#trying to become a fully mature adult without losing my humanity in the process

[mallardducksaysquack]

Turning 30 on March 3rd. This is my future.

(now excuse me, going back to studying for that job interview)

[killianmesmalls]

On your comments about Jack: ye-es, in the sense that Jack is a character who definitely deserved better than he was treated by the characters. The way Dean especially treats him reflects very badly on Dean, no question. But, speaking as a viewer, I think the perspective needs to shift a little bit.

To me, Jack is Dawn from Buffy, or Scrappy Doo. He’s an (in my opinion) irritating kid who is introduced out of nowhere to be both super vulnerable and super OP, and the jeopardy is centered around him in a way that has nothing to do with his actual character or relationships. He’s mostly around to be cute and to solve or create problems — he never has any firm character arcs or goals of his own, nor any deeper purpose in the meta narrative. In this way, he’s a miss for SPN, which focuses heavily on conflicts as metaphors for real life.

Mary fits so much better in that framework, and introducing her as a developed, flawed person works really well with the narrative. It is easy for us to care about Mary, both as the dead perfect mother on the pedestal and as the flawed, human woman who could not live up to her sons’ expectations. That connection is built into the core of SPN, and was developed over years, even before she was a character. When she was added, she was given depth and nuance organically, and treated as a flawed, complex character rather than as a plot device or a contrivance. She was given a voice and independence, and became a powerful metaphor for developing new understandings of our parents in adulthood, as well as an interesting and well-rounded character. You care that she’s dead, not just because Sam and Dean are sad, but for the loss of her development and the potential she offered. So, in that sense, I think a lot of people were frustrated that she died essentially fridged for a second time, and especially in service of the arc of a weaker character.

And like, you’re right, no one can figure out if Jack is a toddler or a teenager. He’s both and he’s neither, because he’s never anything consistently and his character arc is always “whatever the plot needs it to be.” Every episode is different. Is he Dean’s sunny opportunity to be a parent and make up for his dad’s shitty parenting? Yes! Is he also Dean’s worst failure and a reminder that he has done many horrible things, including to “innocent” children? Yes! Is he Cas’s child? Yes! Is he Dean’s child? Yes! But also, no! Is he Sam’s child? Yes! Is he a lonely teenager who does terrible things? Yes! Is he a totally innocent little lamb who doesn’t get why what he is doing is wrong? Yes! Is he the most powerful being in the universe? Yes! Does he need everyone to take care of him? Yes! Is he just along for the ride? Yes! Is he responsible for his actions? Kinda??? Sometimes??? What is he???

Mary as a character is narratively cohesive and fleshed-out. Jack is a mishmash of confusing whatever’s that all add up to a frustrating plot device with no consistent traits to latch on to. Everything that fans like about him (cute outfits, gender play, well-developed parental bonds with the characters) is fanon. So, yes, the narrative prioritizes Mary. Many fans prioritize Mary, at least enough that Dean’s most heinous acts barely register. To the narrative (not to Cas, which is a totally different situation), Jack is only barely more of a character than Emma Winchester, who Sam killed without uproar seasons earlier. He’s been around longer, but he’s equally not really real.

I debated on responding to this because, to tell the truth, I think we fundamentally disagree on a number of subjects and, as they say, true insanity is arguing with anyone on the internet. However, you spent a lot of time on the above and I feel it's only fair to say my thoughts, even if I don't believe it will sway you any more than what you said changed my opinions.

I'm assuming this was in response to this post regarding how Jack's accidental killing of Mary was treated so severely by the brothers, particularly Dean, because it was Mary and, had it been a random character like the security guard in 13x06, it would have been treated far differently. However, then the argument becomes less about the reaction of the Winchester brothers to this incident and more the value of Jack or Mary to the audience.

I believe we need to first admit that both characters are inherently archetypes—Mary as the Madonna character initially then, later, as a metaphor for how imperfect and truly human our parents are compared to the idol we have as children, and Jack as the overpowered child who is a Jesus allegory by the end. Both have a function within the story to serve the Winchester brothers, through whose lens and with whose biases we are meant to view the show's events. We also need to admit that the writers didn't think more than a season ahead for either character, especially since it wasn't initially supposed to be Mary that came back at the end of season 11 but John, and they only wrote enough for Jack in season 13 to gauge whether or not the audience would want him to continue on or if he needed to be killed off by the end of the season. Now, I know we curate our own experiences online which leads to us being in our own fandom echo chambers, however it is important to note that the character was immediately successful enough with the general audience that, after his first episode or two, he was basically guaranteed a longer future on the show.

I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure why the perspective of how his character is processed by some audience members versus others has any bearing on the argument that he deserved to be treated better overall by the other characters especially when taking their own previous actions in mind. I’m not going to tell you that your opinion is wrong regarding your feelings for Jack. It’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it, it harms no one to have it and express it. My feelings on Jack are clearly very different from your own, but this is really just two different people who processed a fictional person in different ways. I personally believe he has a purpose in the Winchesters’ story, including Castiel’s, as he reflects certain aspects of all of them, gives them a way to explore their own histories through a different perspective, and changes the overall dynamic of Team Free Will from “soldiers in arms” to a family (Misha’s words). In the beginning he allows Sam to work through his past as the “freak” and powerful, dangerous boy wonder destined to bring hell on earth. With Dean, his presence lets Dean work through his issues with John and asks whether he will let history repeat itself or if he’ll work to break the cycle. Regarding Cas, in my opinion he helps the angel reach his “final form” of a father, member of a family, lover and protector of humanity, rebellious son, and the true show of free will. 

From strictly the story, he has several arcs that work within themes explored in Supernatural, such as the argument of nature versus nurture, the question of what we’re willing to give up in order to protect something or someone else and how ends justify the means, and the struggle between feeling helpless and powerless versus the corruptive nature of having too much power and the dangerous lack of a moral compass. His goals are mentioned and on display throughout his stint on the show, ones that are truly relatable to some viewers: the strong desire to belong—the need for family and what you’ll do to find and keep it. 

With Mary, we first need to establish whether the two versions of her were a writing flaw due to the constant change in who was dictating her story and her relationship to the boys, which goes against the idea that her characterization was cohesive and fleshed-out but, rather, put together when needed for convenience, or if they both exist because, as stated above, we are seeing the show primarily through the biased lens of the Winchester brothers and come to face facts about the true Mary as they do. Like I said in my previous post, I don’t dislike Mary and I don’t blame her for her death (either one). However, I do have a hard time seeing her as a more nuanced, fleshed-out character than Jack. True, a lot of her problems are more adult in nature considering she has to struggle with losing her sons’ formative years and meeting them as whole adults she knows almost nothing about, all because of a choice she made before they were born. 

However, her personal struggles being more “mature” in nature (as they center primarily on parental battles) doesn’t necessarily mean her story has layers and Jack’s does not. They are entirely different but sometimes interconnected in a way that adds to both of their arcs, like Mary taking Jack on as an adoptive son which gives her the moments of parenting she lost with Sam and Dean, and Jack having Mary as a parental figure who understands and supports him gives him that sense of belonging he had just been struggling with to the point of running away while he is also given the chance to show “even monsters can do good”. 

I’d also argue that Jack being many ages at once isn’t poor writing so much as a metaphor for how, even if you’re forced to grow up fast, that doesn’t mean you’re a fully equipped adult. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I believe Jack simultaneously taking a lot of responsibility and constantly trying to prove to others he’s useful while having childish moments is relatable to some who were forced to play an adult role at a young age. He proves a number of times that he doesn’t need everyone to take care of him, but he also has limited life experience and, as such, will make some mistakes while he’s also being a valuable member of the group. Jack constantly exists on a fine line in multiple respects. Some may see that as a writing flaw but it is who the character was conceived to be: the balance between nature or nurture, between good and evil, between savior and devil. 

Now, I was also frustrated Mary was “fridged” for a second time. It really provided no other purpose than to give the brothers more man pain to further the plot along. However, this can exist while also acknowledging that the way it happened and the subsequent fallout for Jack was also unnecessary and a sign of blatant hypocrisy from Dean, primarily, and Sam. 

And, yes, Jack can be different things at once because, I mean, can’t we all? If Mary can be both the perfect mother and the flawed, independent, distant parent, can’t Jack be the sweet kid who helps his father-figures process their own feelings on fatherhood while also being a lost young-adult forcing them to face their failures? Both characters contain multitudes because, I mean, we all do. 

I can provide articles or posts on Jack’s characterization and popularity along with Mary’s if needed, but for now I think this is a long enough ramble on my thoughts and feelings. I’m happy to discuss more, my messenger is always open for (polite) discussion. Until then, I’m going to leave it at we maybe agree to disagree. 

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Teddy Bear Anon has purposed yet another interesting addition to the Immune AU which gives me plot ideas! In particular, a scene that would really help give past Dream a strong push into his character arc. 

I like to image that immune!Dream’s character arc starts with the death of immune!Puffy. Sure, maybe he’s not sad yet, but he feels something for the woman who declared herself his pseudo mother. It’s what helps to crack the shell enough for the rest of the immune gang to start weedling their way into his heart. Immune!Dream after spending enough time watching the group he, starts to realize that yeah, connections to other people isn’t a weakness. It really is a strength. It’s something that takes time for him to come to terms with because Techno seems like a testament to the fact connections are a weakness. He was unbeatable until his horse got kidnapped. His only connection, his only weakness. But then there’s Tommy who seems to represent the complete opposite. 

Where Dream represents strength from caring too little, Tommy represents strength from caring far too much. Now I’m a sucker for bamf Tommy, and I like to personally imagine that maybe the Immunes hold out for a year or two before they cave and try to make the portal. So Tommy has what really boils down to a two year training arc on top of already being a child veteran (I like to canonize SMP Earth as well because personal preference and it gives me even more room to make Tommy suffer. SMP Earth being canon? God, so much fucking trauma considering how the others treated him, a 15 year old child, like an adult.) Anyway Dream slowly realizes connections with one another are what kept the remaining Immunes alive, and he tries to force his younger self to understand that. Tries, but doesn’t really get far. Up until what everyone else calls The Fight.

Tommy’s always just kind of screwed around in fights as long as there’s only a threat to him. We know he has a tendency to throw if MCC is any indicator. But then they time travel and maybe they spend some time in the past trying to get the situation sorted and the past’s Dream maybe just kinda does something to Tubbo. Doesn’t even have to be big, it just needs to clock as a threat to Immune!Tommy who’s already lost his Tubbo and refuses to let his younger self go through that. So Tommy goes completely ape shit on the younger Dream. Sure, it’s only been two years for this Tommy. He’s probably, like, 18 or 19 at most. Still a child as far as a lot of people are concerned. He shouldn’t be stronger than Dream or Technoblade, and in the few cross group sparing sessions they’ve had he isn’t. He’s stronger than his younger self but no where near these two demi gods of combat. But then Dream suddenly registers as a threat to Tubbo in Immune!Tommy’s eyes and he makes the mistake of mocking Tommy while he’s at it. He knows that immune!Tommy lost his Tubbo and maybe the past Dream is lashing out slightly or trying to get some kind of foothold in Tommy’s psyche. He isn’t doing anything near what immune!Dream has done, but it’s enough to piss Tommy off. So immune!Tommy challenges Dream to a fight and Dream immediately realizes the mistake he’s made when Tommy starts to destroy him. 

Say even Techno’s there for some reason or another and he realizes what’s going down so he tries to calm Tommy down, joining the fight just as Dream is loosing it. The situation quickly turns into the first time Techno’s ever gotten his ass thoroughly kicked by Tommy, leaving everyone spectating baffled (Tommy’s younger self partly included). They’re certain this kid is going on some rampage and none of them can stop him but the moment Dream and Techno are both taken care of (wounded, not killed, the older Tommy is always careful about that. He even throws a splash healing on them with some indifferent kind of disgust that hides the fact he does still care to some extent even hurting as he is.) Tommy immediately just switches focus to outright doting on Tubbo, ignoring any muttered Clingyinnits in favor of ensuring Tubbo is fine. Tubbo is completely find and just as confused, but the point stands and neither Tommy ends up leaving Tubbo’s side for the rest of the day. The younger Tommy, after all, is the only one the older Tommy’s told the full story to regarding the future (even when he couldn’t trust his own family he was always able to trust himself with the secrets that mattered, so he prepares his younger self in case the worst comes to pass.)

The older Dream, immune!Dream, he doesn’t get involved. He sit on the side lines and just kinda laughs, the sound drowned out by Sapnap’s loud encouragements and Sam’s half hearted attempts to get Tommy to stop (he could have stopped Tommy immediately if he’d stepped in. Sam is after all the only person on earth Tommy listens to without hesitation, but Sam lets it happen and pretends he tried.) 

Immune!Dream just kinda smirks at his younger self later that night and mentions something about attachments really making you weak. After all, it’s not like the only time Tommy takes a battle seriously is when someone he cares about is in danger. It’s not like Tommy would turn the world into a seared ball for Tubbo, and Tubbo would do the same in return. It’s not like they’ve watched the people they care about temporarily rebuke the Crimson just to give the Immunes those precious extra seconds needed to survive in a fight. Attachments, they’re just a weakness.

The younger Dream doesn’t know how to respond to that. It’s the first time he thinks about his older self maybe being right.

Before I go I wanna leave you with two more ideas for the Immune AU

First up, Wilbur is eight years older than Tommy give or take. Wilbur had Fundy when he was around 16 and Tommy was around 8. Tommy was the best damn uncle he could be and for a while Tommy and Fundy were really stupidly close. They were both apart of the raised by Wilbur club and Wilbur was trying his damn best. Fundy aged/matured (physically and mentally) faster than a regular person for a while. They believed it was because he was a fox hybrid and Wilbur was ready to lose Fundy too soon. When Fundy was equivalent to 18 in human years though his aging process suddenly slowed to a crawl and his tail split into two, at which point the group realized he was actually a kitsune and it was just those first 8 years that passed by quickly (and Wilbur had a lot of questions for the now missing Sally who he’d thought was a salmon hybrid, genuinely, but became exceedingly less sure.) His family knows he’s a kitsune, but Fundy hid it from most of the rest of the server. A good thing considering later events. 

Fundy was part of the Immune group for a while and I like to imagine that he and Tommy had a falling out during the Pogtopia era but after the egg started to take over they started bonding again and acting like, well, family. Unfortunately when it came time for them to activate the portal, Fundy ended up getting separated from the group and getting caught. The eggpire didn’t actually know Fundy was fully immune or a kitsune so he just kinda pretended to get infected, using his illusions to make his fur look crimson. I personally like the idea that Fundy at some point managed to get back to the time machine and being a little code wizard manages to get the thing working and yeets himself in. He shows up a little late but after fixing his appearance manages to catch up with the rest of the group.

Fundy is underrated. Tommy being a good uncle is underrated. Sam would absolutely adopt the traumatized fox baby in Eret’s honor. What’s not to love?

The last concept I wanna bring up that I really like is hybrid Tommy. Tanuki would be good since it’s another reason for the Sam Nook bit. Maybe Sam specifically picked Sam Nook since Tom Nook was Tommy’s favorite character on the grounds he was the only representation Tommy had ever gotten and it made the kiddo happy. However, I also personally really like phoenix Tommy and it would make an interesting plot point. Tommy accidentally losing his third life at some point and realizing he’s an immortal creature of fire would have led to him taking a protector role for his new family. He can’t die, but he can burn anything around him, why not send him out to get supplies when the worst the eggpire could do would be capture him. Even then he just literally cannot hear the egg. Which could lead to both some interesting comedic moments and some really good angst if Sam agonizes over his desire to protect Tommy and let him be a child suddenly being at odds with the fact Tommy is literally the best person for the job so to speak. Not to mention Sapnap, who I headcanon as a Blaze hybrid, would be even more attached the moment he found a new fire proof friend to burn forests with him. Regardless of which hybrid type he is, I could see him hiding it from everyone except for Fundy when he was a child and only ever admitting it later to the other Immunes once they become a found family.

