#turned out long so I put it under a readmore

[ksclaw]

it's so empty when there's nothing around to fill the space.

I've had dogs all my life, and my latest two puppers are gone now. One I lost 2 years ago, the other only a few weeks ago. And it all feels so empty and hollow.

My mom is getting a new puppy next week. We both went to see a breeder with puppies, with the intention of perhaps finding a little companion for me. we both fell for a sweet little boy, but I know my mom is lonely too, so when she said she was tempted to get him for herself, I told her to please, go ahead, he is a sweetheart I know he'll be right for her.

We've been looking around for others for me, but I've had no luck so far. Another breeder was... Cold for lack of a better word. She was more interested in showing off what her adult dogs could do, rather than letting me actually see the puppies (they toddled around our feet while we talked and fell asleep under the coffee table.)

Another had one single scottie puppy, but I could tell that he wasn't meant to be mine. A week after we lost Sara, someone had lost their own dog, and they got that puppy instead. And a part of me thought "He was meant to be theirs, and that's okay."

I had another 'maybe' just a few days ago. Went to visit someone who had a few puppies, but she had four boys and one girl. I liked the girl best, but I wanted to think it over, and the owner had other people coming. So I thought 'if the girl is still there, maybe I'll give it a chance.'

But she had been taken by someone else the next day. So be it.

There hasn't really been anyone else since then. Nothing that felt like it could be right, or even a maybe. Nothing that makes me go "yeah I'd be willing to drive several hours to take a look."

It may sound picky, but I don't want a dog, just to get a dog. I don't want a random object.

Friends will know how much I loved my dogs. And there's a big hole where they both used to be. Their memory is buried in another part of my heart, but the rest is a big void that feels empty. I've had days where I start sobbing from just seeing someone else with a scottie, or even just a puppy.

My heart aches with the memory of going to visit the breeder who had Malik, and her putting him in my lap. And how I just knew that he was mine, and I was his. There's a special warmth you get in your chest, when you get that one puppy (or kitty for some), when they cuddle up in your arms. A feeling you get through out the years you get together.

Malik would check up on me. He would sit and stare me down, or he would come and hop up so his front paws were on my thigh, just to get my attention, to let me know he wanted something, or to check on me if he could tell I was upset about something. He was my little watch dog, my protector.

I want to have that feeling again. It's possible that it will be a bit before I get that feeling again. But even if it hurts, it's a feeling worth waiting for.

[tgcg]

ms paint. you know her. u used her age 8 to make loads of rainbow ovals all over the canvas and then scramble it with selection tool. now u will know her true powers with my handyrandy tips under the readmore. some will be pretty basic and others are very special.

this post has 8 cool trix to learn for you. enjoy and i may do another in the future if i remember/learn more stuff

some of it might be common knowledge. but its got some deep cuts. all tips have gifs to show process easily.

🙂 enjoy and i hope this encourages you to fuck around in mspaint more

soundtrack for this post (loop it while you learn for advanced learning experience)

TIP 1) the right click trick

left and right mouse click correspond to col1 and col2 respectively, which u can see in the top bar. this applies to all brushes and the fill tool like above. when using shapes col2 will be the fill colour (if you have solid fill selected). right clicking with shape maker will reverse the colours use on the shape.

TIP 2) right click eraser

this one is extremely helpful for lineart or add shading. the eraser always uses col2. so your eraser can technically be any colour. but here's where you get powers: right clicking with eraser will only erase onto col1, with col2.

TIP 3) transparent selection change a guy destination

the beloved transparent selection tool works based on what is selected as col2. so long as you have the correct colour as col2 you can make any image transparent and put it on top of anything else. and yes this works with photo bg as you can see.

TIP 4) the gradience

this one is a little more complex. you want to start off with any canvas size, and make as many diagonal coloured bands as you want. (protip: holding down shift makes a perfectly diagonal line with line tool)

then you need to resize the canvas to a width of 1px (make sure you resize by pixels, and do not maintain aspect ratio). then resize again back to its original width (or a different width i cant stop you). you will have your lovely gradience.

TIP 5) superimposter

so. you got a cool gradient and wanna put a guy on it. heres what i do:

i open a 2nd mspaint with same canvas size and draw whatever i want on there. i then pick a completely unrelated colour to my entire piece, and set that as the bg. you could use white, pink, geen, whatever you want as long as it doesnt appear somewhere else in ur drawing. copy the guy.

go back to your gradient tab. ensure that col2 is set as that bg colour you picked (lilac for me). have "transparent selection" enabled. paste your guy in. cue fanfare

TIP 6) advanced superimposter

the great thing about this method is u can put multiple gradients in multiple areas of the image. this is where it gets all japanese printmaking type of shit. ukiyo-esque

all you need to do is make another canvas with a new gradient, ensure col2 is set as the colour you want to replace, then paste your original piece onto the new gradient. now my guy has a soft fade. you can do this as much as you want. (you could even make a canvas with a texture or photo and paste your drawing onto there)

TIP 7) "sketch layer"

so as you now know, col2 is what is removed when you click "transparent selection". which means you can also remove any instance of a colour from ur drawing. which means you can have a unique colour for sketch layer and remove it from the drawing later. i admittedly dont do this but it is a great trick to have.

now combine this with lowering your dpi for smoother lines. may seem obvious but it helps. its like a free stabiliser whenever u want.

TIP 8) rainbow art

now this is where you can get dizzee rascal "bonkers". check out my small and shitty rainbow trick. you can select anything and hold down shift, then drag with left mouse, to turn that selection into its own brush. i even did it with a guy. and you can of course do this with a photo as well.

🙂well that it for now. hope you liked it thanks for reading now back to your regularly scheduled tgcg programming

[lucabyte]

obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask

also your art is amazing

Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!

and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...

I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:

This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...

My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.

It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)

The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)

And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.

but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.

Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)

Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.

As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.

Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)

This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)

Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.

Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.

But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.

I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.

*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍

**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....

Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.

And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.

Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?

I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.

[trinketstar]

what do you think of pomni and ragatha’s relationship?

It's VERY interesting. This ones gonna get long so I'm putting a readmore

They're definitely being set up as one of the most important dynamics in the show. In ep 1 they spent the most time together and each one since has had a notable moment of tension between them. It's clear that they're going to be good friends at some point but they started off on the wrong foot and haven't really recovered enough to really be friends yet. Rags is VERY focused on trying to befriend Pomni specifically, and Poms seems either disinterested or finds it overbearing.

The thing that makes Pomni different from the rest of the cast is that she isn't really hiding anything about herself. Everyone else is closed off or ingenuine in some way, whether they mean to be or not. Pomni is extremely honest and blunt. When Gummigoo told Pomni to tell him what he is, she just told him straight up. She's kind but still says what's on her mind. And that seems to be a quality she appreciates in others. Pom only connected with Gummi and Kinger because they both had genuine conversations about their feelings and completely opened themselves up to each other.

Now Ragatha is on the WHOLE OTHER END of things. She's trying to make nice. Keep the peace. If Gummigoo had asked HER what he was, she woulda made up something that sounded nice and perfect for the candyland story and told him to head home to his mom.

And of COURSE she's like this! She has to be roommates with this tiny handful of people for eternity! And if they get too upset they turn into monsters!! I'd be faking nice too!!

She clearly cares a lot for Pomni, genuinely. Ragatha is a person who craves companionship and wants to feel loved, and in an isolating place like the circus of course she'd be excited to get a fresh start with a brand new friend! It's a rare opportunity!

It's just that Pomni's whole life has been ripped away from her and she's got other things to think about right now. She's got little patience for the fake role-play adventures and that includes Ragatha's platitudes about playing along with them. All of these people are strangers to Pomni, and until very recently she hasn't been thinking about the others very much at all. It's less that Pomni is a selfish person, and more that she's still in shock and self-preservation mode. It's not until Kinger tells her to cherish the people around her that Pomni goes back to let Ragatha know that her efforts were appreciated.

But even though Rags loves Pomni genuinely and wants them to be close, she's not being honest about her own feelings. She clearly still holds it against Pomni for leaving her behind for the exit door, and is jealous that Pom became so close with Gummigoo instead of her.

Pomni's actions in episode 1 were completely understandable. She was in a blind panic. She thought she was going to die, and self-preservation is an instinct that takes over in those situations. But Ragatha is the type of person who represses her own feelings for the sake of making others comfortable, and she feels hurt that Pomni didn't act the way Ragatha believes she would have done in that situation, which is unfair of her. She won't be able to have a healthy relationship with Pomni until she actually talks to Pomni about it, or just accepts that Pomni didn't mean to hurt her and moves on.

But I get the feeling that Ragatha is one of those people that wants to avoid starting a tough conversation, and will ruminate on it without saying anything, and hopes that Pomni will read her mind and apologize without Rags needing to bring it up first.

But that probably won't happen, because usually people don't assume that their friends are secretly mad at them about something. And so it'll boil under the surface until Ragatha blows up and says something out of nowhere. And hoooo boy THAT will be interesting.

All that being said, weirdly enough I don't really ship them? Not with their current dynamic anyway. The fanart is adorable tho

[flufflecat]

The theraprism text reads: "YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER"

And the fine print is under a readmore because its very long:

"This contract is legal and binding. We reserve the right to use your likeness, face, voice, and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary. Sans soul, your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day, never making eye contact, not even processing that you have eyes at all. No amount of interacting will move them to a place where they can remember, in feeling, the thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together, each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river. You were birds. You were trees with roots entangled, drinking in the sunlight together. “Wherever we go next, whatever you choose, I will always be right there with you.” Thats done, buddy. Congratulations! You have chosen Bill instead! McDonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow M on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream “The fries, the fries, they don’t degrade in nature!!! It’s an immortal food!!! They will be in landfills long past our deaths!” Good god, the things I’ve seen. Me, who am I? Oh I’m Bill’s previous lawyer. He put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe. I used to be so hot! I was so fine! Now I’m fine print. Speaking of which, Bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object, a strange creature, a concept, a sentence, a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it. If at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul, you will be swiftly denied. Unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you, then Bill might want to come along. By signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food. It will turn to ash in your mouth. A fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you. Bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary, especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition. Soulmakeoverrr! Your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects. This has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die. Signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife, including but not limited to: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Big Corner, Flow State, The Dream House, The Reincarnation Processing Center, Axolotl’s Tank and Consequences Hole. Signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms. Signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend. They can sense what is gone. Cats are indifferent. Signee may experience occasional demon possession  from Horculus the Red, Plabos the Merciless, Morbus son of Mortem, Plaga the Oozing and other such common demons roaming Earth searching for weakened, empty vessels. Tips for ripping your soul out at home: watching Youtube commentary channels, attending an extended family event with an open bar, using generative AI and asserting that you are creating, turning a blind eye to human suffering, amassing more wealth than needed, purchasing a blue checkmark"

[erodasfishtacos]

The Body Factory (sexclubowner!h)

+

Hellloooo!

It’s been a long while since I posted here. I am still going strong on patreon with 4-5 one shots a month with anywhere from 8 to 14k words usually (sometimes more) + blurbs. I decided to released one of my new tropes, just part one on here and if it sounds good maybe consider joining for $3USD a month to read more parts of this and many others coming up!!!

prompt: yn doesn’t feel fufilled in her relationship and so her fiancé, Arthur, comes up with an idea to help but it doesnt turn out as either of them expected aka sex club owner!h

word count: 8k

warnings: under-negotiation, power play, mean h, choking, safeword, cheating but not really yet

🛑 there is a scene that could potentially be triggering so i am going to put a brief summary at the end of the fic if you’d like to check whether it’s a appropriate read for yourself. 🛑

Author’s Note: I have had this idea on my mind for months and have been so extremely excited to share it with you. It has really really been inspiring to me as I don’t have a trope like this. I hope you enjoy.

++

Arthur was nice.

Arthur was a safe choice.

It’s why when YN’s father introduced them, it didn’t really seem like an option to turn down the invitation to go out to dinner at the swankiest restaurant in town.

The date had been so incredibly unexciting that YN had no doubt that he would not ask for a second one.

They had nothing in common, the space was often filled with an awkward silence, and averted gazes to the walls or out the window next to their seating.

Arthur was nice.

Arthur was polite, he held the door and paid for the bill before walking her to her car with the chaste kiss to her cheek.

