#tw critical illness

[maomango-doodle]

"And I hope you die, I hope we both die."

(Lyrics : No children by The Mountain Goats)

[actuallyverynormalbtw]

i dont like to talk about self-diagnosis because i dont enjoy people making assumptions about me, my illnesses, and my diagnostic status. but i will say:

i have self diagnosed and gone on to be medically validated with an official diagnosis. multiple times actually. i was never wrong about my self-diagnoses.

however, i have been misdiagnosed by professionals FIVE TIMES. and let me tell you, a professional diagnosis being wrong is far more harmful than a self-diagnosis being wrong.

if your self diagnosis is wrong, maybe you used the wrong language or put yourself in a box or now feel invalid and whatnot. but if your professional diagnosis is wrong, it can lead to abuse, medical trauma, panic attacks, issues with medication, even suicide.

i was misdiagnosed with BPD when i was 15 by a psychologist that i spoke to for hardly even 10 minutes. this diagnosis was based on my parent's description of my reactions to abuse, and the diagnosis was used to validate and excuse their abuse.

i was misdiagnosed with MDD when i was 12 and put through several different types of anti-depressants. we never found anything that worked, because it was actually ADHD and dissociation, but i did end up with panic attacks and insomnia all throughout middle/highschool!

when i self-diagnosed with autism however, it saved my life. it took me out of active suicidality because i was able to finally able to accept myself after years of feeling like i am just "being a person wrong". i had the knowledge to accomodate for myself and the language to advocate for myself. this was life changing. even if i was wrong, which i wasnt, i dont see how it couldve caused any harm.

my opinions on self-diagnoses arent black and white, and im not entirely settled on them either, but i do think this is important to understand. doctors and psychologists are not all knowing. we live in a time where we can access thousands of dollars worth of university level education on the internet, even the same exact resources medical students use. plenty of people are capable of interpreting themselves and that information to come to a conclusion about what they are experiencing and what might help.

sure, self-diagnosis might be biased. but a professional is most likely going to be just as biased, and possibly less aware of it. its just silly to use bias as a primary argument when it is an inescapable feature of human psychology. there is a reason ADHD is underdiagnosed in women. there is a reason anxiety disorders are underdiagnosed in men.

an incorrect self-diagnosis wont take away resources or your space in your comminities. but professional misdiagnosis can cause real damage.

(i am not trying to fear-monger about professional diagnosis, moreso responding to the fear-mongering surrounding self-diagnosis)

[gorycutie]

And the salvation was a lie like any other.

Shout out Gilbert Bloodborne, a real one from the very start. And that Hunter guy or whatever is cool too or smth smh [I love them both to death]

Also I take art requests, especially soulsborne related. Feel free to ask for anything.

[glitter-stained]

I used to dislike Lazarus Pit Madness headcanons but I've seen people say "he doesn't need magic madness he has normal madness" and "why would you need a magical explanation for his behaviour have you people never heard of cptsd" and while I understand the sentiment (and Jason definitely has cptsd) this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say dc has a dangerous habit of demonizing/villanizing mental illness and it has a real impact on the fandom's perception of mental illness. Winnick isn't the worst when it comes to Jason's writers but the fact that he wrote Jason as both a brilliant hypercompetent villain and a sympathetic character that makes you go "oh hey, he has a point..." should not distract you from the fact that no, decapitation is not a common symptom of cptsd.

[finncakes]

hound of ill omen

[viktoriaashleyyx]

ACOTAR is red pill content.

Tamlin is written in the way incels view a "Chad." Which is why SJM does take the time to say how beautiful he is and all the stereotypically gentlemanly things and then destroys his character to show, in the end, all Chad's are abusive assholes. "Women only want Chad's that will treat them like shit, [incel self insert] would treat them so much better!"

Rhys and cassian are oddly written as "Nice guys" yeah they've both SAd their women but "he had a reason to" and "don't forget he's ALSO a victim of SA so what he did to you should be forgiven."

SJM Dramaticizes the men's SA (at the hands of Amarantha and Ianthe) but justifies the women's SA at the hands of the male charaters because "they are traumatized too." It's giving "Men are victims of SA too!" as used to divert conversations when a woman is SAd.

This explains why she wrote RhySAnd SAing Feyre in the first place. It's put there to belittle women's experience with SA.

I'm not saying she did all of this on purpose, I don't think she's smart enough. I'm saying this is a heavy self insert and it shows what her true core beliefs are.

SJM is a pick me.

