#sometimes i do care abt others problems but like. it feels like a house fire im supposed to just put out by myself without water or anythin

[plutosoda]

having low empathy like actually sucks

[joejhang]

nathaniel wesninski vs neil abram josten

something that fascinates me abt the aftg books is the nathaniel vs neil dichotomy. so i'm gonna analyse and dissect it like a completely normal and fine person. spoilers ahead !!! continue at ur own risk

i feel like the fandom has the wrong idea abt nathaniel and neil; they aren't foils, they're mirrors. they're a lot more similar than i think the fandom likes to acknowledge. and i actually don't think neil himself has too much of a problem with that.

allow me to elaborate. neil isn't scared of nathaniel, and nor is he very sensitive about his father. he actually references his father sometimes as a defence mechanism ("you think i'm afraid of your knife? i'm the butcher's son.") his feelings towards his father are, i'd say, deep-rooted fear and resentment. this has to extend somewhat to nathaniel, given how deeply entwined nathaniel wesninski is with both the butcher (neil's childhood abuser, the one person he truly fears) and mary hatford (also one of neil's abusers imo but their relationship is a lot more complex), both of whom neil says he doesn't want to become like. but he also says it might be inevitable that he is a little bit like them anyway (he's right).

i think this is how the fandom differentiates between nathaniel and neil; nathaniel is cold-blooded, ruthless, analytical, a criminal mastermind. nathaniel wesninski sealed the deal for his own survival with ichirou moriyama. nathaniel wesninski endured the torturous conditions in the baltimore house. nathaniel wesninski watched the butcher of baltimore brutally murder a man in front of him at ten years old in castle evermore. nathaniel wesninski followed his mother on the run for eight years, twenty-two cities, sixteen countries and a dozen fake identities. nathaniel wesninski watched as his mother left bodies and sacrifices in their wake for their own survival. nathaniel wesninski orders hits on the people who have hurt the people he loves. more than once, others in the series note that neil will always be nathaniel wesninski at heart (ichirou, jean) and neil doesn't correct them.

neil josten, on the other hand, is scrappy and messy and impulsive. neil josten has sharply honed survival instincts that he throws away at the first chance of getting to live a real life. neil josten chose to stay at palmetto state university with the full knowledge that he would get himself and many others killed. neil josten clocked r*ko's shit on live tv and at the fall banquet. neil josten trusted a five foot nothing goalkeeper with his life for a year. neil josten saw the opportunity to do what he loved, even if it would kill him, and he took it. neil josten isn't afraid to run his mouth, be it to a teammate who overstepped or a reporter broadcasting on national tv. neil josten doesn't think about the past or the future but lives in the moment, all consequences be damned. neil josten gets to know and starts to care about the foxes even though he knows he shouldn't.

in short; nathaniel wesninski is ice all the way through, unapologetically the butcher and the bird's son, and neil josten is all fire, a young man and a runaway who chose living over survival and friends (family) over safety.

that's the dichotomy, but i actually think people don't realise that they're two sides of the same coin. i don't mean like "neil is nathaniel is nathan" i mean like neil chose to be neil josten, with full knowledge and agency, but that doesn't change that he was nathaniel first. in the fandom's declawing of neil, they forget that he's still the butcher's son, and he isn't afraid to show his teeth.

"neil josten" doesn't exist on his own. he is a product of neil's time with the foxes. neil says himself, at the beginning of the series, neil josten wasn't a person, just another identity that could be discarded at the drop of a hat. it was the foxes that made "neil josten" a real person. they pulled out from that facade the parts of neil that "no disguise could change". neil's character arc from the scared nobody at the beginning of tfc to the brave and happy young man at the end of tkm wouldn't have ever happened without the foxes' influence on his life. that pivotal narration change from neil to nathaniel in tkm is in a sense, neil shielding the foxes and the person he was around them from the cruel reality of his past. the identity of "nathaniel wesninski" is real and undeniable, already bloodstained from his brutal childhood, and untouched by the foxes, and so can't really be ruined by his father's hand (sweet mourning lamb, there is nothing you can do, it has already been done). everything that happened in baltimore, from the legal name change to neil and andrew's conversation in the car ("can i really be neil again?" "i told neil to stay. leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father.") is more of a decision to choose a new life than it is a new identity. "can i really be neil again?" is neil asking if he's really escaped his past and he can truly stay with the foxes and be who he was around them freely. and andrew's "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore with his father" is more of an assurance to let neil's bloody past go in favour for a new and better life.

note: "let go" does not mean forget or disregard or lose. it just means to accept it but move on. this is important i promise.

after that, neil is able to continue freely in his life. wait no he's not. ichirou comes to find him. right.

the neil and ichirou conversation is one of the most interesting in the series. it says a lot more about neil's character than people seem to notice. neil actively "switches" into the persona of nathaniel wesninski specifically for that conversation. something about how every word has to be true and it has to be the biggest lie he's ever told. neil's switch to nathaniel is a little jarring and a little uncanny. the way he speaks is pure business, coldly rational and disconcertingly subservient to ichirou (disconcerting because of how adamantly neil refused to submit to r*ko and testuji and even his father's people). but it's interesting because it's still neil josten speaking. the narration doesn't change, and the way neil talks is still very much himself, just honed and polished to suit the man ichirou thinks he's speaking to. ichirou wasn't looking for neil abram josten, starting striker for the psu foxes, he was looking for nathaniel wesninski, the only son of the butcher of baltimore. neil knew this, and knew he had a part to play and he plays it so easily it actually fucking works. he isn't even afraid of ichirou. everything he says and does in that scene is careful and thought-out and logic-based, but there is no fear. all of neil's fear in the aftg series quite literally is caused by his father, and can always be traced back to him. since nathan is dead at this point, neil isn't fearful of ichirou, just cautious.

the narration change in tsc is also notable. jean thinks of neil as nathaniel wesninski until the foxes beat the ravens and r*ko dies. this is significant because the idea of "nathaniel wesninski" is also deeply entwined with the perfect court. if neil had signed with the ravens he would've been nathaniel wesninski (03) not neil josten. but once r*ko is dead and once tetsuji steps down, the perfect court no longer exists, and neither does the phantom partner jean was clinging to all these years. there is no nathaniel wesninski (03), no forever partner for jean, even though he has nathaniel's auburn hair and ice-blue eyes and cruel smile, he doesn't have the mark of the perfect court anymore and r*ko and tetsuji aren't around to reinforce that delusion so for jean, now there is only neil josten.

still, he also says later on that neil is a wesninski at heart. neil doesn't really take this personally, from what we can tell. killing a rapist isn't something particular to neil or nathaniel, he would do it whether he was neil abram josten or nathaniel wesninski. but the method, the subtlety, writing the numbers on a napkin, handing them to his mobster uncle, that is such a nathaniel-characteristic thing to do that jean comments on it. neil might have problems with wearing his father's face and his father's smile, but he never denies the truth that he is a little like his father (referencing his hot temper), and he isn't hurt or offended by jean's comment.

this post is getting way too fucking long, even for me, so i won't go into the "abram" of it all, but just know there's something to be said about that, too. i just think the fandom takes the whole "leave nathaniel buried in baltimore" thing a little too literally. nathaniel isn't gone for good, he will always be a part of neil, but neil's accepted that and moved on. he's living his best life, doing what he loves with people he loves, and even tho he does act a little bit like a wesninski at times, he's come to terms with who he is and who he chose to be: neil abram josten.

[dancingazaleas]

miche zacharias | beauty & the beast

this is for @izukine ‘s ‘fairy tale and mythical creatures’ collab! love you so much liyah <333

tagging: @yeagerslut @xenihime @fiaficsxo @mitsuluv @sukunas-lady @onyxoverride @rintarouss (cus ur a miche fucker. sorry for not warning u abt the tag)

edit: this is unedited, i’m so sorry for any typos.

warnings/tags: cursing, eventual smut, smut, nsfw, romantic sex, size kink(i guess if u squint?), fingering, oral sex/cunnilingus, missionary sex, vanilla

miche was always just a little bigger than anyone around him. he stood like a skyscraper at 6’5, towering over all of his peers. he was more broad one would be at the chest, a tailor once said his bust was around 150 centimeters.

miche was seen as an absolute beast because of this. and it didn’t help that miche’s hair was shaggy, stubble coating his upper lip and jaw, and he had a sniffing problem. he thinks the nose is really what sold everyone.

and in effect, miche was feared. feared by the people in his village, and sometimes even by his own friends. the dark and looming castle he lives in was where he forced to, along with his companions that stood up for the meek man that they called a beast.

the village often sent people who they’ve decided to shun to his estate, expecting for the beast to kill them in cold blood.

in reality, he just sent them to the next village over. he didn’t feel like being disturbed.

it was nothing different when he saw you running to him, tears falling from your pretty eyes while consistently looking over your shoulder. behind you, he noticed a crowd with pitchforks along with torches, screaming for you to get back here to burn you at the stake.

“help!” you cry, “help!”

you stumbled over your own feet, hands clamping down onto his clothed biceps and sobbing while looking at him.

“the next village over is—“

“no! sir, no matter where i go,” you shake your head rapidly, “i will be hunted. hunted for reading the books!”

you looked so desperate clinging onto him, eyes flashing when you cry once more, “you’re the only one who can help me!”

he looks back to the crowd that nears the gates of his home, silently wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his chest. the crowd skids to a stop, especially when miche steps forward and manages to yank a pitchfork from their hands.

“this girl is with me,” he announces, jabbing at the air to back them up, “leave now or die.”

the crowd gapes at the sight of you gathered to his chest, but backs off nonetheless. there was nothing they could do against the man that they call a beast.

miche leads you into his home, introducing you to friendly faces that were spread across the house.

“what happened?! did you get rid of the—whoa-ho-ho! who’s this beauty, michey,” someone with messy brown hair exclaims, eyepatch covering their left eye.

“hanji! quit being so disrespectful,” a man follows behind them, tugging them by their shoulders from behind.

“this young maiden was followed by a mob. she read the forbidden books, based off of her words she’s said to me. they planned on hunting her down even if she goes to the next village over,” he leads you past them to a bathroom.

“that’s saddening,” a baritone voice said, the frown evident in his voice, “she's staying with us i’m assuming?”

if his voice wasn’t enough to make you feel small, his looks definitely were. a blond man with bushy eyebrows and a prosthetic arm stood in front of you with something that you can say was a gentle smile. behind him lingered a shorter man, bags hanging from his eyes, one of which had a scar running through it and down to his lip.

“no shit, erwin. miche isn’t heartless,” the crude words make you crack a smile.

miche ignores their comments, “where’s nanaba? she needs a bath and i don’t fully trust her to be alone.”

“what am i needed for,” a feminine person waltzes into the room, a light look on her face.

“this young maiden needs to be bathed with a loose eye on them,” nanaba gently takes your hands into their own.

“what?! why couldn’t i do it?!”

“because you can barely bathe yourself, shitty glasses,” levi grunts and sits on a plush couch in front of the warm fire. you notice he has two prosthetic fingers.

nanaba leads you away before you can hear hanji’s response. you open your mouth to ask a question, but find yourself stuck on what to address nanaba as.

“you can address me as whatever makes you comfortable,” you find that she’s peering at you from over her shoulder.

“oh! i’m so sorry,” you sniffle.

“don’t worry about it, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. now, what was on your mind?”