It absolutely boggled her mind when her father informed her the next day that Arthur had told her that he had an amazing time and was going to ask her for a second date in the next upcoming days.

YN hated the mere idea of disappointing her parents, she had already let them down enough with her career choice not to join the family business

:readmore:

instead becoming neonatal nurse, despite that being a massive accomplishment, it wasn’t praised because she didn’t go to be a lawyer like both her mother and father.

It felt like most of the time she was on thin ice with her parents because of her education and career choice, even down to the car she drove (they thought it was too sporty and not practical enough) which left her in a precarious position.

She relied on them for help with her student loans.

YN was still trying to get her feet on the ground with her apartment landlord just bumping up her rent by nearly five-hundred pounds, her car note, among all the other things that came with being an adult that she wasn’t financially capable of managing yet.

Her parents agreed to pay for her school loans.

However, it came with silet threat of staying in their good gracious or they would cut her off at any moment, they had threatened it enough when she got into nursing school and informed them that she would be attending, she must have heard them threaten her inheritance half a million times.

Arthur was her ticket back into her parent’s limelight.

He was fresh out of law school but he was incredibly intelligent, good at what he did, and had multiple firms vying for him to join their legal council but he had chosen YN’s family’s business because of their well-known reputation.

Arthur came from old money, which had given him an extremely privileged life and a headstart into success as soon as he was born.

He was the great-grandson of an oil tycoon whom he had reaped the benefits ever since.

The second date happened, then the third, then the fourth.

No spark.

No chemistry.

Atleast on YN’s end because Arthur seemed happy as a clam in their relationship, he praised YN to anyone who would listen, and was consistently bragging about their life to anyone that would listen to him.

He was nice to her.

He remembered important dates, brought her flowers to work, and had dinner made when she walked in the door on nights that she worked late shifts and he got home before her.

Time passes and they celebrate their first year anniversary, then their second, then their third.

On the fourth was when he got down on one knee and professed his love to her in front of all their family and friends on Christmas Day at an extravagant party at his parent’s estate.

The diamond ring that he slid onto her finger was ridiculous, too big to not just be flaunting wealth, and it wasn’t a style that she liked but she lied and told him that she loved it.

There was an emptiness in her chest when he proposed, she was teary-eyed but she couldn’t determine whether it was from happiness or dread that she was going to spend the rest of her life with the man in front of her.

It wasn’t his fault in the slightest.

Arthur was just Arthur.

He lacked depth, there was nothing behind his twinkling brown eyes beside law, money, and judgement.

Arthur treated her nicely consistently, they barely ever fought, and he never raised his voice at her.

When he got frustrated, he just got an exasperated tone and took time to himself in his office until he had calmed down enough to talk.

But that was once in a blue moon.

They’ve never had a blow-out because he was so agreeable and accommodating.

That’s exactly what was missing from their relationship.

YN didn’t crave toxicity, not one bit, she wanted a healthy relationship with positive communication, understanding, and all the things that make that up.

YN did crave excitement, humor, sexual tension, and the type of relationship that kept her on her toes, got her adrenaline pumping and making her stomach turn in nervous knots because she didn’t always know what to expect out of her partner.

Arthur was as predictable as a clock, had no spontaneity up his sleeve, and his sense of humor was nonexistent.

YN had a partner that she’d been with in college named Klein.

He wasn’t the love of her life, not by a long shot, but he had been wild, on the edge of insane half-of-the-time, and always kept their relationship exciting.

He would show up at her part-time cafe job, with a fake excuse to her boss about a death in his family, and he needed her support.

When YN would walk out to his motorcycle with him, concerned about his grandmother’s death, he would only smile at her, inform her that his grandmother has been dead for fifteen years, and that he was going to take her on a hike to see a waterfall she’d mentioned wanting to see once in passing.

But then there was their sex life, it was phenomenal and unlike the few half-hapzard experience she had before him.

He was confident, dominant, and introduced her to things that she used to not even have the nerve to say out loud let alone do.

It was him who introduced her to BDSM and they explored it for nearly two and a half years of their relationship.

YN did research while they were together and after the fact, she had even attended a few virtual training sessions to learn about correct techniques, safety precautions, and learning the dynamic of power play which engrossed her to no end.

However, when Klein requested they open their relationship, that had been such an unexpected turn-off that she no longer felt the connection that was there before.

The end of the relationship was amicable, they were still friends on social media and liked each others posts but it was at that point they realized they wanted different things and they couldn’t provide that to one another.

Where Klein wanted flexibility, uncertainty, and fluidity.

YN wanted regimen, structured, and a deep sense of connection with one person.

She did not want multiple doms nor did she want her dom to have multiple submissives.

She wanted all the attention on her, her dom would be absolutely captivated by her and be so connected to her physically, mentally, spiritually that they only want her.

Her ideal dom would never mention sharing.

Which isn’t to shame it because it was more common than not to have an open relationship, partner sharing, and swapping.

YN loved the idea of becoming comfortable with someone enough that she could be a brat which she wasn’t an easy submissive she had come to learn.

Her dominant had to work for her submission, sometimes she crumbled quickly and other times it took multiple punishments until the smirk was wiped from her face and replaced with tears on her puffy cheeks from the pinpricks of pain.

After Klein, she had gone on a few dates, some she even hooked up with but she never clicked enough with them to talk about anything like that.

And so she wrapped it up into a nice, neat box and tucked it into the back of her mind because she would find the right partner who would be compatible sexually with her.

Right?

Arthur and her had no sexual chemistry.

Arthur was just as polite in the bedroom as he was outside of it, he never put her in a unique position, and preferred to rotate between the missionary and doggy style.

He would occasionally go down on her but he didn’t know what he was doing so it didn’t feel like much of anything as most of the time he couldn’t even locate her clit.

Which meant fingering was out of the question because he didn’t even know the g-spot existed.

Anytime she managed to orgasm, it was from her own hand, getting herself off because she was past the point of asking him to try to do it.

Arthur did not have a high sex drive and YN felt guilty for being thankful for it.

He wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was trying, and it was so unsatisfying that YN felt like her skin itched sometimes because she hadn’t realized until Arthur how much she craved sexual intimacy with her significant other.

Again, Arthur initiated once a week, sometimes twice or sometimes not for a few weeks when his work is really busy.

YN was six years into a relationship of unfilled desire, disconnect, and a lack of satisfaction which she would have never seen for herself at only being twenty-nine years old.

The wedding was set for fourteen months away, at a vineyard on the coast of Italy.

It was decided by everyone but her as with most things she felt like nowadays.

++

YN had been scrolling through a blog post when something caught her eye.

It was written by a female who had a similar lack of connection with her partner in the bedroom but wanted more.

The writer had described that as soon as she asked if they could experiment with BDSM that their relationship had completely shifted, they were more in love than ever, and their sex life was more amazing than it had been in nearly a decade.

It was the motivation that YN needed to have the conversation with Arthur, with the hope that it would ignite a flame that had yet to be struck between the two of them.

YN loved Arthur, she wanted to be in love with him but she couldn’t honestly say she was at this point in their relationship.

Arthur had been surprised by the conversation, over dinner one night, if the way he sputtered red wine onto his crisp white button-up was an indicator.

His eyes had gone wide in a look of almost horror and he cleared his throat a handful of times while they discussed it in more detail.

“I just feel like it would be something fun to try out,” YN tries to keep it casual, to not let on to how much she desired this or knew that she would already love it.

“Erm, yeah. I would be open to it,” Arthur had agreed sheepishly, putting down his fork and knife.

“No, I do not want you to feel pressured at all! I just -” YN begins to try to soothe because she had not meant to get such a reaction of concern more than lust out of her fiance.

He chuckles kindly, smiling at her as he reaches across the table to hold her hand, “We can try it, if that’s what you want. I am open to whatever will make you happy, sweetie pie.”

Sweetie pie….

YN tried not to blatantly cringe every time he called her that.

++

It did not work out.

They did not even get a few minutes into foreplay when Arthur backed out, saying that he just didn’t feel like he knew what to do, and that he’d prefer if they just did their normal thing.

YN agreed, trying to swallow the disappointed lump in her throat because she didn’t want to guilt him in to trying anything he wasn’t into.

They didn’t discuss it again after that for a long while.

++

Arthur wasn’t blind to the shift after that night.

He now knew that he was not satisfying a need that YN desired and she had just seemed more subdued since he had called it off but was trying to hide it because he knew that she wasn’t trying to make him feel bad about not wanting it.

It had been on his mind though.

++

“A sex club?” YN’s eyes nearly buldge from her sockets, puting down her glass of water and ignoring the splashes it leaves on her hand because what had Arthur just recommended they try?

“Yes. A BDSM club or a kink club they call it. Maybe if I see other people doing it or we get into the right atmosphere, it will work better. At least off the start?” Arthur seems just as nervous as her, he hadn’t touched his food.

“And…I just…” YN was at a loss for words because this is just the most unexpected turn of events.

“Maybe I can learn from others. Really get good at it for you, you know?” He suggests, his eyes looking anywhere but at hers.

“Yeah, yeah let’s do it.”

++

The Body Factory was the club that Arthur had decided after doing his research.

He needed somewhere secretive, exclusive, and with iron-clad NDA’s so that no one could use this against him in his profession which was fair enough.

That’s where The Body Factor came into play.

There were guidelines to a membership:

You must make over a hundred-and-fifty thousand pounds a year.

You were sign and resign an NDA every three months.

A deposit of ten thousand pounds, it will not be refunded if any rules or regulations are broken.

You will send in health screenings every two months, proof of birth control (if female), and a background check.

You may not belong to any other clubs during the time of your membership at The Body Factory.

YN was quite shocked that Arthur had dished out that amount of money on the deposit for something that they weren’t sure that they were going to like nor want to continue to visit even though the membership spans for a year at a time.

“If we go, hate it, and decide to never go back, just consider it a really expensive date night,” Arthur had assured her with a chuckle, she knew of his wealth but even this seemed a bit like frivolous spending but little did she know it was just his desperation to make her happy.

++

The club was in the packing district of all places, tucked back in between massive factories, some that were still open and operating, others that had been abandoned for years now.

It was actually in an old clothing factory that had been renovated to resemble any other high-end club, from the inside there would be no way that anyone could even tell except for the incredibly high ceilings at some points.

However, the location in the city and of building choice gave a lot of privacy of entering and exiting, it wasn’t advertised nor did it have any sign indicating of their presence.

It was a maze of alleyways until the entrance appeared, a dingy door that was rusted and gave no indication of what was inside, someone walking past would have never looked twice or thought anything of the building nor the entrance.

Everything was matte black, dark, and dimmed.

There were occasional deep emerald green accents but everything was sleek, modern, and simple but in the most elegant way as they walked in.

YN’s heart was in her throat.

Where people going to be fucking right when they walk in?

Or people being led around on leashes right off the bat?

Arthur may pass out.

However, there’s a front desk, almost like at an office with a woman dressed in a incredibly fitted sleek black dress with smooth, curled hair, and makeup like it was done by a professional, she had to be a model because she was gorgeous as she smiled widely and checked them in.

They had to show their licenses, hand over physical copies of their screenings, NDA’s even though they had to sign them virtually too.

There were two security guards in black suits with earpieces standing by large, heavy dark oak doors with their hands crossed in front of them.

This seemed like a movie or just not real with how sophisticated this whole process was.

“Enjoy,” Penelope, the receptionist had chirped with the whitest, most perfect smile she’d ever seen.

Arthur seemed a bit awestruck for a moment and YN couldn’t even fault him for it.

The two guards move aside to open the doors, nodding for them to go in before closing them firmly behind them.

YN finds herself reaching for Arthur’s hand, nervous and shaky with new experience anxiety and adrenaline that she was finally getting back into what she wanted even more so.

There were people mingling, sipping on drinks, and all fully clothed.

It wasn’t until Arthur informed her, “Play starts at ten, the first hour is to introduce, mingle, meet.”

Ah, that makes sense.

It almost builds the tension, YN feels like she can taste it on the tip of her tongue.

They walk over to the bar, another beautiful women greets them right away, laying a napkin down in front of both of them, “Newbies?”

“Yes,” Arthur nods, pointing to himself first, “I’m Arthur, this is YN, my fiance.”

The bartender quirks an eyebrow as she not-so-subtly scans them, “Nice to meet you two. I’m Raven. I bartend Friday through Sunday here. What are you drinking?”

“A moscow mule,” YN asks, maybe some alcohol will loosen her nerves.

