#trickster...so on can be so fucking helpful

[the-weeping-dawn]

Protecting Isobel, really we just need sanctuary, fireball, and a karlach at least.....

everyone else is just meat sheilds for the moon lesbian.

[haunted-doodles]

Girl help my dog's angry that I still haven't finished listening to PD

[higgsbison]

I've been thinking of the "Can Granny Weatherwax beat Bugs Bunny" question and this is my full take for Discworld characters:

Vimes - Cares too much, too easy to piss off. Has the innate chase instinct that makes characters run into walls with realistic tunnels painted on them. Might get to arrest Bugs Bunny but the beast will just slip out of the handcuffs to help him lock them, then walk out of the jail cell to have a union mandated coffee break.

Ridcully - Classic hunting season scenario, but has enough charisma to probably still get a few good shots off before the inevitable.

Rest of the wizards - No survivors, only Bugs.

Carrot - The intense near-magical narrative aura of well meaning innocence should make him immune, Bugs will likely be forced to be the villain of the episode.

Lord Vetinari - Flattened by a comically large anvil in the first few minutes of the episode, unclear if it was all a part of his long term strategy or not.

Moist - Has the 'lovable trickster getting away with it' energy, but nowhere near Bugs level. Already fell for the "old lady who swallowed a fly" scenario with the stamp slugs once, won't fare any better here.

Death - Definitely one of those "character is trying to avoid death" episodes, would go back and forth. Might actually get to end Bugs but his spirit will reappear in Death's domain and ruin his garden.

Nanny Ogg - The ultimate in anti-Bugs technology, a gleefully annoying old lady who doesn't give a fuck and definitely won't be the first to instigate the plot bearing conflict. This is a full sweep, he's the episode antagonist.

Granny Weatherwax - Too win-motivated to not lose. Would have to break the story to have any chance. Might do it.

Magrat - Will have sappy ideas about helping the poor animal which honestly has the 50:50 chance of either getting slapsticked or Bugs ending in a ye olde stroller&pacifier gag.

Colon&Nobby - Designed in a lab to be totaled by Bugs Bunny.

Tiffany Aching - A child that also has a large pan that is the perfect thing to hit someone over the head with and make a BOIOIOINGGG sound, so great odds.

[rivilu]

The more I think about the story through Daeran's pov the more insane i go. btw.

[krems-chair]

I'm always interested in analyses that portray a romanced Solas as a predatory hee hee trickster god manipulating a young and impressionable Lavellan into falling for him and if that's your world state go ahead and live your truth b/c it's frankly none of my business, but I sincerely think there are those who forget that for a lot of people, a romanced Lavellan is (with all due respect to my own Solasmancing Inquisitor Rielle Lavelllan) batshit crazy. Having her boyfriend turn out to be a wolf god is honestly the least of her problems but oh boy is she unafraid to become one to fix this mess.

This is a woman who woke up in a dungeon with a glowing hand, figured out she could fix the world, and thought "fuck it, it's not like I'll have anything else better to do if Corypheus sticks around. Also. Everyone here kind of looks like they want to kill me, so maybe I'll stick with the protective powers that be for a minute." And then all of five seconds later she gets her hand snatched by a sketchy elven apostate who knows exactly what to do with her shiny new powers and cannot stop himself from having a Mr. Darcy level hand-flex after he lets it go (in my heart and soul this happens just out of the camera's gaze) and goes "hmm maybe there's something to be said for this world saving thing."

This is a woman who brought an entire fucking avalanche down on herself and three of her closest friends (and I do mean closest as in physical proximity, she doesn't know these people who are looking at her like she's Thedas' Next Top Idol) because even if it killed her it was the proper middle finger to send to the wannabe god bringing his army tap-dancing down the mountain pass towards her on the one night she had scheduled off to celebrate finally taking a W.

This is a woman going Take 2 Electric Boogaloo on waking up with no idea where she is and learning she was successful in spite-dragging herself up a different fucking mountain in a blizzard. Except now everyone is fighting wait nope now they're Kumbaya-ing a song Andraste's Herald should really probably be familiar with whoops, oh thank God, time for a side convo with the same apostate who's been trying to turn her entire life into a history class only for her to dive in headfirst (much to his initial abject horror) and get that good good discourse she needs since she can't go around arguing with everyone else like she wants to. "The orb is ours." You know what? Of course it is. But if they need the world saved from an elven oopsie, who better to right things than an elf? Fuck it, we ball.

This is a woman who misses being close to nature and goes positively feral at Skyhold, yeeting herself over balconies and banisters and turning the ancient fortress into her personal parkour playground because she's got energy to work off and shit to do, and if the path of least resistance to hunt down everyone she needs to talk to is coincidentally the same path that will absolutely wreck her knees by the time she's sixty, that's just how it has to be.

This is a woman who finds herself back at Haven with a man she's found it possible to be unfetteringly unabashedly herself with and thinks, "hey, maybe there could be more than the flirations we've exchanged over heated discussions and philosophical deep-dives, maybe I can have just one smooch as a treat." And when she feels her slowly unfurling passion reciprocated only to be shut down? She resolves herself to fight for this fledgling love and all the fade tongue that comes with it. This is a woman who gets the tiniest glimpse of what a retirement plan might look like after this whole saving the mortal world thing and buys all the way in.

This is a woman who has Grey Wardens to save from themselves, an empire trying to self-cannibalize, and still finds the time to go rescue a spirit because she, as a fellow comrade caught up in this mess, knows damn well that no innocent deserves to suffer if she can help it while she's got this insane amount of power she never asked for. And if that happens to lead to the man she feels safe enough to nap on the library couches with confessing at last the feelings she knows he's been smothering beneath his all-too-collected surface? Yeah, she'll take that W.

This is a woman who gets absolutely blasted head-over-ass into the fade and goes "honestly things were going a little TOO well." This is a woman who sneaks a peak at the closest fears of the companions she's come to know and love and goes "not on my fucking watch." This is a woman who sees that the man she forces herself to learn the old language for, her vhenan, fears being alone more than anything in the entire knowing world and resolves herself to ensuring it never comes to pass.

