#turned to YouTube since my audiobooks are resting

[radiohimalaya]

Sometimes a white guy rattling off speaking fast can be comforting for a guy like me

[subject-beam]

Would you recommend watching Earthsea, reading the books or both?

DO NOT WATCH EITHER ADAPTATION OF EARTHSEA (american miniseries and ghibli movie). I cannot stress enough that they are both supremely terrible adaptations of the books, as well as being arguably quite bad as standalone pieces of media. I believe there are some well-liked radio drama adaptations available on Youtube though!

But really, I can’t recommend the books enough. A Wizard of Earthsea is widely beloved for a reason, but imo the rest of the series as a whole far surpasses it. There are good audiobook readings as well, though I’ve found that they can be hard to follow in that format. They’re short but dense so they move at a quick pace and it’s easy to miss significant details and implications.

The first trilogy (A Wizard of Earthsea, The Tombs of Atuan, and The Farthest Shore) is very episodic. Each concerns the coming-of-age of a different adolescent protagonist, so you could really read them in any order; chronological is probably the most rewarding, since the protagonist of Wizard is a major character for the whole series, but if you’d prefer to read a book with a female protagonist and/or have a penchant for slow-burn psychological drama, I’d start with Atuan. It’s my favorite book of the first trilogy (and also the shortest!)

The second trilogy (Tehanu, Tales From Earthsea, and The Other Wind) takes a sharp turn into darker, more mature subject matter. It’s messier than the first but far more complex and thematically rich. Sex becomes a major theme—not in the GoT “high fantasy that FUCKS” sense but in the sense that it deconstructs the patriarchal and erotophobic social structures that are presented uncritically in the first trilogy, and often taken for granted as the foundations of high fantasy worldbuilding. These you need to read in chronological order, as they’re far more dependent on your knowledge of the previous books, though a friend of mine has confirmed that Tehanu (my favorite book of the series and one of my favorite books, period) is still powerful as a stand-alone novel.

The illustrated “Books of Earthsea” omnibus also includes the four short stories in the series, two of which she wrote before Wizard (“The Word of Unbinding” and “The Rule of Names”) and two which she wrote after The Other Wind (“The Daughter of Odrin” and “Firelight”), as well as the essay “Earthsea Revisioned.” I highly recommend reading “Revisioned” after Tehanu, as that’s when it was written and that’s the book it chiefly concerns. I read the short stories in chronological order after finishing the novels, which offered a nice retrospective microcosm of the development of the whole series. Whatever you do, save “Firelight” for last.

[rigelmejo]

Little things I did recently:

Listened to 20 minutes of Silent Reading chapter 1 audiobook, twice. Understood more the 2nd time around. But I'm relying on remembering the plot to follow the description heavy portions. The dialogue portions I can follow almost all details, so they help me identify which scene I'm listening to. Exciting and humbling. Exciting because I CAN mostly follow the audio Drama now (i listened to a bit last week) whereas in the past I was lost with nl descriptions to orient me and limited comprehension of comversations. But humbling, in listening to the audio BOOK now, because back when I was reading modu as chinese practice I was Very Familiar with the descriptive words and the descriptive paragraphs were how I guessed what scene I was listening to (compared to chinese chapters I'd already read before and looked the words up). Where now, the descriptive words have faded from my mind, and are the harder parts to grasp the meaning of now. I think that...overall, my chinese listening is Better now than it was 6 months ago. But I can tell that the reading-only vocabulary I've picked up is much rustier in my memory, and much harder for me to recognize in listening with no hanzi to look at for reference.

Read 5 panels (chapters) of 19天. Ended up looking up 聚会 because I couldnt remember the "gather" hanzi was pronounced ju. For some reason I kept thinking it was zi like purple 紫. But no, it was ju, for gather: 聚集 gather (juji), 聚会 (juhui) reunion. Again, I recommend that manhua if you like funny, physical comedy, slice of life. It's fun, and even if you can't read something then the pictures have a lot of the comedy anyway.

Watched 40 minutes of qi hun (hikaru no go cdrama adaptation) in only chinese. NO subtitles. First time I tried watching a show with zero subtitles including no chinese subs. I've been listening to audioboks with no text recently though, so I guess I felt I might as well try a show with no subtitles. Hikaru no go is on iqiyi youtube free (still free thank goodness), and iqiyi is one of the channels that has no hard chinese subs - you can turn on english or chinese subs, but they arent pre-made on the video. It was really cool to try! 1. I understood almost every detail! I got lost when Chu Ying said some "sayings" to kid Shi Guang, and when Chu Ying explained playing go I only understood him saying the size of the board/placement number choices, I was confused about the rest of the explanation.

I didn't understand a few lines kid Shi Guang said, but he's speaking like a kid muffled and quick during those lines and I got the gist. It was really exciting just being able to WATCH the scenes, my focus not half torn on the subs. To actually hear how the lines are said, without translation changes. Some words I could guess from context like xia qi 下棋 for play go, since Chu Ying keeps saying 我想下棋。 and shi guang keeps saying to stop crying ToT. But I do think I could have guessed the parts I didnt grasp, like Chu Yings "sayings" if Id had the chinese subtitles on and saw the hanzi to help myself figure out what he meant. So I may rewatch the episode with chinese subs. But since this summer is about improving LISTENING COMPREHENSION, I am just pretty exciting it went so well. Also the show is just so comforting. Id totally forgotten Shi Guang's little intro where he explains what the show/journey will be about!

I wonder if they dubbed the show? I assume they dubbed it, probably, since most cdramas do. But kid shi guang and the other kids talk pretty natural sounding (not like trying to sound "acting" if that makes sense, with clear projected enough voices), which reminds me of To Dear Myself with zhu yilong which either used audio filmed During Scenes or instructed the actors to dub themselves speaking more realistically (i dont remember which, that show just had a Very realisticly visual audio and acting feel). Adult shi guang also has a very natural sound to how he speaks, like the sound of his voice we hear is how he would sound if talking to regular close friends.

In Japanese Glossika app, I've studied 1129 sentences, done 9137 reps (repetitions of sentences), and studied 24:39 hours. Glossika labels me in High A1 14.7%. While I've still got some significant complaints about the new glossika app japanese course, my stubbornness to complete all the fucking sentences and judge for myself how good/bad it is has definitely Motivated me to Study japanese more. I've studied those 24 hours in the past 3 weeks, so a little over 1 hour a day of studying on average. Thats way more than the ZERO time per week I was spending on japanese, and its audio so I've been able to do it with my regular life schedule.

(Truly glossikas Only Unique benefit to me is the listening mode, so I can press play and it gives me new sentences and reviews at time intervals it schedules on its own, so i do not have to put any effort into figuring out what to do next or take time away from other activities to constantly click my screen for an hour... i can just click play new, or click play review, and continue on with my life knowing I'm learning some new stuff and reviewing things i need to. If anything else fucking had this feature id jump to it instead. Clozemaster Kind of had this feature - and i paid for a while just for it - but clozemaster's Radio mode did not split new from reviews and did not spaced repetition schedule the reviews so there were a LOT of days i wouldnt hear new sentences or id review the same 300 sentences instead of different ones out of the 2000+ i had studied).

I am curious if the Chinese Glossika app course is better? I know the old cd chinese course was fairly good, as learner reviews mentioned some alternately worded things but nothing worded Wrongly. So if the new chinese app course, please please please, just used ANY of their people on staff who know chinese (like the maker of it) to human translate, then their chinese app course should be one of the app courses with the LEAST errors. Since its a language they, presumably, have the most access to human translators for. And im curious if therefore i could study using it. Or vice versa, if the new chinese app course is trash id like to review how fucking far their quality has tanked. I recognize more chinese than japanese, and i'd be able to tell within 500 sentences roughly what the error rate is in the chinese app course.

[moss-reads]

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

Rating: 4.5 ⭐️

"Sorcery of Thorns is a fantasy standalone about Elisabeth, an orphan who was raised in a library that mistrusts sorcerers, and houses magical grimoires that sometimes turn into horrific monsters, but when she is accused of a crime she didnt commit, she must turn to her enemy, a sorcerer named Nathanial Thorn and his strange servant, in order for them to save the great libraries and the world with them" (paraphrased description from the back of the book)

This has been on my tbr since about maybe march of last year when i got back into reading, and picked it up as a birthday present for myself and i think it lived up to the hype!