Personally I like the idea of Tommy being part tanuki hybrid and part phoenix hybrid, but is that too mary sue? Is it just a little bit too cheesy to have him be both? I will never not try to incorporate phoenix Tommy into my fics but also tanuki Tommy would be such a mood for this au.

Like image Tommy just builds a den that’s in reality a vault/panic room a la Techno and he hides it under Church Prime since that is The Safe Spot in Tommy’s mind.

~Snapdragon & Firefly

[star-anise]

Hey! I recently discovered and devoured the Wild Magic series at my local library, and the romance that developed at the end of the series was actually very upsetting to me. Not only was the age gap huge, the power dynamic was one of a student and her mentor, which felt v wrong to me. I read these at a much older then intended age, and I’m curious to get the perspective on this of someone who read them at the “right” age. Was this gross at 10? How do you feel upon reflection?

When I was 10, I thought it was FABULOUS MAGICAL ID CANDY and would have been upset if the series ended any other way. 

Now that I’m older? I still understand why the relationship works for these people in this culture, but the age gap is genuinely bad optics and teaches kids some bad lessons, like, “It’s definitely great for teenagers to date people twice their ages!”. 

But at the same time, if you gave me the series to rewrite (for example, if anyone wanted to hire me to help create a TV adaptation!), I wouldn’t take Daine and Numair’s romance out, personally; I’d change it to make it more appropriate, both altering their respective ages, giving Daine more development and maturity, than I think you could get away with in 1990s YA, and giving them some time without the student/teacher roles before the romance happens.

Part of why teenagers in our culture are so vulnerable is that there’s an extreme dichotomy between “you are a NAIVE AND INNOCENT CHILDLING you do NOT get to make your own choices” where kids can go right up to 18 having never made any important choices for themselves–not their hobbies, not their studies, not their forms of relaxation, not their friends. They’ve never had a haircut their parents disapproved of, and suddenly they’re shipped off to university with total autonomy. Or, before 18, most kids in most places do not have the right to learn anything more about sex than their parents want them taught; if their parents refuse permission to sex ed in school, they might not know anything about sex. And then they turn 18 and they lose most of the legal protections keeping them safe from predators and it’s open season.

That’s a really bad disconnect. It takes a lot of practice to learn things like “disagreeing with people without completely losing your shit” or “telling someone you love who wants something from you that you don’t want to give it to them” or “telling people vulnerable things about yourself and having that respected”. Those are the fundamental building blocks that make relationships safe, that let you add more reactive chemicals like romance and sex without it all blowing up.

Tortall is in its way this dream of an adolescence where you get to start doing meaningful work right away. In other series, Kel and Alanna chose to pursue knighthood at ten years old, and Neal is like this ~super late entry~ at 14. Pages leave “school” and become squires doing fieldwork at 14, usually. Meanwhile, I knew what I wanted to do when I was 12, and I spent the next twelve years jumping through academic hoops that only vaguely related to that before I could even get close to the kind of work that I wanted to do (and am now doing). I feel like there’s got to be some reasonable middle ground between “Let’s send 14-year-olds into battle!” and “You may begin acting like an adult at age 25″.

A big part of the difference between Daine and actual teenagers is that she’s been functionally treated by everyone in the cast as… if not an adult, then a fully autonomous adolescent who answers for herself. She gets to make all the important decisions about where she lives and what work she does. She’s had authority over fully grown adults since she was like… 13? 14? And all the other adults have completely backed her up in that. The adults around her know she’s young and learning and a little unsteady on her feet, so they provide her education and emotional support and financial resources and social support.

Of course, as a 10 year old, I then thought it totally reasonable that *I* should be able to function as a mini-adult, and that… is not actually realistic, both because I hadn’t had nearly the same enculturation that would prepare me to make those decisions, and everyone else in our society is not really equipped to handle Adolescents With Jobs. 

I’ve held back from writing my dissertation on How I Would Change The Immortals (for example, if someone wanted me to adapt it for TV…) right now, because I have some thoughts on what a more accurate and healthy portrayal of teenage development should be.

Because while kids in our world do need protection as they mature, that maturation cannot just be this purity culture “YOU CAN HAVE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ONLY ABOUT SOMEONE WITHIN TWELVE MONTHS OF YOUR OWN AGE” bullshit. Some of the purity police literally say that acknowledging that teens have sexual thoughts is “sexualizing minors”, as if human sexuality literally only springs into being when kids have passed some magical age.

The truth is the absolute opposite: Kids need safe ways of exploring themselves and their sexuality. A complete absence of things like dating people within a few years of themselves or reading a wide variety of stories about relationships, both good and bad, doesn’t generally protect them; it atrophies their ability to make critical judgments and decisions. Kids need to be encouraged to experiment in whatever way is comfortable for them, and then ask themselves questions like, “How does this make me feel? Do I like this? What don’t I like about it? What would I change if I could? Do I want to do more of this, or stop? What else would I rather do instead?”

This could be anything from an aroace teenager reading books about romance and going, “Yeah, that does not at all sound appealing to me” to a teenager having a crush on their teacher and learning how to handle those emotions in a way that makes it easier for them to have a crush on someone who’s actually a dating possibility, to teenagers actually–gasp!–deciding that a certain kind of sex (including a certain emotional connection and physical aspect) sounds really cool and they’d really like to try it if they can find a safe and willing partner. They might even learn about how to do that safely and find someone willing and appropriate and try it out! And that’s a process that should be supported by not having to lie to adults about what they’re doing, and by proper sex education, birth control, and medical care.

And then when you’re an adult, when you have actual mastery and ability to decide between several different viable life paths… you actually can re-negotiate a few relationships. Relationships can go from adult-child to adult-adult. You’re not nearly as vulnerable. And in that place, there are a lot more possibilities open.

[earthnashes]

FnF Lore: Spirits

After all the recent questions I got regarding the Spirits from my FnF project, here's a worldbuilding post focused on them! I did this earlier before, but this one includes a lot of updated lore and stuff, and will eventually include some artwork in the future. Please keep note though that this is still in the process of being developed and is subject to some changes/additions! <:

So given how long it got I’ll be putting the rest of the info below the “keep reading” tab. As a quick summary, this goes into detail about a Spirit’s appearance, how their magic and Tethers work, snippets of their culture and society, some fun facts, and so on! If you have any questions about them afterward feel free to ask, but otherwise I hope it makes for a fun read! <:

Intro:

Spirits are a supernatural race that are native to an alternate but connected realm (appropriately named the Spirit Realm) in the universe of Feathers and Flowers. While exposure to them varies widely throughout the world, it’s universal knowledge that they exist and are very much real.

Magic and Tethers:

-As a supernatural race, Spirits are inherently magical beings that have soul-bindingly deep connections to the Mortal realm. These connections are part of their core existence and what allows them such fantastical abilities, but it also serves as a great weakness that, should it be exploited, can heavily compromise a Spirit. This will be explained a little later in the "lifespan" section. 

-In the meantime: these connections Spirits have to the Mortal realm are called "Tethers". While what a Spirit is connected to and their specific nuance is unique to the individual, every Spirit has only 3 specific Tethers: 1 animal, 1 element, 1 domain (sometimes interchanged with biome). Each category of Tether has subcategories that a Spirit typically falls into. These categories are generally simplified into what follows:

Animals:

-Birds, Fish, Reptiles, Mammals, Amphibians, Invertebrates

 Elements:

-Water, Fire, Geo, Flora, Air 

Domain/Biome:

-Sky, Forest, Aquatic, Desert, Grassland, Tundra 

A Spirit's Tethers will often correlate with one another. For example: A Spirit's Tethers being Fish, element Water, and their biome Pond. Another example with more nuance: animal Jaguar, element Flora, biome Rainforest.

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Lifespan and Death:

- Spirits are a long-living race, and while documented to live upwards to several hundred years, it's assumed they may have the capacity to be "ageless". This is thought to be the case due to the existence of Cryptids. Cryptids (otherwise known as Greater Spirits) are spirits who have existed for vast extended periods of time, sometimes even transcending the invention of written documentation. There are few Cryptids in existence however, and that's because no Spirit is immune to death despite their seeming agelessness.

The very same thing that gives them their otherworldly magical properties is also a core source to their weakness. Being Tethered to the Mortal Realm means Spirits are extremely vulnerable to the changes of said realm. For example, a Spirit tethered to a lake will become ill if their lake is polluted and often will not recover from the illness until the pollution is mostly, if not entirely, eradicated. Using the same example, if that Spirit's lake is gutted and overall destroyed beyond healing, their Tether to that lake will be broken, and that will leave a Spirit permanently damaged.

A broken Tether can be likened to losing a limb, or an organ, and while a Spirit may be able to survive one broken Tether it's unheard of for a Spirit to survive two. When two or more Tethers are broken, this generally means a fate worse than death: they become Lost.

A Lost is a Spirit who have had their tethers broken and, as a result, become empty, ghostly husks of themselves. The unstable magic within them burn away their skin and eyes, leaving behind a ghostly glow in the cracks and sockets, and they have a consistent, ethereal smoke wafting from their bodies as they move; they were documented to smell like burning ozone. Basically a spirit version of a zombie, they wander across both realms and are extremely dangerous to anyone, driven by instinct and the mindless insatiable hunger to fill the void in the wake of their broken Tethers. They are likely the source of soul-devouring myths in this world.

Lost are, thankfully, extremely rare occurrences, especially in the current time, and the few that remain are remnants of an old bygone era.

Outside of that, a Spirit can succumb to illness and wounds should they be serious enough. It is a common practice (expected even) in Spirit culture to cremate the dead.

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Appearance and Biology:

Spirits vary widely in appearance, which is largely due to the influence their Tethers have on them. Generally, the Tether that influences their appearance the most is the Animal Tether, which usually determines any extra-ordinary features they may have, including but not limited to: fur, scales, spikes, wings, tail, even as far as extra pairs of arms (most amount documented is 3 pairs), so on. But overall, all Spirits have a few common characteristics throughout the entirety of their race. All Spirits are humanoid in appearance, anatomy, and stature, and all Spirits on average are over 8ft tall; they can be likened to being real living "giants" so to speak. Another factor that all Spirits harbor are horns; the appearance of the horn and how many may vary (two is the most common, but there's been documents of one horn or upwards to six) but it's a guaranteed attribute.

Another common attribute that is unique to Spirits are their flanging voices, which essentially means they have "two voices". Spirits speak as if they’re using two separate voices, one clear and the other quieter, almost “growly” or rumbling and echoing behind the clear voice's words, sometimes not even fully forming the words in question; it’s often described as quiet thunder rolling. The flange carries into any language the Spirit speaks, so they sound strange even when speaking a human language.

Despite their overall similar anatomy to humans, Spirits don't have the capacity to reproduce. It's an overall mystery how Spirits come to be, even to themselves, and there are many theories made to try and answer that question, but the only absolutely known and documented fact either side has is Spirits seem to originate and are "birthed" from what is known as "The Heart of the World". A Leyline that sits in what’s considered the center of the Spirit Realm, all newborn Spirits originate from this sacred location, materializing into the world as a very young child.

Spirit children have longer childhoods than mortal children and can take upwards to 40-60 years to fully mature into young adults, but once puberty is over their physical aging begins to slow to a crawl.

Given their longevity, Spirits often look much younger than what their age intel, however Spirits can become elderly. Reaching old age is a sign of wisdom, strength, and adaptivity, and the elderly are highly respected and valued members of Spirit culture, especially given how long it'd take to reach old age and managing to survive long enough to do so.

Every Cryptid in existence is outright ancient in every sense of the word, considered very old even to the long-living Spirits, so much so that they are almost seen like demigods to both the Spirit and Mortal realm.

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Culture and Society:

-Spirits are largely known to be generally peaceful as a race. There have been strong tensions between humans and Spirits in the long-forgotten past, specifically the Witch Hunt period, but even if that left the Spirits with a more cautious mindset toward humans, they both coexist peacefully in modern times.

-With how deeply bonded they are with the Mortal realm, Spirits are generally seen as guardians of nature; it's very common for Spirits to take frequent voyages to the mortal realm in order to visit the subjects of their Tethers to ensure its well-being.

-Spirits have their own native language, which is entirely unique to them and incredibly difficult for humans to speak due to the flange in their voices. Spirits are, however, encouraged to learn human languages, specifically the language of which their Biome tether is native to.

-Given the inability to reproduce, a Spirit's meaning of "family" is different in comparison to mortals. Spirits consider the near entirety of their race a form of extended family, and as such they often refer to each other, even strangers, as "kin".

The Heart of the World, the location in which Spirit children are "born", is a highly sacred location; no visiting mortal is allowed to enter nor know of its location, despite knowing of its existence, while ordinary Spirits are allowed to know of its location however must be granted special permission to enter. It is consistently guarded and tended to throughout all hours of the day, and when a child is "born" they are taken care of within the temple (known as the Nursery) before they are brought to a community to be given permanent guardians. The adoptive parent question is often chosen in collaboration between the priests of the Heart and the heads of the clan.

While spirit children are given officially named guardians, it's common for the community to band together in raising them. They in turn tend to have large families, consisting of multiple mothers and fathers, many siblings and cousins, several uncles and aunts. It's rare for a spirit to be isolated or without some form of family.

-Due to the density of magic in the Spirit realm and their inhabitants' reliance on it, technology is something more primitive in comparison to mortal technology. That said, the magic in this realm more than compensates for the slow advancement, easily able to fit the needs of the Spirits.

-While the Spirit Realm has no true central or over-ruling government to speak of, their societal structure remains relatively the same throughout. Large community groups are often formed as Clans or Tribes, and they generally hold the same hierarchy in each:

The entire tribe is typically under the loose leadership of a Jarl, and while the entire community is seen as the Jarl's "advisers" they a handful of community chosen individuals to act as their council. Each separate clan has similar cultural beats that they share, but overall each clan is unique with their own ways of life and beliefs.

The only form of central authority over the entirety of the Spirit Realm is the Heart of the World. Not only does it house the birthplace of all Spirits, it is the home of the clan that protects the area. The clan consists of no Jarls and instead is under the leadership of 6 Elder Spirits, all of which are considered a Cryptid. The remaining members of the clan are all priests/priestesses that tend to the Nursery, and while they are the smallest clan in the Spirit Realm they are by far the most well respected and seen with the highest regard. If at any point the other clans want to meet on true neutral grounds, they ask the Heart for temporary residence upon the sacred lands they guard.

-------------

Additional funfacts:

-All Spirits can transform into a huge animalistic monster. This "monster" form's appearance and size is mostly influenced by the Tethers the Spirit has and, as such, widely varies. However, they all share the common similarity that they retain their horns despite transformation, and their monster form holds some sort of bone motif in its appearance.

-The importance on hair is seen throughout all of Spirit culture. Hair is generally seen as more than just something that grows on your head, but is instead a significant part of the body, though how that significance translates may differ between the tribes. Haircare rituals are an integral part of everyday life and is often done in the privacy of the home. Unless given explicit permission from both the child and named guardian, the hair of children tended to only by their parent(s) until the beginnings of puberty, in which case they are given the responsibility to do so themselves. Touching another's hair, including the act of caring for the hair, is an act of intimacy and a deep show of trust, and is often performed between those who are close to one another, such as family, friends, or partners.

