#trying to invite me out i’m guessing but the thing is i really couldnt go and not to mention i’m pissed bc shes ignored me up until this

[did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star]

ok so this ask is part invitation to ramble/infodump about chemistry stuff and part ask abt why u chose/enjoyed chemistry as ur major (pls idk what to do with my life lol. i like chemistry but idk if its enough to do it like as a career yknow?)

HELLO ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE JUST ASKED FOR

Okay. For starters I actually didn’t go into college with the intent of being a chemist. My original major was secondary education with a focus in chemistry. Aka I wanted to teach high school chem. And that was because of my high school chem teacher, he was amazing and inspired me. I felt like I learned so much in his classes and I wanted to be like him and inspire others

Obviously thats not the route that ended up happening

Throughout my first few years, I got really involved in the chemistry clubs on my campus (ACS, GSE, etc). There was a lot of community in the chemistry department and thats where I made a lot of my friends too. I had people to study with and we helped each other, there wasnt a lot of competition. Once we got to o chem we were all just trying to survive lol.

Meanwhile, in the education department, over the years I grew more and more critical of it. It felt very cold and inhospitable. I barely knew my classmates. It felt more like a job in that it just kinda wore me down. And dont get me wrong! I LOVED my kids. I loved the actual teaching part. It was amazing. I made it all the way to student teaching because of my love for those kids. BUT. After covid hit. The education world got weird. It got too political. Its not about the kids anymore, its about doing whatever administration says. And I just couldnt take it.

A month before I would have graduated, I switched my major. Admittedly, it had been something I was thinking about since my junior year. I had taken analytical and environmental chemistry the same semester and really felt like I found my niche. (Please note here: there is no chemist who is good at all types of chemistry).

I ended up taking a 5th year to finish out a chemistry degree and get a math minor as well. I was really nervous about that decision, but that last year made me feel so much more sure of myself. I took a third analytical class, quantum mechanics, and inorganic chemistry (among other things like biochem). I learned I was *really* good at those things (unlike biochem Im lucky I passed that one). And now I have a job. Doing some instrumental work and data analysis

So I guess my decision to go into chem in the first place is just because the teacher who inspired me happened to be teaching me chemistry (though I was always a fan of science at heart)

As far as liking it enough to make it a career… well… I’ve discovered that I dont think I’m personally going to like anything for 40 hours a week for the rest of my life. And thats probably because Im out of an academic environment now, but yeah. My goal is to be able to have a chemistry job part time. Because full time just kinda makes me dread it. And Im lucky to have things in the works that might let that come to fruition in the next few years, butttttttt. Thats more of a critique on society as a whole than specifically chemistry

[ratbastard0]

i just feel like if i was that important to you, you’d make an effort....

[signedeclipse]

Hii! Can I request a fluffy oneshot of reader (she/her) that has a bad mental health day and does not want to be alone right now/is in need of comfort but they’re struggling with telling Gyutaro that yet he still finds out anyway :c

This is my first ask ever so if I mess it up im sorry! :c You can add any detail you like if I’m too vague! Your writing is amazing either way 🤍

Hooked On Your Love [Gyutaro X Reader]

Reader is Human Female | Fluff

Recomended Song - Addicted To You by Avicii

He really should have guessed that you were unwell, but he was just so comfortable having you around him more often he took it as a good sign.

The way you clung to him a little tighter, invited him to be with you more frequently, how you worried when he'd come back from a mission- all things you did before but now it felt far more personal. Gyutaro figured you just love dhim that much more and let all the signs swoop past him.

Nearly a week of this later, and it seemed your thoughts remained persistant.

At first, you were just stressed from work and having too much on your plate, but then it turned into a few messups, and then you realized not once did Gyutaro ever ask if you were okay or how you were.

You couldnt blame him, he had just as much to do as you did and really, you didnt give him any hints or ask him to. Every chance you got it felt like the words strangled you.

That didn't stop the Upper rank from hearing your sobs on a late night, and rushing to your aid.

It was around 2 in the morning, normally he didnt come back this 'early' but he just wanted to sleep in with you a while longer. It surprised him to notice your lights were still on and you hadn't yet slept, and startled him when he recognized what he thought were whispers to be your tears staining the pillow you clung to.

Gyutaro couldnt help but stare from the doorway, teeth pushing together to form a prominent frown. His chest tightened with anxiety yet he wasnt quite sure how to approach you.

" Gyu...? "

You had spotted him there, eyes wide and doe-like, brimming with tears. His yellow ones snapped ot meet yours, feeling his strong gaze melt away. You looked so tired.

" Yeah, I'm here. " The demon found his way next to you on the bed, pulling your blanket covered form into his lap where he held you bridal-style. His hands pulled the blankets taught so you were secure before pulling you up into his chest.

Your cries picked up, while Gyu could do nothing more than hold you there and allow you to let it all out.

Slowly his free hand moved up to your head, carefully freeing your hair from the blanket and playing with it. He tried to do it the way you did it for him, but he was cautious not to poke you with his sharp nails.

You were stammering throught he tears, trying to explain yourself- but Gyutaro only hushed you and planted a kiss to the top of your head.

" Don't worry about it, i'll take care of you. " He was firm, and confident that he could protect you even from emotions. He would not let you fall any deepe rthan you already had.

Carefully, he pivoted his dangling legs up onto the bed all while leaning back into the pillows. He kept you firm within his grip, laid out against him, and not once did he let go.

He could hear your gentle sigh after squirming about to get comfortable, causing a small smile to form on his lips.

Gyutaro just hoped you'd forgive him for taking so long to notice.

Author Note -  Your request was perfect! Glad to see another anon join me <3 Hope to see you around again! And thank you so much for your kind words!! Please take care of yourself and enjoy <3

Also im sorry this wound up being so short! Kind of my fault for driving myself into the 'fallin asleep after' corner but I hope its still satisfactory <3

Word Count - 543

[lilikags]

Hihi! I don’t know if your taking requests but ignore this if you aren’t😅 I thought having a cute little one shot with kaeya whose picking up seashells and reader so happens to join in having a great time on the small island of the golden acriphelgo or however you spell it- reader has a cryo vision and was trying to make a pathway on the water but a certain redhead ruined it by just being near it and they start bickering back n fourth until kaeya steps in-

I hope you get what I’m trying to say- but have a good day or night! Take care of yourself and stay hydrated byebye!

-🚒

lili | rply ; Yes, I'm always taking requests!

lili | notes ; - kaeya, gn!reader, and diluc (no romance, just good friends having fun- or annoying each other)  - spoilers for the summer event! (somewhat) - fluff - word count: 589 - warnings: one curse word

“Hello there, (Y/N).”

You looked down, finding Kaeya crouching down on the sand. A light breeze whistled between the two of you, carrying the light scent of the ocean. 

“Hey, mind if I join you?” you asked, crouching down beside him, admiring the seashells as well. 

“Sure, I don’t mind at all,” he gave you a smile and invited you to join him. “Enjoying the view?”

“Yeah, view’s nice but it’s quite hot here. Guess our cryo visions just don’t like it.” you tried to fan yourself with your hand, though it made little difference.

“Then maybe we can use our visions to make it better,” Kaeya poked you, lacing his finger with just a little cryo. You flinched at the sudden cold, your skin tensing up at the quick change in temperature. 

You laughed at the joke, and poked him back with a bit of cryo as well, earning a laugh from him as well. There was a moment of silence, looking into the glowing sunset. It was a comfortable silence, one you only were able to enjoy with close friends. 

It was getting late, and with no Fatui or treasure in sight at the moment, the two of you figured you’d find a place to stay for the night. It was damp, perhaps it was the large body of water at your feet, but rain seemed like a likely possibility as well, with the abundance of clouds hanging over you. 

“That island seems good for tonight, I see a nice cave over on the north side, wanna go check it out?” 

Kaeya took a look at the island himself before answering, “Sounds like a wonderful idea to me.” He turned to Diluc, who seemed to be thinking. “What about you? Too busy to scout out places to rest tonight?” 

“If you’re busy or something, it’s fine, but I think it’d be a good time to see where we’d be for the next few hours. We still have to find Albedo and Razor, but with this pending rain, it seems we won’t be able to,” you urged him. It’s not like he really needed to come, since even just you were enough, but it would be nice to be with the two of them just like the old days. 

“Alright,” he nodded his head. 

-----------------------------------

"Diluc, take off your jacket.” 

“(Y/N), this is just my natural body heat.”

“What the- how are you still alive?”

“It seems that this isn’t working... hm...” Kaeya unnecessarily commented, a slight smile on his face. 

“No shit, sherlock,” you retorted. 

You’d been at this for a while, and it was clear that you were not going to make an effective ice bridge- all because Diluc kept melting it. Maybe he was doing it on purpose, maybe he wasn’t, you didn’t know. In any case, you couldnt’ get to the island. It wasn’t 20 feet away, it was more like 100 and you needed an ice bridge to get there. You had tried to keep the bridge up and freezing for him, but every time, he melted the entire thing. 

“Don’t interrupt my bridge. Stay there, dumb bird lover,” you stuck your tongue out at him and threw a small icicle at him. 

“Weren’t you the one who wanted me to come along? Now you’re telling me to go back when we’re already halfway there? Ridiculous.” Diluc melted the ice thrown at him.

“Now, now, let’s not go into combat before the bridge melts.” 

Well, maybe this could continue once you get there. 

taglist: @paradise-creator

[17tetsuro]

could u do fake dating headcanons where they slowly fall for u w atsumu, kenma & oikawa,, gn pronounces are fine :)

haikyuu boys slowly falling for you (fake dating edition) (gn!reader)

feat: atsumu, kenma, oikawa

warnings: fake dating, abuse of cliche tropes and commas and question marks, timeskip setting because im anything but creative, swearing

requests are open!

a/n: thank you for requesting this!! i hope you like it :D

atsumu

* you’ve been friends with him ever since high school and you watched his career grow

* youre both equally proud of each other n your friendship is built on mutual respect, trust and love

* you basically live in his apartment, with how much time you spend over there

* he would complain 24/7 about not having anyone to go to events with

* at one point you wanted to strangle him for never shutting up about it so you propose you go with him from time to time

* atsumu: “yeah, that was a setup”

* he KNOWS you’re drop dead gorgeous and everyone will be jealous of him that you’re with him (and you also look very good in formalwear, which he very much enjoys)

* and you get to have free food and drinks and also wear immaculate expensive clothes

* so,, you became his regular date for sponsorship events and stuff

* and you never really outright said you were just friends?? so you’re used to the media portraying you two as lovers but your close circle is aware that your relationship is platonic

* everything was going great until one of his sponsor company’s heir started hitting on you

* atsumu saw you flirting with the person and his mind went blank

* he,, he didn’t understand why he wanted to commit multiple crimes on the spot

* bokuto conveniently showed up next to atsumu at that moment

“hey, atsumu? why is your date flirting with them?” bokuto asked, suddenly appearing next to atsumu, which startled the latter out of his thoughts.

a better question would be why atsumu saw red at the thought of you getting friendly with anyone but him that night. he tried his best to keep his composure, but it was hard when you rested a hand on the heir’s shoulder, leaning your head back while laughing.

“atsumu, are you not going to answer me? your lover is-“

“my what?” atsumu asked, attention now completely off you.

“your lover? is that a term you don’t like? i could say partner... significant other... or anything you want, really,” bokuto answered, apologizing.

“you- you think me and (y/n) are together?”

“aren’t you? what, with the way you look at each other i was convinced you two were like... high school sweethearts or something, who hate pda,” bokuto explained, while atsumu’s eyes trailed back to you.

“you think... you think they’d wan’ me?”

“are you blind, buddy?”

you must have sensed their gazes, because as soon as those words left bokuto’s mouth, your eyes snapped towards atsumu and bokuto. the latter started waving with a cheerful smile while the former just stood, entranced by you and your presence. atsumu noticed traces of confusion appearing on your face, and watched as you excused yourself from the conversation you were previously interested in.

“‘tsumu, are you alright?” you questioned, approaching the pair. bokuto grinned and left, which made you even more confused.

“yeah, i’m fi- fine. hey, uh, (y/n), say... do you- why did you offer to come to these events as my date?” atsumu asked, eyes dead set on yours. you cracked a confused smile. you seemed to be capable of nothing but confusion at the moment.

“because you’re my best friend and i hated to see you so down because of your loneliness at these gatherings,” you replied, holding his gaze. “why didn’t you oppose it?”

his eyes studied you and when he saw nothing but sincerity, he let out a loud sigh. this was all very new and confusing to him. it’s like bokuto calling you atsumu’s lover set off a bomb inside his head that instead of causing a mess, made everything fall into place; why his gaze seemed to linger on you more often than before, why he was so eager to choose your outfits for these events, why he went to parties he didn’t even have to attend, why he got so jealous and angry when he saw you with the cute heir.

“holy shit,” he breathed and ran his hands through his hair, letting out a nervous chuckle and lowering his gaze to the ground. “holy shit.”