“that man… miche, i think the townspeople called him, he’s really kind. he saved me from being burned,” you murmur loud enough for her to hear, “why?”

nanaba took you into a bathroom room and shut the door behind her, “i can’t say i know. the last person he took in was levi, and it wasn’t exactly his choice, more of erwin’s. i think he smells something in you.”

“that’s right, the townspeople wrote that he had the nose of a dog.”

“he does. he’s usually able to tell if someone is good or not just by their scent,” she turns on the bath, “i think he likes you.”

you deny her statement with a laugh, fanning your hand just before you get undressed. you doubt that a beast such as himself could like someone like you.

————

months passed, and as the days went on you found yourself falling in love with miche. the same man who used ‘beauty’ as a nickname for you would bathe in how you’d give a bashful and swat his arm.

truly, he was more like a bear. big and scary, but also cuddly—as much as a bear could really be—and soft. miche had a heart of gold, that much was obvious when he started to wear it on his sleeve.

he cherished his time with you, even if others were around and he wanted you to himself. he loves the wandering gazes you give when you sit under the wisteria tree in his garden. the look of curiosity that brightens your face, eyes wide and staring at the world he used to think was cruel.

miche tried not to be a sap. he hadn’t ever since he was born, and he didn’t want to start now. but he couldn’t help it.

if the world that shamed him and hurt him was able to create such a kind yet sarcastic beauty, then maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought.

but he was scared of hurting you. in more ways than one. mentally, miche was a quiet and seemingly unaffectionate person, even with someone he loved. miche also had a tendency to be blunt at times, and it has made you upset on multiple occasions.

physically, however, miche’s terrified of being with you just because of it. as you’ve observed, miche isn’t exactly small..

but you practically make him feel as such.

especially right now as you crack jokes with him and teaching him how to waltz. it doesn’t help that you’re leading the dance and that he was stumbling over your feet.

“miche, step this way with me,” you’re incredibly patient.

“i’m scared i’ll step on your foot,” you give him a stare.

“you already have,” you laugh, “it’s okay if you step on my foot, you’ll get the hang of it.”

eventually, he’s able to synchronize his steps with your’s. you trade off the leadership to him, hands on his shoulders. he fumbles a lot more than before, leading to you fumbling over him as well. your shoe presses into his own, and you wince for him while muttering an apology. he’s about to tell you it’s fine, but before he can, he’s stepped on your dress. you yelp and instinctively cling onto miche as you fall onto miche’s bed, dragging him with you.

his arm is immediately at the small of your back and his other hand manages to hold himself up. you flop back onto the mattress when he takes his arm away, cheeks flushed red as he stared down at you.

you look so pretty under him, hair spread beneath you and hands laying next to your head palms up. your pretty lips are parted and your eyes are wide and fluttering.

when he realizes he’s staring, he starts to get ready to get off of you.

“wait!” you gently hold his biceps, stopping his once abrupt movement.

your arms reluctantly and slowly wrap around his neck, eyes darting continuously to his face and to your arms. miche’s breath gets caught in his chest when you pull his face closer to your’s.

“miche… can i kiss you,” you whisper, breath tickling his skin.

miche’s too afraid to speak, so he nods.

your lips start to tingling whenever they’re connected to miche’s heat embarrassingly shooting through your body and to your tummy.

when he pulls away, you accidentally let out a whimper and rub your thighs together. miche’s face lights up again at how needy you look underneath him.

he kisses you again, intertwining his fingers with yours and leaning his weight onto them. he subtly shimmies your body up the mattress, tongue poking at the inside of your mouth. it elicits a soft moan from you, the noise shooting sparks straight to miche’s cock.

“love you,” he sighs with his lips trailing down your neck, large hands shyly starting to grope at your chest.

“love you too,” you bite your lip, watching him undo the buttons at the front of your shirt.

“is this all okay,” his lips tickle your skin as he drags them across the skin of your collarbones.

“yes… yes,” you mumble, slipping out of the shirt and your bra and throwing it somewhere across miche’s room.

miche nibbles at the skin on your breasts, fingers pinching your nipples. you sigh dreamily, hips wiggling from where they lay on the bed. he kisses down your tummy and slips the skirt you’re wearing off of your body.

you’re wearing plain white panties, embarrassment hitting you like a truck. miche doesn’t seem to care at all though, just slips them down your leg and throws them somewhere in his room.

you put a hand on your chest when he spreads your legs, trying to regulate your almost erratic breathing. you couldn’t believe that this was even happening.

soft pecks tickle your calf, slowly trailing up to your thigh and to the trimmed hair of your labia. breaths grow heavy when his tongue hesitantly prods at clit, fingers digging themselves into the wild sheets of his bed.

after seeing your small flinches, miche closes his lips around the bud. you immediately throw your head back as he starts to suck and lick at it, electricity shooting down to your toes that are curled over his shoulders.

he slips a large finger into you, bending it with caution. you buck your hips with a throaty moan, sealing your eyes closed when miche picked up the velocity of his pace.

unlike with waltzing, miche was getting the hang of it fast. so fast that he’s already slipping a second finger into you, thrusting it at a teasing pace that wouldn’t be able to get you off.

you cry out, the scent of pleasure coating your entire body. it has miche groaning against your clit, a loud and desperate moan being let out in response.

miche’s slipping in a third finger, continuously thrusting in and out whilst curling them.

“miche! miche!” you let a hand get tangled in his hair, gently tugging as if you were trying to rut against his face.

“gonna cum—oh my god! i’m gonna cum,” you whine breathlessly and miche continues at his pace.

you cum seconds later, legs trembling from where they lay over his shoulders. he pulls away and immediately wipes away your juices off of his face with the back of his hand, immediately rewarding you with a sweet and passionate kiss on your lips. you whimper against his rough lips, fingers tugging at the shirt he still had on.

he chuckles when he pulls away, hastily taking off his seemingly elegant clothing and throwing the sheets over your bodies.

miche knew it was going to make you both hot. and miche knew he was paranoid of anyone walking in, even though he knew that everyone wouldn’t bother him. but still, the sheets acted as a shield from the world.

this time was only for the two of you, no one else.

his hand pumps his cock whenever he starts to guide it to your stretched out slit. you don’t exactly realize just how big miche actually is until the head of his cock is pushing into you.

the sting that shoots through your body is immediate, and you immediately cling onto his back. you bite your lip whenever he keeps slipping himself in, pausing when you’ve managed to get a quarter of his cock inside of you.

you pant as tears prick the corner of your eyes, trying to relax your obviously tense body as miche tries to distract you with soft and gentle kisses. he whispers how good you're doing, even rubbing circles into your clit with the pad of his thumb to help loosen the tension.

when you calm down and tell him that you're ready, he continues to slip into you with slowed movements. the stretch is more painful than before and as he slides deeper and deeper into you, you feel like his cock gets bigger with each inch. you stop him again, taking deep breaths and telling yourself that you can do it. you only had a few more inches left, then you would feel good.

when he finally bottoms out, your breath leaves your chest. it feels like he’s in your throat and the intense feeling makes you cry again.

“so full, ‘m so full miche,” you whimper while he wipes away the tears from your face.

“i know, love, it’ll feel good soon,” his voice soothes you.

when you calm down again, the realization at how every part of miche’s cock reaches you comes down upon you.

“m-move, please, move,” carefully wrapping your legs around his waist, you whisper in his ear.

his thrusts start off slowly and deep, moans falling from your lips each time he bottoms out and the tip of his cock hits your cervix. when he realizes that you’re alright, he speeds up his pace.

the way he ruts into you makes you produce a broken scream, scratching at his back and throwing your head back. you’re already starting to feel that certain knot in your tummy again, and you wanted to try to hold it back but the orgasm crashes into you unexpectedly.

you sound so broken underneath him, digging your nails into his skin and squeezing him close to you.

“fuck! thank you, thank you,” you sob, “love you, love your cock.”

he grunts in response, ignoring how your walls suffocate him. he doesn’t help you ride out the orgasm, only speeding up his pace to chase after his own orgasm.

you whine at the sound of his skin slapping against your’s, heat spreading down to your chest. you’re going to come again with the way miche jackhammers into you desperately.

“miche, miche! fuck—please!” your vision whites out as your body thrashes under miche’s hold.

miche can’t ignore how hard your walls grip onto his cock, groans spilling out of his mouth as his orgasm creeps over him.

he orgasms with a breathy grunt, grinding his hips into yours and pumping his cum into you.

when he comes down from the euphoric high, he kisses your lips. your eyelids are heavy after miche pulls his softening cock out of you.

“love you,” he mumbles against your skin after he’s fetched a wet rag and cleaned you up.

you hum in response, too tired and weak to even reciprocate with words. luckily, he knows what you were trying to say. he pulls you into his warm chest, a soft and satisfied hum falling from your lips.

you drift off with his hand rubbing your back. the last thing you remember thinking was that miche was definitely a beast in some aspects.

[notquiteaghost]

this may be a post only for other adhd/+autistics cuz idk how much of this is my particular disordered connection to my feelings n my physical body, but

yknow how eating right & going outside & sleeping enough & bathing regularly is good for u? and how when ur in a place where all of it is insurmountable u hate to hear that, cuz just the knowledge that it wld help doesn't make doing any of it easier?

one of my primary barometers of my General Mental Well-Being is how long i can tolerate not showering. cuz when im very depressed i can not shower for three weeks and not be fine but like. have needing to shower not be actively upsetting in a way i notice, cuz yknow. oh the dining table specifically is on fire? ok, so is every other thing, so is the whole house

and like. i think the implications here go both ways, in that yes taking care of yourself will improve things, but if things are so bad you can't actually process the specific effects of not taking care of yourself then you might also not notice the absence of those effects. oh i have just come at "recovery is incremental" from a more specific angle huh

well i will hit post cuz i do keep thinking abt this, and the other thing of sometimes u do need to fix a major problem before u can handle any smaller ones which is very very rarely actionable information. it is so easy to put out my little fires now i have kicked out the guy with the lighter! i could not have kicked out that guy any earlier!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[cronchywaters]

if u dont mind!!!! Can u share info abt shears and/or the characters in it? ty!

oh, yes, of course!!!!! admittedly the story itself is really fuzzled but i can give an overall like. summary of the premise. it's a group of people who live together in an abandoned factory they renovated into a big house for themselves! the group calls themselves "shears", and it's ran by dizzy and fizz. there's a fair amount of character deaths in it actually but ssshh we don't need to talk about that. there was also a bit of human experimentation and that's why characters like blood and dizzy's monster form exist.

here's some info on the characters for you too! it's under the cut since it's kinda a lot lol

dizzy: he's definitely a leader and authority figure! it gets along well with people despite how deadpan it seems all the time. rot likes to spend time in rots office alone, but often allows the other members of the group in if they need to talk to rot about something. the reason he hides his mouth is because it's full of sharp teeth, and he doesn't want to seem intimidating. rot also hides rots left eye since the pupil changes its shaped based on what emotion rot's feeling, and since rot is pretty secretive when it comes to rotself, rot hides that little part of rot from everyone else. don't really need them asking what the different pupil shapes mean either (the default shape for it is an "x"!).

fizz: since he and dizzy go way back, they know each other extremely well, which is why he's the second leader of shears despite being pretty incompetent all things considered. while he is a scientist working on a way to become immortal, he often fucks up because of his careless attitude towards basically everything. fizz is terrified of fire, which is ironic considering his hair somewhat resembles it. he doesn't really like being vulnerable around other people, but lets his guard down around dizzy and eventually sevenge.

