#he was actively trying to kill bobby and athena....

[mikhailoism]

kinda sad to me that there's no truck bombing aus where bobby was on the truck and he's the one who gets crushed........

[mvltisstuff]

solitude - e.b

summary: the only people who hear hen and chimney out about jonah are y/n and buck, but little do they know the hell it’ll rain down on them.

evan buckley x reader

a/n: ok but like imagine all four of them working tgt bc this storyline was actually rly good… this is literally just buck, y/n, hen and chim acting like the mystery gang for a day!! 3.4k wc 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

“claudette and perry both had no other symptoms before full cardiac arrest,” hen starts, scanning over the patient charts left by the new paramedic. “he’s administered nebulized albuteral during transport.”

“hen, look,” chimney points to the computer screen. “he’s been at four different locations, chicago, miami, dallas, and denver. now he’s hitting up LA.”

the station sirens buzz in their ears, alerting that they could be discovered any second. hen shoves the files into her jacket as chimney logs out, and they shuffle out quickly attempting to go unnoticed. hen looked for any details in the files that she could, trying to confide in karen.

clearly, there was a pattern of extreme suspicious in jonah’s patient files. these patients had no reason to be going into arrest when they were not showing previous symptoms. hen was the best paramedic there, in medical school. she just hoped that everyone would see the obvious wrongdoings. it was painfully evident that he was a dangerous person to be placed in the system.

hen and chimney banged repeatedly on buck and y/n’s apartment, knowing that they’d be the ones to believe them. y/n’s taken note of jonah’s behaviors, but she tried not to think anything of them, just as magical saves.

“hi?” buck says, answering the door. “are you two ok?”

“we need to talk to you and y/n,” hen tells him, inviting chimney and herself in. both y/n and buck hadn’t expected visitors, so they were clearly not dressed in presentable clothing.

“hey, hen, chim,” y/n comes down the stairs. “what’s going on?”

“you two need to look at these,” hen slaps the folders down onto their kitchen counter. buck takes one as y/n reads the other.

“what’s wrong with them? aren’t these just patient files?”

“and why are they all jonahs?”

“buck, you saw claudette before she died.”

“y-yeah, i did. she was fine, though. there was probably something underlying the inhalation,” buck grows more confused at the paperwork and the accusations from his friends.

“look,” chim points. “he’s administering drugs that have nothing to do with patient conditions.”

“meaning… he had no reason to push any meds at all,” buck speaks slowly, starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“protocol dictates that the only treatment used in that situation is respiratory, and we looked at claudette’s autopsy report. there were incredibly high amounts of potassium in her system that would’ve been present in the tests we did on scene,” hen informs the group in front of her.

“so is he some murderer paramedic?” y/n asks, looking up from the file. “i believe you, but how do we even get this to question? do we bring it to bobby?”

“i don’t know where we go from here,” hen starts. “but he needs to be out of the LAFD before he purposely kills someone else.”

buck, y/n, henrietta, and chimney had all piled over to athena’s house. they presented the activity of greenway to bobby, explaining that he has documented his cynical moves.

“i’m not approving any of your suspicions, but we have to be careful with these accusations against him getting out,” bobby tells his workers.

“listen, cap,” chim says. “he’s got a history of this. we can’t confirm what was in that syringe, but it sent claudette collins into cardiac arrest.”

“he’s been bouncing around to different cities the last few years, way too many to be looked passed.”

“so he’s just killing people for mercy?” athena asks, holding bobby’s hand and intently reading over the patient files.

“it’s way more complicated than that. when jonah was a kid, he played the hero. he’s reliving that by trying to play god and bring them back,” y/n adds, standing beside her boyfriend. buck doesn’t want to overthink this, but he’s so conflicted about the whole situation. he knows bringing up something like this is incredibly risky when dealing with a person like jonah. if things were to go awry, then he’d feel like it was his fault for not believing it.

“we tried getting news footage, but it’d be more suspicious that way,” buck tells bobby.

the group was sent away to leave bobby and athena to their own investigation, letting them work this out on their own. in the driveway, they stood by the two cars they used to come here.

“come back to my house,” hen suggests. “we can look some stuff up there on jonah and pick out any details we can get.”

“i can grab my laptop that has the proper software on it. it’s back at my place, though, i’d have to grab it,” chim states.

“ok, guys,” buck begins. “don’t you think we might just have to leave this alone? there’s only so much we can do with this.”

“who else can deal with this, though? we have the resources and the upper hand with this, buck,” hen replies back at his worries.

“look, buck,” y/n places a reassuring hand on his arm. “i’ll go with chim to get his computer, and then we’ll be over. just try and hear her out some more because this is something way deeper than what we might think.”

buck agrees, allowing himself to listen to hens convincing. she rants on about more details, slowly but surely opening up his mind to the possibility. as she portrays her concerns to him passionately, her sentence is brought to a halt when her phone rings through her car’s speaker. the unknown number is thoughtless to henrietta as she presses the green button. “hello?”

“i heard you’ve been asking people about me,” the cold, dark voice echos through the car, causing buck and her to tense up.

“jonah?” buck whispers, to not let him hear.

“got the weirdest call, something about an investigation about that dispatcher. did you four file a complaint against me?”

“jonah, i don’t know what you think is going on, but-“

“i think that you never gave me a chance. to show you what i’m capable of,” he speaks eerily into the phone, making bucks eyes widen. “so i’m gonna do that now. i’m going to show you, henrietta and evan.”

the phone beeps, signaling the hang up from the other end. “what was that?” buck panics. “hen, what is he showing us?”

“he said us four, right? he’s gonna show us four?”

“so are we next?”

“next? who’s first?”

buck heart drops to the floor, frantically reaching for his phone and dialing y/n’s number. his shaky hands slowed it down, but the prolonged ringing was painful to hear. if jonah was going to show them what he can do, he’s going to go for that group first. as evil of a man as he is, he’s amazingly smart. he’s not going to begin with buck and hen, he’s starting with y/n and chimney before going down the line. the sweet sound of y/n’s voicemail goes into bucks ears, his heart thumping against his chest. “hen, go to chimneys apartment. now!” he yells, and she presses on the gas, redirecting the two of them in his direction.

buck called y/n repeatedly, completely petrified of losing the one person he’s loved more than anything. he would be so defeated if she was hurt because of his disbelief. he called chimney, maddie, karen, and anyone who might be able to reach them. unfortunately, no one had good answers for them.

he sprinted up the stairs of the building, hen rushing behind him. the door was unlocked, and the room had an unfamiliar feel to it. the orange lighting and silence was strange to the two, searching for her best friend and his girlfriend. “chim?” hen shouts out. she gives buck an unsure look, one containing an expression of fear and confusing all mixed into one.

before buck can even turn, the thick footsteps behind him rush up. he looks at hen, ready to pounce and run out, but the man is too quick on his feet. buck is injected with a needle right where his shoulder and neck meet, twinning with hens own needle in her skin. the syringes are pushed down, forcing an unnecessary liquid into their bodies.

they recognize the feeling all too well. the fading of their hearing turning into ringing. the scene in front of them disintegrating into black dots. their bodies became heavier and heavier, before turning light again as they thumped to the ground below.

the two awoke at the same time, feeling like they were suffering with sleep paralysis. their arms were restrained behind their back and their eyes were dry and tired. their ankles were connected to the legs of the chairs, but the sight in front of them was worse than any demon that could haunt them.

jonah towered over chimney on the table, pushing more probable toxic fluids into his veins. hens heart was beating obnoxiously fast, but she couldn’t tell if it was from the drugs or from the scene that was unfolding. chimney lay shirtless and almost lifeless on the table with alarmingly slow beeping coming from the portable machine.

y/n was laying across from him in the opposite direction, the two being smushed together. she had matching IV’s in her arm and patches on her chest, the only remaining article was her bra. buck could swear he was screaming, but nothing was coming out. his face was still, but his eyes were full of tears and panic at seeing y/n unconscious. everything was completely out of his control. he glanced over at hen, complete terror in her eyes while trying to calm jonah.

the room they were placed in was unfamiliar, almost completely darkened beside the light above his two victims. or in jonah’s mind, his patients. jonah craved validation from people around him, but also from himself. he remains hungry for the feeling he had the day he saved his bus driver. he was a hero, and he had to make sure everyone knew it.

as soon as the flatline ricocheted in the room, jonah scooped up the paddles and shocked the two until the beeping commenced again. “look who decided to join us,” jonah teases. “i was too generous with the propofol, you two were out longer than i expected!”

“why are you doing this, jonah?” hen begs to know the answer. bucks dying just to give him a piece of his mind, but hen has regained more of her strength.

“you know, you can get anything on the internet these days, like medical equipment, drugs. the real answer is that you gave me no choice, henrietta. snooping around and checking up on me when we are supposed to be on the same team.”

“we are not, on the same team,” hen mumbles. “we don’t put our patients in danger.”

jonah moves over to y/n. “one sec,” he says while pushing another dose of adenosine.

“no,” buck manages to push out.

“jonah, please, you’re stopping her heart,” hen cries out.

“don’t worry, nothing a little epinephrine can’t fix, right?” he nodes with a ring of excitement in his voice. an maniacal, twisted voice. as soon as his hands move to the paddles next to him, buck frantically shuffles in his chair. he places them to her chest, her body flailing up before restoring a normal heart rhythm. “woo!” jonah screams. “nothing like it, huh? the rush of watching someone walk right up the deaths door and snatching them right back. it’s like being god.”

“we are not god,” buck replies to him, regaining some of his fight. “i swear to god, let them go right now-“

“alright, alright,” jonah says. he grabs the needles and bottles while pouring the drug into it. he injects it into both y/n and chimneys skin.

“jonah, please don’t do this, jonah!” hen yells.

“oh, my bad, i thought you wanted me to let them go…” he tells them, slyly.

“you son of a bitch, you lay another hand on her an-“

“and you’ll what? you can’t do anything, buckley,” jonah steps closer to the restrained people. “you both need a partner like me. someone more your speed.”

hens eyes land on the movement on one of the tables. chimney twitches and his eyes are squinting from weakness in his brain. he’s playing around with the machine while getting a good grip on one of the electric shock paddles. “you are not my speed. you’re sloppy, and even if i wanted to commit these heinous crimes, you think i’d let myself get caught?” hen starts to mock the man in front of her while trying to distract him to give chimney time. bucks eyes have never separated from y/n, his soft gaze was planted on her aching body, lacking life in all forms.

“you might’ve been a hero once, jonah,” buck begins to play along with the distraction act, knowing they can’t take anymore of the brunt of it than y/n and chimney have. “but now, well you’re nothing but a fucking murderer,” buck hisses out at him. as jonah begins to move over, hen gives chimney a convincing look as he presses a button on the vital machine.

“no, i’m not,” jonah laughs sarcastically.

“then why is chimney not breathing?” buck spits at him as jonah whips around, looking at the flatlining man on the table. he runs around, and chimney silently hypes himself up to act. it’s now or never, it’s live or die, and it’s jonah’s turn to taste his own medicine.

chimney shoves the paddle into jonah, causing him to shiver and collapse on the floor in front of him. “chim!” hen gasps. “oh, my god. are you ok?” chimney grunts his way over and off the table, stumbling to the ground while he crawls over to hen. he starts pulling at the ropes around her feet, letting them go as she is able to maneuver her hands out of the ropes. she wobbles over to buck, who is then released and limps over to his girlfriend.

“y/n? hey, baby, c’mon wake up,” he shakes her in a desperate attempt to bring her senses back and wake her from this nightmare. when he eyes finally begin to slowly open, he releases a heavy breath.

“buck, please tell me she’s ok!” hen says, comforting chimneys panting self.

“she’ll be ok,” he leans down, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“b-buck,”

“hey, hey, it’s ok, we’re all ok.”

the red and blue lights are hard to miss behind them, reflecting in the windows and onto the walls. they hear the ruckus of the officers clattering their way into the room, placing chimney and y/n on a stretcher as buck and hen follow out. jonah is summoned away to the new reality of the back of a police car. buck finally sees another familiar face, running over to bobby as he pulls him into a strong hug. bobby’s anger is fueling in his system, not being able to control himself before his fist is connected with jonah’s face.

“hey, cap,” chimney says, clearly on some new type of drug that will actually help him. “nice punch.”

“i am so sorry, you guys. im just so happy you’re ok,” bobby rants out in pure relief at his team. hen climbed into chimneys ambulance, as buck stood in complete denial about the situation. “hey, buck.”

“she died, bobby,” buck says, glaring into the distance. “her heart stopped and now she’s pumped up with all this stuff and i couldn’t save her and he almost murdered her-“

“listen, kid,” bobby grabs bucks shoulders, trying to ground him. “she’s ok, what she needs now is you next to her. we got him, he’s going away for the rest of his life. now go get checked out, please.”

buck releases yet another exhale as a matching teardrop falls down his cheek. buck walks off, grabbing onto y/n’s hand as she’s lifted into her own ambulance. he still looks at his girlfriend in complete disbelief that she’s alive, and that he is too.

the hospital air was dry and they knew it like a best friend. the smell, the feeling, the white lights that make you think you’ve died when you wake up. they’ve walked in and out of so many hospitals, almost having no fear that they’ll never come out. until buck sees y/n in the bed is the first time he’s completely shaking in the one next to her.

“c’mon, doc,” chimney complains. “i’m fine, i don’t need to stay here.”

“it’s good that you feel good, but it’s just overnight. we want to keep an eye on you and y/n to make sure nothing changes in your blood levels,” the doctor explains.

“it’s ok, chim. just listen to her because she’s right,” hen reassures him before starting her own complaint session.

“i’m glad you feel that way, because we’re keeping you too for further tests. you as well, evan. it’s to make sure he didn’t put anything else into you guys,” hen groans and looks at her three friends.

