#trying to keep my shit together

[dawnbreakerluna]

I just have this strong inkling that Sylus is gonna be a strongly multi-layered character. Like yes, he is a villain, and probably with good reason. Considering how the current timeline/story is so deeply woven with the myths and other phenomena we may not know of yet, it's likely that Sylus is this anomaly who exists to bring an unexpected sequence of events that hasn't been foretold by any prophecy or past life.

Knowing that Xavier's role has allusions to time and time traveling (the current timeline we play in is the past), he's essentially breaking that prophetic rule, in a way. Going back to the main timeline to try and save the MC, destroying the protocores in Onichynus' possession...

But everything that Xavier's purpose is, maybe Sylus has exceeded that already or intends to, at least. Since he's been watching the MC this whole time, and has seen her with Xavier/Lumiere... the central rivalry will transpire between those two. I can also see a rivalry between Rafayel and Sylus, only because Raf seems to have the deeper connections when it comes to networking and who does what, etc. (And with Zayne who became a cardiac surgeon with the intention of saving MC, it's likely a tense rivalry between him and Sylus would gradually turn into something of neutral ground.)

Anyway, my point of it all is: Sylus will break the pattern. Whatever curse there is that has been placed on MC, his existence seeks to rid of that curse by any means possible. I do truly believe he wants to let the world burn for her, and the protocore experimentation serves a greater purpose of trying to save her...

[spacedlexi]

maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general

neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for

[moiraineswife]

"You should have stayed away."

"I know."

[naomiknight-17]

Glad I've got my little travel Eevee attached to my bag today

Poor little guy's gonna have a bald spot on his head, i keep petting him so much

[dailyriolu]

A silly guide on how I draw normal Riolu vs My sona

[mikhailoism]

kinda sad to me that there's no truck bombing aus where bobby was on the truck and he's the one who gets crushed........

[romionarry]

the rituals are intricate and very comical

[dazzle02]

Fiona and Lip vs Mickey (They did not hate him or treat him unfairly!!)

People love to claim Fiona and Lip were always super unfair to Mickey and I need to get all this out. I said in my last post that I would make this post at some point, and so I'm doing it now because I need to get it out.

I'll start with Lip.

So during the first 3 seasons Lip was the only one who knew about Ian and Mickey. And he was always pretty supportive about it really. At the end of S3 he made one comment to Ian about how the good thing about falling for Mickey was that you could always do better. Was that necessarily nice? No. But I never actually even took it as Lip truly not liking Mickey for Ian. Just as that thing people often do when their friend/sibling goes through a breakup. Trying to make him feel better, and adding in a little trash talk about the person who hurt them. But also, their relationship hadn't exactly been the most healthy. I love Gallavich, but we can all acknowledge that, right? Mickey had beaten Ian up just a couple episodes before that. Also, Lip very rarely got to see them together pre season 4. And when he did, they were pretending there was nothing going on because Mickey didn't know Lip knew. Lip literally saw Mickey walk off to go have sex with Angie while Ian was right there. And sure, he would've likely been told some of the better stuff about their relationship (if it can even be called that in 1-3?) but for the most part he only got to see the bad, and also the bad was what Ian was gonna talk more about because that was when he needed to get things out. So yeah, Lip may have had a little bit of hesitance towards their relationship at that point in time.

And same in early S4 when he asked Ian if it was really a good idea that Mickey was still at the house. That wasn't anything actually against Mickey as a person, that was about the situation and the fact that he knows how much everything hurt Ian.

Also, he knew about Mickey being gay since S1 and Mickey never even suspected he knew anything until S4 when Lip had to hint at it to try and get him to say whether he'd heard from Ian. Lip knew that wasn't something he was supposed to know, and so he only knew it when he and Ian were alone.

In S4 when Lip was looking for Ian, Mickey was the first person he asked after Debbie and Carl. And he didn't push. He just asked if he'd heard from him, the only thing I'd say could be classed as pushing was his "are you really gonna make me spell it out?" about his and Ian's relationship. And even that he quickly backed off from. Then he said he'd let Mickey know what kind of trouble Ian was in once he found out. (And by telling Mandy what was going on, he did...)

Season 5 is where it gets interesting and where I see the most shit about Lip being unfair to Mickey.