This is a woman who gets the opportunity to shape the government of a straight up country and runs around collecting wooden fucking halla in a palace full of elven servants with no time to dwell on that particularly cruel irony because out here it's scheme or be schemed. This a woman who collapses against a balcony railing after putting out some of the sickest literal and metaphorical dance moves The Game has ever seen, resigned to bear her ever-increasing burdens alone, only to find her heart and his horrible horrible hat extending a hand, promising her that if he is not alone, then neither is she.

Like, do you feel me here?

And then he dares to think something as sudden and damning as the truth is enough to keep her away? The queen of tough conversations and tougher choices? No, no, dear readers who have made it this far into my descent into madness.

Inquisitor Lavellan is a master-class in encouraging the odds against her to fuck around and find out. She is a rift-mending false-god-bashing politcally savvy terror upon all of Thedas. Solas (and all of the living breathing world) is lucky she took time out of her busy schedule to notice the way his smile softens when talking about spirits or appreciate the fluidity of his form when they're obliterating venatori out in the field. This man cradled her cheeks in his shaking hands, looked into weary and wide eyes and called her beautiful, and had the audacity to steal her heart before trying to peace out and take it with him.

If she's got to track down a real god this time and frog march him into the fade to reclaim both her heart and the future she fought for because all he wants to do is launch himself like a meteor towards achieving his greatest fear, if she has to spend hours lecturing him on the sheer audacity of his ass while spirits float by and realize they're grateful they never had the chance to take on a body and subject themselves to a verbal lashing this brutal, if she has to do cartwheels around him while dropping all sorts of sweet nothings in the language she is now quite proficient in until he gets it through his luminous gleaming skull that when she said "var lath vir suledin" my girl meant it? Then that's what she's going to do.

"I wish it could, vhenan."

Oh it's going to, buddy. Buckle up to get wrecked, to get absolutely loved and cherished you fool, because Inquisitor Lavellan is not the Dread Wolf's prey, she's his hunter.

[kquil]

PERFECT MATCH PART 2

PAIR. : poly!marauders x female slytherin reader

SUM. : despite being from Slytherin, as a fellow prankster, you give the marauders a helping hand

LENGTH : 1.2k

PART 1 | NAVI.

NOT PROOFREAD OR EDITED

Peter had blown their cover, and now the boys were running from Slughorn, who had caught them red-handed, switching the necessary ingredients for the next potion class. They should have known that Peter wasn’t the best choice for a lookout, considering he was the first to get caught and promptly given detention with Filch. As they were running away, however, their camaraderie lingered when Peter called out to them, hoping they wouldn’t be caught. 

The remaining three marauders make a valiant effort to run away as fast as possible. Remus stays a good few metres ahead of James and Sirius, his hidden athleticism sparking in only the most dire straits. Despite the potential threat of detention, the three grin widely through the chase; Sirius has the gall to laugh at the sheer amount of fun he’s experiencing. The freedom to break the rules and run freely from the consequences – only light penalisation in his eyes – was invigorating. None of them believe they would ever willingly stop their practical jokes, even Remus, no matter how much he denies it.

Racing through the halls with their youth pumping through their veins, Remus, James and Sirius make it so that Slughorn is considerably far behind them before slowing down. Between laboured breaths, they try to sort out their next move but quickly run out of time. Slughorn was quickly approaching according to their map and they resorted to hiding in a darkened hallway they don’t normally walk down. Consumed by the rush, they had managed to make it down to the dungeons just as you stepped out of the hallway they had barely hidden in.

They weren’t very good hiders but it was amusing so you kept your lips sealed despite your mischievous nature urging you to press them with questions. Your answer came swiftly in the form of Professor Slughorn, out of breath and keeling over with sweat drenching his brows. 

So that’s what’s happening~ 

Immediately understanding the situation, you step out of the hallway to face your gasping head of house and restrain a devious giggle at the sight of the marauders’ widened eyes. They’ve seen you, see them hiding. They’re also familiar with your artfully scheming ways likened to their marauder group’s mischief; the fact that you’re a Slytherin, however, doesn’t bode well. Fuck…were you gonna out them? 

You don’t need any prompting, already directing the professor before he’s managed to catch his breath, “Oh Professor~ by the way, if you’d really like to know…” Slughorn eyes you after finally catching his breath. Through the fog of his exhausted mind, he finds himself eagerly awaiting your direction, almost having forgotten why he was in his current state in the first place, “they went that way,” you point to the right, the opposite direction of the three tricksters. James, Remus and Sirius release a collective breath of relief but remain eager to see how the interaction may unfold further. 

“Who did?” Slughorn asks, trying to navigate the smog of fatigue clogging up his brain. 

“The marauders,”

“They did?” your potions professor brightens at the revelation. You guess he’s finally rediscovered his initial intentions. But woe is me~ can he trust you so easily? 

“They did what?” you tilt your head innocently, casually continuing the conversation as if you hadn’t just thrown him for a loop with that curveball of a question. 

“Went that way?” he points right, perplexed at your sudden change. It seems Professor Slughorn was still foggy in the head from his sapped stamina and the boys had to bite their lips from bursting out laughing – you’re a menace. 

“Who did?” you ask, pulling the most innocuous expression the boys have ever seen a Slytherin muster. Have you grown more beautiful since their last interaction? They can’t help but keep staring at your sweet face and pretty, pouty lips…

“The marauders!” Slughorn insists but you continue your oblivious stance. 

“What marauder?”

“But didn’t you just say?-- Oh never mind,” Slughorn gives up the chase and turns with a dull swish of his robes. For now, he’s satisfied that he, at least, managed to get Pettigrew. As soon as Slughorn was far enough away, you turn back to the crouching marauders and give them a wink, signalling that the coast was clear. 

“My fair lady!” Sirius dramatically bows down and kisses your knuckles, “How may I ever repay your kind gesture?”