“It’s a dry club, babe,” Raven smiles patiently as her long fingernails click against the smooth surface.

“Oh,” YN replies in surprise, looking behind her at the shelves only to see syrups for flavoring but no actual liquor bottles or draft taps to be seen, “A sprite?”

“Water, please,” Arthur adds as he rubs YN’s thigh, squeezing it in reassurance, “I forgot to tell you. No alcohol here. Everybody needs to be sober when playing.”

“That makes sense,” YN hums in agreement, never having actually thought about it much, but it could definitely get cloudy on consent when alcohol was being consumed in regards to playing which was a dangerous and unsafe mixture.

They sit, observed for a few minutes before a few people begin to flock towards them, greeting them and asking surface level questions until there’s a deep, almost eerie chime that echoes for a long moment through the club over the soft jazz.

It was signifying that the clock had struck ten.

Everyone quickly wraps up their conversations before moving to different areas of the rooms, some disappearing down hallways.

The atmosphere had changed significantly in a very quick spurt of time as people started undressing, kissing, moving as if they’d just gotten permission.

There was a couple of the couch across the room that Athur and YN were observing from their barstools.

The two started out slow, sensual, like any normal couple behind close doors but when the woman knots her hair into her partner’s hair and demands his mouth move lower, he obliges and Arthur gasps softly at the roughness displayed.

YN’s been aroused for the last five minutes of watching them but doesn’t make an effort to act on it, not yet atleast, and once the couple move so that the man is laying on the couch, the woman kneeling over his face, it changes her vantage point but it catches on something else.

In the corner, further back into the room, there was a man sitting in the corner where there was barely any lighting, dim and his goal was to obviously stay in the background.

No one was approaching him nor was he interacting with anyone else.

YN knew there was a no phone policy but this man was sat, scrolling boredly through his phone and only occasionally glancing up to observe the people in action around him before eyes dart back down like it wasn’t entertaining at all.

He wasn’t aroused, at least from what YN could see, and he was in a tight, well-fitted suit but his dress shirt was barely buttoned, open enough to show the definition of his pectoral muscles, the sharpness of his collarbones, and a variety of darkly inked tattoos.

He was fucking beautiful.

YN realizes she oogling him but can get away with it because it appears to Arthur that she’s still watching the couple like he is.

However, when the man looks up after a few moments once again, his eyes are instantly locked on YN.

She can’t tell what color they are from here but she knows they’re light, twinkling under the barely there light of a sconce on the wall and it’s smouldering as he doesn’t blink nor waver with embarrassment of being caught staring at her.

YN quickly diverted her eyes back to the couple, her heart was pounding, and a sense of thrill shot up her spine even though it was inappropriate.

She wasn’t here for new partners.

She was here to learn and explore with her own.

YN tries to play it casual when Raven refills the drink she nervously chugged, “Why does that guy have his phone?”

Raven’s eyes darted to the man before grinning, “That’s Harry. He’s the owner, my boss. He supervises the free play.”

“Free play?”

“Out in the common area, it’s considered free play. If you claim a room, you are in private play with whatever partners you bring back there. Harry just makes sure everything stays safe and consensual out here. He gets bored though and plays Candy Crush on his phone.”

YN cracks her own smile at that, trying to imagine the man trying to get rid of sugary sweets and getting frustrated when he loses a round.

“Does he not play?” Arthur asks curiously, now his attention has changed to Harry as well.

“Not often,” Raven informs them, leaning her elbow on the counter, “I can’t remember the last time he did. I’d say at least seven years ago, at least in the free play but he doesn’t reserve rooms or anything. He made it clear that he doesn’t find at least any of the current members interesting enough to engage with.”

“That’s interesting, considering he must have an interest in it, if this is his club,” Arthur replies to Raven before turning back to the scene of the couple, another member had joined the couple and was currently giving the male some startling rough looking bruised kisses and bites to his stomach and thighs.

Arthur was getting aroused by the look and feel of it, he reached over and brazenly took her hand, and led her to his groin where he was hard in his trousers, encouraging her to palm over him which she did as she tried to get into it.

This…This atmosphere, these people, they excited her.

Arthur still did not.

They manage to get to a couch, Arthur appears to be getting so turned on that foreplay isn’t in his realm of ideas because he’s hiking up YN’s dress around her hips and positioning her on top of him which is a new position (in all six years they’ve never done cowgirl) but still, her arousal is barely boiling above surface level.

YN licks her palm, reaching down to help moisten herself because Arthur was not doing anything to spark her to get wet.

It was actually making her more distressed that despite the scenario, she still didn’t feel the connection to her fiancé.

When she slides down, it’s fine, he was an average size so even without much lubrication, it didn’t feel like a stretch or burn when she started to move her hips but it wasn’t as pleasant as if she was sopping, dripping down her thighs.

Arthur glances to the side at one point, noticing that the male from the throuple was now pounding into the original partner with his had tight around her throat, pushing her further into the couch without mercy as she tried to whine through stutter breaths.

YN felt like she was being watched the entire time, which of course she was being watched by other members but it felt different, when she blinks around and notices that Harry has his gaze honed in on her with a twisted scowl of almost disapproval, it confuses her.

However, she’s brought back into the moment when Arthur pants out, “Can- I want to try that.”

When YN follows his gaze, he’s referring to the choking, and yeah, maybe that will light that match.

“Okay, yeah,” YN agrees as she brushes her hair off of her shoulders, wishing he would have taken this dress off of her instead of shoving it upwards where it felt confining.

Arthur smiles at her, leaning up to give her a chaste kiss which didn’t match their situation whatsoever that they were in at the moment.

YN was feeling anxious about the judgment other members might put onto them but not because she cared that people watched but because she knew Arthur and her were nowhere nearly as fluid, practiced, or elegant as the other members whom seemed to just melt into one another easily.

Arthur had never tried it before but his hand came up to her throat, he’s getting close to his own release which means that he’s not as focused, eyes getting a glazed over appearance.

YN soon realizes that he has no idea what he’s doing as he begins to cut off her airway by cupping her throat in the center instead of at the sides.

It hurts, she can’t breathe but not the way that feels tingly, excited, it feels like he could quite possibly suffocate her because of his carelessness.

They had talked about proper methods and he clearly hadn’t retained that information.

A few black dots begin to dance across her line of vision and her body starts to trigger a flight or fight response which she wants to use her safe word but she can’t speak.

YN takes to dig her nails into his hand but he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not out of lust.

A true fear begins to take hold that something horrible will happen to her in less than a minute.

He’s truly going to injure her.

YN is in a full-fledged panic induced state.

Then suddenly, without warning, a strong arm is being wrapped around her middle and a big, ring-clad hand grips Arthur where it was around her neck so hard he yelps in pain and releases his grip.

The person is physically lifting YN off of Arthur’s lap, trying to steady her on her feet but they feel like jello and she feels light-headed, the room wouldn’t stop spinning.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” The person’s voice is deep, raspy, and incredibly pissed off, “What the fuck is your problem?”

YN can’t even bring herself to look at Arthur right now, her full support into Harry’s side as she notices the two securities guards walking in.

“C’mon, let me sit you down. You’re okay but I want to check you out, alright? Yeah, c’mon, pet,” He encourages in a much softer tone, gentle and trying to comfort me as she struggles to catch her breath.

It takes a long second to realize that she’s crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, and fuck, she is so embarassed as every other member had stopped playing.

“We’re done for the night. We’ll re-open tomorrow at the normal hours of operation,” Harry announces to the room at large before looking to Raven, “Go close down the private rooms.”

Raven nods, no longer as smiley and bubbling but an expression of concern as she watches what’s going on with YN.

“Hey, darling. Can you tilt your head up?” Harry asks quietly once he sits her down in the same corner that he had been in, away from the group.

YN whines because her neck is aching, she doesn’t want to do anything as the drop in adrenaline has made her more exhausted than she’s felt in a long time.

“I know, I know,” Harry simpers in an unpredictably cooing tone, he taps his thumb on her chin to signal her to tilt it up and she obliges.

Harry prods gently at her neck, focusing on the center where the pressure has been, “Any sharp pains? Anything feel off or wrong like you need to go to the hospital?”

YN shakes her head, a fresh round of tears.

She knew that she wasn’t injured or seriously hurt.

YN felt more traumatized mentally than anything else.

“I need words, want to hear your pretty voice,” Harry orders in a honey sweet tone, eyes hyper-focused on her like they were in the beginning of the night.

His eyes were green.

Close to the accent color of the club.

“I’m okay,” YN manages to speak out, throat dry and scratchy.

Raven appears with a glass of water to hand to Harry before giving them their space again.

YN is about to reach for the glass but Harry is already moving it towards her lips for her, “Drink f’me.”

It’s strangely intimate as he tilts the glass, eyes watching her carefully and a sense of guilt sets in that she likes that Harry is tending to her, giving her his full attention.

“Is this a common occurrence? Between you two?”Harry doesn’t sound as kind anymore, his jaw muscle twitches slightly.

“Um, no. We came here to explore. I’m very much into this world and he isn’t. He’s told me he’s done his research in his free time but -“

“You’re telling me that you’ve never negotiated nor tried something like this and he full fledge tries choking?” Harry interrupts, outraged from where he stands up from squatting in front of her, “Did you ask or plan for that?”

YN shakes her head, a bit embarrassed that she was coming off as an amateur to someone…she felt an attraction to, felt intimidated by, and Arthur had ruined their experience here.

“No. We tried spanking a few times but he backed out. We were just supposed to come here to watch others so he could visual what all this looked like before putting it into action-“

Harry doesn’t let her finish as he storms away from her, his glare set right on Arthur who was sheepishly sitting back at the bar and nursing a drink as Raven talked to him.

YN’s heart rate starts to rise again when Arthur tenses, clearly being chewed out by Harry before her fiancé gets off his barstool and follows the club owners lead down the hallway.

YN rushes to the bar, Raven is already pouring her another sprite, “Calm down. He’s not going to hurt him or anything. They just need to have a discussion on whether or not Harry will revoke his membership.”

It feels ruined and it never even started.

All she can think about is that despite for a short amount of time she was getting what she asked from Arthur, there was still no god damn spark.

After a good half hour, the bar phone rings and Raven answers, murmuring a few words back into the receiver before having up.

“I’m going to take you back to his office now.”

++

Harry’s office was just as luxe, elegant as the rest of the club.

It was tense as soon as she stepped in the room and Raven left, closing the door behind her.

“I’ve decided not to revoke your joint membership after discussion with Arthur. However, there are contingencies if you would like to continue coming here. Are you willing to hear them? Arthur has already agreed to the terms.”

YN nods slowly, voice soft, “Yes.”

Harry keeps his face on her as he speaks, “I do not tolerate what happened here tonight in my club. Arthur has clearly proven that he isn’t educated enough to be able to have free access to the club and free play.”

“If you want to continue membership, Arthur will need to reserve a private room and lessons will be held until he fully grasps the concepts, displays understanding, and can play safely without supervision.”

“Who…Do you have instructors?” YN doesn’t think she wants another man involved in their sex life even in an educational aspect.

“Yes but I will be teaching the lessons,” Harry informs her, calm as ever, “I bring this up because I would need to be hands on, to demonstrate and display certain practice, power play dynamics but that is a lot to ask as I do not know your limits on sharing.”

YN’s speaking before she even realizes it, “Yes. We can do that.”

Harry’s lip quirks slightly before it disappears but it oddly enough seems like a reward.

“We can schedule. I will send the paperwork. I already have your questionnaires about hard limits, likes, dislikes, and willing to try. I want to make this clear, this will be purely educational and there will be no dynamic developing between me and you two.”

YN nods dumbly, at a loss for words because the mere thought of Harry domming her was a lick of a flame that she’d been missing so much.

“I will dom you with instructions interwoven for Arthur. We will try to keep everything minimal as I cannot stress enough that this is not anything but informative on my end to help improve your sex life as a couple.”

++

Three longs weeks pass before their first ‘lesson’.

Arthur voiced excitement about the instruction, never brought up the choking incident again, and never initiated any type of sex during this time either.

Everything was swept under the rug as usual in their relationship.

YN would never admit the fact that she had gotten herself off to the mere idea of Harry domming her because something about him had triggered something carnal, something near feral in her.

It’s more than she had even felt with Klein.

She knew it wouldn’t last forever but she was going to enjoy this to the best of her abilities.

