#tw / alcoholism

[bloodbluepearl]

i feel like people don't talk about the impactfulness of swansea immediately ditching his sobriety when he found out that the mouthwash had an alcohol content.

from the very beginning, he was accepting the idea of not getting out of the situation alive.

it takes a strong man to commit to sobriety, especially after 13 years of (presumably) heavy alcoholism, and an even stronger one to remain sober for 15 years, though he hadn't done it for his own enjoyment- that thought of him dead in some ditch somewhere because of some accident or another made while he was drunk out of his mind scared him into it, and pushed him to his decision. he enjoyed his time while drunk, but he knew that he wouldn't make it anywhere in his life and he knew that his time was running out (in many ways: he was getting older, so he would have less of his life left to steer himself in the right direction, and also the amount of alcohol he was drinking could kill him any day at that point, especially as he got older), so he put in the effort to try and 'better' himself- clean himself up, get everything he thinks 'successful' and 'happy' people have, and get sober.

of course, this doesn't make him a happier person, as much as he felt like it should. that was the entire point of his speech before his death- everything he worked for was a lot less exciting when he finally achieved it. but he stayed sober, because he knew that, in a more objective sense, outside of any of his own personal feelings about himself and his life and what he actually enjoyed, he was better off that way. he had more opportunities in life, he could keep a job, and he could maintain his relationships with his wife and kids much better than he could if he was still an alcoholic.

but when the ship crashed, he accepted that it was likely his final resting place, probably from the very beginning. he'd already had his shot at life, he already tried his best to be a model 'functioning member of society', and it was every bit as unfulfilling as it possibly could be. and now he was reaching his mid-life, or even late life. there wasn't much time left for him to be able to try and work toward an invisible goal of 'true happiness', whatever the hell that means. the way he saw it, he'd already lived his whole life. nothing more for him to do.

so when he found out that there was alcohol in the mouthwash, he barely hesitated a second. he drank it because THOSE were the best days of his life. he no longer worried about what kinds of consequences that such a relapse could cause, because at that point it didn't matter. he didn't care about continuing to live his 'model' life because that ship was his grave. he didn't have to worry about how it'd affect the relationship he had with his family, he didn't have to worry about being unable to get a job because he couldn't go half a day without drinking, he didn't have to worry about turning up dead in a ditch because of some mistake caused by his inebriation- it didn't matter in the end. the six months of food supply would run out far before the alcohol could kill him.

he did not for a second consider the possibility of him escaping the ship, even though he was the only person (for the majority of the game) that knew about the working cryo pod. it was never for him- he saw it as being a waste if he got in himself.

he'd already run his course. he would rather save it for someone with more potential to get somewhere in life, someone like daisuke or anya.

[dzknik]

McGucket is increasingly having anxiety problems, as he was before, and these anxiety problems are actually not problems, they are him being right about what they’re doing.

But he so wants to please Ford. I think McGucket sees his own value as “I’m the guy who builds stuff, and you’re the idea guy, and I’m valuable to you when I’m building stuff. And when I have a problem I can build a solution, and any time there’s an emotional issue, you build your way out.”

So the canon became that McGucket proposed such a thing (the memory gun) early on, and then was told “You shouldn’t do that”, and then like an addict, like an alcoholic who has a little sip and notices it takes the edge off, privately, he can’t bear to say it to Ford. He’s keeping a lot from Ford, he’s keeping just how scared he is of what they’re doing, he’s keeping just how concerned he is. McGucket doesn’t really know what’s going on, but he’s internalizing and thinking, “I just need to be a better partner. If I have anxiety, I’m gonna pop anxiety pills, and I’m gonna get through this.”

[pedrospatch]

secondhand smoke l masterlist

DBF! Joel Miller x Female Reader

I’m afraid you’ve ruined my lungs.

summary: When your mother leaves your father, you make the heart-wrenching decision to drop out of college, forfeiting your dreams in the big city to move back home to the suburbs of Austin, Texas—your dad needs someone to look after him and you’re all he has left. When his demons slowly but surely become too much for you to handle on your own, you find comfort and safety in the arms of his former best friend, Joel Miller.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) for substance abuse. reader’s father is an alcoholic. AU. NO OUTBREAK. DBF!Joel (sort of?) HEFTY AGE GAP (reader is 21 and Joel is 50) reader’s parents are separated, toxic marriage and infidelity (reader’s parents), reader has MAJOR daddy issues and more milder mommy issues, child has to be the parent type of deal, Joel is widowed (car accident), Sarah is 18 and going off to college but will make some appearances. secret relationship, angst, smut. very soft, protective Joel. each individual chapter will be tagged appropriately. no use of y/n.

*MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY. NO MENTION OF READER’S RACE OR SKIN TONE.

one - welcome home

two - truce

three- rescue

*more chapters to be added

divider credit to @/saradika 💛

if you’re interested in updates, please follow @pedrospatchnotifs for notifications!

[incorrectbatfam]

Genocide supporter.

The first time I tried to stop drinking, I quit cold turkey. I had been drinking since 2018 and wanted to be 100% done immediately, and the beginning of quarantine seemed like the right time. Back then, in my mind, a few beers at a party was no different than downing a pint of scotch alone in my apartment on a Wednesday. So when I broke my clean streak, it was a devastating mental blow. I gave up and jumped off the wagon completely, because what was the point if I couldn't achieve these exact goals in an exact way?

Things got worse when apathy and cynicism took over. I drank more. I got fired from my job and my ex broke up with me. I got involved with the wrong people in the wrong places. More than once, I've spent the night in the emergency room or a holding cell. And even though nothing bad happened, I'm ashamed to admit I even took my motorcycle out on the road. Each time, I tried the same all-or-nothing approach, because it was the ideal solution. Obviously, something wasn't working.

Then I started seeing a professional, and she told me that if I can't achieve perfection, I can at least take steps to get better.

If I couldn't stop drinking, I could at least cut out hard liquor.

If I couldn't stop drinking, I could at least leave my credit card at home and only carry a finite amount of cash, so once I ran out, that was it.

If I couldn't stop drinking, I could at least give my keys to a friend and call an Uber.

Etc. etc.

And those have been working. Though I still drink, I'm no longer doing it on weekdays or making myself violently sick. My sober stretches are slowly getting longer and I've been able to stay out of trouble. In some aspects, the damage has already been done—there are people who (rightfully) won't talk to be and I probably chopped ten years off my lifespan. But any steps toward progress is better than vying for perfection and getting nothing.

That's what people misunderstand about harm reduction. People think it's about choosing the cure, when it's really more like choosing the scale of the problem to tackle. The problem still exists and the fight is far from over. But as it currently stands, one side claims they'll be fine on the road, while the other is at least willing to hand their car keys over.

I know that this probably isn't anywhere close to a good analogy. Me frying my internal organs is nothing like the systematic destruction we're seeing in Palestine. The reality is though, we live in a system where change often involves a cumulative set of steps rather than one giant leap. That's where our participation and persistence make a big difference.

[franzkafkagf]

BE DRUNK— CHARLES BAUDELAIRE

the king had his customary flagon of his favorite wine, sweet arbor red, along the way to ease his pain. when his escort arrived and his kingsguard lifted the litter's curtains, aegon II was found dead with blood on his lips.

[a-map-of-gays]

Jack Shephard is like. All he wants to do is fix people because maybe that will make up for the fact that he couldn't fix his father. He never wanted to be in charge but he will do anything to protect them. He'll let the island kill him if he knows the others made it to safety. He drinks when he can't handle his emotions because that's what his dad did and he knows it's wrong but he doesn't know any other way to cope. He plays golf and he hugs his friends. He tells everyone he has terrible bedside manner but treats them so gently. He doesn't know how to be in love. He gets scared and he gets jealous and he doesn't know how to try. He reads Aaron bedtime stories. He messes with Sawyer over his vision. He pointed a gun at John's head and pulled the trigger. He's a mess and he makes mistakes and he does terrible things but he's trying he's trying he's trying and one day he'll learn how to fix it. One day he'll learn how to fix himself.

[courfeyrec]

i keep coming back to 'i was a functioning alcoholic til nobody noticed my new aesthetic' because i do distinctly remember conversations about how taylor seemed to be drinking a lot more and getting drunk at like every awards show she went to. and those conversations were coming from a place of concern and of hoping that she was alright and that this wasn't a problem.

so to then say 'ugh i can't believe no one noticed this problem i had' when i know that people definitely did, and on the same album say that fans who are genuinely concerned about a new relationship that you are in are just 'bitching and moaning'? what do you want from them? you're talking about so many people who do at least believe that they are coming from a place of care and concern, and you are totally dismissing them on both ends of a scale!

not to mention that her implying that since nobody (???) was noticing her ~aesthetic~ drinking problem she just stopped having it is a bit of a kick in the teeth to people who do have drinking problems and can't just stop having them, since that's not how it fucking works.

[acemarkey]

is this anything

[destielmemenews]

"The "Spider-Man" movie star launched BERO on Wednesday and said in a press release, "For me, BERO is personal. After two years on my sobriety journey, I wanted to create something that reflected my lifestyle and values."

