#turned out long so I put it under a readmore

[ksclaw]

it's so empty when there's nothing around to fill the space.

I've had dogs all my life, and my latest two puppers are gone now. One I lost 2 years ago, the other only a few weeks ago. And it all feels so empty and hollow.

My mom is getting a new puppy next week. We both went to see a breeder with puppies, with the intention of perhaps finding a little companion for me. we both fell for a sweet little boy, but I know my mom is lonely too, so when she said she was tempted to get him for herself, I told her to please, go ahead, he is a sweetheart I know he'll be right for her.

We've been looking around for others for me, but I've had no luck so far. Another breeder was... Cold for lack of a better word. She was more interested in showing off what her adult dogs could do, rather than letting me actually see the puppies (they toddled around our feet while we talked and fell asleep under the coffee table.)

Another had one single scottie puppy, but I could tell that he wasn't meant to be mine. A week after we lost Sara, someone had lost their own dog, and they got that puppy instead. And a part of me thought "He was meant to be theirs, and that's okay."

I had another 'maybe' just a few days ago. Went to visit someone who had a few puppies, but she had four boys and one girl. I liked the girl best, but I wanted to think it over, and the owner had other people coming. So I thought 'if the girl is still there, maybe I'll give it a chance.'

But she had been taken by someone else the next day. So be it.

There hasn't really been anyone else since then. Nothing that felt like it could be right, or even a maybe. Nothing that makes me go "yeah I'd be willing to drive several hours to take a look."

It may sound picky, but I don't want a dog, just to get a dog. I don't want a random object.

Friends will know how much I loved my dogs. And there's a big hole where they both used to be. Their memory is buried in another part of my heart, but the rest is a big void that feels empty. I've had days where I start sobbing from just seeing someone else with a scottie, or even just a puppy.

My heart aches with the memory of going to visit the breeder who had Malik, and her putting him in my lap. And how I just knew that he was mine, and I was his. There's a special warmth you get in your chest, when you get that one puppy (or kitty for some), when they cuddle up in your arms. A feeling you get through out the years you get together.

Malik would check up on me. He would sit and stare me down, or he would come and hop up so his front paws were on my thigh, just to get my attention, to let me know he wanted something, or to check on me if he could tell I was upset about something. He was my little watch dog, my protector.

I want to have that feeling again. It's possible that it will be a bit before I get that feeling again. But even if it hurts, it's a feeling worth waiting for.

[lucabyte]

obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask

also your art is amazing

Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!

and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...

I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:

This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...

My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.

It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)

The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)

And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.

but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.

Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)

Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.

As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.

Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)

This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)

Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.

Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.

But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.

I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.

*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍

**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....

Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.

And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.

Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?

I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.

[tgcg]

ms paint. you know her. u used her age 8 to make loads of rainbow ovals all over the canvas and then scramble it with selection tool. now u will know her true powers with my handyrandy tips under the readmore. some will be pretty basic and others are very special.

this post has 8 cool trix to learn for you. enjoy and i may do another in the future if i remember/learn more stuff

some of it might be common knowledge. but its got some deep cuts. all tips have gifs to show process easily.

🙂 enjoy and i hope this encourages you to fuck around in mspaint more

soundtrack for this post (loop it while you learn for advanced learning experience)

TIP 1) the right click trick

left and right mouse click correspond to col1 and col2 respectively, which u can see in the top bar. this applies to all brushes and the fill tool like above. when using shapes col2 will be the fill colour (if you have solid fill selected). right clicking with shape maker will reverse the colours use on the shape.

TIP 2) right click eraser

this one is extremely helpful for lineart or add shading. the eraser always uses col2. so your eraser can technically be any colour. but here's where you get powers: right clicking with eraser will only erase onto col1, with col2.

TIP 3) transparent selection change a guy destination

the beloved transparent selection tool works based on what is selected as col2. so long as you have the correct colour as col2 you can make any image transparent and put it on top of anything else. and yes this works with photo bg as you can see.

TIP 4) the gradience

this one is a little more complex. you want to start off with any canvas size, and make as many diagonal coloured bands as you want. (protip: holding down shift makes a perfectly diagonal line with line tool)

then you need to resize the canvas to a width of 1px (make sure you resize by pixels, and do not maintain aspect ratio). then resize again back to its original width (or a different width i cant stop you). you will have your lovely gradience.

TIP 5) superimposter

so. you got a cool gradient and wanna put a guy on it. heres what i do:

i open a 2nd mspaint with same canvas size and draw whatever i want on there. i then pick a completely unrelated colour to my entire piece, and set that as the bg. you could use white, pink, geen, whatever you want as long as it doesnt appear somewhere else in ur drawing. copy the guy.

go back to your gradient tab. ensure that col2 is set as that bg colour you picked (lilac for me). have "transparent selection" enabled. paste your guy in. cue fanfare

TIP 6) advanced superimposter

the great thing about this method is u can put multiple gradients in multiple areas of the image. this is where it gets all japanese printmaking type of shit. ukiyo-esque

all you need to do is make another canvas with a new gradient, ensure col2 is set as the colour you want to replace, then paste your original piece onto the new gradient. now my guy has a soft fade. you can do this as much as you want. (you could even make a canvas with a texture or photo and paste your drawing onto there)

TIP 7) "sketch layer"

so as you now know, col2 is what is removed when you click "transparent selection". which means you can also remove any instance of a colour from ur drawing. which means you can have a unique colour for sketch layer and remove it from the drawing later. i admittedly dont do this but it is a great trick to have.

now combine this with lowering your dpi for smoother lines. may seem obvious but it helps. its like a free stabiliser whenever u want.

TIP 8) rainbow art

now this is where you can get dizzee rascal "bonkers". check out my small and shitty rainbow trick. you can select anything and hold down shift, then drag with left mouse, to turn that selection into its own brush. i even did it with a guy. and you can of course do this with a photo as well.

🙂well that it for now. hope you liked it thanks for reading now back to your regularly scheduled tgcg programming

[flufflecat]

The theraprism text reads: "YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER"

And the fine print is under a readmore because its very long:

"This contract is legal and binding. We reserve the right to use your likeness, face, voice, and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary. Sans soul, your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day, never making eye contact, not even processing that you have eyes at all. No amount of interacting will move them to a place where they can remember, in feeling, the thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together, each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river. You were birds. You were trees with roots entangled, drinking in the sunlight together. “Wherever we go next, whatever you choose, I will always be right there with you.” Thats done, buddy. Congratulations! You have chosen Bill instead! McDonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow M on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream “The fries, the fries, they don’t degrade in nature!!! It’s an immortal food!!! They will be in landfills long past our deaths!” Good god, the things I’ve seen. Me, who am I? Oh I’m Bill’s previous lawyer. He put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe. I used to be so hot! I was so fine! Now I’m fine print. Speaking of which, Bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object, a strange creature, a concept, a sentence, a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it. If at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul, you will be swiftly denied. Unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you, then Bill might want to come along. By signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food. It will turn to ash in your mouth. A fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you. Bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary, especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition. Soulmakeoverrr! Your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects. This has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die. Signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife, including but not limited to: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Big Corner, Flow State, The Dream House, The Reincarnation Processing Center, Axolotl’s Tank and Consequences Hole. Signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms. Signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend. They can sense what is gone. Cats are indifferent. Signee may experience occasional demon possession  from Horculus the Red, Plabos the Merciless, Morbus son of Mortem, Plaga the Oozing and other such common demons roaming Earth searching for weakened, empty vessels. Tips for ripping your soul out at home: watching Youtube commentary channels, attending an extended family event with an open bar, using generative AI and asserting that you are creating, turning a blind eye to human suffering, amassing more wealth than needed, purchasing a blue checkmark"

[erodasfishtacos]

The Body Factory (sexclubowner!h)

+

Hellloooo!

It’s been a long while since I posted here. I am still going strong on patreon with 4-5 one shots a month with anywhere from 8 to 14k words usually (sometimes more) + blurbs. I decided to released one of my new tropes, just part one on here and if it sounds good maybe consider joining for $3USD a month to read more parts of this and many others coming up!!!

prompt: yn doesn’t feel fufilled in her relationship and so her fiancé, Arthur, comes up with an idea to help but it doesnt turn out as either of them expected aka sex club owner!h

word count: 8k

warnings: under-negotiation, power play, mean h, choking, safeword, cheating but not really yet

🛑 there is a scene that could potentially be triggering so i am going to put a brief summary at the end of the fic if you’d like to check whether it’s a appropriate read for yourself. 🛑

Author’s Note: I have had this idea on my mind for months and have been so extremely excited to share it with you. It has really really been inspiring to me as I don’t have a trope like this. I hope you enjoy.

++

Arthur was nice.

Arthur was a safe choice.

It’s why when YN’s father introduced them, it didn’t really seem like an option to turn down the invitation to go out to dinner at the swankiest restaurant in town.

The date had been so incredibly unexciting that YN had no doubt that he would not ask for a second one.

They had nothing in common, the space was often filled with an awkward silence, and averted gazes to the walls or out the window next to their seating.

Arthur was nice.

Arthur was polite, he held the door and paid for the bill before walking her to her car with the chaste kiss to her cheek.

It absolutely boggled her mind when her father informed her the next day that Arthur had told her that he had an amazing time and was going to ask her for a second date in the next upcoming days.

YN hated the mere idea of disappointing her parents, she had already let them down enough with her career choice not to join the family business

:readmore:

instead becoming neonatal nurse, despite that being a massive accomplishment, it wasn’t praised because she didn’t go to be a lawyer like both her mother and father.

It felt like most of the time she was on thin ice with her parents because of her education and career choice, even down to the car she drove (they thought it was too sporty and not practical enough) which left her in a precarious position.

She relied on them for help with her student loans.

YN was still trying to get her feet on the ground with her apartment landlord just bumping up her rent by nearly five-hundred pounds, her car note, among all the other things that came with being an adult that she wasn’t financially capable of managing yet.

Her parents agreed to pay for her school loans.

However, it came with silet threat of staying in their good gracious or they would cut her off at any moment, they had threatened it enough when she got into nursing school and informed them that she would be attending, she must have heard them threaten her inheritance half a million times.

Arthur was her ticket back into her parent’s limelight.

He was fresh out of law school but he was incredibly intelligent, good at what he did, and had multiple firms vying for him to join their legal council but he had chosen YN’s family’s business because of their well-known reputation.

Arthur came from old money, which had given him an extremely privileged life and a headstart into success as soon as he was born.

He was the great-grandson of an oil tycoon whom he had reaped the benefits ever since.

The second date happened, then the third, then the fourth.

No spark.

No chemistry.

Atleast on YN’s end because Arthur seemed happy as a clam in their relationship, he praised YN to anyone who would listen, and was consistently bragging about their life to anyone that would listen to him.

He was nice to her.

He remembered important dates, brought her flowers to work, and had dinner made when she walked in the door on nights that she worked late shifts and he got home before her.

Time passes and they celebrate their first year anniversary, then their second, then their third.

On the fourth was when he got down on one knee and professed his love to her in front of all their family and friends on Christmas Day at an extravagant party at his parent’s estate.

The diamond ring that he slid onto her finger was ridiculous, too big to not just be flaunting wealth, and it wasn’t a style that she liked but she lied and told him that she loved it.

There was an emptiness in her chest when he proposed, she was teary-eyed but she couldn’t determine whether it was from happiness or dread that she was going to spend the rest of her life with the man in front of her.

It wasn’t his fault in the slightest.

Arthur was just Arthur.

He lacked depth, there was nothing behind his twinkling brown eyes beside law, money, and judgement.

Arthur treated her nicely consistently, they barely ever fought, and he never raised his voice at her.

When he got frustrated, he just got an exasperated tone and took time to himself in his office until he had calmed down enough to talk.

But that was once in a blue moon.

They’ve never had a blow-out because he was so agreeable and accommodating.

That’s exactly what was missing from their relationship.

YN didn’t crave toxicity, not one bit, she wanted a healthy relationship with positive communication, understanding, and all the things that make that up.

YN did crave excitement, humor, sexual tension, and the type of relationship that kept her on her toes, got her adrenaline pumping and making her stomach turn in nervous knots because she didn’t always know what to expect out of her partner.

Arthur was as predictable as a clock, had no spontaneity up his sleeve, and his sense of humor was nonexistent.

YN had a partner that she’d been with in college named Klein.

He wasn’t the love of her life, not by a long shot, but he had been wild, on the edge of insane half-of-the-time, and always kept their relationship exciting.

He would show up at her part-time cafe job, with a fake excuse to her boss about a death in his family, and he needed her support.

When YN would walk out to his motorcycle with him, concerned about his grandmother’s death, he would only smile at her, inform her that his grandmother has been dead for fifteen years, and that he was going to take her on a hike to see a waterfall she’d mentioned wanting to see once in passing.

But then there was their sex life, it was phenomenal and unlike the few half-hapzard experience she had before him.

He was confident, dominant, and introduced her to things that she used to not even have the nerve to say out loud let alone do.

It was him who introduced her to BDSM and they explored it for nearly two and a half years of their relationship.

YN did research while they were together and after the fact, she had even attended a few virtual training sessions to learn about correct techniques, safety precautions, and learning the dynamic of power play which engrossed her to no end.

However, when Klein requested they open their relationship, that had been such an unexpected turn-off that she no longer felt the connection that was there before.

The end of the relationship was amicable, they were still friends on social media and liked each others posts but it was at that point they realized they wanted different things and they couldn’t provide that to one another.

Where Klein wanted flexibility, uncertainty, and fluidity.

YN wanted regimen, structured, and a deep sense of connection with one person.

She did not want multiple doms nor did she want her dom to have multiple submissives.

She wanted all the attention on her, her dom would be absolutely captivated by her and be so connected to her physically, mentally, spiritually that they only want her.

Her ideal dom would never mention sharing.

Which isn’t to shame it because it was more common than not to have an open relationship, partner sharing, and swapping.

YN loved the idea of becoming comfortable with someone enough that she could be a brat which she wasn’t an easy submissive she had come to learn.

Her dominant had to work for her submission, sometimes she crumbled quickly and other times it took multiple punishments until the smirk was wiped from her face and replaced with tears on her puffy cheeks from the pinpricks of pain.

After Klein, she had gone on a few dates, some she even hooked up with but she never clicked enough with them to talk about anything like that.

And so she wrapped it up into a nice, neat box and tucked it into the back of her mind because she would find the right partner who would be compatible sexually with her.

Right?

Arthur and her had no sexual chemistry.

Arthur was just as polite in the bedroom as he was outside of it, he never put her in a unique position, and preferred to rotate between the missionary and doggy style.

He would occasionally go down on her but he didn’t know what he was doing so it didn’t feel like much of anything as most of the time he couldn’t even locate her clit.

Which meant fingering was out of the question because he didn’t even know the g-spot existed.

Anytime she managed to orgasm, it was from her own hand, getting herself off because she was past the point of asking him to try to do it.

Arthur did not have a high sex drive and YN felt guilty for being thankful for it.

He wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was trying, and it was so unsatisfying that YN felt like her skin itched sometimes because she hadn’t realized until Arthur how much she craved sexual intimacy with her significant other.

Again, Arthur initiated once a week, sometimes twice or sometimes not for a few weeks when his work is really busy.

YN was six years into a relationship of unfilled desire, disconnect, and a lack of satisfaction which she would have never seen for herself at only being twenty-nine years old.

The wedding was set for fourteen months away, at a vineyard on the coast of Italy.

It was decided by everyone but her as with most things she felt like nowadays.

++

YN had been scrolling through a blog post when something caught her eye.

It was written by a female who had a similar lack of connection with her partner in the bedroom but wanted more.

The writer had described that as soon as she asked if they could experiment with BDSM that their relationship had completely shifted, they were more in love than ever, and their sex life was more amazing than it had been in nearly a decade.