++

YN only had excited nerves going into the night.

Harry had inquired more in the break of time about YN’s experience and was extremely pleased to realize that she wasn’t as much of a novice as he assumed.

Though she hadn’t experienced many partners or relationships within the community, her knowledge was expansive and deep enough to impress him.

Harry had texted her back with a simple message that had her core tingling enough that she had to rub her thighs together.

YN: Thank you for continuously checking in on my comfort and experience regarding these situations. I have many more concerns for Arthur as we’ve already discussed. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

Harry Styles: I do not plan to go easy on you. Unless you specifically want soft play for these experiences. I can be a softer dominant but my main modality is firm, mean, regimented with softer aftercare.

YN: You don’t scare me. ;)

She was already being bratty with him.

It sent a wave of good nerves through her as she waited for a reply to be sent to her inbox.

Harry Styles: It’s interesting that you’ve already started to decide to be bad for me when you don’t even know what I’m capable of, darling.

YN : I’m shaking.

YN: Terrified.

Harry Styles: I wish I could wrap my fingers around your throat right now. Show your fiancé the proper way to choke a god damn brat.

YN could feel herself pooling with arousal.

It felt a bit wrong but she reasoned enough with herself that it was all for the greater good of her relationship with Arthur but deep down she knew that was bullshit.

YN: You’re probably not much better.

Harry Styles: Quite honestly, haven’t worked with such a fucking disobedient bitch in a long time. I cannot wait to break you. A kitten who thinks they’re a big bad tiger.

YN: Fuck you.

Harry Styles: Kitty’s got claws.

Harry Styles: For now…

It felt bordering on inappropriate but YN reasoned again that Harry had made it clear that there isn’t anything happening, it is a strictly professional as a type of situation like this can be.

++

Saturday has come and YN wakes up to a text.

Harry Styles: Better wear something cute enough that I find you interesting enough to play with. Even if it’s just to teach.

YN rereads the message quite a few times and why is he so good at getting under her skin and she doesn’t even know him yet but it’s like he knows exactly how to wind her up.

YN: Black dress with tights.

Harry Styles: It’s good to know that you’re just another basic bitch.

YN: What will you be wearing then?

Harry Styles: That’s none of your fucking business. I call the shots, kitty. Not you.

YN: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Harry Styles: Good to know. Five spanks for the five emojis. Would you like to keep going?

She can’t even help herself

YN: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Harry Styles: Noted.

YN wants to reply, knowing he’s probably waiting but a tiny sliver of guilt starts to creep in when she thinks about Arthur because though she’s trying to convince herself this is perfectly fine.

It’s not.

Not with the emotions it makes her feel.

She hasn’t felt them in so long.

It scares her.

“Sweetie pie, are you having second thoughts? Should be getting ready,” Arthur steps out of the walk-in closet, adjusting the sleeve of his button up.

“No!” YN replies much too quickly, her tone high pitch, “Um, I lost track of time. I’ll get ready now.”

“Okay, I’m excited for this new experience with you,” He smiles sweetly, stepping over to press a kiss to her forehead.

It’s affectionate, loving, and she’s still thinking of other things than her fiancé.

++

YN decides on a black wide leg trouser with a corseted bodysuit that gave her tits the perfect push-up, she’s spray a very thin most of body glitter on her chest, she knew it would sparkle in the dim lighting.

She considered wearing the dress and tights to spite him but whatever, she’d be less easy access for him.

++

Arthur held her hand tightly as they entered The Body Factory.

YN was already searching for Harry, barely waving to Raven as Arthur leads them over but she doesn’t want a drink, she wants to play.

However her fiancé guide her to a stool, ordering for both of them as Raven has a look of curiosity as she slides them in front of him.

“Does he come out and get us?” Arthur asks Raven, looking around he doesn’t see him either.

Raven bites her lip, shaking her head with a chuckle, “No, I take you to your reserved room when ten hits.”

“What is it?” YN asks, unable to read what is going on the bartender's mind.

This conversation didn’t seem particularly funny.

“Nothing really. Harry just hasn’t offered private lessons for at least eight or nine years. Normally when couples have an incident like you did, Harry revoked their memberships without a second thought,” Raven informs them as she picks at a spot on the smooth surface of the bar absentmindedly.

“Why us?” YN wonders out loud, why after all that time did he make an exception.

“I wish I knew,” The bartender shrugs neutrally.

++

The deep chime rings out about forty-five minutes later.

YN cannot decipher whether she wants to throw up or jump up and down with excitement.

Especially when Raven guides them down a long hallway, then into another corridor until they reach a door with a sign that warns, “No members past this point. Private access only.”

“Um-“ Arthur goes to point out the sign, he was a rule follower to his core.

“It’s Harry’s private playroom that members can’t use but again, this is special circumstances,” Raven’s voice is hushed as she leads them into a surprisingly minimal room.

There were cabinets built sleekly into the walls where all toys and accessories must be held, a matte black.

Everything matched but there was a bigger prominence of the green accents that were more subtle in the main areas.

The play bench hardware matches everything else but the cushion is a luxe emerald.

The bed was…unlike anything she had ever seen.

It was massive but fit well in the spacious room.

High posts on all four corners with subtle hooks to place restraints in.

The mattress looked fluffy and giving, it looked as if the sheets were a black silk but the duvet was a very muted pattern of black and green diamonds.

YN was in love with space.

It was so much more than she was expecting.

“Holy shit,” Arthur gapes at the elegance, clearly he had been expecting something different too.

“Okay, when Harry comes in, he will already be in the dom headspace and so he wants me to give you reminders. Harry will respect your hard limits as he’s reviewed them before the session. You have received a list of his so please do the same.”

“Just as you can safeword out at any time without consequences, Harry can as well. He will use the same ‘red’ if need be and will check your colors throughout to ensure safe play.”

“For this first lesson, Arthur you will sit and observe. Harry will display a safe, typical scene of play to understand what that looks like with whatever kind of submissive YN is. You may also use your safeword at any time to stop the play.”

YN swallows because would he allow that?

Surprisingly, Arthur’s face is still clear and happy as he starts to walk over to an overstuffed chair in the corner of the room and smiles at YN, “Can’t wait.”

YN raises a shocked eyebrow at his willingness but nods at Raven to show she understands.

++

They’re silent as they wait for Harry.

She wasn’t given instruction and because she was a bit nervous, she perched herself on Arthur’s lap as he rubbed her thigh and kissed her shoulder blades occasionally.

Then there’s a shuffle outside the door, the door knob twisting and the door opening.

Harry looked ethereal.

He wasn’t wearing a tailored suit like before but leather boots with a bit of a heel, form-fitting jeans that make his lean quads look biteable, and a plain black shirt.

His arms had even more beautiful ink than YN realized.

After Harry closes the door, his eyes lock on hers, not even acknowledging her fiancé’s presence.

“Stand up,” Harry orders loudly, a bit startling.

YN obeys instantly, her heart was pounding in her eardrums like waves of the choppy ocean.

A cruel smirk tilts on his lips when he scans her up and down.

“Did I strike a nerve, pet? This isn’t a black dress and tights. Are you already starting off so insecure? And you think you can handle me. What a cute, pathetic little kitten,” His voice is venomous, steady, and she’s clinging onto every word.

Arthur’s clearly confused but stays silent.

“I’m not pathetic,” YN argues shakily, it felt dangerous to get bratty so soon but it was her submissive profile and character, it came naturally.

Harry quirks a brow, “Sir.”

YN gives him her own confused look.

“I’m not pathetic, sir. Every time you speak, try again.”

“I’m not pathetic,” YN bleats easily, a flutter of her eyelashes.

Harry smiles like a goddamn wolf.

“Oh, you’re not? Let’s test that theory,” Harry draws as he takes a few steps backwards, towards the door, “Come to me.”

YN stands up, on wobbly legs, and begins to but is stopped in her tracks by his hard voice.

“Hands and knees. Crawl for me, I want to show your fiancé how pathetic you are for me,” Harry has a humor, an evil sense of it.

YN drops to her hands and knees, nearly panting already, and begins to move.

++

summary of triggering scene: YN’s fiance chokes her and though it’s completely consensual he doesn’t know what he’s doing and almost hurts her. YN cannot safeword out at the time but harry stops the scene.

[shiongenkai]

Thoughts on Jin?

Jin is... interesting. Which is to say, I don't often think about him, but when I do, I really . Really want to squeeze him like a grape.

The nature of Eset opinion posts is that they get so fucking long I feel bad if I don't put them under a readmore. This is. No different. Oops

First of all, I think his dynamics with the other characters on both an in-universe level and a meta textual level are fascinating. I think the most obvious connection is probably with Alan (given the whole... everything with Frost vs Vaga), but I think the most interesting one is comparing him with Taiga.

Taiga and Jin are incredibly similar. Frostheim and Sinostra are essentially the true opposites in every conceivable way, yet they still retain important similarities that keep them in constant conflict. Both captains were incredibly capable until Something happened, both have vices that have a two-faced tendency, both are incredibly nihilistic on a personal level (while still being Involved)... both are attached to the MC, both have connections to Darkwick on a deeper scale than other ghouls...

Jin is in an incredibly weird spot in what his character does in relation to others. Internally, to my mind, he's in the same category as Taiga and Ed, which is a very strange group to be in. But it's because these three all have the same philosophy and general Character and express it differently.

In his prologue lines, Jin calls it a fixed match, and says he was a figurehead. Tohma calls him delicate, others call him cold, reclusive, etc. Jin seems to be able to Acknowledge his personal philosophy ('There is no changing this') but not Accept it. He Acknowledges that he has no real power over anything at the moment, but rather than letting that ideology lead him to a more 'So fuck it I'll do what I want bc we'll all die anyway' attitude (as it does w Taiga) or a 'But neither does anyone else, so I'll use my power as I please / enjoy myself' one (as it does with Ed), it leads him to this like. Despair state, almost.

'I have no real power, and never did, so what's the point in doing anything at all?'

But he can't accept that, because he is incredibly driven and motivated. He needs to succeed. He needs to Prove himself, in a sense, especially due to the pressures of being Kamurai's son, and so he Can't Accept that he Can't Do Anything. I think this is part of why Jin's stigma isn't working without MC right now. I don't think MC unlocks some special thing inside him, but I think he BELIEVES she does. I think he BELIEVES she's able to help him, and so he's able to use it again. Because he believes that she, in some way, is giving him the ability to Be In Control. Because that's what his stigma is. It's control.

And like, it's fascinating! Because Control dominates so much of his character. Control over Frostheim, control over his circumstances, control over others, control over himself. Lack of control. Lack of freedom. Oppression, tyranny, any other goddamn synonym out there.

At every turn, Jin's character focuses on these things. He's a king, but does he really have any control over his own dorm? Over what happens to them? He did his damn best in his Freshman year and got the Laurel Crown, and then what? The Clash happened. And he lost Yuri, either before or immediately after. He gained Tohma, yes, but what else did he lose? What else changed for him during that? His stigma, notably. His world spiralled out of control, and his ability to use his stigma was lost.

And so he gives up. He accepts that he can't control anything, so why try? But he really, really can't fully accept it, because all he can trust is himself. So he still. Tries. Tries to control Something. Tries to solve cases with the influence he has. The control he has. And he tries to control Tohma, because Tohma swore loyalty and should be easy to control, but he's not, and that's something that drives Jin, which we see with the mirror anomaly. It shows him two things; himself, in Frostheim garb, the King (total control; domineering), and when he calls that Pathetic, it shows him Tohma and Alan.

MC says the mirror showed the anxieties she's been keeping locked down. I firmly believe this is true for Jin too. I firmly believe he fears both sides; total loss of control and total tyranny.

And. GOD!!! I know this has been so rambling and Literally So Nothingburger and I'm sorry for that, but it's just really, really neat to look at him totally removed from how he treats MC, though I do find that dynamic interesting as well. I think he's interesting outside of Tohma, even!

I think. It's not a stretch to say that Jin's Frostheim parallel is Kaito. Which is to say, if you were to pick who Kaito resembles the most between Tohma and Jin, I think the better comparison is Jin. Which adds a lot of new fascinating layers of thought in that Kaito's confidence is lacking while his ability is pretty damn capable, or in how Kaito's attitude is honestly probably closer to Jin's internal monologue than Lucas' ever is, or how Kaito was closest to his grandmother who has already passed (while Lucas is closer to his father, who is seemingly still alive)... It's just. Fun. It's fun to look at.