We see Lip and Fiona go to Mickey to ask him to try and talk to Ian about going to see a Doctor, they explain the symptoms of Bipolar they're seeing in Ian. They mention Monica to point out that they know what they're talking about. (We also see that Lip is actually amused by Mickey when he's beating that guy up and yelling up to his wife...) And Mickey ignores them. And that must've been SO frustrating and scary for them. But they don't hold it against him, because they understand!

Then we see Mickey go to Lip and ask about the doctor after the debacle with the suitcases. And Lip is visibly worried, but when Mickey tells him things are okay, he believes him. Or he doesn't quite believe him, but he doesn't push. And this is something I often see people think the opposite of. People often seem to believe that Lip will push Mickey over Ian's Bipolar, that he won't let him handle it himself and just insert himself in and not trust Mickey has things handled. And honestly, after this I wouldn't have blamed him if that was true. But it's just NOT.

Then we really get into it. Episode 5 happens. Ian hasn't come home and Mickey goes to find him and learns he left the club with some other guy and he's pissed. But he can't get to Ian, so he goes after Lip. (Just like in 1x03...) He and his brothers invite Lip to join them in their shooting stolen guns at a window thing, then try and leave him to take the fall. They literally could've destroyed his entire life. And look, Lip was an adult and made the choice to join them. But at the end of the day, Mickey was angry at Ian and tried to take that out on Lip. AND IT IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN! Lip never holds it against him. He could've. Maybe even should've. But he doesn't.

Because the very next episode is when Ian has taken Yevgeny and Lip goes to the Milkovich house with Fiona and is totally fine with both Mickey and Iggy and it's like nothing happened. And the car scenes!

Mickey apologises because he realises that he should've listened to Fiona and Lip when they told him that Ian needed help. And Lip responds that yes, he should've. Because he should have. Then proceeds to let him know it can get worse. But then the second car scene, once they have Ian. Lip tells Mickey that he did his best. That he knows he tried, and that that's more than most people would do. With no prompting. Literally the episode before this, Mickey and his brothers had tried to set him up for a crime they'd committed and didn't apologise or anything, and yet Lip is so quick to assure him he did okay. Despite the fact that he likely does have some anger at the fact that he didn't listen to them from the start.

Then when he and Fiona are going to pick Ian up from the hospital, he says he thought Mickey would be there. Lip can see how much Mickey loves Ian. He was surprised he wasn't there.

That deleted scene from after Ian didn't go to Mexico with Mickey next. "People say "You always went a little loco when Mickey was around." THAT LINE WASN'T ANYTHING ABOUT IAN'S BIPOLAR OR THE WAY MICKEY HANDLED IT! It was a "I know how in love with Mickey you are and how much you'd do to be with him." That wasn't a criticism of Mickey. And Lip saying he doesn't think he should've gone wasn't either. It was just that he didn't wanna lose his brother, and that he also knew it likely wouldn't be good for his health. (Which I talked about in my last post...)

In Season 10 when Ian tells Lip he thinks Mickey killed Paula, Lip's response is that of course he should lie to the police and say that Mickey was there all night.

Lip literally tells Ian he thinks he should marry Mickey the next episode, but only when he's ready. That first he needs to figure out why he doesn't want to at that moment. And he was right. Ian was so clearly going through something at that point in time, struggling with his feelings of worthiness and about his Bipolar and legally binding Mickey to that for the rest of his life.

And then along with everyone else Lip does everything in his power to make the wedding happen. Which, yes the wedding is also his brother's. But you don't go that far to make sure your brother gets to marry someone you don't approve of or like.

In S11 there's the "family only" moment, but I get what Lip meant there. It wasn't that he didn't consider Mickey to be family, it was that he felt the conversation should only be the Gallagher siblings. This was their childhood home, it was a discussion between them. He also told Tami to back off. The "What so Mickey's family but Tami isn't" thing also didn't come off as a criticism of Mickey being family to me, more as a "Tami is the mother of my child, marriage isn't the only way to become family." But I get that might just be me.

And they butt heads a lot, I get that. But at the end of the day, Lip does approve of Mickey. I'd even go as far as to say he likes and cares about him.

Now onto Fiona.