It was the motivation that YN needed to have the conversation with Arthur, with the hope that it would ignite a flame that had yet to be struck between the two of them.

YN loved Arthur, she wanted to be in love with him but she couldn’t honestly say she was at this point in their relationship.

Arthur had been surprised by the conversation, over dinner one night, if the way he sputtered red wine onto his crisp white button-up was an indicator.

His eyes had gone wide in a look of almost horror and he cleared his throat a handful of times while they discussed it in more detail.

“I just feel like it would be something fun to try out,” YN tries to keep it casual, to not let on to how much she desired this or knew that she would already love it.

“Erm, yeah. I would be open to it,” Arthur had agreed sheepishly, putting down his fork and knife.

“No, I do not want you to feel pressured at all! I just -” YN begins to try to soothe because she had not meant to get such a reaction of concern more than lust out of her fiance.

He chuckles kindly, smiling at her as he reaches across the table to hold her hand, “We can try it, if that’s what you want. I am open to whatever will make you happy, sweetie pie.”

Sweetie pie….

YN tried not to blatantly cringe every time he called her that.

++

It did not work out.

They did not even get a few minutes into foreplay when Arthur backed out, saying that he just didn’t feel like he knew what to do, and that he’d prefer if they just did their normal thing.

YN agreed, trying to swallow the disappointed lump in her throat because she didn’t want to guilt him in to trying anything he wasn’t into.

They didn’t discuss it again after that for a long while.

++

Arthur wasn’t blind to the shift after that night.

He now knew that he was not satisfying a need that YN desired and she had just seemed more subdued since he had called it off but was trying to hide it because he knew that she wasn’t trying to make him feel bad about not wanting it.

It had been on his mind though.

++

“A sex club?” YN’s eyes nearly buldge from her sockets, puting down her glass of water and ignoring the splashes it leaves on her hand because what had Arthur just recommended they try?

“Yes. A BDSM club or a kink club they call it. Maybe if I see other people doing it or we get into the right atmosphere, it will work better. At least off the start?” Arthur seems just as nervous as her, he hadn’t touched his food.

“And…I just…” YN was at a loss for words because this is just the most unexpected turn of events.

“Maybe I can learn from others. Really get good at it for you, you know?” He suggests, his eyes looking anywhere but at hers.

“Yeah, yeah let’s do it.”

++

The Body Factory was the club that Arthur had decided after doing his research.

He needed somewhere secretive, exclusive, and with iron-clad NDA’s so that no one could use this against him in his profession which was fair enough.

That’s where The Body Factor came into play.

There were guidelines to a membership:

You must make over a hundred-and-fifty thousand pounds a year.

You were sign and resign an NDA every three months.

A deposit of ten thousand pounds, it will not be refunded if any rules or regulations are broken.

You will send in health screenings every two months, proof of birth control (if female), and a background check.

You may not belong to any other clubs during the time of your membership at The Body Factory.

YN was quite shocked that Arthur had dished out that amount of money on the deposit for something that they weren’t sure that they were going to like nor want to continue to visit even though the membership spans for a year at a time.

“If we go, hate it, and decide to never go back, just consider it a really expensive date night,” Arthur had assured her with a chuckle, she knew of his wealth but even this seemed a bit like frivolous spending but little did she know it was just his desperation to make her happy.

++

The club was in the packing district of all places, tucked back in between massive factories, some that were still open and operating, others that had been abandoned for years now.

It was actually in an old clothing factory that had been renovated to resemble any other high-end club, from the inside there would be no way that anyone could even tell except for the incredibly high ceilings at some points.

However, the location in the city and of building choice gave a lot of privacy of entering and exiting, it wasn’t advertised nor did it have any sign indicating of their presence.

It was a maze of alleyways until the entrance appeared, a dingy door that was rusted and gave no indication of what was inside, someone walking past would have never looked twice or thought anything of the building nor the entrance.

Everything was matte black, dark, and dimmed.

There were occasional deep emerald green accents but everything was sleek, modern, and simple but in the most elegant way as they walked in.

YN’s heart was in her throat.

Where people going to be fucking right when they walk in?

Or people being led around on leashes right off the bat?

Arthur may pass out.

However, there’s a front desk, almost like at an office with a woman dressed in a incredibly fitted sleek black dress with smooth, curled hair, and makeup like it was done by a professional, she had to be a model because she was gorgeous as she smiled widely and checked them in.

They had to show their licenses, hand over physical copies of their screenings, NDA’s even though they had to sign them virtually too.

There were two security guards in black suits with earpieces standing by large, heavy dark oak doors with their hands crossed in front of them.

This seemed like a movie or just not real with how sophisticated this whole process was.

“Enjoy,” Penelope, the receptionist had chirped with the whitest, most perfect smile she’d ever seen.

Arthur seemed a bit awestruck for a moment and YN couldn’t even fault him for it.

The two guards move aside to open the doors, nodding for them to go in before closing them firmly behind them.

YN finds herself reaching for Arthur’s hand, nervous and shaky with new experience anxiety and adrenaline that she was finally getting back into what she wanted even more so.

There were people mingling, sipping on drinks, and all fully clothed.

It wasn’t until Arthur informed her, “Play starts at ten, the first hour is to introduce, mingle, meet.”

Ah, that makes sense.

It almost builds the tension, YN feels like she can taste it on the tip of her tongue.

They walk over to the bar, another beautiful women greets them right away, laying a napkin down in front of both of them, “Newbies?”

“Yes,” Arthur nods, pointing to himself first, “I’m Arthur, this is YN, my fiance.”

The bartender quirks an eyebrow as she not-so-subtly scans them, “Nice to meet you two. I’m Raven. I bartend Friday through Sunday here. What are you drinking?”

“A moscow mule,” YN asks, maybe some alcohol will loosen her nerves.

“It’s a dry club, babe,” Raven smiles patiently as her long fingernails click against the smooth surface.

“Oh,” YN replies in surprise, looking behind her at the shelves only to see syrups for flavoring but no actual liquor bottles or draft taps to be seen, “A sprite?”

“Water, please,” Arthur adds as he rubs YN’s thigh, squeezing it in reassurance, “I forgot to tell you. No alcohol here. Everybody needs to be sober when playing.”

“That makes sense,” YN hums in agreement, never having actually thought about it much, but it could definitely get cloudy on consent when alcohol was being consumed in regards to playing which was a dangerous and unsafe mixture.

They sit, observed for a few minutes before a few people begin to flock towards them, greeting them and asking surface level questions until there’s a deep, almost eerie chime that echoes for a long moment through the club over the soft jazz.

It was signifying that the clock had struck ten.

Everyone quickly wraps up their conversations before moving to different areas of the rooms, some disappearing down hallways.

The atmosphere had changed significantly in a very quick spurt of time as people started undressing, kissing, moving as if they’d just gotten permission.

There was a couple of the couch across the room that Athur and YN were observing from their barstools.

The two started out slow, sensual, like any normal couple behind close doors but when the woman knots her hair into her partner’s hair and demands his mouth move lower, he obliges and Arthur gasps softly at the roughness displayed.

YN’s been aroused for the last five minutes of watching them but doesn’t make an effort to act on it, not yet atleast, and once the couple move so that the man is laying on the couch, the woman kneeling over his face, it changes her vantage point but it catches on something else.

In the corner, further back into the room, there was a man sitting in the corner where there was barely any lighting, dim and his goal was to obviously stay in the background.

No one was approaching him nor was he interacting with anyone else.

YN knew there was a no phone policy but this man was sat, scrolling boredly through his phone and only occasionally glancing up to observe the people in action around him before eyes dart back down like it wasn’t entertaining at all.

He wasn’t aroused, at least from what YN could see, and he was in a tight, well-fitted suit but his dress shirt was barely buttoned, open enough to show the definition of his pectoral muscles, the sharpness of his collarbones, and a variety of darkly inked tattoos.

He was fucking beautiful.

YN realizes she oogling him but can get away with it because it appears to Arthur that she’s still watching the couple like he is.

However, when the man looks up after a few moments once again, his eyes are instantly locked on YN.

She can’t tell what color they are from here but she knows they’re light, twinkling under the barely there light of a sconce on the wall and it’s smouldering as he doesn’t blink nor waver with embarrassment of being caught staring at her.

YN quickly diverted her eyes back to the couple, her heart was pounding, and a sense of thrill shot up her spine even though it was inappropriate.

She wasn’t here for new partners.

She was here to learn and explore with her own.

YN tries to play it casual when Raven refills the drink she nervously chugged, “Why does that guy have his phone?”

Raven’s eyes darted to the man before grinning, “That’s Harry. He’s the owner, my boss. He supervises the free play.”

“Free play?”

“Out in the common area, it’s considered free play. If you claim a room, you are in private play with whatever partners you bring back there. Harry just makes sure everything stays safe and consensual out here. He gets bored though and plays Candy Crush on his phone.”

YN cracks her own smile at that, trying to imagine the man trying to get rid of sugary sweets and getting frustrated when he loses a round.

“Does he not play?” Arthur asks curiously, now his attention has changed to Harry as well.

“Not often,” Raven informs them, leaning her elbow on the counter, “I can’t remember the last time he did. I’d say at least seven years ago, at least in the free play but he doesn’t reserve rooms or anything. He made it clear that he doesn’t find at least any of the current members interesting enough to engage with.”

“That’s interesting, considering he must have an interest in it, if this is his club,” Arthur replies to Raven before turning back to the scene of the couple, another member had joined the couple and was currently giving the male some startling rough looking bruised kisses and bites to his stomach and thighs.

Arthur was getting aroused by the look and feel of it, he reached over and brazenly took her hand, and led her to his groin where he was hard in his trousers, encouraging her to palm over him which she did as she tried to get into it.

This…This atmosphere, these people, they excited her.

Arthur still did not.

They manage to get to a couch, Arthur appears to be getting so turned on that foreplay isn’t in his realm of ideas because he’s hiking up YN’s dress around her hips and positioning her on top of him which is a new position (in all six years they’ve never done cowgirl) but still, her arousal is barely boiling above surface level.

YN licks her palm, reaching down to help moisten herself because Arthur was not doing anything to spark her to get wet.

It was actually making her more distressed that despite the scenario, she still didn’t feel the connection to her fiancé.

When she slides down, it’s fine, he was an average size so even without much lubrication, it didn’t feel like a stretch or burn when she started to move her hips but it wasn’t as pleasant as if she was sopping, dripping down her thighs.

Arthur glances to the side at one point, noticing that the male from the throuple was now pounding into the original partner with his had tight around her throat, pushing her further into the couch without mercy as she tried to whine through stutter breaths.

YN felt like she was being watched the entire time, which of course she was being watched by other members but it felt different, when she blinks around and notices that Harry has his gaze honed in on her with a twisted scowl of almost disapproval, it confuses her.

However, she’s brought back into the moment when Arthur pants out, “Can- I want to try that.”

When YN follows his gaze, he’s referring to the choking, and yeah, maybe that will light that match.

“Okay, yeah,” YN agrees as she brushes her hair off of her shoulders, wishing he would have taken this dress off of her instead of shoving it upwards where it felt confining.

Arthur smiles at her, leaning up to give her a chaste kiss which didn’t match their situation whatsoever that they were in at the moment.

YN was feeling anxious about the judgment other members might put onto them but not because she cared that people watched but because she knew Arthur and her were nowhere nearly as fluid, practiced, or elegant as the other members whom seemed to just melt into one another easily.

Arthur had never tried it before but his hand came up to her throat, he’s getting close to his own release which means that he’s not as focused, eyes getting a glazed over appearance.

YN soon realizes that he has no idea what he’s doing as he begins to cut off her airway by cupping her throat in the center instead of at the sides.

It hurts, she can’t breathe but not the way that feels tingly, excited, it feels like he could quite possibly suffocate her because of his carelessness.

They had talked about proper methods and he clearly hadn’t retained that information.

A few black dots begin to dance across her line of vision and her body starts to trigger a flight or fight response which she wants to use her safe word but she can’t speak.

YN takes to dig her nails into his hand but he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not out of lust.

A true fear begins to take hold that something horrible will happen to her in less than a minute.

He’s truly going to injure her.

YN is in a full-fledged panic induced state.

Then suddenly, without warning, a strong arm is being wrapped around her middle and a big, ring-clad hand grips Arthur where it was around her neck so hard he yelps in pain and releases his grip.

The person is physically lifting YN off of Arthur’s lap, trying to steady her on her feet but they feel like jello and she feels light-headed, the room wouldn’t stop spinning.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” The person’s voice is deep, raspy, and incredibly pissed off, “What the fuck is your problem?”

YN can’t even bring herself to look at Arthur right now, her full support into Harry’s side as she notices the two securities guards walking in.

“C’mon, let me sit you down. You’re okay but I want to check you out, alright? Yeah, c’mon, pet,” He encourages in a much softer tone, gentle and trying to comfort me as she struggles to catch her breath.

It takes a long second to realize that she’s crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, and fuck, she is so embarassed as every other member had stopped playing.

“We’re done for the night. We’ll re-open tomorrow at the normal hours of operation,” Harry announces to the room at large before looking to Raven, “Go close down the private rooms.”

Raven nods, no longer as smiley and bubbling but an expression of concern as she watches what’s going on with YN.

“Hey, darling. Can you tilt your head up?” Harry asks quietly once he sits her down in the same corner that he had been in, away from the group.

YN whines because her neck is aching, she doesn’t want to do anything as the drop in adrenaline has made her more exhausted than she’s felt in a long time.

“I know, I know,” Harry simpers in an unpredictably cooing tone, he taps his thumb on her chin to signal her to tilt it up and she obliges.

Harry prods gently at her neck, focusing on the center where the pressure has been, “Any sharp pains? Anything feel off or wrong like you need to go to the hospital?”

YN shakes her head, a fresh round of tears.

She knew that she wasn’t injured or seriously hurt.

YN felt more traumatized mentally than anything else.

“I need words, want to hear your pretty voice,” Harry orders in a honey sweet tone, eyes hyper-focused on her like they were in the beginning of the night.

His eyes were green.

Close to the accent color of the club.

“I’m okay,” YN manages to speak out, throat dry and scratchy.

Raven appears with a glass of water to hand to Harry before giving them their space again.

YN is about to reach for the glass but Harry is already moving it towards her lips for her, “Drink f’me.”

It’s strangely intimate as he tilts the glass, eyes watching her carefully and a sense of guilt sets in that she likes that Harry is tending to her, giving her his full attention.

“Is this a common occurrence? Between you two?”Harry doesn’t sound as kind anymore, his jaw muscle twitches slightly.

“Um, no. We came here to explore. I’m very much into this world and he isn’t. He’s told me he’s done his research in his free time but -“

“You’re telling me that you’ve never negotiated nor tried something like this and he full fledge tries choking?” Harry interrupts, outraged from where he stands up from squatting in front of her, “Did you ask or plan for that?”

YN shakes her head, a bit embarrassed that she was coming off as an amateur to someone…she felt an attraction to, felt intimidated by, and Arthur had ruined their experience here.

“No. We tried spanking a few times but he backed out. We were just supposed to come here to watch others so he could visual what all this looked like before putting it into action-“

Harry doesn’t let her finish as he storms away from her, his glare set right on Arthur who was sheepishly sitting back at the bar and nursing a drink as Raven talked to him.

YN’s heart rate starts to rise again when Arthur tenses, clearly being chewed out by Harry before her fiancé gets off his barstool and follows the club owners lead down the hallway.

YN rushes to the bar, Raven is already pouring her another sprite, “Calm down. He’s not going to hurt him or anything. They just need to have a discussion on whether or not Harry will revoke his membership.”

It feels ruined and it never even started.

All she can think about is that despite for a short amount of time she was getting what she asked from Arthur, there was still no god damn spark.