I think I should probably end this here bc I have yapped way too long, but even this doesn't scratch the barest bittiest little Surface of Jin's character. I truly wish I knew More, or at least had more interesting thoughts on him, and I would LOOOOVE to read better analysis from Jin fans or others who think abt him a lot. Ough. Jin Kamurai I need to microwave you.

[taleeater]

It’s the Little Things

Hope you enjoy my gushy short little fic :]

(I posted this once before but I was too embarrassed so I took it down. Putting it back now 😂)

Generation: Bayverse TMNT

TMNT Raphael x Reader Fanfic

Pronouns: Gender Neutral

Warnings: RIDICULOUSLY mushy, self-serving fluff, kissed while asleep

The rain quietly pattered against the dark window panes as the light from the TV flashed in the glass’s reflection. It was the end of a very long patrol, and Raph had made it back to your apartment quite late. As usual.

But as usual, you were up waiting for him with a hot dinner lovingly prepared.

Your daily lives were vastly different from each other. You ran a quiet bookstore in a reclusive area downtown, while Raph was one of the city’s fierce vigilante heroes alongside his brothers. You were definitely an odd couple. But you had your moments.

Moments like these- Raph thought gratefully as he swallowed another bite of your steaming homemade stew, piled onto a thick slice of buttered sourdough bread. He closed his eyes as he savored the rich flavor, saturated in red wine and melty slow-cooked beef, and had to stifle himself from moaning around the food in his mouth. Somehow you always managed to make the most delicious food, the kind that could warm and comfort tired and aching bones after a long day.

Speaking of you.

:readmore:

Raphael glanced across the small wooden dinner table in their comfy little apartment, and found you sitting with your chin propped up on your crossed hands, with a glowing joyful expression on your face as you happily watched him enjoying the meal you’d made.

- and Raph immediately turned his head away, already beginning to feel his cheeks burning under his mask.

“…..It’s good.” He said gruffly, not daring to chance another glance across the table as he practically felt your joy intensify from his praise.

“ I’m glad~” It was a humble, yet cheerful response. Yet, somehow it left something fluttering in the large turtle’s chest. His face scrunched up tensely as he tried to will away the building heat in his cheeks, and resorted to hiding his face in the bowl of the heavenly stew.

…..Raphael was quite certain you would someday be the death of him.

Later that night, after you two had had your fill of dinner and the pot and bowls were soaking in the sink, you curled up together on your old couch in front of the TV. Raph was watching the evening news, followed by a mobster period drama he found he secretly enjoyed. While you had made home with a blanket and a book curled up in the grumpy turtle’s lap.

Raphael was lazily watching the TV and gratefully melting into the couch, letting his head tip back and stretch out the sore muscles in his neck. He barely noticed the pressure of you snuggled up warmly on his lap, already so accustomed to the feeling that at this point it would be more strange without it. When suddenly, he heard a clatter and flop from what sounded like your book sliding to the floor. He looked back up, expecting you to clamor up to retrieve it, but found you made no movement.

“……..?...” Raph looked down to check on you, and was met with the adorable sight of your peaceful sleeping face. Your head resting comfortably against his chest as you breathed slowly and deeply. A hand curled up under your chin while he other was pressed flat against his chest.

Raphael immediately felt his whole face heat up deeply at the sight, having to turn his head away and place a hand over his mouth for a moment to insure he wouldn’t explode from the sudden swell of feelings building up in his chest. He tried taking a deep breath to calm himself down. ‘What am I, a teenage girl….?’ He chastised himself as he calmed down enough to look back to you.

‘……Are they really asleep?’ He wondered. Raph studied your face, checking for signs of movement behind your eyes, but became caught up admiring the long strokes of your eyelashes against your cheek. It was just a small detail, but somehow, it sparked a warm feeling in him.

Raph found himself staring quietly at you as you dozed, and he became captured by your features as he gazed at you so closely. Your little nose, your soft complexion, playfully messy licks of your hair, the soft line of your jaw…. The corners of Raph’s mouth began to pull up in a kind smile as he gazed at you. Quietly, he drew up his hand to comb some stray hairs into place, and trailed down to gently stroke across your cheek, until the pad of his thumb came to brush softly across your lips.

Raphael was completely enthralled, and lost himself in his delicate ministrations. Before he even realized it, he found himself leaning in closely, until his lips connected lightly with yours. It was a delicate, revering, chaste kiss, one he would never have the courage to initiate around your waking self. But right now, not even the adoring (and embarrassing) gaze of his lover was present to shy him away from his enamor.

You stirred at the ticklish sensation, brows drawing together and making a soft cute sound as you sighed into the kiss, drawn awake by your boyfriend’s soft touches.

Raphael froze still upon hearing the small sleepy noise come from you. His heart fluttered nervously in his chest, afraid he had been caught in his intimate moment. Slowly, he pulled away from your lips and looked down at your face. Raph was met with the sight of lidded eyes staring up at him, with a faint blush and sleepy smile gracing your face.

Raph was indeed caught. But before he could fully process his quickly rising embarrassment, you quickly shut your eyes and feigned sleep once again.

“........???????” He was very confused now. That was definitely not the reaction he was expecting.

“......(y/n).....?” Raph called out to check on you, not exactly sure what to do in this turn of events after being caught sweetly kissing his sleeping lover. But you just kept your eyes closed, a very loving smile still painting your face.

“Mmh...... no..... I’m still asleep....... keep kissing me......~” You whispered sleepily from your spot nestled in the crook of his arms.

Raph was stunned. It felt as if an arrow had pierced his heart and warmed his whole body from head to toe. Your smile only grew wider from feeling him go tense, and your hand slowly reached up to stroke against Raph’s rough cheek, tempting him to draw back in until your lips met once again.“Mmh~” You made a happy sound that hummed ticklishly against Raph’s lips, breaking him out of his surprise and enticing him to return the kiss.

It was soft, slow, and wet, how your lips moved against each other in your own quiet revere under the comfortable cover of night. You both drew away for breath, only to gravitate in to meet again and again to taste each other. Raph became emboldened as your hand lazily trailed up to push up his mask, and he leaned down to start peppering kisses across your face. Smooching your nose, your eyelids, the dips of your cheeks, your brows, forehead, and the corners of your mouth. He smooched his lover softly until you were left giggling softly in his arms. He paused to listen to the adorable sound, more bright and peaceful than any church bells, before he went back to praise and worship those velvety lips once again.

You kissed back more slowly than before, your passion still there but your energy seemed to be waning. Your hand slid from Raph’s cheek and came to rest on his chest, and you felt your mind grow fuzzy from the gentle brushes of his lips. Soon, you felt yourself melt completely back into Raph’s warm embrace, as your sleepiness overcame you once again at the parting of one more kiss.

Raphael paused for only a moment to catch his breath between loving smooches, before he moved to return once again. He softly brushed his lips against yours in quiet invitation, but surprisingly, he found that you did not return his kiss. Instead, he felt the slow gentle draws of breath against his lips. You had fallen fast asleep with your head nestled against his shoulder, lulled to rest by his sweet kisses.

Raphael paused as your breaths tangled in the small space between your lips. All he could do was stare into the peaceful resting expression of his lover wrapped warmly in his embrace. His gaze didn’t leave your lips, swollen red from his attention. The soft breath of sleep tickling against his own sensitive lips. The large turtle felt a smile tugging at his mouth at the sight of his normally energetic partner so easily put to sleep in his arms. He wondered briefly if he could ever endure this level of affection from you at your usual energy, and came to the conclusion that he would most likely combust after only a few seconds.

Raph eventually came back to his senses. His cheeks heating into a bright red glow of self-consciousness as recognition dawned of his own actions.

“...........shit.”

Raphael closed his eyes tightly shut as he tried to shut out the feeling of steam rising from his head. He ducked his head, burying his heated face into your hair as he tried to suppress the building need to implode from embarrassment. He silently muttered excuses but quickly gave in to the strong feelings clenching in his chest.

He was helplessly in love with you.

(He was still denying it.)

“...........What are you doing to me shorty...” He quietly mumbled, resentfully, yet, adoringly into your hair.

(But of course, that won’t stop him from trying to suffocate these embarrassing feelings. He had a reputation to uphold after all.)

But it was times like these, under the privacy of a silent night, with sweet words and gentle touches, that Raphael gave in.

It’s the little things.

And he carried you off to bed.

The End

[zeravmeta]

Hundred Line DLC Route Concepts

So since hundred line might get some dlc and kodaka wants to hear concepts im gonna put this out in the wild and hope the psychic forces of the universe beam it into his head

note im not 100% on HL yet so maybe some of these ideas were done/are fulfilled in other ways BUT this is my post and while I DO think some routes can get expanded on, im sticking strictly to actual new concepts even in expanded routes, if I want to expand on a previous route id want it tacked on post the supposed ending where a last minute choice could branch off the end

spoilers obvs btw and also long so readmore for spoilers and length

Preamble: BIGGEST AND EASIEST WAY to make a lot of these routes possible as DLC is to allow Eito to kill Sirei on Day 2 and work from there, but they can easily be added at other junctures. With that out of the way,

Concept 1: Last Defense Academy 3rd Run / Inherited Will -> Nozomi as the time looper coming back

I think the title is pretty self explanatory BUT I could see it going in two ways: Takumi after his death in Second Scenario manages to rewind himself back to Day 1 and, using the knowledge of the truth and greater context that Truth/Second Scenario provided, does one more go around for the 100 days to stop Humanity's invasion of Futurum and try to save everyone. Alternatively, you can have Nozomi as the protagonist for this 3rd run, having inadvertently absorbed Takumi's cryptoglobin following the end of Second Scenario and she rewinds, letting us play through this third run with her as the protagonist where she tries to save Takumi in turn and, with a newfound contempt for humanity, can choose whether to strive for coexistence or to sabotage humanity's efforts for using her friends as living weapons.

Concept 2: Bad End Takumi Invasions

So Hundred Line definitely has what I call the Three Houses problem, wherein a character who has time travel powers they can use pretty freely to fix the immediate problems in front of them STILL does not use them because the story demands they not have the reset button on hand, BUT i think this could be used in an interesting way: Have alternate Takumi's from bad end routes use their powers to invade the Academy to try and take our Takumi's better circumstances for themselves. For example, you could have a Retsnom end Takumi try to kidnap our non-Retsnommed Darumi under the logic of "You don't love or appreciate her like I do, so I'll take her off your hands. You don't care anyways so this isn't an issue.", or maybe a Cult Takumi obsess over our Takumi being another extension of his will and try to absorb him because he needs to fulfill his role as the ultimate fix-it tool, or perhaps a Failed Rebellion Route Takumi trying to find a new Futurum after he accidentally ruined his own, you could take this in a whole ton of ways and it could even be as simple as different Takumi's who died early trying to live and absorb and take our Takumi's place.

Concept 3: Expanded V'ehxness & Eva Routes

I think this one is also pretty self explanatory, as while the despair sisters commander siblings have some of the best routes, they're also pretty short, written out as really good endings but with little substance in the middle.

Eva routes can be expanded just from letting Eito kill Sirei: She doesn't get brainwashed, and because Sirei isn't there to shock Takumi and the SDU every waking minute, Eva and the SDU engage in more dialogue where perhaps she has the SDU join the Futuran rebellion against V'ehxness earlier on because now with Sirei no longer manipulating info, they talk for a literal 5 minutes and realize the truth about the war far earlier. Takumi when he was actively shunned in the class managed to befriend her in 10 days this one is so easy.

V'ehxness route can also be expanded upon easier, maybe there can even be an offshoot following Ending 44 where V'ehxness, now having someone she actually loves and wants to survive FOR as opposed to being an eternal unthinking god symbol, manages to escape with Takumi and narrowly survive their fatal wounds. From here it could go a few ways: Maybe they become vagabonds fighting all sides and relying on each other to survive, maybe the commanders and SDU slaughter each other and the satellite humans invade, leading V'ehxness to tenuously team up with Kahmyun and you fight against humanity's invading army as an unlikely allies rebellion where it's an awful tenuous peace but Kahmyun recognizes that V'ehxness is needed for her power and at least this time she actually has a person she cares about other than herself so she can be directed using Takumi.