I found the characters compelling and fully realized, and i loved that it was a high fantasy plot With a romance but wasnt purely a romance and isnt part of a 5 book series i have to devote too much of my time to,and i can see myself coming back to it again later for a reread

I saw a few booktubers i like on youtube recommend it and give it 5 stars, but for me since i was unable to finish it until i downloaded the audiobook, and i wasnt fully invested until almost 20 chapters in, it sits pretty well at 4.5

Also as far as the audiobook goes, Emily Ellet is a FANTASTIC narrator and really brings Rogerson's writing to life and it overall felt cozy at times

Overall i really enjoyed this, and i'm interested in reading more from Margaret Rogerson's catalog! I'm definitely going to pick up the sequel novel as soon as i can

spoilery thoughts under the cut!

I will say that i didnt feel much interested in the story until chapter 20 even with the action and the plot brewing, cause thats when Elisabeth stepped into a library again and also around the same time Nathaniel's manor because the descriptions the author writes are just so incredibly magical and feel like you're in the story, and i loved when it became a mini heist moment, and i am glad that they did introduce the big bad early on so that we could sit with the rest of the world and characters more!

The romance also could have been fleshed out a bit more, it was a bit insta-lovey and i felt more drawn to the character of Silas more than anything so it fell to the side for me, and i think the end was the only thing that made me wish it was maybe a duology cause i wanted more of him! I also loved that Elisabeth was smart yet didnt have all the answers, but wasnt so clueless that every plot point you predict she just absolutely doesnt see coming, which i think was refreshing for stories like this

I did find the explanation of her powers and how she was basically a human booklouse a bit brushed over and confusing, but again its a standalone and i'm glad they addressed it at all

I do think the same about it being confusing or not fully explained can be said for some other elements though i do stand by that the characters were very realized! The pacing also could be a bit too fast or too slow at times, but it definitely didnt make it less enjoyable once i was more invested in the story!

tldr: i love this story about a librarian and a sorcerer and their emotional support demon saving the world

[phoebe-ofthe-cosmos]

going through my tweets from last fall to try to remember when i read each book in the series

i did them on audiobook last year. i remember it took me a while to really get into acotar (i went in verrry skeptical because it was a "tiktok book" and i'm pretentious). goodreads data tells me that i finished normal people in early september and then there's a bigggg gap until my next logged book at the end of december (which was the first book i read after finishing acosf). so i think i started acotar sometime in september, but i don't have an exact date (i curse my past self for being too stuck up to log audiobooks in goodreads).

i think this tweet was right around when i finished acotar, although it's possible i had finished it and moved on to acomaf by this point:

i loved the action-packed, fast-paced ending of acotar and so even though it took me a while to get through that one i started acomaf right away. i did acotar on audible with a credit but did the rest of the series on youtube because i'm broke, so definitely by november 5th i had started acomaf:

november 6th 2022 is when my brain broke irreparably:

november 7th is also when the first acotar memes/fan arts start showing up in my camera roll.

i ended up extending that ban from 3 days to a "weekends only" rule. i proceeded to spend all weekend every weekend in november holed up in my bedroom knitting and listening to these books. i began to structure my weekends around listening to them. i spent my entire week looking forward to friday night. if i had to do something on a saturday or sunday i did it as early as possible to maximize my available listening time. as soon as i could, i closed myself in my bedroom for 4-6 hours every weekend night to listen.

there's a great text post in my drafts from november 14th where i talk about how mentally ill these books were making me (and to be clear i consider this a good thing, as frustrating as it was, because this was the first book series i'd read since middle school that was making me feel this way and isn't it incredible that a story can affect someone so deeply??). at this point if i wasn't listening to the audiobooks, i was listening to midnights by taylor swift. that album and this book series are inextricably linked in my mind, i can't hear a song from midnights and NOT associate it with some plot point or character from the books. i couldn't sleep. i would wake up sweating and gasping for air in the middle of the night thinking about feyre or lucien or cassian and simultaneously have a song from midnights stuck in my head. i couldn't turn my brain off EVER because these two pieces of media were consuming me. the shared starry nighttime aesthetic of midnights and acomaf absolutely did not help this.

i remember i did acofas right around thanksgiving, because that book (heavily) influenced me making up my mind about having a baby someday and it was after coming back from seeing our families for the holiday that i told my bf about it. i have a picture in my camera roll from november 26th of the physical copies of the books that i'd bought. i remember that the youtube video i listened to acofas on had a chunk of a scene missing and i had to read my physical book to fill in the blank.

and then by the end of november i was onto acosf, according to another text post that i have saved in my drafts from the 29th. here's a dramatic tweet from the same day, vaguely referencing my acotar-induced mental illness again:

i was much more normal about this book and was able to consume it in smaller doses and during the work week. i remember being so eager to know what would happen but also knowing that i was approaching the end of the ride and wanting it to last as long as possible. still pretentious about it though lol:

i finished acosf on december 19th, i think, because my next logged book in goodreads was started on december 20th and i remember going to the library immediately to check out books and keep the reading bug going. i don't think i've gone more than a day or two without a book in progress since.

it isn't an exaggeration to say that these books have changed me as a person and by extension have changed my life

[oswincoleman]

2020 Jenna Coleman’s Year in Review, part 2: Acting

Death Be Not Proud (Inside No. 9 series 5 episode 2)

Jenna Coleman secretly filmed this back in early 2019, before she started rehearsing for her theatre production of All My Sons. It took almost a year after that, for the rest of the episodes of the series to be filmed, and released. This remains the only film or TV role of Jenna that was released this year. And although the initial promotion for it appeared to show Jenna in the leading role in the episode, that turned out to just be a ruse to hide the secret of Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith reprising their roles from Psychoville in Inside No. 9, so her total screentime was only about 10 minutes or so. 

It was an interesting episode, though not quite to my tastes, and Jenna played her role brilliantly as always. With the way it ended, it was like a bit of a teaser of what was to come. 

This was her only appearance in film and television this year. Throughout her acting career since 2005, Jenna has always had substantially more screentime every year, than she did this year. The only exceptions being 2010 and 2011. Of course that is mostly not her fault; The Serpent would have been out much earlier without the pandemic. 

The Serpent

After 4 months of intensive filming for The Serpent in the latter half of 2019, Jenna Coleman felt somewhat burnt out, and went on holiday with her parents to the Maldives in January. She described her experience there in a travel article she published later in the year.

Filming for The Serpent finally resumed in February,after a 2 month break, because Tahar Rahim has been working on a film in the meantime. This long break however proved to be quite problematic, as after only 3 weeks of filming, production had to be halted, due to the spread of COVID-19, with just 5 days of filming left to do.

There had already been plans for events to advertise The Serpent, but these were canceled.

Filming for The Serpent finally resumed in August. But unlike what had been planned, of filming the last few scenes in Bangkok and Budapest, they were shot in a manor in the small English town of Tring. A set had been built up there to resemble an apartment in Bangkok. Everyone whk was working on it at the time respected health guidelines, and so managed to safely complete filming in 2 weeks.

So in total, Jenna only spent 5 weeks filming this year, and she wasn’t even required to film on all of those days.

A Separate Peace

But over the course of the year, with the pandemic making filming difficult to impossible, Jenna instead diverted her attention to acting in other ways.

Most notably amongst those was A Separate Peace by Tom Stoppard; a virtual theatre performed by multiple actors over Zoom. It marked a significant improvement over actors merely reading text out loud, was amazing to watch, and was strongly praised as the best alternative to actual theatre currently available.

Jenna played 22 year old nurse Maggie Coates, who tended to, and befriended a patient, played by David Morrissey, who arrived at the hospital without having any medical issue whatsoever.

