#trying my own sort of therapy

[wraithscrypt]

Time to clarify some personal values and use this data as a way to determine where I am not living in accordance to them. Self-exploration possibly turning into a reality check (also it'd be nice to understand myself better). Values Clarifaction: badassitude, accountability, adaptability, balance, brilliance, clever, comfort, contribution, curiousity, determination, exploration, expression, fairness, foresight, fortitude, freedom, gratitude, tenacity, humor, hygge, imagination, individuality, insight, intuition, knowledge, patience, queerness, reflection, self-compassion, self-reliance, sensitivity, sexuality, sincerity, solitude, storytelling, thoughtful, transparency, vision, and wonder.

[imekitty]

X

Ahahahaha, nice.

[faethfigueroth]

.

[martritzvonmercie]

trying to write content for shiho is so frustrating bc we only get 5 minutes of dialogue. and we get the vaguest updates possible on her after the incident but they don't even fit in a set part of the timeline bc they're in ann's confidant. canon really went "go girl! give us nothing"

[scattered-winter]

I really wish my mom would just fucking. respect the fact that I have no desire to be religious and that I don't know if I ever will be because it feels like she's subtly trying to convince me to come back and idk. I just kinda wish she'd respect the fact that I don't want to have anything to do with it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[i-am-a-fish]

Sex Ed Time

ok I'm gonna tell you about some things that might happen if you are transitioning m->f. this is not a comprehensive list just my own experience, be sure to do your own research I just really wanted to voice how this affects me because I think open discussion about this type of stuff is just more helpful for everyone rather than keeping it private

BOOBS HURT WHEN THEY GROW

your sex drive (libido) will probably go down a lot

facial hair is very hard to get rid of

my go-to gender affirming clothing is high-waisted jeans. I suggest going to a goodwill or some sort of cheap store that lets you try on clothes to figure out what you like

muscle mass will go down, fat will be redistributed

boobs do all sorts of crazy stuff when you run / exercise

overtime your skin will get softer, you also might smell nicer, and I've been told it can thin body hair but I don't really see it all that much 🤷

your brain chemistry can change when you reduce testosterone and increase estrogen, there are lots of factors that contribute toward any changes to your personality, but hormones can have an impact as well. for me this is a good thing because I struggle with allowing myself to feel emotions sometimes, no matter how hard I tried I was never really able to get myself to cry. I've gotten closer to being able to cry since I started transitioning though and that makes me very happy

this is a slow process that can take several years, ultimately you're going to be in your body for several years regardless, so if this is something you want it's definitely something you should try to pursue if possible. the time will pass anyways, and it does feel nice to work towards something that can make you happier.

also this is very important, you don't need to do any sort of hormone replacement therapy in order to be trans. not everybody can access HRT, and for those who can access it, not everybody wants to take on all the changes that come with treatments. you don't have to chemically or physically change your body in any way in order to deserve respect

all right that's all I have for right now feel free to add anything in the comments, I would especially like to hear from trans men what your experiences have been, I think openly talking about these types of things can really help some people

[celestialmancer]

-x-

[sir-snow]

I don't believe in therapy.

Let's just read Neitzsche and do kinky stuff together.

That'll be healthy, right?

[misfortunegirl]

anyone who is inlove with me 👉👈

[interstellarbookofflowers]

happy points for yesterday and today (more will be added)

I PASSED MY EXAM!! it was so long, bro was pretty much grilling me for nearly an hour and a half (idk time every time i estimate sth different but it was Long), BUT IM FREE

i met up with my friend from hs n we had a great time together! we went to the bookshop and i bought some adorable stickers

i already managed to make gf bread today which im very proud of! the flour is shit tho so its like eh meh (but it tastes ok!)

my plans for today are being unhinged and doing shit i enjoy for once! mostly i wanna journal and set up my new bujo and then watch something nice heheh

[clockwayswrites]

Birdritch part 2 Yeah, there's a subscription post now...

Danny pulled another sweet potato fry from his bag before refolding the top to keep it warm. He’d finish all the fries before he even got home, he knew that, but that was future him’s problem. Right then being able to munch on the sweet, salty goodness as he took a shortcut through the park was just what he needed. There was something about Robinson park that always settled him.

