#trigger warnings: drugs

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[traumawhomst]

Platonic Yandere Adopted Dad brain rot

(650 words)

Ok but imagine you’re on the run from the law, and you try and duck through someone’s property. You’ve done it a million times before but this time He’s milling about his property and sees you. You of course are ready to book it but you don’t need him tipping off the police of where you are. You nod along politely when he rambles about the local flora while you try and creep away.

You swear you can hear sirens getting closer when he asks you in for a snack if you want it. He asks in that slightly worried dad tone about when you last ate. You agree to come in quickly practically dragging him to his house, trying to ask questions about the wildflowers he was talking about.

You don’t realize that maybe this was a bad idea until you’re feet away from his back door. Maybe following strange men into unknown houses isn’t the safest idea, but you’ve learned to take some risks and forge ahead.

The house is nice, to your surprise. It comfortable but in the way that was made comfortable by the obvious care and love that wore it out. It was clean with soft looking furniture, decorated like something out of a picture book that was about going to your grandparents.

You sit at the kitchen table, (lovingly scuffed up you note) and find yourself relaxing despite everything. He gets you tea and some leftovers from the night before, sitting across the table with his own tea as he watches you trying not to scarf down his food like a wild animal. He gently prods at the fact you look hungry, and your clothes hadn’t been washed in a while. He even pointed out your shoes (that were functional even if they were mostly duck tape at this point). You almost laughed when he asked you if you were safe at home, leaning forward clear worry in his eyes.

You did your best to spin a good believable story, based on small bits of your past, that you knew you looked rough but thankfully you have someone close to help you get back on your feet. You don’t think he buys it at all but he doesn’t press or pry further instead talking about the area since you were going to stay close by. He talks about his kids, his youngest off to college and how he isn’t used to an empty home.

Even though you came here under false pretenses you find yourself enjoying talking to him. He’s the right mix of goofy dad and gentle concern that made it damn near impossible to say no when he offers a shower and clean clothes. You don’t have to of course, he does understand why you wouldn’t want to, but he’d feel so bad if he didn’t at least see if he had a better pair of shoes to wear.

So you cave, taking the offer of a shower and fresh pair of clothes. It’s not like you planned on staying afterward. He manages to find a pair of boots that fit and gives you some used but sturdy clothes to go along with it.

He doesn’t fight this time when you say you have to go, instead offers you one last cup of tea. After everything you can’t find it in yourself to say deny him the last small thing.

You’re not sure what happened but when you stood to finally leave, your legs folded under you and you woke up in a spare room. He fusses over you and asks if should call your relative or anyone to watch over you until you’re healthy again. Stuck in your lie you, agree to stay just until (he’s convinced you to stay) you’re back on your feet again.

[dice-n-slice-bitvh]

Hah! Fuck you single bitch, imagine being single.

I'm dating someone, go fuck yourself.

-✂️

Damn, didn't know that toys counted as a sentient being now- Wait, nevermind, not even a preschool toy would want to date you. Stop with hallucinations before you're sent to the Asylum again.

[doma3681]

Cry of Fear

[neshatriumphs]

Aight. Short lil' sweet, sad, whatever update and shit. Trigger warnings for mental illness fuckery and pills, etc.

The other day, for the first time since 2008 or so, your favorite bitch tried to self terminate. I don't wanna get too graphic but many pills and several pillows were used until I was placed in restraints by somebody hopped up on drugs.

I cried a lot, got sick, flooded with exhaustion and anxiety, went to work, and came home to the openings of a manic phase.

I am in said manic phase this moment. I have been doing housework for over 12 hours and rest nor sleep are on the horizon. I have had some tough conversations, but cannot contact some people, because they will try to send me to a facility.

Also. My rent was almost failed because of my roommate. I am not interested in ending my life, though I am still interested in my life ending.

I simply needed to get it off of my chest. I've been suffering in silence for months, but the past few days were the hardest it's been in years.

If you're still reading, I am both sorry and appreciative.

[hauwunted]

Harry :^)

[critterishere]

A loving god wouldn’t let such a filthy creature exist.

[micamicster]

Everybody gon respect the shooter

Money Trees by Kendrick Lamar vs The Wire (2002-2008)

[only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are]

Redwood Psychiatric Institute - Part 7

MASTERLIST - PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6

CWs: THIS IS A HEAVY ONE PLEASE READ THESE AND PROCEED WITH CAUTION - medical gaslighting, ECT mentions, disordered eating, forced NG tube (nasogastric) intubation, description of forced intubation, IV cannula, forced drugging

"I know you're lying to me." James ground out.