Holland said in the annoucement, "This beer isn't just for those on a similar path, but for everyone who appreciates quality, craftsmanship and living life to the fullest. BERO delivers the taste and experience of a great brew, and never asks you to settle for less.""

source 1

source 2

source 3

[queermentaldisaster]

Soap never really got a chance to know his dad. He was always out and whenever he was home, he was stoned and drunk off his ass.

His mother tried his best to raise him and his 3 sisters, but she was basically doing it on her own.

Soap was always more self-sufficient anyway, so his mother mostly left him to his own devices. That wasn't a problem, because she always tried her best to help him when needed.

Over the years though, he's grown to resent them both. His father was never there, and he feels like his mother threw him to the side since he was ‘less trouble than his sisters’.

He still can't trust anyone with parental energy outside of the field. Price and Laswell have to talk to him as his superiors, unlike how they talk to Ghost and Gaz.

Maybe that's why he was so worried when he found out Ghost was pregnant. He thought he'd turn out to be like his parents. But now, standing here, holding little Tommy? He knows he'll never be like them. He's going to give all of his attention to each and every one of his kids, and he's never going to be the mean drunk his father was. Hell, he's gonna try not to drink unless it's a celebration.

[bloodbluepearl]

a glorious, magnificent, red hot cyst!

(sort of on the same thing as this post i made. references below the cut)

alcoholics anonymous sobriety chip- this is what's under the axe. its kind of hard to see without zooming in, tho

the back... not included in the piece but has the bit of the serenity prayer (used in 12-step programs) thats on there

& the screenshot of the game i traced over the mouthwash bottles from!

[maladaptiveobsession]

“Too Little, Too late”

Synopsis: How the DOL LIs react to the player’s suicide

pt. 2

Contains: gn!reader, male!love interests, suicide by pill overdose, death, necrophilia, alcoholism, self-deprecation, dissociation, depression

Words: 1163

A/N: Do not take the content warnings above lightly. The character’s sentiments and the player’s death is described in detail. If you are sensitive to any of these topics, please take care. I had intended to write for some other NPCs as well, but quickly realized I was not in the mental space to continue. I was using my personal experiences as reference, so my personal feelings and the feelings of the characters blended together and I just got overwhelmed.

Alex:

He’s confused and distraught. Why didn’t you confide in him? Was he not enough? He thought you were doing better. What did he miss? What could he have done differently? There’s nothing he wouldn’t have done if it meant keeping you.

He’ll never recover. The farm is neglected, unable to handle the grief. Everything reminds him of you. He blames himself and spends every moment missing you. Alcohol is his only solace and perhaps his demise as well.

Avery:

He’s initially enraged. You repay him by attaching a tragedy to his public image? Above all, he feels betrayed. Anger eventually morphs into bitter acceptance. He tries to pretend otherwise, but he’s affected deeply. He’s not sure how to feel, but it’s wrong all the same. Never before had he grown so fond of any of his arm candy. It was too little, too late by the time he realized he wanted more than a transactional relationship. He continues to attend functions, but his smile is tighter and his eyes are weary. Any attempts to replace you fail miserably. Nobody smiles like you or laughs like you. Nobody is talented enough, smart enough, or obedient enough.

He won’t forget you, but he can’t afford to lose his image, so he grieves in silence. He wonders if things might have been different had he realized how he felt sooner. What might things have been like had he put a ring on your finger? It’s only now in your absence that he understands the joy you brought him. He should have paid better attention to his plaything.

Eden:

Inconsolable is the only way to describe him. Little has brought this man to his knees or made him tear up, but discovering your cold, lifeless body broke him. He’s pissed at you for leaving him. He’s pissed at himself for not noticing the signs; he should have known better than any other. Among the anger, he’s confused. Why didn't you ask for help? There’s nothing he wouldn’t have done for you. What could have been so bad that you would want to kill yourself? Was he so awful? He begins to reflect on his behavior towards you. He knew your initial meeting was unsavory at best, but he had changed since and thought you were healing. He spends every waking moment criticizing his past actions, wondering what might have been had he treated you better.

He considers taking his own life but chooses to live through the anguish as punishment. He tries his best to overcome, but nothing is the same without you. He misses you deeply; the comfort you brought him left so easily. If only he had cherished you more and taken better care of you. If only he had just listened. You should still be cozying up against him on the loveseat, but you’re not and never will be.