“you look like you’ve been enlightened, and i love that for you, but ‘tsumu, i’m still very confused.”

“i’m in love with you,” he said in disbelief, and quickly snapped his eyes back to your face when he realized he said it out loud. “i- i mean- i’m not in love with you, no way in hell, you’re- you’re my best friend, you- you smack my head whenever i say somethin’ inappropriate, you keep me from underminin’ myself, you always lift my spirits and for fuck’s sake, please, stop lookin’ at me like that because i will be getting hopeful and if you’re just joking, i will never hear the end of it and-“

you finally hd enough of his rambling and cut him off with a kiss. at first he froze, but seconds later he melted into your embrace, hands sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer.

when your lips separated, atsumu gasping for air after his word vomit and the long kiss you shared, you spoke up. “miya atsumu, you’re a real dumbass, you know that?”

his breath hitched and you kept quiet for a second to let him suffer a bit.

“but you’re my dumbass. i love you, you absolute piece of work.”

atsumu honest to god giggled and leaned in for another kiss, which you gave him without hesitation.

somewhere in the room, bokuto was collecting the money sakusa promised to give him if he got you two to kiss.

kenma

* kenma and you are both twitch streamers with similar content so you knew of each other but weren’t properly introduced

* until one of your mutual friends invited you both to stream among us with them

* you obv accepted

* so during the 3 hr stream, you and kenma were imposters together a lot and had the biggest, most twisted imp plays

* a friendly competition broke out at one point, too, trying to see who exposed the most impostors between the two of you

* your fans ate your dynamic up

* from then on, you two interacted more and started to appear in each others’ streams

* kenma even invited you to his minecraft smp

* you became besties basically

* SO

* all fun and games

* and then a huge sponsorship opportunity rolled in

* and the people at the company assumed you were dating

* uh oh

* you couldnt just tell them they have it wrong bc the whole thing depended on your relationship

* so

* big brain kenma suggest you two start to “date”

* you were against deceiving your followers but kenma assured you you could have a public breakup and tell everyone you were better off as friends

* so you reluctantly agreed

* it was only for two months anyways, what could go wrong?

* both of you, on week 3, in separate discord calls: uh oh, im in l*ve

* you both tried to cope (read: repress everything) but the realization on both of your parts threw your dynamic off a bit and fans have noticed

* so you had to do something abt it

* so kenma suggested you try your hand at a minecraft challenge together

* it was all fun and games until it wasnt

* you somehow ended up flirting back and forth ????

* chat was goin crazy, even in sub only mode

* both of you: ha ha im in danger

* when the stream ended, you stayed on call, because that was a routine you stuck to no matter what

“so... how are you doing?” you asked kenma, trying to clear the awkwardness from the air.

“good.”

maybe you should have taken kenma’s refusal to talk about anything into account when initiating conversation.

kenma, on the other end of the call was anxiously playing with his fingers, trying to figure out if his chat was right, and you were indeed flirting with him. and him with you. god.

“hey, y/n,” kenma said after a while, “were you flirting with me?”

his bluntness startled you and you had to mute yourself for a few seconds while you collected yourself.

“is there a correct answer?” you asked hesitantly.

“yes.”

“oh... uhm, maybe? it wasn’t intentional. or maybe it was, subconsciously, i don’t know,” you admitted quietly.

“good. it was intentional on my part, i think,” and okay, that was not the reply you expected to hear.

“really?”

“yeah, i- i like you i guess,” he said, sounding more confident by the minute. “do you like me too?”

“i- yeah. i do. i like you, kenma,” you replied, sighing a breath of relief. it felt good to admit it aloud to him.

“do you- would you maybe want to come over?” he asked sheepishly, which made absolutely no sense because he sounded so confident a second ago. “we could play mario kart?”

you let the beaming smile you were holding back take over your face. “i’ll be there in 10, kenma.”

“i’ll be waiting for you.”

oikawa

* on god mans hated your guts

* like,, okay, you were iwa’s close friend but you were so annoyingly honest all the time

* it drove him mad

* what also drove him mad is the fact that you loved to tease him

* no matter what the circumstance, whether he was in japan or in argentina, you always found a way to make him blush

* okay so maybe hate is a strong word, because he kind of thought you were pretty, but in a platonic way

* dumbass

* iwa always give both of you shit for not liking each other

* so you came up with a big brain idea

* you: ”oikawa! we should date!”

* oikawa: “what”

* after you explained the concept of fake dating to him and its benefits (which included a staged dramatic breakup, giving you both a reason to hate each other without iwa complaining)

* he was totally down

* iwa, when he first saw you holding hands: “i knew it”

* SO!! thus began weeks of pretending to be in love with each other for the sake of iwa

* which turned from pretending to not pretending real quick for your liking

* falling in love with oikawa was not a plan of yours

* (falling in love with you wasn’t his, either)

* with iwa’s constant nagging of “i knew it, you both were head over heels for each other from the moment you met”, the time for the breakup came quicker than expected (maybe you both had enough. so what.)

* you agreed to do it in front of iwa so he could see it happen

* you chose a mcdonalds parking lot, because then you could storm off and iwa would follow you to make sure you were ok and oikawa could go home and sleep

* maybe winging it was not the best idea

“babe,” you said with venom, “haven’t i told you a thousand times that i do not want to hear about your exes? seriously, it’s like the only thing you talk about,” you complained, as your fake-boyfriend took a sip from his drink.

“well, babe,” his tone matching yours, “i would shut up about them if took the hint sometimes. maybe i don’t like going to the movies as much as you seem to, it’s boring,” he rolled his eyes, subtly glancing at iwa, who looked very uncomfortable third wheeling your argument. good

“jerk. i don’t even want to go to the movies that much, asshole,” you spat, crushing your empty cup in your hand.

“oh, you want to go to the movies plenty. face it, (y/n), you’re boring. no wonder you didn’t have a boyfriend before me,” he replied and his words, even though you knew were fake, still hit hard and you couldn’t help the tears gathering in your eyes.

“okay, then, thanks for these wonderful past few weeks, so glad you decided to take pity on me.” you tried to keep acting, encouraging yourself with the fact that if oikwa meant what he said, you wouldn’t have to talk to him if iwaizumi finally saw you two break up.

you expected a lot of things, but genuineness in oikawa’s eyes was not one of them.

“(y/n), i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it like that,” oikawa pleaded, clearly forgetting about your mutual goal.

with a mumbled whatever, you started walking home, letting the sunset wash over your face. when you knew you were out of sight, you sat down on a bench and just started crying.

you don’t know how much time passed, but you heard a voice behind you speak up.

“hey (y/n).”

“what the fuck do you want, oikawa? to rub in the fact that my first boyfriend was just faking it so his best friend would get off his back? leave me alone, jerk,” you said, trying to wipe your tears away.

“i- i didn’t mean it like that, please, believe me,” he replied, taking a seat next to you. you scooted away from him. he sighed.

“why would i believe you? why do you want to make up, anyways? this fight was pretty real, no way iwaizumi didn’t believe it,” you sniffed.

“because maybe... maybe i was very happy about the fact that i could be your boyfriend, even if it was fake. maybe i’m in love with you,” he said softly, leaning towards you.

“please, stop playing games. it’s over,” you replied, trying very hard to ignore the raw emotion in his voice as he spoke.

“i really am, (y/n). i wasn’t at first, i admit it, but now i am. i love you, please, believe me,” he begged and you finally made eye contact with him. eyes were mirrors of the soul, after all.

you studied his face for a few minutes, looking for anything that could indicate he was trying to pull a shit prank on you, but you found nothing.

“asshole. maybe i’m in love with you too, what would you do if i said that?” you asked, wiping your nose with your sleeves.

“kiss you.”

“do it, then, i guess. but you’re still not completely forgiven.”

“what do i have to do to earn your forgiveness, (y/n)?” he asked and you sent him a mischievous smile.

“take the blame for this whole fiasco with iwaizumi.” he froze at your words and visibly gulped, but nodded nonetheless.

“okay, i will. can i kiss you now?”

you rolled your eyes. “yeah.”

and he did.

[xgryffinwhore]

can you do something with bev🥺 like it can be literally anything - it’s just so hard to find stuff on her

I KNOW RIGHT!!! bev content is lackingg!! don’t worry, i got you

the right words to say

warnings: bev x fem reader!!! soft fluffiness heh. and smoking. aaaand language.

word count: 1.2k

her fiery locks bounced short on her head as she road fleeing sherman lane. her crew socks and worn out reebok’s peddling her rusty bike down the slope of the asphalt. lose floral sundress flying back from her sped, the cuts and scars on her legs exposed. some fresh, from your recent adventures.

she is your best friend, always will be. ever since you two met each other, your souls intertwined. she’s cool, cooler than anyone you’ve ever met. she’s stubborn, can be such a prick sometimes. but she’s beautiful, in a friend sort of way. yeah, just in a friend way. right?

to be honest you had no idea. sure, you were in highschool, you had boyfriends and you liked your boyfriends. but your boyfriends didn’t act like bev, they didn’t speak like bev, and they sure and hell didn’t smell like her(like the perfume she stole from the mall; citrusy with a touch of musk.

it was just a girl thing though, it was normal to think your friends were pretty and shit. everything you were feeling is NORMAL. it’s normal to blush when you think of your friends, it’s normal to stare at them when they’re not looking, and it’s normal to imagine their lips on yours so soft an-

“l/n” bev mused “you seriously need to go to bed earlier, it’s like i’m pulling you down from jupiter.” you shook your head and looked back at bev, her break stand on the gravel and her foot dangling from the bike seat where she perched.

“sorry marsh, i’m good now” you threw your bike on the ground and began walking with her toward the quarry. the water was a deep turquoise today, matching your bra you used for a bathing suit.

you both stripped eagerly, the summer sun making your skin hot to the touch. she wore a white bra and pantie set, with little pink polka dots. “nice lingerie” she joked, pointing at your black underwear with a small duck on them. “shut it bev.”

you held yourself hand out in an invitation to hers, you always held hands and jumped in together. her hand clasped yours, it was rough and calloused from the days she spent climbing up trees to get away from henry and gretta. before you had time to think bev had jumped, her weight pulling you with her.

the water always felt the same, frigid. it was refreshing on the days that you couldn’t walk on the asphalt barefoot without burning the soles of your feet.

beverley’s head popped up shortly after yours, she slicked her amber locks back and inhaled deeply. your bodies floated on the stagnant water, for a while actually, it was so peaceful.

your bodies migrated to the shallow part of the quarry, a little place you and her called ‘pebble palace.’ she handed you a opaque stone “pebble for your thoughts” she always did that. you took the pebble and rubbed it in between your index finger and thumb. “dont really have any right now” you breathed, your mind crowded with every thought imaginable.

“well i have one” she stole the stone back from you, “scared for highschool to start back up, if ‘m bein honest” she skipped the stone into the water, that’s what you two did. after a pebble-thought has shared, you had to throw the pebble back into the water.

school was closer then you’d like to admit, a week left of days like this. you picked up a pebble and threw it in the water, “still get to see you though, so i’m not too bummed.” she smiled like the always did, “yeah, it’s that aspect isn’t as sucky”

she laid back on one of the rocks, she usually naps around this time after we are done swimming. the sun captured her perfectly, her freckles looked like constellations and her limbs were loose and relaxed. she was alluring.

her nap was short lived, the sun was hot, you both mutually agreed to go back into the water. she splashed you "so, you still talking to kent?" she asked, you looked down and smiled "nah, too boring." you both splashed each other and she prodded "but why not? too pretty to be riding solo"

that made you blush under your sun burnt skin, she took noticed and continued "probably the most gorgeous girl in this town" she traced her fingers along your jaw "soft on the eyes" she slurred.

you stood there idle, why was she doing this to you?

"such pretty hair" with her other hand she rain her fingers through your damp ends "and eyes" she titled up your head to make eye contact with her. she was close now, you could smell the lilac candies on her breathe. you both subconsciously gravitated closer to each other, you lips almost brushing. your breath became audible, the tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

you turned around and regulated your air flow. "what the fuck marsh" you cursed "what the fuck is happening?" you carded your locks through your fingers, your world running in circles around you. "im sorry y/n- i thought you liked it!" she sloshed her legs through the water to be face-to-face to you once again.

"what are you trying to do to me?" your feeling welled up in the corners of your eyes and began to drip down your face. " y/n, i thought you and me and some -eh- chemistry?" your eyes went blank, homosexuality was a ew concept in the 80's. sure, men homosexuality was well known but female? barley heard of, basically only in porn (which you may or may not have watched.)