It was probably because of the park’s wild, otherworldly nature that came from Poison Ivy’s control. It almost felt ghostly in how unreal it was. It was another thing Danny tried not to think too hard on and just enjoyed. It wasn’t that Danny was ignoring the fact that he was half ghost (as he always tried to convince himself), he just wasn’t dwelling on it anymore. Ghosts had consumed his life for so long and he needed a break.

Even before his accident (it was easier to just call it an accident when people asked about his scars), his parent’s obsession controlled their house, family, and lives. He got now that it wasn’t normal to grow up not cooking because the food might eat you. Or because your parents were too busy in the basement lab to remember. His time away from Amity Park in college made Danny realize that Jazz and his childhood had been at best unsafe and at worst negligent.

It had taken Danny a lot of therapy to be able to say those words.

Being honest, Danny still needed a lot of therapy, but there was only so much progress he could make when he couldn’t really explain that he was half dead and had spent the end of his childhood fighting ghosts, the government, and his parents. He was half tempted to try and track down Harley Quinn and see if she was up to taking on a new patient. (Danny was pretty sure that she wouldn’t rat him out to the authorities.)

A vine thrashed suddenly in front of Danny, hitting the sidewalk with a meaty thump.

Danny froze.

Fuck.

His phone was out of power.

He couldn’t check if something was going on in the park.

While Poison Ivy was much more Pamela Isley than rogue these days, as seen by the city just letting her have control of much of the park, she was still temperamental and the right— or wrong— sort of thing could set her and her plants off. (Sometimes the plants went off on their own. Everyone knew not to be a sleaze bag in Robinson park.)

Slowly Danny started to back up.

Several more vines wretched themselves out of the ground around him.

He could hear shouting somewhere off to his left. Out of the corner of his eye he could see movement from the plants that direction.

Alright, not angry at him then.

Danny crept forward slowly, keeping his motions as calm and small as possible. Just because they plants weren’t angry at him it didn’t mean they weren’t a threat to him. His best chance was to stay on the path and head in the direction away from the noise.

And away from the over sized flowers.

Well fuckity fuck.

Most things Poison Ivy could do weren’t really a threat to Danny. He could phase away from vines, after all. But the flowers? The flowers had pollen and pollen was an unknown; one that Danny didn’t want to be known. Sam was rather certain that the pollens could effect Danny in odd and unknown ways due to his half ghost nature.

He had refused to let Sam experiment on him to figure it out. Comparing her fervor to his parent’s helped shut that idea down for good. Danny didn’t regret avoiding being a lab rat, even as he was staring down the ruby red flowers to his right. He still just had to keep his motions as calm and small as possible.

The flowers were only an issue if they let their pollen out.

Danny started to move in as wide of an arc as he could around the flowers.

While they were closed up he was safe.

Danny’s left hand spasmed.

The paper bag of food crinkled.

The flower petals unfurled.

Fuck.

---

AN: I know there are issues, another no read through late night post, but I'm getting my serotonin where I can. Stay delightful, darlings.

[thatbadadvice]

Dear Advisor,

I tend to be a very reserved and shy person so making friends is super hard. Recently I’ve been wanting to socialize more , but I genuinely don’t know how. Is there any advice that you have that can make me look more approachable and not be scared to talk to people. I’m so stressed about being alone and not having any friends, but I just find it so hard to go up to people and make a conversation. I tried once but it became super awkward. I just really need good advice from someone on how to approach a person and continue a conversation.

Dear Awkward Anonymous,

It would be so easy to get into a whole deep let's-skeetshoot-therapy-on-the-internet session and try to help a total stranger unpack all of the GA-FUCKING-ZILLION ways in which social awkwardness shows up in a person's life. It seems easy, and it even seems meaningful and worthwhile, but to do so I would have to presume a bunch about your life, and make a bunch of assumptions about the ways in which my own experiences maybe/probably track with yours, and it would be a whole big wank-fest, and frankly ... it would be awkward. I'd be like you, standing there at the party, hoping that what I'm saying resonates or lands or even vaguely tracks with anything a stranger has ever known or experienced, presuming (probably rightly!) that it doesn't, and then flailing and blaming myself when I didn't emerge from the interaction with all the world's gold stars.

So here's what: stop talking to other people as a primary social occupation. Going up to people and just talking is fucking terrifying. The Bad Advisor says this as a Certified Extrovert™ who rarely shuts the fuck up.