After a good half hour, the bar phone rings and Raven answers, murmuring a few words back into the receiver before having up.

“I’m going to take you back to his office now.”

++

Harry’s office was just as luxe, elegant as the rest of the club.

It was tense as soon as she stepped in the room and Raven left, closing the door behind her.

“I’ve decided not to revoke your joint membership after discussion with Arthur. However, there are contingencies if you would like to continue coming here. Are you willing to hear them? Arthur has already agreed to the terms.”

YN nods slowly, voice soft, “Yes.”

Harry keeps his face on her as he speaks, “I do not tolerate what happened here tonight in my club. Arthur has clearly proven that he isn’t educated enough to be able to have free access to the club and free play.”

“If you want to continue membership, Arthur will need to reserve a private room and lessons will be held until he fully grasps the concepts, displays understanding, and can play safely without supervision.”

“Who…Do you have instructors?” YN doesn’t think she wants another man involved in their sex life even in an educational aspect.

“Yes but I will be teaching the lessons,” Harry informs her, calm as ever, “I bring this up because I would need to be hands on, to demonstrate and display certain practice, power play dynamics but that is a lot to ask as I do not know your limits on sharing.”

YN’s speaking before she even realizes it, “Yes. We can do that.”

Harry’s lip quirks slightly before it disappears but it oddly enough seems like a reward.

“We can schedule. I will send the paperwork. I already have your questionnaires about hard limits, likes, dislikes, and willing to try. I want to make this clear, this will be purely educational and there will be no dynamic developing between me and you two.”

YN nods dumbly, at a loss for words because the mere thought of Harry domming her was a lick of a flame that she’d been missing so much.

“I will dom you with instructions interwoven for Arthur. We will try to keep everything minimal as I cannot stress enough that this is not anything but informative on my end to help improve your sex life as a couple.”

++

Three longs weeks pass before their first ‘lesson’.

Arthur voiced excitement about the instruction, never brought up the choking incident again, and never initiated any type of sex during this time either.

Everything was swept under the rug as usual in their relationship.

YN would never admit the fact that she had gotten herself off to the mere idea of Harry domming her because something about him had triggered something carnal, something near feral in her.

It’s more than she had even felt with Klein.

She knew it wouldn’t last forever but she was going to enjoy this to the best of her abilities.

++

YN only had excited nerves going into the night.

Harry had inquired more in the break of time about YN’s experience and was extremely pleased to realize that she wasn’t as much of a novice as he assumed.

Though she hadn’t experienced many partners or relationships within the community, her knowledge was expansive and deep enough to impress him.

Harry had texted her back with a simple message that had her core tingling enough that she had to rub her thighs together.

YN: Thank you for continuously checking in on my comfort and experience regarding these situations. I have many more concerns for Arthur as we’ve already discussed. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

Harry Styles: I do not plan to go easy on you. Unless you specifically want soft play for these experiences. I can be a softer dominant but my main modality is firm, mean, regimented with softer aftercare.

YN: You don’t scare me. ;)

She was already being bratty with him.

It sent a wave of good nerves through her as she waited for a reply to be sent to her inbox.

Harry Styles: It’s interesting that you’ve already started to decide to be bad for me when you don’t even know what I’m capable of, darling.

YN : I’m shaking.

YN: Terrified.

Harry Styles: I wish I could wrap my fingers around your throat right now. Show your fiancé the proper way to choke a god damn brat.

YN could feel herself pooling with arousal.

It felt a bit wrong but she reasoned enough with herself that it was all for the greater good of her relationship with Arthur but deep down she knew that was bullshit.

YN: You’re probably not much better.

Harry Styles: Quite honestly, haven’t worked with such a fucking disobedient bitch in a long time. I cannot wait to break you. A kitten who thinks they’re a big bad tiger.

YN: Fuck you.

Harry Styles: Kitty’s got claws.

Harry Styles: For now…

It felt bordering on inappropriate but YN reasoned again that Harry had made it clear that there isn’t anything happening, it is a strictly professional as a type of situation like this can be.

++

Saturday has come and YN wakes up to a text.

Harry Styles: Better wear something cute enough that I find you interesting enough to play with. Even if it’s just to teach.

YN rereads the message quite a few times and why is he so good at getting under her skin and she doesn’t even know him yet but it’s like he knows exactly how to wind her up.

YN: Black dress with tights.

Harry Styles: It’s good to know that you’re just another basic bitch.

YN: What will you be wearing then?

Harry Styles: That’s none of your fucking business. I call the shots, kitty. Not you.

YN: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Harry Styles: Good to know. Five spanks for the five emojis. Would you like to keep going?

She can’t even help herself

YN: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Harry Styles: Noted.

YN wants to reply, knowing he’s probably waiting but a tiny sliver of guilt starts to creep in when she thinks about Arthur because though she’s trying to convince herself this is perfectly fine.

It’s not.

Not with the emotions it makes her feel.

She hasn’t felt them in so long.

It scares her.

“Sweetie pie, are you having second thoughts? Should be getting ready,” Arthur steps out of the walk-in closet, adjusting the sleeve of his button up.

“No!” YN replies much too quickly, her tone high pitch, “Um, I lost track of time. I’ll get ready now.”

“Okay, I’m excited for this new experience with you,” He smiles sweetly, stepping over to press a kiss to her forehead.

It’s affectionate, loving, and she’s still thinking of other things than her fiancé.

++

YN decides on a black wide leg trouser with a corseted bodysuit that gave her tits the perfect push-up, she’s spray a very thin most of body glitter on her chest, she knew it would sparkle in the dim lighting.

She considered wearing the dress and tights to spite him but whatever, she’d be less easy access for him.

++

Arthur held her hand tightly as they entered The Body Factory.

YN was already searching for Harry, barely waving to Raven as Arthur leads them over but she doesn’t want a drink, she wants to play.

However her fiancé guide her to a stool, ordering for both of them as Raven has a look of curiosity as she slides them in front of him.

“Does he come out and get us?” Arthur asks Raven, looking around he doesn’t see him either.

Raven bites her lip, shaking her head with a chuckle, “No, I take you to your reserved room when ten hits.”

“What is it?” YN asks, unable to read what is going on the bartender's mind.

This conversation didn’t seem particularly funny.

“Nothing really. Harry just hasn’t offered private lessons for at least eight or nine years. Normally when couples have an incident like you did, Harry revoked their memberships without a second thought,” Raven informs them as she picks at a spot on the smooth surface of the bar absentmindedly.

“Why us?” YN wonders out loud, why after all that time did he make an exception.

“I wish I knew,” The bartender shrugs neutrally.

++

The deep chime rings out about forty-five minutes later.

YN cannot decipher whether she wants to throw up or jump up and down with excitement.

Especially when Raven guides them down a long hallway, then into another corridor until they reach a door with a sign that warns, “No members past this point. Private access only.”

“Um-“ Arthur goes to point out the sign, he was a rule follower to his core.

“It’s Harry’s private playroom that members can’t use but again, this is special circumstances,” Raven’s voice is hushed as she leads them into a surprisingly minimal room.

There were cabinets built sleekly into the walls where all toys and accessories must be held, a matte black.

Everything matched but there was a bigger prominence of the green accents that were more subtle in the main areas.

The play bench hardware matches everything else but the cushion is a luxe emerald.

The bed was…unlike anything she had ever seen.

It was massive but fit well in the spacious room.

High posts on all four corners with subtle hooks to place restraints in.

The mattress looked fluffy and giving, it looked as if the sheets were a black silk but the duvet was a very muted pattern of black and green diamonds.

YN was in love with space.

It was so much more than she was expecting.

“Holy shit,” Arthur gapes at the elegance, clearly he had been expecting something different too.

“Okay, when Harry comes in, he will already be in the dom headspace and so he wants me to give you reminders. Harry will respect your hard limits as he’s reviewed them before the session. You have received a list of his so please do the same.”

“Just as you can safeword out at any time without consequences, Harry can as well. He will use the same ‘red’ if need be and will check your colors throughout to ensure safe play.”

“For this first lesson, Arthur you will sit and observe. Harry will display a safe, typical scene of play to understand what that looks like with whatever kind of submissive YN is. You may also use your safeword at any time to stop the play.”

YN swallows because would he allow that?

Surprisingly, Arthur’s face is still clear and happy as he starts to walk over to an overstuffed chair in the corner of the room and smiles at YN, “Can’t wait.”

YN raises a shocked eyebrow at his willingness but nods at Raven to show she understands.

++

They’re silent as they wait for Harry.

She wasn’t given instruction and because she was a bit nervous, she perched herself on Arthur’s lap as he rubbed her thigh and kissed her shoulder blades occasionally.

Then there’s a shuffle outside the door, the door knob twisting and the door opening.

Harry looked ethereal.

He wasn’t wearing a tailored suit like before but leather boots with a bit of a heel, form-fitting jeans that make his lean quads look biteable, and a plain black shirt.

His arms had even more beautiful ink than YN realized.

After Harry closes the door, his eyes lock on hers, not even acknowledging her fiancé’s presence.

“Stand up,” Harry orders loudly, a bit startling.

YN obeys instantly, her heart was pounding in her eardrums like waves of the choppy ocean.

A cruel smirk tilts on his lips when he scans her up and down.

“Did I strike a nerve, pet? This isn’t a black dress and tights. Are you already starting off so insecure? And you think you can handle me. What a cute, pathetic little kitten,” His voice is venomous, steady, and she’s clinging onto every word.

Arthur’s clearly confused but stays silent.

“I’m not pathetic,” YN argues shakily, it felt dangerous to get bratty so soon but it was her submissive profile and character, it came naturally.

Harry quirks a brow, “Sir.”

YN gives him her own confused look.

“I’m not pathetic, sir. Every time you speak, try again.”

“I’m not pathetic,” YN bleats easily, a flutter of her eyelashes.

Harry smiles like a goddamn wolf.

“Oh, you’re not? Let’s test that theory,” Harry draws as he takes a few steps backwards, towards the door, “Come to me.”

YN stands up, on wobbly legs, and begins to but is stopped in her tracks by his hard voice.

“Hands and knees. Crawl for me, I want to show your fiancé how pathetic you are for me,” Harry has a humor, an evil sense of it.

YN drops to her hands and knees, nearly panting already, and begins to move.

++

summary of triggering scene: YN’s fiance chokes her and though it’s completely consensual he doesn’t know what he’s doing and almost hurts her. YN cannot safeword out at the time but harry stops the scene.

[taleeater]

It’s the Little Things

Hope you enjoy my gushy short little fic :]

(I posted this once before but I was too embarrassed so I took it down. Putting it back now 😂)

Generation: Bayverse TMNT

TMNT Raphael x Reader Fanfic

Pronouns: Gender Neutral

Warnings: RIDICULOUSLY mushy, self-serving fluff, kissed while asleep

The rain quietly pattered against the dark window panes as the light from the TV flashed in the glass’s reflection. It was the end of a very long patrol, and Raph had made it back to your apartment quite late. As usual.

But as usual, you were up waiting for him with a hot dinner lovingly prepared.

Your daily lives were vastly different from each other. You ran a quiet bookstore in a reclusive area downtown, while Raph was one of the city’s fierce vigilante heroes alongside his brothers. You were definitely an odd couple. But you had your moments.

Moments like these- Raph thought gratefully as he swallowed another bite of your steaming homemade stew, piled onto a thick slice of buttered sourdough bread. He closed his eyes as he savored the rich flavor, saturated in red wine and melty slow-cooked beef, and had to stifle himself from moaning around the food in his mouth. Somehow you always managed to make the most delicious food, the kind that could warm and comfort tired and aching bones after a long day.

Speaking of you.

:readmore:

Raphael glanced across the small wooden dinner table in their comfy little apartment, and found you sitting with your chin propped up on your crossed hands, with a glowing joyful expression on your face as you happily watched him enjoying the meal you’d made.

- and Raph immediately turned his head away, already beginning to feel his cheeks burning under his mask.

“…..It’s good.” He said gruffly, not daring to chance another glance across the table as he practically felt your joy intensify from his praise.

“ I’m glad~” It was a humble, yet cheerful response. Yet, somehow it left something fluttering in the large turtle’s chest. His face scrunched up tensely as he tried to will away the building heat in his cheeks, and resorted to hiding his face in the bowl of the heavenly stew.

…..Raphael was quite certain you would someday be the death of him.

Later that night, after you two had had your fill of dinner and the pot and bowls were soaking in the sink, you curled up together on your old couch in front of the TV. Raph was watching the evening news, followed by a mobster period drama he found he secretly enjoyed. While you had made home with a blanket and a book curled up in the grumpy turtle’s lap.

Raphael was lazily watching the TV and gratefully melting into the couch, letting his head tip back and stretch out the sore muscles in his neck. He barely noticed the pressure of you snuggled up warmly on his lap, already so accustomed to the feeling that at this point it would be more strange without it. When suddenly, he heard a clatter and flop from what sounded like your book sliding to the floor. He looked back up, expecting you to clamor up to retrieve it, but found you made no movement.

“……..?...” Raph looked down to check on you, and was met with the adorable sight of your peaceful sleeping face. Your head resting comfortably against his chest as you breathed slowly and deeply. A hand curled up under your chin while he other was pressed flat against his chest.

Raphael immediately felt his whole face heat up deeply at the sight, having to turn his head away and place a hand over his mouth for a moment to insure he wouldn’t explode from the sudden swell of feelings building up in his chest. He tried taking a deep breath to calm himself down. ‘What am I, a teenage girl….?’ He chastised himself as he calmed down enough to look back to you.

‘……Are they really asleep?’ He wondered. Raph studied your face, checking for signs of movement behind your eyes, but became caught up admiring the long strokes of your eyelashes against your cheek. It was just a small detail, but somehow, it sparked a warm feeling in him.

Raph found himself staring quietly at you as you dozed, and he became captured by your features as he gazed at you so closely. Your little nose, your soft complexion, playfully messy licks of your hair, the soft line of your jaw…. The corners of Raph’s mouth began to pull up in a kind smile as he gazed at you. Quietly, he drew up his hand to comb some stray hairs into place, and trailed down to gently stroke across your cheek, until the pad of his thumb came to brush softly across your lips.

Raphael was completely enthralled, and lost himself in his delicate ministrations. Before he even realized it, he found himself leaning in closely, until his lips connected lightly with yours. It was a delicate, revering, chaste kiss, one he would never have the courage to initiate around your waking self. But right now, not even the adoring (and embarrassing) gaze of his lover was present to shy him away from his enamor.

You stirred at the ticklish sensation, brows drawing together and making a soft cute sound as you sighed into the kiss, drawn awake by your boyfriend’s soft touches.

Raphael froze still upon hearing the small sleepy noise come from you. His heart fluttered nervously in his chest, afraid he had been caught in his intimate moment. Slowly, he pulled away from your lips and looked down at your face. Raph was met with the sight of lidded eyes staring up at him, with a faint blush and sleepy smile gracing your face.

Raph was indeed caught. But before he could fully process his quickly rising embarrassment, you quickly shut your eyes and feigned sleep once again.

“........???????” He was very confused now. That was definitely not the reaction he was expecting.

“......(y/n).....?” Raph called out to check on you, not exactly sure what to do in this turn of events after being caught sweetly kissing his sleeping lover. But you just kept your eyes closed, a very loving smile still painting your face.

“Mmh...... no..... I’m still asleep....... keep kissing me......~” You whispered sleepily from your spot nestled in the crook of his arms.

Raph was stunned. It felt as if an arrow had pierced his heart and warmed his whole body from head to toe. Your smile only grew wider from feeling him go tense, and your hand slowly reached up to stroke against Raph’s rough cheek, tempting him to draw back in until your lips met once again.“Mmh~” You made a happy sound that hummed ticklishly against Raph’s lips, breaking him out of his surprise and enticing him to return the kiss.