"bev- we cant be into each other" you laughed nervously "we are friends, we are GIRLS, we cant like each other." beverley's face dropped in disbelief "i see the way you look at me l/n, you cant fake that type of shit" you tried to stop her but she kept going:

"youre the only person who makes me feel something, youre the light of my life. youre not like anyone else, better than any stupid boy. youre everything y/n, everything."

your words stumbled together, you couldnt form a sentence if your life depended on it. "i- well thats so nice of you ca- i feel that som- well no that you r- like agree-" she hushed you with a kiss, fire works went off in your head. kissing a girl felt so much better then kissing a guy.

you spent the rest of the evening holding hands and walking around the forest 'no i thought you were so pretty' 'i think ive like you forever, swear to god!'

bev and you road back to your house, your curfew was soon. "so" bev started "ive been dropping hints for like- ever- why didnt you stay anything?"

you bit your lip in contemplation; you were never really good with phrasing things. "i guess i was just looking for the right words to say" you bashed. "and that is" bev leaned in "i love you" you whispered, she answered by kissing you one last time before the sun fell behind the horizon.

[caermis]

❝Ikanaide.❞

❖Oikawa T. X Iwaizumi H. X Black! Reader

❖Reader: GN

❖Characters:

↠Oikawa T. 

↠ Iwaizumi H.

❖Word Count: 1.1k

❖Warnings: ↠Sad angst

❖Prompt: Don't go.

❖Notes: ↠Made myself cry- ↠Use this song while you read ❝Ikanaide.❞ 

"It's nothing," I kept to myself.

❖Walking through the train station, your luggage following behind you as you slipped through the crowd. Oikawa walked behind you, hands tucked into his pockets, a forced grin on his face.

Truth is, I wanted to stop those footsteps for a moment,

❖Iwaizumi following close behind, a present scowl on his face. Walking excitedly through the train, your train ticket held tight in your hand. A wide smile across your lips.

But you're gliding forward with such quick steps

❖America. This train would take you to the airport and then from there you'd get on a plane. Leaving Japan for god knows how long. They couldn't bring themselves to say they want you to stay with them. 

And I'm simply watching.

❖Arriving at your part of the train and facing them with a wide smile, and giving them both longs hugs, it was the last train and you couldnt afford to miss it. Promising to never forget them and how much fun you've had while in Japan.

On the last train, you board, leaving me behind.

❖Waving your last goodbye before climbing onto the train. The station announcing its last call. Both of their forced smile dropping. They shouldve been happy for you.

It departs on, slowly, and the ground slides away

❖Iwaizumi clutches his fist as his eyes burn, watching your train leave. Oikawa harshly biting his bottom lip. 

Don't cry, just don't cry,

❖Their eyes watching your train move farther and farther away. It wasn't some horrible nightmare. This was reality. 

But the truth is, I want to say it out loud,

❖Trying to stop the tears, Oikawa slammed his hand over his mouth, tearing his eyes from the train to the ground. Iwaizumi doing the same. 

"Ikanaide,"

❖How many months has it been? Oikawa spiked the volleyball, completely immersed in his practice. His hands riddled with sores and blisters, yet he couldn't stop. He couldn't afford to stop.

You fade out of sight, far, far away, leaving me behind.

❖Stretching the soreness of his muscles. Iwaizumi’s eyes remained on his phone, texting his old friend about the upcoming festival. It wasn't like either of them honestly wanted to go, but you enjoyed the festivals in Japan and a part of them hoped you'd be there.

I can't quite see it anymore, that night crumbles apart.

❖Walking side by side through the crowd, Oikawa trying to make the best of the situation and ignore the ache in his chest as he passed familiar vendors. 

Don't cry, just don't cry,

But the truth is, I want to say it out loud,

❖Iwaizumi stops in place. It was you, really you, walking amongst the crowd with a few other friends. Yet he couldn't bring himself to run towards you. Following his gaze, Oikawa froze, watching you disappear within the sea of people.

"Ikanaide"

❖Twisting back and forth on the uncomfortable mattress, the blanket pooled at his legs as he struggled. The heat of his apartment making him sweat profusely before sitting up in vain. Careful not to disturb Oikawa that rested peacefully.

When the festival's past, I came to know that

The night as usual always arrives just after

❖Iwaizumi silently moves out to the balcony, a soft sigh leaving his mouth as the cold air brushes against him. They searched for you but found no signs of you at the festival, which seemed to pass so quickly.

But you looked much more alluring than usual

❖Oikawa slowly opening his eyes, awakening from his dream. It was about you. Shifting onto his back, his hands rubbing his face harshly before sitting up. His gaze moves towards the window, staring at the moon as a frown graces his features.

And I'm simply watching.

❖They had won! The cheers rippled through the crowd. This was a joyous moment, so why was he so sad. Oikawa scanned the crowd, far to large and diverse to pinpoint you, if you were even there.

Only time alone passes by, carrying me along

❖Iwaizumi walks home alone, his eyes on his phone as he watches Oikawa play from across the world. The sun setting a few hours ago, but he was ok with it. In a way, it felt sorta….Nostalgic.

The way home, it's somewhat dark, but I guess I'm okay on my own

❖A part of him seems to forget as he speeds up his past. You had a bad habit of waiting out in the dark under the streetlight, which always made Iwaizumi worry. Stopping in his tracks, you weren't there.

Street lamps, they shine on me, making a shadow.

❖Dropping his hands to the side and walking past the empty streetlight. 

I'm all alone...

❖Why hadn't you contacted them? Why hadn't you called and made sure they were doing alright? But why hadn't they called you? Neither of them tried and every day, a little bit of you from their apartment went missing.

You fade out of sight, far, far away, leaving me behind.

❖You appeared on TV with the same large grin on your face. Finally, accomplishing your biggest dream. They were proud of you, how could they not.

Completely. Once again, the night blurs itself out,

❖Marriage. You were getting married. Their hearts broke, but they were happy for you.

Don't cry, just don't cry,

❖A letter soon arrived in their mail. An invitation from you. To your wedding. You hadn't forgotten about them. Before they knew it, they were on the next plane to America, where your wedding was being held. 

But the truth is, I want to say it out loud,

❖Going through the normal things, your big day had arrived, and they both were seated near the front. Just as the music started, you appear. Beautiful. A wide smile gracing your angelic features. They wanted to be happy for you.

"Ikanaide, "

❖Watching you say your vows that would tie you and your Lover together. They wanted so badly to object, yet they couldn't. As if they were frozen in their seats.

Don't cry, just don't cry,

❖After the ceremony, they finally got a chance to talk to you. Rambling about how the prior years had gone, you simply smiled at them. Saying how you tried to find them but forgot their phone numbers and how you felt bad, and they were still important to you. Their mouths went dry, only able to nod along.

But the truth is, I want to say it out loud,

❖Hearing your name be called, you turned to leave. Without thinking, they grabbed your wrist, forcing you to look back at them. Your smile dropping.

❖"Dont go."

[suna-is-the-loml]

two days

pairing: tsukkishima x reader

genre: slight fluff then slight angsty???

word count: 1.3k LOL

a/n:  i am in love with salty frenchfry and this is cringe station so enjoy this really badly written fluff +angst or something bye <3

yes i love the number 3

3 years, 3 whole years kei spent loving you, yet his dumbass still hadnt confessed till today, today of all days,that is 3 days before you were leaving.

he was hurt, he wanted to tell you he loves you, he couldnt muster the courage to do so. quite ironic for someone who is salty asf LMAO, he always had a soft spot for you, he knew you were someone important to him, he just couldnt figure out how.

he thought he knew you so well, or so he thought.

he didnt know you were in too deep for him too, he didnt know youd take a bullet for him, he didnt know you got jealous everytime some other girl flirts with him, he didnt know how much you defended him, he didnt know you rejected the confessions for kei. (kei being the dumbass thought you rejected the confessions because you wanted to concentrate on your sport). 

he wonders how many minutes he spent adoring you, how many seconds he spent loving you because how much ever that was, he knew it wasnt enough. he loves you. a lot. and you deserve all the love

he wanted to tell you.

you are vvsmart but dumb enough to not realise your best friend was in love with you big time. you knew your goodbye party will involve alcohol sO you had it 3 days before you left because you hated hangovers.

you wanted to confess to kei. whats the probability that he would like you back?, the worse thing he could say was “i never want to see you again’’ which works because you were leaving japan anyway.

the day after the party- today seems good, its perfect actually, you message him

“hey, wanna come over? :D”

kei looks at his phone, as your name popped up in his notifications he felt himself smile.

sure :)

kei knew he had to say it today, its either today or never

you took a deep breath. ‘tell him today’ you told yourself.

it was around 7pm when he finNALLY came over. kei had your favourite chips packet with him. smiling at him fondly you invited him to your room. it was natural. everything felt home with kei.

you wanted to confess but you wanted to see how he feels about you first- atleast maybe an idea.

“hey kei, guess what?”

he looked at you with a twinkle, he smirked as he looked into your eyes.

“i am in love with someone”

‘huh? what? love? does she like no ‘love’ someone ? oh, not me thats for sure’ kei’s mind ran spewing thoughts. he was not able to say anything. he was surprised. no surprised was an understatemeant. he was seething with jealousy, pity, sadness, betrayal, he could feel his heart break into two. he kept a stoic face and whispered ‘‘oh?’’ with his eyes no longer being in contact with yours.

you smiled, you knew, you knew what he was feeling, afterall you have felt the same so many times whenever someone flirts with him. you knew he liked you but you wanted him to confirm it. you whispered “kei? is everything okay?”

kei finally looked at you again, “y/n”

“i love you” kei finally said. he closed his eyes and turned away from you, he was scared to see our expression.

“aww kei, i love you too” you said as you reached out to hold his hand. he immediately took it and squeezed it. 

he looked at you again with the same fond expression “ no dummy i love you in a romantic way, i am in love with you”

you looked at him with a dumbfounded expression “ kei i am in love with you too, in a romantic way”

he felt his adrenaline pushing himself towards you, as if on instinct he cupped your cheeks and kissed you. he kissed you softly hoping the kiss would convey how much he loves you.

he whispers against your lips “you have no idea how much ive wanted to do this dummy”

“kei, i’m gonna leave in 2 days” you remind him after a steamy makeout session

his face immediately falls

“what are we kei”

“i dont know best friends to lovers trope?” he said hoping to avoid that topic. the fact that you, his love is finally with him and that you will be leaving you in two days.

you laughed and then pulled a serious expression “ kei tsukishima, what are we” you asked squeezing his hand.

“hmm, lemme think about it” kei taunts you, you pulled out your best puppy dog eyes and pouted at him and he had the audacity to smirk at you. you turned away from him and stared at the corner because suddenly?? it?? seemed?? interesting??

you felt yourself pulled to his lap. he looked at you, his eyes filled with love he whispered “ y/n i love you a lot but i-” you interrupted him with a kiss, “i know kei, its gonna be hard but can we fall in love for the night atleast?’’

“yes y/n we can” he said lovingly.

its been exactly 16 months since you’ve left. 16 months since the magical day- the day he kissed you for the first time,the day he confessed to you, he remembers every minute of those two days.

he sighed and plopped on his headphones.

now playing- lets fall in love for the night by finneas

Let's fall in love for the night And forget in the morning Play me a song that you like You can bet I'll know every line

he remembers how you both fell more in love the last two days. he remembers the day you shared the playlist you made, mainly consisting of finneas’s songs. he saw how happy you were when you listened to your playlist commenting on how its a masterpiece. he remembers the day he realised he was in love with you. he remembers your ‘jamming’ sessions as you both sang your hearts out.

he closed his eyes as he remembered the day your first boyfriend kissed you, how he was seeping with jealousy, how he badly wanted to be your first kiss. it was then he realised he loved you. revisiting his memories with you always calmed him down, you stole his heart afterall.

keeping in touch with you has been a little difficult considering college and the different time zones, yet you both tried to keep in contact with each other

I'm the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid Don't waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise I know better than to call you mine

he remembered how your first boyfriend tried to stop meeting him and how your ex sometimes crashed you both hanging out together at your place. kei knew that your ex was jealous, yet you stuck by him considering that was your first relationship. after you broke up, you were sad and he was there to comfort you. he was always there for you.

he knew what was the best for you, but he also knew that you werent his. he couldnt stop you from dating who you want.

You need a pick me up I'll be there in twenty five I like to push my luck So take my hand, let's take a drive

he remembers the late night calls and how he would show up at your door exactly in 27 minutes when you call him over. he remembers how you used to persuade your parents so he can stay over for the night, he remembers how you used to cringe at the cheesy romcom scenes, he remembers how you fell asleep on him,he remembers how happy you were when you finally got your favourite college acception letter. he remembers how happy you were when karasuno reached nationals. he misses you a lot.

I've been living in the future Hoping I might see you sooner I want you riding shotgun I knew When I got one right

he was so happy found out he was significant in your life. he imagines a life with you by his side, he imagines smaller versions of you both running in the house. he knew it was going to be tough, so after around 7 months, he ghosted you for a whole month. you were hEARTBROKEN. did you go wrong somewhere? does he not love you anymore? overwhelmed with anger and heartbreak you ghosted him back. but he didnt even try to hold a conversation with you, he didnt ask any questions, he didnt call you too. was he done with you? was this it? you were done, done being heartbroken and done waiting.

but ghosting you just made him miss you more. was it a bad idea? he wanted to hear your voice so bad but he knew it will just make him miss you more, instead he started to concentrate completely on college and tried to remove you from his mind, he tried removing you from his life, but he couldnt, not a single minute goes by without him remembering the little things about you. he knew he was gone from your life when you ghosted him back. 

 he wants you, he wonders if you feel the same way he does. have you moved on?have you found someone else? did you fall out of love with him? 

he wanted to move on but he was hopeless, hopelessly in love with you,

how he wished he could relive those two days forever

a/n again?: JSJSJSJSJS THIS became longer than i expected?? the second slight angsty part was heavily inspired by let's fall in love for the night by FINNEAS ahh i love his songs sm  

[ennui-gt]

rhhghghg i guess i should talk a bit abt things

this is ABSOLUTELY NOT an invitation to like jump in my inbox and discuss my opinions or whatever. do not do that. i'm only talking about this one (1) time and then it's never coming up again. i think for most ppl, gt is a comfort, as it is for me, so, this is more of an. idk. vent of general frustrations? more under the tag. idk if i can even call these takes, more like just a general clarification of where i stand on things. And then it's gonna be back to regularly scheduled whatever.

so, if i don't mention it here but you saw it in one of the Haute Takes posts i rb'd, i basically feel neutral about whatever the hell got said there. couldnt care one way or the other. 1- RPF

don't like it. dont really give a damn about ppls characters rly but this is Different. This is taking a person who ALREADY EXISTS and caricaturing them (without their knowledge OR consent) to fit within the parameters of what you believe them to be like, or to fit a particular narrative. I'm very, strongly against this. 2- the fucking fat ppl stuff

Yeah hi, as a fellow chubby, tiny-aligned individual, please, for the love of fuck, don't woobify a fat person on the basis of their fatness. Thanks. Again, i'm not gonna be talking about this in detail because I've Got Some Baggage Here and i refuse to let it spill out on a public forum. Also strongly against this. Anyway. 3- comfort vs violence

so. i get that a lot of us use this as a coping mechanism for shit we've experienced and whatnot. i think largely my issue w the fluffy side of things is more based in the fact that I feel like I can't post grittier content, or like it doesn't get enough notes or whatever and I feel kinda shitty about that? that's it. like i enjoy both the fluffier end of things AND the fearplay aspects of gt almost equally, i just tend to lean more towards the fucked up end when it comes to my own work and for the LONGEST time I felt like i couldn't engage w this community or post that shit without getting some sort of backlash. in summary of the 3rd Thing, i don't actually care what you post, I just want to be able to post my own OCs going feral without people trying to either justify their actions or condemn me for making them Like That.

[99adelheid99]

cool so since I’m procrastinating anyways on my school work im just going to write a character study on beast! dazai

because I re read it and im sad and asagiri just loves to make everyone suffer

so spoilers for the beast au

((BTW IM SO SORRY TUMBLR MOBILE ISN’T LETTING ME CUT THE POST TO A READ MORE SO IM GOING TO TRY TO DO IT ON MY PC AND HOPE IT WORKS IF IT DOESNT IM SO SORRY;;;; ))

asagiri has already decided to make dazai a tragic character and break our hearts once, but he decided to also rip them out and spit on it.

in the canon world, we see dazai struggle through depression. ever since he was young he found there was no value in living as he says to mori in the fifteen arc. he tries throughout his life desperately to understand just why humans strive to live, why they fight so hard for their lives and work hard to live life to the fullest.

it’s no different in the many other worlds The Book had created, and that lonely hole in his chest is probably much bigger.

as explained by dazai in the light novel, the power of The Book does not effect him because of his ability, since The Book itself is an ability, dazai naturally cancels it out. because of this, dazai can practically “read his own memories” from the canon world. so he knows everything that happens in the original universe, that goes for every single dazai in every single au. every single one.

this in itself is probably one of the saddest things. if people not understanding dazai didn’t hurt enough in the canon world, imagine how horrible it is that the beast! dazai had suffer with this knowledge alone, because as mentioned, it’s not wise for a lot of people to know about The Book since the world they reside in will become unstable, and have a chance of disappearing.

at the end of the light novel we also learn of dazai’s plan. why he captured gin, and why he wanted to bring akutagawa and atsushi together.

it was for odasaku.

because dazai has the memories from his “original” self, he remember odasaku. he remembers how he died, he remembers that they were best friends, he remembers how odasaku was the only person who understood dazai to his core, he remember how much odasaku means to him.

but odasaku of this world doesn’t remember it at all. because to him it never happened. there is only the beast world and the beast world alone.

this is where the angst hits (harder lol)

dazai figures out (at some time idk when) that this is the only universe that odasaku survives (im not sure how exactly, im assuming he can read the memories of the other dazais? Idk)

he remembers odasakus passionate of becoming a writer, he remembers odasakus determination not to kill just so he could write his own novel.

and because I really do believe dazai has a heart shrouded in all that darkness, dazai wants the best for odasaku, dazai wants to make it so odasaku can continue to survive and write his novel.

so dazai being dazai makes this extremely elaborate extra ass plan to make sure it happens.

dazai knows that this world has a chance of disappearing since every time something is written down in The Book in any other au (I think? I believe it can be any one of them not just the canon one) The Book doesn’t create it out of nothing exactly, but borrows from other worlds to create what is written in the book to reality.

dazai’s afraid that this world might cease to exist, and if it does odasaku won’t get to write his novel in this only universe he survives in, odasaku won’t he happy and dazai doesnt want that.

now extra ass osamu here uses a lot of cruel tactics to get to his end goal, and it isn’t right at all, but I still have to sympathize because its just so painful lmao

during akutagawa and atsushi’s final battle, dazai goes to the lupin bar where he meets odasaku for the first time in this world. I feel like dazai fought with himself a lot not to visit odasaku during this time, probably wanting to do nothing else but to run to his old friend that he missed so damn much. and I think he couldnt resist in the end, I think he desperately wanted to see him one last time because from the very beginning he knew his own fate.

one of the many (lol) things that hurts me during this meeting is how dazai immediately jumps happily into conversation with odasaku when he sees him, how he invites him quickly to sit down with him (in which odasaku does but doesn’t sit right next to him, which seemingly hurts dazai, ouch my heart) and how he picks up conversation that dazai would normally have with odasaku in the real world, asking him if anything interesting happened to him that day or telling him about new suicide methods he tried, which leaves odasaku heavily confused as he kind of awkwardly replies to each question.

now because the pov during this scene is in oda’s, we don’t get know exactly what dazai is thinking, but oda describes his posture and reactions well for us to take a guess of how hard it is for dazai to not have probably the most important person in his life not know or care about him.

dazai tightening his grip around his glass, or dazai looking like a happy child in one second to trying to compose his emotion with a small smile in the next, these reactions happen when odasaku keeps bringing up how he doesn’t know dazai and how confused he is. and dazai trying to hold onto something, someone, who made him so happy. trying to ignore the pain he feels and grasp on to the good memories he has but odasaku doesn’t.

and then there’s the part in the bar that asagiri decided to write because he’s a writer and like all authors, lowkey likes to see his audience suffer.

when dazai calls oda by his nickname odasaku once again trying to get him to understand him, the man replies:

“Don’t call me Odasaku. There is no reason of an enemy to call me that.”

yeah I cried

I cried a lot

dazai’s reaction didn’t help either.

The young man suddenly seemed to have trouble breathing…He fought against something invisible.

in this world, dazai probably mastered concealing his emotions (he does in like every world, but he’s much more grim in this one so) he put up this wall and put on a mask for everyone but odasaku, he let his wall down and odasaku didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t bring him some sort of comfort like he did in the canon universe. not intentionally of course, not because odasaku was cruel, but odasaku didn’t know dazai as anything else but his enemy. for all he knows, dazai could be trying to manipulate him.

theyre enemies. they could never be friends in this world. but dazai seems to still try, even a little.

in the end, they part ways. dazai putting on that mask once again, and acting like this whole meeting didn’t just destroy him. because it would be worth it in the end, odasaku would live, be happy, write his novel.

dazai would suffer, but that’s okay. odasaku hates dazai, but that’s okay.

because odasaku is alive. odasaku is happy. and to dazai that’s enough.

we get to the ending that no one wants to read because we’re already in pain and we know asagiri is waiting there with a shotgun to deliver the final blow.

dazai arrives after akutagawa and atsushi’s fight to reveal his reasoning behind his plan. how atsushi and aku have to work together protect The Book to make sure this world doesn’t disappear just for oda, and he mentions how no more then two people can know about the existence of The Book also for the protection and stability of their world.

atsushi decides to so some quick maths then, and realizes in horror that dazai has slowly made his way to the edge of the building.

he pleads with dazai to not do it, but theres obviously no stopping him.

and in that moment I believe for the first time in a long time dazai is truly content.

the hatred towards him is heavy, but it doesn’t matter to dazai because odasaku is safe. he completed his mission.

dazai planned all of this from the very beginning up to his death. now, arguably, despite dazai’s heartwarming end goal he was still an awful person. he was abusive and manipulate. he hurt and killed others to get what he wanted. he was not a good person

but he suffered so much for the sake of one person, he knew his ending wasn’t going to happy, but the end goal was enough. the end goal made it worth it.

osamu could never tell anyone about his pain, not even his best friend. he had to instead put on the mask of the cruel boss of the port mafia. people either had to hate him or fear him. no one could ever love him, no one could ever care for him. and osamu knew that. from the very beginning. asagiri truly wrote a tragic but beautiful character.

now if you’ll excuse me im going to go cry :)))

[hamilsquadwritings]

The Flowers (Philip Hamilton Soulmate AU) ~ part 2 ~

A Soulmate AU in which flowers bloom from your left ring finger, coiling up and around your body, Identical to your soulmates. They stop growing when you meet and turn white when you get together

(I decided to work on an old idea I had on my old blog @stargazelaurens and develop it properly)

Words- 1.85k

Warnings- Eacker being a tool

Tag list {omg people want to be tagged?!<33}: @angelicl-y @popbubblegumpop @elizabethgrace459

{{let me know if you wanna be added!!}}

Things were going.. okay? 

It was a few weeks later and you'd gone out with George more times. You were really beginning to like him, your parents of course liked him. Your sister however.. she felt there was something off about him. She couldn't put it into words however so you pushed it aside to focus on trying to make it work. It helped you have someone to take your mind off of Philip. He'd often be at your house with your sister so it was nice to head out with George.

He'd taken you out to the gardens, for dinner, to the market, but not back to his parents home. Well until last night. He’d invited you to dinner with your parents. It had started off well. They'd be pleasant, even a little warm which made you feel happy, maybe you'd have a relationship with them. After dinner his mother suggested that he give you a tour of the estate, his family was rich so it was a lengthy tour. You were happy to learn more about it, so far it was be surface level questions you'd asked about him, and he about you.  He started the tour with the gardens, they were beautiful, his mother had a vegetable patch that she was incredible proud of, she also had a pink and red rose bush that had been in the family for over 100 years, all the family wedding bouquets were picked from that bush. Next was the library, it was incredible, far more impressive than you'd ever seen, you could spend hours just counting the books let alone reading them. Every place he showed you were prettier than the last. Until you got to his room and the small room next to it. 

____

"This will be your room once we get married, we've have a bathroom through there," he said pointing at the second door in the room "and three maids set out for you to help and assist as you need. You'll be able to roam the grounds as you please, when we don't have guests of course. And you'll come to events with me and when I have time off you'll be able to leave with me-" you had cut him off mid ramble 

"Wait- I won't be able to leave on my own?" You asked in disbelief, he couldnt serious could he?

"Well of course not, you're not some common girl-" he started

"What about seeing my friends? And my family?" Your asked quickly

"I'll be your family" he replied simply

"I'd like to go home" you replied and turn to move, he grabs your arm to stop you getting any closer to the door 

"Listen" he said, leaning really close "you don't get to decide, you're going to be MY wife which means you if don't to do as I say- STOP IT!" He yelled as you struggled against him. You continued to struggle so he let go, striking you across your cheek, you landed on the floor in shock. He looked down at you in disgust "I've been nice these last few days to settle you into our way of life since your father let's you live on such a loose lead but I won't tolerate it. If you want it the hard way we can. Get. Up."

______

That's how you ended up in the carriage. You'd been given a moment to compose yourself before returning to the dinning room for tea with your "husband" and "parents". Your new family..

After tea and biscuits George called for a carriage 

"I can get myself home.." you mumble but he follows you into the carriage anyway. 

"I'm taking you home, you shouldn't be out on your own" he says "you won't be after next month anyway.." he says

"Next month?" You ask meeting his eyes for the first time this evening "what..?"

"Our wedding of course.. the date was set last night, the 13th.." he says. The 13th? That was a little less than three weeks away! "Oh? I guess your father hadn't told you.." 

"Uh, no.." you respond quietly, you couldn't let that happen, they couldn't take you away from your sister and Theo! 

