#going ham

[gargoyl3city]

Anotha

[ap-sadistics]

shes in

[undead-knick-knack]

The Stormlord rolling up on Aeor

[narcoticwriter]

I'm Finally Breaking My Silence.

I can't take it anymore. Someone has to know about this. It's been years since the realization dawned on me and years since I've kept my lips sealed, but I can bear it no longer.

It makes no fucking sense how the tall Genshin women have heels.

This is a meme, but I'm also on something else entirely. Maybe it's delusion.

I don't care if it's for the fanservice, I don't care if it's hot, and I certainly don't care if people like it because it makes no sense whatsoever.

I don't know how people can run around in varying landscapes and roads on heels. I don't know how the heel itself would survive such treatment. And I don't know how the wearer, no matter how skilled, would not trip and fall on their ass.

Some instances can be afforded more forgiveness than others, but this will not stop me from compiling a list of how I feel about them individually and as people:

Actual Insanity -

Beidou: The Alcor is a wooden boat. One day, that heel is slipping through a small hole in the floor, snapping off, and sending her careening across the starboard. Someone's going to laugh. And then they will be tossed into the brine before being pulled back out and promptly begging for forgiveness. I cry.

Jean: The Gunnhildrs are masochists. The pain is worth it for Mondstadt, as always. How does she do it, running around everywhere and carrying the Knights of Favonius on her back? There's no way that she doesn't kick off the boots while sitting at her desk when it becomes too much to bear.

Dehya: When she says that she wants to slay on the battlefield as much as her looks, I did not think that the shoes would also be a thing to consider. And in sand? Are you mad? Those heels are sinking. No wonder her burst cancels when she jumps. Imagine having to rework your precarious footing every single time.

Yelan: This sick woman unironically likes it. She probably enjoys the sensation of pain every single time it becomes borderline pleasurable. It doesn't help that she looks forward to it being treated too. Herbalist Gui is getting really sick of having to wrap her feet in gauze after slathering it with medicinal foot cream.

Rosaria: I don't know if she's capable of caring anymore, actually. She doesn't seem to process this the same. The woman has an aesthetic to commit to and she doesn't do anything halfway, including her fit. She says she doesn't get drunk, but you know damn well that it and the nicotine numb the pain.

Eula: Anyone who says that they can do reconnaissance work and wear those things is lying, and Eula Lawrence is no exception to this rule. To add insult to injury, she also has spurs on them. Spurs on those beasts of shoes. Respectfully, she needs to twist her ankle and be put on bedrest for the day, so she can think about it.

Candace: I can't believe that this mentally brought me to my fucking knees. How dare you? You live in an area that is mostly sand and dust! You go out in the night and kill things! You're constantly out and about taking care of things! WHY ARE YOU IN SUCH HIGH HEELS?!?

Shenhe: (head in hands) I don't even know if she knows that this isn't normal to wear. I'm going to Cloud Retainer's domain and demanding that she be put in something that makes more sense. She lives in the mountains for Archon's sake! She may not act entirely human, but trust me, she is one at the end of the day.

It Makes Some Sense -

Kujou Sara: She's won, actually. Geta are allegedly much more comfortable to wear than heels. She slays, stays stylish, and isn't suffering while doing so. Good for her, because this is one of the only wins she has in a long, long list of L's, mostly attributed to Yae Miko if you take the time to really look at it.

Lisa: Is she really going to be running around all that much? No! Because she has her little helpers to go around and do things for her. And even if she has to go around by herself, she does so at a rate that isn't breakneck speed. Also, I personally believe that she has some potions and enhancements to help out with it.

Ningguang: She barely gets a pass. Barely. I personally don't believe she takes that walk around the pier every day. It's every other day at the most consistent. At every other function, you can trust that she has a seat and that she's not on her feet. She can afford to have such accommodation.

Raiden Shogun: If her body wasn't a puppet that she made for herself, I would absolutely put her in the other category. She absolutely made sure that she wouldn't feel pain while wearing those things and it shows with how she's able to move like she does in combat.

Yae Miko: I won't call it foul and say that since she can shift into a kitsune form, she's not going into this category, but provide the proof in other ways. Do you really see her going anywhere in a hurry? Precisely the point. She could probably get away with people carrying her places.

[AAAAAA] -

Arlecchino: I have no words for the atrocity that is those heels. None at all. If I think about them too much, I'll start frothing at the mouth, and not in any good way.

