#trust me this compilation makes sense in my head

[motianz]

Mo seeking comfort in He tian

I need you to

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Tim Encounters a Fae at a Gala

Which may be a problem, yes, but the much more alarming part? The Fae looks like Damian.

"This is pretty boring, don't you think?"

The voice comes from behind, and Tim recognizes it instantly, but at the same time, he doesn't. He's never heard Damian talk like this, easy and a little amused, with no usual stiffness to his speech. Yet this couldn't be anyone else - being a vigilante means you can never drop your guard even in your civilian identity, and who other than Damian could have sneaked up on him?

He turns around.

It is Damian, and at the same time, it's not. The boy looks just like the demon child, the same face, same height and skin tone, the same way he puts his hair. But something is wrong. The way he holds himself, his relaxed and almost lazy posture, the absence of a usual scowl on his face, the way he feels comfortable here, in a crowd of people.

And his eyes, when he looks at Tim. Icy blue, almost translucent, like the color of icebergs and glaciers.

The not-Damian tilts his head a little and smiles just slightly. Tim blinks, realizing that there was a question, and he just stares at the boy instead of answering.

"Yeah, sure," he clears his throat and breaks the eye contact, looking away from not-Damian's eyes, his thoughts a frantic mess. Is this another clone? Or some kind of a shapeshifter? In any case, they approached Tim first, he can't lose his chance at gaining some information. So Tim smiles back, "Is it your first time? At the gala, I mean."

Now, when he looks at the boy again, the stricking resemblance doesn't hit him so hard. Instead, Tim notices something else - the boy is... eerily beautiful. He's never noticed Damian looking this nice - because that would be kind of creepy if he did, - but this not-Damian is... He can't really put it into words.

He's just beautiful.

Almost unnaturally so.

"You could say that," not-Damian answers, looking over the crowd around them, "I'm not used to so many people around, but I've seen my fair share of social gatherings."

Tim blinks. That statement compiled with his absolute lack of any kind of nervousness makes little sense.

Alright, he needs to get at least some information from the mystery twin. He is a detective, for god's sake.

"Are you here with someone?" That can be a useful question. Tim sure as hell knows that Bruce could not invite some Damian lookalike without prior warning, which means the boy had to come as someone's plus one. Or he sneaked in with no invitation, that's also a possibility.

"My godfather should be here somewhere," not-Damian nods, scanning the crowd before nodding his chin in the direction of a small cluster of people. Tim follows his gaze and finds a white-haired man in a matching white and silver suit in the middle of telling some kind of story.

"Vladimir Masters?" He questions with a noticeable amount of disbelief. The man never said a word about having a godson. Ever. And Tim did a thorough background check on the owner of DalvCo.

"Got it in one," not-Damian grins. Is it just Tim, or do his teeth really look sharper than they are supposed to?

Come to think of it, his ears are also not as round as they should be.

Unnatural beauty, sharp teeth and pointy ears, questions answered in a vague and unclear way. And Tim hadn't noticed him blink even once.

He has a guess. He doesn't like it, it's a very, very bad guess, but Tim is a Bat, a Robin, and a Detective. He knows when he needs to trust his gut even if his gut is telling him absolute nonsense.

He just needs to make sure.

Tim swallows the anxious feeling in the back of his throat and turns back to not-Damian, smiling:

"I think I didn't catch your name?" He does his best at sounding confused and not alarmed. The boy's grin widens just a bit, but Tim feels a cold shiver run down his back, and his mind is all but screaming for him to run away for this is not human, and whatever it is, it is dangerous.

"Would you give me yours in exchange?" The boy's voice is soft and easy, not a hint of mischief. Just a casual question. Maybe a little teasing.

Tim's blood runs cold as he tries to remember everything he has ever read and heard about the fair folk. Never give them your name, but there has to be a way to answer this question, right?

"You may call me Damian," he finally answers. Maybe this is a risk, calling himself his brother's name, but Tim feels like this is somehow a right thing to do since the boy - the creature - looks like him.

Not-Damian's eyebrows shoot up, and there's a hint of surprise in his eyes when he starts quietly laughing. The heavy pressure of the air around him disappears at the sound of the crystalline laughter, like it was never there. Tim feels like he had just disarmed a bomb or passed a test with his own life at stake. Maybe he actually did.

"Clever," the boy grins again and nods politely, bowing his head down like they are at a medieval ball and not a gala, "My name is Danny. It is nice to meet my brother's brother."

| <-prev | next-> |

[cursedlovesstuff]

Fixing Us. Part 4.

In the car, Nat’s mind raced with doubts and fears as she navigated through the city traffic.

Wanda sat beside her, scrolling through her phone, looking for recipes, but it was hard to ignore the storm of thoughts swirling inside Nat’s head.

“Stop overthinking, Nat,” Wanda said suddenly, breaking the silence.

Nat glanced over, startled. “What are you talking about?”

“Your thoughts are loud,” Wanda replied, not looking up from her phone. “You’re overthinking everything that could go wrong.”

“Because a lot could go wrong, Wanda. This is Y/N we’re talking about,” Nat said, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“I know, which is why you shouldn’t overthink. It’s not helping,” Wanda replied gently.

“I can’t stop overthinking. What if she’s falling out of love with me? What if there’s someone else? What if she doesn’t trust me anymore?” Nat’s voice grew more anxious with each question.

“If she was falling out of love, she wouldn’t give you a chance to fix things. You’re Y/N’s blind spot; she still loves you and she’s still in love with you. If she wasn’t, she would have left by now,” Wanda said firmly.

“Maybe you’ll realize that when you stop pushing her away.”

“I don’t push Y/N away,” Nat retorted defensively.

“You push everyone away, Nat,” Wanda countered, finally putting her phone down. “When you get stressed out and when work gets tough, you shut down emotionally. You try to pretend everything is fine when you’re struggling. You lose focus and forget important things, and Y/N puts up with it.”

Nat remained silent, her knuckles white as she gripped the steering wheel.

Wanda continued, “She tries to get you to sleep, to eat, to train. She tries to keep you on schedule so you don’t fall apart. After so many years, I couldn’t tell you why she still tries to keep you from spiraling.”

Nat sighed deeply, feeling a pang of guilt. “I know I’ve been difficult. I know I’ve taken her for granted.”

“You need to show her that you appreciate her, that you’re willing to put in the effort to make things right,” Wanda said softly. “The reason why I’m helping you is not just for the sake of your relationship, but for the sake of Y/N. She deserves happiness just as much as any of us she has also had a rough life, especially after everything she has done for you.”

“Everything she has done for me?” Nat repeated, sensing there was more to that statement than Wanda was letting on.

Wanda’s eyes flickered with something unspoken, but she didn’t elaborate. “Look, we’re here,” she said instead, nodding towards the parking lot of the shopping center.

Nat pulled into a parking space, turned off the engine, and sat there for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “Thank you, Wanda,” she said quietly. “I don’t know what I’d do without your support.”

Wanda smiled warmly. “That’s what friends are for. Now, let’s get this dinner sorted out. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

They walked into the grocery store, grabbing a cart. Nat glanced at the shopping list Wanda had compiled. “So, shrimp alfredo and garlic toast?”

“Yep, and we’ll need fresh ingredients to make it special. Let’s start with the seafood section,” Wanda suggested.

As they moved through the aisles, Wanda continued to offer advice. “Remember, it’s not just about the dinner. It’s about showing Y/N that you’re willing to put in the effort, that you’re thinking about her and what she likes.”

“I know,” Nat said, picking out a bag of fresh shrimp. “I just hope it’s not too late.”

“It’s never too late if you’re willing to make a change,” Wanda reassured her, placing a loaf of fresh bread in the cart.

As they moved to the produce section, Wanda picked up a bag of flour. Nat furrowed her brow in confusion. “Why do we need flour? Aren’t we just buying pasta?”

Wanda shook her head with a smile. “We’re making the pasta from scratch. It tastes better, and only the best for Y/N.”

Nat was impressed but also slightly overwhelmed. “Are you sure I can pull this off?”

“With my help, absolutely,” Wanda said confidently. “Let’s grab some fresh garlic and parsley too.”

They continued shopping, selecting the best ingredients. As Wanda picked up fresh tomatoes and heavy cream, Nat asked, “What are those for?”

“Homemade alfredo sauce. Trust me, it’s worth the effort,” Wanda explained, placing the items in the cart.

They made their way through the store, filling the cart with fresh basil, Parmesan cheese, and a bottle of white wine for the sauce. Nat’s mind was slightly more at ease as they checked off items from the list.

Once they had everything for the dinner, Nat wandered off to another section of the store, intent on picking up some of Y/N’s favorite things. She grabbed Oreos, her favorite chips, and some wine she knew Y/N loved among with other things.

As they checked out, Wanda looked at Nat curiously. “You really went all out with the extras.”

Nat smiled slightly. “I want to show her I’m thinking about her, not just with dinner, but in all the little things she loves.”

Wanda nodded approvingly. “That’s the right approach.”

After checking out, Wanda and Nat headed to the car to put up the groceries. Once they got into the car, Wanda gave her a reassuring smile. “Ready?”

Nat nodded, a mix of nerves and determination in her eyes. “Ready.”

As they drove back to Nat’s apartment, the weight of the evening ahead felt heavy but hopeful. Nat was prepared to do whatever it took to make things right, one step at a time.

Back at the apartment, Nat and Wanda unpacked the groceries. Nat carefully placed the fresh ingredients on the counter, feeling a mix of anticipation and anxiety. Wanda began to organize everything, setting out the flour, eggs, and olive oil for the pasta dough.

“Okay, first thing’s first,” Wanda said, tying an apron around her waist. “We’re going to make the pasta dough. It’s a bit messy, but it’s worth it.”

Nat nodded, following Wanda’s lead.

“Alright, Nat. Here’s how we make the pasta dough. First, make a hole in the center of the flour,” Wanda instructed, demonstrating with a mound of flour on the counter. “Then, we crack the eggs into it.”

Nat watched closely and imitated Wanda’s actions, cracking eggs into the flour. “Like this?”

“Perfect,” Wanda said with a nod. “Now, you gently beat the eggs with a fork, slowly incorporating the flour from the edges.”

Nat concentrated, her tongue peeking out slightly as she carefully mixed the eggs and flour. “This is harder than it looks.”

Wanda chuckled. “It takes practice, but you’re doing great. Keep going until it forms a dough.”

