. distantly, susie remembers a time when they were almost friends. and as the timelines go on, again and again, they just build up. things begin to change. their stories become brighter and brighter, despite ultimately ending in the tragedy that [gaster] wishes to prevent. until we get to this point where susie feels like she should be furious with kris for Something, but she can't bring herself to. and thus our current timeline, the beginning of Our Game, is born.

i stand by my theory that kris and susie's friendship will be what prevents the roaring or the angel's heaven or whatever other apocalyptic events ralsei decides to tell us about later. the red soul's intervention has nothing to do with it. they have lived countless lives together. they know now, just intrinsically, that there's no one they can trust more than each other. they are best friends till the end.

and by god is it going to be a happy one.

toby still gets a bonk over the head if this is the case btw because i ultimately disagree with using "ogh. timelines." as character development but i'll accept it if it means this stupid blog post isn't real (anymore). otherwise, he is going to need to pull some fucking magic out of his ass to explain this properly to me because it literally demolishes 2 chapters of build up and development ABFNDBDKGKFGKFJKGKDG 👍🏾

[shadowed-dancer]

Incomprehensible ramblings incoming (Spoilers for MHA 350):

I went back and watched the episode where the League meets Ujiko and DAMN I can't look at Nomus the same way again. Just seeing the Nomu made my stomach knot up. At one point I thought I was actually going to throw up. I'm not even joking. I've never had THIS MUCH of a visceral reaction to such a "nothing" scene before. I've cried at movie deaths, I've flinched at fight scenes, but this was literally a still-shot of a Nomu in a tank doing NOTHING and I could feel my stomach twisting.

Like, we always knew the story behind the Nomu is tragic, but I always felt that barrier of "the extra" preventing it from really hitting me just how disturbing the concept of Nomus are.

Nomus were never really "characters". They were made from people but like, in name only. It was horrifying, 100%, but it was just sort of a fact of their backstory. It existed to show how messed up Ujiko is, but since they were introduced as Nomus, it never really affected me beyond "damn, that's fucked up. Ujiko and AFO are evil and I hope the heroes stop them".

Like think about how none of us are sad the OFA users are dead. It's because they started the story dead and were literally written to be dead mentors. We met them when they were already ghosts. No one is here crying that Nana is dead because, like, that's the whole point. She was written to be the dead mentor. We never lost her because we never even had her. But if All Might died, then I think most of us would be pretty distraught.

In a way, it's the same with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. Shirakumo wasn't an established character (in the main series) beforehand. Yes, his brief story is sad (much sadder when you read his chapters), but in the main series, he's literally introduced as "a kid who got turned into a Nomu". There was just this level of disconnect, like Shirakumo as a character existed for this specific plot point. Horikoshi didn't create him for a purpose beyond that. It's not like we lost Shirakumo along the way and then learned about his tragic fate, he was literally name dropped once and then introduced as "the guy we think this Nomu was made from". Messed up, but that's his narrative purpose. (It also helps that Kurogiri is pretty sentient and is able to act as a character in his own right).

But while watching the anime and seeing the Nomus now (after 350) it makes me so uncomfortable because I just get hit with that thought of "that could have been Dabi". Love him or hate him, Dabi is a character we KNOW. We've seen him hanging out with the League, we've seen his backstory, we know HIM. He was NOT introduced into the story as a Nomu, he had his own stuff going on. He was existing and growing as a character.

He's complicated. He's fun to read about. He's got an interesting backstory and fascinating dynamics with other characters. And something about knowing that someone like Dabi would have become a mindless, faceless Nomu is just chilling. There would have been no Dabi to know. Touya, a sweet, innocent kid, would have become a literal nameless enemy for a hero to defeat without a second glance. All of that backstory and tragedy COMPLETELY GONE if he had been turned into a Nomu. And that's where it gets me, because that is the case for every. single. Nomu.

Of course I knew this before. I always understood that Nomus had lives beforehand. But it took seeing a character I KNOW saying "that's what you would have done to me" to make me realize how sick and twisted the Nomu are.

Let me clarify this: I never saw the Nomu as just faceless enemies for the heroes to kill. I still think it is VERY messed up that the heroes kill them so nonchalantly. But something about 350 made it so much more real and like... idk it really got into my head.