“Hmmm…” you seem to seriously contemplate his playful words for a moment, though Sirius doesn’t mind, he’s more than eager to pay you back for saving his hide. “Let’s see…” You press your hand flat against his chest and slowly move down. The sultry overtones of your gesture make Sirius’ heart pound as he, Remus and James stare wide-eyed and gaping at your soft hands fondling their close friend’s chest. Suddenly your hand becomes a blur as you pull back his robe and steal a licorice wand from his inner breast pocket. “This’ll do~” you chirp innocently and begin to nibble on your newly acquired snack. “I can always count on you to be generous, Siri,” your wink sends a dangerous heat crawling up Sirius’ neck and exploding across his pale cheeks. This has never happened to him with a girl before! He’s supposed to make you flustered! 

Turning to Remus, you make a gesture with your hand as if to say ‘pay up’. However, when the tall brunette merely stares at you in wonder with a small, amused quirk on his lips, you raise a brow, “I know you’re loaded, Lupin. Gimme the goods,” and just like that, you also have Remus turning bright pink. How can you be so nonchalant and not realise the embarrassingly sexual innuendos underpinning your words?! Remus surrenders a peppermint toad. 

James was the last one of the three you turn to as you pocket Remus’ liberal offer. “You don’t have to ask me, for anything,” James chuckles and easily provides you with a handful of Fizzing Whizzbees. With a victorious smile, like a cute little squirrel who’s happy with her hoard, you pocket James’ addition and lean forward to brush a kiss along his sharp jaw. 

“I knew I could count on you, Potter,” 

James was floored. Sirius had to lean against the wall and Remus was limp against the large window sill. All three stare with a mix of surging admiration and boyish wonder as you walk away with a skip in your step. You’re so happy, you even begin to hum a soft little tune to yourself. 

“...wait… how come only James gets a kiss?” Remus asks, bringing Sirius back from his dazed state. James merely smirks in triumph – he’ll remember the softness of your pretty lips against his skin forever~

“Dearest!” Sirius calls, already jogging after you. “I think you’ve forgotten something!” 

“Yeah,” Remus adds with a cheeky grin, leisurely making his way over with James at his side, drawling in his Welsh accent, “gives us a cusan,” 

“What’s that?” you’ve stopped, curious as to what he may mean. From his tall height, Remus leans forward, bending at his hips and whispers in your ear. 

“That’s a kiss, sweetheart,” he steals one anyway at the base of your ear, where your neck and jaw meet. The high sensitivity of the area makes you squeal in surprise, only to be kissed by Sirius too, who aims innocently for your cheek. 

NAVI.

A/N : because of @urmomw4ntsme 's recent ask of wanting to see a Slytherin reader, it got me thinking about this request that i wrote last year for my 1k milestone. I couldn’t sleep until i finished writing this so it may not have the best grammar so please excuse me for that. this was also inspired by this interaction between Alice and the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland.

[quarterlifekitty]

vampire au made me screech out loud, never realised i needed it so badly until you wrote it 🙏🏻🔥

Thank you my beautiful angel. Here's a tidbit that's been floating around for me.

While you're staying at the den, they each end up teaching you a little of what they know. It's not an official thing, it just started, until they all had a little slice of the week where they'd help you acclimate to your new form (even though Price insists that he's not sure if he's just going to kill you to uphold the social structure yet).

Soap teaches you facemorphing. Most vampires have the ability to shapechange to a degree, and he happens to be very good at it, being a natural born trickster.

Gaz teaches you hypnotism. They're all rather decent at it (except for Ghost, who is more or less unable to do it) but he's the best there is.

Price teaches you the social aspects of upholding the masquerade. How to talk and act. You may think you still behave like a human being, but the more time you spend as a vampire the further your grip on human nature will slip. This is one aspect in which Soap and Nikolai are terrible-- not because they lack ability, but because they can't resist fucking with people.

Ghost teaches you physical masquerade. He teaches you how to pick targets and how to get rid of evidence. He's something of anomaly-- he has basically no natural ability to hypnotize or to shapechange, so he's had to adapt a lot more in order to stay fed and out of trouble. He does your makeup in the early days, when the change has wracked your body and you don't have enough skill in morphing to hide it.

Nikolai, of course, teaches you flight, and how to transform into a bat at will. Whereas Soap excels in changing his face and body, Nikolai has a few more animal morphs up his sleeve than most-- he can take the form of a wolf as well as a bat, and a couple more, if he's properly motivated.

[onyourowndaisymae]

don't mind me... just thinking about the demon brothers slowly dropping the rest of their roster for you as they fall head over heels...

lucifer // mammon // levi (you are here) // satan // asmo // beel // belphie -- others coming soon, NSFW warning below, gn!reader

leviathan, who doesn't have time. time for himself, for his hobbies, for his brothers, and certainly no time for you. he's sick of your meddling, honestly. he never even wanted a pact with you. you're just some lousy human trickster that managed to back him into a corner. whatever. just because he has a pact with you doesn't mean he has to spend time with you.

leviathan, who isn't jealous at all, of course. he's not jealous of the way mammon is so far up your ass that he doesn't know what day it is. he's not jealous of the way beel's sitting on the floor between your legs. he's not jealous of the way asmo and satan cast you curious glances, like they too want to see what's so special about you. it's not fair. why does levi always get the leftovers? why did he have to come to your side after mammon, dooming himself to an eternity of decency lectures from your "first man"? sure, he didn't want you at the beginning but... things change. now he can't help but curl into himself as jealousy boils in his chest.

leviathan, whose days are spent lost in rpgs and whose nights are reserved for filthy hentai games. obscene moans and slick slaps of skin against skin blare from his headphones behind the safety of his locked door. usually, these games have him panting, dick in his hands as precum dribbles down his fingers, but for some reason they feel... lackluster? he's aroused, of course, but he just... can't get into it. or at least, he doesn't think he can-- not until someone that looks like you pops on screen. suddenly he's wide-eyed and hard as a rock. the character gets bent over a table and fucked senseless, and levi's feverishly tugging at his cock to match their pace. is that what you'd look like? he plays the scene over and over until he's spent, until even resting a hand in his lap makes his thighs tremble.