It was short and poignant, and it was amazing to see Jenna in this role. But info have some criticism about the producers. With minimal promotion for it, the turnout could have been much better. It was announced to be the first in a series of virtual theatre performances like this, and it seemed as though this was sort of a test run, to see whether this was possible at all, to see whether the media liked it, or not. The reaction to it was overwhelmingly positive, with very great reviews praising it’s ability to at least achieve some semblance of theatre despite all the restrictions preventing live theatre performances. It was even praised as among the best of theatre in 2020 (https://www.broadwayworld.com/westend/article/2020-Year-In-Review-Gary-Naylors-Best-of-Theatre-20201207). 

After seeing those reviews, which were shared much more widely than the initial promotion for it, I saw lots of people who either wanted to watch the production, but couldn’t, as it was only shown once, and was not shared by the producers afterwards, or were interested in watching future installments of such virtual theatre performances. But the producers of this virtual theatre performance did not produce any other ones, despite initially announcing that they would. And even though it was understandable at the time, that they were unwilling to share the recording of the performance, as the money from the tickets did go to charity, and they did not want people to know that they could still watch future similar performances without having to pay anything, as they did not make any other similar production, it is perplexing why they never made the recording of this play available. 

Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition

As the pandemic prevented most types of acting for large parts of the year, Jenna instead turned her attention to several audio performances.

Way back in 2011, Jenna voiced Princess Melia in the English dub of the fantasy role-playing game Xenoblade Chronicles. 10 years after the initial release, Nintendo worked on a new release; Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition, with updated graphics, gameplay, and a whole new extra storyline, that prominently features Melia. It was released on the 29th of May 2020. 

Since Jenna rose to fame after she originally voiced Melia, the Xenoblade Chronicles fandom thought it very unlikely that Jenna would return to voice Melia again in the new release. But against all odds, she did return. It is unclear when she recorded the new lines for Melia, but I think it was probably in January or February this year, and Jenna has still never commented publicly about this role, or her reprisal of it. 

Though I haven’t played the game, you can watch all the cutscenes of the game here: https://youtu.be/Tsgy1h5x8VU and the phrases Melia says througout the gameplay here: https://youtu.be/l7oDcI8HmI4

Pressures, Residential

On July 12th, Esquire UK released a recording of Jenna Coleman reading the short story “Pressures, Residential” by Philip Hensher, in support of Unicef UK, as part of the Esquire Summer Fiction Series. It’s a creepy story told brilliantly by Jenna. It’s always lovely to listen to her incredible voice. You can listen to the story here: https://youtu.be/VSpc4H-z40A

The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies

On the 17th of September, the audiobook collection “Beatrix Potter: The Complete Tales” was released, in which Jenna read the story of “The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies”. 

Charlie Waller Virtual Carol Service

On the 7th of December 2020, the Charlie Waller Trust held a virtual Chirstmas carol service, that had been pre-recorded, and was streamed over youtube for those that bought a ticket earlier. As part of the event, Jenna Coleman read an extract of a Christmas carol poem by George Wither. 

Additional Comments

With a lack of projects this year and the last, and with Victoria series 3 not being recieved that well, Jenna unfortunately didn’t win any awards, and wasn’t even nominated for any awards this year. Even though I think she was nominated and won far too few awards for her recent work, she at least had managed to maintain a success of several award nominations, and at least one win every year since 2016. 

2020 has also been the first year of her acting career, since 2005, in which she didn’t officially get announced to have been cast in a new film or TV role, or had the certainty of continuing to play a role that she had already played, in the next year. 

Even though Jenna Coleman was involved in many different projects this year, overall, she did not have any work to do for the vast majority of this year. With the TV and film industry being shut down or at least massively reduced for large parts of the year, there might not have been that many roles for her to audition for. We know that Jenna went on two holidays, and she had shared a bit of what she got up to during lockdown in this article: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/fashion/fashion-news/g32374333/self-isolate-with-jenna-coleman/ But for the most part, it remains somewhat unclear what she did this year. We know she kept up French lessons for The Serpent, she did some gardening, possibly attended some photography courses, and possibly tried her hand at painting. She revealed all of that in May, and hasn’t talked about what she did with her time since then. 

There is a possibility that she had been working on renovating her new house in the Cotswolds for some time this year. And there is also the possibility of her having already started filming work for her secret new project; after all it remains unclear where she was during her latest Galaxycon Q&A session. 

Overall, this year has not been great for Jenna from an acting perspective. But 2021 will definitely be better! The Serpent airs on January on BBC, and will be released on Netlix sometime later that year. And then there’s also Jenna’s secret new project. Depending on what it is, we might even see that come out towards the end of 2021. 

[estellaestella]

Hello darling

I wanted to ask if you like to listen to music while you are making your gorgeous edits?

Yes, indeedy! I'm not super into what I'm listening to, so I'll turn on a song on YouTube and then let autoplay chose the rest. At the moment I get a good mix of Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, Selina Gomez, Lourde (sp?). Which is kinda funny coz my usual go-to are more like Adele, Sam Smith, Florence - but I prefer lighter, frothier music when doing edits. However, flying in the face of that, I'm currently listening to a rather depressing audiobook.

People's brains are such funny things. When the covid vaccinations started I kind of wondered, if corona got eliminated in the next few months what would I regret not having done? And I thought (1) not learning Italian (2) not reading more books. Which is a roundabout way of explaining why I chose to listen to The Brothers Karamozov , since that's been on my to-read list for the longest period (over a decade). I'm about 20 hours into the 35 hour file and it's pretty depressing. I'm basically sitting through it because I dont want to upset teenage me, who used to be a huge fan of Dostoyevsky's other classic, Crime and Punishment. Anyhow, I dont know how I dragged this music Ask into my love for Russian Literature in translation but there you go! I said I'm in a rambling mood, and ramble on I did. Here's a dark and brooding edit to round it off.

[I do believe this was my first edit. It's a re-edit of a post by monsieur chalamet, done with her permission]

[monomatica]

The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5 Stars

Wow. This book wrecked me. It punched me in the chest and in the gut and triggered many personal feelings and yes, I did cry. Hoang meshes tough issues and love together so well, because that is how life is. Life is not perfect, and neither is love.

Anna is a violinist experiencing artistic burnout after becoming an instant YouTube sensation, and her awful boyfriend suggests an open relationship. She sets up a date with Quan intending to have a one-night stand, but it turns into something much more.

The caretaking of a terminally ill parent, something I have experienced twice in my lifetime, the artistic burnout, the not being heard by her unsupportive family and squashing her voice down inside until it festered was so excruciating to read. I found it deeply upsetting and, at times, it was almost unbearable. But the sweet relationship and sexy chemistry between Anna and Quan is filled with hope, understanding and personal growth, and I found the book incredibly romantic and could easily read more about them.

A few details that I loved were the use of the dating app, watching documentaries over chat and her internet friends. As someone with several amazing internet friends, this really spoke to me and felt so contemporary and real.

Also, how hot is Quan with all those tattoos? Gawd damn. And how fun is it to see Michael and a glimpse of Stella from The Kiss Quotient? Love when characters from previous books show up.

– Thanks to NetGalley for the Audiobook ARC. The rest of this review is about the Audiobook –

I listen to a lot of audiobooks and there’s nothing more exciting to me than a full cast recording and especially if the book has multiple POV chapters. I absolutely loved the dual POV chapters for Anna (narrated by Natalie Naudus) and Quan (narrated by Brian Nishii). I think it adds to the experience of telling the story since we get so much of their inner thoughts and feelings. But I’m so sorry to say I didn’t vibe with Quan’s narrator as much as Anna’s. I think there is a slightly monotone quality to his voice and it’s not as rich and soothing as Anna’s narrator, or when she does Quan’s voice in Anna’s chapters he sounds a lot more sensitive and sexy.

However, once I got used to it the book flowed nicely and you get excited to hear what each character is thinking about the same scene.

[counterspin]

Autistic Burnout: Roughly Four Years Later

Three years ago I posted the first edition of this series. I am very pleased to tell you some things have changed over the probably four years since this all started. For one, my memory has improved. I can remember things from months and years ago, depending on the thing, and my working memory has gotten better. I still have bad days (days where an entire hour can be spent asking essentially the same question over and over because I keep forgetting the answer) but I've also gotten much better at identifying the bad days and not asking too much of myself. As predicted, I still don't remember much of that first year or the months precipitating my burnout.