sevenge: he's extremely anxious and on-edge literally all of the time, no exaggeration. even if he knows you're coming up to him he will jump when you start talking to him. because of how paranoid he gets, sevenge will often stay locked away in his room as to not disturb anyone else. why exactly he's so nervous is unclear, but when he *does* stick around, he's a very kind individual. he enjoys the company of others despite aforementioned paranoia, and will sometimes push through it so he can be there for those he cares about. however, since he doesn't wish to be a burden, he doesn't really spend much time with them physically, instead opting to communicate through letters the other members of shears can slide underneath his door.

crow: sevenge's sister and suspected to be the reason why he's so anxious. she has no real regard for other people, considering humans to be a "waste" and has no problem committing murder on the daily. the only reason she's in shears is to get away from any kind of accountability for her actions, and even though the other members are weary around her, she hasn't been kicked out (yet). dizzy keeps her around since she isn't actually hurting anyone in the group, but he is also admittedly a little scared of her too. no one really knows her that well but nirya, since the two of them had a sort of dating relationship for a while, but love refuses to talk about it.

nirya: she's extremely excitable and always wants to make people happy. she's taken baking up as a hobby, which has turned into her being the cook for the group. she doesn't mind, of course; everyone there really likes the stuff she makes, which just fills her with joy. bun is extremely open about buns attraction to women, and is also heavily crushing on carma. sweet also wants her brother (comin) and best friend (sven) to stop pining and just get together already. love can come across as a bit overwhelming at times because of how much stuff love wants to do for other people, but love's been doing loves best to take things more slowly.

comin: aer name is pronounced like "common"! he's an insomniac who tends to stay awake for days on end, only ever really getting sleep when he passes out from sleep deprivation. no one really knows why exactly ae can't get any sleep, and despite said insomnia, comin does aer best to be there for nirya and sven. he doesn't really like it when people do things for him, but when he's running on his last cup of coffee he doesn't really raise an objection when sven comes over to wrap a blanket around him. ae does truly care for aer sister and (future) boyfriend, but often doesn't have the proper energy to show it.

sven: he is deeply in the closet and also has some anger issues he needs to work on. he tends to lash out at others randomly, and even when nirya or comin are jokingly teasing him he gets very defensive very quickly. he doesn't hide his crush on comin well, and insists he's straight because he had a wife before she died. though it takes time he eventually begrudgingly accepts his bisexuality, but still refuses to believe he has feelings for comin.

joy: she came into the group with sevenge, who tried placing her into a new, immortal body because he was terrified of her dying. that's why her body looks like it's just a bunch of different parts together, since sevenge had no idea what he was doing. joy pretended to lose her memory after the transition into a new body as to not make sevenge feel even more guilty than he already did. she cares deeply for him, though she does spend a bit more time out of her room than he does. her and rone ended up getting close, and the two of them are planning to go out on a date sometime soon. joy is a very kind individual, even if she doesn't usually say much.

blood: not much is known about its personality, since their entire body is weak, making them unable to do much. they also spit up blood anytime they try to talk, hence their name. its head is connected to its body by a thin strand on its neck, and the only reason it hasn't torn off completely is because of dizzy. it spends a fair amount of time around him and nirya, but usually its found standing around aimlessly, unsure of what to even do.

carma: they're royalty from some far-off country they refuse to name. she was kicked out of the kingdom because of her trans identity, but eventually found a new family in the shears group. even though fae's grown as a person since getting kicked out, fae has a very "i'm better than you" attitude, and thinks anyone who doesn't listen to fae is some kind of peasant. she and dascon go way back, though she hates him for reasons she refuses to disclose. although annoyed by nirya, carma does care about love, even if love gets a little overwhelming for faer sometimes.

phytos: if sven was deep in the closet, phytos is in fucking narnia. this guy is stubborn and hellbent on proving he's straight by "crushing" on carma. he's very loud, and tends to be quite annoying. he isn't really a bad person, he just tends to get on the nerves of everyone around him because of how irritating he can be. when he was younger he thought it would be funny to replace his left eye with a clock. it wasn't. fortunately for him, it works as a new eye, with the middle of the clock working as a new pupil for him; despite this, it's difficult to see out of, and he often gets frustrated by the other shears members asking him for the time.

rone: he's really outgoing and flirtatious! rot really enjoys flying and taking people with rot to see the sights rot gets to see on the daily. there admittedly isn't too much depth to him yet, but he does get embarassed easily despite how flirty he is.

dascon: it's originally a spirit floating around mindlessly, but getting an overwhelming feeling of love manifested a physical heart for itself, as well as a physical form. since the one who made him feel that emotion eventually broke up with him, he smashed said heart to pieces, making him unable to truly feel any of the emotions he felt before. now dascon finds solace in picking up random strangers at the bar, then keeping them at his house until he eventually decides to kill them off. despite not having its heart anymore, every now and again dascon will feel something, but not truly understand why.

carrisa: a former sex worker who made a contract with dascon for more clients. it eventually became overwhelming for her, and in order to get away from him, she joined shears and is it's newest member. she hasn't really established herself in the group yet, but is doing her best. she does her best to be there for other people, and likes cracking jokes to try and lighten the mood best she can.

[divine-motion]

i’m having more of my tmnt au/2012 rewrite-ish thing so i’m gonna post this doodle of Karai and Leonardo bc it also summarizes one problem i have with 2012 and then the rest of my thoughts will be under keep reading

if you can’t read my handwriting/the quality of the phone picture is too bad: Karai: You ever think about how we’re in this mess just because our dads were fighting over a girl? Leonardo: ...... Y. Yeah. All the time.

yeah so obviously i don’t really like the reason for The central conflict of the series and shredder’s motivation to begin with, especially when they put in a much better reason in his backstory but still focused on “gorl didn’t like me back :(”

like really this guy devotes his life to revenge, kidnaps his niece, tries to murder several children, allies himself with colonizing aliens, and literally dooms the earth to destruction all because... he’s an incel. like i do like how crazy devoted he is to his revenge bc i love that stuff but with this it’s just kind of funny when it’s not supposed to be. so! i would change his motivation to what it should have been and is actually in the show, namely: the whole thing about the Hamato Clan taking him in as a baby after they launched a devastating assault on a Foot Clan village, where they found him.

they do add in a little bit of it but. it should’ve been his main motivation, not just an extra thing! it could’ve even made him something of a sympathetic villain! like how i would’ve done it, he finds out about his origins as being part of the Foot Clan and the fate of his home village, and is enraged that he’s been lied to his whole life. he questions the honor of the Hamato Clan since they clearly attacked civilians - this was a village, and there were clearly kids there, he wonders if he really was the only child there and how many were not given the same mercy he did - and his family were apparently killed in the attack. so he confronts his brother yoshi about it (not sure if i’d have yoshi know about it or not but his reaction remains the same). saki expresses his desire to have revenge, tear the Hamato Clan down since he doesn’t believe that it deserves to continue to exist, but that doesn’t mean yoshi has to die too, and asks yoshi to join him. of course, since saki wants to kill yoshi’s dad as revenge, yoshi refuses, the two fight, tang shen jumps between, house burns down, big ol’ domino brick effect.

i think he still has feelings for tang shen and while he’s jealous he leaves it be and remains best friends with tang shen, and her death at his hand drives him further off the edge. he takes in miwa/karai partially as a way to make it up to tang shen, though he knows it’s not enough. oh and also as a dramatic irony/more revenge against the Hamato Clan since that’s exactly what they did to him.

while he is entirely dedicated to eradicating the Hamato Clan he gets more and more obsessed with revenge as the story goes on. like i’m thinking of having leo and karai suggest a truce between the Foot and the turtles with the Kraang threat afoot and shredder actually ends up accepting bc he agrees they can’t let the Kraang win. maybe more bc he genuinely cares abt karai in his own way and wants there to be a world for her to grow up in (even though at this point she’s been trained as an assassin for her entire childhood but. well. he’s still a villain yanno. “this is how my adoptive parents treated me when i was growing up, i don’t see what the problem is.” “your parents who you hate?” “yeah. what of it.”). but then, later on, he would become entirely obsessed with revenge and not care about anything else that happens, probably after killing splinter and finding it brought him no peace or satisfaction

seriously what’s up with 2012 allying with the Kraang. how do you see that working out for you sir. sure he was expecting a betrayal but. still.

of course he takes opportunity of the truce to steal mutagen and Kraang tech while they can and makes sure to make use of the fact that the turtles can’t interfere in his business to make more weapon deals and gain more territory.

... hmm... i could... have tang shen live... potentially surviving the wound... and she and yoshi both believe that miwa perished in the fire, and they either get divorced or they both move to usa together and then yoshi gets mutated and tang shen is left alone, not knowing that her husband turned into a giant rat... i mean that’s just a potential thing. it sounds a little bit melodramatic and contrived but i think tang shen should get to survive sometimes and making splinter Epic Divorce Man would be funny. i dunno just a thought!

while we’re on the topic of Foot Clan stuff i might as well talk a little about other Foot Clan goons

bebop and rocksteady join way earlier. i care them ok. not sure if they’d still be anton zeck and steranko... idw and bay movies are peak bopsteady ok, and i like them being friends from the start! also for design changes i just don’t agree with bebop being skinny. he’s fat :)

Xever doesn’t get mutated, i like his human design more and there are, what, three major black characters in 2012 and they’re all villains and all get mutated? let xever be human!! he’d also be a bit more of a major and respected villain, a very Neutral Evil type, and makes a point to show he’s out for himself and for his own survival. if possible he’ll try to talk his way out of situations when he can and speaks in support of the truce i mentioned earlier because he’d prefer it if the earth was still inhabitable. karai proclaims that he is her favorite among her dad’s cringe henchmen but the only thing they bond over is their mutual disdain of bradford. he just thinks karai is kind of a brat, if a very skilled and dangerous brat.

while bradford/rahzar is a fairly formidable threat, there would be more emphasis on how pathetic he is. he’s chuck norris so he deserves it. also he’s like a 50 year old guy who acts so entirely devoted to shredder who’s. what. 39 years old? 40? he deserves to be dragged more

i’m thinking mr baxter stockman wouldn’t be mutated either, i like his human design a lot too. he would also be much less of a loser in this rewrite since bradford would take that role. instead, he’s just... an absurdly normal genius scientist/engineering guy who happens to be part of a really evil crime organization full of evil ninjas. he’s polite and eccentric, happy to have someone who finally funds his many inventions and experiments, even if that someone happens to be someone literally called The Shredder. however, while he is a nice man, he is rather impatient when people rush him with inventions. whenever shredder tries his usual “if you fail there will be consequences” it just doesn’t work bc baxter points out that failure is part of the process and that shredder absolutely needs him to make the inventions shredder wants.

karai is weirded out by baxter the most bc he just seems so normal

later on when karai goes double-agent to try and take the Foot Clan down from the inside: i trust baxter the least leo: it’s the sweater isn’t it karai: it’s just so pink, i can’t stop looking at it whenever we’re having an Evil Ninja Crime Organization meeting! do you know the tonal dissonance of seeing him next to The Shredder? and listening to shredder speak in grunts and growls while baxter just keeps a chipper tone?? i don’t think i’ve ever used the word chipper to describe someone before but with him, it’s the only word i can think of!!! leo: he is disarmingly pleasant. karai: right!!! he looks more like someone’s wacky dad!! the other day he literally told me a dad joke. i felt like i was light-headed

i don’t think i’d change tiger claw very much, if at all. maybe make him a little less invincible at times, and a little more regretful of the outcome with alopex.

i have more thoughts but this is. already several walls of text so i’ll end this nonsense post here

[bittywitches]

Come Over (Ethan Dolan Fanfic)

A/N: Ethan’s stories abt him being sick made me soft so I wanted to write something abt it :)) Basically Y/N and Ethan have been going out for a while but Ethan isn’t the most expressive when it comes to showing his affection for his gf and he starts to realize that it might acc be a problem...