I got a somewhat similar feeling when I learned Aizawa was supposed to be Kurogiri. The thought of the Aizawa I know and love not existing broke my heart, but it was calmed by the knowledge that he would have at least been somewhat intelligent. I don't think Dabi would have been given that same luxury.

I think that's what it is: the thought that this character I've grown attached to could have (and would have, if he hadn't run) been this mindless monster is extremely upsetting, and seeing the other Nomu makes me realize just how disturbing of a concept they are.

Fuck Ujiko and FUCK AFO

(I don't swear often, but I make an exception when it comes to AFO. Ujiko has now been added to this list).

Congrats, you just read through me attempting to rationalize my thought process. Have a cookie.

Anyways, you write your horror manga, Hori. If you are able to do THIS to me with a single chapter, you're gonna do great.

[julemmaes]

The One Good Thing

Rowaelin Month, Day Two

A/N: again, I'm gonna fail all my exams because of this stupid app, I'm sure. Also, I miss the off campus boys so much I kinda made Fenrys one of them and I love the idea of the tog men as hockey players so yeah, enjoy;)

Word count: 2,581

Aelin would have killed for a second of silence.

She daydreamed of that almost noisy quiet that makes you feel every deepest thought hidden in your brain that exists only at 3 a.m., when every soul is resting and cars can't drive around the campus. And there are no children screaming at the top of their lungs or parties going on all night long.

That was what she had been promised, the flyers she'd been handed during the open days, when she had come to visit the college.

That was how it was supposed to be.

Aelin had tried so many times to ask her upstairs flatmate to hold his Twitch live streams strictly in the afternoons or mornings when she wouldn't be home, but when Fenrys Moonbeam had first opened the door to his place, the girl had known immediately that she wouldn't be able to change his mind even by paying him.

Especially since his live streams were followed by such a large audience that Aelin couldn't even begin to understand how he had managed to build an empire so big in just under a month. Surely it had something to do with the long blond hair, different from her own but just as beautiful, and the arms covered in tattoos so colourful they blind you. They had their own charm. Add to the pile the fact that he was the goalie on the hockey team, and he was the perfect mix for the guy to marry.

From what their common friends had told her, he was already earning enough to afford an off-campus home, but that he liked the comfort the college dorm gave.

A comfort that Aelin, after three years in those filthy rooms and shared bathrooms, had yet to find.

When yet another howl of celebration at yet another victory that everyone expected pierced through his floor and her ceiling, nearly drilling her eardrums, Aelin gritted her teeth so hard that for a moment she feared they might shatter.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to whisper, "Shut," failed miserably to keep her tone under control and shrieked the second word, "up!"

A booming laugh rang out upstairs and a millisecond later a message lit up her phone screen.

From Lys: Girl, maybe you should take a chill pill, I heard you on the live stream. Are you still studying?

She tossed the phone to the side, pulling her hair up and pinning it back with a pencil.

"Fuck off." she muttered under her breath.

Lysandra was one of the few in their group of friends who never missed a Fenrys broadcast. Whether it was at eleven at night or five in the morning, she was always one of the first to join in.

Aelin often wondered if she was just doing it because Fenrys was helping her sponsor her YouTube channel, but then she remembered that Lysandra would do the same for all her friends.

She got out of bed, taking all her books and notes in her arms, pen in her mouth and holding her phone between her pinky and ring fingers. She threw open the door to her room and found herself facing a wall of muscle, slamming into her roommate's chest.

Rowan's hands snapped forward and kept her from falling backwards and when Aelin looked up at his face, she almost lost her balance again.

His face was sleepy, only one eye open as he suppressed a yawn. The imprint of the pillowcase on his cheek just another sign that he had already been sleeping.

"Are you okay?" he asked her in a hoarse voice, stepping back and letting her through, "I heard you screaming. I was coming to check on you."

Aelin grimaced, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

He shook his head, moving a hand in mid-air, "Don't worry about it." then his gaze snapped to the ceiling as another laugh from Fenrys cut through the thin material dividing their quarters. He frowned, lowering his gaze back to her, and it was at that moment that he noticed the books in her arms.

If possible, his frown deepened even more.

He closed his eyes, gently grabbing her wrist and leaning against the wall behind him, pulling her towards him.