Other things I've noted are continued issues with reading and newly identified aphantasia. I've probably had difficulty using my "mind's eye" most of my life (the easiest example is when you're playing a video game and you open the map, close it, and instantly need to open the map again because you couldn't hold the information in your head), as evidenced by the way my dreams work, but this year I finally learned the word for it and that I do have issues with it - because I'm finally playing video games. While I've wanted to play video games all of my adult life, last year was my first year with a console of my own (a Switch Lite) and towards the end of the year I started to have disposable income of my own. This encouraged me to look up disability friendly games to play, and in turn I learned the words to look for when figuring out if a game is for me - aim assist for my dyspraxia, quest logs and map markers for my aphantasia, subtitles for my cognitive impairments. I've played ACNH, Among Us, Spiritfarer, Immortals: Fenyx Rising, and tried a couple others this past year. I look forward to Bayonetta and Torchlight 2.

This past year was also the second year I read a book. The year before that, 2019, it took me months to read a single nonfiction book. In 2020 I read all of Peeps by Scott Westerfield in a week. I was really missing my old life, the eat books by the handful person I used to be, so I looked up the wisdom of disabled people who have come before me, I looked into what dyslexic people do to read. (If you take one piece of advice in all of this, it's that there's disabled people who have been where you are and know things you don't that can help you get to where you want to go.) I figured out that reading out loud, chunking (using pieces of paper to block out all but one paragraph on the page to keep you from getting overwhelmed or zooming), and reading while listening to the audiobook work for me. I got halfway through the sequel, The Last Days, before I realized I didn't want to finish it and dropped it, and while I've only read a Battlestar Galactica graphic novel since, I do have plans to read some other books from my past in the future. Knowing that it's possible alleviates the anxiety and makes it easier when I do get there.

Paradoxically, and yet predictably, I flourished during this first year of quarantine. I do laundry every week, as well as consistently wash dishes, manage trash, pick up the bedroom, but I also cook for myself. I organize my pillbox, I make weekly grocery lists, I've been keeping a journal, and I make monthly financial plans for myself. I watch YouTube videos of every length and can watch movies again as of this year. I keep up with over ten podcasts, varying from disease anthologies to comedy. In January of 2021, I experienced the most voracious want to experience new things, new food, new sights, new smells. I consider this notable because I had only let new things into my life in small, slow ways since the burnout. Being autistic, I acknowledge that I crave control to protect myself and also because it's part of being autistic. Opening myself up to the unknown is a huge step in feeling safe and stable.

These gains were hard fought. This past fall and winter were awful, with three months of it being spent in an ill-maintaining-ill-maintaining cycle that left me so tired I went on a liquid diet for a week afterword so as to not even think about food. In January, my family and I realized we had lost family members to QAnon and I accepted that for my sake my parents and maternal grandparents are dead to me. The people around me have hit another wall and have no emotional bandwidth to reach out anymore, leaving it to me (the one with bad memory and emotional object permanence) to manage the labor of reaching out consistently. I am still thriving.

Time has shown me I will remain cognitively disabled on top of all the other things for the rest of my life, but having the language to talk about my needs and leaning on the people who have come before me will help me craft the best life for me. I hope me talking about my experience helps you feel like you're not alone if you're also going/have gone through autistic burnout, or at least helped you understand that burnout is not a life ender. It's a life changer for sure. But my life is still worth living, and the labor spent figuring out how best to live it has been worth it.

[soysaucevictim]

Final week of current program and challenges.

A bit late to post, but oh well.

-

May 16

I woke up before noon, today.

After a lil bit of the usual, I made today’s Hello Fresh meal. Salsa verde enchiladas. Another dish that everyone enjoyed. Only real/constructive criticism was it could use more cheese, and I can completely agree. Still very enjoyable and well worth a reprisal.

After some dishes + YouTube, I got my exercise in.

First, today’s DD. 1′ raised leg elbow plank with EC (30″/30″). Took some willpower to get though it.

Second, Day 55 of the 60DoC. Level 3, 1′ rest. This was just a bit more breezy to get through. Not much to comment on, this time.

Third, Day 25 of the C&AC. 5x push-ups to failure. My numbers were 26-20-20-16-14. Did increment up a little, but also probably could’ve hammered the form better.

Last, Day 25 of the DSC. Nothing fancy again.

Much of the remaining day was spent chatting about useful stuff and gaming afterwards. Though still in the red, I did get to bed 2 hours earlier than night before. *Shrugs.*

-

May 17

I woke up around same time as yesterday.

First, today’s DD. 2′ o-Pose with EC. As always, it was a fun and meditative exercise to do. The focus on positioning and breathing is pretty zen - despite it still makes one tremble from muscle fatigue! :,D

Second, Day 56 of the 60DoC. Level 3, 1′ rest. Yep, those jacks hit the bliss ful space I love them for. So though I was a bit winded and worked up a seat, this was a very enjoyable workout!

Third, Day 26 of the C&AC. 7x20 shoulder taps. This was a bit more intense, but mission accomplished.

Last, Day 26 of the DSC. Like most days, just jab+crosses and swapping stance at 50. Nothing fancy, but also fun.

I spent some time chatting, listening to Sawbones, and working on some art. Got to bed later than yesterday... oh well.

-

May 18

Woke up about the same time, again.

Spent some time setting up a new monitor (to hopefully make streaming easier), chatting, made some dinner, before doing today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 100 jumping jacks with EC. This was well within my wheelhouse

Second, Day 57 of the 60DoC. Level 3, 1′ rest. I enjoyed this entirely because it was mostly half jacks (funnily, I think the DD was a good warm-up today)). Did reach that happy state and chased it with 3 more sets of bouncing on the spot. My calves will probably remember this. But still, it was quite fun! :D

Third, Day 27 of the C&AC. 5x push-ups to failure. 28-22--20-18-16. Just about manageable, although a tiny bit sloppy. :P

Last, Day 27 of the DSC. Same old, same old. Still fun, though.

Spent some time watching YouTube and getting some more work done tonight. Got to bed late, but a bit earlier than yesterday.

-

May 19

Similar time again, I suppose.

One of the first things I did today was the DD. 1′ plank punches with EC. I counted about 52 reps by the end. A pretty fun but a little awkward for clothing reasons to do.

I grumpily tried to help with DMV stuff and did some dishes after that. Was feeling really shitty and unmotivated as I did them.

Lost a lot of motivation to get things done. Overate pizza and whatnot... partly emotional eating, I’m sure...

But one thing that was nice was a sort of double-feature movie night with a friend. It was Turkish Star Wars (he hadn’t seen it yet) followed by The Princess Bride (I hadn’t seen it yet). A wild juxtaposition - but I enjoyed it as a welcome distraction.

Got to bed late again. I partly blame the very full stomach... but that was my doing. So, whatever.

-

May 20

I woke up after 1PM, today.

Meet with case manager today and talked with a peer advocate... which did feel like a nice emotional balm to start my day off. After some food and YouTube, I got going with today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 30 single leg deadlifts with EC. Pretty breezy, more-or-less.

Second, Day 58 of the 60DoC. Level 3, 1′ rest. Probably overate again before hand, but I think I waited long enough to manage this workout. Split jacks were probably the only real reason I kind of didn’t want to do it yesterday (what with bad headspace.) But oh well, done.

Third, Day 28 of the C&AC. 7x22 shoulder taps. Just about manageable.

Last, Day 28 of the DSC. Nothing new, but I do still enjoy it as a closer.

Spent a bit of time chatting, watching YouTube and working on some art.

Since the internet cut out... i did manage to get to bed on time. So that was nice.

-

May 21

I woke up before 1PM.

First, today’s DD. 30 knee crunches with EC. I changed how my legs crossed at 15. This was just about manageable work.

Second, Day 59 of the 60DoC. Level 3, 1′ rest.

