#try mind over matter

[alynnl]

My chronic migraines are still a problem unfortunately, and I’ve been dealing with a real doozy of a headache for three days now. I’ve tried medicine and home remedies but they only give me temporary relief. I guess my triggers are just too strong.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[repurposedmeatlocker]

This happened a few days ago now, but I'm still thinking about it so gonna complain about it on main <3

Went to this local flea market. Lots of clothes and stuff being sold in stands. I don't usually expect to buy something, especially since a lot of stuff is by re-sellers and the prices can go up, but I like to look at the stuff regardless. I came up to this stand with a bunch of really cool printed T-shirts of bands/licensed properties. I remember seeing them some months ago, and I thought to myself, "oh if they have a Beavis and Butt-Head T-Shirt that would be cool. I'd probably buy it." They had one from last time, but even though I liked the design I couldn't convince myself to get it on account of a mysterious stain on it. No clue if that will come off (of-course it was on a beavis and butt-head t-shirt).

Anyway, I find another shirt that looks good! It is kind of faded, but that is chill. It is second-hand of course. I read the tag as $5.00 and thought "oh that makes sense!" I go up to the woman to pay and then she informs me that the tag actually says $65.00!! I was like "UM no thanks!!" That is WAY out of my price range for any SINGLE used-T-shirt. She says "sorry. It is vintage". Flash forward to later and I think about it more and I get PEEVED, because not only is selling a faded, used beaver and butthole T-shirt for $65.00 RIDICULOUS on any account, but to claim that it is VINTAGE?? GIRL THE LOGO ON THAT SHIRT WAS CLEARLY FROM THE 2011 RUN OF THE SHOW??? IS 2011 "VINTAGE" NOW??? IS THAT WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF THIS???

[dukeofthomas]

I need people to realize how horrible 'stalking/constant surveillance/breaking into each other's homes is how the Batfamily show love' is. Like i really need someone to just acknowledge how horrific saying this bullshit is.

Like even fics where they're shown as happy and healthy and with good ties, you've always got this thing where none of them have privacy or any boundaries with each other. Which is directly antithetical to actually having good relationships. And this invasion via hacking and stalking and breaking into homes is portrayed as a positive, good thing; it's just how they show love and care to each other, after all. But for some reason I just personally don't find stalking, lack of privacy or boundaries, and emotional manipulation funny, endearing, or healthy, and just end up disgusted at the attempt to sweep it all under the rug.

[dailykugisaki]

Day 347 | id in alt

Kugisaki hasn't been around Gojo enough to gaf about him LMAO.

[ride-thedragon]

Being in this fandom is so weird. I swear you'd need to come out with a post titled "What Daemon's dreams meant as someone who actually groomed two of their nieces and wanted to fuck their mom" for people to take you seriously at this point. Like not to infringe on author intention, but it's literally his actions and motivations being corrupted into accountability by Alys. Send tweet. It's not that serious.

[l3ominor]

I think I've cried every day this week.

Something about being home I guess

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao

[naivety]

my sense of urgency for this election was all used up watching a genocide play out live on instagram while my mom continued to talk about which politician might make the housing market better and i tried not to genuinely lose my mind over the dissonance. in all honesty short of bombs dropping on americans' houses my adrenal glands are beyond checked out. i'll show up to the polls and do my part and try to plug into the bare bones direct action i can find in the middle of nowhere deep red county state but god. there are so many posts circulating trying to fear monger me into voting for one genocidal president of this genocidal nation over another and i may as well live on a different planet. i can fathom the urgency but i could not make myself feel it short of being held at gunpoint. which may even be on the ballot but that's how americans have been voting for decades now and each of them regardless of party has worried about the idea of being held at gunpoint while a right of theirs is taken away while there are people who are already being held at gunpoint and their rights have already been taken away by the very people being beamed into my eyeballs as the escape from this hypothetical violence that's already non-hypothetically happened to millions who aren't US liberals because of the america they're trying to save from trump the same america regardless of democrats or republicans or whigs or federalists and does anyone else feel like they're going crazy

[mars-ipan]

god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…

[xylophone888]

actually headcanon: right after the agatean empire turned into a republic (maybe a federation or some other fancy word to describe not being a cruel tyranny anymore) open for trade rich people thought for some reason that they're gonna make an easy buck since "they just started trading so they must have zero experience" but were quickly disproven when they found out that over several centuries the agateans have created the most confusing disgustingly complicated viciously elaborate bureaucratic system in the entire history of the disc just because they had nothing else to do; any attempt to scam this government would be forced to go through at least fifteen different circles of paper and ink based hell controlled by people wearing square glasses and formal black and white attire strangely resemblant of the traditional clothing executioners wore before death penalty and all (known) methods of torture got banned... and then if even those found nothing the request to sell five tons of birch for three tons of gold landed right on twoflower's desk and no matter how naive this man is in interpersonal matters he knows precisely what birch is worth due to years of making sure he doesn't have to pay if the owner intentionally burns the entire forest down

in fact, these people know their worth ever since climbing out of the womb, trying to scam even the most average agatean will get you cussed out with some of the most detailed but uniquely non-obscene wordings known to anybody ever; they value themselves and their time and don't like getting lied to, that's why it was pretty easy to convince them the old empire deserved to be overthrown once they saw the first batch of foreigners come in not looking like cruel barbarian demons whatsoever; nowadays even the most conservative auntie will tell you that the old emperor was a total [redacted for legal reasons to avoid paying moral damages] and of course an absolute [redacted out of fear of invoking the emperors vengeful spirit] for trying to mess with his people about these weird backwards folks who had trouble understanding the most basic paper money before a wet guy made some for them