“we’re in for a hell of a night, y’all.”

chimney and y/n were placed in one room together, needing the same type of observation as hen and buck were having a slumber party in the other. they were watching whatever crappy reality shows they could find until their boredom got the best of them. hen and buck snuck out in their twinning gowns and IV lines and made their way to the room holding their favorite people inside. when they walked in, they said, “guys, we’re breaking out of this joint.”

“and how exactly do you plan to execute that?” chimney asks, slurping on an almost empty juice box. buck moves over to sit on y/n’s bed, caressing her hand as she smiles at him.

“you two almost did die,” hen says. “you know, i never really liked him.”

“not much of a fan myself,” chimney replies in his always lighthearted spirit.

“well some people thought i was crazy, but you guys were ready to go to battle with me. with no proof, you listened and were on board from the start.”

“um, i definitely was not on board from the start,” buck interjects.

“well look at us now buck! we’re stuck together for life,” hen smiles.

“hens always right, that’s the thing between us. she’s the genius and we were the comic relief,” chimney adds.

“you guys are way more than that. chim, you’re the best friend i’ve ever had. y/n and buck, i can’t imagine my life without you two. you’re like denny’s siblings at this point and i’m one hundred percent bringing this up at your wedding.”

“well, you know what they say about parents at weddings,” y/n hints. “they always pay for it.”

“ooh! got her there,” buck laughs and looks at hen. “you know i love you guys, you’re my family.” he lifts y/n’s hand up, landing a kiss on her knuckles.

“if we weren’t in a hospital room right now, i’d say that was quite romantic, buck. i’m proud of you,” chimney pokes fun at the couple on the other side of him before looking back at hen. “we did a great job raising them, don’t you think?”

“i’m just really happy you’re ok. i cant do this without you, y/n. you’re my whole life,” buck speaks softly to his girl, looking deep into her loving eyes.

“you’ll never have to do anything without me,” y/n says. “you’re stuck with me, love.”

[lovecolibri]

Am I a loser for fearing that this will be like BT 1.0 in that it is dragged out and remains stale and chemistry-less and harmful to Buck's character (for being with a not good person and not caring about said person's bad deeds) and the twist will be that it doesn't end 😭 Don't hate me for being negative...I was not negative until today, seeing that gremlin in the promotions and Tim showing favoritism to anti-Buddies yet again on FB.

And it's so funny that all my concern stems from social media activity and nothing about what I'm seeing on the show itself. Because the show has shown he is a non-entity - giving him and Buck no development, HIM no development, no evolution, no appeal, since last season. Yet maybe the writing and producing IS just that bad now.

Sorry to be a bit of a pessimist. I just feel like the vibe shifted dramatically over the past day and I'm in my feelings, I guess.

First of all, you're not a loser! There is a long history of TV shows NOT following through on things for fans of a popular fandom ship, including this one, back ins season 4, leading to that godawful BT 1.0 mess in the first place!

There is a lot of reasons this gets compared to the OG BT, because the show seems to be giving them no development and he's so clearly WRONG for Buck and seems to enjoy talking down to him and watching him deflate a little each time, and also it makes Buck look kinda shitty for dating someone who purposefully hurt, and delighted in hurting people Buck loves. I have said multiple times I wasn't ever worried about tay kay as a LI in s4 because she called him "needy" in that nasty voice on the heels of the audience seeing how absolutely shit his parents were and where all those issues came from, so I was sure that was the narrative telling us she wasn't going to work out. Only to get slapped in the face with an entire fucking season of Buck looking miserable with her, which was never addressed, him trying to talk about their issues and the firefam lecturing HIM about HIS failings instead of ever being allowed to talk about how they felt about her given their past (you can't tell me back in s4 Athena would EVER willingly let that woman in her and Bobby's home, much less feed her), and then watch her nearly get Chim and Hen killed and STILL get a fucking "amicable" breakup of the "oh no one was really to blame, it just didn't work out" variety. So like. Yeah, sometimes the writing is just That Bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

What I will say about all of that though, is we now have information we didn't back in s4. Information like, we weren't seeing things and there WAS a set up planned, and discussed with Oliver (at least, likely Ryan too since the shooting was Like That and what the fuck other bi realization was Buck gonna have, or gay realization was Eddie gonna have after his breakup with Ana was Like That), but the network forced the changes. Tim fucked off to go smash other dolls together (and lost his mind a little bit over on LS, probably because he leveraged that shit into getting to do whatever he wanted, plus the whole RL effect), and the story got changed and, as Tim pointed out, it made the show markedly worse. I'm not putting all my faith and trust in a network, but I will say ABC knows what kind of accolades, awards, and hype this kind of story will bring them and that is something I DO trust.

8x01 might be fluke like the handful of watchable episodes in s5-6, but it truly felt like the Buck we know and love was back, the focus was on the core four and on the emergencies, there was *heart* in the emergency, we got dispatch properly involved, and even the Athena stuff took a turn for a more rescue-focused adventure than the Con-Air prison transport plane mishap I was expecting. The bees sounded ridiculous and like they could be one emergency, like freeway shark my beloved, or *maybe* hold a whole episode, but I was NOT expecting much for a disaster opening and was fully prepared for s5 levels of zoo animals promotion vs actual 3 episodes of creeper being creepy cop storyline. But they actually...kinda pulled it off?? It's no tsunami or earthquake by a LONG shot, and I'm still reserving judgment until the arc is over (I enjoyed the cruise ship disaster but it needed more core four on sight helping with rescues which make it drag a little being so separate from everything else), but it felt like a season 2 or 3 episode at heart!

All this to say, *EYE*, notorious salt gremlin and hater (because trying for low expectations is what works for me!), am feeling more hopeful about the show as a whole than I have in awhile. And I'm going to hold your hand so gently when I give this advice, you can take it or not (for some people, needing to know everything is what works for them, so you do you!), but do not listen to that middle-aged white man and what he does on facebook. Or anywhere. Do not listen to that man! He is a shit-stirrer, and he is a liar! They all are in interviews! Him and Oliver both said "hardly any time skip" and then they did the exact same 3 month time skip they have ALWAYS done between the spring season ending and the fall premier! He lies! He interacts with shit he probably doesn't even read, just promotes his show! He does not care about upsetting us because people shouting over each other about the show just reads to him, and the people above him to let him do things, as the show having enough impact to be talked about! I personally have good feelings because he likes to get his way and ABC gave him something in 4 episodes he'd been trying to do since s4. And they originally green-lit it being another character so it feels like there were plans for both and timing just got switched.

DO NOT LET THAT MAN STEAL YOUR JOY!

I'm not going to tell you that of course it's all going to work out and be perfect and everything we wanted, but I WILL say, we all saw how fucking miserable Oliver was in s5 and 6, how checked out and disengaged he was (he was SO CLOSE and they TOOK IT from him! Fuck FOX forever!), and we saw how he was/is in interviews with or about that man, vs how happy and excited he was/is when talking about Ryan/Eddie/Buddie right now, how much he's engaging and sharing, and WHAT he is sharing. We saw the shift from filming episodes 5-6 to the back half of s7 for both him and Ryan. It's very loud, and while some kinda similar vibes have come through before, we have knowledge now we didn't before about why we kept getting those vibes and then having them pulled back. We know WHO was standing in the way and it wasn't Tim and it sure as fuck wasn't Oliver or Ryan, and that doesn't appear to be an issue anymore. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hope my rambling incoherence was helpful, Nonnie!

[smallandalmosthonest]

i think part of why last night’s ep felt so weird is because it, to me at least, felt like it came way too late in the season.

excluding the breakup storyline*, and the pregnancy reveal**, these just felt like earlier beats:

athena, flash rob, and the probie(s) had this happened in like, the fourth episode, it would make a lot of sense that athena was injured (as she was JUST in a plane crash), and the seeds of 'flash rob' as a villain could have been planted early, giving athena an adversary. she could have spent half the season showing up in the aftermath of these mass robberies, frustrated that she's being outpaced by some twitch streaming jackass kid! this could have been compounded by the introduction of sparky, who athena's gut says not to trust but who, on paper, is a good kid. imagine if we had weeks of time to see athena "lose" to flash rob while building some degree of trust/warring with her instincts about sparky. think of how satisfying the sting would have been if we'd been waiting for athena to finally be one step ahead of flashy robert! think of how much more impactful sparky shooting an innocent woman in front of her child would be if we'd spent weeks with that character, and had seen athena trying to trust him! this also makes athena's decision to take on more probies a lot weightier: if athena was essentially training/mentoring this kid for months, how does she feel that he nearly killed someone because he lost his temper? then after the hiatus we could explore tonal shifts with athena having a string of new probies, or whatever. but do you see what i mean about the introduction of these things coming the ep before the 8a finale being... a bit late?

brad and gerrard show of hands, does anyone still give a fuck about these two? having gerrard take the hotshots job tied things up in a neat little bow and allowed us to solidly move on from these characters. this felt like a bizarre time to bring them back. we just found out maddie and chimney are accidentally pregnant again! bucktommy just broke up! eddie just shaved his moustache! hen's son nearly died and she only recently got her daughter back! why are we talking about these unlikable old white guys?! anyway. i think they should not have been revisited at all, except maybe to come back lola and norman style, way down the line, so the audience looks back like "oh yeah, those two... i'd almost forgotten about them!" BUT we live in an unjust world. so in that case, i think the issue with brad and gerrard is that they're too tonally different from the rest of the show. gerrard made sense in the begins episodes, when he was a pigheaded bigot representative of the old boys club institution and a foil to the new 118 that we know and love, and brad made sense in the three-part opening because he was a silly one-off character meant to add levity -- except we had levity because gerrard was written and played as a cartoon evil boss instead of a realistically awful person. so now 911 has two old white dudes who are at best good for a chuckle and at worst actively evil. and now gerrard is crying bc he loves his tv land job so much and brad is using start power and money to talk the brass into sanctioning his stalking of bobby nash. and we haven't seen these characters in ages and frankly, we don't care about them. my opinion is that we either need Way Less (end it with that shot of gerrard sipping his latte with his feet up or w/e) or, tragically, Way More. having them be a consistent problem that plagues the 118 would at least allow time for these characters to settle into a tone that sits well within the rest of the show.

it'll be interesting to see how this all pans out, pacing-wise, when we can look at this season in its totality next summer, and when rewatching in one fell swoop without a week between each episode. but at this moment, i don't think i'm alone in thinking that episode was just... skippable? isolated from the events that immediately preceded it? imo 8x07 added indelibly to the current state of s8 episodes feeling siloed within themselves with quick storylines that are introduced and then wrapped up within forty-some minutes.

*this had to happen a) after bucktommy had been together for a respectable amount of time onscreen and b) immediately after the breakup to prevent buck from looking like a crazy person, so i think this was perfectly place in the timeline

**had no material impact on the story thus far, we didn’t even see buck or chim struggling to keep it a secret. we didn’t even see chimney around the firefam, is that his strategy so he doesn’t spill the beans?? to just hide in the bunk room or something??? rip chimney han you would have loved playing keep away with buck’s phone and watching tmz videos of Bobby threatening to beat up a guy

[lemotmo]

Episode 7x10 - some thoughts and observations

All right, I’ve just seen episode 7x10. Here are some of my thoughts about it:

Let me just start with this:

It was an okay episode, but it didn’t feel like a finale at all. I have to admit that I expected to be blown away by the Bobby, Hen and Eddie storylines. I expected to be emotionally devastated by their plight, but that never happened. The episode is over now and I’m just ‘meh’ about it. I’m going to say it… it felt just as lackluster as the season 6 finale. In fact, there were some parts of the season 6 finale I liked better than this one. And that is saying a lot.

Here are some of my observations:

1. Bobby’s storyline was strange. He had a major cardiac arrest and 3 days later he just wakes up as if nothing had happened. Even weirder, a day later he is just walking around his burnt out house as if nothing had happened? He seemed healthier than before. I know it’s only a show, but they couldn’t have just shown us him recovering in hospital?

2. What was Athena doing playing vigilante? How is it that she is still on the police force? She just went over to a man’s house and threatened to kill him because she ‘suspected’ he tried to kill her husband. She should be under investigation or something. But because she saved Amir, it’s all okay suddenly?

3. I loved Eddie’s storyline the most. I actually didn’t mind his parents at all. I’m glad they stepped in. Both Eddie and Chris need time. I expected something like that was going to happen. They were kind about it and I do believe them when they said that Chris asked to come stay with them for a while.

The scenes between Buck and Eddie in the beginning and the scenes between Buck and Chris, Eddie and Chris at the end were the very best of the episode. These scenes made me feel ‘something real’. I cried so hard when Chris left. Give Ryan all the awards please!

The Buddie of it all was beautiful. I love how Buck is always there for Eddie and how he gets him through and through. The fact that he was there when Chris left was incredible. I expect to see more of their deep connection in season 8.

I think season 8 will be perfect for Buddie’s bond to grow even deeper. Eddie will be alone, he’ll feel isolated, but Buck will certainly be there for him. It was all there in that last scene between Buck and Eddie at the firehouse. The way Buck is always looking at Eddie, trying to see how he is feeling, trying to be there for him. I love this connection they have. It feels real and true.

4. Which leads me to that very strange Buck and Tommy scene. The lack of chemistry is still there, that really hasn't changed. This was supposed to be a cute date, but there is 'nothing' there. Lou’s acting is just not ‘it’. I’m sorry to the people who like him, but he simply isn’t a very good actor. Oliver did what he could to save that scene, but ultimately it didn't convince me and I highly doubt this will convince the general audience.

It's one of those scenes that just gets lost in between all the other scenes, because it doesn't have substance and it was edited in at the wrong moment during the episode. It's easily forgotten. It doesn't do anything to actively make me care or even 'want' to care about this relationship. I think some part of this is intentional though. They want to make us feel uneasy about this relationship, without making it too obvious why.

We saw Buck looking at Tommy and I could see how he still has that crush on him. He still can see nothing wrong with Tommy. It's the early phase of a relationship where everything the other person does is so great, until you get to know them ever better. I do expect his view on Tommy to change in season 8.