Let's start with the fact that she had no idea anything was even going on between them until suddenly Mickey was living in their house. And she never really said anything about it. Just had a little confusion about it.

The real starting point is when she realised Ian was Bipolar. People claim she did a bad job at explaining it to Mickey and made it sound like something that could never be stabilised in any way and that the only answer was hospitalisation. But like, she was terrified too. Her little brother who she loves is in a depressive episode and she's just realised he's likely Bipolar and the only experience she has of it is her mother. Monica. She was absolutely terrified because the last experience she had with Monica at that point in time was her slitting her wrists in the kitchen. Her entire childhood was totally chaotic because Monica wasn't taking her meds. (Plus everything with Frank, and I'll always say he's far worse!! But this isn't about him...) She has never experienced someone actually being able to live a good life with bipolar where they're not just hurting everyone around them. And of course she was getting frustrated, because even though logically she would've understood that Mickey just doesn't know anything about Bipolar, it likely felt like he was invalidating her trauma. ("Depressed? We all get fucking depressed." "He's depressed we'll cheer him up." "I'll hide the knives until he perks up.") Not only would that feel like he was just saying "it can't be that bad, you're overreacting and I can fix this." but also some of these things are likely things she'd thought or said about Monica when she was younger. Trying to cheer her up when she's depressed, trying to downplay it a bit to help herself deal. But she knows from experience that's not how it works. And she's terrified because now it's her little brother.

But she agrees to let Mickey take care of him. She can see how much this means to him, that he's determined and that he's not going to let her get him to a doctor. (Even though legally she could've as he was still underage and she was his legal guardian...)

And people also seem to think that the Gallaghers just abandoned Ian with the Milkoviches while he was depressed and didn't help out or anything, but the scene of her and Ian going for that run together doesn't feel that way at all to me. I've always felt they'd go to see him whenever they could and do what they could to help out. But at the end of the day, he was at the Milkovich house and they couldn't just be there at all times. (Just another criticism I see a lot that I hate...)

As I said in Lip's section, they go to see Mickey to talk to him about getting Ian to see a Doctor, and he refuses.

At the end of the episode when Ian shows up to their pool party Fiona immediately asks where Mickey is. Which means that she not only either extended the invite to Mickey to come too, or just assumed he would, but also cared enough to ask after him when he didn't show.

In episode 2, Mandy asks Mickey if they should call Fiona when Ian's planning to go kill a bunch of homophobes. (This unintentional foreshadowing to Gay Jesus though...) Mickey immediately says no because she'll take him to a Shrink. Again, I get that's scary, but that was what he needed.

Mickey finally calls her when Ian takes Yevgeny and she immediately goes over there and calls Lip too. She also doesn't lay any blame at Mickey's feet. There's no getting annoyed that he didn't listen to them when they warned him. Just need to find Ian.

She smiles when Mickey calls himself Ian's boyfriend in the next episode when they're going to visit him. She's comforting towards him when Ian leaves after the visit by assuring him that he's just sedated and adjusting to meds and that it'll be okay. But doesn't push. Then later tells Gus that she thinks it was really hard for Mickey.

Here's the part where she gets the most criticism though. "I thought Mickey would be here." "I didn't." THIS WAS NOT ANYTHING AGAINST MICKEY! She had seen how hard the visit was for him. She saw his reaction and how freaked out he was. This wasn't her saying "I didn't think he'd come because he doesn't actually care about Ian and he's the worst!" No! It was her saying "I didn't think he'd come because I saw how much it hurt him seeing him like that and haven't heard from him since." Also, she wasn't wrong. He wasn't there. Like, we know why. He was struggling with everything and that is understandable. But why is Fiona just so awful for believing something that turned out to be true?

Then of course Mickey came back and all was good. And Fiona wasn't surprised by that. She never held it against him that he wasn't there to pick Ian up. There was no animosity. He offered to help her out with Carl's Court outfit stuff, she just asked if he could use an iron and then they walked off together to go do that and possibly talk or whatever.

Then Mickey was still just walking about the house like it was his own after Ian was arrested. This was totally normal to Fiona. There was no question whether Mickey would be going with them to see Ian in Military Prison. When they got back she was fine with leaving him with Debbie and Liam as if it was totally normal.