leviathan, who feels so incredibly guilty for masturbating to the thought of you. but he can't stop himself. it's all he can think about these days. nothing is as alluring, as magnetic as you are. he's memorized the way the collar of your uniform sits on your neck, the curve of your soft lips, how you smile at him and listen so intently and-- dammit, he's hard just thinking about you. the hentai games are not enough. he hardly plays them anymore, trading time in front of the screen with time next to you, watching your face focused as you weave your motorcycle through other players while racing in devilcart, hoping that the scent of you, your presence, will linger long after you head to bed for the night.

leviathan, who can't believe how lucky he is right now, how the stars aligned perfectly and time stopped, just so he could have your tongue running across the tip of his cock like that. he's trembling under the weight of your heavy gaze, as you wrap your lips around the head and suck. a sharp cry leaves his lips, and he slaps both of his hands over his mouth to muffle the sound. you grin. it's the best you've ever looked. he can't believe you're here, with him, on your knees between his legs, hand pumping his length while you run your tongue up the underside, holding eye contact to watch him become a blushing, squirming, whimpering mess. his hips jerk against his wishes when you finally take him in your mouth, but you take it in stride, your warm hands pinning his bare hips against his chair. your head bobs across the length of his shaft but all he can feel is heat-- so warm and incredible and soft-- and fuck if he isn't about to cum just from looking at you. his hands grip the arms of his chair as you take him to unbelievable heights of pleasure. this, he thinks, is much better than anything on a screen.

taglist for this series (hopefully i'm doing this right lol): @the-demonus-aunt // @scienceisfornerds

[treviso-nights]

the significance of rook as a protagonist who is 'unable to be evil' is because the inquisitor can be. and hawke. and the warden, for that matter. in dai there are companion disapproval cutscenes for a reason: you have either fucked up so badly or killed so many people that they literally stage an intervention for you. rook, by contrast, is a tremendously appropriate protagonist for veilguard—not just because they’re handpicked by varric but because they are good. like their goodness is the point. it is the story.

and i get why some players would be upset by that and feel constrained by the moral paradigm the narrative inherently embodies. players like options. however, rook's goodness (in whatever capacity) does not necessitate that they're a bad/flat protagonist considering they have unique backstories which tells us about the quality and the context of that goodness. in my opinion, it's a natural byproduct of the overarching story of the dragon age games: yet another person thrust into a role and political position they did not ask for but must pursue for the greater purpose of all.

the thing about veilguard though is that no possible protagonist could be as bad or as evil as the evanuris (and by extension, the chaos ripping the veil down would do at this point in time), so to play as an evil!rook feels counterintuitive to the point of the game regardless.

if we WERE to get the option to play an evil!rook who, for example, supports the evanuris and blights the world alongside them, it just means there's no more world to play in. dragon age is over.

furthermore, there's no option to help solas bring the veil down because it is an evil option. it's not a dev mistake that rook doesn't get the opportunity to side with our favorite war criminal. to most thedosians, the end of the veil means the end of their life. solas is one of the most unreliable narrators in the series, so the idea that he has harm reduction measures in place is unmeasurable because he is a proven trickster. those who'd take the chance anyway would still be considered evil by all who are affected in the wake of it.

—and i agree that it would be fun! but it's not veilguard's story because the stakes are higher than they have ever been in previous games, and thedas needs someone else to save it once again.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Tim Comes for Dinner! (part 5.5)

Previous | Masterpost

Well I meant to post this a couple days ago but my computer croaked and it took me a hot minute to figure that mess out. ko-fi in my bio if you want to help make up some of the budget shortfall that caused smh

---------

Since first meeting up with Hyena and Jason, Tim had gone to visit them a few more times. Tim would try to arrange his patrol so he’d be by Crime Alley around the middle, when he usually stopped for a break and something to eat. He would cross the invisible border and without fail Hyena would come find him rather quickly and, if Hood could get away, they would have lunch together. It was nice to bond with one of his brothers, especially given how distant Dick had been. He hadn’t been around at all since his last fight with Bruce and Bruce wasn’t exactly emotionally available so it had been lonely. That was fine since Tim was used to it, but still.

Tim had been given access to one of their safe houses in case he ever needed to hide from Bruce, since it absolutely couldn’t be traced to him. Tim had plans to take them up on their offer for homework help too. Next semester he was taking an astronomy course and that was not his specialty. With how much Hyena loved space Tim thought asking for help would be fun for both of them. 

All that to say, getting to know both of them was going really well! But Tim still hadn’t been to any of their actual safehouses yet, especially the one Hyena referred to as their ‘nest’. That was fine, Tim understood that perfectly! They had an unspoken agreement to not really talk about the nightlife, but since the three of them were technically on different sides of course they wouldn’t want him in their safe spaces. He wouldn’t press it at all, it would just seem like he was digging for info.

They had invited him over for dinner tonight but Tim wasn’t expecting it to be at their home since they could bring groceries to a safe house easily enough. He was still looking forward to it, especially with how much Hyena had been talking up Jason’s cooking.  

The plans had been before Tim had seen their confrontation with Batman and Constantine. Hyena and hood had been so focussed on those two they seemed to have forgotten Tim was there. He didn’t mind, his instructions had been to hang back and watch anyway, and it had been really interesting to watch honestly. 

He knew that Hyena was fucking with them, he’d spent enough time with the man to know that he was a trickster at heart, but he also knew that Hyena must have been telling the truth thanks to the spell. It was interesting and Tim was curious to say the least, but he doubted he’d be getting any more answers today. He was trying not to think about it too much because he couldn’t stand not knowing things and he didn’t want to end up ruining dinner with incessant questions they’d probably just dodge anyway.