They talked about Bobby as Buck’s father figure and Tommy’s absent father, which was okay I guess. When Tommy mentioned Gerrard and how he influenced him in a bad way, I saw it coming from a mile away that Gerrard was going to be back at the end of the episode. That line was there to foreshadow that event. Also, they were trying to make Tommy a bit more sympathetic maybe? I don’t know, it kinda fell flat for me.

But then… what the hell was that last line? Were they really hinting at some kind of daddy kink? I mean, what? At this point the show is playing into the weird almost sexual obsession some people have with Tommy/Lou and Tommy and Buck’s relationship. They have kissed twice and don’t even hold hands, but Tommy talks about daddy kinks?

Thank God it is still obvious that this relationship isn’t going to last and that Tommy is very much ‘plot devicing’. I couldn't handle any more wooden interactions like this. Tommy is the older gay man who is going to teach Buck a thing or two, just like Oliver said in his interviews.

The show didn’t try to deepen the relationship emotionally, they just made it seem like a very sexual relationship. I’m starting to wonder if it will turn out that Buck’s heart will be broken by Tommy, because all Tommy’s really looking for is a sexual relationship. At this point he doesn’t seem to be interested in Buck on a more personal level. While Buck was lovingly gazing at him, he just sat there, not giving us anything. I don't know... Buck just seems more into it, that's all.

5. The Mara storyline was, again, so strange. Hen just walked into that group home? She keeps on breaking the rules. If she keeps on breaking the rules, she’ll never get Mara back. I don’t understand her reasoning.

And then Chim and Madney ending up fostering Mara? I mean, what? Becoming foster parents is a very lengthy process. You have to follow classes for this. They don’t just give kids willy-nilly to someone who asks for it. That would be so unprofessional and wrong. How on Earth was this allowed???

Don’t get me wrong, it’s sweet that they want to do this, but it not realistic at all. But, after all the previous points I made, I should probably give up on realism for this show. What a mess.

6. The ending scene was just another mindfuck! Bobby resigned, had his house burnt down, died and miraculously woke up again without any debilitating health conditions in two weeks??? And he just walked into the firehouse, in uniform, expecting to be acting captain again WITHOUT speaking to the Chief and telling him he had reconsidered? Did he think he could just walk in and be captain again without any repercussions?

In conclusion:

I’m sorry, but this episode was a mess, not really worthy of a season finale. Season 7 started out really good, but gradually started slipping in quality. The penultimate episode 7X09 was waaay better than 7x10.

Thank God for Eddie Diaz and his narrative. Without him I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to this hiatus. Eddie has really set himself up there as my favourite character. He already was, but this episode only confirms it even more. Next comes Buck. Oliver comes alive when he is acting with Ryan. Their chemistry is electrifying. So yes, I will live off and feed off those great Buddie scenes we got during hiatus and hope that Tim will pick up some of the slack in season 8. He will have more episodes to work with in 8, so he will have more time to unpack some storylines.

At this point Eddie, Chris and Buck are the only storyline I look forward to seeing more off in season 8. I’m wondering about the Buddie timeline and how they’re going to handle that. Because I’m still convinced we’re going there. Season 7 was too much on the nose with all the Eddie coming in between BT scenes. Something is cooking and I’m highly interested in seeing how it will all unfold.

I’m glad the hiatus is here though. I needed a break from the highs and lows this fandom brings along. It has been an exhausting couple of months.

All right guys, lay it on me! This is only my opinion. If you loved the episode, great! Make sure to let me know what it was you liked. If you share my opinion, then how? Are there any observations I missed?

I still love this show and I always will, don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. I'm looking forward to a hiatus filled with speculation, theorising and great fan fiction.

911 has some amazing episodes that really ‘deliver’, but this was just not one of them. We’ve been here before. It’s nothing new. Onwards to a better season 8!!!

[alchemistc]

your tags? 😚👌🏻 as always

i laughed so loudly at the neighborhood w/o an hoa 😂 and yeah I read and enjoy fics that have Margaret and Phillip actively trying to improve their relationship w Buck because he fucking deserves it deserves to have the people who should have raised him and should have loved him trying to do better. however i don't care what the show does it will never make me like or forgive them. The inside of my heart will remain a Buckley Parents Hate Space forever and always <3 and it's always fun to see all the other people who have a burning hatred for these fictional "parents"

Things I would like fanon to do to Marge and Phil bc I know TPTB are playing with a different storyline:

five minutes in a room with bobby nash. he only needed the one but i gave him five. there is no nuance to this bobby kills them both and calls up athena bc she'll definitely know how to hide their bodies

road trip with the elder diaz's. let's see who can out passive-aggressive the other

put em on the rack. stretch those motherfuckers out

ten (10) minutes in a new york bodega. cat included

a single scathing look from christopher diaz. they'd burst into flames

couples tandem-bike

teenage jee-yun asking them to do whatever the equivalent of a tiktok trend is when she's that age

buck takes them to pride. tommy buys them 'free (mom/dad) hugs' teeshirts just to watch marge shit her pants the first time a drag queen approaches her

chim gives phillip a 10mg gummy. oh shit that was a 50mg gummy

marge having to admit to her DAR friends that both of her children work *gasp* blue collar jobs

chinese water torture

chim and maddie take them to karaoke

caught in a jigsaw chamber

captive into a room with a progressive and a libertarian

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

FIC UPDATE: Why Not Take All of Me?

Hello! Happy Friday! Before I leave for a business trip tomorrow, please accept Chapter Four.

Summary:

Waiting for the right moment to talk things through, Buck teases Eddie.

Snippet:

Buck sends Eddie a drink and specifically has the server announce loudly to the table, “it’s from the guy who isn’t your husband.”

Which of course elicits zero questions that Eddie doesn’t at all��have to scramble to answer. He’s pretty sure he hears Athena lean over and whisper, “Lord help me,” to Bobby. So that’s fantastic. 

At one point, walking past Eddie’s table on his way to go talk to his parents, Buck hand brushes across Eddie’s shoulders. His thumb catches on the skin at the back of Eddie’s neck, just under the collar of his shirt. Eddie feels like someone has poured warm wax down his spine. 

Is Buck actively trying to fucking kill him? 

The answer, by the time they reach the speeches, is evidently yes. 

[itwoodbeprefect]

catching up!! watching 911 season 7 episode 1!! let's goooo

the first three minutes of this episode are like "athena watched a cruise ship disaster on tv and it affected her for life. here's a cruise ship disaster we're putting on your tv (hehehe)."

i briefly stop watching mayday/air crash investigation episodes, only to STILL see a plane crash into a house. let's get greg feith and his excellent colorful ties in here asap

okay not actually technically relevant but. i googled "greg feith ties" and found this:

and the answer is no!! shut up!!

anyway. bi buck and his bi saw! (i may be too early.)

ahhh, the face i've already seen a dozen times:

buck was missed. <3

god, i love chimney. presumably this honeymoon life plan of his isn't going to work out perfectly smoothly, but it's adorable.

athena's dress is great, but this is a prime Just Talk To Bobby Please sort of worry she's having. i mean, literally, talk to him, and she'll probably find they do have things to talk about.

THREE DATES A WEEK. yeah, there we go (affectionate), that's gonna be a mess. very sweet, very stupid!

a spreadshEET. i love themmm. still very stupid though!!

"except only in one case is there underlying sexual tension [sprays using phallic looking object at hip height]" is definitely a little insane, you were all correct. also EXTREMELY a conversation that feels like they knew what they were doing, considering i now know where this is going

eddie is a nester! he nests!

christopher doesn't get this from eddie, implying he gets it from buck somehow. feelingssss.

god. buck taking save the trees a bit too figuratively:

throwing the champagne glasses to the side while you're in the pool is i guess a cool carefree no fucks given thing to do in theory, but it's going to be so much less cool and carefree when you step in the glass while walking around barefoot later. i mean, on top of the waste of a perfectly good glass

i HAD seen the angsty mom-left-us (and eddie is listening in) part of the buck&chris conversation, but not the entire part before it with buck very earnestly trying to find his way through this parenting talk eddie enlisted him for, and it's great, i love it.

"i feel like you're trying to avoid me." < thank you for Saying The Thing, bobby.

lola is resting..... this man has blood behind his ear...... this is 911...... he killed lola?

"i don't think we're gonna see much of lola any time soon." oh, she's VERY dead. and/or locked in their cabin, which would potentially be good and dramatic when the ship starts sinking

he made a list!! love you, bobby

athena going full "norman peterson murdered his wife!!!" and bobby being very convinced that he didn't and athena is making things up to avoid him is a) finally a funny turn for this subplot and b) even funnier in light of bobby's behavior in the rear window episode.

"... o-or he murdered his wife." i love when this show does comedy and the timing is just right. thank you, peter krause

one of the things about this show that i still think was a terrible writing choice is the way they killed shannon, so i'm glad they're at least dealing with the impact all of the parental shuffling and absence had on christopher. it's great that they brought the actress back for that one moment.

"did i read the spreadsheet wrong?", reminding me of the spreadsheet, and "did something else happen on a call?", meaning maddie immediately knows what would have changed chimney's mind again - maddie and chimney are flawless, no notes.

THEY took lola!! so that's how the ship activity manager or whatever that guy with the weird vibe's job is will turn out to be evil and/or in evil cahoots with lola

dongle. i haven't heard that word in forever. didn't know they were being used for bitcoin

oh, 911. just a ship in a weather-related emergency isn't enough, we also need terrorists holding everyone hostage. at times i could almost start to think i was watching h50

[honeyflies05]

WEEWOO WEEWOOO [baby crying] MY LEG! [screaming]

“hello 9-1-1 what is your emergency?”

ANYWAYS WE’RE BAKC BABIEEEE!!

(shameless plus for my twitter @/honeyflies05 go follow me over there I’m more active)

HELLO!!!!!!

MADDIE NO

why is she being so nice??🤨

she’s dying

I’m calling it

WHO CAME

who are you??

“WHICH ONE” AHHHHH

this hurts!

EDDIE DO MORE DIAZ!!!!!

oh SHIII we’re starting right away okay!!

THIS GUY!

ALRIGHT COWBOY

MADDIE’S A NURSE! check on my bingo card

the camera’s shaking I’m calling that as wacky camera work

eVaN

GAVIN MCHUGH!!!!!

it’s THE shirt

they showed their attention to buck and not Daniel ooooooo

“I’m not a firefighter?” SCREAMING

he has a couch???🤨🤨🤨

THE TSUNAMI???? THE TSUNAMI!!!!

he’s a science teacher I’m calling it

if I see Doug-

WACKY CAMERA WORK! ITS GETTING SCRATCHED OFF

no,,,

PUNCH HIM

ugh ad breaks sUCK

i wanna know where the “THIS GUY” came from because it was SO FUNNY in the clip

i stopped working on my science project because of this show

down horrendously bad

seeing Doug: BOMBASTIC side eye

hello real world!!

“oh my god, Evan” SHUT UP!!!! SHUT!!! UP!!!!!

chim blames himself✅

buck looks so confused andichdhdhs

DANIEL HATES HIM TOO WOOOOOOO

if buck doesn’t punch him in this episode I will

all of these flashbacks to my favorite episodes WOOOHOOOOO

“since when do gurneys have fingers” EJDIFJDSAAAAAAAAAA

Daniel is so mid oh my godddd💀

“who are you” SCREAMING

this wacky camera work!! camera person

ARE WE GONNA LEARN

DAMMIT

coma dream! roll credits!!

“figure something out” I KNOW WHAT HE HAS TO DO!

buck don’t kill yourself

“you’re not married… you really should be!”

DID BOBBY DIE

NAUUURRRRRR

IS THIS WHERE HE CODES????

CHIMNEY NOOOOO

where is Eddie

where is chris

where are my people

ATHENA!!

oh shi real world

of course bobby would blame himself

bobby nash and athena grant-nash are Buck’s parents

“he has to be” oh this is so ao3

HEN!!!!

respiratory failure! woohoo

THE MUSIC

ECMO

aLBERT!!!!

bobby with the rosary😭😭😭😭😭😭

chim judging the buckley’s yayyyyy

EDDIE!!!!

NOT THE PLANE CRASH

“the crazy just sucks you in!”

EDDIE DIAZ!!!!

….chris….

NAUUURRR

NOT THE DIAZ PARENTS

cHRIS

this is our first Carla appearance in a while

“can he hear me” THAT MAKES ME WANNA CRY

“YOURE GONNA BE OKAY” IM GONNA SOB

“you have to come back” I understand why Aisha cried

hen figuring out the coma dream >>>

BOBBY!!

the ambulance still being there😭😭

damn doesn’t the 118 have other patients???

MAY SAYING BUCK IS BOBBY’S SON IM GONNA CRY

buck being so stubborn that may says he’s gonna be okay💀

Buckley parents make me mad

the plane!!!

WHO IS THAT RUNNING

running in nightmares be like:

,,,Bobby??

I’m actually so confused

IF MY SISTER don’t SHUT UP IM TRYING TO WATCH A SHOW

please HIS HOSPITAL ROOM???

“ooo I busted out the rosary must be serious!” I AM SO UNSERIOUS RN

yeah ur parents are nice to you but your entire life is messed up

IM ABOUT TO THROW MY PHONE SHUT UP MY SISTER!!!!!

if I miss smth it’s because of her loud ass mouth

how do we only have 20 minutes left so much needs to happen

we only got started!!!

i need to see Eddie break down

bobby and athena are so Buck’s parents

FULL NAME ATHENA IS MAD

athena will get this kid to wake up by sheer WILL AND DETERMINATION U GO MOTHER

#angelabassetdeservedtheoscar

HIM BEING ABLE TO HEAR ATHENA’S VOICE IM GONNA CRY

“I fixed you!” WHAT IF I COMMIT DIE RN

BUCK COLLAPSING IN THE TSUNAMI EPISODE SKDICHXHZHAAAAA

“so basically you were buck!” IM CRYING

IS THIS FIX YOU BY COLDPLAY????