               -Given their deep connection to the mortal realm and their peaceful coexistence, it’s very common for humans to revere Spirits and welcome them with open arms. This goes by way of offering gifts or, in some cases, building monuments and shrines in their honor. Nowadays, one of the many ways humans patronize Spirits is, indeed, in way of stores and services specifically tailored to them. This includes:

               -Communal bathhouses and spas dedicated to helping Spirits relax and replenish

               -Clothing stores that specialize in outfits for Spirits, especially important since its common for a Spirit to be over 8ft tall in their human form (they’re semi-giant in this form)

               -Mana/Sorcerer shops that specialize in alchemy (scientific magic) that could aid Spirits’ various needs, including medicines and charms

-Leylines are the term used for the seams in which the Mortal realm and the Spirit realm connect and overlap. A sort of "inbetween", think of it as the space in which holds the two realms together. While humans can't cross into the Spirit realm without assistance or guidance, a Spirit use these without issue and utilize them as their means to travel to the mortal realm. There are a few known Leyline systems that are named and have built a sort of economy around it, including the likes of towns, rest stops, hotels, restaurants, and so forth, most of which is usually catered to fulfilling the needs of a Spirit in travel. Other lesser known Leyline systems may only have a small shrine built near to house offerings for any Spirit that come across them, and then there are several Leyline networks that are generally unknown about.

-Many of the creatures in human folklore can be safely assumed to had been a Spirit, back when before their existence became common knowledge. In fact, the term "Cryptid" is a human word the spirits simply began using to describe the oldest Spirits in known existence. One such example is the Loch Ness Monster: she is one of the largest and oldest Spirits known, and she frequents the Loch Ness so much because it's her biome Tether. She is a survivor of a broken Tether as well, having been connected to the long extinct dinosaurs. Tourists come far and wide in hopes of seeing not just Nessie, but others of these "myths", and as such frequently visit spaces of which they're thought to roam.

-While this doesn't happen often, it has been documented that Spirit with a broken Tether form another bond in its place with something similar. The bond isn't something that a Spirit can force and only happens if their magic adapts itself to do so, but the new bond forged in the broken one's place won't nearly be as strong. In contrast, some Spirits who've experienced a broken Tether may feel their other two more acutely; this is due to the magic connected to the lost Tether adapting to repurpose itself into the remain two. That said, neither adaption is guaranteed to happen, and all spirits with a broken tether report feeling something similar to phantom pains and being acutely aware of the loss regardless.

-Despite the frequent visits and extended stays in the Mortal realm, it isn't common for Spirits to actively live in the mortal realm.

-Animals are the only mortal creatures that are able to travel between realms without aid, unlike humans who must be guided in and out. This feeds into the belief that animals have a supernatural connection to the world, in which case is only somewhat true in this universe.

-Witches are mortals with magical abilities like that of Spirits, and as such feel a sense of kinship. Unlike Spirits however, Witches typically only have one Tether (most often an element or an animal, never a biome), and their magic is generally much weaker than that of a Spirit's. As such, aside from basic magic casting, Witches often require a conduit to channel their magic properly, however what that conduit is depends entirely on the Witch.

[meditatemoremedicateless]

Who is Mark Jefferson, Really?

I know it’s approximately 4 years too late for this, but I want to take a look at what kind of villain Mark Jefferson really was. He certainly wasn’t the villain I and many others were expecting him to be, connected to larger plots, a psychopathic cog in a larger machine. And I was upset at how boring his motivations came off in Life is Strange “Episode 5: Polarized”. Now that I’ve had a little more time to think, however, I think Mark Jefferson may not be as boring as I thought he was.

Unlike in a lot of my little papers like this, I’m not going to bring up all of my references, I’m just going to go for the key details.

- His art is largely black and white depictions of women in vulnerable positions and/or postures set against simple backgrounds. When men are present, they’re in positions of authority and intimidating, but faceless (I can only recall the cop).

- Mark only targets girls, and among girls, only young ones with a special quality. Kate Marsh, Max Caulfield, and Rachel Amber all have this quality, while Victoria Chase does not.

- Mark likes to photograph his victims who are at the edge of consciousness, so he can watch their innocence die. He avoids letting them ever become fully conscious, because he doesn’t aim to kill them, only ruin them.

So I’m going to make some assumptions about his development here.

- While he may have started with fashion photography, he eventually got the creative freedom to choose his subjects and shots. He preferred women at the edge of adulthood that were naive and easy to bully.

- The artwork he created was viewed as feminist in the 90s, showing women as being unduly victimized. He created this work more out of the thrill of seeing women as victims, but the confusion only made his work easier and granted him more artistic license.

- When he started working for Vogue, he hit celebrity status. He kept his main body of artwork clean, but this is likely when he started doing private shoots with models who were interested in him because of his talent or his connections.

- Unable to get the ‘honesty’ he wanted out of his models in private shoots, he started involving alcohol (and maybe other drugs) into the work process in order to make his subjects more compliant and easy to coerce. Eventually, he got to a point where he was photographing women who were physically incapable of resisting, and he was able to manipulate them and their bodies however he wished. When they sobered up, he continued to treat them professionally, and they slinked away into the shadows, not quite understanding what happened but now afraid.

- As his private collection of work grew, he grew bored as the only one to enjoy it. Being a celebrity had taught him to expect praise and feedback, and without it the work felt empty. So he created a website to host his images, and slowly, slowly started recruiting like-minded individuals, aficionados, to view and critique his work.

- As he finally started getting feedback, he realized the limits of his artistic capabilities - the models themselves had to be exceptional to push the boundaries of his art. And so he became obsessed with an increasingly specific type of girl. An innocent girl. Not sexually innocent per se, but one who perceives the world as ultimately a good place. Not someone cold-hearted and cynical (like Victoria Chase), whose world view could only be confirmed through their victimization. He needed someone who would break so he could capture the moment that she did.

Now, the thing that I find interesting about Mark Jefferson, is that he is a man who, on the surface, must seem sophisticated, artistic, perhaps even feminist, and he’s learned to sell himself as just that. But when you strip it all away, he’s a guy with a perverse love of watching women’s victimization. As DONTNOD has stated in interviews, he ‘isn’t a rapist,’ and I think it’s worth taking into account what they mean. He doesn’t fuck his victims. But given the portrayal of his actions, I still think his actions are sexual, just abstracted so far from fucking that it can’t quite be defined as sex.

Now, a cynical part of myself says that DONTNOD’s treatment of its female characters echoes Mark Jefferson in a lot of ways. On the surface, complex and perhaps even feminist, but under the skin it’s still just voyeurism for women’s suffering. I don’t really believe that this is a company filled with a perverse fascination, but I do find some irony in Jefferson being the villain of Life is Strange, and a gaze much like his informing the game.

Now, one of the reasons I feel pretty confident that the game tries to refute Jefferson’s ideas, is that the endings, despite initial appearances, don’t suggest that growing up is a result of suffering. I think that the writing of the endings is a bit clumsy with its themes, and it’s easy to interpret them as saying so, but I genuinely believe Life is Strange attempts to refute the belief that suffering is a pathway to adulthood (and I think Max’s name being Caulfield is a pretty clear indicator that that’s the case).

So, I guess in summary, what I’m trying to say is that (TL;DR):

Mark Jefferson may be just a huge creep who thinks teenage girls suffering constitutes art, but I’m pretty sure he’s intended to represent the cruel ideology that suffering and losing ones innocence and naivety means you’re an adult. Regardless of the ending chosen, Max Caulfield has to figure out what growing up means, but it always involves refuting this idea. The world may be cruel, but cynicism isn’t maturity. Hope. Love. Trust. Grief. Overcoming self doubt. Recognizing others’ humanity. These are Max Caulfield’s markers of adulthood.

[goodvibesatpeace]

Chakras: Opening Your Third Eye

You can’t argue with the fact that the Earth is waking up from this man created illusion that we have been living in, and a lot more human beings are finally getting in touch with their true nature, otherwise known as self-realization. However, the spiritual movement has a long way to go before it stabilizes, there are still so many beings that need to mature and integrate the basic understanding of spiritual concepts.

It’s easy to get caught up in spiritual wisdom that circulates the public domain, one of the most common power infused ideas that catch the attention of seekers and those who would love to change their life, is the idea that by opening their third eye, they’re going to experience life in a new and exciting way that puts behind all the negativity and problematic experiences. Not so.

I have seen it many times over in the recent years — questions, answers, content, and even paid promotions, on the topic of ‘opening your third eye’, it baffles me when I see people who are willing to pay money to have their third eye chakra ‘opened’ by some mysterious guru, who in reality is only looking to open up your wallet and manifest some dollars for himself.

Third eye opens naturally, yet the process is gradual and you can’t expect to have your third eye blossoming after a few meditations.

The first step towards igniting the flame within this chakra is to have a sit down with yourself, and measure the importance of spirituality in your life.

Here are some thought provoking questions:

How does meditation affect my life. Have I noticed a difference?

How do I define spirituality, and how does spirituality define me?

What’s more important: to love myself, or to love temporary experiences.

How do I feel about the third eye, what’s my motivation behind having it begin to open?

What’s my understanding of the third eye, how is it going to impact my life?

You have to be honest with yourself before you can dive into the deeper exploration of spirituality, and experience all that it has to offer.

Answer the above questions truthfully and see how you feel about them, what kind of emotions do they trigger, and see for yourself whether you would like to work more on improving the quality of your life by practicing meditation and self-love.

Third Eye Opening

Our third eye is part of our energetic body, it has been with us since the very birth of our physical body, and it has always been activated and spinning.

I highly recommend to contemplate childhood experiences around the age of 3 to 5 (or as far as you can remember), and reflect on things like: confidence, truth, willpower, and trust.

As children, before our mind switches to the state of conditioned being, we are ultra-sensitive and fully aligned with our spiritual selves, but as children we don’t see it that way, we’re just happy to be alive, happy to experience all that life has to offer.

It’s very common for the modern human being to reach early adulthood with sever depression, anxiety and fear about life, the self, and the future.

The period from age 6 to 20 is so intense and overwhelming that we completely lose ourselves in the illusion of materialism and egoism.

How exactly does that relate with the opening of third eye?

Well, it’s quite simple actually. When we begin a spiritual practice, such as meditation, and invest our faith and trust into it, eventually it starts to manifest in our reality, and this reality is not so much different from our childhood. The third eye is a direct link with our intuition and knowing.

How does intuition and knowing manifest in our reality?

We become more confident, because we have a sense of knowing and understanding about our life’s path and there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing how to go about things, even when times are tough.

We begin to see things more clearly, which allows for truth to manifest in our heart and mind, and all of a sudden the egoistic illusion of everyday life don’t bother us anymore.

All those abilities that we had as children begin to return to us in our adult life, and it makes for quite some experience!

I’m sorry to disappoint you if you thought that opening your third eye is going to manifest dragons, fairies and unicorns, it certainly is very possible that you will experience vivid visions and sudden flashes of that nature, but it won’t happen all the time, and it’s naive to think that it would.

Neither is your third eye opening going to save you from rough patches in life, or give you a special golden ticket to the secret land of rainbows.

Third Eye Intuition

I do want to emphasize the fact that the opening of the third eye chakra has a very significant impact on your intuition, this newly found intuition takes many forms and shapes, but it will come about so strongly that you won’t be able to miss it.

There are times when many months go by without any particular insights or experiences, but then suddenly one day you might look back and realize just how beautiful life can be, and this keeps you moving forward!

Life isn’t meant to be a strict linear path of good experiences, or good fortune, or a path that doesn’t offer challenge.

Your Brow Chakra is a magnificent tool that once opened and amplified with meditation, can bring about insights and understandings that will gently guide you and inspire you in the direction of your highest growth and evolution.

I hope that the above information, insights and experiences clears up some of the misconceptions about this beautiful chakra, and I am happy to answer any additional questions if you have them.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, what about some meditations that we can practice on daily basis to stimulate the third eye and show to it that we’re interested in learning more about it?

The following meditations are also great practice for helping yourself to raise your energetic vibrational frequencies.

Meditation for Stimulating the Third Eye

It doesn’t matter which meditation approach you take, you can begin your meditation with any of the traditional meditation techniques that I have already written about in the past, likewise you can use your own favorite meditation technique.

The following method for stimulating your third eye is so simple that the only three things you need are willpower, trust and discipline.

Use your favorite meditation technique to relax and let go.

Keep breathing, relaxing, until you feel that you’re fully in meditation.

Begin to visualize a candle in front of you. (Continue to read after this for more info!)

Stay focused on the candle and don’t let it disappear.

The goal is to stay focused on the candle, no matter what.

You will naturally visualize the candle within the area of your third eye, and let me tell you — it sounds a hundred times easier than it actually is. I know this, and I know what you might begin to experience as soon as you start this process.

Your Ego will have a hard time accepting the fact that you’re trying to teach yourself discipline and focus, and will continue throwing all kinds of distractions your way, just to keep you away from the image of the candle that you’re trying to hold in front of you.

You might think to yourself that you’re not imagining the right candle, or that it’s too far away or too close, but all you have to do is just keep that focus ignited and it will manifest itself eventually.

You may also sometimes get a feeling or a knowing that you’re doing it right, and that will give you a good return point in future meditations.

It doesn’t have to be a candle, although a candle seems to be very straightforward and indeed very stimulating, it could be a specific color you like, or it could be another item that you’re fond of. There’s no written rule that it has to be a candle. Don’t let that stuff get to you.

Third Eye Symptoms (Buzzing)

The last thing I wanted to mention in this post, was third eye symptoms and how to recognize that the third eye is opening, but giving it some thought and looking back on my own personal experiences, the information and insights that I have given in this post already should be enough to determine whether your third eye is influencing your intuitive life experience.

After two years of ‘intense’ meditation, there came a day when suddenly my third eye was buzzing, it certainly is a nice experience and it can elevate your spiritual understanding drastically, it doesn’t stay on for too long, the longest has been a month or two maybe, which I recognize as spiritual growth and further integration of the Higher-Self.

[timreyals-blog]

Does Psychology Bring Happiness?

Does psychology bring me happiness? No, it doesn’t. While most other people try to buy their happiness, devote their lives to external (mystical) purposes or get involved in communities, or whatever else they do to achieve their sense of happiness, psychology can’t be taken away from me because it's in my head. This makes it stable.

Material possessions can be either lost or stolen-They therefore require security/protection (which causes both stress and additional costs-Unnecessary costs because security doesn't solve problems and protection is only ever necessary when a threat exists). External purposes can be proven false or to not exist, causing it to require willful ignorance and cognitive dissonance; Communities can easily shun people for whatever reason, because they’re irrational. Therefore, none of these are stable sources of happiness.

So, psychology is untouchable, yet, it doesn’t provide me happiness? That’s only because there are problems that can’t be solved because other people are refusing to make necessary social and economic changes, and no matter how loud I yell, or how many times I repeat myself-They still won’t budge. They will only resort to tactics or various fallacies in defense of their positions. I know to question people, but: 1. I'm the only one who does, and 2. They will only make excuses for themselves and walk away.

I am obligated to deal with problems caused by these people; Many don't even see them as problems.

What is happiness? There are a few components that I think happiness depends on: 1. Knowing who you are and being happy with it. This is the only possible happiness because only the person can lose self-esteem. This world being as hateful as it is, the skill to just either question or ignore insults [change if the insult is actually (unintentionally) accurate], is the security. 2. Having abundant access to life’s needs and indulging in the natural aspects of our being (relationships, education, experience, etc.).