As the mixture began to come together, Nat used her hands to knead it into a smooth ball. Wanda added a bit of olive oil, showing Nat how to work it into the dough. “Now we knead. Press it with the heel of your hand, fold it over, and repeat.”

Nat followed Wanda’s movements, finding a rhythm in the repetitive motions. “How long do we knead it?”

“About ten minutes, until it’s smooth and elastic,” Wanda replied. “You’re doing really well, Nat.”

After the dough was ready, they wrapped it in plastic wrap and set it aside to rest. Next, Wanda guided Nat through preparing the shrimp. “First, we need to devein and clean these,” Wanda explained, showing Nat how to remove the shells and veins from the shrimp.

Nat mimicked her, quickly getting the hang of it. “This isn’t so bad.”

“See? You’ve got this,” Wanda encouraged. “Now, let’s season them with some salt, pepper.”

With the shrimp prepped, they moved on to the sauce. Wanda handed Nat a small knife and a clove of garlic.

Nat carefully chopped the garlic, as wanda prepared the pan with olive oil, waiting for Nat to finish. “Great job, Nat.”

After wanda put the garlic into the pan it wasn't long before the aroma of garlic filled the kitchen as it cooked.

Wanda added heavy cream and white wine to the pan, stirring gently. “We’re making the sauce now. Let it simmer and thicken.”

While the sauce simmered, Wanda brought out the pasta dough. “Time to roll out the pasta,” she said, grabbing a rolling pin. “Dust the counter with flour and roll the dough out thinly.”

Nat rolled out the dough, amazed at how it transformed. “This is actually fun.”

Wanda laughed. “Cooking can be therapeutic. Now, we’ll cut the dough into thin strips for the fettuccine.”

They used a sharp knife to cut the pasta into even strips, laying them out to dry slightly. Wanda checked the sauce, adding grated Parmesan cheese and fresh basil. “The sauce is almost ready. Just needs a bit more time.”

Once everything was prepped, Wanda and Nat cooked the pasta in boiling water, watching as it floated to the top. They drained it and added it to the creamy Alfredo sauce, tossing in the cooked shrimp.

After they put everything together in the pot, Wanda’s phone rang, pulling her attention away from their cooking. She glanced at the screen and her face grew serious. “Clint? What’s up?”

Natasha watched Wanda’s expression intently. After a brief conversation, Wanda nodded and ended the call. “Alright, I’ll be there soon.”

Wanda said washing her hands she turns her attention to nat "I have to go someone is trying to rob a bank across town"

"Do you need my help?"

"I think I can handel it but what I do need you to do is fix things with y/n".

“What am I gonna do without your help?” Nat asked, her worry evident.

“Relax, Nat,” Wanda said, giving her a reassuring smile. “Just let the food cook on low for the next 20 minutes.” She hurried to pull on her jacket. “Uh, I’ll send you the recipe for the garlic bread. It’s simple. Call Y/N and see what time she’ll be home.”

Natasha nodded, trying to absorb Wanda’s calmness. “Okay. I’ll handle it.”

Wanda squeezed Nat’s shoulder reassuringly before rushing out. Alone in the kitchen, Nat took a deep breath and began preheating the oven. She gave herself a pep talk, muttering, “You’ve got this. Finish dinner, make her happy, apologize, and talk. Be honest and open. Don’t push her away.” She grabbed her phone and dialed Y/N’s number.

The phone rang for about a minute until Y/N picked up. “Hello?”

“Hey, are you at work right now?” Nat asked, her heart pounding.

There was silence for about ten seconds before Y/N responded. “I’m just getting off and heading to the store. We ran out of eggs and flour, and I need to get something to cook for dinner.”

Nat smiled slightly. “I already went to the store and bought groceries for the week.”

“You did?” Y/N sounded surprised.

“Yes. When will you be home?”

“I guess I can be home in less than 15 minutes.”

“Great. I’ll see you in 15 minutes,” Nat says.

“Oh...okay,” Y/N replied, still sounding puzzled.

After hanging up, Nat started setting up the bed neatly, placing Y/N’s basket of treats and goodies with care. She then returned downstairs, set the oven to preheat, and nervously began preparing the ingredients for the garlic bread.

She heard the door open and close, followed by Y/N’s worried voice. “Nat?” ~

[eliashirsch]

God Tier Top Gun Fanfictions. A Masterlist. (1/3)

As of 15th May 2024, these are some of the BEST stories I have read in the fandom. Of course, this is completely subjective and there are many personal factors as to why I crowned them God Tier. 

Mainly:

Reading it for the first time: ‘Oh, this is really good, I’m going to be thinking about this for the rest of my life’

When compiling the list: ‘Oh my god, this fic, man, this fic!!’

There are many other fics that match the first criteria, but for it to be on this list, I needed to have these two reactions.

REMINDER! READ THE AUTHORS' TAGS AND WARNINGS!!! They’re there for a reason. PLEASE make sure you understand where the story is going to be before reading!!

Without further ado, I present to you, my roman empires:)

Winner Categories:

1. Best of the Best Authors (1/3)

2. Best of the Best Series (2/3)

3. Best of the Best Fics (3/3)

4. Honorary Mentions (4/3)

Best of the Best Authors

Authors that I trust with my life, whose work are ALL incredibly well written. 

COMPACFLT @compacflt

They’re the first person to pop in my head when I was thinking about making this list. No amount of time and words will be enough for me to describe how good their work is. Seriously. It’s on a level I’ve never seen before for fanfiction. The world building, the characterization, the prose, everything. COMPACFLT has a way of understanding these characters, it makes so much sense and fits so well with canon. I’m just at a loss for words. Genuinely the reason I converted to Icemav supremacy.

When We Get Around to Talking About It 

Goose has been dead for a week and a half when Iceman loses his first wingman in a dogfight with six Soviet MiGs over the Sea of Okhotsk. Goose has been dead for thirty years when Iceman loses his second wingman to a surface-to-air missile on the tail-end of a mission he's responsible for: he's sent his family on a suicide mission to destroy a uranium enrichment facility in Russia's Far East. This is the story of those thirty years in the middle. (Or: Tom Kazansky rises through the ranks while trying to stay a good man. If he ever was one to begin with.)

This was the first story I’ve read from them. And it’s so… I don’t have words.  It’s told from Ice’s perspective, filling the gaps between TG and TG:M with added Icemav and Hangster. In my mind this is canon:D

Debriefing (& Other Stories)

"We can start here, I guess. If we're talking about us," Pete says. "Nineteen-eighty-six. The first thing I thought, when I saw you in that O-club, was: Iceman is off-limits. Capital O, capital L." Despite himself, despite the fear, Tom laughs a little. "Oh, yeah? Why's that?" "Well, first off, we were competition. And yeah, you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth and I swear. You were just an asshole. Goose is trying to introduce you to me and here I am thinking about how much of an asshole you are. Shut up about Cougar, asshole." "It was supposed to be a friendly competition!" "Yeah, right. So that's what I was thinking: he's attractive, clearly doesn't know how to talk to other men, might be into the proposition if I framed it the right way. But he's an asshole, so this competition is just gonna be friendly." Pete pauses. Then he says, "Ice, you wanna get married?" And that's how they start talking about it. (Or: they finally get around to talking about it. Plus a couple extra stories for good luck.)

Sigh and send COMPACFLT a loving look. This Maverick's POV adds so much to the story without being repetitive. COMPACFLT deliberately tells their story like puzzle pieces, and they complete each other—just like Icemav, if you will. 

The Slider oneshot is truly something else. I was so eager for the upload and kept an eye on their account for updates religiously. To flesh out a character that barely has any source material is an incredible skill to have. And the Bradley oneshot… Omg… My favorite characterization of Bradley, period. 

Tremors & Aftershocks

They both come back to their senses and stop openly crying again eventually. The stitches fall out of the thirty-year-old wounds and the scars fade back to skin-color. Life stops being so painfully raw after a couple weeks back home. You get used to miracles the way you get used to anything else. One day at a time. [Or: 40 years of extras, from 1982-2022. Some true love, some heartbreak, some miracles.]

To me, this one has a different feeling from the other two. More focused on Ice and Mav’s relationship as opposed to the whole plotline. It’s tender and bittersweet and feels like being hugged for the first time and then told that you wouldn’t get another hug in thirty years time.  

What impresses me most is that, if you go to COMPACFLT’s Tumblr account, you’ll see the thought they’ve put for these stories are INSANE. They’re so educated on the military and its history and it adds so much to these characters. I’m not American and all my writing for Top Gun will always stem from google searches and other fics. If you’re a nerd like me and like to read about other’s analysis about topics they know nothing about, I suggest you go to their account and have fun.

COMPACFLT, you have captured my soul with your writing. Thank you for your service and I wish you well in life.

AortaArgent @aortaargent

If you’re looking for an author who can write smut like nothing else, go to their profile. Better yet, click here, and scroll down to the threads they made about girl!Mav and get horny real quick. It’s a shortcut to heaven really. (And yes, I’m still upset that they seem to have left the fandom, but I still hold the stories they’ve left behind close to my heart:)) My favorites:

like a shotgun (needs an outcome)

“Ice gave me a handjob when we did this,” he argues. “Oh, that’s what gets you moving? Seeing who comes first?” With that, Slider takes hold of him, wrapping his hand around and keeping his fist steady. “Go on, baby girl. Fuck it like a good little -” He squeezes Slider’s balls a little harder than he’d imagine is necessarily pleasant. For Slider. It's definitely nice for him. “Fuck,” Kerner chokes out, weakly. Ice sounds like he’s trying not to laugh. “I told you he bites.” In which there are multiple realisations, improbable numbers of pilots hanging out in a shared shower, volleyball games and verbal tennis. Yes, it's compulsory to wear your dogtags in the shower - never know when you could need identification. (Only kidding, it's for added fuckability.)

It’s so hot... but believable at the same time. BDSM is just one of those things where you read about it and can tell if the author has experience or is just extremely well-informed. 

Eye to Eye 

“Maybe it’s not just us looking to get a piece of you,” Wolf says. He’s right by Maverick’s head, and a shiver rolls down his shoulders in a sweeping tide at the soft click of each word against his ear. “Maybe we offered. You’re so pretty, Mav. It’s not a hard sell.” His hands twitch with the effort of not reaching up to tear off the blindfold and find out if they’re telling the truth or just winding him up. It’s possible. Occupied, blindfolded, he might not have noticed the door opening. More guys could have been in the showers. Two hands circle his ankles, firm over his boots, and hold him steady. Someone else has his left hand, kneading the tendons down the back of it. Anyone and anything is plausible. A continuation. Finally.