"James, you are ill. You are schizophrenic, and you have trouble telling reality from hallucination. I am your doctor, and I know what is best for you. And right now, what's best is for you to continue your treatments here."

"No, no, none of this is can be real, I'm - my name isn't James, it's- it's-" James stuttered. His hand trembled in the straight jacket he had been restrained in. "Why, why can't I remember?" His unruly dark hair obscured his wide eyes, pupils dilated from the medications.

"You're making things worse for yourself, James. Take a deep breath, and take some more medications. It'll make you feel much better." Doctor Wilson held out a wax paper cup filled with pills.

James shook his head as he backed into the padded wall of his room. "No, get them away from me. AWAY!" He began to scream, and realising he was trapped there rendered his flight instinct inert, he began to rock back and forth on his heels in a desperate attempt to soothe himself.

"James. Calm down. You are being dramatic. You need to take a deep breath."

James began to attempt to tear himself free from the straight jacket to no avail, letting out a frustrated animalistic cry.

"Why-"

"You can take a nice long nap and calm down." Doctor Wilson put the cup down, realising James wasn't going to let himself be soothed easily. The doctor instead pulled a hypodermic syringe out, and the boy began to scream.

"Can I have some assistance?" He called to the orderlies standing outside the cell. They rushed in, effortlessly pinning James to the floor. The orderlies pulled James' pants down to allow the Doctor access to his patient's bottom. Doctor Wilson swiftly jabbed the hypodermic into the muscle, earning him an indignant cry.

"No.. no.." James stuttered, as they pulled away from him. He attempted to pull himself to his feet, but tripped over himself, the drug already leaving him unsteady and out of it.

"Sh, my boy." Doctor Wilson soothed, helping his patient onto the bed. "You can rest now."

James eyelids, with his pupils blown wide, slowly drifted shut as he slumped over on the bed.

----

When James awoke, he decided to make a plan. He didn't trust Doctor Wilson anymore. There were gaps in his memory, and things that just didn't make sense.

And he was sure that his name wasn't really James - but what was it then?

He started by figuring out how to stop his meds. The nurses would check that he had taken them. He started crushing one or two in the side of his jaw, and swallowing the rest. The crushed pills were small enough that they weren't super noticeable, and as long as the nurses didn't see whole pills leftover. Once they left, he'd spit out the crushed tablets. Eliminating one or two of the medications certainly help to clear up his fatigue and drowsiness, but he had other symptoms instead - headaches, fevers, sore eyes. He just had to deal with it. He needed to stop the medication more.

Then, he stopped eating. Just in case the food was also drugged. But he also did it as a protest. He wanted to show Doctor Wilson that he was still in control. It started with a sausage here, some oatmeal there. He would just cut down gradually, and one one would notice until it was too late.

----

"For the last time James, eat up." The orderly, Dan, sighed as the boy pushed his tray away from him.

"'Mm not hungry." James muttered.

"You're being stubborn. You haven't eaten in 4 days. Eat up, or I'll have no choice but to call Doctor Wilson."

James didn't look up. "Don't care."

"Fine. I give up." The orderly picked up the walkie talkie hanging from his white scrubs. "Doctor Wilson, James is refusing to eat again and he's refusing meds."

"Take him to Treatment Room 2. I'll meet you there." The Doctor commanded.

The burly orderly bent down and scooped up James in one arm.

"Dan, please, please don't do this!" James began to sob.

He screamed and kicked, but he was a fairly scrawny young man, and with the lack of food, he was no match for the orderly, who dragged him down the hall with ease.

"Here." The orderly tapped his keycard on the door reader, and pushed the door open, revealing an exam table reminiscent of a dentist's chair. He place James onto the table, and began to strap him using the standard medical restraints, straps at his forehead, wrists, chest, hips, legs and ankles.

"Let me go!!" James screamed, fighting against the restraints with all the strength he had left. "You can't do this!!"

"I'm sorry buddy. It's for your own good." The orderly patted his forehead.

Doctor Wilson stepped into the room and locked eyes with James. Dan immediately backed away, planting himself in the corner of the room.

To the doctor, Jamess looked absolutely feral, his eyes red raw from crying and sleep deprivation, his hair greasy and unkempt, and his frame thin and wiry.

"Oh James, I was so hoping it wouldn't come to this." Doctor Wilson tutted, as he walked up the exam chair. He tilted James' chin, examining the boy's face closer. "You're sneaking off your meds, too." He said - a statement, not a question. "You had been doing so well.. All that progress we've achieved. Gone."