Kylar:

Kylar initially denies your death. You’re not dead. You’re just sleeping. As time goes on, he becomes hysterical. You must be ignoring him to get his attention! You’re okay! You’re fine! Nothing is wrong! He’ll defile your body, having convinced himself you’ve entered a deep sleep. The smell will force him into clarity. He knows that smell well; he would recognize the stench of rotting flesh anywhere. He’ll fly into hysteria, falling to his knees and wailing. His darling is gone forever. Why did you do it? Was he not good enough? He must have neglected you or upset you somehow! He should have paid attention. You would be here otherwise. You were unhappy, but he was too selfish to notice! This is all his fault!

Unlike all the rest, Kylar cannot live without you. He takes his own life shortly after, collapsing over your decomposing corpse. If you squint, it’s nearly a romantic sight.

Robin:

Finding you in your bed, cold and stiff with pills spilled haphazardly across your desk, was the worst moment of his life. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t break down and cry. There’s no confusion. There’s no need to ask why; he knows. He’d spent ages wondering how you managed to keep yourself together. How you smiled so brightly in such disturbing circumstances escaped him. It’s only now that he realizes just how much you were suffering, quietly enduring for his sake. He should have seen the signs—the smile that never reached your eyes, the flinching, the lethargy. Things you couldn’t hide that he should have seen but simply didn’t want to acknowledge. It wasn’t a conscious decision by any means, but rather a subconscious attempt to avoid uncomfortable truths in hopes they’d resolve on their own. Had he reached out to you and comforted you, he’s pretty sure you’d still be here. Your blood is on his hands.

Robin will never be the same, and there’s a chance he’ll follow your example. In another timeline, he decides to keep fighting, leaves town, and never looks back. Another version is swallowed up by grief and grows darker and vengeful. Regardless of his path going forward, he lives in your memory. Time heals, but the scar won’t fade.

Sydney:

He is beyond distraught. Why did you do it? Why did you leave him? Was he not enough? He misses you severely. Every waking moment is torment without you. Your loss sends him plunging deeper into the church’s grasp, regardless of purity. If the church is responsible for your passing by any measure, Sydney severes ties completely. Unlike all the rest, Sydney has a loving parent to comfort and guide him through the grief.

Ultimately, Sydney will move on. He carries your memories with him. Your death still haunts him, but he’ll eventually find somebody to start a family with. He’ll convince himself he’s happy, but he can’t help but wonder how things might have been if you were by his side instead.

Whitney:

Numbness engulfs Whitney. Nothing feels real anymore. Is he even real? How can you be gone? He still has the bruises you gave him from your last encounter, so how can you be gone? Anger bites at his mind, but the static sorrow washes it away. Without you, nothing matters. He blames himself. He was a terrible person to you. Of course you would choose death over somebody like him. Even if he was changing for the better, that doesn’t take away what he did to you.

He washes down the grief with liquor. He doesn’t live; he drifts, too tired to even take his own life. He’d spend the rest of his life punishing himself for failing you. With enough time, he might snap out of that fog. Of all the rest, he is the most likely to use this trauma to make much-needed changes around town. He’ll stay single, too afraid of failing yet another person, of being hurt, or of betraying you. Whitney will ultimately be okay, even if every day is a challenge and every memory is overwritten with regret.

[dawntainbobbynash]

This is why we're leaving, Tim. You've gone too far. I am worried about the boys-

God on a wheel, Ann. That was weeks ago. And it was one drink, ok?

[incorrectbatfam]

That’s sucks about the nsfw thing but I have to say I hope Trump wins because Harris is for more gun control which doesn’t do crap except make it harder for legal guns to get out, gun control doesn’t do crap to stop criminals from getting them

I'd argue differently because it shouldn't have been so easy for me, a mentally ill alcoholic, to legally get a license and firearm myself

[gray-ace-space]

has anyone else had to deal with the absolutely bonkers assumption that asexuality is antithetical to enjoying alcohol?? like. how are these two things connected. is it just infantilization, like i'm not supposed to like "adult" things? is it the belief that aces don't know how to "let go" or "have fun"? hi, i'm ace and i drink probably a bit too much! this is something people (allos) are often surprised by! my relationship with alcohol is not like, something i'm proud of, it's a potential issue in terms of my mental health, but it's still an authentic part of me. i don't tone it down, just like i don't tone down my asexuality, and i'm not planning to.

and now a survey bc i'm genuinely curious. (ace here includes every kind of acespec!)

rb for sample size

edit: the reasons for your not drinking (age, health issues) are not relevant here. if you don't drink, say you don't drink. if you haven't tried, say you haven't tried. whether you're underage or not is none of my business.

also if you quit drinking because it was a problem for you - you are very cool and strong! but also the "have struggled" option applies to you

[sibmakesart]

luckily there was a half bottle of cooking wine left in the fridge