IT IS.

“boy am I gonna feel guilty about that one” WHAT IF I CRY

“where do you think you’re going??!!”

“home.” I AM SO!!!

if they get Eddie to try to keep him by saying “I love you” you will never hear from me again

THE CUTOFF OF FIX YOU BY COLDPLAY SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i have an unreal attachment to that song yall have nO IDEA

where!! is!! eddie!!

i need Eddie to give me something to break down about

THEYRE PULLING THE PLUG???

if they really were Bobby would be there

DANIEL BLAMING HIM?? JESUS

EVAN BREATHE EVAN

buck in scrubs,,,,

FIX YOU COMING BACK!!!!

HEY THE HATCHET!!

THE BREATH

YEAAAAAAAAA

TO FIX YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY DIDNT SHOW US HIM WAKING UP!???

he stays with Eddie!!

CHRIS!!!

“I never made it inside the classroom… which kinda tracks” WHAT IF I CRY

hen being exactly the same >>>>

chim having his emotional moment >>

“let’s get you set up on the couch!” AAAAAAAAAAAAA

i don’t like the Buckley parents being so insufferable

OOOO BOBBY CENTRIC EPISODE NEXT MONDAY???

farmer wants a wife YEEHAWWW🤠

[favefandomimagines]

I Bought A Ring (e.b.)

Summary: Abby’s back and Buck doesn’t know how to handle the news. And neither do you. 

AN: i’m still PISSED that abby came back even if only for an episode, my poor buck was so hurt ): this was something i had deep in my drafts and now that buck is blowing up it seemed like a good time to post it!

there is a buck fic similar to this and i just wanna say that i did not copy or steal the idea. i’ve had this in my drafts for months since season 3 ended so no one stole anyone’s idea! if you wanna check out their fic their username is @lotsoflovefromlea and the fic is titled ‘Second Best’ it’s really really good

You didn’t think you’d have to face the day when Buck’s past came back to haunt him. You were hoping it would stay in the past and you would be his future. But life has a funny way of putting us to the test. 

After the train crash, and Buck saw Abby again, he had been acting distant. Distant enough for you to notice that something was wrong. It wasn’t hard to notice, especially when the two of you live together. 

He would rarely talk when you had the same shift at the 118, there was no conversation during dinner and he’d come to bed long after you had already fallen asleep. 

It had gotten to the point where you didn’t even remember the last time he kissed you or touched you. And you had enough of the maltreatment. 

You exited the shower and saw him standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. You walked down the stairs and stood across from him, the tension between the two of you painfully obvious. 

“What’s been going on with you?” You asked, breaking the ice. “What do you mean?” He asked, not meeting your gaze. “Seriously? Buck, you’ve been acting like I killed your dog for three weeks since the train crash. What the hell is going on?” You explained. 

Buck sighed before looking up at you. He knew he couldn’t keep secrets from you. Including ones that could possibly change your relationship. 

“Abby reached out to me. She wanted to meet up to talk.” He said. Buck could tell by the way your right eyebrow was raised and your eyes narrowed that you were not happy. “Really? And you went?” You asked. “Yeah.” Buck answered quietly. 

You laughed bitterly before walking around the counter back towards the stairs. “God, you just can’t seem to let her go, can you?” You started. “It’s been, what? Two years? Two years since she left you for her ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ experience and got engaged? And who was the one who never left your side? Me. It was me, Evan and even now, you can’t seem to realize how terrible she was to you. Face it, you were her midlife crisis and you fell in love with her and never fell back out. All while making me fall in love with you.” You finished. 

Sure you were a tad bit cruel, but it was what he needed to hear. No one wanting to be the one who had to pop his perfect bubble when it came to Abby. 

“I stayed with you when you were suing the department for christ sake! And I can’t do it anymore, Evan.” You added. There it was again. His dreaded first name. The name you never used unless you were beyond angry with him. And he hated hearing it come from your lips. “Y/N, what do you mean?” He asked. 

Fear was coursing through his body as he waited for you to finally leave him. After everything he put you through, Abby was the last straw. 

“I mean, maybe we should take a break. Until you figure out what it is you really want.” You answered. It wasn’t something you wanted nor did you think it would ever happen. “No. No, no, Y/N, don’t do this.” He begged, walking towards you. “I have too. Since she came back, this relationship has been one sided and I don’t deserve that.” You said. 

“Please, Y/N, I love you.” Buck told you. “Do you? Because you have a funny way of showing it.” You replied. You swiftly grabbed your keys and your purse and made a path towards the exit. “So this is it? You’re breaking up with me?” Buck asked, causing you to stop. 

“I don’t want to. But you seem to have unresolved feelings for Abby and you can’t claim to love one person wholeheartedly when you clearly don’t. Figure it out, Buck. But remember who was here when no one else was.” You answered before leaving the house. 

You didn’t know where else to go after you left. So you decided to go to Bobby and Athena’s. Bobby was like a father to you when you joined the 118 and you trusted him more than you trusted most people. 

After trying to straighten yourself up and wipe the tears from your face, you got out of the car and headed to the front door. You knocked a couple of times and waited for the door to open. 

When it did, Athena’s face softened when she saw you and instantly knew something was wrong. “Y/N? What’s wrong? What happened?” She asked, ushering you inside. “I didn’t know where else to go.” You answered. 

Bobby, wondering who was at the door, turned the corner and saw you standing in the entryway. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked. “Buck and I got into a fight. He went to meet up with Abby and he didn’t tell meand I just, I just don’t understand why he won’t let her go. Am I not enough?” You explained. 

Athena shushed you and pulled you into a hug to comfort you. She knew Buck was stubborn but not so much that you felt you had to leave. Bobby was furious. He hated seeing you so upset and he was frustrated with the young man for making you think you weren’t enough for him. 

After a few minutes, Athena made up the guest bedroom for you and said you could stay as long as you needed. But you hoped it wouldn’t have to be for long. 

__

Bobby arrived at the station in search for Buck and found him sulking while Hen and Chimney were grilling him about his mood. “What’s wrong with you today?” Chimney asked. “Him and Y/N got in a fight last night and she walked out on him.” Bobby answered for him. 

Buck looked up at his captain with wide eyes, wondering how he knew about the prior events. “She stayed at mine and Athena’s last night.” He added. Buck let out a sigh of relief, mainly because he was worried sick about you. You didn’t answer a single one of his calls or texts and he didn’t know where you went off to. 

“Why did she walk out on you?” Hen asked. “Because I may have went to meet up with Abby the other day. And apparently I had been acting distant towards Y/N and she confronted me.” Buck explained. “Seriously? You still have feelings for Abby?” Hen asked. “No, Hen-” Buck tried to explain but was interrupted by his coworkers. 

“Y/N is the perfect girl for you and you’re throwing her away for someone who left you?” She continued. “Hen,” Buck started. “You’re stupid but not this stupid.” She said. “Hen! I don’t have feelings for Abby anymore. I wanted to give her a chance to explain why she left and to thank her. Because if she wouldn’t have left, I wouldn’t have met Y/N.” Buck interrupted. 

“And I,” He started before he stopped himself, not sure if he wanted to tell everyone his secret. “You what?” Eddie asked. Buck looked up at his friends before sighing. “I bought a ring.” He answered. “Wait, what?” Chimney asked. “I bought a ring. I was going to propose but then I got all in my head after Abby showed up. I thought Y/N would say no and she’d leave me just like Abby did.” Buck explained. 

The rest of the 118 crew was silent as they looked down at Buck. Hen sat down across from him before speaking. “That girl is head over heels in love with you, Buck. She has been since the first time she met you and the last thing she would do is leave you like Abby did. Though, because of Abby, she felt she had no choice.” She said. 

“I need to get her back. I didn’t even know what to do this morning without her.” Buck said. “When does she come in for her shift?” He asked Bobby. “She was supposed to be here by now. She left before me.” The man answered. 

Before anyone could form a theory about your whereabouts, the bell went off signaling they had a call. 

They soon arrived to the scene of a car accident, one car completely flipped upside down. 

The 118 stopped short, however, when they noticed who’s car was upside down. It was yours that was hit by a guy texting and driving and ran a red light. 

“Y/N?” Buck called, running to the driver side door. “Buck, you’re too close to this.” Bobby stopped him. “We’re all too close to this, Bobby.” Buck rebutted. Bobby looked at Athena and gestured for her to keep Buck away from the scene. “Keep him away from her.” He instructed his. wife. 

Eddie began trying to get the door off and Hen and Chimney noticed you were still conscious, struggling to get out and stay awake. 

“Y/N, can you hear me?” Hen asked. “Yeah. I-I can hear you.” You stammered. “I have a piece of shrapnel between the third and fourth intercostal space. Mild to severe concussion and around three broken ribs, and a possible pulmonary contusion.” You told them. 

Both EMTs were surprised that you could still diagnose and recognize your symptoms while having a concussion and actively bleeding. 

Once the door was off the car, Hen and Chimney set down the backboard and Eddie began cutting your seatbelt. 

“Where’s Buck?” You asked him. “Bobby won’t let him help. He’s too close to this one.” Eddie answered. “Aren’t you all though?” You joked. Eddie laughed dryly as the seatbelt was cut free. “Can you move?” He asked. 

You looked down at the piece of metal from the seat and back up at him. “You have to pull it out.” You told him. “Y/N,” Eddie started. “Eddie, you have to pull it out or I won’t be able to move. I have a concussion, I’m already bleeding and in about five minutes I’m going to pass out. I will slowly bleed out from the inside if I don’t move. Pull the damn thing out.” You snapped. 

Eddie looked at you for a moment before glancing over at Buck, arguing with Athena. As Eddie pulled the piece of metal out of your side, Buck broke free of Athena’s grasp and fell to his friend’s side. 

“Y/N, baby, are you okay?” He asked frantically. “I’m going to pass out in a couple of seconds so I’m sorry, Buck. For what happened last night.” You spoke, your breathing becoming shallower. “Buck we gotta move her.” Eddie told him. 

Your eyes fell closed slowly and the heart rate monitor attached to you started beeping rapidly. “We gotta get her out now.” Hen instructed. Bobby pulled Buck back as he watched in horror while his friends began giving you CPR once they pulled you from the car.

Your heart beat thankfully went back to normal and Chimney and Hen loaded you into the back of the ambulance. 

Buck took the liberty of joining you considering he was your emergency contact, having no other family in LA.

Once the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Buck, Chimney and Hen were forced to stay at the ER bay, not being allowed to go with you. 

Buck watched as the doctors took you away and this quickly became his worst nightmare. What if you didn’t make it? What if the last conversation you had was a fight? 

Bobby’s hand rested on Buck’s shoulder as they all watched you disappear down the hallway. 

__

It had been hours. Hours of the 118 sitting in the waiting room for you to come out of surgery. Buck was a nervous wreck and no amount of consoling from Maddie or Eddie made it any better. He knew she should have told you about meeting with Abby but he was afraid of ruining everything. But not telling you made it ten times worse. 

“Evan Buckley?” A doctor called, alerting the entire crew. “Th-That’s me. I’m Evan Buckley.” Buck replied. “Y/N is going to be okay. We repaired the damage to her lung as well as the other internal damage she received from the car crash. She still had a major concussion and she’ll be out of commission for a while, but she got incredibly lucky.” The doctor explained. 

Buck let out a very visible sigh of relief, as did everyone else. “Can I see her?” Buck asked. “She’s in the ICU so only a couple of people at a time.” The doctor said. “You go, Buck. We’ll see her when she’s moved to a normal room.” Bobby told him. 

He nodded his head and followed the doctor to your room. He saw you lying in the hospital bed, multiple IVs in your hands and arms and an oxygen tube in your nose. 

Your eyes were still closed but he could tell you were awake, though hearing the doctor’s voice alerted you. 

“Y/N, someone’s here to see you.” You turned your head slightly and saw Buck standing in the doorway. “Hi.” You said quietly, your voice still hoarse from the breathing tube in surgery. 

Buck sat in the chair next to you, his eyes red and watering. “I am so sorry, Y/N,” He whispered. “I should have told you about Abby but I met with her to get closure. And to thank her because if she wouldn’t have left me, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.” He added. 

“It’s okay. I should have let you explained.” You replied. “I have something else to tell you.” Buck said. “Oh no, now what?” You joked. “I bought a ring.” He said. “Like, a ring ring?” You questioned. “Yes, a ring ring.” Buck laughed. “Where is it?” You asked.

Buck let go of your hand for a moment and fished the piece of jewelry out of his pocket.

“You have to put it on for me.” You said. Buck looked at you in disbelief as he smiled, sliding the ring on your left finger. “I’m assuming that’s a yes.” He said. “Of course it is. I’d be stupid to say no to you.” You told him with a smile.

Buck squeezed your hand gently as he looked at the ring on your finger. “I never want to come that close to losing you ever again.” He muttered. “You won’t. I don’t plan on leaving you for a long time.” You said. “Good. Because I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” Buck said. 

He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your forehead as you looked down at the ring. “You did a good job.” You commented. Buck laughed at your comment, causing a smile to grace your face. “Hen and Maddie helped.” He said. “I figured as much.” You replied. 

The rest of the evening, or whatever time of day you thought it was, Buck stayed by your side. Even when the doctors were running their tests and looking over your condition. After almost losing you, there was no way you were going to get rid of Buck even for a moment. 

[4ragon]

oh can we please hear the magatama essay??

Oh boy oh boy, let’s go

Ahem

How to Lie to the Magatama

An essay by JJsADragon

Unlocking Psyche-Locks with the Magatama is a really fun mechanic throughout the Ace Attorney series. It’s introduced in Justice for All when Pearl charges the Magatama Maya gifts to Phoenix with spiritual energy. She describes it thusly: “This is the power of the Magatama. Only you can see these "Psyche-Locks", Mr. Nick… The more someone wants to hide their secret, the more locks you will see. If it's only one, I think you can easily unlock it.” 

