#trying to better myself as a person
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
wtf hey gang
you're never gonna guess who it is LMFAOAOAOAO
HELLO WORLD IM BACKKKKKKKKK sorry for not writing for a while............. i've been going thru some whack shit lately but i graduated a couple weeks ago so that's pretty awesome!! hopefully i'll actually be able to get back into the flow of writing cuz i have 60 somethin' asks that i've been neglecting since scott pilgrim takes off came out??
also please expect more ghost content because i saw rite here rite now last night (REALLY FUCKING GOOD BTW I CRODE) and i am very much back to my natural state of fixating on the ghouls
#twiix rambles#feels good to be back honestly#i forgot about this blog for the longest time#which i do feel kinda bad about#i just haven't had like#much of a drive to write at all for about a year#went through a lot of stuff this year#sorta been working on my mental health#trying to better myself as a person#things have been hard#and i do feel really guilty about not posting#so many neglected asks#i love rambling in the tags as if people are gonna read all of this mumbo jumbo#tldr im back and im gonna try writing again#expect slowish updates#thank you for everything though guys#there is nothing that makes me happier than seeing that people are still reading my writing years later#i've improved so much as time has passed and im very proud of myself#im very proud of how far i've come#i owe it all to you guys :3
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Birthday to Fallen London; My favourite British people beefing it with bats simulator.
#fallen london#ambition: nemesis#mr.cups#Happy belated birthday to me: I finished my Nemesis ambition. I get to make a fun comic about it. THAT WAS THE DEAL!!!#...Is what I would have said had I not spent *four* days trying to draw a cool dramatic comic. This is all I have to show for it.#I also missed posting this on the Flondon anniversary so I'm double Smad and frustippointed at myself.#This is niche content but I know there are flondoners following me who will understand.#I had to make a second account because all my friends who I played with *also* picked Nemesis and dropped the game at various gates.#I failed every possible check at Knifegate. I was on the verge of madness. And yet I still love this game.#Little known secret about me: over 70% of the blogs I follow on tumblr are flondon rp blogs.#The cool art and character lore brings me a lot of joy!#With that said; what the hell is the coincidence that right as I finish Nemesis -#The flondon community starts a Nemesis Race.#Guys. it’s not worth it. It is a revenge quest about losing everything you have to see your task through.#All to culminate in the discovering that you are beefing it with a fanfiction writing bat.#That said; I do feel like this story was very satisfying for my melancholic doctor.#I knew I would get the choice between sparing or killing my nemesis (the bat) and I had a long time to think it through.#Someone who wants to save lives and (does as much as possible to do make things better for others) choosing against mercy?#Someone who never permitted themselves to let the city truly become a home because they were not a person - they were a tool for grief.#Alright..Yeah the ending was really good.#I will be back with a part two. Clearly I'm tenacious enough to commit to what I started.#If I am not excommunicated on sight by the flondon community I will be back with comics for the other ambitions.
525 notes
·
View notes
Text
small little doodle page for you @niceguyanonymous !!!!!
((I tried my best, I'm not a very good writer, but I hope you like it <33 sorry I didn't put too much detail into this one, I wasn't sure how exactly to interpret it!))
#edgar electric dreams#edgar#electric dreams 1984#electric dreams#my art#ms paint art#I need to draw more of him#he's SO cute#pls send asks to my askbox if you guys want to ask for little doodles of him!!#I'll do more colored stuff later but I struggled a bit with this one xD I need to get better at drafting comics#mini comic#I may not be a fan of magic or suspension of belief.#but I personally think he should be allowed to wag his tail#he deserves it. as a treat#some notes:#yes I did write this myself#I hate poetry I'm so bad at it HEKDBDKDB#also I figured he'd try to write in rhymes!!! since he's been told to use those#he's trying to be as smooth and impressive as possible
960 notes
·
View notes
Text
finished commission for @/adamantiumdilf on twitter!