The carriage ride home was quiet. George had tried to talk to you a couple of times, quickly giving up when you wouldn't respond. He didn't mind humoring you, you'd be his in less than three weeks, then you wouldn't be able to ignore him. As soon as the carriage arrived you shot out, walking down the path, not even replying when he said goodnight. 

"Hi" a soft voice says from behind you causing you to jump "sorry!" Philip says quickly "I didn't mean to startle you! Your parents went out for the evening and (s/n) is getting ready for- what's wrong?' he asks when he sees your panic stricken face 

"Where is everyone..?" You ask your self once you get inside. You couldn't see either of your parents or your sisters. All the downstairs lights were off.

"I'm getting married.." you whisper, shaking your head quickly when he smiles "they- they won't let me see my family after the wedding.. they have a little room I have to stay in and-" 

"Oh (y/n).." Philip says softly, wrapping his arms around you quickly. You fell against him with tears in your eyes "that's really unfair.." he didn't know what to say, it was more than unfair but he didn't know how to comfort you. He hadn't had much interaction with you over the past few weeks. Sure he'd spent a lot of time at your house but he'd either been with your sister or you'd been out you with George. Angelica would tell him a lot about you, mainly how nice and lovely you were. Philip had graduated school last summer, and you'd finished just before He'd met your sister. He'd always remember the day you'd gone into the debate club, you'd destroyed Jefferson's son on your first turn, he knew you'd make a great addition to the team. He'd left the team in your capable hands last year, just as you'd left the team in the capable hands of his little brother last month after you'd graduated.

"I-I’m sorry" you said quickly pulling away from him, what were you doing hugging and crying all over your sister fiance

"It's okay I promise" he says reassuringly as he pats your back gently as your sister appears at the top of the stair case

"(Y/n)??" She asks as she descends the stairs, her worry for your clear across her features "what's happened?" She asks as she pulls you close, her arms wrapping around your protectively. Philip sits with you and your sister as you explain everything that had happened that evening. 

By the time you'd finished your sister was shaking with rage, Philip had had to get her a glass of water and physically hold her back from standing up. He knew if she got to the door she would've marched over, well called a carriage, to the Eacker’s estate to give him and his parents a piece of her mind. NO ONE treated her little sister badly, not a single person.

"There's got to be something we can do.." Philip says softly as the room goes quiet in thought

"You're not marrying him" your sister declared after a few seconds, over her dead body would she let her baby sister be mistreated. How dare that- she was pulled from her thoughts by your voice

"I don't have a choice Daddy-" you start

"No, if I have to marry for his business and power you should have too" she says cutting you off, she gives Philip a sympathetic smile but he nods and smiles gently. He already knew, he'd met Theo a few days after their first date. He'd been with (S/N) when Theo had spotted her in the market and came running over to say hi. He'd made that connection pretty quickly.. it was a shame because he was really beginning to like (S/N), it was okay though, maybe if she was off with Theo it would give him a chance to look for his soulmate.. they had to be out there right? Little did he know she was sat across from him

"(S/N) there's nothing you can do.. he's already decided and they've set a wedding date.." you sigh softly, your eyes filling with more tears as your sister hugs you quickly to comfort you

"What if..." Philip says softly as he looks at the wall, he turns to your both, a small glint in his eye, could he have the answer? "I convinced my dad to call off our engagement unless your parents call off the Eackers?" 

"They.. they might go for that.." your sister says as she thinks it over 

"Y-youd do that for me?" You asks Philip quickly, you were in shock. You'd been actively avoiding Philip and he was willing to do this for you?!

"Of course" he says quickly, a little too quickly, he blushes lightly hoping neither you nor your sister would notice. Your eyes fill with more tears as you hug him, your emotions over powering you. How was it that your sister was going to marry such an amazing guy she didn't even want and you were stuck with Eacker. Well maybe not, hopefully you wouldn't be stuck with Eacker but it still pained you that Philip was promised to your sister, especially when she already had Theo..

"That's a really good idea.." your sister smiles as she hugs Philip 

You spent the rest of the evening in your room with Philip and your sister, working together to come up with a plan. Philip would explain the situation first to his mother, putting great emphasis on how worried he was for your safety. She would be appalled at George's actions and would immediately tell Slexander, he wasn't sure how his father would react. Either he'd pull the engagement because if this got out it would be bad for your father which would be bad for him, or he would cut contact for moral reasons. Anyone who could allow their child to be imprisoned like that was NOT someone he wanted his family to be associated with. 

Meanwhile your sister would talk to your parents, explaining the situation from a protective older sisters view. She would explain how she'd found you crying and had finally managed to coax out the story of the evenings events. She would demand that they cut the engagement or she'd refuse to marry Philip. If he didn't want to cut off the Eackers’ then she'd give Philip the okay to talk to his mum and set the second plan in motion. 

"You really think it'll work..?" You ask nervously wiping the tears. A small smile breaks out when they nods reassuringly. 

You only hoped that it would work, the thought of marrying a man who would lock his wife away I a room made you sick to your stomach..

[i-have-feelings-bitch]

some thoughts on ÉLITE s4 immediately after finishing it

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD, obviously

so. i have some thoughts.

i really disliked how they kept on piling up problem upon problem and i’ve seen that a couple dozen times by now and it always ends the same - nothing gets solved. Not really, anyway. The solution usually is; another problem happens, but its bigger and far more important and severe than all of the other ones combined and it overshadows everything that had happened before.

on that note, and to be fair, this is a teen’s drama show. So i don’t mind it, just to be clear here. i enjoyed the heck out of this season, right now, it’s my favorite season of all. That might change later, as all of this still is so new and fresh and exciting so my mind naturally snaps onto it.

first things first; Omander went just like i predicted - they broke up just so they could get back together eventually, after some hardcore drama. (i cried anyway. a lot.)

there’s one character i liked throughout the whole season. no, wait, two actually. first is rebeka. i feel like her decisions made sense. i liked her story arch a lot. the second one is azucena. what a queen.

.........guzman has a really bad temper. always had and probably always will. (to the samu/guzman/ari drama; why couldnt they have a pretty threesome, ari was quite obviously polyamorous (but i guess nobody has ever heard of that lol) and samuel and guzman almost fucked any second anyways so what exactly was their problem)

surprisingly enough, i liked Patrick in a lot of moments, about 50%. i absolutely despised him in the other 50%. tbh im really not sure about his character like with him, i don’t see any reasoning or goal or whatsoever. i have no clue what he wants to achieve?? guess he just wants to be gay and fuck around and honestly? fair enough

Mencia. Oh, Mencia. i liked her a lot from the get go and i still think her character is cool as shit, but there were quite some moments when i wouldve loved to smack her across the face. i also cried a lot when it came to Mencia/Rebeka. when Samu said “Fuck, you two are cute”? i felt that. i very much cringed at the chocolate scene, but to each their own i guess.

Ari; about 95% of the season disliked her. i didn’t hate her, but she was like a knockoff version of Lu? listen, i know i’m being biased here and it’s very unfair towards her, but to me, it just felt like she always tried to be the mean girl but never really succeeded. my opinion of her skyrocketed in the last few minutes of the last episode, though. we love some good sibling care in this house. not like it had been like that in the beginning, mind you.

i. fucking. hated. Benjamin. like the whole time. i think there was legit one single moment when i thought like “okay hold on that was the first (and last) good move you made this whole season” and it was when he offered Mencia to listen to her anytime she wanted or needed to. otherwise. fuck him. his attitude, his way of talking, his way of acting, fucking everything. (in the very last scene, when he destroyed the table? like yeah, i get that you’re emotional and angry and shit but my dude, your youngest daughter just told you she basically got r*ped on a daily basis by the guy *you* invited to your house because you only saw his money. can you please show some motherfucking self-control and not scare said daughter to fucking death oh my god i hate this guy so fucking much) also because he kicked out azucena. on that note, ander being protective of his mom? absolutely living for it.

aaand Ander. here we go. oof. i did not like him for a good part of the season. actually, i think it probably started in episode one and ended in the last one, lol. i just felt like there were little things that made sense? i appreciated him telling Omar that he finds this other guy (aka Patrick) hot, but like some time later, they break up in this really horrible and heartbreaking sequence and a minute later, Ander goes whoring around like there’s no tomorrow? like, literally? huh? i found myself really torn between who to dislike more; Ander or Patrick. nice el desorden reference. (both the shot where he masturbated alone in the shower and the book, lmao)

as for Omar; can the writers just leave him the fuck alone please? what did he ever do to yall to ever deserve all this shit he has to go through constantly in this show holy fuck i HATE how he got treated by Ander and Patrick and Benjamin. This boy deserves so much better. he did seem a little out of character sometimes, i gotta say. not sure why tho. most times, he was the sweet, empathetic cinnamon roll we know him as. like idk man he does so much for his friends?? the thing with Philippe and Caye at the bar was adORABLE

which leads us to

Philippe. dude. what. was his character. most of the time, i felt kinda bad for him, like his so called friends literally all just saw the royalty in him (not that he made the impression that he didnt like that in the first few episodes, but yeah it’s a thing so i reckoned that would come up later on). also i was so happy for Cayetana ughguhghguhghh they were really cute together......but then he gotta pull this shit, like what??? in the actual fuck. he’s just like “yeah some girl tried to sue me, saying i r*ped her” and then later he’s like “so yeah i’m actually a r*pist, whoops, sorry, can you stay pretty please?” like ex fucking cuse the shit out of me sir. no. the problem is i *want* to like him because pol granch is a fucking sweetheart and i’m catching myself thinking stuff like hes kind of aware that hes a borderline r*pist and that hes also very aware that it’s not okay? but like? he doesn’t try to change? don’t even get me started on his mother. ugly ass bitch. that’s all i have to say.

so i didnt like Cayetana for a major amount of s3, like at all. but yeah, what can i say. shes just a sweet girl okay and now i have a soft spot for her. much like Omar i feel like, she gets a lot of shit, completely uncalled for and there’s nothing she can do against it she just like stumbles into the pile of crap and then is knee-deep in. i feel very sorry for her man i just wanna hug her.

just for the record, there was not a single second that i thought Amomrdm(shit i forgot his name lmfao) -the bad guy- was just being nice and helpful. tbh he just deserved what he got. whoops, there, i said it.

the build up in the last episode was very nice, i gotta say. it was low key obvious who would be the one to attack Ari, but it’s alright. i did not expect the thing with Guzman tho lol. You go man. (but still, aggression problems.)

side note; dude it really sucks that guzman and samuel were too busy fighting over Ari to actually notice her missing lmao

oh also - Rebeka’s ninja kick on the dock??????? HELLO????

guzman and ander leaving made me so fucking emotional?????? excuse me??? who gave them the right?????

edit; (a day later)

just noticed i completely forgot Samu, lol. hes just so far away from my type and i dont really have an opinion on him like yeah hes kind-hearted and cares for his friends, and thats sweet, but uuuhhhhhh. i was only there for the lil gay moments between him and guzman. there were a lot of them. i was really happy when he and Rebeka made up and talked to each other again, that was kinda wholesome. aside from that tho? idk hes just kinda [shrug-emoji] for me (like he had been from s1 all the way on to be quite honest)

that said, i’m sure theres lots more thoughts in my mind but the heat is making my head hurt lol ok bye

[oh-theatre]

Livin’ It Up: Chapter 1

Chapter title: An Abrupt Beginning

A/N: Me ? Hating every single thing I write?? BUT OFC GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH IT SUCKS AHAHA. Im so frustrated, I couldnt get Logans end rant to work and its stupid and I just hate everything i hate this i hate my writing hnnng. Can you believe i took an ok concept and and FUCKED IT UP

words: 2614

summary: Roman throws yet another party, and his only true hope for the night is someone to show up. Patton finds himself disturbed, and Logan needs to stop drinking. 

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, eventual demus, eventual Moceit (Which then goes back to Logicality and Demus)

warnings: Swearing, alcohol, underage drinking, drinking, parties, kissing, throw up

Ao3 Link  

“Thank you, for coming to this party with me” Virgil repeats once more, combing through his hair for the fifteenth time. Patton chuckles from his bed, neatly sitting as he flips through his book, writing down notes in his book. “Have I mentioned thank you?” Virgil jokes, Patton nods, biting his lip as he crosses through a difficult section.

“The golgi apparatus provides transportation-”

“Pat! Shouldn't you be getting ready?” Virgil turns to him, the cheerleader stops chewing the end of his pencil, a sweet smile as he shrugs. He closes his books, stacking them neatly on his shelf, everything organized. Once his homework is tucked away into the right folders and his pencils are safely back in his pencil case he moves to the mirror.

“I'm good to go” He says flopping back to his bed, Virgil scoffs. “Virge, these parties aren't anything formal. As long as you've got your phone, clothes and a swimsuit you're good” Patton assures, Virgil nods sitting on the bed, his shoes lacing as he hums. Patton adds his final bow, putting his boots comfortably on. “Ready?” He questions, Virgil sighs patting his jeans.