It was soft, slow, and wet, how your lips moved against each other in your own quiet revere under the comfortable cover of night. You both drew away for breath, only to gravitate in to meet again and again to taste each other. Raph became emboldened as your hand lazily trailed up to push up his mask, and he leaned down to start peppering kisses across your face. Smooching your nose, your eyelids, the dips of your cheeks, your brows, forehead, and the corners of your mouth. He smooched his lover softly until you were left giggling softly in his arms. He paused to listen to the adorable sound, more bright and peaceful than any church bells, before he went back to praise and worship those velvety lips once again.

You kissed back more slowly than before, your passion still there but your energy seemed to be waning. Your hand slid from Raph’s cheek and came to rest on his chest, and you felt your mind grow fuzzy from the gentle brushes of his lips. Soon, you felt yourself melt completely back into Raph’s warm embrace, as your sleepiness overcame you once again at the parting of one more kiss.

Raphael paused for only a moment to catch his breath between loving smooches, before he moved to return once again. He softly brushed his lips against yours in quiet invitation, but surprisingly, he found that you did not return his kiss. Instead, he felt the slow gentle draws of breath against his lips. You had fallen fast asleep with your head nestled against his shoulder, lulled to rest by his sweet kisses.

Raphael paused as your breaths tangled in the small space between your lips. All he could do was stare into the peaceful resting expression of his lover wrapped warmly in his embrace. His gaze didn’t leave your lips, swollen red from his attention. The soft breath of sleep tickling against his own sensitive lips. The large turtle felt a smile tugging at his mouth at the sight of his normally energetic partner so easily put to sleep in his arms. He wondered briefly if he could ever endure this level of affection from you at your usual energy, and came to the conclusion that he would most likely combust after only a few seconds.

Raph eventually came back to his senses. His cheeks heating into a bright red glow of self-consciousness as recognition dawned of his own actions.

“...........shit.”

Raphael closed his eyes tightly shut as he tried to shut out the feeling of steam rising from his head. He ducked his head, burying his heated face into your hair as he tried to suppress the building need to implode from embarrassment. He silently muttered excuses but quickly gave in to the strong feelings clenching in his chest.

He was helplessly in love with you.

(He was still denying it.)

“...........What are you doing to me shorty...” He quietly mumbled, resentfully, yet, adoringly into your hair.

(But of course, that won’t stop him from trying to suffocate these embarrassing feelings. He had a reputation to uphold after all.)

But it was times like these, under the privacy of a silent night, with sweet words and gentle touches, that Raphael gave in.

It’s the little things.

And he carried you off to bed.

The End

[shiongenkai]

Thoughts on Jin?

Jin is... interesting. Which is to say, I don't often think about him, but when I do, I really . Really want to squeeze him like a grape.

The nature of Eset opinion posts is that they get so fucking long I feel bad if I don't put them under a readmore. This is. No different. Oops

First of all, I think his dynamics with the other characters on both an in-universe level and a meta textual level are fascinating. I think the most obvious connection is probably with Alan (given the whole... everything with Frost vs Vaga), but I think the most interesting one is comparing him with Taiga.

Taiga and Jin are incredibly similar. Frostheim and Sinostra are essentially the true opposites in every conceivable way, yet they still retain important similarities that keep them in constant conflict. Both captains were incredibly capable until Something happened, both have vices that have a two-faced tendency, both are incredibly nihilistic on a personal level (while still being Involved)... both are attached to the MC, both have connections to Darkwick on a deeper scale than other ghouls...

Jin is in an incredibly weird spot in what his character does in relation to others. Internally, to my mind, he's in the same category as Taiga and Ed, which is a very strange group to be in. But it's because these three all have the same philosophy and general Character and express it differently.

In his prologue lines, Jin calls it a fixed match, and says he was a figurehead. Tohma calls him delicate, others call him cold, reclusive, etc. Jin seems to be able to Acknowledge his personal philosophy ('There is no changing this') but not Accept it. He Acknowledges that he has no real power over anything at the moment, but rather than letting that ideology lead him to a more 'So fuck it I'll do what I want bc we'll all die anyway' attitude (as it does w Taiga) or a 'But neither does anyone else, so I'll use my power as I please / enjoy myself' one (as it does with Ed), it leads him to this like. Despair state, almost.

'I have no real power, and never did, so what's the point in doing anything at all?'

But he can't accept that, because he is incredibly driven and motivated. He needs to succeed. He needs to Prove himself, in a sense, especially due to the pressures of being Kamurai's son, and so he Can't Accept that he Can't Do Anything. I think this is part of why Jin's stigma isn't working without MC right now. I don't think MC unlocks some special thing inside him, but I think he BELIEVES she does. I think he BELIEVES she's able to help him, and so he's able to use it again. Because he believes that she, in some way, is giving him the ability to Be In Control. Because that's what his stigma is. It's control.

And like, it's fascinating! Because Control dominates so much of his character. Control over Frostheim, control over his circumstances, control over others, control over himself. Lack of control. Lack of freedom. Oppression, tyranny, any other goddamn synonym out there.

At every turn, Jin's character focuses on these things. He's a king, but does he really have any control over his own dorm? Over what happens to them? He did his damn best in his Freshman year and got the Laurel Crown, and then what? The Clash happened. And he lost Yuri, either before or immediately after. He gained Tohma, yes, but what else did he lose? What else changed for him during that? His stigma, notably. His world spiralled out of control, and his ability to use his stigma was lost.

And so he gives up. He accepts that he can't control anything, so why try? But he really, really can't fully accept it, because all he can trust is himself. So he still. Tries. Tries to control Something. Tries to solve cases with the influence he has. The control he has. And he tries to control Tohma, because Tohma swore loyalty and should be easy to control, but he's not, and that's something that drives Jin, which we see with the mirror anomaly. It shows him two things; himself, in Frostheim garb, the King (total control; domineering), and when he calls that Pathetic, it shows him Tohma and Alan.

MC says the mirror showed the anxieties she's been keeping locked down. I firmly believe this is true for Jin too. I firmly believe he fears both sides; total loss of control and total tyranny.

And. GOD!!! I know this has been so rambling and Literally So Nothingburger and I'm sorry for that, but it's just really, really neat to look at him totally removed from how he treats MC, though I do find that dynamic interesting as well. I think he's interesting outside of Tohma, even!

I think. It's not a stretch to say that Jin's Frostheim parallel is Kaito. Which is to say, if you were to pick who Kaito resembles the most between Tohma and Jin, I think the better comparison is Jin. Which adds a lot of new fascinating layers of thought in that Kaito's confidence is lacking while his ability is pretty damn capable, or in how Kaito's attitude is honestly probably closer to Jin's internal monologue than Lucas' ever is, or how Kaito was closest to his grandmother who has already passed (while Lucas is closer to his father, who is seemingly still alive)... It's just. Fun. It's fun to look at.

I think I should probably end this here bc I have yapped way too long, but even this doesn't scratch the barest bittiest little Surface of Jin's character. I truly wish I knew More, or at least had more interesting thoughts on him, and I would LOOOOVE to read better analysis from Jin fans or others who think abt him a lot. Ough. Jin Kamurai I need to microwave you.

[mikanferno]

Hello! Your isat siblings au is very good and now has me wondering about how stuff like Sif's wish might play out differently since they're not so horribly isolated. How do they end up thinking about discovering that they're an Islander if they've grown up more constantly reminded of their memory problems (the people who taught him vaugardian are people he's still living and traveling with)?

Unrelated but brain still whirring, do you think the way Sif and Bonny end up joining the party would end up looking different?

i explained the islander thing a few asks ago, but its because nille noticed they were! nille was also a teen when the island dissapeared, and, in the game, shes the one who taught bonnie how big of a deal it was! so of course she'd know. she's from the northern coast, after all :3 (im still figuring out sif's wish btw)

about how they meet the party, though! i was writing that scene just a few days ago, so i'll put that under a readmore :3

"It's fine, we're fine, Bug-"

Bonnie pushed weakly at Siffrin's arms, a pout in their face, "You keep saying that, but you look like crab, Frin."

The cloaked one sighed, "Language."

Bonnie huffed. Siffrin smiled.

He stared at the road ahead, and fixed Bonnie's position so they wouldn't fall, and continued walking.

It had been days (weeks? close to a month? he'd lost count and despite all of his "progress" he still couldn't bring himself to ask Bonnie for help with this one) since they'd had to run from Bambouche, and while he liked to think himself a capable adult, the sudden change to traveling on his own after living comfortably with Nille and Bonnie for almost a decade, now, had thrown them for a loop.

They were hungry, tired, and stressed. He had managed to keep Bonnie fed well enough, but he didn't risk staying anywhere for too long, fearing the curse catching up to them.

He tried not to think too hard.)

(Catching up to him, and leaving Bonnie alone, like it had caught up to Nille. Catching up to Bonnie-

His legs shook with every step. Bonnie was not too heavy for them to carry, of course not, but they were exhausted.

He set them down.

“Frin?” Bonnie asked, tilting their head.

“Break time.” He stated, slumping down next to them.

Bonnie nodded easily, laying their head on his shoulder, “Do you think.. that we will find a clean town?”

Clean town, dirty town… That’s how they’d taken to differentiating curse affected towns from normal ones. Bonnie had come up with it.

They were yet to find a clean town.

“Maybe. But only after tomorrow, Bug.” There was no use promising a certain date, but wording it like that was kinder, he thought.

“You think so?”

Siffrin smiled. “Yeah, for sure, Bon.”

He'd just had to make sure to word it differently, next time.

They rested there for a few minutes. The forest was not quiet, as wind was picking up, making the leaves rustle loudly.

Then, suddenly, out of the corner of their eye...

A sadness. Paper type, by the looks of it.

They hurried to stand so they could pick Bonnie and run, but…

Three people were fighting it.

Well.. fighting it seemed like a stretch. It looked like they were struggling against it, in Siffrin's personal opinion.

Really struggling. One of them was K.O.’d, the other looked like a rock type, and the other…

He swallowed. He looked at Bonnie, who was dozing off in his arms, and made a decision.

"Bon, hey," he nudged them, and they turned to him, "Stay here for a sec, I will be right back, okay?"

Bonnie blinked, and nodded, their eyes full of trust.

Siffrin smiled, patted their shoulder.

Then, he lunged forward.

"AH!!" One of the strangers exclaimed, and fell back in surprise. He ignored him, and attacked the sadness with their favorite attack, and exclaimed:

"Knife to meet you!" as they attacked.

He fell on his feet, the sadness poofing behind him, and he huffed a shaky breath. He then turned to the strangers, an easy smile on his face, "Hello," he waved.

They stared silently for a few seconds.

The one in the middle- a girl- smiled wide, and reached forward to grab their hand, "Hello! Thank you so much for your help!" She beamed.

Siffrin jolted a bit from the sudden contact, but smiled back, "It was, uh, it was no problem!"

One of the other two who were hanging back, an older lady, nodded along, "Yes, thank you." She said, looking out of breath, "That sadness..."

"Was tough! Really tough!" The other person exclaimed, "I could barely get a hit in!"

"Good thing I took it by surprise then-" Siffrin said, turning back his head to look for Bonnie, "I- nice to meet you, really, but-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" The girl said, not letting go of his hand, "Quest! We're on a quest, to stop the king's curse!!"

Siffrin turned back to her quickly at that, "The... curse? Like the freezing?"

"Yes!" She beamed, "And you seem strong! Won't you join us?"

Siffrin blinked, gaping a little, "Me?"

"Yes, you!" The girl insisted.

"I-" They paused, thinking. If they could help them... then, Nille...

"Okay, I'll help!" He said resolutely.

The man behind the girl put a hand on her shoulder, "Mira! Won't you introduce us?" 

She blushed, "Right! I'm Mirabelle, I'm immune to the King's curse! He," She pointed to the man, "Is Isabeau, and she," She pointed to the lady who was still catching her breath, "Is Madame Odile! What's your name?"

Siffrin smiled, "I'm Siffrin- and I have my little sibling with me back there," He pointed back to the bushes with his thumb, and took a step back, "I'll uh, be right back?"

Mirabelle's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Oh! Oh, uh! Sure!"

He quickly ran back to his sibling, trying to calm his still racing heart, "Bonnie, you can come out now." He said, pushing aside a bush.

Bonnie's head popped up behind it, "Was that a sadness?" They asked, "I heard people. Did we find a town?"

Siffrin ruffled their hair, making them groan playfully, "No, but I did find some nice people who say they're gonna stop the freezing."

Bonnie stood up, surprised, "REALLY?"

He smiled, "Yes, really! They want us to tag along, what do you think?" He asked gently, already knowing the answer.

"CRAB YEAH!" Bonnie exclaimed, excited, "Nille- she- she's gonna be okay!!!" They smiled a toothy grin, relieved.

Siffrin nodded, patting their shoulder, "Yeah, yeah."

He took their hand in theirs, and walked back to Mirabelle's party. They ignored how tired they felt, and gave everyone a easy smile.

Chin up, Siffrin. You've got a sister to save.

[nardaviel]

i commissioned this absolutely stunning art from @the-phantom-peach for my shuake roleswap au!! it illustrates a lil moment i wrote about, which is under the readmore (beware sad feelings):

--------

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Grow it."

"Amamiya—"

Ren had looked tired that evening. Shadows dark as bruises under his eyes, less performative bounce in his movements. But he'd still texted Goro asking to meet, and he'd still smiled at him as he spoke, potted sunflower plant held out in offering. "If I got you cut flowers, they'd just die. This way you're stuck with them."

"I could just put the whole thing in the trash."

Goro would go back and swallow the words if he could. But back then, he'd just wanted to get under Ren's skin, to see if it was possible more than anything. It didn't happen that night; Ren's eyes crinkled with amusement, like they always did when Goro was curt.

"But I spent so long picking it out. I checked whether it's safe for cats and everything."

When in retrospect, it's clear that he'd known Morgana wasn't a cat at all. The little shit.

Goro stares at the dwarf sunflower plant growing contentedly on his windowsill. What was Ren's message with it, he thinks distantly, beyond the obvious flirtation. He's wondered that for months, turning over the question in his mind when he should've been sleeping, studying hanakotoba, but he never came to any conclusions and it never occurred to him to ask, so now he'll be thinking about it forever. Endlessly, stretching on into the distant future, while he gets older and goes to university and becomes an adult, and the world forgets Ren Amamiya ever existed. Why did he even bother saving such a country? Let it fucking rot.

I'll never forget him. I'll die carrying his memory.

Goro means the vow with all his determination, every atom of his will and all the choked grief still gathering in his chest like blood in a wound that's been stitched too soon. But it doesn't matter whether he means it or not. It's not enough. Too little too late; the pitiful offering of the one who let Ren die. Ren took his glittering gaze and his pointed wit and his labyrinthine mysteries and his constant, inexplicable affection, and he shattered them all on the Velvet Room floor. No amount of remembrance will undo that.

[taytrashmouth]

Heyy I was wondering if u could do prompt 22 with peeta I’ve been having peeta brainrot for so long 😭

tysmm!!

This is so real!!!!! Peeta supremacy. I really hope you love it.

Prompt 22: “You’re staring!”

Requests are open so please send them in!!!!!!!! Prompts under my profile.

(Set before the games)

:readmore:

It was a cold day in district 12, the snow had started to fall. But it was a good day, because you had somehow giggled your way into getting a date with Peeta Mellark.

You pulled your small brown bag, that’s been patched up so many times you couldn’t tell which fabric was the original. And began to walk to the bakery.

You pulled your dark blue beanie over your ears as you approached the door. You contemplated for a minute before knocking.

Peetas family were gathering supplies from the local market, they wouldn’t be back for the next few hours.

He opened the door and smiled the minute he saw you. You smiled back.

“Hey.” He ushered you inside, looking at the snow that dusted your shoulders.