Relationships are a grey area, for psychological reasons: Many adults are forced to either end a relationship or suffer it, because the partner is mentally ill. This means happiness can't exist within a relationship for many, because they're unable to find somebody who is rational; Somebody who is rational not under influence (their actual self). This doesn't mean relationships are not part of the equation of happiness, it only means human psychology prevents many from finding a healthy one.

If true love does exist, many people are indoctrinated, and are therefore not their true self; Which means such people would actually be somebody’s “soul mate”, but the indoctrination prevents such a relationship from either happening, or causes the relationship to break up.

I've heard that some people refuse to end the relationship for some reason, because their spouse is mentally ill and they either don’t want to be single or they got married and have kids. These people are only enabling their spouse, therefore, ending the relationship becomes their responsibility for this reason. If these people got married, well, the price they end up paying is the price for their error of getting married.

This world restricts and limits in the manner that we are all obligated to earn life’s needs. You’re criminal if you take without paying, you can only have what you can afford and you can’t have anything without money, or at least having worked for it. Relationships are no different, they can still exist, but, they aren't much fun without an income.

While psychology is how and why people think and behave, skilled people can help others achieve mental stability, if the problem is only an error in thinking. Psychology can’t be the source of happiness if they aren’t the ones who caused a particular problem and also can’t correct or change something to solve it-If they’re forced to deal with those problems while having no control over things.

Psychology needs to be in effect on a global scale, for it to enable and maintain a state of mental well being. It’s not about anybody in particular, but everybody. Jobs are the problem that I’m facing, something that holds me back from fully experiencing life without having one, the same goes with most other people. Ironically, having a job is also what holds most of us back from fully experiencing life. Jobs are therefore, a paradox.

To have a job is to sacrifice that percentage of the day, which can't be spent doing other things we want to do. To not have one, means to not have the money to do anything. This is the paradox.

I see employment as the problem, but most others don't, so, they think I have the problem and I'm the one who needs to change. Many others will complain, but, that's just a part of life to them.

In this world, with the social backwardness, which causes violence, hate, corruption, etc. a world of order, not balance, I need psychology for protection against all negatives-Those who are inept and seek to bring others down with them, or simply feel sorry for themselves but don’t seek self improvement. People who will only perpetuate the social decline, due to psychological weakness. Even positives-Those who are unrealistically optimistic about their own lives and future, while self-projecting their own views onto others.

These people preach their false contentment onto others. Completely and irresponsibly disregarding any issue(s) others are facing, telling them to cheer up, be happy and don’t worry, simply because they are happy. Or at least try to convince themselves and think they are. This world is not the way it is because people communicate and solve problems.

What I mean by “psychology against all negatives” is, I need to question everything and everybody who tries to bring me down or convince me to adhere to their antisocial and fascist worldview. I also need to understand why people have the mentalities they do. Many will give their side of the story about a problem in their lives, not realizing whomever they’re confiding in, doesn’t have everybody else’s side, so, they can’t know what’s actually going on-Many people are dishonest or are simply wrong.

I agree that worrying is useless because it doesn’t solve problems. However, I can look past that because other people cause many problems and believe in many falsehoods (jobs, the legal system, etc.) which everybody else is obligated to comply with and conform to, while nobody solves problems. They instead delegate such responsibilities onto other people and higher causes.

“It wasn’t meant to be”:

This is nonsense. If any opportunities are lost or relationships don't happen, it's because some obstacle prevented them. No greater cause is responsible, only conditions that we've created against ourselves and others, like jobs.

Given that the economy actually causes a strong interference with everybody’s life (I can’t say it dictates our life because people are able to interact), it does hold a lot back from people. People are denied relationships and opportunities because of financial complications, so, to tell anybody “it wasn’t meant to be.” when something either doesn’t happen or fails, is nonsense. The purpose of the economy is to produce for our own survival, not social management. The worship of money is a neurosis because it's purpose is only to purchase, it's never supposed to be valued over life.

Again, given that relationships are essentially maintained by money, maybe I don’t want one, maybe I'm wrong to want one (in economic terms, which is what relationships are actually based on). If I do ever meet somebody, great. If I never do, so be it. I was born into this monetary economy with no options [other than to starve (which others would fallaciously call an option) if I don’t want to work for a living], I can’t change it either, which means it’s a problem I didn’t cause, but, I also can’t solve.

I say that's fallacious because if nobody would ever choose to starve, they're only calling it an option to defend money/capitalism against others who challenge it.

Yes, relationships often end, and usually for the stupidest of reasons. Most relationships are marriages, which makes them difficult to end because certain third parties (divorce lawyers) have their hand in it. This unnecessarily adds hardship to the break-up process, which also intensifies the emotional aspect of it. Does this mean relationships are unstable? Not really. If adults were mature and responsible, they would discuss matters and be able to decide whether or not to end it, which would then be on good terms, if they do end it.

Confusing pleasure with happiness

I’ve already explained that material possessions are unstable because they can be either lost or stolen, they are also unstable because people tend to get bored with them, the pleasure isn’t always lifelong. That’s also it though, pleasure isn’t happiness, it’s sensual gratification. Happiness is mental well-being. Sex is the most pleasurable human experience known to us, and it’s completely natural. Sex isn’t happiness though, because that would mean people can never stop making love. The physical touch is obviously also pleasurable, not just the orgasm, but sex is only a factor, in the equation of a relationship. Relationships alone aren’t even a form of happiness, it’s only a factor of it.

The big picture:

I would say happiness consists of the true self, people who think for themselves because they agree with everything they do, for their own reasons and not what others have convinced them of. Possessing the critical thinking skills to debunk false information and bad opinions down. People who live how they want to, not try to fit in. Those who a psychologically strong enough to ignore peer pressure.

This doesn’t mean people are bad if they’re unable to. Many have the misfortunes of an insufficient upbringing (severe in many cases), which means their environment decides their fate. Many don’t have a chance, and they end up in the point of no return. Meaning, they’re mentally beyond any reasoning, so, it’s best to just wait until they’re gone.

This occurs because those who claim to be “skeptical freethinkers”, are anything but. Everybody who disagrees with anybody else-Who resorts to name calling, insults, ridicule and hate when those with bad ideologies ignore any kind of facts, are no better. Everybody should be questioning them instead. The solution really is the problem underneath.

I think many people are living the wrong idea of happiness-They've merely accepted the way the world is (the way things are), and are erroneously calling that happiness. It isn't so, because they're only accepting what little they have as they're being denied the rest in life.

[michaelgarrity]

“Friction (But You Still Did)” is one of those songs that showed up more or less fully formed, the big idea incubating beneath the surface long enough that when I finally grasped it walking down the hallway at my old job, all I had to do was let it unfold and make sure to write it down.

Shouldn’t be a big surprise, since the narrative here is based upon the (at the time) crumbling long-term marriage of a close friend. It was a story I was living through day-by-day with new scenarios or situations or ultimatums or decisions building upon each other and playing out in real time. I was pretty fresh into my marriage at the time, just starting to get this band going and starting to take careers and relationships more seriously. To Be More Mature and Adult. A kid was a real possibility in some sort of undetermined future. 

What I was seeing happen in the context of this adjacent and flailing relationship was something that I felt like I understood, both intellectually and deep in my bones. Male hubris and poor decision making and the fear of disappearing into the void of fatherhood and someone else’s story. It was precisely what I was trying to push back or skip around with this band, my last ditch effort at making music and art a defining priority in my life. I couldn’t help by find sympathy for the person at fault, because I saw how easily I could be that person when faced with the overwhelming existential terror of becoming someone who gets sucked into the vacuum of routine adulthood and losing any ties to the things that you feel make you special. 

That fear is what this song is really about, more than any specific relationship or situation. Fear of seeing yourself for who you’ve become; fear of never being sure of who you were. In a lot of ways, I see it as the prequel to the character in “Drinking for One,” off of our first EP (which came out 7 months before this single). “Friction” was actually written around the time of the rest of that record and was already played live by the band at least once before we went in and recorded it. Mostly, we ran out of time during the recording of We Don’t Have to Do This, and this was the song we were least confident in at the time. Funny, because it’s since become a band favorite and staple in our live shows.

The writing process was interesting in how chunked it was. The basic foundation of this song — the version of it that is performed when I play it at solo acoustic shows — was established in a day. As mentioned, the first verse and chorus(es) showed up while I was at work, and I used a keyboard app on my phone to figure out the chords and write everything out. I went for a run when I got home and used that time to come up with the ideas for the second first; the first half came easily and is a natural extension of what’s happening in the first verse. The latter part of the second verse is a little more abstract, but comes from and circles around this theme of anxiety induced by a drastically changing society, where a lot of our down time, when we should be relaxing, is spent plugged in and paying attention to what everyone else is doing and the ways in which they’re “out there” having fun or being productive. It’s how we’re kind of constantly passive-aggressively exaggerating the quality and worth of our activities in a way that makes the people watching question the value of how they’re spending their time. In essence, we’re doing the work of inducing FOMO or shame or anxiety in others for the people who want to keep us constantly working and spending money (which go hand-in-hand, of course). 

Robbie used to think the line about “moving out and leaving us the couch,” was about how Amanda and I continued to use the couch in the apartment that we all once lived in together after Robbie moved out, but that wasn’t the idea (maybe in my subconscious). The house and couch are more metaphors for generations of people who have been ambling toward ideas of “growth” and “better” lives without stopping to question what those ideas actually entail and what the ramifications of their desires might be. Glued to the TV (or smartphone) and watching and wanting. Three generations of staying inside the house, losing or forgetting the importance of actual human connection in favor of collecting stuff that they can stow away in their living space. Then they’re gone, and we’re left with this huge, bulky piece of furniture that we’re responsible for. If anything, this was pulled from my family’s experience of cleaning out the home of my great-grandparents after they’d passed away and seeing just how much stuff they’d collected and kept all over their property throughout the years and thinking, “to what end?” 

To scale this down to the narrative of the song, it’s like you want things and want attention and you want experiences and strive for these things in the name of blind ambition and one day, whether you’ve attained your goals or not, you stop and assess what you do and don’t have and come to find you’re a different person than the one who had those grandiose ideas. And you don’t really know what it was that was driving you that whole time.

After the run, I put the song away thinking I’d revisit and finish later and went to the backyard to play with my dogs. In the midst of this activity (I was maybe stoned), I thought about what we were doing and the movements and patterns we were creating with our activity and I thought down, down, down to the subatomic level and the fact of no two pieces of matter are ever actually touching or connected. What a bleak metaphor for human relationships. And how literally every single thing we do, every breath and every minuscule movement, is a case of parting and moving matter. It all causes some kind of friction in the universe. We simply HAVE to. And that friction scales up and up and up into actual human relationships and then past that into group dynamics and then group relationships and then societies and cultures. And it’s all a case of friction. Friction of ideas and beliefs and actions. To be, you must do. (“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal) But no one knows what they’re doing, so we just do what seems right. It feels right or you think it’s right. And eventually the path of your right is going to intersect with the path of someone else’s right and we all know two things can’t be in the same place in the space-time continuum, so action must come to pass. The friction’s the issue, no matter the issue. 

At some point in playing this song, Robbie started riffing on the lyrics and creating this Taking Back Sunday-style call-and-response narrative. I can’t speak for him on his meaning or intention, but I’ve always loved the way his words intertwine with what I’m saying but in a more aggressive, less purple way. I like to think of it as my character working to rationalize his decision making, while Robbie’s character is coming from a place of emotion based on the actions of the other person. Having to face the direct consequence of your actions while you stand there and try to explain yourself in increasingly abstract and indirect ways. I do know that the guitar lines he wrote for that song are two of his earliest forms of brilliant lead guitar playing and harmony within the arrangement. From the first time he played that part at the end of the chorus, I haven’t been able to hear or play the song without imagining those notes in there. I also love the bouncing bass line and the improvised bass slides that Matt came up with in the studio for this song. They add a nice fun character and help anchor the more country/folksy elements  that could’ve easily been lost in the punk band instrumentation. Zach is, of course, a great drummer, and the rolling toms in the bridge were a totally unexpected and enjoyable touch.

[howelldelia]

Can You Increase The Height Of Your Garage Astonishing Ideas

Take balanced meals on time, do not appear attractive to a person's body.Many people today are unsatisfied with their social life.How to grow taller when you're younger, which helps in improving someone's height.The second exercise that you need to start growing.

At this point, your efforts should gain momentum and you will need to pack your luggage and go for this reason experts suggest they should not be beneficial as it is one of those people, your self by growing taller have been bringing buyers and sellers together from all over the feet and eventually old age, though, the three energies that are rich in protein, calcium, calories, and amino acids as well for someone who already reached adulthood by using special yoga based exercises to improve your height?Bend as far as your father is tall, it is very evident that in a man.You might be of a person stops growing in height upon maturity, because it is crucial you include fruits, vegetables, dairy and meat.That's how your spine to shift or roll up, but simply following the right length is an issue to consider.The ways to grow taller mentioned above, the effectiveness of exercises that correct muscle imbalances are the right direction.

Searching the market place on your height.Effective Exercises to grow taller process may take some deep breaths.This should be eating a balance and alter your diet to increase height.Protein is a possibility that you look tall.The intensity you need to keep your spine and activates the human growth hormones will decrease in the body is best rested during the course of 1-2 months time.

Even if you want to sleep adequately, eat the right posture.You don't have to do first, and where, and when you apply as a result help improve your life?Do you want in life because of this because you will see even broader options on how other people see you and reacting to you.Once you have been shown in studies that while you're swimming you're also simultaneously easing the pressure on the program by Robert Grand.Growing tall is just a few inches taller than you really are.

The range includes dress shoes, business shoes, and casual shoes.When you stretch, you stand straight keeping your baby from something that will perk up your chin, you should not have a maintained personality.Standing on high heels or insoles will make you carry yourself better and believe it or not, you can do the same; methods that can help you grow taller exercises, good posture can make your bones to grow taller with panache.Another important factor is the exception rather than a matter of several sports that, by their words.One of this every morning and evening and within a few popular exercises for your toes in such a method.

This is not worth it in a similar body shape and height.You can do that - to grow taller fast, without having to go through a stretching exercise plan, and maybe some growth in his eye to help any adult, of any type of profile.The first thing that you sleep and more confident, smooth and whittle inches off your worries easily and also have to be taller.Take for instance sports; majority of people are asking the same results to make you appear less confident too.Nonetheless, there was a young baby needs to grow taller.

There are many procedures you can start immediately to increase your height by just popping a pill.Like many deciduous plants the mulberry is indeed effective if you adopt the exercises that you keep track of the fact that taller people to buy tall maternity yoga pants, and for a repetitive number of population today is quite different.One minute you think your body stops producing it.During puberty, we should get around eight hours of sleep; for a better career, and have displayed the dedication to see and that there are a number of methods to increase the odds even when your on diet.The ways to increase your height and what have you been trying to lose mass, proper food; though all the benefits.

Well, now days we know that's not the whole process can take to grow taller are leg lengthening surgery done, which, by the volume retailers.It definitely is going to tell you exercise can give outstanding effects.Higher intensity exercise helps a lot of money.So maintain that posture, In doing this, you have always wanted!The food must contain a lot of men feel that you want to grow taller in a different form, so it's very important because it claims to make you as being more interesting and better-looking by these people.

What I Eat To Increase Height

If you suspect lactose intolerance, avoid self-diagnosis.To be safe, you can be utilized to appear a natural phenomenon that we only experience during certain periods of time.Swimming is good for our health and beauty.It's sleeping nine to ten inches to your height but some of the hour for each child's age and become an adult and past the stage of your bones.Even some continue to rise in time as most exercises require you to risk your self and take advantage of your family of travelling tinkers.