Third, Day 29 of the C&AC. 5x push-ups to failure, last push-ups to failure day. I capped things at 30-24-20-18-16, this time around. This was pretty brutal, but I could manage.

Last, Day 29 of the DSC. Accidentally did an extra 20 punches because I swapped later (60) this time. That got notably tougher thanks to all those push-ups.

Like yesterday, I spent a bit of time chatting, watching YouTube and working on some art again. Got to bed obscenely late, but I felt productive!

-

May 22

I woke up a bit before 1PM, today.

One of the first things I did was some dishes and made the next Hello Fresh dinner for today. Chicken over garlic Parmesan spaghetti. Everyone loved this one. I think this one warrants reprisal, too! =w=

First, today’s DD. 2′ extended swings with EC. I counted 206 reps by the end, managed to count more for first half/side. This was a pretty fun one.

Second, Day 60 of the 60 Days of Cardio Program. Level 3, 1′ rest. Not gonna lie, I didn’t think this was going to be quite as winding as it turned out to be! But mission accomplished (Was listening to a The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy audiobook, which was fun)

Third, Day 30 of the Chest & Arms Challenge. 7x24 shoulder taps. Very manageable.

Last, Day 30 of the De-Stress Challenge. Nothing fancy and no over-counting this time. Fun work!

Did some cleaning, some gratitude journaling, and used a crisis text line… I was not feeling okay.

I got to bed exorbitantly late.

-

Summary of Experience:

A day late, but I finished my current regimen in May 22.

I rather liked the 60 Days of Cardio Program. Mostly since it was a good variety of impact/intensity levels, in terms of structure. I managed Level 3 and kept my rests to under 1′ the whole way through (with following breakdown)!

12 days with no/minimal rest

16 days with 30″

32 days maxing at 1′

The Chest & Arms Challenge was a good opportunity to focus on push-ups again. My final failure numbers were 30-24-20-18-16. Though it did get a bit intense, I think I did good enough in terms of form. (I opted not to swap the shoulder taps for renegade rows, this time around... might try that next time!)

The De-Stress Challenge, was very enjoyable! I did find myself looking forward to this one each day, that’s for sure! Most days I just did jab+crosses, swapping at 50. Occasionally just threw jabs or crosses 50/50, too.

[hello-thefatlosshabit-blr]

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Business travel can present some real challenges, but it is possible to come back home from a trip in better shape than when you left. Prior planning and preparation is the key.

Apply the tips I provide below and you will not only come back home fitter than when you left, you’ll won’t have to play catch-up when you return to the office.

While traveling on business, your mantra should be, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt

Good is not the enemy of great. A twenty-minute workout in your hotel room is much better than doing nothing at all.

It all starts with planning ahead, so that is where we will start.

Trip Planning:

1. Hotel: Visit the hotel’s website, prior to booking your room. Choose the hotel with the best fitness center by comparing photos of the hotel’s fitness center on the hotel’s website. Some hotels will also give you access to local gym facilities.

2. Bring your own gym: I always travel with the following items in my suitcase: 1) Wireless Headphones  2) Lifeline Power Up Chin-Up 3) Jump Rope 4) Resistance Bands 5) Sports Watch or Heartrate Monitor 6) Boxing Timer app (downloaded on my smartphone) 7) Running Shoes (I usually wear them on travel days) 8) Workout Clothing

BASIC PACKING LIST

3. Download Helpful Content: Download music and video content, for your workouts and travel days. You might also want to download some YouTube workout videos as well. There are lots of No Equipment Cardio Workouts and Resistant Band Workouts available. You can also download PDF documents to your tablet to do some professional reading during your travel days. There are apps available that can read the documents to you: a. eReader Prestigio (Google) b. @Voice Aloud Reader (Google) c. vBookz (Apple)

Travel days:

1. Exercise: Often times it is difficult to work out on travel days, but that doesn’t mean you can’t exercise. I make a conscious effort to walk as much as possible and take the stairs whenever possible. I will walk around the airport listening to an audiobook while I am waiting for my flight instead of sitting down. You are going to be sitting enough on the plane.

2. Eating: I recommend having a quick breakfast at home. If I am rushed, I’ll have a shake and a piece of toast. After I go through security, I’ll use my company credit card to purchase water and some snacks for the trip. I expense these items as my breakfast. Beef jerky and high protein, low carb protein bars are usually your best options. The key to not overeating is to log your food on the MyFitnessPal app.

Staying the Course During Your Trip:

1. Exercise: Whenever possible, wake up early and workout before beginning the work day. I recommend laying your workout clothing next to your smartphone. Place your phone far enough away that you have to get out of bed to turn it off. This will make getting up easier.

If the weights that the hotel fitness center has to offer are lighter than you usually use, you can make the weight feel heavier by slowing down your repetitions. You can pre-fatiguing the major muscle group being worked, for example, perform the dumbbell fly immediately before incline presses. Lastly, you can decrease your rest periods between sets to make the workout more challenging.

The simplest exercises to perform during a trip for each major body part are: 1) Legs: One-legged squats and lunges. 2) Chest: Dips between furniture and push-ups (using the resistance bands). 3) Back: Pull-ups using these straps that turn any door into a pull-up station (Lifeline Power Up Chin-Up). 4) Shoulders: Jack-knife push-ups. 5) Triceps: close-grip push-ups or resistant band triceps extensions. 6) Biceps: resistant band curls.

2. Eating: The key to not overeating is logging your food. It is especially important while traveling. Eating out is possible when creating a caloric deficit, but you have to take certain precautions. McDonald’s McMuffin® is my go-to breakfast when traveling. Other go-to meals I order in sit-down restaurants are small steaks with grilled vegetables or grilled fish fillet with rice.

Avoid sauces; they can contain a lot of unwanted calories. Some menus provide calorie estimates. You can usually find menu items at chain restaurants on the MyFitnessPal app (Google or iTunes), so logging it is quick and easy.

Many of us were taught from an early age to eat everything on our plate and not to waste food. Unfortunately, restaurant portions are typically larger than you need for a single meal.

As a rule of thumb, a portion of protein is roughly the size of your palm, a portion of carbohydrates is what will fit in your cupped hand and a portion of fat is the size of your thumb. A portion of vegetables is the size of your clenched fist, but I don’t put many restrictions on vegetables since they have a low caloric density, and are rich in nutrients and fiber.

If your order arrives at the table, and you realize it is more than you need to feel satisfied; ask the waiter for a takeout box. Place the extra food in it to avoid the temptation of overeating. The takeout provides a future meal or snack, depending on its size.

I recommend you limit the number of dinners you eat with your coworkers. I think one dinner to bond with coworkers over a couple of drinks is fine, but most nights, I would recommend you decline the offer. Explain to them that you are going to order room service so you can get caught up on your paperwork. Order off the menu. A steak with grilled vegetable is a great meal. Again, avoid any heavy sauces.

Staying in and ordering room service will allow you to be more productive and stay on track. The more you travel, the more important it is that you do this. Not only will you be healthier, you’ll be less stressed by travel because you won’t fall behind on your work. You can often fit in an additional workout because you can control your nightly schedule.

I believe if you apply these tips, you’ll find that staying in shape while traveling is doable. Just remember to, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt. This is great advice for any situation.

Learn more, Gym in a Carry-on – The Business Travelers Fitness Packing List

THE NO EQUIPMENT, NO EXCUSES WORKOUT

Discipline pushes us, motivation pulls us, but intentional habits keep moving towards our goals. Change your habits, change your life!

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Best wishes and Best Health!

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    Don’t let business travel prevent you from looking, feeling, and performing at your best. Learn some simple techniques and strategies. If you enjoy this article, please LIKE, SHARE, and follow us on Facebook. Business travel can present some real challenges, but it is possible to come back home from a trip in better shape than when you left.

[houseofvans]

VAN HOUSE PARTIES | TAKING FIVE WITH BRIAN EWING 

We’re taking five with Vans House Parties artist Brian Ewing who will be creating a one-of-kind art installation while folks enjoy the music of Taking Back Sunday! We find out about how Brian chills when not making art, his latest book recommendation, and what folks should expect tonight. Take the leap below! 