“You must be freezing.” He took your coat and put it over the chair by the entrance.

“Only slightly.” You joked.

“You’ve got- umm snow.” Peeta pointed to your eyelashes. You giggled “oh, would you?”

You closed your eyes and he gently dusted the snowflakes off of your long eyelashes.

His hand lingered on your cheek as you opened your eyes.

“Thanks.” You spoke just above a whisper.

“I’m making bread.” He let out as he pulled his hand away. You smiled at his awkwardness.

“I’m glad! Your bread is like what I look forward to the whole week.” You told him as you walked to the kitchen.

He smiled shyly.

“I just need to get this in the oven and then we can do whatever you want.” He spoke, walking over to a metal bowl where the dough had been rising.

You sat on the kitchen counter and watched him knead the bread. You were mesmerised by the muscle in his arms, and the way he used his whole body to knead the dough.

He was talking about something but if you were honest you didn’t know what.

“Y/n-“ he called and you broke out of your trance. “You’re staring…” he smiled cockily.

You turned crimson looking at your hands and swinging your legs. “Sorry-“

“Don’t be…” he let out as he placed the bread into the oven.

“Come on.” He spoke and helped you down from the counter by your hips.

You blushed more.

He led you to the living room where a fire was going, it was small like all the houses in 12. But it was nice. Cozy.

You took your beanie off and attempted to smooth out your hair. Messy curls bouncing everywhere.

There was a severe lack of chairs in the living room. All single chairs in every corner of the room and a huge table in the middle. Furniture wasn’t one of the luxuries the Capitol provided.

You noticed some daisies lying on the table. Peeta picked them up. “I- I uh picked these for you. They grow down by the river.”

You smiled. “They’re beautiful.” You smelt them.

“Like you.” You both blushed then.

He took a daisy out of the bouquet and placed it behind your ear.

After a while of talking Peeta spoke “what do you wanna do? Unfortunately when it’s snowing there’s not much to do is there?”

“We could read.” You suggested fishing a book from your bag.

“Where did you get that?” Peeta examined it in awe.

“My dad, he knows a guy in 7 that owned a library before the rebellion. He’s really old. But every month my dad travels to get wood from 7 for our district and he gives him a book for me to read.” You explained.

“That’s amazing.”

“Yeah, when I was little he said that if the Capitol ever crumbles the library’s mine.” You smiled at the memory.

“You’ll have to take me with you.”

“Always.” You looked at every feature on his face. “You can lend some of them anytime you want. I have a feeling we’re gonna have to wait a long time for the whole library.” You joked and Peeta laughed

I would love to, but I’m not that great at reading.” He hesitated to speak. You could tell he was embarrassed.

“That’s okay, my mom taught me. Honestly I don’t blame you, schools here just care about coal and the rebellion.”

“Yeah…I’m sorry by the way.” He was talking about your mom. She died a few years back.

“It’s okay.” You smiled sadly.

“I can read to you if you want.” You offered.

He nodded. Hiding his excitement.

He sat on one of the chairs, and you sat on the floor next to him.

“Hey don’t sit on the floor.” Peeta sat up.

“No no! I’m fine, you won’t hear from over there, really.” You insisted.

“Sit with me.” Peeta suggested.

Blush crept into his face the second he said it.

“You don’t have t-“

“I want to.” You stood up.

He sat back onto the seat squeezing as far right as he could. You tried to squeeze next to him but you were half on top of him. You were both tomato’s.

He carefully placed his hand on your lower back and under your thigh. You took a sharp breath in as he moved you to sit on his lap, legs over the armrest.

“Is this okay?” He asked.

“Perfect.”

You began to read and he held onto every word. He was in deep and he knew it. He watched your lips move and the way you smiled when something good happened. And giggled when something romantic happened.

“Peeta-“ he broke from his trance when he realised you weren’t reading anymore.

“You’re staring.” You smirked.

Now he was the blushing mess. “It’s hard not to.” He moved some hair behind your ear.

You squealed and hurried your head in his chest at how perfect he was. He chuckled and stroked your hair as you continued to read, head on his chest.

[slugbeaker]

Theon genderbend sketch bc I saw a pic on twitter of like an 1800s archery dress and I needed to put Theon in it lol and so Theodora was spawned.

Yapping about her under the readmore bc I have lots of ideas yippiiiieeee

I also think it's very fun to think of how being born the opposite sex in asoiaf would change so much for certain characters, and Theon is definitely one of them. If Theodora is now Balon's youngest daughter instead of youngest son then it's probably likely that IF the Starks still take a hostage/ward, then it's going to be Asha who goes as the remaining eldest child. So Theodora gets to grow up on Pyke, and while I DO think that Theon would likely be more successful at maintaining social norms as an Ironborn lady than an Ironborn man, I also still think that not tooooo much changes in regards to like how Balon views her. Balon probably tries to do what he did with Asha and mold Theodora into what he would want from a male heir, and bc Theodora is still Theon I doubt she'll live up to his expectations as Asha would have bc that's just not who Theon is as a person lol. He was already shy and quiet when raised as a boy and I doubt being raised as a girl, even an Ironborn girl, would erase that part of the personality. So Theodora is still shy and insecure and uses cockiness and smiles to cover it up bc while she has a more secure place as a Greyjoy in this version of things, she still is not cut out for making papa Balon happy and if that isn't detrimental to a child's self esteem then I don't know what is.

Once Balon realizes he cannot mold Theodora into Asha 2.0 he probably largely ignores her unless a possibility for a betrothal pops up. And I imagine Theodora is still very promiscuous and she likes to play and flirt with the men that come asking for her hand but she's probably not reeeaaally interested in settling down unless it's a guy who really impresses her (cough like Robb Stark cough) and so she does stuff like what she's saying in this doodle like ohhhhh if you were REALLY worthy of wedding a daughter of Balon Greyjoy then you would bring me xyz when you return from your next trip. She def got the "i'm just a shy maid" thing from copying Asha lol. She's known as Balon's daughter who while not wed to an axe still has a tongue as barbed as her arrows and so tread cautiously when dealing with her. Theodora probably gets away with rocking jewelry more than Theon does bc if the men gifting her jewels paid the iron price for said jewels then what's the problem uwu? Dagmer also def has given Theodora some jewels from his old reaving days too bc that's his little princess the way Theon is his little prince :') I also tried to design her hair to make it look like she styled it like squid tentacles lol! Two shorter strands framing the face, and then 8 long bundles of hair tied back, Theodora you icon, you.

Theodora probably spends a decent amount of time on Harlaw with her mom to avoid having to be around Balon who is getting rather tired of her turning down every possible suitor (of course Balon also knows said suitors kind of ain't shit so he's not really pressed to marry her off yet, maybe make good offer to the king of salt and rock, hello??)

I have ideas for how Asha, Robb and Ramsay fit into this too but I am still fleshing out those ideas: basics are Asha since she is a few years older than Theon was when she is taken hostage never grows as close to the Starks/Robb as Theon did. The relationship is always much, much more politically motivated. If Theodora is given permission to visit Asha in Wintefell at some point, Robb is probably delighted to meet this other Greyjoy daughter who actually talks to him outside of to discuss how things will fare when Asha returns to Pyke. And sure, she's kind of rude but she's also not as scary as Asha haha. Maybe they become pen pals lol. Ramsay I imagine is going to be a potential/actual suitor for Theodora but I'm still thinking about that.

Anyways, while a lot changes, a lot is still much the same. Theodora still feels like a disappointment in a lot of ways, she has very lofty ideals of herself still, and you know what, she's kind of a bitch! All the things we love Theon for lol

[snail-speed]

I've been formulating my Dandy's World AU a little bit more and I finally have a name for it! Say hello to

Mundane Aftermath!

I'll have to get the energy to work on a proper presentation of it like other AUs out there, but is the first part of the details, which I'll put under a readmore so it doesn't flood the tags (THIS IS REALLY LONG, I RECOMMEND TO OPEN IT IN A NEW TAB IF YOU'RE USING DESKTOP/LAPTOP):

The designs I use to draw toons are how they look in the AU, both in the show and outside of it!

The AU is divided into two primary parts, Mundane Prelude and Mundane Aftermath. Prelude focuses on what happened in Gardenview from its inception to its closure, while Aftermath focuses on what happens decades later, which is when the ichor operation of canon!DW happens in this AU.

The main theme of this AU, as the title would suggest, is a certain mundane reasoning behind everything that happens in the story. Ichor in this setting doesn't have supernatural properties, nor was anyone working on the toons deliberately evil, and the downfall of Gardenview happened much more akin to how similar companies shut down IRL.

The worldbuilding surrounding toons and ichor is also a lot more, well, mundane, and less geared towards horror. The toons are definitely still little weird abominations, but they're their own persons, and in this AU, they are treated less like property and more like employees of Gardenview, and after the museum closes they have to set out into the real world and make lives of their own, just like their human coworkers.

There will definitely still be drama, action, and a little bit of horror, but my AU is much more oriented to a slice-of-life comedy. Most everyone in the AU will have a happy ending after a lot of suffering!

The following details lay the general setting and the three "main" characters in the Prelude section of the AU!

Gardenview Before the Toons:

In this AU, Gardenview started out as the Gardenview Chemical Research Center, a laboratory which specialized in the development of polymers (the chemicals that are the basis of plastics).

Gardenview has areas that are above ground, as well as several underground floors. They don't bore deep into the Earth, though, at most there's 10 floors, excluding undeground parking. This is due to the fact the laboratory was built to take as little space as possible above ground.

Unlike canon!Gardenview, the common areas and most offices of Gardenview are NOT underground. Before the toons, the lower floors of Gardenview had a select few offices, laboratories, computer server rooms and several storage areas.

A certain someone worked as one of the lead researchers among the staff...

Delilah Keen:

Before elaborating, I must preface that the designs that I made for both Delilah and Arthur were made before we had a confirmation of their canonical appearances. In this AU, Delilah is the older person, while Arthur is the younger one!

Delilah is a brilliant chemist with a penchant for developing inorganic chemicals that have bizarre properties.

Unlike what's implied of her canon counterpart, Delilah in this AU is NOT evil. She never worked on the toon project with the express purpose of trying to play god or anything of the sort, and she never abused the toons.

She is, however, very bad at giving out necessary warnings and reading between the lines of someone's true intentions. She is also not very emotive and typically speaks with a flat affect. Despite this, she's diligent and fundamentally a kind person.

She developed an odd, intergenerational friendship with Arthur after they both met at a local arts and crafts festival and interacted further through their city's usenet group.

Speaking of...

Arthur Walton:

Arthur is an animator turned director. The young man responsible for the creation of Dandy's World.

He worked as an animator in the late 80's, and got a lucky break when the pitch for DW was greenlit for (at the moment) only one season.

He's a bit naive and very emotional, but just like Delilah, his kindness is genuine and so is his optimism (and eventually, his will to make things right after it all goes to shit).

Even before the toons were brought to life, he loved each and everyone of the characters he created. Especially a certain rainbow flower.

One fateful day, his friend Delilah invited him to her workplace, wanting to show him something as a birthday gift.

Ichor:

Ichor in this AU is a liquid plastic made out of synthetic polymers. In its natural state it's an almost-black dark brown thick liquid (think of the consistency of honey or really thick ink). It's safe for handling for humans (as it has similar properties to PET plastic), and technically safe for toons to handle (though for them lab equipment is extremely recommended).

Its most outstanding feature is not the fact its a liquid at room temperature, but the fact that it has the unexplained quality of creating synthetic life.

How did Delilah discover this? IDK, she just did, don't think too hard about it (it's funnier that way).

Can only cause the iconic infection when an extremely large amount of raw ichor enters a toon's body via a wound/excessive ingestion.

Despite its life-creating properties (with the right equipment), ichor didn't have a lot of other practical uses, so when Gardenview closed down most of it just sat in storage tanks abandoned.

The Printer:

Delilah also has plenty of engineering knowledge, and created the Printer, a device about two-three times as large as the typical office copy machine.

The Printer takes three inputs (apart from the obvious which is electrical power): Ichor, VHS (and later on, also DVD) recordings of the Dandy's World show, and copious amounts of reference sheets that Arthur has created of the show's cast.

The output? At the start, only a few inanimate objects. But Delilah wanted the Printer to reach its intended production. What was that? Toons, obviously!

Although the Printer was operational by the time Delilah showcased it to Arthur, they still spent a few months adjusting both it and the input materials as making life wasn't quite as easy as both of them thought.

One fateful attempt, though, the Printer finally spitted out a certain someone...

Dandy:

The first toon to ever be printed into life. Both in canon and in this AU. However, in this AU, he was born sometime in the very early 90's.

Just a little guy! Just a little dude! The shortest of all the non-pet toons, standing at around 101cm/3.3ft.

Definitely an adult, even when he just got printed. However, at the very start he was very sweet and innocent, since his only memories at that point were the events of the show's first season.

Doesn't technically have a canon voice in this AU, but I really like to imagine he sounds a lot like Dana Synder's role as either Scratch (from The Ghost and Molly McGee) or Master Shake (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force). It's just funny, okay?

Dandy in this AU came out... a little wonky. Instead of always having his cute looks, his default facial features make him look like some cranky old man. This is due to the fact that, in their frustration trying to make the Printer work, Arthur accidentally messed up the reference art for his face, and Delilah lacked the eye for illustration to notice the mistake before feeding the information to the printer.

Delilah offered to "decommission" Dandy and redo the process, but Arthur refused since, despite the flaws, holy shit Delilah, that's his son you're suggesting to kill! His baby boy! Plus, literally everything else about Dandy was like it should be, appearance and personality wise.

Dandy eventually learned to scrunch up his face to actually look like his show counterpart, and his real face ended up being a sort of secret among key staff of Gardenview.

Dandy was surprisingly chill about the prospect of suddenly "waking up" in some mysterious facility filled with strange, giant creatures. Arthur and Delilah told him the lie of being in a hospital for a rare, paralyitic illness he somehow catched, which is how they managed to wave away his facial features. Years later, he also took the truth about being a fictional character brought to life surprisingly well.

Okay that's enough yapping for now, if you have any questions about what I've been laying out so far send a reply to this post! I'll yap more and the next parts describing this whole AU will come out Soon (TM).

[cosmic-chronologer]

i may have made this gothic dnd-adjacent setting and decided to turn it into a fun sona challenge~

I put the full context for the au under readmore for whoever’s interested!

{+COVENANT+}

(more might get added later if it becomes more of a thing)

+SETTING+

Post-POST apocalyptic gothic castle towns. The world was burned asunder centuries ago, leaving the remnants of humanity to rebuild society anew amongst the desolation.

Not long after the initial restoration of society, beings known as Emissaries showed up demanding that humanity bend to their will as they reshape the earth. Many who outright refused were damned to become monsters. Others fled for self preservation and became known as Heretics. Some did as the Emissaries asked and joined their ranks as Acolytes.