And I spoke about her line in S7 about how Mickey would set a match to Ian's life in my last post. But I'll say it again here. It wasn't about Mickey as a person or his relationship with Ian. It was about the fact that Mickey was literally a fugitive. He'd just escaped Prison and was a fugitive. Ian could not have been in a relationship with him at that time without destroying his entire life. Without losing his job. Without losing his family due to the fact that he would also now be a fugitive and wouldn't be able to have contact with them. Going with Mickey would cost him everything. She was right. He would've set a match to Ian's life. And he kinda did. To me it was never about her thinking Mickey was bad for Ian. She knew how much they love each other and she saw how good for each other they could be. But at that point in time, they couldn't have had a good relationship. The circumstances were too bad. She didn't want that life for Ian. Constantly looking over his shoulder because the Police were looking for him, always on the run, never able to really see his family.

They didn't have many interactions, but a lot of them were during a time where both were terrified for Ian and wanted to handle it in different ways. Both came from places of love. But Fiona's also came from a place of experience, while Mickey's came from a place of inexperience.

[hood-ex]

I have seen you talking about Dick & Dami's relationship and Dick & Tim as well,but what are your takes on Dick and Jason actually?

Like how you wish their relationship should be portrayed today and where are them missing when it comes to making those two acting like siblings?

Do you think in the past their dynamic was better?

How Dick views Jason and how Jason views Dick?

This is difficult to answer because there are like 8 different stages to Dick and Jason's relationship with various dynamics. They also view each other a bit differently depending on which stage we're talking about.

The way I would like their relationship to be portrayed today isn’t necessarily possible thanks to Jason’s integration into the family and acceptance of the no killing moral code. For me, their ideal dynamic is portrayed in Outsiders #44-46. And I know people are gonna find that regressive as hell but, tbh, that dynamic is far more interesting than the kinda awkward thing they have going on now.

Although, I don't mind that they acknowledge their brotherhood in a serious manner now. Like before they'd kinda be like, "Eh... I mean... we were adopted from the same guy but... brothers? Eh..." And now they're more firmly in the, "We're brothers," camp. So that development is interesting.

Character progression wise, it wouldn't feel right for for them to be super close in the way that, say, Dick and Tim are (unless we saw a lot of trust and relationship building between them), but at the same time, there is part of me that kind of wants them to have that older sibling bond (except Jason is closer in age to Tim than he is to Dick sooo actually let's just leave older sibling things to Dick and Cass... not that Cass is much older than Jason though so LOL this is why Dick has to lone the oldest sibling thing by himself... which is funny because Dick is technically no longer the oldest sibling, he's a baby brother now... except Dick and Melinda's relationship really hasn't progressed much sooo you could say they share blood but don't consider each other family yet, in which case, Dick is still the oldest... I mean, regardless, Dick is the oldest sibling of the Waynes... god why did they have to make all of this so difficult 😫).

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.

You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places

also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u

variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut

tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste

[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]

[bonkalore]

🖍

7. 🖍️ Post Any sentence from your WIP From my Bleeding Magic AU outline since that's what I've got the most on of any of my WIPs. It was hard to pick just a sentence or even just one excerpt, but guess I'll go with this one!

--------------------------------------------

Jayce is hyperfocused on trying to translate the new messages on the wall as Daniel starts to hear commotion outside and takes a glance. He sees Shak and Hoagie are in danger and they have company. He tells Jayce they need to get going and he desperately is trying to quickly memorize it/write it down.

Daniel: What are you doing?! We need to get out of here! Jayce: Yeah, I know, man! Just trying to get this writing down! Daniel: All that on the door? Jayce: Yeah! If I could just get the symbols down for later, I can translate the--!  Daniel: (pulls out his phone and takes several pics quickly)  Jayce: ... Right.. Daniel: Got it. NOW LET'S MOVE!!

Jayce is upset he STILL needs more to unlock it & will have to decipher the other clues later. He gets stuck looking over it one last time, finding it hard to give up just yet still … until he hears Shak scream and call his name, his ear swiveling in her direction and immediately shifting his focus. He’s out of the portal rift before Daniel can even say his name again, grabbing his jacket and tying it around his waist on the way.