Instead, find a thing to do with other people that involves some sort of task or goal or activity. Talk about the thing you're doing together, when you're doing it. If it feels okay, maybe introduce one or two of your own relatable-to-the-activity experiences in the process. See who picks up on it. Ask the people who pick up on it genuinely interested questions in response. This is what we awkward people call: engineering a conversation. It is the way, I am told, humans make connections with other humans. I have seen it work in my own life.

Depending on where you live and your ability level and skill set, I bet you have some options! You could seek out an open board game night, pub quiz session, knitting/quilting circle, or mutual aid meetup that's looking for volunteers. Especially look for social activities with strangers that involve a dedicated, pre-prescribed activity (such as a hiking or mall-walking group, stuffing envelopes for a political candidate or cause you care about, planting trees at your local park, or tasting tea/wine/beer/etc.). (Somebody is going to say join a ballroom dancing club or suchlike; I am personally terrified of this, but if you have a higher tolerance for strangers touching you and fewer than two left feet: it's literally an option. Line-dancing, on the other hand ... absofuckinglutely.)

Even if what's available in your area isn't your precise and specific interest, it might be worthwhile to check out something you are decidedly meh about -- you might not be the only meh person there. You can bond over shit that's boring or shitty with other people who find it boring or shitty! Some of my best friends, arguably my very best friends, came out of experiences we mutually loathed or found at least moderately and mutually miserable.

Consider especially finding an activity where you yourself are the manager of operations and/or have a designated task to take care of that is unique to your position! This doesn't have to be complicated or skill-dependent; can you become a voter registrar in your area? Well, bam! You've got paperwork people have to fill out and a good reason to jibber-jabber with folks who have to ask you the questions. Other ideas: join your local neighborhood association board, become a notary public, or see if your local pet rescue is looking for intake line volunteers. Do you have a trustworthy, especially outgoing friend who might agree to play "social glue" for you a couple of times at their activity-centric events? Make it explicit! Ask them if they'll play friendly wing-person for you at their D&D game, fantasy sports league, or some such.

Alternately: Do you have a unique and fun and shareable skillset you can share with others? Are you pretty good at drawing, programming? Simply a font of endless Merlin or NFL or Real Housewives knowledge? You might start a local Discord or other online social group to discuss and share your interests, then move it to the real world in a few weeks once folks get comfortable. You get the idea.

Most of all: Look for stuff that has more-than-just-talking opportunities available outside the designated group jam for you to maintain connections. Perhaps a group chat, a Discord, a Slack, what-have-you, where you can take more time to consider and draft your responses and posts? Connections with humans get made a thousand ways, and talking raw-dog with strangers is but one.

It takes a true social unicorn to be simply good at talking and only talking to other people. There are some of these one-horned wonders out there, to be sure — but let me assure you that the vast majority of folks want to be accepted and seen just as much as you do, and they're staring at the ceiling at night thinking just as much (more, probably) about all the weird, wonky shit they themselves threw at you than they are anything you ever said to them.

[azulock]

hey, how you doing? Could you make a bllk guys who have a breeding kink? I bet Isagi would have one 👀👀👀

Fallen by my own sword on those Isagi headcanons, huh? But yes, that freak would very much have a breeding kink, damn Isagi. Looking at my breeding kink guys list now, it's pretty much "men who need therapy" (on a bigger or smaller level)

bllk guys who have a breeding kink

isagi yoichi

This fucking freak - he loves it, loves it a little too much actually. I hope you like it too and that you actually want children, cause if you don't, well, Isagi sure wants them. He loves creampies just by themselves, really wants to cum inside only, but if you can have kids, that's double. The panty stealing fuck will claim he can tell your fertile days by smelling your underwear. This weirdo probably just been keeping track of your cycle in secret through more mundane means. So on your fertile days he will be doubling down on his efforts to keep you filled up with his cum.

For Isagi the kink is a mix of possessiveness and the wish to have a big family - to prove how perfect you are to each other. He had a good family, he will be a good dad, right? If you are in a relationship, this is only the natural outcome. He also won't shut up during sex, muttering all the time about how he is gonna make you look so good and swollen up with his babies. Will be trying to fuck you at any time during your fertile days, constantly saying it's time for a good breeding session, that you need to stay filled up to become his good pretty momma.

itoshi rin

Obsessed with family - for better or for worse. Wants to make you into his family, and just getting married ain't gonna cut it. The only way he can do it is by making you carry a part of him within yourself, and doing it once isn't gonna cut it. If his relationship with his brother didn't work out, then he is gonna have his own kids and they won't have this problem. He needs to prove he is better, that he will have a better family, more kids, better kids. Even this is a competition, and he is going to win.