Honestly I think V'ehxness and Eva should have more interactions in general, maybe even the Unlikely Allies Rebellion route has Eva as the only surviving commander from the massacre and V'ehxness and Eva are forced to actually talk like equals, and we get more backstory from both perspectives.

IDK something something pull both sisters? that'd be kinda funny. Moko spontaneously materializes from Takumi's blood to beat the shit out of him.

Concept 4: Traitor Route / Satellite Invasion Route

Takumi as a "Paragon of Despair" commander allying himself with the Commanders and leading the invasions against the SDU, each battle ends with the capture of a friend and you have to choose to either imprison or eat them. it could be that he's captured early on, MAYBE he revealed his foreknowledge and that leads to his capture and from there they talk more.

I think there's so many ways this one can be done in general: Not only would this be the route where Takumi can bond with the commanders vs the SDU students, but maybe Takumi can have mini routes associated with various commanders as he reaches an understanding/deeper connection with individual ones? Like Nyewgank straight up also has a time power and is depicted as a priest so maybe he can have a mini route dedicated to more worldbuilding as he teaches Takumi about his Futuran heritage? Maybe Takumi even embraces the religion and the internal strife within the commander ranks can have Takumi pick between factions like V'ehxness, Dahl'xia, and the like.

This one would def need to start with letting Eito kill Sirei but perhaps it can be its own golden end scenario with Eito finding out the Second Scenario truths and nudging the other students to join as commanders, with this route's enemies being an invading human army instead of the little monster mobs. Maybe it can even do a rehash of the Second Scenario final battle, but the combined might of the SDU and the Commanders helping them this time actually leads to a happier end for them.

This one is one of those route concepts I like not just for story reasons but for gameplay reasons as well, using the commanders in place of the students can expand gameplay a ton, you fight your endgame gigabuffed students that you spent all those previous routes building up with your giant 4 space bosses, maybe the human army has a different enemy variety type with a whole bunch of different new gameplay mechanics.

Concept 5: True Golden End -> This is the School Mode Dating Sim Option

Eito kills Sirei, then Takumi locks up Eito. Once everyone else wakes up, he uses Second Scenario foreknowledge to not only get the SDU on his side, but also takes the Commanders prisoner, eventually culminating in all the Commanders invading at once (maybe around day 20ish where you have half the army imprisoned and half the army invading). Because Sirei isn't brainwashing them this time and the captured commanders realize "oh shit these aren't humans they're artificial Futurans who literally didn't realize they were being used as weapons", Takumi and the gang + captured Futurans manage to establish a true dialogue with the remaining Futuran commanders and from there they have 80 days of fucking around in free time where you can date them ala the Danganronpa School Mode post games.

We can also date Shion AND Nigou.

Concept 6: Multiple Minds / Takumi remembers multiple routes

This one is a more loose concept and I already think Takumi remembering Second Scenario alone leads to a whole bunch of new route options BUT we could maybe expand on different routes and using multiple routes foreknowledge to give them good and or bad endings? Maybe Retsnom Takumi manages to go back and take Retsnom into himself instead of Darumi, and the rest of the route has us play as Darumi and making the choices to support and/or maybe even kill Takumi.

This can be used for a whole bunch of different routes, like an Eva/V'ehxness route Takumi going back and trying to help the commanders earlier on, an embittered Failed Rebellion Route Takumi being more merciless to try and prevent any SDU casualties, etc so I'll let you have your personal route blorbo pick

Concept 7: Eitovision Route

Listen if we're gonna have Eito be the government assigned yaoi for this boy, why not have a route where Takumi actually sees and lives the world through Eito's eyes? We see distorted versions of all the SDU and Commanders, even Eito and we can decide to help sabotage humanity alongside Eito and the route has a dramatic end with both of them being the only living SDU members left and it's a rehash of the Day 2 Eito solo battle.

Concept 8: MatchMaker Route

This one is more comedy focused but hear me out. Romance routes have Moko playing matchmaker and hosting an outright gameshow with Takumi's lovelife, so what if TAKUMI joins in on the action and tries to make his friends happy by playing cupid with them. Already there's a ton of potential choices in just setting up your fav pairs and you can even make your yuri/yaoi piles canon (take this to the extreme imagine if Takumi mid battle is like "V'ehxness you should really check out Addamaque you both love violence and murder :)" ), but maybe this could also be the Moko romance route.

Concept 9: Karua is Real Route

Ok so we all know that Second Scenario revealed that Karua was just an artificial memory in Takumi's head put there to make him fight extra hard for humanity as were all the hundred liners' backstories, she just happened to take up on Nozomi's look and history because Nozomi would always talk to test tube Takumi. But what if Karua actually WAS a real person on the satellite?

Second Scenario's end cutscene has Karua's spirit appear alongside Takumi, so perhaps from alt timeline shenanigans or whatever reason Uchikoshi cooks up, Karua actually IS real and this completely sends Takumi spiraling because there's two of them now!? And with Karua by his side and technically safe there's not really all that much reason for Takumi to want to fight for humanity.

You could take this in a ton of ways: Karua could be a plant by humanity, maybe a double agent by Sirei or even one of the executives from the Satellite who had a soft spot for this particular experiment, maybe this is a new Futuran commander/other party who was a plant IN the satellite and she nudges Takumi to abandon the cause and join Futurum because she likes him or DOESNT like him, maybe she's from an alt timeline where SHE is the artifical soldier and Takumi was the implanted memory, maybe this could even be a spy thriller/conspiracy esque route where Nozomi is the one trying to figure out what Karua's deal is because she KNOWS something is up. It can be taken in a ton of ways

Concept 10: Monster Mash

Another loose concept comedy focused one but what do you MEAN that there isn't a single vampire in the game where you eat other people's blood. Takumi literally reads about a whole bunch of human mythos in the library so what if he finds a cursed halloween book and now MONSTERS INVADE idk this one is more funny meme idea than anything

[mikanferno]

Hello! Your isat siblings au is very good and now has me wondering about how stuff like Sif's wish might play out differently since they're not so horribly isolated. How do they end up thinking about discovering that they're an Islander if they've grown up more constantly reminded of their memory problems (the people who taught him vaugardian are people he's still living and traveling with)?

Unrelated but brain still whirring, do you think the way Sif and Bonny end up joining the party would end up looking different?

i explained the islander thing a few asks ago, but its because nille noticed they were! nille was also a teen when the island dissapeared, and, in the game, shes the one who taught bonnie how big of a deal it was! so of course she'd know. she's from the northern coast, after all :3 (im still figuring out sif's wish btw)

about how they meet the party, though! i was writing that scene just a few days ago, so i'll put that under a readmore :3

"It's fine, we're fine, Bug-"

Bonnie pushed weakly at Siffrin's arms, a pout in their face, "You keep saying that, but you look like crab, Frin."

The cloaked one sighed, "Language."

Bonnie huffed. Siffrin smiled.

He stared at the road ahead, and fixed Bonnie's position so they wouldn't fall, and continued walking.

It had been days (weeks? close to a month? he'd lost count and despite all of his "progress" he still couldn't bring himself to ask Bonnie for help with this one) since they'd had to run from Bambouche, and while he liked to think himself a capable adult, the sudden change to traveling on his own after living comfortably with Nille and Bonnie for almost a decade, now, had thrown them for a loop.

They were hungry, tired, and stressed. He had managed to keep Bonnie fed well enough, but he didn't risk staying anywhere for too long, fearing the curse catching up to them.

He tried not to think too hard.)

(Catching up to him, and leaving Bonnie alone, like it had caught up to Nille. Catching up to Bonnie-

His legs shook with every step. Bonnie was not too heavy for them to carry, of course not, but they were exhausted.

He set them down.

“Frin?” Bonnie asked, tilting their head.

“Break time.” He stated, slumping down next to them.

Bonnie nodded easily, laying their head on his shoulder, “Do you think.. that we will find a clean town?”

Clean town, dirty town… That’s how they’d taken to differentiating curse affected towns from normal ones. Bonnie had come up with it.

They were yet to find a clean town.

“Maybe. But only after tomorrow, Bug.” There was no use promising a certain date, but wording it like that was kinder, he thought.

“You think so?”

Siffrin smiled. “Yeah, for sure, Bon.”

He'd just had to make sure to word it differently, next time.

They rested there for a few minutes. The forest was not quiet, as wind was picking up, making the leaves rustle loudly.

Then, suddenly, out of the corner of their eye...

A sadness. Paper type, by the looks of it.

They hurried to stand so they could pick Bonnie and run, but…

Three people were fighting it.

Well.. fighting it seemed like a stretch. It looked like they were struggling against it, in Siffrin's personal opinion.

Really struggling. One of them was K.O.’d, the other looked like a rock type, and the other…

He swallowed. He looked at Bonnie, who was dozing off in his arms, and made a decision.

"Bon, hey," he nudged them, and they turned to him, "Stay here for a sec, I will be right back, okay?"

Bonnie blinked, and nodded, their eyes full of trust.

Siffrin smiled, patted their shoulder.

Then, he lunged forward.

"AH!!" One of the strangers exclaimed, and fell back in surprise. He ignored him, and attacked the sadness with their favorite attack, and exclaimed:

"Knife to meet you!" as they attacked.

He fell on his feet, the sadness poofing behind him, and he huffed a shaky breath. He then turned to the strangers, an easy smile on his face, "Hello," he waved.

They stared silently for a few seconds.

The one in the middle- a girl- smiled wide, and reached forward to grab their hand, "Hello! Thank you so much for your help!" She beamed.

Siffrin jolted a bit from the sudden contact, but smiled back, "It was, uh, it was no problem!"

One of the other two who were hanging back, an older lady, nodded along, "Yes, thank you." She said, looking out of breath, "That sadness..."

"Was tough! Really tough!" The other person exclaimed, "I could barely get a hit in!"

"Good thing I took it by surprise then-" Siffrin said, turning back his head to look for Bonnie, "I- nice to meet you, really, but-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" The girl said, not letting go of his hand, "Quest! We're on a quest, to stop the king's curse!!"

Siffrin turned back to her quickly at that, "The... curse? Like the freezing?"

"Yes!" She beamed, "And you seem strong! Won't you join us?"

Siffrin blinked, gaping a little, "Me?"

"Yes, you!" The girl insisted.

"I-" They paused, thinking. If they could help them... then, Nille...

"Okay, I'll help!" He said resolutely.

The man behind the girl put a hand on her shoulder, "Mira! Won't you introduce us?" 

She blushed, "Right! I'm Mirabelle, I'm immune to the King's curse! He," She pointed to the man, "Is Isabeau, and she," She pointed to the lady who was still catching her breath, "Is Madame Odile! What's your name?"

Siffrin smiled, "I'm Siffrin- and I have my little sibling with me back there," He pointed back to the bushes with his thumb, and took a step back, "I'll uh, be right back?"

Mirabelle's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Oh! Oh, uh! Sure!"

He quickly ran back to his sibling, trying to calm his still racing heart, "Bonnie, you can come out now." He said, pushing aside a bush.

Bonnie's head popped up behind it, "Was that a sadness?" They asked, "I heard people. Did we find a town?"

Siffrin ruffled their hair, making them groan playfully, "No, but I did find some nice people who say they're gonna stop the freezing."

Bonnie stood up, surprised, "REALLY?"

He smiled, "Yes, really! They want us to tag along, what do you think?" He asked gently, already knowing the answer.

"CRAB YEAH!" Bonnie exclaimed, excited, "Nille- she- she's gonna be okay!!!" They smiled a toothy grin, relieved.

Siffrin nodded, patting their shoulder, "Yeah, yeah."

He took their hand in theirs, and walked back to Mirabelle's party. They ignored how tired they felt, and gave everyone a easy smile.

Chin up, Siffrin. You've got a sister to save.

[nardaviel]

i commissioned this absolutely stunning art from @the-phantom-peach for my shuake roleswap au!! it illustrates a lil moment i wrote about, which is under the readmore (beware sad feelings):

--------

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Grow it."

"Amamiya—"

Ren had looked tired that evening. Shadows dark as bruises under his eyes, less performative bounce in his movements. But he'd still texted Goro asking to meet, and he'd still smiled at him as he spoke, potted sunflower plant held out in offering. "If I got you cut flowers, they'd just die. This way you're stuck with them."

"I could just put the whole thing in the trash."

Goro would go back and swallow the words if he could. But back then, he'd just wanted to get under Ren's skin, to see if it was possible more than anything. It didn't happen that night; Ren's eyes crinkled with amusement, like they always did when Goro was curt.

