#tw depressed

[countingstar-s]

I wish I was normal

That’s all I ever wanted to be

Normal

To think, feel, talk, socialize, behave, relate as normal people do

Why the fuck I can’t be normal??????

[butwilltherebealcohol]

"death waits for no one" ok well it sure feels like I've been fucking waiting so what's taking so long. What Is Taking So Long.

[su1c1d3wh0r3z]

zero sugar dr pepper and lightly salted rice cakes as my first meal of the day after sleeping until 4:00 p.m.

[comfortableinthesilence]

Finished work early so I can go with my mum to see my grandad! After his comments yesterday I've been very worried about his mental health and want to do what I can to support him! My mental health isn't much better between a restless night and feeling numb but I'll put a brave face on for him and my mum, they have enough to worry about without my depresssd ass too.

Hope everyone else is having a bright start to the week and sending anyone who needs it extra hugs and positive vibes, I know I could do with some💛🧡💛

[tofumarinado]

it's so funny to me when i see pearl-clutching articles about how "teenagers are diagnosing themselves with mental disorders via tiktok" because like. this is not happening in a vacuum. teenagers are severely and i mean severely medically neglected. i cannot stress this enough. teenagers do not have free access to medical care. those same news outlets would be clowning on women with housewife psychosis in the 1950's.

i sometimes go pale when listening to some of what my friends have gone through in their childhoods and teenagehoods. they talk about it so nonchalantly, things that would be considered straight up torture if done to an adult, can't fathom the effect this has on children. they are on multiple anti-psychotics and several antidepressants and anxiety meds now that they are adults. medical neglect has legally and effectively disabled them. a timely diagnosis and intervention could have saved them. of course teenagers are self-diagnosing using tiktok. if your knee-jerk reaction is to scoff at the idea and dismiss it as dumb teenager shit instead of being radicalized because the best shot young people have at attaining the mental health support they need is a fucking dancing videos app, you're categorically a political enemy of the youth.

[hardtobcmysxlf]

so here's a bit of a life update: been working full time still and unfortunately having so many emotions have been happening over the past couple weeks, on Oct. 2, it was 20 years since my dad left this Earth 😞 I'm still recuperating from stuff that's happened when I went to my convention (mentally and physically) 🥺 the other emotions being depression and anger towards your now ex best friend, along with the feeling of "why did you leave? What did I do to piss you off so bad?" Eating away at you, especially after you just went to the convention together, then y'all don't talk for a few days, I sent her a check-in message last friday, and then I see on Monday that she blocked me on everything, no explanation, no goodbye...fucking nothing! Also sick of people thinking that I'm more fucking stupid than I actually am because I'm *smart enough* to know the signs of "electronically scratching a face out of someone you hate in a yearbook" (if ya get my drift aka blocking)

I really do hope therapy helps me unpack all these bottled up feelings and I have a good cry about it on Thursday...we'll see...

Been going through a hella rough time and I'm currently not doing the best coping mechanisms, (one of them I'm not mentioning on here), being zooted on weed and xanax while listening to this song, I feel like these gifs of Cassie.

[nightmarefuel0410]

Want to make a depressed person even more depressed? Call them selfish. Speaking from experience here with my mental health currently.

[emotionaleating]

when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 8 years old wondering what i did to make my mom mad again

[countingstar-s]

Birthdays sometimes also brings one of the worst feeling: watching the only 2 people who cares with me struggle to plan something cause there is no one to invite, or even worse: inviting “fillers”, just to fill the hole. Fuck it kills me I feel so ashamed.

[butwilltherebealcohol]

Why can’t my words and actions just not be horribly incorrect for one FUCKING SECOND

I can’t satisfy friends

I can’t satisfy jobs

I can’t satisfy anything or anyone ever everything every action I take every single thing I say IS ALWAYS WRONG WHY am I so FUCKING STUPID but have to stay alive???? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE HERE IF ALL I HEAR IS THAT I DISAPPOINT and am WRONG WHAT do you WANT

[commonzinnia]

death isnt enough. i need to never have existed

[visilepoem15192x]

[eccedentesiast-skies]

You’ve grown into someone who would have protected you as a child. And that is the most powerful move you made.

[professionallyunstable]

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

[werewolveswithdiaries]

[frogwithknife]

I wish my mum would hold me

Like the times she held me

That I can't remember anymore

But she is no longer my mother

And I am no longer little

And I am unable to remember