He generally fucks like a desperate animal, and the day you let him do it raw, it's gonna be just a matter of time until he shows his breeding kink. It's strong, violent, animalistic, he needs to cum inside you like he needs air. If you have that kink too, then he is done for and he'll just give in. There won't be much talking during the sex, just grunting and growling as he fills you up again and again. Not the type to be keeping track of shit, he'll just be taking his pleasure and filling you up with his cum at any chance until either nature does it's thing or your period shows up.

alexis ness

Breeding as a form of devotion - or possession to be more honest. His yandere tendencies really show through here, he wants to breed you to feel that you are forever connected to him. Just painting your insides white isn't enough to mark you as his, he needs more, he nerds to make you have his children so you'll always a part of him attached to you. There is no bigger intimacy in his mind than carrying someone's child. Really, just the thought of you pregnant with his baby is enough to get him hard as a rock.

Probably won't have the guts to just show his kink straight up, he's gonna hide it for a while, pretend he isn't obsessed with the idea of breeding a child into you. But if you have a breeding kink and show your hand first he's gonna be overjoyed - tho, if you are only into it for the kink, he probably won't even think of that possibility. In his head, it's only a breeding kink if you can actually get pregnant. If you let him indulge, he will be fucking into you aggressively, begging you to take his baby, promising to be all sorts of nice and gentle while you are pregnant.

kunigami rensuke

A man with a love for his family - and not even wildcard could kill that, it just made that love a bit rougher. He's a tad more intense, more aggressive, more wild. He wanted to have a family with you and he still does, but now that reflects in an intense breeding kink. It's not about possession, it's about building his own family. About making you into a home for him, and for his seed, for his children. It's about showing how strong he is, that he will paint your insides white and give you a big strong baby.

If you have the same kink he will go crazy, wanting to prove that he can do what you desire. Even if you don't want kids right now, he will act as if you do, it's like training for the real thing. He can wait to have kids, with you wanting it the wait is worth, and he still gets to enjoy the fantasy while he fucks you hard. The mental image alone makes his blood boil. The thought of you big, glowing and vulnerable warms his heart, and he'd prove himself again by being there to care for you.

mikage reo

Wants to prove himself a good father - and there's nothing saying he can't enjoy the process of getting there. He's not the aggressive type in his breeding kink, but that's not to say it isn't intense. He can't look at you without the desire to fill you up with his cum, sometimes he'll catch himself randomly imagining what you'd look like big with his child. For him it's the biggest show of affection, to accept to carry someone's child, to out yourself in such a difficult and vulnerable position for someone you love. It's not just a big sexual fantasy for him, it's an emotional one too. He still is aware of the serious side of having kids, so for now, it's just a kink, but in the future he's going through with it.

He'll probably be worshipping the ground you stand in the minute you let him actually breed you. It isn't going to be rough, but it's going to be passionate. Reo will be pumping you full time and time again while praising you and whispering all his love in your ear. He'll keep track of your cycle to make the most of his chances, he'll still pump you full all the other days tho. But he really wants to get the best chance to breed you, so he can show his pregnant wife off as soon as possible - it's the little bit of possessiveness he has in that kink.

bonus: kaiser, karasu & shidou

Only engage in it as a kink - to the point where they will pay for your birth control. Kids are difficult, expensive and time consuming. He might want to have them at some point in the future, with a lot of planning, but he ain't risking it for a cheap thrill. He still finds the kink hot, tho, something about how primal it is really gets the blood pumping. He loves filling you up with his cum over and over again, whispering about how he is gonna plant his seed into you and make you his. Though, he just wants the fun, not the consequences.

[stardust-in-your-eyes]

Well, alright, since everyone is doing this, let's try it, see how it goes. Mostly because I really wanna do the things on the list, yet always end up being my own worst enemy by not believing I'm worth it or sth. Mwell...