"But I spent so long picking it out. I checked whether it's safe for cats and everything."

When in retrospect, it's clear that he'd known Morgana wasn't a cat at all. The little shit.

Goro stares at the dwarf sunflower plant growing contentedly on his windowsill. What was Ren's message with it, he thinks distantly, beyond the obvious flirtation. He's wondered that for months, turning over the question in his mind when he should've been sleeping, studying hanakotoba, but he never came to any conclusions and it never occurred to him to ask, so now he'll be thinking about it forever. Endlessly, stretching on into the distant future, while he gets older and goes to university and becomes an adult, and the world forgets Ren Amamiya ever existed. Why did he even bother saving such a country? Let it fucking rot.

I'll never forget him. I'll die carrying his memory.

Goro means the vow with all his determination, every atom of his will and all the choked grief still gathering in his chest like blood in a wound that's been stitched too soon. But it doesn't matter whether he means it or not. It's not enough. Too little too late; the pitiful offering of the one who let Ren die. Ren took his glittering gaze and his pointed wit and his labyrinthine mysteries and his constant, inexplicable affection, and he shattered them all on the Velvet Room floor. No amount of remembrance will undo that.

[snail-speed]

I've been formulating my Dandy's World AU a little bit more and I finally have a name for it! Say hello to

Mundane Aftermath!

I'll have to get the energy to work on a proper presentation of it like other AUs out there, but is the first part of the details, which I'll put under a readmore so it doesn't flood the tags (THIS IS REALLY LONG, I RECOMMEND TO OPEN IT IN A NEW TAB IF YOU'RE USING DESKTOP/LAPTOP):

The designs I use to draw toons are how they look in the AU, both in the show and outside of it!

The AU is divided into two primary parts, Mundane Prelude and Mundane Aftermath. Prelude focuses on what happened in Gardenview from its inception to its closure, while Aftermath focuses on what happens decades later, which is when the ichor operation of canon!DW happens in this AU.

The main theme of this AU, as the title would suggest, is a certain mundane reasoning behind everything that happens in the story. Ichor in this setting doesn't have supernatural properties, nor was anyone working on the toons deliberately evil, and the downfall of Gardenview happened much more akin to how similar companies shut down IRL.

The worldbuilding surrounding toons and ichor is also a lot more, well, mundane, and less geared towards horror. The toons are definitely still little weird abominations, but they're their own persons, and in this AU, they are treated less like property and more like employees of Gardenview, and after the museum closes they have to set out into the real world and make lives of their own, just like their human coworkers.

There will definitely still be drama, action, and a little bit of horror, but my AU is much more oriented to a slice-of-life comedy. Most everyone in the AU will have a happy ending after a lot of suffering!

The following details lay the general setting and the three "main" characters in the Prelude section of the AU!

Gardenview Before the Toons:

In this AU, Gardenview started out as the Gardenview Chemical Research Center, a laboratory which specialized in the development of polymers (the chemicals that are the basis of plastics).

Gardenview has areas that are above ground, as well as several underground floors. They don't bore deep into the Earth, though, at most there's 10 floors, excluding undeground parking. This is due to the fact the laboratory was built to take as little space as possible above ground.

Unlike canon!Gardenview, the common areas and most offices of Gardenview are NOT underground. Before the toons, the lower floors of Gardenview had a select few offices, laboratories, computer server rooms and several storage areas.

A certain someone worked as one of the lead researchers among the staff...

Delilah Keen:

Before elaborating, I must preface that the designs that I made for both Delilah and Arthur were made before we had a confirmation of their canonical appearances. In this AU, Delilah is the older person, while Arthur is the younger one!

Delilah is a brilliant chemist with a penchant for developing inorganic chemicals that have bizarre properties.

Unlike what's implied of her canon counterpart, Delilah in this AU is NOT evil. She never worked on the toon project with the express purpose of trying to play god or anything of the sort, and she never abused the toons.

She is, however, very bad at giving out necessary warnings and reading between the lines of someone's true intentions. She is also not very emotive and typically speaks with a flat affect. Despite this, she's diligent and fundamentally a kind person.

She developed an odd, intergenerational friendship with Arthur after they both met at a local arts and crafts festival and interacted further through their city's usenet group.

Speaking of...

Arthur Walton:

Arthur is an animator turned director. The young man responsible for the creation of Dandy's World.

He worked as an animator in the late 80's, and got a lucky break when the pitch for DW was greenlit for (at the moment) only one season.

He's a bit naive and very emotional, but just like Delilah, his kindness is genuine and so is his optimism (and eventually, his will to make things right after it all goes to shit).

Even before the toons were brought to life, he loved each and everyone of the characters he created. Especially a certain rainbow flower.

One fateful day, his friend Delilah invited him to her workplace, wanting to show him something as a birthday gift.

Ichor:

Ichor in this AU is a liquid plastic made out of synthetic polymers. In its natural state it's an almost-black dark brown thick liquid (think of the consistency of honey or really thick ink). It's safe for handling for humans (as it has similar properties to PET plastic), and technically safe for toons to handle (though for them lab equipment is extremely recommended).

Its most outstanding feature is not the fact its a liquid at room temperature, but the fact that it has the unexplained quality of creating synthetic life.

How did Delilah discover this? IDK, she just did, don't think too hard about it (it's funnier that way).

Can only cause the iconic infection when an extremely large amount of raw ichor enters a toon's body via a wound/excessive ingestion.

Despite its life-creating properties (with the right equipment), ichor didn't have a lot of other practical uses, so when Gardenview closed down most of it just sat in storage tanks abandoned.

The Printer:

Delilah also has plenty of engineering knowledge, and created the Printer, a device about two-three times as large as the typical office copy machine.

The Printer takes three inputs (apart from the obvious which is electrical power): Ichor, VHS (and later on, also DVD) recordings of the Dandy's World show, and copious amounts of reference sheets that Arthur has created of the show's cast.

The output? At the start, only a few inanimate objects. But Delilah wanted the Printer to reach its intended production. What was that? Toons, obviously!

Although the Printer was operational by the time Delilah showcased it to Arthur, they still spent a few months adjusting both it and the input materials as making life wasn't quite as easy as both of them thought.

One fateful attempt, though, the Printer finally spitted out a certain someone...

Dandy:

The first toon to ever be printed into life. Both in canon and in this AU. However, in this AU, he was born sometime in the very early 90's.

Just a little guy! Just a little dude! The shortest of all the non-pet toons, standing at around 101cm/3.3ft.

Definitely an adult, even when he just got printed. However, at the very start he was very sweet and innocent, since his only memories at that point were the events of the show's first season.

Doesn't technically have a canon voice in this AU, but I really like to imagine he sounds a lot like Dana Synder's role as either Scratch (from The Ghost and Molly McGee) or Master Shake (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force). It's just funny, okay?

Dandy in this AU came out... a little wonky. Instead of always having his cute looks, his default facial features make him look like some cranky old man. This is due to the fact that, in their frustration trying to make the Printer work, Arthur accidentally messed up the reference art for his face, and Delilah lacked the eye for illustration to notice the mistake before feeding the information to the printer.

Delilah offered to "decommission" Dandy and redo the process, but Arthur refused since, despite the flaws, holy shit Delilah, that's his son you're suggesting to kill! His baby boy! Plus, literally everything else about Dandy was like it should be, appearance and personality wise.

Dandy eventually learned to scrunch up his face to actually look like his show counterpart, and his real face ended up being a sort of secret among key staff of Gardenview.

Dandy was surprisingly chill about the prospect of suddenly "waking up" in some mysterious facility filled with strange, giant creatures. Arthur and Delilah told him the lie of being in a hospital for a rare, paralyitic illness he somehow catched, which is how they managed to wave away his facial features. Years later, he also took the truth about being a fictional character brought to life surprisingly well.

Okay that's enough yapping for now, if you have any questions about what I've been laying out so far send a reply to this post! I'll yap more and the next parts describing this whole AU will come out Soon (TM).

[taytrashmouth]

Heyy I was wondering if u could do prompt 22 with peeta I’ve been having peeta brainrot for so long 😭

tysmm!!

This is so real!!!!! Peeta supremacy. I really hope you love it.

Prompt 22: “You’re staring!”

Requests are open so please send them in!!!!!!!! Prompts under my profile.

(Set before the games)

:readmore:

It was a cold day in district 12, the snow had started to fall. But it was a good day, because you had somehow giggled your way into getting a date with Peeta Mellark.

You pulled your small brown bag, that’s been patched up so many times you couldn’t tell which fabric was the original. And began to walk to the bakery.

You pulled your dark blue beanie over your ears as you approached the door. You contemplated for a minute before knocking.

Peetas family were gathering supplies from the local market, they wouldn’t be back for the next few hours.

He opened the door and smiled the minute he saw you. You smiled back.

“Hey.” He ushered you inside, looking at the snow that dusted your shoulders.

“You must be freezing.” He took your coat and put it over the chair by the entrance.

“Only slightly.” You joked.

“You’ve got- umm snow.” Peeta pointed to your eyelashes. You giggled “oh, would you?”

You closed your eyes and he gently dusted the snowflakes off of your long eyelashes.

His hand lingered on your cheek as you opened your eyes.

“Thanks.” You spoke just above a whisper.

“I’m making bread.” He let out as he pulled his hand away. You smiled at his awkwardness.

“I’m glad! Your bread is like what I look forward to the whole week.” You told him as you walked to the kitchen.

He smiled shyly.

“I just need to get this in the oven and then we can do whatever you want.” He spoke, walking over to a metal bowl where the dough had been rising.

You sat on the kitchen counter and watched him knead the bread. You were mesmerised by the muscle in his arms, and the way he used his whole body to knead the dough.

He was talking about something but if you were honest you didn’t know what.

“Y/n-“ he called and you broke out of your trance. “You’re staring…” he smiled cockily.

You turned crimson looking at your hands and swinging your legs. “Sorry-“

“Don’t be…” he let out as he placed the bread into the oven.

“Come on.” He spoke and helped you down from the counter by your hips.

You blushed more.

He led you to the living room where a fire was going, it was small like all the houses in 12. But it was nice. Cozy.

You took your beanie off and attempted to smooth out your hair. Messy curls bouncing everywhere.

There was a severe lack of chairs in the living room. All single chairs in every corner of the room and a huge table in the middle. Furniture wasn’t one of the luxuries the Capitol provided.

You noticed some daisies lying on the table. Peeta picked them up. “I- I uh picked these for you. They grow down by the river.”

You smiled. “They’re beautiful.” You smelt them.

“Like you.” You both blushed then.

He took a daisy out of the bouquet and placed it behind your ear.

After a while of talking Peeta spoke “what do you wanna do? Unfortunately when it’s snowing there’s not much to do is there?”

“We could read.” You suggested fishing a book from your bag.

“Where did you get that?” Peeta examined it in awe.

“My dad, he knows a guy in 7 that owned a library before the rebellion. He’s really old. But every month my dad travels to get wood from 7 for our district and he gives him a book for me to read.” You explained.

“That’s amazing.”

“Yeah, when I was little he said that if the Capitol ever crumbles the library’s mine.” You smiled at the memory.

“You’ll have to take me with you.”

“Always.” You looked at every feature on his face. “You can lend some of them anytime you want. I have a feeling we’re gonna have to wait a long time for the whole library.” You joked and Peeta laughed

I would love to, but I’m not that great at reading.” He hesitated to speak. You could tell he was embarrassed.

“That’s okay, my mom taught me. Honestly I don’t blame you, schools here just care about coal and the rebellion.”

“Yeah…I’m sorry by the way.” He was talking about your mom. She died a few years back.

“It’s okay.” You smiled sadly.

“I can read to you if you want.” You offered.

He nodded. Hiding his excitement.

He sat on one of the chairs, and you sat on the floor next to him.

“Hey don’t sit on the floor.” Peeta sat up.

“No no! I’m fine, you won’t hear from over there, really.” You insisted.

“Sit with me.” Peeta suggested.

Blush crept into his face the second he said it.

“You don’t have t-“

“I want to.” You stood up.

He sat back onto the seat squeezing as far right as he could. You tried to squeeze next to him but you were half on top of him. You were both tomato’s.

He carefully placed his hand on your lower back and under your thigh. You took a sharp breath in as he moved you to sit on his lap, legs over the armrest.

“Is this okay?” He asked.