#art#commission#tiefling#artwork#illustration#drawing#digital art#artists on tumblr#oc#fantasy art#art commission#digital painting#dnd art#fantasy#actually think this was someones tav i was commissioned to draw :3#could be misremembering tho but i have had people commission me for that#ive also had commissions where someone used a dragon age screenshot i think?#which i personally love. very helpful tbh#anyways opening up commissions next week i think#:3#the depression is still here but im eating and sleeping properly and trying to take care of myself a bit better#anyways#ignore these tags lololol
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?
#fe warriors three hopes#mercedes von martritz#miklan anschutz gautier#we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it#i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way#so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault)#did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him#no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF#no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how#he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes#who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ?#like that npc stuck with me a while ok#just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now#i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo
288 notes
·
View notes
Text
magenta smoothie 4 breakfast, vibrant vase of tulips 4 my gf, black dragon dog 4 sharing the couch with, and a big stack of notebooks 4 writing
#i love my life <333#how’s everyone’s morning going?#trying to Take Care in the midst of this nightmare that is the united states#the grief is never ending !!!!!!!!#but i am trying very very very hard not to let despair win#and so i made a smoothie#w lots and lots of mango and pineapple and a couple huge sweet cherries#and i’m tucking myself away to write and knit for the day without expectation#i’m not even dressed yet and it’s almost 9:30#i got sleep like real sleep for the first time in a week last night too#and so i’m feeling a little better abt resting so much#the ptsd has been pretty rough recently#in that way where i’m replaying my worst memories on a screen in my head and can’t stop it#it demands my attention unless i’m watching tv and knitting and reading all at once LOL#like turning everything off and facing it while lying down trying to sleep is . harrowing#it’s awful#BUT i knocked myself out w sleep meds last night and woke up feeling a lot more capable of regulating after a week of staying up until 4:30#so#i’d say things are on the up and up#we got a pretty little silver dusting of new snow again last night#and the SUN is out!!!!#big blue sky#no thick gray cloud blanket to speak of#anyway if you read all this for some reason#tell me how your morning has been#in my comments or dms or asks#i’d really love to know :)#love you!!#personal
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
mmmmmMMMMMMM
#sigh#I wanted this break to be nice and relaxing#just allow myself to recharge maybe do some silly personal doodles#but we finally got the quote from the mechanic and it’s#it’s bad but it’s either get this repair or get an all new car we can’t afford#this whole month has been a terrible downward spiral and I’m#trying so hard#I’m not well#things aren’t letting up#I have no motivation to do anything enjoyable#nothing feels enjoyable#I just#I want to sleep forever#I don’t want to deal with this anymore#I still can’t seem to get a job#Q’s job is mentally destroying him because of the things he’s now being exposed to#but he’s been trying to get a new job since mid April#I#no longer feel any hope that things will get better#Christmas?#I feel no Christmas joy#I feel no joy#I picked a shit time to get off my meds but#I don’t know I’m tired of taking pills#there’s nothing wrong with needing them I get that but I just#I didn’t want that anymore#sorry I just needed to yell into the void before I lose my fucking mind#I’m fine things will be fine they’re always fine in the end they have to be
436 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's really weird to me the way people have been talking about maria lately.... like i know maria wasnt the most developed character in her earlier appearances and she also didnt get to have a normal childhood experience but seeing people say she has no personality and has no joy or whimsy or never got to be a kid at all makes me wonder if im the only person whos actually been paying attention to maria this whole time...???? like do people think she was a sad miserable kid who never got to have fun because of her disability or something ? because that is quite literally the opposite of who she was
and people are being weirdly ableist about it too like talking like her illness is the reason for all those traits she supposedly lacks. implying disabled people cant be happy or have fun or whatever. like come on man
#maria robotnik get behind me ill protect you#and regarding the disability thing i am disabled myself i was a disabled child once i am well aware of the difficulties that come with that#but you can acknowledge the struggles with being disabled and facing ableism and such#without portraying being disabled as constant misery. shoutout to shadow generations + its associated content for getting that right#anyway its especially weird that people Always say this stuff as a way of hyping up movie maria as a better portrayal#like. movie maria is missing so much of what makes game maria interesting ????? what do you mean shes better ....#and again. people are being weirdly ableist about comparing the two#''she finally gets to be a kid/have a personality now that shes not sick''#''movie maria's death is sadder because game maria was just going to die of her illness anyway'' do you not Hear yourselves.#the fact taht they didnt mention her illness at all and people are just Fine with that is bad enough#but did you really HAVE to say with your whole chest that a disabled child's life is worth less than that of a non-disabled one#even if thats not what you meant its what youre implying.#trying not to avoid talking about the movie but my god some of you make me so mad.