Basically: If someone has a secret they don’t want to share, you have to present in-game evidence and break the locks. Things get a little more complicated with the introduction of Black Psyche-Locks, but the general gist of it stays the same. Someone has a secret they don’t want to tell you, and you can unlock that secret with evidence.

This, I believe, is fundamentally wrong.

Why do I think that? Well, I always really like picking apart these mechanics, both as in-game mechanics and how they would work in the real world. In particular, I think the most interesting way to see how something works is to figure out its shortcomings. What does and doesn’t set off Apollo’s bracelet? Why doesn’t Athena notice The Phantom’s whole deal? And, more to the point, when does the Magatama straight up get things wrong?

There are several moments I want to focus on. We have seen the Magatama fail several times throughout the series. Or, to clarify, we have seen at least one time when locks should have appeared where they did not, and several times where the chains did appear and the answers uncovered were either incomplete or just straight-up incorrect.

So, let’s find out how and why the Magatama fails us. First up: 

The False Negative: Farewell, My Turnabout

Fortunately, I think this one is the easiest one to understand. The Magatama has one very clear false negative in Justice for All: Farewell, My Turnabout. Phoenix asks Matt Engarde if he murdered Juan Corrida, and he replies, “Just so we're clear, dude, I didn't kill anyone, and that includes Juan Corrida, OK?” And he’s correct. He didn’t kill anyone. He did not actively commit any murders. And on that technicality, the Magatama does not go off. He did not kill anyone, and he knows it. He believes it. He feels no residual guilt over it. His hands are clean. Hell, he seems kind of gleeful about the fact that he was ‘technically right’ when the truth comes out later.

So, why didn’t a Psyche-Lock appear? As I said, it was a technicality. He wasn’t trying to hide it from Phoenix, he just truly felt no responsibility for what happened. He felt no guilt about it. The Psyche-Locks don’t appear until Matt’s secrets come up. 

This, of course, lines up neatly with our understanding of the Magatama. This instance very clearly falls within what we know about Psyche-Locks. If you’re not trying to hide it, if you truly believe what you’re saying, it’s not a secret the Magatama will alert you to. So, what about these other instances? Do these line up as neatly in the rules of the Psyche-Locks?

The Half Truth: The Cosmic Turnabout

This one is a little strange so I’m just going to touch on this.

In day one of your investigations for The Cosmic Turnabout, you run into a conflicted Bobby Fulbright. When pressed, two Psyche-Locks appear, and unlocking them leads you to three conversations: 1) The bomb threat before the launch, 2) Why Simon Blackquill was given permission to prosecute, and 3) The mysterious Phantom.

So why do I call this a false positive? After all, he is technically hiding all these things. And yet, a lot of how this Psyche-Unlocking goes down doesn’t really make as much sense when you consider that Bobby Fulbright is The Phantom. It really doesn’t make much sense how much information he’s feeding them about the situation, unlocked Psyche-Locks or not. Especially the way he goes about the whole thing. 

We know in hindsight that The Phantom doesn’t actually care about Simon Blackquill or solving the crime that he committed. Every display of emotion is an act. So why does he make a big show of feeling conflicted? Why does the bomb threat that he made lead him to divulging all of these worries about Simon going after the Phantom? Was him revealing this information part of his game? Since we know he was trying to cover his tracks, was he feeding us half truths for a reason? Did he want to feed us this information?

If that’s the case, that leads us to a new problem. Since the question asked was “Why Are You Being Cooperative”, why wouldn’t the fact that he was the Phantom ping the Magatama? He was being cooperative so that he could feed you information, not because he cared about any of the things he was ‘troubled’ by. So why does the Magatama only pick up on half the truth? After all, the Phantom wasn’t knowingly tricking the Magatama.

(Also if you haven’t read this comic I thought it was a super interesting theory. Not sure I ascribe to it 100% but it was a really interesting take.)

I think it’s important to note in this example that, no matter how you interpret The Phantom’s actions, all signs point to him wanting to divulge this information for one reason or another. There was an intent about it. He may not have known a thing about the Psyche-Locks, but he very clearly was baiting the protagonists with an intent. And technically, without knowing it, he was also baiting the Magatama. 

This means that, in the end, the information he actually revealed to the protagonists was not a closely guarded secret of the heart. Yes, you still needed to present evidence and draw it out of him, but I think The Phantom wanted the characters to draw it out of him. It’s not a secret that a bumbling detective was having trouble hiding, it was information that a spy wanted planted. There was intent here, no matter how you look at it. And that leads us to our third example.

The False Positive: The Stolen Turnabout

Unlike the previous two cases, this is the first time that someone has straight up lied to the Magatama. Trials and Tribulations: The Stolen Turnabout. I always get so mixed up by this case. It took me three playthroughs to finally get the hang of who was doing what where and when. And do you know why that was? It was because of one lie that Luke Atmey told us early in the investigation.

Phoenix: Detective Atmey... You were knocked unconscious by the thief, weren't you!?

Atmey: Ha ha ha! Surely you must be joking... You think that I, Luke Atmey, could be knocked unconscious so easily!?

Phoenix: This sword proves it!

Atmey: ...! Th-That's...

Phoenix: Before the theft, this sword was in the hand of the statue of Ami Fey. Furthermore... at that time, it was not bent.

Atmey: Aaah... Err...

Phoenix: ...There's only one explanation. You were struck on the head and knocked unconscious by this sword! Well, Detective!? What about it!?

Atmey: ...I'm impressed. You truly are an "Ace Attorney"...

Unlock Successful

Unlike every other instance, this is just a straight-up lie. This is not a technicality, like with Matt Engarde. This is not pieces of the truth, like The Phantom. This is just factually incorrect. Luke Atmey was not knocked unconscious by Mask☆Demasque. In fact, this not only is a lie, it’s a calculated lie. Without knowing about the Magatama or its capabilities, Luke Atmey used it to convince us that he was knocked unconscious by Mask☆Demasque at the scene of the crime to disguise the fact that he was Mask☆Demasque, which is even wilder when you realize later that even that was a lie! He was covering up a lie with another lie with another lie. It was not just a ploy to fool you into thinking he was attacked my Mask☆Demasque, it was also a part of him convincing you that he was Mask☆Demasque when he wasn’t.

So why the FUCK does the Magatama go off?!

There’s of course a meta answer. The writers weren’t thinking that hard about it. They just wanted to use the Psyche-Locks to make the story more interesting. But that’s boring. I want to go deeper.

Luke Atmey, like The Phantom later on, wanted information planted. But he couldn’t simply tell everyone he was attacked by Mask☆Demasque. After all, he knew admitting to it would put his credentials under scrutiny. So he needed someone to organically draw it out of him. Again, he wanted this information out there. Otherwise, him agreeing to Phoenix’s conclusions, hell, him setting up this scenario with the Shichishito wouldn’t make any sense. Plus, it was only behind one Psyche-Lock and led to him revealing a photo of the crime, one that he was very meticulous about taking to create an alibi.

So. What does this all mean? How are people confusing the Magatama? How are people lying? I think that the element that Pearl got wrong in her initial explanation is that the Magatama reacts to secrets that, deep down, a person wants to divulge. After all, with enough evidence, you can eventually draw all sorts of information out of a person. Some are certainly more closely guarded secrets than others, but in the end, I think the Magatama reacts to secrets that a character wants to share but is not willing to do so without that prompting. It doesn’t have to be real, it just has to be something the person is keeping secret with the intent of finding a way to plant the information.

This can even apply to Black Psyche-Locks. Unconscious secrets that are hidden even from the person hiding them? Those are deep hurts that I think drive a lot about these characters’ personalities and motivations, and I think things like that are the kinds of stuff that a character wants to confront but is unable to do so out of fear, so they push it from their minds.

Let’s look at a few more examples. In Bridge to the Turnabout, Miles demands info from Larry, and he’s able to completely circumvent the Psyche-Locks by divulging something completely irrelevant about his crush on Iris. When Miles realizes his mistake, he discovers a completely new set of Psyche-Locks. Or when Phoenix confronts “Iris” about the presence of another Iris at the crime, “Iris” (cough Dahlia cough) uses that to start planting these ideas about Iris as the original betrayer, as the one who had wronged Dahlia in the first place. I feel these are both things that the characters did want to share, despite not wanting to do it unprompted.

Anyway, uh, that’s most of what I got. Perhaps there’s a stronger answer out there for why the Magatama may react in places it shouldn’t. Maybe there’s some other hidden rule they haven’t mentioned. Or maybe it is just as simple as “The writers didn’t think that hard about it.” But hey, I think I like this interpretation better.

[wackybuddiemewbs]

Buddie Moodboard - Supernatural AU

It's me. Again. Teehee. Just to clarify this beforehand - we are definitely only sampling through the first few seasons for some inspiration. The rest was a dumpster fire I'm not touching with a ten-feet pole. Also, of course, I will take any opportunity and shamelessly exploit it to run with the "oh no, there's only one bed in this shabby motel room" trope. I will die on this hill. And then go to hell. RIP.

Eddie honestly thought this was going to be a normal, boring day like any other. All he did was to take Christopher to a library for a project. But then he nearly had to punch a guy's teeth out after his son told him that the creep gave him a bag filled with weird things and told him to keep it in his room.

He just really wants to fall into bed once they make it back home and Chris finally called it a day. But no such luck. Apparently, it's his luck to move into a house and be robbed two weeks into having settled in. Eddie is ready to activate his military training to protect his son, all the more shocked to walk in on the creep from earlier fighting... a ghost? Because that thing is floating above the ground and looks just like in the horror movies.

After the stranger from the library makes a hole in the floor and retrieves what looks like a doll and burns it, the ghost vanishes.

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"What was that?"

"I get that a lot, too. How about I tell you - but only if you leave the baseball bat where it is. Deal?"

Even though every fiber in Eddie's being tells him not to, he leaves the bat aside to learn more about what just happened. The guy introduces himself as Buck, a hunter for supernatural creatures. Because apparently, they are a thing. And as much as Eddie would like to deny, he just saw one. And that was not just some illusion at a show.

"Criss Angel will have to eat his heart out over it forever and always."

As it turns out, Buck was investigating the case of a ghost turned vengeful after Eddie and Christopher moved in. She died as a teenager about twenty years ago, but her doll from childhood still kept her in this world. By burning it, Buck ended her haunting.

Though the bigger revelation is yet to come: Buck was actually pursuing another case, one that is much more dangerous than a vengeful spirit. Strange occurrences have been following Eddie and Christopher, something he himself can attest to. But Buck says that what he witnessed, coupled with some other things, actually speaks for a demon being after them. The same demon that killed his brother. Buck gave Christopher a protective charm to throw the demons off-track.

"It may not be much, but it's still better than nothing."

"I threw it out."

"Don't sweat it. Where this one came from, there's many more. Speaking of, you may want to pick one out, too. Just in case."

Buck warns Eddie that this yellow-eyed demon is not to be messed with. He spent years, trying to find a lead on this creature from the other side. But from what he can tell, that demon is up to a bigger game than most of his peers, normally satisfied screwing people over by making deals with them.

For the small feed of their eternal souls.

To ensure Christopher's safety, Buck takes the two to a friend's house, who is also a fellow hunter. Bobby is a kind man, Eddie can tell, instantly welcoming them inside with the promise of lodgings and food. Soon, more people pour in. Hen and Chim are both hunters, too. Karen supports her wife by running some calculations. And Bobby's wife sometimes helps out by granting them access to some police files. A mad bunch, but a loving one, against all odds.

Buck wants to pursue the demon on his own, he lets Eddie know, suggesting that he and Christopher stay with Bobby and Athena for a while. Bobby is a capable hunter, and Chim and Hen would surely keep around as well. Eddie isn't having it, though. He won't just stand by when literal monsters try to do harm to his son.

Despite the younger man's efforts to shake him off, Eddie insists on coming along and getting the demon after his son. And so, the two embark on the kind of roadtrip no sane person would sign up for, encountering monsters and demons along the way as they dive deeper and deeper into the other world.

And it may well be that the darkness they keep staring at may long since be staring back at them, to pull them under and away...

Find more moodboards here.

[horrible-writer-rain]

Over the Edge and Under

Summary: The 118's actions have devastating consequences.

Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Male OC!

Warnings: Suicide, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Depression, Post-lawsuit, Past Abuse in reference to Buck's treatment at the 118

A/N: This is not edited. I wrote this fic at like midnight. I'll post the reactions and aftermath at some point.

He was tired. Tired of the glares and harsh words from the people he called family. Tired of going home to an empty apartment because Luca was overseas on some mission that was classified. Tired of being the man behind when all he wanted was to save people. To do the one thing he was good at. He left a voicemail for Luca and one to both Luca’s twin sister and brother in Texas. His grip is tight on the railing but not from a fear of failing. No, he had resigned himself that he was going to die but only when he’s ready. He hopes Chris will forgive him, but he had written him a letter and had left it on his counter with Carla’s name on it. He knew she would give it to him. Luca would be pissed and heartbroken but he had a good support system in their old team, his family, and his crew in Austin. He had left letters for the crew of the 118 as well. Left them on the counter as well. He had written a letter for every person in his life that he loved. It was up to them if they read it or not.

He lets out a breath when he hears a car stop. “Sir, please step away back over the railing.” He felt like he could cry. He knew that voice. “I’m good right where I am, ‘Thena.” He calls opening his eyes to look down. It was about a 40ft drop into freezing water so if the impact didn’t kill him then the hypothermia and subsequent drowning would. “Buck?” He hears her come closer. “What are you doing here, baby?” She asks and he shrugs. “I’m tired ‘Thena.” He tells her as a firetruck pulls up. “Anyone I can call?” She asks stepping closer and he shakes his head. “Stay where you are ‘Thena.” He warns and she stops moving. “Just you Bobby. Keep the others back.” He hears her speak into her radio. The 118 must have responded. Fuck. It was bad enough that he was going to jump in front of Athena but now his crew. The ones who have thrown insults and petty jabs his way. The ones who had a hand in causing this. His grip loosens and Athena lets out a strangled noise. “It’s Okay, ‘Thena.” He tries to reassure her.