[get-back-homeward]

My queue was in the middle of 1968 India trip posts during the anniversary of Brian Epstein’s death and the statue unveiling, so it got me thinking about the connection of these two events.

It’s easy to forget the link between the two because they’re technically 6 months apart. But it feels underappreciated how much Brian’s specter looms large over the entire India trip. And not just because they delay the grief process several months in the name of Paul’s favorite coping mechanism. But because Brian dies the week they first meet the Maharishi:

Tuesday, August 22: The band’s first recording session since June; they record takes 1-8 of Your Mother Should Know

Wednesday, August 23: Recording take 9 of Your Mother Should Know and Brian stops by

Thursday, August 24: The Beatles first meet the Maharishi at a lecture in London. At the end of the day, they hold a press conference, get a 90-min private meeting with the Maharishi, and plan to go to Bangor, Wales for a 10-day training in Transcendental Meditation (TM) the next day.

Friday, August 25: They travel to Wales, the first time in years they’re traveling without Brian or Mal or Neil, and it’s chaotic; after they arrive, they get a message from Brian saying he will join them on Monday.

Saturday, August 26: Following a day of training, they renounce drugs in a press conference (well, LSD at least). Brian spur of the moment drives back to London from Kingsley Hill after the guests he invited for the weekend don’t make it.

Sunday, August 27: Brian dies from an overdose of sleeping pills the previous night; he’s found around noon, the Beatles are inducted into TM before the news about Brian reaches them. They had a private meeting with Maharishi about their grief (he talks about reincarnation and the need for positive thoughts about Brian to help this process). Then Paul goes back to London while John and George are forced to make a statement for reporters staked outside.

Monday, August 28: Paul presents the idea for the MMT film and convinces them to keep working rather than go to India now.

That’s one week.

Whether you want to look at it as fate, consequence, or coincidence, TM and Brian’s death are linked forever because of this timing. The simple act of losing Brian factors into the disparate grief reactions and subsequent burnout symptoms seen visibly in each band member after India and across the next year. But this timing would haunt anyone. And not just because those around Brian report him feeling jealous about their diverted attention toward the guru this week. Just dumb what ifs that grief can haunt your brain with: what if they hadn’t heard about the lecture, what if they hadn’t gone on the Bangor trip or had invited Brian to join them on the train, what if they hadn’t appeared on camera announcing they were giving up drugs because of the Maharishi’s influence, etc etc etc.

This link between TM and Brian’s death is especially worth considering for John, who I believe is the only one who ever directly expresses guilt over his death. This isn’t unique as he expressed guilt for all deaths around him in an opaque way believing he’s a curse on people he loves. But it also is understandable because he had some warning. Pete Shotton talks about a worrying tape message John receives from Brian a few days before. Brian’s father died only 6 weeks prior, and Brian’s secretary finds a suicide note dated just before that. There seems to be some uniformity among those closest to him at this time that while he may have been actively considering suicide earlier in the summer, he wouldn’t have after his father passed out of concern for his mother. Still, even with the idea it was all just a terrible accident, those dumb what ifs would creep up in a case like this.

When you add in that Bangor is a spur of the moment trip, that it’s the first one they’ve taken in years without Brian’s planning and guidance, and that telling Brian or inviting him to join them seems like an afterthought? Well, it’s not hard to see how that close link and the guilt that it inspires would have factored into John’s desperation for finding that answer in India. And his anger when it doesn’t deliver. It looks like a desperation to make a consequential choice matter. Searching for the answer to life guided by a holy man makes TM and the Bangor trip meaningful. It makes it important. But to a guilt-filled brain, the idea the man is a fraud means Brian died for nothing. It’s a 60 foot drop into the earth, nothing but a deep dark hole of emptiness.

Now add that John shares with Brian more than just a tendency for depression.

[dare-g]

I told myself that I would do some art that wasn't for whichever cartoon I've been watching but then I saw a funny frame of animation and drew a cross stitch pattern for it anyway

[astralprisms]

Got a commission back of ambassador illithid!xa'rok looking stately and I love it but I also tragically want to redesign their entire ambassador outfit which renders the purpose of the art obsolete. I hate clothes everyone should just be naked

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

it sucks when you have something veerrrryy Specific you want to draw but it hinges one one equally Specific thing you have no way of including