[spielzeugkaiser]

[MASTERPOST] - there I go with the h/c again :) In the last post @panur asked something about the timeline and that got me thinking! Ciri was very little when Jaskier was ill, she doesn't remember much - she probably had no idea what happened. And she does not really have an idea what Jaskier does either but oh well

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

it is interesting how the spop fandom has just randomly decided that certain things are canon even though they’re not. “catra has BPD” being the most popular out of all of them, despite the creators not even mentioning BPD. you can’t diagnose a fictional character. you can have a headcanon, sure, but you can’t insist that it’s canon. in that case, i could just say that horde prime has NPD or something, and that y’all are ableist for hating him.

similarly, people seem to think that guided meditation is somehow.. therapy? it can be part of therapy, sure, but guided meditation alone isn’t going to do shit for you if you’re actually struggling with a mental illness, especially something like BPD, if you really believe that catra has BPD. personality disorders can’t be “cured” with just guided meditation lol. they can’t be cured, period, but if you want to learn how to deal with them better, you need proper therapy and medication. trauma from abuse also cannot be healed with just guided meditation. meditation is just a small exercise to help you relax and/or focus. that’s it. it does not replace proper therapy and healing. perfuma is NOT a therapist, and she is NOT qualified to be one, considering the way she treated entrapta. you can’t just look at one scene where perfuma offers to help catra open up and say “perfuma is catra’s therapist!”

there are also some others, like the whole “catra only hurt she-ra, not adora” but these two are the ones that piss me off the most because these people pretend to care about abuse and mental health, when they clearly don’t know shit about it. they talk about how much catra has suffered and how unstable her mental state is, and then act like she can be healed with the power of true love and a few sessions of meditation and positive affirmations.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think when people talk about things like desirability, they can miss the deeper point of why it can be important to analyze why people are seen as undesirable. It isn't just that a type of person is just... not hot... but often, it's the dehumanization of a person based on marginalized features.

For instance, I had a conversation with somebody about disability portrayal in media, and we had agreed that, historically, disability had been portrayed as a horrific ordeal. However, I think they missed the point as to why the "undesirable disabled" character was so appealing to a broader audience. The idea that disability is other, inhuman, and something that depersonalizes somebody from society is partly why those ideas were and are prevalent in mainstream media and culture. It is the idea that "nobody likes you. Nobody needs you. Nobody wants you" because of the person's marginalized body or experience or whatever it may be.

It isn't some superficial "oh why aren't I seen as pretty by everybody?" It is the knowledge that you are portrayed as undesirable in this way because it is a way to separate you from everybody else. It isn't about beauty, nor is it a selfish desire to be wanted by somebody. It is the desire to be seen as a person - an equal, regardless of who desires you or who does not.

[agarthanguide]

Hi!! I wanted you to know how deeply I love how you rendered the embroidery on Laudna's top. The design itself is gorgeous- but also, in a lot of places I can make out what direction it looks like the threads are going. Which is just incredible. I could wax lyrical on that bottom flower.

I'd love to hear anything you care to share on the floral design- but if not just know that I AM obsessed with it and I WILL be hand embroidering it at some point. Probably sooner rather than later

Hey thank you for the kind words. I’m glad that the embroidery effect worked! I had tried it out a little on Deni$e’s pants, but I was honestly do intimidated to try it on Laudna’s stays omg.

I drew maybe 5 or 6 different floral patterns on various bodices for Marisha, but I think this look stuck because it has a thematic connection to Laudna’s spell Wither and Bloom.

I took inspiration from the Dutch Masters, specifically Willem Van Aelst. There was this 17th century fashion for still life paintings in which the subject are growing and dying on the same canvas, so as your eye moves through the painting you can imagine the growth, flourishing, and inevitable death of the flowers.

I’ve always been totally entranced by that notion. The leaves have these graphic, gnarled shapes, the tulips look like shreds of raw meat with their broken shards of color, petals threatening to fall to the table. It’s all so ALIVE even while the stems lose their strength and collapse under the weight of the blooms.

See also- Egon Schiele’s sunflower painting, which looks to me like… forgive the brutality, here… it looks like chronic illness. Or suicidal ideation (I’m not comparing the two). I just mean that it looks like something that wants to live. It looks like it’s simultaneously growing and dying even as we try to pin it to the wall and stop it moving.

Yeah so anyway. Wither and Bloom.

[peridaniel]

just gonna be crying forever about how imogen was once at the worst point in her life, in constant pain, suicidal, and laudna was once wandering around, completely alone and ostracized with only a dead rat and the evil voice in her head to talk to. how they found each other and changed all that in an instant and how now they're together together and imogen is at the happiest point she's been in the entire series and laudna, despite the hell she's been through lately, is happy too

[genericpuff]

hot take ahead but

(tw: mental health, abuse)

when people take my empathy for Minthe and twist it into "WELL YOU'RE JUST EXCUSING HER ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR BECAUSE SHE'S MENTALLY ILL! BEING MENTALLY ILL ISN'T AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE! SHE'S AN ABUSER, I'LL ALWAYS SIDE WITH THE VICTIM!" as if the victim of the slap wasn't a guy who was just as if not more abusive than she was in that relationship in his own fucked up way

really boils my piss ngl

literally nowhere is anyone saying minthe wasn't abusive when she slapped hades, or that hades deserved to be slapped or compared to Kronos in that scene

but why is it abuse when she does it but not abuse when hecate slapped hades

or when hades rips out a reporter's eyeball

or when persephone verbally attacks a bank worker

or when hera turns a satyr into a duck

or when persephone turns a nymph into a plant

like no shit having mental health struggles isn't an excuse for abuse but we seem to throw it out entirely as a reason when the person with mental health struggles isn't "pretty" enough or when they're not the main character. it's such a symptom of people being an ally for mental health until the symptoms aren't pretty and cute anymore.

flat out, if we're gonna say minthe is an abuser, that means we have to also acknowledge that hades and persephone and hecate and hera and pretty much every other celebrated character in this shitshow of a comic is also abusive. and if you see any of those names and feel yourself ready to go "WELL UM NO ACTUALLY, THEY HAD REASONS AND THEY CAN STILL GROW!!!" then we should be reasonable and also give Minthe the benefit of the doubt for her reasons and want to see her grow.