He’d been given the address for dinner and was on his way now, in civvies this time, and without bothering with any sort of contingency plans now that he trusted Jason and Danny more. He was driving one of the more beat up cars so as not to stand out in the poorer area of town, he didn’t want any trouble. He parked, and glanced at the address again to make sure he was in the right place, before letting himself into the apartment building and buzzed their apartment. 

“Yellow!” Hyena’s chipper voice came through the speaker, slightly distorted. 

“Hey, it’s me, can you buzz me in please?” Tim asked.

“Oh! You’re a bit early. Of course!” Hyena agreed and then the door unlocked and Tim let himself in and headed up.

He double checked the apartment number before knocking, and again it was Hyena who let him in with a bright smile. He was wearing a tshirt with a flying saucer on it and jeans, no mask or hood. It was the first time Tim had seen the white in his hair and he understood the need for the hood, it was pretty distinctive. 

“Hi! Welcome!” Hyena said, hugging Tim and nearly lifting him off his feet making him wheeze but he’d been expecting it, Hyena was very tactile and affectionate. He put Tim down quickly and ushered him inside. 

“Hey there, Timmy,” Jason called from the kitchen, he had an apron on and there was a small smudge of some sort of sauce on his right cheek. He was smiling and he looked just as at home in the kitchen as he did on the job, comfortable and confident. The smell of warm food, garlic and spices, filled the space making it feel homey. “Dinner’s almost ready but it’ll be a little bit longer. Can Danny get you something to drink?” 

“Danny?” Tim asked, it was the first time he’d heard that name, he glanced at Hyena who smiled at him and nodded. 

“I know both of your real names, you might as well know mine. I’m sick of hiding behind, like, five different levels of secret identity anyway,” Danny said with a shrug. “So, anything to drink?”

“Uh whatever juice you have is fine,” Tim said with a little shrug, Danny nodded and headed over to the fridge, giving Tim a chance to look around the apartment.

It looked… a lot more lived in then he expected. There was a bouquet of varied roses on the table, some in colours Tim could have sworn roses didn’t come in. Must be from Ivy, but they fit in with the rest of the decor. The space was cozy, the couches looked used but well cared for, and there were decorations on the walls. This must have been their actual home, huh, he hadn’t expected that. Both telling him Danny’s real name, and letting him into their actual home was a show of trust that Tim wasn’t expecting. It seemed a bit premature, he hadn’t earned this trust yet. 

“Thank you,” Tim said as he took the cup of tropical-punch Danny handed him.

“Make yourself at home! Jason’s making pasta with stuffed meatballs and sauce, and garlic bread! He makes the best garlic bread,” Danny cheered a little as he went to set the table. Unsure what else to do, Tim sat down at the table and watched the couple dance around each other with practiced ease as they got ready for dinner. 

“Ya ya if you keep talking me up he’s going to find the reality a let down,” Jason said, rolling his eyes at Danny before pulling a pan of garlic bread out of the oven and tilting it onto a plate. “Take this to the table,” he directed Danny, who let out an inhuman little trill of delight and snatched the plate, bringing it to the table. 

He was a good enough host to let Tim take a piece before he grabbed one as well and took a bite, his mouth opening just slightly too wide and took a big bite, immediately starting to purr. It seemed like after the confrontation with Constantine he had given up on pretending to be human in front of the family. And judging by the absolutely disgustingly loving way Jason was looking at Danny, he was enjoying it.

To avoid making a face at his brother being sappy at his boyfriend Tim took a bite of his own piece of garlic bread and made a series of soft startled noises, first about how hot it was, and then about how flavourful and good it was! He looked down at it in shock, and took another bite quickly, savouring how buttery, and garlicky, and herbaceous it was!

When he looked up he caught Jason watching him with a little smirk on his face, he knew how good it was too and was being smug about it. Tim rolled his eyes and flipped his brother off before he swallowed his bite. “Don’t get cocky,” he said before taking another bite as Danny cackled and Jason rolled his eyes. 

“If you don’t think it’s going to be any good you don’t have to have any of the pasta I spent all day making,” Jason said as he grabbed the pot and drained the noodles. 

“He made it from scratch!” Danny told him with a cheeky grin, leaning in to add in a conspiratorial stage whisper; “He wanted to impress you so you’d come visit more.” 

“You don’t have to have any either!” Jason warned, pointing a spatula threateningly at his boyfriend. 

“You wouldn’t dare!” Danny gasped dramatically. 

“Try me!” Jason shot back.

“Fine, I’m sorry, please don’t deprive me of your cooking,” Danny laminated with a dramatic swoon.

Tim hid a snort behind his glass of juice at the couple's antics. Jason rolled his eyes and brought one of the dishes over to the table, Danny jumped up to help ferry the rest over to the table as well. Jason put the bowl of pasta down in front of Tim so he could take some while Danny helped himself to meatballs.

Once everyone had food, and Danny had started eating while it was still far too hot for the humans at the table, Tim caught Jason looking at him funny. Tim looked back questioningly, what was Jason thinking about?

“You’re quieter than usual Tim, everything okay?” Jason asked him and Tim winced a little, he’d thought he was being pretty good. 

“I’m just trying really hard not to be a detective right now,” Tim explained with a self-deprecating little smile. “I saw what happened between you two and Bruce the other day and I’m curious, but I don’t want to ask-”

“Good, don’t,” Danny cut in, his eyes flashing that dangerous green for just a moment before he shoved another big bite of pasta and sauce, undercutting the threat just a bit. 

Tim nodded acknowledgment and continued; “But mainly I’m just, kind of surprised you let me come here? I mean, you know how The Bats are as well as anyone but you brought me to your actual home? You told me your real name. I haven’t earned that much trust.”

Jason shrugged awkwardly and looked at Danny, who swallowed probably too quickly so he could answer. “He’s allergic to expressing his emotions too,” Danny said, gesturing at Jason. 

“Learned from the best,” Jason cut in with a self-deprecating laugh.