HOT DAMN. That’s all.

AortaArgent portrayed Ice and Mav’s relationship as absolute and secure while having fun with Mav’s dynamic with the other guys. All of their works are mind-boggling and simply amazing!

thecarlysutra @icemankazansky

Need I say more? Carly’s one of the most prominent members of the Top Gun fandom. Actually, I trust any member of the Top Gun Old Guard. With Carly, there’s something about their writing that makes me think of discovering an old box of CDs you used to watch relentlessly, dusty and worn, but the nostalgia rushes back and it’s achingly familiar. You can tell they’ve been writing for Top Gun for so long the characters kind of became their own. And when you click on any fic they wrote, you can fall and trust they’ll catch you. My favorites:

and i promise, you're the locksmith

“Is something going on in your neighborhood?” Maverick asked. “Like … a pest problem or something?” “You could say that,” Ice said. “Like … a coyote or something?” “Suitors,” Ice said. Maverick's attempts to woo Iceman are somewhat complicated by the promise Ice has made: Anyone who wants to marry him must catch his cat, which wears the key to his house around its neck on a silver chain. Inspired by the Tumblr legend.

This one’s so cute!!! Ugh, I’m never going to get tired of reading Icemav fall in love over and over again. 

Dreams of Impact

Maverick's trip in Darkstar takes him further than he ever imagined possible.

Sigh for the second time and send hearts Carly’s way. Basically, Mav gets transported to another universe and weird things happen. I love fics that dabble with the universe, the what-ifs, the what could’ve been. Do you ever have that moment when you make a decision, look back and wonder how life would be if you chose differently? Click on the link and read 🫵

aelibia @topgunreacts

God. aelibia’s just too good. It’s like banger after banger after banger. If you’re looking for an author whose work is a guaranteed good read, click the link and it’ll show you magic. They have Icemav ranging from tender and soft to angsty, portraying all different sorts of love and a way of writing explicit sex that I’ve never found anywhere else. 

I can’t even pick which one’s my favorite because they’re all my favorite. Especially the series they wrote, oh my god. I love them all. However, one that I reread religiously and being giddy over is this:

Wine Dark Sea

Raised by a selkie mother bound to a human man, Ice returns to the human world as a teenager with a singular purpose: to find the source of human strength, and claim it for himself. But after a careless mistake binds him to another human man, Ice is forced to reconsider his most fundamental beliefs: What is the meaning of strength? And what is the cost of freedom?

It’s so silly at times and heartbreaking most of the time. I especially love the later chapters where the evil is defeated and Ice is just being a silly seal while Mav’s being the supportive partner that he is. This fic is the SOLE REASON that my favorite animal is a seal. Thank you for opening my eyes to something that has been so obvious from the start, your majesty aelibia.

I also humbly present these seal drawings because the image of Ice galumphing around a Navy base, complete with wet smacks and people shrieking in horror makes me laugh everyday. That, and the scene where Mav is surrounded by four fat harbor seal pups and reading a story to them. Eleven out of ten. 

This one’s my favorite:}

[narcoticwriter]

I'm Finally Breaking My Silence.

I can't take it anymore. Someone has to know about this. It's been years since the realization dawned on me and years since I've kept my lips sealed, but I can bear it no longer.

It makes no fucking sense how the tall Genshin women have heels.

This is a meme, but I'm also on something else entirely. Maybe it's delusion.

I don't care if it's for the fanservice, I don't care if it's hot, and I certainly don't care if people like it because it makes no sense whatsoever.

I don't know how people can run around in varying landscapes and roads on heels. I don't know how the heel itself would survive such treatment. And I don't know how the wearer, no matter how skilled, would not trip and fall on their ass.

Some instances can be afforded more forgiveness than others, but this will not stop me from compiling a list of how I feel about them individually and as people:

Actual Insanity -

Beidou: The Alcor is a wooden boat. One day, that heel is slipping through a small hole in the floor, snapping off, and sending her careening across the starboard. Someone's going to laugh. And then they will be tossed into the brine before being pulled back out and promptly begging for forgiveness. I cry.

Jean: The Gunnhildrs are masochists. The pain is worth it for Mondstadt, as always. How does she do it, running around everywhere and carrying the Knights of Favonius on her back? There's no way that she doesn't kick off the boots while sitting at her desk when it becomes too much to bear.

Dehya: When she says that she wants to slay on the battlefield as much as her looks, I did not think that the shoes would also be a thing to consider. And in sand? Are you mad? Those heels are sinking. No wonder her burst cancels when she jumps. Imagine having to rework your precarious footing every single time.

Yelan: This sick woman unironically likes it. She probably enjoys the sensation of pain every single time it becomes borderline pleasurable. It doesn't help that she looks forward to it being treated too. Herbalist Gui is getting really sick of having to wrap her feet in gauze after slathering it with medicinal foot cream.

Rosaria: I don't know if she's capable of caring anymore, actually. She doesn't seem to process this the same. The woman has an aesthetic to commit to and she doesn't do anything halfway, including her fit. She says she doesn't get drunk, but you know damn well that it and the nicotine numb the pain.

Eula: Anyone who says that they can do reconnaissance work and wear those things is lying, and Eula Lawrence is no exception to this rule. To add insult to injury, she also has spurs on them. Spurs on those beasts of shoes. Respectfully, she needs to twist her ankle and be put on bedrest for the day, so she can think about it.

Candace: I can't believe that this mentally brought me to my fucking knees. How dare you? You live in an area that is mostly sand and dust! You go out in the night and kill things! You're constantly out and about taking care of things! WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH HIGH HEELS?!?

Shenhe: (head in hands) I don't even know if she knows that this isn't normal to wear. I'm going to Cloud Retainer's domain and demanding that she be put in something that makes more sense. She lives in the mountains for Archon's sake! She may not act entirely human, but trust me, she is one at the end of the day.

It Makes Some Sense -

Kujou Sara: She's won, actually. Geta are allegedly much more comfortable to wear than heels. She slays, stays stylish, and isn't suffering while doing so. Good for her, because this is one of the only wins she has in a long, long list of L's, mostly attributed to Yae Miko if you take the time to really look at it.

Lisa: Is she really going to be running around all that much? No! Because she has her little helpers to go around and do things for her. And even if she has to go around by herself, she does so at a rate that isn't breakneck speed. Also, I personally believe that she has some potions and enhancements to help out with it.

Ningguang: She barely gets a pass. Barely. I personally don't believe she takes that walk around the pier every day. It's every other day at the most consistent. At every other function, you can trust that she has a seat and that she's not on her feet. She can afford to have such accommodation.

Raiden Shogun: If her body wasn't a puppet that she made for herself, I would absolutely put her in the other category. She absolutely made sure that she wouldn't feel pain while wearing those things and it shows with how she's able to move like she does in combat.

Yae Miko: I won't call it foul and say that since she can shift into a kitsune form, she's not going into this category, but provide the proof in other ways. Do you really see her going anywhere in a hurry? Precisely the point. She could probably get away with people carrying her places.

[AAAAAA] -

Arlecchino: I have no words for the atrocity that is those heels. None at all. If I think about them too much, I'll start frothing at the mouth, and not in any good way.

Conclusion - My heart weeps prematurely for Clorinde and Navia. Fontainian fashion can kiss my ass. I mourn their feet.

[gem-de-lune]

Helloo! Thank you for all the readings ever since and for the update today! My question is abt you if its not too intruding. If it is, you could just ignore this! That’s totally fine i just got curious because i am a believer of energy and vibrations but i don’t know the specifics of it yet such as to how to communicate or protect them and sorts. I just think tarot is just one way to go around this.

Anyways, how did you get into tarot reading? And how are you doing your practice to improve your intuition(?), if thats the right term for it😅

Aside from helpful and hopeful, I find your readings interesting. I feel like you’re more attuned to people’s energy as opposed to the other readers i see online. You seem more detailed because the other readers comes off as general when they do read like it’d make me think ‘isn’t that just common sense?’

I didn’t know before that people you read can give permission or not if they like 😲 Maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen a daily reading of someone but how exactly does that work. To what part of the person exactly are you asking? Also, I remember one of your readings where you asked all members and that there were members who were much more open and quicker to respond. I don’t know why but i just imagined little souls of them lining up and all 😭

Oh, when you read do you see a vision on your head or do you hear words? And how does your practice differ from others?

Sorry i thought I was going to ask a few questions only but more questions pop up as I typed this haha. I’m actually curious more than I thought. Again if all this feels too intrusive you don’t have to answer! Sometimes, my curiosity just gets to me.

Thanks again btw! We really appreciate you 🧡

Oooooh i will answer to the best of my ability since a few of yall have been asking something similar and this ask has all those questions compiled lmao.

A- I got into Tarot by essentially ordering a deck and just started doing personal readings for myself right away. I used Tumblr and TarotForum.net (not active to use anymore, but you can research card combinations here, and it is very helpful). I highly recommend just starting with the regular Rider Waite deck bc you need to learn what the most generic cards mean to make things easy later.

B- As for how i practice and improve, as I got more familiar and understanding, i realized there were basically multiple ways to connect energetically for a tarot reading. you could connect to a higher power/diety, or to an individual's subconsious/energy. From there, I began meditating- specifically chakra training, awareness meditations, and Kundalini Awakening Meditation to train my intuition and spiritual connections. At that time, I was connecting to what I call "the universe" mainly. However, the Universe is very finnicky. Sometimes they answer me, and sometimes they do not, and there is no way of me forcing it. I did not realize this until a bit later ofc bc sometimes when you start out, you are not sure of how you should be feeling or what feelings to trust.

But yeah so as I worked on my Chakra training I kind of naturally gravitated more towards people rather than only the Universe, because it makes for a more accurate palatable reading in simple human terms. The Universe and Dieties will always try to tell you more profound and big picture things, but sometimes you do not need all of that. You just need the most simple explaination. So in most instances, I request for the Universe to assist- but only assist rather than getting all my answers from them. And I ask them to be simple and specific on purpose otherwise the message is way too philosophical and weird bc they are trying to tell me the grand plan of things rather than the details- which is what Humans are more focused on. Reading by connecting to the individual makes it more personable and easy to understand.