Ly guys hope you enjoy it <3

Used Tissues were strewn across the bed, falling off onto the floor. Tissue boxes were stacked carelessly on the night table, most of them half empty. Ethan’s almost dead phone was plugged into his wall, and he aimlessly scrolled through his insta feed, his hood over his head and the drawstrings pulled tight. The covers were draped all the way up to his chin. He groaned, his head burning up even more than the day before. being sick was bad enough, but Grayson leaving him to go to the beach just made it that little bit worse. He spent the entire day eating food and lying in bed doing nothing, and it drove him insane. He ached for any sort of human interaction. He even started making conversation with the Halloween decorations.

He went to his contacts and scrolled down until he found the person he was looking for. He pressed call and put the phone on speaker.

“Hey, hon.”

“Hi, cutie.”

His girlfriend laughed. “I think your medicine is making you loopy.”

“Course not, sweetness.”

“Right, sure. What’s up? You feeling any better?”

“No. Grayson abandoned me. I’m so bored. Come over.”

“Babe, I’m in a lecture hall right now.”

“Yea? Why’d you answer your phone?”

“Because it’s not currently going on.”

“Then come over!”

“It’s going to start soon, you dumbass.”

“Ugggghhhh.”

“Shut up, people will hear you.”

“When’s your lecture over?”

“In an hour.”

“Do you have to stay?”

“I’ll come over when it’s finished.”

“Ugh. Fine. BYEEE SUGAR MUFFIN!”

“Oh my god people are staring at me now you’re such an asshole k bye”

She cut the phone, and he laughed out loud. Embarrassing his girlfriend was one of his favourite things to do. He chuckled to himself again, then went back to scrolling through his feed, and finally stopped when his eye caught the familiar face of his favourite girl.

It was a picture she had posted a few hours before, of her and Ethan sitting in front of the campfire they had made the weekend before. They’d gone camping with a few of their friends, and they had an amazing time. Y/N and Ethan were sitting on a log in front of the fire, roasting marshmallows. Ethan’s was already burnt, and Y/N was laughing in the photo while she had her arm linked around his. He looked at how happy she looked, and how dang good she looked with her messy hair and face smeared with the ashes from the fire, and he smiled to himself. He really was the luckiest guy in the world, to have such an amazing girlfriend. He swiped to see the next photo she’d posted, and it was of her kissing him on the cheek while Ethan made the fakest annoyed expression in the world. He cringed, looking at his dumb face next to hers. Her arms were carelessly thrown over him, wrapped around his neck, and her eyes were scrunched tight. One of his arms was wrapped around her, and the other one was still holding his now on fire marshmallow. She had posted it with a caption: 

Firstname.Lastname Eww he tastes like sweat and ashes 😣

He snorted.

She was absolutely adorable.

He started typing up a comment:

that’s what you get for kissing me 😈

He read it over, shook his head, then cleared it to write something else:

Your kisses are still the sweetest 😉

He liked that better, and smiled when his phone dinged just a few minutes later:

Firstname.Lastname liked your comment: Your kisses are still the sweetest 😉Firstname.Lastname mentioned you in a comment: @ethandolan 😊❤️

Ethan wished that he didn’t have to look so stupid in the picture. He loved it when Y/N kissed him, he was just too awkward to ever voice that out loud, or show it for that matter. She was just so amazing, and sometimes it seemed like he had no idea how to show her that. 

“Why does she have to have her stupid lecture...”

Two hours later, Ethan finally perked up at the sound of the front door opening. He heard the thud of her shoes hitting the floor, the rattle of her keys being thrown onto the table, and then her soft footsteps racing up the stairs. The click of her turning the doorknob, and the creak of his door opening to reveal her, in his old sweatshirt and tights, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, holding some grocery bags.

“Oh my god, you look like hell.”

“Thanks, gorgeous.”

She laughed, walking up to his bed and plopping down beside him. She felt his forehead, and her eyebrows scrunched up.

“What did you do to get yourself this sick in the first place?”

“I ran outside in the middle of the night in nothing but my birthday suit then dived into the pool.” His nasal voice made his sarcastic remark sound funnier than it should have.

“Haha.” She grabbed her bags and began pulling out various assortments of items.

“What’s all this?”

“Just stuff to make you feel better.” She pulled out some hot soup (that Ethan had no idea how she had the time to make), cough drops, more cold medicine, a huge bag of chips, and a small, purple teddy bear, which she placed in front of him.

“Who’s this little guy?”

She grinned. “Just someone to keep you company when you get bored during one of my lectures again.”

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t deny that he loved the little thing. It was adorable. Like her.

“You know you didn’t have to go to all the trouble of getting this stuff.”

“Well, when you called me you sounded pretty bad.”

“I just missed you.”

She looked at him weirdly for a moment, but then shook her head and began to put the items onto his night table.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Dude.”

“Nothing.”

He shoved her shoulder gently, and she rolled her eyes.

“Do you want soup?”

“Uhuh.”

She opened the container and handed it to him, along with a plastic spoon. He gratefully took it, slurping it down a bit obnoxiously, but she smiled at him nonetheless.

“You know, you’d think that someone with such a nice house and so much storage place would have quick-to-make soup around.”

“Come on, you know soup is like the most boring dish ever.”

She gave him an annoyed look.

“Ah ah ah Babe I need a tish!” He hastily put the bowl onto his night table while trying to hold in his sneeze, while Y/N grabbed the nearest tissue box and handed him one. He sneezed loudly.

“Jesus, that gets really annoying.”

“Yea, I can tell.” She gestured to all of the crumpled up tissues. “This is so nasty, how do you just sleep with all of these surrounding you?”

She grabbed his trash can and began tossing the tissues into the basket. 

“Oh babe no that’s gross! You don’t have to-“

“Oh my god just shut up and let me take care of you!”

She gave him a heavy sigh and continued to clean up. Ethan gave her a blank stare, unsure of what to say. 

“..Thank you.” He decided on that.

He looked over at him, looking a bit pissed off. “Hey, if you think I was fishing for a-“

“No! Jeez, I’m being serious. You didn’t have to do any of this or even come here at all since I’m assuming you’ve got a lot of work to do, and I’m really thankful for that. For you.”

She blinked. “Seriously, is there something in your medicine?”

“Oh my fucking god!” He flopped back onto his pillow. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just not used to..” she waved her hands vaguely. “All this from you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She finally finished picking up all the tissues, then sat down next to E on the bed. She grabbed the bag of chips and popped it open, then tossed one into her mouth. 

“You wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Are you saying I have to get up?”

“Wow okay bye then-“

“No!” He laughed, grabbing her arm to prevent her from getting off the end without him. “I’m kidding. Yes, a movie sounds great.”

Y/N sat cross-legged on the couch, idly scrolling through the movies on Netflix. Ethan sat across on the other side of the couch, eating more of the chips. 

“What about this one?”

“Seen it already.”

She groaned, clicking the remote louder than usual as if to display her annoyance. “You’ve already seen like every movie ever.”

“Well there isn’t much else to do when you're sick.”

“Blegh.”

Y/N rested her chin on her hand. Her ponytail was falling apart a little bit, and little strands fell to float against her cheek. Ethan loved to play with her hair. He’d do it a lot without ever thinking about it. They’d be hanging out with their friends, and he’d just begin fiddling with ends. At one point Y/N had gotten so annoyed by it that she had told him he might as well just braid it instead. But surprisingly to her, Ethan actually liked that idea. And so, she taught him how to do it, and from then on whenever she came over she would end up leaving with her hair braided. She’d always say it annoyed her, but Ethan knew she secretly loved it from the way he saw her smile whenever he did it.

Ethan found himself zoning out, just staring at her as she was looking for a movie for them to watch. Her face, her eyes, her mouth, her nose, her hands, her arms, her back...

“Oh oh! How about this one?”

Y/N startled him back to reality. “Hm? Yea. Sure.”

“God finally.”

To be honest, Ethan wasn’t even sure what they were going to watch.

“Hey, hold on. I’m gonna go get something.” He got up to go head towards his bedroom.

“Get what?”

“A blanket.”

“What? Why?”

“So we can cuddle.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “What?”

Ethan shrugged. “I’m cold. And I wanna cuddle.”

Y/N’s mouth hung open for a second, having no idea what to do in this situation. 

He wanted to what?

Yea, of course, they’d cuddled before, but he’d never been so bluntly said that he wanted it. She was always so sure that he was embarrassed by it. “Really?”

“Well, Yea.”

She blushed hard, looking away from him and smiling to herself, then looked back

at him. “Okay.”

He smiled at her. “Okay.”

“you are so fucking comfy.” Y/N nestled up closer to Ethan, burying her face into his sweatshirt. Her legs were carelessly thrown on top of him, and Ethan rubbed her thigh under the blanket.

“That is the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“And you should be grateful, mister.”

He chuckled and planted a kiss on Y/N’s forehead. He heard her sigh in content.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting sick from me?”

“Oh, this is definitely worth it.”

“God, you are so cute.”

She blushed. “Babe, what is up with you today?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know...” he stroked his fingers along her back. “Guess I just realized that I don’t appreciate you enough.”

Y/N snorted. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ethan repositioned himself so he was facing Y/N, her lying on his arm with her hands pressed up against his chest. “You know, you’re just...”

“I’m what?”

“Amazing.”

Her face turned even more red than before, and Ethan grinned. “Man, I didn’t know I could do that to you so easily.”

“Yea well, you’d know if you tried once and a while.”

As soon as the words left her mouth Y/N covered her mouth with her hands, wishing she could take those words back.

Ethan’s face fell. “Ouch. Guess that was a jab at me, huh?”

“It just came out, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, Y/N. you did.”

“I did not!”

“You did.”

Y/N tried to say something, but the words got caught in her throat. She sighed, pushing the loose strands of hair up and out of her face. “Babe..”

“No, you don’t have to explain yourself. It makes sense, I’m not the greatest with that kind of stuff. I just didn’t know it ever bothered you that much.”

She let her head fall onto the side of the couch. “It doesn’t, not really..” She paused. “I don’t know. It’s just nice when you hear those kinds of things from the person you love, yknow?”

Ethan tucked another peaking strand behind her ear. “I may not say it all the time, but you know that’s how I feel, don’t you?”

“Yea...” she started playing with his drawstrings. “I just... You know how you said you missed me? Well that... it just makes my heart-“ she pressed her hand on top of the place where Ethan’s heart would be, then made an exploding motion with her hands along with a little sound effect. “You know?”

He took her hand and pressed it against his heart again. “Well, if it makes it any better...” he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “You make my heart feel like that every day.”

Y/N beamed at him. She reached up and grabbed his face, then kissed him. Ethan couldn’t help but moan a bit, kissing her back stronger than he ever had. When they finally pulled apart, Y/N looked just as bewildered as he did.

“Where did that come from?”

“I have no clue.”

“Well-“

Before he knew it Y/N was kissing him again, cradling his jaw in her hands. Her eyebrows were furrowed, lost in the feeling of Ethan’s lips against hers. It was like nothing mattered but the two of them, underneath their little blanket.