“I guess”

~~~

“Hey sorry Cindy you mind if i borrow Logan?” Roman taps on the girls shoulder, she sighs pulling away from Logan's mouth. He waves her off grumpily following Roman into the kitchen. “What's that? Third one tonight?” Roman teases, setting up the snacks

“Fourth” He corrects picking his teeth. “Carter, Fiona, Marty and Cindy” He sits on the stool, stirring his drink, the remaining ice clinking delicately.  Roman wants to push but fears a drunken argument before his gathering so allows Logan to pour himself more of whatever murky drink he had been guzzling down. “Mm, why must we have these soirees” Logan mumbles, spinning around.

“Its a party Logan, i've been attending and hosting them for ages!” Roman argues, he sighs finally finishing his set up. “Look just dont make out with too many people, I don't need a million girls crying at me at the end of the night because they thought you were the one”

“They know im gay right?” He sips, adjusting his glasses.

“Do you know youre gay?” Roman retorts, a glare is his gift in return.  “Why do you do it then?” Roman inquires, moving the pair through the already bustling house.

“Its fun” Logan shrugs, Roman pauses snickering as he carries the chips. “Not fun, but its something to do. Mind numbing and does not require actual intellect” Logan slumps on the couch almost instantly finding himself lip to lip with yet another poor and emotional victim. Roman rolls his eyes walking away from the mess. The door continues to open as more people file in, soon the familiar scent of alcohol and booze fill the air and Roman finds himself taking the tiniest sips from his own drink. With every creak of the door, the slightest hope lights up the man.

Come on

Just walk through the door

Please

~~~

“Do I drink, do I get a drink, what do I do? I got this” Virgil rambles, Patton chuckles, shaking his head. Closing the door behind him he guides Virgil into the kitchen, serving him a club soda. He takes it, almost finishing the entire thing, the sweat dripping his anxiousness for miles. “Thanks, ugh why am i here”

“Because I invited you” Roman chimes in, Virgil practically chokes back his drink, being rescued by Patton. “I'm really glad you're here Virge” Roman smirks, Virgil nods through his ever increasing reddened face. His eyes land on Patton, a slight regret but a neutral respect is shared with a nod.

“Ill be by the pool if you need me” Patton whispers, taking his leave, into the rioting house.

“How are you?” Virgil decides, Roman closes the door behind them chuckling as he closes the distance. “That's not an answer” His nerves seem to calm as his ‘radiant’ sarcasm takes place. Somehow his annoyance for Roman returned, his defenses lifted. “Nice house, mind giving me a tour?” He dances out from the ever closing gap Roman entraps him in, a slight scoff of amusement but the teen obliges.

“Well this is the kitchen, an original model and renovated around 5 years ago” Roman demonstrates, Virgil nods finding it actually quite interesting. A serenity falling over him as he takes this moment to breathe. “Over here is the hallway, leading into an assortment of rooms” He explains, Virgil identifies a name plastered on each. “You've got the bathroom, an office and our library still in its original condition from 1875” He hopes to impress the young teen. Knowing Logan, when he was still fresh, found the room the most enchanting thing.

“And where's your room?” Virgil teases, knowing this apartment was enormous in its own right.

“Upstairs” Roman replies, Virgil bites his tongue. Upstairs, god this apartment was huge. “And downstairs we have the pool and some storage. Nobody really uses the pool to be honest. Mostly people seem to hang out in the living room or-”

“The other living room?” Virgil points as they come into yet another opening, flashing lights, loud screeches and many drunken dancers. Roman and him share an amused laugh.

“Care for a dance?” Roman nudges, Virgil scoffs, taking yet another sip of his drink. Finding the teen to be serious he can't help but allow this to fuel his laughter more.

“Me? Dance? Oh that's not the issue...it's dancing with you..” Virgil carries on, Roman rolls his eyes dragging him onto the floor. Slow but upbeat movements take place and...what's this? Is Virgil having...fun?

~~~

The light splashes and ripples of waves as Patton let his feet dangle felt calming. No part of him missed the chaos upstairs, sure freshman year this kind of thing was at least slightly intriguing. But the parties and the drinking grew tiresome and well...annoying. At least now he knew his way around, no one went near the pool, it restricted them.

So, with his bubbling soda by his side, and his book in hand he just sat. It was almost peaceful, the moon found its way through the window, the muffled sounds of music were present and the water felt cool to the touch, reminding him he was there.

“Are you reading?” A slurred voice requests, Patton squints up watching Logan tumble into the space. His feet repeating a crass and heavy movement.

“Are you tap dancing?” Patton hides his giggle. Logan shrugs dropping what seems to be his hundredth red solo cup of the night. Roman makes it a point to never give him glass ones or anything fancier seeing as his tendency to well...destroy grows heavy.

“Trying to” he continues, practically falling over himself, the pool and him soon to become very familiar. “Why are you reading at a party, it's a party or a social gathering and while reading is generally an enjoyable activity it deems itself unsocial and a bore when surrounded by peers and other things to spark your brain” He rambles, Patton forgot how fast the teen could talk. Logan had not been to debate in awhile. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, I would presume this is exactly your type of event” Logan staggers forward a bit more.

“Observant” Patton mumbles, returning his focus to his book, flipping through the pages happily.

“I mean I did happen to notice some of your team was present” Logan continues, Patton nods.

“Yes, I saw you and Brianna grow very close, I think a spring wedding” Patton jokes, Logan furrows his brows clearly scanning his already jumbled brain for the person in question. “Red head, wearing the green sweater and jeans” Patton reminds, Logan snaps a flash of excitement.

“Ah yes! She was fun, well okay, better than most people I suppose.” He sighs, finally finding himself a ground, he breathes. “I want to swim, so with my capable body and sane mind I shall” He deems, Patton looks up catching Logan as he removes his shirt. Now Patton wasn't invisible and he wasn't one to deny that Logan was well...fit. Hearing the splash as Logan falls into the pool he returns to his book. The water makes a plethora of noises, moving around the pool growing close to Patton. “You're intelligent” Logan pops up, Patton's gaze moves to him. He's closer now, fiddling with the water around him.

“Thank you?” Patton wonders, its random but he thinks its a compliment.

“Straight A’s, you skipped your junior year” Logan lists, Patton knows all this but he hums along, no harm in listening. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, student council president and vice president to the drama cabinet” Logan moves closer, Patton finally understands.

“So this is how you do it?” Patton kicks a tiny bit, the water flicks melting back into the pool. “You root out their accomplishments, find yourself impressed and then suddenly head over heels for you” He laughs, Logan hates the weird sense that floods him as the delicate sound sweeps the room.

“Photographic memory” Logan shrugs, leaning back as his hair washes over, drooping with thick water. He advances, curious as Patton continues to neglect him and read his book. “Im not wrong am i?” Patton shrugs, his eyes averting Logans prominent gaze. “Why dont you get in the pool? Why come down to read and sit with your feet in the water when your body could be submerged, are you so bored?” Logan pushes

“Just here for a friend” Pattons short and quick responses bother Logan, something about their manner itches him. He moves closer, finding himself close enough to feel the warmth upon his tingling skin.

“What, may I ask, are you reading?” Logan inquires, peeking over. He attempts to take the book, the world was his to own, why should this book be any different. Patton pulls away and soon the pair commence in a playful game, Patton tugs his book away as Logan fears no boundaries and continues to close the space between them. Grabbing as fast as he can to try and see what might be so much more interesting then Logan himself. Finally it slows and the pair eyes lock, Pattons arms retire and his body relaxes allowing a mutual agreement to both move closer and lock lips with one another.

He couldn't deny that the hype is not valid, he was a good kisser.

But even with Logan's hands meeting his own, and the perfect way this felt…

This wasn't Patton.

He pulls away, resting his hand on Logan's chest. A tender but bittersweet look to a pouting Logan.

“Sorry Moreno, but I'm not going to be one of those girls or boys” He smirks. The shock runs from Logan's face quickly as he pretends to fall hurt back into the pool. Patton stands finding the clock has run its course, and the night comes to a close. Gathering his things, stepping over Logan's mess, with no looking back he makes his way upstairs.

~~~

“Did you atleast have a bit of fun?” Roman hopes, Virgil and him having reconvened in the kitchen.

“When you were not stepping on my feet?” Virgil teases, pouring himself a much needed glass of water. “Yeah I had fun.” He rests, giving a somewhat anxious Roman a reason to breathe. They seemed to keep their proximity to one another, Virgil leans comfortably on the counter.

“Well good…” Roman whispers, not really paying attention as hes much more focused on the small details placed around Virgil's face. The sweet dimple of his sarcastic smirk, the poorly hidden under bags sleeping below his stormy and ebony eyes. The soft yet controlled way he kissed him-

Hold on…

They pull away both utterly confused by how this night had proceeded.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that…” Roman fiddles with Virgil's hand, ignoring the sweat from both.

“Me too” He smiles under his gloom “I think we’re just drunk” Virgil searches for an excuse, he knows the reality. He's been around long enough.

“I'm not drunk, are you?” Romans voice remains soft, Virgil shakes his head. The only drink he had consumed was club soda and water, both becoming aware as they push on his bladder. “I've had a moderate amount of drinks” Roman cant talk apparently, his ability to communicate normally and with his typical charm had clearly left him. Disappointed at his failed attempts.

“I should go” He decides, Patton appearing in the doorway only furthering that choice. Roman pulls away, biting his lip as he nods. “Thanks for inviting me”