Aelin let herself be tugged, arranging the books so that they didn't poke at either her or him in that uncomfortable hug, but she positioned her head against his chest, letting his fingers expertly massage the nape of her neck.

"Baby." he sighed into her hair. Her toes curled.

It had only been a few weeks since they had decided to start dating, a few weeks since Rowan had confessed to having feelings for her. They had exchanged a few kisses in secret from their friends, wanting to enjoy that first phase of their very fresh relationship in privacy. They hadn't done anything too steamy yet, and Aelin had more than agreed with his decision to take it slow, but one thing Rowan hadn't held back in the slightest from the first second she'd agreed to go out with him had been the pet names he'd given her whenever they were in the safety of their dorms.

Baby was definitely her favourite.

His hands slid lower, down her back, and she looked up, resting her chin on his chest and fixing her eyes in his. His gaze softened, still clouded with sleep. "You shouldn't be studying at this hour."

Aelin grunted, smacking her forehead against his chest, "But I have a test tomorrow."

Rowan sighed again, pushing her away and taking the books from her arms. "Precisely why you should be sleeping." He walked towards the common room, speaking softly and hoping Lorcan wouldn't hear them. They both knew their roommate suspected something, but he didn't have enough worries in the world for him to actually give a shit about their possible relationship, and they also knew he would never say anything to anyone. Maybe to Elide, but neither of them would bet on it. "I left you alone tonight because you needed to rest, not stay up until morning melting your brain."

She followed him like a lost dog, dragging her feet on the ground, finally feeling that visceral fatigue get the better of her.

"I can't leave the study half done."

Rowan dropped the books on the table, turning around just in time to block her before she bumped into him again and slipped the pencil out of her mass of hair, letting it fall around her shoulders.

"You're not leaving the study half done," he told her as he rubbed her arms to keep her warm, "you've spent the last five weeks studying this stuff and I'm sure you know it like the abc. You need a break." he told her.

Aelin looked up at him from under her lashes, a little annoyed that that was true, but completely distracted by the lines his fingers were drawing on her arms. She took a deep breath through her nose, puffing out her chest and thrusting out her breasts, catching the attentive gaze of her almost-boyfriend for a nanosecond.

He smiled wearily at her, "Are you sleeping in my bed tonight?"

Aelin just nodded and took both of his hands, pulling him down onto her. Rowan squinted his eyes and placed his lips on hers in a quick, chaste kiss. She hummed in satisfaction as his hands slid under her bottom and wrapped around her thighs, pulling her up. She tied her legs around his hips and rested her head on his shoulder as Rowan made his way into their tiny flat.

He lowered her onto the bed, pulling the blankets out from under her body and laying down beside her before covering them both. Aelin moved as close to him as she could, pressing her back against his chest and her butt against his crotch, tangling their legs together.

Rowan's arm wrapped around her waist as the other slipped under her head and his hand found hers under the pillow.

The second they were settled, every bit of their bodies touching, Rowan left a soft kiss on her shoulder, pulling her even tighter against him.

She smiled weakly, in a drawling tone, "Thank you."

He hummed against her skin, "That's what I'm here for."

"Don't let me die around finals time?" she asked in a teasing tone.

Rowan chuckled softly, making her back shake, "Exactly."

Aelin tried to turn towards him, wanting to trace the pale freckles that were starting to sprout on his nose now that the days were getting longer and the sun kissed his cheek every afternoon, but his arms blocked her.

"No, it's not fair for you to be the big spoon every night. I'm fucking sick of it, I want to hold you today." he muttered, the chains of sleep already dragging him towards that blissful unconsciousness.

She huffed, stopping struggling against his grip, relaxing and feeling her muscles scream with pleasure after being tense for hours on end while she studied.

She hadn't realised she'd stayed up so long, but she was terrified of failing this last exam. If she failed it she would have to wait months before she could retake it and the idea of it was getting her down more than perhaps it should have.

She started thinking about the various questions the professors might ask her the next day, repeating the answers in her mind, closing her eyes as she thought.

"Baby," Rowan grumbled, "you're talking out loud."

She hadn't realised she was biting the cuticles around her nails until his hand came to rest on her arm, pulling her hand away from her mouth. He took a deep breath, helping her turn to face him.