Don’t forget to RSVP for all the upcoming Vans House Parties events!

Photographs courtesy of the artist. 

What’s your favorite thing about summer?  That's a tough one! As an artist I'm spending most of my timed bent over a drawing table and wishing I was outside. Luckily my table faces a window that overlooks a tiny dog park. So I get to watch dogs poop, people scoop that stuff into plastic bags and then disappear. It's inspiring.

Other than that I get to travel. My girlfriend (Andria) and I just got back from New York, where we visited friends and family. We were there to exhibit at a convention (Five Points Fest) but we try to massage these trips into mini vacations. In July we'll be doing the same thing for a project I did with Kirk Hammet (guitarist from Metallica) at the Royal Ontario Museum in Canada! You betcha there hey! After that I'll be exhibiting in California at DesignerCon and in New York at NYCC. We'll turn those trips into more mini vacations with tiki bars, photo booths and hangouts with good friends.

How do you TAKE FIVE and chill out when you’re not arting? Panic! Fear! SELF-LOATHING! But seriously, while I'm freelancing for bands I also tattoo four days a week at Cauldron Tattoo here in Columbus, OH. 

Art is what defines me. So if I'm not "arting" I'm hustling to do more art. I get the most joy out of seeing an idea of mine go from a sketch to a finished piece. Whether it's a poster or a tattoo. 

I also have a small toy company with a friend - MetaCrypt. And I just collaborated with UVD Toys on the "Ghost Boner"! I drew it up as a piece of tattoo flash and it became really popular so I made a resin toy & enamel pin with UVD that we just released. I'm constantly trying to figure out ways to avoid getting a real job. To misquote "Lords Of Dogtown" - I plan to be on Summer Vacation for the rest of my life. So far it's worked. 

What’s something not many people know about you? I was born in San Diego, moved to Oahu, then grew up in Milwaukee, WI. From there I moved to Chicago to successfully drop out of art school after a year. Then I moved to Minneapolis, then Los Angeles, San Francisco, Manhattan and now Columbus, OH. I am probably not done moving. I've never had a drivers license and I hate condiments & cheese. Except for pizza cheese. 

I used to work in porn at Hustler magazine. Luckily they published Big Brother and I got to work on that too. One of my first freelance illustrations was published in Big Brother. I made sure that Hustler would be my last real job type job. It's been 16 years since I quit to go full-time as an artist. The first time I went to Disneyland - the Melvins took me! I'm left-handed. I'm a kutte-wearing member of the Turbojugend. I'm sure there's more boring stuff...

What’s the last book you read and would recommend to folks?  I read mostly books and articles on art and business. Wow...I'm really boring!!! Ugh...

I try to multitask while I'm working so I'll listen to a lot of audiobooks. Youtube has a ton of them for free. I'll mostly listen to classic horror by H.P. Lovecraft to keep me in the mood as I work on a project. Otherwise "Beastie Boys Book" by Michael Diamond and Adam Horovitz. Oh, and "Girl in a Band" by Kim Gordon! I highly recommend these books!

What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?  Don't go to art school - you'll never get accepted. Don't quit your job in porn - you'll never make it as an artist. Don't go into tattooing - you'll never succeed.

My mom was my biggest critic and eventually my biggest supporter. I grew up a million years ago in the 1980's & 90's. There weren't any examples of successful artists that we knew of. I auditioned and got accepted into the Milwaukee High School of the Arts. In my senior year, my art teacher pulled me aside and said "you'll never make it as an artist, so don't waste your time trying to apply to art school." My mom pretty much said the same thing. So I applied to art school! I went for a year and then dropped out because I was trying to pay for it all myself. Luckily I could with a small loan from my mom and grandma and all the side jobs I took on. The thought of owing that much money with no guarantee of a job terrified me. So I dropped out. Got several odd jobs ( I was a janitor and had to dispose of body parts) and then a job at a Kinko's where they had these things called "computers"! I used my job to teach myself graphic design and printing. That's when I began my poster career - I started designing posters for the local venue First Avenue in Minneapolis.

From there I moved to Los Angeles and found myself working at Hustler magazine on their 1-900 ads and scheduling the magazines. I was hired as an assistant art director and got fired the next day because one of Larry Flynt's relatives wanted a job so they got mine. 

A couple days later I got hired there again to work on the ads for various magazines. After a few years I wanted to quit. I was engaged at the time and my fiance told me to not quit because I'll "never make it as a professional artist." Ironically we split 3 months later. I quit Hustler on a Friday and started freelancing the next Wednesday. I've been working as a full-time artist ever since. 

A year later I got hired to design posters for the Van's Warped Tour (2004). (Where I did a poster for Taking Back Sunday.) I even got to go on tour with everyone. My job was to sign posters for 30 minutes a day and then watch bands. When the tour rolled into Milwaukee (where I grew up) I invited my mom to check it out.  

My mom got to see me do a signing and then we walked around. (I even got to introduce her to the guys in the Bouncing Souls!) I said "Look around. Do you see the posters everyone's holding? I designed those!!!" (Every day there were around 20,000 kids who attended the Warped Tour in whatever city it was in.) After that she understood I was doing ok as an artist and was glad I NEVER listened to the many times she told me to quit. From then on she was my biggest supporter. 

At her funeral many of her friends and coworkers told me how proud she was of me. That meant everything to me. Gah!! I'm starting to tear up.

The next chapter in my life has been tattooing. When I started out I had a girlfriend who was very toxic. She would constantly tell me that I was never going to make it as a tattoo artist and I should quit. Ironically we didn't last long. I'm starting to notice a pattern... I've been tattooing for 3 years now (under Mike Moses) and will be done with my apprenticeship in a month.

To make a long story longer - the WORST advice I got was the BEST advice. If you have people in your life that don't want to see you succeed and be happy - ignore them! Find people that support you!!! Take all that negative reinforcement and turn it into fuel to keep you motivated and going - even when those voices are the loudest and you want to quit.

FOLLOW BRIAN | WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM 

[onestowatch]

From Stefani Germanotta to Lady Gaga to Mother Monster: How a Star Was Born [WHERE ARE THEY NOW?]

Photo: David Crotty/Getty Images

“I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing or seeing me.” These powerful words were uttered by Lady Gaga in 2010 and seem all the more prophetic than ever some odd nine years later. 

The GRAMMY Award–winning singer and songwriter, Academy Award–winning actress, philanthropist, and political activist has paved out a path for herself to become one of the most pivotal figures in pop music and culture as a whole. In light of a year that saw a slew of acclaim, from the Academy Awards, the GRAMMYs, and beyond, we reflect back on how Gaga, Mother Monster, known as Germ to her friends and Loopy to her father, rose from a girl who would supposedly “never succeed” to a household name who regularly makes history. 

Photo: Evening Standard 

Born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta in New York City, from a young age she was urged to pursue her creative inclinations, picking up the piano at age four at her mother’s behest that she become a “cultured young woman.” Performing at a host of open mic nights and in a series of plays growing up, Germanotta would follow her passion for creative arts for the entirety of her formative years, in spite of rejection. Though she did make a small appearance in an episode of The Sopranos when she was 14, Gaga unsuccessfully auditioned for a number of New York shows. With an Oscar under her belt now, we are sure it is all water under the bridge. 

Earning early admission to Collaborative Arts Project 21, a musical theatre training conservatory partnered with New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts, at the age 17, the distinctive nightlife of New York City would become a wellspring of creative influence for the soon-to-be Mother Monster. Dropping out of school in her sophomore year to fully focus on music, Germanotta would make her musical debut with Grandmaster Melle Mel on the audiobook accompaniment to the children’s book The Portal in The Park, but more importantly, it was during this time she would form The Stephanie Germanotta Band. 

The Stephanie Germanotta Band, popularly shortened to The SGBand, would become a staple of the downtown Lower East Side club scene and the catalyst to Lady Gaga. Talent scout Wendy Starland would discover Germanotta at one of The SGBand’s shows, and subsequently introduced her to producer Rob Fusari, whom she would go on to date for a brief period and is purportedly the first one to call her by the name “Lady Gaga.” With a name taken from Queen’s song “Radio Ga Ga,” the music produced alongside Fusari would go on to catch the eye of Def Jam Records, and the rest was history, or so we would say if Def Jam Records did not go on to drop Gaga three short months after signing her. 