“So I’ll explain. You didn’t need to earn it,” Danny explained, laying his hands on the table, palm up. “It’s preemptive, we’re hoping that by giving you more of our trust you’ll give us more of yours. Not for any nefarious purposes or anything, but just that you’ll be willing to come to us for help if you need it. And that you won’t listen to all the paranoid rambling I’m sure Bruce is doing about us,” Danny finished with a crooked smile, glancing at Jason who snickered softly.

“I wasn’t listening to him already,” Tim said absently as he turned over what Danny had said in his mind. At least his comment made both of them laugh. “This was your idea huh?” Tim asked Danny.

“Oh ya, basically all of this has been Danny’s ideas,” Jason agreed, fidgeting with his fork. “I had the truly terrible idea to try and threaten you out of being Robin, because the idea of you dying like I did freaked me the Fuck out. It was Danny who said that wouldn’t work and we should support you instead. As usual, he was right,” Jason sighed.

“And that’s how you know I’m the wife!” Danny joked with his slightly manic crackle.

Tim laughed too, and his food was finally cool enough to eat now so he dug in. Oh ya, he was definitely coming back again if it meant more food like this!

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

sun-kissed | for @steddiemicrofic june prompt hot AND @steddie-spooktober summerween pop-up prompts pines and trickster

pairing: steddie (duh) | word count: 315 | rated: G | on AO3

In the end, it took practically nothing at all for Steve to lean forward.

It’d been a perfect day so far. 85 and sunny, a light breeze that pushed through the pines behind the Harrington home, the faint smell of coconut in their sunscreen, the hiss of pop cans and the sizzle of hot dogs on the grill.

Now, after the kids had gone and with Robin upstairs in the shower, Steve takes the time to clean up the few dishes they’d used, then leans his weight forward on the island, letting the A/C settle against his sun-warmed skin.

Eddie was sitting across from him, sunburnt and hair wild from the mix of sun, sweat, and chlorine the group’s day in Steve’s pool, going on and on about some new big bad he was crafting up for one of his games.

“A trickster, Steve! It’d be perfect; I could to do whatever I wanted to to fuck with them, and it’s part of the lore!”

He was grinning wide, nearly as bright as the sun had been earlier that day.

And that’s all it took.

Steve leaned forward, and kissed his friend mid-sentence.

Eddie’s lips are chapped, his cheek hot under Steve’s palm, and instead of panicking about what is happening, instead of thinking about how Eddie really should be drinking water right now instead of another pop so his lips will be less chapped next time, and that he should probably run upstairs for the aloe instead of making it sting worse with his touch, Steve just… keeps kissing him.

Eddie takes the half second Steve had reserved for the thoughts he wasn’t having to get with the program, shooting his own hands forward and holding Steve’s own sun-warmed face in his hands.

After another long moment, Steve pulls back, leans onto the counter on his elbows again, and says, “So, a trickster, huh?”

it's been so long since i wrote any steddie so i figured the microfic length would help!! 😅 hope you enjoyed this little thing!

divider credit

[eternitariant]

Sketchy

cw//tw//~ knives, blood, bruising, biting, vvv subtle lowkey hints towards sub/dom dynamic, one brutal physical assault (he's very protective... what can i say)

You were walking to your next class when someone’s shoulder slammed into you and sent you flying back into the lockers-

“Ow, Jesus.” You muttered, moving your shoulder back and forth to ensure that you still could,

“Stay out of my way.” Debbie Marlston, your most common tormenter glared at you and you rolled your eyes before continuing towards the classroom.

You sat towards the back of the room and used the time to focus more on a personal project than pay attention to the teacher’s lesson, it wasn’t anything that you didn’t already know anyway. As you sketched out the next frame of your project, someone cleared their throat beside you to get your attention,

“What?” you snipped, not even bothering to look up at them because you knew who it was,

“See, that sparkling attitude is exactly why you have no friends…”

“Well what are you then huh? A charity worker?” you quipped and your best friend laughed,

“This is really coming along. I’ve never seen you so focused… or inspired.” She held one of your loose pages and inspected it, “Shits getting kinda dark though, don’t you think?”

She was holding a drawing of a scene where your protagonist was covered in her own blood after letting someone carve a confession into her skin- it was graphic but that was kind of the point,

“Not even close. Not yet.” You smiled and she laughed,

“Whatever, just don’t cut me up into tiny pieces when you finally lose it.”

After school, you made your way home by taking your usual route along the creek and you were silently plotting out the next chapters of your story when you were interrupted,

“Your arm.” He growled and you turned your head,

“Patrick, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not fucking nothing, tell me who.” He demanded, grabbing your waist to still your frame. His dark eyes were boring into your soul and you knew that you if didn’t tell him, he’d just take it out on everyone.

“Debbie.”

“Good Girl.” He praised and you swallowed before walking again, “Ah, hold on. You haven’t shown me the next part.”

You nodded and handed him your sketchbook. He flipped through it, his smirk growing into a full blown proud smile by the end,

“I like this part.” He announced lowly and you subtly smiled,

“Figured you might, you sick freak.”

“Which part do you want to recreate tonight then, princess?” he asked, slinging his arm around your shoulders,

“It’s nothing we haven’t done before… maybe you should come up with something inspiring, Trickster.” You teased and he raised an eyebrow,

“Challenge accepted.”

Patrick was trailing kisses all over your bare skin when he reached the bruise that he hadn’t made,

“No one ever gets to mark you but me, you understand?” it wasn’t really a question so much as a command and you just nodded slowly to express your compliance, “Good girl. Roll over.” He said, lifting your hips and helping you do as he had said. He pulled his pocket knife from his jeans and lightly skimmed the tip of the blade along your spine before he used his free hand to grip into your waist and where his thumb had left an impression, he made a cut. You hissed but you certainly didn’t dislike the feeling.

“Just mapping you out baby.” He whispered, kissing the opposite side before doing the same thing so that you would have symmetrical scars.