When she looked up at him from under her lashes, she saw the way he was fighting sleep. And she felt terribly guilty. If she was having trouble sleeping the day before an exam, that didn't mean he had to stay awake for her too.

She was about to speak, tell him to close his eyes again and let her go into the living room so she could finish going over the last few pages and then return to his room, but he put his hand on her cheek and in a soft voice asked, "What's bothering you?"

She bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head, "Nothing."

He tried to hold back a yawn again, but couldn't this time and Aelin's guilt grew immensely inside her. "If you tell me right now what's wrong, I could help you fix it sooner. And we could get at least three hours of sleep before we have to go to class." he pointed out in an exhausted tone.

She blinked once, twice, searching for the right words.

"It's Fen. If he'd stop playing so late every night-"

Rowan quickly cut her off, closing his eyes, almost as if he could no longer physically stay awake. "Ace, Fenrys never really bothered you. You've always managed to study and ignore it. What is it that's bothering you?"

Aelin let go of a shaky breath, "It's nothing, really. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

He only opened one eye, watching her carefully as she hid her face against his chest and wrapped her thin arms around his torso.

His hand began to slowly massage her back, "If we don't talk about this now I'll be up all night worrying."

She huffed, knowing full well how true those words were. For the love of the other, she began to ramble on about the real reason she hadn't been able to focus on the textbooks.

"I don't want to tell anyone we're together yet," she confessed under her breath.

Rowan opened both eyes then, fixing them on her and giving a small nod with his chin to keep her going.

"It's not that I don't want to tell the others," she said, referring to their closest friends, "but the second they find out, the news will become public knowledge and there are some people I really don't want to let that information get to."

He nodded, understanding perfectly who she was talking about.

"We don't have to tell anyone," he kissed her forehead, continuing to talk in that position, his lips brushing against her skin with every word he spoke, "it'll be our little secret for some time more, until we figure out how to get all the puck bunnies off our backs."

Aelin smiled, lifting her chin and kissing him.

Being the captain of the hockey team, Rowan didn't exactly go unnoticed on campus. Not many people approached him during the day, especially when Lorcan was at his side, knowing full well that they would receive nothing but a rude invitation to leave, but their friend couldn't spend his life attached to Rowan's hip, and the few times the two of them had gone out alone it had happened that a horde of fans had overwhelmed them. After those afternoons, Aelin had found herself the victim of not so nice threats from unknown numbers, as had happened to Lysandra when she had first started dating Aedion.

With Manon's help they had managed to track down the senders and Rowan had been unpleasantly surprised to discover that it was one of the girls he always partied with after the games. A girl he'd always considered a friend.

Rowan had taken all the blame, feeling responsible for those attacks on Aelin and it had taken months to convince him that he had no part in the insanity of others.

They'd started limiting the dates they went on as a pair, even when they were just friends, to prevent similar things from happening again, but Aelin felt trapped.

And she knew it was the same for Rowan.

She wished she could get a place off campus, where she could retreat with him, away from the prying eyes of the world, but it didn't seem right to bring up the topic of 'let's move in together' after not even three months of dating.

Rowan rested a hand on her cheek, moving a strand of hair behind her ear, "It'll be fine. And if anyone finds out and the threats come back, we'll do something about it."

She nodded, not entirely convinced and not at all reassured.

He knew instantly, "Aelin, whatever happens, I don't care what others think. I've waited years to finally have you. I've been on the sidelines all this time, watching you go on date after date with everyone and never with me-"

"You never asked," she mumbled in annoyance.

Rowan continued as if she hadn't spoken, "I would have preferred not to be the talk of the town all the time, but I'm not going to let public opinion take away the one good thing in my life."

She opened her mouth wide, "What about hockey?"

He shrugged, looking at her, "Hockey is just a sport."

"If Lorcan could hear you right now..." she shook her head.

"But Lorcan's not here. And you won't tell him," he made her silently promise.

They exchanged another brief kiss, before they carried on talking about all the worries she had and every word that came out of his lips acted as a sedative for her fears, killing one at a time, until she fell asleep in his arms, lulled by his soft breathing on her neck.