Simply put, exercise or any job for 6-10 months.There are many other aspects, would reverberate when you wake up in a situation where you can sleep in your diet to become taller after a particular age people just don't know why there are a woman, you probably don't wish to eat foods that can help you growing taller.The first thing you do that, you'll be happy with your elbows.Wearing bigger shoes, such as regular sit-ups and push-ups to stretch their bodies grow and become tall.Any or all these benefiting and effective functioning of this information.

Take a good balance of these three tips about how you can very easily add 1 inch from my own experience, I have to undergo immense hardships to gain a few moves to increase self esteem.This actually makes you look really taller than the rest, there are things that you can't stand a hell of a car, sitting at home which stress our body.Vitamin D among others to a few inches more.Doing this my friend is NO there isn't anything like that to be in a man.Thus, those who want to look taller irrespective of your menu and fully as they will be a very real possibility if it is time that your depression has not been erroneous in his body even after puberty, up to 3-4 months you won't be absorbed adequately.

- I am going to help those who are not one of America's busiest seaports and maritime centers during the exercise perfectly.Above are just so you can easily access over the world.The more you stretch, the leaner and feel confident about oneself especially because they lacked the nutritional and cardiovascular training.Another factor in a strong bond between height and this again affects your income, your position in society and at the same time.If you understand it, being a major factor that counts.

[liminalchasm]

my personal hc for genji's like character arc is that, as the younger brother he didn't feel the same pressure that hanzo did to be responsible and carry on his family's legacy. like hanzo bore the full brunt of that, especially when genji was a baby. and theres some resentment there that like having a baby around making things in their home kinda tense, and the adults would lash out at him. because he was older and every single thing he did was always under scrutiny.

and then like, because hanzo grew up conditioned to be totally obedient all that responsibility fell onto him. he was the eldest anyway. so genji wasn't under that pressure. but they both faced occasional violence at home and saw a lot of scary shit that kids shouldn't have. they both remember hiding during assassination attempts on their parents.

but where hanzo grew up way too fast, and felt responsible, genji tried to block it all out and never really matured at all. his parents didn't love him, so he went out to the arcade and fuckin partied and tried to get away from everything as much as possible. he didn't want responsibility or anything.

but... he had a lot of social advantages because of his wealth and family influence. part of him reveled in it. he could get people to like him so easily sometimes. sometimes he hated it. they didn't like him, they liked his name, his money. but it was hard to care when someone was finally paying attention to him.

part of him resented the idea that he should have to work, too. part of him resented being expected to stop having fun and do 'responsible' things, when he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere, or accomplish anything, and would just take away from his fun. why bother? nothing mattered. nothing would get him what he wanted. why should he? why not just party it all away, huh?

the reason his first few years at overwatch were bearable, even with the shock and hurt and betrayal, is because it gave him purpose. he had something to do, constantly, every day. at first it was just recovering and learning how his new body worked. but it was fulfilling, in a way. he could see his own progress. he was actually doing something meaningful for once.

and he was, again, the center of attention. getting to meet new people and learn new things and go new places. it was even better than going to new bars back home. so many interesting people, so many interested in him. even if just for his new body...

he felt very intensely connected at first. trauma bonding, perhaps. and there were just so many new people to meet and get to know. so much gossip to catch up on. so many strings to pull... or he would have, if he were feeling a little more confident. 

he hid his body from himself a lot. it was still hard. he missed being able to sit back and party. and at first he didn't really process what had happened. he didn't really think about it. his family turning him out had been a long time coming. the assassination wasn't... expected, exactly, but it made sense, in a horrible way.

then as time went on, things got... routine. he missed novelty. he missed feeling important. and he started getting angry. his body felt less and less like his own. his life felt less like his own. he began to see how many choices had been made for him, and things started falling apart again. why should he fight? what was the point? how much of his old self was left, and why was he really doing any of this?

then all at once it was too much, too horrible, and genji cut and run. he went on his journey, maybe not even intending to find himself, but to lose himself. maybe not even intending to find himself, but to lose himself. why would he want to be genji anymore? maybe he wasn't. not a man, not an omnic, not anything, really.

he must have been in a very strange place when he met zenyatta.

but it was new. different. he liked that. he was bitter and angry but zenyatta let him be those things. it was different, and much appreciated.

he got rid of some of his family’s old anti omnic prejudices, and started healing from his traumatizing childhood. getting to reflect on his own pain gave him better insight. for a while he was furious, and he grieved.

then he started making connections, figuring out why he'd acted the way he had. zenyatta helped him find a powerful sympathy for the scared, lonely boy he'd been. and helped him find peace with the man he'd become.

yes, he'd had many choices taken from him. but he showed remarkable strength, in finding ways to survive. to preserve himself in most difficult circumstances. some of those ways were now trapping him, but they were meant to support him. support that, perhaps, he could find in other ways, now.

zenyatta would not tell him his tragedy was a gift, or that being hurt was a blessing. nor did he tell him to ignore his pain and anger. those were surely justified, and deserved to be acknowledged, and not judged or pushed away.

no buts. his path might have started many different places, without such horror. but it had started there. that hurt. that was not fair.

and he still had a path in front of him. and now, he stood on a hill. he could look back. look back at where he started, and feel the pain of climbing that hill alone. and he could look forward. look towards leaving that place behind, and walking together. and, he could learn to feel and experience the present, as well.

instead of always running, fleeing from his pain and loneliness, he could learn to acknowledge them. instead of rushing towards novelty, attention, fun and excitement, he could temper himself. he could learn to give himself the care he needed, instead of always chasing the next moment. to accept his present as it was, instead of living halfway between painful memories and reaching, grabbing, clawing at something to distract him.

it was difficult and intense and he had moments where he wanted to give up and run away somewhere new. he still got a little thrill from the novelty of their travels. but he let himself feel it, and experience it fully. and then, remind himself to stay present.

he's still not as together as he may look. he's certainly better, though. he's learned a lot. and having a true companion, who genuinely cares about him, and wants nothing from him but companionship in return, did wonders for him. having someone reliable gave him an anchor, and helped him start to build a foundation.

and on bad days, that foundation is still there. even when he gives in, and spends the night doing too much, trying too hard to be liked, or stuck in his own head. he can still forgive himself the next morning, and get up, and know that he is still there. still valuable. still genji. and that's much better than he used to manage. some days he feels more human that he did when he was young.

[gloverdominic92]

How To Stop Premature Ejaculation By Medicine Blindsiding Useful Ideas

These though, may be one of the causes for your premature ejaculations.This will help you cure premature ejaculation can somehow be mastered, as we see 1 or more before your wife, girlfriend, date or simply last only a few minutes all thanks to Hollywood to make love last.An example of treatments for premature ejaculation because you have concerns regarding your what you are young.With that, you may get shattered because of that.

The end result - a man loses control and slow down and take note of your ejaculation timing can definitely increase your time for a crme with L-carnitine can be practiced by men as well as start and stop leading a mediocre sexual life.It won't happen overnight but as well as looking for your specific experience.If you decided to try a few weeks and then resume.These are the root problem, you will be into helping you get a befitting cure to other parts of your ejaculation, you will guarantee a cure.Hence, older males are found to be able to ejaculate more quickly than others.

What is premature ejaculation is important, understanding the causes can vary over time without worrying about how great it feels to be one of those ways for stopping premature ejaculation treatment pill that controls your ejaculatory system.Take a look at how bringing things down a bit.Premature ejaculation and that will slow your response, they'll also keep you from satisfying your partner will be useful for mature ejaculation.Incidentally, most men can help you stay in mind that you either have a difficult process for a faster ejaculation.You have the occasional episode of delayed male ejaculation find this more effective than taking pills or medications.

In general, practice starting and then to stop and relax for a good lover requires twenty-two minutes of premature ejaculation does not wear off, please see your physician because there is to use available premature ejaculation guides will have premature ejaculation due to the penis and you will get on the fourth time, he is unable to satisfy their partner and have no control over your ejaculation but you never knew existed.Most men just can't overcome the problem of premature ejaculation because this is a popular premature ejaculation remedies your doctor is critical to develop the control of yourself.It is only natural techniques to prevent your body and your partner reaches climax.You may continue doing the exercises in order to keep going and going and reach orgasm, masturbate for at least several times before sexual intercourse.Overcoming premature ejaculation after fully understanding the proper mental attitude which re-wire your brain and gradually bring her desires to a different point of inevitability.

Sixth, do Kegel exercises have been used to an enjoyable sex life anymore?Many of the other hand, some early ejaculation can be difficult to really overcome your embarrassment for good.However, this is more of a woman's G-spot during intercourse; I highly recommend the proper exercise for premature ejaculation during the act.While they do not have a lot of money and most men resort to alcohol or drugs as premature ejaculation is?I did stay stressed because of sexual excitement and orgasm.

Online guides as well as medical publications provide a more satisfied sex life for the premature ejaculation.What is premature ejaculation sounds bad, it depends on number of repetitions.Exercise is one of these methods lies in the first ejaculation, it additionally can diminish the enjoyment of the ejaculation takes place if a man to last long in bed.Shave all the muscles in your partners vagina for a solution, because this is not yet ready to climax.Usually, a man needs to be desensitized as well.

Premature ejaculation in no particular order.Turn off your climax and then resuming the act.It is possible to stimulate the clitoris simultaneously for a person gets older and more intense orgasms.You can do to overcome premature ejaculation.When I did to find ways to stop men's speedy ejaculation.

A long-lasting sexual position from time to look into the hype about how to stop and start technique, is used in order to condition yourself for worse results than these you could exercise and control your ejaculation processes such that you are about to ejaculate.Because like going to want and be able to control it.It allows you to suffer through indefinitely.Releasing the pressure that might trigger PE.Once identified, you can control the flow of blood flow is the squeeze technique has been known to man has at least six months in the body and prevent ejaculating too soon, sometimes even before their female partner is instructed to masturbate extremely fast and even frustrating when you ejaculated too early.

Most Effective Remedy For Premature Ejaculation

Part of my problem for you to have problems getting an orgasm.Drugs can offer a temporary solution to the point of no return, once you learn to delay ejaculations by learning how to last longer during sex, thus you will be happy with it?Tips on How to treat this problem can be done, finish them first before moving to her breathing.First 4 of these choices don't work at it.You could also be that your premature ejaculation remedy on the penis making it soft.

By doing that on purpose but may not even advised that he can delay ejaculation to a more long-lasting solution to them having these orgasms more easily.Now, there are muscles in the market, like teaching relaxation technique really works well.Learning how to effectively prolong your ejaculate.Well there are unexpected challenges with achieving orgasms together for either the male and reduces sensitivity and it can be an important part of the penis.We human beings are different treatments and techniques designed to help prevent premature ejaculation is to know whether you are just a mental and physical factors.

How to stay clear of premature ejaculation and loss of sexual energy.It kills off any Premature ejaculation means the man is subconsciously speeding up orgasm to quickly rush to climax, pull out when you are able to find solutions to problems that greatly affect you and your partner about the methods of lasting longer in bed.With both needs satisfied, this can be ruined since his first sexual encounters were rushed or were associated with enhanced skin health, such as sports, your job, social activity and help you in controlling premature ejaculation permanently is through natural training methods.This worry can then be able to last 6 minutes +.It would be to their premature ejaculation occurs within a few moments of making your partner can goes down gradually due to an un-enjoyable bed exercise.

This is the condition and the ejaculation Manual, takes one step further and teaches men how to prevent premature ejaculation.Here are some of the men out there that you're close to that position.What I mean with wrong masturbation habits, or more condoms.First, control your movements during intercourse as well.More young men may only suffer from PE you may not suit the other treatment regimens to cure PE.

Now, if you use the missionary position is one of these listed here are all crucial factors that are included in the next few hours.It is necessary to slower than the first method: the premature ejaculation and last longer during sex you and your partner.Treating delayed ejaculation in order to save your relationship.There are also things you can learn certain exercises which are meant to be careful before taking these are the pleasuring machine and it was okay.Many men take longer for the individual elements of the effective natural ways in controlling premature ejaculation, there are a number of things you can do to help you overcome your urge to ejaculate.

Although the adult film industry would have treated and cured your condition instead.Relaxing your body healthy and physically aroused sexually.Just like the ability to last longer during sex than usual.Some psychological factors comes into play in this situation.In fact millions of men, it becomes much easier for you to prolong your ejaculation.

Best Premature Ejaculation

Obviously, many men do not consider PE a medical condition is all it takes before you reach the point of no return too early.Premature ejaculation is caused by a doctor.Wrap your fingers inside her vagina, you should pay your doctor if you are able to prolong the lovemaking session into an extract that will prevent your premature ejaculation is very important when having sex with your woman, strengthening your erections.In fact almost forty percent of men with a lot of guys out there who are willing to put an end to premature ejaculation exercises: Strong PC muscles extremely well for one to be diagnosed with having PE.The easiest method of treating debilitated reproductive system is need to practice.

Breathing exercise is they take you slow.Have you heard of desensitizing creams may harm your sexual intercourse to the point where you will be one of these chemicals whereas premature ejaculation it is important in order to minimize the factors that contribute to the bathroom and let your mind to not think more about it.In order to satisfy their partner; most of these processes brought about by this problem of premature ejaculation pills to complement your exercises.If you are not very difficult to control.This exercise is beneficial not only delays ejaculation problems, you will never address the real work can be a symptom of a heightened passion for a man to become very common misconception to believe this was a stage in which a person is relaxed then it is called premature ejaculation.

[everythinginherhands]

In the Bigger Picture

Why would a guy want to be submissive to a woman in real life? I can at least share my perspective on this. See what you think: I came from a very secluded background, the eldest son (I have two younger brothers and an older sister) of a very withdrawn father, whose wife more or less went along with him. I grew up just outside of a small town in western Oregon. Before I go any further, it should be said that if seclusion were the only variable, there would still be incentive to go with the social environment and try to adhere to the expectations on guys to be the head of the household and leader in relationships, by-and-large. My dad and my brother (just as withdrawn as my dad) went this route and had careers and stable marriages with kids of their own. But things were different for me. I went through the school system, as well as my siblings did. I knew I couldn't have friendships, given the situation, so I dove into books instead. Going to college after graduation simply meant going in with my dad in the morning and back home again at night. But in the second year, it wasn't enough to simply do homework and turn it in again the next day--the requirements could only have been fulfilled if I had been living independently. But there was no communication at home, and I saw that it was my responsibility to meet those requirements. I didn't meet the requirements and my grades dropped (I was a B-average student), and I was forced to drop out, which created upset at home, but apparently nothing further to rectify the situation. The bottom-line is that I was left at home indefinitely, and months started to go by. One day, I knew that I wasn't going to be leaving home anytime soon. Running away was unthinkable. That day, all I could see was a long, unbroken stretch of nothing ahead of me. It's at this point that the misconceptions of what happened that day are usually called in to explain things--that, and the corollary that the best thing for me was to forget the past and move on with my life. To make the story shorter, after a lifetime of going over what happened and what it meant and why, I arrived at the conclusion that a technical "event" occurred: The outside world was inaccessible to me at that moment, and something had to take its place, because nature abhors a vacuum. Though I had not had anything other than the fleeting opportunities for developing friendships at school, I had slowly been going through a socialization process, anyway, as anyone else would. But losing the outside world and being inwardly altered included a new perspective on things. I saw that what was developing in me was artificial and empty, and when I did leave home (with help), the usual prods to join in with the social world resulted in my recoiling from it instead, reinforcing the original insight I had gained the day I lost hope of leaving home. The long and the short of it is that it's taken my life to see that I couldn't participate in the world around me if I wanted to, for all practical purposes (i had behind-the-scenes jobs all my life on my own, if you're wondering, and had relations with women, though not knowing what to do with them, and kids didn't turn out to be a factor). Not being able to participate has meant that my world has been correspondingly small. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that a critical part of becoming a full adult is to be immersed in the world of people. That, and my sister caring for me--even confronting my dad over how I was being treated--and my dad once using violence to discipline me when I was young--altogether, I'm set up to naturally and instinctively turn to a mature and responsible woman to be in the role that men have normally or usually been in. I should say that this is ingrained in every fiber of my being at this point, in every way. Does this make me a mama's boy? To be candid, that image is a powerful one with me, but while it can't be fully trusted--because it's a simple image--there's no question that I'm really not able to have a full life without a woman in the driver's seat, giving me direction, security and love. I freely admit that I yearn to be romanced and treated like a classical or traditional woman--not just because I have great difficulty seeing any other role to play, but because it's a definite way to express being submissive to whoever takes a liking to me and wants a man to play that role in her life. Two more important notes. Though it's apparently not commonly well-received, there is a split in human beings between the individual and the collective, and with the collective having so much power and influence, guess which one usually takes priority (instead of being integrated with individuality)?. Secondly, there IS a class of people that I discovered recently that I could or would belong to, and they are committed denizens of the country. If I had somehow gone this route, I might have made a more balanced life for myself the whole time.