+FACTIONS+

Heretics: survivors of an unforgiving world, refuse to follow the Emissaries

Acolytes: servants of Emissaries, slayers of the damned and heretics alike

+HERETIC CLASSES+

HUNTER-

Hellion: hunt with ferver, gain the strength of monsters by devouring them

Assassin: hunt quickly and stealthily, have the shadows bend to you

Marauder: hunt with good fortune, unnatural luck is on your side

WITCH-

Haruspex: make blood sacrifices to cast spells, yours or others

Seer: able to see beyond the natural, unlock secrets and commune with spirits

Necromancer: summon and control unholy creatures

ALCHEMIST-

Apothecary: heal the sick and injured, poison your enemies

Enchanter: place enchantments on items, place hexes on your enemies

Architect: mend or create objects, exchange materials for what you seek to build

+ACOLYTE CLASSES+

Knight: put down the wicked with holy weapons

Cleric: heal and protect the wounded with your words

Prophet: receive answers and blessings directly from emissaries

Exorcist: banish evil spirits or trap the wicked with holy runes

+LOCATIONS+

Paragon: a fortified castle base for the Acolytes located in Altaire

Altaire: the largest city, overrun with Acolytes

Lazuli: a city now in ruins, ground zero for the arrival of the Emissaries, overrun with cursed monsters

Eris: castle town overflowing with secret passageways, semi safe haven for Heretics

+ENEMIES+

The Damned: monsters cursed by the emissaries for their “sins”, they are no longer human and will usually attack on sight

Emmisaries: wrathful angelic creatures from above, creators of calamities upon the human world

Acolytes: humans that align themselves with the Emissaries, often travel or fight in groups

Covenant Sona Challenge!

you can make your sona a Heretic, Acolyte, or even an Emissary if you’re feeling quirky~ go nuts basically! originally this was just going to be for Heretics, but I figured someone might wanna join the otherside for funsies, so I added a few classes for Acolytes

who knows, maybe if we get enough people in each faction we can even have an all out war

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

I'm in my feels about how the way ghosts interact with the world and each other affects Edwin and Charles as sensory seeking and sensory avoidant neurodivergents.

While it's already hard to understand the dynamics of ghostly interactions with their environment at play I'm pretty sure of these things. So we know that Edwin and Charles don't feel items and other alive people the same as they would alive. It's a different touch-based-sensory-less experience(?) at least that's what we know. And we know that they can feel other supernatural beings and each other, differently. I'm in the camp of its basically the same as normal human sensory touch but that could be argued a bit. However we're sticking with that both for the sake of this post and cause I want to.

This analysis got long as shit so readmore it is

Now we see Edwin being very touch avoidant with relatively everyone (besides Niko and Charles) and we see Charles being touch seeking with just about everyone. This makes sense to me under the fact that they as neurodivergent beings both have their more usual "resting state" on the touch-sensory-acceptance scale where Edwin generally rests at the sensory avoidant side and Charles rests at the sensory seeking side.

The implications though of how the fact that you can't really feel things through touch the same way as you would alive really gets to me though. Because you might think that without the sensory part of touch there wouldn't be anything to activate the neurodivergent avoidance right? Well obviously this is not the case for Edwin as we see him from the beginning tolerating touches from Charles and no one else. Then we gain Niko too as someone he appreciates the touch of. And if he can't really Feel the alive people, like Crystal, the same that means that the new ghost touch sensory experience also triggers the touch avoidance. And we see Charles practically touching anyone and (anything) who will let him which means the ghostly touch also triggers touch seeking. So does this mean that under DBDA dynamics neurodivergence finds a way to still be sensitive to sensory experiences under any circumstance? Both in avoiding and seeking it? Does this mean that it's more of a mental thing than the actual 5 senses of it? This is so interesting to me because I've often thought that having the ability to turn off and on sensory capabilities would be LOVELY for my mental health (I have ADHD) I'm not so sure that's true anymore because my brain would just adjust and find ways to avoid and seek THAT new feeling. The feeling of the absence of feeling.

Now the difference between ghost-alive touch/ghost-environmental object touch and ghost-fellow ghost or other supernatural being touch is also interesting to me in sensory seeking terms. Because we also see Edwin enjoying Charles touch specifically and at first we could assume that he only likes touch under ghostly sensory feelings. And us neurodivergent people often have our people that we have more spoons to handle the touch of than others. Which also has very adorablely soft implications of Charles being Edwin's Safe Person including sensorily. But then we see him enjoy Niko's touch too which means that he can also find his sensorily safe person in alive interaction sensories terms. And obviously we see Charles being sensory avoidant too when he's out of spoons for that, like when he bats Edwin's hand away when Edwin attempts to comfort him at the lighthouse. And we see Edwin also sensory seek in, as George put it, craving Charles' touch after their hug in episode 5.

Now I'm fairly certain that they feel things in Hell the same as they would between other supernatural beings and as they did when alive. Which after 70 fucking years of that, I don't even KNOW how I would feel about touch as an already sensory avoidant person if I was in Edwin's shoes. Genuinely an unfathomable part of the experience for me. But clearly Edwin still can handle touch just more specific about it. No different than a regular neurodivergence experience really. Which just gives me so many emotions because Edwin baby boy I knew you were so so strong but 🥺 how did you handle this so well too 🥺. I don't know how you did it. He has so much credit for how he's handled (well everything, but specifically this) so well under these circumstances. Someone pls tell him he deserves more credit than he gives himself.

Anyway my Edwin hell emotions aside, i saw someone mention awhile ago (I would credit them but I don't remember who) that Charles and Edwin wear their gloves so often specifically to avoid having to think about the fact that they don't have the normal human sense of touch anymore which is just so something. Because that in and of itself is its own sensory avoidant behavior. Avoiding the fact that they're not really experiencing a specific flavor of sensory anymore? Could this be true for their many layers of clothing they don to possible keep from feeling that they can't feel the environment the same? Like wind/the snow in ep1, the temperature, and other elements? Sensory avoidance too. A supernaturally charged type of sensory avoidance but still. Sensory avoidance. Plus how we see them lose their layers and gloves when they're in their office bubble alone? Their home? Their comfort space where they have the spoons to relax? And possibly have the spoons to handle the new (well new as a relative term) different type of touch sensory experience that is their ghostly existence? Cause in THESE terms Edwin's sensory seeking in the form of rolling up his sleeves and placing his legs propped up upon the couch arm to experience this new type of environmental feel more fully. And Charles is sensory seeking in the form of Touching Everyone of His Magic Bag Items (and doing classic neurodivergent rearranging and setting up just to take back down play but that's beside the point) and fidgeting by throwing (and consequently touching) the ball in ep1. Which IS in line with how when we're more emotionally comfortable we have the spoons for being more comfortable with other things like more touch and more audio and more visuals as neurodivergents. These are the environmental and worldly items based touch. But we also see them touching EACHOTHER more within their office comfort zone, which means they also feel more sensory seeking in the way we're familiar with in their home bubble. And having the spoons for being more emotionally vulnerable there too but that's not really the point of this post.

In conclusion, how Edwin and Charles still act as touch-sensory seeking and avoidant neurodivergent individuals after this long as ghosts really enamors me. I didn't really go into analyzing the other 4 senses have changed for them but we know they can see and hear the same so those sensory seeking levels wouldn't change, and smell and taste are too things they mentioned they don't have anymore as ghosts but they HAVEN'T touched on how smell and taste senses would work between them and other supernatural entities like. I can't really comment on how the minute differences between ghost on alive and and ghost on ghost feelings would differ without knowing more. Like perhaps this would be touched on more in season 2? Like the taste of eachother hmm? Much to think about. Anyway yeah this was my neurodivergent reading of their touch based sensory seeking, I probably didn't consider some things, so I would love to hear your input on this too!

[iamthemaestro]

so. after a lot of Internal Deliberation I figure it is about time that I introduce to tumblr the Guys who take up approximately 40% of my brain space at any given moment of the day now that I have really made the jump into Tumblr OCposting as of late. this will be a bit of a long post so…. buckle in!

Percy and Sydney are part of a project @neon-sunsets and I started back in 2022 and essentially have not stopped thinking about since. there are over 500 pages of writing for these guys and most of it will not stand up to serious editing but in the future it’s a story we hope to put out into the world, and Percy and Sydney are only half of it, with Nebula’s characters Esther and Atarah constituting the other two members of the Protagonist Party, but I will let them do their own talking about the Disaster Lesbians (though I love them dearly). I don't intend to talk much about the story itself since that is perpetually being worked on but I do feel it's appropriate to give some background to these very dear characters of mine.

(I will be sticking the rest of this under a readmore for everyone’s sanity)

the story takes place in a world a lot like ours but slightly to the left, during their universe's golden age of piracy. Captain Percival Arlington Winchester II is a highly respected, notoriously strict, and unbearably professional officer for the in-universe equivalent of the british navy, with a bad sleep schedule, an inflexible moral code understood only by him, and a first lieutenant who inexplicably hates him. he’s descended from a long line of naval war heroes, only he's been biding his time for a long while waiting for his chance to prove himself in war... which may present itself soon. in the meantime, he settles for being the navy’s number one pirate hunter, which at least earns him a good name among the public.

there are a lot of things I could say about percy. he’s autistic. he’s a redhead. he has daddy issues. he’s been married for 12 years and is still somehow a virgin. not that he has any particular desire to change that at the moment, really, because it’s not like he’s ever been particularly attracted to the fairer sex. but still, apart from that, he seems to have everything a successful 18th century military man could want: a good name, a decent marriage, and a commission with all the respect and wealth that comes with it—all that’s missing is an honorable death, preferably in naval combat, and he’s made it. at least, that’s what his late father would have said.

and yet his story only truly begins when he receives a mysterious letter from the Rogue Marauder—one of the sea’s most notorious pirates, who inexplicably vanished from the scene several years ago after a sudden separation from his speculated-sibling and partner-in-crime, the Eel Queen. the letter is innocuous enough, if ambiguous: there’s no way to know what, precisely, the Rogue Marauder wants from him, only that he has valuable information, and thus by necessity must be desiring something in return. everything points to this correspondence being against protocol… but still, it’s a way to keep the Marauder close, Percy thinks—perhaps close enough to catch him, at last. so he writes back.

the Rogue Marauder is a man called Sydney Law, a fact Percy will only find out much later. Sydney, too, is a lot of things: incessantly charming, unabashedly flirtatious, and absolutely unafraid of consequences. the Marauder is a combination of robin-hood-turned-pirate-turned-femme-fatale, with a past reputation for seducing high-ranking naval officers seemingly just for his own enjoyment, and keeping almost nothing for himself of the vast amounts of gold he manages to weasel out of them in the process. on top of this, he’s in a weird perpetual state of gender flux, regards his adopted sister with a near god-like reverence, and is strangely obsessed with the idea of his own death. needless to say, the idea that he would ever willingly throw himself at the navy’s most prestigious captain does not bode well for either of them. indeed, at the beginning of the story it happens to be that he is already well past the point of no return in an extremely convoluted and precarious plan that, in all likelihood, will get him killed and very possibly start an all-out war. but of course, no one but him knows this yet. or at least so he thinks.

but they keep writing. despite all this, it turns out they’re far more alike than they seem. and what starts as a tentative mind-game with ambiguously sinister intentions turns into a conversation—the longest and most genuine one either of them have had in years. perhaps, though Percy will not admit it, they’ve even grown rather fond of each other.

the Marauder, however, understands this far before the Captain does. which is unfortunate, considering, at this rate—a fact which he regards as unfortunately necessary, for reasons understood only by him—he is almost definitely hurtling toward his death, at the hand of the man whom he has come to adore.

what he cannot know, however, is that he will not die. he cannot know yet that at some point, he will save Captain Winchester’s life. and then an entirely new story will begin—one that neither of them could have ever imagined. but I won’t spoil that part.

what I will spoil, however, is that Percy is absolutely not the person he thinks he is, and it is only through Sydney that he is able to discover that. underneath all the naval decorum and neurotic obsession with his own presentation, he’s a huge sweetheart with a passion for cartography and a case of ocd. he likes dressing well and exploring uncharted islands and going aloft like he hasn’t in years… and Sydney, very much.

and of course, like I mentioned, their story is only half of what the full story is about… but this post is long enough, and Nebula deserves to be the one to talk about their own characters and their Lesbian Situationship Of All Time, which you should definitely tune in to. however that’s the gist for Percy and Sydney lol. there is Far more I could say but for everyone’s sanity I am simply going to stop here for now. these guys have been so important to me over the past couple years and they have already been met with so much positivity from people and it makes me so happy. I love and appreciate you dearly if you read this far <3

[galacticnova3]

Have you ever thought about Dhelmise? I have. In fact, I’ve thought about it so much that I decided I couldn’t fit it all in my brain. So here it is. That’s right, it’s time for the Dhelmise infodump but for real this time. With feeling. Because I think about this thing a normal amount. This is extremely long and not organized any more than my own thoughts are, so I have put it under a readmore. I am not going to color of the seaweed you people, because I’m not evil, I’m just hyperfixated.

I think everyone who follows me has read my usual spiel about the shiny, so I’ll save that for later. Instead I’ll start with some word explanations to avoid possible confusion later on. I’ll be using kelp and seaweed interchangeably for the most part, but as kelp technically refers to particular kinds of seaweed I will try to keep that in mind when the distinction actually matters. Seaweeds are not plants, they’re something different called macroalgae, which in turn is classified into three groups— green, brown, and red. As they’re not plants, they have different structures that I’ll be referring to throughout this whole thing.

The main ones to know are the blades, stipe, and holdfast. The blades are more or less analogous to the leaves of plants, with the stipe in turn being like a stem. The holdfast is often compared to roots, but doesn’t serve the same function of absorbing water/nutrients, instead only anchoring the whole thing to a surface, be it the seabed or something like a rock or underwater structure. In short it holds the kelp in place, as the name suggests. There’s also another part called the pneumatocyst, but it’s not really as relevant to Dhelmise itself as it lacks anything resembling one; in short it’s a gas-filled structure that allows the seaweed to float. It similarly lacks sporophytes, aka kelp reproductive organs.

With that out of the way, it’s finally time to actually talk about my favorite fella!

Dhelmise is, of course, based on kelp, if it wasn’t obvious; though it’s green(or red if shiny), it shares the most similarities with various brown kelps— I’ll get into that soon. Each individual has one stipe, which resembles a chain when not at rest but otherwise isn’t visible, and an average of five blades. They have two holdfasts on either side of their stipe, rather than just the one that is typical of real kelps; these are the apical holdfast, which is the one that clings to the helm, and the basal holdfast, which clings to the anchor. Oddly enough, the blades are always closer to the basal holdfast than the apical one when the body is fully extended, despite that being less efficient for photosynthesis. (Had I designed it, this wouldn’t be the case, but whatever.)

This does mean they can have a bit of a smell to them, which can take some getting used to, though I wouldn’t describe it as unpleasant— they kinda just smell like the ocean.

Also, while they can spend a good deal of time out of the water, they are very prone to scorching if out in high temperatures and direct sunlight for extended periods. This is especially common on the edges of their blades and on the parts of their bodies adjacent to exposed metal, like the anchor. Care also needs to be taken to make sure they don’t dry out, which would make them lethargic and brittle, and therefore more prone to injury. Both of these conditions are reversible, but in severe cases it can take months for them to recover fully. Plus, it’s just not very nice; you don’t like getting sunburnt, do you? On the other hand, unlike many other grass types, they don’t seem to mind cold temperatures; just keep direct contact with ice, sleet, and snow to a minimum and they should be perfectly fine.

While some sources claim it’s based on dead man’s fingers, Codium fragile, I don’t think that conclusion is founded on anything more than the fact that it’s a marine macroalgae, dark green, and has dead in the name, which fits a ghost type. Some say it’s because of the shape, but I disagree there as well, as while it does branch, it doesn’t do so from one point and is more tubular in appearance than other species. It also tends to grow outward rather than upward, and doesn’t get nearly large enough to make sense scale-wise. Lastly, it usually doesn’t attach itself to objects that are particularly large or heavy, to the point that it can often be found washed up on beaches, and also grows most often in very shallow waters, where it can be exposed when tides recede. This does not make much sense for Dhelmise, which clearly prefers very solid, heavy objects to anchor itself to(no pun intended), relies on actual shipwrecks to get those objects rather than ships that are merely beached and abandoned, and would likely prefer deeper waters where it will find its preferred prey.