“Thanks for coming” He replies, turning to Patton “Both of you” Feeling Virgil slip away, joining Patton. With a timid smile and wave he watches them link arm, rest tired heads and disappear.

~~~

“Are you going to help clean up or sit there and threaten to throw up?” Roman bites, exhausted he organizes and cleans up the remains of his celebration. Logan groans, his head pounding wanting nothing less then to be useless and contain almost zero information.

“He was different, and I don't understand why or how but he was. He was witty and he said no.” Logan begins, Roman yawns knowing what course this was setting him upon. “But I like him and not just I need to win over him but truly like him. I don't like this feeling, but it wasn't a done deal” He speaks, his words making no sense worrying Roman. “I kissed him, kissed him, and I do that. I truly do. I find some brief and fulfilling satisfaction from performing such an action but when he decided against it I felt not..that” Roman nods, processing his vague and ranting words. “Its not that hes cliche and that hes different but it was, he didn't care, this wasnt a game to him or some quick fling or an experimentation it was nothing” He scrambles hard for an explanation, all this thinking hurting his frail state. “I don't know what I feel, I don't understand and I don't enjoy that. I like understanding, I do, I know things, I'm smart, I got it..” This was Romans cue as soon as the self-doubt and irrationality set in, Logan needed to shut down for the evening. “I don't know what I'm talking about, who was it...Patty? Marlene...maybe Connor” he ponders, his trail of thought gone.

“Your fathers coming home tomorrow, we should get you rested and ready for his meeting” Roman reminds, leading a hyper and ranting Logan to his room. He moans as he falls to the bed.

“I loathe the idea of my father returning, I wish not to see him or meet with him. Its the same thing as always, and I don't mind, I've accepted my path but why must I be continued to be reminded of my lack of freedom and set future. I don't care, I have no qualms but to have to constantly be pushed further sparks a rebellious thought in me and I wish-

“I will smother you with my pillow Logan” Roman interjects “Go to sleep, you'll be back to your normal, cold, and uncaring self in the morning” Logan rolls over, clutching to the pillow beside him “Nothing will matter and you'll have become familiar with at least three new people by noon” Roman decides

“Mm...I very much hope you are correct in your predicament” And with his final words Logan falls into a deep sleep. Roman after much cleaning, passes out in his own manner, sprawled on his bed, hating the night and the way it went.

[flockofdoves]

i feel really really weird this week. trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. like its certainly not the first time i’ve felt like this in my life but ive just not had my emotions so . not numbed? in so long or felt like crying totally unprompted or felt vaguely angry at random shit in a certain sort of way (which for something new then makes me feel super guilty because i used to be bad with how i went about anger and i guess i never really fully learned how to practice being normal about it i just started constantly suppressing it along with every other emotion so seeing myself angry about inconsequential shit even if im not acting on it makes me feel awful like people are potentially seeing my reaction to them when its not a justified thing even if i dont think i’m doing anything). like sure those were super normal in past parts of my life. maybe even in the context of my job which i guess i only quit just like 7 months ago now even if i otherwise felt numb through the year before that too. and not something surprising to emerge again bc it has in the past year too but just maybe not so much at once but on top of that just feel a bit paranoid about stuff like people reading my mind or bugs crawling on me (or imagining sensations like that or seeing that or w/e)

i guess in typing all this out when i think about it the one time i felt like this this past half year that i can think of (or at least pretty similar and notable in the way i felt weird minus the anger. actually i didnt feel angry til the past few days so i think thats just at like. being around someone whos made vaguely bigoted comments that i’m affected by but then feeling guilty for reading the worst into unrelated shit bc of that making me feel unsafe) is when my brothers girlfriend visited. and now this past couple weeks she visited and then my uncle visited and then my moms friend visited and in general just theres more invitations to see other people even not staying w us bc everyones vaccinated.

so i guess the biggest factor throughout all of that is like. having to get used to interacting with people that i havent interacted with much in this past over 2 years of being isolated while also simultaneously having my daily routines disrupted by that a bit?? which feels absolutely insane to me that that would have That disproportional of an effect and be something i really did not even know how to attribute at all until typing this out right now. like i really appreciate and have fun with a lot of those people its not bc i dislike them or literally anything like that i think this is just a bit of a deranged unexpected side effect of whatever fucking stage of isolation i’m at where instead of just feeling really stilted in conversation or feeling like i dont know how to normally talk to people or accidentally crying while talking to people or oversharing and being awkward like i have at various times throughout my 2 years and 4 months of isolation when i had brief periods of interacting with people i cared about and/or people around my age again, while sure a lot of that is still somewhat happening (but not the crying in conversation, that was once when i got to see friends from college once literally right before i really realized the pandemic was starting and i couldnt keep visiting after not seeing them for a year before then. i just havent seen any of those friends since)  i think its like. not knowing at all how to act normally around people but also not being as used to the people i am newly interacting with while my routines interrupted so whether i want to make a good impression around them in spite of that or am trying to be normal about feeling upset about shit people i dont know well but cant just not be around say or whatever  ig it just like. flares up my anxieties about what can tell from what i say or how theey take me and all that leads to intrusive thoughts and paranoia about not just giving off the wrong conversational things but literally people reading my mind and judging me for intrusive thoughts recursive cycle etc and all that just makes me feel exhausted and unsafe and useless and whatever etc and maybe subconsciously is bringing up a lot of reocurring emotional shit i’ve dwelled on but not cried about much at all this past half year idk. plus i’m just stressed about how much i really want to get done before starting to move and go back to school.

makes sense in explaining most of it in typing it out right now but nonetheless dont like that. isolation has had a lot of awful effects on me (literally i know i’m talking to so many other people in the world now with that its nothing special lol. ‘i was doing this for a year prepandemic’ is a stupid thing to emphasize 1 year is horrible enough and it just blends together) and i’ve long been terrified thinking about how it could be affecting me in more unforeseen and/or longterm ways but i think i was thinking i had a general sense of how my trouble with interacting with people again would manifest and i really dont like seeing that like. i literally did not fucking know how to connect my emotions and other shit recently to that til right now. better than not connecting it at all of course but i dont like it feeling so unconnected. in general have been very disconnected from emotions even outside of social interaction type stuff so of course thats something to work on too but idk just scary to realize maybe i dont even know the general shape of how my trouble “reintegrating into society” is gonna look like lol. and while i’m hoping it will feel better (but honestly probably a lot more intense emotions even if positive) with realizing this know i really even more cannot even begin to imagine how seeing people ive been close to in the past again will end up going when i get to that

[spockina]

partners

i didn't know what i was doing when i started writing this, but something still came out, so i thought i'd share it with you guys. pls gimme ur thots i’m a needy hoe <3 (ps. what does the title have to do with the story? you tell me. i hate that i have to title things. thanks for understanding lmao)

a huge thank you to @theseventeenstairs​ for being the sweetest and offering me nothing but kindness.

3.3k words / fluff and buck being a dummy / buck-centric / read on ao3

-

The idea comes to him on a Monday. He’ll never forget it, because Ms. Flores is the one to put it in his head.

He’s picking up Chris when she says, smiling:

“You know, for a while I thought you and Edmundo were together,” she twirls her hair around a finger, and Buck can’t help but think, wow, she really is pretty. Why isn’t Eddie tapping that? and then he promptly deletes the thought because, one, that’s just awful and he isn’t like that anymore, and, two, well. He doesn’t want Eddie to be doing that, so…

He smiles back at her, one hand on Christopher’s shoulder, a backpack in his other hand. “Yeah, well...” he says, and waves, tugging Chris along.

Did he intentionally not give her anything? Yes. She gave him a lot, though.

He can’t stop thinking about it.

-

He needs to talk.

Eddie is, obviously, not an option.

Chimney is, obviously, not an option.

Hen has his best intentions at heart, and he knows it, but he’s not sure what he needs out of this conversation, so he doesn’t trust her not just to give him what he wants instead of what he needs.

Maddie will help, always. First, though, she’ll make fun of him and he’s not entirely sure she won’t bring Chim into the mix.

Bobby is the responsible adult figure in Buck’s life, and it comes with Athena benefits. He invites himself to dinner, and is working on an excuse to stay a little longer than usual, but as soon as dinner’s over, Harry’s off into his bedroom, and Buck laughs. Pre-teens. He’s not looking forward to when Chris becomes one.

“Out with it, Buck,” Athena says. “You know we love you, and we’ll have you whenever, but something’s happening, so talk to us.”

He sighs.

“I. I, uh, I love Eddie?” It sounds like a question, he knows, and he grimaces. Ugh, this is so awkward.

“Sweetheart,” Athena says, voice soft, “I don’t know how to put this kindly, because you sure look like something’s happening inside, but, um… We know.”

“Is there something else you need to say? You can open up, we’re not going to judge you,” Bobby adds, and Buck loves them.

“Yeah. Yeah, I need to talk.”

-

He feels better after talking about it, even if just a little. Sure, he’s not ready to do anything about it just yet, but having some of the weight off his shoulders is a huge help.

Christopher tugs at his sleeve. “Bucky, Elsa is about to freeze! Pay attention,” he stage-whispers, and Buck can’t help a chuckle.

“Sorry, bud,” he whispers back, settling more into the couch, feeling Chris pressed into his side, sandwiched between him and Eddie.

Interesting things are happening in the magic forest, but more important things are unravelling inside of Buck’s mind. Like, how he can’t see himself anywhere but here. How it’s a perfectly fine Saturday evening and he’s at Eddie’s house, watching a kid’s movie with a ten year old, and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. How he made dinner, and then the dishes, in a house that isn’t his, but feels more like home than anywhere else he can think of. How maybe he’ll put Chris to bed, or maybe he won’t, and it doesn’t matter, because other evenings will come where he will put Christopher to bed. How he’s wearing his sweatpants, but Eddie’s shirt, because at this point his clothes have moved, and he doesn’t know how, but at some point half of his wardrobe made its way to Eddie’s bedroom drawers. How he has a designated side on Eddie’s bed, because there’s only so much couch-sleeping one can take before just moving to the bed, and Eddie hates the wall. How they’re sitting on the couch, Eddie’s hand just barely touching the back of his neck where his arm is stretched along the back of the couch, and how he’s wishing Eddie would rest the full weight of his hand on Buck’s body.

He could never be anywhere but here, and that he once thought otherwise is equal parts dumb and hilarious.

“Hey. Are you alright?” Eddie asks, once they’re alone.

(Christopher put himself to bed tonight, which is… new. He still requested Eddie read him two chapters of his book, instead of just the one, per it being weekend rules.)

“What you mean?”

“You seem, I dunno. Far away.”

Buck shrugs, takes a swig of his beer. “Frozen 2 is an excellent movie and I’ve been deep in thought. Was kinda hoping they’d give Elsa a gee-eff, though, not gonna lie.”

Eddie snorts. “Ain’t you a funny one?”

“You know it!” Buck replies with an exaggerated wink and a million-dollar smile.

They settle on some dumb, definitely not PG-13 movie, and pretend to watch it, side by side on the couch, until Eddie turns suddenly to face Buck and blurts out:

“No, seriously, what’s going on?”

Buck stares right back, hard. “I don’t know, man, what do you mean?”

“I don’t know, Buck, you just, I don’t know, you seem odd.” A beat. “For a while, actually.” Eddie sounds unsure and Buck’s ready to give, but then he adds the rest and Buck feels himself getting on the road to get angry.

He shakes his head. “You can’t say I’ve been odd for a while and say ‘I don’t know’ with it. What. The fuck. Do you mean?”

Eddie looks surprised. “Hey. Slow down, man, I just wanna talk.”

“Then talk.”

“I’m trying, Buck, but -”

“Don’t just say I’m odd and then expect me to say shit.”

“Jesus, Buck, what’s going on, man? Did I do something?”

And… Isn’t that a wake up call?

Sure, his emotions are a mess, but that doesn’t mean he gets to take stuff out on Eddie, who is, literally, the one person who will be most affected when Buck comes clean with this whole thing.

Buck takes a deep breath, closes his eyes. When he opens them again, he looks Eddie in the eyes, and hopes Eddie can see the honesty in them.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. You’re right. It’s just… I’m. Um. Listen, I should go home. I’ve got a cleaning crew coming tomorrow, I should -”

“Don’t they have a key for that?”

“I, uh, yeah, actually, but I got a new rug I need them to be careful with. We’ll talk…?” He trails off at the end, not sure where he was going with it.

He moves around the house he knows so well. Stops by Chris’ bedroom to drop him one last kiss. Eddie doesn’t follow him as he moves around the house; stands in the middle of the living room, where they were arguing, and stays there, quiet, until Buck crosses him towards the front door.

“Text me when you get there,” he says before Buck leaves, because, fight or no fight, they still worry about each other, always.

Buck lets out a sigh of relief. He was hoping Eddie would still say that.

“Yeah, of course. Good night, Eddie.”

Driving back to his apartment doesn’t make him feel any better. It is, in fact, doing the opposite, and he feels awful.

He’s emotionally constipated, and he knows it, but it never quite led to the mess it did tonight. How come he’s in love with Eddie and still lashing out at him? Nothing makes sense and thinking makes his head throb, so he throws himself on his (lonely, cold, empty) bed, and wishes for tomorrow to come quick, so that this day can be over already.

hey made it see ya tmrw for chris’ friends’ bday i got the present sorry forgot 2 tell ya night eds 😘

He falls asleep before Eddie answers.

-

At first, he can tell Eddie’s trying.

Eddie’s doing his absolute best to pretend nothing’s bothering him when he picks Buck up, when he says good morning, when he hands Chris the present he bought for Chris’ friend. Eddie’s avoiding his eyes, sure, but that’s Buck’s punishment, he guesses, and so he’ll take it.

But then, slowly, things sort themselves out. Each passing minute makes Eddie a little less upset, and a little more open to being around Buck, accepting that maybe whatever outburst happened last night was just a one-off thing. Buck’s thankful, not for the first time and shamelessly so, that Eddie is just as emotionally messed up as Buck is; as long as things get back to their usual, he doesn’t fuss too much.

They have a good day.

Sarah’s mom is a great host. She makes sure Eddie eats cake, and is not at all covert about the way she keeps her left hand in plain sight at all times, or about the way she searches Eddie’s hands in search of any kind of ring. (At which point, Buck has to excuse himself, because there’s only so much a guy can take. When he comes back, Eddie looks up at him through his lashes, and grins not-at-all-subtle at him, and Buck has to look away, heart skipping several beats.)