Doctor Wilson sighed, then nodded to the orderly, who began to set up a cart with medical tools and devices. Both men snapped on nitrile gloves and then pulled on medical masks.

"What are you doing?" James asked in a high-pitched tone, clearly frightened.

"Getting you back to health, my boy." Doctor Wilson smiled sadly behind the mask. "Clearly you can't be trusted to do the right thing for yourself."

Dan unpackaged a sterile butterfly needle, which he passed to the Doctor. The orderly wiped down James' elbow with an alcohol wipe, then tied a rubber band above the area. Doctor Wilson brought the needle to James' vein, and the boy whimpered.

"Relax James, you're in good hands." Doctor Wilson hushed, before sliding the needle into the vein.

It smarted, and James winced, looking away as a drop of blood bubbled up from the wound. The Doctor removed the needle and replaced it with tubing, setting up an IV which he hooked to a bag of solution on a stand. James looked to the bag as the solution began to drip through the tubing into his vein.

"What's in there?" He asked weakly.

The Doctor ignored him, and instead began to pull more tubing out from packaging. He held it up and measured it in front of James' face, who squirmed uncomfortably against the strap across his forehead. The Doctor then covered the tip in some kind of gel, held the tube under James' left nostril, and before he could react, the tube was being shoved up his nostril.

Shocked, James began to try to wrest his head away, but the restraints held tight, even as the tube slid further and further up his nose, down the back of his throat, and further, further down. James couldn't help but cough and gag on the tubing, the foreign sensation awfully unwelcome in his system. Even when he thought it couldn't possibly go any further, it did. Finally, finally, it was over. He drew in choked, panicked breaths through his mouth as his body was wracked with silent gasping sobs.

"All done." Doctor Wilson said, his voice void of any care or emotion for his patient. The orderly stepped up and helped the doctor tape the other end of the tube against James' cheek, then attached the tubing to a container sitting on the IV pole, which was filled with an odd liquid. Before long, the liquid began to trickle through the tube and down his nostril. He shuddered at the horrible sensation of the cold liquid sliding down the tube, straight into his stomach.

Doctor Wilson then adjusted the settings on the IV. "Get some sleep. You'll need it."

The Doctor left. Dan stayed for a moment, making sure the Doctor was out of sight before he bent down to whisper in James' ear. "I'm sorry it had to come to that. But you left me with no choice.." He wiped a tear from James' cheek. "Get your rest while you can."

Dan stood, and with a sad sigh, shut the door behind him as he left the room.

James was left in silence. He stared up at the cieling, the odd tear slipping down his cheek, James felt his head becoming cloudy. His limbs felt light, as though they weren't tethered to his body anymore. He was floating. His eyelids however, were heavy as lead. The longer he stared, the harder it was to stay awake, and before long, his consciousness faded and he slipped into darkness.

Taglist:

@jazatronasmr @onthishamsterwheel @bumpthumpwhump @bloodsweatandpotato @whatiswhump @jancameforthewhump @dream-whump @ratking-whump @inkstainsonmyhands12 @halsteadshaw13 @sparrowsage @sowhumpful @whatwhumpcomments @caspersdelusion @everythingsscary

[schsas]

no context im fucking stupid

[emotionaleating]

[dethronetheveil]

Bet on Me- Prologue

Synopsis- When Freya’s band gets invited to be an opener on Bad Omens’s EU tour, she is both thrilled and extremely nervous. Meanwhile, the boys in Bad Omens decide to have some fun, specifically involving Freya and Folio. Some bets are involved and some group conspiring. What will come of Freya’s time with Folio and the boys?

Characters- OC [Freya] x Nick Folio

Word Count- 591

Tag List- @dsireland86 , @foliosgirl [comment if you would like to be tagged in the next part!]

Trigger Warnings: cursing, mention of drugs

——

“Fuck!” Freya cursed between her teeth as she slid her guitar strap from her shoulder. The band had been at this same song for two hours now and for some reason Freya was finding it exceedingly difficult to get the chords right.

Sophia and G looked over at her with sympathetic eyes, but that was the last thing Freya needed right now— to be treated like a wounded animal. She waved her hand in the air and took a seat on the floor by her amp and took a swig of water. The sting of sweat dripping in her eyes informed her that it may be time for a break. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and pulled her hair into a ponytail. She looked back at her mates; Sophia, the lead singer, Georgia or G, the bassist, and Luna, the drummer. They all had followed suit and abandoned their stations for some water.