“Why’d you have the rest of the crew stay back, Athena?” He hears Bobby, no captain Nash say his tone weary. He knows exactly when Captain Nash spots him. His breath audibly hitching. “Buck?” The use of his nickname and the concern in his voice has him letting out a harsh laugh. “It’s Buck now, is it?” He says finally turning around to face him. “Buck, you don’t have to do this.” He says stepping closer, but Athena holds her arm out. “Why should I listen to you? You’ve done nothing but belittle me since I got back. This isn’t your house, so I don’t have to follow your rules.” His voice is calm, and he looks over to where Hen, Chim, and Eddie have gotten out of the truck. He can see the horror in Hen’s eyes, and he feels kind of bad. She was the one who he confided in the most about being away from Luca. They had eventually bonded over their similar sexualities and marriages to people of the same sex.

“Eddie get me a harness.” Captain Nash says and he sees Eddie falter for a second before following the order. Chim stands beside Hen watching with wide eyes. No doubt trying to figure out how to explain what happened to Maddie. Hen is gripping her med bag tightly. “Think about the people that love you, Buck. Think about your family.” Captain Nash says and he turns his gaze once more to his captain. “My family consists of Luca Rizzoli and his family.” He says and Captain Nash shakes his head. “You’ve got us Buck.” Eddie says as he hands over the harness to his captain. He lets out another humorless laugh. “I’ve not had you since the bombing. I thought you were my best friend. But friends don’t call each other exhausting or shove them around. Family doesn’t belittle anything that’s ever happened to a member of said family.” Eddie looks guilty at his words. “Captain Nash, I used to think of you as a father figure. Now, I see that your no better than my own damn father who didn’t give a single shit about me. In a way this is your fault. You chose to lie to me about what happened. So the only way I saw to get back to my family was to fight for it. I turned down 7 million dollars to get back to my family. It was never even about the money. I just wanted you back.” He pauses to take a breath before continuing. “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy and I accepted that you all would be mad at me. I just didn’t expect for it to last a few months and involve being assaulted. You chose to leave me as the man behind. At first, I was fine with it. I knew you didn’t trust me. I figured I’d need to earn your trust back, but you never gave me the chance. Then after awhile it just started to hurt. You had taken away my ability to help people in a way I loved. I wasn’t being shot at or have the threat of getting blown up and I wasn’t in some active warzone halfway across the world.” Captain Nash had put on the harness as he was talking but never took his eyes of him.

“Please, let us make this right.” Captain Nash pleads with him, but he shakes his head resolved to do what he had come here for. “Think of Christopher. That kid loves you like you’re his father too. Think of what it will do to him if you die.” Eddie says. “That’s a low blow, Eddie. I did think of him. All the time. I wondered if he had nightmares from the tsunami. Wondered if there was any way I could help him, but you kept me away.” He seethes but his voice is still level. “I’m sick and tired of thinking of and putting other’s before myself. Call me selfish but I just don’t give a shit anymore. I’m tired of being other people’s punching back both physically and emotionally. I’m done.” He sees Hen and Chim start moving toward him. “I’m sorry but I just am.” With those final words he pushes himself away from the railing letting go.

The air is cool against his skin as he falls closing his eyes a thinking of his husband. He can hear the screams of the people he once called family, but the sound disappears as soon as he hits the water and his world fades to black.

The 118 stand shocked as their youngest member just jumped of the bridge. Henrietta Wilson falls to her knees as a broken wail leaves her. Her partner Howard Han stands in total shock trying to make himself believe that the man he considered as a brother has just ended his life. Edmundo Diaz has crumpled to his knees as well sobs leaving him as the reality of what he had done had cost him his best friend and the man his son considers as a second father. Athena Grant stands with her hand over her mouth and tears streaming down her face. It was like May’s overdose all over again but this time she wouldn’t be saving her child. Robert Nash is half leaning over the railing with his arm outstretched for the man that had become like a son to him. Guilt consumed each member of the 118 from their actions in the last few months. Athena’s guilt coming from her failure to save her boy. Each of them wondering how they were going to tell their family and how they were going to tell them it was their fault. How it was their actions that drove him to take his own life. “Get water and rescue down here to search the waters. I want his body recovered.” Captain Nash’s voice is void of any emotion as he gives the command. It prompts the others into action but a cloud now hung over them and its their own fault.

[datleggy]

Scene that popped into my head: post lawsuit while Buck is shunned. He pushes Eddie out of the way and takes a near fatal hit. As he lays there bruised and bleeding internally with Eddie and everyone treating him his eyes focus on something past Eddie, something only he sees. The Buck says a something that truly terrifies Eddie. He simply says “Shannon?” All hell breaks loose after that. Eddie screaming at Buck not to go with her

It’s been nearly a month now since Buck came back to the team and despite all of his apologies and all of his attempts at trying to show everyone he regrets putting them all through the lawsuit, not a single person has reached out in return.

Buck regrets everything. He was just so desperate; he wanted to stay a family so goddamn bad, but it ended up blowing up in his face.

Bobby continues to treat him with kid gloves, having him do all kinds of probationary work around the station, reprimanding him for any and every little thing and leaving him on crowd control duty the few times he is actually allowed to go on calls with the rest of the team.

It’s upsetting and belittling but Buck takes it all in stride. He deserves everything he gets and more for his thoughtless, selfish impulsivity. Right?

It’s the dreary thought that’s on his mind as Buck watches his team go into the blazing fire in the bank, on their latest call.

There are patrol officers and S.W.A.T surrounding the perimeter. They’d been called in earlier when the situation had consisted of a lone bank robber and his eight hostages. Somehow—not that Buck managed to get many details from Bobby, who’d only told him he would be standing the sidelines in case anything happened—that had turned into what it is now, a fire emergency, with the bank robber plus four of the hostages still inside.

Buck is on standby, which is killing him, of course. His team is wearing bullet proof vests on top of their already heavy gear, in case the bank robber feels like shooting his way out of a burning building. Please be ok, he prays, please be ok.

He wants to run in there and help, make sure he’s got his people’s backs, but he’s been given clear and direct orders to stay back by the Captain, and though it goes against his every instinct, Buck wars with himself to wait, anxiety curling deep in his belly.

Eventually, while Buck is holding his breath, waiting for signs of life, one by one, they come out of the fire, relatively unscathed, as far as he can see. S.W.A.T. is on standby like Buck, but unlike Buck it’s because they’ve actually got a job to do. The last four hostages were all female, and so it’s easy to locate the bank robber, who had earlier been identified as a stocky white male in his thirties.

While the man is being cuffed and read his miranda rights paramedics on scene start to work on the hostages, none of whom seem particularly wounded, thankfully. In fact, the worst of it seems to be a little smoke inhalation all around.

Buck notices Eddie trying to lead the woman he saved over to the ambulance to get checked; he’s having trouble. Curious, and eager to help in any way he can, Buck hedges closer. “Look, I’m fine, just leave me alone.” the woman is saying, backing away.

Eddie, who thinks she might be traumatized and perhaps even hiding an injury, the way she’s holding her side so awkwardly, carefully reaches for her again. “Ma’am, it’s ok, we’re just here to help—”

But Buck can see something’s not quite right, he can see the panic in her eyes and instantly recognizes it for what it is: she’s feeling trapped, surrounded on all sides. This isn’t good. He’s seen that look before, in the face of that woman he rescued what seems like forever ago now. The one up on that billboard, the one who drew that gun on him the moment she felt like there was no other way out…

“Eddie wait!” But it’s too late.

The woman is already rearing back, a wildness to her, and within milliseconds she’s got a weapon aimed at Eddie’s fucking head and Buck can see that finger on the trigger, she’s not hesitating and there’s no time to think or subdue her. Buck just acts, slamming himself into Eddie to push him out of the way as the woman shoots.

S.W.A.T. is on her in an instant, securing the gun and shoving her onto the asphalt to be cuffed and arrested.

Eddie, still reeling, sits up shakily, heart pounding erratically. “B-Buck?”

Buck is lying prone on his side, deathly still, and there’s already a puddle of blood formed beneath his body, and it’s only growing.

“Buck, Buck!” Eddie panics, scrambling for what to do.

Thankfully the 118 is here and within moments they’re gathered around, and Eddie, he finds himself frozen in place, watching as Hen and Chimney turn Buck over in a flurry of activity. There’s so much blood, Eddie can barely tell where it’s coming from. It’s covering the side of his face and his neck, his chest, his shoulders.

Chim has a portable EKG reading his vitals and it’s not looking good. Hen’s managed to find the entrance wound, right at the side of his neck and she’s keeping a steady firm pressure but there’s still so much blood pouring out between her gloved fingers.

Buck groans, his eyelashes fluttering against his too pale face.

“Buck, son, you’re gonna’ be ok.” Bobby is sitting right next to Eddie, he’s got a hand lingering, hovering just above Buck’s shoulder on his other side. Eddie sees the way that hand trembles and knows the Captain is terrified he’s going to be made a liar.

But Buck is awake now, conscious and moving, if only in response to the pain. His eyes are unfocused, looking somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder, not at him. “Buck, Buck, look at me, you got shot, as soon as you’re stable we’re getting you to a hospital.” Eddie tries to assure him, the panic in his voice betraying his words. As soon as we get you stable, he makes sure to say, not if we get you stable…

But Buck doesn’t acknowledge him. He blinks slowly, his brows creasing—not in pain, but in confusion. He opens his mouth and says something but it’s too quiet for anyone to catch it, not when so many things are going on around them, with S.W.A.T in the background, released hostages and other civilians still reeling from the gun going off, and Hen and Chim working their asses off to keep Buck alive.

Eddie leans in as much as he can, without disturbing their work. “Buck what is it?” his voice is trembling. Hell, he’s trembling.

But what Buck says next makes Eddie go deathly still.

“Shannon?”

All hell breaks loose. 

“No no no no no no no, Buck no, please, look at me!” Eddie can’t even hear himself over the roaring in his ears but he’s sure he’s screaming right now, his throat feels so raw.

But Buck still won’t look in his direction, those hazy blue eyes looking somewhere into the distance, seeing something no one else can. And it is terrifying beyond all belief.

“Please!” Eddie cries, “Please stay!” This can’t be happening. Not like this. Not ever. He has so much left he wants—no, needs to say. It can’t end like this. Not again.

“Don’t you fucking go! I need you!” he’s sobbing and screaming as Bobby holds him tight, keeping him from grabbing onto Buck and shaking him, telling him to snap out of it and come back to them, while Hen and Chim work. Captain Nash is saying something, maybe he’s trying to calm Eddie down, but he can’t hear anything over the sound of the erratic beeps coming from the EKG. 

Buck lets out a very faint gasp, his eyes fluttering shut, and the resounding BEEEEEP! feels like it goes on forever.

————————————————————————————————–

Buck wakes up in a hospital room.

A very crowded hospital room.

Chim and Maddie are asleep on top of one another, taking up a small loveseat in the corner on the room. Hen and Karen are passed out on the couch beside the entrance, as are Bobby and Athena, sitting side by side on some not so comfortable looking chairs, on the opposite end, resting one against the other.

“Buck?”

Buck looks to his side, where the last chair in the room is occupied, by none other than Eddie, who looks an absolute wreck, and sounds even worse, if possible.

“Eddie?” Buck winces. Talking hurts, his throat is so sore. In fact, everything hurts.

Eddie quickly has him gently suck at an ice chip by the bedside, “It’ll help.” he says. Buck notices the tremor in his hand.

After he’s a little more hydrated Buck asks, “You ok?” his friend looks like death twice warmed over.

He’s not expecting Eddie to break down in tears, but that’s exactly what happens. “Am I ok?” he’s incredulous, running his hands through his hair. “Am I ok?” he repeats.

Buck is pretty sure the only reason no one’s stirred awake yet is because neither of them can speak above the level of a throaty raw whisper at the moment. “That lady.” he says, by way of explanation. “With the gun.”

“I’m not the one she shot.” Eddie sobs, not bothering to hide his anguish. “Buck you almost fucking died. You coded in the field after calling out Shannon’s name and I fucking lost you. Buck I can’t lose you. I can’t. Ever. You can’t---you cannot do that, please, you can’t leave me. What would I ever do without you?” Eddie can barely catch his breath and he’s literally shaking. “Buck please, I need you to promise me you’ll never do something like that again. Please.”

Buck can’t promise that. And they both know it. “You know I can’t. What the hell would I ever do without you? Hell, what would Christopher do without you?”

Eddie shakes his head adamantly, breath hitching, desperately grabbing onto Buck’s hand, like it’s a lifeline. It just might be. “He’d be in good hands. Buck, you can’t do that again.”

Buck gulps. “Eddie, Christopher needs---”

“He’s got you.” Eddie cuts him off. “I should have told you before. After the tsunami I changed my will, if anything happens to me, you’re it.” he admits. “So yeah, he needs me, but he also needs you. I need you. I love you so much Buck, I couldn’t stand losing you. I’d---” he pauses, realizing he’s just confessed, and this is certainly not the way he had meant to confess. “I---shit, I’m sorry, I meant to confess after apologizing for---fuck, for everything, for this last month, hell, for the last few months, since the lawsuit, for how selfish and stubborn I’ve been, for not trying better to understand your side, for---”

“I love you too.” Buck squeezes the hands holding his, albeit weakly. He looks awed, like it’s his first time really seeing Eddie, in a while---and it probably is. “Did you really? With Christopher?” he’s too exhausted for full sentences but Eddie thankfully knows what he means.

He nods, “I did. I’m sorry, I know I should have asked, and I was gonna’ talk to you about it, but then, everything just---”

“No, no, it’s---I’m just really happy.” Buck smiles, and it’s his first genuine smile, one he hasn’t had to fake or force, in months.

Eddie practically melts against the side of the hospital bed, laying his forehead gently up against Buck’s shoulder. “Me too.” he sniffles, overwrought with emotion.