That's why people empathize with Minthe. It has literally nothing to do with "excusing abuse" and everything to do with the fanbase applying consequences to those they want to see suffer.

[thebitchbehindtheslaughter]

Day 2,569,364 of being called evil for liking Dottore, and having my favourite character be slandered because some are too big of pussies to just say “I don’t like the character” like normal people

[llycaons]

in hindsight one of my more insane responses to finishing jane eyre was being like hmm I didn't like this rochester fella. not my kind of love interest. kind of wild he was presented like such a great dude. you know who WOULDN'T lock a wife in an attic? lan wangji. that's right. #notlanwangji. but was I wrong tho

[thestarseersystem]

honest to god im so tired. no matter what your criticisms are of a system online, you should not accuse them of ableist things or demonize their disorder. Or just diagnose people with disorders on the internet.

I have always hated this dumb bitch ass youtuber, and I like DissociaDID, sure they've got into drama and given misinformation the past, but they also went through a lot of severe harassment and hatred that they did not deserve. And this STUPID person is STILL making videos online and they're so unequivocally false that its not even funny.

Like, DissociaDID has LITERALLY SAID MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! MULTIPLE TIMES, that do NOT let their littles on their channel, and if it does happen, it's rare. Its really depressing that this dumbass mf makes up lies and distorts the truth about a very popular system in the internet sphere.

Back to the pathological liar thing, ANYONE who uses the term "narcissistic" to mean "bad person" is just an ableist. So, if you see an online denouncing of a popular creator, and they call them a sociopath, a psychopath, a narcissist, etc. thats just a sure fire way to know that they do not know what they are talking about and have taken it into bad faith.

I'm just honestly violently disgusted about this sort of behavior, and it sucks, because I found out that I was a system because of DissociaDID, and the fact that people assume that they're faking because of whatever the fuck is cruel and horrible.

I've been afraid to talk about this because I remember the drama surrounding DissociaDID, but I have never thought that they were lying. You shouldn't ever fakeclaim people on the internet, you don't know their story, you don't know what their life is like, you don't know what they went through.

Horrible ableists like Michelle Mana and other ableist drama youtubers don't deserve to have a platform. Don't support these people, don't watch their videos, don't actively seek them out or comment. It's not worth it.

I just want to bring attention to this specifically, because this horrible person is still making videos on this stuff, and it shows that these ableists do not see people with DID as people. They do not see mentally ill people as people. They do not see those with stigmatized disorders, such as personality disorders, as people. Because otherwise, they would not fakeclaim or see NPD as the worst thing.

No matter what big systems have done, it doesn't mean they deserve to be harassed or attacked on the internet. I don't want to see this shit when I search up a youtuber or creator that I like. I know it's lies, because if it was anything substantial, it would be addressed. But it's the same old shit again.

Fuck ableist content creators, we don't need this sort of blatant bigotry. Don't support this shit, no matter your criticisms of those involved.

[crown-jay]

Because I just had to tell someone that wanting to make a hot pocket isn't an intrusive thought and I'm fucking pissed:

DON'T CALL IMPULSIVE THOUGHTS "INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS"

[PT: Don't call impulsive thoughts "intrusive thoughts" /End PT]

Intrusive thoughts are an incredibly distressing and hard experience to deal with. I have had absolutely terrible intrusive thoughts, even about people I think very dearly of. It is not a joke.

Things that are not intrusive thoughts:

Wanting a hot pocket

Wanting to dye your hair

Pinging everyone in a Discord server

I should eat all of this food

I should spill this glass of water

I should throw this paper at this person

I should snap this pencil in half

I should play video games instead of studying

Things that are intrusive thoughts:

I want to run over that old lady with my car

I should throw myself or someone else off this building

I should stab myself or someone else with this knife I'm using

I wish that kid on their bike would get run over by that car

Pedophilic thoughts

Racist thoughts

Ableist thoughts

Sexist thoughts

Other things that I haven't mentioned that are just as horrible to deal with

And none of the intrusive thoughts I just listed make the people who experience them a bad person. Because they are involuntary, unwanted thoughts. If I could stop having my intrusive thoughts I would and the drop of a hat. But I can't and neither can anyone else who experiences them. Thought crimes aren't a thing. Intrusive thoughts don't make you a bad person, I promise.

Do we understand now? Have I spelt it out enough? If you call your impulsive thoughts intrusive thoughts, quit it. I'm fucking serious and could not be more clear. I've said it once and I'll say it again; Ableists. Fuck. Off.