C- Now as to how I connect with individuals, I do this in about 3 steps that vary. 1st, I make sure I am able to focus my mind. I do this through some breathing exercises that take a few seconds to a minute, and maybe a short meditation. In particular i keep my eyes closed and have a ritual of blowing onto my deck (idk why it just centers me) then I inhale with it against my nose, then blow out one more time with my head tilted up. I like to visualize sending out shimmering wind that travels to where it needs to be and sends me there. At this point, and let's use Seunghan for example, i will see the person I am connecting to.

They could be doing anything, walking down the street, in a cafe, at home, etc. In Seunghan's case he is usually walking around on the streets or at a public space sitting like at a cafe. Maybe I will call out to him or tap him on the shoulder. He looks up and I hold out my hand. Whether he takes it or not is the permission. That is if I can even get that far though.

I can be stopped at any point. Whether I am unable to visualize the air I blow out travelling, or unable to see the person I attempt to connect to, or maybe i try to force it thinking it's me and the person looks weird (has a weird smile, weird expression, or looks warped), or even if they simply don't acknowledge me at all. All of these are the permission indicators. How far I get insidcates how willing they are to share anything at all.

In the case of the last vibe check attempt, I was stifled from just the air blowing. I thought maybe I was not focusing, so I tried more after meditating, but rather than the normal enviornment I was met with a door to which I knocked on to request entry. Upon entering, I was met with some darkness and just weird expressions from Seunghan and one other member I could not place. But all were just standing around staring at me like an intruder. I could not see all their faces which means some did not want me to know what they were feeling at all. So I decided that was a no and I needed to go for now.

Now when it comes to visualizing like this, it is so much faster, more fleeting, and less detailed than what I am describing. It's the vagueness of a fleeting dream almost. Which is why meditating and being focused is important bc every small sensation is a factor that changes the enviornment.

When I do the Vibe checks for all members- I've mentioned before about how "so and so wanted to go first" lol and it IS kinda similar to tiny voices in my head but since it's energy it's just a vibe. I'll ask "who wants to go first" and in my head like a mantra it'll be like "Sohee Sohee Sohee Wonbin Wonbin SOHEE SOHEE Eunseok SOHEE" and some will back off and wait their turn and others will go back and forth for a while before I get annoyed 🥴. The event is similar to when you have a song stuck in your head. The ones that usually care the least about the order are Anton and Sungchan, also sometimes Shotaro. Eunseok likes to be first a lot and so does Wonbin. Sohee it just depends. I usually do Seunghan first regardless so he is never part of those fights lol.

Anyways a lot of this is basic intuition and rather than really detailed visions it is just feeling. You know like how you meet your friend's eyes and you immediately know what they are thinking or wanting to say? It is like that. As to how I came to know how to do that I have absolutley no clue- it is just something I eventually started doing naturally when doing readings and it has been very accurate ever since.

I hope this makes sense lolol i kinda went too in depth but I hope this helps for anyone interested in learning to read tarot in this method. You have to be a very empathetic person though and remember to use protection like sage or crystals bc some people's energy lingers on you and it's not always good at all....

Also be careful if you just connect to dieties bc not all of them are good. USE PROTECTION!!

Hope this was insightful! If anyone has further questions about this, feel free to leave a comment? I'll answer them.

[il3x]

i hope if sayeon developing a (one-sided?) friendship with min is a major plot thread, sleepacross brings back the collective punishment corps thing.

i mean, an Aberrant harming a friend to punish Sayeon for her own weaknesses? her failure to comply with a rule?

may as well just beat her over the head with a sign saying CHILDHOOD TRAUMA at this point!

seriously, it drives me nuts that that is Sayeon's FIRST INTRODUCTION TO THE CORPS. hooooooooooly shit. miyeon was so out of pocket for that entire interaction.

but min taking the fall for sayeon's actions is a recurring thing, likely due in part to min's instructions to be a tool for sayeon. take capture the flag. there's no way this doesn't call back to the jugyeong incident.

and how did sayeon react to that incident?

now, the current Min Plotline is that sayeon has become alienated from and distrustful of ryujin & iseul, based on their knee-jerk reactions when she told them about the Corps killing Jaeil in her loops. however, it looks like min's insistence on proving his trustworthiness is getting through to her. the dramatic irony, of course, being that min is in fact lying to her through his teeth, and barely likes her at all. sayeon's trust of him is based on a false impression.

This Relationship Is Gonna Fuckin' Crash!

-- Part that's more loose speculation --

and you know what other false impression Sayeon had of Min?

she saw him as tough, hardened, someone who could take what anyone could throw at him and come out swinging. this is an impression he also encouraged - brushing off concern for the above incidents (see my Min's Stellar Self-Esteem Compilation). and i wouldn't be surprised if it was partly why sayeon moved past her guilt over Said Incidents fairly well and quickly.

anyway, ahahahaha. haha. ha. wouldn't it be fun if both the impressions came crashing down at once?

-- end loose speculation --

even regardless of whether or not min's apparent toughness affected sayeon's Guilt Levels, samin sending min (which is the pending reveal here) has two core implications: one, that min's liking for/loyalty to sayeon was fake, and two, that he was encouraged to risk himself for her sake. given that samin was instrumental in the root cause of those issues... i think it makes sense for this arc to dredge up sayeon's issues around people getting hurt for her errors!

[yuurei20]

Riddle Info Compilation part 22: Ace (pt2)

Riddle seems to have a problem with Ace’s general appearance, saying that “Ace looks quite the gentleman when he dresses properly. If only he’d do it more often.”

Riddle may a thing for proper etiquette in general, and with Ace in particular.

Riddle fixes the prefect's tie in the main story and reprimands Ace both in a vignette and during Phantom Bride for his “uncouth language.”

When Ace goes missing during Vargas Camp Riddle says, “I’ll need to instill a sense of Heartslabyul propriety into him…again.”

He also has a voice line threatening Ace with a beheading for not properly taking care of the dorm’s hedgehogs.

This is possibly a reference to a vignette where Ace helps hunt down Heartslabyul’s hedgehogs after they go missing (he had been on hedgehog duty) and when Riddle thanks him for his efforts he responds, “Wish you’d flash me that nice little smile more often instead of nagging me nonstop.”

When Riddle asks him to repeat himself Ace reacts with, “I said that for our esteemed Housewarden, I would gladly do this and more!”

Both Ace and Sebek are taken out early in Beanfest by Riddle, who says that the effort required “didn’t even amount to a pre-teatime workout.”

In a vignette we see Ace perform sleight-of-hand tricks for Riddle in an attempt to distract him from the fact Ace is not studying but the plan fails.

Ace tries to trick Riddle in a different vignette as well, painting only the fronts of rose trees red at Heartslabyul on the assumption that Riddle won’t notice the backs.

Riddle seems to be fairly used to Ace’s attempts at trickery, calling him out during Phantom Bride for trying to steal Rook’s idea to impress Eliza.

Riddle volunteers Ace as a suitor and he refuses, so Riddle dismisses him back to Heartslabyul and tells him to “tend to the hedgehogs or something. I’ll be fine with Epel here. Because unlike Ace, you possess actual bravery.”

Riddle continues with, “Pity my dorm’s freshmen are such cowards. You have more courage in the tip of your pinky than they do in their entire bodies. I suppose it’s the best of we don’t have any of those spineless worms tagging along. They’d just slow the rest of our team down.”

This successfully tricks Ace into volunteering to join the team.

(Rook’s nickname for Ace is “Monsieur Heart”, and it seems that this confused the EN team in this scene. In Rook’s original line he is commenting on how contrary Ace is, as Riddle was able to trick him into joining the team by insinuating he would fail. On EN, however, it seems they assumed Rook was referring to Riddle as “Monsieur Heart”, and so they changed the word “contrary” to “devious.” Rook’s nickname for Riddle is, however, “Roi de Roses”, so Rook is confusingly calling Ace devious after he gets tricked by Riddle on EN.)

Riddle insists upon Ace participating in Fairy Gala IF, with Ace explaining, “I tried to say no, and he got so mad he nearly had my head!...Since I’d suffer either way, might as well make sure the housewarden owes me.”

Riddle nominates Ace after being impressed by his sleight of hand trick the earlier vignette, and Ace says that he may have gotten carried away because it was one of the few times that Riddle openly complimented him.

Ace tells Riddle, “I hope you show some proper appreciated when I get back.”

When the group fails Riddle says he will take full responsibility for trusting them in the first place.

[lukweer]

ok so like there are two parts of me, right? well there are a lot of parts but english is hurting me right now and my head isn't working so you will make due/do(?)

anyways one part is like: my sense for gay people is strong, i think i know which f1 drivers are gay and i am confident in my answers

but the other part is like: its wrong to speculate sexuality because if people havent come out then they either aren't ready to be out or aren't gay, but at the same time this generation is moving away from the construct of coming out so like... idk.

today the first part is stronger, though, so i want to share my speculations because everyone in the states only watches nascar and is a hick and i'm scared of them. they also do not like my italian accent :(

1. Max Verstappen

come on guys, any gay person could tell u he's probably bi. i mean he doesn't even try to hide it, u know? like there are compilations of him being fruity. and they are shockingly long.

he's mentioned using grindr, he's mentioned girls OR guys when talking about dating preferences, the whole thing with the freaking lei (i think thats how it is spelled, the hawaiian thing? the flower necklace?). the list goes on and on.

he's had girlfriends, and i'm pretty sure they weren't beards but i'm not sure. i'm leaning towards bi tho for this reason.

even if he isn't bi or gay or pan or whatever, he's at least incredibly comfortable with queerness and is probably a really cool dude. annoying when i'm watching the sunday races, but love him the rest of the time!

2. Lando Norris

lando is a bit more subtle with it (as are the other ppl in the list). emphasis on a bit, though.

unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen this gif:

this has called many aboard the lando is a little fruitcake train. what people don't realise is that he "eye fucks" or like... stares lovingly a lot.

other examples include:

staring lovingly at carlos sainz

checking out charles leclerc (kind of? i think he is checking him out)

staring lovingly at carloz sainz

this weird ass moment with, you guessed it, carloz sainz

there are a lot of these photos and clips out there, but i'm lazy and don't feel like looking for them so yeah. take my word for it.

i saw a post saying that if carlos and lando pulled up to the paddock holding hands and telling people they were dating they wouldn't be shocked. i agree with this statement entirely. as was stated, it takes a lot to get to that point, and we're at that point.

now i grew up a gay dude to a conservative family, and i know the little mannerisms that are like... a part of being gay? and i know what it looks like to hide them.

i do not know if this is the right way to say it or if it is politically correct, but i believe it to be true. gay men tend to have little mannerisms here and there that give us away a bit, and i think i've seen some of those in lando.

i don't think i will share them though, as i don't want to accidentally push harmful stereotypes or whatever. obviously not all gay men have gay mannerisms and it might be something lando is insecure about so i would rather not put them on blast.

if it's not a bad thing i may come back and edit this and add them in. idk, let me know i guess? i am still learning american customs.