Freya watched as G made her way across the room and sat next to her. G shoved Freya with her shoulder, “I don’t ever remember you being this shit before,” she remarked teasingly.

“Fuck off, G,” Freya tried her best to sound just as nonchalant, but failed miserably, which was obvious from G’s hands shooting up in surrender.

“Sorry, Frey. I was just joking. It’s a hard fucking song, but you’ll get it in no time, I’m sure of it.”

Freya just smiled curtly and rested her head against G’s shoulder for a moment before observing the room around them. She noticed Sophia was nowhere to be seen, which was unlike her since she was basically their “team captain.”

“Where’s Soph?” Freya asked a bit louder in case Luna knew anything.

“She looked like she was getting a call. I think she stepped out back,” Luna responded and then went back to scrolling on her phone.

Freya didn’t really think anything of this. Sophia was always getting calls. The band didn’t really have a manager since they weren’t really popular anywhere besides local bars and on TikTok. That was kind of the dream though, famous enough to financially benefit, but not so famous that people wanted to know what color your shit was.

The silence in the room was broken a few moments later when Sophia busted through the back door, causing all the girls to jump out of their skin. She was wearing a crazed smile that Freya had only seen once before when Sophia had tried Molly back in Uni.

“Soph, what’s going on?” Freya asked gingerly.

“You lot will never believe who we’re going to be touring with this summer!”

Freya’s mind started racing. Of course they had toured with other bands before but no one that would get Sophia this excited.

“Who is it, Soph?” G asked after a beat.

“Well, ladies, we are going to be touring with none other than… drumroll please,” Sophia looked over to Luna, who abruptly grabbed her sticks and began to play a classic drumroll. The moment Luna hit the symbol with her stick, Sophia shouted, “Bad Omens! For their EU tour!”

The room erupted in screams as all the girls jumped up and hugged each other. This was incredible news and Freya should have been more excited, but this just meant more publicity, more eyes on her, exactly what she didn’t want. She plastered a fake smile on her face and hugged the rest of the girls. She stepped back from the group and could only muster up a simple, “Oh, fuck.”

[thatadhdfeel]

wishing safety to all. ❤️

(sorry if there’s any other options i didn’t think of! it’s early for me fhdjjsjfjf)

[4bor]

i do them drugs to stop the food cravings - lana del rey

[bloodywickedlips]

Conquer all

Summary: You are new to the team and notice something is going on with Spencer Reid, all the signs are there and you want to help him.

The elevator door opened and you stepped out looking at every one doing their own business.

You were lost and had no idea where to go. Seeing someone walk past you cleared your throat and stuck your hand out.

“Hi, sorry I'm miss Y/L/N, I’m looking for SSA Hotchner” you said with a smile and the woman in front of you looked around not sure what to do and smiled back at you.

“Do you have an appointment?” she asked you and you shook your head and pulled you badge out.

“no, I’m supposed to start with his team today, new member and all” I said and blushed as she stared at me with wonderment.

“oh you are the new recruit, okay, yes his office is right through there, up the stairs” she said pointing with her very out there painted nails. You smiled and went to thank her but she scurried off before you could say anything.

“weird…” you said to yourself and walked through the glass doors and to the stairs. You were aware of the eyes following you but kept your head held high and knocked on Hotchner’s door and stepped inside with the ‘come in’ you heard.

You closed the door behind you and looked at the man in front of you.

Suit and tie with piles of paper work in front of him.

“Good morning sir, I was told to see you first thing today” you said to him and watched as he stood up and walked around the table. You smiled as he stepped forward and pulled you in for a hug.

“I was told you would be joining us” he said and looked you over. “So you got the heads up to babysit your niece then?” you grumbled and he laughed. He didn’t smile often or even laugh and it was nice to see him do it.

“No I know of no such thing” he said and you rolled your eyes knowing your father for being over protective.

“Your desk is right across Reid’s , and I’ll introduce you soon” he said and motioned for you to sit down.

“I would prefer if the team didn’t know we are related” you said and he frowned at you silently questioning why.

“Back home everyone knew my dad and assumed I got in because of him, I don’t want the same happening here” you clarified for him hoping he would understand.

“I see, well the whole team is profilers so I will keep it quiet but they catch onto things quickly” Hotch said and you smiled.

“Uncle Hotch I was top of my class, and I’m very good at lying. I’m sure ill be fine” you said and stood up to set up your desk.

“then no more uncle, is Hotch only” he said and you nodded appreciatively and walked out shutting the door once again.