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just dm me or send me an ask)

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[transexualpirate]

im being so normal about this. anyways let's go to episode five aka second to last

first of, straight up, what do you MEAN "YEAR ONE"? HOW LONG ARE THEY GONNA STAY IN THIS FUCKING TRAIN HANG ON

is this happening parallel to the other siblings or does timeline travelling not count time. im asking because i want to know if klaus is still buried alive IM SO WORRIED ABOUT HIM IS HE EVER GONNA CATCH A BREAK? HE'S BEEN ABUSED BY HIS PATERNAL FIGURE, TRAINED AS A CHILD SOLDIER, HAUNTED BY GHOSTS, TORTURED, FOUGHT IN A WAR, FOUGHT ADDICTION AND HOMELESSNESS, SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE LIKE THREE OR FOUR TIMES IDK IVE LOST COUNT AND NOW HE'S BEING ESSENTIALLY TORTURED AGAIN

meanwhile five and lila are. in a fucking train

i just saw the name of the episode BACK. THE FUCK. UP. HOW LONG?

squints. is this gonna be their excuse to make lila/five a thing. it better not be.

y e a r t h r e e .

i dont like the way they're looking at each other. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING ST EACH OTHER.

they're shaving five because aidan can't grow a beard because he's not even 20 yet

are they eating rotten pig meat? wait that has a name. pig meat i mean. that's pork right

Y E A R F I V E .

NOOOOOOO DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOO DON'T CUDDLE TO SLEEP. noOOOOOO

YEAR SIX ......

KLAUUSSSSDNNNNFNFNNFNRNFNFNRN FFCUKKKKKK

"please don't leave me please don't leave me" what if i killed myself

"why is this happening to me" DUCKINGBFHH.G HELL

viktor and reginald petty fighting over the song i love viktor so much beat his ass boy

kill this old white guy. please. ive never asked you for anything before. just kill him it would be so easy

im glad they're sort of addressing viktor's trauma at least lol

reginald's car plate says hermes lol

wow lots of dead birds for some reason. were birds more affected than other animals ?

this situation is very reversed to season one when it comes to ben and viktor lol. i mean with the "my traumatized brother is accidentally and unknowingly causing the apocalypse and what im seeing and feeling cannot be trusted and i will lash out and claim my siblings just can't stand it that im finally happy"

I HATE REGINALDDDDDDDDD

i cant believe diego and luther are falling for this it's honestly sad. like im not used to cringing but it was hard holding it back just now. no offense but damn.

i can't believe luther is being the voice of reason in this............

six years five months and two days and they haven't fucked so i think we're in the clear. they're just good friends and im happy for them. i mean except for the whole stuck outside of your own timeline thing but im glad they're getting along. :)

"she's the lock and he's the key" hmmmhmfjf i deeply dislike the imagery this evoked in me.

KLAAUUUUDJHDDSSSSDBDBDNNDNDNFJFJJRJRJDNNDFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCJJJJJJJJJKKKK

GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST IM GONNA CRY

COME ON THUNDERBOLT YOU CAN DO ITTTTT

allison is kind of scary i hope she kills those guys

claire looking at her mom like :O she can do that ????

allison seeing the sort of place he visits :(

ALLISON NO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TO HELP OH NOOOOOO

the fucks a ballbuster

holy shit do not let claire in a place like this oh my god

YESSS CLAIREEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK YESH FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH im sorry claire had to see this but im also so happy it happened :)

im sorry but i don't really see diego as a family guy ngl i just don't think this is a good arc for him. but idk

oh he learned punjabi that's so cute. he knows at least three languages then i like that

I DON'T LIKE THE ROMANTIC SONG. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING A ROMANTIC SONG

"when the snow comes" YOU'LL BE OUT OF THERE WHEN THE SNOW COMES SWEETIE!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL NOT STAY THERE LONG RIGHT. RIGHT???????? RIGHT!!!!??????????

WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY ARE YOU TWO HOLDING EACH OTHER

am i the only one viscerally disgusted by this please don't do this pleasepleasepleaseplease

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is so uncomfortable im going to cry i don't even want to look at them

EEEUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGEGG

gene's hair is braided lol

i can't believe luther is being mildly competent damn

nnneeeeevvermind. forget i said anything

i think he can beat them in a fight. my money's in luther

i was right :)

monkey man wearing a g string in the cia building

"were you giving ribbons a lap dance" "kinda?"

why are their clothes so easily tearable . not that im complaining. im really not. at all

WHERE DID THE CAT COME FROM?

ouchie. that was brutal the thing with the stapler m inspired by five huh. and luther is Still wearing a g string while diego is shirtless. because of course he is. of course they are

JIGGLY TITTIES

OMG LUTHER AND DIEGO BONDING!!!!!!! RARE BUT GORGEOUS SIGHT

stop showing me five/lila and show me klaus . pplease .. .

she's his dolores this time and i hate it. like a lot. almost as much as i hate reginald. not as much but almost as much

DON'T FUCKING CALL HER LOVE EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW

BROTHER EUGHHHH

and i thought luther/allison was bad...

nOOOOOOO BAD CHOICE TELL HER TELL HER TELL HER WHY AREN'T YOU TELLING HER YOU FOUND A WAY OUT IM GOING TO CRY PLEASE TELL HER

how many times has klaus died and came back i wonder

"nobody's coming for you"

omg did he make thunderbolt corporeal or at least audible? because that's cool as fuck

"claire bear" what if i cried for three hours nonstop

"y-you came back for me"

he's sobbing and im sobbing with him

thunderbolt is my favorite character and i stand by it

lila is absolutely correct. this ISN'T real. NONE OF IT IS REAL. it's just SURVIVAL.

viktor's powers used to be blueish white now they're the color of fire....... very cool very interesting

i don't CARE that reginald was marginally decent ONCE i still hate all versions of him forever. i cannot stress enough how much i dont give a shit. i will hate him forever and ever PERIOD.

what kind of freaky ass fitting room is this ive never seen this before

why is she ecloding if ben looks normal?

OHHHH SO THATS ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS'S GUY'S ROLE

OR. JEAN'S ROLE ????? HANG ON

OKAY I WOULD LIKE AN EXPLANATION PLEASE IF POSSIBLE

she's like supernatural's shapeshifters

she? he. they¿ it. it?

WHAT IS THIS HOW THE EPISODE ENDS??? NOT COOL

SPOILERS AHEAD first impressions of s4 (aka the last season) of tua no i haven't finished the episode yet but i wanna talk

what do you MEAN there's only six episodes im going HAM

luther is a stripper now. that's great. i love that for him. i love him. not so easy now is it luther. space little boy. i love this stupid stupid man he's trying so hard

BEN WAS IN JAIL FOR SCAMMING PEOPLE OH MY GOD oh my god oh my god??????? BELOVED,

"u n c l e k l a u s"

klaus is staying with allison and claire and he's paranoid now the poor thing.... i love him so much....... he's so worried about his nephew....... babye............

he's scared of CIGARETTES now. Okay.

JEROME?????

you could pick ANY name you wanted and you landed on JEROME???????

"and i was involved in the kennedy assassination" "speak your truth"

"your faith in me is undeserving" that's the klaus i know and love now go to therapy please

they All should be in therapy, really

"he's germaphobic now. and incredibly sober"

klaus&claire is the duo i didn't know i needed but now i cant live without. look at them go. they're family.

ALLISON IS VAPING NOW?????

"STONED"? WEED PEN???? ALLISON IS THAT A WEED PEN

WHAT HAPPENED

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XVII

Part I - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part XIV - - - - Part XV - - - - Part XVI

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Anakin scarcely had time to relax into the confirmation that Obi-Wan still loved him when his Master drew back.

“Anakin- you have no idea how much I simply want to stay like this, but we don’t have much time before I have to talk to the council, and there’s some matters I really feel we must discuss privately before that happens.”

“Ok.” Anakin wiped his face with the sleeve of his robe and sat at the foot of his Master’s bed, vibrating with intensity. 

“First of all.” Obi-Wan took a deep breath. “I know this sounds insane, but I need you to believe me- I’m from four years in the future. Or I had an incredibly detailed, four year long vision. Either way- I know things. I know where the war is leading us.”

“Alright.” Anakin nodded in relief. Looks like Bant was right. Thank fuck- I hated her theory the least. “So when you-” He vaguely mimed a stabbing motion “-You were trying to ‘wake up’ - from a memory? 

“Yes! Exactly!” Obi-Wan replied, relieved at the ease of the explanation. 