Though they may occasionally make their way onto land, as is seen outside of Circhester, this may be light-seeking behavior, given that portions of Circhester Bay’s waters are covered by ice that would block sunlight. More likely, however, it is actually an adaptation to deal with the presence of Pincurchin in that very same area; as these Pokémon feed on seaweed, it would make sense that Dhelmise would seek to avoid them. Keep in mind that this is currently the only location where Dhelmise can be naturally found on land, despite also being found in Alola by fishing in Seafolk Village, the Isle of Armor by fishing on Challenge Beach, and in the Crown Tundra by fishing in the Frigid Sea. Pincurchin is not found in any of those other locations, thus they would not be pressuring the local sea creepers to leave the water.

With all of that in mind, I think a more fitting species for comparison would be Nereocystis luetkeana, aka bullwhip kelp, ribbon kelp, etc; not only does it have multiple blades growing out from one point, but it does so at the top of the stipe(or rather from the pneumatocyst) and not all along it, making it similar in shape and growth habit to Dhelmise. In fact, the location of the pneumatocyst combined with the blades even bears a slight resemblance to the way Dhelmise attaches to the ship’s helm, just facing upward rather than outward. It’s also much closer in size, being known to grow up to 118 feet— Dhelmise’s “chain” is said to be able to extend for hundreds of yards, but as far as I’m aware there aren’t any kelps that can get to 600 feet.

Another possible inspiration is found in Pterygophora californica, aka stalked kelp. This species is another brown macroalgae like N. luetkeana, exhibits branching behavior of the blades even closer to that seen in Dhelmise—bullwhip kelp has significantly more blades than stalked kelp— and is much closer to the size Dhelmise is listed as in the dex, reaching around 9’8” compared to the just under 13 foot ghost type; not exact, but Codium fragile doesn’t even reach three feet tall. As a little bonus, another common name for this species is walking kelp, which seems like a nice fit for the sea creeper Pokémon. The resemblance doesn’t end there, though, as stalked kelp is known to often be used as a point of attachment for other algaes, including the previously discussed bullwhip kelp.

That leads into the next thing I want to talk about, which is the fascinating ecological relationship between Dhelmise, Skrelp, and Dragalge. Dhelmise and Skrelp are said to get along. While this isn’t really elaborated on in the dex, it’s safe to assume that Dhelmise allows Skrelp to use it as a hiding place, given that the latter is said to hide amongst kelp. Additionally, a Dhelmise would serve as a literal anchor point for an otherwise easily swept away Skrelp, which, aside from referencing how seahorses/sea dragons cling to things, parallels the way bullwhip kelp will attach itself to stalked kelp.

While it’s true that Dhelmise is predacious and uses its seaweed to drain the life force of its prey— after more or less giving them blunt force trauma via anchor, of course— it only targets large Pokémon like Wailmer and Wailord. Skrelp is really small, so it probably wouldn’t even register as worth scaring off, let alone trying to hunt given its lack of a grass weakness and resistance to steel. Given that it has predators to hide from, one might actually be safest clinging to a Dhelmise; it could intimidate anything that would threaten the little sea dragon, if not seek to actively attack it if it’s large enough to be seen as worthwhile prey. Additionally, both of them use seaweed and detritus, with Skrelp feeding on rotting seaweed as its primary food source while Dhelmise infuses seaweed and detritus into its body to maintain it; perhaps it’s a situation where the little guy takes bits and pieces of what the big guy’s having.

You might think this is one-sided in favor of the Skrelp, much like how bullwhip kelp will shade out and put additional stress on stalked kelp, but Dhelmise may actually benefit from this relationship at the species level. When Skrelp evolves into Dragalge— which are specifically described as getting along really well with Dhelmise, fun fact, perhaps out of gratitude for offering safety before their evolution— they gain poison that can corrode ships and cause them to sink. As we know, Dhelmise are born when seaweed merges with ship debris; other than breeding with Ditto, which wouldn’t occur naturally and always results in an egg, it’s safe to assume they cannot actively reproduce… At least, not in a way that would result in any genetic diversity.

I headcanon that Dhelmise share some traits with seaweed beyond just appearance and literally being born from it. Specifically, they’re capable of asexual reproduction via fragmentation; if a piece of a Dhelmise were to break off in battle or as a result of some other environmental factor, it can essentially act the same way a brand new Dhelmise would, seeking out and, if it succeeds, merging with ship debris. This will always result in a genetic clone of the original Dhelmise, though, and unless it was close to a wreck other than the one it was born from, usually doesn’t succeed in creating a new fully fledged individual. As for kelp abilities they lack, they cannot produce sporophytes like many living kelps do, much like they don’t grow pneumatocysts. Sexual reproduction in that manner, therefore, isn’t possible; the only ways to get wholly new Dhelmise are for them to form naturally from kelp or via captive breeding with Ditto.

Regardless of how they come to be, the bottom line is that without shipwrecks, new Dhelmise can’t form in the wild, or at least can’t form and survive. The ship debris is key to their hunting strategy, to the point that their signature move is Anchor Shot and their signature ability is Steelworker, both based around how they utilize the debris they merged with. One might begin to form and search for a shipwreck(perhaps literally creeping along the sea floor), but if it doesn’t find the debris it needs quickly enough, the tissue that would have become its holdfasts will eventually wither and die off, leaving the unrealized sea creeper unable to cling to debris and unable to hunt, until it eventually starves and goes back to being regular dead kelp. Sad, but probably what happens the majority of the time.

Now, healthy Skrelp will eventually evolve into Dragalge, which can and apparently will sink ships in their territories. That obviously creates more shipwrecks. More shipwrecks will allow more Dhelmise to successfully form, thus keeping the species alive(or at least as alive as a ghost type can be…) in the wild despite the extremely specific conditions that they require to develop. Therefore, it would make sense for Dhelmise to want to ensure the safety of Skrelp if they can, as a sort of investment. After all, it’s safe to assume that modern maps, weather radar, and navigational equipment drastically reduced the number of shipwrecks that occur “naturally”, so outside of the possibility of intentional ship sinking by humans specifically to help bolster wild Dhelmise populations(or just to create habitat in general, like was seen in ORAS with the Sea Mauville, even though that wasn’t sunken intentionally so much as just not demolished after sinking), they might actually have to rely on this long-term relationship as a way of adapting to modern technological advances.

In the past, before ships and their various paraphernalia existed, Dhelmise were probably significantly closer to normal kelp, not growing nearly as large and relying on things like rocks as their hunting implements of choice. Though that assumes they hunted at all; as alluded to earlier, I headcanon that Dhelmise are also capable of photosynthesis, and for more reasons than just the fact that it’s the way their primary inspiration gets energy. Prior to Sword and Shield they could straight up learn the move Synthesis. They’re still able to learn the clearly photosynthesis-based combination of Growth and Sunny Day, along with both Solar Beam and Solar Blade. All of these involve absorbing energy from the sun and then utilizing it in some manner.

It wouldn’t be a stretch to theorize that, when the species didn’t have access to what might be the perfect tool for taking down their preferred prey— anchors can not only knock out the float whales, but actually weigh enough to then drag them beneath the waves for feeding— they might instead have been primarily photoautotrophs, in addition to being detritivorous. Perhaps they were even blind, or could easily become blinded due to their eye not having any sort of external protection; modern Dhelmise have their eyes safe behind glass and metal. Or maybe they were always predatory, but fed passively on smaller fish Pokémon that tried to use their seaweed as a hiding place. Regardless of exactly how, it’s almost certain that the species was very different in the past, and likely only became how they are now as a result of human activities.

Pivoting a bit, odds are the reason they prefer such targets in the first place is because they offer more life force to drain than smaller Pokémon. In a way you can treat the HP stat as a measure of life energy; higher HP means more vitality, which means it’s more worthwhile prey. Realistically, a hunt has to be worth the opportunity cost of not just soaking up the sun and safely getting energy that way. If hunting a Wailord would provide significantly more energy in a shorter period of time than just doing photosynthesis, the risk involved could be seen as worthwhile. On the other hand, an injured or weakened Dhelmise might not attempt that hunt because the relative safety of getting energy without initiating a battle that could go wrong is more appealing than trying to get more energy more quickly, especially when the risk of failure is greater; an unsuccessful hunt, even if it doesn’t end in further injury, is a waste of time and energy.

To further elaborate on the photosynthesis side of things, it’s safe to assume that shiny Dhelmise actually don’t see much of a difference in photosynthetic efficiency. Red macroalgae does exist, and like their green and brown counterparts they are all photoautotrophs, which means it’s efficient enough to be viable. With that said, the actual color of red seaweed is often quite dark and closer to the brown side of the spectrum, so not all that similar to the bright, vibrant red of shiny Dhelmise. It’s also safe to assume another kelp species wasn’t an inspiration for the shiny, as there are no red macroalgae that are also considered kelp. Anyone familiar with me knows what this is going to be about, but I’m gonna include even more information this time!

There are various types of non-kelp macroalgae that closely resemble its shiny coloration. They usually don’t grow very large, and color-wise seem to get less similar the larger they get. The closest match I could find color-wise is the pom pom or dragon's breath macroalgae(Gracilaria hayi), which is evidently somewhat popular in saltwater aquariums but seems to remain even smaller, and much like the next example has little resemblance aside from being red. A larger red seaweed is dulse, Palmaria palmata, which can occasionally reach a whopping one meter tall, or 3.3 feet; notably this species is commonly eaten in places like Iceland and Atlantic Canada.

I feel like this is as good a time as ever to point out something… Interesting. In Scarlet and Violet, there’s a point where you have to go and bid on some extremely rare red wakame; this is actually Kofu’s gym puzzle and therefore isn’t optional. However, the word wakame refers specifically to a type of edible kelp, which, as I established earlier, does not come in red, and especially not in the shade of red seen in-game. While you could say it’s just a fantasy version of a real life thing, the way it’s explicitly stated to be incredibly rare leads me to believe the red wakame you bid for could actually be kelp harvested from a shiny Dhelmise. I say harvested because I trust Kofu not to support inhumane practices, and taking parts of a Dhelmise without its consent would be incredibly fucked up and incredibly risky.

Considering how large they get— without taking into account how one of their likely inspirations can grow two feet a day— and the fact that it’s been established various grass types have edible or medicinal parts that can be humanely harvested from them directly(Tropius fruits, Petilil leaves) or collected as they naturally fall off(Toedscool flaps), I doubt it’s a stretch to believe Dhelmise also have edible parts. Most likely their blades. I imagine they’re not too different from regular kelp, actually, considering they literally were just regular seaweed at one point. The main differences are the sheer novelty of “this isn’t just regular kelp” and the need to find individuals that will actually cooperate and allow themselves to be harvested. After all, I really doubt you’re going to be getting away unscathed if you try to take anything from a Dhelmise by force, let alone part of the Dhelmise itself.

To elaborate on that because I love yapping and also it gives an excuse to mention another headcanon: the dex says Dhelmise weighs 463 pounds, but realistically it’s actually a lot heavier because Pokémon weight-to-size ratios are notorious for not making sense. I choose to interpret this as the weight of a Dhelmise not counting the anchor; the anchor technically isn’t part of its body, but the helm would be counted since that’s where its eye is. Now it might seem like over 400 pounds is too heavy, but remember that it somehow has enough material to extend for hundreds of yards, which is 600 feet minimum. Anchors of a similar size to the one Dhelmise has usually weigh several hundred pounds alone. What this means is that, in short, any physical attack by a Dhelmise on a human is going to be devastating, if not immediately deadly. So like. Maybe save fucking around and finding out for something that can’t break your bones like twigs or crack your skull like a peanut shell if provoked?

That was quite a tangent! Back to shiny talk, now’s the part you’ve all been waiting for. Dhelmise’s shiny coloration may actually be based on a phenomenon known as a red tide. This event occurs when there is a large bloom of red algae, most notably Karenia brevis(though as a dinoflagellate its status as an algae is actually debated), which in high concentrations will make seawater look bright red, almost as if the ocean itself is bleeding. The more dense the bloom, the more it starves the surrounding water of oxygen, which will asphyxiate sea life in and around it. K. brevis will also release toxins into the surrounding water which further increases its potential to kill surrounding wildlife like fish and even marine birds and mammals, and it remains toxic once it dies and begins to decay. A bright red marine algae associated with death seems pretty fitting for a ghost type’s shiny, especially considering Dhelmise is able to learn Sludge Wave as its only poison type move.

Here’s the fun part: Dhelmise coloring is completely independent of the macroalgae they form from. Doesn’t matter if the seaweed was brown, green, or almost purple, it will always create an individual that is dark green or bright red. How does this happen? Good question! Why does normal kelp sometimes turn red? Who the hell knows! I sure don’t! The mechanisms behind shiny coloration in Pokémon aren’t understood in even the most well-studied species, so suffice to say it’s still quite the mystery in Dhelmise.

Now then, you might think that if you artificially initiate asexual reproduction in a shiny one, you’d get shiny offspring, like an infinite shiny exploit. After all, they’re genetically identical, right? Haha, nope, somehow it doesn’t work like that! The red seaweed, which used to be green or brown or whatever and turned red for seemingly no reason, will just turn that familiar dark green as the new individual develops for also seemingly no reason. Or, in exceedingly rare cases, a clone of a normal Dhelmise can turn out shiny. They’ll be genetically identical in every way and yet one will be a drastically different color. It makes zero sense and yet it is the truth. Because why not! Nature doesn’t care about what should make sense, it just does what it does!

Anyways… Switching gears once again, I think my headcanon for how Dhelmise initially form and develop warrants some explanation, as elsewhere outside of this ramble I’ve mentioned offhand that it isn’t well understood in-universe for a variety of reasons. As alluded to earlier, new Dhelmise can come into the world in three ways: the way described in the Pokédex, through asexual reproduction by fragmentation, or through hatching eggs created when breeding them with Ditto. Due to the inherent differences between these manners of origin, the individuals that result will all have some different characteristics.

Normal kelp can begin the process of becoming a Dhelmise in two ways: spontaneously from dead kelp, or as a result of souls lost at sea becoming entangled in live kelp that ends up breaking away, much like how Bramblin are said to form. Beyond that, the process of becoming a full-fledged individual is identical. Next is what I’m going to call the creeping stage, where the sort of proto-Dhelmise will begin to blindly search for a shipwreck, most likely via sensing metal in the water and trying to move towards it. In the vast majority of cases, the individual is ultimately unsuccessful; between the inability to actually see, the way currents can pick them up and carry them away, and the presence of Pokémon that will eat kelp, the odds of one even reaching a shipwreck at all are extremely low, let alone one with suitable, accessible debris it can actually use.

In fact, even if they do reach what they need, it could already be too late. They need to begin the process of merging with the debris relatively quickly after first transforming from normal kelp— within two weeks, at best— or else the cells that would have become their holdfasts will begin to degenerate and wither away, leaving the unrealized individual unable to cling to a helm or anchor even if they do find them. In these situations they will simply run out of energy and starve, reverting back into regular scraps of kelp as if they hadn’t ever existed. They can also die if they begin the merging process in an area that gets no sun; photosynthesis is a necessary energy source until they are established enough to hunt, which can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months depending on conditions.

It stands to reason that most successful natural formations will occur spontaneously near shipwrecks that resulted in a loss of life, as any kelp growing nearby will be more likely to take on a soul and start the process, and the resulting Dhelmise-in-progress will have a shorter distance to travel. Many won’t travel too far from the location they formed in, so one that fragmented from an existing individual could end up searching the same wreck that no longer has a helm or anchor to bind to. Alas, just finding and clinging to the desired debris will not guarantee a successful formation; they start out small and blind, and— until they actually grow into their selected helm or anchor and seek out the other piece—are entirely defenseless. During this time they’re extremely vulnerable to other Pokémon, especially Pincurchin in their native range.

As for the debris itself, most often they will find and cling to the anchor first, simply because these are usually outside the ship and thus more likely to be found quickly by something approaching from the surrounding seabed. They will still be unable to see until finding and merging with a helm, but the anchor will at least aid in orienting them in their surroundings, even if initially incorporating it usually takes a day to several days. One that manages to cling to the helm first will develop an eye sooner, gaining the sense of sight more quickly, with the caveat that orienting themself without an anchor to clearly indicate which direction is down will be significantly more of a challenge. Merging with the helm takes anywhere from several hours to a day, with an eye usually appearing within a few hours after successful incorporation.