3. Yuki Tsunoda

this is probably going to be the shortest section (ha).

yuki mostly just makes my radar go off. i don't consume alphatauri content as much, but i know there was a thing with him and pierre that was just crazy last year and the year prior. don't know as much about it as i should haha.

but yeah. yuki just sends my radar into the astral plane (is that a thing? i am doubting myself). if he is not at least bisexual i will eat my own foot.

maybe that one moment between him and michael italiano has just gotten to me, i don't know. i trust in my instincts though.

Honourable Mentions

4. Danny Ric

idk he just gives the vibe! i don't know how to explain my radar. gay people know. i think it is called gaydar.

DR is on it.

5. Carlos Sainz

he is probably on my gaydar the least, but he's still on there. latest vlog he gently combed his finger through ruperts hair. he's probably deeply in love with lando. just little things like that i guess!

6. Oscar Piastri

this may be wishful thinking. i sit in bed at night and pray that he is into men.

that is all! thank you for learning about fruity drivers with me! please do not cancel me if i am doing something politically incorrect! i am still learning!

[coconox]

certified delulu post about nocti

a.n. this'll be a compilation of thoughts from my initial reactions to sands of wrath to his voicelines to literally everything about him. THIS WILL HEAVILY BE A NOCTI X SKK!READER KIND OF THING because i'm all in for a lil self insert to feed my delulu visions. also as a heads up i did read the story using google translate so if i quote anything it's basically what google translate told me but i edited it to make some grammatical sense. and yes there will be spoilers

a lot of context will be left out so if you don't wanna be confused by names check out this lore doc that gives a summary of er-5 or pgr lore in general, this post just talks about er-5 lol

EXHIBIT A: TRIGUN AU

have you seen trigun (ESPECIALLY trimax) cause if you have this makes so much more sense

noctis is vash and nigel is knives

both are brothers and have almost opposite ideologies

i did think of wolfwood and livio as another option but nigel does fit a bit closer to resembling knives

VASHWOOD (where nocti is vash and skk is ww (or the other way round, honestly either still works)

nocti: but you must promise me that you won’t die before i come back! no…. you’re not allowed to die even after i come back! i will definitely find a way to save you!

skk: of course, partner…..

this had me in TEARS I WAS NOT READY

nocti fist bumping you just made me think of this scene with vash and meryl

HE ALSO CALLS YOU PARTNER AS HE FIST BUMPS YOU the way i had this realization so late into writing all this

sands of wrath setting literally looks like a place you’d find in no man’s land

nocti’s voiceline telling you to smile more, similar to ww telling vash to smile more (and i mean their genuine smile, not the fake one they use in front of people)

EXHIBIT B: NOCTI AND SKK ARE MARRIED

they are married and own a bar together hear me out—

you two enter a town in which neither of you are welcome because you’re both from babylonia, the mayor decides to put you two in a hotel room till the harvest festival is over

you two are in separate beds, but neither of you can sleep, so you two do what any pair of roommates would do—

—have a 6 hr "light conversation" :D

first actual convo with nocti, you both take turns to ask questions about why they’re here, what’s going on, etc

nocti asks why you trust him so easily, you respond with “it’s intuition” which is a response nocti seemed to like

you also state how you hope he returns to cerberus and fall asleep. nocti in a way states he also wishes to go back to cerberus and sleeps as well

at some point nocti leaves the hotel room to find demont, who is the reason you two ended up working together in the first place, but there was an attack by hetero creatures and nocti swiftly got rid of them

after talking to the mayor, max, about wanting to be just a resident in town, he takes you to a bar, in which that’s where you find nocti

ya know he could’ve talked about ANYTHING and his drunk ass decided to talk about HOW HE PROTECTED YOU??? COINCIDENCE??? I THINK NOT

you find nocti and he offers his hand out to you to dance with him, you reluctantly agreed and you two end up break dancing together

this was him proposing to you i’m just sayin—

the night passes and you two begin living your lives as residents of new oakley

when he first calls you partner, it was originally solely because temporarily they’re no longer considered members of babylonia, and so to fit in with the whole wild west type style, nocti refers to you as “partner” and you agree to do the same to him

first time it’s used outside your interaction with him was when nocti has small talk with vann

vann: you’ll only obey orders from that commandant, right? these are the rules of the sky garden

nocti: i don’t listen to anyone’s orders, but if it’s a request from my partner, that’s a different matter

NOCTI WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT LIKE WE’RE ROMANTICALLY PARTNERS?????

this isn’t the first time he does something like that he’s very consistent about it

truly a devoted man

also “MY partner” ????? he also pretty much refers to you as his partner throughout the whole story i got whiplashed when we were back to being called skk in his affection story

after you and nocti find demont there’s a small good cop bad cop scene (which i found hilarious), but at the end demont couldn’t reveal much vital information due to dying from poison

nocti realizes this poison is something only nigel can control, and stormed out into the center of town in a fit of rage trying to find nigel

calming him down and telling him to retreat to not make a big scene was practically impossible, that is till you shout “trust me— partner!!” and nocti finally calms down and retreats

HELLO??? CALLING HIS NAME HE DIDN'T BAT AN EYE BUT BEING CALLED PARTNER MADE HIM ACTUALLY LISTEN??

i'm absolutely speechless

you two cook up a plan to find out what’s really going on +bonus hand holding at the end

your part was to just do your job as a bartender while nocti handles the investigating, and eventually nigel shows up

nigel asks what’s the difference between a human and a construct, you respond in a way a bartender would explain it, but nigel wants an answer from you as a commandant rather than a bartender

he ends up poisoning you and leaves, nocti arrives a little while later after discovering what the plan is for this town in the next few days

i remembered that before we split up i told him not to be reckless, but in the end i was the one that was careless and ended up in this miserable condition. i no longer had the strength to stand, so i could only slide down to the edge of the bar. at the beginning, i said big words that would make nocti return to cerberus in an honored manner… i didn’t expect to be the one to make him sad for his companions

skk: i'm sorry…. nocti….

nocti: HEY! don’t say such depressing things to me so quickly

nocti then enters a panicked state of not knowing what to do cause skk is poisoned and there's no known cure for it

nocti gritted his teeth. he didn't even know how to give first aid. he regretted not learning more about first aid from vera before

GOT ME SOBBING, EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED, SHATTERED INTO PIECES

you tell nocti to go help the mayor cause if the mayor dies the town will fall

nocti is in pure disbelief that at a time like this you're more worried about someone else and he refused to leave you here

after some reassuring nocti goes ahead and takes care of what's going on in town and immediately after checks if you’re still ok

he hears a painful scream in his communication device and he SPRINTS back to where you are and finds both vera and 21 there attempting to take care of you

21 comments on how nocti is a lot more powerful ITS BECAUSE HIS LOVER IS DYING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AND HE WANTS TO SAVE THEM BUT DOESN'T KNOW HOW

there’s an encounter with the purifying force, wanting nocti dead since they believe he’s the cause of their aircraft crashing

you tell them that it isn’t his fault and after essentially a stare down between the purifying force and cerberus, the purifying force leaves you all alone since they trust you (thank the overlords for you working with them before and gaining a good work relationship)

you, cerberus, max, and vann think of a plan on what to do next now that you all know where nigel might be located

nocti will go and fight nigel alone since it’s the reason he even came here in the first place while the rest defend the town

you establish a m.i.n.d. connection with nocti, which in turn gives him the poison as well since you’re basically almost a walking corpse at this point

the fact that nocti, with NO hesitation, established a connection with you makes it LOUD AND CLEAR that he will stick with you no matter what even if it leads to his death

cue another hand holding scene, and nocti leaves

vera and 21 get very VERY concerned over your health, yet you’re still adamant about keeping the connection with nocti

21: they want to keep a deep m.i.n.d connection w nocti

vera: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! if you're deeply connected, your consciousness will be completely bound to him…. if he dies, you also die

skk: he… needs….. me…..

this is LITERALLY a moment where one cares more about their partner THAN THEIR OWN WELL-BEING ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

transitioning over to nocti’s side, he finally confronts nigel

nigel mentions that in order to cure the commandant he needs to be killed, but just HEARING that name come out of his mouth made nocti more full of rage than he’s ever had

this part alone SCREAMED nocti being like "you do NOT have the right to say my partner's name after what you did to them, i am no longer doing this for myself, i'm doing this FOR THEM"

so anyways nocti gets his ass beat 💀💀, nigel lecturing him that he’s still confused and is only driven by anger

the cutscene if you wanna watch it

"commandant… you must be disappointed with me…. damn it… are you mad at me? haha.. me too…. leave everything to me from now on. let’s make that bastard taste our true wrath, partner..."

