#um anyway yeah genuinely not doin so hot lately im depressed both in the sense of being unmotivated
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some days im legitimately worried a patron is gonna ask me for something stupid and i'm just gonna respond "actually, i want to kill myself"
#im a little tipsy tonight i needed to unwind and i am incapable of relaxing sober so!#healthy coping strategy it is not but i also drink like 4 times a year these days so i think im ok tbh lol#um anyway yeah genuinely not doin so hot lately im depressed both in the sense of being unmotivated#and in the sense of just being really sad all the time#or angry! hate those days#but like the inside of my head is such a horrible place lately#i'm like john green on his podcast being like 'if i said the things i say to myself in my head to another person i'd be arrested'#truly alarming shit happening in there#i just need. to rest. even tho all i do most days is lie in bed. i just need like 3 months to sleep.#oh uh also#cw suicide#kind of lmao but just to be safe#bri babbles
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