[msflora-lynn]

Nightmares [Dad!AU]

Okay I'm consumed by the "Primarch having kid" AU. You guys broke me and now I'm gonna write one for Magnus, where he comforts his kid!

Word count: 830 words. Warnings: None, this is cute and wholesome fiC NOTHING BAD HAPPENS!!

“Father.”

(Y/N)’s small voice echoed inside the grand master bedroom. Their tiny head peeked through the heavy, ornate door, searching for their father. They found him seated at his desk, immersed in a book. The Crimson King—Magnus—preferred spending his quiet moments reading or exploring what he called “the Great Ocean.”

“Yes, my child?” Magnus turned his head, his crimson eyes softening at the sight of them shyly peeking into the room. “Why are you awake at this hour? I can sense your mind is unsettled.”

“I had a nightmare,” (Y/N) admitted, leaving the doorway and running toward him. They clung to his right leg, burying their face in his thigh. “I dreamed you were gone! You weren’t here with me! I don’t know why, but you disappeared, and I couldn’t find you!”

Magnus’s stern yet compassionate expression remained unchanged as he scooped his child into his arms, placing them gently on his lap. “And you’re afraid of losing me?”

Tears stained (Y/N)’s cheeks, and their lips quivered as they nestled against his neck. “Yes! I don’t want to lose you! Promise me you won’t leave! Promise you’ll stay with me!”

Magnus, known for his immense power and knowledge, was a figure (Y/N) always believed to be invincible. The idea of losing him had never crossed their mind before. But now, the fear of him vanishing—of their father leaving them behind—gnawed at their heart.

“(Y/N),” he said softly, his tone soothing. “I know exactly what will help calm you.”

He made a book float from his desk and held it as he carried (Y/N) to the bed. Sitting down, he began to weave a story using his powers, animating the scenes within the book.

The projection came to life, illuminating the room with a gentle glow. It began with a depiction of the universe’s creation—a grand explosion birthing a planet, and the early life that began to thrive on Prospero.

“Look at these little creatures,” Magnus said, pointing to the projection of strange, ancient animals. “They used to roam this planet long ago. Do you see how life flourished?”

The projection fast-forwarded, showing natural disasters, extinction events, and evolution. Magnus narrated as the creatures vanished, their remains transforming into dust and compost that nurtured new life.

“From death comes life,” he explained. “Nothing lasts forever. All things end, returning to dust. But from that dust, life always begins anew.”

(Y/N) watched as the scene shifted to a limping animal, weakened and dying. Its body eventually returned to the earth, feeding the plants around it.

“All is dust... in the end?” they asked, their voice trembling.

“Yes,” Magnus replied. “But from dust, comes life.”

He gently patted their head, noticing their eyes growing heavy. The soft glow of the projection was lulling them to sleep.

“But I don’t want you to turn to dust or go away,” (Y/N) murmured, their voice barely above a whisper.

Magnus smiled faintly, brushing a stray strand of their hair from their face. “You are strong, my child. Even if one day the universe collapses and the stars explode, taking me away, you will be okay. I believe in you.”

To reassure them, Magnus conjured another scene: a projection of himself as a small child.

“Is that... you?” (Y/N) asked, their curiosity momentarily keeping them awake.

“It is,” he said with a nod. “When I first arrived on this planet, I was just as small and confused as you. I knew my purpose, but I was alone. I didn’t know anyone, and no one knew me. Yet, I pushed forward. I learned, I grew, and I thrived.”

Magnus noticed them struggling to keep their eyes open, though they were mesmerized by the soft, glowing imagery.

“Did you ever miss your father? The Emperor?” they asked sleepily, correcting themselves.

“I did,” Magnus admitted. “Our communication was limited, but when we spoke, it felt wonderful. Still, I knew I couldn’t depend on him. The achievements here on Prospero were the result of my own hands, and the efforts of the people who live here. If I had stayed a sad child, lost in loneliness, I would not have accomplished anything.”

“But I’m not strong like you,” (Y/N) whispered, clutching his robe.

“Even when it feels like the world is ending, you will be okay,” Magnus reassured them, gently stroking their hair. He dimmed the projection, transforming it into a serene display of softly glowing stars sprinkled across the room. “And if tomorrow is my end, you will still be okay.”

