#tw ignoring pain

[funfactory]

saerom ♡ escape room (220128)

[wizardofarles]

Prayer for the Faithless

I don’t believe in wounds I cannot see

Gods and absent fathers

Broken promises that never heal

I crave something that bleeds

Like the man who hated life shouts

In the face of death, I want to live!

I only see God when it’s spilling out of me

[ursie]

I’m sorry but this is awful and pandering like. Babs hates her and it’s wrong but we don’t need to pretend she doesn’t and hasn’t said the most misogynistic stuff about her behind her back consistently like. Let her be a bitch 😭 THEYRE NOT FRIENDS ITS OK like?? it’s honestly more misogynistic to insist women can’t hate each other or have ugly/bad traits on the basis of being women like. Babs is consistently mean to Kory. Kory doesn’t give a shit about Babs. It’s ok. Literally it would be so much funnier if they acknowledged it as a one sided rivalry that it is and always has been 😭 I’m a Babs stan but ignoring her bad traits and just making stuff up to make her look good isn’t helping anyone

Also Babs is straight up not one of the best fighters on the planet she’s not even one of the best fighters in the batfam like 💀 embarrassing I’m sorry I’m a Babs stan but this is out of a bad fanfic. She’s an ok fighter but she’s an unparalleled hacker and tactician ect ect like she’s a good gymnast and stuff but honestly she wasn’t at her best as batgirl and that’s ok. Cass & Helena (and maybe Steph) are better fighters than her.

Literally all of the bat boys save for Duke are consistently better fighters than her. It’s ok. She’s not the best fighter. It’s ok.

If you want her to be the best at something let her be Oracle again 🙄!!!!

Also it’s bs to be like Starfire the best warrior on another planet like she’s one of the best in the galaxy you two are not the same 😭 don’t play

[pain-is-too-tired]

Chat. Thinking about Jake Mason again.

Like,he was 100% depressed in TLH. Right?

And if I have to think about all this stuff I'm taking y'all down with me jdfdjc

TW FOR TALK OF DEPRESSION AND SOME TALK OF SUICIDEAL IDEATION

But yeah. His introduction is so interesting to me because not only is this poor boy in a full body cast, he's dealing with multiple injuries to his siblings,as well as still worrying about a dragon in the forest that literally put him in the cast to begin with.

And there's a chance that a lot of new kids joined the cabin after BoM. Harley is,what? 7-8? He's a LIL KID. A age of a typical 2-3rd grader. Along with all the other likely mostly 10-15 year olds,he having to take care of a lot all at once,after a war,and after loosing his big brother.

And,for fellow Sunforge shippers,after loosing his boyf too.

Like,I don't think we talk enough about that. He's taking care of a 7-8 year old. Why likely still actively mourning those he lost. Why dealing with all these incidents and then getting so badly hurt that he's in a BODY CAST

By the time Leo meets him he seems so...done? Like just indifferent to everything.

"I'm you Head Counselor...for now."

I honestly don't think he was meaning stepping down. Sure,he DOES step down later, but if he wanted to step down at that point,why not just do it then? I doubt he was just waiting for the right person to take the mantle. Plus, he was stuck in bed. He couldn't do much anyway so why not switch then?

He nearly died from Festus before, I'm sure he was highly aware they something could happen to him that could kill him. And,like I seen mentioned before,there's a chance he wouldn't be too against Festus having managed to kill him.

I don't think he was actively suicidal,but i think he was at least passively so.

He just lost most of the stability he likely had. He doesn't really have anyone to lean on, and he was never given time to grieve. He was trusted into leader ship.

Not just that,like I mentioned before, he has to deal with the fact that Silena,his brother's girlfriend, had been the spy. One the reasons for his death. And has to deal with people around camp calling her a hero for her sacrifice. Obviously I'm sure Beckendorf is talked about, but that still hard to process. Especially knowing how close they were as partners.

No wonder he's so apathic by time Leo meets him. Everything's falling apart around him, he's nearly died multiple times in just the pass year,he's lost multiple people he's loved and cared about,he's dealt with the betrayal of someone he likely strongly trusted.

Especially for a Neuroduvergent teen boy, that's a lot to process.

We've had some representation of depression in the series, but idk, something about that one scene hits different for me.

He's just so indifferent and defeated. And he's seems like one the only Head Counselors we truly see like that.

Drew is snappy and dismissive

Will forces a chill and sunny attitude

The Stolls as usual being pranksters and joking around to cope.

Clarisse seems her usual self

Yet,in TLH,Jake is just...defeated. but in TLO and later BOO, he's chill but determined. He's a strategist,he finds some humor in Michael and Clarisse argument and makes a dig at Octavian during the BOO meeting (i just know he's thinking that Michael would kick Octavian's ass-)

So when you read him in TLH it's just...it's a clear difference and hits so much harder.