“Perfect.”

You began to read and he held onto every word. He was in deep and he knew it. He watched your lips move and the way you smiled when something good happened. And giggled when something romantic happened.

“Peeta-“ he broke from his trance when he realised you weren’t reading anymore.

“You’re staring.” You smirked.

Now he was the blushing mess. “It’s hard not to.” He moved some hair behind your ear.

You squealed and hurried your head in his chest at how perfect he was. He chuckled and stroked your hair as you continued to read, head on his chest.

[slugbeaker]

Theon genderbend sketch bc I saw a pic on twitter of like an 1800s archery dress and I needed to put Theon in it lol and so Theodora was spawned.

Yapping about her under the readmore bc I have lots of ideas yippiiiieeee

I also think it's very fun to think of how being born the opposite sex in asoiaf would change so much for certain characters, and Theon is definitely one of them. If Theodora is now Balon's youngest daughter instead of youngest son then it's probably likely that IF the Starks still take a hostage/ward, then it's going to be Asha who goes as the remaining eldest child. So Theodora gets to grow up on Pyke, and while I DO think that Theon would likely be more successful at maintaining social norms as an Ironborn lady than an Ironborn man, I also still think that not tooooo much changes in regards to like how Balon views her. Balon probably tries to do what he did with Asha and mold Theodora into what he would want from a male heir, and bc Theodora is still Theon I doubt she'll live up to his expectations as Asha would have bc that's just not who Theon is as a person lol. He was already shy and quiet when raised as a boy and I doubt being raised as a girl, even an Ironborn girl, would erase that part of the personality. So Theodora is still shy and insecure and uses cockiness and smiles to cover it up bc while she has a more secure place as a Greyjoy in this version of things, she still is not cut out for making papa Balon happy and if that isn't detrimental to a child's self esteem then I don't know what is.

Once Balon realizes he cannot mold Theodora into Asha 2.0 he probably largely ignores her unless a possibility for a betrothal pops up. And I imagine Theodora is still very promiscuous and she likes to play and flirt with the men that come asking for her hand but she's probably not reeeaaally interested in settling down unless it's a guy who really impresses her (cough like Robb Stark cough) and so she does stuff like what she's saying in this doodle like ohhhhh if you were REALLY worthy of wedding a daughter of Balon Greyjoy then you would bring me xyz when you return from your next trip. She def got the "i'm just a shy maid" thing from copying Asha lol. She's known as Balon's daughter who while not wed to an axe still has a tongue as barbed as her arrows and so tread cautiously when dealing with her. Theodora probably gets away with rocking jewelry more than Theon does bc if the men gifting her jewels paid the iron price for said jewels then what's the problem uwu? Dagmer also def has given Theodora some jewels from his old reaving days too bc that's his little princess the way Theon is his little prince :') I also tried to design her hair to make it look like she styled it like squid tentacles lol! Two shorter strands framing the face, and then 8 long bundles of hair tied back, Theodora you icon, you.

Theodora probably spends a decent amount of time on Harlaw with her mom to avoid having to be around Balon who is getting rather tired of her turning down every possible suitor (of course Balon also knows said suitors kind of ain't shit so he's not really pressed to marry her off yet, maybe make good offer to the king of salt and rock, hello??)

I have ideas for how Asha, Robb and Ramsay fit into this too but I am still fleshing out those ideas: basics are Asha since she is a few years older than Theon was when she is taken hostage never grows as close to the Starks/Robb as Theon did. The relationship is always much, much more politically motivated. If Theodora is given permission to visit Asha in Wintefell at some point, Robb is probably delighted to meet this other Greyjoy daughter who actually talks to him outside of to discuss how things will fare when Asha returns to Pyke. And sure, she's kind of rude but she's also not as scary as Asha haha. Maybe they become pen pals lol. Ramsay I imagine is going to be a potential/actual suitor for Theodora but I'm still thinking about that.

Anyways, while a lot changes, a lot is still much the same. Theodora still feels like a disappointment in a lot of ways, she has very lofty ideals of herself still, and you know what, she's kind of a bitch! All the things we love Theon for lol

[cosmic-chronologer]

i may have made this gothic dnd-adjacent setting and decided to turn it into a fun sona challenge~

I put the full context for the au under readmore for whoever’s interested!

{+COVENANT+}

(more might get added later if it becomes more of a thing)

+SETTING+

Post-POST apocalyptic gothic castle towns. The world was burned asunder centuries ago, leaving the remnants of humanity to rebuild society anew amongst the desolation.

Not long after the initial restoration of society, beings known as Emissaries showed up demanding that humanity bend to their will as they reshape the earth. Many who outright refused were damned to become monsters. Others fled for self preservation and became known as Heretics. Some did as the Emissaries asked and joined their ranks as Acolytes.

+FACTIONS+

Heretics: survivors of an unforgiving world, refuse to follow the Emissaries

Acolytes: servants of Emissaries, slayers of the damned and heretics alike

+HERETIC CLASSES+

HUNTER-

Hellion: hunt with ferver, gain the strength of monsters by devouring them

Assassin: hunt quickly and stealthily, have the shadows bend to you

Marauder: hunt with good fortune, unnatural luck is on your side

WITCH-

Haruspex: make blood sacrifices to cast spells, yours or others

Seer: able to see beyond the natural, unlock secrets and commune with spirits

Necromancer: summon and control unholy creatures

ALCHEMIST-

Apothecary: heal the sick and injured, poison your enemies

Enchanter: place enchantments on items, place hexes on your enemies

Architect: mend or create objects, exchange materials for what you seek to build

+ACOLYTE CLASSES+

Knight: put down the wicked with holy weapons

Cleric: heal and protect the wounded with your words

Prophet: receive answers and blessings directly from emissaries

Exorcist: banish evil spirits or trap the wicked with holy runes

+LOCATIONS+

Paragon: a fortified castle base for the Acolytes located in Altaire

Altaire: the largest city, overrun with Acolytes

Lazuli: a city now in ruins, ground zero for the arrival of the Emissaries, overrun with cursed monsters

Eris: castle town overflowing with secret passageways, semi safe haven for Heretics

+ENEMIES+

The Damned: monsters cursed by the emissaries for their “sins”, they are no longer human and will usually attack on sight

Emmisaries: wrathful angelic creatures from above, creators of calamities upon the human world

Acolytes: humans that align themselves with the Emissaries, often travel or fight in groups

Covenant Sona Challenge!

you can make your sona a Heretic, Acolyte, or even an Emissary if you’re feeling quirky~ go nuts basically! originally this was just going to be for Heretics, but I figured someone might wanna join the otherside for funsies, so I added a few classes for Acolytes

who knows, maybe if we get enough people in each faction we can even have an all out war

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

I'm in my feels about how the way ghosts interact with the world and each other affects Edwin and Charles as sensory seeking and sensory avoidant neurodivergents.

While it's already hard to understand the dynamics of ghostly interactions with their environment at play I'm pretty sure of these things. So we know that Edwin and Charles don't feel items and other alive people the same as they would alive. It's a different touch-based-sensory-less experience(?) at least that's what we know. And we know that they can feel other supernatural beings and each other, differently. I'm in the camp of its basically the same as normal human sensory touch but that could be argued a bit. However we're sticking with that both for the sake of this post and cause I want to.

This analysis got long as shit so readmore it is

Now we see Edwin being very touch avoidant with relatively everyone (besides Niko and Charles) and we see Charles being touch seeking with just about everyone. This makes sense to me under the fact that they as neurodivergent beings both have their more usual "resting state" on the touch-sensory-acceptance scale where Edwin generally rests at the sensory avoidant side and Charles rests at the sensory seeking side.

The implications though of how the fact that you can't really feel things through touch the same way as you would alive really gets to me though. Because you might think that without the sensory part of touch there wouldn't be anything to activate the neurodivergent avoidance right? Well obviously this is not the case for Edwin as we see him from the beginning tolerating touches from Charles and no one else. Then we gain Niko too as someone he appreciates the touch of. And if he can't really Feel the alive people, like Crystal, the same that means that the new ghost touch sensory experience also triggers the touch avoidance. And we see Charles practically touching anyone and (anything) who will let him which means the ghostly touch also triggers touch seeking. So does this mean that under DBDA dynamics neurodivergence finds a way to still be sensitive to sensory experiences under any circumstance? Both in avoiding and seeking it? Does this mean that it's more of a mental thing than the actual 5 senses of it? This is so interesting to me because I've often thought that having the ability to turn off and on sensory capabilities would be LOVELY for my mental health (I have ADHD) I'm not so sure that's true anymore because my brain would just adjust and find ways to avoid and seek THAT new feeling. The feeling of the absence of feeling.

Now the difference between ghost-alive touch/ghost-environmental object touch and ghost-fellow ghost or other supernatural being touch is also interesting to me in sensory seeking terms. Because we also see Edwin enjoying Charles touch specifically and at first we could assume that he only likes touch under ghostly sensory feelings. And us neurodivergent people often have our people that we have more spoons to handle the touch of than others. Which also has very adorablely soft implications of Charles being Edwin's Safe Person including sensorily. But then we see him enjoy Niko's touch too which means that he can also find his sensorily safe person in alive interaction sensories terms. And obviously we see Charles being sensory avoidant too when he's out of spoons for that, like when he bats Edwin's hand away when Edwin attempts to comfort him at the lighthouse. And we see Edwin also sensory seek in, as George put it, craving Charles' touch after their hug in episode 5.

Now I'm fairly certain that they feel things in Hell the same as they would between other supernatural beings and as they did when alive. Which after 70 fucking years of that, I don't even KNOW how I would feel about touch as an already sensory avoidant person if I was in Edwin's shoes. Genuinely an unfathomable part of the experience for me. But clearly Edwin still can handle touch just more specific about it. No different than a regular neurodivergence experience really. Which just gives me so many emotions because Edwin baby boy I knew you were so so strong but 🥺 how did you handle this so well too 🥺. I don't know how you did it. He has so much credit for how he's handled (well everything, but specifically this) so well under these circumstances. Someone pls tell him he deserves more credit than he gives himself.

Anyway my Edwin hell emotions aside, i saw someone mention awhile ago (I would credit them but I don't remember who) that Charles and Edwin wear their gloves so often specifically to avoid having to think about the fact that they don't have the normal human sense of touch anymore which is just so something. Because that in and of itself is its own sensory avoidant behavior. Avoiding the fact that they're not really experiencing a specific flavor of sensory anymore? Could this be true for their many layers of clothing they don to possible keep from feeling that they can't feel the environment the same? Like wind/the snow in ep1, the temperature, and other elements? Sensory avoidance too. A supernaturally charged type of sensory avoidance but still. Sensory avoidance. Plus how we see them lose their layers and gloves when they're in their office bubble alone? Their home? Their comfort space where they have the spoons to relax? And possibly have the spoons to handle the new (well new as a relative term) different type of touch sensory experience that is their ghostly existence? Cause in THESE terms Edwin's sensory seeking in the form of rolling up his sleeves and placing his legs propped up upon the couch arm to experience this new type of environmental feel more fully. And Charles is sensory seeking in the form of Touching Everyone of His Magic Bag Items (and doing classic neurodivergent rearranging and setting up just to take back down play but that's beside the point) and fidgeting by throwing (and consequently touching) the ball in ep1. Which IS in line with how when we're more emotionally comfortable we have the spoons for being more comfortable with other things like more touch and more audio and more visuals as neurodivergents. These are the environmental and worldly items based touch. But we also see them touching EACHOTHER more within their office comfort zone, which means they also feel more sensory seeking in the way we're familiar with in their home bubble. And having the spoons for being more emotionally vulnerable there too but that's not really the point of this post.

In conclusion, how Edwin and Charles still act as touch-sensory seeking and avoidant neurodivergent individuals after this long as ghosts really enamors me. I didn't really go into analyzing the other 4 senses have changed for them but we know they can see and hear the same so those sensory seeking levels wouldn't change, and smell and taste are too things they mentioned they don't have anymore as ghosts but they HAVEN'T touched on how smell and taste senses would work between them and other supernatural entities like. I can't really comment on how the minute differences between ghost on alive and and ghost on ghost feelings would differ without knowing more. Like perhaps this would be touched on more in season 2? Like the taste of eachother hmm? Much to think about. Anyway yeah this was my neurodivergent reading of their touch based sensory seeking, I probably didn't consider some things, so I would love to hear your input on this too!