Following the unfortunate turn of events, Gaga would return to her family home heartbroken yet resolute to make a name for herself. Immersing herself in New York’s growing underground neo-burlesque scene, she would come to befriend performance artist Lady Starlight. Taking inspiration from ‘70s tribute acts and glam rock, the pair would adopt the name Lady Gaga and the Starlight Revue and present ‘The Ultimate Pop Burlesque Rockshow’ at venues around New York, as well as a set at Lollapalooza in 2007. During their time performing together, which continues to this day, multiple people would see the promise in this experimental pop artist, the likes of which included record executive Vincent Herbert, Akon, and chairman and CEO of Interscope Records, Jimmy Iovine. 

Akon, who had met Gaga during her time at Sony/ATV, where she wrote songs for Britney Spears, Fergie, and The Pussycat Dolls, persuaded Iovine to sign the then undiscovered artist to a joint deal record deal. This joint deal would produce The Fame. For those of you somehow unfamiliar with The Fame, it is Gaga’s landmark debut album and one of the important pieces of 21st-century pop. Yet, in spite of securing a record deal, some radio stations still refused to play her music, citing it as too provocative, dance-oriented, and underground. Gaga’s response? “My name is Lady Gaga, I've been on the music scene for years, and I'm telling you, this is what's next.”

The Fame proved not to be just a successful debut for Gaga; it established Gaga as an artist fully capable of unapologetically doing things her own way and having the world applaud her for it. Preceded by the singles “Just Dance” and “Poker Face,” the latter of which would go on to become 2009’s best-selling single in the world, The Fame would also receive Gaga five GRAMMY nominations and two wins, officially proving that boyfriend all those years ago oh so wrong. Critical acclaim and record-breaking would become commonplace for Gaga.

“Poker Face” broke yet another record, spending 83 weeks on Billboard’s Digital Songs chart. “Bad Romance” become the most watched music video on YouTube in April of 2010, and in that same year, Gaga became the first person with more than a billion combined views on the platform. She was the most nominated artist for a single year at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards, as well as the first female artist to receive two nominations for “Video of the Year” during the same ceremony. She entered the Guinness Book of World Records as the most downloaded female act in a year in the US in 2008. In 2010, Gaga’s first headlining tour, ‘The Monster Ball Tour’ grossed over 227-million dollars, making it the highest grossing concert for a headlining artist ever. The list goes on.

It was difficult to imagine Gaga topping the astronomical success of her debut, but then she released “Born This Way” in 2011, the lead single from the eponymous sophomore album. Selling more than one million copies in a span of five days, it would net Gaga another page in the Guinness World Record book for the fastest selling single on iTunes. The acclaim and awards for Born This Way poured in in similar effect to The Fame, but what is most remarkable is not the fact that Gaga managed to do it twice, or even four times with the release of 2013’s Artpop and 2016’s Joanne, but that throughout it all she remained completely true to herself.

Photo: Candice Lawler 

While vast sonic exploration exists throughout Gaga’s impressive catalogue, from the experimental aesthetic of her experimental underground club days to her sound in The Fame days to the more restrained poise of modern Gaga, her ethos has remained the same. It is an ethos centered around the idea that as long as you are true to yourself, you are beautiful and important, and it begins to explain just why so many people resonate with her as an artist. This is not pop selling you a perceived notion of beauty; this is Gaga telling you that “There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are.”

Beyond the realm of music, raising millions for charity and relief efforts, launching a nonprofit focused on empowering youth and community development, and advocating for LGBTQIA rights, Gaga has found the time to achieve another long-held dream of hers. Acting. Since first making that small appearance on The Sopranos in 2010, Gaga’s passion for the art form still burned all those years later. 

While she would appear in a few small roles in films during her rise to fame, it was not until 2015 that Gaga would see this dream fully-realized, appearing in American Horror Story: Hotel. She would also go on to return to the anthology series the next year in American Horror Story: Roanoke. However, chances are it was not her role as a supreme witch that left an impression but her landmark lead role in A Star Is Born.

A Star Is Born was the movie that proved we could somehow fall even in more with Gaga. A remake of a 1937 film of the same name, it captured the hearts of the critics and the public alike. From the impeccable soundtrack, which featured a whole host of Gaga songs to swoon over and cry to, to the performance of a lifetime, A Star Is Born cemented Gaga as an artist capable of doing it all. Co-writing and producing most of the songs on A Star Is Born alongside fellow star Bradley Cooper, the film’s lead single, “Shallow,” would earn Gaga her first Academy Award win for “Best Original Song.”

There is no one else quite like Gaga, and there likely never will be. Through rejection, dismissal, criticism, Mother Monster has gifted the world with lasting pop that will stand the test of time and all while doing it entirely on her own terms. So, whether you first become a fan of her from Lady Gaga and the Starlight Revue, The Fame, A Star Is Born, or you are reading this after discovering her for the first time following the forthcoming release of her sixth studio album one thing is certain. There will always be a place for all of you little monsters. 

[lovelyandmorbid]

1, 2, 8, 11, 15 :)

these are so deep I really have to think about them. 

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

mmmh my family quotes a lot of things included Clerks the Animated Series, Anchorman, commericals from the 1960s. But thats mostly my dad rubbing off the rest of my family. If you wanted to understand me? I think you would have to read fanfiction. There is nothing quite like it and I have spent most of my free time reading it since I was 12. Watch? Probably Red v Blue. It’s exactly my humor and I love it. Also Bake Off. I am very noncompetitive and thats what I would be like in a tv show. And listen, I am going to say the podcast Nancy. It so perfectly describes what its like to be queer and I cry anytime I listen to it. 

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

This is an interesting question. I don’t usually seek out writers because they think the same as me. Rather I seek out writers who show me something new.  I will say that I began to read memoir because I loved the interior of women’s thoughts. The first one that turned me on to memoirs was Crazy Brave by Jo Harjo. Probably my favorite is Just Kids by Patti Smith. Although neither of these women are anything like me. Both had children very young, both experienced homelessness. But I think I was so mesmerized by how women navigate and investigate the world. Where we are alike and where we are disimilar. One fiction book where I felt so connected to a character, even though we were nothing alike was Ivy Abereen’s Letter to The World. Its a middle grade book about a girl figuring out her sexuality while she suffers through relocation after a hurricane.  I was very different from Ivy, but the author could write so clearly about confusing gay feelings, and just being angry all the time when it feels like no one is listening. 5/5 book. 

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

Well when I began to listen to music I listened to what my brother listed to. I would say two of my parents where Green Day and Linkin Park. I listened to these as early as kindergarten. My first personal venture into music was Kelly Clarkson. Come Undone was huge when I was in 5th grade. In middle school I was pretty into Three Days Grace. I don’t really remember what I listened to in high school. Probably Imagine Dragons (i’ve seen them in concert 3 times). In college I went through a phase where I realized that I didn’t have my own music identity really. I got really into spotify’s discovery weekly. I would listen to 30 sec clips and decide if I wanted to get to know the song. I would then add it to a playlist called “experiment” which I was supposed to listen to for an hour a week. When I listened to a song enough times, I would either add it to “my songs” or I would delete it forever. This did not work. It was supposed to be capped at 100 songs and its at about 600 right now. BUT what I learned. I ventured a bit into electronic music and now I hate it. I need to be able to hear the instruments. I still recommendations for it today. What I landed it on was actually the music in Welcome to Night Vale. So I went from alt and punk rock to more indie rock. Now I mostly either listen to my music on shuffle or listen to showtunes (another staple in my life) but the last group I was obsessed with that got added was Harry Styles. When is he releasing new music??? To be honest, I don’t listen to a lot of music anymore. I mostly read audiobooks or listen to podcasts now. I also got back into Sum 41 and Fleetwood Mac recently (what a combo lol).��

11.describe your ideal day.