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.
(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)
#svsss#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#SQQ: building his found family on QJP and Plotting#LBH: idk off sniffing rocks somewhere while on one of his protagonist adventures#i say im pouring one out for him but in reality im laughing at him. sorry my guy you are just NOT my priority. be a better peak lord#tell your disciples to stop with the institutionalized peak hierarchy and the internal political intrigue and MAYBE we'll talk#oh he cant hear me he's wearing airpods. welp. *stares at LQG and YQY* more SQQ time for you then!#its funny because i do love bingqiu i just decided to write a fic exploring a roleswap concept i saw where LBH wasnt a good peak lord#and the concept itself didnt explore what consequences might occur if LBH was as inactive a PL as LQG was before redeeming him#like if BZP can go lord of the flies while unsupervised what happens if you leave QJP the same way?? political court intrigue and sabotage#being the protagonist and going on many adventures is great and all.... if you aren't tied down with the responsibilities of a peak lord.#binghe. binghe. binghe. binghe. your head disciple has instated a hierarchy on your peak and routinely sabotages the cultivation of the#junior disciples by actively disrupting their learning by sending them off to do menial chores that should be distributed equally across#the peak. binghe. he's gonna get someone killed. binghe. BINGHE. you're inadvertently creating a generation of cultivators who harbor#resentment against you specifically bc you failed to care and protect them as their shizun. BINGHE. DO YOU HEAR ME? BINGHE#oop. i guess not. SQQ time to organize a covert resistance group. i mean a secret study group that also doubles as an organization dedicate#to ruining Li Tao's reputation and standing amongst the rest of the sect. by boys! have fun storming the castle!#tldr unsweetened lemonade is: 'i force SQQ into a position of no power where keeping his head down is not an option bc neither the system#+ nor his surrounding peakmates will let him fade into the BG. and there's no LBH around for him to wifebeam into the Fave Disciple spot'#its also a 'SY and SJ are the same person' fic bc i love the trope and having a disciple SY where he's also SJ is such a specific niche#that i'll just have to write it myself in order to see it. im having a blast with it. im gonna give him SO much found family.#liushen and yueshen(? qijiu?) are fighting for 1st while poor bingqiu is trying to claw its way out of 3rd with minimal success#good fucking luck babe you gotta fight SQQ's seven evil disciples first. THEN you gotta fight Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan.#and then you gotta fight me. romance isnt even in the cards for this fic they're fighting for the SUBTEXT.#roll for disadvantge binghe
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.
I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.
I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.
Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.
Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"
But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.
Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.
Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?
Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?
"What happened...to us?"
#I just think the tragedy of falling out of love for the person who represents who they Used to be is so...so painful#Kacchan isn't even here yet and it's already so complicated.#also. Izch healing together after all this would also be really nice#if u like them ending up together thats also perfectly fine too. im just a bkdk and tgck truther myself. thats kinda my whole thing#but izch forming a deep bond from their experiences and saving eachother#and maybe later on trying to date too...oh boy#and them being able to just...be more casual again. talk abt their lives and dreams together too just so they know they have each other#oh itd be so healing and beautiful#im so glad izuku talked to ochako on that cliff man oh man...#izuocha the underrated tragic love that they could've been if ppl werent so close minded abt them#only the real izch fans understand just how much these two actually mean to each other. god bless yall I swear even if I dont ship ship it#thank u to that person who wrote abt them being characters than run in parallel#that narrative structure for them is permanently in my brain. I love these two so much its no joke#my Extra hot take is that izch wouldve been treated better by the fandom if it was gay.#but we'd still agree on bkdk as the endgame after all that happened. maybe. idk this is a hypothetical.#if you switch ock and kats genders...this wouldve been a very different story and fandom. insane food for thought with this one.#ok thats my yap for the night oh god i have so many feelings about them...#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#izuocha#actually confidently putting this tag now. sorry for the angst you guys...and maybe being seen as a traitor#im a strong girl I could take on potential haters hahaha...#izuku midoriya#ochako uraraka
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
With the end of season two comes a second redraw!