(Y/N)’s small fingers held his hand as they finally drifted off to sleep.

Magnus watched them for a moment, then considered returning to his studies. But instead, he lay down beside them, pulling the blanket over them both.

He rarely indulged in moments like this, wanting (Y/N) to grow strong and independent. Yet tonight, they had been brave enough to seek his comfort, and he would be a good, loving father. Tonight, he would stay by their side to make them feel safe.

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

[trans-yllz]

person supposed to be moving in this week has not signed the lease or told me when they plan to get here. old housemate keeps loudly moving stuff out at like 10pm on week nights. new housemate has various slightly inconsiderate habits that are kind of driving me insane. other housemate acts like he's the only person on earth who might have stuff going on while he continues to not pay rent. I'm going to light this house on fire

[screambirdscreaming]

I used to like saying "gender is a social construct," but I stopped saying that because people didn't tend to react well - they thought that I was saying gender wasn't real, or didn't matter, or could be safely ignored without consequences. Which has always baffled me a bit as an interpretation, honestly, because many things are social constructs - like money, school, and the police - and they certainly have profound effects on your life whether or not you believe in them. And they sure don't go away if you ignore them.

Anyway. What I've taken to saying instead is, "gender is a cultural practice." This gives more of a sense of respect for the significance gender holds to many people. And it also opens the door to another couple layers of analysis.

Gender is cultural. It is not globally or historically homogeneous. It shifts over time, develops differently in different communities, and can be influenced by cross-cultural contact. Like many, many aspects of culture, the current status of gender is dramatically influenced by colonialism. Colonial gender norms are shaped by the hierarchical structure of imperialist society, and enforced onto colonized cultures as part of the project of imperial cultural hedgemony.

Gender is practiced. What constitutes a gender includes affects and behaviors, jobs or areas of work, skillsets, clothing, collective and individual practices of gender affiliation and affirmation. Any or all of these things, in any combination, depending on the gender, the culture, and the practitioner.

Gender encompasses shared cultural archetypes. These can include specific figures - gods and goddesses, mythic or fictional characters, etc - or they can be more abstract or general. The Wise Woman, Robin Hood, the Dyke, the Working Man, the Plucky Heroine, the Effete Gay Man, etc etc. The range of archetypes does not circumscribe a given gender, that is, they're not all there is to gender. But they provide frameworks and reference points by which people relate to gender. They may be guides for ways to inhabit or practice a gender. They may be stereotypes through which the gendered behavior of others is viewed.

Gender as a framework can be changed. Because it is created collectively, by shared acknowledgement and enforcement by members of society. Various movements have made significant shifts in how gender is structured at various times and places. The impact of these shifts has been widely variable - for example, depending on what city I'm in, even within my (fairly culturally homogeneous) home country, the way I am gendered and reacted to changes dramatically. Looping back to point one, we often speak of gender in very broad terms that obscure significant variability which exists on many scales.

Gender is structured recursively. This can be seen in the archetypes mentioned above, which range from extremely general (say, the Mother) to highly specific (the PTA Soccer Mom). Even people who claim to acknowledge only two genders will have many concepts of gendered-ways-of-being within each of them, which they may view and react to VERY differently.

Gender is experienced as an external cultural force. It cannot be opted out of, any more than living in a society can be opted out of. Regardless of the internal experience of gender, the external experience is also present. Operating within the shared cultural understanding of gender, one can aim to express a certain practice of gender - to make legible to other people how it is you interface with gender. This is always somewhat of a two-way process of communication. Other people may or may not perceive what you're going for - and they may or may not respect it. They may try to bring your expressed gender into alignment with a gender they know, or they might parcel you off into your own little box.

Gender is normative. Within the structure of the "cultural mainstream," there are allowable ways to practice gender. Any gendered behavior is considered relative to these standards. What behavior is allowed, rewarded, punished, or shunned is determined relative to what is gender normative for your perceived gender. Failure to have a clearly perceivable gender is also, generally, punished. So is having a perceivable gender which is in itself not normative.