He needs to do something about it, or he’ll lose his mind.

-

Buck pokes his head into Bobby’s office, knocking more as a way of announcing himself than of asking if he can actually come in. “Hey, got a minute?”

It’s a slow day -- Hen’s working out, Chim and Eddie are taking a nap, and Buck knows he won’t get another moment quiet and alone with Bobby like this for a while, so he takes it.

“Of course, Buck, do come in.”

Buck snorts, plopping down on the chair.

“I need help,” he announces after a minute of sitting there silent.

“I’ll be glad to help if I can. What do you need?”

He clicks his tongue, unsure of how to say exactly what he’s feeling, unsure if he even knows how he’s feeling. He runs a hand over his face, into his hair, back down.

“I just. Look, I love him. I need to do something about it or I’m gonna go insane!”

Bobby is looking at him intently, a sympathetic look Buck doesn’t really love. He must look miserable for Bobby to be looking at him like that.

“Listen, Buckaroo, you just need to do it. I know you’re nervous but -” he’s interrupted by Buck’s phone. He glances down to see a couple of texts from Eddie, and he can’t help his smile as he types his response.

Where are you I thought you were gonna take a nap too

couldnt fall asleep sry bobby’s office

“...That Eddie?”

What for

“Yup,” he says, popping the p.

just talking

Bobby shakes his head, clear amusement in his eyes.

“As I was saying, Mister Buckley, you just need to do it. I know it’s scary, I promise I do, but it’s going to consume you until you come out with it. Think about it, really, and not just in general terms. Think about what you want to do, how you want to do it. You know we’ll be here for you. I’ll be here for you, whatever happens.”

You should come take a nap while it’s quiet You’ll be exhausted later Chris already picked tonight’s movie LOL

yeah ur right ayyy what did he pick wait nvm be down in a min tell me when i get there

Buck nods, full attention on Bobby even if Eddie is waiting for him downstairs.

“Yeah, I’ll think about it. I mean, I think I have an idea, but we’ll keep thinking.”

“As long as you’re comfortable, take your time.”

“Thanks, Bobby. Really.”

Bobby smiles at him, small and pleased. “Anytime, Buckaroo. You know the door’s always open for you. Now go before he comes to get you.”

-

how do u feel abt a bbq

Why and when

no reason just think we havent done anything cool lately nothing that we looked forward to

Should I be offended????

what??? no!!!

I’m kidding LOL

man you suck but anyway i was thinking we could do a bbq at ur place what w the backyard and all we could have pepa and abuela ur cousins the 118 the kids make it an actual event u feel

Sure That sounds pretty nice, actually Got a date in mind?

yeah actually we all got 1st wknd june off that ok?

Yup, nothing on my calendar Just checked

great!! that saturday then

It’s a date Christopher will be so excited when I tell him

gosh i hope dw i’ll figure out something for the kids actually dont worry abt shit let me take care of this

Be my guest LOL

-

Shopping for the barbecue is exciting, and Buck can forget, for a little bit, that he’s doing this as a way to give himself the courage to take the step that will either make or break them. So he shops, and he buys a lot. He buys enough food to feed way more people than the twenty that’ll be attending, and he buys enough games and activity books that the six children will be entertained for days on end. He just wants it to be a perfect day and for the people in his life to have a good time. That’s all.

He buys one extra thing. It takes an entire afternoon, and he keeps it safe and away from his eyes until he’s ready to think about it.

-

The house is packed with everyone they love. The 118 is here, Maddie, Abuela, Pepa, two of Eddie’s cousins, one with her husband and children; the kids are running around like crazy, hyped on good food and fun music, and everyone seems to be having fun.

Buck, on the other hand, can’t seem to relax for even a second.

“You doing OK?” Eddie asks, coming out of nowhere, and Buck nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Fuck, Eddie, warn a guy!”

“Jeez, I’m sorry! What’re you so jumpy for, anyway?”

Buck waves him off. “Just sleepy. Didn’t have a good night, is all,” he replies, which is, in fact, not a lie. He didn’t get a single blink of sleep last night. At around three he gave up, and made himself a huge thermos of coffee, instead.

He knows this is the right way. He knows they need to talk, and he needs to have things out in the open, finally, so they can stop skirting around this already. It’s a risk, and a bold move, and, frankly, there’s so much on the line. Too much. But he can’t keep dancing around it as if nothing’s happening.

He’s doing it.

-

Maybe not right now, though.

He feels queasy. There’s a bubbling something inside of him; a building panic that he feels in the pit of his stomach, working its way up at a really fast pace.

“Oh, God. Bobby. What if, what if I, uh, I read the whole thing wrong and this isn’t what he wants?”

“What?” Bobby takes a step closer, places a hand on Buck’s shoulder, squeezes. “Buck, no. Listen, we all know Eddie. We see him every single day. We see the two of you. There’s no way this isn’t happening.” There’s a pause, and then, almost as if he can’t help himself, Bobby adds: “But listen, Buck. If it isn’t what he wants, you’ll still be fine. We’ll be here with you, whatever the outcome may be, OK?”

Buck nods, says nothing. He is soothed by Bobby’s words, and he’s relieved that, at last, Bobby seems to be keeping his promise of not sugarcoating things (alternately: lying). He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.

“OK. Think I’m ready,” he says, hand firmly over his pocket as if he needs reassurance that this is real.

His voice is shaky, he knows, but Bobby doesn’t comment on it, just nods and squeezes his shoulder one more time; walks past him back into the living room, where the party is, obviously, still happening.

Buck takes a moment to look around.

He loves every single one of these people. He’s not sure when or how they became his family, but they are, and he knows he’s a lucky one. Whatever happens, he knows they’ll have his back.

He presses pause on the music that’s playing from his phone, making everyone look around confused, until they see him walking until he stops in the middle of the living room, where Eddie was, just a moment ago, talking to Abuela and Christopher, and is, now, watching him intently, confusion clear in his eyes.

“Hi, everybody,” Buck starts, and he knows he’s blushing, knows they can all tell just how damn nervous he is, but he won’t stop, now. “First, I wanna thank you all for being here today. It fills my heart with joy that we’re all here together, all the people Eddie and Christopher and I love so dearly.” He stops, looks around, offers everyone a smile. “When I decided I wanted to do this, I couldn’t - I didn’t - God. I didn’t know how to go about this, but I know I wanted everyone here.”

“Buck?” Eddie says, looking up at him with what Buck’s pretty sure is hope. Buck takes his hands, mostly because he can’t help himself with the overwhelming need to just touch Eddie.

“I hope you all know how much I love this man. And I know everyone here knows, but if you don’t, let me tell you: Eddie is the best man I’ve ever met. Eddie has the biggest heart, the strongest soul; Eddie is the best father I’ve ever seen, he’s a good friend, a kind man, a just one. A hot one, too,” he adds, wiggling his eyebrows, making everyone laugh. “But we all know that,” he continues. “I wanna tell you about the things only I know. I wanna tell you about how soft he is in the mornings. How he makes coffee just the way I like it. How he wakes Christopher with a smile, every single day. How he loves. How he cares. How he does his best, everyday, to be the best Eddie he could possibly be,” he turns to Eddie, fully, offers him a smile. “I hope you know you are, Eddie. You are the best, Eddie. And I love you. And I love you, too, Superman,” he adds, looking down at where Christopher is watching them with tears in his eyes.

This is it.

He pats his pocket, and fishes out the little box he’s been keeping safe this whole time, goes down on one knee. Hears the murmurs around them, the surprised sounds from their friends and family. Watches as Eddie grips Christopher’s hand tightly, brings one hand up to his mouth.

Now or never.

“Eddie,” he starts, but finds he can’t keep going. He takes a deep breath, starts again: “Eddie, I never knew I could love like this until you. You walked into my life, and you made a mess, and then I made a mess, but what matters is that we’ve come out stronger every single one of those times, and I hope to God there will be so many more for us to walk through.

“So, Eddie, Edmundo Diaz, will you marry me?”

Buck hopes to God he’ll never have to go through this again. He watches as Eddie watches him in silence, looking like he doesn’t understand what’s going on, and Buck wants to cry, and run, and hide, and never come back, because this is the most terrified he’s ever been in his life, and he’s been through a tsunami where he thought he’d lost Christopher, and -

“Yes. Yes, yes, of course, Buck, God, I love you, of course I’ll marry you!”

Then Eddie’s down on his knees with him, and they’re kissing, and Christopher’s right there with them, and Buck has never been happier in his life.

Surrounded by the people he loves, with the one he loves, with their son.

He knows he should think he’ll never be happier than this, but he knows he will. His future has Eddie and Christopher; every day will just be happier.

[thaliagrayce]

@ariihen​ absolutely. consider yourself destroyed. This is a little lighter on the jasico than most of my stuff, but like... I had fun and it’s still homestuck au? I hope you like it anyway. I love a lot of parts of homestuck but honestly the beginning, when they were trying to figure out this weird fucking game, was one of my favorites

-- gracefulArgonaut [GA] began pestering tumultuousTartarus [TT] at 16:13 --

GA: Im Still Supposed To Be Bullying You Right Now Because Apparently That’s What Were Supposed To Do 

GA: But Ive Been Watching You For An Hour Now And You’ve Been Listening To The Same Song And Staring At The Corner The Entire Time

GA: Are You

GA: Are You Okay?

Nico blinked down at the new messages from gracefulArgonaut, squinting a little to try and read the light blue letters against the white backdrop of pesterChum. It was confusing for a number of reasons, most of which he didn’t want to touch. It was the first time GA had contacted him, but far from the first time he’d been approached by random hostile strangers on pesterChum. Despite the influx of other, much meaner anonymous messages he’s gotten within the past year, this one unsettled him more than most.

He glanced at his computer speakers, which were playing Wake Me Up When September Ends for—he glanced at the screen, which had his music history open—the sixteenth time in a row. He had, in fact, been zoning out in the direction of the corner for almost the entire time. gracefulArgonaut or whatever had no way of knowing that. He looked down at the messages again, chewing on his bottom lip. Responding to these trolls wasn’t productive, he knew that from experience, but that was… super specific.

The last note faded away, bleeding into the intro again. Seventeen times. He unfolded his legs from the position he had been sitting on his bed in, wincing at the twinge in his knees and shaking the numbness out of them as best he could, and moved to his desk chair. Under the window that was playing his music was a pop-up from the Sburb beta. It had taken a while (or maybe he just hadn’t noticed it for a while), but the server application had finished installing.

Instead of sending anything back to GA, he switched to a different chat.

-- tumultuousTartarus [TT] began pestering effluentBlade [EB] at 16:15 --

TT: Okay.

TT: I have the option to start a server now and I’m going to do that.

TT: You only have to join when I send you the invite, it shouldn’t be too difficult on your end.

He set up the server and tried to connect, but the client server was unresponsive. He twisted his skull ring around his finger and stared at the screen. Another few messages from GA came in, but he ignored them.

-- [TT] [EB] --

TT: You there?

TT: Percy?

EB: oh yeah lol I’m here, I just had to do something for my mom

EB: it’s good, got it, hitting enter now

Another message from GA pinged in the background. They were persistent, usually the trolls would ignore him after he disappeared for too long. He glanced at the media player again. Wake Me Up When September Ends was on its seventeenth and a half playthrough. Even if they were just making a scarily accurate guess, GA might have had a point. It was a good song, but it was also without doubt his Depression Song. He hovered his mouse over the icon at the bottom of the screen, considering.

The Sburb window suddenly changed from the black background and green text that he had been seeing for an hour to a loading screen, and his speakers started pumping out instrumental music over top of his emopunk. He paused Green Day, fighting a smile. Finally.

-- [TT] [EB] --

EB: oh shit dude, false alarm, mom needs me again

EB: I’ll be back in five minutes, don’t worry

Nico let out a groan and leaned back in his chair, letting his head flop back against the headrest. He’d been wanting to play this game for months, but apparently he wouldn’t ever be able to. Percy, as usual, had better things to do than spend time with him. Thalia was still pretending that she was too cool to want to play in some misguided attempt to… establish dominance in their group? Impress all of them with her apathy? Make sure her mother was just as miserable as she was? Nico didn’t know, and he didn’t have the patience to try to dismantle whatever was going on in her brain now. She wanted to play somewhere in there, and she would eventually. That’s what mattered to Nico. Annabeth was… Nico didn’t actually know where she was now, but she wasn’t responding to messages. As usual. Probably knee-deep in some project, hyperfocusing so hard that she forgot to blink for five minutes.

At least Percy tried connecting before he left. The loading music was kind of nice, too. Maybe Percy didn’t actually have to be there in order for Nico to play.

There was another ping from GA. Nico bit his lip. It couldn’t be any more unsettling than the initial messages had been, right? He opened the chat.

- - [GA] [TT] - -

GA: I See Youve Moved To A More Comfortable Sitting Location

GA: Good

GA: That Couldnt Have Been Good For Your Back

GA: Or Your Legs

GA: Or Your Mental Health Probably

GA: I Also See That You Are Ignoring Me

GA: Which I Should Have Expected

GA: I Did Explicitly State That I Was Supposed To Bully You

TT: You know, the whole telling me what I’m doing in the moment that I’m doing it thing is a little bit creepier than your group’s usual brand of cyberbullying, but the rest of your approach could really use some work in the hostility department.

TT: Part of your strategy? Be nice, but like, really weird about it? I admit, that might be effective, if you actually planned it out. Make me feel as uncomfortable with my friendships as I do with the rest of you.

TT: Who, apparently, all know each other and have banded together in an organized campaign against myself and my friends?

GA: Oh! Youre Here

GA: Uh

GA: I Kind Of Have A Viewport That Lets Me See The Four Of You?

GA: Mine Is Focused On You At The Moment

GA: I Explained This To You Last Time

TT: Did you, now?

GA: Well

GA: Last Time From My Perspective

GA: Probably It Will Be Next Time From Your Standpoint

GA: Anyway

GA: Im Glad That You Seem To Be More Responsive Now

GA: Youre

GA: Different Than I Expected

GA: And Different Than You Were Before?

Behind pesterChum, the window for Sburb changed. Nico could see… Percy’s bedroom? Strange. He shot a quick message to gracefulArgonaut.

- - [GA] [TT] - -

TT: As fascinating as that avenue of conversation would be to explore, I have better things to do now.

TT: How about you stop creeping on my life and leave me alone? Worth consideration. Might be a more effective way of bullying me, leave me in confusion.

GA: That Certainly Is A Strategy

GA: I Confess That Im Not Very Good At Bullying Though

GA: And You Fascinate Me

GA: I Think I Would Like To Be Friends Actually

TT: Well, try again later, I guess. As I said, I have better things to do now.

He exited the chat, but didn’t log out of pesterChum entirely. Hopefully, Percy would be back soon. Nico could see him in his room, dicking around with a foam sword. Nico scrolled through Percy’s apartment until he was in an uninhabited room—the bathroom. Perfect. He hit the select button and clicked the bathtub. He could worry about GA later, it was time to learn these controls right now.