“i can’t die here yet…. my partner is still waiting for me to come back.”

similar to 21's comment earlier, nigel notices how nocti's steps aren't noisy and chaotic anymore, but steady, firm, and powerful now BECAUSE HIS PARTNER IS ROOTING FOR HIM TO WIN AND HE NEEDED THAT BOOST OF ENCOURAGEMENT... THAT'S WHY YOU WERE SO ADAMANT WITH KEEPING A M.I.N.D. CONNECTION WITH NOCTI

this whole fight scene had me SCREAMING

“my partner and i will use all our strength… to beat you to pieces”

if you still haven’t gotten it DO YOU SEE IT NOW??? HIS MAN IS FULLY DRIVEN TO HIS FULL POTENTIAL BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO.. NO... NEEDS TO COME BACK TO YOU

nocti wins and nigel essentially retreats but with a new found respect for his brother

but before he retreats he asks nocti the same question he asked you: what’s the difference between humans and constructs

he gives his own answer and guesses yours (since he was rather confident enough with knowing a lot on how you think) and it boils down to them having the same answer but different font

the place nocti and nigel were fighting in collapses, forcing nocti to leave and never see nigel again

you and nocti are back in the hotel room recovering, and a few locals come in to beg nocti to stay and not go back to babylonia

“but i made a promise with my partner, i want to return to cerberus in a dignified manner…”

after more silly banter everyone leaves you and nocti alone to rest, but neither of you can sleep

nocti brings up the question nigel asked him, and you gave him your actual answer, which is pretty close to what he guessed

nocti: haha… just as i thought, i know you better

skk: but maybe i know you better. for example, what you look like when you’re drunk

nocti: WHAT?! DID I DO ANYTHING WEIRD WHEN I WAS DRUNK???

skk: forget it, stop talking, i’m sleepy

nocti: HEY!! TELL ME NOW!!!!

he’s a literal blushing mess after you told him you saw him drunk

your honor this is literally a newly wed couple

gotta of course mention his affection story so read here for a summary of that as well

the way he ONLY uses the best quality and probably most expensive ingredients to make your food

nocti giving a damn about this whole pancake thing only because YOU care

LIKE HE'S PUTTING HIS PREFERENCES ASIDE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

MORE HAND HOLDINGGG this time in the form of you helping him mold the pancake shape +bonus nocti blushing

both literally wanting to do the whole working at a bar thing together again in the future that is like PEAK ENDGAME for their marriage

+bonus boss being supportive and naming the new drink and dish that was made after you and nocti

the whole affection story just very clearly and vividly plays out nocti and skk working together flawlessly at the bar like their chemistry was SO GOOD !!!!

very sorry for any grammar errors i'm very hyperfixated on him rn and i needed to scream about it somewhere

anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk i will now think of nocti in a wedding dress /hj

[garndiddlious]

made a big compilation of Evil Morty and Morty Prime SORTA being friends (along with foreshadowed friendship). im not too keen on how tumblr works so i have no idea if any of this is gonna make sense, but just bare with me. also, for the sake of not typing the same names a billion times, EM = evil morty and MP = morty prime.

first off, just to start, this is a little frame that always stuck with me. EM is the first morty MP has actually met, so of course he’s curious about another version of himself.

and next is the BIGGG video. im not going to force you to watch it, so ill state my thoughts on it first and you can watch if you want to analyze more.

PART ONE aka when EM lead MP to the morty room

- to start, MP is obviously trying to make conversation

- EM is keeping that together cold, calm character probably to both not be forced to elaborate and to control evil rick

- MP states his ideas of rick, showing rebellion unlike other mortys. EM obviously took this to heart, even if he didn’t let MP leave.

- that strange stare EM gives MP

PART TWO aka when EM talks about “sellout mortys” (didn’t add the whole montage)

- EM refers to MP as a “sellout” morty, which is obviously an insult

- however he states he can’t hate him for it due to most mortys being “bred for it”

- gives MP the chance to see his issues with rick more clearly

PART THREE aka when both call rick a liar

- not much to say, just that they’re both in agreement and they jinxed eachother which is like totally a friend thing (im coping)

PART FOUR aka when EM states how MP probably relates to him

- it’s true, MP has been “evil” countless times

- EM puts enough ideas in his head where MP’s relationship with rick truly starts to get more shakey

PART FIVE aka when EM offers MP to come with

- do i even need to explain? he offers to MP that he’ll let him come, completely unmalicious

- even though EM says that second seat was a toilet, he still offered to let him come nonetheless

- MP literally calls EM cool

PART SIX aka when MP “tees up” EM

- once again not much to say, other than EM making snide remarks to rick and MP being curious as always

PART SEVEN aka MP and EM going into the same “fighting room”

- i know it’s realistically what would happen since the two mortys count as one rick in the machine, however they were still paired up so

PART EIGHT aka when EM kills nice rick

- EM could’ve literally killed MP so easily but he didnt

- kills nice rick once he admits he was just going to use the two, once again not a lot to say but EM protecting MP and himself in a way

PART NINE aka “the worst turd is a pizza”

- MP as always attempting to engage in casual conversation with EM

PART TEN aka when MP steps into EM’s portal

- there’s not a whole lot in the beginning, just EM explaining to MP stuff

- EM saying how he “doesn’t care” if MP comes or not

- the portal closing on MP, causing EM to immediately open the portal back up to once again offer to let him join

- morty explaining his dork ass reason, EM letting him come with

- although there’s probably a reason, EM acting like he doesn’t gaf and then opening up the portal 5 seconds later just to let morty enter. istg.

PART ELEVEN aka EM and MP regrouping with rick

- once again EM acting like he doesn’t really care, definitely not letting rick know he gave MP a second chance to come with

PART TWELVE aka “rick’s cheering section”

- EM stating “WE brought ourselves”

- really giving MP those free will points, defending both him and MP

PART THIRTEEN aka MP using a rick prime bot to save evil morty

- i don’t think i need to elaborate much, MP literally saves EM

- does the two fingers salute to EM, probably saying “you can trust me”

PART FOURTEEN aka EM doing a body swap thing

- we really don’t know enough about what EM actually did to figure this out

- it could be that they completely bodyswapped and EM was just in MP’s body now, but then he wouldn’t have his wires

- either way, they swapped shirts, see that in whatever way you want, friendship love, sibling love, bromantic, romantic, whatever way you view their relationship

- EM thanks MP, it’s hard to tell if it’s sarcastic or not because EM is always flat toned

PART FIFTEEN aka EM blows up the omega device

- MP, as usual, trying to engage in casual conversation

- lets EM know about the pretty visual, really trying to connect with him

- EM states “THIS didn’t make us friends”, maybe implying something like “THAT could make us friends” in a future season?

CONCLUSION

im full of cope, im practically losing it, but im so certain they’re trying to handle EM’s and MP’s relationship in a way where they aren’t purely acquaintances. and although MP makes him attempts at friendship more obvious, and EM refuses to act like they’re friends, he has almost as many “friendship” like moments on his own. i really hope we don’t have to wait for another season to pass for EM to appear again, he’s become alot more vital, especially since the main threat that we know of (prime rick) has been eliminated. i know the writers are probably gonna be kinda silly and just make EM the main villain, however these last few episodes have been purely to develop the characters rather than the plot, and EM’s and MP’s relationship has so much potential for something fun. i don’t think something like the freaky mortys theory will happen, however there is a lot of room to wiggle around in and develop their relationship, because it will ultimately develop both MP and EM which is definitely what the writers are wanting to do. anyways feel free to use this video, feel free to reblog with your own thoughts and ideas, these are just mine!!

[jikookuntold]

thank you for that, I went down a rabbit hole and needed a level headed person to explain. JM and MY seem really close and I guess I found it more believable than other ships. I absolutely adore JK and JM and I cannot, as a new Army, understand how people cannot see their bond and try and find moments that aren’t there with others, or looks or touches or even in a behind the scenes where they say JM was moaning in Sugas room. It’s so disrespectful of all the members to do this. It grosses me out tbh.

You are weclome, and I appreciate your trust in me. That's true, Jimin and Yoongi are very close, and Jimin has sweet moments with Yoongi just like he does with Namjoon, Hobi or Jin as his other hyungs. But the reason Ymners make up and spread disrespectful lies and misinformation like that, is very clear, and it's Ymn being the side ship for Tkk which has the biggest group of shippers in the fandom. They use Ymn to complete and secure their fantasies, and in one way or another, they need to include Jimin in those fantasies.

But how did we come to this? It's kinda complicated. When you are new in the fandom as a shipper, things are a bit confusing because you are not educated enough to fact-check things, and it's difficult to see what's important as a ship moment and what's not. Unfortunately many shippers take advantage of this confusion and lack of knowledge, and manipulate the newcomers with edited, cropped and altered content or totally twisted narratives.

Every new fan has exprienced this manipulation in some level. Even I, as a Jikooker, had noticed that some of the moments I had watched in compilation videos, were cropped or taken out of context. But I never find anything that was changed in a manipulative way or made out of thin air. I'm not claiming that everything Jikookers say is true, but we can claim that when some misinformation starts to spread, it usually gets corrected and doesn't go on for a long time. Some Jikookers even go overboard with this and start to dismiss the legit moments, and that's why we have a big breed of woke Jikooker, which I don't understand why they bother calling themselves Jikooker, but their wokeness is usually the starting point for the process of leaving.

Anyways, I stopped watching YT analysis and even compilation videos after 2019 and followed everything real-time, but after a while, I realized watching original content is not the only thing you need to do. And there are two other things you need to keep in your mind:

1. Ships and being ship focused all the time, ruins your experience as a fan. If you keep being focused on who stands next to whom, who touches whom, who mentions whom, you can't enjoy the content you are consuming. I'm not saying I don't focus on my ship, because I clearly do it in a deep level, but I try to separate it from my experience as a content consumer, that's the reason I have this blog to organize my thoughts and perceptions on Jikook and it help me not to go down into that rabbit hole.

2. Details matter, but you should not get caught up in them. We pay attention to the details when we review and analyze the moments, but not every detail matters. For example, the date on Jimin's freezer screen was an important and clarifying detail in that content, but JK saying "It's been a while" is an insignificant detail. He could have said it as a mere joke, or refering to the house or maybe just two hours of separation from Jimin is a "while" in JK's dictionary, we don't know. We don't know many things, and we can't judge and analyze everything. Fighting with haters who try to debunk these insignificant details has no use and just gives them the sense of victory they are looking for.

When you try to see things as a whole and stop focusing on irrelevant and insignificant stuff, your mind starts to filter out the unimportant facts and moments and detail, and you don't get insecure or defensive when someone questions or even debunks those details. And what remains, is a collection of special, huge and undeniable facts and moments that spoke by themselves. The level of undeniablity is so high here, that the antis need to use conspiracy theories like fanservice and company force to dismiss them. And I think that's very telling.

[leighsartworks216]

The Viper: Rewritten

Chapter 9

First Chapter - Previous Chapter

Jaskier x gn!Witcher!reader

Heyyyyy soooooo I'm alive. It just took me a while for the Witcher fixation to come back enough to motivate me to work on this again. I still have really cool plans further down the line, I just really struggled with this chapter a lot until I realized I didn't have to use what I'd written before as groundwork at all.

Jaskier may be out of character, idk. I only watched a couple of compilations to get him back in my head

Warnings: mentions of injuries, pain, intimate moments that are not portrayed as intimate, referenced nudity, swearing

Word Count: 2068

Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

The steaming water stung your wounds, just on the verge of being painful and pleasant. Slowly but surely, it eased your tense muscles, washing away the tension crying over your dead brethren brought. Sandalwood and vanilla wafted into your nose.

Your eyes were still raw. You scooped a handful of water and scrubbed at your face, working to remove the evidence of your emotions from recent memory. It was, well, unsettling how easy it was to be human again around the bard. Growing up, strong emotions, outside of pride and joy, were punished until it was beaten into you to conceal them or otherwise forget they existed at all. Of course, back then, you’d taken to hiding them rather than erasing them from your repertoire. Stuldweck had been the only one to keep your secret.