[Nov 2022] [June 2023] [June 2024]
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I was really looking forwards to this redraw - though the jump in skill isn't as dramatic as the last one I still am proud of my progress!#It's really incredible to look back on this last year and how much has happened since then.#Both in my personal life and this blog.#I started the second season while I was going through some pretty rough times and it truly kept my sanity afloat.#I challenged myself a lot more this year! And while it didn't always turn out the way I hoped-#-being messy and earnestly trying to do something different has been my favourite part of art.#There will always be a lot of room to grow - I don't think art and creativity has a ceiling.#I went from doubting that I was even an artist to joining a gamedev team as the lead artist! That's character growth!#Thank you all once again for joining me on this journey B*)#Thank you for all the messages and support you have sent my way these last 18 months.#I'm so happy to have been given the chance to create something for this community. You've given me so much and I am so grateful.#I'll take a little break to post some personal project stuff this week and resume season three after that!#Onwards to another season of silly (and sometimes serious) comics!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
oooh wait so the plot hole of “why doesnt a spirit medium just channel the victims spirit” is literally bc the DL-6 spirit channeling cant be repeated huh
#im so fucking slow I was brushing my teeth thinking abt Gregory edgeworth in mayas clothes#and I haven’t played aa1 so I don’t actually know the details of it in case I get to play it for myself#but they brought up the spirit channeling mistake with misty and how it basically shot down the kurain techniques credibility right#and like. I guess trying to do that again would be a repeat of that incident which ended up with an innocent person being convicted#so Phoenix not only has to channel Mia because she’s the smarter better lawyer but also because summoning the victim#isnt exactly the first time it’s happened and gotten someone the guilty verdict. huh#replaying justice for all 2-4 so the case with Maya spirit channeling#and after playing aa3 I can really appreciate how much thought they put into the fey family and how a lot of the games events#revolve around it.#Mayas powers arent a ‘long lost ancestor’ as an excuse for her having powers. it is clearly and heavily expanded on#and the infighting makes so much sense when you consider the power differences between branch and main families.. and Mia becoming a lawyer#to find out what happened to her mother AND after being aware of that bloodshed and what it means for Maya#the way she chose Maya and didn’t want that for them. the way she put distance between them on purpose so they wouldn’t become like that#and Pearl is acknowledged as having more power than Maya but she’s fucking eight and loves Maya that she doesn’t see that as any#kind of power imbalance. heck when Morgan uses her for her plan in bridge to the turnabout Pearl was happy to do it#because Morgan said it was for pearls good and Pearl assumed that meant it would be good for Maya too and I 😭😭#the branch system was originally made so that even if you weren’t chosen as the master you could still support the family by protecting the#main branch. and the irony of that being the reason why main family members are targeted to be usurped#iris outright rejecting the notion of communicating to the dead and everything the fey clan stands for#there’s so much fucking lore to this and I don’t see it talked abt enough?????????!?????#yapping#ace attorney#as
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I wasn't going to say anything about this because responding to anon hate doesn't accomplish anything, but this one I got this morning stuck out to me, and it's just because of one line.
"...someone you hurt is gonna expose you for every single evil thing you've done."
It's just such an interesting thing to say to someone you don't know and never will know.
I mean, I'm a normal person. Raised by parents who loved me and tried their best. Participated in middle school plays. Had high school drama. Tried an instrument for a year. Juggled college and a job. Lost some people. Y'know, ordinary life experiences for someone my age.
I haven't done anything "evil," believe it or not. I'm a good boy who obeys laws and I don't enjoy hurting people.
If you talked to old friends who ended it on bad terms with me, I'm sure they'd have a whole list of my bad qualities. Off-color jokes that I made, selfish decisions, accidents that snowballed.
But that's just... Normal? I'm sure this anon has done bad things, too. That's just life.
When I was five, I punched my little brother so hard that he got a bloody nose. Is that "evil"?
When I was nine, I stole some loose change from a friend of mine. Is that "evil"?