Ethan pulled away suddenly in some sort of urgency and caught his breath. 

“I love you.” He rubbed her cheek. “And I’m sorry that I don’t say it enough.”

Y/N breathed out, smiling at him wide.

“I’m probably definitely going to get sick.”

“Y/N!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” She pecked him on the lips.

 “I love you too.”

[hopesiick]

𝐉𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐃 // vice detective, thirty-three, red ridge native.

— unflinching, grudging, brainy, irreverent, plucky, mulish. loosely inspired by dominique dipierro (mr robot), laurie blake (watchmen hbo), eve polastri (killing eve), wendy byrde (ozark), and allie pressman (the society). this vine, too.

howdy, folks! i’m dev. 🤠 this is my dearest brain babie, jordan. normally, this is where i’d get all mushy-gushy on y’all, but the rest of this introduction is already too long as it is, and i’d rather not add insult to injury hehe. just know i’m happy to be here & even more excited to get to know you all + your brain babies, too! 🥳 @redridgeimp​​

— pinterest, stats + connections page.

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑: bullet points marked with three asterisks (***) feature mentions of domestic abuse and unfit parenting. reader discretion is advised.

the toussards are old money. her mother’s side of the family have made their fortune off of hay farms scattered across the state of nevada, and her father’s side of the family have mostly been cattle and dairy farmers. together, they decided to venture into real estate, too, by buying up farm land plots and selling them at a higher price, along with residential plots, too. 

they’re not showy people, but they definitely make good use of their money. jordan’s childhood home is a plantation-style house on a big ole plot of land situated on the outskirts of town. they had healthy green grass with sprinklers and a full garden. inside, everything was real wood, ivory, and silver. they had a maid and gardeners and the whole nine yards. still, if you hadn’t seen that or recognized their family name, you might have expected them to be any other family belonging to red ridge. 

to many, they gave off the image of a picture-perfect, all-american nuclear family. it’s easy to pretend, seeing as they live so far away from all the glitz and none of them -- no matter how they feel -- are willing to shatter that golden reputation, but it isn’t real. elise, her mother, wanted a doll more than she wanted an actual child, and it was society’s pressure on women to give birth that forced her hand, not any sense of innate desire for expanding the family. joseph, her father, was too caught up in his wife’s every wish and whim to really pay attention to jordan in a deep way. he never turned his back on her, but jordan never felt any deep belonging to him either -- if anything, he felt more like a 2d stand in for the father she wished she’d had. 

*** that meant there was only one adult left to really pick up her parent’s slack, and that was corinne, her aunt. corinne, who had an awful habit of bringing terrible men home. corinne, who was bipolar and unmedicated, and often in charge of taking care of jordan from the moment she was in diapers to the moment she graduated college. corinne, who was manipulated by her own sister. corinne, who was helpless to protect jordan against her mother’s attacks, and unable to shield her from the rage her boyfriends spat. corinne is like a mother to jordan. she was the hand that rubbed her back when she was sick. she was the open arms that held her when one of jordan’s teenage dates went sour. she was the one to cover for her when she snuck out and the one to teach her everything her mother considered too immoral and dirty. corinne is her mother in the way elise never could be, but still .. jordan can’t help but feel anger towards her. 

*** jordan’s known how to use, fire, and clean a gun from the age of eight. she learned how to hunt at the age of ten. she knew and helped her father field dress a handful of animals by the age of twelve. you may think this was just a bit of heavy-handed bonding between a father and daughter, but it wasn’t. elise and joseph used to go away a lot, both for pleasure and business, which left jordan in corinne’s sole care. that wouldn’t be a problem, if it weren’t for the fact that a grand majority of corinne’s relationships were abusive, specifically physically. jordan was a child, but she was a child with a duty -- a duty to protect her caretaker if necessary. at the time, jordan didn’t think much of it. she liked feeling like she had an in with her father, liked feeling important. it was only when she got older that she realized how fucked up everything had been, and how that’s the driving factor behind the feeling of fear she just can’t drop, and the mistrust she has in others. the anger she feels towards corinne is rooted in that. she can’t help but feel like it’s corinne’s fault and she hates that her aunt -- a fully grown adult -- was the center of her childhood, instead of her own self.

skipping forward a bit, jordan went to college right after high school to major in criminal science. her lifelong exposure to such abuse left her with a taste for vengeance. see, jordan wanted to be a police officer to protect her hometown, sure, but she also wanted the badge so that she could finally dish out the punishment that so many of the officers she’d seen were unwilling to. the only way to stop that culture of turning a blind eye was to do it from the inside, and that’s exactly what she did. 

jordan’s been a cop for twelve years now. she started her career doing patrol and eventually working with the gangs and narcotics team for five years. after a lot of pestering and brown-nosing, jordan became a g&n detective. she was mostly in charge of surveillance, carrying out raids, and the planning of both. ( she had an opportunity early in her career to go undercover, but jordan’s too obvious for that. ) eventually, jordan switched departments over to the special victims unit, but that stint really only served as a segue into where she is now: the vice and support department. she used to specialize in community outreach, helping bridge the gap between the community and the precinct. she worked with groups focused on helping those affected by drugs and sex workers who have been abused. when one of the detectives assigned to missing persons cases left, jordan was quick to apply for it. needless to say, she got the job and has been doing that since.

she’s got the nose for it -- all the digging and reviewing and passion for the relentless pursuit. she doesn’t particularly like dealing with the families of those affected, but it’s part of the job. on most days, she genuinely enjoys it, but with the rise in crime and the amount of deaths at their feet, jordan can’t help but rethink her choices. she’s competitive by nature; she can’t handle these losing games. 

jordan’s a very cutthroat cop -- especially in her g&n days, when it was all heat, all pressure, all the time. she’s got an eye for weakness and isn’t afraid to exploit that on the job. she’s not above making threats -- promises, really -- and has always been the type to gather as much evidence as humanly possible, because she wants prosecutors to see justice through. she’s just really efficient. she wouldn’t be where she was at only thirty-three if she wasn’t. most of the time, you can catch her putting in overtime hours. 

that being said... jordan has a big heart. she doesn’t believe in institutions as a whole, but she does believe in people. the law is the law and rules are vital for a functioning society, but .. she may be willing to look the other way sometimes, if you’re close enough. ( i mean, she was married to a valencia member at one point, so. ) she may not agree with what some people do, but she’ll really only go after you if what you’re doing is truly heinous. ( but don’t tell her supervisors! 🥺 and don’t mention the hypocrisy to her face. )

outside of work, though, jordan’s pretty chill. she used to be a loudmouthed firecracker in her youth, but she’s calmed down significantly since then. really, she’s not so bad! maybe it's because she can't handle being alone, but she thrives from being in groups + will strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone. if she likes your shoes, she'll tell you. if you need a ride home then she’ll walk with you because she’s most likely equally as inebriated. kind of the person that you’re hesitant to approach, but when you do she treats you like you’re old friends -- even if you're not. you know that drunk girl in the bathroom that gives you sagely advice or tells you she loves your hair? that’s jordan, except she’s not drunk. 

when jordan makes her mind up on something, it’s almost impossible to get her to budge. it doesn’t matter if she’s in the wrong, she’ll trudge on no matter what. her flippancy in the face of danger – a prized act at this point – has landed her in trouble before, and it most certainly will again. she’s unyielding and unapologetic; not willing to change herself for anyone. getting her to talk about her emotions is like pulling teeth, except even that would probably be easier. she’s incredibly honest about some things as a way to hide behind it; it’s a farce that distracts people into thinking she’s being honest with them, when really she’s not -- not entirely, anyway. 

loves love, but she’s rotten at it. her anxiety gets in the way, tells her that she’ll mess it up somehow until she finally does, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. ( something-something abt the fact that she can’t comprehend someone loving her if not even her own parents could ). she’s a much better friend, and jordan thinks that’s more important anyhow. genuinely, if you’re her friend then she loves you endlessly and earnestly.

𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒓 !

jordan is that friend that gets a little bit too into car karaoke.

she’s also the type to order a screwdriver during an 11a brunch.

it’s a wonder that she doesn’t have tinnitus, considering she always blasts heavy metal music in her car.

makes jokes about getting married and divorced, because if you can’t laugh at your pain then you’re fucked.

if you ever visit her unannounced, you’ll spot her in t-shirts that say “milf in training”, “god looks like me”, and more.

if you’re mean to her she’ll give you a parking ticket.

she plays dirty in fights. used to bite a lot as a child and she still does. all is fair in love and war, babie! enjoy getting that tetanus shot and lovely hospital bill! 💋

pantsuits from monday to friday, and overalls without a bra on the weekend because fuck that shit. also extremely partial to shirts with low plunges. a lil bit of side titty for everyone. 

if you’re leaving a drink behind she’ll finish it for you because daddy didn’t raise no quitters.

has a lot of self-worth issues, but she’d sooner die than ever tell anyone about them or even confront them herself. 

don’t let the pantsuit fool you! there’s pure muscle underneath that two-piece, babie. 

𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄. 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔:

“i am the shape you made me. filth teaches filth.”

"can i be blamed for my efforts? all men are drawn to the sea, perilous though it may be."

"there is a place, deep in the heart of fear, where you trap yourself and claim that is safety."

"still, a great deal of light falls on everything."

"i hold a stalk in my hand. i am the stalk. my roots go down to the depth of the world."

“i always figured when i got older, god would sorta come into my life somehow. and he didn’t. i don’t blame him. if i was him i would have the same opinion of me that he does.”

“nothing washes off.”

“you cannot be stolen, ransacked, looted like an emptied bank account or a burgled house. you are the tough old tissues, the exquisite scars. you are the thing that would not die.”

𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒔 ! ( open to any gender ) 

jordan can’t function without a best friend, so.. gimme, please! 🥺🤲

i once read a passage talking about how the friendships you make in your childhood can never be mimicked in your adulthood, and you know what.. #true. where’s jordan’s childhood friends at? do they still keep in touch? did they have a massive fallout as teenagers where jordan told them to get hit by a truck because she was a very dramatic 16 yr old? were they frenemies? do they still have one of jordan’s things because she was terrible at remembering everything after a sleepover? did jordan’s parents help your muse’s family out? idc, just gimme!

exes / almost exes. remember what i said about jordan being a shit when it comes to love? they could’ve been serious at some point whether as adults or in their youth, maybe it was short-lived, maybe jordan never even let it get off the ground. could be on good terms or bad terms or no terms at all. 

neighbors!! jordan pulls some odd hours n sometimes plays her music a little too loud and burns her food more often than she should at 33 yrs old. she may or may not be the best neighbor to have is all i’m saying, but she tries!! 

friends!! platonic love is the most purest form of love there is and she’s got a lot of it to give!! come and get ya some! 

enemies / hateships because sometimes .. it just be like that. whether this has to do with a falling out of some sort, just straight up hate at first sight, or something to do with an encounter on the job, or something else entirely i’m here for it! 

one night stands / [old] fwb. i’m gonna be honest with y’all: if jordan likes you, then she can’t sleep with you. now, i’m gonna be honest with y’all again: jordan’s very much a yes-girl. she says and does things just to get a reaction sometimes or see what’ll happen ( something-something "sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them" ). that being said, she’ll sleep with just about anyone. maybe they don’t talk about it ever, maybe they only ever talk when they want something, maybe they regret it, maybe it’s all gucci, and maybe it was good until it wasn’t. idk! 

jordan has been shot twice in her career thus far. the first time was during a noise disturbance call and the second time was during a narc raid. if your muse wants in on that we can discuss the deets! 

and also literally whatever else your heart desires because i’m both here for the fluffiest deepest connections ever and also the angstiest makes-me-wanna-die type shit. i literally don’t say no to anything so if you have any ideas you think jordan can be a good fit for, i’m all ears!! 