Perhaps it was for the simple fact that Jaskier understood the gruffness of Witchers better than any other mortal on the Continent. He’d never begrudge you that act of intimidation within towns and villages, and you’d dare to say he even welcomed the fact you weren’t as up your ass as Geralt had been.

Or maybe it was all you - the last vestiges of your humanity the mages hadn’t been able to strip away, reaching out with both hands to hold onto someone else.

You could remember the teachings of your mentors, telling you now to get it together, to stop being a fucking rat, and be a viper.

You dunked your head under the water.

These thoughts were bringing you in useless circles, and what did it matter anyhow? Even Geralt knew that to stand completely alone as a Witcher is a lost battle. There should be no need to fight yourself over this.

When you came up, your head felt a mite clearer. But your senses prickled with the sudden awareness of just how quiet the room was. You peeked over your shoulder. The screen divider had been moved just enough to give him some line-of-sight, in case you needed help with your injuries as they were. And just there, eyes affixed to your back, was just the bard that tormented your thoughts.

“I can feel you staring.”

He jolted out of his revelry, blinking and turning away, shaking his head of whatever thoughts were bugging him. You wondered briefly if he was going through a similar war as you; bugged by how fast he put his trust into another Witcher.

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to,” he cleared his throat, “you know, sneak a peek, or anything.”

You hummed. A grin tugged at your lips, tempted to tease him about it. But the notes he began plucking on his lute as a distraction were an obvious insight into his mind. He’d only really played the old songs - those about Geralt, the incredible White Wolf - to make money, never to make anything new. But if he finally found the strength to scribble down some words and notes, it was better, then, to bite your tongue and give the bard the silence needed for his playing.

So you turned back around, and listened to the stuttered melody as you considered what comes next. Your path to Oxenfurt now that you’re in Tridam, the repairs needed to your armor and weapons, the potions you’d need to prepare for the road as well as provisions. As much as your body needed to rest to fully heal, bolstered by potions and mutations as it was, there would be no time for it, and resting would not grant you the coin needed to survive the trip.

If you could get to Crinfrid, you could cut through to Tretogor. It would bypass Vartburg and Drakenborg, towns you could rest and resupply in, but winter wouldn’t wait forever. Then, south west to Rdestowa Laka; it would put you just a few days out from Oxenfurt. Was it the best route? Perhaps not. It left you on the road more often than not, but the sooner you could reach Oxenfurt, the more time Jaskier would have to settle for the coming months.

And what would you do when you get there?

Visions of these moments, of times spent in inns with the bard, chatting and relaxed, flit by. Temptations to live like a human. To sit and watch the snow fall without the burden of wading through the snow to kill wraiths and rotfiends. Humans had holidays, too. Celebrations of winter and enchanting gifts.

Could you really experience that, too?

No, you think. You couldn’t.

Jaskier is humming under his breath as you resign to getting out of the bath. Whatever blood he’d missed while cleaning you in your unconsciousness was well and truly washed away by now, and moping in the steam could only serve you for so long.

You hissed as you pushed yourself forward, the stitches along your spine pulling taught at your skin. Jaskier was up on his feet in a moment.

“Let me help. We really don’t need you hurting yourself any more; my needlework isn’t quite up to snuff.” He appeared at your side, leaned down and guiding your good arm over his shoulders. With a hand at your side, he helped you get to your feet. As soon as you were standing, he grabbed the towel hanging on the room divider and handed it to you, eyes safely averted.

“You ever tried?”

He huffed a laugh as he sat back down on the bed, pointedly looking at the open journal next to him. “On one rather optimistic day, I’d had the brilliant idea of sewing the Countess de Stael a dress.”

You held the towel around you as you padded across the floor to your bags. Clean clothes were a luxury you couldn’t quite manage. The shirt you dragged out smelled like Bayard, and the pants were beginning to fray. But it was always better than marinating in dried blood, and you’re sure Jaskier would like his own clothes back.

“Of course, I had absolutely no idea how to go about making an entire dress, let alone how to sew fabric together.” You carried your clothes back by the tub and shifted the divider so you were hidden from view. He listened to the rustling of fabric, thumbing thoughtlessly at the strings of his lute once more. “By the time I’d ‘finished’, I had what was essentially a potato sack with frills.”

You snorted at the image. “So asking you to patch up my clothes is out of the question, then?”

“Ah, yeah, definitely.”

You push the screen to the side, fully dressed in your black garb, and drop your dirty clothes back in your bag. You begin to toss the white shirt on top of Jaskier’s things, until you remember his more refined tastes. You’d never really given any thought to the state of clothes aside from if they were wearable. Not even in Gorthur Gvaed, when you technically had your own room and clothes to tend to. It was better just to chuck them all somewhere the rats wouldn’t eat through them.

You did your damned best to fold it in a way that made sense. It was shit, you know that. You had no idea what to do with the sleeves. Jaskier chuckled behind you once he realized what you were doing.

“Don’t worry about that, Viper.”

You huffed, tossing the shirt with his stuff. “You can’t sew, and I can’t fold. Good thing we’re not launderers.”

You grabbed your bag off the floor and carried it to the bed. You should patch up your armor, at least. And you were running low on potions. And it’d be a good idea to sharpen your blades; bandits probably banged them up when they tossed all your shit around.

Jaskier sighed as he watched you begin pulling things out and laying them on the bed. “Gods, are all Witchers allergic to rest, or something?” He gestured incredulously to your arm. “You’re injured! Stop,” he pulled your sewing kit away, “pulling more stuff out! You should be resting, healing.”

“I told you, Jask, I don’t rest until a job is done. Now give it back.” You held your hand out for the kit.

That only seemed to spur him on more. “What job?! Taking me to Oxenfurt isn’t- isn’t a job! I’m not even paying you for it!”

You reached for the kit, despite the burning along your spine. “Until you’re there safe, it is a job! Coin or no coin!” He stretched his arm out further, lute and journal forgotten in favor of playing keep away. “Jaskier, give me back my shit!”

“Nah-ah-ah!” His lute slid aside as he climbed further on the bed to keep his hand out of your reach. “Not until you promise to rest!” His eyes lit up with an idea. “I’ll help, even! Just tell me what to do!”

Undeterred, you climbed after him. He knew, despite your wounds, it would not be difficult for you to manhandle him. You could easily grab his arm and wrench it back to you, drag him by an ankle back to your side of the bed. But you didn’t.

“You can’t sew!” You hissed as you climbed over him, straddling his waist and pressing his chest down, reaching over to try grabbing your kit, just inches still out of reach.

“No, but I can do something else! Anything! I’ll- I’ll sharpen your knives-”

“Daggers.”

“Mix potions, anything!” Your hand finally caught the kit and you met his eyes, breathing far heavier than you should be. You really were out of fighting form, no matter how much you hated to admit it. His big, blue eyes pleaded up at you. “Please? Let me be useful.”

You stared for a hard moment. Your eyes were orange around the edges. He’d never noticed before. You sighed. “Fine.” He lit up.

“Really?”

You tugged the kit out of his hand and began the effort of sitting up. Which, unsurprisingly, hurt far worse than crawling over him to begin with. You grit your teeth and forced yourself up anyway, Jaskier’s hands suddenly finding your waist to support you up.

“Shit. Probably not the best I could have done.” He grimaced apologetically as you rolled yourself off of him to sit on the edge of the bed.

“No, probably not,” you grunted. You carefully felt along your spine, testing the injury with featherlight touches. It was nowhere near as painful as it could be, but that wasn’t saying much when it already felt like some beast was trying to rip you open with a thousand needle-like talons.

He scootched to sit down beside you. He felt helpless in all this. Having to watch as you suffer through injuries gathered to save both your skins, when all he had to show for it was a healing scratch and immense guilt. “Would that flower mixture-thing, whatever it was, would that help?” He gestured holding the small container in his hand.

“A bit, but not enough to bother.” You sat still for another moment before you seemed to push it all back far enough to ignore, opening your eyes again and turning toward your bag. “I don’t have a whole lot you can do to help me; I’ve just gotten used to doing it all alone.”

“Hey, you promised.”

You waved his worry away. “I know.” You looked at all the jars and herbs crammed inside, at the whetstone in its own pocket. Did you trust Jaskier enough to properly sharpen your weapons?

…

Well…

No.

You turn toward him, leveling him with a serious look. “If I show you forbidden knowledge that would get me killed if any other Witchers found out I’d done so, do you swear on your life not to ever share that knowledge?”

He blinked at you. “Wha- Really? You want to give me forbidden knowledge?” He scoffed when you didn’t show any signs of this being a joke. “Are you sure that’s the best idea?”

“That depends. Would you keep it a secret?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Even if you were being tortured for it?”

“Ye- Tortured?! What kind of fucking information is this?!”

“Jaskier! Would you?”

“Yes, fine, alright! I won’t tell a bloody soul!”

“Good.” You turned back to your bag and began pulling out jars of all sorts of things. “I’m gonna teach you how to make Witcher potions.”

---

Tag List:

@writeawaythepain @sleepyqueerenergy @adozenforks @plaguedoctorsnake @solomonssimp @cool-ontherun-world @emiemiemiii @lynnlovesthestars @bongwaterflavoredgatorade @jlnoodles

[human-sweater-vest]

hi welcome back to me once again screaming about our flag means death and its use of gnossienne no. 5. heads up for spoilers for the first three episodes of season two and each episode the theme pops up in going forward.

cool cool cool. so it's been established that gnossienne no. 5 is the love theme for ed and stede as it was used during many of the pivotal moments of their relationship in season one. I'll do a brief recap but for a post breaking that down more see this bad boy.

the main thing with my previous analysis is that the instruments and tone changed each time the song came in, sometimes being loud and brash, other times being a whisper in the back of a quiet realization. therefore, I was so incredibly excited to see if/when/how it made its reappearance in season two. below is a compilation I'll update with each episode .

episode one and two don't have any use of it as far as I caught on my first watch through. please let me know if you catch it!

episode three:

5:40 - when stede boards the revenge for the first time after ed destroys it. he's looking for his love and it makes sense that this would be our first instance of the song in the season so far. however, the slow and almost hesitant piano of the song is cut off by the sheer destruction of the ship. we know how much the revenge means to stede, it was his lifeline and his home and the place he and ed found their love for each other. naturally it being destroyed would halt the music. it's also fun that we make it all the way to episode three without it appearing because that's when ed makes his first appearance in season one. good symmetry. good soup.