You looked over the desks and saw only one empty one. You sat your bag down and looked at the guy sitting by his desk across from you, he was something else, he looked like someone that just stepped off of a magazine cover. Reid you recalled your uncle saying.

“you must be Reid, I'm Y/L/N “ you said sticking your hand out. “Well hello…how can I help you?” he said obviously trying to flirt. “Morgan why are you in my chair?” a voice said to your left and as you turned to look you saw a tall guy in a sweater with beautiful brown hair. What is it with this place? Did they only hire model approved agents?

“Sorry pretty boy, I was looking for something” the guy said and it fit. Pretty boy.

“Who are you?” pretty boy asked and you couldn’t stop the blush from creeping up your neck.

“Y/N Y/L/N…I'm new to the team. And I'm guessing you are Reid and you are Morgan?” you asked and looked at spencer checking you from head to toe. It didn’t make your blushing any better.

“yeah, uh Spencer, Spencer Reid” he said and you noticed he didn’t try to shake hands with you instead he was scratching at his neck, which you could tell was already irritated from his scratching.

“and I’m Derek Morgan sweetness” the other man said and stuck his hand  out for you to shake.

You gripped his hand tightly and he turned it over “Nice ink” he said and you nodded as you looked down to your tattoo on your wrist.

It was something special to you that you had gotten a few months back, it was a stack of books with a small word saying conquer all.

Morgan let go and retreated to his own desk and you were left to set up your own. A few minutes later you were called to the meeting room and met the rest of the team before being prepped for a new case.

As you were listening to JJ explain what was happening you couldn’t help but steal glances at spencer. His leg was bouncing non stop and his eyes were never settled for long, and scratching. His neck and then elbow and then neck again. Never stopping.

After the briefing you grabbed your go bag and went over the files on the jet. You always sat on your own when working as then your mind was fully focused.

The case took four days in which you grew closer to the team and kept an eye on spencer’s antics. They never stopped.

Arriving back at the office you all had to fill in your own reports and you got a congratulations from the team on putting the profile together so quickly.

You just finished your report when you saw Spencer walk to the rest room and looked around first to see no one watching and walked after him.

You shut the men’s bathroom door and locked it behind you. There was only one cubicle door closed and you sighed, you hoped that you were wrong but all the signs were there.

“How long?” you asked out loud and heard spencer gasp “Shit..” before something dropped and it managed to roll right under the door and stop in front of your shoes. You bent down and picked it up.

Dilaudid, a narcotic painkiller.

The door flung open and spencer snatched it out of your hand.

“It’s not what you think” he said and walked to the sink to wash his hands. “Spencer talk to me” you said and frowned at him trying to help.

“Don’t call me that, it’s Doctor Reid” he snapped at you and you understood he wasn’t angry he was embarrassed.

“Reid, if you need help….” You started to say but he spun around and glared at you “I don’t know what you are talking about” he hissed and you shook your head.

“None of them know?” you asked surprised that no one has picked it up.

“Shut up, you know nothing” Spencer hissed at you and he stormed out of the bathroom and you followed after him, going to your own desk.

Spencer avoided you and you couldn’t blame him. He was angry and embarrassed, but you knew he was angry that you had picked it up and none of his team mates/ family picked it up.

“Don’t stay too late guys” Hotch said to both you and spencer and an idea struck you.

“No we are actually just leaving. Spencer and I am going to grab a coffee and a few books to read” you said smiling at your uncle.

“oh Reid can I ask you to pick up a book for Jack to read. We’ve finished the last book you gave us” Hotch said and you could see spencer wanted to decline but you mentioning going to a bookstore had him stuck.

“Sure Hotch” Spencer said and you smiled and grabbed your bag. Spencer stood up as well and pushed his chair back in a little bit too hard but Hotch didn’t seem to notice.

You walked with spencer and hotch to the elevator and waited till the doors opened to the basement where all the cars were parked.

“Come on Reid, my car is this way” you said and bid Hotch a goodnight and spencer had no choice but to follow you.

You got into the car and waited for spencer to get in, slamming your door resulting in you rolling your eyes.

You drove through the city until you got to the bookstore and looked at spencer but he was avoiding your gaze.

“Come on” you said and got out of the car and walked to the bookstore. You walked to the door and spencer huffed as he saw the closed sign on it.

“It’s closed, nice thinking” he remarked and you rolled your eyes again as you pushed the door open and stepped inside. “Reid just get inside” you grumbled having enough of his attitude.