Gender is taught by a combination of narratives, punishments, and encouragements. This teaching process is directed most strongly towards children but continues throughout adulthood. Practice of normatively-gendered behaviors and alignment with 'appropriate' archetypes is affirmed, encouraged, and rewarded. Likewise 'other'- gendered behavior and affinity to archetypes is scolded, punished, or shunned. This teaching process is inherently coercive, as social acceptance/rejection is a powerful force. However it can't be likened to programming, everyone experiences and reacts to it differently. Also, this process teaches the cultural roles and practices of both (normative) genders, even as it attempts to force conformity to only one.

Gender regulates access to certain levers of social power. This one is complicated by the fact that access to levers of social power is also affected by *many* other things, most notably race, class, and citizenship. I am not going to attempt to describe this in any general terms, I'm not equipped for that. I'll give a few examples to explain what I'm talking about though. (1) In a social situation, a man is able to imply authority, which is implicitly backed by his ability to intimidate by yelling, looming, or threatening physical violence. How much authority he is perceived to have in response to this display is a function of his race and class. It is also modified by how strongly he appears to conform to a masculine ideal. Whether or not he will receive social backlash for this behavior (as a separate consideration to how effective it will be) is again a function of race/class/other forms of social standing. (2) In a social situation, a woman is able to invoke moral judgment, and attempt to modify the behavior of others by shame. The strength of her perceived moral authority depends not just on her conformity to ideal womanhood, but especially on if she can invoke certain archetypes - such as an Innocent, a Mother, or better yet a Grandmother. Whether her moral authority is considered a relevant consideration to influence the behavior of others (vs whether she will be belittled or ignored) strongly depends on her relative social standing to those she is addressing, on basis of gender/race/class/other.

[Again, these examples are *not* meant to be exhaustive, nor to pass judgment on employing any social power in any situation. Only to illustrate what "gendered access to social power" might mean. And to illustrate that types of power are not uniform and may play out according to complex factors.]

Gender is not based in physical traits, but physical traits are ascribed gendered value. Earlier, I described gender as practiced, citing almost entirely things a person can do or change. And I firmly believe this is the core of gender as it exists culturally - and not just aspirationally. After the moment when a gender is "assigned" based on infant physical characteristics, they are raised into that gender regardless of the physical traits they go on to develop (in most circumstances, and unless/until they denounce that gender.) The range of physical traits like height, facial shape, body hair, ability to put on muscle mass - is distributed so that there is complete overlap between the range of possible traits for people assigned male and people assigned female. Much is made of slight trends in things that are "more common" for one binary sex or the other, but it's statistically quite minor once you get over selection bias. However, these traits are ascribed gendered connotations, often extremely strongly so. As such, the experience of presented and perceived gender is strongly effected by physical traits. The practice of gender therefore naturally expands to include modification of physical traits. Meanwhile, the social movements to change how gender is constructed can include pushing to decrease or change the gendered association of physical traits - although this does not seem to consistently be a priority.

Gender roles are related to the hypothetical ability to bear children, but more obliquely than is often claimed. It is popular to say that the types of work considered feminine derive from things it is possible to do while pregnant or tending small children. However, research on the broader span of human history does not hold this up. It may be true of the cultures that gave immediate rise to the colonial gender roles we are familiar with - secondary to the fact that childcare was designated as women's work. (Which it does not have to be, even a nursing infant doesn't need to be with the person who feeds it 24 hours a day.) More directly, gender roles have been influenced by structures of social control aiming for reproductive control. In the direct precursors of colonial society, attempts to track paternal lineage led to extreme degrees of social control over women, which we still see reflected in normative gender today. Many struggles for women's liberation have attempted to push back these forms of social control. It is my firm opinion that any attempt to re-emphasize childbearing as a touchstone of womanhood is frankly sick. We are at a time where solidarity in struggle for gender liberation, and for reproductive rights, is crucial. We need to cast off shackles of control in both fights. Trying to tie childbearing back to womanhood hobbles both fights and demeans us all.

Gender is baked deeply enough into our culture that it is unlikely to ever go away. Many people feel strongly about the practice of gender, in one way or another, and would not want it to. However we have the power to change how gender is structured and enforced. We can push open the doors of what is allowable, and reduce the pain of social punishment and isolation. We can dismantle another of the tools of colonial hedgemony and social control. We can change the culture!

[peaches2217]

I’m gonna need some encouragement.

I’m telling my dad tonight that I’m trans.