12:35 - when stede enters the captain's quarters alone to clean up the daggers the song comes in and we hear the iconic melody instead of just the notes leading up to it. he's fully allowing himself to stew in the mess the man he loves has made and how he's a direct cause of it. the main part starts as the camera shifts to a dagger right before stede pulls it out, perhaps indicating that their love has wounded them. he knows that ed is gone but the crew hasn't revealed where or why. the music then ends on a sour note and cuts out as izzy starts to speak, breaking the spell as he's confronted with the reality of one of the people who has been both complicit and victimized by ed's breakdown.

16:06 - as stede admits to zheng yi sao that he feels like he's the cause of ed's destructive streak and that he let him down, the theme once again comes in, this time softer than the previous two appearances in the episode. notably it's also piano, keeping in line the same tonal theme of simplicity and hesitance. it once again runs its course until an interruption happens with auntie bursting in to announce that she found "the jackpot" aka a dying ed stored in the secret room.

episode four:

00:00 - right at the start as ed is coming back to life. it ends abruptly as ed hits stede in the face, showing us that things aren't going to be all lovey dovey.

26:05 - it starts as ed says "buttons, people don't change" (before buttons turns into a seagull, proving this to be false). this is a really important one for several reasons. the first of which being that stede has once again left him alone in the woods, but this time he comes back for ed. ed is confronted with change, assured by it, things can be better. the second and infinitely more exciting to me, is the fact that this version is played on the harpsichord. where did we hear the harpsichord version last? the bathtub scene of season one, when ed decides to change for the first time. when he trusts stede to change with him.

episode five:

26:03- "you wear fine things well" part two. y'all. Y'ALL. it's the same exact version as the first time this scene happened. the critical difference is that they're experiencing it as reality and not a lovestruck delusion. they're flawed and fucked up and the moon isn't as full but the song is still the same. they're still in love.

episode eight:

12:10 - "I feel it in my soul, a love like ours can't disappear in an instant" Y'ALL I FUCKING CALLED IT I KNEW WE'D GET A BIGGER ORCHESTRATION OF THE SONG. we have strings as well as the piano and the theme is joyful and beautiful and reflecting that ed finally admits to himself that he loves stede. this is it. I'm buying dinner and going feral as my original tags promised. y'all this season was a doozy and you can best believe that if we get a season three I will be losing my noodle on how they decide to orchestrate the final usage of this song.

[eclecticpagann]

Before we dive in, a heads-up: my posts can get a bit lengthy. But if you’re here for the journey, I’m grateful to have you along for the ride.

By now, you probably know I treat this blog as a bit of a personal journal. I love sharing my experiences because, in the end, maybe they’ll help someone else on their own path.

So, here we are—another update following yesterday’s post. I was so thrilled that someone understood what I’ve been going through that I just jumped right in without telling the whole story. Today, I’m here to fill in the gaps.

A little background about me—vulnerability included. My health, both mental and physical, isn’t always the best. I’ve had lifelong struggles with motivation (as I once shared in a post about Apollo), and that’s made keeping my home in order a real challenge. Living with chronic illness and dealing with mental dips has been frustrating, especially when I can’t keep up with the basic things I want to do, like cleaning.

That brings us back to the experience I mentioned yesterday. I left out a small detail initially, thinking it wasn’t significant, but here we go. I had been talking to Hel’s candle, seeking some kind of clarity, and naturally, I turned to something I trust deeply: my tarot deck.

With my mind racing at the thought of Hel reaching out, I struggled to form a question. Finally, I landed on something along the lines of, What am I experiencing in this connection?

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

The cards seemed to play along, either staying perfectly in place or scattering when my fingers fumbled. Heart pounding, I shuffled again.

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

Finally, a single card jumped out: Ten of Swords, Reversed. I felt a pang of nerves—we all know that swords can be intense. Still, I grabbed my guidebook, a precious one my mother wrote. She compiled meanings from her own journey, blending research and intuition. Her insight has guided me through so many readings.

With shaky fingers, I flipped to the page. The reversed Ten of Swords was full of healing—specifically, “Steady improvement in health and an indication that any losses are in the past.” At the time, it didn’t make much sense in the context of Hel, so I dismissed it, thinking maybe it was a misdraw.

But this morning, I woke up feeling…different. No nausea, no headache, none of the pain that usually plagues me. I felt strong, ready to tackle the cleaning I’d been putting off. I haven’t felt this good in ages. I got to work, making a dent in my to-do list, taking breaks but feeling genuinely fulfilled.

And then it clicked. Hel was showing me that I’d have the strength I needed, guiding me to reclaim some control over my life. It was her nudge to get up and take action. She was helping me.

So, of course, I thanked her in every way I could think of. I picked a fresh mum from my garden for her altar (and one for Aphrodite, because fairness is everything). I promised Hel I’d set up her altar before Apollo’s—a promise I’m genuinely excited to keep. I’ve never felt this kind of connection to a deity, not even Aphrodite reached out in my lowest moments quite like this.

I’ll admit, though, a part of me still questions if it’s really her. But my mom’s friend, who has an incredible gift for this kind of sensing, might be able to help confirm it. He once saw Freya watching over my mom without knowing she’d felt drawn to her, so I feel reassured in asking.

If you have gotten this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate each of you who has joined me on this wild, unfolding journey.

[torithehoshi]

CCCC Digital Doodle Dump - Oct 2023

Right - bear with me. Due to the sheer amount of digital doodles I have (and yes, I am emphasizing digital for a reason) and the amount of thoughts I have didn't make posting them separately feel right so I'm trying a different format for this.

The TLDR is, I had a lot of fun drawing CCCC related things last month. And y'all may as well be prepared for the long-run with me. My main goal was to get used to drawing HMS in my style (mostly hair and little design things based on my interpretations) and it's still something that'll be changing? But it's cool to see how things have changed and I'd like to share them.

Right - with that out of the way. Everything's under the Read More due to the sheer amount of text.

Second First attempt at drawing the trio in my style - and you can especially tell with the little notes I have (trust me - there's a version with even more notes).

A lot of my references were from the videos, especially Light & Night as well as the instrumental album cover, and fan interpretations I've seen that I liked and wanted to give a shot at (primarily Mind's mechanical hands/arms were from seeing @/maybedr3am's design) and some of my own interpretations or thoughts (but I wouldn't be surprised if some of those mixes with fan interpretations. Most of them I can't recall for the life of me except Heart having sharp teeth. I know others have done it - I just hadn't at the time seen a lot). But for the most part, there is a lot of me getting used to drawing hair specifically since I wanted them all to look somewhat different and it was good to practice that.

Some of these notes do not make sense to me right now - and I doubt they made sense at the time tbh (looking at that one near Soul)

While I much preferred starting primarily going off of the videos, Mind was an exception. ...Accidentally. I struggled really hard with him and still do so that note is funny in hindsight. I liked the robot/android-esque (?) angle/reference to 'mechanical hands' folks went with but forgot I don't draw robots much. It was frustrating me and in that time, I gave him snake bites to, as I say in the notes, mirror screws. ... And now they're just part of my Mind design because I like them too much.

Also!! I mentioned that I have a version with a lot more notes (and a different attempt at Mind I hated). I didn't really want a bunch of doodles of my sona around, so this version is for somewhat easier reading. It also left me with extra space for one more thing and I was listening to Dream so, a doodle based off the last verse it was! (I love that song, it's so good)

Second one which is a compilation of a bunch of different doodle sheets I did!! These are ones I really liked and also were mostly finished. But also each of the sheets (which is an amalgamation of three) were done at different times which you can see in my indecisiveness in what I liked in making Mind look more robotic bar just the arms and the one doodle where the hair sticking a top of Heart's head changes.

Soul, surprisingly, changes very little bar me not being able to decide if he'll have that accessory or not. Also me being stupid inconsistent with remembering to color in his hands (his whole body has that split color).

Anyways - like three of these are meme/shitpost adjacent. You'll also see me trying to think about how to incorporate the crown to Mind's design since I hadn't really tried - but I've since moved it to post-Cacophony or post-Light design ideas/headcanons. I like the hairpin idea a lot. (Note: In this headcanon, Heart also has something but it's a bracelet and... there's a lack of hands in this so... yeah. Mind made it) Also me doing a thing I like to just give random new outfits when drawing a character and... Heart's the one I had the most fun drawing.

The only completely separate one! Mostly 'cause I already had it set to be separate.

It's a height headcanon thing I drew to visualize things for myself since I'm not the best with height. All it is, is that I think they're all the same height based off of what CJ said in the Medium Q&A. But then you have little details like Mind wearing platform shoes that basically make him 6'0" and Soul slouching a lot making him "the shortest". (Also hi completely human Mind design)

This was also originally done on the same doodle sheet where the "Fuck it we ball" one was on btw. Time wise, that was before I started changing how I drew the little hair sticking out on Heart's head which - speaking of...

Despite still drawing them interacting, I started to make clip files to practice drawing them on their own. I was already kind of doing that traditionally and I thought this would be a good way to get me to focus on one of the members. Especially since drawing with my tablet pen and pencil feels different but especially with these three.

Also - focusing on them individually felt like a good way to get used to how I draw them overall. I have one for Soul and Mind now, but not at the time. Idk if I'll share more of those later unless I can format them like actual reference sheets.

Fundamentally, this serves the same purpose as the first sheet. Trying out a bunch of things, just letting my hand... draw and seeing what I like and don't. Maybe even noting some little actions that I see myself drawing them doing (like the hands balled up in fists a lot). Also! It explains why I changed the shape of the hair at the top! I think the heart shape is cute - but as I did it more, I found with me trying to make his bangs look like a heart... just for me and my style specifically, it started to feel much. But then I had another idea in making it a bit more cartoon-y, which was the kind of circle/halo shape to create an angel motif and it fit well with how I see Heart. So that's how it is now!

It's actually fascinating seeing that I suddenly started changing how I drew his hair? I started this after making this for the record (which now I remember - I referenced these), and something just... changed. I don't like it considering I was actively trying to draw curls. I have a better grasp on it now though - I think.

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Anyways - that's everything! Uh - thanks for reading all my ramblings if you did. I have no idea if I'll format any future art dumps/doodle dumps like this again but we'll see. Doing this made me notice both advantages and disadvantages to this so... It'll really depend if I have the same amount to say, haha.