Spencer frowned but walked in and followed you through the aisles after closing and locking the door.

You approached the chairs and smiled as you saw some of the few people that you knew.

“Anyone else?” you heard and sighed as you walked up and turned to face spencer that was still standing for an explanation.

“Hi everyone, my name is Y/N and I’m a recovering addict. Now we can all speak freely here as all of us are in some parts of law enforcement. So where should I start? Uh I’ve had to deal with some nasty people out there. So it all started when a case went bad, I ended up getting shot and needed surgery. I was in hospital for a long time, and there I fell into the rabid hole of morphine. I lost friends and family as my addiction got worse and I nearly overdosed while on the job. My mind was so busy that I forgot I had already shot up that morning and only a few hours later did I take another dose. My co worker found me passed out in my motel room and had to phone an ambulance. It was then and there I decided I couldn’t carry on like that. I had to be stronger and conquer this addiction. So this coming Wednesday I will be sober for a year” you explained and the people around you cheered and clapped but your eyes were only set on spencer.

He had tears in his eyes and you felt your heart break a little bit for him.

You walked back and sat down for the next person to speak. Spencer joined you and sat next to you.

“How…” spencer asked and you turned to him with a sad smile “It takes one to know one” you said softly and watched as he nodded and turned back to listen to other stories.

After the meeting was finished you said goodnight to everyone and locked the door again.

“So what you have permission to use the store?” spencer asked behind you and you chuckled.

“No, it’s mine. Only thing I found pleasure in my whole life was books. So I bought my own bookstore” you explained.

“Reid, I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have gotten involved” you said and looked down at your feet.

“No I’m sorry, I was just embarrassed. And angry that none of my family is helping, but only a true friend would get in the line of fire to try and help” spencer said and you stepped up to him.

“I will help Reid, anything you need” you said and spencer nodded and reached into his bag. You frowned not knowing what he was doing until he held out his hand and when he opened it you saw the three bottles. “Take them…please” Spencer said with a tremble in his voice.

You took the bottles from him and stepped forward slowly, wrapping your arms around him.

Spencer was stiff for a few seconds before his arms circled you and a sob tore through his throat.

“It’s okay Spencer, you will get through this. I will help you” you said and hugged him tighter. You knew there were a lot of hard days ahead, detoxing was one of the worst things to go through, but you would get him through it and stay by his side.

“I’m at a disadvantage here” spencer said as he pulled away and wiped his eyes.

“You know a secrete about me but I know almost nothing about you” he said and you smiled staring up into his beautiful eyes.

“I have an uncle in the BAU” you said and watched Spencer’s eyebrow squint together trying to think who it was.

“Come on let’s grab that book my uncle asked you for” you said and laughed out loud as spencer’s eyes went wide. “Hotch!! Hotch is your uncle?” he exclaimed and you shook your head at him and grabbed his hand to lead him to the children books. You knew he wasn’t big on touching but it warmed your heart when he didn’t pull away but instead grabbed your hand tighter.

[cevansbrat0007]

Lemme Tell Ya Bout Some Stuff

I've been a little quiet lately. And here's why - if only because it's cathartic to write about these things. I moved out of my sober living house just shy of two months ago.

The apartment in which I live still encourages maintaining that sobriety. But unfortunately, it doesn't stop life from doing whatever the fuck it does.

Which means that a week ago today I found my roommate overdosed. Thankfully, we were able to save him. But it was terrifying. And traumatizing. And at the time, all I could think was that at least I know how to use Narcan.

I administered the spray. I rubbed his chest. I tried to guide him back. Meanwhile my other roommate called 911, she called out orders, she moved quick to open doors - she's a fucking badass superhero.

And because of that he's okay.

He's moving out and going to get some help. But he's alive and breathing. He gets another fucking chance and believe you me we have talked about how he is quickly running out of lives.

He's overdosed multiple times. He's double digits. And when we spoke finally I did everything short of punch him.

He fucked me up. He fucked my roommate up. And that shit hits in waves. But enough about that - seriously.

My fucking bright spot, is that for months my Tumblr Bestie and I have been planning a little vacay. Tomorrow, @curls-and-eyeliner and are gonna meet for the first time. I'm flying all the way down to Virginia to hang out with my girl.

And we're gonna have some serious fucking fun! We talk damn near every day, her and I. And she is hands down one of the most supportive people I have in my life.

I'm blessed to know her.

No different than how I've been blessed to know ya'll. I'm gonna finish packing my suitcase now. I love you.

Britt