Kinda wished instead of Leo becoming head counselor, we see him being there helps Jake get back to who he was before. He leads the cabin why Leo's gone anyway. I think it would've been sweet to have that close connection between them.

I also hc that Jake had started to withdrew from most of the other HCs. Except for Will,who was dealing with the Hephaestus cabin cause of the injuries.

That's partly why Will was asked to take Leo to Cabin 9.he was the only one who probably knew how to handle Jake's state in a even way.

Anyway. Jake Mason my beloved. You deserved more scenes.

[puppetgearing]

its crazy to think i was having a good day yesterday and one comment managed to ruin it and it'll drag on for days u-u

[supersuperdupersecretnerd]

Oh my God, this lore is so dark what

So Urbanshade can include 'making deals with Satan' and 'kidnapping and torturing an ACTUAL ANGEL' to their list of crimes, huh.

[wishful-seeker]

May Apollo bless this scorching hot bath and make my knees shut up and put out the buzzing fire in my joints.

[moon-draws-art]

Day 17 - Stitched

When a training session turns into a full blown fight-

But it’s ok, Killer is here to help :)

Killer belongs to Rahafwabas

[brakish-tea]

Just experienced Medical Gaslighting™

[immortalsins]

the end of exams has been the biggest goal for me to get to for a couple of months but now it's here i'm realising everything is still awful even if i don't have to study for hours on end

[self-dx-culture-is]

(tw slight vent ish?, remove if you must)

self dx culture is your family seeing your symptoms and going "oh, but that's normal" and moving on, while you yourself can't move on because what you experience isn't normal. you are distressed and in pain all day but they refuse to be wrong so they ignore you.

-🌊❄

Vents are fine

[golden-wire-caress]

(ok so to my knowledge this hyperspecific scenario hasn't been done before?? but if it turns out me from two years ago had an accidental subconscious theft moment, please let me know!! But here goes:)

So we all know the trope/idea of multiple whumpees captive under one whumper? Well here's an extension of that: two whumpees with at least some level of acquaintance with each other, both taken into long-term captivity around the same time, in the same cell. Maybe they have a limited range of movement from chains, or maybe they have free roam of the cell, but every 2-3 days the same outcome proceeds regardless: whumper hauls one of them out, tortures them for variable amounts of time, then returns them to the same cell.

Here's how it gets juicier: the whumper only ever picks one of them. Through the weeks (maybe even a month or two) that they've endured thus far, the whumper is consistent in only this regard and the ever-worsening intensity of these torture sessions. I love thinking about how this would affect the emotional dynamic between these two characters, there's so much shit there that can happen depending on their personalities!!! Perhaps the one being picked (A) grows to resent the other (B) while the other feels a burning guilt every time their fellow captive is tossed back into the cell. Maybe they grow to care for each other!! I'm very partial to that last point, but getting back on track:

This all horrifically culminates in a final session where whumpee A is brutally, permanently mutilated in some much larger/worse way. I'm thinking dismemberment of some kind, but feel free to take your pick otherwise!! After whumper patches them up, because of course they can't have their captive actually dying on them, they're thrown back into the cell. Whumpee B, who knows nothing of this other than 'this session is taking a disturbingly long time, what do you mean they'll be just a bit longer what did you do' is fucking terrified with whumper's work, and serves as whumpee A's caretaker over the next few days.

Then, four days after whumpee A is returned to their cell, whumper asks for whumpee B. With this cycle established, everything gets so. Much. Worse.

So yeah! Those are the thoughts for tonight. Or like, thoughts from several years ago that I still enjoy today, but regardless thank you for reading!!

[of-a-darkness-untold]

Tw: mdni period and cramps + conflicted sadist!fei

Also consider fei who doesn't know if he should be pissed bc no-one can make you hurt but him (and that includes nature), and enjoying that you whimper and he doesn't even have to lift a finger 💕

[lovsome]

am i so hard to care about?

[1nv1s1bl3-r41ndr0p5]

I helped you when you lost your grandparent so why can't you help me when mine has kidneys that don't work and we don't know why?

[catrpillaer]

Poem

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰

Tw; Suicide. Entire thing

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰

You struggle to open the bottle

Tears stream down your face

You just want it to end

The troubles you cause

The pain you deploy

It’d all be gone

Just if you could open the bottle

Anger burrows in you

No matter how much force

It stays shut

You don’t want to stay alive

You don’t need to stay alive

It hurts you to know the truth

It hurts to know only one person cares

It hurts you to realize you care abt others to much

If you could just open the bottle

Everyone’s worries would be okay

Everyone would be fine

You’d get it over with

Others would be happy

If it wasn’t for childproof caps.

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