Buck’s hand comes up to rest over the back of Eddie’s head, where he can softly caress his fingers, in hopes of providing some kind of comfort, however tired he is. “I know it’s not what you wanna’ hear right now...or ever, but I would do it again, no hesitation.” he confesses.

Eddie buries his face further into Buck’s shoulder, his breath catching on a sob. “I know.” He does know. Because given the chance, Eddie would easily take a bullet for Buck too, no questions asked. A thousand times over.

“I love you.”

[himbo-buckley]

Intimacy, Sex and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 2

G’day friends, family and lost travelers! Welcome back to another instance of: I read too much into things!

This is where we really dive into the Character analysis and it’s gonna be a fun ride!!! (well, maybe. For me at least because thanks to 3.16 I am living! That episode validated me so much and now I truly believe I am right)

This is part two of a three part Meta / Character Analysis, and while you probably don’t need to read part 1, I would recommend it, so here is the link:

part 1

Also:

I should preface this by saying this meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics.

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney* voice we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something?

This Meta will so far have three parts (this is part two), one for each season and is organised by episode so you could technically follow along

So here goes nothing, Season 2: (Also called „Why is Ryan naked so much?“)

Episode 2.01:

I’m not gonna talk a lot about this episode, because I feel like it’s been analysed to death already. Important to know is that Buck hasn’t yet given up on Abby coming back (see the shower scene), he is very lonely and there is a lot of homo- erotic tension.

Basically this episode goes like this:

Buck *after meeting Eddie*: nooooo, Dad, I don’t want a brother! He’s better than me! Put him back where he came from!

Eddie *takes one look at Buck*: Ui, you guys lied, he’s an ass - I like it! This is way better! We’re gonna be friends!

And then Buddie decides to something stupid to prove themselves (to each other) and they end up saving the day and bonding.

Also Eddie saying: „You guys hungry?“ after the Ambulance blows up? Iconic! He is such a little shit.

Episode 2.02 / 2.03:

(I’m putting them together because two-parter)

This episodes truly proves how hard they’ve already bonded, despite Buck not even knowing Eddie has a kid yet, especially from Eddie’s point of view: I actually think he started seeing Buck as his partner first. 

I love how he always takes charge, even in his first episode and expects Buck to go along with it - which Buck does (after some initial reluctance), because Buck is good at following orders and trusts Eddie. It might be an army thing, probably is an Eddie likes control thing. What is truly unique about Buddie, is the fact that Eddie defers to Buck’s judgement as needed, something he doesn’t do with anyone else, I think, unless the chain of command tells him to. Just look at how annoyed he is by Ali and her interfering.

That being said it really isn’t all to relevant for this meta, except to say: Interest- ing how fast they trusted each other and became a unit - I guess it’s true what they say: birds of a feather flock together.

Episode 2.04:

Here we get our first real insights into Eddie’s character (aside from that he is a little shit and likes to take charge) as well as some very nice shots of the man’s body, proving my theory that someone in charge really wants to get busy with Ryan Guzman. Which I am not exactly complaining about.

I do think however it’s a very noticable shift from the way they treat the other young, attractive guy in the cast. I talked about this a little in the first part of this Meta, how they went out of their way to hold Buck accountable and make him relatable, but refused to bank on his sex appeal, aside from a few scenes which mostly were about explaining why Abby reached out to him (and uh, we do not need to talk about how creepy that really was, do we?). Eddie though really gets sexualised from the get go. Or maybe that’s just me and I missed something? (Someone with more insight on such topics take the wheel? Because that really isn’t my area of expertice and I don’t wanna say anything false)

A main difference between Buck and Eddie at this point (or in general) is that Buck is always looking for connection. He craves emotional intimacy but it scares him because he cares too much and people keep leaving so he searches out physical intimacy - or he used to. Actually by Season 2 Buck is actively looking to connect emotionally with another person.

Eddie on the other hand isn’t even on the same level as Pilot!Buck, because he avoids both physical and emotional intimacy (except with Buck because, you know, steam engine). The episode implies that it might be caused by Shannon leaving, but the rest of Season 2 and specifically Season 3 show us that it’s an Eddie thing (likely caused by his upbringing if you fast forward to 3.15). And it really makes me want to know how Shannon and Eddie met and how long they had been dating before she got pregnant. Probably not that long tbh.

One thing to notice about the episode is that it parallels Eddie both with Buck (neither wants to date one of those girls, both deflect about their reasons) and with Abby - watch 1.03 and 2.04 back to back, both are about a character taking care of a special needs family member, both have another family member consider them stuck when they themselves do not and both feature Buck trying to help (passively by talking to Abby on the phone vs. actively by having Eddie and Carla meet)

Also as I pointed out in another post the conversation about dating is kind of similar to the car conversation, and I really am clowning now - which is why I will not try and parallel the conversation between Maddie and Buck with the one between Bobby and Buck in 1.09!

I still don’t fully understand the need for that scene (you know which one) aside from being another instance where the boys get sexualised and giving us our first insight into Eddie romantically and also the first time he uses Christopher as a shield (also not the last).

The general take away from the episode is that Eddie is bad at asking for help and Buck is bad at asking for permission which means they fit really well - because Eddie doesn’t have to voice his needs and Buck doesn’t have to feel bad about steamrolling him.

In terms of the overall theme of this meta your main takeaway from this episode should be:

Buck - no longer substituting physical intimacy for emotional intimacy but also not seeking out emotional intimacy, both because he has a connection through Maddie and is building one with Eddie but also because he still considers himself spoken for, though the episode ends with him realicing he might not be (and then he keeps realising, because he is one stubborn mf).

Eddie - avoiding both physical and emotional intimacy and using Christopher to deflect, mainly because he doesn’t have the time for either (but still getting a connection through Buck, thanks to someone just punching right through his boundaries)

Episode 2.05:

no relevance, our boys are barely in it

Episode 2.06:

Well, if you want to write about Buddie crumbs than yeah, definitely important. Also, you can draw a definite parallel between Abby and Taylor, because Buck knew both their voices before he saw their faces and built an emotional connection to those voices. This fits because, well, Buck is afraid of emotional intimacy, but when it’s just a voice it’s easier for him to let himself be vulnerable cause it’s not an actual person.

Plus, considering the thing with Taylor is one sided prior to their meeting, he isn’t actually cheating on Abby. Or so Buck thinks. (Also Taylor doesn’t have a chance to hurt Buck and leave him because you know, she is not aware he exists?)

Also Eddie talks about becoming a firefighter because he missed the camaraderie of the army - aka the emotional connection he had with his squadron (is that the right term?). So technically he did actively try and seek it out - to a point at least. Because, as I will discuss in Part 3, Eddie may consider the 118 his family but his relationship with the other three firefighters in not on the same level than the one he has with Buck.

Episode 2.07:

Let’s all give a warm welcome to Shannon Diaz! I like Shannon, I think she is great (I also think she and Eddie are similar because they both run away from problems which is why they would never work out - unlike another possible relationship mentioned sporadically in this Meta, hint hint ;) ... okay, moving on)

We learn that „not in the picture“ means Eddie is still married, which begs the question how much Eddie has told Carla and the 118 about Shannon up to this point (as little as possible), what they assume about her (probably the worst) and if Eddie ever sets the record straight (I’m assuming yes, because while Eddie doesn’t share - Eddie is also protective of his family and Shannon is his family for better or worse - I really wish they didn’t kill her off and instead played out the divorce storyline because there was so much chance for growth! Although that was probably too similar to Athena and Michael, which is why they didn’t do it. So they fridged her. Damn, and I am still salty about it.)

I really love when she comes to the house, because we learn so much about them as a couple. Like how her eyes grow warm when he opens the door but Eddie’s don’t but then he goes in to hug her (and you can really tell that Ryan Guzman is an athlete in the way that he always acts with his whole body and conveys so much through movement). And the fact that Shannon immediately pushes to meet Christopher (probably because with Eddie you need to push, because he is very stubborn and also in need of control), and her saying she never thought Eddie would be into something so fancy? Yet another insight into Eddie’s character and into his upbringing, which while probably not poor seems to have been fairly modest.

Also love how they fight almost right from the get go, implying that it is their normal (as proven in 3.15). They really never stood a chance!

There is a lot of backstory we get through their fighting, both at the house and at the school, most notably that even in marriage Eddie was never able to fully open up to Shannon - aka be emotionally intimate with her. Which made her feel very alone.

And I don’t wanna defend Shannon and her actions because other people have said it before and this is not what this Meta is about but I can see her point of view. With Eddie and the way he just always needs to be in control and make the decisions she probably thought she had to do something drastic to get him to notice her and her struggles.

Interestingly enough Eddie is emotionally vulnerable with Shannon at the end when he tells her that he understands why she left and that he misses her, but then he immediately kisses her and look, we don’t know what happens next  but we can guess from the latter episodes.

And look, tbh with Eddie it’s a little bit harder to draw the line between physical and emotional intimacy than with Buck because Eddie’s love language is touch and actions, so technically in a way he is always emotionally intimate when he is physically intimate (probably why he didn’t wanna go out with any of the girls in 2.04 - Eddie, different to Buck, can not just separate feelings from sex, while Buck has a hard time reconciling the two)

On Buck’s side of this Meta he finally comes to terms with Abby leaving, which doesn’t have too much relevance for this meta except there are a lot of parallels between Buddie in terms of: how long is too long to wait - because while Eddie pretends to have given up on Shannon, he actually hasn’t, whereas Buck outwardly is still waiting for Abby but on the inside has given up hope - something they both come to terms with in this episode

Episode 2.08:

Fun fact: The german title of this Episode is Lovestorys. Can you guess if there is anything of relevance in it?

Okay, first off for the millionth time, in case you haven’t read part 1 or you aren’t convinced yet or maybe you just forgot: Evan „Buck“ Buckley was never a sex addict. Kay? Good.

Also, remember when I said the show doesn’t sexualise Oliver the way it does Ryan? Yeah, this episode exactly. Buck has sex twice and we see less of his body than of Eddie just getting out of bed. Is it a contract thing? Was Ryan always running around naked on set? Did Oliver refuse to take his shirt off? Is he always cold because he’s vegan? Should I figure out Twitter just to ask the cast these questions?

(Also, remember when I said with Buck it’s mostly Girl on top, yay, it stays true)

In terms of actual relevant story, there’s that woman on the freeway (highway? Idk guys, I’m not from the US) reinforcing that Buck has finally accepted that Abby and him are over and then there’s the Taylor Kenny - story, which is sort of just beating the bush of sexual vs emotional intimacy with Buck trying for the latter and only finding the former (remember the Brunette from the Pilot? Yeah, that’s why I’m reminding you).

What I like is the fact that, after spending so much time calling out Buck 1.0 (and they should, because stealing a fire truck? Twice? Babe, for realsies?), this episode went: look, maybe girls like meaningless sex, too? Although, technically they have been telling us from the the beginning, that those girl were using Buck in the same way he was using them (again with the Brunette) - Buck just never understood that until Taylor.

We also get the soulmate scene with the very sweet couple, once again, rein- forcing how lonely Buck is and how much he is craving love and a connection and stability. That really is what his character boils down to at the end of the day: a lost kid trying to find his place in the world. And now I’m sad.

As for the Ali storyline, oh man, I’d really rather ignore it? Not because I have anything against the character per sey it’s just - we get to see their first meeting and then 5 episodes later their first date and by the end of the season they are in love love except by Season 3 she is gone? And in between she is hardly ever mentioned? So I really don’t know how to comment on their relationship in terms of this meta and what it means for Buck except: I think it was one of those right times right moment kind of things and Buck is sort of transfering a lot of his wishes and needs and feelings onto her, but their relationship has a weak foundation, which is why it ended so fast (except we don’t know how fast it ended because there is a 5 month gap between Season 2 and 3 and the breakup gets mentioned one (1) time. Soooooo...)

And Eddie, well, he was in the episode.

Episode 2.09:

I like this episode a lot and it tells us so much about Hen’s issues, but in terms of this meta: no relevance!

Sidenote: I do always forget they did Hen before they did Chim. Then again this episode in general feels very disconnected because there was no prompting, no connection to the present.

Episode 2.10:

Ah, yes, that one! The gift that keeps on giving in terms of Eddie and this meta (and also Buddie, but I’m trying not to be ship-y around here)

(One tiny sidenote though, I do think we see Eddie roll of off Shannon, and, while I don’t want to reinforce some stereotype about Top and Bottom, because I am not a gay man and therefore not qualified to comment, with Buck it’s generally girl on top? So Buck usually lets his partner set the pace while Eddie prefers to be the one in control? Okay, you know what, let’s just say it fits with their characters and maybe they match and leave it at that?)

(also, again with the Ryan shirtless, I mean, not that I am complaining, it’s just ... yeah, please, someone who knows this stuff come talk to me about it and explain because I don’t know and maybe I am seeing things?)

(sidenote #3 with actual relevance: They did not mention Buck’s girlfriend even once. They never do until the final.)

First of, this episode proofs what I said before: With Eddie there is no separating Sex and feelings. It is interconnected („We are working things out.“).

Also there is a point to be made about Eddie and control. So far we have always seen Eddie be the one in control and make decisions and this is our first real indicator that it actually bothers him, that maybe he wants someone else to tell him what’s right or wrong, too.

I’m gonna fast forward a bit, because we are nearly at the end of Season 3 irl and so far we have seen Eddie ask for help several times but only with two people - Buck and Lena - he actually takes the advice. I don’t want to say too much because it really fits better in Season 3, but wether you ship them or not, it is noticeable that out of everyone Buck is the one Eddie let’s help the most. The one he trusts the most.

(Man, they are both just two lost boys looking for their home, aren’t they? (and now I am sad again.))

There is also the topic of trust brought up, which you know, we hear about a few times from Eddie, and it really is such a big thing for him, isn’t it?