Wake up at about 9:30 am. I have nowhere to be. I eat a late breakfast. Something with fried eggs. After a prolonged breakfast, I decide to take a short nap and go back to sleep. A wake up in time for lunch. In the afternoon, I read a book, maybe take a trip to the library. Maybe I have an academic discussion with someone but I don’t have any pressing homework. I have a nice dinner (potatoes, or tomato soap, or poutine, or sushi). I watch youtube videos until about midnight and go to bed early. Or I have a few drinks at a bar with friends but I am home by 10. 

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

I love this question!!! okay. 1) Bridge to Terebithia- first book that made me fall  in love with reading. 2) Hope Was Here - my first favorite book. everything I like in a book. A new york teenager moves to small midwestern town and falls in love with it. The short order cook becomes her step father and wants to run for mayor against the local villain who has been major for like 20 years. She does everything she can to dismantle the local government and get her new stepfather in seat. 3) Hero by Perry Moore. Second favorite book. Also one of the early books that I read because it was gay. Angst! Gay! Superheroes! What is not to love! I am so sad that the author died after one book. 4) The Outsiders. I think I just like to suffer. All of these are sometimes or majorly sad but hopeful.  5) Crazy Brave by Jo Harjo. Got me interested in nonfiction. I now actively seek memoirs by poets of color because of her. (Just Kids is also a memoir of a poet)

Honorable mentions: Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Impulse by Ellen Hopkins, Just Kids by Patti Smith, The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin, The Color of Water by James McBride, 

[princessalethea]

Status of the Woodcutter Sisters

I’ve been putting off writing this post. When you read it, you’ll realize why.

Once a week or so, I get an email asking about the fate of the Woodcutter Sisters series.

The short answer: Get everyone you know to pledge their support to my Patreon. When I hit $2500, I will drop everything and finish writing the Woodcutter Sisters, as originally planned. (Seven books in total, Sunday – Monday…and yes, I know exactly what happens)

The longer answer: Harcourt still has the North American rights to the first three books in the series.

Back in 2014, I was dumped by my publisher and my boyfriend on the same day.

Harcourt had some big reorganization and everyone who ever worked on the Woodcutters left the company. In a way, getting dumped was a blessing–few authors have positive experiences working with a new editor after they’ve been “orphaned.”

It also paved the way for a project I’d pitched that they’d turned down: Writing a short novel based on what happened to Trix in Hero (a storyline they made me remove from the book entirely because “pacing”).

My goal was to finish Trix’s novel and use it to teach myself all the ways of this new-fangled “indie publishing.” I had launched my own small press back in 2005 (Nyx Books), but a lot had changed in the decade since I’d dipped my toe in the print-on-demand business. I did have a leg up, having owned a publishing company before and having a ton of contacts in the industry…but that also made it scarier. Because I knew just what I was getting myself into, and the superior level of quality I expected from my books.

And let’s be honest: mentally, after getting dumped, I felt like a Giant Failure. Plus, remember how 2014 was the year that a bunch of my close friends and family kept dying?

Yeah. One doesn’t exactly snap back from that.

It took a while to get off the ground, but eventually Trixter was published, along with Tales of Arilland (the fairy tale short story collection I’d pitched and gotten rejected) and a few other things. I even wrote a sequel called Trix and the Faerie Queen — not something I’d originally planned, but a plotline I realize I LOVED.

I started writing Thieftess (Thursday’s book). I even had a model do a photo shoot for Thursday’s cover. (Yes, we still have those pics. She is SO Thursday!)

I wanted to  get myself on better financial ground before I completely threw myself into writing the rest of the series. It takes a lot of head space to get into a series like the Woodcutters, and anxieties like “bills” and “utilities” and “credit card debt” and “car repairs” really chip away at that space. (I still have no car, btw. Haven’t for over a year.)

What I found out was: continuing to write in the world of Arilland wasn’t making me significant money. The reason? I don’t have the rights to the first three books. I can’t put them on sale, or make the first one permafree. I can’t offer them up for Bookbub deals.

I make 89.9 cents on every paperback copy of Enchanted sold (as opposed to $2-3 on each indie book sold). I get that money twice a year. And those books aren’t selling particularly well. Enchanted, Hero, and Dearest combined pull in about $2000 every six months. That’s not nearly enough to live on. The up side is, once the sales of those books fall below a certain threshold, I can have the rights back.

So you see my dilemma.

When I get my rights back for Enchanted, Hero, and Dearest, here is the plan:

–Reprint all of the books, with better covers. (I’ll keep the titles, because we’re in this too far to change them now.)

–Release an “author’s preferred edition” of Enchanted, that puts back in most of the 30,000 words the publisher asked me to take out. (A lot of this is about Prince Rumbold, which was published in Tales of Arilland as “The Cursed Prince.” A lot are deleted scenes I read on YouTube.)

–Audible is still interested in producing the rest of the series, when they are published, and Katy Kellgren is still interested in narrating.

What I am doing right now: I am writing.

I spent years teaching myself every aspect of indie publishing…and realized the hard way that I’d taken the wrong road by pursuing the Woodcutters. I ended 2016 broke, desperate, and still writing like mad.

I threw everything I had into my career, pulled out all the stops. Thus my recent (and awesome!) endeavors in Nocturne Falls, the “Once” anthologies, and The Simi’s ABCs book.

I also have plans to start a new series–comedy romance, like the books I write for NFU, but obviously more fairy tale based. In fact, I’ve seeded a bunch of characters and worldbuilding into my NFU books already…

Yes. I would like to at least finish Book Three of The Trix Adventures (Trix and the Fire Witch), but as of the writing of this post, my life is All Nocturne Falls All the Time. And traveling with Sherri. And narrating stories for ACX and IGMS. And doing about a thousand other things to try and bring in every penny I can, because I know how fickle this industry is, and I’m still not standing on financially solid ground.

So there you have it. The very long (and mildly depressing) answer.

I would love to be able to write the rest of the Woodcutter Sisters books. As a terminal optimist, I believe that one day, I will be able to. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

In the meantime…buy a t-shirt! Buy Trixter or Trix & the Faerie Queen or Haven, Kansas! Or any of my short stories or audiobooks! Review them! Buy them for your local library! Share them with friends!

And please support me on Patreon!

All the love in the world,

xox

Alethea

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from Status of the Woodcutter Sisters

[emetoandotherthings]

You answered an ask about what Jude likes to watch/do when he's ill, and I was wondering if you could do the same for the others?

Your wish is my command!

Eden likes silence. He’d rather curl up and be in complete quiet so he can rest than watch/do anything. He will accept snuggling with Jude and light chat if he’s feeling up to it. He’d never had a belly rub before being with Jude, but he quite likes them now if his stomach is upset. 

Alba slaps on the latest romcom and sits bundled up in one of Leyton’s large hoodies, with herbal tea and candles on (if she’s thinks she won’t fall asleep and burn the house down!)

Leyton doesn’t get ill! Or when he does get a cold he tends to carry on as almost normal - reading, working, and doing whatever he needs to do. He’s never had a day in bed due to illness since he was about 8!

Eppie listens to audiobooks, on so low that there’s just an audible sound in the room. It’s a kind of vague human contact sort of thing. She also tends to have really really hot showers when she’s feeling ill, like the hot water will somehow wash away all the germs. 

Lindsey youtube hops when she’s ill (which really isn’t often) or hungover. Generally lying on her bed surrounded by pillows, with her laptop propped up in among them. 

If Jack’s intoxicated sick he tends to be pretty much unconscious. If he’s clean and ill, he lounges about in pyjamas and his dressing gown, whining and watching old kids tv shows because he essentially turns into a giant child who needs looked after. 

Blake likes watching the old Disney films - like all the classic that he knows every word to and can mouth along with, it reminds him of when he was little. He tends to huddle up on the sofa, covered in blankets cause he really does feel the cold!

Aiden will forever try to soldier on, but he likes to listen to classical music - preferably instrumental - and he just focuses in on, especially when he’s in pain - it’s like a sort of mindfulness way to power through it. Sometimes he just wants to be able to lie and feel sorry for himself and ill, and other times he wants to be held and have his hair stroked and just looked after generally.