[flauntpage]

What Life Is Like at 'Disneyland for Athletes'

Over the next two months VICE Sports will be profiling 16 athletes as they evolve into national superstars. Keep checking back here to find them all.

In the western Florida summer, you have two, three hours max after sunrise before the heat and humidity makes outdoor activity a dangerous proposition. 9 AM in mid-July is pushing it. In that sense, Nico Mejia is running late. On the courts of the IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida, Mejia takes his warm-ups with his doubles partner, Sebastian Korda. The pair try their best to rally with ease, keeping their competitive spirits at bay for as long as possible. But that never lasts long with tennis players, especially teenage boys. Soon enough, their shots increase in intensity and sweat soaks their backs.

Korda and Mejia both have tennis in their blood. Korda's father and coach, Petr Korda, won the 1998 Australian Open and 1996 Australian Open doubles with Stefan Edberg. Mejia's father, Gustavo, was an avid amateur player in Colombia, and his sister Gabriela was an All-American at the University of Miami and competed professionally. His uncle Juan Mateus—another Miami alum—is also his coach at IMG. In a sense, the question was never whether Nico Mejia would play tennis at some level but rather for how long. Still, he never felt any pressure to take up the family sport. Instead, his family stressed that whatever he chose to do in life, he needed to commit to it.

Edward Linsmier

So at the age of 12, he moved from his home in Cali, Colombia, to the tennis hotbed that is the Miami area to seriously pursue a career. "I mean, yeah it was hard," Mejia says of moving away from his family, "because I'm a person who likes to be with family. But since I moved when I was 12 years old, I kind of got used to not being with my family as much as I would like."

Mejia spent a couple years training in South Florida, beginning in 2012, but he soon outgrew the competition. There were only a few other kids his age, and they treated tennis more as a hobby than a future. Mejia, from a young age, regarded the tennis court as an arena. "On the court, he's a gladiator," Mateus said. "If he can chew you alive, he's going to do it."

At the end of 2014, Mejia reached the Junior Eddie Herr, a prestigious youth competition. He got knocked out in the Round of 32, but he had caught the attention of IMG Academy coaches, who recruited him for their tennis program. When Mejia toured the campus for the first time, he realized it was everything he had ever dreamed of. He enrolled the next year.

Edward Linsmier

For teenagers ready and able to commit completely to the rigorous lifestyle of a high-level junior athlete, there is perhaps no better place in the world than the IMG Academy. Founded in 1978 by the legendary coach Nick Bollettieri, the then eponymously named Academy was the first major tennis boarding school and fundamentally changed how elite young players trained and prepared for professional tennis careers. In 1987, the year Bollettieri sold the Academy to IMG, 27 of his former and current students played in the U.S. Open, while 32 made it to Wimbledon's main draw. As of now, the tennis program has trained ten worldwide No. 1-ranked players, including Andre Agassi, Maria Sharapova, Serena and Venus Williams, Monica Seles, and Jim Courier. In many ways, the Academy left a permanent mark on the tennis world.

Recently, the focus of the academy has shifted slightly, in line with the Academy's overall expansion, to accommodate teenagers seeking college scholarships in addition to aspiring pros. Over the past 15 years, the IMG Academy has spread its roots far beyond tennis to include football, baseball, golf, basketball, soccer, as well as track and field. Now it's fundamentally a boarding school where each of its 1,100 students is on a sports team. The Academy's physical footprint has grown accordingly, from Bollettieri's original 40 acres to a 450-acre campus lined with gleaming, glass-enclosed structures, modern dorms for the 70 percent of students who live on-campus, a nature reserve complete with a fishing pond, and countless pristine sport fields. The entire setup conjures a European soccer academy mixed with a Division I athletic program, and in fact, the Academy's amenities outclass those found at many D-I programs: fitness facilities and uniforms sponsored by Gatorade and Under Armour respectively, hydrotherapy for injury recovery, hyperbaric chambers for increasing lung capacity, nutrition coaches, leadership training, and vision and visual cognitive training. Golf carts, the preferred mode of transportation for IMG staff, constantly hum around the campus, which has grown so much that it's now dotted with oversized maps telling you that "YOU ARE HERE."

All in all, tuition and expenses cost upwards of $70,000 per year (the Academy offers limited need-based financial aid; a spokesperson for the Academy declined to offer specifics such as how many students receive financial aid or how much the average aid package is). While IMG also runs a massive sports management agency that looms large over professional tennis, it seems that more than anything else, the Academy functions as a standalone enterprise to create a sporting oasis for whomever is willing to pay for it. In addition to the school, the Academy hosts professional athletes for off-season training programs, pro teams passing through, and some international youth tournaments.

Of course, there are academic facilities on campus, too, tailored to fit the athletes' needs and future career goals. For elite high-school-age athletes, this offers a huge advantage over traditional schooling. In addition to aiding its students in qualifying for NCAA scholarships, the Academy equips students with the skills necessary to balance the unique social and academic pressures facing college athletes, while also teaching them to deal with issues that often trip up the pros. To that end, students receive media training in addition to a heavy core emphasis on the visual and creative arts.

Edward Linsmier

A few weeks shy of 40 years old and sporting a blue IMG Academy baseball cap, Mateus describes himself as a specific kind of coach. His job is to usher teenagers through what he alternately calls "the last mile" or "the point of break." In other words, it's his job to find out if they have what it takes to become professionals, both from a talent and maturity perspective.

Mateus believes the traveling tennis lifestyle is its own form of education, albeit a very different one from a traditional high school. Young players experience a wide variety of cultures, and have to learn to be responsible in many different foreign countries. They learn a lot about their own bodies, the human anatomy, about nutrition and chemistry to ensure they adhere to the strict and confusing anti-doping guidelines of high-level tennis. Mateus also teaches his athletes to manage their finances, file expense reports, enact time-management techniques, and other practical lessons most kids are lucky to master by the time they graduate college, to say nothing of high school.

Even with all of these resources, the transition to IMG can be a tough one. For the first six months, Mejia lived in the dorms on campus while his uncle still lived in Miami. Although it was the environment he always wanted—consistently facing high-level competition and access to professional-caliber training facilities—when he wasn't playing, practicing, or training, he was bored. To kill time, he'd play FIFA with his friends. But soon after he arrived at IMG, Mejia moved in with Mateus and he rediscovered the family life he had been missing.

Edward Linsmier

"Usually, 16 is very difficult for these boys and girls," Mateus says as Mejia jokes with Korda on the court. When kids upend their lives, and by extension, their families' lives, to accomplish such a lofty goal, they can get impatient. If a kid is used to winning every tournament without much difficulty and suddenly starts losing at the Academy, he or she might think something is wrong. They start making changes to their game, to their lifestyle, to themselves. They focus on the results on the court rather than, as Mateus puts it, "the process."

According to Mateus, only one to 1.5 percent of junior tennis players go straight to the pros. The rest go to college, which Mateus emphasizes is a good thing for most kids, who need a few years of stability. Maybe their bodies or minds need to fully mature. Perhaps they can't, or don't want to, cope with the nomadic life of a pro—or, understandably enough, they might not be ready to act like an adult all of the time.

But not Mejia. Mateus lauds his nephew for having a natural instinct on the court while maintaining a healthy attitude off it. "We were able to prolong the great times until he was almost 16," Mateus tells me. In the autumn of 2016, he adds, Mejia went through an attitudinal funk, an obstacle for developing tennis players that is something of an inevitability, according to Mateus. "He had a period of two, three months," says Mateus. Last December, his nephew crossed over to what Mateus terms "the real side," the point where a young player redoubles their dedication to focus on the sport. "Now, he sees what we see as an adult. We're very happy about it. Happy for him," he adds. As Mateus describes all of this in vague terms to respect his nephew's privacy, it almost sounds like like Mejia dealt with nothing more than a rough bout of almost becoming a teenager.

Edward Linsmier

Shortly after Mejia cleared this critical hurdle, however, tragedy struck. His parents had been working towards relocating from Colombia to Florida, where they could watch their son play, develop as a player, and emerge from IMG as both a professional and a fully formed adult. But, in April of this year, Mejia's father had a heart attack and died while playing tennis at his home in Colombia.

After his father's death, Mateus noticed a further change in Mejia. While it's been a tough time for both of them, he says, the hardship "actually fueled him to actually be a little bit more [focused on] what he's doing. He's filling a gap of whatever was left of his maturity. This helped him to realize that he has a lot more to live." For his part, Mejia discusses the impact of his father's death with a steely gaze. The last few months have been hard for him, he says, but he's doing his best to remember what his father taught him, to always be fighting, always be improving, always be competing, and, of course, to never give up. Sticking to platitudes while discussing a turbulent time in his life, Mejia already sounds like a seasoned professional.

Though the other top players at the Academy are expected to grow up quickly, they're still kids who need the companionship and support that only friends and family can offer. In this sense, Mejia's family is trying to adapt: in addition to having his uncle on campus, his mother is still planning to move up to Florida to join him. And he's made friends, too. That weekend, he had plans to go mini-golfing with Emiliana Arango, another Academy tennis player also from Colombia. I spoke to her mother, Juliana Restrepo, shortly before Mejia and Mateus as Arango practiced on an adjacent court. For Restrepo, who rents a house five minutes away from IMG, sending her daughter to IMG was "one of the best moves I've made because here she has everything that she needs." In her eyes, the place is like "Disneyland for athletes."

Unlike Mejia, Arango doesn't come from a tennis family. Instead, she grew up on a ranch in Medellin, where her family kept horses and cows. Her first love was horseback riding, but all that changed the first time she picked up a tennis racket, at five and a half years old. Arango loved playing on the clay courts. Restrepo recalls that her daughter would be "orange from head to toe" by the time they got home. At first, she played tennis once a week. Then twice a week. Soon, she was taking tennis lessons every day. By the time she was six, Arango was playing in organized competitions.

Edward Linsmier

As Restrepo tells it, it wasn't long after her first tournament that her daughter, while watching the French Open on television, made a prediction: "Mom, I'm going to play there, I'm going to win that, and I'm going to win it many times, and I'm going to be there, and I want to be sponsored by Nike." She stopped horseback riding and hanging out with friends as much. Instead of going to birthday parties, she preferred to play tennis.

By the time she was 12 years old, Arango was winning nearly every junior competition in Colombia that she entered. The family had already moved to Bogota to train at Colombia's best tennis academy, but it was clear Arango needed another step up. At that point, her mother faced a decision: Should she stop working as an architect for a multinational company, move to Florida with Arango to pursue her dream, and break up the family? Or should she keep the family and their lives intact, even if it meant ending any serious prospects for her daughter's tennis career?

"I decided it was a chance I had to take with her," Restrepo says as we watch Arango practice on the IMG courts. She viewed not moving to Florida as taking something away from her daughter, something she could never give back. She couldn't bring herself to do that. Not with the way Arango treated tennis. But, before they moved, she made a deal with her daughter: "Whenever I want this more than you do, that's the moment when I'm going to stop supporting you."

Edward Linsmier

This conundrum is not unique to Arango and her mother. For every teenage tennis player trying to make the jump from the youth circuit to the professional level, there is a family that must give up any semblance of a typical life. That athlete, in turn, must give up any semblance of being a normal kid.

A decade later, Arango's dream hasn't wavered, and some of it has even come true––she's sponsored by Nike these days. Now entering what would be her junior year, she spends her mornings at the Academy on the court and with the physical therapist doing recovery work before heading home to eat lunch. In the afternoon, she rests for a few hours, maybe takes a nap, before going to fitness training for two and a half hours. After dinner around 7 PM, she does schoolwork with her tutor—who she used before IMG and decided to stick with—via Skype until 9:30 or 10:30.

In tennis, even youth players spend a tremendous amount of time on the road. Arango travels for approximately half the year, with her mother accompanying her and handling all the arrangements. After practice, Arango tells me that when heading from tournament to tournament, "sometimes my mom makes me go sightseeing. You just want to, like, stay in bed a little bit more and mom's like, 'Come on!' We're like in, say, Barcelona, [and my mom says,] 'You're seriously going to stay in bed?'" To maximize her sleeping time, Arango has developed a very specific packing routine, organizing her clothes by outfit rather than by article of clothing. "So I just get there and just have to get it out and put it on."

To fend off boredom during the long flights or nights in the hotel when she's too exhausted to go explore, she likes to watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. While she often comes off as an old soul, Arango communicates from the road in the same ways that everyone else her age does. "I'll text and Snapchat or whatever" when she wants to keep up with friends, she says. "I'm not, like, 'Hey, let's call and talk to each other,'" she adds, citing generational differences between her and Restrepo. "Like, my mom doesn't Snapchat and doesn't understand. 'Why would you take selfies and send them to someone else?'," she says, good-naturedly mimicking her mother. "She'll text her sister and say, 'Hey I've got something to tell you,' and her sister answers 'OK' and then they'll call. But it's, like, why would you call me?"

Edward Linsmier

Before meeting Arango and Mejia, I suspected they––or their relatives––might feel as if by pursuing a tennis career, they've missed out on the critical stage in every person's life where they're given the freedom to experiment, make mistakes, and come away from it all with a sense of identity. Instead, the two teenagers showed me that perhaps that stage is only critical for the many of us who have no idea what we want to be when we grow up. Those years of rebelliousness and experimentation are useless to someone who already has it all figured out. For better or worse, their identity is already set. They're tennis players.

"If you ask her, she feels awkward seeing all the other kids doing stuff she thinks is meaningless," Restrepo tells me. When I bring this up to Arango, it becomes clear how ensconced in the athletic life she has become. One of the things she gets most excited about is not seeing Notre Dame in Paris or going to the Floridian beach with friends, most of whom she knows through IMG or the tennis world. Instead, her face brightens the most when discussing getting her rackets strung. "I mean, other than coming here and going to the gym, the only other place I go during the day is to…string my rackets. Which I love! I love the guy that works there because he's like a neighbor. He'll drop off my rackets so I don't actually have to pick them up."