Conclusion - My heart weeps prematurely for Clorinde and Navia. Fontainian fashion can kiss my ass. I mourn their feet.

[tiganas]

Al Pacino chewing the scenery in Dick Tracy (1990)

[spacevixenmusic]

Source: ThunderCats [2011]

[wouldyourfavepaychildsupport]

Would "going ham" pay child support?

Source

[gardenerer100]

[frogmascquerade]

and when ruby sunday's birth mother is revealed to be petronella osgood? What will we do then?

[medusablackstar]

locking tf IN AND STAYING LOCKED.

[michaelworthy25]

HAM On Cheat Day

[monotcchi]

EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU TO KUI-SENSEI FOR THE HAPPY NEW YURI!!!

[thoodleoo]

there are very few ancient artifacts that make me more emotional than roman tombstones that thank the reader for stopping by and wish them well. there's simply something so sweet and gentle to me about imagining a traveler stopping along the road to read someone's final dedication and being sent away with the blessings of a thankful ghost

[narcoticwriter]

I Have A Mouth And I Will Scream With It. (The Second Installment)

The first one.

You know, you would think that me complaining about something would have something done about it, but as the sole torch in the darkness, I alone am alight and it is not nearly enough. So I can only declare into the void of character design and lack of common sense once again:

It still makes no fucking sense how the tall Genshin women have heels.

After Fontaine and now Natlan, I can only crumple to my knees and weep. Lament, even. Why, Hoyoverse? Why are you averse to sensible footwear? Surely you're all competent enough to put boots on the characters where boots are warranted if not required? Amber exists, for crying out loud! You can make it work!

Every single character here is qualified for a full display of clownery and no exceptions can be made.

Insanity -

Navia: Demoiselle, forget the ten-meter hat that you wanted to commission, you cannot be serious about your footwear. And no, you cannot just make your employees carry you. I know that Silver and Melus would do it without hesitation, but they're not here to do that anymore and you have to stand on your own two, heeled feet. And be honest folks, do you really think that Navia's not the type to twist and sprain her ankle in a moment of hasty stepping? If anything, commission Chiori for stylish footwear that makes sense, she could probably do it for you for a discount, too.

Clorinde: You're expecting me to believe that this woman actually goes hunting in those damn things? Seriously? I know that she's capable of a lot of physical feats, but this being one of them is a stretch to even my imagination, skirt aside. Not only would this require a profound sense of balance and spatial awareness, but it would also see Clorinde as a genuine class unto herself and while she is already, I'm not inclined to see that extend to her feet. But hey, that work-life balance isn't for nothing! She can actually rest her feet if she gets a moment to herself at least!

Xianyun: I don't care how old you are, how often you're not in that form, or how specialized your entire hobby is, those heels are unnecessary. It would genuinely look better if you had flats on. Yes, yes, I know that she's a crane and all and that heels would make sense, but you think her legs aren't long enough already?

Arlecchino: She killed a man with those shoes and I had to fight to not projectile vomit when I saw it happen. She's full of nuance, complications, and contradicting beliefs, a decent character overall story-wise, but for this, she sickens me. If I say anything more, I may lose my mind.

Xilonen: I want to cry. Genuinely. Stilettos? "But Narky, she skates-" I'm not talking about her skates, I'm talking about her phlogiston-adhesive stilettos and I hate them. Hoyoverse, she's a laid-back jaguar gal who won't move if she can help it and would rather lounge around on her free time, put her in some fucking sandals if not the pair of fluffy slippers that she deserves.

Chasca: I know that some people have a bone to pick with her design-wise, but I don't care about that right now. I care about what's on her feet and what are on her feet are abhorrent. The only peace she's keeping isn't mine but everyone who has been on the receiving end of her fists. Hell, she's probably used her heels to keep the peace at some point.

Mavuika: Unironically, her entire fit would look better if she just had regular shoes on. Like, you can keep the basic look of the heels, but if they were more akin to boots with some defined soles, it could have gone hard. But alas, Hoyoverse has a quota to meet and genuinely good designs for footwear be damned. And please note that I have not gone into how an Archon of war has heels. Be for real, devs. Be for fucking real.

Bonus:

Skirk: If I had heels for feet, I would have chopped them off. That is all.

Conclusion: I have the opposite of a foot kink and I don't know what that means nor do I want to find out.

[tiganas]

There is ONE Al Pacino - Dick Tracy (1990)