Once they have successfully integrated with their items, the new Dhelmise will need to make its way into an area with some amount of sun exposure, which will usually just be shallower waters; photosynthesis will fuel their subsequent development as they “grow into” the debris. At this stage, most will still be almost unrecognizable. The basal holdfast takes a significant amount of time to cover the majority of the anchor, and only after that will their lower blades begin to grow downward from it. This also seems to be when the anchor gains new properties that increase its durability and stop it from corroding, though existing damage is not repaired, and corrosion that has already occurred is not reversed. How this happens is not well understood, beyond it being spectral in nature. In gamer terms, they give their stuff the Unbreaking III enchantment but not Mending.

Compared to their wild counterparts, Dhelmise hatched from eggs are almost always slightly larger and more vigorous to begin with. This is because they will experience some additional growth inside of the egg prior to hatching, and will not spend precious energy in the creeping stage for reasons that will be addressed in a moment. Otherwise, they undergo the same basic processes; eye formation occurs after merging with the helm, and their body will take at least a few weeks to fully cover their anchor. The main difference is that, given how members of this group are almost always bred intentionally— as in, there are no known cases of wild Dhelmise and Ditto creating eggs— conditions are generally way more favorable for them than in the wild. Who would have thought.

They will, assuming the breeder was responsible, more or less skip the creeping stage, as they are offered a helm and anchor to merge with shortly after hatching rather than needing to seek them out. The need to provide such things is actually one of the primary reasons Dhelmise are rarely bred in captivity, in addition to the fact that they are difficult to find and catch for breeding in the first place. It’s not exactly inexpensive! Plus, they are not commonly trained, and most research on Dhelmise is focused on their ecology in the wild, so demand is also quite low. Those not bred purely for research purposes may be raised and habituated to having their blades harvested for culinary use, or will be destined to live in large aquariums or other such public education institutions, sometimes as part of larger displays or even as a focal species.

Lucky individuals may be treated as ambassador Pokémon, as despite their large size and strength, they’re often quite slow and placid— some might even say boring. They aren’t very popular for this role, though, as the space and conditions required to meet all of their needs while looking naturalistic are quite large and fairly complex. In other words, expensive. When not actively participating in programs, they often aren’t very exciting to watch, and organizations generally prefer Pokémon that not only do well interacting with people once trained, but are also interesting or fun to look at outside of programs. The primary exception to this is actually when Skrelp are being used as ambassadors; in such cases, a Dhelmise can help them to feel more safe and secure, while simultaneously highlighting one of their more interesting ecological relationships. Emotional support big seaweed.

So, now that you know what they are(or are likely based on) and how they form, let’s get into some potential ways that individuals can vary beyond just temperament, shininess, and different sizes, shapes, and models of helms and anchors. Because, let’s be real, the odds of every single Dhelmise happening to utilize the exact same size and style of anchor, and one model of ship’s helm to go with that anchor, feels maybe a little bit unlikely.

It isn’t all that uncommon for Dhelmise to have differing blade counts; that is, more or less than five apical blades, which are those that are generally spread out from where the stipe wraps around the helm when at rest. For example, it’s possible for them to develop only four large ones, or six to seven small ones. Individuals with fewer than four blades have not been observed, except in cases of injury where one or more have been torn or cut off entirely and are yet to regrow. The presence of more than seven blade growing points has also not been documented, but blade counts as high as fourteen have been recorded, albeit incredibly rarely. This is a result of doubling, when two blades— usually smaller but of unequal size— grow from the same spot. This can occur with all of a Dhelmise’s blades, only some of them, or even just one.

The exact cause for one to form like this isn’t known, but the trait does not appear to be heritable, even in cases where it was innate. Therefore, the prevailing theory is that it is not genetic, but instead the result of the stipe being damaged or otherwise having its growth disrupted in some fashion during the individual’s early development. In these cases the condition is permanent. It can also be caused later in life if the area of attachment is damaged, but the blade is not actually severed from the stipe; a new blade will begin growing as part of the healing process, even though the original is still attached. Think of it as similar to a lizard having two tails due to the original failing to actually break off when dropped. In this situation, the doubling is almost always temporary, with the exception being cases of more intense trauma to the stipe.

Doubling can also occur in the basal blades— those that hang down from the anchor— for similar reasons, but as they form later in development it is almost always the result of environmental factors like injury, rather than anything that might permanently alter the growth pattern. It’s also less obvious in older individuals, as there can be a lot of natural variation in basal blade counts. Usually five will form initially, but unlike the apical blades, the basal blades do not have specific growing points, and their positioning is more to do with the shape of their anchor.

Significantly more rarely, a Dhelmise can actually end up forming two eyes; why this happens is, you guessed it, not known. While it might seem advantageous, in reality it actually tends to cause poorer coordination and increased susceptibility to confusion. Dhelmise eyes have the peculiar trait of being able to spin, much like the compasses they resemble; this may be to offset the way their helms tend to naturally rotate to and fro while they sway, akin to a gyroscope. The swaying itself also isn’t understood, with most theories boiling down to the idea that they are simply doing what they did as kelp, even if the mechanism that originally led to such movement isn’t acting on them anymore.

Regardless of why their eyes are the way they are and why they always seem to be under the influence of some invisible current or tide, the bottom line is that their natural movement doesn’t disorient them when they have only one eye. This does not seem to be the case with binocular individuals, as their eyes will rarely actually rotate in sync, leading to two conflicting, partially overlapped visual inputs. Most will keep one eye covered by one of their blades almost constantly, while others seem to cover one eye at least when hunting or changing locations. When both eyes are exposed, they tend to be noticeably less responsive to motion, with subtle movements often going entirely unnoticed. However, when one eye is covered, they behave more similarly to average members of the species. This suggests possible visual fatigue caused by the two visual inputs themselves making it appear that everything is moving, effectively concealing actual movement.

One of the most interesting things about Dhelmise is that, like many seaweeds, they actually have noticeably high rates of chimerism, or having two or more distinct sets of DNA; in some areas this can be observed in around 30% of individuals. Chimeric Dhelmise will arise from chimeric seaweed, though in much rarer cases it can occur if two proto-Dhelmise bind to the same debris and end up essentially fusing. The latter is likely what would cause a bicolor Dhelmise, or an individual that displays both normal and shiny coloration; chimeras arising from just one piece of seaweed will either be entirely green or entirely red, regardless of whether the seaweed has multiple sets of DNA.

The different genetic material is not evenly distributed, much like in regular seaweed, instead having the most variation in the holdfasts and almost none in the stipe or blades. Also, whether a Dhelmise is a chimera or not will pretty much never be visible externally, instead being something that can only be confirmed with DNA testing. The sole exception is the incredibly rare bicolor types, which will of course have two colors; of those that have been documented, most are primarily green with bits of red showing on their holdfasts, but they can also be the reverse. What seems to be consistent among all chimeric individuals is that they are generally more hardy than those with only one set of DNA, growing larger and being overall less prone to issues that can affect the species. This may be comparable to hybrid vigor.

Alright, this is pretty close to the 6000 word mark, and I’ve said pretty much all I have to say about JUST KIDDING. LIKE MY FIELDS ON POKÉFARM Q THERE’S ALWAYS MORE DHELMISE. THIS IS WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR AFTER CLICKING THAT READMORE, PAL: PURE UNFILTERED INFODUMPING ABOUT THE FUNNY SEAWEED. The machinations of my mind may be an enigma, but by the end of this, Dhelmise sure won’t be!

Let’s talk temperament! Dhelmise are actually pretty easygoing in a majority of situations. Everyone always focuses on the fact that they hunt and the way that they hunt, but in reality for every period of hunting activity they usually go several weeks to several months seemingly just sitting around on the seafloor doing nothing. Maybe they will extend their chain on particularly sunny days to do some good ol’ photosynthesizing, but they’ll retract their helms quickly when ships, people, or other Pokémon approach. They tend to avoid conflict when possible. Provoking one accidentally is extremely difficult, except when dealing with individuals that are already under stress or that are just unusually high-strung.

Dhelmise attacking seafaring vessels isn’t unheard of, but outside of cases where the ship was actively disturbing one in the midst of hunting or feeding, this is almost always the result of a misunderstanding by an inexperienced individual. When looking from below and taking into account the fact that they’re naturally able to sense the lifeforces of other living things, a ship can seem very similar to a Wailmer or Wailord, especially because many modern ships also have white undersides. While this does mean vessels carrying more people are more likely to be attacked, such a situation can easily be avoided by simply painting the bottom with a color other than white, or adding some kind of easily visible pattern to it that breaks up the shape. Older Dhelmise that have more hunting experience are much better at distinguishing between ships and prey.

Another common misconception is that they are extremely territorial and will “claim” shipwrecks, attacking anyone who dares to get close. In reality, it’s uncommon for one to stay in one place for more than a few months at a time, and especially not in a location that gets little sunlight. They go where their prey goes. While they might have favorite spots to stay in, and are known to try and keep other members of their kind away for the sake of reducing competition— and also to avoid scaring away their prey’s pods, which will avoid areas they think have a lot of Dhelmise present— there have been very few confirmed instances of territorial behavior being enacted on other species of Pokémon, let alone people. There has been exactly one well-documented case where an individual became very protective of a sunken ship, most likely the one it formed from, but it was driven away by trainers.

Most likely, the idea originated from the fact that very new Dhelmise that have only recently established on their debris may lash out in response to people or Pokémon getting close. This is because, up until that point, anything could be a threat, and many things are still unfamiliar to them; just getting that far is practically a miracle, so it makes sense they’d take a while to realize they don’t have to fight for their life 24/7. The world can be a scary place for any young Pokémon, even if you wouldn’t expect that kind of perspective from something so large and strong. Just because they’re an almost one ton baby doesn’t mean they aren’t still a baby. Fear can easily be mistaken for anger when it comes to something that isn’t very expressive.

Though, they can actually be very expressive if you know what to look for. The secret is paying attention to their eye. When they’re happy it might turn sideways in a way that almost resembles a closed eye, or it might slant inward or outward when they’re angry or sad. When they’re particularly upset their pupil can narrow, and when they’re excited or see something they want it can widen much more than you’d expect. When they’re confused it’ll spin in random directions, when uncertain or nervous it might move back and forth more quickly than usual, when startled it might briefly stop moving entirely for a moment, and when they’re content it moves slowly and smoothly. Not as slowly as when they’re asleep, though— they DO sleep.

Thanks to psychic types and, more recently, Rotom pokédexes, phones, and tablets, it’s also become apparent that they’re quite slow as far as Pokémon go. Not slow as in stupid or simple minded, they just tend to go about things in a very deliberate manner; acting on impulse isn’t their style, and they don’t seem interested in much in the short-term. This is likely because they’re benthic organisms for the most part, and not a whole lot actually happens down there in terms of action most of the time. You’ll have the occasional frenzy from Wailord falls— sometimes caused by the sea creeper in question— or storms come through and stir things up, or maybe a new shipwreck occurs and causes commotion. Otherwise life is probably quite slow and uneventful for your average Dhelmise, at least in the wild.

Because they put a lot of thought into things before they act, however, they can be extremely stubborn. Impressively so, even. If a trainer’s Dhelmise decides it wants to be in one spot and not move, there is very little to be done about it outside recalling it to its pokéball. If one doesn’t want to battle, it won’t battle. If one is determined to get into something it isn’t supposed to, such as a pokébean storage container, your only option is to physically remove the container from the premises because they will keep trying to get into it and you are not going to be able to stop them. If one doesn’t want to let go of a toy or other item, it’s theirs now, you are not going to be getting it out of their grip and should just hope they lose interest and drop it eventually, or just plan on getting a replacement.

Speaking of holding things, yeah, they can do that. Most obviously they can manipulate their blades to wrap around objects to hold them, akin to tendrils or vines used by some other Pokémon. They also seem to be able to hold objects with part of their apical holdfast, as if adhering them to itself, though in reality it’s likely actually part of their stipe that does so. When the body is extended, it is the chain that seems to be able to hold things, while neither holdfast ever seems to be used. Perhaps it’s neither, actually, and this is done through spectral means, using something we can’t see to grasp things their blades would struggle to handle. Notably, it’s in the same spot where they “eat” small food items from, like berries. Do they have an invisible mouth there? Probably not, but the way they hold round or smooth things there can be similar to dog Pokémon playing fetch.

They don’t seem to have an aversion to physical contact overall. Like with many other Pokémon, it’s better to let them initiate it first until you have an idea of what their likes and dislikes are, and also because it’s important to set boundaries early. Much like you train dog Pokémon not to bite when playing, you don’t want your giant macroalgae friend to squeeze your arm with one of their blades until the blood circulation gets cut off. At the same time, you shouldn’t try grabbing their blades unless they’ve been offered up by the Dhelmise for that kind of thing of its own accord; not only can they be broken off if they try to pull it away and you reflexively tighten your grip, but such an act can be interpreted as more of an act of aggression than of play or bonding, especially if it’s one you caught in the wild.

Something else that’s very important to keep in mind is that they tend to either really enjoy or absolutely despise having the handles on their helm touched or held onto. So uh. Maybe don’t try to play sailor until you’ve made sure the one you’re interacting with isn’t going to reflexively spin its wheel to get you to let go and accidentally break your wrist in the process. In the same vein, they often don’t like having their anchors handled or otherwise messed with, especially where the metal is exposed or corroded. Cleaning it is rarely necessary, so unless there’s something that really needs to be addressed, like something stuck to or wrapped around it, it’s best to leave it be. If one actually lets you do anything with the anchor, that’s a sign of trust.

When it comes to interacting with other Pokémon, they actually tend to get along much better with smaller Pokémon than larger ones. Perhaps it’s related to how they will often act as a shelter of sorts for small fish Pokémon like Wishiwashi and Skrelp. In an example of a bit of a double standard, they don’t seem nearly as concerned about small Pokémon touching or climbing on their anchors, at most attempting to tilt in a way to harmlessly slide them off. They might get tired out or overstimulated by particularly energetic Pokémon, but seem to be quite patient and won’t lash out unless things get overbearing. The exception being if a little guy tries to pick a fight, in which case things tend to go about as you’d expect.

With larger Pokémon, and especially Pokémon larger than the Dhelmise themself, you really have to take care to set boundaries and make sure they understand friend versus food. One on one introductions should be made beforehand, so that you can anticipate how they will get along prior to having both out in a group, though this really goes for any Pokémon you expect to interact with others at some point. They usually don’t show nearly as much patience for bigger Pokémon at first, and will likely take longer to warm up to them. Once they do, though, they seem way more interested in actively interacting with them. Perhaps they feel less concerned about potentially injuring them due to not seeing them?

Though they don’t tend to readily start fights, if one gets started they can be very efficient at ending them if they get annoyed or angry enough. Preventing things from escalating to that point is therefore very important for the safety of other Pokémon, even if they were fucking around and about to find out. Sometimes the finding out part is a good learning experience that will encourage them to be more well behaved, and sometimes it’s an anchor to the face that will encourage you to practice speedrun routing to the nearest Pokémon center. Better to not see which option it’ll be.

Finally, remember that Dhelmise are just like any other Pokémon! They’ll have likes and dislikes, personalities, various little habits and quirks to pick up on… They’re more than just huge, scary whale hunters or boring, lazy piles of junk, even if that’s not always immediately obvious at first glance. Each one is unique and deserves appreciation. And merch. And a marketable plushie. And one million dollars in cold, hard cash.

If you’re reading this, you finally made it to the end! You survived! Congratulations! You get a gold star ⭐️ and my gratitude.