His breath fanned your neck before he sunk his teeth into your uninjured shoulder, breaking the skin and very lightly sucking as he released his bite,

“Ready for me yet, angel?” he asked and you only answered him with pleas, begging him to give you what you needed. He chuckled lowly at how desperate you’d become and how pliable you were for him. That was probably his favourite thing about you

“Dude! Did you hear?” your best friend bombarded you the second you set foot inside the school,

“Hear what?”

“Y/N, Debbie Marlston was attacked last night.” She blurted and you just stared at her blankly,

“How?”

“Her neighbour is Hilary’s cousin and he said that she was like in her backyard or whatever, having a smoke and then this guy came out of nowhere and cut her fingers off with those like giant hedge scissor things, isn’t that so insane?” she was shocked and kinda grossed out but she definitely wasn’t upset and neither were you…

“Do they know who did it?”

“Fucking clueless. Whoever it was, they did us all a favour if you ask me.”

Patrick naturally followed you home, as always and so as you were walking you asked

“Hedging shears… who’d you steal those from?”

He laughed, “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Not worried, just curious. They better not have come from my house, Hockstetter.” You warned,

“You don’t even have any hedges idiot.” He drawled before he cupped your face with a firm grip and his expression shifted drastically as his eyes narrowed at you, “Now, what did I say?”

“Not to worry about it.” You whispered meekly,

“There’s my girl.” He smiled, “What else do you say?”

“Thank you.” Your voice was still hushed but he nodded at you,

“That’s fucking right.”

[sorceresssundries]

'Time can prove to be a trickster on one's recollections - what would be multiple lifetimes for others now separate me from my captivity... Perhaps I have lost perspective on what happened to me.

I... have not had true confidantes for some time. The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth. '

Discussion of mental health below the cut.

Halsin breaks my fucking heart, man.

He spent so long shouldering the weight of the curse that he neglected dealing with his own shadows.

Right before this, he mentioned being chained to a bed for three years as a prisoner, yet he has convinced himself it may not have been as bad as it seemed, thinking perhaps he was actually a 'guest.'

As someone with CPTSD, I'm convinced Halsin has some form of it as well. Trauma and (C)PTSD affect the areas of the brain where memories are formed and kept. When traumatic memories are recalled, the perception of them can be altered leading to self-blame or minimisation of the trauma's severity.

Halsin's struggles are often downplayed, especially by him. - He doesn't have a tadpole, he isn't trying to ascend, he isn't being tempted by a dark path, and he doesn't require you to convince him to be good. He plays the part of the healer well, despite still needing healing himself.

Time can be a fixer, but it is also a trickster—and the more of it that passes, the trickier memories associated with trauma become to unpick. Centuries have passed for him.

I'm happy with the outcome of the game for Halsin, that he gets to relax, settle, and find his place alongside nature in the land he helped to free—but I almost wish there was more to explore with him. He deserves the world.

Sorry, i'm not sure what the point of this was I just have a lot of feelings about Halsin.

[emmytweetie]

I find batjokes fascinating because I love the exclusivity and confusion of the relationship.

With most of his other villains, the side of them that is good is more obvious. Harvey constantly shows his past on his face, Harley and Ivy are antiheroes half the damn time, Catwoman tends to blur the line between good and bad, Killer Croc is basically "what if a man with anger issues was also big and scaly", and Mr Freeze is entirely motivated by love. There's more, but the goodness is something that can be seen outside of Batman , and there doesn't need to be many reminders for him.

Come in, the Joker. Someone so broken he has turned to complete desensitisation of murder and cruelty. Someone so determined to make his whole life a performance, that Batman sometimes questions whether Joker's rare breakdowns and moments of kindheartedness are all a ruse. Even though he is supposed to believe there is good in everyone, there's just something about the Joker that causes him to doubt all he's ever known. And when u have someone so twisted and yet so broken obsessed with you, it's a real struggle

But, if Batman does end up seeing the good in him, or at least , a life worth saving, which he often does tend to, he ends up being completely alone. He can only convince people to avoid killing him for the sake of their own sanity, working on momentary lapses of judgement. And it becomes its own cruel joke, because no one can truly understand what he sees, because the joker is typically awful to anyone and everyone, leaving his best jokes for the Bat. And because the joker is more of a trickster than other obsessive villains, that isolation becomes maddening, and Batman, as he is, ends up just burying himself into a deeper hole.

Harley can kinda understand, but not really, because she's always known what they had was different, and it just leaves a sourness.

Alfred tries to be understanding of Bruce's obvious obsession, just as he tries to be understanding of all of his obsessions, but he really does go "I think it's just best to kill this guy, Bruce" , in his head, a lot.

But what Joker doesn't prepare for , is when the performances that used to grow better and better with time, just end up not working. Batman becomes assured of his own knowledge of the Joker, and also his lack there of ("he's been writing with his right hand the whole time but decided to write this letter with his left? Who gives a shit, it's the joker, this is the sort of thing he does."). Even though he can't properly communicate it to others, he starts to see right through him.

And that fucks up the Joker, when he realises he's ran out of tricks and secrets. "I'm the only one who understands to you" turns to "shit, he's the only one who understands me". It becomes glaringly more and more obvious to Joker that Batman is the way he is because he chooses to be, and that there is no darker self to embrace , for Batman is the darker self, which means Joker chooses to be himself every single day. Whilst Joker is shaken, he doesn't realise that Batman is shaken too- his increased understanding of the Joker and years of violence has ironically caused his moral core to become increasingly more unstable.

They go from the most assured and confident versions of themselves, to a sudden shift.

It starts with their fantasies: Batman who secretly hoped he could bring out the good in Joker for so long, starts to wonder about secret criminal missions he might have to undertake to bring Joker to justice forever, or maybe he should keep him locked up himself. He has fantasized about killing him before plenty, of course, but there's a difference now, because it's less about stopping him, and more about just letting him win, but he doesn't let himself make that conclusion.

And Joker, who used to plan all the ways he could bring Batman down to his level, realising its not working, starts to think: well, maybe I could help out sometimes. Maybe I don't have to ALWAYS be killing for the sake of the punchline, because maybe the joke has gotten a bit boring. Maybe it'd be funnier to save the people I tormented sometimes. Maybe parts of Batman do live inside Bruce Wayne, and we shouldn't be leaving any stones unturned, should we?