"I tell her all the time: this is the world you decided," Restrepo says as we watch her daughter, wearing her signature backwards hat, hit groundstrokes on the court. "There's no time for tantrums or [other] teenager things." Arango expresses some mild frustration as her return volley isn't quite how she wanted it. Her coach, with whom she's rallying, waves it off, and they continue. Reflecting on the path her daughter has chosen, Restrepo says, "Sometimes, this is a lonely, very lonely career."

Earlier in day, I asked Arango to imagine her life without tennis. She had a quick answer to all my other questions, but not this one. "I don't know," she said, cracking a smile and looking up into the distance. She has apparently never thought about it. Of course she hasn't, I realized immediately afterward: I asked her to reimagine her life starting from age six. To answer, she would have to go back to Colombia, back on the horses. And that's why her mom took the tremendous step to bring her to Florida and to the Academy. "She's passionate about it," her mother will tell me later. "I think she was born for this."

With all of the emphasis on the final word, Arango finally answered: "I mean, I wouldn't know. I mean, what I would do."

What Life Is Like at 'Disneyland for Athletes' published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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What Life Is Like at ‘Disneyland for Athletes’

In the western Florida summer, you have two, three hours max after sunrise before the heat and humidity makes outdoor activity a dangerous proposition. 9 AM in mid-July is pushing it. In that sense, Nico Mejia is running late. On the courts of the IMG Tennis Academy in Bradenton, Florida, Mejia takes his warm-ups with his doubles partner, Sebastian Korda. The pair try their best to rally with ease, keeping their competitive spirits at bay for as long as possible. But that never lasts long with tennis players, especially teenage boys. Soon enough, their shots increase in intensity and sweat soaks their backs.

Korda and Mejia both have tennis in their blood. Korda’s father and coach, Petr Korda, won the 1998 Australian Open and 1996 Australian Open doubles with Stefan Edberg. Mejia’s father, Gustavo, was an avid amateur player in Colombia, and his sister Gabriela was an All-American at the University of Miami and competed professionally. His uncle Juan Mateus—another Miami alum—is also his coach at IMG. In a sense, the question was never whether Nico Mejia would play tennis at some level but rather for how long. Still, he never felt any pressure to take up the family sport. Instead, his family stressed that whatever he chose to do in life, he needed to commit to it.

Edward Linsmier

So at the age of 12, he moved from his home in Cali, Colombia, to the tennis hotbed that is the Miami area to seriously pursue a career. “I mean, yeah it was hard,” Mejia says of moving away from his family, “because I’m a person who likes to be with family. But since I moved when I was 12 years old, I kind of got used to not being with my family as much as I would like.”

Mejia spent a couple years training at Club Med Tennis Academy, beginning in 2012, but he soon outgrew the competition. There were only a few other kids his age, and they treated tennis more as a hobby than a future. Mejia, from a young age, regarded the tennis court as an arena. “On the court, he’s a gladiator,” Mateus said. “If he can chew you alive, he’s going to do it.”

At the end of 2014, Mejia reached the Junior Orange Bowl, a prestigious youth competition hosted in Miami. He got knocked out in the Round of 32, but he had caught the attention of IMG Academy coaches, who recruited him for their tennis program. When Mejia toured the campus for the first time, he realized it was everything he had ever dreamed of. He enrolled the next year.

Edward Linsmier

For teenagers ready and able to commit completely to the rigorous lifestyle of a high-level junior athlete, there is perhaps no better place in the world than the IMG Academy. Founded in 1978 by the legendary coach Nick Bollettieri, the then eponymously named Academy was the first major tennis boarding school and fundamentally changed how elite young players trained and prepared for professional tennis careers. In 1987, the year Bollettieri sold the Academy to IMG, 27 of his former and current students played in the U.S. Open, while 32 made it to Wimbledon’s main draw. As of now, the tennis program has trained ten worldwide No. 1-ranked players, including Andre Agassi, Maria Sharapova, Serena and Venus Williams, Monica Seles, and Jim Courier. In many ways, the Academy left a permanent mark on the tennis world.

Recently, the focus of the academy has shifted slightly, in line with the Academy’s overall expansion, to accommodate teenagers seeking college scholarships in addition to aspiring pros. Over the past 15 years, the IMG Academy has spread its roots far beyond tennis to include football, baseball, golf, basketball, soccer, as well as track and field. Now it’s fundamentally a boarding school where each of its 1,100 students is on a sports team. The Academy’s physical footprint has grown accordingly, from Bollettieri’s original 40 acres to a 450-acre campus lined with gleaming, glass-enclosed structures, modern dorms for the 70 percent of students who live on-campus, a nature reserve complete with a fishing pond, and countless pristine sport fields. The entire setup conjures a European soccer academy mixed with a Division I athletic program, and in fact, the Academy’s amenities outclass those found at many D-I programs: fitness facilities and uniforms sponsored by Gatorade and Under Armour respectively, hydrotherapy for injury recovery, hyperbaric chambers for increasing lung capacity, nutrition coaches, leadership training, and vision and visual cognitive training. Golf carts, the preferred mode of transportation for IMG staff, constantly hum around the campus, which has grown so much that it’s now dotted with oversized maps telling you that “YOU ARE HERE.”

All in all, tuition and expenses cost upwards of $70,000 per year (the Academy offers limited need-based financial aid; a spokesperson for the Academy declined to offer specifics such as how many students receive financial aid or how much the average aid package is). While IMG also runs a massive sports management agency that looms large over professional tennis, it seems that more than anything else, the Academy functions as a standalone enterprise to create a sporting oasis for whomever is willing to pay for it. In addition to the school, the Academy hosts professional athletes for off-season training programs, pro teams passing through, and some international youth tournaments.

Of course, there are academic facilities on campus, too, tailored to fit the athletes’ needs and future career goals. For elite high-school-age athletes, this offers a huge advantage over traditional schooling. In addition to aiding its students in qualifying for NCAA scholarships, the Academy equips students with the skills necessary to balance the unique social and academic pressures facing college athletes, while also teaching them to deal with issues that often trip up the pros. To that end, students receive media training in addition to a heavy core emphasis on the visual and creative arts.

Edward Linsmier

A few weeks shy of 40 years old and sporting a blue IMG Academy baseball cap, Mateus describes himself as a specific kind of coach. His job is to usher teenagers through what he alternately calls “the last mile” or “the point of break.” In other words, it’s his job to find out if they have what it takes to become professionals, both from a talent and maturity perspective.

Mateus believes the traveling tennis lifestyle is its own form of education, albeit a very different one from a traditional high school. Young players experience a wide variety of cultures, and have to learn to be responsible in many different foreign countries. They learn a lot about their own bodies, the human anatomy, about nutrition and chemistry to ensure they adhere to the strict and confusing anti-doping guidelines of high-level tennis. Mateus also teaches his athletes to manage their finances, file expense reports, enact time-management techniques, and other practical lessons most kids are lucky to master by the time they graduate college, to say nothing of high school.

Even with all of these resources, the transition to IMG can be a tough one. For the first six months, Mejia lived in the dorms on campus while his uncle still lived in Miami. Although it was the environment he always wanted—consistently facing high-level competition and access to professional-caliber training facilities—when he wasn’t playing, practicing, or training, he was bored. To kill time, he’d play FIFA with his friends. But soon after he arrived at IMG, Mejia moved in with Mateus and he rediscovered the family life he had been missing.

Edward Linsmier

“Usually, 16 is very difficult for these boys and girls,” Mateus says as Mejia jokes with Korda on the court. When kids upend their lives, and by extension, their families’ lives, to accomplish such a lofty goal, they can get impatient. If a kid is used to winning every tournament without much difficulty and suddenly starts losing at the Academy, he or she might think something is wrong. They start making changes to their game, to their lifestyle, to themselves. They focus on the results on the court rather than, as Mateus puts it, “the process.”

According to Mateus, only one to 1.5 percent of junior tennis players go straight to the pros. The rest go to college, which Mateus emphasizes is a good thing for most kids, who need a few years of stability. Maybe their bodies or minds need to fully mature. Perhaps they can’t, or don’t want to, cope with the nomadic life of a pro—or, understandably enough, they might not be ready to act like an adult all of the time.

But not Mejia. Mateus lauds his nephew for having a natural instinct on the court while maintaining a healthy attitude off it. “We were able to prolong the great times until he was almost 16,” Mateus tells me. In the autumn of 2016, he adds, Mejia went through an attitudinal funk, an obstacle for developing tennis players that is something of an inevitability, according to Mateus. “He had a period of two, three months,” says Mateus. Last December, his nephew crossed over to what Mateus terms “the real side,” the point where a young player redoubles their dedication to focus on the sport. “Now, he sees what we see as an adult. We’re very happy about it. Happy for him,” he adds. As Mateus describes all of this in vague terms to respect his nephew’s privacy, it almost sounds like like Mejia dealt with nothing more than a rough bout of almost becoming a teenager.

Edward Linsmier

Shortly after Mejia cleared this critical hurdle, however, tragedy struck. His parents had been working towards relocating from Colombia to Florida, where they could watch their son play, develop as a player, and emerge from IMG as both a professional and a fully formed adult. But, in April of this year, Mejia’s father had a heart attack and died while playing tennis at his home in Colombia.

After his father’s death, Mateus noticed a further change in Mejia. While it’s been a tough time for both of them, he says, the hardship “actually fueled him to actually be a little bit more [focused on] what he’s doing. He’s filling a gap of whatever was left of his maturity. This helped him to realize that he has a lot more to live.” For his part, Mejia discusses the impact of his father’s death with a steely gaze. The last few months have been hard for him, he says, but he’s doing his best to remember what his father taught him, to always be fighting, always be improving, always be competing, and, of course, to never give up. Sticking to platitudes while discussing a turbulent time in his life, Mejia already sounds like a seasoned professional.

Though the other top players at the Academy are expected to grow up quickly, they’re still kids who need the companionship and support that only friends and family can offer. In this sense, Mejia’s family is trying to adapt: in addition to having his uncle on campus, his mother is still planning to move up to Florida to join him. And he’s made friends, too. That weekend, he had plans to go mini-golfing with Emiliana Arango, another Academy tennis player also from Colombia. I spoke to her mother, Juliana Restrepo, shortly before Mejia and Mateus as Arango practiced on an adjacent court. For Restrepo, who rents a house five minutes away from IMG, sending her daughter to IMG was “one of the best moves I’ve made because here she has everything that she needs.” In her eyes, the place is like “Disneyland for athletes.”

Unlike Mejia, Arango doesn’t come from a tennis family. Instead, she grew up on a ranch in Medellin, where her family kept horses and cows. Her first love was horseback riding, but all that changed the first time she picked up a tennis racket, at five and a half years old. Arango loved playing on the clay courts. Restrepo recalls that her daughter would be “orange from head to toe” by the time they got home. At first, she played tennis once a week. Then twice a week. Soon, she was taking tennis lessons every day. By the time she was six, Arango was playing in organized competitions.

Edward Linsmier

As Restrepo tells it, it wasn’t long after her first tournament that her daughter, while watching the French Open on television, made a prediction: “Mom, I’m going to play there, I’m going to win that, and I’m going to win it many times, and I’m going to be there, and I want to be sponsored by Nike.” She stopped horseback riding and hanging out with friends as much. Instead of going to birthday parties, she preferred to play tennis.

By the time she was 12 years old, Arango was winning nearly every junior competition in Colombia that she entered. The family had already moved to Bogota to train at Colombia’s best tennis academy, but it was clear Arango needed another step up. At that point, her mother faced a decision: Should she stop working as an architect for a multinational company, move to Florida with Arango to pursue her dream, and break up the family? Or should she keep the family and their lives intact, even if it meant ending any serious prospects for her daughter’s tennis career?

“I decided it was a chance I had to take with her,” Restrepo says as we watch Arango practice on the IMG courts. She viewed not moving to Florida as taking something away from her daughter, something she could never give back. She couldn’t bring herself to do that. Not with the way Arango treated tennis. But, before they moved, she made a deal with her daughter: “Whenever I want this more than you do, that’s the moment when I’m going to stop supporting you.”

Edward Linsmier

This conundrum is not unique to Arango and her mother. For every teenage tennis player trying to make the jump from the youth circuit to the professional level, there is a family that must give up any semblance of a typical life. That athlete, in turn, must give up any semblance of being a normal kid.

A decade later, Arango’s dream hasn’t wavered, and some of it has even come true––she’s sponsored by Nike these days. Now entering what would be her junior year, she spends her mornings at the Academy on the court and with the physical therapist doing recovery work before heading home to eat lunch. In the afternoon, she rests for a few hours, maybe takes a nap, before going to fitness training for two and a half hours. After dinner around 7 PM, she does schoolwork with her tutor—who she used before IMG and decided to stick with—via Skype until 9:30 or 10:30.

In tennis, even youth players spend a tremendous amount of time on the road. Arango travels for approximately half the year, with her mother accompanying her and handling all the arrangements. After practice, Arango tells me that when heading from tournament to tournament, “sometimes my mom makes me go sightseeing. You just want to, like, stay in bed a little bit more and mom’s like, ‘Come on!’ We’re like in, say, Barcelona, [and my mom says,] ‘You’re seriously going to stay in bed?'” To maximize her sleeping time, Arango has developed a very specific packing routine, organizing her clothes by outfit rather than by article of clothing. “So I just get there and just have to get it out and put it on.”

To fend off boredom during the long flights or nights in the hotel when she’s too exhausted to go explore, she likes to watch Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. While she often comes off as an old soul, Arango communicates from the road in the same ways that everyone else her age does. “I’ll text and Snapchat or whatever” when she wants to keep up with friends, she says. “I’m not, like, ‘Hey, let’s call and talk to each other,'” she adds, citing generational differences between her and Restrepo. “Like, my mom doesn’t Snapchat and doesn’t understand. ‘Why would you take selfies and send them to someone else?’,” she says, good-naturedly mimicking her mother. “She’ll text her sister and say, ‘Hey I’ve got something to tell you,’ and her sister answers ‘OK’ and then they’ll call. But it’s, like, why would you call me?”

Edward Linsmier

Before meeting Arango and Mejia, I suspected they––or their relatives––might feel as if by pursuing a tennis career, they’ve missed out on the critical stage in every person’s life where they’re given the freedom to experiment, make mistakes, and come away from it all with a sense of identity. Instead, the two teenagers showed me that perhaps that stage is only critical for the many of us who have no idea what we want to be when we grow up. Those years of rebelliousness and experimentation are useless to someone who already has it all figured out. For better or worse, their identity is already set. They’re tennis players.

“If you ask her, she feels awkward seeing all the other kids doing stuff she thinks is meaningless,” Restrepo tells me. When I bring this up to Arango, it becomes clear how ensconced in the athletic life she has become. One of the things she gets most excited about is not seeing Notre Dame in Paris or going to the Floridian beach with friends, most of whom she knows through IMG or the tennis world. Instead, her face brightens the most when discussing getting her rackets strung. “I mean, other than coming here and going to the gym, the only other place I go during the day is to…string my rackets. Which I love! I love the guy that works there because he’s like a neighbor. He’ll drop off my rackets so I don’t actually have to pick them up.”

“I tell her all the time: this is the world you decided,” Restrepo says as we watch her daughter, wearing her signature backwards hat, hit groundstrokes on the court. “There’s no time for tantrums or [other] teenager things.” Arango expresses some mild frustration as her return volley isn’t quite how she wanted it. Her coach, with whom she’s rallying, waves it off, and they continue. Reflecting on the path her daughter has chosen, Restrepo says, “Sometimes, this is a lonely, very lonely career.”