[testifytime]

👀 Oh hey bro. I was wondering if you could possibly analyze me. Whatever section(s) you want!! You know me and can see what I told Tobes but I’ll say some fun facts?? I foster kittens in my free time, love staying up late, and have a thing where I start dancing with a blank face in the corner of my friends’ vision to make them laugh. I know sign language and (still) drink too much coffee.

(Only did the Pokemon and Homestuck ones, if that’s okay!)

- A Pokemon team/type theme (+ fun facts abt your team!)

You’d have a team full of psychic types - mostly the very brainy ones!

Your main Pokemon is Reuniclus, but your team also consists of Alakazam, Beldum, Bronzong, Beeheeyem, and Grumpig!

Fun facts!

Reuniclus loves to give hugs. It’s a hugging fiend, in all honesty! The only problem is sometimes it forgets its own strength, and you have to try and extract it from people before they get hurt. It doesn’t mean to, though!

Alakazam just kind of... showed up one day? You don’t know where it came from or why it stayed, but it listens to you when you ramble on about your theories and even helps you find ancient books that help confirm or deny them, so you really don’t mind. 

Beldum and Bronzong you got together! They’re kind of weird, admittedly, because despite being inanimate object-based Pokemon, they almost act like cats? You’ve gotten dead-leg from them both before when they’ve settled down on your thighs for pets. You never have the heart to make them move. 

Beeheeyem you got from a friend! Your theorist buddy caught one and gave it to you, saying it reminded them of you. You’re not sure if it’s an insult or not, but it’s friendly enough, and you’re even starting to decode what the flashing of its fingertips mean!

Grumpig likes to dance with you! You and it tend to dance together to make people laugh, though it sometimes gets annoyed if it doesn’t work. 

- Bloodcaste/lusus/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck troll (+lore)

You’re an indigoblood with a sphinx cat lusus! Your chumhandle is classifiedCranium.

You live in a hivestem with a bunch of other highbloods, settled somewhere around the 5th floor. You don’t really like living there, all things considered, but after an unfortunate accident (read: you blew up your house), it was the best you could find. You don’t agree with a lot of what your caste says, so you tend to keep to yourself in your apartment - which is pretty sweet, actually, considering it’s just a huge space with a kitchen that opens out into a livingroom, with a bedroom off to one side and a bathroom joined onto it. You have an entire library lining one wall of the livingroom, along with a bunch of books, gamegrubs, and DVDs. On the other side, taking up most of the wall itself, is a giant TV that practically looms over the triple-sofa-setup you have going on. You have an even bigger library on the TV, which is even hooked up to act as a computer when you activate the holopad. 

Being highclass has its benefits. You just really wish it didn’t also come with the nosey neighbours constantly trying to exploit your weaknesses so they can kill you and take all your shit. Luckily, you’re pretty good at playing games. After the last attempt (read: explosions), nobody really tries to bother you anymore. 

You like to study medicine with the dream of one day becoming a doctor of some sort. Like, a real one, not the ones where they just kind of kill more people than they save. It’s something the other highbloods don’t really understand, but you don’t care, because you also like to study the brain and pick apart what makes people tick, and you know they’re narcassistic, potentially psychopathic assholes anyway. They’re good experiments for you, though you SWEAR you don’t mean that as badly as you say it! You just like testing out potentials with them, like if using one psychological argument appeals to them over another, or if one thing incites them while another calms them. You’ve gotten pretty good at winning arguments like that! You’ve also almost lost your head a few times. It’s... a work in progress.

On the side, you like to spend time actually helping lowbloods. You’re not great at it yet, but you know enough medicine to help them with cuts and bruises, and with the sicknesses that the usual doctors would just kill them for having. You’re pretty good at helping their lusii, too! They like to give you things as a result, little trinkets and oddities that you collect and put up on a shelf on your wall. It’s nice, to be appreciated, even if you don’t ask for it. 

You have a bunch of friends online who like to encourage your frantic analyses. You and another tend to go on wild rambles about all sorts of things, going back and forth for hours until someone manages to calm you both down or until you eventually drag everyone else into it. You’ve made entire UNIVERSES with your friends this way, and it’s been a blast from the start! You think you’ve come out from your shell a little since you got to know them - a lot bolder, a lot more firm in your own stances - and you’ve even started to draw more, too. It’s fun, creating with them. Sometimes you wait impatiently to see what they’ll be creating next. 

You have a slight caffeine addiction that keeps you up at night, but that’s okay, you figure. It means you get to catch up on all the things you were too busy during the day to do - such as reading, watching shows you’re behind on, and researching things one of your friends brought up. There’s a bunch of content that you’re lagging on, but you’ve got basically all night to get through it. It’s worth it, too; you end up with a thousand more ideas to share in the morning on a caffeine-induced high!

Your lusus is kind of a weird size, if you’re completely honest. They’re not the biggest you’ve ever seen a cat lusus be, but they’re probably up to your knees? They like to curl up on your lap - even though they’re a bit too big for it - and demand scratches, and don’t really do much else even though you’re PRETTY sure you have a lususflap in the back door. They’re a little lazy like that, but that’s okay. You adore them, and they love you enough to bring you back snacks the few times they do go out, so it works. 

- Symbol/guardian/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck kid (+lore)

Your symbol is a fountain pen with an ink splot beneath it, and your guardian is your grandpa! Your chumhandle is cerebralCounterfeit.

You and your grandpa live in a pretty simple suburban house in what is otherwise seen as a ghosttown. There’s not actually that many people who live here, and those who do are pretty much too stubborn to leave even though there’s no viable jobs and no up-to-date laws. It even still has a sheriff. And a western-style jail. That said, what with your grandpa’s condition, you basically get free reign of the entire upstairs of the house (including the attic, which is filled with weird artefacts and books that you’re pretty sure have been banned in most countries), and can haul all of your weird interests up into your room without issue. 

You like to study medicine and the brain, to really pick it apart and understand it and figure out what makes people Like That. You’ve got books upon books about it, some of which you only kind of barely understand, a lot of which are really dry and boring, but you’ve figured out ways to keep it fun! And you’re learning more and more as the days go by, so you think you’re making progress. You’re really good at figuring out what makes people tick, anyway, and at settling arguments - and with all your studying on medicine, you’ve gotten good at helping out the local animals! Your guardian won’t let you actually help people, so you’ve settled for this instead - at least for now. 

As a result of this, your house kind of looks like a zoo. There are healing birds and a litter of bunnies with their mom in the living room, and a bunch of kittens that you’ve fostered (which you’ve given the run of your room, plus a cattio attached to your window - which they love!). You get visits every now and then from the fox you helped untangle from a plastic sack, and hedgehogs like to come to your back door for treats. You feel a little like Doctor Doolittle! 

You love spending time with your friends. Every moment that you can, you’re on your phone, or your laptop, frantically typing out responses to everything they’ve sent while you were asleep. Sometimes it’s fanciful - ideas of the lot of you spending time together, of being in cartoons and comics and books - and sometimes it’s more wordy - theories you share that go a little off the rails if you’re not careful - but it’s always, always fun. And, of course, sometimes you realise that you share more fandoms than you think - and that just starts a whole NEW ramble session that riles everyone up and sets the chat on fire for the next few hours.

The only downside, of course, is that they’re aware of your caffeine addiction, and how late you stay up at night. It’s become kind of a joke for you all, more than anything, and it’s nice in its own way. You know they do it because they care about you. So, you try to be there for them, too; a stable, grounding force capable of taking anything!

Sometimes, you go outside just before the sun starts to rise over the horizon. It’s usually only on days where you couldn’t sleep - either because you woke up and couldn’t drift off again, or because you drank too much coffee and just didn’t sleep at all - but you sit out on the steps of the sheriff’s office, a cup of coffee in your hand, and try to ignore the wails of ghosts that call to you from the jails behind as you watch the sunrise. 

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

[pcttigrew]

its bee back again with the ball of insecurities and sass that is peter pettigrew wyd 

did someone just say they saw KEIYNAN LONSDALE on the hogwarts express ?? never mind — it’s just that SEVENTH year GRYFFINDOR, PETER PETTIGREW. he’s pretty INTUITIVE + FACETIOUS, but one of the portraits whispered to me that he’s also FOOLHARDY + SELF-DOUBTING. anyways, i hear they PLAN ON entering the tournament!

(    laughter breaking the stillness of a suburban summer night, coughing on whiskey and cigarettes, running a restless hand over close-cropped hair, the soft ticking of a grandfather clock, bruised knuckles stuffed in the pockets of scuffed jeans. the golden rays of the late afternoon sun. quick glances seeking approval, a cheeky grin once it’s been earned. dog eared comic books in a cardboard box under your bed, feet dangling over the edge of the roof, staring down the stars, wanting to be a hero but not quite knowing how.   )

PINTEREST BOARD ! 

been playing pete for over 4 years now but this is my first time playing him with a keiynan fc so be gentle sjflkdsjf

PETER PETTIGREW. born in sheffield, england to a muggle father and a magical mother. he lived in a small brick house with old fashioned furniture. his family has always been catholic so he dressed up and went to church every sunday. he was an only child, and it showed – his parents adored him and coddled him from the moment he was born.

perhaps because of this, or perhaps because he was a wizard, he didn’t really click with the muggle kids in his neighbourhood. he was more a mama’s boy, helping his mother dust and vacuum and fold the laundry and set the table for supper every day. his parents were worried that he wasn’t a very social child, and that he wouldn’t make many friends at hogwarts. they even considered holding him back a year, but ultimately decided against it.

but lo and behold, when he went to hogwarts he made friends! remus, sirius and james to be specific. and it was gr8 and they brought out this whole other side of him that he’d never shown before

this mischievous, snarky boy who’ll “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” your mum to her face but just as soon make a “your mom” joke when she’s out of earshot. his smile is either shy and endearing or the cheekiest lil shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. he’ll laugh at the worst of jokes. fluent in sarcasm. he’s great at seeming more innocent than he is ( a power used for pranks now, but much darker things later ). and yeah, he’s an enabler - his friends do stupid stuff and he doesn’t stop them. but so what? he’s a teenage boy.

his room is surprisingly neat. would never admit it but he kind of likes cheesy cliches ( he’s watched gone with the wind with his mum enough times he can quote it off by heart ). he wants to be a dashing hero like in the dog eared comic books he still has in a box under his bed. wants to sweep a girl off her feet. wants to be something more than the sidekick, at least once. sometimes he’s trying just a bit too hard to impress other people because he cares a lot more about what other people think of him than he likes to let on. slightly self conscious because he had a growth spurt over the summer – he used to be really short but now he’s all long limbs and stupid grins and dimples and he’s grown quite attractive but doesn’t realize it thank god. and hey – that’s just part of his charm. because he is charming. he just doesn’t realise it compared to james and sirius.

he compares himself to james and sirius a lot. peter has always been prone to insecure thoughts and nervous tics – during exam season his nails are always bitten down to stubs and his skin breaks out. and in the times he’s feeling particularly unhappy with himself he looks to his friends. and this can go either one of two ways – either they make him better and build him up. and really he should be able to do that himself but he’s always been dependent on other people. always. first his parents, then the marauders. OR he’s feeling insecure and he looks to his friends and sees how much better they are than him. how unattainable their status is. and he feels like a useless burden, dragging them down. those are his bad days. but they’re relatively infrequent – at least for now.