Anakin smiled reassuringly, then lunged to grab a pillow to whack his Master over the head. “You- fucking- kara- blast- idiot.” Anakin grit out, thwacking his master repeatedly with gentle rage. “Do. You. Have. Any. Idea. How! Fucked! Up! That! WAS! FOR!-”

Obi-Wan snatched the pillow, “Yes! Yes! I didn’t intend to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry, and you are perfectly entitled to your anger, alright!”

“I- oh.” Anakin paused, sitting back on his heels, not really sure how to go respond.

“Anakin- I know the identity of the Sith Master. I know who’s behind everything.” Obi-Wan stared intently into Anakin’s eyes. 

“Obi-Wan- that’s great!” Anakin said excitedly. If Obi-Wan knew who was responsible for all their suffering then, “That could end the war, right?”

Obi-Wan continued to gaze searchingly at his dearest friend and brother’s face, gently opening himself up to their bond, trying to find any hint of duplicity.

Anakin faltered under the scrutiny. “Right?”

Obi-Wan took another deep breath. He didn’t know. This was Anakin, before Palpatine- did something to him. It wasn’t too late.

“Anakin...it’s...someone we trust. Someone you trust. He- Darth Sidious- he’s been running both sides of the war.”

Anakin paled, eyes darting to the door, voice dropping to a low, urgent whisper, “He’s on the Council? Fuck that’s bad. Obi-Wan, what do you need me to do? I don’t have my lightsaber right now, but-” 

“No!” Obi-Wan replied quickly. “No! I mean, yes, it’s bad. But he’s not on the council. It’s- Anakin. I’m so, so sorry. But I saw a security hologram of him giving the final order to- to wipe out the Jedi and the Separatist leadership.” Anakin watched in alarm as Obi-Wan shuddered viscerally.

“I saw his speeches declaring victory over us, over everything. He personally killed half the council when we finally, finally found him out, far too late. Yoda barely survived- we were- the two of us were all that was left. I spent the last few years listening to his decrees as ‘Emperor’ - declaring the scarce remaining Jedi traitors to be hunted down. Making non-humans second class citizens. Enslaving worlds.”

Obi-Wan grabbed the front of Anakin’s tunic. “Please Anakin. He- he’s evil. He doesn’t want peace, or freedom, or justice, or security. He’s just been manipulating us all for his own ends. All of us. This whole time.” 

“It’s going to be ok, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said earnestly, grasping his Master’s hands. “I believe you. If the force gave you this clear a warning- or this incredible a second chance, then obviously we have to listen! I won’t let it happen how you saw, I swear. I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him.”

Obi-Wan felt like he was teetering over the edge of a precipice. He sucked in another breath- why was it so hard to breathe- 

“Anakin- It’s Palpatine. Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord.”

Anakin froze. “That’s- not funny.”

Obi-Wan barked out a single hysterical laugh. “No, no it is not. But it’s true. I told you- I saw it and- it makes a twisted sense, even only looking at the informational available at this point in time! How the Separatists  always stayed one step ahead despite our advantages. How the clones and the GAR came to exist in the first place. The constant increase in war time powers- Dooku karking told us the Senate was under the control of a Sith-” 

“We’re listening to Dooku now?” Anakin asked, getting angry for lack of a better response.

“Anakin...” 

“I mean of course that’s what the Sith would want you to believe! He’s the chancellor! Turning the Jedi against the leader of the republic is such a Sith move.”

“Anakin...”

“And- and- MIND CONTROL! What if it was it was mind control! You even said you thought that you thought Cody was mind-controlled, right?”

Obi-Wan drew back, alarmed and suspicious, “How do you know that?” he rasped hoarsely.

Anakin rolled his eyes. “You told Cody, remember? That first night? In the hovercar?”

“Ah. Right. Sorry. That first night is still a little fuzzy.” Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose. “I still can’t believe I time-traveled while high on one end and drunk on the other. It’s so- undignified.” 

Anakin snorted. “You must have taken a lot of spice, huh?” he joked.

Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably.

“I- oh for Krong’s sake,” Anakin groaned, slapping himself in the forehead. “Obi-Wan- were you actually trying to kill yourself?”

“No!” Obi-Wan replied quickly to the loaded question. “I was just looking for a- temporary escape. I did mention that a Sith Empire ruled the galaxy and Yoda and I were all that was left of the Jedi order, right? He didn’t seem totally sane the last time I saw him, either! Not to mention, I spent most of the last three years alone in a desert.”