But these things don't mean anything. No, Bruce is just tired , it's normal to think about the easy way, and Joker, he's tired too, it's normal to think about variations in his joke, because it's not like it'd really change anything, because Batman still isn't going to laugh. And they can't let the other person notice , it would ruin it all.

And if Bruce does notice that Joker has been less violent than usual, and more grounded in reality, he can't hope that Joker has really changed, because it's all a sick game to the Joker, and that would mean having to feel guilty about breaking his bones: besides, Batman has been here before.

And Joker pays no mind to the empty, distant glares, the glares that are empty in the papers, and empty in person, because Batman always gets back up, because the dance can't end. Batman's always been violent towards him , and justifiably so, so that strange feeling in his gut? Its just from the fight. Because if those tired stares, unreasonable levels of violence towards criminals, and occasional smirks mean that something is changing, then this is what he should be wanting.

He recites his lines, and he gets a chuckle. He gets the response he's been waiting all these years for, but something feels wrong.

"Maybe we really are the same, Joker."

[lotusarchon]

Who do you think would the scariest yandere between wukong and macaque and why ?

Wukong, because for all the emo, evilness Macaque is, it's easier to predict him...in a way. He's the type of person who's pretty obvious that he would be a yandere, and all his actions would just prove your suspicion. He might be a good actor...but is it a surprise the dark and gloomy emo dude is a yandere??

See with Wukong, my personal opinion is he's scarier because of his personality, specifically. Whether it's pre journey, post journey or LMK era....he's unpredictable. Wukong knows how to play his cards right, and he's a trickster to the core. Though his personality does have to vary depending on the timeline... there's just no way you're gonna be safe.

Remember, this is the guy who only the Buddha was capable of defeating. You could be a god, mortal, demon etc, you WILL be doomed if Wukong ever falls in love with you.

Pre journey? He doesn't give a fuck - he's dragging you back with missing limps because pain is the best benefactor.

Post journey? Well, he might be less violent...but you're still getting dragged back with injuries if you keep being stubborn.

LMK era? Oh, you're fucked fucked. He's so nice and heroic :(( everyone loves him, how could you dare claim he's evil? Who's going to believe your babbling about his insanity, over him, the Monkey King? Not even MK is willing to help because come on, the Monkey King's changed! Or did someone put you up to that.

Personal opinion? I'd rather take Macaque over Wukong any day.

Macaque can die. Plus he fits the whole evil villain stereotype if you're smart enough.

Sun Wukong? You're better off dead. And that's if he'll even allow you to rest in the underworld in peace.

[waterdhaviancheeses]

Magical sex with Gale

I wrote this post the other day, and got a comment about which spell it was that Gale and Tav used in the bedroom. Though I didn't have a spell in mind, there are plenty of options.

NSFW, mention of drugs under the cut.

Thanks @sorcerervaati

Small disclaimer: I do not necessarily think Gale would be into all of these, and assume every act is safe, sane, and consensual.

Mage Hand, an obvious one, there is an entire ao3 tag dedicated to it. Gale would use it all the time, and loves to watch his partner get pleasured by the hand. Imagine the shenanigans he could get up to if he had the Arcane Trickster's ability to make the hand invisible…

Chill Touch, Frost Fingers, Burning Hands, Shocking Grasp, etc. for temperature play.

Message or Sending, it would become a challenge for him to see how hot and bothered he could get his partner in 25 words or less. He would send a filthy message right after leaving for work, and be delighted to come home to a desperately horny Tav.

Illusion spells! Every time Gale has to leave for work for a longer period of time, he leaves a programmed illusion as a surprise for Tav. He would set the trigger for when his name is spoken out loud, in case Tav moans his name while masturbating. The illusion itself could be anything from a naked Gale to just his voice. Gale is incredibly smug when he finds out the illusion was triggered while he was gone. 

Evards Black Tentacles, do I need to say more?

I imagine that some enchantment spells such as Charm Person, Command, and Dominate Person, could make you feel very rosy, like taking drugs. These spells would (obviously) work well in a sub/dom relationship.

Disguise self, perfect for gender bending!

Entangle, Hold Person, and Bigby's Hand for bondage.

Grease could be used as lube or massage oil, Gale would be talented enough to add some nice scents, flavors, and effects.

Invisibility, lasts an hour plenty of time to sneak into a bookstore or Blackstaff Academy and get busy. It is concentration, which only adds the thrill of getting caught.

Mirror Image, Gale would leave his mirror image at home as entertainment for Tav when he's at work. If Tav is also a mage, they let their images fuck while the two of them watch, betting on who would lose concentration first or keep their hand to themselves the longest.

Blindness/Deafness and Darkness for sensory deprivation.

Detect Thoughts and Telepathy, provide him with deeper insight in Tav’s likes and dislikes, where to touch when, how rough he can really be, what Tav really wants.

Enlarge, Gale is perfect the way he is, but has definitely enlarged his cock a couple of times.

Vortex Warp allows you to instantly switch places…

Arcane Eye and Scrying could be used to look in on Tav masturbating. Once again, if he was not at home and missing Tav, he sends a message, asking for a show from them.

Fabricate, for some impressive sex toys.

Polymorph, for a more primal connection, Halsin-style ;)

Animate Objects, Gale would use this spell to make sure the bed or sofa was as comfortable as possible for Tav. Or, perhaps, to get some help from the furniture to restrain or choke them.

Dream, how wonderful it is to be able to continue their escapades even after falling asleep.

Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion can be decorated in any way the caster wants, so a sex dungeon is on the table for sure.

Reverse Gravity, sex on the ceiling!

Last but not least: Simulacrum, 1500 gold is a small price to pay for another Gale, another set of his hands, another tongue, another mage hand. The Simulacrum can cast the same spells as Gale, so double the amount of fun :)

Which one is your favorite?