5 notes and I'll stick to going to the gym at least 3 times per week this month. <- got it! will do!

10 notes and I'll start going to bed at 1 am instead of 2 am <- okey dokey, will do ;)

15 notes and I'll give skincare another chance, a.k.a convince myself I'm worth the effort. <- wow, okay, starting tonight 😀

20 notes and I'll actually muster the trust to keep a diary to serve as some sort of semblance to actual therapy. <- gonna be a challenge, but it's needed. Thank you. 😊

25 notes and I'll start writing the story that's buzzing around in my brain for a while, simply for my own enjoyment, not being related to any fandom and all... <- uh oh. I guess i gotta start cooking it then 😉 thankiess for the push!

.... 200 notes and I'll love myself :D <- WEEE GUYS THANK YOU! 🤗🤗❤

Edit: i drastically lowered the last goal. Because some people on here (you know who you are, my lovelies) are showing me so much love that this goal actually seems feasible. I just have to work a bit towards it, and, even if it takes a bit of time, I'll get there.

[writingwithcolor]

Author with cultural disconnect: How do I write without making it seem as if I hate my own heritage?

Anonymous asked:

I’m a white-passing Asian author, and I’ve never felt all that connected with my heritage. My current story centers on a fairy (re: fantasy-world POC) child and ends with her realizing that her parents are toxic af and her human best friend’s family takes her in. This is the perfect opportunity to sort through my own issues with my heritage and finally convince my monkey-brain that it’s okay to not know how to cook Vietnamese food or celebrate tet or speak Vietnamese… But I also realize that if I’m not careful, this could easily slip into “Hey, I hate my heritage and so should you!” So how can I stop that from happening?

Writing for yourself first, not an audience

I ask you a simple question: why put pressure on yourself to have any sort of non-offensive messaging for a story that hasn’t been drafted yet and is to convince your monkey brain it’s okay to exist as yourself?

That seems like the fastest way to stop the story from being actually cathartic and instead a performance art piece when you already feel hung up on performing as “properly” part of your culture.

As I said in Working Through Identity Issues and Other Pitfalls of Representation, not all stories you write need to be for public consumption. Especially stories you’re using for your own self-processing and therapy, because you’re trying to get a cathartic moment that is rewriting your own story.

At what point does the public need to be involved in that?

I do understand the compulsion to want to post—I have definitely posted some Questionable™ material in my drive to get validation for feeling the way I do, wanting people to witness me and say “same.” It’s a powerful urge. Sometimes it’s worked, but most of the time it’s just made me feel horrifically exposed.

But you really do not have to post in public to get any sort of validation. Set up a groupchat with friends if you want the cheerleading and witnessing—people who will know your story and give you good-faith interpretations and won’t accuse you of anything. Honestly I’d suggest setting up this groupchat anyway; as someone who just got one again after quite a few years without it, my productivity has skyrocketed from being around supportive people.

Let the monkey brain have its monkey brain moment and shut off the concept the story is for the public. Shut off the concept of performing for an unknown audience. It’s for you. Be authentic, no matter how bad it would look to outsiders. They’re not reading it. Part of getting catharsis, sometimes, is being the worst version of yourself, somewhere nobody else can see it.

Deciding to publish the work

If, after you do write it, you find that you actually do want to polish it up and put it somewhere… edit it. Rewrite it entirely if that’s what it takes. Take the story through the same drafting process every story needs to go through, ripping out the unfortunate implications as you go.

Editing can be its own form of healing, as you try to figure out what this character would need to not be hateful. As you realize, once this longform journal entry is out of your head, what was bothering you now that you can see it pinned down on a page. But you absolutely do not need to write with the intention of editing in that healing. When I’ve tried, it’s fallen flat.

The healing will come from being yourself, no public involved, and writing about your feelings in their rawest form. Anything else is extra.

There’s no point in trying to put guard rails on the drafting process, not for a deeply personal piece. And by the time that drafting process is done, you’ll likely have specific scenarios and contexts that you can ask about, and you might even have ideas on how to fix it yourself once the story has a shape to it.

This is 100% a situation where there’s no real sense in idea workshopping something in the plotting stage. You’re doing something for you. Decide if it’s for public consumption later (while acknowledging “no” is a perfectly valid answer), and only figure out how to make the story not overtly harmful if you decide to put it out into the public.

~ Leigh