he has ways to dispel these thoughts. for one, he drinks. not the best coping mechanism, granted, but whiskey burns his throat and the inside of his chest like the fire he always wished he had burning inside of him, and it makes him feel stronger and it makes him feel braver and his friends are drinking with him and soon they’re all laughing and doing stupid shit together and then the alcohol washes away any doubts peter has. and it’s good.

and sometimes he gets into fist fights. he’s gotten better at it over the years, ever since sirius taught him that your thumb isn’t supposed to go inside your fist. he feels strong when he fights, he feels a reckless sort of freedom that’s as close to confidence as he’ll ever get. and sometimes he picks fights he knows he can’t win, but hey, that’s part of the thrill, right? because he also knows that his friends can bail him out, and he also knows that the black eye he’s going to have in the morning will make him look tougher, and people will fuss over him and ask questions. and it’s good.

if you asked peter what the most important thing in the world is to him, he would say his friends. and he would say his family. not once would it ever occur to him to say himself, or his own health or happiness. and i’ll get into this more later, but when the war begins, peter doesn’t betray his friends for himself, at least not at first. in a weird, twisted, misguided way, he does it for them. but again – i’ll get into that later.

he puts a lot of value on interpersonal relationships. and sometimes, that’s a good thing because he values those relationships and cherishes them, and he’s a wonderful friend and very intuitive. he can always tell if someone’s upset, and he’s a great listener. but also sometimes it’s a bad thing how much value he puts on those relationships. because he builds his own personal value off of them, and off how much people like him and support him. like i said – he’s always been dependent. he doesn’t know any way else to be.

and deep down, peter is an optimist. it’s his fatal flaw. how? because no matter how badly things are going, he thinks to himself that it’ll all turn out fine, in the end. something will happen, in the end. someone will save him, in the end. for instance – he has no idea what he wants to do after hogwarts. and sometimes that worries him, but most of the time he pushes it to the back of his mind. he can think about that later. it’ll turn out fine. and when the war starts, and he gets deeper and deeper involved with the death eaters, he refuses to admit how much it scares him and how big of a problem it’s becoming. because in the end, it’ll turn out fine. it always does for the good guys. he never considers that he may not be one of the good guys.

this is far far in the future and almost definitely wont happen in this rp but just to talk abt the motivation behind his betrayal --- he gets involved with the death eaters when it’s looking darkest for the order. and victory is looking certain for the death eaters. so he joins them because he has this stupid, stupid, naive hope that if he joins the death eaters, he can convince them to spare his friends when they inevitably win. he does it for them. and deep down, he knows that that’s not gonna happen, but he pushes it to the back of his mind. because it’ll all turn out fine.

[ TW CANCER, DEATH ] this year is the year his insecurity complex starts to come into play – when everything starts to unravel. it’s a slow process, and it begins with peter’s father. see, peter’s father is dying, but he doesn’t know it yet. no one does. it’s during a doctor’s appointment, a month from now, that william pettigrew will be diagnosed with stage ii pancreatic cancer. he won’t make it. he will die before peter graduates from hogwarts.

peter’s mother will not deal with it well. she will retreat into herself, mourning the death of her husband, and peter will be forced to spend most of the summer after his last year caring for her, while struggling with his own grief. suddenly, peter will go from the doting, loving support of both parents to the support of neither.

so he’ll turn to his friends, desperate, seeking validation and support, but they’re each starting their own lives. there’s a war starting, they’re all beginning their own independent lives but peter – remember, peter has always been dependent. and suddenly, his insecurities are making a surprise comeback. the golden years at hogwarts, what peter will later realize were the best years of his life, are gone, and so is the carefree boy peter used to be.

but anyway. that’s the canon future. but like, au rp, triwizard tournament, who knows what’ll happen?? could order!peter emerge???? will peter be able to deal with his growing insecurity complex in a healthy way??? stay tuned folks

either way though, right now peter is just a normal teenage boy, impulsive and goofy and self-conscious, excited about the tournament like the rest of the school, dreaming of glory and adventure

[tinybeanhealing]

Hello!! May I have a description when you have the time, please~ My sun is cancer, moon is gemini, mercury is leo, venus and mars are both cancer, and my rising is scorpio. 😄😄

Hi there, yes of course (: I have a gemini moon placement as well ! Glad to see a fellow nerdy one ! 

From the placements u listed (I can’t know too much without the house positions) it seems like u have a lot of water n a strong fire/earth placement. A lack of earth can be hard bc u might not feel like u can slow down or accomplish the tasks u set for yrself. But u are responsible n follow thru is important to u. If u don’t feel those things, it might be because u have earth energy coming from yr house positions or outer planet placements. Where u might feel a lot of intensity is in emotional sensitivity. Both fire n water are deeply sensitive n have access to those emotions. Water will offset fire’s need to perform or pretend the emotions away. Water won’t be vocal abt the emotion tho, that energy will make u keep it in n keep it private so no one else can see. Watch out for that tendency otherwise u might be prone to keeping everything in until u can’t n u explode them everywhere. U are deeply connected to the arts, u are probably psychic as well. U are a genius, u can take in information rlly well n comprehend it. U hunger for knowledge. It might feel comforting to do research or learn new things. Short term travel is very important for u, make sure u get out into the world for at least a day or three to recharge n feel most like yrself. U are family oriented (not necessarily yr original family but it could be). U love privacy. U aren’t into sharing yr whole self with ppl until they’ve kinda proven themselves to u.  U can be friendly when u need to be but it’s not yr natural state. When yr stressed u don’t like to talk abt it with other ppl, u need space n it’s ok to tell ppl that ! They will understand (: Ultimately u are good at taking care of ppl. Can have a tendency to be moody. U don’t like arguments but u can win them bc yr so smart. U can talk a LOT when u feel comfortable with someone. But u can also listen rlly well. U have a mysterious air abt u, u are deep n can be accused of being too serious or moody. But u are also playful n adventurous in some ways ! U are interested in taboo/sex/death/magic/occult. U might find it easier to tell ppl what they wanna hear rather than the truth. U have tons of talent ! U are very convincing. U are very set in yr beliefs. Very stubborn. U have a desire/need to be appreciated for the things u do n say. U think abt yrself n yr issues/problems a lot but not in a selfish way, in more of a self reflective way. U are mostly quiet n shy (at least in appearance). U have a need for security n loyalty. Feeling unloved might even have an effect on yr physical health. It’s easy for u to see thru ppl when they lie but sometimes u enjoy the flattery. U might have strong ties to yr mama (whether positive or negative) or yr home (whether positive or negative, original home or not).

I have more thoughts abt yr water/fire attitude versus perceived attitude but it’s intuition. Without knowing more abt yr house positions or honestly abt u in general, I can’t responsibly share those thoughts. If u ever wanna talk abt yr stars more, let me know ! I hope the description here holds some truth for u tho (: 

[inside-aut-blog]

Autistic Beau (Critical Role)

right out the gate the most obvious thing is that fjord explicitly coaches her on social skills. like, several times. several at her own request

the How To Give Compliments lesson in particular stands out, bc she’s like “wait. i sounded rude?? but i was being genuine!”, & she asks for his help practicing doing compliments right (& proceeds to do…badly); perfect example of missing social cues & struggling w/tone + facial expressions

literally the…entire aftermath of the bowl argument tbh:

explicitly asks fjord for help w/the apology bc she isn’t sure how to do it

when fjord goes “you, not good at apologizing??” she has to check if he’s joking; “you’re being facetious, aren’t you?

fjord: a great place to start w/apologies is to mention the stuff you just said beau: that i’m not good at apologies?

(a completely logical but also also very literalresponse)

fjord goes, “it takes a big person to apologize for something. little people are the ones that make mistakes and just let them go,” & beau’s all, “oh, like nott? a little person”; behold, another literal response

beau says “oh okay” when fjord tells her she shouldn’t smile while apologizing; seems genuinely surprised + grateful for the advice

fjord: there’s a thing called sarcasm that you ride a line with sometimes beau: okay, that’s good to know

(canonically struggles w/unintentional sarcasm, heyo)

an example of this is when she’s telling the group about what happened when she first met dairon, & they don’t really believe her bc she doesn’t sound entirely serious, even though she rly is

fjord also has to kinda talk her through that first hug w/caleb? she doesn’t know how to do it; unfamiliar & uncomfortable w/comforting folks

oh! fjord jester & nott all coach her through her awkward apology to toya

she’s generally low-empathy. like, she has to be told to apologize to toya, she struggles to understand caleb’s pov whenever they argue, she thinks jester’s genuinely happy & unbothered after the iron shepards stuff, she’s not all broken up by the dragon debacle, she affectionpunches the injured guy in felderwin, etc. etc.

on that note–she outright says that punches & the like are how she shows affection, & uhhh showing affection in unusual ways? that’s autistic.

relatedly. she seems most comfortable doing more traditional affection quietly? like, silently handing jester a tissue, waiting til jester’s asleep to tuck her in, wordlessly putting a hand on caleb’s shoulder, etc. (which isn’t necessarily autistic in itself, but is a mood for this autistic, so on the list it goes)

also like, ppl remark over & over again abt her poor social skills, particularly nott (“you think she was dropped on her head or something? she’s just very sort of…you know…”, “beau is terrible at relationships and social interactions,” [paraphrased] “you shouldn’t talk to yussa you’re abrasive and bad at this sort of thing”) and fjord (“sometimes when you compliment people it sounds like a fuckin insult,” “there’s a thing called sarcasm you ride a line with sometimes,” “[insert various bits of socialing advice here]”)

is the very first person to remark that holding + petting frumpkin, Designated Emotional Support Stim Cat, is therapeutic

on that note, again–beau has that weird characteristically autistic thing of mixing up informal & hyperformal speech? she speaks aggressively casually most of the time, but will still drop in shit like “facetious” instead of “joking,” & “therapeutic” instead of “calming,” & etc.

when she tells the truth, she’s almost invariably blunt, eg “i’m kinda concerned for your well-being–it’s fine, i’m not that concerned,” “i don’t know why i told you [i slept with dairon],” [insert literally any argument here], etc.

uhhhhhh sth abt her reaction to caduceus’s “tell the truth” thing–like, it doesn’t seem to’ve fully occurred to her before then that she could be selectively honest, or just bend the truth rather than outright lying? which strikes me as potentially autismrelated in the sense of. that’s a shade of gray, & black n white thinking is autism thing

anyway.

pocket bacon. a) doesn’t seem to realize it’s weird, & b) samefood…….

voice edges on monotone at times

just the fact she’s still wearing the cobalt vestiges early in the campaign, when she’s left the monks & hasn’t joined back up yet–sticking w/what’s familiar when it’s not necessary or even rly practical? autisti c

undercut + topknot? easy-to-take-care-of hairstyle, tie it n go

her eagerness to Get Into Sneaky Shit & quiet disappointment when she’s left out of said sneaky shit “bc it’s her whole thing” makes me think that like. that sort of espionage junk was maybe an old special interest of hers, in addition to obviously being Her Trade

big emotions that she struggles to regulate, esp. anger/frustration; has openly admitted having anger issues

relatedly she’s canonically gotten so frustrated & upset that she’s just started crying (granted it was at a broadly overwhelming moment–the succubus fight–but none of the others cried so like,)

lowkey has that “connects easier to animals than people” thing going on? is noticeably delighted every time she’s given frumpkin to hold; the very first time she holds him she’s all “he likes me :D!” –is also noticeably upset when the prof thaddeus saga goes down

lifelong struggle to make friends; never rly had them before the m9

asks a dude why he’s afraid of fire, ie why he has dissociative & nonverbal episodes whenever he burns someone to death. is then shocked that the reason is So Heavy

mmmm perseverates; eg in battles she’ll often Keep Trying To Stun over & over despite lack of success, in arguments she’ll keep hammering the same point, in General once she decides she wants to know a thing she digs & digs until she finds it out (file that under adhd as well)

sometimes overshares w/strangers w/out realizing she’s overshared; eg “yeah my parents named me beau because they always wanted a son,” said to bo like 30 seconds after meeting him

is shouty when they first meet keg & then apologizes for it & says “i’m trying to work on the manners thing”

the “long may he rein” bit at molly’s grave was echolalia

ok SO we all know traci is beau’s straightsona yes? but i hereby propose……….she is Also beau’s ntsona (sociable, bubbly, polite, uses more variation wrt tone of voice,,,)

when she touches the little window thing in halas’s study & pulls jester along with her, she’s like “ahhh! my actions have consequences that affect other people!!!” & that. is what we here in this house call an Autistic Mood (specifically a low-empathy autistic mood)

“is it wrong for me to feel okay when everyone else feels really bad” is Also an autistic mood (of the same variety)

she’s a great negotiator in terms of like. tactical shit? but when it comes to fuckin–emotional mediation stuff, she rly struggles. see: when she tries to mediate between nott & caleb in the apothecary basement (trips over her words & trails off, doesn’t seem to know what else to do/say)

canonically hates the color yellow. consider: is bc sensory bad

makes name puns. i’ve not met an autistic yet who didn’t love puns

seems surprised that no one else caught that her name is beau & she fights w/a bo staff–the redundancy is obvious to her, so surely it must be to everyone else aswell?? (what do u mEAN no????)

OH. when beau says to jester “i mean…you could watch if u wanted” re: her hypothetically kissing dairon & then is like “…would that make you uncomfortable? –nevermind” that’s. autism; foot in mouth not realizing how other ppl will feel

misses…..unstated implications. like down in the sewer w/the drow, they decide to just leave the dude & the beacon behind & beau’s like “we’re letting him leave without it?” & the others are like. we’re leaving both we don’t know if he’ll take it [wonk] not our problem, & she’s again like “but he won’t take it?” until fjord translates & goes “yes, he’s taking it”

she’s like “caleb u can just get a new fuckign jacket, god” but does she get herself a new one?? no. she jus adds a new lining to the monk robes she’s already got & calls it good, like a goddamn Dweeb

also when her arm wraps got burned off she immediately went to replace them; i’m betting she just Feels Weird w/out them bc Is Different, + that they provide some nice pressure times

also after the yussa encounter she says “ i could barely speak i could barely get words out,” which like. semiverbal……….

in ep 57 she said the “sensory overload” words, so mark that down for a phrase she is readily familiar with

[vampirekriztian-gotha-blog]

Hiya folks!<3 so here’s a bio on Kriztian down under the “read more” and y’knw the drill, u can either hmu or like this intro post if you wanna plot connections or anything with him! <33 (pls do as i would love lots of connections for him as well!:)) )

ok so he’s from the old Gotha royal family in germany as u can digest from his url, and he’s the oldest sibling i think (for now ).  Despite him being older than Victoria (the current queen) he never ever wanted the throne/ become king and his stubborn refusal to become the heir for the throne was very strong when he was young due to his younger personality who didnt want the vry heavy and very difficult responsiblities of a king.

ok so back when he was younger, before he turned 500 XD, he was actually a very care-free, v happy, very playful,  vry  active, a bit of fun-loving,  full of life, and def couldn't care less about his royal duties/responsibilities kind of guy.  He loved to gallivant about hvaing fun and seeking adventures and often would shirk his royal duties/responsibilities, and never took his royal lessons seriously except for the lessons/subjects he was interested in. He was also at that time, very flirtatious, pretty romantic and a very charming playboy. He also didnt really care much about his attire at that time, preferring simple and easy to wear clothing instead of elegant and finely -made garments and stuff.  He was very skilled at sports hence  he naturally took to his fighting as a vampire lessons very well and easily, thus paving the way to become one of the most top skilled vampire fighters around. (but all he’s fighting is mostly to defend himself or people as he hates the thought of murdering people for fun) And so, bcos he wanted to get out of ever inheriting the throne and instead would rather his next sibling have it, he rebelled against his heir duties a few times, tried his dammnest to prove he  wasn't worthy of the crown to his parents and openly refused his parents to become heir to the throne whenever they tried to talk or convince him. So his exasperated parents eventually gave up and let Victoria, their 2nd child be the crown princess instead, to which Kriztian happily & quickly stepped down as heir when they finally made that decision.

When he was 500 yrs old, he met a  human girl and soon fell deeply and madly in love with her. They got married and he was blissfully happy with his wife and it was actually her who got him to change his ways and become a more serious, matured, and responsible person thus he began to take his royal duties properly and seriously since then. He settled down and eventually became less of an adventure& thrill-seeker, content with his current life. And when his wife eventually became pregnant, he was beyond ecstatic and both of them became very excited and so eager to meet their child.

However his whole world came crashing down when his wife became deathly ill due to a fatal disease during the last trimester of her pregnancy and desperate Kriztian searched the whole country for a way to cure her, any way, even magical ways.

he finally met a witch who claimed she could magically save his wife and baby from death if he paid her an extravagant sum of gold in return. HIghly desperate and not thinking clearly, he agreed and paid her instantly and she chanted some sort of spell and did some magical ritual. however, was actually very sadly conned by a selfish and greedy witch, as poor Kriztian then watched the whole terrible process of his beloved human wife dying because of the disease and also due to a very difficult childbirth process. His baby also eventually came out as a stillborn.

  Kriztian then almost grew mad with grief and was completely wrecked, suffering hard in the aftermath of their deaths. He made a complete wreckage of their large home , destroying almost everything in the house , and firing all his staff. he isolated himself in the house, refused to come out for weeks on end, and only a few of his closest family members were permitted to enter to see him. he then even tried to starve himself whenever his family tried to send bags of blood for him to eat in hopes that he could wile away to death to join his late wife and child. It wasn;t till one day, one of his siblings found him in the early process of standing at the wide open sunny windows of his hallway with his daylight ring thrown away, trying to burn himself to death. Thankfully due to his age and strength of his powers he would take about 25-30 mins to eventually be fully incinerated and die , so his sibling was only about 10 mins into kriztian’s suicide  process and managed to save that stupid fool.

Enough was enough. His whole family grouped together on him with his closest friends and determinedly had an intervention with him. After days of endless ways to get thru to him, they finally made a breakthrough, knock some sense into him and made him see the light a little bit, thanks to (1 or 2 siblings and his best friend) he was then strongly told & encourages to   travel far away to help get over his grief and hopefully his late wife. He then did so and travelled far and wide around the world for about a 150 years or so. And slowly he did manage to overcome his grief and heal from the loss but he could never let go for his  love of his late wife so till this day his still holding back a small piece of her in his heart, thus blocking him frm ever wanting to pursue any romantic relationships at all till now. To him, she was his only one and true love for his whole lifetime (tho im hoping that his eventual new bride will eventually change all of that XD)

It was thru his travels that he accumulated more years of combative experience that further  helped shaped him to one of the strongest, extremely quick-thinking and highly skilled fighter vampires around. And like i said earlier, he never killed or seriously wounded any being for pleasure. He only fought or killed when it was absolutely necessary, in which most cases were situations where he had to defend himself or protect others, or save humans or even to help his few closest friends defend their home.

he also met another witch who used him to get her revenge on his family for some accidental wrong they did to a relative of hers in the past. She’s the one who caused the many fading scars on his body u can see now. Thus, it was due to his 2 very bad experiences with witches, which stemmed his current distrust and dislike for most of their kind.

He finally returned home about 100 plus years ago and came back wiser and less troubled. he then resumed his princely duties very seriously in honor of his late wife who he knew would have wanted him to live his life responsibly. And his current great attention to being elegantly and finely dressed as well as being super neat and organized is also of her influence somewhat when she was living XD

Thus his current personality now is of he’s very responsible, serious for most of the time, distant & aloof with many people except for a few trusted longtime friends and his family ofc (due to him having a few experiences of his trust being broken during his travels  and a lil disillusioned of there being many actually honest pure beings  left). He’s  a man of a few words half the time, and when he does converse, he tries to get quickly and clearly to the point most of the time unless ur talking about something he’s interested in or like in my starter he’s irritated abt the current situation and annoyed about his precious suit getting damaged XD. he’s also pretty stoic and doesn’t really like showing much expressions or feelings. The only times you can catch him giving warm, genuine smiles & have great convos with is when he’s with family members or very close friends or with his beloved citizens and when his around kids (as they’re his weakest & softest spot currently)

he can a be a teensy bit  selfish at certain/particular times and he will only help people in distress if they genuinely need help and can’t solve the problem at all or if they’re 100 not capable of saving themselves, he cares for humans as he sees them as being quite the weaker beings in comparison to the supernaturals so those are the ones he would instantly and readily save if they r in danger. Other supernaturals it depends on various few factos hehe XD However, he’s loyal, v protective over he people he cares about, quite good-hearted and has pretty smart and quite cultured brains. and as mentioned, earlier he’s somewhat well-mannered, very neat and organized. He also can be a bit grumpy and moody sometimes.

he was initially very reluctant and refused to go thru the arranged marriage plan. However, he eventually relented for the sake of peace and political alliance. He’s still not really looking forward to it tho tho he has finally readied himself to treat his fiancee with respect and be cordial towards her and try to get along with her cos he has no time for conflicts. Oh and also protect her from harm as he currently sees her as vulnerable being. he was actually relieved to find out that he was being matched with a human cos witches (big no-no), vampires and hybrids(they would live forever and he would be stuck in this “marriage” for his whole long lifetime) and werewolves ok but he found that female werewolves which he encountered in the past, tend to get possessive due to their carnal  wolf side and he had no intention of being with a werewolf wife when they were in heat XD. That’s cos he secretly has  NO INTENTION AT ALL OF BEDDING HIS WIFE PERIOD. he doesn’t want to risk the chance of getting her pregnant as he is still afraid of her potentially dying at a gruesome childbirth. So his plans for his marriage is for them to be if possible, distant, agreeable partners as he isn’t planning on opening his heart & falling in love ever again  or to get too attached by becoming vry caring and super best friends, they can be friends if she wishes but only to a certain degree. So he’s planning on keeping her at arm’s length till she dies of old age or unfortunate sickness.  (BUT OFC WICKED OLD ME, HAS LOTSA PLANS FOR HIS CHARA DEVELOPMENT, SO MOST OF HIS NEGATIVE VIEWS, TRAITS AND PLANS WILL HOPEFULLY CHANGE DOWN THE ROAD, hehe)

I APOLOGIZE IF ANY OF U HAD TO SUFFER READING THRU THIS LONG-ASS BIO AS I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND I TEND TO BE A LITTLE BIT FLOWERY, VERY DESCRIPTIVE, AND KINDA DETAILED & LONG-WINDED IN MY WRITING. KUDOS AND ALL MY ETERNAL LOVE TO ALL WHO READ THIS TILL THE END<3 < 3 ;D