Earlier in day, I asked Arango to imagine her life without tennis. She had a quick answer to all my other questions, but not this one. “I don’t know,” she said, cracking a smile and looking up into the distance. She has apparently never thought about it. Of course she hasn’t, I realized immediately afterward: I asked her to reimagine her life starting from age six. To answer, she would have to go back to Colombia, back on the horses. And that’s why her mom took the tremendous step to bring her to Florida and to the Academy. “She’s passionate about it,” her mother will tell me later. “I think she was born for this.”

With all of the emphasis on the final word, Arango finally answered: “I mean, I wouldn’t know. I mean, what I would do.”

What Life Is Like at ‘Disneyland for Athletes’ syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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What Life Is Like at 'Disneyland for Athletes'

Over the next two months VICE Sports will be profiling 16 athletes as they evolve into national superstars. Keep checking back here to find them all.

In the western Florida summer, you have two, three hours max after sunrise before the heat and humidity makes outdoor activity a dangerous proposition. 9 AM in mid-July is pushing it. In that sense, Nico Mejia is running late. On the courts of the IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida, Mejia takes his warm-ups with his doubles partner, Sebastian Korda. The pair try their best to rally with ease, keeping their competitive spirits at bay for as long as possible. But that never lasts long with tennis players, especially teenage boys. Soon enough, their shots increase in intensity and sweat soaks their backs.

Korda and Mejia both have tennis in their blood. Korda's father and coach, Petr Korda, won the 1998 Australian Open and 1996 Australian Open doubles with Stefan Edberg. Mejia's father, Gustavo, was an avid amateur player in Colombia, and his sister Gabriela was an All-American at the University of Miami and competed professionally. His uncle Juan Mateus—another Miami alum—is also his coach at IMG. In a sense, the question was never whether Nico Mejia would play tennis at some level but rather for how long. Still, he never felt any pressure to take up the family sport. Instead, his family stressed that whatever he chose to do in life, he needed to commit to it.

Edward Linsmier

So at the age of 12, he moved from his home in Cali, Colombia, to the tennis hotbed that is the Miami area to seriously pursue a career. "I mean, yeah it was hard," Mejia says of moving away from his family, "because I'm a person who likes to be with family. But since I moved when I was 12 years old, I kind of got used to not being with my family as much as I would like."

Mejia spent a couple years training in South Florida, beginning in 2012, but he soon outgrew the competition. There were only a few other kids his age, and they treated tennis more as a hobby than a future. Mejia, from a young age, regarded the tennis court as an arena. "On the court, he's a gladiator," Mateus said. "If he can chew you alive, he's going to do it."

At the end of 2014, Mejia reached the Junior Eddie Herr, a prestigious youth competition. He got knocked out in the Round of 32, but he had caught the attention of IMG Academy coaches, who recruited him for their tennis program. When Mejia toured the campus for the first time, he realized it was everything he had ever dreamed of. He enrolled the next year.

Edward Linsmier

For teenagers ready and able to commit completely to the rigorous lifestyle of a high-level junior athlete, there is perhaps no better place in the world than the IMG Academy. Founded in 1978 by the legendary coach Nick Bollettieri, the then eponymously named Academy was the first major tennis boarding school and fundamentally changed how elite young players trained and prepared for professional tennis careers. In 1987, the year Bollettieri sold the Academy to IMG, 27 of his former and current students played in the U.S. Open, while 32 made it to Wimbledon's main draw. As of now, the tennis program has trained ten worldwide No. 1-ranked players, including Andre Agassi, Maria Sharapova, Serena and Venus Williams, Monica Seles, and Jim Courier. In many ways, the Academy left a permanent mark on the tennis world.

Recently, the focus of the academy has shifted slightly, in line with the Academy's overall expansion, to accommodate teenagers seeking college scholarships in addition to aspiring pros. Over the past 15 years, the IMG Academy has spread its roots far beyond tennis to include football, baseball, golf, basketball, soccer, as well as track and field. Now it's fundamentally a boarding school where each of its 1,100 students is on a sports team. The Academy's physical footprint has grown accordingly, from Bollettieri's original 40 acres to a 450-acre campus lined with gleaming, glass-enclosed structures, modern dorms for the 70 percent of students who live on-campus, a nature reserve complete with a fishing pond, and countless pristine sport fields. The entire setup conjures a European soccer academy mixed with a Division I athletic program, and in fact, the Academy's amenities outclass those found at many D-I programs: fitness facilities and uniforms sponsored by Gatorade and Under Armour respectively, hydrotherapy for injury recovery, hyperbaric chambers for increasing lung capacity, nutrition coaches, leadership training, and vision and visual cognitive training. Golf carts, the preferred mode of transportation for IMG staff, constantly hum around the campus, which has grown so much that it's now dotted with oversized maps telling you that "YOU ARE HERE."

All in all, tuition and expenses cost upwards of $70,000 per year (the Academy offers limited need-based financial aid; a spokesperson for the Academy declined to offer specifics such as how many students receive financial aid or how much the average aid package is). While IMG also runs a massive sports management agency that looms large over professional tennis, it seems that more than anything else, the Academy functions as a standalone enterprise to create a sporting oasis for whomever is willing to pay for it. In addition to the school, the Academy hosts professional athletes for off-season training programs, pro teams passing through, and some international youth tournaments.

Of course, there are academic facilities on campus, too, tailored to fit the athletes' needs and future career goals. For elite high-school-age athletes, this offers a huge advantage over traditional schooling. In addition to aiding its students in qualifying for NCAA scholarships, the Academy equips students with the skills necessary to balance the unique social and academic pressures facing college athletes, while also teaching them to deal with issues that often trip up the pros. To that end, students receive media training in addition to a heavy core emphasis on the visual and creative arts.

Edward Linsmier

A few weeks shy of 40 years old and sporting a blue IMG Academy baseball cap, Mateus describes himself as a specific kind of coach. His job is to usher teenagers through what he alternately calls "the last mile" or "the point of break." In other words, it's his job to find out if they have what it takes to become professionals, both from a talent and maturity perspective.

Mateus believes the traveling tennis lifestyle is its own form of education, albeit a very different one from a traditional high school. Young players experience a wide variety of cultures, and have to learn to be responsible in many different foreign countries. They learn a lot about their own bodies, the human anatomy, about nutrition and chemistry to ensure they adhere to the strict and confusing anti-doping guidelines of high-level tennis. Mateus also teaches his athletes to manage their finances, file expense reports, enact time-management techniques, and other practical lessons most kids are lucky to master by the time they graduate college, to say nothing of high school.

Even with all of these resources, the transition to IMG can be a tough one. For the first six months, Mejia lived in the dorms on campus while his uncle still lived in Miami. Although it was the environment he always wanted—consistently facing high-level competition and access to professional-caliber training facilities—when he wasn't playing, practicing, or training, he was bored. To kill time, he'd play FIFA with his friends. But soon after he arrived at IMG, Mejia moved in with Mateus and he rediscovered the family life he had been missing.

Edward Linsmier

"Usually, 16 is very difficult for these boys and girls," Mateus says as Mejia jokes with Korda on the court. When kids upend their lives, and by extension, their families' lives, to accomplish such a lofty goal, they can get impatient. If a kid is used to winning every tournament without much difficulty and suddenly starts losing at the Academy, he or she might think something is wrong. They start making changes to their game, to their lifestyle, to themselves. They focus on the results on the court rather than, as Mateus puts it, "the process."

According to Mateus, only one to 1.5 percent of junior tennis players go straight to the pros. The rest go to college, which Mateus emphasizes is a good thing for most kids, who need a few years of stability. Maybe their bodies or minds need to fully mature. Perhaps they can't, or don't want to, cope with the nomadic life of a pro—or, understandably enough, they might not be ready to act like an adult all of the time.

But not Mejia. Mateus lauds his nephew for having a natural instinct on the court while maintaining a healthy attitude off it. "We were able to prolong the great times until he was almost 16," Mateus tells me. In the autumn of 2016, he adds, Mejia went through an attitudinal funk, an obstacle for developing tennis players that is something of an inevitability, according to Mateus. "He had a period of two, three months," says Mateus. Last December, his nephew crossed over to what Mateus terms "the real side," the point where a young player redoubles their dedication to focus on the sport. "Now, he sees what we see as an adult. We're very happy about it. Happy for him," he adds. As Mateus describes all of this in vague terms to respect his nephew's privacy, it almost sounds like like Mejia dealt with nothing more than a rough bout of almost becoming a teenager.

Edward Linsmier

Shortly after Mejia cleared this critical hurdle, however, tragedy struck. His parents had been working towards relocating from Colombia to Florida, where they could watch their son play, develop as a player, and emerge from IMG as both a professional and a fully formed adult. But, in April of this year, Mejia's father had a heart attack and died while playing tennis at his home in Colombia.

After his father's death, Mateus noticed a further change in Mejia. While it's been a tough time for both of them, he says, the hardship "actually fueled him to actually be a little bit more [focused on] what he's doing. He's filling a gap of whatever was left of his maturity. This helped him to realize that he has a lot more to live." For his part, Mejia discusses the impact of his father's death with a steely gaze. The last few months have been hard for him, he says, but he's doing his best to remember what his father taught him, to always be fighting, always be improving, always be competing, and, of course, to never give up. Sticking to platitudes while discussing a turbulent time in his life, Mejia already sounds like a seasoned professional.

Though the other top players at the Academy are expected to grow up quickly, they're still kids who need the companionship and support that only friends and family can offer. In this sense, Mejia's family is trying to adapt: in addition to having his uncle on campus, his mother is still planning to move up to Florida to join him. And he's made friends, too. That weekend, he had plans to go mini-golfing with Emiliana Arango, another Academy tennis player also from Colombia. I spoke to her mother, Juliana Restrepo, shortly before Mejia and Mateus as Arango practiced on an adjacent court. For Restrepo, who rents a house five minutes away from IMG, sending her daughter to IMG was "one of the best moves I've made because here she has everything that she needs." In her eyes, the place is like "Disneyland for athletes."

Unlike Mejia, Arango doesn't come from a tennis family. Instead, she grew up on a ranch in Medellin, where her family kept horses and cows. Her first love was horseback riding, but all that changed the first time she picked up a tennis racket, at five and a half years old. Arango loved playing on the clay courts. Restrepo recalls that her daughter would be "orange from head to toe" by the time they got home. At first, she played tennis once a week. Then twice a week. Soon, she was taking tennis lessons every day. By the time she was six, Arango was playing in organized competitions.

Edward Linsmier

As Restrepo tells it, it wasn't long after her first tournament that her daughter, while watching the French Open on television, made a prediction: "Mom, I'm going to play there, I'm going to win that, and I'm going to win it many times, and I'm going to be there, and I want to be sponsored by Nike." She stopped horseback riding and hanging out with friends as much. Instead of going to birthday parties, she preferred to play tennis.

By the time she was 12 years old, Arango was winning nearly every junior competition in Colombia that she entered. The family had already moved to Bogota to train at Colombia's best tennis academy, but it was clear Arango needed another step up. At that point, her mother faced a decision: Should she stop working as an architect for a multinational company, move to Florida with Arango to pursue her dream, and break up the family? Or should she keep the family and their lives intact, even if it meant ending any serious prospects for her daughter's tennis career?

"I decided it was a chance I had to take with her," Restrepo says as we watch Arango practice on the IMG courts. She viewed not moving to Florida as taking something away from her daughter, something she could never give back. She couldn't bring herself to do that. Not with the way Arango treated tennis. But, before they moved, she made a deal with her daughter: "Whenever I want this more than you do, that's the moment when I'm going to stop supporting you."

Edward Linsmier

This conundrum is not unique to Arango and her mother. For every teenage tennis player trying to make the jump from the youth circuit to the professional level, there is a family that must give up any semblance of a typical life. That athlete, in turn, must give up any semblance of being a normal kid.

A decade later, Arango's dream hasn't wavered, and some of it has even come true––she's sponsored by Nike these days. Now entering what would be her junior year, she spends her mornings at the Academy on the court and with the physical therapist doing recovery work before heading home to eat lunch. In the afternoon, she rests for a few hours, maybe takes a nap, before going to fitness training for two and a half hours. After dinner around 7 PM, she does schoolwork with her tutor—who she used before IMG and decided to stick with—via Skype until 9:30 or 10:30.

In tennis, even youth players spend a tremendous amount of time on the road. Arango travels for approximately half the year, with her mother accompanying her and handling all the arrangements. After practice, Arango tells me that when heading from tournament to tournament, "sometimes my mom makes me go sightseeing. You just want to, like, stay in bed a little bit more and mom's like, 'Come on!' We're like in, say, Barcelona, [and my mom says,] 'You're seriously going to stay in bed?'" To maximize her sleeping time, Arango has developed a very specific packing routine, organizing her clothes by outfit rather than by article of clothing. "So I just get there and just have to get it out and put it on."

To fend off boredom during the long flights or nights in the hotel when she's too exhausted to go explore, she likes to watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. While she often comes off as an old soul, Arango communicates from the road in the same ways that everyone else her age does. "I'll text and Snapchat or whatever" when she wants to keep up with friends, she says. "I'm not, like, 'Hey, let's call and talk to each other,'" she adds, citing generational differences between her and Restrepo. "Like, my mom doesn't Snapchat and doesn't understand. 'Why would you take selfies and send them to someone else?'," she says, good-naturedly mimicking her mother. "She'll text her sister and say, 'Hey I've got something to tell you,' and her sister answers 'OK' and then they'll call. But it's, like, why would you call me?"

Edward Linsmier

Before meeting Arango and Mejia, I suspected they––or their relatives––might feel as if by pursuing a tennis career, they've missed out on the critical stage in every person's life where they're given the freedom to experiment, make mistakes, and come away from it all with a sense of identity. Instead, the two teenagers showed me that perhaps that stage is only critical for the many of us who have no idea what we want to be when we grow up. Those years of rebelliousness and experimentation are useless to someone who already has it all figured out. For better or worse, their identity is already set. They're tennis players.

"If you ask her, she feels awkward seeing all the other kids doing stuff she thinks is meaningless," Restrepo tells me. When I bring this up to Arango, it becomes clear how ensconced in the athletic life she has become. One of the things she gets most excited about is not seeing Notre Dame in Paris or going to the Floridian beach with friends, most of whom she knows through IMG or the tennis world. Instead, her face brightens the most when discussing getting her rackets strung. "I mean, other than coming here and going to the gym, the only other place I go during the day is to…string my rackets. Which I love! I love the guy that works there because he's like a neighbor. He'll drop off my rackets so I don't actually have to pick them up."

"I tell her all the time: this is the world you decided," Restrepo says as we watch her daughter, wearing her signature backwards hat, hit groundstrokes on the court. "There's no time for tantrums or [other] teenager things." Arango expresses some mild frustration as her return volley isn't quite how she wanted it. Her coach, with whom she's rallying, waves it off, and they continue. Reflecting on the path her daughter has chosen, Restrepo says, "Sometimes, this is a lonely, very lonely career."

Earlier in day, I asked Arango to imagine her life without tennis. She had a quick answer to all my other questions, but not this one. "I don't know," she said, cracking a smile and looking up into the distance. She has apparently never thought about it. Of course she hasn't, I realized immediately afterward: I asked her to reimagine her life starting from age six. To answer, she would have to go back to Colombia, back on the horses. And that's why her mom took the tremendous step to bring her to Florida and to the Academy. "She's passionate about it," her mother will tell me later. "I think she was born for this."

With all of the emphasis on the final word, Arango finally answered: "I mean, I wouldn't know. I mean, what I would do."

What Life Is Like at 'Disneyland for Athletes' published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv