#truly depressed but hot
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i need to get back on my bullshit and write sappy purple gfs
#also this has nothing to do with raritwi#but i just glanced at myself in the mirror and i look GOOD#truly depressed but hot#rarity would be proud#its all for u girlie
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random throwback to fabio's response to casey saying he should've been black flagged for the whole open leathers situation
#'he is at home and he likes to fish' is truly superb#//#brr brr#heretic tag#current tag#i was reminded of this in a very roundabout way... seeing a social media graphic celebrating fabio making q2#which is like. yes that's nice. but that's also inherently extremely depressing lbr#and i was kinda thinking how... look obviously people don't ignore it and yes the novelty has worn off after last year#but it feels like what's happened to fabio should STILL be getting more attention than it is. like it is a major injustice#that also no past stars of the sport are regularly having hot takes about! they mostly just ignore him!#i do sometimes link casey and fabio in my head. roughly the same age gap to the all-time-great hazing them during their rookie seasons#the only riders within their manufacturers able to wring performance out of their bikes over the course of several seasons#who suffered a competitive decline as their manufacturers went the wrong way#now obviously casey's 2010 is nowhere close to as abysmal as fabio's 2024 but. y'know. and at least casey got to leave for pastures greener#anyway given all that. it is funny that like their one significant interaction is fabio dismissing casey as a fisher#which ironically is of course a deeply casey line. casey had a whole thing about how retired riders should maybe know to stfu#“i have seen the real face of some with whom i had a good relationship” EXTREMELY casey line#and thus the cycle of life continues#(though casey was obviously right here lol)#ofc the main difference between the pair of them is that fabio at heart is a lover and casey is. not that
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took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.
#i just wanted to have a good time and not rot in bed for once on my work free weekend but of course my brain can’t let that happen#it was such a lovely day actually the weather was sunny and windy it wasn’t too hot or cold ideal weather to stroll through the city#i had delicious food and found some comfortable clothes but at the end of the day i just felt so empty and worn out#seeing all these couples and friend groups and families and i’m still all by myself after so many years#tbh i’m even lonelier now than i was 10 years ago back then i at least had a few friends#idk what i’m doing with my life tbh.. i just want to be happy but even when i take myself on a cute little date i end up feeling miserable#bc it just hits me how truly lonely i am#i fear i’m incapable of forming any genuine relationships anymore bc i had so many bad experiences that i just stopped trying to connect..#with anyone.. even though i crave community friendship companionship and love i completely shut myself off from the world#i’m not even sure what i’m trying to say with all this.. i wish i knew how to be a person in this world#i wish i could be happy#tbh ever since i got back from my italy vacation i’ve been feeling depressed bc life could be so beautiful if i didn’t have to sacrifice..#almost all of my time for work#the post vacation depression is too real…#realizing you can only spend a very limited time traveling and enjoying yourself bc you have to work most of the time just to afford living#let me stop.. i keep rambling and my thoughts are falling like a waterfall#idk what’s wrong with me… i should have breakfast and put my phone away#sorry to anyone who actually reads all this word vomit#☁️
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That's me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion
#bo katan kryze#the armorer#the mandalorian#nitearmor#bo katan x the armorer#IF SHES YOUR GIRL WHY IS SHE MY THEMATIC PARALLEL#star wars#sw#i rewatched the ep of tbobf that the top cap is from#I forgot quite how bad the armorer was going through it too#at pretty much the same time? same span of time?#girl how long were you kneeling on the edge of that pier staring into space???#I could go on forever at the parallel depressive episodes losing thier respective faith for a hot minute and being dramatic as fuck#but instead I’ll shut up#also listen to BELLSAINT’s cover of losing my religion if you’re looking for a good cover done by a woman#truly a cornerstone of my gay little covers playlist#someone take my devices away from me I’m frothing at the mouth
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*sees a post talking about how farming in the summer must be perfect and sweet and warm*
*laughs in farm worker*
#bro it’s so hot we don’t let the animals out during the daytime#the last couple of days have been nice ish but that’s because we’ve acclimated to 98 degree weather being the worst#as opposed to 89 with a breeze#I’m not saying anymore because it was someone’s art and I respect that#but the cottagecore lifestyle is gonna get you#A. in debt#B. in pain#C. depressed due to the workload#D. Dead#or#E. all of the above#if yall pursue it and don’t recognize the realities behind that lifestyle#that being said may e the artist is from a more circumpolar location than I#and the summers truly aren’t as bad#but judging from how they put ginormous pine trees over a bustling flower garden#I have a feeling it’s an aesthetic wish and not from experience#many flowers often need part time shelter from the sun#but trust me pine trees that large will make it straight up *dark*#also imo plant farming is harder#at least animals can let you know when something is wrong#but thats an opinion
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crazy how back when book!tbosas first came out everyone was discussing and analyzing each character, especially l.g & sejanus, and calling out snow for the selfish narcissist he was... then the movie comes out and everyone's like "oh wait young snow is hot" and suddenly the fact that he's a creepy future fascist that used other people to achieve his own goals goes out the window and the fandom becomes obsessed with young!snow
#also to be v clear I'm not trying to judge anyone I'm truly not#like i think Tom blyth is hot too okay especially when they gave him an Eminem haircut#yeah he is fine as hell I don't disagree with that#but like it really says something about how easily priorities and allegiance and favoritism can shift#Once something is in a prettier and visually appealing package#also like that's so relevant to the theme of the games too#the games are literally the ugliest version of humanity#and snow himself was like 'yeah no one would watch that willingly and enjoy it its extremely depressing'#but when you take something that vile and ghastly and horrific and dress it up#in this pretty package of entertainment and fun and spectacle#(the interviews the costumes the tribute parades the sexualization of pretty district one women)#then suddenly it becomes a thing of laughter and entertainment for the people that aren't harmed by what's happening#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes
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Staring intensely at the unfinished Zenji/MC Chappell Roan short fic sitting in my drafts rn
#it's a song fic but the songs are diagetic#the only song that directly refers to them is 'love me anyways' and I cried writing the scene#will I ever finish it?#truly a mystery upon myself#in my defense I did my best not to diminish the girliepop-ness of my queen chappell roan#but for a fic with a scene about dancing to 'hot to go'#it sure does have fucking depression#tokyo debunkers#zenji kotodama#player character
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Leo dan Brock had been a pleasing diversion. From the neck down, he was astonishing. When she opened his shirt, she had spent a moment just staring. It was as if he was carved from flesh-coloured marble by a sculptor intent on exaggeration. There had been a moment when he lifted her clean off her feet so effortlessly, it felt as if she might never come down…
But in the end, what truly makes a man is above the neck. The instant she made a joke, Orso would have pounced upon it, unfolded and developed it, tossed it back delightfully changed. Leo scarcely realised a joke had been made.
— A Little Hatred by Joe Abercrombie
If his mother could’ve packed his head in a box but left the rest of him available, it would’ve suited Rikke just fine, but he probably didn’t want to hear that.
#a little hatred#joe abercrombie#the age of madness#savine dan glokta#leo dan brock#orso#rikke#orso is the most loveable bastard in the world at the end of this book#just truly wholesome af#he brings her an egg!#truly great scene#but i also love ppl taking one look at leo and being floored twice over by his hotness and his sheer dumbassery#orso is actual like prince charming material though tbqh like he fits in so much charm & goodness despite being so depressed & guilt‐ridden!
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I think I'm slowly starting to understand that me being constantly exhausted is just because I'm finally safe and my body is no longer running on adrenaline and cortisol all the time. I've been fighting against the exhaustion for over a year but I haven't actually allowed myself to rest without feeling guilty.
#personal#I need to learn how to relax and do one thing at a time and to not put myself in so many stressful situations#I'm allowing myself to sleep in#to read more#to start my day with something enjoyable like a walk or a nice long breakfast instead of a stressful to do list#I'm setting boundaries around being available to work on my days off#I'm taking days off of work#I'm allowing myself to just sit and be and read and have a drink at a cafe somewhere#without it being something rushed#I just need to.. REST this year#I've done the self care bit like the meditation and the yoga and the walks but it's always been something#and I've only relaxed while feeling guilty and multi tasking#I just need to really and truly relax; in a way where it's not a to do list#my favorite restaurant is closed on mondays#but they're located at a big lawn with chairs and benches#and I went there after work to just read my book for 2 hours#in the shadow and the breeze on a hot day#and I felt sad depressed but it was actually really nice#making some dinner now (easy dinner) and watching a tv show
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:((((
#no sunlight + xmas coming soon + depression that was already there + dissociated as hell 24/7 truly don't help in not relapsing#it's so hard man. i just wanna get absolutely drunk out of my mind rn#i try to remind myself this is past midnight thoughts and i shouldn't trust them but. they're thoughts im battling all the time#not just on don't trust bad thoughts hours#i hate it heeeere (my brain)#ive been so blurry lately it's so hard totell who's fronting most of the time#it's so fucking awful. i need serious help#but can't afford it / i don't eventhink there's any therapist available around who aren't just psychologist. anyway#who gives a shit#goodnight#will try to remember the entire hot rod movie to try to fall asleep as usual lol night night xoxoxo
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😓✌️
#I'm having a rough time lmao#i know it's at least 75% the seasonal depression now that we're truly into the hot and bright half of the year again#but goddamn#this year there's been a long string of minor to moderate issues piling up and I'm not coping well#i really need to get new blackout curtains#I'm happy for ya'll with standard (winter) SAD i really am#but i do sometimes wish people remembered that reverse SAD is a thing and the extra sun and heat is Very Bad for us#(this is one of many reasons I've been accused of being a vampire though lol)
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some dude I went to high school with (TEN years ago and NEVER spoke to) is in my insta DMs calling me "darling"
the audacity of men never ceases to amaze me
#truly don't have the energy for this rn#also cannot stress enough that this msg comes SIX months after i made a joke post abt seasonal depression that he took way too seriously#this is what happens when you're both too hot and too conflict avoidant to tell someone they're being weird as hell#until it's too late#personal#also he has no idea if I'm available or not - unparalleled levels of confidence in this shot he's taking
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its awesome being into a thing with a small cult(??? ig) following but it also means if you dont like someone's characterization you can outright talk about it or else youll be a dick . Except almost everyone has bad characterization of your favorite character and you're about to kill someone
#aria talkz#not 'almost everyone' thats hyperbole but By god.#but th people w good well thought out interpretations are like... Not often and dont talk or maintag stuff as much.#It makes me so irrationally upset YOU DONT understand him like actually#hop OFF if you cant analyze the story and properly characterize a character without making up an entirely new guy#im always a hater. im also a lover but hate comes out easier#hes not your hot emo maniacal yaoiboy he literally had a depressive spiral jfc#so many ppl reduce my fave into like a hot boy with no personality other than like Vaguely '''yandere''' .#either that or hes just a nothingburger to slap with another character that is a Nothingburger w no personality in these interps#HE HAS SO much to interpret . if you arent insanely autistic ab this guy i dont trust your interpretation of him#like literally thats just how it is ive been analyzing this stupid losers story for nearly 2 years now#you dont understaaaannndddd [ crying sobbing coughing blood ]#he lost everything and his story is a tragedy . He would not use modern stim toys he was prob born in the 90s.#hed feel infantilized if you gave him modern stim toys bc he wants to be cool he wants to be seen as cool ... also thy just dont help him#Rubix cube or stressball at BEST . he uses a weighted blanket he isnt a fucking catboy WHERE is any of this coming from#Like idm projection i think its awesome but it truly is the 'just make an oc' part of that one headcanon chart#if it literally doesnt resemble anything from his canon other than the design anymore.
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"divorced father?" so, you're saying he looks like a depressed dilf? excuse you, vincent already has that position filled.
#( dash commentary. )#( select : cid )#whitexdove#{SCREAMING}#{his brain truly lives in the garbage}#{he saw one hot depressed emo russian vampire dilf and lost every brain cell he ever had}#{he's just like me frfr}
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my seasonal depression is kind of like a game of thrones winter
#every season is either too hot or too cold#will i ever truly be comfortable#still waiting for the seasonal depression to go away#any day now
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Long story short: he was depressed.
Why is Snape's hair always greasy? Is that just for the sake of laughing at him? Or setting the readers up to dislike him? Or is there an actual reason??
#severus snape#something about negleting how you look in that state and also thibking there is kothing good about his looks#so he only worked with the only thing he thought was good in him: his mind and magic#i truly think that man was a high fuctioning depressed person and maybe the fumes? i don't know#but mainly he dislike himself so he keep only his face and hand out of his clothes and he avoid mirrors#been there done that#and bc he was the guy no ine liked so kids made fun of him but there is a post around about 90s men and their greasybhair as hot for example#ethan hawke so i always think he still had some students fans
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