When I was fifteen, my friend told me that she was planning to commit suicide in December, and I was scared so I told her parents even though she expressly did not want them to know. Is that "evil"?
Fandom antis are so fascinating. The use of the word "evil" says all that I need to know about how this person thinks; enough that anything else they think is automatically worthless to me.
People can't be split into good and evil and, even if they could be, you can't tell that about someone just because of what art they create.
Would it make you feel better if I was "evil," anon? Would you feel vindicated if I hurt people, if I caused suffering in the world, if people had their lives ruined by me, all because I write about the "wrong" fictional characters kissing? That's pathetic, and sad.
I hope you find happiness in your life, anon. Seems like you need it.
#anon hate#proship#this ''evil'' nonsense. ugh. antis and christofascists come from the same school of thought#i have actually gotten quite a few anon hate messages recently all from the same person (or group of people)#and it's gone from amusing to just. sad.#like i wake up in the morning and have things to do and friends to talk to and hobbies I want to indulge in#and these strangers have nothing better to do than try and make me feel a little bit worse about myself#it's so pathetic i almost feel bad for them
119 notes
·
View notes
Text
having low empathy like actually sucks
#vent#i dont feel like i can talk abt thsi with my friends because i Will just look like an asshole#it sucks like . wanting to have my friends feel better abt a certain thing but knowing i cant do jack shit and if i Do try to talk to them#then i wont be comforting enough with my words and ill probably just make them feel worse#and if i cant help people with their problems its selfish to share mine right. so i end up not really having any 'close' friends#that i feel really know me or that i could go to for anything#sometimes i do care abt others problems but like. it feels like a house fire im supposed to just put out by myself without water or anythin#and sometimes i really do just Not care and i feel so guilty about it#i lean so heavily into being a 'bad' person just bc i cant feel capable of ever being a 'good' one
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
some future bits of creme uni where sm grabs two of pv's patients and makes them start fighting for reasons that he does not explain to his husband beforehand and he will get his head ripped off about (literally)
as always more details in the tags
(non-text version 'cause its fuckin' funny)
#cookie run#shadow milk cookie#espresso cookie#pure vanilla cookie#shadowvanilla#creme university au#madeleine you are only mentioned so you aren't getting tagged buddy sorry#basically sm is training them in two of their weaknesses#madeleine has a huge magical surplus and defense against dark magic but a lot of the building of that magical defense was done via fear#and espresso has fucking 0 stamina in a fight not to mention is trying to work through a problem with his emotions controlling his magic#leading to literal explosive behavior if he can't keep it in check#so what better way to train these two than making them fight!#both of them are under pure vanilla's care and he is NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS#foolish professor boutta get divorced and he doesn't even know he is married#shadow milk thinks hes doing good though cause he sees that both have unresolved trauma holding them back#and what better person to help them through it than each other ya know?#although he probably kicked the shit out of the two of them beforehand as his way of pointing out their flaws#also fist fighting myself to post unfinished shit cause it'll likely never get finished
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
The amount of jews I know who are planning on or are currently running private libraries is a non-zero number. Can't beat the well-read allegations for real 😭
#jumblr#personal thoughts tag#if i had a couple hundred more books this might be feasible for me#and also if i lived in a better place#i have (personally) NEVER heard of someone actually having a private library until i met jews#as in they run it out of their house and as a single person/family#in my ideal world i would have a private library and would host book-reading parties for the people who borrow from me#and i'd put out (obv kosher) snacks and tea/coffee/hot cocoa as we read#and we could have blankets and pillows and natural/soft artificial lighting#and as people stop reading we could discuss what we read. maybe we all read and study together though#at heart i know i would have becomes a teacher because i think i'm just imagining having a place to learn and study now LMAO#i would love to live in a jewish neighborhood and have my home serve as a safe space y'know?#i'm probably too introverted but i would like to at least try this one day g-d willing#LMAO as i make this post i'm playing skyrim. and i'm making my follower pick up EVERY book i see in dungeons#because i have a skyrim library in my home(s). if i carried those books myself i would be SO overencumbered#I'm not beating these allegations either apparently
53 notes
·
View notes