“Oh.” Anakin grew somber. “Master, that-”

“And that still doesn’t explain how you knew what I said to Cody.”

“Well, the day after I came back to our quarters to find you in the process of stabbing yourself in the heart you woke up, declared Master Che both dead and a Sith trick, then sunk into a self-induced coma.” Anakin snapped. “The healers, I think understandably, set aside privacy and called everyone in to try and figure out what the fuck was going on”

Obi-Wan cringed. “That...makes sense. Sorry again.” He cleared his throat. “Look, we’ve got seconds left before council interrupts- I just- didn’t want you to be blindsided by the Palpatine reveal.”

“But you admit there was mind control involved,” Anakin insisted. “Cody wouldn’t have turned on you without it, and neither would the Chancellor.”

“Anakin- I know we never liked to talk about it, but the Vod had a lot more opportunity to be compromised en mass. They were designed for a purpose we never fully understood and their entire childhood consisted of indoctrination; we already knew Dooku was involved with their ‘commissioning- we just ignored it.’”

Anakin bit the inside of his mouth, tasting blood as he restrained himself from screaming. He didn’t want to think about Kamino and he had to make Obi-Wan see past the nightmare he witnessed, before he convinced the council of an innocent man’s guilt.

“There wasn’t anyone else who might have been mind-controlled, who turned on you, or the Jedi? You said everyone died- there had to be someone besides some of the clones and one old man doing the killing,” he said desperately.

Obi-Wan’s sputtered, “That’s- that’s different- it was so obviously Palpatine’s influence.”

“But there was someone else you think might have been acting against his will.” Anakin pressed, sensing a weak point.

Obi-Wan looked gutted. “I don’t know- I want to believe you would never do such terrible things but you did and it all happened so fast...”

“So you admit-” Anakin stopped as his brain caught up with his mouth. “Wait- me?”

Obi-Wan’s face twisted in anguish but he didn’t break eye contact as he nodded.

Anakin swallowed hard. “Obi-Wan... what did I-” he cut himself off as the door opened.

Master Windu entered and squinted suspiciously at the two of them. 

"Mace!” Anakin said nervously. “We were just- crying. You know. Being attached and, and all that.”

Obi-Wan's jaw dropped open as he stared bug-eyed at his Padawan. “Mace?” he repeated, dumbfounded.

Mace Windu inhaled slowly through his nose. “Your friends had plenty of time to bond while we were trying to make sense of your more... disastrous traits.” He waved vaguely.

“You just gestured at all me,” Obi-Wan replied, offended. 

“Well, you’ll have the opportunity to help clear up our misconceptions. Master Aerdo is preparing a meeting room in the Halls so you can explain everything, just like you wanted.”

“Oh, fuck.” Anakin whispered softly. 

“It’s a different room, Anakin, I made sure of it.” Mace reassured him.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan parroted in delight.

“Well, I’m glad you know everyone’s names, at least.” Windu muttered. “Master Che will be by to check you over one more time, she should have some proper robes for you. Should we contact Commander Cody? He’s at a pre-departure briefing with Master Tiin not too far away.” 

“No.” Obi-Wan responded sadly. “We can’t alert anyone outside the halls about even the existence of this meeting. Maintaining secrecy right now is too important. We’re going to need to take a significant amount of extremely careful action on a lot of fronts if we want to unravel the Sith’s plots- and I hate to say it but stopping the actual war is unfortunately going to need to wait for last. We’ll still end things sooner than they would otherwise, but if we meddle too much right now... Whatever story you were using to explain my- absence the past few days, please simply double down on that.” 

The Master of the Jedi Order nodded slowly, holding off on questions with well-practiced restraint.

“Alright Windu, Skywalker, get out.” Che ordered, brusquely pushing her way in with a hovercart. 

“Yes, Master Che.” Anakin acknowledged, jumping up. He gave Obi-Wan a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he departed. “We’re going to get through this.” he said valiantly, trying to project confidence.

Obi-Wan smiled weakly, “I’ll see you two soon.”

“That’s up to me, actually.” Master Che said cheerfully, snapping her gloves.

Part XVIII