To fast forward again, that is one big difference between Eddie and Buck. Both struggle with self worth and trust but while Buck’s biggest problem is that he doesn’t trust people to like him, if they actually get to know him (or if they even want to get to know him), Eddie just plain old does not trust people? Because Eddie is a pessimist, so he doesn’t even try to connect, while Buckeroo trusts way too much and too easily and he is such an optimist and gives away everything and then he still isn’t enough - and then and only then does he give up hope (which is something we see happen in canon maybe twice? With Abby, maybe with Ali, and with Christopher, but again, Season 3 you guys!)

These two really are the different sides of the same coin, huh?

In relevance to this Meta, Eddie is trying very much this whole episode to be open and vulnerable and he struggles so much because he is very scared. The main issue with Eddie is always (and specifically with Shannon) by making himself vulnerable, he opens Christopher up to getting hurt as well (and vice versa because he can’t let Shannon into his son’s life without letting her into his own life) and this is what we see him struggle with in this episode and also what intensifies his already existing issues with intimacy throughout the show in general, his need to protect his son. 

It should be noted that in the end Eddie puts Christopher’s wishes above his own well-being which is in fact what he will always do because Christopher is the most important person in his life.

As for Buck in this episode, well, after having so much development in his last episode, he really was there more as a sounding board for other characters. However I will mention that, after the show points out the whole thing is none of his business twice, Eddie then turns around and makes the Shannon thing Buck’s business, because well, connected and all that. Trusting and giving up control. Emotional intimacy. Just repeating myself now.

Episode 2.11: No relevance.

Episode 2.12: No relevance.

Episode 2.13: No real relevance.

There is the scene in the hospital between Buck and Eddie that reinforces the peas in a pot thing they got going on and a reverse from the Christmas Episode when Eddie asked Buck about what he should do. Here Eddie acts as the sounding board (even though Buck has already done the thing but then so has Eddie by hiding Shannon).

This is also yet another instance of Buck trying to help another person with no regard for his own safety but I’m with Eddie here: I have sisters as well. I too would do countless stupid things to save them with no regard to my own safety and I’m a girl - I was not raised on the believe that is was my job to protect them from harm like both Buck and Eddie probably were (because gender rolls).

Also Buck thinks it’s his fault that Doug even found Maddie and Eddie explains to him why its bull. To reinforce the whole connection thing, it is very noticeable that these two always give each other exactly what the other needs - with Eddie from the get go always working on building up Buck’s self worth and Buck always lending a hand to Eddie and taking control when needed (remember Carla? That was Buck taking control for Eddie because Eddie didn’t know what to do).

There is also the short scene when Shannon comes to the hospital and it prob- ably did a lot to help rebuild Eddies trust in his wife.

Episode 2.14:

STOP MAKING EVAN BUCKLEY WORRY ABOUT HIS FAMILY 2k21 (because it’s too late for anything before that)

It’s also our first real: Eddie can be a dumbass, too sighting and there is that one scene (you know which one) which in text is not shippy at all, but ended up in every gifset because Oliver is looking at Ryan like he wants to eat him alive.

Aside from that, this episode really isn’t about them and that’s okay.

Episode 2.15: Crime is hard. That is all.

Episode 2.16: No relevance.

Episode 2.17:

First of all, Eddie is not shirtless? At the beach? Damn, what’s wrong, 911? Is it because Gavin was there? Have you used up all your contracted shirtless scenes by now? Did Ryan find out he was the only one running around set half naked?

Also poor Eddie, you know, you’d think getting married your done having those: what are we - conversations and then bam: there it is again. He really can’t catch a break, can he?

Also I know it’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: Eddie Diaz is not in love with Shannon. Maybe he has never been or maybe he just stopped at some point, but right then and there he isn’t in love with her. He does however love her deeply (she is after all the mother of his son) and she is his family which is sort of where the problem in their relationship lies. Because Eddie, who has problems with trust and intimacy, frankly doesn’t care enough about Shannon (and also doesn’t trust her enough) to try and be open and vulnerable with her, which is what he needs to be in order for them to work, a fact that Shannon seems to be aware of and have accepted.

(Because if you have to wait for a sign on what to do in your relationship, yeah, you already know - you’re just not accepting it.)

And this episode is so heartbreaking and I just had to stop myself from ugly crying because Shannon loves Christopher so very much. And I just hate that they killed her off, so in my mind I have already half plotted a fix it fic in which she survives because that was just unnecessary angst.

Though that’s the topic of another post.

In terms of the relationship-story I am similarly floored as I am by the „Help!“ scene because (at least for me) this is the first time I have seen media really address that yes, you can be a good parent and still not be ready for a serious relationship because those two things are very different. Sure, you sometimes see examples of it through subtext but never before has it been so outright stated.

And I like that both Shannon and Eddie ask themselves that question, but come to a different conclusion - or actually they don’t. Like I said above, for Eddie this relationship fits because it’s easy and he doesn’t have to change or better adapt. He can just keep avoiding the hard stuff (being vulnerable) and still have the good stuff (sex). And then Shannon might be pregnant again and look at his speech at the restaurant: He is basically saying our child is awesome, so we should get back together because if we make such awesome children than we can’t be that bad together. And that is so very wrong, which Shannon understands.

The problem is, that Eddie doesn’t fully understand why their marriage hasn’t worked in the first place. If you tie it into 3.15 Eddie Begins, I think for Eddie, the reason why Shannon left him was a little to get back at him for leaving her and a lot about feeling left alone and being unable to cope with raising their child alone, but all of that is gonna be different now because he will be there for her physically and emotionally as he is no longer in the army! So the issue is solved. They should be a family again. Even without a new kid. After all: they love each other.

And look, those are all fair reasons and true but the thing Eddie doesn’t understand about relationships in general and his marriage to Shannon in particular is that she also needs him to be emotionally vulnerable with her. Shannon needs Eddie to let her be there for him, just like he is trying to be there for her. Because relationships are always a two way street.

SO obviously this is where the episode ended. There were no more scenes af- ter that. Nope. Bit weird how it was so short but you do you, 911, you do you!

And well, Buck was there too.

Episode 2.18:

I’m just gonna come out and say it: Ramon and Helena are bad parents. Flying to your daughter-in-law’s funeral only to bad mouth her and then try to take your son’s son away again? Yeah, I do not like your style. I wonder how much of Eddie Begins was already planned at this point or if they built that plot about his family for 3.15 based on this episode. Huh. We might never know. (except Twitter)

Also me thinks Eddie choose LA because of Pepa and Abuela, not because of Shannon. She was probably just a bonus.

As for Buck (and Ali): the actors seem to have had fun doing those scenes? I guess? Other than that it’s a little cringy and very out of nowhere and probably more caused by the show having money left over and deciding to built a new set. ANd damn what a set. I wonder how Buck is supposed to be able to afford that because that apartment has probably about 50-75m2 considering there is a kitchen and a living room as well as a room behind the living room and probably an extra room in the upper floor as well (someone do a floorplan and also tell me why Buck needs so much space and wether they think I could move in with him. My apartment is not this nice and LA isn’t that long a commute).

Point being I don’t know why they brought Ali back in the first place, especially in this episode. She was never mentioned after their first date, so why? Just to give people something to discuss during hiatus?

There was no point to have those two incredibly lovey dovey scenes only to have that scenes about what he wants to do next because all those scenes? Would have worked just fine with, you know, his sister (except a little different because incest). Who actually has the what if you can’t go back to being a firefighter - scene with him. So why have a girlfriend you barely introduced and never used before? I’m not mad, 911, just confused! (Fuck me, I really am getting twitter)

As for the topic of this meta, there really isn’t much too tell. Ali honestly doesn’t figure into things except to create more abandonment issues.

I should point out that this episode reinforced the whole Buddie connection thing - from Eddie holding Buck’s hand the whole while he’s pinned to saying „Almost (back to normal)“ to Buck going to Eddie’s ceremony despite probably still being on somewhat of a bed rest.

Other than that, that’s it for Season 2. Whew!

Before I let ya’ll off the hook, though (look, you’ve read it this far, you can now just bear it a bit longer) I wanna comment real quick:

Compared to Season 1 Buck barely had any character development (mainly because he had so much in Season 1 and sometimes stuff like that needs to settle - real life would be the same way)

Eddie however has nearly no development at all and in fact as of Season 3, not a lot has changed in that regard. His issues just became more obvious. Which is something I actually like a lot, because one: he went through a lot of shit in a fairly short amount of time and two: he is such a stubborn and reserved character, anything else wouldn’t be in character and ultimately feel rushed. Plus, because this is his personality it’s feels like we’re actually getting to know him like you would a person in real life? Piece by piece, no unnecessary exposition. Or maybe that’s just me, I don’t really know anything about storytelling.

I also want to comment on Buddie real quick because it would be dishonest if I didn’t and also it’s just glaring me in the face:

The thing is, while I do not necessarily believe they have any intention of making them romantic (because I have been burned too often and just recently by a show that liked to praise itself for its diversity (so a heartfelt fuck you to Sera Gamble and who ever decided to kill off Quentin Coldwater, because that character mattered so much and you destroyed it)), I do think we are right when we talk about connection and parallels and being each others person and just generally being each others closest relationship. Because they parallel their stories so much and they connect them so often and they did do it from the get go like as early as Episode 4 - which was already written and probably already shot by the time Episode 1 aired. So there. I said it. Buddie is real, wether it’s platonic or romantic, it is real. And that also matters!

(although of course if they went with romantic? That would matter a bit more! Tim Minear, listen to me, you could make TV history! This would be bigger than Supergirl making the sister gay in the second season! Ya’ll would be legends, revered by fans for years to come! Also I’d bake you a cake?)

And there you have it! Season 2! We made it! And only like 2000 words more than Season 1.

Can you believe at this point I have written nearly 10.000 words on these two exceptional characters and their issues? And it’s technically only one issue, like I’m ignoring so much stuff just glaring at me right now!

(also on a side note, this is where I tag @angelcamael , who asked me to do so and @greyhello because she inspired me to write this meta in the first place and while it is now ... no longer about that original topic, I’m still gonna tag her)

[gloriafc]

Telling him you're pregnant *Buck series*

*SWAT crossover*

When you found out the only people you told was, obviously Jessica as she's your boss, Alice, Athena, and Chris. Of course the boys in the HQ were suspicious about all the girls whispering to each other, or constantly texting each other but decided that maybe you girls were just gossiping.

Of course it seemed weird that Jessica was always pulling you to the side during cases and the boys felt like she was keeping you out of the action so you knew you had to plan on telling everyone soon.

You don't know how you managed to keep your excitement in check around Buck because you just wanted to tell him but you knew he'd want his firehouse family involved along with his sister.

Thankfully your birthday was coming up, so you invited everyone over for a small party saying it was to celebrate early so you can visit your family on your actual birthday.

With your plan in motion Alice helped you come up with a way to tell Buck and everyone else. Chris managed to keep the surprise hidden at what was once your house as well, thankful you had moved in with Buck months beforehand.

When the day came you had everything set up for a barbecue, you encouraged everyone to bring their families, setting up games and different activities for everyone. Of course you had to dodge the many "You want me to get you a drink?" that were thrown at you.

Chris managed to help you distract everyone, while Alice took the dog you had to beg Buck to let you get inside. "It's time for our annual pitch." You're quick to explain to the members of the firehouse, "I went to college on a baseball scholarship, not softball, coach saw my curve ball and fast pitch, wanted me on the boys team. Every year they try to top my pitch speed. BUT THEY CANT!"

One by one the guys try and go against your pitch speed, including the guys from the firehouse. When it's your turn Hondo makes Jim play catcher, knowing he doesn't know how fast you actually pitch. "Do your worst Y/N." You smirk as you find your grip on the ball before getting into position and winding your arm back letting the ball soar through Chris's backyard before hearing, "Son of a bitch!" You laugh as you watch Jim shake out his hand, the glove falling off. Jessica laughs from her spot with the speed gun.

"She's still got it." The boys groan as you take a drink from the can of soda.

You watch as Alice opens the sliding door with a smile on her face, your dog following her with his brand new bandana on.

You quickly lace your voice with fake worry as the dog gets closer to you and Buck. "Buck what's on his neck?"

He's quick to turn knowing how much you love your dog, and would kill if anything happened to him. When the dog stops in front of him Athena's quick to grab her phone and starts recording knowing exactly what's about to happen as buck unties the bandana to look at it better.

Buck freezes, rereading the bandana before turning and picking you up spinning you around. "Really?" You nod with a smile on your face, seeing just how happy he actually is about the news.

Everyone looks at the two of you as your feet touch the ground, confused at Bucks sudden outburst. Buck looks at you before looking at his friends and the new people he's grown to think of as friends, "She's pregnant."

You get passed around to all of your friends as they congratulate you and Buck. You finally get to Athena and Bobby, Athena pulling you into a tight hug, Buck figuring out she had something to do with it. "You knew?" "Of course I knew. Nothing happens to this girl that I don't know about."

As the night dies down, everyone packs up left overs before heading out giving you an buck one last congratulations before they leave.

When you get back home you let your dog off his leash, who eagerly runs to play with Bucks cat, as Buck wraps his arms around your waist. "How long did you know?" "Found out a week ago. Told Jess right away to prevent getting put on any calls. I've been getting desk work for the past week while we planned on how to tell everyone. The guys were already asking why I wasn't getting in on the action." Buck can't think of anything to say, the only thought going through his head is how happy he is. Practically reading his mind you say, "I have a doctor's appointment in a couple days. Doc said we'd be able to listen to the heart beat. Didn't want to at the last appointment, was still trying to wrap my head around everything. Already talked to Bobby, he said you can have the time of the appointment off."

When the day of your appointment comes, you drive practically feeling bucks nerves and excitement radiating off of him. The only thing running through his brain is that he doesn't know what to expect.

He holds your hand as you lay on the table staring at the small screen waiting for the image of your baby to show up. You look at his face as he's mesmerized by the tiny bean, only looking at you with unshed tears when the heartbeat echo's through the room.